Speaker 1: Okay, So first image is donkey fucking human Fiona.
Speaker 2: Oh no, not human Fiona, that's unnecessary. She's sheen am
Speaker 2: me no.
Speaker 3: May not my name? Yo yo yo?
Speaker 4: What is your childe?
Speaker 1: Rama?
Speaker 4: I am a cook?
Speaker 3: You know what's going down before us round.
Speaker 1: Welcome to Like a Virgin, the show where we give
Speaker 1: yesterday's pop culture, today's takes. I'm Ra's DomU, I'm fran Torodo,
Speaker 1: New York City Virgins, Tristed Area Virgins, Virgins with frequent
Speaker 1: flyer miles. We have some very exciting news for you.
Speaker 1: We are doing we are doing another pride show. Oh
Speaker 1: this year in New York City. We're doing a pride
Speaker 1: show for June, for pride. Did you know it's pride?
Speaker 3: Did you wait? Is it for pride? It is for pride?
Speaker 3: Do you feel this pride?
Speaker 1: I feel proud in the biblical sense, like I have
Speaker 1: a lot of pride, and it's sinful.
Speaker 3: I see is that a thing? I don't know if
Speaker 3: that's a thing.
Speaker 1: It's out of the seven deadly sins.
Speaker 2: But let me tell you what can rose? What can
Speaker 2: the girls expect to see if they come and see
Speaker 2: us at the Bellhouse, Because this is a one night
Speaker 2: only thing, and we are only doing this except we'll
Speaker 2: probably do it again next year it again, Yes, well
Speaker 2: that's a thing. It's like we're only doing it, like
Speaker 2: you know, every now and then, so you only have
Speaker 2: a few opportunities to see us.
Speaker 3: What can they.
Speaker 1: Expect, Well, the girlies can expect to see us waring
Speaker 1: what I'm sure to be our incredible looks. Yes, they
Speaker 1: can expect to see producer Phoebe, who will be in town.
Speaker 1: They can expect to see a special guests doing various
Speaker 1: things upon the stage.
Speaker 2: Yes, surprise performances maybe. Yes, we will be having slide
Speaker 2: shows and interactive materials perhaps.
Speaker 1: Yes, we will be maybe commentating over some piece of
Speaker 1: media and giving our thoughts and opinions on.
Speaker 3: It, and also things that aren't that.
Speaker 2: We have a little bit of a cabaret plan and
Speaker 2: you will gag at the programming.
Speaker 1: So our Like a Virgin Live Pride Spectacular is taking
Speaker 1: place on June twenty sixth at the Bellhouse in Brooklyn.
Speaker 1: The show is at seven pm and you can buy
Speaker 1: tickets now at the Bellhouse and why dot com. That
Speaker 1: is the Bellhouse and why dot Com. So put it
Speaker 1: on your calendar and we'll see you.
Speaker 2: There also the posters on our Instagram, so please share it, like,
Speaker 2: bring your friends, bring your ex'es, bring your booze, Like,
Speaker 2: let's make it another episode of the Ultimate. And this
Speaker 2: is I guess, our first in situ Pride Month output
Speaker 2: because everything else you've heard so far.
Speaker 1: This June was pre recorded, so you know, quote unquote
Speaker 1: happy Pride Month, everybody.
Speaker 3: Let's start right here right now.
Speaker 2: Like a Virgin is celebrating by launching exclusive merchandise, which
Speaker 2: was actually so fun to do. We have if you
Speaker 2: haven't checked in on our Instagram lately, at like a
Speaker 2: Virgin for twenty sixty nine, we have released our ezros.
Speaker 2: Calls it a summer collection or I think that was
Speaker 2: your idea.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's our it's our Pride drop and you can
Speaker 1: buy it exclusively at like a Virgin four twenty sixty
Speaker 1: nine dot com. There are T.
Speaker 3: Shirts, hats, tope bags, hoodies.
Speaker 1: You know, if you're gonna be going to the parade
Speaker 1: or to the rave or whatever this June, why not
Speaker 1: do it while also repping your favorite podcast and giving
Speaker 1: other smart hot people the chance to say, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I listened to that podcast too. Yes, I mean, what's fuck.
Speaker 2: The designs like Rose and I brainstorming on the designs
Speaker 2: was like endless fun. We you know, use like wiki
Speaker 2: comments to find like royalty free slash public domain, like
Speaker 2: classic neoclassic art and mythology like imagery to put like
Speaker 2: gay phrases on top of. And you know, anything that's
Speaker 2: on the story you can probably find in different colors
Speaker 2: or as a tank top or as a crew neck
Speaker 2: or as a toe. So you know, get it, get
Speaker 2: into it. We were your pride. We we're doing it,
Speaker 2: yes exactly. We had so much fun doing the shoot.
Speaker 2: We like somehow booked so many of our friends to
Speaker 2: come and just model the teas and I styled them out.
Speaker 2: I think I asked, honestly, a lot of models, assuming
Speaker 2: that a lot of people would say it would like
Speaker 2: flake or not have time, and then everybody said yes.
Speaker 3: So thank you to all our friends for showing up
Speaker 3: and having a fun day with us.
Speaker 2: Rose fran you, I was just going to say a
Speaker 2: Rose head strap. Yes, it was devastating, couldn't be there.
Speaker 1: It's been a rough June so far. But you know what,
Speaker 1: I'm so excited about. I'm not gonna lie. I'm not
Speaker 1: excited about Pride. I actually actually last week my friend
Speaker 1: Ryan and I booked a cabin upstate for Pride weekend
Speaker 1: so that we could escape the city.
Speaker 3: And we're here.
Speaker 2: That's so nice now, that is how you Pride period,
Speaker 2: exactly escape.
Speaker 1: Yes, I want to be as far from New York
Speaker 1: City and all parades, parties, panels as possible.
Speaker 3: Wow, there was a lot of alliteration in that sentence,
Speaker 3: so much.
Speaker 2: I also escaped the very first days of Pride month by,
Speaker 2: you know, hopping over to London Town just over the
Speaker 2: pond to see one Beyonce and Rose like do you believe?
Speaker 2: Honestly very welcoming. The majority of the people that I
Speaker 2: did hang out with ended up being trans, and I
Speaker 2: went to like some cool gay parties. I went to
Speaker 2: like a drag show while I was out there, British.
Speaker 1: Rad you go.
Speaker 2: I went to Admiral Dance. I went out with a
Speaker 2: friend and I specifically asked. I was like, show me
Speaker 2: quintessential British drag, like down and dirty, sticky floors like
Speaker 2: dive bar drag, and they delivered with Admiral Dance. Girl, Rose,
Speaker 2: have you ever seen British drag? It's like so bad?
Speaker 2: And they know, like it's bad, like they love it.
Speaker 2: They like the drag bad like they like drag with
Speaker 2: like lace showing lash falling off like mug yeah, mug dirty,
Speaker 2: like singing off key, always singing live, like making jokes
Speaker 2: about foreskin. I was, honestly like when I went into
Speaker 2: Admiral Dance, I was immediately, you know, made fun of
Speaker 2: which I kind of loved. I just entered with a
Speaker 2: group and I don't know why the Queen started picking
Speaker 2: on us, and then she started out, I hate heckling.
Speaker 2: There was so much heckling. That's also a very British
Speaker 2: drag thing, I'm pretty sure. But she started heckling me
Speaker 2: and then asking me about my foreskin because I guess
Speaker 2: all Americans are circumcised or something like that. And I
Speaker 2: was like, do Brits not do circumcision? Is that a thing?
Speaker 1: I think? I think not.
Speaker 3: It's really only in America that we do the very bizarre,
Speaker 3: the very.
Speaker 1: The genital mutilations on children. Yes, yeah, I mean I
Speaker 1: have an excuse because I'm Jewish. Yeah, I don't know,
Speaker 1: you're you're my culture is my penis is not a well.
Speaker 2: I the queen like when she she was just like
Speaker 2: she was like, what are you coming over?
Speaker 3: You have a full skin of what? And I was like,
Speaker 3: well I have I like really amazing British ac man.
Speaker 3: So yeah, coming with a poem for some fool skin.
Speaker 1: That's even better.
Speaker 2: And I said I said no, because I have it.
Speaker 2: And she was like, well you have it? Well, I
Speaker 2: thought you were American and I was like, well, I'm
Speaker 2: Latin American.
Speaker 3: So that's my excuse.
Speaker 2: I'm really glad that I am not generally generally mutilated,
Speaker 2: and I don't think that we as a society should
Speaker 2: be circumcising people.
Speaker 3: But that's another conversation.
Speaker 2: So so you saw Beyonce Randon the reason we were
Speaker 2: talking about London the first place.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I did. Beyonce also huckle the crowd and asked
Speaker 1: about their full skin.
Speaker 2: Yeah she did. That was how she actually kicked off
Speaker 2: her Monday tour. Yeah, her five dayst in London started
Speaker 2: with foreskin jokes.
Speaker 3: It was amazing.
Speaker 2: I will not spoil the concert about spoiler, Well, I'm
Speaker 2: I'm most I'm talking to the versions, but.
Speaker 1: This is this is half my podcast, and I want
Speaker 1: spoilers because I want to.
Speaker 3: Know well more.
Speaker 2: So, like it's really difficult to like summarize and describe
Speaker 2: like what Beyonce did on stage because it was so
Speaker 2: sublime and unnameable and indescribable. But I will say it
Speaker 2: is probably the best live performance I have seen in
Speaker 2: my life and will ever see. And I'm very biased
Speaker 2: because Beyonce is my queen and I had never seen
Speaker 2: her before and this is probably my favorite album she's
Speaker 2: ever released. But I thought, just like the creative, the visuals,
Speaker 2: the fashion where one hundred percent on point she is
Speaker 2: changing costumes and fashion from different tour stops, which I
Speaker 2: think is oh so incredible. Like I thought I was
Speaker 2: going to see repeat from what I saw teasers of online,
Speaker 2: and we got new shit. She did an Amaze Turner
Speaker 2: tribute that was like not from previous shows, and I
Speaker 2: loved that in place of like her cover of Mary
Speaker 2: j Obliges I'm Going Down, which I would have loved
Speaker 2: as well. But all around, like she's just the greatest
Speaker 2: living performer of our generation, like period, Like I am
Speaker 2: like such a little Beehive member, and like I'm not
Speaker 2: ashamed to say that if anybody has a chance to
Speaker 2: see Beyonce in any city in any capacity, I know
Speaker 2: I'm crazy for.
Speaker 3: Going to London to do it.
Speaker 2: But I did work through the numbers and I did
Speaker 2: want to see her with really good seats, and this
Speaker 2: was the way I could do it, so, which is
Speaker 2: by you know, going into credit card a little bit,
Speaker 2: but that's fine.
Speaker 1: We also did escape the nightmare that I will experience
Speaker 1: going to the MetLife Stadium in late July.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not looking forward to that, but
Speaker 2: I am looking forward to seeing her.
Speaker 1: I'm very excited. I also saw a concert recently, although
Speaker 1: it was not quite Beyonce.
Speaker 2: No, Natalie Merchant is pretty much the same. So I
Speaker 2: actually have no idea who this is. Will you describe, okay, Virgin, So.
Speaker 1: Natalie Merchant is a sort of iconic nineties singer songwriter diva.
Speaker 1: She's very Lilith Fair vibe, like I think she like
Speaker 1: literally performed at Lilith Fair. She started out in the
Speaker 1: band ten Thousand Maniacs. She has this really famous nineties
Speaker 1: album called Tiger Lily, and I grew up listening to
Speaker 1: her because my mom loved her, and also my older
Speaker 1: brother is obsessed with her. He's seen her like one
Speaker 1: hundred times or something. That's probably not even an exaggeration.
Speaker 1: And she she did two nights at Alice Tully Hall
Speaker 1: at Lincoln Center, and he bought tickets for both of them,
Speaker 1: and so I went with him one of the nights
Speaker 1: and it was a really lovely experience to share. She
Speaker 1: was amazing. Her voice was so incredible. I will say,
Speaker 1: I don't know a ton of her music outside of
Speaker 1: Tiger Lily, so it was it was a seeded concert,
Speaker 1: and so the first half before the intermission, a lot
Speaker 1: of the songs did kind of blend into each other
Speaker 1: and it was a little boring at times, although like
Speaker 1: still really great. And then in the second set she
Speaker 1: did more of her hits and songs she's well known for.
Speaker 1: It was also the whitest concert I've ever been to,
Speaker 1: like very much the vibe of you know, those running
Speaker 1: sneakers with the individual toes. It was like that was
Speaker 1: the vibe of the concert. And also big mother and
Speaker 1: her gay son energy.
Speaker 2: Okay, I feel like I understand it completely now. Yes,
Speaker 2: so you were the mother and your brother was your
Speaker 2: gay son.
Speaker 1: Was a gay son? Yeah, kind of I.
Speaker 2: Speaking of you know, so classic legendary Caucasian Americana songstresses.
Speaker 3: I'm seeing Joni Mitchell this weekend.
Speaker 1: What where?
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I didn't tell you this. So in December,
Speaker 2: Justin gifted me and my bestie Ben Wagner tickets to
Speaker 2: see Joni Mitchell in Seattle, which will be her first
Speaker 2: live performance in twenty years live concert rather and probably
Speaker 2: her last. Like it is, like, I don't know what's
Speaker 2: gonna happen. I have no idea what to expect. She
Speaker 2: is doing this with Brandy cart Well.
Speaker 1: One thing you can expect is her hair is going
Speaker 1: to be in those long ass a girl from Matilda braids.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, that's all we hope.
Speaker 2: I hope she's in a cute little fit like I
Speaker 2: hope she's wearing like a beret and like you know,
Speaker 2: has sunglasses on or something like, Oh.
Speaker 1: My god, that's so amazing. I'm so excited for you.
Speaker 2: I'm also extremely jealous, I honestly. Okay, so here this
Speaker 2: will make you less jealous. It's in a venue where
Speaker 2: you have to camp.
Speaker 1: Okay, I'm not jealous. No, although no, you know, I
Speaker 1: love but I do. I do love camping, but not
Speaker 1: to go to a concert.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, I'm like, honestly not totally sure on
Speaker 2: the details, but I do know that we have to
Speaker 2: like rent a campsite, camp equipment, like all this different
Speaker 2: stuff because it's a you know, non conventional kind of
Speaker 2: like outdoor zy like woodstocky venue, and uh yeah, I
Speaker 2: don't I don't know what to expect. I honestly like
Speaker 2: I am not emotionally or physically prepared for this trip. I
Speaker 2: wasn't planning on Beyonce and then that happened. Now Jonny
Speaker 2: Mitchell's happening, and like I just feel like such a
Speaker 2: like pride stupid stan going like flying to you sell.
Speaker 1: It's worth it. It's worth it for the experience, and
Speaker 1: I can't wait to hear all about it. Speaking of
Speaker 1: camping and lesbians, I heard a rumor, which was from
Speaker 1: your mouth before we started recording, that you watched some
Speaker 1: of the new Queer season of The Ultimatum on Netflix.
Speaker 3: Yes, I have, per your recommendation.
Speaker 1: Per per my order.
Speaker 2: Basically, well, I really wanted to watch it, and we
Speaker 2: wanted something to talk about today, So I feel like, yeah,
Speaker 2: like I knew I was going to watch it eventually
Speaker 2: because I'm just waiting for something to satiate the kind
Speaker 2: of like sky high I felt when I watched Are
Speaker 2: You The One? Season eight which we did an episode
Speaker 2: on with Honey bluetone ages ago. You should go listen.
Speaker 2: It's like, actually one of our funniest episodes. But I
Speaker 2: watched the first episode. I have some thoughts, but I
Speaker 2: first want to hear from your mouth, your impression of
Speaker 2: the show. What you what you think it's doing, and
Speaker 2: I'm okay, I like spoil it away if you wish.
Speaker 1: Okay. So I think I watched the first season of
Speaker 1: the Ultimatum, and I don't remember the straight one, and
Speaker 1: I don't remember it being especially amazing. The queer version.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I am so entertained by these lesbians
Speaker 1: and how much they all seemingly hate each other, hate
Speaker 1: their partners, hate, hate their new partners, hate everyone. One
Speaker 1: of my favorite moments was when the host Joanna whatever
Speaker 1: from REBA walks in and someone is like, oh, are
Speaker 1: you queer? And she goes, no, I'm not, and then
Speaker 1: they just move on.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you could tell that whoever produced like was like,
Speaker 2: we really need to get this out of the way,
Speaker 2: and I was like, actually, it would have been way
Speaker 2: better if you just didn't acknowledge that. I also say
Speaker 2: when she I wasn't, I was like watching it while
Speaker 2: I was answering emails, and when she walked on, I
Speaker 2: caught in the glimpse of my eye the host, and
Speaker 2: I was like, I thought it was Krishelle.
Speaker 1: It should have been Krishell. I don't know why it wasn't.
Speaker 1: I don't know why it wasn't Kreshelle.
Speaker 2: Ever went out to her, I bet Krishelle didn't really
Speaker 2: want to be like a voice for the queer.
Speaker 1: No, she would have done it.
Speaker 2: She would have done it well, yes, but also like
Speaker 2: she has on the okay, sorry, just slight, little teeny
Speaker 2: tiny tangent on this most recent season of Selling Sunset,
Speaker 2: which of us.
Speaker 1: Why niko tiny, Let's talk about.
Speaker 2: Pause on ultimatum, Let's talk about Selling Sunset. This season
Speaker 2: phenomenon was amazing, amazing. Chrishelle does not. I think she
Speaker 2: kind of said, in not so many words, actually, in
Speaker 2: a lot of words, she said, I don't identify as
Speaker 2: queer basically, which is awesome and cool and good for you,
Speaker 2: like love.
Speaker 3: Is love, But like she's she should be gay, she
Speaker 3: should be a gay girl.
Speaker 1: I thought what you took from that, I thought it
Speaker 1: was more that she's just like, it's not interested in
Speaker 1: putting the label on herself.
Speaker 2: I I think I think that's a very I think
Speaker 2: that's a really diplomatic way of saying I don't want
Speaker 2: to identify as queer on the lgb I mean, she
Speaker 2: probably identifies like on the LGBTQ spectrum, like at most.
Speaker 3: But I felt like, which is fine.
Speaker 2: I feel like, when you're in public and you're doing
Speaker 2: this thing for the first time in your life, like
Speaker 2: you don't want to give everything to the public. So
Speaker 2: I'm like glad that she's protecting that for herself. But
Speaker 2: I was also just like, you would be so happy
Speaker 2: as a gay woman, and.
Speaker 1: Like, I feel like she's but maybe she's not gay.
Speaker 1: I mean, she clearly is attracted to men.
Speaker 2: Yes, that's true, she's probably by. She's probably by.
Speaker 1: I mean, she's whatever she is. She's in a relationship
Speaker 1: with them. What did you think of GF a Fab
Speaker 1: nine non binary person. When I think of g flip,
Speaker 1: I was sound like a kangaroo. Yes, I was surprised
Speaker 1: they weren't on more of the season because I felt
Speaker 1: like they hyped that relationship up so much. But I
Speaker 1: loved them together. I loved their like they're like energy.
Speaker 1: They were giving me very much. Nicole Kidman and Keith
Speaker 1: Urban vibes.
Speaker 2: They're just so into each other basic and well basic
Speaker 2: sounds derogatory, like what's a fun?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 3: It just feels so sweet and simple.
Speaker 1: Well, they're just obsessed with each other. And I'm sure
Speaker 1: they have incredible sex. G flip was I didn't realize
Speaker 1: that they looked like that. I would. I would definitely
Speaker 1: like watch their sex tape. Yes, it would be really hot.
Speaker 1: Chrishelle is so hot, and it seemed like they just
Speaker 1: have a lot of fun together. And also they probably
Speaker 1: understand how amazing this relationship is for their individual public profiles,
Speaker 1: so of course they're going all in on it. Like,
Speaker 1: I don't think those things are have to be mutually exclusive.
Speaker 1: I think they can beat really into each other and
Speaker 1: have great chemistry and be in love and also realize
Speaker 1: that being in this relationship will help make them more famous.
Speaker 3: Yes, I agree, and that's that's totally fine.
Speaker 4: Slash.
Speaker 2: We want it. I want to consume it. I also
Speaker 2: wish that there was more g on this season. I
Speaker 2: also have never really been much of a Chrischelle stand
Speaker 2: when I like put up my little bracket for selling
Speaker 2: Sunset cast members like Chrischelle I think like from the
Speaker 2: first season, I felt like was a little timid or
Speaker 2: a little too aware of the camera or a little
Speaker 2: too like m not in not really like going for
Speaker 2: it when she got into certain conflicts and arguments. And
Speaker 2: this season, I feel like Krishelle because she's so come
Speaker 2: into her own and understand that. Also because Christine left, yes,
Speaker 2: and also because Christine left, which I think the show
Speaker 2: is better for it. I was worried about what happened,
Speaker 2: but Chelsea is an amazing villain and I'm enjoying it.
Speaker 2: And and Nicole and Nicole also an amazing Oh my god, what.
Speaker 1: Nicole is Nicole like really did what she had to
Speaker 1: do with creating drama.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah.
Speaker 1: That being that being said, she is a huge loser
Speaker 1: megaflop doo doocoka and I am a thousand.
Speaker 3: Team Krishelle people.
Speaker 2: I'm also Team Krishelle anybody that looks I'm Team Krishelle
Speaker 2: in the Krishelle Versus Nicole drama. Although Nicole is really
Speaker 2: good at reality TV, I had no idea that the
Speaker 2: bald guy Jason has dated three members of the office
Speaker 2: and has I know it's so, it's so.
Speaker 1: Someone needs to call HR. But as they said multiple times,
Speaker 1: they don't have HR I can't.
Speaker 2: And not just that, but like for Jason to say
Speaker 2: not just that he's dated, like he's had three significant
Speaker 2: relationships with his employees, but that those three employees still
Speaker 2: work at Oppenheim and are the quote unquote three greatest
Speaker 2: loves of his life.
Speaker 3: Like he said that hold each other.
Speaker 2: Yes, he's only been in love three times and it's
Speaker 2: with these three women and they all work in the
Speaker 2: same office together and he's their boss.
Speaker 1: What Oh, did you hear that he and Mary Mary
Speaker 1: Lou broke up? This has happened recently.
Speaker 3: I did not hear this, but I mean, I can't
Speaker 3: say I'm surprised.
Speaker 1: I did see someone tweet a picture of them and
Speaker 1: say they were giving tea for TEA couple.
Speaker 3: Too obvious, low hanging fruit, low hanging fruit.
Speaker 1: But you know, look when it's right, when it's when
Speaker 1: it's right, it's right.
Speaker 2: She's like a foot and a half taller than him.
Speaker 2: I mean, anybody that dates him is going to be
Speaker 2: a foot and a half taller than him.
Speaker 1: I especially considering the heels they wear, the way those
Speaker 1: women dress up like they are in District one and
Speaker 1: the Capital of the Hunger Games. To go show a
Speaker 1: house to a to a billionaire wearing like a Henley Is.
Speaker 1: It's so insane, but I love it so much. They
Speaker 1: are just not living in reality because the thing is, like,
Speaker 1: people don't dress like that in Los Angeles. You and I,
Speaker 1: as now former Los Angelinos, know that people don't don't
Speaker 1: walk around LA looking like that. They walk around LA
Speaker 1: in like bike bike shorts and sweatpants and sports bras.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I love the fashion on selling Sunset, but it's not
Speaker 2: quote unquote fashion like TM fashion. Like it's like really
Speaker 2: like a lot of it is like really tasteless, like
Speaker 2: really bad, but really like expensive, like it looks expensive,
Speaker 2: which I kind of it's.
Speaker 1: Very it's very first thought. It's like it's like whatever
Speaker 1: the stylists that they're paying for out of pocket just
Speaker 1: pulled directly off the runway. Like it's not like they're
Speaker 1: wearing like archival stuff and no, no, it's just it's
Speaker 1: just like a lot of like Balenciaga and you know, yeah,
Speaker 1: but they look great. I mean they're all so hot
Speaker 1: and skinny and terrifying. I liked the new editions. I
Speaker 1: wish there had been more Divina that one line where
Speaker 1: they were like, where's Davino. Oh, she's a burning man.
Speaker 4: Oh.
Speaker 1: I almost rolled off my couch. I was laughing so hard. God,
Speaker 1: that was so funny.
Speaker 2: I mean, if they were allowed to record and sign
Speaker 2: inside Burningham, I would have loved Burningham, Birmingham.
Speaker 3: I'm back to London. Sorry, it just keeps slipping out.
Speaker 1: Let's let's go back to the ultimatum. Because we didn't
Speaker 1: really talk about him much. Okay, so you know you
Speaker 1: still have a lot more to go. But I will
Speaker 1: say from the beginning, I think it doesn't happen until
Speaker 1: episode two that the main like schism of the season happens,
Speaker 1: which is that Lexi hates Vanessa and sort of gets
Speaker 1: all of all of the other cast mates on the
Speaker 1: show to hate her in tandem. But Lexi, I just
Speaker 1: want you, as you go ahead and keep watching, to
Speaker 1: understand that Lexi is actually the one being crazy and
Speaker 1: Vanessa like Vanessa like is very annoying, but that's it.
Speaker 1: She's not some like evil mastermind and it's like so
Speaker 1: just obnoxious the way she talks about her. Also, I
Speaker 1: feel like half of the people on the show will
Speaker 1: be on Tea this time next year as soon as
Speaker 1: I saw Xander wearing that bow tie to dinner one night,
Speaker 1: I was like, was like that meme of that dog going,
Speaker 1: I know what you are, I.
Speaker 2: Know what you are, and we love it. And I
Speaker 2: want to watch the season two of that where they've
Speaker 2: all transitioned or.
Speaker 1: And yeah, and like I will be in love with.
Speaker 2: It would make the show hotter, way more chaotic, way
Speaker 2: more dramatic.
Speaker 3: I'm signed up and it's already.
Speaker 1: It's already both of those things, and as you will
Speaker 1: see as the show goes on, like there is just
Speaker 1: something I mean, we talked about this when we talked
Speaker 1: about are you the one? There is just something inherent
Speaker 1: to the way that queer people react interpersonally and like
Speaker 1: and also a love within seconds within seconds second and
Speaker 1: the way that I mean some of it is annoying,
Speaker 1: like the amount of times people have said, like you
Speaker 1: didn't show up for me, talk about trauma.
Speaker 3: Communication therapy like.
Speaker 1: Processing, it does. It does get exhausting after WI. But
Speaker 1: these women plus because that's what I'll say, because I
Speaker 1: don't in a plus they all identify as women. They
Speaker 1: really just go there and it in a way that
Speaker 1: just straight people on reality dating shows don't.
Speaker 2: I already love the show. I'm gonna watch every single
Speaker 2: episode just on the conceit, like we'll talk about this,
Speaker 2: you will probably talk about it more, but like at
Speaker 2: an on another episode. But like just like con see
Speaker 2: of the show is crazy, like it is an unhinged
Speaker 2: like narrative conceit for like a reality show, and like
Speaker 2: for them to arrive at this show, you know, quote
Speaker 2: unquote in a relationship, which I think it's kind of crazy.
Speaker 2: Like I feel like all of these girls like broke
Speaker 2: up before the show and they were like, let's figure
Speaker 2: out how to make money off of this or something.
Speaker 1: I love that conspiracy theory.
Speaker 2: I I yeah, I don't know, I don't know. Maybe
Speaker 2: maybe not, maybe not, but I again, only one episode in.
Speaker 1: I just feel it's a show that was It's a
Speaker 1: show that was so perfectly conceptualized for lesbians because it's like,
Speaker 1: come here, break up with the person you've been dating,
Speaker 1: immediately start dating someone else, and move in with them
Speaker 1: for three weeks, then go back to your ex, and
Speaker 1: then decide which one you want to be with.
Speaker 3: Like that was made for wlw's.
Speaker 2: It's wl w's.
Speaker 3: I'm excited. I'm really excited.
Speaker 1: It's like you should be, you should be. You know
Speaker 1: what I'm excited for is for the virgins to listen
Speaker 1: to our discussion all about Shrek with our guest today,
Speaker 1: Laurel Charleston.
Speaker 2: Oh oh, Laurel Charleston is a celebrity makeup artist. She
Speaker 2: is a social media tycoon, if we can even call
Speaker 2: her that, one of my besties and one of the
Speaker 2: funniest people I know. This was such a fun little
Speaker 2: conbo to do because you know, you.
Speaker 3: Know, you're an all star. Get your game month, go play.
Speaker 2: We've been having quite a few little viewing parties with Laurel.
Speaker 2: We did also do a Patreon app with her on
Speaker 2: Mulin Rouge, which will be coming out at some point.
Speaker 1: So speaking of Patreon, yes, I was just about both
Speaker 1: Frand and I saw the new live action Little Mermaid
Speaker 1: and we talked about it on Patreon. So if you
Speaker 1: want to hear about that, you can go to patreon
Speaker 1: dot com slash like a Virgin and subscribe and get
Speaker 1: all the juicy tons. Okay, who is the Shrek of
Speaker 1: the podcast? Who is the donkey?
Speaker 2: That's easy? That's so easy, Rose, what's good? I mean, Laurel,
Speaker 2: what's the correct answer.
Speaker 3: Okay me, Laurel, do.
Speaker 4: You want me to call someone a donkey?
Speaker 3: And you know we just watched this for the Virgins,
Speaker 3: we watched Trek two together.
Speaker 4: I'm so sorry. Rose is the main character and is
Speaker 4: wearing green and fran You are the chaotic donkey who
Speaker 4: you know we might be taking a five minute uber,
Speaker 4: but you're still gonna be asking us every second if
Speaker 4: we're there.
Speaker 2: Yes, let me tell you that's the correct answer. I
Speaker 2: am always, always, always the annoying sidekick. I am the
Speaker 2: scuttle to the little mermaid. I am the Lazo to
Speaker 2: the lion king.
Speaker 1: You're not your Sebastian because you're the anxious one who
Speaker 1: wants to follow the.
Speaker 2: Rules, that wants to that wants to snitch. I always,
Speaker 2: I'm always.
Speaker 3: You're actually not a rule follower, you're a rule breaker,
Speaker 3: but you're still a snitch. I'm still a snitch.
Speaker 2: I'm still a snitch where I need to be where
Speaker 2: conveniences and benefits and protects me, which is you.
Speaker 4: Would say you identified more with a donkey and not
Speaker 4: even like a Puss in boots scenario.
Speaker 2: Puss in boots I wish I could pull off. I mean,
Speaker 2: we would all love to be puss in boots, but
Speaker 2: I'm just simply not puss in boots.
Speaker 1: Right.
Speaker 3: No, A few people are what about the dragon? Dragon
Speaker 3: is is kind of that's that's it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I means, let's let's talk about the facts that. Okay, Donkey,
Speaker 1: Donkey and Dragon are a tea for tea couple. This
Speaker 1: is this is can this is canon, this is factual.
Speaker 1: It is what it is.
Speaker 4: That is a six foot four trans woman I'm.
Speaker 1: Sorry, six with her shi yeah, six ft five with
Speaker 1: her with her trans mask, three years on tea boyfriend yeah,
Speaker 1: six who who tattoos for a living. Yeah, and the
Speaker 1: and the boyfriend wears cyrus just so that they can
Speaker 1: kiss at the club. Now the boyfriend wears like boyfriend's
Speaker 1: kind of got like hype beast vibes, and he wears
Speaker 1: like Rick Owens sneakers, Yeah, but with urban outfitters geens. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 2: And then that means the doll is in CEO's, which
Speaker 2: means that she's no, she has she's buying more expensive
Speaker 2: shoes than CEO's. The Dragon, Okay, there's lots of gold.
Speaker 2: Some girls like me don't have sizing inexpensive shoes, so
Speaker 2: thank you. For flaunting your tiny, tiny, feminine my sis feet,
Speaker 2: your sis gender feet.
Speaker 1: I know I wear I do wear an EU size
Speaker 1: forty one, which means I can fit into most luxury brands.
Speaker 3: Laurel and I am so mad?
Speaker 4: Are you mad at you? We have transgender feed so anyway,
Speaker 4: trans from the ankle up.
Speaker 1: Exactly, well, from the ankle out, and then from the
Speaker 1: wrists up because I kind of have ciss hands too,
Speaker 1: They're very small.
Speaker 4: Damn you bitch. Oh you fucking bitch. I'm gonna get
Speaker 4: you and your sis hands.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, So Shrek.
Speaker 2: So, Laurel and I watched Shrek too, and at the
Speaker 2: end of Shrek two, the dragon comes back into the
Speaker 2: picture with dragon donkey babies, which the question, yes, how
Speaker 2: do they fuck? And is donkey the and that makes
Speaker 2: donkey the No, no, no, Donkey's the bottom. Donkey's for sure
Speaker 2: the bottom, and carry the babies carries the scenario yes, yes, absolutely, okay.
Speaker 1: Thank you? Yeah, okay, So we're getting pretty These are
Speaker 1: pretty advanced questions, so I think we should rewind a
Speaker 1: little bit back to the beginning. Shrek The Shrek. So
Speaker 1: Shrek is a two thousand and one film that was
Speaker 1: like not it was dream Works, it was not Disney famous,
Speaker 1: and it was I think like around this time specifically,
Speaker 1: there were a lot of animated movies that were like
Speaker 1: four Kids, but that were also kind of for adults
Speaker 1: or like the adults really liked because there was a
Speaker 1: lot of hidden adult humor. And then also you know
Speaker 1: famous actors playing the characters, like you know, with Shrek
Speaker 1: you have Mike Myers, Eddie Murphy, Cameron Diaz, who.
Speaker 4: WA's mother, Cameron Diaz.
Speaker 3: Cameron Diaz is Fiona.
Speaker 2: Laurels gagged, right, yeah, gag one of honestly, some of
Speaker 2: her best work, yeah him blessed. Okay, wow, some of
Speaker 2: Eddie too as well.
Speaker 3: Eddie Murphy on like the Voice of the Devil, I mean.
Speaker 1: And some of Mike Myers's best work. I mean, Mike
Speaker 1: Myers is a king in some ways, and he gives
Speaker 1: me chaser vibes, do you think es?
Speaker 3: So does Eddie Murphy kind of Eddie Murphy.
Speaker 4: I could see Eddie Murphy maybe a little a little
Speaker 4: chase here and there.
Speaker 1: I mean, Shrek is Shrek as a franchise is very
Speaker 1: trans Okay, go on, no you go no, hold on, no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: and I'm passing the potato. No, no, no, no, wait
Speaker 1: wait a second, yes, so chanced. You literally have the
Speaker 1: wolf who's literally called.
Speaker 4: Like a gender queer wolf verbatim. In the second movie,
Speaker 4: you have, uh, there's a woman. Oh ohaie stepsister?
Speaker 1: Oh the ugly stepsisters are clocky tea shop?
Speaker 4: Yes, hello, you know I've never felt seen and validated
Speaker 4: in cinema before, and that very exact moment.
Speaker 2: She literally is a bartender ANDed mood ring for sure.
Speaker 1: Like let's say, you know, Shrek one laid the foundation,
Speaker 1: but Shrek two is the moment I now, come on. Now,
Speaker 1: Only until Laurel and I watched it did I realize
Speaker 1: and agree that that Yes, like obviously the first Shrek
Speaker 1: was such a cultural moment, and like because we had
Speaker 1: never seen anything like it before, it has that that
Speaker 1: you know, that aha moment value. But like Shrek two
Speaker 1: has the gags, the songs, the twists, the new characters
Speaker 1: every time. Yes, and Puss in Boots is introduced in
Speaker 1: that Like, who is not my favorite part of the
Speaker 1: Shrek cinematic universe. I don't love Puss in Boots. Have
Speaker 1: you seen any of the movies? No?
Speaker 3: I haven't either, didn't like him. I just didn't like
Speaker 3: him in Trek. Apparently the latest Pusson book movie is
Speaker 3: pretty good.
Speaker 1: I won't be seeing it, but I hope that everyone
Speaker 1: who did enjoyed it.
Speaker 4: That's what they call me in a pair of zeros.
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, if I was Puss in boots, the boots
Speaker 1: are Margella tabbies, obviously, right, I'm serving Puss in these boots, would.
Speaker 4: Okay with your cisgender feet. Yes, of course you're servings
Speaker 4: in those Margella tabbies. Okay, I'm gonna be sticking with
Speaker 4: my fourteenth.
Speaker 1: They make no offense. They make men's tabbies, so you
Speaker 1: could get yourself a bear.
Speaker 4: I'm going to transition that too.
Speaker 2: Wow, Laura other reactions to watching Shreck too when when
Speaker 2: we were watching it together, Like, what were your thoughts?
Speaker 3: What were you feeling? What were you thinking?
Speaker 4: I mean so iconic, right, I mean first of all,
Speaker 4: like how many times does like one person transition in
Speaker 4: the storyline? I mean like one second you're an Ogre,
Speaker 4: one second you're not an Ogre, one second you're an Ogre.
Speaker 1: Again.
Speaker 4: I need that alone, Gaggy.
Speaker 3: Laurel was Shrek okay? So you're young.
Speaker 1: I discovered this recently and I hate it, and you.
Speaker 4: Can get I'm young, you are.
Speaker 3: You're twenty six, twenty seven.
Speaker 1: So Shrek would have come out when you were a
Speaker 1: baby baby? Was this? Yeh? Was it okay? So? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Was this formative for you?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 1: Was Shrek something that you watched a lot as a kid? Like?
Speaker 3: How did it shape your young transgender mind?
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
Speaker 4: Well I wasn't transit until I saw Shrek, and when
Speaker 4: I was like, you know, I too could be this
Speaker 4: glamorous ogre and paint myself different colors. I mean, oh,
Speaker 4: that was also the beginning of my makeup artist's career.
Speaker 4: But no, I grew up in a small town in
Speaker 4: bubble Fuck, Pennsylvania, and we had like, you know, one
Speaker 4: TV in the living room that had a small and
Speaker 4: we had one CD player, and we had two CDs
Speaker 4: in our entire house, actually three. One was like a
Speaker 4: religious one and the other two. One was Beethoven's like
Speaker 4: ninth Symphony, and that alone made me pursue a whole
Speaker 4: career in musk. And then the other one was the
Speaker 4: Struck One soundtrack.
Speaker 1: Oh, the smash mouthification of America incredible. So now Hey
Speaker 1: now You're an All Star and hey now, hey no.
Speaker 3: Blinkin eighty two, there's like funky Town.
Speaker 1: There's like so funky. It's the reason that I knew
Speaker 1: the song funky Town. And you know, there was the
Speaker 1: the nineties were really obsessed with the seventies, and I
Speaker 1: do think that this is coming at the tail end
Speaker 1: of that, and now that we're in a twenty year cycle,
Speaker 1: you know, over the last couple of years, people have
Speaker 1: been obsessed with the seventies again, like all the TikTok
Speaker 1: garlies are doing like their fucking curtain bang shit, and
Speaker 1: like you know, like bell Bottom g are bell Bottom
Speaker 1: jeans back, they've been back, baby fully. Yeah, I guess
Speaker 1: I have been looking for a kind of Bell Bottom moment. Okay,
Speaker 1: good to know, good to know. Yeah. So all that
Speaker 1: to say, funky Town slaps And I did watch the
Speaker 1: music video of it recently, in which a white woman
Speaker 1: is featured, when it's absolutely not a white woman who
Speaker 1: was singing in Funkytown by lips inc.
Speaker 4: That's not funky.
Speaker 2: But the music supervision stunning, stunning for Shrek one, incredible,
Speaker 2: no skips, Laurel. Yeah, I feel like when you were
Speaker 2: watching this together watching Shrek two. Specifically, there is the
Speaker 2: kind of like plotline of returning to your home, you
Speaker 2: have a completely new identity and press and presentation, and
Speaker 2: not just that, but your boyfriend is also this. Like
Speaker 2: I was like, oh my god, like me if I
Speaker 2: ever bring home like a tea for tea scenario, you
Speaker 2: know what I mean, like because and it was funny
Speaker 2: because like something that struck me is that the parents
Speaker 2: kind of underreact to the fact that their daughter is
Speaker 2: an ogre. Now like, yes, they're shocked and they remark
Speaker 2: on it, but like they're more concerned about the fact
Speaker 2: that her boyfriend is an ogre and that that makes
Speaker 2: everyone look bad. And I was like, damn, like the
Speaker 2: nuances of this in terms of like bringing people home
Speaker 2: and how they disapprove you when like you're actually like
Speaker 2: you're actually this kind of same as this parton.
Speaker 3: I don't know what I'm even trying to see.
Speaker 1: Either of you brought a significant other home that your
Speaker 1: parents disapproved of. My parents have only ever met one
Speaker 1: partner ever boyfriend when I was young, so no, but.
Speaker 3: They would.
Speaker 2: Or at least like or rather actually they would do
Speaker 2: what the King and Queen would do, which is just
Speaker 2: approved quietly, but to my face be like, oh my god,
Speaker 2: we're so happy for both of you, and then like
Speaker 2: plot against me and in their spare time and then
Speaker 2: like yeah, yea yeah.
Speaker 4: And you have a fight. Honestly, my parents disapprove of me,
Speaker 4: so if I brought up a partner, they'd probably be obsessed.
Speaker 4: You know, they'd probably be like, oh, are you not tranced?
Speaker 4: Cool sit at the front of the table, you know. Yeah,
Speaker 4: No I haven't. But honestly, if I ever returned back
Speaker 4: to my hometown, I feel like that is how it
Speaker 4: would be, because it's still like it's it's like a
Speaker 4: time like I drove past to like recently, like two
Speaker 4: years ago for the first time, like eight years, and
Speaker 4: it's like going back in time. It's like, oh, it's
Speaker 4: like near Amish country, so it's yie.
Speaker 1: Old he haw times. Yeah.
Speaker 4: Let's just say they would probably have the bow and
Speaker 4: arrows out for me.
Speaker 3: You've rose.
Speaker 2: I assume you've never introduced someone to your parents.
Speaker 1: No, that's not my view.
Speaker 2: I'm wondering what that would be like for you. You
Speaker 2: did have to do that, like a wet if you
Speaker 2: had a wedding date or something.
Speaker 1: Oh, I mean my mom would be like obsessed with them,
Speaker 1: you know. My mom would be like try to be
Speaker 1: like the most supportive ever, and my dad would just
Speaker 1: like say something embarrassing. Probably, yeah, I just that's not
Speaker 1: something that's like super important for me to do to
Speaker 1: get like family approval on someone that I'm you know,
Speaker 1: dating or whatever, you.
Speaker 2: Know What's Honestly, I don't know if this is true
Speaker 2: for you, Rose, but like my some introducing someone to
Speaker 2: my friends, the stakes are way higher.
Speaker 4: Like one, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 2: If I bring If I start dating someone and I
Speaker 2: have to like introduce them to you, Rose and.
Speaker 3: You Laurel like.
Speaker 1: That, it could go bad, it could go south. And
Speaker 1: I mean and I have had some some opinions on
Speaker 1: people that you have, you know, been involved with involved
Speaker 1: with luckily never like dated dated well maybe actually, but regardless, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I do think that that it's like that's like a
Speaker 1: much tougher hurdle to go through because they really will
Speaker 1: converse with you.
Speaker 3: It's not just like familial.
Speaker 4: Yeah, So let's ask this question again. Have you all
Speaker 4: ever introduced a partner to your friend group and their
Speaker 4: reactions have been adverse? Because I, yeah, I would love
Speaker 4: to know that I feel like we the stakes are higher.
Speaker 2: No for me, but I not not really, but like
Speaker 2: I have definitely had besties introducing me to their waves
Speaker 2: and I was like, oh, this person's warming or like
Speaker 2: this person's so basic, Like that is tough, Okay.
Speaker 1: So I I like have not really, but I have
Speaker 1: had a very weird friend experience with a friend of
Speaker 1: someone that I wanted to hook up with, which is
Speaker 1: I'm just following the rabbit hole for the sake of
Speaker 1: the story, please, So I uh, back in the back
Speaker 1: in the old. He had times when love Gun was
Speaker 1: open in Williamsburg. I used to throw a party there
Speaker 1: and one night and this was like pre trans So
Speaker 1: one night I was I was throwing a party at
Speaker 1: love Gun and there was this guy and he and
Speaker 1: I were like making out all night, but he had
Speaker 1: this friend with him and he was like visiting the
Speaker 1: friend in New York. And the friend just like would
Speaker 1: not leave us alone, was like following us around all
Speaker 1: night and we were like very clearly like wanted to fuck.
Speaker 1: And so I was like, ask the guy if you
Speaker 1: wanted to come home with me? He's like, can my
Speaker 1: friend come? And we had to like hang out with
Speaker 1: his friend like all like all night into the morning
Speaker 1: into the next day, and then like he just like
Speaker 1: wouldn't get the hint. And then eventually I had to
Speaker 1: be like, hey, so like I'm going to fuck him,
Speaker 1: could you maybe like go in the other room or something,
Speaker 1: because you definitely aren't watching?
Speaker 3: Yeah, did he want to watch that?
Speaker 1: I don't know if he wanted to like join, but
Speaker 1: I was not into him in the way that I
Speaker 1: was into the friend, and it was we do they
Speaker 1: like this? I don't think, So that was not the
Speaker 1: vibe that I got. And I don't know, like cause
Speaker 1: like today, I mean obviously, like I would never be
Speaker 1: in the situation today. But if I was in this
Speaker 1: situation today, I would have just told a friend like hey, loser,
Speaker 1: go away, you know.
Speaker 4: Hey, fad Yeah.
Speaker 1: But for some reason, I like entertained this tomfoolery when
Speaker 1: it happened, and like, yeah, I think they were at
Speaker 1: my apartment till like noon the next day. We might
Speaker 1: have all gone and got breakfast together.
Speaker 4: They stayed. Wait this was at your apartment?
Speaker 1: This was that my apartment.
Speaker 4: You go outside and get like a package and just
Speaker 4: lock them.
Speaker 3: Are you into being watched or watching?
Speaker 1: Because I am no No, I'm not. I mean, like
Speaker 1: it's one thing when I've been at like sex parties
Speaker 1: or places where just like group sex or like outdoor
Speaker 1: sex is happening, but it's not like I'm not doing
Speaker 1: it to be watched. But if they're happened to be
Speaker 1: people watching, like okay, whatever, but.
Speaker 3: You're not going to bring a third just to watch. No,
Speaker 3: it's not.
Speaker 1: It's not something that I seek out because I don't
Speaker 1: like to perform like that. I bet you do, though.
Speaker 3: I I mean.
Speaker 4: I know what frand loves a right like to watch,
Speaker 4: but they love to be.
Speaker 3: Watched, love to be watched.
Speaker 4: I love to be watched.
Speaker 2: I haven't really experienced a scenario where I'm strictly watching
Speaker 2: where like two people are gonna fuck and I'm there
Speaker 2: to watch and do that I actually thinking, I think
Speaker 2: I think probably in coach.
Speaker 3: I would.
Speaker 2: I would love it. I'm really into like live sex.
Speaker 2: Like sorry, I'm it's definitely a kink of mine.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would just feel left out. No, I would
Speaker 3: love to watch.
Speaker 4: I would be actually pissed the nice too.
Speaker 2: I would leave the thing about watching that I like
Speaker 2: is that you don't really have any responsibilities other than
Speaker 2: to watch and and when you're watching, you're still elevat
Speaker 2: in the experience because you're making it hotter for them.
Speaker 3: It's hot for me.
Speaker 2: Like I get a free you know, it's a a
Speaker 2: free little you know show.
Speaker 4: They're like shouting explicits in the back.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, I'm like throwing like singles dollar bills
Speaker 2: at them.
Speaker 3: Laurel.
Speaker 1: What about you, Laurel?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 4: Do you like to be watch so funny? We actually
Speaker 4: are talking about this. One of my first sexual experiences.
Speaker 4: Grew up in bumba Puck, Pennsylvania. I had, you know,
Speaker 4: a fling with this one guy earlier, and I was
Speaker 4: it was a friend of a friend who if you
Speaker 4: knew someone who knew someone who was gay, like ten
Speaker 4: years ago, that was a huge thing, like because people
Speaker 4: just weren't out, you know, like ten years ago was
Speaker 4: so different. And my friend had a friend that was
Speaker 4: an hour and a half when they were going to
Speaker 4: come over to our friend's house who was having a
Speaker 4: house party, and they were gay and they had a relationship,
Speaker 4: and him and his partner were messaging me on Twitter
Speaker 4: before and like, Hey, we'd love to hang out with
Speaker 4: you at this party. So it's like, okay, what's going on.
Speaker 4: I go to this party. It's my friend who's hosting.
Speaker 4: It is like the school straight guy in school at
Speaker 4: the time, he was straight. I was like, he was
Speaker 4: always a little too nice to me, who I was
Speaker 4: clearly a fagot, and I was like, why is he
Speaker 4: so nice to me? Turns out ended up being like
Speaker 4: gender queer and bisexual, but didn't come out for years
Speaker 4: until you know after, I mean in some in some
Speaker 4: capacity at least, you know. I so, you know, it
Speaker 4: was a straight person in high school and brought these
Speaker 4: friends over and they're like, hey, Laurel. My name was Laurel.
Speaker 4: Was like, hey, Laurel, they want to hang out with you,
Speaker 4: and you can like hang out in my bedroom. I
Speaker 4: was like, he was like, you can have fun in
Speaker 4: my bedroom with these two people. I was like, okay,
Speaker 4: I go up.
Speaker 1: We end up making a sex trafficking yeah, literally, and
Speaker 1: in this like straight guys bedroom. I was like what
Speaker 1: and he so I got fucked and we were fucking,
Speaker 1: and then the one boyfriend while we're making out, just
Speaker 1: slowly my grades to the corner of the room and
Speaker 1: I'm you know, becoming fully participatory with this other individual
Speaker 1: and the other.
Speaker 4: One is sitting in his like rotating off his deck's
Speaker 4: desk chair, not in that chair like gachair. Yes, no,
Speaker 4: it was a gamer chair.
Speaker 1: It was a game of chair like it was a
Speaker 1: gamer chair, like a fifteen clined. He like put on
Speaker 1: his head set with like the very high back.
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, back higher than the shoulders right, and like
Speaker 4: and he he's there. I don't even know he was
Speaker 4: like touching himself, but he was just watching and I'm
Speaker 4: getting fucked, and I'm like, you know, it's like you
Speaker 4: have a feeling when you're in a room there's like
Speaker 4: something on the corner of your eye, like what was that?
Speaker 4: And it was just this James watching James James, and
Speaker 4: James was in the corner pulling the page while I'm
Speaker 4: getting cloud by his boyf on my friend's futon. So then,
Speaker 4: long story short, they ended up breaking up after like
Speaker 4: weeks after that because they weren't comfortable. He wasn't comfortable
Speaker 4: with his boyfriend fucking me the entire time, and they
Speaker 4: like got they just like separated. And I haven't had
Speaker 4: a cukhold scenario since, but I did, and that relationship,
Speaker 4: so that was kind.
Speaker 1: Of kind of wow.
Speaker 3: I Honestly, I love cuckolding. I don't know why.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love glove cuckolding, cuckoldry. I don't know why.
Speaker 2: But when you cuk aldree, I don't know why. But
Speaker 2: when you said like that, you like turned to the
Speaker 2: corner and whatever that there was going to be like
Speaker 2: a Renaissance painting, and these like eyes like moving like
Speaker 2: someone behind the Renaissance painting, like peeping through like.
Speaker 3: That should be a was going to be there. What
Speaker 3: if that was a thing like it?
Speaker 2: Okay, instead of glory holes, it was like someone watching
Speaker 2: you through a painting.
Speaker 4: Honestly, And it's my face painted the comone and.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, girl with the pearl earrings. No, No, it's like.
Speaker 1: It's like it's the Scream, but it's like the mouth
Speaker 1: that's a glory whole.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and her face is like a full house labs?
Speaker 1: Did you know that? Did you know that the mask
Speaker 1: from Scream is based off of the painting the screen?
Speaker 3: I actually love the Scream.
Speaker 4: That's so good. I didn't love. I had no idea.
Speaker 2: I love the primary antagonist of the Scream franchise, who
Speaker 2: goes by scream No.
Speaker 4: His name is ghost Face gender neutral icon.
Speaker 1: Their name is ghost Face. Anyway, back to Shrek. So
Speaker 1: Shrek two is the best Shrek movie. And I've only
Speaker 1: seen those two, and but.
Speaker 4: There's three, and there's three, and there's four.
Speaker 1: Christmas special yes, and a Broadway musical and a movie
Speaker 1: of the Broadway musical and a spinoff series.
Speaker 4: But the musicals is actually really good.
Speaker 1: It's like really good.
Speaker 4: It's actually really good. They really lean into like the
Speaker 4: cross dressing wolf scenario, and they like reference it a
Speaker 4: couple of times in the stage play.
Speaker 1: What did they say, Okay, don't tempt me with the
Speaker 1: good Who plays the wolf?
Speaker 4: It's Ben Platt.
Speaker 1: And if you see the trailer for a theater camp
Speaker 1: that came out today with Ben Platt in it, it
Speaker 1: actually looks really good.
Speaker 2: Oh look, Ben Platt can really pop off with some
Speaker 2: of those notes.
Speaker 4: No, I live for him.
Speaker 3: It's great, I live for him.
Speaker 1: Wait, we have to talk about the Fairy Godmother from
Speaker 1: Shrek two, played by the legendary Jennifer Saunders, who fran
Speaker 1: like literally does not know who she is. She's also
Speaker 1: an absolutely fabulous She's been yes, she's been in literally everything.
Speaker 1: She is the dvdal herself, and she plays the fairy
Speaker 1: Godmother and sings. Does it cover a transcendent cover of
Speaker 1: holding out for a hero that still to this day
Speaker 1: is not available to stream on Spotify?
Speaker 3: Why what crazy?
Speaker 1: I don't know.
Speaker 4: They robbed her of those residuals like she would literally
Speaker 4: like how many times had a drag brunch I've seen
Speaker 4: somebody you know before?
Speaker 1: Oh my god? And also like all the I mean
Speaker 1: literally just yesterday I saw a picture of Helen Mirr
Speaker 1: and it can in an all blue outfit with blue
Speaker 1: tinted hair, and I tweeted it said holding up for
Speaker 1: hero and this is it's a look that has been
Speaker 1: done before, like Gaga at the Oscars the Year of
Speaker 1: Stars Born or no, the Golden Globes the Year Starsborn.
Speaker 1: She was in blue with blue tinted hair, also looking
Speaker 1: like the Fairy Godmother.
Speaker 4: I love she She definitely does like I feel like
Speaker 4: the FFAs of the Shrek World, you know what I mean,
Speaker 4: Like it's just like a potion at that point, you know,
Speaker 4: like right, you know, I mean that was gender firming
Speaker 4: surgery for Shrek. Tell me I'm wrong. That was gender firming.
Speaker 1: When she turns him into a human, Yes, a hot
Speaker 1: human jawnline, you know, don oh, oh my god, the
Speaker 1: fucking gaze on Twitter, who go crazy for the dad
Speaker 1: from inside out? You know, they would suck human shred
Speaker 1: off with it until his body desiccated, until he was
Speaker 1: a mummy.
Speaker 3: They would find him at disco.
Speaker 1: They would suck him off so hard that his body
Speaker 1: turned inside out and then disappeared into like a blip.
Speaker 4: Those are the same gaze that would quote tweet a
Speaker 4: picture of that transformed Trek and the caption would be
Speaker 4: a pantone color of what they think the color of
Speaker 4: that man stick is.
Speaker 1: Yes, And it would also be something like until the
Speaker 1: castle wall, you know, tumbled down, until the swamp ran dry,
Speaker 1: I mean dry, until the onion went bad.
Speaker 2: Pound my ogre russy, honey, Oh not ogre russy, you know,
Speaker 2: like maybe like oh gussy, oh gussie, gussy, Oh grussy,
Speaker 2: oh grussy.
Speaker 4: That's aggress.
Speaker 2: I mean we all know, Rose that you are more
Speaker 2: sexually attracted to Shrek as an ogre than Trek as
Speaker 2: a human.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Absolutely, I mean I need those little I need
Speaker 1: those little like things on top to hold on to
Speaker 1: when I'm sucking his face.
Speaker 3: Wait, I didn't even.
Speaker 2: I didn't even think about that as like an actual
Speaker 2: practical tactile thing like those are.
Speaker 4: They're up here for a recent so you can just
Speaker 4: you know, handlebars. Wow, So you you would face Shrek down,
Speaker 4: that's what you're saying.
Speaker 3: Image.
Speaker 1: I would facebalk shrek it down. And you know, because
Speaker 1: he's an ogre, he loves you'd come. He is a
Speaker 1: come guzzler.
Speaker 3: Well, if the Shrek porn that I've seen.
Speaker 1: You not that I have a ton to give, but
Speaker 1: whatever I have, it's his.
Speaker 4: I mean, just a little dribble, a little dribble.
Speaker 3: Do you think the semen is green?
Speaker 1: His semen? I think it's sort of like a MUCUSI
Speaker 1: like like mountain dew like yellow.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, mountain.
Speaker 4: That's so funny. I literally got a product. Way I
Speaker 4: think this is what it is.
Speaker 1: Literally, it's like it looks like he's very dehydrated, but
Speaker 1: he actually like he comes a lot.
Speaker 4: Oh what about like I feel like this like specific
Speaker 4: shade of green maybe like.
Speaker 2: Ooh ben nye, it's literally called slime.
Speaker 4: Let me do a little swatch test, a little.
Speaker 3: Oh swatched to come on swatch test.
Speaker 2: Oh god, I was gonna say that Shrek must be
Speaker 2: great in the sack because he doesn't care at all
Speaker 2: about like, you know.
Speaker 1: What do you think?
Speaker 2: I mean, when you fuck Shrek, you do not need
Speaker 2: to do. Yeah, you got to be an ink. He stinky,
Speaker 2: kinky kind of girl. But what can he likes musk, pheromones.
Speaker 2: He a pisskink for sure, pisskink. He's a pheromone.
Speaker 1: The dragon armpits.
Speaker 3: Oh pits, Oh my god, Shrek.
Speaker 1: If you got caught a whiff of Shrek's pits, you
Speaker 1: would probably like you're you would have an aneurysm.
Speaker 3: Pit's feet taint. He probably loves to suck on it.
Speaker 1: Oh, he loves like a champion.
Speaker 3: He eats ass.
Speaker 1: He's like me eating ass, like he will eat I'm Shrek,
Speaker 1: Well you are the main king, Like I'm not Fiona,
Speaker 1: I'm Shrek. You do get And you know, Shrek. Shrek
Speaker 1: has like had such a cultural resurgence recently with like
Speaker 1: I mean we were talking about there was a Shrek
Speaker 1: grave a while ago. Multiple the whole like gorpe core
Speaker 1: fashion thing is very Shrek vibes. I mean, Shrek meme
Speaker 1: culture is huge. There was that TikTok filter where like
Speaker 1: Shrek was behind you. I've seen I've seen Shrek's dick
Speaker 1: so many times on Twitter.
Speaker 2: What you have?
Speaker 1: I mean girl, uncut? Uncut for sure, uncut, but Shrek.
Speaker 1: I think Shrek's megma is the color of that thing
Speaker 1: you were just checked. Yeah, that's that's the magma.
Speaker 2: No, I mean no, Shrek is definitely definitely an inky,
Speaker 2: stinky girl.
Speaker 1: Are you an inky stinky girl? Do you like smells?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 1: I really don't like people who smell.
Speaker 3: I really don't you, Laurel.
Speaker 1: No, you know what is the worst for me?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 4: I I don't like smells, particularly those of the oral kind.
Speaker 4: And when people say that they're in to spit and
Speaker 4: then they like spit, and then it is the most
Speaker 4: thing atrocious taste smell anything in the world. Has that
Speaker 4: ever happened to you?
Speaker 3: Oh?
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah?
Speaker 4: And what was your solution, because.
Speaker 1: I literally threw a man off of me onto the
Speaker 1: floor on My solution was being like, don't do that again.
Speaker 1: Because the thing is, I don't have a spit kink,
Speaker 1: but sometimes it works, like there have. I can maybe
Speaker 1: count on one hand to the amount of times in
Speaker 1: my life where someone has spit specifically in my mouth.
Speaker 1: Because I don't mind being spit on. I like spitting
Speaker 1: on other people a lot, But I don't mind being
Speaker 1: spit on, but having someone spit in my mouth like
Speaker 1: nine times out of ten, I'm like it was discussing
Speaker 1: I'm whenna vomit got off me. But then there's that
Speaker 1: one in ten where it's like it just works and
Speaker 1: it's really hot.
Speaker 4: They need to literally brush their teeth right beat four.
Speaker 4: I remember. I just remember. At one time in twenty sixteen,
Speaker 4: I was working at an opera company and kid cod
Speaker 4: for the summer. I was playing French horn and I
Speaker 4: was meeting up with like a sneaky leak. I found
Speaker 4: a grinder like thirty minutes away in the middle of
Speaker 4: the night and this hotel motel, and it was like
Speaker 4: this kid was like kind of my age, like also
Speaker 4: like a teenager. We were like nineteen at the time,
Speaker 4: And he spits in my mouth onions, shallotts, garlics, leaks, leaks,
Speaker 4: shall garlics. Oh my, and I'm scalling o aromatics, aromatics, aromatics,
Speaker 4: night shades literally Patrulli, and I'm I'm trying to think
Speaker 4: I don't have like the show social skills or the
Speaker 4: confidence to just be like I'm leaving this is disgusting.
Speaker 4: So somebody happens to call my phone. As soon as
Speaker 4: that happens, I grab my phone. I hang up immediately
Speaker 4: and I answer it, and I just like, my sister's
Speaker 4: having a medical emergency, and then like, I really have
Speaker 4: to go. I'm so sorry. I'm really she's really freaking
Speaker 4: out right now.
Speaker 3: I have to go.
Speaker 4: Meanwhile, my transphobic sisters thirteen states away, and I'm just
Speaker 4: trying to get out of the sneak thing.
Speaker 3: And I did I never called you by your name?
Speaker 4: Uh yeah, yeah, yeah, I I I know.
Speaker 2: I I don't know how like people who spit I'm
Speaker 2: using the inclusive terminology, people who spin.
Speaker 3: People, yeah, I don't know how they find me there.
Speaker 2: I'm always spit on, always spinning in my mouth, like
Speaker 2: in my mouth, and people like, I'm like, not, it's
Speaker 2: not like a hard boundary form or anything, so of course,
Speaker 2: I like stick up my tongue. I'm like, but like,
Speaker 2: I I don't like being spit on on my front.
Speaker 2: I want to be like you could spit up anywhere
Speaker 2: on the back, anywhere.
Speaker 1: The spit on, spit on you know, another orifice or
Speaker 1: like some genitalia, you know, spit on something that you're
Speaker 1: that like needs to be lubricated. Hello, I'm good love enjoy.
Speaker 4: Yeah, you know like fans like, yeah, people spit on
Speaker 4: me all the time. I want down the street and
Speaker 4: they're just spitting at me. It's it's everywhere. They just
Speaker 4: keep spitting everywhere.
Speaker 3: Just NonStop. Not my thing, not my tea.
Speaker 2: But Rose, you have consumed quite a lot of Shrek porn,
Speaker 2: and I feel like you should share your insights.
Speaker 1: I have not consumed a lot of Shrek porn.
Speaker 3: Quite a bit of Shrek.
Speaker 1: I've seen Shrek's dick a lot, and maybe like one
Speaker 1: or two ancillery images, but it's not something that I've
Speaker 1: actively looked for. I could right now, when we could
Speaker 1: live react to it.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, where is shrekstick going in this porn? Who
Speaker 4: is he fucking?
Speaker 1: I'm going to google Shrek porn.
Speaker 4: Sometimes they do, like these pornos will have like different
Speaker 4: cartoons from different series fucking each other.
Speaker 1: Like I'm opening up.
Speaker 2: Our group trans trans Fiona porn girl, that is Fiona. Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 2: why would I even Oh that's not what I was
Speaker 2: looking for. Oh my god, this one has Jennifer Saunders
Speaker 2: in it.
Speaker 4: No, no, I just got the text.
Speaker 3: No, Oh my god, it's fusting.
Speaker 4: Girl that cocked. It's giving, it's giving.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Way, I just found the fairy Godmother
Speaker 1: and she has like it looks like she's enchanted a
Speaker 1: dildo to fuck her. I'm sending. I'm sending that.
Speaker 4: She's ahead of the tech guy.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I see one. Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Oh this one also, can we talk about nipples are pierrest?
Speaker 2: That makes complete sense to me. Yeah, like it's and
Speaker 2: you know, it's like it's not just like a softcore piercing,
Speaker 2: it's like a bar.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, this naked trek is really sending me
Speaker 1: for some reason.
Speaker 4: Was that done with AI?
Speaker 1: I don't know, girl, it looks like good.
Speaker 3: This is the strongest argument for AI I've ever seen.
Speaker 1: Wow. Okay, I wait, I found the dragon.
Speaker 2: I'm looking at one right now where Jennifer Saunders and
Speaker 2: Fiona both have dicks and they're coming in dragon watching
Speaker 2: this dragon.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, she's got to be Bill for sure, this dragon.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Wait, I found trans Fiona and trans Ferry.
Speaker 4: God, no, a little Bushwick couple.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 1: The polycule.
Speaker 3: This is the only polycule I want to be.
Speaker 4: Wait, can we talk about this. All their dicks are
Speaker 4: different colors, but the heads of all of them are pink.
Speaker 4: So even the green dick, it still has a pink head.
Speaker 4: That's interesting.
Speaker 3: That doesn't really make sense to me, but I'm well,
Speaker 3: you know, it's it's fairy tale.
Speaker 1: It's magic.
Speaker 3: It's magic, it's magic.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, this donkey one wait?
Speaker 3: Okay, dragon swallowing the donkey.
Speaker 2: What would y'all wish for if you had one wish
Speaker 2: from the fairy godmother, if you wanted her to kind
Speaker 2: of help you.
Speaker 3: Do something over beautify you.
Speaker 2: And it has to be something personal, right, Yeah, it
Speaker 2: can't just be ffs No, I would have her.
Speaker 1: My wish would be to go back in time and
Speaker 1: see Madonna's Confessions tour live.
Speaker 2: Ooh okay, I would do that, but like maybe the
Speaker 2: Fame Monster tour the Monster and also like invest in
Speaker 2: apple stock or something. I don't know, what about you, Laura,
Speaker 2: invest in Netflix stock? No, not that, but that's not
Speaker 2: worth anything now.
Speaker 4: I'd probably rob Rob with your wish.
Speaker 1: How so you know, you'd be like.
Speaker 4: Make myself invisible and then steal a bunch of stuff
Speaker 4: and like just give it away. But you only get
Speaker 4: one wish so then would you be invisible forever invisible
Speaker 4: on command?
Speaker 1: I assume.
Speaker 4: Oh, actually, I didn't think this went through. I didn't
Speaker 4: think this went through at all.
Speaker 3: The parameters are way too, way too wide.
Speaker 1: Okay, Fran, what's your wish one?
Speaker 2: Which I would love for my ask to be fatter.
Speaker 2: But there's non magical ways to make baby M sculpt.
Speaker 3: They're expensive, not M sculpt. Hmmm, yeah, I'm not sure.
Speaker 2: I would love bigger balls. Really, that's not something that
Speaker 2: I mean, My balls are normal, big big balls. That's
Speaker 2: honestly not my actual answer, but it was something that
Speaker 2: popped my hairt I was like, I would love bigger balls.
Speaker 2: Every time I see like huge ball that I want.
Speaker 2: You want like double double d's double d's double d's down.
Speaker 4: There, you want to have to like double b double.
Speaker 3: That's like not my real answer, but that'll be my
Speaker 3: answer for now. Okay, great, Okay.
Speaker 4: My actual answer now is I would be as smooth
Speaker 4: as a dolphin because I have pale skin and light
Speaker 4: body hair and light facial hair. And when it comes
Speaker 4: to lasers, it is the number you can't you can't
Speaker 4: get that ship laser, the laser can't find it.
Speaker 1: No, it can't. Yeah, it's electrolysis or bust for you.
Speaker 1: No hair by hair, no bye, follicle by follicle base.
Speaker 1: I know I have I have very light I have
Speaker 1: read facial hair, so I have a similar struggle.
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, I guess I'm going to the trek.
Speaker 3: You know, girls like girls like us.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, well, we just need to find a fairy
Speaker 1: godmother and then we'll be good to go. Slide into
Speaker 1: our dms at Like a Virgin for twenty sixty nine
Speaker 1: and let us know. Are you an ogre? Are you
Speaker 1: a dragon? Are you a dot dot? Have you seen Shrek? Stick?
Speaker 1: On Twitter? And also become a patron at Patreon dot com,
Speaker 1: Slash Like a Virgin for weekly bonus episodes by our
Speaker 1: merch Like a Virgin four twenty sixty nine dot com,
Speaker 1: and follow us at Like a Virgin four twenty sixty
Speaker 1: nine on Instagram Tuesday up to date with everything that
Speaker 1: we do. You can also follow me anywhere online at
Speaker 1: ros Daumu.
Speaker 3: You can follow me at friends, wishko anywhere you like.
Speaker 1: Like a Virgin is an iHeartRadio production. Our producer is
Speaker 1: Phoebe Unter, with support from Lindsay Hoffman and Nikki Tour
Speaker 1: until next week. Au Revoir auahir
Speaker 3: Li was was