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Speaker 1: You were just saying you have people like like Texas

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Speaker 1: for fast Texas for what name? What name of the

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Speaker 1: restaurant did we go to in France? You know, just

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Speaker 1: like it's your it's your friend. You're on at tech.

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Speaker 1: If you have more than texts with somebody, you know them,

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Speaker 1: Like the people who are producing this podcast right now.

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Speaker 1: I'm not like, hey, Morgan, how's your morning going? Really

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Speaker 1: really rained cats and Dogs this weekend? Morgan's a producer,

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Speaker 1: Ray right, Oh your husband did oh wonderful? Okay, we

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Speaker 1: don't do that. You know what we do book salmahiak,

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Speaker 1: she's hot right now. That's that's the Texas Tina's okay.

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Speaker 1: We're not like, hey, Bethany, you look great. How are

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Speaker 1: you feeling? Have the cole on oscar we go last year?

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Speaker 1: Funck off? Nobody's interested. Okay, So my texting is like,

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Speaker 1: you know, what was the color of that shed? We

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Speaker 1: were gonna order people that like do work with me,

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Speaker 1: like contractors or whatever. Oh did we ever get the

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Speaker 1: bathtub stopper? No, I'm not like Garrett, my house manager,

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Speaker 1: who I love. I'm like, hey, Garrett, how's it going?

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Speaker 1: How's it go? Wow? What temperature do you have your

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Speaker 1: your bedroom on right now sixty nine because they say

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Speaker 1: ideal sleeping temperature sixty None of that, right, you just

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Speaker 1: textual experiences. It's just like text. So some people when

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Speaker 1: you just roll right into it, you know what they do,

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Speaker 1: you say, I'll fucking call it. Well, I'm not gonna

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Speaker 1: call me. Yeah, my contract, my contractor I'm like, what

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Speaker 1: was the what was the what was the measurement of

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Speaker 1: that couch or what did what do we think about

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Speaker 1: that couch? Or do we what data be unstall the fountain,

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Speaker 1: you know, with the responses good morning, why don't you

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Speaker 1: fuck off? Okay, that's past act for oh us. Over

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Speaker 1: here at Polite Incorporated, we start our textual exchanges with

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Speaker 1: a good morning or good day, good day mate, Like

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Speaker 1: I'm not interested. Okay, I'm not interested, particularly if I'm

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Speaker 1: compensating you in the currency of dollars or dropma. Okay,

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Speaker 1: we're not a fucking brand new online date. And even

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Speaker 1: then good good afternoon. Oh I get it? Did I

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Speaker 1: not put the lube on? Did I not do enough

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Speaker 1: for play? For you? You're fucking prisoner to your telephone now,

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Speaker 1: not only because you need it with you all the time,

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Speaker 1: but what about when it just decides we're done and

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Speaker 1: guess what, you only get to use this charger that

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Speaker 1: other fucking charge did you try to slip through? I

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Speaker 1: gotta go back to the store and buy one of ours.

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Speaker 1: But wait, there's more. If you didn't do that goddamn update,

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Speaker 1: your phone's gonna crap out and ship the bet on you.

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Speaker 1: And also once your phone hits the odmeter and you've

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Speaker 1: had it more than eighteen months, it's just gonna ship

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Speaker 1: the bed and stop charging because we don't fucking charge anymore. Okay,

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Speaker 1: we just decided we're on charge strike. You get a

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Speaker 1: little bit here and there every you're gonna become a junkie,

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Speaker 1: wrap that rubber bound around your arm and hit that

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Speaker 1: charge just spot everywhere you go. Let me get in

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Speaker 1: the car. They're gonna gotta get the hit, get the

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Speaker 1: hit and the coaches because it do you have a

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Speaker 1: car charger? The hooper driver? Do you have a car

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Speaker 1: just because you're gonna get to the next place, get

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Speaker 1: into the restaurant holding your charge and that brick thing

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Speaker 1: that bluff do a charger? Could you send you have

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Speaker 1: a charge it? Hey? No, yes, it was me charging

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Speaker 1: the phone. Yes, of the white case. But guess what,

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Speaker 1: that white case to have a charging battery, it doesn't

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Speaker 1: work anymore. It's shipped the bed too, because it's made

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Speaker 1: by Apple a k. The Handmaid's Tail. They own you,

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Speaker 1: and you're gonna do it their way, and when they

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Speaker 1: want you to change the way that you do it,

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Speaker 1: you're gonna do it or you're gonna die. Your device

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Speaker 1: is gonna die. Sometimes sometimes I fall asleep and I

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Speaker 1: don't put my phone in the fucking charger. Huh. Those

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Speaker 1: are fun days the next day, but whole next day

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Speaker 1: just fucking sticking the goddamn cord in between my toes,

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Speaker 1: trying to get us quick quick charge hit, because on

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Speaker 1: those days I'm fucked. Those are the days you go

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Speaker 1: to zero. See that sad little battery thing with that

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Speaker 1: red little spot at the end, because you were just

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Speaker 1: so irresponsible you couldn't even keep your phone hydrated, much

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Speaker 1: less your body. Let's talk about people who like to

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Speaker 1: be friends with rich people. You know who they are.

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Speaker 1: It happens a lot on the housewives and reality TV

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Speaker 1: people who are friends of rich people. Now, I a

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Speaker 1: lot of rich people like to be friends with me,

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Speaker 1: which is interesting because I don't give a good fuck,

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Speaker 1: and they're so used to everybody kissing their ass that

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Speaker 1: I find that they liked the few people that don't

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Speaker 1: kiss their ass. And they're also all friends with their

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Speaker 1: like high school friends that are just still down to

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Speaker 1: earth and they're the only people they can trust. And

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Speaker 1: the reason I don't give a shit about someone being

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Speaker 1: riches because they're not giving me a deposit slip with

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Speaker 1: their banking information when we meet, so like I don't.

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Speaker 1: I'm not an amazing guest, right, I'm going on a

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Speaker 1: friend's trip soon for a very brief period of time,

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Speaker 1: and I have been invited no less than six times.

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Speaker 1: And this is a major person and a major trip,

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Speaker 1: and I've been invited no less than six times. But

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Speaker 1: I'm not like a glamor grabber, and I don't always

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Speaker 1: need to be. I want to be on someone else's

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Speaker 1: program and I don't like to take from someone else.

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Speaker 1: And so I think about a lot of people that

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Speaker 1: I know that really just love to talk about other

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Speaker 1: people that they're friends with that are rich and to

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Speaker 1: use it as their own currency. And it never makes

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Speaker 1: any sense to me, because what is it? What? You're

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Speaker 1: not the one who made all the money. You're not

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Speaker 1: the person who's rich. Why are all these people like

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Speaker 1: trading in on everybody else's either fame or money. I'm

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Speaker 1: friends with Lebron James. Okay, can you fucking dunk from

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Speaker 1: Florida Nebraska? I don't think so. Who gives a ship?

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Speaker 1: People love to like? It's like fame and wealth by association,

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Speaker 1: and I don't understand it. I don't understand it. It

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Speaker 1: doesn't make it. Are they giving you their house? If? Listen,

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Speaker 1: if really really wealthy people when I meet them, tell

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Speaker 1: me we could be friends, and I'm putting you in

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Speaker 1: my will. I mean, listen, there's always and I'm always

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Speaker 1: a price. But otherwise, be friends with who you fucking mike,

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Speaker 1: and who you don't like, and who you trust and

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Speaker 1: who you don't trust. That's the end of the goddamn story.