WEBVTT - Meet Celeste the Therapist 0:00:11.840 --> 0:00:14.400 Good morning, peeps, and welcome to okay F Daily with 0:00:14.600 --> 0:00:19.799 Meet your Girl Danielle. Recording from Where the Home Bunker. Folks, 0:00:20.040 --> 0:00:23.560 I'm really excited to bring to you today a conversation 0:00:23.920 --> 0:00:27.200 that I had with celest the Therapist. You should check 0:00:27.200 --> 0:00:30.880 out her podcast, And we're talking today once again about 0:00:31.000 --> 0:00:34.920 mental health, about what it means to put ourselves forward 0:00:35.400 --> 0:00:39.360 right in recognizing that we are living in incredibly tumultuous times. 0:00:39.400 --> 0:00:43.200 We're living and existing and trying to work and live 0:00:43.320 --> 0:00:48.120 and find joy in compounded trauma and what that looks like. 0:00:48.600 --> 0:00:53.440 So today we dig into the conversations that I've been 0:00:53.479 --> 0:00:56.480 having with all of you with regard to that ambient 0:00:56.640 --> 0:00:59.360 stress that The New York Times talked about, that stress 0:00:59.440 --> 0:01:03.000 that is just running in the back of our minds 0:01:03.000 --> 0:01:05.679 on a day to day that doesn't ever go anywhere. 0:01:05.760 --> 0:01:08.640 And so if we know that that is apparent, and 0:01:08.760 --> 0:01:12.119 we know that it is happening, and if we're unconscious 0:01:12.160 --> 0:01:14.959 of it, then we don't think about the tactics and 0:01:15.040 --> 0:01:17.560 the ways in which we can begin to get that 0:01:17.680 --> 0:01:21.759 stress out of our bodies in healthy ways. So first 0:01:21.880 --> 0:01:25.520 it is about acknowledging the fact that we are stressed 0:01:25.560 --> 0:01:28.120 out that there is a lot going on, and a 0:01:28.160 --> 0:01:31.119 lot of what is happening is sadly out of our control. 0:01:31.440 --> 0:01:34.520 But knowing that there actually are things that we can 0:01:34.600 --> 0:01:37.119 be doing. We can go for walks, we can have 0:01:37.240 --> 0:01:41.640 planned time with family and friends. We can garden, we 0:01:41.680 --> 0:01:45.920 walk with our pets. We can join groups, community groups. 0:01:46.040 --> 0:01:48.960 If you are, you know, politically aligned, as I know 0:01:49.040 --> 0:01:51.200 many of you are, you can go and look for 0:01:51.360 --> 0:01:55.000 campaigns that you can volunteer for in your local counties 0:01:55.040 --> 0:01:57.800 and states and areas that allow you to maybe do 0:01:57.960 --> 0:02:01.000 some door knocking. Even though I got to tell you folks, 0:02:01.800 --> 0:02:04.040 I know folks that are out right now that are 0:02:04.160 --> 0:02:07.080 knocking on doors, and I just have to tell my 0:02:07.200 --> 0:02:10.840 BIPOC folks, my black Indigenous people of color, to be careful. 0:02:11.400 --> 0:02:13.959 And why do I say that specifically to them? Oh, 0:02:14.000 --> 0:02:16.160 I don't know, because we have a tendency to get 0:02:16.200 --> 0:02:20.480 shot by being on other people's doorsteps, and so I 0:02:20.520 --> 0:02:25.040 get really worried about what happens to those volunteers. So 0:02:25.080 --> 0:02:29.440 maybe going in groups, mixed groups of people and acting 0:02:29.480 --> 0:02:33.280 as advocates for each other, if you choose that path. 0:02:33.840 --> 0:02:37.640 But you know what also has gotten me this week 0:02:37.960 --> 0:02:42.680 is I know that people are, you know, chomping at 0:02:42.680 --> 0:02:46.520 the bit, believing that Donald Trump his day is finally coming. 0:02:46.880 --> 0:02:49.080 And I have to tell you that I would not 0:02:49.200 --> 0:02:51.880 count my chickens before they hatch. I would not even 0:02:51.919 --> 0:02:54.840 hold my breath. There's a part of me that believes 0:02:54.880 --> 0:02:57.160 that a lot of what is happening right now is 0:02:57.200 --> 0:03:00.200 just more pomp and circumstance. It's like the busy work 0:03:00.240 --> 0:03:03.520 that a substitute teacher would provide to a student just 0:03:03.680 --> 0:03:07.440 to keep them occupied, but it doesn't actually really do anything. 0:03:07.760 --> 0:03:10.000 And that's kind of how I'm feeling. I know that, 0:03:10.280 --> 0:03:13.840 you know, Weisselberg was found guilty on fifteen felony counts, 0:03:13.840 --> 0:03:15.840 and guess what, He's going to serve less time in 0:03:15.919 --> 0:03:18.639 jail than a black person that was found with a 0:03:18.720 --> 0:03:23.320 dime bag of weed. Right meanwhile, he had assaulted the 0:03:23.960 --> 0:03:29.079 I don't know federal government, right, harming people. But he'll 0:03:29.160 --> 0:03:32.000 serve five months and then he'll go off and collect 0:03:32.040 --> 0:03:37.480 his multimillions or billions. Right. These punishments that are coming down, 0:03:37.560 --> 0:03:39.520 if you can even really call them, that are nothing 0:03:39.560 --> 0:03:41.640 more than a slap on the wrist. It's why these 0:03:41.680 --> 0:03:45.040 people do the shit that they do, because more times 0:03:45.040 --> 0:03:47.280 than not, they don't get caught. And when they do 0:03:47.360 --> 0:03:51.840 get caught, white collar criminals and quotations use it. You know, 0:03:51.920 --> 0:03:54.080 they get a slap on the wrist, they get a 0:03:54.120 --> 0:03:58.200 fine if anything really and so you know, and I see, Oh, 0:03:58.280 --> 0:04:01.080 Lindsay Graham is going to be defined to not testify 0:04:01.240 --> 0:04:05.440 before the Georgia grand jury as he is also calling 0:04:05.440 --> 0:04:08.440 for a transparency from the FBI. I'm like, Lindsay, shut 0:04:08.480 --> 0:04:11.760 the fuck up. Like you can't honestly have it both ways. 0:04:12.000 --> 0:04:14.800 Where at one hand you want to respect law enforcement 0:04:14.840 --> 0:04:17.560 and say that, oh, we need to have transparency all 0:04:17.600 --> 0:04:20.320 for your king Donald Trump. But when we're looking for 0:04:20.320 --> 0:04:23.839 when the American people are looking for transparency into who 0:04:23.880 --> 0:04:26.560 it is that you were threatening and or buying off 0:04:26.720 --> 0:04:29.640 in order to overturn the fucking election for Donald Trump, 0:04:29.720 --> 0:04:32.440 all of a sudden, you're all mum's the word. Like, 0:04:32.560 --> 0:04:35.000 I'm just tired. I think that I've gotten to a 0:04:35.040 --> 0:04:38.159 point where I'm just tired. You know, if they all 0:04:38.200 --> 0:04:42.679 get arrested, I'll be surprised. If they don't get arrested 0:04:42.720 --> 0:04:45.320 and they're able to live out their days, I also 0:04:45.640 --> 0:04:48.960 won't be surprised. Right, Like, there is nothing that can 0:04:49.040 --> 0:04:52.560 come out these days that will say, oh, yeah, you know, 0:04:52.640 --> 0:04:54.960 this is America doing what it needs to be done 0:04:54.960 --> 0:04:58.680 to hold people accountable. Is the Biden administration doing what 0:04:58.760 --> 0:05:01.440 it needs to be done. Yeah, you know, they're passing 0:05:01.560 --> 0:05:04.000 huge pieces of legislation that of course no one is 0:05:04.040 --> 0:05:06.440 talking really about in the media because they're all tied 0:05:06.520 --> 0:05:10.000 up on in the Donald Trump circus. Right, And so 0:05:10.279 --> 0:05:13.120 you know what will happen during mid terms now that 0:05:13.160 --> 0:05:16.640 we know that Republicans are a rabid cult and everybody 0:05:16.680 --> 0:05:19.600 that they're going to put in positions of power believes 0:05:19.800 --> 0:05:23.839 in over still overturning the twenty twenty election, that believes 0:05:23.880 --> 0:05:27.240 in election fraud, that you know, doesn't believe that people 0:05:27.279 --> 0:05:29.520 should have the right to vote, believes that sixteen year 0:05:29.560 --> 0:05:32.520 olds and ten year old rape victims should become mothers 0:05:32.640 --> 0:05:36.960 enforced into parenthood, That believe that former veterans should be 0:05:37.000 --> 0:05:41.159 teaching children. They have no certification, no degree in teaching whatsoever. 0:05:41.200 --> 0:05:43.479 But you know what they do have a gun and 0:05:43.600 --> 0:05:47.080 quote unquote patriotism. So I guess that'll work in those 0:05:47.160 --> 0:05:50.760 red states. Not to mention what our economy and our 0:05:50.839 --> 0:05:53.400 job force will look like in maybe five to ten 0:05:53.480 --> 0:05:56.480 years when these kids are entering into this place knowing 0:05:56.680 --> 0:05:59.080 very little, right because we don't give a fuck about 0:05:59.160 --> 0:06:02.400 education in this country. So you know, I take everything 0:06:02.440 --> 0:06:04.960 these days with a grain of salt, and it's why 0:06:05.839 --> 0:06:09.279 I think that it's important to have mindfulness practices. I 0:06:09.320 --> 0:06:12.720 think that it's important to dive into your friendships and 0:06:12.839 --> 0:06:16.479 your loved ones and your own community, because what is 0:06:16.560 --> 0:06:21.920 happening outside is just more of the same bullshit white 0:06:22.040 --> 0:06:25.760 sis men doing whatever it is that they want, no 0:06:25.800 --> 0:06:29.680 one holding them accountable. Everyone you know, screaming for a 0:06:29.680 --> 0:06:33.600 little bit just to give the appearance right that we're 0:06:33.640 --> 0:06:36.120 going to do something and make sure that everyone is 0:06:36.160 --> 0:06:38.520 held to the same laws and standards, and then we 0:06:38.600 --> 0:06:41.479 actually do nothing when all of the fanfare and the 0:06:41.560 --> 0:06:45.880 screeches go away. That's pretty much where I am. So 0:06:46.080 --> 0:06:49.880 coming up next my conversation with Celeste the Therapist, to 0:06:50.000 --> 0:06:53.479 unpack all the ways that we can stay sane and 0:06:53.560 --> 0:06:58.040 emotionally well right in a place of thriving and not 0:06:58.120 --> 0:07:09.720 just surviving these quote unquote unprecedented times. Indisputable with Doctor 0:07:09.800 --> 0:07:12.400 Rashid Ricci is one of the latest shows on the 0:07:12.440 --> 0:07:16.560 TYT network and also the fastest growing news show in America. 0:07:16.960 --> 0:07:20.760 On his show, Doctor Ricci plays no games regarding policy, 0:07:20.880 --> 0:07:23.960 delivering a heavy dose of fact based truth and penetrating 0:07:24.000 --> 0:07:27.520 analysis on all the top news stories focusing on racism, 0:07:27.600 --> 0:07:32.480 criminal and social justice, politics, police brutality, karents, and much more. 0:07:32.760 --> 0:07:37.920 Listeners can also expect interviews with fascinating guests, political leaders, commentators, 0:07:37.920 --> 0:07:41.520 and even fiery debates with conservatives on a wide range 0:07:41.520 --> 0:07:45.640 of policy topics. In the Bullpen, it is an indisputable 0:07:45.680 --> 0:07:49.040 fact that you will love this show. Listen to Indisputable 0:07:49.120 --> 0:07:53.040 with Doctor Rashid Ricci on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever 0:07:53.080 --> 0:07:55.640 you get your podcasts. If you like what you hear, 0:07:55.760 --> 0:08:02.480 be sure to subscribe so you never miss a new episode. 0:08:04.920 --> 0:08:08.840 It's no secret that the news is horsepill hard to swallow. Thankfully, 0:08:08.880 --> 0:08:12.760 there's The Bituation Room podcast hosted by comedian and commentator 0:08:12.880 --> 0:08:16.720 Francesca free Erantini for a lighter take on the heavy stuff. 0:08:16.760 --> 0:08:20.600 Each week, The Bituation Room brings you progressive comedians, experts, 0:08:20.600 --> 0:08:22.760 and activists to break down the issues in a way 0:08:22.800 --> 0:08:25.480 that won't just leave you crying under a weighted blanket. 0:08:25.600 --> 0:08:29.240 Get The Bituation Room on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Stitcher, and 0:08:29.400 --> 0:08:37.680 streaming on YouTube and Twitch. Folks, I am very excited 0:08:37.720 --> 0:08:41.160 to welcome to woke f Daily for the first time. 0:08:41.520 --> 0:08:46.160 Select their Vicier. I am. I am going to Butcher 0:08:46.360 --> 0:08:52.240 Butcher your your your last name Vicier, who is the 0:08:52.360 --> 0:08:57.520 host of Select the Therapist, a podcast that dives into 0:08:57.720 --> 0:09:01.560 mental health emotional well being. So let's thank you so 0:09:01.640 --> 0:09:05.520 much for taking the time to join us. I want 0:09:05.520 --> 0:09:08.880 to jump in because I am a person who believes 0:09:08.880 --> 0:09:13.760 wholeheartedly in mental health and emotional well being. I think 0:09:13.760 --> 0:09:16.520 that it is the cornerstone of everything that we are 0:09:16.559 --> 0:09:18.719 able to do. So I want to ask you how 0:09:18.760 --> 0:09:24.040 did you get started in therapy and then what prompted 0:09:24.080 --> 0:09:27.560 you to start a podcast? Thank you for having me. 0:09:27.600 --> 0:09:32.240 I'm just as excited as you are. I started as 0:09:32.240 --> 0:09:35.920 a therapist mainly because I was working at a homeless 0:09:35.920 --> 0:09:39.200 shelter when I was younger, and people will always say 0:09:39.200 --> 0:09:40.920 thank you, and I was like, why are they thank you? 0:09:40.960 --> 0:09:44.719 MA said thank you for listening. I grew up in 0:09:45.400 --> 0:09:49.880 church and was always told to pray about things, and 0:09:49.920 --> 0:09:51.959 so I went into the phild of psychology and then 0:09:52.000 --> 0:09:54.560 I learned about all the different modalities than I went 0:09:54.600 --> 0:09:58.079 to therapy myself so then I set out, I want 0:09:58.200 --> 0:10:02.800 people to learn about the different modalities of healing. So 0:10:02.840 --> 0:10:05.120 I started to go on like YouTube and periscope, and 0:10:05.200 --> 0:10:09.120 periscope was around and answer questions around mental health. And 0:10:09.160 --> 0:10:11.200 then I and people would say, oh, you're a therapist, 0:10:11.200 --> 0:10:13.000 it's easy for you, and I say, I'm human just 0:10:13.120 --> 0:10:14.840 like you. I have to do the same things I 0:10:14.880 --> 0:10:18.320 talk about. And I said, this was in twenty eighteen. 0:10:18.400 --> 0:10:22.280 I said, well, let me get other people on who 0:10:22.360 --> 0:10:25.280 are doing things to empower people, so that they can 0:10:25.320 --> 0:10:28.719 see it's not just because I'm a therapist that I'm 0:10:28.760 --> 0:10:31.240 able to deliver what I talk about or do the 0:10:31.280 --> 0:10:34.480 things that I do. And so that's the reason why 0:10:34.559 --> 0:10:37.160 I kind of went into this direction of like talking 0:10:37.200 --> 0:10:41.080 to people on my platform and just talking on social 0:10:41.120 --> 0:10:46.000 media around mental health. You know, do you think you 0:10:46.000 --> 0:10:49.840 know over the past couple of decades that mental health 0:10:50.440 --> 0:10:55.599 has become more stream mainstream, and I mean that conversations 0:10:55.840 --> 0:11:00.839 about mental health have become more mainstream. And if you agree, 0:11:01.360 --> 0:11:05.400 why do you think there's been such a ship? Yeah. 0:11:05.440 --> 0:11:10.040 When I first first started coming on social media and 0:11:11.000 --> 0:11:14.440 probably about twenty twelve thirteen, you know, I had people 0:11:14.480 --> 0:11:16.600 saying like why are you talking about that stuff? Or 0:11:17.600 --> 0:11:21.520 it wasn't it wasn't well received. But because I stay 0:11:21.600 --> 0:11:23.600 focused on my goal is the only reason why I've 0:11:23.600 --> 0:11:27.400 stayed consistent, Not because people were supporting the idea around 0:11:27.400 --> 0:11:30.240 mental health, but because I knew this is what we 0:11:30.280 --> 0:11:35.080 need it. Lately, things have become more mainstream because people 0:11:35.120 --> 0:11:38.840 are struggling one and and part of it is because 0:11:38.880 --> 0:11:41.560 we're in America and people are realizing they can make 0:11:41.600 --> 0:11:44.920 money off of people struggle, right, whether it's weight loss 0:11:45.040 --> 0:11:49.000 or or whatever, right, and so like they're realizing mental 0:11:49.040 --> 0:11:51.480 health is a big thing. So now you have all 0:11:51.520 --> 0:11:56.160 of these things being pushed, these platforms. And I'm not 0:11:56.240 --> 0:11:59.640 knocking platforms or anything, but I think that some of it, 0:12:00.040 --> 0:12:03.240 fortunately is around making the goal is to make money 0:12:03.240 --> 0:12:06.640 and not to help people heal. But I do think 0:12:06.640 --> 0:12:10.200 it's a lot more mainstream, you know, because I think that, 0:12:10.360 --> 0:12:15.680 like you know, the general medical community is you know, 0:12:15.760 --> 0:12:18.200 it's kind of like insurance. The money is not in 0:12:18.240 --> 0:12:21.680 the cure. The money is in the taking, is in 0:12:21.880 --> 0:12:26.640 the keeping of people, you know, making people just well enough. Right, 0:12:26.720 --> 0:12:29.840 it is not about wellness. It is about making sure 0:12:29.880 --> 0:12:32.880 that people are well enough so that you can continue working. 0:12:33.120 --> 0:12:35.640 That's I mean that like, that's that to me is 0:12:35.679 --> 0:12:38.600 in all honesty, That's what the goal is. And the 0:12:38.640 --> 0:12:44.920 freedom I think that mental health, practicing and emotional well being, 0:12:44.960 --> 0:12:49.720 whether it is therapy, meditation, medication, and conjunction with all 0:12:49.760 --> 0:12:54.920 of those things, UM is about not is about freedom, right, 0:12:55.040 --> 0:12:57.640 the freedom like what what does it mean to live 0:12:58.640 --> 0:13:02.160 and exist and be well? Uh? And we're not We're 0:13:02.200 --> 0:13:05.160 not taught those things. And I believe that we're not 0:13:05.240 --> 0:13:09.360 taught it for a reason. UM. And so you know 0:13:09.440 --> 0:13:14.360 when you look around now select and you see you know, 0:13:14.600 --> 0:13:16.600 there are a ton of apps, there are a ton 0:13:16.679 --> 0:13:21.160 of platforms. What do you think that people should steer 0:13:21.320 --> 0:13:24.480 towards right so as not to get caught up in 0:13:24.640 --> 0:13:28.200 the in the grind of capitalism and people trying, like 0:13:28.280 --> 0:13:30.880 you said, to profit off of your pain. What what 0:13:30.960 --> 0:13:35.240 are some of the markers of of UM assistance right 0:13:35.320 --> 0:13:38.000 in terms of apps and what have you that people 0:13:38.040 --> 0:13:40.880 should look for. Yes, I love that question because I 0:13:40.920 --> 0:13:45.400 always tell people, Uh, if you know the things I 0:13:45.440 --> 0:13:47.800 talk about a lot, especially during the pandemic. I talk 0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:51.640 about our sleep routine, UM, moving our bodies and like 0:13:51.760 --> 0:13:54.640 the food we put in our bodies, like you work 0:13:54.679 --> 0:13:57.160 on controlling that because it was with a pandemic, we 0:13:57.200 --> 0:14:00.199 didn't know what was going on. And I said, if 0:14:00.000 --> 0:14:04.600 if they had commercials around this stuff, the little things 0:14:04.600 --> 0:14:07.960 that we can do, regardless of socioeconomic status, nobody's going 0:14:08.040 --> 0:14:09.720 to get paid from it. That's why you don't see 0:14:09.760 --> 0:14:12.720 commercials that talk about, oh, are you depressed? Have you 0:14:12.760 --> 0:14:15.640 walked today? You see are you depressed? Take this medication? 0:14:16.040 --> 0:14:19.080 And it's not about me knocking medication, but it's about 0:14:19.160 --> 0:14:23.560 the trajectory and the way that America creates a system 0:14:23.640 --> 0:14:25.600 that makes you believe that in order for you to 0:14:25.640 --> 0:14:28.640 be well, you have to purchase something. And anytime I 0:14:28.720 --> 0:14:32.400 talk about whether I'm talking to my clients or especially 0:14:32.440 --> 0:14:35.920 on social media, the tools that I deliver for people 0:14:35.960 --> 0:14:38.280 to think about doing are things that are right at 0:14:38.320 --> 0:14:42.000 their fingertips. A talk about like grabbing a notebook and 0:14:42.240 --> 0:14:45.520 writing down how you're feeling or listening to something. And 0:14:45.640 --> 0:14:49.800 so I would encourage people, if they are seeing things 0:14:49.800 --> 0:14:52.800 that they don't have access to, to not feel defeated. 0:14:53.120 --> 0:14:55.880 Look at what they do have and look at what 0:14:56.120 --> 0:14:59.240 is available to them. And fortunately, a lot of times 0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:02.600 our mind isn't really solution focused in that way, because 0:15:02.840 --> 0:15:05.400 whether we're talking about mental health or the next iPhone, 0:15:05.760 --> 0:15:09.360 there's this system that we allow ourselves to be attached 0:15:09.400 --> 0:15:12.440 to that makes us believe that we need more and more, 0:15:12.560 --> 0:15:14.360 or we need this in order to be okay, when 0:15:14.360 --> 0:15:17.680 that's just not the case. You know. I will tell 0:15:17.720 --> 0:15:24.120 you that I entered into therapy. It must be five 0:15:24.360 --> 0:15:27.880 years ago, maybe it's five or six years ago, and 0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:34.320 I had been in with my ex wife in couples therapy, 0:15:34.400 --> 0:15:37.840 which had been my first real foray into therapy, and 0:15:37.880 --> 0:15:40.480 then I decided that I really wanted to have you know, 0:15:40.960 --> 0:15:44.000 therapy one on one. And I will tell you that 0:15:44.360 --> 0:15:46.840 for me and I talk about it all the time, 0:15:47.000 --> 0:15:51.520 it has been one of the most empowering and I 0:15:51.760 --> 0:15:57.200 opening relationships that I've had to deepen the relationship that 0:15:57.240 --> 0:16:02.000 I have with myself. Yeah, and to really understand my 0:16:02.120 --> 0:16:05.400 patterns right the good as well as those that I 0:16:05.400 --> 0:16:09.840 would like to shift, and you know, and recognizing that 0:16:10.360 --> 0:16:15.360 you know that unless we honestly make the decisions to 0:16:15.560 --> 0:16:19.800 truly heal, what hurts right that all we are are 0:16:19.920 --> 0:16:24.520 walking around as open wounds, meeting other open wounds, and 0:16:24.560 --> 0:16:30.160 I and and and and not really being in relationship 0:16:30.240 --> 0:16:33.120 in a way that allows us to be a healed 0:16:33.160 --> 0:16:37.440 person connecting with another healed person. What do you say 0:16:37.560 --> 0:16:45.000 to people who still have a negative connotation or understanding 0:16:45.320 --> 0:16:48.720 of what therapy is and what it is supposed to do? 0:16:48.800 --> 0:16:53.920 Because for me it was it's not a fix, all right, 0:16:54.040 --> 0:16:58.000 It's more of like, I'm deciding to go on this 0:16:58.080 --> 0:17:02.400 adventure of understanding who I am, so I understand better 0:17:02.480 --> 0:17:05.359 how I show up. But how do you express it 0:17:05.400 --> 0:17:10.119 to people? So when I went into private practice in 0:17:10.160 --> 0:17:13.960 twenty fifteen, I start to understand that therapy wasn't as accessible. 0:17:14.359 --> 0:17:17.159 I had a great experience with my first therapist. It 0:17:17.240 --> 0:17:20.399 sounds like you did as well, But I mean, my 0:17:20.480 --> 0:17:23.919 insurance change and my therapist doesn't take my insurance. I'm 0:17:23.920 --> 0:17:26.600 paying two hundred dollars a session. Who can afford that 0:17:27.400 --> 0:17:30.320 for therapy? So I first want to say, even though 0:17:30.359 --> 0:17:33.359 I believe in therapy, I also know that with the 0:17:33.400 --> 0:17:38.000 way this system works and the finances of what it 0:17:38.119 --> 0:17:43.040 costs to pay for therapy, it's not always accessible. If 0:17:43.080 --> 0:17:47.879 you do have access, right, if your first time doesn't work, 0:17:48.280 --> 0:17:51.280 try not to look at it as if it's a 0:17:51.359 --> 0:17:54.960 done deal, because every therapist different every style is different, 0:17:55.280 --> 0:17:56.920 and I tell people to look at it like you're 0:17:56.960 --> 0:18:00.320 trying on new shoes. It's not like the medical like 0:18:00.359 --> 0:18:03.320 the you go see a PCP. I don't mind if 0:18:03.359 --> 0:18:05.479 I have to see a different PCP because I'm not 0:18:05.520 --> 0:18:10.400 getting intimate details. I'm not being vulnerable. But in therapy, 0:18:10.520 --> 0:18:13.800 building that relationship takes time, and so you want to 0:18:13.800 --> 0:18:17.520 be comfortable with the person that you are seeing. And 0:18:17.600 --> 0:18:20.639 like Danielle is saying, the amount of self awareness you 0:18:20.760 --> 0:18:24.160 get because you gotta understand we're in the picture where 0:18:24.359 --> 0:18:26.760 this is. I mean, I can't see outside of the picture. 0:18:27.160 --> 0:18:31.720 So having if Danielle's my therapist, having her like be like, oh, actually, over, 0:18:31.760 --> 0:18:35.000 if you turn right, you'll actually see it. And I'm like, oh, yeah, 0:18:35.040 --> 0:18:38.360 you're right. And as much knowledge as I have the 0:18:38.359 --> 0:18:43.040 therapist that I has have, he creates this awareness that 0:18:43.400 --> 0:18:45.399 I'm like, oh yeah, I didn't see it from that angle. 0:18:45.400 --> 0:18:48.560 And I'm a very self aware of person. So if 0:18:48.600 --> 0:18:52.560 you do have the ability to have a therapist, I 0:18:52.600 --> 0:18:55.320 think it's great, And I just want to encourage people 0:18:55.359 --> 0:18:58.920 not to look at it as a one size fits 0:18:59.000 --> 0:19:02.439 all or I have a therapist and that's it. But 0:19:02.480 --> 0:19:04.000 you got to look at the other things you're doing 0:19:04.040 --> 0:19:08.800 outside of therapy. Yeah, I've had people say that therapy 0:19:09.240 --> 0:19:11.760 I like your analogy of trying on shoes. People have 0:19:11.800 --> 0:19:14.439 said therapy is like dating, right. You know, you know, 0:19:14.560 --> 0:19:16.879 some people are very fortunate on the first date that 0:19:16.920 --> 0:19:19.919 they go on, they you know, they meet the person 0:19:20.040 --> 0:19:22.000 that they're that they want to be with. There are 0:19:22.000 --> 0:19:24.679 other people that, you know, they need to continue dating 0:19:24.800 --> 0:19:27.280 and until they find the right fit. And so that 0:19:27.320 --> 0:19:30.919 to me, UM was also a really good uh analogy, 0:19:30.960 --> 0:19:35.000 because you don't just say oh, well, I'm done, especially 0:19:37.040 --> 0:19:40.200 hey like I'm finished, you know, I'm I'm ana walk 0:19:40.240 --> 0:19:45.639 around barefoot. That's not that's not what we're doing here, UM. 0:19:46.359 --> 0:19:49.320 And so I I I love that because I think 0:19:49.359 --> 0:19:52.640 that for a lot of people it helps um take 0:19:52.720 --> 0:19:56.359 down the anxiety a bit of what it is that 0:19:56.480 --> 0:19:59.639 they think, um it is, versus how it ends up 0:19:59.640 --> 0:20:02.560 working out. But I want to ask you this, you know, 0:20:03.119 --> 0:20:05.200 and we talked about this a little bit at the top, 0:20:05.240 --> 0:20:08.560 and I want to dig in deeper now, which is, 0:20:08.880 --> 0:20:11.720 you know, for the past two plus years, so lest 0:20:11.800 --> 0:20:15.159 we have been living inside of one trauma after another. 0:20:16.160 --> 0:20:19.240 I listened to a therapist on I think it was 0:20:19.280 --> 0:20:23.320 a morning show that said that what we are experiencing 0:20:23.480 --> 0:20:30.080 is compacted or compounded excuse me, trauma. Where you started 0:20:30.080 --> 0:20:34.600 out with the instability of our government. On top of that, 0:20:34.680 --> 0:20:38.480 you added in COVID, then you added in a series 0:20:38.760 --> 0:20:43.080 of you know, COVID, more instability, anger, rage. Now we 0:20:43.160 --> 0:20:47.880 have monkey pocks, right, they are shootings on a regular basis. 0:20:48.040 --> 0:20:52.120 Now that we're back in society, there is there's climate 0:20:52.200 --> 0:20:55.879 change and climate disaster that is happening. You know, whether 0:20:56.160 --> 0:20:59.359 you're underwater or on fire, or can't breathe because the 0:20:59.440 --> 0:21:06.160 aerosop louted. It's one thing after another. People are I mean, 0:21:06.200 --> 0:21:09.480 we're seeing I just watched the other day this road 0:21:09.640 --> 0:21:14.239 rage incident that was absolutely insane, right, Like it was 0:21:14.480 --> 0:21:19.000 a turned into like almost vehicular homicide in terms of 0:21:19.040 --> 0:21:25.360 what the reactions from the people. So everyone is on edge, right, 0:21:25.960 --> 0:21:31.199 how do you talk to people about even trying to 0:21:31.240 --> 0:21:35.640 put a finger on what is causing them so much 0:21:35.720 --> 0:21:39.520 angst and anxiety? Right, because it's so much. It isn't 0:21:39.520 --> 0:21:42.320 just one thing, it's a lot of different things. And 0:21:42.400 --> 0:21:46.280 so how are you guiding people, helping them navigate through 0:21:46.320 --> 0:21:52.679 these times? Yeah, great question. I believe that when we 0:21:52.760 --> 0:21:57.040 are in the moment, we can work on creating peace 0:21:57.080 --> 0:22:00.359 in our lives despite what's happening around us. But in 0:22:00.440 --> 0:22:03.280 order for that to happen, we have to uncover what's 0:22:03.320 --> 0:22:07.800 going on. Earlier, you talked about the importance of healing 0:22:07.840 --> 0:22:11.600 and how you're not basically like you're essentially bleeding out 0:22:11.960 --> 0:22:15.840 and surviving life when you're not working on your healing process. 0:22:16.800 --> 0:22:19.920 And sometimes it can be like years and years of 0:22:19.960 --> 0:22:23.120 things to unpack. So it's not like when time sit 0:22:23.200 --> 0:22:25.719 down thing. So you got all your own trauma on 0:22:25.760 --> 0:22:28.760 top of the society stuff that's happening that we are 0:22:28.800 --> 0:22:32.080 impacted by that we're seeing on a regular basis. And 0:22:32.119 --> 0:22:36.600 so when I'm working with people, I am extremely big 0:22:36.640 --> 0:22:40.439 on what's happening right now. What happens when there's like 0:22:40.920 --> 0:22:43.600 a trauma on top of trauma that has not been 0:22:43.800 --> 0:22:49.159 a processed. The emotion that you experience, if it's a 0:22:49.240 --> 0:22:52.679 familiar emotion, your system feels like it's back in that time, 0:22:53.400 --> 0:22:56.280 and you really feel like a victim. You really feel 0:22:56.320 --> 0:22:58.719 like you have no power, You really feel like there 0:22:58.720 --> 0:23:01.640 are no options, like you literally we feel stuck, especially 0:23:01.640 --> 0:23:04.960 if trauma took place as a young child, and as 0:23:05.000 --> 0:23:08.040 a child, we didn't have options. And so when I'm 0:23:08.080 --> 0:23:12.480 working with adults, I am big on asking them how 0:23:12.480 --> 0:23:15.800 are they feeling and bringing up an emotion chart so 0:23:15.840 --> 0:23:17.560 they can look at it. And then I'm feeling this 0:23:17.720 --> 0:23:20.520 because not I am anxious, not I am sad, I 0:23:20.560 --> 0:23:24.760 feel sad. I feel anxious because there's something powerful about 0:23:24.800 --> 0:23:28.359 being able to name what you are feeling and also 0:23:29.520 --> 0:23:32.639 talk about why it's happening, because then your mind can 0:23:32.680 --> 0:23:34.639 be like, oh, okay, we're not ten, it's not this 0:23:34.760 --> 0:23:38.600 traumatic thing anymore because that emotion is so familiar to us. 0:23:39.280 --> 0:23:42.280 And so the more we begin to unpack and like 0:23:42.359 --> 0:23:45.640 get into the nitty gritty, like I feel anxious because 0:23:45.760 --> 0:23:48.440 like I don't have a job, I don't know where 0:23:48.480 --> 0:23:51.800 my next meal is coming from. It doesn't change the 0:23:51.840 --> 0:23:54.960 fact that you don't have your next meal. But then 0:23:55.000 --> 0:23:56.800 I can try to get into a solution mode to 0:23:57.000 --> 0:23:59.040 plan for it. Maybe I can look and see if 0:23:59.040 --> 0:24:01.640 there's any pantries, maybe I can borrow it. But it's 0:24:01.640 --> 0:24:03.720 hard to get into solution focus mode when you're just 0:24:03.800 --> 0:24:06.760 like I'm anxious, and then that's it. So your system 0:24:06.800 --> 0:24:08.840 and your mind is like Okay, I guess we're anxious 0:24:08.840 --> 0:24:11.440 to less. That's what we're doing. Our mind is believing 0:24:11.480 --> 0:24:13.679 what we tell what would tell it what we tell it, 0:24:14.200 --> 0:24:17.399 whether we're in tune with our thoughts or not. And 0:24:17.440 --> 0:24:19.960 so for me and what I talk to people about 0:24:20.040 --> 0:24:23.160 is being intentional about your day to day. So I'm 0:24:23.160 --> 0:24:26.560 big on paying attention to what I expose myself to visually, 0:24:26.920 --> 0:24:30.040