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Speaker 1: You don't hear me confession.

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Speaker 2: I can't take that.

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Speaker 3: Ol arm mouse speak.

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Speaker 1: Text to seventy five nine to two says whenever I

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Speaker 1: use an emoji, I've noticed that I make the actual

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Speaker 1: face using my face and hold it while I search

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Speaker 1: for the right little picture.

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Speaker 2: I wonder, avit you that that I don't know? Oh

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Speaker 2: my god, I'm gon overanalyze my emoji.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and justin you don't want to know what face

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Speaker 1: we make when the listeners are telling us their secrets

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Speaker 1: here in the speaker.

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Speaker 2: I think you can imagine what it sounds.

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Speaker 1: Smirky, aroused face. Maybe you'll never know, but we do

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Speaker 1: enjoy every juicy little second of your confessions. And I'm

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Speaker 1: sure it's going to be the same with today's listener,

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Speaker 1: who's chosen to go by the fake name Crystal today.

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Speaker 1: So Crystal, welcome to the shows.

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Speaker 2: You can't tell from that one word what face you're

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Speaker 2: making it.

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Speaker 1: Okay, a little giggle? Okay, Well, the voice changer is on, Crystal.

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Speaker 1: You are the mass speaker. Whenever you're ready, let's hear

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Speaker 1: your confession.

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Speaker 3: Okay. So I hope people don't think that I'm a

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Speaker 3: total weirdo.

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Speaker 2: Oh we like weirdos. That's not a bad thing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, let's go.

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Speaker 2: What do you got this weird Crystal?

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Speaker 1: Go weird on us?

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Speaker 3: So basically this all started when I took a fork

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Speaker 3: home from a guy's place. Accidentally a fork. Yeah, accidentally

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Speaker 3: take a fork home? Well after we went on a date.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, and you stayed the night. Is like it

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Speaker 2: was at his house, so you took it.

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Speaker 3: From Yeah we had some takeout food if it was

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Speaker 3: in my box.

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Speaker 2: Oh okay, that makes sense. You take your to go

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Speaker 2: box with you and you accidentally bring the fork along.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't think.

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Speaker 2: That's a big crime that you should feel really bad.

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Speaker 1: We don't think I'm a terrible person for this.

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Speaker 3: I mean I'm not. Then, so a couple of months later,

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Speaker 3: I was hanging out with somebody else and I wound

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Speaker 3: up with one of his forks.

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Speaker 2: All right, Now, was that on purpose or because that

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Speaker 2: little laugh sounds like he got him?

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Speaker 3: That was not planned? It was?

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Speaker 2: Okay, what do you do when you get up from

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Speaker 2: a table you get talking and get my phone, my keys,

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Speaker 2: the forks?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? What do you grab? Some cups in there.

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Speaker 2: And everything in your pockets and now you have two

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Speaker 2: dudes forks.

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Speaker 3: It truly was truly an accidental.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, you can be forgiven for that.

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Speaker 3: Now I have two forks from two different men. Uh okay.

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Speaker 3: So I was just like in my kitchen and I

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Speaker 3: was just like, huh, this funny. If I got a

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Speaker 3: full sick.

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Speaker 1: Oh oh okay, wait the gears started turning.

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Speaker 2: Now it feels like you're forking people.

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Speaker 3: Oh so now that was three years ago. Okay, now

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Speaker 3: it became a thing.

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Speaker 2: Wait, every guy that you went on on a date

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Speaker 2: with you tried to take one of his forks.

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Speaker 3: You know whatever. I would hang out with a new guy,

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Speaker 3: I would sneak into his kitchen and I would take

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Speaker 3: like a fork or a spoon and a night or

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Speaker 3: something other that's slipping in my personal This is scary.

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Speaker 2: I'm a foodie.

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Speaker 1: I have like lightsaber, chopsticks and some cool.

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Speaker 2: You're scared wading through my back.

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Speaker 3: So I think I'm like, she should go for her friends,

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Speaker 3: not the guys houses shoot her stuff.

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Speaker 1: We don't know.

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Speaker 2: We don't have like silverware, like no silver I think

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Speaker 2: this is so funny.

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Speaker 3: My silverware drawer is now made up of random xs.

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Speaker 3: Random guys are going on a couple of days blips.

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Speaker 2: It's kind of like you set the table and it's

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Speaker 2: all love momentos.

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Speaker 3: Think people are like, oh my gosh, we really like

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Speaker 3: your aquatic.

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Speaker 1: Why does nothing match in your silverware drawer? It's kind

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Speaker 1: of fun.

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Speaker 3: I'm like, I've got forks, knives, spoons, I've got solid tongue.

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Speaker 3: That's valid.

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Speaker 1: Day one guy took you out a date, you got

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Speaker 1: a little oyster fork.

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Speaker 2: And the guys are probably like, oh, yeah, she wants

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Speaker 2: to go back to my place. Little do they know

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Speaker 2: it's all part of her master plant to just grab

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Speaker 2: some cutlery.

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Speaker 1: I couldn't get her to my bed, but I got

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Speaker 1: her to the kitchen. Most women like want to steal

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Speaker 1: like sweatshirts from a guy, but she's like, no, no, no,

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Speaker 1: I want a soup spoon.

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Speaker 2: This is much more logical.

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Speaker 3: I'm so.

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Speaker 2: Especially it's one of those silicod There's.

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Speaker 3: This one where he was obsessed with Martha Stewart. The guy, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: so I stole his mini spoon and I'll sit around

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Speaker 3: and I'll eat my yogurt with it and I'll just

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Speaker 3: think of Martha. This is so corpet.

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Speaker 2: Wait are you in a relationship now, curtly.

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Speaker 3: No, I'm out seeking.

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Speaker 2: Okay, if you find a serious relationship, are you going

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Speaker 2: to have to give up your silverware set?

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Speaker 1: Or is that how he proposes with a gold fork?

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Speaker 2: Do you keep it a secret?

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Speaker 3: No, I've got to keep all my uteful too. Funny

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Speaker 3: this one dude. I'll look at my spaghetti fork and

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Speaker 3: things like that, and I'm like, oh, that was from

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Speaker 3: the dude who I had pictures of wool as his

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Speaker 3: bed sheep.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, wow impressive.

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Speaker 1: Have you ever gotten caught trying to steal silverware from

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Speaker 1: a guy before?

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Speaker 2: Yes?

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Speaker 3: One time.

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Speaker 2: One time, like one of those square ones that kind

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Speaker 2: of sit up real tall, and I was.

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Speaker 3: Like, oh, my gosh, I thought that was my phone.

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Speaker 3: I'm so drunk.

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Speaker 2: I thought it was my phone.

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Speaker 1: I don't wonder my face is all torn up. You're

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Speaker 1: mandolin to shifting, nod some zucchinis, potatoeler.

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Speaker 2: What's funny is if this was me, I would tell

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Speaker 2: all of my girlfriends and we would have dinner. Everybody

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Speaker 2: do it. I mean, it's such good dinner party conversation.

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Speaker 3: You steal a fork from different guys and join up.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and then it's fork stories. Yes, the problem is

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Speaker 2: the men can't get the idea and do it back.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, our stuff is better.

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Speaker 3: We should make it a competition. Youse get the best stuff.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Crystal, I mean good luck in your collection that

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Speaker 1: you're assembling for yourself. You're like Little Mermaid.

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Speaker 2: But I hope you make fourth.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's hilarious. Text in the seven eight, five nine too.

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Speaker 1: If you have a confession you've been holding on two

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Speaker 1: week in hyd your identity, mask your voice, and make

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Speaker 1: you our next mass speaker. Your photo TAP's coming up

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Speaker 1: right after this.

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Speaker 2: Brook and Jeffrey in the morning