WEBVTT - Why Are Men Like This? 0:00:16.239 --> 0:00:18.280 I do Part two. 0:00:18.560 --> 0:00:20.000 I'm back. 0:00:20.480 --> 0:00:26.480 It's your celebrity mentor and single gal, Kelly ben Simone. 0:00:26.600 --> 0:00:28.600 I'm so excited today because I'm going. 0:00:28.440 --> 0:00:30.960 To chat with a writer who's been featured in the 0:00:31.080 --> 0:00:34.519 Huffington Post, Vogue, Oprah Daily, and she's got a monthly 0:00:34.640 --> 0:00:37.640 column in play Girl magazine. 0:00:37.720 --> 0:00:38.640 She's a woman. 0:00:38.440 --> 0:00:41.519 Behind the viral TikTok account where she does woman on 0:00:41.640 --> 0:00:47.000 the street conversations with real men called anthropology. 0:00:47.280 --> 0:00:48.839 You cannot make this up. 0:00:49.280 --> 0:00:54.680 It's Holly Sulm Hey, Holly, Hi, how are you. 0:00:55.200 --> 0:00:57.880 I'm well, we got the memo. We're both wearing blocked. 0:00:58.440 --> 0:01:02.880 Of course, all the all the cool little girls are all. 0:01:02.760 --> 0:01:07.840 The cool girls. Yeah, how are you excited to meet you? 0:01:08.200 --> 0:01:10.720 I'm I'm Kelly ben Simone. I I know that you're 0:01:10.720 --> 0:01:13.760 your next model because you're really gorgeous. So we're not 0:01:13.800 --> 0:01:15.080 going to talk about modeling. 0:01:14.840 --> 0:01:15.360 But we are. 0:01:15.800 --> 0:01:17.360 I'm so excited to meet you too. 0:01:17.560 --> 0:01:20.880 I've I've see I've watched you on TV. It's so 0:01:21.000 --> 0:01:22.880 great to meet you. I'm a fan. 0:01:23.600 --> 0:01:25.959 Oh my god, I'm oh my god, I'm a fan 0:01:26.080 --> 0:01:29.600 your Oh my god, your TikTok is Literally I was like, 0:01:29.680 --> 0:01:31.720 I was I just moved into a new apartment and 0:01:31.800 --> 0:01:34.200 I was I was listening to them and I literally 0:01:34.319 --> 0:01:37.600 is almost crying. I was like, this girl is amazing. 0:01:38.080 --> 0:01:40.080 Oh my god, you are so funny. 0:01:40.280 --> 0:01:40.679 Thank you. 0:01:41.440 --> 0:01:44.399 Let's get into it, Holly, because you get a lot 0:01:44.480 --> 0:01:45.640 to talk about. 0:01:45.520 --> 0:01:51.680 I'm sure to say, yeah, I want to know everything. 0:01:53.160 --> 0:01:57.160 So you're making this really really interesting content which is 0:01:57.160 --> 0:02:00.480 thought provoking on the Internet and just literally on the street, 0:02:00.560 --> 0:02:06.200 simply asking men why they are the way they all. 0:02:08.160 --> 0:02:10.520 Yeah, how did you start making this content? 0:02:10.720 --> 0:02:14.679 Yeah, it's it's a very simple question, but ilicit's very 0:02:14.720 --> 0:02:15.760 strong reaction. 0:02:16.639 --> 0:02:16.880 Right. 0:02:17.560 --> 0:02:21.720 I'm a writer and so I was just like writing 0:02:21.720 --> 0:02:26.000 about my life very quietly, behind the scenes. Yeah, And 0:02:26.200 --> 0:02:30.760 my lit agent was like, you should start, you know, 0:02:30.919 --> 0:02:34.119 putting yourself on camera more build up your social media profile. 0:02:34.480 --> 0:02:37.840 It'll help to sell your book. So I started like. 0:02:37.880 --> 0:02:40.120 Kind of talking to the camera about what I was 0:02:40.120 --> 0:02:42.440 writing and about what I was going through, and by 0:02:42.520 --> 0:02:46.079 about about my girl life, being a girl, being a woman. 0:02:46.639 --> 0:02:51.040 And it got like inundated with men, Like I got 0:02:51.080 --> 0:02:55.000 all these male followers and they just they started sort 0:02:55.040 --> 0:02:58.200 of infiltrating all of my socials, my sub stack and 0:02:58.280 --> 0:03:01.560 my Instagram my TikTok, like it was just all men, 0:03:01.639 --> 0:03:04.320 and I was like, ah, why are all these men here? 0:03:04.400 --> 0:03:08.760 Like right, this isn't it's not for you. But after 0:03:08.800 --> 0:03:10.360 a while I realized. 0:03:09.960 --> 0:03:13.679 Like there's something here, like if I appeal to men, 0:03:13.760 --> 0:03:14.480 maybe I should. 0:03:14.600 --> 0:03:16.840 I should do something with this, I should lean into it. 0:03:17.280 --> 0:03:19.240 So I thought it would be funny to make a 0:03:19.320 --> 0:03:22.840 show for men. And then I was like, people just 0:03:22.880 --> 0:03:25.880 want to see themselves represented. That's what we're all interested in. 0:03:26.040 --> 0:03:29.799 So I thought, I'll just interview men about being men 0:03:30.080 --> 0:03:32.840 and it'll be kind of like a funny, a funny bit. 0:03:33.040 --> 0:03:36.600 So it started kind of just as a joke, and 0:03:36.640 --> 0:03:39.840 like I just started going around town like with my 0:03:40.320 --> 0:03:43.360 phone and like a bad microphone and just being like. 0:03:43.320 --> 0:03:45.680 Hey, I'm asking men, why are you like this? 0:03:45.800 --> 0:03:49.960 And asking them dumb questions about being men, and it 0:03:50.480 --> 0:03:52.120 just kind of like weirdly took. 0:03:53.720 --> 0:03:54.520 I love that. 0:03:55.120 --> 0:03:58.680 I love when things happen organically and you can just 0:03:58.800 --> 0:04:01.960 really tell that you were literally just walking up to 0:04:02.000 --> 0:04:05.119 these guys and being like, tell me why you won't 0:04:05.200 --> 0:04:08.400 date an old woman, Like tell me why you're you'res 0:04:08.440 --> 0:04:11.120 in your late fifties and your age range is like 0:04:11.440 --> 0:04:12.360 twenty two. 0:04:12.320 --> 0:04:18.520 To thirty what so much of this stuff too, I 0:04:18.600 --> 0:04:23.360 just like stumble upon, like someone like the age rage range. 0:04:23.400 --> 0:04:25.720 Things started because like one guy said. 0:04:25.480 --> 0:04:27.599 Something about, oh, I was dating this woman she was 0:04:27.640 --> 0:04:30.280 younger than me, and then I was like picked up 0:04:30.279 --> 0:04:30.560 on it. 0:04:30.440 --> 0:04:32.560 It was like why do you date younger women? 0:04:33.320 --> 0:04:36.120 And then that just turned into like a question that 0:04:36.160 --> 0:04:37.840 I regularly asked, like what are. 0:04:37.760 --> 0:04:39.599 Your age ranges on your apps? 0:04:39.640 --> 0:04:42.240 And then I'm like why, And then you know, it's 0:04:42.320 --> 0:04:44.599 just feeds off of itself. 0:04:45.160 --> 0:04:49.280 I love the age range so much because like the 0:04:49.360 --> 0:04:53.160 way these guys respond and like, listen, I'm like, I'm 0:04:53.320 --> 0:04:56.359 I love men, and I like find I'm a twin brother, 0:04:56.560 --> 0:05:00.560 like I fend find men to be really fun. Yeah, 0:05:00.720 --> 0:05:06.160 but I just was shocked at how they how they responded. 0:05:06.279 --> 0:05:08.719 I mean, I just was like, I was shocked. 0:05:09.240 --> 0:05:12.960 I love men too, so like people think I'm like 0:05:13.000 --> 0:05:17.080 some angry feminists, I'm a feminist and I'm angry, but 0:05:17.120 --> 0:05:20.919 I'm not mad really like at men in general. Like 0:05:20.960 --> 0:05:25.800 I love men, but I have had, you know, as 0:05:25.839 --> 0:05:29.120 a woman, a lot of weird experiences with them my 0:05:29.320 --> 0:05:34.000 whole life, as we all have. And I just was 0:05:34.080 --> 0:05:39.680 surprised by how like men treat me a certain way 0:05:39.720 --> 0:05:42.520 in the world with no cameras, and I was surprised 0:05:42.520 --> 0:05:45.520 that it actually seems like amplified when the cameras are on, 0:05:45.839 --> 0:05:50.080 Like they're almost emboldened to be even weirder and like creepier. 0:05:50.640 --> 0:05:52.960 So like, you know, getting hit on by a man 0:05:53.600 --> 0:05:56.720 is not that crazy, but the fact that they're willing 0:05:56.800 --> 0:05:59.760 to like do that on camera. I think a lot 0:05:59.800 --> 0:06:01.960 of a lot of men too, like think I'm just 0:06:02.040 --> 0:06:04.479 like a kid with a camera, Like they don't really 0:06:05.200 --> 0:06:07.800 Now they're starting to catch on because people really are. 0:06:07.640 --> 0:06:10.880 Seeing the show, but it's a lot of people would 0:06:10.880 --> 0:06:11.200 be like. 0:06:11.120 --> 0:06:14.200 Oh, is this your school project, And I'd be like, yeah, 0:06:14.760 --> 0:06:16.120 it's still a project. 0:06:17.960 --> 0:06:24.560 That way, I'm dead you know, that is hilarious. 0:06:26.040 --> 0:06:29.640 So I mean, I just I still just I loved 0:06:29.640 --> 0:06:32.400 what you just said about how like being you know, 0:06:32.400 --> 0:06:35.679 having the camera, like you know, it's kind of amplifying their. 0:06:35.480 --> 0:06:38.280 Reactions and you can see that. 0:06:39.000 --> 0:06:42.760 I just feel like, you know, these online conversations like 0:06:42.839 --> 0:06:44.720 they they are that you're having. 0:06:44.440 --> 0:06:45.560 Are just like eye opening. 0:06:45.600 --> 0:06:48.960 I mean, you're just you are you know, You're you're 0:06:48.960 --> 0:06:52.040 saying things that women are thinking and I just feel like, 0:06:52.839 --> 0:06:53.599 what do you think. 0:06:53.520 --> 0:06:56.440 Just gets under men's skin? Like what is it? 0:06:57.680 --> 0:07:02.479 So I'm sure sure you've heard the phrase. 0:07:03.560 --> 0:07:08.120 A man's greatest fear is being humiliated, and a woman's 0:07:08.279 --> 0:07:12.640 greatest fear is being like, you know, murdered by a man. 0:07:13.480 --> 0:07:18.640 And I think this somehow like taps right directly into 0:07:18.680 --> 0:07:22.960 the vein of that is a lot of these men 0:07:23.040 --> 0:07:27.400 think I'm like intentionally trying to humiliate men, or they're 0:07:27.440 --> 0:07:30.560 surprised by my line of questioning that I'm coming up 0:07:30.600 --> 0:07:32.680 to them. They think maybe, oh, this girl's going to 0:07:32.760 --> 0:07:35.760 like flirt with me, and then I'm like, why are 0:07:35.760 --> 0:07:39.680 you like this? And like they think it's they think 0:07:39.680 --> 0:07:44.360 I'm trying to embarrass them, and they just something in 0:07:44.400 --> 0:07:48.480 them short circuits. It's not there's so many men that 0:07:48.560 --> 0:07:51.880 are so cool and that are in on the joke 0:07:52.080 --> 0:07:56.760 and that they think it's so funny and they're fans 0:07:56.800 --> 0:07:59.400 of the show, but they're not the ones that go viral. 0:08:00.400 --> 0:08:03.920 Like I put those videos up too. I'm like, you, guys, 0:08:04.000 --> 0:08:06.720 there's plenty of cool guys out here just you know, 0:08:06.920 --> 0:08:10.120 taking it all in stride, but yeah, the ones that 0:08:10.160 --> 0:08:12.600 really blow up are the ones that get super upset 0:08:12.720 --> 0:08:14.400 and like offended by. 0:08:14.520 --> 0:08:17.240 Right, how about the It's like it's I think you 0:08:17.320 --> 0:08:19.840 have it pinned on TikTok And it's like the guy 0:08:19.960 --> 0:08:24.040 is like, you know, just in his like late twenties 0:08:24.080 --> 0:08:28.160 and early thirties, and he seems to be really really 0:08:28.200 --> 0:08:32.440 offended by you, but then he's like smiling at you 0:08:32.520 --> 0:08:35.480 and asking questions back. So I'm like, I'm like, is 0:08:35.520 --> 0:08:38.679 he I was like, is he flirting? Oh? 0:08:38.800 --> 0:08:41.160 Is that the guy? That's like, why the would you 0:08:41.200 --> 0:08:47.000 ask me that? That guy? Yeah, he gets very upset. Yeah, 0:08:47.080 --> 0:08:47.600 I don't know. 0:08:47.720 --> 0:08:52.320 Again, like it's it's it was the strangest thing because yeah, 0:08:52.320 --> 0:08:54.720 when I walked up to him, he was totally friendly, 0:08:54.960 --> 0:08:57.640 and then I said that, and it was like I 0:08:57.679 --> 0:09:01.640 could see like a cloud, the storm cloud come over him, 0:09:01.720 --> 0:09:05.640 Like his whole demeanor changed and he was so filled 0:09:05.679 --> 0:09:08.840 with like hatred and rage towards me in that minute, 0:09:09.360 --> 0:09:14.720 like I had really pushed something deep deep within him 0:09:14.960 --> 0:09:19.240 that So it's a little scary sometimes. 0:09:19.160 --> 0:09:22.000 Yeah, I mean definitely, especially like you're in public and 0:09:22.000 --> 0:09:24.559 they're just kind of like getting like all a nerve. 0:09:24.640 --> 0:09:27.199 You're like, it's just a TikTok video. 0:09:28.440 --> 0:09:41.840 You're like you're not trying to like short circuit him. 0:09:41.840 --> 0:09:44.800 What's the biggest takeaway that you've had after speaking to 0:09:44.840 --> 0:09:48.280 so many different men, Is there just like one continuous theme, 0:09:49.200 --> 0:09:51.400 like what is it that they are they're they're saying? 0:09:52.600 --> 0:09:56.600 Because there they are saying something. I heard it many times. 0:09:56.720 --> 0:10:01.720 I'm just wondering what are they angry? Are they just 0:10:01.840 --> 0:10:08.040 mad about being men? Are they lonely? 0:10:09.760 --> 0:10:10.200 Right? 0:10:12.400 --> 0:10:14.480 I think it's all of the above. 0:10:14.800 --> 0:10:18.640 I mean I think, yeah, I don't know where this 0:10:18.840 --> 0:10:23.080 like thing. I do think there's something to do with 0:10:23.160 --> 0:10:27.800 like the manosphere, like these men that have started podcasts 0:10:28.160 --> 0:10:31.960 talking about how they're mad at women for whatever, for 0:10:32.000 --> 0:10:34.199 not wanting to sleep with them, or because I think 0:10:34.720 --> 0:10:38.720 there is, you know, some entitlement that comes with being 0:10:38.840 --> 0:10:41.880 a man and living in a patriarchal society. 0:10:42.559 --> 0:10:44.080 And I think. 0:10:46.160 --> 0:10:54.240 To have their place being questioned is like it's really 0:10:54.320 --> 0:10:58.080 messing with some people that I think thought maybe it 0:10:58.120 --> 0:11:01.199 was going to be easier or that they should just 0:11:01.240 --> 0:11:03.679 like yeah, that that life should be easier and they 0:11:03.679 --> 0:11:07.679 should get things more than they are getting them. 0:11:08.840 --> 0:11:12.000 But I am always like confused when a guy's like 0:11:12.080 --> 0:11:14.040 men don't know their place anymore. I'm like what do 0:11:14.120 --> 0:11:14.400 you mean? 0:11:14.559 --> 0:11:18.480 Just like be like just so y'all, don't I know 0:11:18.679 --> 0:11:22.000 it's so hard, just like do your be cool? 0:11:22.640 --> 0:11:23.040 Just do you? 0:11:23.320 --> 0:11:25.400 Yeah, it's not about being men or women. 0:11:25.520 --> 0:11:28.960 It's just like about living your life, like why is 0:11:28.960 --> 0:11:30.240 there a place in society? 0:11:30.280 --> 0:11:32.319 But basically my whole. 0:11:32.160 --> 0:11:34.960 Point is I think that's kind of like a like 0:11:35.000 --> 0:11:38.960 a manisphere rhetoric is like men being confused by their place. 0:11:40.240 --> 0:11:42.800 It's like, man, do you think too? 0:11:42.840 --> 0:11:46.319 It's because like in the workplace they're now they're being 0:11:46.480 --> 0:11:50.040 challenged with you know, with women and with all these 0:11:50.080 --> 0:11:53.800 different variables. And then now like you're asking this like 0:11:54.000 --> 0:11:59.520 very this question that you know men men recognize themselves 0:11:59.600 --> 0:12:02.760 by the cars they drive, the work that they have, 0:12:03.080 --> 0:12:04.320 what's in their bank account. 0:12:04.800 --> 0:12:07.280 You know, that's how they identify themselves. So do you 0:12:07.280 --> 0:12:08.480 think that like you're just. 0:12:08.600 --> 0:12:11.640 Like who are you? And they're like what? 0:12:13.440 --> 0:12:13.640 Right? 0:12:13.920 --> 0:12:14.120 Right? 0:12:14.200 --> 0:12:16.880 They haven't. I mean a lot of but I don't 0:12:16.880 --> 0:12:18.120 think it's just men. It's people. 0:12:18.200 --> 0:12:21.880 Like a lot of people just aren't terribly introspective. So 0:12:21.960 --> 0:12:26.160 I think it like really throws someone off their game 0:12:26.240 --> 0:12:31.400 when you're like asking this very like open ended, kind 0:12:31.440 --> 0:12:36.480 of abstract question and maybe they're confused, and so that's 0:12:36.520 --> 0:12:40.840 like frustrating. They just go immediately to frustration and rage 0:12:40.840 --> 0:12:44.640 because they don't know how to answer it. But yeah, 0:12:44.679 --> 0:12:48.560 I think men do you know, so many people do 0:12:48.640 --> 0:12:51.760 define themselves sort of by their external world and what 0:12:51.800 --> 0:12:54.200 they have and how much money they have. 0:12:54.400 --> 0:13:00.319 And women, now are you know, we are we. 0:13:00.320 --> 0:13:02.360 Had to work harder to get to where we are 0:13:03.200 --> 0:13:06.679 and we are killing it. So I think that is 0:13:06.760 --> 0:13:09.480 like intimidating for some guys. 0:13:10.320 --> 0:13:11.319 I have a question to you this. 0:13:11.840 --> 0:13:17.360 There's this concept of the male loneliness epidemic. Like I'm like, 0:13:17.360 --> 0:13:19.480 wait a minute, wiremen alone, Like, what do you mean 0:13:19.520 --> 0:13:20.040 they're lonely? 0:13:20.240 --> 0:13:24.080 Go outside? Like you're the you're guy, you know, Like, yeah, 0:13:24.160 --> 0:13:25.680 talk to me about that. What are your thoughts on 0:13:25.720 --> 0:13:26.439 this epidemic. 0:13:26.960 --> 0:13:31.320 I think it's just like I think it's probably real 0:13:31.400 --> 0:13:32.120 among some men. 0:13:32.160 --> 0:13:33.000 I think a lot of men. 0:13:32.920 --> 0:13:35.280 Are lonely because they're just like they grew up just 0:13:35.320 --> 0:13:37.320 playing video games and they don't know how to like 0:13:37.400 --> 0:13:40.880 interact with other people, and they have just like poor 0:13:40.960 --> 0:13:45.320 social skills and they're spending all their time listening to 0:13:46.720 --> 0:13:50.560 you know, andrew utate instead of like going out into 0:13:50.600 --> 0:13:55.840 the world. And meeting people, and yeah, it's it's people 0:13:55.920 --> 0:13:58.920 not learning social skills. But I think people are lonely. 0:13:59.000 --> 0:14:04.400 I mean women are lonely too. Everyone's lonely. We are 0:14:04.440 --> 0:14:06.719 all having to learn how to live in this society 0:14:06.760 --> 0:14:09.400 where we're like more comfortable behind a computer screen. 0:14:10.120 --> 0:14:10.400 I know. 0:14:11.240 --> 0:14:14.120 And I think that's a direct correlation from COVID. We 0:14:14.120 --> 0:14:16.400 were alone, people were on their screens. 0:14:16.640 --> 0:14:17.800 Dating and apps are bigger. 0:14:18.080 --> 0:14:20.880 So this podcast is all about, you know, finding love 0:14:21.000 --> 0:14:22.000 in your chapter two? 0:14:22.600 --> 0:14:27.280 Yeah, do you think and do you think that women 0:14:28.280 --> 0:14:30.720 should be asking men out on a date? 0:14:32.200 --> 0:14:32.440 Yeah? 0:14:32.480 --> 0:14:34.960 I mean, yeah, I think I don't do that. 0:14:35.320 --> 0:14:44.200 Yeah, I mean I am in my forties, so I 0:14:44.240 --> 0:14:47.080 guess this could be considered chapter two. 0:14:47.360 --> 0:14:50.760 And I and well have you wait, have you been 0:14:50.760 --> 0:14:51.320 married before? 0:14:51.680 --> 0:14:56.280 I wasn't married, but you know I did have you know, 0:14:57.040 --> 0:14:59.760 a lot of life changes in my thirties and kind 0:14:59.760 --> 0:15:05.520 of to start over in my forties. And I ran 0:15:05.640 --> 0:15:07.480 up to my current boyfriend. 0:15:07.840 --> 0:15:11.840 But that's because I was doing interviews, So. 0:15:11.720 --> 0:15:14.480 It's really about me. 0:15:15.920 --> 0:15:17.160 Yeah, I was like, why. 0:15:16.960 --> 0:15:19.200 Are you like this? What do you think about wine? 0:15:19.800 --> 0:15:20.280 Do you like it? 0:15:20.600 --> 0:15:21.800 Do you like to have a class of wine with me? 0:15:21.880 --> 0:15:23.160 That would be hilarious if. 0:15:23.000 --> 0:15:28.360 You know your video. I wasn't hitting on him. 0:15:29.680 --> 0:15:31.880 He just ran up to him and were like, you're hot. 0:15:32.120 --> 0:15:36.760 But it really works. I do think so few women 0:15:36.960 --> 0:15:40.360 approach men that. Now that I have like a job 0:15:40.480 --> 0:15:43.440 where I approach men for a living, they love it. 0:15:43.760 --> 0:15:47.240 Men love being approached by a woman. I think so 0:15:47.360 --> 0:15:53.880 many men are so afraid even like you know, interesting, cool, successful, 0:15:54.040 --> 0:15:58.040 powerful men, it's really intimidating for them to like go 0:15:58.240 --> 0:16:01.320 up to a woman and talk to her. So women, 0:16:01.680 --> 0:16:03.960 if you want to go up to men, you. 0:16:04.000 --> 0:16:05.680 Can like they'll like it. 0:16:05.880 --> 0:16:09.400 No man is going to be like, What's I. 0:16:09.400 --> 0:16:12.760 Going to change the dynamic of the hunt, because like 0:16:12.960 --> 0:16:15.600 so many men talk to like, you know, when I 0:16:15.640 --> 0:16:17.640 talked to me, I mean, I'm just say on this podcast, 0:16:17.680 --> 0:16:20.280 and I talked to men a lot about dating as well, 0:16:21.640 --> 0:16:24.080 and on my new show, we're talking a lot about 0:16:24.080 --> 0:16:25.080 my dating journey. 0:16:25.640 --> 0:16:28.560 And I was in Palm Beach and it was absolutely hideous. 0:16:29.560 --> 0:16:33.760 These men are like, hello, be nice, be nice to 0:16:33.840 --> 0:16:37.680 me number one. Yeah, nice, Just be kind, Just be nice, 0:16:38.080 --> 0:16:42.320 Just be kind like this, questions, ask questions, Ask me 0:16:42.360 --> 0:16:45.840 how my day is, do you know? Just be kind, 0:16:45.880 --> 0:16:48.000 Just be nice, and I just I'm just like, really, 0:16:48.520 --> 0:16:49.800 I just would never ask. 0:16:49.880 --> 0:16:51.360 I mean, there were guys and I was like, oh god, 0:16:51.640 --> 0:16:52.160 is kind of cute. 0:16:52.160 --> 0:16:54.720 And I'm like, no, no, no, no, I'm not asked. 0:16:54.760 --> 0:16:55.160 Came out. 0:16:56.160 --> 0:17:01.400 Yeah, somebody just came on my show and she was 0:17:01.440 --> 0:17:06.119 saying that you should just like give a man like 0:17:06.280 --> 0:17:10.160 a look and that's how men should know that it's 0:17:10.200 --> 0:17:11.399 okay to come to you. 0:17:11.760 --> 0:17:13.760 And I like, so like, let's just a look. 0:17:13.840 --> 0:17:17.720 Ready, like's a world play, It's okay, what's what's your look? 0:17:18.240 --> 0:17:22.400 I looks like this, Okay. 0:17:22.119 --> 0:17:23.360 Ready for mine? Yeah? 0:17:23.480 --> 0:17:23.720 Mine? 0:17:23.920 --> 0:17:28.160 Like yeah, that's good. 0:17:29.119 --> 0:17:30.280 They always say touch your hair. 0:17:30.280 --> 0:17:32.360 If people are like your hair, I'm like, yes, I'm 0:17:32.359 --> 0:17:33.280 trying to trash men. 0:17:33.840 --> 0:17:36.320 You gotta like, yeah, like touch your mouth. 0:17:37.960 --> 0:17:41.280 And you just well you can be like yeah, then 0:17:41.320 --> 0:17:43.080 you start laughing, you giggle. 0:17:43.680 --> 0:17:45.520 Exactly, winking exactly, and then. 0:17:45.440 --> 0:17:47.439 The men know that it's okay to talk to you. 0:17:47.560 --> 0:17:50.640 But if you don't do that, So let's just. 0:17:50.720 --> 0:17:52.439 Let's just run through those because this is this is 0:17:52.440 --> 0:17:54.879 an audio podcast, and just tell me like, okay, so 0:17:55.040 --> 0:17:57.480 winking is good, touching your hair is good? 0:17:57.600 --> 0:17:58.240 What are yeah? 0:17:58.880 --> 0:18:01.280 So I kind of like, you know, you put your 0:18:01.440 --> 0:18:03.600 put your head down and you kind of like look 0:18:03.680 --> 0:18:04.840 up and you smile. 0:18:05.040 --> 0:18:09.000 You got a smile. People need to smile more, man, 0:18:09.080 --> 0:18:10.359 really a smile more. 0:18:10.440 --> 0:18:14.520 But smiling smiling is really really good. 0:18:14.600 --> 0:18:16.840 Okay, let's talk about red flags because I think the 0:18:16.880 --> 0:18:18.879 people think when they think of red flags, they think 0:18:18.920 --> 0:18:19.800 of them as pink. 0:18:20.560 --> 0:18:25.400 They're not pink, they're red. Red is red. Red is red? 0:18:25.880 --> 0:18:26.879 Yeah, red as red. 0:18:26.960 --> 0:18:28.760 But why would you even want to mess with a 0:18:28.800 --> 0:18:34.639 pink flag? Like, no flags, No flags are good unless 0:18:34.640 --> 0:18:35.080 it's green. 0:18:36.480 --> 0:18:38.520 I know, I'm like, what are they? 0:18:38.680 --> 0:18:38.760 Like? 0:18:39.080 --> 0:18:40.479 So what are some of the red flags that you've 0:18:40.520 --> 0:18:41.080 come across? 0:18:41.480 --> 0:18:42.320 Okay, so. 0:18:43.720 --> 0:18:49.920 Lying he was obvious, but you know so many people 0:18:49.960 --> 0:18:52.199 are like, oh I caught him in this little lie, Like, 0:18:52.600 --> 0:18:54.399 well then what else is he lying about? 0:18:54.960 --> 0:18:59.720 Right? Lying is not good, even like lying about age 0:18:59.760 --> 0:19:02.399 I think is really weird. 0:19:02.480 --> 0:19:05.840 Like I had a guy that I met on on 0:19:06.160 --> 0:19:08.480 Hinge a long time a while ago, a couple of 0:19:08.560 --> 0:19:13.320 years back, like lied about his age and then I 0:19:13.480 --> 0:19:17.080 like found out he was older, and he was like, well, 0:19:18.359 --> 0:19:19.880 he got defensive and he got. 0:19:19.680 --> 0:19:22.080 Mad at me when I called him out. Yeah, someone 0:19:22.160 --> 0:19:22.879 getting mad at you? 0:19:23.000 --> 0:19:28.119 Someone getting defensive defensive a red flag if anyone's like defensive. 0:19:27.600 --> 0:19:48.040 About anything, and I agree, I agree, Like nom. 0:19:41.800 --> 0:19:43.919 So what are like the positive things like that? 0:19:44.000 --> 0:19:47.199 You'll be like, oh, he's saying that he's kind, And 0:19:47.240 --> 0:19:49.600 then you're like, why is he saying that he's kind of? Like, 0:19:49.640 --> 0:19:52.240 give me some of the things that you've you've you've 0:19:52.280 --> 0:19:58.280 seen that like a petty positive but actually, and by 0:19:58.320 --> 0:19:59.639 the way, after this, I would have write down a 0:19:59.640 --> 0:20:00.000 whole list. 0:20:00.480 --> 0:20:07.440 Okay, I think if a guy says he's kind, that's weird. 0:20:07.840 --> 0:20:11.800 Why does he need to say it? Or like my dad, 0:20:11.920 --> 0:20:12.400 I think he. 0:20:12.320 --> 0:20:14.360 Gave me some advice when I was a little girl, 0:20:14.400 --> 0:20:17.239 and he said, never trust anyone who says trust me. 0:20:17.960 --> 0:20:20.960 And I'm like, you know, that's really true. 0:20:21.040 --> 0:20:24.239 Like if someone, especially if someone says that unprompted, you're like, 0:20:25.040 --> 0:20:26.520 why why are you saying that? 0:20:26.560 --> 0:20:27.919 Why are you asking me to trust you? 0:20:28.000 --> 0:20:31.200 Have you done anything when people try to tell you, oh, 0:20:31.240 --> 0:20:33.639 I'm this kind of person or I do this or 0:20:33.680 --> 0:20:35.040 I'm like this, like. 0:20:35.920 --> 0:20:38.960 No, no, no, just me just show me, like be it. 0:20:40.080 --> 0:20:44.119 I love that and consistently be it, consistently be it 0:20:44.200 --> 0:20:46.760 not just like oh I was nice once. No, no, no, 0:20:46.840 --> 0:20:49.320 it's it's it's an all the time kind of thing. 0:20:49.720 --> 0:20:53.440 Yeah. Consistency is so crucial. 0:20:54.320 --> 0:20:54.520 Yeah. 0:20:54.560 --> 0:20:58.000 If somebody like is a certain way and then they 0:20:58.080 --> 0:21:00.840 just like you see, like a glib or something like 0:21:01.080 --> 0:21:04.800 very opposite of what of what they're portraying themselves as 0:21:05.800 --> 0:21:08.719 run because they're just trying to hide something. 0:21:09.520 --> 0:21:11.480 Yeah. Yeah, I love that. 0:21:13.000 --> 0:21:17.560 I'm going to add cheating because cheaters are. 0:21:17.359 --> 0:21:17.960 Going to cheat. 0:21:19.080 --> 0:21:21.679 If they cheated once or if they have cheated in 0:21:21.720 --> 0:21:24.960 the past, they're going to cheat again. I mean even 0:21:25.000 --> 0:21:28.280 if they say they don't, they they will do things 0:21:28.320 --> 0:21:33.080 that they do not feel as qualifying actual cheating, like 0:21:33.200 --> 0:21:37.920 emotional relationships. You know, emotional relationships are not physical, YadA, YadA, YadA. 0:21:38.000 --> 0:21:39.600 But cheating is hard. 0:21:39.400 --> 0:21:45.440 Now yeah, hard now hard? No, Yeah, Or somebody being like. 0:21:47.119 --> 0:21:50.480 Being like cheap with you, like like anyone any guy 0:21:50.480 --> 0:21:54.680 who's like split the check like just no sorry. 0:21:54.480 --> 0:21:58.160 Or like oh my god, like literally when Palm Beach, 0:21:58.200 --> 0:22:00.159 I was but I went on a date with this 0:22:00.240 --> 0:22:04.000