Speaker 1: Hell I Suck At Dating with Dean, Vanessa and Jarrett
Speaker 1: and I Heart Radio Podcast. Hello everyone, thank you so
Speaker 1: much for joining us on this week's episode of Help
Speaker 1: I Suck At Dating. This is our second episode of
Speaker 1: two thousand nineteen, and I'm so so happy because it's
Speaker 1: like a solar eclipse. It only comes around every once
Speaker 1: in a while, but when it does come around, you
Speaker 1: want to make sure that you remember where you are.
Speaker 1: You want to make sure you're not gonna miss it.
Speaker 1: You want to make sure it's something you're gonna remember
Speaker 1: for the rest of your life. Because Vanessa Grimaldi is
Speaker 1: back in studio with us. Thank you so much. Vanessa.
Speaker 1: Breath of fresh Air just flew in. I wasn't a
Speaker 1: had it was raining in l A. No one knows
Speaker 1: how to drive whenever it rains in l A. So
Speaker 1: my my cab driver took literally fifty five minutes to
Speaker 1: drive here. And then, obviously I have the worst luck
Speaker 1: whenever I travel, and the ridge to let us off
Speaker 1: the airplane wasn't opening, so we had to call them,
Speaker 1: the mechanics, and that took another thirty minutes. Anyways, I'm here,
Speaker 1: I'm jet last. Everything I'm looking at your Instagram stories.
Speaker 1: There's always something something. I didn't post anything this time,
Speaker 1: so I'm like, I just don't wanna. I just don't
Speaker 1: want to like put that out to the universe exactly.
Speaker 1: But it's still ended up happening. But I'm here and
Speaker 1: I'm so happy. You guys, we miss you. It's so
Speaker 1: much better when you're in studio. It's just fantastic. We
Speaker 1: have some great guests as well. So we have the
Speaker 1: new from the new show Temptation Island. We have the
Speaker 1: host Mark Wahlberg. No, not the Boston Mark Wahlberg. We
Speaker 1: have the host Mark Wall Mark Walberg into Mark walk
Speaker 1: will be in studio. We also have a very special
Speaker 1: guest formerly from The Bachelor franchise and now currently on
Speaker 1: X on the Beach season two. We have Bad Chad
Speaker 1: Chad John in studio. We'll talk about it more later,
Speaker 1: but Dean's not excited about this. Well, Dean, you kind
Speaker 1: of made some waves last week. Yeah, I wasn't really
Speaker 1: unexpectedly because I got a lot of tweets about it.
Speaker 1: What I got a lot of tweets about it because
Speaker 1: so pretty much you did a weekly spot on Access
Speaker 1: Hollywood last week. It's a weekly spot of recapping The Bachelor,
Speaker 1: and you were one of the guests. And then there
Speaker 1: was an US Weekly article that came out from that interview.
Speaker 1: And US Weekly article is headlined Dean Angler Shade's ex
Speaker 1: Leslie Murphy as he slams fake Bachelor Nation relationships. And
Speaker 1: so then I obviously saw this headline, went back to
Speaker 1: watch the interview and let me read the direct quote
Speaker 1: that Dean said on Access Hollywood last week, the day
Speaker 1: after the Bachelor premiere quote, none of these Bachelor relationships
Speaker 1: are real, not a single one of them. Maybe you've
Speaker 1: got some marriages and some kids. Those ones are real,
Speaker 1: but every one of them is fake and contrived and
Speaker 1: not I'm not I'm not into that. Well the funniest
Speaker 1: I'm not. Okay, that's more. Dean went on to say, granted,
Speaker 1: there's some that are real, like those ones, I guess,
Speaker 1: but boyfriend girlfriend relationships, every single one of them, it's fake. Dean,
Speaker 1: do you stand by what you said? And he said
Speaker 1: this with a smile too. That was everything I say
Speaker 1: is with a smile and laugh. And it's the fact
Speaker 1: that people still take me seriously, what were you serious?
Speaker 1: I was, to a degree, But it's also like, come on,
Speaker 1: I I pride myself on being sarcastic, right, Like that
Speaker 1: is like a staple of my personality is sarcasm. And
Speaker 1: I saw you take me out my word, you were
Speaker 1: not being sarcasmic. You had I actually want to text
Speaker 1: you after that picked a little bit of speed up,
Speaker 1: and I was like, darre just so you know, like
Speaker 1: I'm not talking like I know you and Ashley are
Speaker 1: obviously as real as I get. Well, I think that's
Speaker 1: what people why I got a lot of a little
Speaker 1: attention on social media because I think when you first
Speaker 1: said it, I think a lot of minds went directly
Speaker 1: to actuallyified boyfriend girlfriend because you guys are not boyfriend girlfriends,
Speaker 1: which yes, but because you go and you say, I
Speaker 1: guess if you've got some marriages and some kids, those
Speaker 1: ones are real. Well, the interview kind of the interviewer
Speaker 1: have led me to say that I would have continued
Speaker 1: to say that all of them were a little bit
Speaker 1: more fake. But well, I never asked you about what
Speaker 1: you thought of my relationship with Nick. Did you think that, Well,
Speaker 1: I didn't know you during that relationship, right, but still
Speaker 1: you don't know half of these relationships in bashelor world,
Speaker 1: but you're still assuming that they're fake. Yeah, well right,
Speaker 1: it was easier to assume from a distance, especially when
Speaker 1: you're not personally tied to them, Like after saying, after um,
Speaker 1: that interview and again like I'm we spoke about it
Speaker 1: last week a little bit too. Is just like I've had,
Speaker 1: I've got a bad taste in my mouth as it
Speaker 1: comes to relationships in general, and so that interview came
Speaker 1: fresh after my jaded nous from something that relation that
Speaker 1: I've had, Right, Um, because you found out a relationship
Speaker 1: you were in maybe wasn't as real as you thought
Speaker 1: it was. Yes, that's part of it, um, and we
Speaker 1: can get into that later. But uh, there are certain
Speaker 1: relationships that obviously you look up to and you idolize,
Speaker 1: like an Ashley and a Jared or even like a
Speaker 1: Kendall and a Joe. Like Kendall reach out to me
Speaker 1: and it was like, um, hey, just you know, like
Speaker 1: people are reaching out to me questioning this, and I
Speaker 1: was like, well, Kendall, I know that you and Joe
Speaker 1: are really like you guys are adorable together. Adam and
Speaker 1: Raven for instance, are are adorable together. Like there's their
Speaker 1: boyfriend girlfriend they are absolutely Kendall and Joe and Adam
Speaker 1: and Raven. You said, I guess, but boyfriend girlfriend relationships.
Speaker 1: I'm not trying to grill you, but now please because
Speaker 1: also I want people to know what you truly meant
Speaker 1: by these because I think they are being I think
Speaker 1: that frustrates me. And if you listen and watch the whole,
Speaker 1: it's like a five minute interview. If you watch a
Speaker 1: whole interview. Um, I did a better job of kind
Speaker 1: of like articulating what I meant later on when I
Speaker 1: was saying that people will go into these shows and
Speaker 1: prioritize a relationship over a person, right, and so typically
Speaker 1: and I have that quote, I'd like to read it
Speaker 1: because I I think it's a good quote. So you
Speaker 1: went on to continue and you said, I think contestants
Speaker 1: on The Bachelor prioritize a relationship over the person, so
Speaker 1: they're like, I love being in a relationship more than
Speaker 1: I love you as a person, and that stuff. It
Speaker 1: sucks just to know how it should be. You should
Speaker 1: love a person and then want to be in a
Speaker 1: relationship with them, not love the idea of a relationship,
Speaker 1: and then you find someone to be in that with
Speaker 1: you I said that, you did say that. I actually
Speaker 1: that makes sense. I agree with that, especially coming off
Speaker 1: of the Bachelor franchise, where you have like this idea
Speaker 1: of like what the relationship could bring you and like
Speaker 1: the attention that you can get from the relations So
Speaker 1: I zoom out. So that was my central thought, and
Speaker 1: I zoom out from that, and you're you're thinking to yourself, Okay,
Speaker 1: these relationships are existing because the relationship was the central
Speaker 1: starting point for that, not so much the other person.
Speaker 1: If these two people had met in real life, would
Speaker 1: it have happened the way that it had happened, If
Speaker 1: there was no component of the public relationship, would it
Speaker 1: be the way that it is? And that's it's just
Speaker 1: there are certain relationships that obviously that would happen. It's
Speaker 1: you're very grateful that the show is what brought you
Speaker 1: together to then be able to form those everlasting relationships,
Speaker 1: but it's also like remove the component of public notoriety,
Speaker 1: of social influence of everything, the monetary gain of whatever
Speaker 1: it is, and then will those relationships still be there?
Speaker 1: Like you look at Jared and Ashley and actually has
Speaker 1: been in love with Jared literally from the moment she
Speaker 1: laid eyes on you. She could care less whether you
Speaker 1: were on a reality t V show or not. Granted it,
Speaker 1: it took you a little bit longer to realize that,
Speaker 1: but once you did, then you were a hun percent
Speaker 1: all in. You could delete your Instagram today and you
Speaker 1: and actually would still be married for the rest of
Speaker 1: your lives. And that's something that I don't think many
Speaker 1: people from the franchise would be able to do to
Speaker 1: varying degrees, you know what I mean. I just think
Speaker 1: that there's a certain component that people factor into a
Speaker 1: relationship with this show that it's not very normal. I agree.
Speaker 1: I agree with that statement. I think what killed you
Speaker 1: with your statements was that you started off the interviews
Speaker 1: saying none of the Bachelor relationships are real. That was
Speaker 1: the only thing, and then you even went to go
Speaker 1: more detailed by saying, well, maybe just boyfriend girlfriend. But
Speaker 1: then of course there are very famous, not famous, but
Speaker 1: very well known relationships that are just boyfriend girlfriend from
Speaker 1: the from the franchise. I have a question. I don't
Speaker 1: think anyone questions Jared Nashley, because that's an ongoing great thing.
Speaker 1: The unique perspective is a past relationship from the Bachelor
Speaker 1: that didn't work out so well and how legitimate that was?
Speaker 1: So Vanessa, you were quizzing him about you do you
Speaker 1: think me and me and Nick were real? So the
Speaker 1: question is what do you think years later? Was it real?
Speaker 1: Between you and Nick? It was real, however, I think
Speaker 1: if there wasn't the pressure of there's those a few
Speaker 1: things involved, right, Like the idea of engagement for me
Speaker 1: was so critical and I took that to heart. Instagram engagement. No.
Speaker 1: Do you know what sponsors I said no to? And
Speaker 1: it's like, I don't even want to get into that
Speaker 1: because I did in capitalize not no, And there's a
Speaker 1: lot of things that I'm Mike, I should have said
Speaker 1: yes to certain things. But anyway, I don't even want
Speaker 1: to get into that. Um, but I do think, you know,
Speaker 1: we started realizing early on in the relationship that it
Speaker 1: was we were very very different people. And you both
Speaker 1: know Nick and you both know me, and I don't
Speaker 1: think that if if I would never pin you two together, right,
Speaker 1: it's so interesting knowing you both now they're like, Wow,
Speaker 1: they were engaged. Let's say it's a bad thing. You're
Speaker 1: just very different, very different outside of television. I don't
Speaker 1: think no, I don't think if we would have massed
Speaker 1: that your situation, I guess you can consider unique because
Speaker 1: it took you time to realize that, and once you
Speaker 1: realized that, then you guys were like amicable. Okay, let's
Speaker 1: that backup Dean's point for you to say that you
Speaker 1: wouldn't have worked outside of television. Yes, However, I wouldn't
Speaker 1: say that all baster relationships, boyfriend and girlf relationships are
Speaker 1: fake because and I would I wouldn't. I wouldn't come
Speaker 1: down to that conclusion with my relationship with Nick. So
Speaker 1: the point that that topic even got addressed in that
Speaker 1: interview was the very first question that interviewer asked me
Speaker 1: was three months ago, you said that you'll never be
Speaker 1: in a bachelorationship again, and I said, I will never
Speaker 1: be in a bachelorationship again because of this reason, because
Speaker 1: this is how I feel that the starting point is
Speaker 1: everyone probably has the relationship. I don't want to be
Speaker 1: the second priority relationship, and that's exactly how I feel.
Speaker 1: But I wouldn't say all because all batchelor relationships are fake.
Speaker 1: I've said the same statement I would never and have
Speaker 1: been asked to do Bachelor in Paradise winner games and
Speaker 1: all that, and I said no to them. I've kindly
Speaker 1: declined because I just don't want my relationship to be
Speaker 1: the center of what's going on in my life. And
Speaker 1: I want that person to love me for me and
Speaker 1: not me for you know, the idea of who they
Speaker 1: think I am. Yeah, yeah, of course. Well my question
Speaker 1: for you, Dean two questions, because we talked about our
Speaker 1: relationships and whether they're real or not. So the question
Speaker 1: for me is, was your looking back on it now?
Speaker 1: Was your relationship with Leslie real? Oh? And yeah? And what? Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's I really don't want. It's hard because I don't.
Speaker 1: I feel like I've already commented too much on that. La.
Speaker 1: You can only speak for yourself months ago at this point, Um,
Speaker 1: how many months ago? Like seven months ago? Seven months ago?
Speaker 1: Haven't listen, it's gonna be two years. No, how many
Speaker 1: years am I single? It's gonna be two years and
Speaker 1: got engaged? Yeah, No, it's gonna be two years in
Speaker 1: August that I'm single and I'm still talking about my
Speaker 1: engagement with Nick. So it's only been seven months January.
Speaker 1: You can't see it. Well, listen, I'm Italian, we like
Speaker 1: think way ahead. I'm like thirty two already, Dean. Was
Speaker 1: it real for you? Yeah? Yeah, it was. Um, it
Speaker 1: took some time, it took some warming up. It was
Speaker 1: I think that there were still some things that I
Speaker 1: had to work through personally. But once I was able
Speaker 1: to work through them, I bought into it. I I was,
Speaker 1: I was fully committed to it. Um. But then it's
Speaker 1: like once you go all in and with something and
Speaker 1: then you realize it's not what you expected it to be,
Speaker 1: things kind of start to deterior pretty quickly. Um. And
Speaker 1: then it's like, okay, you you've essentially achieved Nirvana, right,
Speaker 1: You've You've reached the peak of the summit, and this
Speaker 1: is what life is supposed to be like for the
Speaker 1: rest of your life. And then you get up there
Speaker 1: and you're like, well, okay, wait, this is actually going
Speaker 1: down here really quickly. Things aren't exactly how I expected
Speaker 1: them to be. The view isn't as quite as picturesque
Speaker 1: and beautiful as I thought it was going to be,
Speaker 1: So why the heck did I climb to the top
Speaker 1: of the mountain in this first place? Um? And then
Speaker 1: you start to like backtrack and you're like, okay, well wait,
Speaker 1: maybe we're not supposed to be together. We've both given
Speaker 1: it at all. We both tried everything that we could.
Speaker 1: There is still value to gain from staying together in
Speaker 1: this relationship, even though we don't necessarily love each other
Speaker 1: to the fullest extent that our hearts are capable of.
Speaker 1: And yet it's beneficial for us to stay together there
Speaker 1: but despite that, our well being would be better off
Speaker 1: if we were to move in. What do you mean
Speaker 1: it was beneficial for you guys to stay together, because well,
Speaker 1: look at any relationship. I didn't know where you were
Speaker 1: going with this because at first it was like about
Speaker 1: climbing him out and looking at the view, and so
Speaker 1: I was I thought it was another menag. I thought
Speaker 1: it was another metaphor. So are you staying Are you
Speaker 1: saying you stayed in it because there was potential monetary gain? Exactly?
Speaker 1: Can't we just call it what it is? Sometimes on
Speaker 1: these relationships you make more money together than you do
Speaker 1: a part where you have more likes or you have
Speaker 1: more followers, you get more appearances or more access Hollywood interviews.
Speaker 1: It's like, just call it out right, what's what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: That's what I'm that's what I'm calling out and That's
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. We reached a point. And again, it's
Speaker 1: it's not that one of us is a horrible person
Speaker 1: in the end day, It's just that together we weren't
Speaker 1: a match. We reached a point. We both gave it.
Speaker 1: We both gave a percent effort. I again, I put
Speaker 1: an astecs next to that, because whatever. But and there's
Speaker 1: so many frustrating things that I just cannot say there.
Speaker 1: But I get that clearly this was real for you,
Speaker 1: just because of how deeply affected you've been by whatever
Speaker 1: you found out in the past few weeks, which we
Speaker 1: don't know, but I kind of clearly infected you in
Speaker 1: a way because you literally went on Access Hollywood and
Speaker 1: said none of the relationships. Obviously there's a clear I'm
Speaker 1: a train. I was on the tracks and now I'm
Speaker 1: completely off the tracks. Let's just face facts. I'm off
Speaker 1: the rails. I don't know what I'm talking about anymore.
Speaker 1: I'm the loose cannon of Bachelor Nations. A lot of
Speaker 1: truth what I think you were inferring. But the lucky
Speaker 1: thing for Jared and Ashley is yes, there are many
Speaker 1: benefits to them being together, but they also are genuinely
Speaker 1: completely in love with each other and they would be
Speaker 1: even without all the others. At point, that's why I
Speaker 1: said Jared Deletes's Instagram and actually they're going to stay
Speaker 1: together for the rest of their lives. That's not the
Speaker 1: case with everybody. And again, I'm not gonna I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna make like a half as statement where I say
Speaker 1: you have some couple of some couples, aren't I'm gonna
Speaker 1: be objective and say all of them. And again like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm a little I'm being a bit like brash and
Speaker 1: over the top, um, but that's just that's just who
Speaker 1: I am. And I'm as sarcastic as I pointed out before.
Speaker 1: It's just like everything I say has to be taken
Speaker 1: with a very thick layer of sarcasm. But not everyone
Speaker 1: gets that, and especially like no, that's that was to
Speaker 1: Kendall's point too. She reached out and she said, you
Speaker 1: know that Joe and Eyes relationship is as real as
Speaker 1: it guests. And I said, yes, I know that, Ashley. There,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry Amy the grammar nazi over here, um, And
Speaker 1: I said, yes, I know that, and then kinda rebuked
Speaker 1: with saying how people tend to take even like my
Speaker 1: word as gospel. Despite how I like view myself as
Speaker 1: very sarcastic, other people don't see me that way. I
Speaker 1: think a lot of people view um, they don't take
Speaker 1: our word as gospel. But the fact is, you have
Speaker 1: more knowledge about these relationships that anybody than anybody else.
Speaker 1: So with if you say it, they're gonna take it
Speaker 1: as fact because they're like, crap, well, Dean's friends with
Speaker 1: all these people, so obviously these relationships are fake. That's
Speaker 1: why I don't know. Yeah, I mean I again, I
Speaker 1: still stand by what I said, Like, I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: waiver on that. Maybe in a year I'll look back
Speaker 1: and be like, why the heck did I say that?
Speaker 1: But right now I'm still in this mindset where I,
Speaker 1: in an ideal world, I will never be in a
Speaker 1: bachelorationship again. But that's his wife up. Her husband did
Speaker 1: it up right now, So granted her and I are
Speaker 1: never gonna work out. Now. Here's the thing, though, if
Speaker 1: you meet somebody off camera that is in the bachelor family,
Speaker 1: that is like, for example, Jason and Caitlyn right now,
Speaker 1: there's all these rumors that they're dating and they're together.
Speaker 1: That's definitely a bachelor relationship. Yeah, but he okay. So
Speaker 1: here's my thing with that too, is I'm not doubting
Speaker 1: I don't know the extent of the relationship at all.
Speaker 1: I don't think any of us really do at this
Speaker 1: point yet. Maybe they're just going on dates, whatever it is.
Speaker 1: But the fact that so so much and I love
Speaker 1: Jason and I know that he is. Yeah, And then
Speaker 1: they're both as realist and I love them both. They're
Speaker 1: both as real as it gets. But part of it
Speaker 1: also is like, are you in this? Are you in
Speaker 1: this relationship because you like me? Are you in this
Speaker 1: relationship because you like the way that people think that
Speaker 1: we are together? Could it be? And I'm just asking
Speaker 1: the question that any relationships in this Bachelor Nation world
Speaker 1: are different then a traditional relationship because of the public
Speaker 1: eye and and that you went on a show. I
Speaker 1: think they're inherently different. I think it's I think, well, yes,
Speaker 1: I think you're right. I think it's also it's two
Speaker 1: people that have experienced something that no one else is
Speaker 1: ever going to be able to relate to. And I
Speaker 1: think at least for like my relationship with Nick, we
Speaker 1: were we were bonding off of that, right, But that's
Speaker 1: the only thing you're bonding off. Now, I'm saying I
Speaker 1: think that was like we had we we we started
Speaker 1: to have like a solid foundation, and then like we
Speaker 1: started realizing that we were very different. But then we're like, Okay,
Speaker 1: well we came this far. We have like this crazy
Speaker 1: experience and like that no one else will really ever understand.
Speaker 1: Let's see, let's try to make it work. And we
Speaker 1: did a couples therapy and I've openly spoken about this
Speaker 1: um but at the end of the day, like we
Speaker 1: both said, like it's not worth extending and staying in
Speaker 1: a relationship that makes us both unhappy of course for
Speaker 1: like the gain of what that's gonna last like, And
Speaker 1: to harp back to like the Jason and quit Caitlyn
Speaker 1: question that you guys brought up, nobody's above questioning, you know,
Speaker 1: like anytime someone questions my relationship with Ashley, I actually
Speaker 1: don't mind it, and I don't care if they do,
Speaker 1: because if they don't know me, sure they can question
Speaker 1: where public figures, they can question whatever relationship I'm in,
Speaker 1: and because I don't mind defending it because I know
Speaker 1: how real it is. So if somebody who doesn't know
Speaker 1: me says you guys are fake, Well, you don't know
Speaker 1: where you're talking about. And so I agree with you
Speaker 1: the Jason and Caitlin thing, like, I hope that they're
Speaker 1: really happy. But sure, there's nothing wrong with questioning if
Speaker 1: people are real or not, especially in the relationships or
Speaker 1: what their objectives are to stay together in a relationship
Speaker 1: within the Bachelor franchise. Um, But I just I think
Speaker 1: it was different because it came from you. That was
Speaker 1: the only difference within this entire thing. But what is it?
Speaker 1: What does it matter whether comes from me or someone else,
Speaker 1: because you know us. And so if somebody who's our
Speaker 1: friends says every relationship is fake, there and then it's
Speaker 1: obviously alluding to people that, Yeah, if it's someone who
Speaker 1: is part of the franchise but not really involved in it,
Speaker 1: then it's like, oh, they're just assuming. For example, before
Speaker 1: I was on the show watching this, I was I
Speaker 1: remember watching Shaun and Catherine's wedding special years ago, and
Speaker 1: I was like, fake, they're doing all of fame. And
Speaker 1: of course I was just an ignorant guy who didn't
Speaker 1: know the actual relationships behind these these these people. And
Speaker 1: so I don't fault people for making their own opinions
Speaker 1: on my relationship, well unless they know me. Well, here's
Speaker 1: the only difference. Yeah, I mean, I've known you for
Speaker 1: a little over a year now, I've known more than that.
Speaker 1: I met you. You met him before you met me,
Speaker 1: so we've known you. I've known you for a while. Dean,
Speaker 1: I've known you for almost a year and a half.
Speaker 1: You're You're on Rachel season so you were like spring
Speaker 1: You're on TV. Yes. Anyways, the point is that, yeah,
Speaker 1: so I but I met you during the summer, like
Speaker 1: so like summer seen. I don't think that you're what
Speaker 1: you're And Ashley's romantic history is not I'm not talking
Speaker 1: about U's not normal though. This is the point that
Speaker 1: I'm trying to make. It's like, is there a specific okay,
Speaker 1: is there a specific couple you want to call out?
Speaker 1: Is that you're looking to call it out on their right?
Speaker 1: The point that I'm trying to make is Jared And
Speaker 1: this is how I this is how I idolized love
Speaker 1: in my brain is Jared was an idiot and fought
Speaker 1: it so hard every step of the way, and yet
Speaker 1: him and Ashley are still together. So despite everything, Ashley
Speaker 1: and Jared are still in love. And gonna get married,
Speaker 1: and that's how I you love? Is this the word
Speaker 1: despite I think is super important, Despite Jared fighting it
Speaker 1: and and trying to not let it happen, It's still
Speaker 1: happened because that's just the universe telling them that they're
Speaker 1: supposed to be together. On the other side, it's people
Speaker 1: that are saying, because of all of this, I want
Speaker 1: to be with you, not I want to be with you,
Speaker 1: and then this is all again. That's my point. I
Speaker 1: agree with you because I've even on this past season
Speaker 1: in Paradise, there were people that went on there and
Speaker 1: we're like, I just want what Tanner and Jade are, like,
Speaker 1: I want a relationship like Tanner and Jade Carl and
Speaker 1: they were given all examples of Bachelor people because they
Speaker 1: were on Bachelor in Paradise. But you're right, people go
Speaker 1: into this wanting relationship and then they fill whatever that
Speaker 1: spot is with somebody that they think, you know, should
Speaker 1: be that person. Mr Right there, it's like, is there
Speaker 1: any chance of maybe What you were actually saying is
Speaker 1: it's like these bachelor couples, it's easier for you to
Speaker 1: all date each other and then you just fall into
Speaker 1: it almost like a crutch and then you're just in
Speaker 1: it and doing it and half the time you don't
Speaker 1: even live in the same city. So it's this long
Speaker 1: distance sort of public instagram e thing. When if you
Speaker 1: met under totally different circumstances, would it still be right?
Speaker 1: And I agree that because the relationships are formed from
Speaker 1: the Bachelor, they probably last longer than they would in
Speaker 1: in normal life, you know, because you know, there's so
Speaker 1: much there's so much public opinion behind that that I'm
Speaker 1: sure people are like, no, we should really try to
Speaker 1: stay together. No seeing Nick and I were like, nope,
Speaker 1: we know we're gonna get backlash, Like whatever, let's just
Speaker 1: do what makes us happy. None of the couples that
Speaker 1: have gotten married have gotten divorced, I know, so there
Speaker 1: is zero. If you're willing to go across that threshold,
Speaker 1: then you know that that's going to be a legitimate commitment.
Speaker 1: And that's sad. Easy to date someone's easy people, someone's
Speaker 1: boyfriend or something course. I mean, that's sad if you're
Speaker 1: thinking about the fact that you're basically paralyzed because you're
Speaker 1: afraid of what people are going to say if a
Speaker 1: relationship doesn't work out. I think, I mean, you can
Speaker 1: speak from personal experience, but I would say that's probably
Speaker 1: pretty true. Yeah, it's it's it's sad. It is sad
Speaker 1: that you take into account what other people say. I mean,
Speaker 1: we we all do it. Though it makes me uncomfortable,
Speaker 1: but you know what makes me super constant life. There's
Speaker 1: plenty of couples that don't get divorced or break right.
Speaker 1: You don't have families or their friends, or they don't
Speaker 1: want to hurt their kids. So it's not that unreal.
Speaker 1: It's sort of twisted, heightened reality, but it's not that
Speaker 1: different than what regular people like me and Mark did.
Speaker 1: I did I adequately answer that question. I think it
Speaker 1: makes sense. You absolutely made sense. You're basically saying you
Speaker 1: want if you're going to be in a relationship with
Speaker 1: someone from the bachelor world, you want that person to
Speaker 1: love you for you, despite the fact you have X
Speaker 1: amount of followers, or that you are a public figure,
Speaker 1: or that I think the most the most I was
Speaker 1: saying by the other day, the most important word in
Speaker 1: any relationship is the word despite, because right, exactly right. Well,
Speaker 1: Dona hope you never changed because you went from cashtag
Speaker 1: cult not my Bachelor to every bachelor relationship. Like I said,
Speaker 1: I've been training, I'm off the rail. All that stuff
Speaker 1: makes me super uncomfortable. But do you know, do you
Speaker 1: know what makes me really comfortable that what I'm wearing
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Speaker 1: Like you know your shoe size, right, you have pluses
Speaker 1: and in bra sizes, no, there's like there's no B
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Speaker 1: Third Love basically has a P. It's like a B
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Speaker 1: that five times fast. What you said, the comum cot cotton. No,
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Speaker 1: I don't sleep with any bra under underwear. But if
Speaker 1: I had to, no, no, I wear. I wear pajamas.
Speaker 1: But if I had to sleep like an underwear and stuff,
Speaker 1: I'd definitely sleep in Third Love. Um so well, y'aw
Speaker 1: that topic, Jared, what are you sleeping? I sleep in
Speaker 1: boxers because I'm a just boxers boxers, no shirt, just boxing.
Speaker 1: Uh no under the covers. I love feeling that I feel.
Speaker 1: I love feeling a little bit colder and then the
Speaker 1: comforts on and it's like that little crisp see. I
Speaker 1: can only sleep like that if I have a headache.
Speaker 1: If I have headache, yeah, what if I have a migraine.
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Speaker 1: Slash v A n e s s A for off today.
Speaker 1: Did you spell your name correctly? Did you say v
Speaker 1: E V A? It sounds like the guys I'm jet lags.
Speaker 1: Can we all spelled together? Because I was all right?
Speaker 1: Ready one two three v A N e S S Today.
Speaker 1: All right, So we have a special guest in studio,
Speaker 1: a very special guest host of the new show on US,
Speaker 1: A Temptation Island. We have in studio not from Boston,
Speaker 1: but mac l Wahlberg. Mark, thanks so much for joining us.
Speaker 1: Glad to be all right. I love that Bostonian accent there.
Speaker 1: Mock well when we first when I first heard Mark
Speaker 1: Wahlberg is coming in studio, I thought a little confused. Well,
Speaker 1: I thought it helped I suck a dating, just got
Speaker 1: a huge jump in the budget to get our guests.
Speaker 1: But Mark, we're very excited for you to be And
Speaker 1: it was like, oh that But and he I say,
Speaker 1: I said, you look like just hit me with every
Speaker 1: dispossible skin it out now. Well, not that Mark Walburg.
Speaker 1: I'm not Chris Harrison. I'm just some schmuck who wonders
Speaker 1: you have to Remember I'm from Providence, right Island, so
Speaker 1: like the Walburger, they walk on sacred ground, you know,
Speaker 1: I understand their turf and I'm a big fan of there,
Speaker 1: So I mean, how can I not be. My name
Speaker 1: is Mark Walburg. I get quizzed on his career every day,
Speaker 1: and I mean, Mark, I gotta say to to to
Speaker 1: kind of go against the graend with what the two
Speaker 1: co hosts over here are doing. Temptation Island from the
Speaker 1: early two thousands is when it initially aired, Right, was
Speaker 1: one of the most popular TV shows of all time.
Speaker 1: I thought was the at the time, I think with
Speaker 1: the highest rated show in the history of Fox, and
Speaker 1: that was your show. I hosted it. Well that means
Speaker 1: it's yours essentially, Right. It was very early. It was
Speaker 1: like reality TV had not It wasn't a thing. It
Speaker 1: was like Big Brother came out and nobody really watched it.
Speaker 1: First Survibra came out was a hit, and then We
Speaker 1: came out, and then Right and then I think like
Speaker 1: MTV started spinning off Real World and Road Rules, and
Speaker 1: Real was the first first. Then there was a special
Speaker 1: called Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire? Which I was
Speaker 1: the warm up guy. For that was a crowd guy,
Speaker 1: and it was there that I got the job because
Speaker 1: I was a crowd guy. But I was bitter about
Speaker 1: it because I had had my own talk show before
Speaker 1: that and I was like just trying to pay bills
Speaker 1: and a whole long story, and and Mike Dornella had
Speaker 1: a Fox came up to me after that taping. He said,
Speaker 1: you should do warm up for all of our shows.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, na, dog, I should host your show
Speaker 1: and walked off. And then I ended up posting Temptation Island,
Speaker 1: which is wild. I watched the super teaser and I
Speaker 1: was like getting hives. Yeah, I'm like, why listen, why
Speaker 1: would anyone want to egg on the Bachelor? I did it,
Speaker 1: so I get it, But I mean, at least, but
Speaker 1: at least I'm going on the show, and if he
Speaker 1: was going to end things with me, there was no
Speaker 1: previous connection. I mean, that's like you're in a relationship,
Speaker 1: you don't know if you're gonna end up getting married,
Speaker 1: So hey, how about we go and see if we're
Speaker 1: gonna like sleep with other people? And that's crazy. It
Speaker 1: down to an interesting tea there, but I don't know
Speaker 1: if that's the whole I mean, that's like what my
Speaker 1: anxiety levels telling me. Mark. For the listeners that are
Speaker 1: unfamiliar with Temptation On, do you mind just giving us
Speaker 1: like a quick sixty second elevator pictures? Yeah. Yeah. So
Speaker 1: you've got four couples, young couples who are not married.
Speaker 1: Big distinction we have to make because most people leap to,
Speaker 1: oh my god, this is the end of Western civilization,
Speaker 1: which it may be, but nonetheless, there are four couples
Speaker 1: who have been dating for years each couple, and they're
Speaker 1: at a standstill. They're stagnant, they've got problems before they
Speaker 1: go to the next level. It's not necessarily marriage. So
Speaker 1: they agree to go to Temptation Island, where they will
Speaker 1: be single again, and it's their choice to come. Right.
Speaker 1: So the four couples come, what you have a question?
Speaker 1: So so they're like, oh, we're gonna be single. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna answer these for you. It's gonna work out.
Speaker 1: I'm getting like three, baby, I got you. I'm right
Speaker 1: here for you. Okay, what are some of the issues
Speaker 1: that they're having, Well, like, you know, one girl saying,
Speaker 1: you know, we've been dating for several years, it's time
Speaker 1: to get married. Yeah, there is we were boyfriend and
Speaker 1: girlfriend since you know for sixteen years old he cheated
Speaker 1: somewhere in there. I have trust issues. Bang bang bang. Uh.
Speaker 1: The other one is he's a little older than the
Speaker 1: girl and and you know they're wondering, you know, he's
Speaker 1: ready for commitment, maybe she's not. And in the other couple,
Speaker 1: I think one of the issues is that she doesn't
Speaker 1: feel like he's the alpha male that she wants. And
Speaker 1: I'm not sure she wants to raise kids with this guy,
Speaker 1: and so you want to see each other. So they
Speaker 1: choose to come to the island for whatever reasons they
Speaker 1: think are the reasons. And if a couple chooses to
Speaker 1: go to Temptation Island, that relationship is probably already. I
Speaker 1: get a little headier than that. But yes, I think
Speaker 1: that maybe the first blush is what you think. I'm
Speaker 1: not so sure. I think people come on shows thinking
Speaker 1: I will be fine, let's just kind of we'll do
Speaker 1: this and it'll all be good and then we'll be
Speaker 1: on TV and stuff. But what I tell them on
Speaker 1: the air and off the air is like, there's two
Speaker 1: reasons you come here. One is the one you tell producers,
Speaker 1: which is we have problems with the relationship. We're looking
Speaker 1: like on The Bachelor, I'm coming to find true love,
Speaker 1: when in fact you're coming to find Instagram followers. But
Speaker 1: it's all good. Not you TV for this. But I
Speaker 1: say to these guys, whatever your reason for coming on
Speaker 1: the air, it's gonna get real real quick. So it
Speaker 1: doesn't really matter because the answer. Although I would never
Speaker 1: advise anybody to go do this, um, you're gonna find
Speaker 1: out how you feel for sure, and it's real. What
Speaker 1: I what I was thinking was if the couple does
Speaker 1: get into or like they're not tempted to be with
Speaker 1: other people or whatever, and then they remain a couple.
Speaker 1: Like so when we were filming The Bachelor, we finished
Speaker 1: filming in November and it airs in January, and in between,
Speaker 1: like November to January lockdown, Like you're lockdown. I mean
Speaker 1: you're talking about it with your significant other, right, Like
Speaker 1: Nick and I were like talking about things that happened.
Speaker 1: But it's one thing to be told what happened, and
Speaker 1: then it's another thing to relive it after it's happened already.
Speaker 1: So I'm assuming, Like, how so the four couples come,
Speaker 1: they move into separate houses, so the four girls in
Speaker 1: one villa, the four boys living another villa, and in
Speaker 1: those villas, the four girls have twelve single guys, and
Speaker 1: the four guys have twelve single girls. Now they're gonna
Speaker 1: date and hang out and whatever and figure out what's up.
Speaker 1: There's three possible outcomes. There's no prize. So it's either
Speaker 1: going to be that you realize after all of this
Speaker 1: that what you have was real and what you were
Speaker 1: complaining about was petty, and let's go together and stay
Speaker 1: together forever and leave with the answers. Or you may
Speaker 1: find that you haven't found anybody, but you don't want
Speaker 1: to be in this relationship, so you leave separately, or
Speaker 1: you found new love. I will tell you that all
Speaker 1: three of those things are definitely in play. Well, So
Speaker 1: here's here's my singer that I want to introduce into
Speaker 1: this scenario. So I moved to Venice three years ago.
Speaker 1: I lived in Westwood for a year in Los Angeles,
Speaker 1: and then after living there for a year, I moved
Speaker 1: to Venice. Lived in this quaint little bungalow in Venice
Speaker 1: for about a year. Um after that year, I moved
Speaker 1: out and moved into my new house. We obviously continue
Speaker 1: to get and receive mail at our old house in Venice,
Speaker 1: and so we would have to go over there often
Speaker 1: um to pick it up. And I was always the
Speaker 1: one that was tasked with doing that because my roommates
Speaker 1: are lazy, and I mean I'm lazy as well, but
Speaker 1: I was I needed to smail sometimes. So one of
Speaker 1: the girls that lived there, Brittany A right, sir, because
Speaker 1: I know she's from So one of the girls that
Speaker 1: lived there eventually ended up getting cats for this show
Speaker 1: at Temptation Island. Were looking at each other like, how
Speaker 1: do you guys know that? How do you know? Well,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm a reality host. I need to know a
Speaker 1: lot of stuff, and so I just knew she was
Speaker 1: from Venice, and I happened to think she's awesome, the
Speaker 1: real deal. But it's funny because you see one of
Speaker 1: the single ladies. She's one of the one of the
Speaker 1: single ladies, and she's going to be a pretty prominent
Speaker 1: character in the in the episode because and this is
Speaker 1: a good point. So on the original Temptation Island and
Speaker 1: people ask me, how are they different? The formats almost
Speaker 1: exactly the same. So if you we're down for the
Speaker 1: show originally you're gonna love it. And if you don't
Speaker 1: know the show, I always tell people it's like watching
Speaker 1: The Bachelor and Bachelorette simultaneously times eight. Right, that's what's
Speaker 1: going on in Paradise, right right, all into one thing.
Speaker 1: So anyway, So what I think is interesting is originally
Speaker 1: the tempters, those singles were there to tempt right, But
Speaker 1: now this version is less that and more about everybody's
Speaker 1: in the same boat. Even the singles are looking to
Speaker 1: find love. They're hoping they're going to find that person.
Speaker 1: So the relationships take on more than just hey, let's
Speaker 1: pull around. It takes on confident hunt and friends and
Speaker 1: advisors and and Brittany plays a lot of that role too.
Speaker 1: I mean she's gorgeous. Yeah, she's got her act really together.
Speaker 1: She's great. I was looking at the cast and I'm like,
Speaker 1: the women beautiful. I was looking at the men. I'm like,
Speaker 1: maybe there's two that I would be like. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: say tempted, but to that, I'm like, I would not
Speaker 1: bring my guy. Oh yeah, guy, we'll get to that.
Speaker 1: Is it fluid? It's a flu I just wouldn't. I'm
Speaker 1: like no, And that's why I was getting hive I'm
Speaker 1: like non and non nutwent. So you say that the
Speaker 1: four guys and the four girls are in relationships, they
Speaker 1: go off. Yep, they go off separately with two houses exactly.
Speaker 1: So is there any point within the show that they're
Speaker 1: brought back together cliche a rose ceremony type thing, fans,
Speaker 1: that's not how we do know, Like eliminations, it works
Speaker 1: a different way. So every episode, not the first episode,
Speaker 1: but after that, every episode kind of ends with our bonfire,
Speaker 1: which is our kind of place, a survivor esque thing
Speaker 1: kind of but not so you know, fire means it
Speaker 1: just happens to be a fire. You know what, do
Speaker 1: they had anything off? Like, here's no there's no roses,
Speaker 1: You've got no roses? Sorry, Um, I mean I could
Speaker 1: work some man if that's important. So basically what happens
Speaker 1: is they check in with me that I'll sit with
Speaker 1: the girls first or the guys, but they're never together,
Speaker 1: and talk about their experience, how it's going. And then
Speaker 1: we showed them um clips of their boyfriends on the
Speaker 1: other side of the island, but they're really short clips,
Speaker 1: sort of out of context, and it's how does that
Speaker 1: make you feel? And literally in the first well it's
Speaker 1: the second episode, the first Bonfire. I show this clip
Speaker 1: of one boyfriend and literally he's drunk in the clip,
Speaker 1: I think, And it's a confessional. It's not even him
Speaker 1: doing anything, it's him talking to the camera and he
Speaker 1: says what he's saying like twenty seconds and the girlfriend says,
Speaker 1: that's it. I'm breaking up right now, it's over. And
Speaker 1: I literally look at her and say, look, I I
Speaker 1: understand this is upset, upsetting you, and I understand that
Speaker 1: you know him better than I do. But what did
Speaker 1: he say? I mean, all I heard was like a
Speaker 1: few words, not even a center, but she and that's
Speaker 1: the whole thing. I keep telling them, you don't know
Speaker 1: what's going on, So it's really about to communicate with
Speaker 1: each other not at all, no phones, no computers. But
Speaker 1: I'm assuming if there are insecurities prior to going on
Speaker 1: into this show, then those arise, right, so that's why
Speaker 1: they're on the show. No, But I'm saying like, maybe
Speaker 1: he said three words, and those three words were like
Speaker 1: that was enough for her because it's something that has
Speaker 1: happened in the past or whatever brought her back to Lake.
Speaker 1: But I think that says a lot about how we
Speaker 1: are in relationships that we're projecting onto people our own
Speaker 1: issues that may or may not be true. And so
Speaker 1: what I keep saying to them is look for this time.
Speaker 1: You've got twenty five days or whatever. You're not going
Speaker 1: to see your boyfriend, so you can't control what's going
Speaker 1: on there. So if you think it was about waiting
Speaker 1: to see if the cheats or not, maybe you can
Speaker 1: use this time to look inward and see what it
Speaker 1: is about your relationship that wasn't working for you. I
Speaker 1: agree when you were saying that, the first thing that
Speaker 1: came to my mind was excuse making, so to speak.
Speaker 1: And it's kind of a metaphor where somebody's in a
Speaker 1: relationship and then they're almost looking for a reason to
Speaker 1: break up because they are attempted, and like these singles
Speaker 1: are kind of a metaphor for me for like online dating.
Speaker 1: But if you want to talk about dating and how
Speaker 1: this really plays out, I mean, if you really want
Speaker 1: to go there, I'd be happy to talk to you
Speaker 1: about it, because I think you're absolutely right. I think
Speaker 1: a lot of the issue when relationship isn't firing isn't
Speaker 1: that the other person is failing you. But there's this
Speaker 1: inner dialogue of your own of expectation and upset based
Speaker 1: on your own stuff that you may or may not
Speaker 1: be communicating, and it's it's really unfair for the other person.
Speaker 1: So this is kind of interesting because it forces you
Speaker 1: to kind of suddenly you get perspective from the opposite
Speaker 1: sex you weren't getting. Somebody might say, you know, and
Speaker 1: I keep saying, where are you holding yourself? And what
Speaker 1: regard you hold yourself? Because it's really about if you
Speaker 1: can't control what's going on, then you know, take a
Speaker 1: look inside. What weren't you getting? What did you love
Speaker 1: about your relationship? What don't you love about your relationship?
Speaker 1: How's your chance to correct? So when we go on
Speaker 1: the Bachelor, we have a chance to talk to a therapists.
Speaker 1: Are there any therapists or a couple of therapists? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I think any reality show, I mean literally any of
Speaker 1: them has to has to responsibly have right. But I
Speaker 1: don't think Big Brother does well, I don't know, not
Speaker 1: during the show, not during filming. Um, we have somebody
Speaker 1: on call there if somebody needs to talk to them,
Speaker 1: they're there. And uh, and it's important to me too,
Speaker 1: you know. It's so funny it's a reality TV show.
Speaker 1: I may be the most gullible person on the island
Speaker 1: because i'd buy I'm like, I'm here for you. It's
Speaker 1: are we having a moment? That's good, that's what you need,
Speaker 1: that's what the yeah. And so I remember when I
Speaker 1: did Temptation Island back in the day. You guys are
Speaker 1: giving looks. I'm dining. I know the inside, like I
Speaker 1: still want to know what happens on the Bachelor. But
Speaker 1: for me, they're real people. They chose to come here
Speaker 1: is not something i'd be down for, but okay. And
Speaker 1: I literally say to them, look, whatever your reasons for
Speaker 1: coming here, are yours. I have no judgment. I'm just
Speaker 1: an advocate for you getting whatever did you thought you
Speaker 1: wanted out of this? So how long did they say
Speaker 1: on the island? I think it was about twenty eight
Speaker 1: days something like that. I wouldn't last twenty seconds, you'd
Speaker 1: be surprised, I'd say, for twenty days. I think that's
Speaker 1: a long time to be separated. Well, being MAUI single
Speaker 1: for twenty eight days, Thanks for carrying that burden for
Speaker 1: us that that'd be pretty easy, but this is deep.
Speaker 1: Thanks for caring that the four couples on here, they've
Speaker 1: all the the least amount of time that one couple
Speaker 1: has been together two and a half years. Every other
Speaker 1: couple has been together for more than that. I mean,
Speaker 1: these are serious relationships that people are putting on the line.
Speaker 1: And it's very curious for me because when I I
Speaker 1: I didn't watch the show as a kid, but I
Speaker 1: remember hearing all about it, and I just imagined, like
Speaker 1: couples that had been on and off for three months,
Speaker 1: that maybe had a kid together or something like that,
Speaker 1: that weren't going to make it. These are legitimate couples,
Speaker 1: So that was never the case. Then although one couple
Speaker 1: did have a kid, we found out we kicked them off.
Speaker 1: I know, I'm saying, as a kid never watched the show,
Speaker 1: I assumed it that way, and then watching this, this
Speaker 1: rebooted version, if you if you revamped version, if you
Speaker 1: call that, um, it's not like that at all. These
Speaker 1: are very legitimate couples. These are couples that have been
Speaker 1: a lot through a lot together. Well what I like
Speaker 1: about this as the original the original the cast was great,
Speaker 1: but they were young three something like that, and I
Speaker 1: know this sort of splitting hairs, but there's a big
Speaker 1: difference twenty three seven thirty, A lot has happened, and
Speaker 1: so you stopped dating for sport, you start dating as
Speaker 1: an audition. It's like, am I wasting my time? Right?
Speaker 1: And so when people are this many years into something
Speaker 1: and it's not going forward, you know, And I think
Speaker 1: that a lot of times young couples have a timeline
Speaker 1: of I want to be married by this time, I
Speaker 1: want to have a wedding by this time, and all
Speaker 1: that stuff, and that's not legit, it's not that's not
Speaker 1: how timeline poking me. Stop. I don't have a timeline.
Speaker 1: What are you getting me more than anyone I've ever
Speaker 1: met at a time? Now? Okay, So once after we
Speaker 1: were done doing an episode, I look at Dean. I'm like, Dean,
Speaker 1: why am I still single? Like why is it that
Speaker 1: I'm not? You know? He's like, what was your answer? Again?
Speaker 1: He's like, I think you're you're too much. You put
Speaker 1: a lot, you put a lot of pressure on on
Speaker 1: the situation, and it's it can come acrost one and
Speaker 1: thirty one. Yeah, no, I'm thirty one years old. I
Speaker 1: just and I was dating in l A just wasn't
Speaker 1: working out for me. I moved back to Montreal. I'm
Speaker 1: now like talking to someone who's absolutely wonderful and wants
Speaker 1: the same things as I do. Um. By the way,
Speaker 1: as soon as she dropped the dead weight and we
Speaker 1: figured out the chain, and so I don't think there
Speaker 1: was a timeline for me when I was in my
Speaker 1: early twenties. That whole thing I did, I'm really great
Speaker 1: at it. I'm great at doing interviews Mark. Um. So
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna fly back home now. Anyway, what were
Speaker 1: you saying? I'm sorry. I think when I was in
Speaker 1: my early twenties, I did have a timeline. I wanted
Speaker 1: to be married by twenty eight because I figured by
Speaker 1: thirty I can start having a kid and I have
Speaker 1: like two years of having fun as a married couple.
Speaker 1: But now I'm thirty one and I'm not married. I
Speaker 1: was engaged. That ended. Um. But I think for me,
Speaker 1: as a thirty one year old in a being in
Speaker 1: a couple, I don't know if I would be able
Speaker 1: to do a show like Temptation Island, because I'm like,
Speaker 1: I want to be able to either like or if
Speaker 1: your a couple having problems that you would sit down
Speaker 1: across from one another and say, look, we're having problems.
Speaker 1: When you discuss this or you get some help, some
Speaker 1: therapists do some counseling whatever that. So going to Temptation
Speaker 1: Island is solve your problems is not a choice I
Speaker 1: would suggest for anyone. It's like the couples are wrinkly shirts.
Speaker 1: Temptation Island is a steaming iron. Their hope is that
Speaker 1: the wrinkles are all gonna get pressed out by the
Speaker 1: end of it. Unfortunately, they're going to be wearing the
Speaker 1: shirts while we steam them. Here's the thing about it,
Speaker 1: and I say this to them. This is a bizarre,
Speaker 1: extreme experience. It's not something I would recommend, nor is
Speaker 1: it the best way for couples to deal with problems
Speaker 1: in the relationship. But I I believe this is my heart.
Speaker 1: If you if you were unsure and you come and
Speaker 1: do this Island thing, at the end of it, you're
Speaker 1: gonna be definitely clear how you feel. And I describe
Speaker 1: it this way. Go back to high school, middle school.
Speaker 1: You're going with somebody that's your girlfriend, and you break
Speaker 1: up because you think you can do better and whatever.
Speaker 1: And then the next day you see her at lunch
Speaker 1: sitting with somebody else, and you immediately flooded with everything
Speaker 1: you miss about her, everything glorious about her is right
Speaker 1: there in front of you. That perspective happens sometimes, right,
Speaker 1: So I keep saying, you come here with questions and
Speaker 1: you want answers. You're gonna get answers, but the questions
Speaker 1: will change, well, especially when you can watch. Like you said,
Speaker 1: they the couples get to see twenty two clips, however
Speaker 1: long that's crazy because I'm sure that significant other has
Speaker 1: no idea that the other person is going to see it.
Speaker 1: And so if you're you and the clip you're seeing
Speaker 1: is out of context, you don't know what. And I
Speaker 1: keep saying to them, it's not about what the context.
Speaker 1: This is not about you figuring out if they're cheating
Speaker 1: on you or not. What I say to them is,
Speaker 1: when you see a clip, you're gonna have a feeling
Speaker 1: or you're not gonna have a feeling, And both of
Speaker 1: those are answers. So if you see a clip of
Speaker 1: your girlfriend in the arms of a dude, and you
Speaker 1: can say to yourself, well, but that was probably stage
Speaker 1: or it was whatever. But if something doesn't viscerally come
Speaker 1: up for you, then you know where you are. You
Speaker 1: don't really care and if something does come up for you,
Speaker 1: that's something to look at. Wow, I got really jealous
Speaker 1: right there, and maybe I care more than I thought
Speaker 1: I did. Maybe I need to look at why I'm
Speaker 1: not treating this as special as it is for me now,
Speaker 1: or maybe you're getting jealous for some other reason. Exactly So,
Speaker 1: having done this show once before and seeing couples go
Speaker 1: through it, what advice did you give the couples for
Speaker 1: this upcoming season before they embarked on this journey. Well,
Speaker 1: first of all, I didn't see him until I met
Speaker 1: him on camera. Okay, so I And as far as
Speaker 1: like the whole thing goes like before they met the singles,
Speaker 1: let me rephrase that. Um, you meet the couples before
Speaker 1: they go off to the singles, but the day before,
Speaker 1: when we have our sort of get together, you have
Speaker 1: any advice, Not to give advice, because that's not my role.
Speaker 1: If they ask, I'm happy to share my experience and
Speaker 1: be real about it, and you'll see it in the
Speaker 1: first episode where I say stuff about my own life.
Speaker 1: But um, that's not my role. Man. I'm the host,
Speaker 1: so it's not my job to give advice. But what
Speaker 1: I do say to them is look you know, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I just remind them of the gravity of the situation.
Speaker 1: You're saying goodbye right now. And you may not, you
Speaker 1: may think this is whatever, but this think about this
Speaker 1: that when you kiss your girlfriend goodbye and maybe the
Speaker 1: last time you ever kiss her. So get your head
Speaker 1: around that. Mark, quick question for you. Yeah, are there
Speaker 1: any virgins on this season of Temptation Island? Um? I
Speaker 1: understand that's the big buzz phrase now in the bastination. Um.
Speaker 1: I did not do a clinical test of virginity clinic so, um,
Speaker 1: I really am not at liberty to say, nor do
Speaker 1: I know if that if there's virtue or not. I
Speaker 1: was just wondering if you had to have the birds
Speaker 1: and Birds and Beest talk with any of the contestants
Speaker 1: this here but sounds like no, although I'm willing to
Speaker 1: have it with you guys now, if there's anything you're
Speaker 1: confused about, I think we we've already seen the Bachelor episodes,
Speaker 1: so we've had plenty of virgion talking. Um. Well, Mark,
Speaker 1: thank you so much. Coming in. This was incredible. Let's
Speaker 1: where can we see Temptationland? When does it? When does
Speaker 1: it come out? Oh, it's not for TV. I just
Speaker 1: did as a social Yeah, this is for your private collection,
Speaker 1: like it's like on my Instagram, so so awesome. Uh No,
Speaker 1: we air Tuesday's Tuesday o'clock first episode January fift which
Speaker 1: is tomorrow depending on when this but Tuesday, January. And um,
Speaker 1: the first episode is already streaming on YouTube. And what
Speaker 1: do you guys do that? Why do you stream on YouTube?
Speaker 1: And then just for fun, I haven't made a decision
Speaker 1: in my career since I decided that we can watch
Speaker 1: the first episode before before it's on YouTube. The first episode,
Speaker 1: this episode that airs on Tuesday, January is already out. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and then are they gonna do back to back? Maybe
Speaker 1: episode one in episode two or then well next tonight toorn,
Speaker 1: you're gonna see only episode one in the tease of
Speaker 1: episode two and then episode two will be on. But
Speaker 1: I gotta tell you something, you guys. I mean, and
Speaker 1: I know I'm supposed to sell a show and tell
Speaker 1: you why you should watch, But if you like The
Speaker 1: Bachelor and my family watches it, By the way, my
Speaker 1: daughter feels like I'm sitting with royalty right now. So
Speaker 1: shout out to Goldie Walburg. Big ups to Golden in
Speaker 1: Kansas City. Keep it real for the family. I saw
Speaker 1: video that your dad took of you dancing, and you
Speaker 1: are an incredible dance. Yeah, she's she's a good deal. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And my son's out. That's why I laugh at all
Speaker 1: this because my son has a real job. He's a
Speaker 1: Navy pilot in the Persian Gulf right now, I'm doing
Speaker 1: that and single, by the way, um, and so sorry,
Speaker 1: you're not chopped liver, but you gotta step up your
Speaker 1: game and clothes gold goldie single. But just because you
Speaker 1: have the license doesn't mean you could drive a ferrari
Speaker 1: al right, so you know. And his son Morgan, he
Speaker 1: showed me videos of him flying. He's a bad as
Speaker 1: I'm dating someone. We'll get to that. You need to
Speaker 1: book some time. But I will say this, The Bachelor
Speaker 1: is an incredible show, so you need to watch that
Speaker 1: on Monday nights. It's awesome. But temptation is for Tuesdays, right,
Speaker 1: and it is temptation to you love. If you love reality,
Speaker 1: you love dating, I think we give you everything. And
Speaker 1: that's on USA NETWORKSODES. Yeah, the first episode tomorrow, but
Speaker 1: it was off the hook. They added in an episode
Speaker 1: so nice. I got my Tuesday nights for the next
Speaker 1: three months planned out. Now it's perfect. Let's check in.
Speaker 1: I'll come and chat with you guys and see how
Speaker 1: this relationship of yours is going. Mark. No, I'm all
Speaker 1: for it. I want you to be happy. Maybe you'll
Speaker 1: see Ansa on next year's episode and I'll be one
Speaker 1: of those singles. Okay, it's take it easy. I look
Speaker 1: forward to that. I can make some predictions right here
Speaker 1: if you want, but I'm gonna let that off. Mark.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for coming in studio with us.
Speaker 1: We really appreciate it. We're looking forward to Temptation Island again,
Speaker 1: that's on USA Network. Appreciating that central Um. Yeah, man, thanks,
Speaker 1: thanks so much for being here. Thank you for the
Speaker 1: free water and the conversation. It was fun anytime you
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Speaker 1: it out. Okay, So I'm a little bit nervous. Why
Speaker 1: because of your reaction from last week's episode, No, your
Speaker 1: reaction to um a guest that's going to be walking
Speaker 1: in shortly, So Dean, why would you have a reaction
Speaker 1: to Chad Chad Johnson coming on? Well, we all know Chad.
Speaker 1: Chad is a pretty compelling figure from the different polarizing
Speaker 1: theaters at least, But is he Because I feel like,
Speaker 1: what's his name? From last Jordan Jordan's Kimball, right, is
Speaker 1: that his name? I probably feel the sameay about Jordan's.
Speaker 1: I know he's met Jordan's two different people. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying one's bad or one's Jordan was like very out
Speaker 1: there on his season and met him in person, and
Speaker 1: he's like he's I found to be very quiet. Jordans
Speaker 1: really did anything. My thing is I'm I'm not comparing
Speaker 1: the two, and I think like Chad has more of
Speaker 1: um bad bad boy. I'm teetering with the idea of
Speaker 1: even walking out for this interview with Chad totally because
Speaker 1: of the fact that he the way that he treats
Speaker 1: Sarah Herron on Bachelor Paradise is the one most It's
Speaker 1: one of the most disgusting things I've ever seen in
Speaker 1: my life. And it's just like, how do I sit
Speaker 1: here and and genuinely interview someone that was so like
Speaker 1: rude and and just write mean to someone. So I'm
Speaker 1: so neutral because I don't know anything about what happened.
Speaker 1: And Sarah here and is the one with the right
Speaker 1: and Chad is very very vocal about her physical impairment,
Speaker 1: and it's just like, you see something like that, it's like,
Speaker 1: how the how the hell are you going to go
Speaker 1: out and like and like pointing her out and just
Speaker 1: like criticize her for for that type of thing. And
Speaker 1: then and then I kicked off Paradise like the next day,
Speaker 1: which is great, Like thank god Chris Harrison kicked him off. Um,
Speaker 1: and then like you see the way that he treats
Speaker 1: women like he's a bit of a misogynist. And look,
Speaker 1: I'm I can be a douchebag sometimes too, but at
Speaker 1: least at the end of the day, it's coming from
Speaker 1: a place of like I don't I'm never I'm never
Speaker 1: intentionally at least hurting anyone, you know, whether it's whatever
Speaker 1: it is, I don't know. It's just like to see
Speaker 1: stuff like that, it really just kind of irks me.
Speaker 1: Maybe he's changed. I don't know. I also hope, so
Speaker 1: I would also advocate for you not to walk out
Speaker 1: of the interview because I think whoever, I've always believe
Speaker 1: this in my life, whoever just doesn't show up is
Speaker 1: always the loser, coward. Sure, exactly, So I don't think
Speaker 1: there's anything wrong with you sitting down with him. And
Speaker 1: and I met him before two once. And before I
Speaker 1: met him, I think we met like the after party
Speaker 1: my uh a bachelorette reunion whatever it was, and I
Speaker 1: was I had been drinking a little bit, and I
Speaker 1: just have heard the worst stories about him, and so
Speaker 1: he like introduced himself to me, and I didn't give
Speaker 1: him the time of day because I was like, look,
Speaker 1: I've heard all I need to hear about you. I
Speaker 1: don't even want to encourage or like, uh, enabled like
Speaker 1: any type of conversation between this. So so he was
Speaker 1: on jojo seas, I'm just gonna say, coming into this interview,
Speaker 1: he's going to probably love both of you and be
Speaker 1: very very cold in my direction. I was going, hold on,
Speaker 1: don't give off like any I don't think. Don't allow
Speaker 1: him to do that either. I think it would be
Speaker 1: a great and Yang situation. If you two are great
Speaker 1: and gracious and warm and welcome. Well, no, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm very interacted. Well, I've also met Chad a few times,
Speaker 1: and I will say in person, he's very Well that
Speaker 1: is that not the definition of a manipulative person? Someone
Speaker 1: that can turn it on and make you like them
Speaker 1: and be charismatic and then at the flip of a
Speaker 1: switch be someone that is just an utter wild card.
Speaker 1: And and and I Cannon, I think you should ask
Speaker 1: him that. Well, I wonder what side he's going to
Speaker 1: show today. Just give me some consistency, Like that's all
Speaker 1: I'm asking. Right, If you're gonna be nice, be nice.
Speaker 1: If you're gonna be a douche, be a douche, but
Speaker 1: don't be nice when you need to be nice and
Speaker 1: then be a douche one. But do you feel like
Speaker 1: he was a douche because he was? He was on camera?
Speaker 1: And you know how you can have like a different
Speaker 1: persona that comes out when you camera. You're gonna say
Speaker 1: you're gonna be a douche on camera and let the
Speaker 1: world see your douche side rather than see your nice side. Well, no,
Speaker 1: I feel like that's a sense like there's a there's
Speaker 1: a level of insecurity there where you feel like you
Speaker 1: have to be that macho guy and your But if
Speaker 1: I'm going on camera, I'm going to show the camera
Speaker 1: my best possible side, not my douche side that everyone
Speaker 1: in the world, well, why don't we? I want to
Speaker 1: ask him? I have zero ideas. Oh and look who
Speaker 1: just walked in, Mr Chad Johnson himself. Welcome, So thank
Speaker 1: you for joining us. We appreciate it. Here for people
Speaker 1: who don't know who you are, can you give us
Speaker 1: a little bio, a little background. I'm basically like the
Speaker 1: really bad guy from the show. Are you a bad guy? Though?
Speaker 1: I don't think so now. I think I kind of
Speaker 1: fell into like a bit of a pit on that show.
Speaker 1: So you were on The Bachelor, Wrette Bachelorette on Joe
Speaker 1: Joe's season, and then Bachelor in Paradise was that episode?
Speaker 1: Uh season? I was on your Yeah, we were in three,
Speaker 1: and so that's it. Bachelard Paradise has that many little seasons. Well,
Speaker 1: Paradise is on its fifth season this year, yeah, but
Speaker 1: going on six this coming was five, Yeah, and then
Speaker 1: Chad was on three and then Dean obviously, Well the
Speaker 1: fourth one was a little bit of chaotic situation, to
Speaker 1: put it lightly, kind of like the black sheep of
Speaker 1: the family. That four very much is that this season
Speaker 1: you're on Dean. Well, it was not because of obviously,
Speaker 1: it was because of a different situation. But we have
Speaker 1: Chad in in studio because Chad, you are currently on
Speaker 1: X on on the Beach. I knew that I was
Speaker 1: just staring at Chad and I got lost in your
Speaker 1: It was actually really handing high in the hills. So
Speaker 1: I don't know why it's on the beach. It's like,
Speaker 1: it is there a beach that you guys, there's a
Speaker 1: beach which just look like an exceptionally long time to
Speaker 1: get to it, you know what I mean? Well, I
Speaker 1: think they call it that because the x Is show
Speaker 1: up while you guys are on the beach, right, yeah, probably?
Speaker 1: So all right, okay, so how long this is? Like?
Speaker 1: What season two? Yeah? Okay, so how did you get
Speaker 1: on X on the Beach? Because if season one has
Speaker 1: happened already, don't you know that you're going on a
Speaker 1: show that your exes are showing up too? I mean
Speaker 1: you kind of get a little bit of an inkling
Speaker 1: when they start asking you for exes. But well, so
Speaker 1: when you you applied for the show, well because they
Speaker 1: asked you about your exes, and but you're assuming that
Speaker 1: you're still going. I didn't apply for it. Basically, I
Speaker 1: have like a manager who, um knew of me because
Speaker 1: he worked with like Chase and Robbie and all those dudes,
Speaker 1: so I knew of me. It was basically like, hey,
Speaker 1: they did this show, do you want to go do it?
Speaker 1: You know, like, I have an opportunity for this unscripted
Speaker 1: and it's called X on the Beach. It's called what
Speaker 1: they say it was called untitled dating reality. So there's
Speaker 1: always this like you want to keep that in the
Speaker 1: back of your mind, like maybe it's just we're going
Speaker 1: to like hang out and meet people. Well I leave
Speaker 1: that because so last year, um, I got a call
Speaker 1: from an email from m MTV saying that they were
Speaker 1: doing this new dating show called the Beach and it
Speaker 1: was a dating show and they wanted to talk to
Speaker 1: me about it and blah blah blah blah blah. And
Speaker 1: then long story short, all of a sudden, MTV I
Speaker 1: see like six months later so that they had X
Speaker 1: on the Beach, and I think that was the same thing.
Speaker 1: So did they did they ask you that you want
Speaker 1: to do this dating show? And they just kind of, well,
Speaker 1: I asked about your exes, and they weren't going to
Speaker 1: tell you explicitly, Hey, by the way, once you're here,
Speaker 1: that X that you brought up is coming on the show.
Speaker 1: To be honest, I talked to MTV like five times
Speaker 1: before about like like, hey, we have a project, like
Speaker 1: maybe you'll want to do it. And so I go
Speaker 1: through the process of talking to them about who I
Speaker 1: am and what I like and what I do and stuff,
Speaker 1: and ended at like five separate times and never really
Speaker 1: turned into anything. So this time I didn't even honestly
Speaker 1: really like look into what it could be. I was
Speaker 1: just like, al right, what questions do you have? What
Speaker 1: can I answer? Like? What's up? What you need to
Speaker 1: know about me? And give me a call if you
Speaker 1: want me to show up. That's a big question. It's
Speaker 1: a big question to be asked. So what ultimately made
Speaker 1: you say yes? Um, I don't know. I mean, I
Speaker 1: guess it was just like curious at the time, you know,
Speaker 1: I kind of kind of want to show another side
Speaker 1: of myself because the only side of myself that was
Speaker 1: ever shown on The Bachelor was like me just you know,
Speaker 1: like I right after the show, my mom had passed
Speaker 1: right before, so I was coming through all this like anger,
Speaker 1: and I was drinking a lot at that time, and
Speaker 1: so it was like I wanted this opportunity to show
Speaker 1: what I'm actually like, you know, versus like, hey, here's
Speaker 1: me in the worst mood I've ever been in. Isn't
Speaker 1: that scary because your your image is always in the
Speaker 1: hands of the producers, right you don't know what side
Speaker 1: you can show, like your best side all the time,
Speaker 1: and then they're like, oh, you show like this one
Speaker 1: snippet of like like an angry version of yourself for
Speaker 1: like a sad version of yourself, and that's like what
Speaker 1: they're gonna keep going with. Absolutely, I mean it's you
Speaker 1: kind of just have to throw that to the wind
Speaker 1: and just like hope for the best, just always like, hey,
Speaker 1: here's me. I hope that you don't screw me, like
Speaker 1: for you know, it's interesting that you say that because
Speaker 1: I watched an episode and I'm not saying this in
Speaker 1: a derogatory term, but you weren't featured as much as
Speaker 1: I expected you to be, and I'm curious if that's
Speaker 1: because you were a little bit more laxed, That's what
Speaker 1: I'm curious about. I don't know if it's because of
Speaker 1: that or um, if they're gonna end up showing me
Speaker 1: a lot more near the end, or because there's there's
Speaker 1: a bunch of casts and a lot of people were
Speaker 1: getting into these stupid fights that I specifically was like,
Speaker 1: I don't I don't want to get involved in that.
Speaker 1: Like you guys, they literally didn't know what they're fighting about.
Speaker 1: It was just people who like, I want to be
Speaker 1: loud at you. I want to be loud at you,
Speaker 1: and I would just be like, no, not. I think
Speaker 1: people take the mindset of the ladder you speak, the
Speaker 1: more airtime you think you're gonna get exactly, And like,
Speaker 1: my whole thing is if I'm actually mad at something,
Speaker 1: that will be mad at it. If something is actually
Speaker 1: like I have a problem or situation, I'm gonna address it,
Speaker 1: but I'm not gonna go out of my way, which
Speaker 1: is my whole thing on The Bachelor too, because when
Speaker 1: you watch it back, yeah, yeah, I did a lot
Speaker 1: of screwed up stuff, but at the same time, everything
Speaker 1: that happened to me was happening to me because someone
Speaker 1: else was coming to me. I'm just a reactor and
Speaker 1: so I don't go out of my way to ever
Speaker 1: like cause anything Like I just kind of like sometimes
Speaker 1: I react and because I don't want to be involved
Speaker 1: in the situation, I might blow up because I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't want to be involved in this. I will
Speaker 1: say from the Bachelor time with Joe Joe, it seemed
Speaker 1: like Alex seemed to provoke a bit, right, That's that's
Speaker 1: kind of the main instigator was Um and I feel
Speaker 1: like every every season we'll have that one instigator and
Speaker 1: then the reactor. As you said, like I think, uh,
Speaker 1: last season you saw Jordan David like Jordan was in
Speaker 1: essentially Chad's position, and then David was approaching Jordan all
Speaker 1: the time before that, it was like Blake and waboom.
Speaker 1: I I agree. It's usually the instigator that comes up,
Speaker 1: but the other person not gets villainized but is more polarizing.
Speaker 1: Is there anything that you did that you regret because
Speaker 1: I never watched. Yeah, I will say the one thing
Speaker 1: that the one TV moment that really like jaded me
Speaker 1: was the Bachelor Paradise Sarah Hartt interaction. That only one
Speaker 1: thing that I saw, and I was like, I didn't
Speaker 1: even know I did that too. That was the one thing.
Speaker 1: When I saw it, I was like, dude, oh my god.
Speaker 1: And then and then publicly apologized I did it publicly.
Speaker 1: I did it like quietly. Then I had to like
Speaker 1: redo it, and then eventually I did it. Kind of
Speaker 1: got annoying to a point because she kept making me
Speaker 1: apologize and I was like, I can't, yeah, I can't
Speaker 1: do anymore. Like I'm sorry, I didn't know I did it.
Speaker 1: One of the one of the first Within the first
Speaker 1: couple of minutes of you have you seen down and talking,
Speaker 1: you're saying how obviously you were dealing with the loss
Speaker 1: of your mother, and then how you were drinking heavily,
Speaker 1: and you like hear that and you're like, okay, well
Speaker 1: it doesn't necessarily excuse the actions, but it's like, okay,
Speaker 1: that helps make sense of it a little bit. Yeah. Well,
Speaker 1: I also think because I have not a theory about
Speaker 1: you by any chance of imagination, but every time I've
Speaker 1: met I've only met you a handful of times, if at,
Speaker 1: but every time I've had a human interaction with you,
Speaker 1: you are very warm and kind and and uh, engaging
Speaker 1: and conversational and the complete antithesis of what people just
Speaker 1: imagine you to be. And so I'm curious, like at
Speaker 1: that time when you were on Batchelor and Batch on
Speaker 1: Paradise and you were going through difficult times, Um, I
Speaker 1: wonder if maybe you were not loving, yeah, loving the
Speaker 1: attention like we all do, and maybe built up in
Speaker 1: your head to be like, how do I really keep
Speaker 1: not keep this going? But like I want to, you know,
Speaker 1: make I want to rattle some cages. I mean after
Speaker 1: after it was like, so I like everybody unless you
Speaker 1: don't like me, in which case I'm probably well I'm
Speaker 1: like cut. But anyway, so like when I realized that,
Speaker 1: like I had no shot with anybody more in terms
Speaker 1: of like even just being friends, it was like, all right,
Speaker 1: we'll screw you. You don't be my friend. Now I'm
Speaker 1: gonna blast you, like and I just didn't know what
Speaker 1: to do with everything, and it was almost like I
Speaker 1: was hurt. So I was like lashing out by trying
Speaker 1: to piss everyone else on the beach. Then, so this
Speaker 1: this is the second season on the Beach. Yeah, second season,
Speaker 1: second and first season if I remember correctly, had Chase
Speaker 1: and Jasmine on it right or after the um No,
Speaker 1: but I had the same managers Chase, so I know
Speaker 1: a little bit. I know he didn't like his whole
Speaker 1: outcome because he was so used to, like, you know,
Speaker 1: I guess if you're your loved or hated, you get
Speaker 1: a little bit used to whatever it is, and so
Speaker 1: he didn't like the backlash he got. It's almost better
Speaker 1: to be hated at first, because then there's only all right, yeah,
Speaker 1: you guys all started off wrong suckers, so super loved
Speaker 1: and then being so hated and then everyone's kind of impartiful. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's it's a bit different to watch it back and
Speaker 1: we'll be watching everything and it's like, oh, people are
Speaker 1: seeing that, like I'm not actually just like this angry person.
Speaker 1: Who who is your ex that showed up on the beach? Um,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know about that. Yeah, yeah
Speaker 1: she'll show up. So you go on making you well
Speaker 1: known that you want to be in a in a
Speaker 1: real relationship, all right, exactly. This is my first time
Speaker 1: to ever, like, you know, mean before when I first
Speaker 1: went on the Bachelor, it was kind of like at
Speaker 1: that time, everybody was doing branding and all this stuff.
Speaker 1: How old are you now? One? So now we look good?
Speaker 1: Thank you you're older. I thought you were younger than
Speaker 1: I normally get. The older people think I'm like thirty
Speaker 1: five because I used to smoke and drink a lot.
Speaker 1: You're I mean, you're like, yeah, I don't know why
Speaker 1: I'm complimenting some much chat family podcast, um, but but yeah,
Speaker 1: being I think being at my age now, eventually it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, I've gone through so much of like I
Speaker 1: put in so much work, through all the TV stuff
Speaker 1: and trying to capitalize on everything and doing everything I could.
Speaker 1: I haven't dated, honestly really since since the Bachelorette, and
Speaker 1: this was my first opportunity to actually like give it
Speaker 1: another shot. You haven't dated because the opportunity hasn't presented itself,
Speaker 1: or you just weren't into like actually dating someone seriously, honestly,
Speaker 1: it was just that I'm like a workaholic, Like I
Speaker 1: was just trying to I wanted to be super successful
Speaker 1: so that that way, whenever I did have a family,
Speaker 1: I could like give my kids and family everything, and
Speaker 1: so I just wanted to make sure, like I almost
Speaker 1: consider it like the shitty of my life is now like,
Speaker 1: the better it's going to be later because I'm working
Speaker 1: every day. I'm doing everything I can. I was creating
Speaker 1: all these business is, doing podcasting, doing everything, you know,
Speaker 1: and so it's like anytime you know, you're dating somebody,
Speaker 1: you have like if you have a fight, you have
Speaker 1: an issue, you can't stop thinking about it, and it
Speaker 1: almost like controls your day. And so I just thought,
Speaker 1: if I just leave that to the side and just
Speaker 1: work real hard right now, then I'll have the best
Speaker 1: relationship ever later on. So what are you doing now?
Speaker 1: Still the same thing you're I was trying to say, right,
Speaker 1: you're into fitness, right, yeah, okay, so um, nowadays, so
Speaker 1: I I started a few of my own little companies,
Speaker 1: Like I did a clothing line, I've doing my podcast now.
Speaker 1: Then I have my supplement line. Um, I do sell
Speaker 1: some fitness Yeah these are mine. Okay, look at that.
Speaker 1: I don't know where that came from. Is there anything
Speaker 1: for like to gain weight? Uh? Not so well, we
Speaker 1: have protein but like products, but um, but basically what
Speaker 1: I do now, this is something that I'm really like
Speaker 1: working hard on. Um, is we're working on creating people
Speaker 1: in TV their own companies because you know, everybody just
Speaker 1: does brand deals and does all this stuff. But since
Speaker 1: I've created so many of these, at this point, I
Speaker 1: know so much about like manufacturing and fulfilm and websites
Speaker 1: all that stuff that it's like, there's all these people
Speaker 1: going on TV, but everybody's getting thousand bucks here, two
Speaker 1: thousand bucks there to do a post. But it's gonna end,
Speaker 1: you know, eventually. So I'm just working on now creating
Speaker 1: people companies. We've talked to Jason Tardik and Taisha from
Speaker 1: this current season, so working with a few people to
Speaker 1: kind of get it going. Actually ran now you guys
Speaker 1: analytics who I can how I'm doing well? They say
Speaker 1: me Adams instead of yours for some reason. I don't
Speaker 1: know why, but yeah, Adam from Adam and Raven. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know, but I got but I got you guys,
Speaker 1: how do you get insights? That's scary. Well, I have
Speaker 1: like these internet so I work with like a team.
Speaker 1: It's called Exalt, So I have like the financial backers
Speaker 1: and the funding and everything. I'm in charge of product development, manufacturing, fulfillment,
Speaker 1: and then we have some guys who are in charge
Speaker 1: of like creating all the funnels and all the internet
Speaker 1: systems and doing all that stuff. Well, there's also a
Speaker 1: website and I think it's called Social Blade. It like
Speaker 1: grades your social media engagement. And I've got an kind
Speaker 1: of Square two which is pretty interesting, like helps provide
Speaker 1: insights all that kind of stuff. What is it only
Speaker 1: for simple stuff? But ours? Ours is like I know
Speaker 1: everything about you guys if I look at this list,
Speaker 1: like everything, but still, I mean, is it that's scary
Speaker 1: to know you're engagement? It's definitely interesting. Definitely have like
Speaker 1: a super in depth analysis is pretty cool. I remember
Speaker 1: I lean over to Jared like two months ago or
Speaker 1: something like that. I was like, damn, it must be
Speaker 1: nice to be gaining followers instead of losing. I'm saying, steady, yeah,
Speaker 1: of course I'm losing Bachelor and gaining X on the beach.
Speaker 1: So it literally just it looks like, yeah, it looks
Speaker 1: like nothing might haven't been on since my season. So
Speaker 1: I'm just like, my thing is, once you're in Paradise
Speaker 1: this summer, you'll be fine. I was just I was
Speaker 1: just talking about it's actually with some friends. So I
Speaker 1: just did a sky to having cores out in Paris, California,
Speaker 1: and a lot of them were like influencers, like real
Speaker 1: people that built their brands up through like organically rather
Speaker 1: than going on television. And I was like, yeah, I
Speaker 1: lose like a thousand followers every couple of days whatever
Speaker 1: it is. And they're like, dude, it's because you're so
Speaker 1: uh like inconsistent and you're always doing something different, like
Speaker 1: no one really knows what to expect, and that's what
Speaker 1: you are, Like, oh what, because I'm sorry, what is
Speaker 1: this kid doing? Now? I'm gonna follow him because like
Speaker 1: I have no idea what to expect. Like you look
Speaker 1: at people that are successful, it's because they're always doing
Speaker 1: the same thing over and over. It's so interesting though,
Speaker 1: because wouldn't you imagine people want to go on social
Speaker 1: media and see something different instead of seeing the same
Speaker 1: thing over and over and over again. I don't know.
Speaker 1: It's just kind of hard for us because I feel
Speaker 1: like we go on TV and we gain them all,
Speaker 1: and then once you're off TV, they're like, I lost
Speaker 1: them after my engagement ended. It was just like so many.
Speaker 1: But I'm like, that's fine. If you were following me
Speaker 1: for something specific and it's a good person, it's not
Speaker 1: you're in this new relationships, So yeah, I think I
Speaker 1: built my following up based off of just being like
Speaker 1: entertaining and just kind of a jerk. So it's like
Speaker 1: my following is almost to me like your private because
Speaker 1: I want to go check your projects with the Yeah,
Speaker 1: the MTV people all do that because it's like MTV
Speaker 1: people are like younger, so they'll just come in and
Speaker 1: comment you suck, and then leave. So it's like, well,
Speaker 1: you're gonna follow me if you're a comment sorry. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so they all all MTV people go private? Wait, chat?
Speaker 1: Are you angler in a relationship now? Is there something?
Speaker 1: Was there something happening between you and farah uh wait?
Speaker 1: Something like dating wise? Like on the show, like was
Speaker 1: there she kind of wanted to and I don't think
Speaker 1: it was shown, but um, I was talking to another
Speaker 1: girl and so she kind of backed up because you
Speaker 1: know she's she's business. Try and have a funny story.
Speaker 1: Any m is actually on Twitter one time before the
Speaker 1: show that was I called her on it one time
Speaker 1: and I love calling people out. That's what I'm gonna
Speaker 1: do right now. So does Corey like older women? Corey
Speaker 1: Corey Brooks from I have no idea. Remember when I
Speaker 1: was at that wedding, I was good looking. I did
Speaker 1: not know that. Is there a point to this story?
Speaker 1: What was that? Just Jessica Graf's wedding and Corey and
Speaker 1: I know each other from before. Just Jess's wedding and
Speaker 1: he came up to He's like, Vanessa's been so long,
Speaker 1: Evan seen you? And I think, like, I love Corey.
Speaker 1: He's a great guy. But I don't know if he
Speaker 1: was drinking or whatever. But he's like, uh so, how long,
Speaker 1: something about like being in l a blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, oh, well, how old are you? And
Speaker 1: he's like twenty seven. I'm like I'm like, oh, you'll
Speaker 1: be in late for a while. He's like, why how
Speaker 1: old are you, Mike, I'm thirty one. He's like, it
Speaker 1: was great seeing Vanessa and he just walks away. I
Speaker 1: was like, was it because I'm thirty one? That's weird.
Speaker 1: I think he just I don't know. I mean, it
Speaker 1: could have been. It's weird. It's weird to see that
Speaker 1: he was on this show. I thought you were saying
Speaker 1: he did have a thing for no. I was just like, uh, okay,
Speaker 1: And that was like right around the time, like I
Speaker 1: was dating this guy. It kind of ended, and it
Speaker 1: was kind of just like it hurt a little bit.
Speaker 1: All right, Chad, real talk, real question. Are you single?
Speaker 1: I can't fully get into it. You're gonna have to, honestly,
Speaker 1: not only watch the show, but the reunion. Give us
Speaker 1: something to give us something, some sort of cliffhang or
Speaker 1: something that's obviously I'm gonna watch anyone. We're gonna watch regardless,
Speaker 1: but give us something that's gonna make us sit on
Speaker 1: the edge of our seats. Do we see a new
Speaker 1: side of Chad? Yeah, you definitely see a different see
Speaker 1: like a loving side. I think I'm kind of worried
Speaker 1: that it's almost like two lovey dovey. That's a good thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I agree, because I think, uh, you, like we talked
Speaker 1: about before you you you made your mistakes on Bachelor,
Speaker 1: but I think you have a more of a different
Speaker 1: side to you as well, So I'm hoping people get
Speaker 1: to see that. I do have a question for you, though,
Speaker 1: because you were also a couple of years ago on
Speaker 1: Single Single right, and you were on with were No.
Speaker 1: I was on with Ronnie Yeah, and Molika and Tiffany
Speaker 1: New York. I'm the biggest Jersey Shore fan and I
Speaker 1: was so jealous that you got to know those guys.
Speaker 1: And I saw you at the Jersey Shore premiere earlier,
Speaker 1: like Jesus almost a year ago now, and it was
Speaker 1: you're just boys with all them, and I was so
Speaker 1: jealous at the point of my story right there, those
Speaker 1: dudes were just it wasn't a question I wanted to
Speaker 1: be like, I was so out hangut people, I was
Speaker 1: so outside of the Bachelor world. It was so good
Speaker 1: to like finally like have these people I could like
Speaker 1: talk to that were like hey, and I'm like, oh
Speaker 1: my god, I got TV friends now. High fives are like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, it's pretty cool. So U because the day
Speaker 1: you want to have friends to do the same thing
Speaker 1: as you, it's kind of oh, of course, it's one.
Speaker 1: It's it's they can relate to you, which is really
Speaker 1: nicely too. It's a great networking tool because you know,
Speaker 1: you meet people over at CBS or Fox or MTV
Speaker 1: and you got to do things that you never thought
Speaker 1: you'd be able to do. Yeah, I totally agree. And
Speaker 1: Ronnie was really cool. I mean we hung out all
Speaker 1: the time and when until he moved to Vegas once
Speaker 1: they started shooting the new show, and then he started
Speaker 1: dating that girl. Um, I think that's I think he
Speaker 1: was actually in my hotel when he found out she
Speaker 1: was pregnant. Oh wow. It was like me and my
Speaker 1: ex girlfriend and him just hanging out. He was like
Speaker 1: on the phone outside, like, bro, I don't know, that's
Speaker 1: really cool. I think that's really cool girl from Rhode Island.
Speaker 1: And so I got into Jersey Shore and then just
Speaker 1: fell in love with them. They're just awesome. It's pretty crazy.
Speaker 1: I'll really like down to earth. They are in comparison
Speaker 1: to some of the people you meet in this industry
Speaker 1: just you know, it just blow up. But I always
Speaker 1: felt like whenever I met those guys, it was they're
Speaker 1: very like, just so chill, yeah, very like like, hey,
Speaker 1: I did this. And I think it's because they have
Speaker 1: the second chance now because they did it and I
Speaker 1: almost had it taken away for so many years and
Speaker 1: now they have this second chance and they're just so
Speaker 1: respectful about it. Um. So, do you have any crazy
Speaker 1: fans story because you are bad Chad from the Bachelor,
Speaker 1: Has there anybody come up and been like you're a
Speaker 1: jerk man? Yeah? That okay, that happens. Yeah, I mean
Speaker 1: not a lot. Most of the time, I either get like, hey,
Speaker 1: where are your muscles or hey it's the apple. Where
Speaker 1: are yeah? In in person and I'm like, well, you know,
Speaker 1: the TV makes you look bigger, Yeah, muscular, and like
Speaker 1: I thought you were so much taller and like curvier.
Speaker 1: People think I'm shorter. They see me, They're like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I I didn't expect you to be that tall to
Speaker 1: see people think that I'm shorter. So it is very
Speaker 1: nice when people walk up to me and they're like, well,
Speaker 1: you're taller. Yeah. It's like because I'm surrounded by people
Speaker 1: that are like yeah, six two six six four one,
Speaker 1: and I look One of the things that Jared said
Speaker 1: early on I think it maybe back like early back
Speaker 1: into his in eight teen, was you had a friend
Speaker 1: who was labeled as a good guy on the show
Speaker 1: and how then being labeled as the villain or bad
Speaker 1: guy quote unquote, Uh. He was ecstatic about it because like, how,
Speaker 1: what's that story? Do you mind sharing it again? There's
Speaker 1: a dude on my season. There's a dude within the Bachelor.
Speaker 1: Frenchies don't want give his name away, but like he
Speaker 1: was loved on on the Bachelorette, hated on Paradise villain
Speaker 1: I when the Paradise is errand he was like, I
Speaker 1: don't know, this is the best thing that's ever happened
Speaker 1: to me, because on the Bachelorette I get d ms
Speaker 1: of like please marry me, and then Paradise I get
Speaker 1: new d ms of girls just wanted to sleep with me,
Speaker 1: and it's great. I will admit. That's been the majority
Speaker 1: of the type of stuff I got, almost to the
Speaker 1: point where like, so like right after the show, I
Speaker 1: said I didn't really date, but I would get so
Speaker 1: many girls just hit me up just a straight like
Speaker 1: hook up because it's like the bad boy, you know that.
Speaker 1: Eventually I would just like look at the d M
Speaker 1: and be like, well I could look at the next
Speaker 1: one where well I could have because it's just like
Speaker 1: it's too much work, you know, it's not gonna lead anywhere.
Speaker 1: So yeah, just how does the girlfriend now? I fee
Speaker 1: about that? So Chad's engaged. Great ending as well, Chad,
Speaker 1: we really appreciate it. Dean. Do you have any final thoughts? Uh? Yeah,
Speaker 1: what are you gonna do after this? You're gonna go
Speaker 1: hang out your girlfriend or maybe come on, Chad, give
Speaker 1: us something to work with here? Well, should girls be
Speaker 1: sliding into your d M. Yeah, you almost had it.
Speaker 1: I mean too long is media training is two rock solid?
Speaker 1: Now maybe maybe last year? Maybe last year, Chad, we
Speaker 1: can see you on X on the Beach season to
Speaker 1: what nights does it air? That is every Thursday, eight
Speaker 1: seven Central. My getting Monday, I Got Bachelor Tuesday, we
Speaker 1: got Temptation Island. By the way, we met Mark Wahlberg,
Speaker 1: who loves you, uh really not Mark, Mark? Not Mark
Speaker 1: that because he just came onto my podcast and I'm
Speaker 1: not gonna lie. I had like had a crazy weekend
Speaker 1: in Florida with or without whoever we may be talking
Speaker 1: about if we are, And so I'm saying he dropped
Speaker 1: her name and that's why I'm waiting for you to
Speaker 1: just say the same thing as well. Uh yeah, yeah
Speaker 1: he didn't drop her name on air. Yeah I was.
Speaker 1: I was trying to do the podcast with him, and
Speaker 1: if there is he dropped, come on help me and
Speaker 1: help listener. It could be there was. I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 1: Dean just fooled his co host right there. I was like,
Speaker 1: he didn't say anything on air. Wow, Well I'm an idiot,
Speaker 1: And Chad, where else can people find you? So you
Speaker 1: guys can find me at real Chad Johnson on Twitter, Instagram, everything.
Speaker 1: He's private now because he has a girlfriend private because
Speaker 1: you can. Also, you can also write in every Bachelor
Speaker 1: contestants full name you are l dot com and it
Speaker 1: will read ark. Pretty much anybody from my season of
Speaker 1: The Bachelor, you can pretty much type in their domain
Speaker 1: name Robbie Hayes, Shakes McNary, alex Dan McGuire. I pretty
Speaker 1: much own them all, um, you can find me. I
Speaker 1: got my podcast, Chad's World on podcast one, Apple iTunes,
Speaker 1: and then also I do free fitness plans on my
Speaker 1: website elite shape dot com as well. That's where I
Speaker 1: have all my supplement lines and stuff. There are a
Speaker 1: lot of things that I could criticize you for, but
Speaker 1: at the end of the day, you are a smart person,
Speaker 1: so I didn't like, I can't really think you know,
Speaker 1: I will take that. There we go, all right? Chat?
Speaker 1: Thanks coming in then? Yeah for sure? Thanks? Thanks? Ja.
Speaker 1: All right, what do you think you're the one that
Speaker 1: was opinionated? What do I think I mean? It's like
Speaker 1: I said in the while he was here, It's hard
Speaker 1: to be critical of someone because I've made big mistakes
Speaker 1: after being drunk right like that. It's not excusable, but
Speaker 1: it kind of helps lend more to the story. I
Speaker 1: don't I don't know. I think it's been more time
Speaker 1: with him before I can really make a definitive decision.
Speaker 1: I like him more than I than the notion that
Speaker 1: I had going into the interview. Yeah. If I had
Speaker 1: never watched or like seeing any episodes of him being
Speaker 1: on like a Bachelor in Paradise and stuff like that,
Speaker 1: I would never think that he can get to that
Speaker 1: level because he was so nice sin Yeah, he got sweet,
Speaker 1: he got wasted his first time in Paradise, and he
Speaker 1: just I just need more, more film, more from it,
Speaker 1: more time with him to really make a decision. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think. Uh. The thing about Chad is that he
Speaker 1: has made a lot of mistakes and he's been a
Speaker 1: jerk on TV, but he admits it, and I gotta
Speaker 1: give him credit for that. And like the Sarah Heron thing,
Speaker 1: I'm with you uncalled for ridiculous out of line, but
Speaker 1: he's not like he doubled down on it, you know.
Speaker 1: He I saw him apologize on on TV numerous times,
Speaker 1: and I understand Sarah being really hard to let that go.
Speaker 1: So I can understand. It's it's one of those things
Speaker 1: where I'm like, I understand both points, Like Chad, you're wrong,
Speaker 1: you're you're a jerk, but you have apologized multiple times,
Speaker 1: and so I you know, that's my faults. But I
Speaker 1: guess that's like a little indicator of someone's character, right,
Speaker 1: if like you can apologize. But I mean, we all
Speaker 1: think really mean things. Sometimes we can think like some things,
Speaker 1: but most of us will like internalize it and not
Speaker 1: actually put it out there to the universe. A K
Speaker 1: trolls on it on the internet, and like, you know,
Speaker 1: but if someone actually does it, I feel like that's
Speaker 1: a testament to reveal your true personality. Or drinking change
Speaker 1: your personality. Drunk words are sober thoughts, right, That's how
Speaker 1: it changes your personality. Because yes, because a friend of mine,
Speaker 1: somebody that care about deeply UH as issues with alcohol
Speaker 1: and they're the sweetest piece person. But when they drink,
Speaker 1: sweet is the piece of UH. They're the greatest person,
Speaker 1: and when they drink, they just become uh not just
Speaker 1: like yeah, just like always belittle and not belittling, but
Speaker 1: just like I think that the world's against them, and
Speaker 1: you know why don't you do this, and why don't
Speaker 1: you do that? And you know they wouldn't say anything
Speaker 1: really horrible, but they're just it changes them, you know.
Speaker 1: I think if you also add in the fact that
Speaker 1: there's cameras around you, you could morph into this different
Speaker 1: person that you don't even know, a side of you
Speaker 1: that you didn't even know you had. And I also
Speaker 1: think that Chad is he plays it up like I
Speaker 1: It's just something that in my opinion, I think that
Speaker 1: he likes the attention, just like we all do, you know,
Speaker 1: whether we'd like to admit it or not, we all
Speaker 1: like to get attention. And I think Chad, you know,
Speaker 1: does things to stir the pot to get people talking
Speaker 1: about him. And I think he creates kind of like
Speaker 1: a character of himself on TV and uh when in
Speaker 1: person he's you know, uh more yeah, down to earth
Speaker 1: and like easy to talk to. Yea. So, to Vanessa's point,
Speaker 1: are we all monsters? And we just because of society?
Speaker 1: We put on a brave face and we polite and
Speaker 1: we do all the things that we're supposed to do
Speaker 1: a society, But deep down we're all horrible people. I
Speaker 1: wouldn't say horrible, but there is certainly good and bad
Speaker 1: and each in every single one of us. Um, And
Speaker 1: you're right, it's just depending on our value system and
Speaker 1: are able to control that. And um, you know we
Speaker 1: all have the capability of doing really horrible things. Um,
Speaker 1: it's just whether we have the will to just saying
Speaker 1: or not act on them. Yeah, saying things dark thought
Speaker 1: for the day, I know. Anyway, So speaking of dark thoughts,
Speaker 1: you know what's a dark thought? Going to the grocery store.
Speaker 1: That is the worst spare, especially in l A. There's
Speaker 1: no parking lots. You gotta find parking for Oh it's horrible.
Speaker 1: But you know what, you know what you don't have
Speaker 1: to do. You can just order groceries at home online
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Speaker 1: how many of those Himalayan salt last the ceiling one
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Speaker 1: dot com slash Dean. Incredible emails. This is from Morgan Morgan,
Speaker 1: We love woman. She says, I've been in a serious
Speaker 1: relationship for two years, but the last six months have
Speaker 1: been rocky. During the better part of our relationship, I've
Speaker 1: honestly never felt more loved by anyone in my entire life.
Speaker 1: But now it seems as though our relationship is ending.
Speaker 1: The last thing he texted to me was, well, you
Speaker 1: are right on the fact that it could actually be
Speaker 1: possible with things changing. I don't want to walk away
Speaker 1: because I've always loved you, but I don't know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm thinking I just want you to know I'm not
Speaker 1: ignoring you. Since that text, he has not responded to
Speaker 1: me in over a week, so I've tried multiple times
Speaker 1: to contact him. Do you think he's not that enemy?
Speaker 1: Should I start moving on? Yes? And before we say anything,
Speaker 1: you more than you ended the email with, do you
Speaker 1: think maybe he's just not that into me? Yeah? You
Speaker 1: guys have been in a serious relationship for two years
Speaker 1: and you have to ask that question at the end
Speaker 1: of the email. Well, they do say after there's like
Speaker 1: the two year breaking point on it, or something like
Speaker 1: after two years, like the first year, at the honeymoon stage,
Speaker 1: a second year. I guess like you're starting to know
Speaker 1: each other. We should get Sia. She's she's an expert
Speaker 1: on these things over we talked to her earlier, so
Speaker 1: we should get her and get her. If you'll, if
Speaker 1: you all remember from about nine, oh, you want to
Speaker 1: stay with me? You want to sit About nine or
Speaker 1: ten months ago, we advertised that we were running a
Speaker 1: batchbacket league. That help I secon dating Batchbacket League and
Speaker 1: Sierra in her infinite is it Sierra Serra Sira, I
Speaker 1: was calling infinite wisdom. She won the batch bracket league,
Speaker 1: not just by a small margin, but with flying colors.
Speaker 1: How many people were in the batch bracket Like a thousand,
Speaker 1: two hundred people were in the Batchbacket league. I was
Speaker 1: in the league, and I got like and I watched,
Speaker 1: I watched the episodes before they aired, and I still
Speaker 1: got last place a thousand people and she wanted for you.
Speaker 1: It's incredible. What's your advice for Morgan? Sira? Well, I
Speaker 1: think that ideally you should be able to ask him
Speaker 1: the questions that you're asking. And I understand like asking
Speaker 1: other people for advice, but I think you're asking pretty
Speaker 1: clear things that you should already have a foundation for
Speaker 1: a lot of the emails like yet they already know
Speaker 1: the answer. It's like listen, like I would go to
Speaker 1: a psychic or tarot card reader just to get like
Speaker 1: reassurance of what I already knew. I feel like that's
Speaker 1: what we are to them, like a trot tarot card readers,
Speaker 1: Like we're just reassuring you that what you're feeling is right. Yeah.
Speaker 1: But my question, um Morgan has been saying that he
Speaker 1: has been unresponsive for the past Yeah, so's the question,
Speaker 1: what does she do next? Because from what I'm understanding
Speaker 1: is that this relationship is not over or hasn't been ended.
Speaker 1: It's just him saying you should take well no, no, no,
Speaker 1: no no, Actually I take that back. She shouldn't take
Speaker 1: the reins because then what what her boyfriend is going
Speaker 1: to do is say, oh, well you went of the
Speaker 1: relationship with me, when in reality he's essentially ending it.
Speaker 1: Yet she's going to be forced into a position of
Speaker 1: verbally cutting cut it off, and then he can later
Speaker 1: on make her feel guilty for doing that. So what
Speaker 1: do you suggest he doesn't or she does in that case?
Speaker 1: I mean, I think you should know what you deserve
Speaker 1: a little bit, and people always say communication is so
Speaker 1: important in a relationship. So if he's not even giving
Speaker 1: you the access to communicate with him, then I think
Speaker 1: that's your answer. Well done. You're a the relationship therapist. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: But I've always had a fascination with it. I was
Speaker 1: really interested in infidel since I was in high school.
Speaker 1: So I did grad school and everything, and then through
Speaker 1: studying different licenses and specialties, I found sex addiction. And
Speaker 1: then through that sex therapy. Why infidelity? Were there something
Speaker 1: in your life that push you in that direction? Actually
Speaker 1: not my family. I don't know. I just always had
Speaker 1: a weird fascination with it, and it wasn't until I
Speaker 1: was older that, you know, I felt like it became
Speaker 1: more relevant. Have you ever cheated on anyone? If she's
Speaker 1: so fascinated by well, I was going to ask if
Speaker 1: you were in a relationship, and if they were relationship.
Speaker 1: I've been in all three points of the triangle. Got it? Wait? Three?
Speaker 1: Yea three? Being cheated on, being cheating, and then being
Speaker 1: the person cheating. She was doing some homework for her degree.
Speaker 1: She wanted to be a sex therapist. You know, you
Speaker 1: got a really experience, so you can understand. I get it.
Speaker 1: So anyways for advice for Morgan, essentially is almost four
Speaker 1: him to communicate with you because you know the answer,
Speaker 1: but you want to hear it from him. In my's
Speaker 1: in my opinion, that's what she should do. Is here
Speaker 1: exactly how he feels from him. That way, he can't
Speaker 1: turn around and be like, you're the reason for this.
Speaker 1: I say, move on with your life. Just move on,
Speaker 1: acquire an answer, require some like objective words, right, I mean,
Speaker 1: I think it's so easy to say move on, But
Speaker 1: I think like at the end of the day, you
Speaker 1: have like an emotional attachment to someone, you love, someone
Speaker 1: for two years that were part of your life, significant
Speaker 1: significant part of your life for two years, you want
Speaker 1: to be able to at least like, I'm the type
Speaker 1: of person I want to be able to end it
Speaker 1: in a way that like, when once it ends, I
Speaker 1: know I'm not looking back and I know I have
Speaker 1: zero regrets. So she needs to message him a direct
Speaker 1: message about where she stands, and she needs to know
Speaker 1: where he stands in order for her to be able
Speaker 1: to make a decision. For me, I'm kind of uh,
Speaker 1: I think that she should just end it. She should
Speaker 1: text or call him and just say it's over. She
Speaker 1: should break up with him because the idea that he's not.
Speaker 1: They've been in a two year relationship and he hasn't
Speaker 1: responded to her for a week after telling her. But
Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, I'm thinking, I just want you
Speaker 1: to know I'm not ignoring you. Go to hell, bro,
Speaker 1: you know that's exactly Yes, you're right, You're right. It
Speaker 1: matters less who's actually doing the ending, I think. But
Speaker 1: you deserve better, so you should just move on with
Speaker 1: your life. Amen to that. We've got a number of
Speaker 1: emails for Vanessa. For me, Yes, Hailey says, I recently
Speaker 1: went on a date and he asked me about my
Speaker 1: bracelet that says Grace. I said, I think it's one
Speaker 1: of the most important things in life. And he said,
Speaker 1: you're too good a person to be hanging out with
Speaker 1: someone like me Red Flag another man in my life,
Speaker 1: this pastor said. I intimidated him because I have my
Speaker 1: ish together well so that all I can say is
Speaker 1: thank you. There is a lyric to a song that says,
Speaker 1: the only thing about flames that right is they tend
Speaker 1: to make mine seem darker. I need someone who sees
Speaker 1: my flame for the bright fire that it is and
Speaker 1: wants to be near it. Vanessa, I think you needed
Speaker 1: to hear this. I believe you, Burton Bright, and I
Speaker 1: know you it in yourself. Oh my god, Haley, I'm
Speaker 1: literally like jumping up and down right now. That is
Speaker 1: such a powerful email. Thank you so much for sharing that,
Speaker 1: and I absolutely agree with you. Um. When I was
Speaker 1: dating a few people, my close friends of mine were
Speaker 1: telling me, Vanessa, I just see like you're like getting
Speaker 1: dimmer and dimmer and dimmer. And so I started to
Speaker 1: realize that I wasn't being my full authentic self whenever
Speaker 1: I was in these types of relationships, and that's when
Speaker 1: I knew I had to like end it and move on. UM.
Speaker 1: And then I would date people who would who tell
Speaker 1: me you're too intimidating, And I don't know if that's
Speaker 1: there nicer way of saying, I'm just not that into you.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna make it seem as if you're like
Speaker 1: that big of a person that I can't like start dating. UM.
Speaker 1: But I took that as a sign that, you know,
Speaker 1: if you can't deal with whatever is going on in
Speaker 1: my life right now, then I don't how could you
Speaker 1: be like someone who's a supportive father or a supportive husbands.
Speaker 1: So literally the next that when Arianna Grandy came out
Speaker 1: with her thank You Next song, I just kept playing
Speaker 1: that on a replay for like days. What why why
Speaker 1: are you doing that? No, I totally agree with you.
Speaker 1: I think the handmost and you're giving, doesn't you know
Speaker 1: what it is? It's just the thing. If one more time,
Speaker 1: thank you? No, I I agree with you. I I
Speaker 1: I think in general, sometimes I shouldn't say in general.
Speaker 1: I think sometimes guys have a tendency to date down. Sure,
Speaker 1: they want to feel superior, superior exactly, and so I
Speaker 1: think that while it is kind of BS to be
Speaker 1: like you intimidate me or you're too good for me,
Speaker 1: I think there is a sliver of truth when guys
Speaker 1: say that, Um, I don't know. They shouldn't. They should
Speaker 1: just they should just man up. That's what they should do.
Speaker 1: They should man up. From a personal experience, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: share a personal story with you that I don't think
Speaker 1: it's been shared on air before. It involves a very
Speaker 1: close friend of all of ours, Tanya rad But I
Speaker 1: went on a date with Marty knows this very well. Beautiful,
Speaker 1: She's like a bright light. So we went on a
Speaker 1: date six months ago. How how long ago is that?
Speaker 1: I don't know. I can get you the exact dat
Speaker 1: if you'd like me to, but I know concert Anyways,
Speaker 1: we then went to the I Heart Festival in Las Vegas,
Speaker 1: all of us Tatanya's I heeart. We have this podcast
Speaker 1: your iHeart, um, and so obviously all of us were there,
Speaker 1: and we were back in the green room on like
Speaker 1: a Friday or Saturday night or something. Humble break, no
Speaker 1: big deal, We're hanging with celebrities left in the night,
Speaker 1: just whatever. And Tanya lin like comes over to me,
Speaker 1: not comes over, but we're having a conversation, and she
Speaker 1: goes like, why didn't you know, why has there been
Speaker 1: no interest to go on a second date? And my
Speaker 1: gud getting nervous or phones already regret it, Um, and
Speaker 1: I had been drinking at that point, you know, obviously,
Speaker 1: like it was one in the morning at this point,
Speaker 1: right and it's a Saturday night, we're in Las Vegas,
Speaker 1: and I sent you kind of dive into something similar
Speaker 1: to what Haley is dealing with, where I was like
Speaker 1: confiding in Tanya. I was like, look, who, You're just
Speaker 1: too good for me? In a sense where like I
Speaker 1: won't be able to live up to the expectations that
Speaker 1: I feel like you should have for your significant other.
Speaker 1: Then and I got into all the shortcomings that I
Speaker 1: would have in the relationship, and I literally got to
Speaker 1: the point where, in the middle of this green room
Speaker 1: or surrounded by legitimate celebrities, I started crying, like bawling
Speaker 1: in front of everyone, and Tanya like, lean over, She's like,
Speaker 1: why are you crying? I was like, I don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know what's going on. I'm emotional right now.
Speaker 1: I feel bad for letting you down even after just
Speaker 1: one date and not essentially being able to buy into
Speaker 1: the fact that I could live up to what you
Speaker 1: need in a person um and especially like we we
Speaker 1: kind of miss align on a lot of um like
Speaker 1: not moral things, but he's very like faithful and devout
Speaker 1: and like all these things that I don't necessarily agree with,
Speaker 1: which is not a deal breaker by any means, but
Speaker 1: I think it's important to her, And so I'm just
Speaker 1: trying to play devil's advocate for Haley, because can I
Speaker 1: can I play a devil's advocate for you, because I
Speaker 1: was because I agree with what you're saying uh, having
Speaker 1: said that, being someone similar to yourself for a very
Speaker 1: long time, thinking maybe I couldn't live up to the
Speaker 1: expectations that Ashley gave to me, which is why we
Speaker 1: weren't together for quite some time. And so for me,
Speaker 1: in my mind, it was like, she's too good for me.
Speaker 1: She's a bright star, and I just can't keep up
Speaker 1: with that, And in retrospect, having like to really either
Speaker 1: do something or just continue living in that path, I
Speaker 1: think it was kind of lazy on my part to
Speaker 1: call me lazy. I think so, I think I might
Speaker 1: be calling you a little lazy nine a terrible way,
Speaker 1: because you're a wonderful human being. But in terms of
Speaker 1: saying someone you're too good for me, because it's like, well,
Speaker 1: you know what, if the feelings were there, then I
Speaker 1: should be driven enough to try to catch up to you,
Speaker 1: to be like, no, I can be that guy, because
Speaker 1: I think a lot of times guys will say I'm
Speaker 1: not good enough. I'm just not good enough. So I'm
Speaker 1: gonna keep living my in my little bubble and not
Speaker 1: be willing to really fight for what I want. But
Speaker 1: what if there's no desire to be that good, Well,
Speaker 1: then I think the feelings aren't there. I think it's both.
Speaker 1: I think you're both right. I mean, I don't think.
Speaker 1: I don't see Dean is being lazy in this situation.
Speaker 1: I'm not calling Dean lazy. I was calling I've been
Speaker 1: in that situation too, because guys in their twenties are lazy,
Speaker 1: Like we don't want to work that hard. We wanted
Speaker 1: to be really easy. And I don't know what it
Speaker 1: is if it's that's feeling, it's that spark, it's that lover,
Speaker 1: it's that maturity that finally makes us get off our butts.
Speaker 1: But yeah, there is a certain kind of I don't
Speaker 1: and I think it's also guys that want. Guys want
Speaker 1: to be wanted. We want I don't want. I want
Speaker 1: the opposite. I really hate it, and I want to earn.
Speaker 1: I don't know why. Why do you do what? Why
Speaker 1: do you like? It's a contraing in me. If you
Speaker 1: don't want me, I want you to want me, and
Speaker 1: if you want me, I don't want you to be wanting.
Speaker 1: I don't want want more. But how are you going
Speaker 1: to have something like significant? I'm not so I can
Speaker 1: shake that, and trust me, I know it's a character
Speaker 1: fall or flaw. I'm sorry, Um, it's just that's how
Speaker 1: I am and I think about all the time. But
Speaker 1: that makes me so sad. I'm happy, like makes me
Speaker 1: sad because like, I want you to see what we
Speaker 1: all see in you. But the point is, it's it's
Speaker 1: this weird complex that I have my brain where if you,
Speaker 1: like I said, if you want me, I don't want,
Speaker 1: you don't want me, and if you don't want me
Speaker 1: that I want you want. It's almost like you you
Speaker 1: pursue somebody and when they finally are like okay, yes
Speaker 1: I'm here for You're like totally, that's so much. The
Speaker 1: reason I say that is because I'm very similar to
Speaker 1: Yah Sarah. Do you have advice for being on this
Speaker 1: because we might need a professional for this. Yeah, we
Speaker 1: need a sex serapist opinion on this, please. Yeah. The
Speaker 1: question is the question is is there any hope for me?
Speaker 1: Or look at your face for your I'm glad that
Speaker 1: my face is the only thing that makes Garry think
Speaker 1: that there's hope. But what I'm saying is, though the
Speaker 1: way you get to the point of thinking I deserve
Speaker 1: this is difficult. Well, here's the challenge hard, here's the
Speaker 1: challenging thing now too, is there's a podcast with three
Speaker 1: hosts and I'm the only single person. Now apparently, boy,
Speaker 1: let's jump into Vanessa's new boyfriend real quick, can't we? Yes?
Speaker 1: We can? We? Are you shaking your head over there?
Speaker 1: You can stop talking about it when the guests were
Speaker 1: in here, right, Well, I just don't want to talk
Speaker 1: about it right now. But maybe next week I'll give
Speaker 1: you some. But here's the thing. Last time you did this,
Speaker 1: you ended up having went to a wedding with a dog.
Speaker 1: Tell us it's a little bit more substantial than that. Well,
Speaker 1: I told you the guy that I kissed on You
Speaker 1: said you kissed the guy on New Year's Human Mail. Okay,
Speaker 1: so we're gonna dive a little more into that relationship
Speaker 1: next episode. Whatever I'm comfortable sharing. Well, but the fact
Speaker 1: that you're teasing it like this means it's got to
Speaker 1: be a good payoff. You gotta give us a legitimate
Speaker 1: payoff next week. You can't just he has brown hair.
Speaker 1: They're done. He doesn't have brown Oh, all right, we're
Speaker 1: narrowing it down. It's like playing the game. Guests who
Speaker 1: you know he doesn't hear glasses? All right, let's thank
Speaker 1: some people, shall we yes, big big thank you of
Speaker 1: course to Vanessa's favorite support company in the world, third
Speaker 1: love dot com. Be sure to check them out. Go
Speaker 1: to third love dot com slash Vanessa and get off
Speaker 1: your very first purchase. They're an incredible company. Um obviously,
Speaker 1: thank you to twenty three and Me. We love them
Speaker 1: so much. They've been a sponsor of this podcast for
Speaker 1: so long now and they have an incredible product out there.
Speaker 1: It's it's as I mentioned before, it's a product I
Speaker 1: had way before even being a co host of this
Speaker 1: podcast because they're so great. By your twenty three and
Speaker 1: Me Health and Ancestry Kit today at twenty three and
Speaker 1: me dot com slash Dean, and of course, last, but
Speaker 1: certainly not least, is thrive Market. Be sure to go
Speaker 1: to thrive market dot com slash Dean and enter code
Speaker 1: Dean to get off your very first order, and that's
Speaker 1: an order that's already up to percent off of retail prices.
Speaker 1: You'll also get a free thirty day trial, so go
Speaker 1: to thrive market dot com slash Dean. Big thank you
Speaker 1: to the wicked good host, Mark Wallberg, Mark all the
Speaker 1: other Mark Waalbark Now, big thank you to Mark Warward
Speaker 1: for joining us in studio as well Chad Johnson. Big
Speaker 1: thank you to Chad Johnson The Bachelor and now this
Speaker 1: week this on the big Song the Beach. There's always
Speaker 1: one that I love and we'll look back on this
Speaker 1: year as one of my favorites because we're all in
Speaker 1: the studio together. It's so much better when we're all
Speaker 1: in the studio together. The flow is better, the vibe
Speaker 1: is better. It is so hard being on the opposite
Speaker 1: end because I'm like, I don't know if they hear me,
Speaker 1: should I interrupt now, because I think there's like a
Speaker 1: couple of seconds delay, and it's just it's so off
Speaker 1: and I'm so happy. The moral of the story is
Speaker 1: the Vanessa you have to move back to l A
Speaker 1: because we just need it's it's for the podcast. So
Speaker 1: he doesn't have dark hair and he's not we're getting
Speaker 1: we're narrowing it down for next d Is it weird
Speaker 1: that I'm like kind of low key jealous. You're jealous
Speaker 1: a little bit? All right, let's tap into that next Anyways,
Speaker 1: next week's episode of Help I Suck at Dating? Apparently
Speaker 1: I'm the only one that might need to suck a
Speaker 1: little bit less. Follow help by Suck at Dating with Dean,
Speaker 1: Vanessa and Jared on I Heart Radio or wherever you
Speaker 1: listen to podcast