WEBVTT - Jensen McRae

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<v Speaker 1>Pushkin. Jensen McRae writes songs that cut straight to the bone,

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<v Speaker 1>intimate examinations of identity, relationships, and the complexities of coming

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<v Speaker 1>of age in today's world. Since releasing her debut EP

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<v Speaker 1>Who Hurt You in twenty twenty one, she's garnered attention

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<v Speaker 1>for her literary approach to songwriting and her ability to

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<v Speaker 1>balance vulnerability with sharp observation. Her music often grapples with

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<v Speaker 1>difficult subjects, navigating mixed race identity, processing, heartbreak, and confronting

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<v Speaker 1>the uncomfortable truths we tell ourselves, but there's also a

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<v Speaker 1>warmth and humor in her work, which can be heard

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<v Speaker 1>in this episode when she performs three songs Savannah, White Boy,

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<v Speaker 1>and let Me Be Wrong from her new album I

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<v Speaker 1>Don't Know How but They've Found Me. On today's episode,

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<v Speaker 1>I talked to Jensen McCray about her journey as an artist,

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<v Speaker 1>why she gravitates towards niche communities online on Reddit, and

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<v Speaker 1>her list of goals that include both winning the Grammy

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<v Speaker 1>for Album of the Year and the mayoral run in

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<v Speaker 1>our native Los Angeles. This is broken record, real musicians,

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<v Speaker 1>real conversations. Here's my conversation with Jensen McCrae, where she

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<v Speaker 1>begins things with a live rendition of her song, Savannah, there.

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<v Speaker 2>Is an inner section in your college town.

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<v Speaker 3>WI your name, honing with your name morning.

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<v Speaker 2>You are said he couldn't wait to take them, should

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<v Speaker 2>have been Honor.

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<v Speaker 4>Calls you out, honor.

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<v Speaker 2>Disass side from God and archred l your fly.

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<v Speaker 4>See him in wad.

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<v Speaker 2>You try start to fly your curbridgesy saving LANDA well,

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<v Speaker 2>no under you, ask man of HAMI someone new.

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<v Speaker 4>Um to sup.

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<v Speaker 5>Here is a boy in out loud in on theth.

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<v Speaker 4>A bloody face.

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<v Speaker 6>Come you were tied embombing.

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<v Speaker 5>You swore raise our kidstand just like you with your

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<v Speaker 5>fast crafting. That's a goddamn commense.

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<v Speaker 4>Sassy side from.

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<v Speaker 6>God and archerd l on by You see him in

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<v Speaker 6>water n you try start by the bridges.

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<v Speaker 4>He's standing leader.

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<v Speaker 5>Well, no one under you, hossman of coming left someone

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<v Speaker 5>new ungoing to Supana. Come I hear it's hot and

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<v Speaker 5>the greatest ride his head le is away.

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<v Speaker 4>He used to up.

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<v Speaker 5>It's twenty one, he used to call those swim bitches.

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<v Speaker 4>Did in you if you're the sweet like honeydew.

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<v Speaker 5>Shvy how to talk to bus pass his side from.

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<v Speaker 4>Her Trey Lyley on why.

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<v Speaker 1>You See.

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<v Speaker 2>It?

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<v Speaker 5>Tried to start a fire for bridges, he stabbing Leanna,

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<v Speaker 5>you lost me?

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<v Speaker 4>So you want manner? Coming love with someone new, Come

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<v Speaker 4>in to Survivana, Go.

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<v Speaker 3>To Surveveano, Go went to Sana, Go.

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<v Speaker 1>To oh Man, so good, thank you oh Man. What

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<v Speaker 1>how did that song start?

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<v Speaker 4>Well?

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<v Speaker 7>I wrote it a week after my first album came out,

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<v Speaker 7>and so I wasn't in the head space of necessarily

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<v Speaker 7>knowing or thinking about what I was making. But I

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<v Speaker 7>had this very weird thing happened to me where I

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<v Speaker 7>had two boyfriends in a row asked me to go

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<v Speaker 7>with them to Savannah.

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<v Speaker 8>Georgia, which is I have very Wrongnah?

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<v Speaker 7>No, they just both had reason to go and wanted

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<v Speaker 7>me to go with them, and I had never thought

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<v Speaker 7>about it before, and I just I didn't go with

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<v Speaker 7>the first one. But before I went with the second one,

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<v Speaker 7>I just started thinking about the city and its history,

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<v Speaker 7>and I found out how haunted it, and I just

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<v Speaker 7>started thinking about ghosts in the past, and I wrote

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<v Speaker 7>about how it feels to not be able to outrun

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<v Speaker 7>your best.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow, your first album was Are you happy now? You

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<v Speaker 1>wrote that? I mean you wrote that right after the

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<v Speaker 1>First Time come out? Were you happy after the First

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<v Speaker 1>Time came about?

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<v Speaker 5>Uh?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I was. I was.

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<v Speaker 7>I mean, I was relieved more than anything because I'd

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<v Speaker 7>been sitting on that album for three years and I

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<v Speaker 7>made it between the ages right about twenty one twenty two.

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<v Speaker 7>That was when I was making it, and then I

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<v Speaker 7>was twenty four when it came out, and I just

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<v Speaker 7>felt like I had already changed so much and I

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<v Speaker 7>was really happy to be telling that story, relieved that

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<v Speaker 7>it was finally out of my hands and into other

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<v Speaker 7>people's hands, and just really excited about being able to

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<v Speaker 7>tour it and see the world as a result of it.

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<v Speaker 1>Is that is that because a lot of people will

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<v Speaker 1>release a record, even if it's one they've been sin

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<v Speaker 1>on for a while, but release it and it's just

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<v Speaker 1>like there's not a lot of writing going on like

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<v Speaker 1>immediately after. But is that, like is that part of

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<v Speaker 1>a feature of your personality? Like are you? Are you

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<v Speaker 1>always onto the next thing? Is that? Or was it

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<v Speaker 1>that just happened?

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<v Speaker 7>I'd say generally, it's interesting because in the aftermath of

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<v Speaker 7>this most recent album, I definitely have not felt like

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<v Speaker 7>I have as much time to write. I've written a

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<v Speaker 7>little bit, but after the first album came out, I

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<v Speaker 7>felt like I was still really going, Like it felt

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<v Speaker 7>like the writing process was just not done. But also

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<v Speaker 7>a big difference is that, like my audience is a

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<v Speaker 7>lot bigger now. The rollout of this album has been

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<v Speaker 7>met with more fanfare, so like I have a lot

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<v Speaker 7>more press obligations.

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<v Speaker 8>I want more touring obligations. So I'm just like not

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<v Speaker 8>home in the way that I was three years ago.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, So Savannah, you so you're asked two times by

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<v Speaker 1>two different people. Did you write that before you went,

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<v Speaker 1>like as you were learning about it? Or did did

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<v Speaker 1>you rewrite anything after you went? Did you end up going?

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<v Speaker 8>I did end up going, and I didn't rewrite anything.

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<v Speaker 7>It still felt I mean, I definitely heard the voice

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<v Speaker 7>memo in my head while I was there, but it

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<v Speaker 7>felt very apt even after I actually ended up going,

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<v Speaker 7>felt accurate.

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<v Speaker 1>And what happened with did did? Why were you there?

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<v Speaker 8>It was it was for a work trip.

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<v Speaker 7>Coincidentally, he was just gonna be in Savannah, and he

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<v Speaker 7>asked if I wanted to visit him while he was there,

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<v Speaker 7>and I was like, I think I have to go

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<v Speaker 7>because I've been asked now twice, and I think I

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<v Speaker 7>have to see this place.

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<v Speaker 1>That's amazing.

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<v Speaker 7>People were very A lot of people ask me about

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<v Speaker 7>like why Savannah, and it is a very odd story,

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<v Speaker 7>and I think it is a really special city. Like

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<v Speaker 7>I mean, ghost tours are like a big part of

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<v Speaker 7>the attraction of the city, and like there's I mean

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<v Speaker 7>there's so many like bachelorette Like while I was there,

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<v Speaker 7>I saw a wedding and a bachelorette party, and I

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<v Speaker 7>think then we were joking like, oh, we have to

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<v Speaker 7>see a proposal and divorce and then we'll have the.

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<v Speaker 8>Full the full set.

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<v Speaker 7>And yeah, it's super humid, like obviously, like I remember

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<v Speaker 7>when I got there, like I felt like I was

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<v Speaker 7>swimming standing up because it was just like the air

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<v Speaker 7>was just so thick, and like that'll just make you

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<v Speaker 7>feel feelings like when you're in intense weather like that,

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<v Speaker 7>like it just stirs up I think, strong emotions and everybody.

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<v Speaker 1>It makes you feel well, alive, you're dead or something

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<v Speaker 1>with it's like you're like absolutely something can go wrong. Perhaps, yes,

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<v Speaker 1>that's pretty wrong. Yeah, did you write anything while they're

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<v Speaker 1>like based on.

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<v Speaker 8>I don't think I did.

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<v Speaker 7>I don't think I did, but I feel like I'd

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<v Speaker 7>probably go back, And I remember thinking being there and

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<v Speaker 7>also being in a lot of other cities I've visited

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<v Speaker 7>on tour, like these smaller towns are very conducive to writing.

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<v Speaker 7>I think I think it would be good to do

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<v Speaker 7>like a writing retreat at some point, like get an

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<v Speaker 7>Airbnb and just like hole up somewhere and try to

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<v Speaker 7>write as much as possible. Yeah, because there's not as

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<v Speaker 7>much noise and as much distraction as there is in

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<v Speaker 7>a place like La.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's weird growing up in LA and then going

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<v Speaker 1>to other places where you realize like, oh, like you

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<v Speaker 1>know your friends will be from other places than you go,

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<v Speaker 1>and you realize like, wow, I really grew up in

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<v Speaker 1>a place that was not normal.

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<v Speaker 8>Yeah, Like I have that realization so much.

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<v Speaker 1>When did when did you first start getting outside of

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<v Speaker 1>out of outside of LA for music?

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<v Speaker 7>It didn't start until really until twenty twenty two, because

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<v Speaker 7>I grew up in LA and and then I went

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<v Speaker 7>to music school for college in LA and then a

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<v Speaker 7>year after I graduated, the pandemic started, and so I

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<v Speaker 7>wasn't touring at all or going anywhere, And so I

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<v Speaker 7>started touring in twenty twenty two and that was when

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<v Speaker 7>I started really meaningfully playing music in other places. And yeah,

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<v Speaker 7>I just really saw the contrast of where I grew

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<v Speaker 7>up with everywhere else. Like obviously there's just like the

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<v Speaker 7>pace and the population, but it's just like the way

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<v Speaker 7>people carry themselves. Like I always heard people say that

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<v Speaker 7>LA was a place of you know, a lot of

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<v Speaker 7>posturing and like a lot of people being fake. And

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<v Speaker 7>I never understood it because, like, I know so many great,

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<v Speaker 7>down to earth, authentic people in LA. But then I

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<v Speaker 7>went to other places and I was like, oh, people

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<v Speaker 7>are not putting on airs to go to the grocery store.

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<v Speaker 7>Like people are not They're just not as obsessed about

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<v Speaker 7>appearances and other places as they are here. And I realized,

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<v Speaker 7>like how that probably took a psychic toll on me

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<v Speaker 7>as a teenager in a way that I didn't comprehend

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<v Speaker 7>until I was an adult.

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<v Speaker 1>No, it's true. I even I like I live. I

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<v Speaker 1>moved to Long Beach, and even just being like a

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<v Speaker 1>little outside of the city, You're like, yo, like it's

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<v Speaker 1>a very different way, Like nobody gives a fuck question

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<v Speaker 1>at the grocery store, you know, as an example, like

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<v Speaker 1>you just you can go in your pajama's at the

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<v Speaker 1>grocery store and not feel like, yeah, it's a different

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<v Speaker 1>way of it's probably a healthier way of living.

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<v Speaker 7>Probably, yeah, But I do have an appreciation for having

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<v Speaker 7>grown up in LA for all of the for all

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<v Speaker 7>of its flaws. Like I'm such an LA apologist. I love, love,

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<v Speaker 7>love Los Angeles.

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<v Speaker 1>What do you love about it?

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<v Speaker 7>Well, I mean the weather is obviously a huge part

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<v Speaker 7>of it, and there's just something about the air, which

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<v Speaker 7>some people would say it is pollution, but I like

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<v Speaker 7>there's something about the air and the light that's just

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<v Speaker 7>like very comforting to me. And it feels like there's

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<v Speaker 7>just so much possibility, maybe because the city is so

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<v Speaker 7>spread out and it's so many neighborhoods, like it feels

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<v Speaker 7>like it never ends. And it feels like even though

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<v Speaker 7>I've lived here my whole life, there's still so much

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<v Speaker 7>I haven't explored. And I love that feeling of like endlessness.

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<v Speaker 7>And also my whole family lives here, so it just

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<v Speaker 7>feels very comforting to know that, like my brothers and

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<v Speaker 7>my parents are just a drive away, Like I find.

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<v Speaker 1>I just love like one thing you dislike about LA.

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<v Speaker 9>I mean, the.

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<v Speaker 8>Traffic obviously is bad. That's a gimme, Yeah, that's anything

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<v Speaker 8>else I don't like.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't like.

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<v Speaker 7>I guess I don't like the ways and even though

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<v Speaker 7>I do, I love my air one and I love

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<v Speaker 7>the growth, I don't like the ways in which that

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<v Speaker 7>has become representative for the entire city because like people

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<v Speaker 7>are always shocked, for example, to find out that I'm

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<v Speaker 7>from here, and I think it's because I'm not like

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<v Speaker 7>a white woman with blonde hair drinking kale juice. But

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<v Speaker 7>it's like I'm a black woman drinking kale juice first

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<v Speaker 7>of all, and like there's just so much there's just

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<v Speaker 7>so much diversity, Like I love, like I love hearing Spanish,

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<v Speaker 7>Like that's another thing I love about like.

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<v Speaker 1>Places. Yes, yeah, I miss.

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<v Speaker 7>Hearing Spanish when I leave, and like there it just

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<v Speaker 7>it makes me sad when people write I guess maybe

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<v Speaker 7>this isn't a thing I just like about LA. But

0:12:47.396 --> 0:12:49.756
<v Speaker 7>people saying that they hate LA because they're like, oh,

0:12:49.796 --> 0:12:53.316
<v Speaker 7>I don't like influencers or like I don't like fake people,

0:12:53.476 --> 0:12:55.996
<v Speaker 7>or I don't like the entertainment industry, and I'm like,

0:12:56.676 --> 0:12:58.756
<v Speaker 7>even the things you dislike about it are more complex

0:12:58.836 --> 0:13:01.396
<v Speaker 7>than you're realizing. They are lovely influencers and lovely people

0:13:01.436 --> 0:13:04.356
<v Speaker 7>in the entertainment industry, and I've met them and like, yeah,

0:13:04.396 --> 0:13:07.556
<v Speaker 7>I I it disappoints me when people allow their vision

0:13:07.596 --> 0:13:10.796
<v Speaker 7>of LA to be super one dimensional and stereotypical, when

0:13:10.836 --> 0:13:13.156
<v Speaker 7>there's just so much depth to living here.

0:13:13.396 --> 0:13:17.956
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, agreed, Well, well said, thank you, and.

0:13:18.436 --> 0:13:21.636
<v Speaker 8>Listen when I run for mayor what then, Wow, I

0:13:21.676 --> 0:13:23.396
<v Speaker 8>would vote for you, Thank you, thank you.

0:13:23.796 --> 0:13:24.796
<v Speaker 1>Wait, we could use it.

0:13:25.956 --> 0:13:28.436
<v Speaker 8>I'm scheming. I'm plotting and scheming in you know, in

0:13:28.596 --> 0:13:29.476
<v Speaker 8>like fifteen years.

0:13:30.156 --> 0:13:32.556
<v Speaker 7>That's on the it's on the vision board job. I mean,

0:13:32.596 --> 0:13:34.556
<v Speaker 7>I'm like, it's kind of a joke, but also it's real.

0:13:35.356 --> 0:13:37.876
<v Speaker 1>There's a party that would like to run from Really.

0:13:38.156 --> 0:13:40.436
<v Speaker 8>Everyone tells me not to, but I'm still thinking about it.

0:13:41.236 --> 0:13:42.556
<v Speaker 1>When did that? When did that start?

0:13:43.476 --> 0:13:45.116
<v Speaker 7>I just love LA so much and I have so

0:13:45.196 --> 0:13:47.556
<v Speaker 7>many great ideas. And I don't want to be the

0:13:47.596 --> 0:13:49.436
<v Speaker 7>president because that's too much work. But I want to

0:13:49.476 --> 0:13:50.796
<v Speaker 7>be the president when I was a child because I'm

0:13:50.796 --> 0:13:54.356
<v Speaker 7>a natural leader, and I would love I would love

0:13:54.956 --> 0:13:56.436
<v Speaker 7>to be the mayor of Los Angeles and see if

0:13:56.436 --> 0:13:58.876
<v Speaker 7>I can implement some of those ideas. But then, of

0:13:58.916 --> 0:14:00.676
<v Speaker 7>course people are like well, if you just become rich

0:14:00.756 --> 0:14:02.836
<v Speaker 7>and famous, you can implement your ideas without having to

0:14:02.916 --> 0:14:04.956
<v Speaker 7>go through the red tape of politics, which is maybe

0:14:05.116 --> 0:14:07.236
<v Speaker 7>very well be true. But I just I'm not ruling

0:14:07.276 --> 0:14:08.756
<v Speaker 7>out a mayor all run when I'm older.

0:14:08.796 --> 0:14:09.796
<v Speaker 8>I don't want to do it now. I have too

0:14:09.876 --> 0:14:10.396
<v Speaker 8>much music to do.

0:14:10.516 --> 0:14:12.156
<v Speaker 1>But it's more than to put it on the table

0:14:12.196 --> 0:14:15.236
<v Speaker 1>so people aren't like surprised when it happened huge like

0:14:15.356 --> 0:14:17.596
<v Speaker 1>Arnold farzeneggeror sounds like just from the beginning to say

0:14:17.636 --> 0:14:19.476
<v Speaker 1>like I don't want to. I'm going to marry into

0:14:19.476 --> 0:14:23.076
<v Speaker 1>the Kennedy family so I can. It's certainly not that, no,

0:14:24.476 --> 0:14:25.836
<v Speaker 1>I mean, it's unseems cool. I don't know.

0:14:25.996 --> 0:14:27.956
<v Speaker 8>No, I don't want to know. It'll be It'll be

0:14:28.036 --> 0:14:30.356
<v Speaker 8>my political agenda will not be a marriage, but not

0:14:30.436 --> 0:14:31.436
<v Speaker 8>be a marriage of politics.

0:14:32.116 --> 0:14:33.636
<v Speaker 1>I don't want to get too derailed by this. But

0:14:33.676 --> 0:14:35.356
<v Speaker 1>what are your ideas to fix? Well?

0:14:35.356 --> 0:14:37.116
<v Speaker 7>I want there to be a fleet of electric buses

0:14:37.196 --> 0:14:39.516
<v Speaker 7>that get implemented, because I don't think I love the metro.

0:14:39.636 --> 0:14:41.956
<v Speaker 8>I took it in college actually, but.

0:14:42.036 --> 0:14:44.956
<v Speaker 7>It'd be it's really really hard on people's commutes to

0:14:45.036 --> 0:14:47.396
<v Speaker 7>be adding more metro lines, and I think one day

0:14:47.436 --> 0:14:49.036
<v Speaker 7>that is the vision. But I think in the meantime,

0:14:49.076 --> 0:14:51.196
<v Speaker 7>if we just get a fleet of super clean electric

0:14:51.276 --> 0:14:53.516
<v Speaker 7>buses that are on the street, and we just overrun

0:14:53.556 --> 0:14:55.716
<v Speaker 7>the street so that people will just become so inconvenienced

0:14:55.716 --> 0:14:57.356
<v Speaker 7>by driving that they'll just get on the super clean

0:14:57.396 --> 0:14:58.236
<v Speaker 7>new electric.

0:14:57.916 --> 0:15:01.396
<v Speaker 1>Bus because the buses are slowing down there.

0:15:01.316 --> 0:15:03.396
<v Speaker 8>There's but also because the buses look cool, they'll be

0:15:03.476 --> 0:15:04.196
<v Speaker 8>nice and brand new.

0:15:04.716 --> 0:15:07.156
<v Speaker 1>To your point, though, LA is so big, it is

0:15:07.196 --> 0:15:09.836
<v Speaker 1>so big, Like you know, off, I don't know where

0:15:09.836 --> 0:15:11.716
<v Speaker 1>you live. Let's say you're in Santa Monica. You know

0:15:11.996 --> 0:15:14.436
<v Speaker 1>it's not but it's not weird living here to be

0:15:14.476 --> 0:15:16.716
<v Speaker 1>like I'm going to go drive to like, you know,

0:15:16.916 --> 0:15:21.236
<v Speaker 1>to the Huntington on a Saturday afternoon. Oh yeah, are

0:15:21.236 --> 0:15:23.316
<v Speaker 1>you going to take the bus from Santa Monica to

0:15:23.356 --> 0:15:24.196
<v Speaker 1>the Huntington.

0:15:23.916 --> 0:15:25.836
<v Speaker 8>Ever, Well, I don't know that. I don't know.

0:15:25.916 --> 0:15:27.676
<v Speaker 7>I think we still will have cars, but I think

0:15:27.716 --> 0:15:29.756
<v Speaker 7>it should be a thing where like that's what cars

0:15:29.756 --> 0:15:31.876
<v Speaker 7>are for, is for when you're making the big cross

0:15:32.076 --> 0:15:34.356
<v Speaker 7>La Trek, but when you're in like your immediate neighbor,

0:15:34.476 --> 0:15:35.916
<v Speaker 7>like if you live in Echo Park, like and you

0:15:36.036 --> 0:15:37.476
<v Speaker 7>just want to go to Silver La or Los Felis,

0:15:37.516 --> 0:15:38.836
<v Speaker 7>like you should be able to hop on a really

0:15:38.916 --> 0:15:41.316
<v Speaker 7>nice clean electric bus to go there, as opposed to

0:15:41.356 --> 0:15:43.276
<v Speaker 7>having a drive and find parking which is a nightmare.

0:15:43.716 --> 0:15:45.676
<v Speaker 7>And yeah, I think there's I mean, there's an art

0:15:45.716 --> 0:15:47.596
<v Speaker 7>to road trips. If I've learned anything from touring, it's

0:15:47.596 --> 0:15:49.236
<v Speaker 7>at a great long road trip can be very healing

0:15:49.276 --> 0:15:52.116
<v Speaker 7>for the soul. But I just think it'd be nice

0:15:52.116 --> 0:15:53.756
<v Speaker 7>to have more options because like, I love living and

0:15:53.796 --> 0:15:56.276
<v Speaker 7>spending time in London as well. They obviously have a

0:15:56.276 --> 0:15:58.956
<v Speaker 7>great tube, they have great buses, and there are people

0:15:58.996 --> 0:16:00.916
<v Speaker 7>in London with cars, but like you just don't have to.

0:16:01.156 --> 0:16:02.956
<v Speaker 7>It's a nice to be freed from the shackles of

0:16:02.956 --> 0:16:03.316
<v Speaker 7>big car.

0:16:03.516 --> 0:16:06.756
<v Speaker 1>You're You're right, You are right when you say there's

0:16:06.756 --> 0:16:09.036
<v Speaker 1>an art to toryn like do you is there are

0:16:09.276 --> 0:16:10.396
<v Speaker 1>to road trips?

0:16:11.076 --> 0:16:11.116
<v Speaker 8>What?

0:16:11.356 --> 0:16:12.796
<v Speaker 1>Like? How do you well?

0:16:12.836 --> 0:16:14.676
<v Speaker 7>The most important part of road trip is the playlist,

0:16:14.756 --> 0:16:17.636
<v Speaker 7>and I love It's funny because on this last tour

0:16:17.996 --> 0:16:19.396
<v Speaker 7>I was in a van with a band for the

0:16:19.436 --> 0:16:21.676
<v Speaker 7>first time, and we were all yapping so much that

0:16:21.756 --> 0:16:23.916
<v Speaker 7>there wasn't that much attention being paid to the music.

0:16:24.036 --> 0:16:26.596
<v Speaker 7>Like at one point my guitar player drives sometimes and

0:16:26.676 --> 0:16:28.356
<v Speaker 7>he put on The West Side Story soundtrack for me,

0:16:28.436 --> 0:16:29.316
<v Speaker 7>cause that's my favorite musical.

0:16:29.596 --> 0:16:31.036
<v Speaker 1>Wait, yo, that's a good soundtrack.

0:16:31.036 --> 0:16:33.476
<v Speaker 8>It's really good and it's great for driving. It was

0:16:33.476 --> 0:16:34.716
<v Speaker 8>like a late night drive and it was perfect.

0:16:34.956 --> 0:16:36.716
<v Speaker 7>But when I was touring, what would be like just

0:16:36.796 --> 0:16:38.996
<v Speaker 7>me and my manager, Like I would curate playlists and

0:16:39.036 --> 0:16:40.596
<v Speaker 7>sometimes they would come to me, like in the dead

0:16:40.596 --> 0:16:42.076
<v Speaker 7>of night. Like I woke up in the middle of

0:16:42.156 --> 0:16:44.236
<v Speaker 7>the night one time to make a playlist that was

0:16:45.476 --> 0:16:48.356
<v Speaker 7>in my feelings and Rich Girl by Hollo know Its

0:16:48.356 --> 0:16:50.196
<v Speaker 7>and the Boy Is Mine and I was like, this

0:16:50.396 --> 0:16:50.876
<v Speaker 7>is the start.

0:16:50.916 --> 0:16:52.396
<v Speaker 8>I don't know what else is going on, but these

0:16:52.436 --> 0:16:53.436
<v Speaker 8>are the first three songs.

0:16:53.636 --> 0:16:56.036
<v Speaker 1>Wow, that's good. Wait what was the first one in?

0:16:57.316 --> 0:16:59.156
<v Speaker 7>And then a Rich Girl and then the Boy's Mine.

0:16:59.156 --> 0:17:00.516
<v Speaker 7>I was like, that's how this playlist is starting. I

0:17:00.556 --> 0:17:01.796
<v Speaker 7>don't know where it's going, but I had to like

0:17:01.876 --> 0:17:03.636
<v Speaker 7>it's a fever dream of like this must be how

0:17:03.676 --> 0:17:04.036
<v Speaker 7>it begins.

0:17:05.356 --> 0:17:08.796
<v Speaker 1>That's inspired. That's inspired work. I would love to know it.

0:17:09.756 --> 0:17:09.836
<v Speaker 5>Oh.

0:17:10.036 --> 0:17:11.796
<v Speaker 8>I ended up being hundreds of songs, but I liked

0:17:11.876 --> 0:17:14.756
<v Speaker 8>doing a mix of like old school stuff, like stuff

0:17:14.756 --> 0:17:15.516
<v Speaker 8>from my childhood.

0:17:16.196 --> 0:17:19.636
<v Speaker 7>I love Craig David. No one talks about seven Days

0:17:19.676 --> 0:17:20.156
<v Speaker 7>and fill me In?

0:17:20.396 --> 0:17:21.236
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I love me.

0:17:21.996 --> 0:17:22.956
<v Speaker 8>I was in a hotel.

0:17:23.196 --> 0:17:25.236
<v Speaker 7>I was standing outside of a hotel in Berlin at

0:17:25.236 --> 0:17:26.836
<v Speaker 7>the beginning of the last leg of this tour, and

0:17:26.956 --> 0:17:29.516
<v Speaker 7>fill Me In started playing over the speakers and I

0:17:29.596 --> 0:17:31.916
<v Speaker 7>was like, this is so And I was with my manager.

0:17:31.996 --> 0:17:33.516
<v Speaker 8>She couldn't hear it, and I was like, no, no,

0:17:33.796 --> 0:17:36.716
<v Speaker 8>it's definitely happening. It was like raining. I was jet labbed.

0:17:36.756 --> 0:17:41.156
<v Speaker 8>I was like, I'm maybe I'm hallucinating, but don't talk

0:17:41.196 --> 0:17:41.836
<v Speaker 8>about Kig David.

0:17:41.916 --> 0:17:44.316
<v Speaker 7>Kraig David always got to be in a playlist. Obviously

0:17:44.436 --> 0:17:46.836
<v Speaker 7>loved to put some brandy on there. Obviously loved to

0:17:46.876 --> 0:17:48.596
<v Speaker 7>put Holland notes. Like when I was a kid, I

0:17:48.676 --> 0:17:50.356
<v Speaker 7>listened to my parents played me a lot of like

0:17:50.476 --> 0:17:52.676
<v Speaker 7>James Taylor and Carol King like that always get the

0:17:52.756 --> 0:17:55.996
<v Speaker 7>mood up, Fleewood Mac, you know, just all the classics.

0:17:56.036 --> 0:17:57.756
<v Speaker 1>But then you also go there parents on board with that.

0:17:58.116 --> 0:17:59.756
<v Speaker 1>I was both, but they both that was both of

0:17:59.836 --> 0:18:00.716
<v Speaker 1>their musical diets.

0:18:01.516 --> 0:18:03.836
<v Speaker 7>My mom was the one who was more like the

0:18:04.436 --> 0:18:06.956
<v Speaker 7>She was like the James Taylor, Carol King stuff and

0:18:07.116 --> 0:18:09.396
<v Speaker 7>Stevie Wonder both my parents were. Stevie Wonder was like

0:18:09.396 --> 0:18:10.556
<v Speaker 7>the big overlap, I would say.

0:18:10.476 --> 0:18:12.156
<v Speaker 8>For my parents. Yeah, like my dad. So my dad

0:18:12.276 --> 0:18:12.716
<v Speaker 8>is a lawyer.

0:18:12.876 --> 0:18:15.356
<v Speaker 7>But he won my mom over by singing to her.

0:18:15.756 --> 0:18:18.276
<v Speaker 7>And he used to sing Donnie Hathaway and Stevie Wonder

0:18:18.316 --> 0:18:18.516
<v Speaker 7>to her.

0:18:18.676 --> 0:18:19.676
<v Speaker 1>Wait what yeah?

0:18:20.196 --> 0:18:20.236
<v Speaker 2>What?

0:18:20.596 --> 0:18:20.796
<v Speaker 8>Yeah?

0:18:20.796 --> 0:18:23.236
<v Speaker 7>He has a beautiful voice. Really, but he was like,

0:18:23.316 --> 0:18:24.596
<v Speaker 7>you know, he was like, I have to make money,

0:18:24.636 --> 0:18:26.396
<v Speaker 7>so he didn't. He didn't pursue it. But he went

0:18:26.396 --> 0:18:27.596
<v Speaker 7>to high school with Lenny Cravitz.

0:18:27.756 --> 0:18:29.156
<v Speaker 1>What yeah, like in Venice.

0:18:29.596 --> 0:18:30.796
<v Speaker 8>They went to Beverly Hill High School.

0:18:30.956 --> 0:18:32.316
<v Speaker 1>He's right, Okay, that's right, that's right.

0:18:32.996 --> 0:18:35.556
<v Speaker 8>What? Yeah? So he had like a he loves music

0:18:35.676 --> 0:18:35.996
<v Speaker 8>so much.

0:18:36.116 --> 0:18:37.716
<v Speaker 1>But what grow where did he grow up?

0:18:37.876 --> 0:18:38.876
<v Speaker 8>He grew up here because his.

0:18:38.956 --> 0:18:41.476
<v Speaker 7>Dad was a football player and he ended up he

0:18:41.556 --> 0:18:43.996
<v Speaker 7>was My dad was born in Tennessee and his father

0:18:44.156 --> 0:18:46.556
<v Speaker 7>was traded to the Bears and then to the Rams

0:18:46.596 --> 0:18:48.236
<v Speaker 7>when he was really little, so he was he lived

0:18:48.276 --> 0:18:50.636
<v Speaker 7>in Chicago for a second, but then mostly grew up here. Wow?

0:18:51.076 --> 0:18:52.596
<v Speaker 1>And did he did? Him and Lenny did?

0:18:52.636 --> 0:18:53.316
<v Speaker 8>They They were friends?

0:18:53.436 --> 0:18:53.596
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

0:18:53.716 --> 0:18:54.636
<v Speaker 8>What they're friendly?

0:18:54.676 --> 0:18:56.196
<v Speaker 7>I mean I don't think I don't think they've spoken

0:18:56.236 --> 0:18:58.396
<v Speaker 7>since they graduated. But my dad was telling me that

0:18:58.476 --> 0:18:59.996
<v Speaker 7>he went over to his house and like he heard

0:19:00.076 --> 0:19:01.276
<v Speaker 7>him play music and stuff.

0:19:01.316 --> 0:19:04.556
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, it's crazy, that's all right, hold lot.

0:19:04.636 --> 0:19:07.076
<v Speaker 1>So so he would sing like that's that's yeah.

0:19:07.076 --> 0:19:10.076
<v Speaker 7>He would sing chances are and he would sing Lately

0:19:10.476 --> 0:19:11.276
<v Speaker 7>by Stevie Wonder.

0:19:11.516 --> 0:19:12.876
<v Speaker 8>Those are like the songs that he would sing.

0:19:13.396 --> 0:19:14.076
<v Speaker 1>Do you growing up?

0:19:14.516 --> 0:19:16.876
<v Speaker 7>He definitely sang like in passing, like he would sing

0:19:16.916 --> 0:19:18.716
<v Speaker 7>along to stuff in the car, like he would put

0:19:18.796 --> 0:19:21.596
<v Speaker 7>on I have this very vivid memory of when I

0:19:21.716 --> 0:19:25.276
<v Speaker 7>was thirteen, he did a re enactment of brown v.

0:19:25.396 --> 0:19:27.516
<v Speaker 7>Board of Education for like the anniversary of the trial.

0:19:27.596 --> 0:19:29.316
<v Speaker 7>Like he played Thirdgod Marshal, I.

0:19:29.396 --> 0:19:32.676
<v Speaker 1>Need a dad. I need a d right now? Can

0:19:32.756 --> 0:19:33.716
<v Speaker 1>he can he adopt me?

0:19:33.916 --> 0:19:34.436
<v Speaker 8>He would love to.

0:19:34.636 --> 0:19:36.476
<v Speaker 1>I will. He would love say, I'll put my papers

0:19:36.476 --> 0:19:36.756
<v Speaker 1>out there.

0:19:36.796 --> 0:19:39.276
<v Speaker 8>He was the final boss of dads. Oh he's like such,

0:19:39.356 --> 0:19:40.476
<v Speaker 8>he's such a dad Martin.

0:19:40.716 --> 0:19:41.516
<v Speaker 1>This is incredible.

0:19:41.596 --> 0:19:43.756
<v Speaker 8>He's no, he's I mean, he's incredible, Like he's my hero.

0:19:44.156 --> 0:19:45.236
<v Speaker 1>He re enacted Board v.

0:19:45.516 --> 0:19:47.316
<v Speaker 7>Brownie Board of Education, and I remember I sang the

0:19:47.396 --> 0:19:49.116
<v Speaker 7>national anthem at it. For some reason, I don't know

0:19:49.156 --> 0:19:50.796
<v Speaker 7>what was going on. There, but we did that when

0:19:50.836 --> 0:19:52.876
<v Speaker 7>I was thirteen, and I remember that we like were

0:19:52.956 --> 0:19:54.996
<v Speaker 7>at the maybe at a courthouse or this was happening,

0:19:55.036 --> 0:19:56.436
<v Speaker 7>and then we went out to dinner after and my

0:19:56.596 --> 0:19:59.116
<v Speaker 7>dad drove me home. My mom had my brothers in

0:19:59.156 --> 0:20:01.236
<v Speaker 7>the other car, and I remember that Return of the

0:20:01.276 --> 0:20:03.676
<v Speaker 7>Mac came on and my dad was singing along to that,

0:20:03.716 --> 0:20:05.396
<v Speaker 7>and I remember thinking that was like the happiest I've

0:20:05.436 --> 0:20:07.796
<v Speaker 7>ever seen him, was him singing Return of the Mac

0:20:07.836 --> 0:20:10.116
<v Speaker 7>after having just done this, how re enactment was like

0:20:10.196 --> 0:20:13.436
<v Speaker 7>the confluence of all his favorite stuff and so now

0:20:13.556 --> 0:20:15.436
<v Speaker 7>Return of the like him singing Return of the Mac,

0:20:15.556 --> 0:20:17.956
<v Speaker 7>is like a very happy memory memory for me. And

0:20:18.076 --> 0:20:20.036
<v Speaker 7>I think I had plotted at one point to have

0:20:20.116 --> 0:20:22.356
<v Speaker 7>that be my walkout song on stage, which I could

0:20:22.396 --> 0:20:23.516
<v Speaker 7>still do. I think I should.

0:20:23.716 --> 0:20:25.436
<v Speaker 1>Really that's strong. Yeah.

0:20:25.916 --> 0:20:27.876
<v Speaker 7>Also, my name's McCray, so it's like Return of the Mac.

0:20:27.916 --> 0:20:29.516
<v Speaker 7>It's like it kind of works for my name.

0:20:29.516 --> 0:20:33.316
<v Speaker 1>It does, yeah, And it's that song is endlessly But.

0:20:33.356 --> 0:20:34.996
<v Speaker 7>He also likes to raps like he would he was

0:20:35.196 --> 0:20:36.716
<v Speaker 7>he actually is the person that put me on to

0:20:36.796 --> 0:20:42.196
<v Speaker 7>Kendrick Lamar. Really yeah, great when I was like seventeen,

0:20:42.316 --> 0:20:44.636
<v Speaker 7>like because he was aware of Timpa Butterfly before I

0:20:44.876 --> 0:20:46.476
<v Speaker 7>was really and he was like he put on the

0:20:46.516 --> 0:20:48.276
<v Speaker 7>black or the Berry when we were going on a hike.

0:20:48.116 --> 0:20:49.076
<v Speaker 8>And he was like, are you listening.

0:20:49.356 --> 0:20:52.076
<v Speaker 1>Listen kids in your high school not listening?

0:20:52.236 --> 0:20:53.796
<v Speaker 8>They were, but I just like wasn't.

0:20:54.116 --> 0:20:56.396
<v Speaker 7>I wasn't as tapped in and like I think people

0:20:56.436 --> 0:20:58.596
<v Speaker 7>had showed me, you know, the odd Kendrick song here

0:20:58.636 --> 0:20:59.916
<v Speaker 7>and there, but it was my dad. He was like,

0:20:59.996 --> 0:21:02.076
<v Speaker 7>this album is like one of he just he knew.

0:21:02.116 --> 0:21:03.996
<v Speaker 7>He was like, this is a classic album. These songs

0:21:03.996 --> 0:21:04.516
<v Speaker 7>are amazing.

0:21:04.956 --> 0:21:07.636
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Yeah, what was the first artist you connected with

0:21:09.196 --> 0:21:11.436
<v Speaker 1>as like this, like you know where you really identified

0:21:11.516 --> 0:21:12.876
<v Speaker 1>and became obsessed with It.

0:21:12.916 --> 0:21:13.596
<v Speaker 8>Was Alicia Keys.

0:21:14.436 --> 0:21:17.356
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, my mom played me Alicia Keys and it was

0:21:17.436 --> 0:21:20.796
<v Speaker 7>part of her campaign to like show me mixed race

0:21:20.916 --> 0:21:23.316
<v Speaker 7>people because like, my mom is white, my dad is black.

0:21:23.636 --> 0:21:25.876
<v Speaker 8>I was born in nineteen ninety seven. There wasn't like

0:21:25.956 --> 0:21:28.236
<v Speaker 8>a lot of there was representation.

0:21:27.796 --> 0:21:29.596
<v Speaker 1>Was starting like a lot of mix kids.

0:21:29.636 --> 0:21:30.756
<v Speaker 8>Now now there's so many.

0:21:30.916 --> 0:21:34.476
<v Speaker 7>Like my little brother's basketball team was like mostly mixed kids.

0:21:34.716 --> 0:21:36.516
<v Speaker 7>But like even the five years between us, it was

0:21:36.596 --> 0:21:37.836
<v Speaker 7>like it was it was like a chasm.

0:21:37.916 --> 0:21:39.516
<v Speaker 1>You never get it. I get jealous of that a lot.

0:21:39.996 --> 0:21:41.516
<v Speaker 1>I'm happy for them, but I walk around like I

0:21:41.716 --> 0:21:43.516
<v Speaker 1>really wish like I would thrive in this.

0:21:43.996 --> 0:21:46.716
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, I mean I wonder I want It's there's like

0:21:46.796 --> 0:21:48.396
<v Speaker 7>such a trade off because it wasn't only it was

0:21:48.556 --> 0:21:52.116
<v Speaker 7>not only being mixed, but also like the political climate

0:21:52.236 --> 0:21:54.156
<v Speaker 7>of when I was growing up, Like, it wasn't when

0:21:54.156 --> 0:21:54.836
<v Speaker 7>I was a teenager.

0:21:54.916 --> 0:21:56.276
<v Speaker 8>It wasn't cool to be political.

0:21:56.716 --> 0:21:59.116
<v Speaker 7>And so I'm like, what, I have also thrived in

0:21:59.156 --> 0:22:00.396
<v Speaker 7>a time when we where it was like cool to

0:22:00.436 --> 0:22:02.476
<v Speaker 7>have political to talk about race, and to talk about

0:22:02.556 --> 0:22:03.076
<v Speaker 7>those things.

0:22:03.956 --> 0:22:05.156
<v Speaker 1>When you were a kid. It wasn't we were a

0:22:05.196 --> 0:22:06.036
<v Speaker 1>teenager at well, I.

0:22:06.036 --> 0:22:07.036
<v Speaker 8>Mean when I was a kid, I don't think I

0:22:07.076 --> 0:22:08.076
<v Speaker 8>had political opinions.

0:22:08.116 --> 0:22:10.476
<v Speaker 7>But I was also eleven Barack Obama was elected, and

0:22:10.516 --> 0:22:12.756
<v Speaker 7>so like that whole like eleven to nineteen for me

0:22:13.076 --> 0:22:14.156
<v Speaker 7>was the Obama era.

0:22:14.516 --> 0:22:15.876
<v Speaker 1>What did that do to you? Because I was that

0:22:15.956 --> 0:22:17.316
<v Speaker 1>was the first election I was able to vote it

0:22:17.596 --> 0:22:22.436
<v Speaker 1>into that. Well, I mean yes, but I'll say it

0:22:23.116 --> 0:22:26.916
<v Speaker 1>only set me and my generation up for disillusionments. Yeah,

0:22:26.956 --> 0:22:31.356
<v Speaker 1>because you know suffered through Bush. Yeah, and then you

0:22:31.716 --> 0:22:34.796
<v Speaker 1>think we've fixed it, We're vote like what like I'm voting,

0:22:35.276 --> 0:22:38.916
<v Speaker 1>and but it does feel like generation is a bit

0:22:38.996 --> 0:22:43.396
<v Speaker 1>younger than me. Yours like didn't took the Barack Obama

0:22:43.756 --> 0:22:45.556
<v Speaker 1>presidency for granted in a sumise.

0:22:46.356 --> 0:22:46.916
<v Speaker 8>Absolutely.

0:22:47.236 --> 0:22:49.156
<v Speaker 7>When I was a kid, I remember thinking all the

0:22:49.196 --> 0:22:51.636
<v Speaker 7>time that I wanted to live through something. I was like, oh, well,

0:22:51.676 --> 0:22:53.996
<v Speaker 7>we have a black president, and like we fixed racism,

0:22:54.156 --> 0:22:56.596
<v Speaker 7>and like I just was I mean, my parents did

0:22:56.636 --> 0:22:58.036
<v Speaker 7>a good job of protecting me from a lot of

0:22:58.076 --> 0:22:59.996
<v Speaker 7>the truth of the world when I was young, and

0:23:00.116 --> 0:23:02.756
<v Speaker 7>so I didn't know how many problems there were still

0:23:02.876 --> 0:23:06.316
<v Speaker 7>to be dealt with. And I really felt like I

0:23:06.636 --> 0:23:08.276
<v Speaker 7>was under this the impression that I wasn't going to

0:23:08.316 --> 0:23:10.436
<v Speaker 7>be the first black women to do anything, because I

0:23:10.556 --> 0:23:12.596
<v Speaker 7>was like, Oh, it's already been done, it's already been solved,

0:23:13.196 --> 0:23:14.996
<v Speaker 7>and now and then Yeah, the first election I was

0:23:14.996 --> 0:23:17.196
<v Speaker 7>able to vote in was the twenty sixteen election, and

0:23:17.316 --> 0:23:20.036
<v Speaker 7>it was just like watching my world come crashing down

0:23:20.076 --> 0:23:22.516
<v Speaker 7>in real time, and like all these illusions that I'd

0:23:22.556 --> 0:23:26.596
<v Speaker 7>had about America, like the cracks had started to show

0:23:26.596 --> 0:23:28.396
<v Speaker 7>in the foundation before that, but like that was kind

0:23:28.396 --> 0:23:29.996
<v Speaker 7>of like the final moment of like, oh, Okay, I

0:23:30.036 --> 0:23:31.996
<v Speaker 7>see what's going on here and there is still so

0:23:32.156 --> 0:23:35.996
<v Speaker 7>much work to be done. I mean I I I

0:23:36.076 --> 0:23:38.396
<v Speaker 7>adn't kind of glad though that I had an Obama childhood,

0:23:38.436 --> 0:23:40.916
<v Speaker 7>because it was a very very idyllic time to be

0:23:41.076 --> 0:23:44.956
<v Speaker 7>a black kid in America. Yeah, was the president, and

0:23:45.076 --> 0:23:46.876
<v Speaker 7>I don't know what it would like to be a

0:23:46.956 --> 0:23:48.996
<v Speaker 7>kid now. Also, social media wasn't as bad when I

0:23:49.076 --> 0:23:50.796
<v Speaker 7>was a kid, Like it wasn't as pervasive.

0:23:50.836 --> 0:23:53.436
<v Speaker 8>It existed, but it wasn't. It wasn't on your phone.

0:23:53.676 --> 0:23:55.636
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, it was always it was on the computer, and

0:23:55.676 --> 0:23:57.276
<v Speaker 7>you could like get you could not we could walk

0:23:57.316 --> 0:23:58.796
<v Speaker 7>around and not have it carry it with you all day.

0:23:58.916 --> 0:24:01.196
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's weird. It was on the phone back, I guess, right,

0:24:01.276 --> 0:24:01.996
<v Speaker 1>but a little bit.

0:24:01.996 --> 0:24:04.756
<v Speaker 8>But like Instagram was like it wasn't You couldn't make

0:24:04.796 --> 0:24:06.356
<v Speaker 8>money on Instagram when I was a teenager.

0:24:06.516 --> 0:24:07.436
<v Speaker 1>That's one of the big changes.

0:24:07.476 --> 0:24:07.676
<v Speaker 8>Yeah.

0:24:07.676 --> 0:24:09.076
<v Speaker 7>It was just like a place where you shared photo

0:24:09.236 --> 0:24:10.996
<v Speaker 7>of your friends and you got ten likes and you

0:24:11.076 --> 0:24:12.076
<v Speaker 7>were like really excited.

0:24:12.276 --> 0:24:14.556
<v Speaker 1>Food Like that was the big criticism. Like the big

0:24:14.636 --> 0:24:18.076
<v Speaker 1>criticism of Instagram initially was why are people taking photos

0:24:18.076 --> 0:24:18.636
<v Speaker 1>of their meals?

0:24:18.716 --> 0:24:20.356
<v Speaker 8>That was my dad's criticism. He's like, well, no one

0:24:20.396 --> 0:24:21.316
<v Speaker 8>wants to see your breakfast.

0:24:21.516 --> 0:24:24.556
<v Speaker 1>We wish that was now. It's so innocent now.

0:24:25.036 --> 0:24:28.756
<v Speaker 7>But yeah, I feel even though obviously social media warped

0:24:28.796 --> 0:24:30.676
<v Speaker 7>some of my childhood, like I kind of got the

0:24:30.756 --> 0:24:34.196
<v Speaker 7>last chopper out, like I didn't have to, well because

0:24:34.196 --> 0:24:37.476
<v Speaker 7>like my well look at the kids now and like

0:24:38.276 --> 0:24:40.236
<v Speaker 7>my so, my little brother was O two and like

0:24:40.436 --> 0:24:43.276
<v Speaker 7>he got a he kind of didn't really escape social

0:24:43.316 --> 0:24:45.236
<v Speaker 7>media's child, but he sort of did. Like if you

0:24:45.276 --> 0:24:46.716
<v Speaker 7>were a kid who was born in two thousand and eight,

0:24:46.876 --> 0:24:49.836
<v Speaker 7>like you're a goner, Like you had no like the

0:24:49.916 --> 0:24:51.836
<v Speaker 7>iPhone was invented before you were born, like you have,

0:24:52.116 --> 0:24:54.156
<v Speaker 7>Like there was no window of time where you could

0:24:54.196 --> 0:24:55.236
<v Speaker 7>like play outside.

0:24:55.436 --> 0:24:57.276
<v Speaker 1>Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:24:57.676 --> 0:24:59.956
<v Speaker 8>Every generation says that about the subsequent generation. I guess.

0:25:00.036 --> 0:25:01.516
<v Speaker 1>So I don't know, but I think I think we

0:25:01.596 --> 0:25:03.756
<v Speaker 1>are in different I think I think we have crossed

0:25:03.756 --> 0:25:06.036
<v Speaker 1>the rubicon, so to speak. Like I don't think it's

0:25:06.116 --> 0:25:08.796
<v Speaker 1>now just like hating to be like these big things

0:25:08.836 --> 0:25:10.596
<v Speaker 1>are co hooked, you know, and I think things are cooked,

0:25:10.676 --> 0:25:10.836
<v Speaker 1>you know.

0:25:10.956 --> 0:25:11.836
<v Speaker 8>But I have a lot of hope.

0:25:11.876 --> 0:25:13.756
<v Speaker 7>I have a lot of hope, and I think one

0:25:14.356 --> 0:25:15.756
<v Speaker 7>that there is obviously a lot of good It's come

0:25:15.796 --> 0:25:17.716
<v Speaker 7>from social media, namely a lot of my career I

0:25:17.796 --> 0:25:21.676
<v Speaker 7>built on it. And also I just think that there's

0:25:21.796 --> 0:25:24.596
<v Speaker 7>a movement happening to get back to real life. I

0:25:24.596 --> 0:25:27.116
<v Speaker 7>think people really miss real life, and I think that

0:25:27.156 --> 0:25:30.076
<v Speaker 7>there's a lot of a lot of young people who

0:25:30.156 --> 0:25:34.316
<v Speaker 7>feel robbed of like in person, tactile, sensual experiences and

0:25:34.396 --> 0:25:35.956
<v Speaker 7>are seeking it out. And I think it's going to

0:25:35.996 --> 0:25:38.036
<v Speaker 7>become a real status symbol to not have a huge

0:25:38.116 --> 0:25:38.796
<v Speaker 7>digital footprint.

0:25:38.876 --> 0:25:41.556
<v Speaker 1>How do you navigate that given just you know, a

0:25:41.596 --> 0:25:43.556
<v Speaker 1>lot of your career you say it's like kind of

0:25:43.636 --> 0:25:46.956
<v Speaker 1>due to social media, but I imagine you, like everyone

0:25:46.996 --> 0:25:49.716
<v Speaker 1>else are, is also looking for ways to not be

0:25:49.956 --> 0:25:52.196
<v Speaker 1>attached tethered to you know.

0:25:53.076 --> 0:25:55.196
<v Speaker 7>Honestly, I haven't been that great about it recently because

0:25:55.196 --> 0:25:58.156
<v Speaker 7>I think especially when I'm touring, like when I'm in

0:25:58.236 --> 0:26:01.476
<v Speaker 7>the airport and I'm like really tired and like run down,

0:26:01.596 --> 0:26:04.636
<v Speaker 7>Like I don't want to be like meditating or like

0:26:04.836 --> 0:26:06.796
<v Speaker 7>you know, focusing on you know, the things in front

0:26:06.796 --> 0:26:07.796
<v Speaker 7>of me. I want to be on my phone because

0:26:07.796 --> 0:26:09.956
<v Speaker 7>I want to make the time pass. And so definitely,

0:26:10.036 --> 0:26:12.396
<v Speaker 7>in the last couple of months, like I've been spending

0:26:12.436 --> 0:26:14.236
<v Speaker 7>more time on my phone than I would like, But

0:26:15.116 --> 0:26:17.236
<v Speaker 7>I'm finding other ways to like be on screens that

0:26:17.316 --> 0:26:19.116
<v Speaker 7>are not social media, Like I'm getting back into playing

0:26:19.156 --> 0:26:22.156
<v Speaker 7>the Sims, which, like that is a great way to

0:26:22.276 --> 0:26:24.316
<v Speaker 7>like be on screen and kill time, but it's still

0:26:24.316 --> 0:26:26.556
<v Speaker 7>a creative activity. It's like I'm building houses. I'm like

0:26:26.636 --> 0:26:29.156
<v Speaker 7>making little people and telling little stories. And it's like

0:26:29.436 --> 0:26:31.676
<v Speaker 7>that's not the most intellectual way I could pass the time,

0:26:31.876 --> 0:26:34.196
<v Speaker 7>but it is still stimulating my brain. And like I

0:26:34.396 --> 0:26:37.276
<v Speaker 7>when I am using TikTok, my brain is not it's

0:26:37.316 --> 0:26:40.756
<v Speaker 7>not working, like it is off, and I think like

0:26:41.076 --> 0:26:43.236
<v Speaker 7>watching YouTube videos is another great way to like be

0:26:43.396 --> 0:26:44.996
<v Speaker 7>on a screen in a way that still feels engaging

0:26:44.996 --> 0:26:45.476
<v Speaker 7>because it's.

0:26:45.396 --> 0:26:46.516
<v Speaker 8>Like I'm consuming content.

0:26:46.756 --> 0:26:48.476
<v Speaker 7>I have to be I have to remember what I'm

0:26:48.516 --> 0:26:51.276
<v Speaker 7>watching in order for the content to make sense, whereas

0:26:51.316 --> 0:26:53.156
<v Speaker 7>on TikTok it's like I can forget everything that I

0:26:53.236 --> 0:26:54.596
<v Speaker 7>see as soon as I scroll past it and it

0:26:54.636 --> 0:26:56.716
<v Speaker 7>doesn't impact my day, Whereas like if I'm watching a

0:26:56.756 --> 0:26:58.676
<v Speaker 7>ten minute YouTube video, it's like, oh, I have to

0:26:58.756 --> 0:27:01.916
<v Speaker 7>follow the thread of whatever this person's talking about. I

0:27:01.956 --> 0:27:04.916
<v Speaker 7>also really like Reddit, which like maybe that's wait, tell.

0:27:04.796 --> 0:27:07.316
<v Speaker 1>Me about that, because I feel like Reddit was done right,

0:27:07.396 --> 0:27:11.676
<v Speaker 1>it's it is so bad what happened? Fact should be there.

0:27:11.836 --> 0:27:13.436
<v Speaker 7>I love it because I so I have all of

0:27:13.476 --> 0:27:16.236
<v Speaker 7>these interests, including the SIMS. My other big niche interests

0:27:16.276 --> 0:27:19.556
<v Speaker 7>are like make up perfume and like stationary.

0:27:19.756 --> 0:27:22.556
<v Speaker 1>Ok those are like things I love perfume, state wait,

0:27:23.356 --> 0:27:25.836
<v Speaker 1>make up, perfume, stationary and what else? And the sims

0:27:25.916 --> 0:27:26.676
<v Speaker 1>and the sims.

0:27:26.476 --> 0:27:29.156
<v Speaker 7>Yes, and so I'm on all those subredits like looking

0:27:29.196 --> 0:27:31.036
<v Speaker 7>at and so it's me engaging with other people who

0:27:31.076 --> 0:27:33.396
<v Speaker 7>are passionate about my interests. Like I love being in

0:27:33.436 --> 0:27:35.156
<v Speaker 7>the perfume subreddit where people like I'm looking for a

0:27:35.236 --> 0:27:37.236
<v Speaker 7>cent that has these notes and we're all trading ideas

0:27:37.356 --> 0:27:38.876
<v Speaker 7>or someone being like what's your favorite of this or

0:27:38.916 --> 0:27:40.916
<v Speaker 7>what are the bottles you've used up? And like it's

0:27:40.916 --> 0:27:41.436
<v Speaker 7>again it's.

0:27:41.276 --> 0:27:42.796
<v Speaker 1>Way of I feel you can trust these people.

0:27:43.236 --> 0:27:46.476
<v Speaker 8>I'm not giving them anything like meaningful, but but.

0:27:46.476 --> 0:27:49.116
<v Speaker 1>I mean, like like the recommendations and the opinions.

0:27:49.156 --> 0:27:51.316
<v Speaker 8>Well, that's what sampling's for, you know, people say you

0:27:51.356 --> 0:27:53.036
<v Speaker 8>should try this, and I get I spend five dollars

0:27:53.076 --> 0:27:55.356
<v Speaker 8>on a sample instead of two hundred dollars on the bottle. Okay,

0:27:55.636 --> 0:27:57.916
<v Speaker 8>it's there's a whole networ's a whole network of sampling.

0:27:57.996 --> 0:27:58.756
<v Speaker 1>That's how you're doing.

0:27:58.836 --> 0:28:02.076
<v Speaker 7>Okay, yeah, but I I really like, I'm hopeful that

0:28:02.196 --> 0:28:04.956
<v Speaker 7>like the Jens McCrae subreddit will become more active, Like

0:28:05.036 --> 0:28:06.876
<v Speaker 7>I want my start it or no, I didn't start it,

0:28:06.916 --> 0:28:10.276
<v Speaker 7>but I want my fans to like get more invested

0:28:10.316 --> 0:28:11.476
<v Speaker 7>in there. But I don't know if my fan I

0:28:11.476 --> 0:28:13.996
<v Speaker 7>don't know if like my top fans are Reddit people.

0:28:14.076 --> 0:28:16.436
<v Speaker 1>We're putting the call out. We'll just make a Reddit people.

0:28:16.356 --> 0:28:18.116
<v Speaker 8>Yes, please join us.

0:28:18.996 --> 0:28:22.476
<v Speaker 7>But yeah, yeah, I did an ama with Threddit, like

0:28:22.556 --> 0:28:24.156
<v Speaker 7>right when the album was coming out, and I loved that.

0:28:24.436 --> 0:28:26.596
<v Speaker 8>Wow, because I feel like the people. I know there

0:28:26.676 --> 0:28:29.876
<v Speaker 8>was a stereotype for a while. Yeah, well, I know

0:28:29.956 --> 0:28:31.796
<v Speaker 8>there was a stereotype for a while about Reddit that

0:28:31.876 --> 0:28:33.476
<v Speaker 8>it was like a certain kind of only a certain

0:28:33.556 --> 0:28:34.236
<v Speaker 8>kind of person use it.

0:28:34.316 --> 0:28:36.436
<v Speaker 7>It was like a negative stereotype. But my experience with

0:28:36.476 --> 0:28:38.916
<v Speaker 7>thread it is it's all very thoughtful people. Because people

0:28:39.076 --> 0:28:42.116
<v Speaker 7>like to leave long text posts, like it's not a

0:28:42.356 --> 0:28:44.236
<v Speaker 7>it's a place that it's the only place on the

0:28:44.276 --> 0:28:47.156
<v Speaker 7>Internet that still rewards long text posts because like obviously

0:28:47.236 --> 0:28:49.676
<v Speaker 7>on Twitter, you're limited by characters unless you like pay,

0:28:49.836 --> 0:28:51.876
<v Speaker 7>which I haven't used Twitter in almost a year at

0:28:51.916 --> 0:28:54.316
<v Speaker 7>this point, but on Instagram, like you can make a

0:28:54.396 --> 0:28:56.476
<v Speaker 7>long caption. But the point is the photos and TikTok.

0:28:56.516 --> 0:28:59.036
<v Speaker 7>The point is the videos and and Reddit is a

0:28:59.076 --> 0:29:01.356
<v Speaker 7>place where's the there is no photo and I mean

0:29:01.396 --> 0:29:03.556
<v Speaker 7>you can add photos to text posts. But the point

0:29:03.596 --> 0:29:05.676
<v Speaker 7>of it is that you're having these long conversations. And

0:29:05.756 --> 0:29:07.316
<v Speaker 7>I think that's why I'm now drawn to it. I'm like,

0:29:07.356 --> 0:29:09.036
<v Speaker 7>all I want to do is talk dot talk, okay,

0:29:09.156 --> 0:29:10.196
<v Speaker 7>And that's the best place to do it.

0:29:10.556 --> 0:29:16.356
<v Speaker 1>It's the review, stationary stamps, no stationary.

0:29:16.196 --> 0:29:19.116
<v Speaker 8>Makeup, perfume, and the sims. Okay, all right, that's where

0:29:19.156 --> 0:29:19.476
<v Speaker 8>I live.

0:29:19.676 --> 0:29:21.316
<v Speaker 1>What a songwriting come in on?

0:29:21.636 --> 0:29:24.196
<v Speaker 8>Let's no, I don't do I don't need Reddit for songwriting. Songwriting?

0:29:24.276 --> 0:29:25.196
<v Speaker 8>Is I do that on my hed?

0:29:25.196 --> 0:29:27.996
<v Speaker 1>How did you? Okay? Because I feel like you're how

0:29:28.036 --> 0:29:30.276
<v Speaker 1>can I say this, Like you're you're a very good

0:29:30.316 --> 0:29:33.436
<v Speaker 1>songwriter than you in my estimation for what that is worth.

0:29:33.716 --> 0:29:36.196
<v Speaker 1>And I feel like the way you write songs is

0:29:36.236 --> 0:29:38.916
<v Speaker 1>almost a lost art, like you like you write songs

0:29:38.956 --> 0:29:42.516
<v Speaker 1>in the way like great songs used to be written,

0:29:42.556 --> 0:29:44.556
<v Speaker 1>in a sense, like you know, like they're very they're

0:29:44.636 --> 0:29:47.356
<v Speaker 1>not they're not hyper specific, you know, like it's like

0:29:47.396 --> 0:29:49.636
<v Speaker 1>there's a lot of room for interpretation and there's a

0:29:49.676 --> 0:29:54.596
<v Speaker 1>lot of like just turns of phrases and ambiguousness and

0:29:54.876 --> 0:29:58.116
<v Speaker 1>that that creates a level of intrigue and and and

0:29:58.276 --> 0:30:01.076
<v Speaker 1>they're really good. So like, how did you become good

0:30:01.116 --> 0:30:02.636
<v Speaker 1>at that? How did you put that together? I get

0:30:02.676 --> 0:30:05.236
<v Speaker 1>how you got into the Yes, yes, I get how

0:30:05.236 --> 0:30:08.276
<v Speaker 1>you've become a makeup maven through Reddit, but yeah.

0:30:08.156 --> 0:30:11.196
<v Speaker 7>With with I always wanted to tell stories, Like I

0:30:11.396 --> 0:30:14.196
<v Speaker 7>just loved being read to as a child, and my

0:30:14.316 --> 0:30:16.876
<v Speaker 7>mom had a thing where we would go to bookstores

0:30:16.916 --> 0:30:18.316
<v Speaker 7>and toy stores and if I went to a toy store,

0:30:18.316 --> 0:30:19.356
<v Speaker 7>I could get one toy, but if I went to

0:30:19.356 --> 0:30:20.916
<v Speaker 7>a bookstore, I get as many books as I wanted.

0:30:21.516 --> 0:30:24.356
<v Speaker 7>And obviously this was a long scam to get me

0:30:24.476 --> 0:30:26.436
<v Speaker 7>to be a reader, and it worked very well.

0:30:27.396 --> 0:30:28.716
<v Speaker 8>And I just always wanted to tell stories.

0:30:28.756 --> 0:30:30.876
<v Speaker 7>And I always sang to myself, like my mom just

0:30:30.876 --> 0:30:32.556
<v Speaker 7>said when I was like very little, like as soon

0:30:32.596 --> 0:30:34.796
<v Speaker 7>as I was talking, I was also just singing to myself.

0:30:35.516 --> 0:30:38.236
<v Speaker 7>And it really was, you know, through the Alicia Keys

0:30:38.316 --> 0:30:39.676
<v Speaker 7>thing of like my mom trying to give me role

0:30:39.756 --> 0:30:41.676
<v Speaker 7>models people who look like me. I just saw her

0:30:41.756 --> 0:30:43.236
<v Speaker 7>and I was like, she looks I'm gonna do that

0:30:43.316 --> 0:30:45.476
<v Speaker 7>because I look like her, so I can do that.

0:30:45.716 --> 0:30:48.796
<v Speaker 7>It was like such a simple, like neurons firing moment.

0:30:48.956 --> 0:30:50.996
<v Speaker 8>Yeah. I just was like that, that's someone something that

0:30:51.076 --> 0:30:51.396
<v Speaker 8>I can do.

0:30:52.116 --> 0:30:53.396
<v Speaker 7>And when I told my mom I wanted to be

0:30:53.396 --> 0:30:54.676
<v Speaker 7>a singer, she's like, well, you have to learn how

0:30:54.676 --> 0:30:56.036
<v Speaker 7>to write songs because that's where all the money is.

0:30:56.076 --> 0:30:58.436
<v Speaker 7>Like there was no discussion of, like, there's no point

0:30:59.156 --> 0:31:01.196
<v Speaker 7>that I don't know great either, my parents work in

0:31:01.236 --> 0:31:01.916
<v Speaker 7>the music industry.

0:31:01.956 --> 0:31:03.356
<v Speaker 8>But she was like, you have to write your own songs.

0:31:03.596 --> 0:31:04.356
<v Speaker 8>And I was like all right.

0:31:04.436 --> 0:31:07.436
<v Speaker 7>So I started taking piano lessons and I went through

0:31:07.436 --> 0:31:09.876
<v Speaker 7>a couple of piano teachers, none of whom I particularly liked,

0:31:10.116 --> 0:31:12.716
<v Speaker 7>and it was because I didn't want to read music

0:31:12.716 --> 0:31:14.436
<v Speaker 7>and I didn't want to do classical music. And we

0:31:14.516 --> 0:31:17.876
<v Speaker 7>found this piano teacher who very dramatically was like, well,

0:31:18.036 --> 0:31:19.916
<v Speaker 7>you know, taking the classical music off the stand, Like

0:31:19.956 --> 0:31:20.636
<v Speaker 7>what do you want to do?

0:31:20.756 --> 0:31:22.836
<v Speaker 8>And I was like, I want to learn Beautiful by Cristina.

0:31:22.516 --> 0:31:24.716
<v Speaker 7>Aguilera, and she was like okay, So she taught me

0:31:24.756 --> 0:31:27.036
<v Speaker 7>how to pick music out by ear and taught me

0:31:27.036 --> 0:31:30.676
<v Speaker 7>how to read guitar charts, and then very quickly thereafter

0:31:30.876 --> 0:31:32.676
<v Speaker 7>was like teaching me how to write songs as well.

0:31:33.396 --> 0:31:36.636
<v Speaker 7>And I would, you know, bring her my small ideas

0:31:36.796 --> 0:31:38.676
<v Speaker 7>about songs and she would help me flesh them out

0:31:38.676 --> 0:31:39.996
<v Speaker 7>and eventually back to the point where I could finish

0:31:40.036 --> 0:31:42.956
<v Speaker 7>them by myself. And I think a big part of

0:31:42.996 --> 0:31:45.716
<v Speaker 7>why I got good at it was because my parents

0:31:45.796 --> 0:31:49.316
<v Speaker 7>instilled so much confidence in me from such a young

0:31:49.396 --> 0:31:52.676
<v Speaker 7>age that I genuinely believed I was writing Grammy worthy

0:31:52.756 --> 0:31:55.156
<v Speaker 7>material when I was like nine years old and there

0:31:55.236 --> 0:31:57.836
<v Speaker 7>was no like. I love the confidence that I have

0:31:57.916 --> 0:32:00.156
<v Speaker 7>in myself now and the you know, my opinion of

0:32:00.236 --> 0:32:02.116
<v Speaker 7>my songs now is the same as it was when

0:32:02.116 --> 0:32:04.396
<v Speaker 7>I was like ten, but the songs were not there,

0:32:04.436 --> 0:32:05.116
<v Speaker 7>simply were not good.

0:32:05.196 --> 0:32:08.196
<v Speaker 1>But I know your dad though, but hold on a second,

0:32:08.196 --> 0:32:10.156
<v Speaker 1>this is why you're dad in your mom's I don't

0:32:10.156 --> 0:32:11.596
<v Speaker 1>want to I don't want to discount your mom.

0:32:11.716 --> 0:32:14.676
<v Speaker 7>No, my parents like they were just so they told

0:32:14.716 --> 0:32:16.716
<v Speaker 7>I mean, they told me they're like, you're the greatest.

0:32:16.876 --> 0:32:18.516
<v Speaker 7>Like when I was like I'm a I'm like, look

0:32:18.556 --> 0:32:19.876
<v Speaker 7>at this song that I wrote it's amazing. They're like,

0:32:19.916 --> 0:32:22.236
<v Speaker 7>you're right, and like I watch videos back because ID

0:32:22.356 --> 0:32:24.556
<v Speaker 7>musical theater too, And I watched videos back of me

0:32:24.636 --> 0:32:26.796
<v Speaker 7>doing musical theater and of me playing my original songs

0:32:26.836 --> 0:32:28.796
<v Speaker 7>when I was first starting to write them, and I'm like,

0:32:28.876 --> 0:32:31.396
<v Speaker 7>these are fine, like for a kid. They're like fine

0:32:31.476 --> 0:32:33.876
<v Speaker 7>for a kid. And I'm like, how I asked my

0:32:33.996 --> 0:32:35.916
<v Speaker 7>parents recently, like how did you know that this was

0:32:35.956 --> 0:32:38.396
<v Speaker 7>going to go anywhere? Like we just did, We just were,

0:32:38.596 --> 0:32:41.156
<v Speaker 7>We just knew they And I'm like that's crazy, Like

0:32:41.196 --> 0:32:42.196
<v Speaker 7>you shouldn't.

0:32:41.796 --> 0:32:44.556
<v Speaker 4>Have, Like I wasn't that good, like it took Like

0:32:44.716 --> 0:32:45.516
<v Speaker 4>do you have siblings?

0:32:45.636 --> 0:32:45.796
<v Speaker 2>I do?

0:32:45.956 --> 0:32:47.956
<v Speaker 8>Yeah, I have an older brother who's my business manager.

0:32:48.036 --> 0:32:49.876
<v Speaker 7>He doesn't do music, and then my little brother is

0:32:49.916 --> 0:32:51.996
<v Speaker 7>my keyboard player and also has his own artist project

0:32:52.076 --> 0:32:53.996
<v Speaker 7>and is astoundingly talented as well.

0:32:54.556 --> 0:32:58.196
<v Speaker 1>Were they as Were they equally as Lata toy?

0:32:58.476 --> 0:32:58.556
<v Speaker 5>Uh?

0:32:58.756 --> 0:32:59.876
<v Speaker 8>Yes, yes, very much.

0:32:59.956 --> 0:32:59.996
<v Speaker 2>So.

0:33:00.076 --> 0:33:03.956
<v Speaker 7>I mean my little brother, he he's like he's one

0:33:03.956 --> 0:33:05.276
<v Speaker 7>of those people that's just good at everything.

0:33:05.316 --> 0:33:05.796
<v Speaker 8>He tries.

0:33:05.916 --> 0:33:08.596
<v Speaker 7>Like both my both my brothers played basketball. So my

0:33:08.636 --> 0:33:11.676
<v Speaker 7>little brother, every single one of his pursuits or most

0:33:11.676 --> 0:33:13.676
<v Speaker 7>of his pursuits were originated and wanted to copy his

0:33:13.756 --> 0:33:16.156
<v Speaker 7>older siblings. But then he's also like this amazing chef

0:33:16.516 --> 0:33:18.476
<v Speaker 7>because he just on his own just like loved food.

0:33:18.716 --> 0:33:20.196
<v Speaker 7>So he was a person that everything he touched he

0:33:20.316 --> 0:33:23.036
<v Speaker 7>was just great at. And keep the piano was like

0:33:23.076 --> 0:33:25.196
<v Speaker 7>one of in particular. He was just so exceptional at that,

0:33:25.276 --> 0:33:27.636
<v Speaker 7>and like he just wants to sit and play the

0:33:27.676 --> 0:33:29.156
<v Speaker 7>piano for hours and hours and hours, and that like

0:33:29.196 --> 0:33:33.756
<v Speaker 7>makes him happy. And my parents definitely encourage that because

0:33:33.796 --> 0:33:36.476
<v Speaker 7>they were like he had boundless energy, so like we're

0:33:36.476 --> 0:33:37.916
<v Speaker 7>gonna put you in basketball to burn off all that

0:33:37.956 --> 0:33:40.116
<v Speaker 7>physical energy, and you're gonna be in these piano lessons

0:33:40.116 --> 0:33:41.556
<v Speaker 7>to burn off all that mental energy and then maybe

0:33:41.556 --> 0:33:46.476
<v Speaker 7>you'll finally go to sleep. But yeah, they're they're incredibly supportive.

0:33:46.476 --> 0:33:47.996
<v Speaker 7>And I think if my older brother had wanted to

0:33:48.036 --> 0:33:49.876
<v Speaker 7>do something creative, they would have been really supportive of

0:33:49.956 --> 0:33:52.196
<v Speaker 7>that too. Like that was why my dad became a lawyer,

0:33:52.236 --> 0:33:53.676
<v Speaker 7>because he was like, I want to give my kids

0:33:54.076 --> 0:33:56.036
<v Speaker 7>full options, Like I don't want them to do anything

0:33:56.116 --> 0:33:58.476
<v Speaker 7>because of money, Like I want them to make all

0:33:58.516 --> 0:34:01.156
<v Speaker 7>their life path choices based on what they're really truly

0:34:01.196 --> 0:34:02.516
<v Speaker 7>passionate about and what they're good at.

0:34:02.556 --> 0:34:04.116
<v Speaker 8>And not just what they think is like the safe.

0:34:03.996 --> 0:34:07.996
<v Speaker 1>Bet that's great. Yeah, that's amazing. I feel like we

0:34:08.036 --> 0:34:09.956
<v Speaker 1>should line your dad out to like I feel like

0:34:10.036 --> 0:34:11.436
<v Speaker 1>your dad needs to start a service.

0:34:14.196 --> 0:34:15.956
<v Speaker 8>Like I don't know, all he wants to do is

0:34:15.996 --> 0:34:17.116
<v Speaker 8>tell people how to live their life.

0:34:17.396 --> 0:34:19.476
<v Speaker 7>Like his number one passion is like if I have

0:34:19.516 --> 0:34:22.196
<v Speaker 7>a friend over or something, he's like asking them what

0:34:22.236 --> 0:34:23.556
<v Speaker 7>they're doing, and it's like, Okay, so here's what you're

0:34:23.596 --> 0:34:24.916
<v Speaker 7>gonna do, and here's your five year plan.

0:34:24.956 --> 0:34:26.916
<v Speaker 8>Like he's ready to falk in.

0:34:27.356 --> 0:34:29.396
<v Speaker 7>That's and I hope, I do hope when he retires

0:34:29.436 --> 0:34:31.716
<v Speaker 7>that he gets the opportunity to just like dispense wisdom

0:34:31.796 --> 0:34:32.636
<v Speaker 7>to young.

0:34:32.556 --> 0:34:35.516
<v Speaker 1>People, get them on TV. I feel I know it's

0:34:35.516 --> 0:34:39.516
<v Speaker 1>gonna be good. We'll be back with more from Jensen

0:34:39.596 --> 0:34:47.036
<v Speaker 1>McCrae after the break. So your mom was showing you

0:34:47.716 --> 0:34:51.436
<v Speaker 1>mixed race women specifically for you to identify with and

0:34:51.636 --> 0:34:55.196
<v Speaker 1>and Alicia Keys. It does seem like you like and

0:34:55.316 --> 0:34:58.316
<v Speaker 1>just also judging by some of some of the songs

0:34:58.396 --> 0:35:00.396
<v Speaker 1>like on your first album, like the sort of trilogy

0:35:00.476 --> 0:35:08.916
<v Speaker 1>of songs uh headlock uh, Like there was clearly a

0:35:09.156 --> 0:35:15.476
<v Speaker 1>I Am where you you were struggling in your identity

0:35:15.636 --> 0:35:17.116
<v Speaker 1>and who you were and wouldn't you know, Yeah, I

0:35:17.116 --> 0:35:17.636
<v Speaker 1>mean growing up.

0:35:17.636 --> 0:35:19.836
<v Speaker 7>I grew up in LA and I went to private

0:35:19.876 --> 0:35:22.076
<v Speaker 7>school my whole life, and I was surrounded by mostly

0:35:22.196 --> 0:35:27.276
<v Speaker 7>white people, and yeah, I did not feel like I

0:35:27.396 --> 0:35:31.756
<v Speaker 7>belonged at all. And it felt like just this frustrating

0:35:31.836 --> 0:35:34.796
<v Speaker 7>liability to be darker skinned, Like it just felt like

0:35:34.836 --> 0:35:39.316
<v Speaker 7>it was boxing me out of social opportunities and it

0:35:39.556 --> 0:35:41.076
<v Speaker 7>just like made people underestimate me.

0:35:41.196 --> 0:35:42.796
<v Speaker 8>And I felt like I was ugly, Like I just

0:35:42.876 --> 0:35:44.556
<v Speaker 8>didn't like what I looked like at all.

0:35:44.796 --> 0:35:48.036
<v Speaker 7>And it's crazy to think about now because like I

0:35:48.196 --> 0:35:51.276
<v Speaker 7>just I just no longer care like about like the

0:35:51.316 --> 0:35:52.196
<v Speaker 7>white beauty standard.

0:35:52.236 --> 0:35:53.356
<v Speaker 8>It's just totally relevant to me.

0:35:53.436 --> 0:35:55.876
<v Speaker 7>But when I was a teenager, like obviously, it felt

0:35:55.876 --> 0:35:57.716
<v Speaker 7>like the most important thing in the world, and my

0:35:57.836 --> 0:36:00.356
<v Speaker 7>parents were very It was in spite of my parents'

0:36:00.436 --> 0:36:02.836
<v Speaker 7>best efforts to ensure that we all thought like that

0:36:03.036 --> 0:36:05.036
<v Speaker 7>black is beautiful, like they were they were hammering that

0:36:05.116 --> 0:36:05.876
<v Speaker 7>home really hard.

0:36:06.196 --> 0:36:07.076
<v Speaker 1>But the world seeped in.

0:36:07.236 --> 0:36:09.316
<v Speaker 7>The world is just so loud, you know, especial for

0:36:09.356 --> 0:36:10.876
<v Speaker 7>teenage girls. I think it was a little easier for

0:36:10.956 --> 0:36:12.716
<v Speaker 7>my brothers, but especially being a teenage.

0:36:12.476 --> 0:36:15.956
<v Speaker 1>Girls marked difference for yeah, well because they.

0:36:15.916 --> 0:36:19.076
<v Speaker 7>Were also because they were both athletes, like they were

0:36:19.396 --> 0:36:22.196
<v Speaker 7>the they were a form of black manhood that was

0:36:22.356 --> 0:36:26.076
<v Speaker 7>very comfortable for people. Like also, they're both lighter than

0:36:26.116 --> 0:36:27.996
<v Speaker 7>I am, Like I'm the darkest of my siblings, and

0:36:28.076 --> 0:36:30.196
<v Speaker 7>so I think like having like a light skin black

0:36:30.276 --> 0:36:32.396
<v Speaker 7>man who's tall and fit and good looking and good

0:36:32.396 --> 0:36:33.716
<v Speaker 7>at basketball and good at school.

0:36:33.836 --> 0:36:36.236
<v Speaker 8>Like they were just checking all the boxes and people

0:36:36.356 --> 0:36:36.876
<v Speaker 8>just love them.

0:36:37.316 --> 0:36:40.636
<v Speaker 7>And I was like darker skinned and like not an athlete,

0:36:40.676 --> 0:36:42.716
<v Speaker 7>and like the music I made was like not what

0:36:42.876 --> 0:36:44.876
<v Speaker 7>people would expect my music to sound like. And I

0:36:44.956 --> 0:36:47.156
<v Speaker 7>was just so loud and opinionated, and it was like

0:36:47.596 --> 0:36:50.196
<v Speaker 7>it was you know, it's not something I wasn't palatable

0:36:50.516 --> 0:36:54.716
<v Speaker 7>to the people that I was around, and I sort

0:36:54.756 --> 0:36:56.916
<v Speaker 7>of like dug my. I didn't really feel like I

0:36:56.996 --> 0:36:58.556
<v Speaker 7>had a way to conform, so I just dug my

0:36:58.596 --> 0:37:01.636
<v Speaker 7>heels in. It just became like even more antagonistic and

0:37:01.996 --> 0:37:07.196
<v Speaker 7>oppositional to those standards. But yeah, those writing those the

0:37:07.236 --> 0:37:10.436
<v Speaker 7>Headlock Trilogy was kind of me pross using in real

0:37:10.556 --> 0:37:13.156
<v Speaker 7>time in college, Like how hard my parents worked to

0:37:13.276 --> 0:37:15.556
<v Speaker 7>try to protect me from that kind of self hatred

0:37:16.196 --> 0:37:18.676
<v Speaker 7>and just like getting so emotional at like how much

0:37:18.756 --> 0:37:20.716
<v Speaker 7>they loved me and how much they just like it

0:37:20.796 --> 0:37:23.156
<v Speaker 7>was the putting in so much effort to try to

0:37:23.196 --> 0:37:24.356
<v Speaker 7>stop the world from getting in.

0:37:24.676 --> 0:37:27.636
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, did did that? Like did they have a sense

0:37:27.676 --> 0:37:28.876
<v Speaker 1>of how much you were struggling with that?

0:37:29.316 --> 0:37:31.116
<v Speaker 7>They figured it out at a certain point, because like

0:37:31.156 --> 0:37:33.036
<v Speaker 7>they came in my room one night and I was

0:37:33.076 --> 0:37:35.996
<v Speaker 7>looking at like skin whitening cream on Tumblr, and I

0:37:36.116 --> 0:37:37.876
<v Speaker 7>was like I'd been caught red handed. And we had

0:37:37.916 --> 0:37:40.156
<v Speaker 7>like this really long conversation and they were just like

0:37:41.156 --> 0:37:41.716
<v Speaker 7>like what do you like?

0:37:41.836 --> 0:37:42.596
<v Speaker 8>What do you what is this?

0:37:42.836 --> 0:37:43.516
<v Speaker 4>Like, what do you mean?

0:37:44.036 --> 0:37:47.396
<v Speaker 7>And I couldn't even really fully articulate like what I

0:37:47.556 --> 0:37:49.196
<v Speaker 7>was feeling or was wrong, because it was like so

0:37:49.396 --> 0:37:53.076
<v Speaker 7>shameful and so big. But they had, Yeah, they knew,

0:37:53.596 --> 0:37:55.556
<v Speaker 7>they knew that I was struggling socially, and but the

0:37:55.596 --> 0:37:56.796
<v Speaker 7>thing that they just kept saying to me was like,

0:37:56.836 --> 0:37:58.236
<v Speaker 7>when you get to college, it's going to be different,

0:37:58.276 --> 0:38:00.076
<v Speaker 7>Like I just just please get through high school, like

0:38:00.156 --> 0:38:02.556
<v Speaker 7>we know it's so bad, but I promise you when

0:38:02.596 --> 0:38:03.596
<v Speaker 7>you get to college it'll be different.

0:38:03.596 --> 0:38:03.836
<v Speaker 1>And it was.

0:38:03.916 --> 0:38:05.636
<v Speaker 8>It was immediately different. It was immediately so much better.

0:38:05.636 --> 0:38:07.916
<v Speaker 1>I don't know why that is the case, but it's

0:38:07.956 --> 0:38:09.916
<v Speaker 1>so it's night and day.

0:38:10.076 --> 0:38:12.196
<v Speaker 7>Well, especially in my case, like going to music school,

0:38:12.236 --> 0:38:15.036
<v Speaker 7>the things that it was nothing was more heavily rewarded

0:38:15.076 --> 0:38:16.996
<v Speaker 7>in music school than being different, like whatever made.

0:38:16.876 --> 0:38:19.396
<v Speaker 1>Oh your liabilities throughout high school. All a sudden it

0:38:19.436 --> 0:38:23.236
<v Speaker 1>become like like like the thing to like lean into. Yeah,

0:38:23.316 --> 0:38:25.396
<v Speaker 1>I don't know what flips I mean.

0:38:25.716 --> 0:38:27.836
<v Speaker 7>I just remember like all the kids who were like

0:38:27.876 --> 0:38:30.276
<v Speaker 7>closeted gay kids in high school that came to music school,

0:38:30.316 --> 0:38:32.836
<v Speaker 7>they were out and proud and found community immediately. All

0:38:32.836 --> 0:38:35.196
<v Speaker 7>the kids whore ethnic minorities immediately it felt like it

0:38:35.316 --> 0:38:36.916
<v Speaker 7>was well a little bit safer.

0:38:37.036 --> 0:38:38.476
<v Speaker 8>Some people had different experiences than others.

0:38:38.516 --> 0:38:40.476
<v Speaker 7>I went to USC, so outside of the bubble of

0:38:40.556 --> 0:38:43.396
<v Speaker 7>music school, it was not always safe. But yeah, it

0:38:43.476 --> 0:38:45.156
<v Speaker 7>was like and then like even just like on a

0:38:45.356 --> 0:38:48.716
<v Speaker 7>very simple level, like how you dressed, like I was

0:38:48.796 --> 0:38:50.996
<v Speaker 7>like normcore in the way that I dressed in music school,

0:38:51.036 --> 0:38:53.516
<v Speaker 7>like I was dressing like boring, and all the kid

0:38:53.636 --> 0:38:55.116
<v Speaker 7>was like a competition of who could wear the most

0:38:55.156 --> 0:38:55.916
<v Speaker 7>eccentric clothing.

0:38:55.956 --> 0:38:57.956
<v Speaker 8>It was like these are things I would never dreamed

0:38:57.996 --> 0:38:59.036
<v Speaker 8>of when I was a teenager.

0:38:59.116 --> 0:39:00.716
<v Speaker 7>But all of a sudden, you get to college and

0:39:00.756 --> 0:39:03.956
<v Speaker 7>it's like, oh, you're supposed to be as yourself as possible.

0:39:03.996 --> 0:39:05.636
<v Speaker 8>That is your ticket to success.

0:39:05.876 --> 0:39:08.076
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Yeah, it's a great. It's such a great. It's

0:39:08.116 --> 0:39:10.356
<v Speaker 1>like the most underrated part of college is that part

0:39:10.396 --> 0:39:12.036
<v Speaker 1>of it, the deconditioning that happens.

0:39:12.196 --> 0:39:12.836
<v Speaker 8>Yeah, beautiful.

0:39:13.716 --> 0:39:18.676
<v Speaker 1>Was there an inciting incident to the skin lightning cream?

0:39:19.076 --> 0:39:19.796
<v Speaker 8>No, I don't think so.

0:39:19.996 --> 0:39:22.116
<v Speaker 7>It was just like I was just on Tumblr, which

0:39:22.156 --> 0:39:24.916
<v Speaker 7>is like, it's funny now because like now TikTok is

0:39:24.956 --> 0:39:26.916
<v Speaker 7>the thing that all the teenagers are on, and they're

0:39:26.956 --> 0:39:29.876
<v Speaker 7>just rehashing a lot of the same kind of bs

0:39:30.156 --> 0:39:33.796
<v Speaker 7>that was happening on Tumblr. And I'm sure I just

0:39:33.836 --> 0:39:35.436
<v Speaker 7>went down like a rabbit hole in the same way

0:39:35.476 --> 0:39:37.436
<v Speaker 7>that you can go down like eating disorder rabbit holes

0:39:37.516 --> 0:39:39.556
<v Speaker 7>or like you know, people get radicalized to be like

0:39:39.756 --> 0:39:42.476
<v Speaker 7>racist or whatever on other platforms, Like you just get

0:39:42.876 --> 0:39:46.196
<v Speaker 7>you start looking at certain images and then the algorithm

0:39:46.276 --> 0:39:48.356
<v Speaker 7>just feeds you more of it. And I don't think

0:39:48.356 --> 0:39:49.916
<v Speaker 7>I was ever serious about it, Like I don't think

0:39:49.916 --> 0:39:52.396
<v Speaker 7>I ever was gonna meaningfully change what I look like.

0:39:52.436 --> 0:39:54.476
<v Speaker 8>But I just was like I was like, I didn't

0:39:54.476 --> 0:39:55.476
<v Speaker 8>know this was the thing that people did.

0:39:55.756 --> 0:39:57.716
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, and it turns out that there were people more

0:39:57.796 --> 0:39:59.676
<v Speaker 7>desperate than I was who were like really trying to

0:39:59.716 --> 0:40:00.516
<v Speaker 7>erase who they were.

0:40:01.276 --> 0:40:02.876
<v Speaker 8>And it made me really sad more than anything.

0:40:03.036 --> 0:40:06.276
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so sad. There's a song on you first, some

0:40:06.436 --> 0:40:09.716
<v Speaker 1>white boy that I feel like dovetails nice when where

0:40:09.796 --> 0:40:13.516
<v Speaker 1>we're at in this conversation, would you would you mind

0:40:13.516 --> 0:40:22.836
<v Speaker 1>playing some little plane or some of it comfortable? M m.

0:40:25.196 --> 0:40:36.156
<v Speaker 2>M oh. My hair smells like smoke. Something's burning. I

0:40:36.436 --> 0:40:41.076
<v Speaker 2>don't know what it is. I won't laugh, you dumb

0:40:41.196 --> 0:40:53.156
<v Speaker 2>ass chokes waite boy. I don't know you anything. I

0:40:53.436 --> 0:40:58.636
<v Speaker 2>am learning not to sing for you. The cage is

0:40:59.076 --> 0:41:10.956
<v Speaker 2>not my Zulus, white boy, you still got a great

0:41:11.276 --> 0:41:18.356
<v Speaker 2>barn Me sore the h.

0:41:19.916 --> 0:41:27.956
<v Speaker 4>And God bring me to my knee the first and

0:41:29.676 --> 0:41:35.236
<v Speaker 4>DEVI leading if ire WoT you ask me to be?

0:41:36.596 --> 0:41:36.796
<v Speaker 5>Boy?

0:41:37.956 --> 0:41:42.796
<v Speaker 4>Boy? Will make of me?

0:41:56.876 --> 0:42:06.476
<v Speaker 2>Passion play almost biblical? Why girl rives, I turn invisible?

0:42:06.796 --> 0:42:07.636
<v Speaker 8>I don't like.

0:42:09.156 --> 0:42:09.716
<v Speaker 2>Who I am?

0:42:10.316 --> 0:42:12.596
<v Speaker 4>The white boy.

0:42:16.516 --> 0:42:23.956
<v Speaker 2>Trance Stay, You're a hypnotic twillow my watch, my voice

0:42:24.076 --> 0:42:25.516
<v Speaker 2>shop the autive?

0:42:26.436 --> 0:42:27.556
<v Speaker 4>How to lie?

0:42:28.876 --> 0:42:30.396
<v Speaker 9>Who are you?

0:42:31.356 --> 0:42:32.116
<v Speaker 5>What by?

0:42:37.676 --> 0:42:48.636
<v Speaker 4>You still got a great boy? Me sore Di and

0:42:49.196 --> 0:42:50.676
<v Speaker 4>God bring me to.

0:42:50.956 --> 0:42:51.756
<v Speaker 5>My name.

0:42:55.916 --> 0:43:02.196
<v Speaker 4>First and down. If I her believe, if I would

0:43:02.316 --> 0:43:11.596
<v Speaker 4>you ask me to be boy boy will make of me.

0:43:31.796 --> 0:43:32.916
<v Speaker 5>You still.

0:43:34.196 --> 0:43:47.036
<v Speaker 4>Out of a good uh sweet? And the girl bring

0:43:47.236 --> 0:43:53.356
<v Speaker 4>me to my name you last?

0:43:55.476 --> 0:44:00.756
<v Speaker 5>If I believe, if Ian would you last me to

0:44:00.956 --> 0:44:08.676
<v Speaker 5>be my boy, will make of me?

0:44:16.596 --> 0:44:22.716
<v Speaker 4>William Ma me, William.

0:44:22.396 --> 0:44:23.676
<v Speaker 2>Ma, go me.

0:44:40.796 --> 0:44:45.996
<v Speaker 1>Gorgeous. But it's like, where did you learn? It feels

0:44:46.036 --> 0:44:49.396
<v Speaker 1>like you're breaking rules, Like how do you make a

0:44:49.476 --> 0:44:55.156
<v Speaker 1>song of that gorgeous? And then it's like and then

0:44:55.236 --> 0:44:59.716
<v Speaker 1>get the the gumption for the tax to be like

0:44:59.796 --> 0:45:02.116
<v Speaker 1>white boy. It's like it's it's it's not. No, it's not.

0:45:02.276 --> 0:45:03.636
<v Speaker 1>I don't think people are supposed to do that. I

0:45:04.556 --> 0:45:06.356
<v Speaker 1>thought to do it, but how the funk do you

0:45:06.476 --> 0:45:06.636
<v Speaker 1>do that?

0:45:06.876 --> 0:45:08.356
<v Speaker 7>That's what I felt like when I wrote it, because

0:45:08.356 --> 0:45:11.716
<v Speaker 7>I wrote almost twenty and it was the first song

0:45:11.796 --> 0:45:13.276
<v Speaker 7>I ever wrote that. I felt like I was the

0:45:13.356 --> 0:45:16.716
<v Speaker 7>only person who could have written it, And in the

0:45:16.796 --> 0:45:19.156
<v Speaker 7>immediate aftermath of writing it, I was like, surely I

0:45:19.196 --> 0:45:21.756
<v Speaker 7>can never play this live, Like this is crazy. This

0:45:21.876 --> 0:45:23.636
<v Speaker 7>is not a song that's meant to see the light

0:45:23.676 --> 0:45:26.756
<v Speaker 7>of day. And I but I think I spent like

0:45:26.796 --> 0:45:28.596
<v Speaker 7>two months sitting on it, not showing it to anybody,

0:45:28.756 --> 0:45:30.796
<v Speaker 7>and then I came home for winter break and I

0:45:30.836 --> 0:45:32.756
<v Speaker 7>played it for my mom and she was like, whoa,

0:45:33.596 --> 0:45:36.196
<v Speaker 7>you have to share that with people? And I was

0:45:36.276 --> 0:45:39.076
<v Speaker 7>like yeah, yes, And then I started playing it at

0:45:39.076 --> 0:45:42.196
<v Speaker 7>shows and it ended up being the song that led

0:45:42.236 --> 0:45:46.356
<v Speaker 7>me to my team because my first manager she sent

0:45:46.436 --> 0:45:48.196
<v Speaker 7>me like a cold email asking me to play a show.

0:45:48.636 --> 0:45:50.916
<v Speaker 7>I said that I would do it, and I played

0:45:50.956 --> 0:45:54.156
<v Speaker 7>this song among others and she filmed it and put

0:45:54.156 --> 0:45:55.076
<v Speaker 7>it on her Instagram.

0:45:54.796 --> 0:45:56.676
<v Speaker 1>Story like it just a show, just like a private

0:45:56.916 --> 0:45:57.316
<v Speaker 1>or was it?

0:45:57.636 --> 0:45:58.716
<v Speaker 8>It was like at this.

0:45:58.876 --> 0:46:01.756
<v Speaker 7>Little space in West Hollywood that she was renting at

0:46:01.756 --> 0:46:03.396
<v Speaker 7>the time, and like it was me and a couple

0:46:03.476 --> 0:46:05.436
<v Speaker 7>other artists, and her original ask was like can you

0:46:05.476 --> 0:46:07.596
<v Speaker 7>bring twenty to twenty five people? And I was like no,

0:46:08.236 --> 0:46:09.916
<v Speaker 7>She's like can you bring And I was like, yeah,

0:46:09.916 --> 0:46:11.796
<v Speaker 7>I bet I can bring three. And I thought I

0:46:11.796 --> 0:46:13.676
<v Speaker 7>would bring my mom and my little brother and then

0:46:13.716 --> 0:46:15.956
<v Speaker 7>a friend from school. Now my friends from school came

0:46:15.996 --> 0:46:17.556
<v Speaker 7>and my little brother had homework, so it was just

0:46:17.636 --> 0:46:21.236
<v Speaker 7>my mom and the other artists had brought whatever their

0:46:21.276 --> 0:46:23.436
<v Speaker 7>handful of people were. And after I finished, I just

0:46:23.516 --> 0:46:26.476
<v Speaker 7>like ran out because I was like, I didn't bring anybody.

0:46:26.556 --> 0:46:28.996
<v Speaker 7>I failed, I flopped and she tried to stop me.

0:46:29.076 --> 0:46:30.556
<v Speaker 8>She's like that was incredible, and I was like, yeah, whatever,

0:46:30.596 --> 0:46:32.036
<v Speaker 8>cause I didn't recognize her. I didn't know who she was.

0:46:32.116 --> 0:46:34.036
<v Speaker 7>I was like, I just blew her off and I

0:46:34.236 --> 0:46:37.196
<v Speaker 7>left and I went home thinking that I was gonna quit.

0:46:37.396 --> 0:46:38.996
<v Speaker 7>I was like, I ain't do this anymore, Like I

0:46:39.036 --> 0:46:40.676
<v Speaker 7>can't keep playing shows to no one, like it just

0:46:40.716 --> 0:46:44.356
<v Speaker 7>feels insane. And but she had filmed me and put

0:46:44.356 --> 0:46:47.876
<v Speaker 7>it on her Instagram story and within seconds of posting it, Rocky,

0:46:47.916 --> 0:46:50.076
<v Speaker 7>the man who ended up producing my first album, Massagarin,

0:46:50.156 --> 0:46:50.836
<v Speaker 7>was like, who is that?

0:46:51.156 --> 0:46:53.796
<v Speaker 8>What is she singing? What is going on? And she

0:46:53.956 --> 0:46:55.356
<v Speaker 8>was like do you want to meet her? Like we can.

0:46:55.476 --> 0:46:57.556
<v Speaker 7>So she ended up facilitating a meeting for us and

0:46:58.196 --> 0:47:00.076
<v Speaker 7>have we had our first session, and in my first

0:47:00.116 --> 0:47:02.236
<v Speaker 7>our first session together, I wrote my song Adam's Ribs,

0:47:03.316 --> 0:47:05.196
<v Speaker 7>and then we made another session right after that when

0:47:05.196 --> 0:47:06.396
<v Speaker 7>I wrote starting to Get to You, and it was

0:47:06.476 --> 0:47:08.716
<v Speaker 7>just like we just immediately clicked creatively.

0:47:08.796 --> 0:47:09.916
<v Speaker 8>But it was because of white Boy.

0:47:09.996 --> 0:47:12.476
<v Speaker 7>He was like I just had never heard anything like

0:47:12.516 --> 0:47:15.876
<v Speaker 7>it before, and like he's black and his wife is mixed,

0:47:15.956 --> 0:47:17.676
<v Speaker 7>and he was like I just knew that, Like I

0:47:17.716 --> 0:47:20.236
<v Speaker 7>could just see her story in her life, and like

0:47:21.316 --> 0:47:23.156
<v Speaker 7>it was just so many there were just so many

0:47:23.236 --> 0:47:25.316
<v Speaker 7>layers to it for him and then of course for me.

0:47:26.116 --> 0:47:28.076
<v Speaker 8>But yeah, it felt like I wasn't allowed, like writing

0:47:28.116 --> 0:47:28.996
<v Speaker 8>that song. It felt illegal.

0:47:29.596 --> 0:47:32.196
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well no, because it's like I don't I mean

0:47:32.716 --> 0:47:36.076
<v Speaker 1>maybe in the annals of songwriting history there, but it

0:47:36.236 --> 0:47:38.076
<v Speaker 1>just it feels very unique, you know.

0:47:38.516 --> 0:47:41.316
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, And I was recently watching the music video for

0:47:41.436 --> 0:47:44.396
<v Speaker 7>it back, and the music video is also wild, Like

0:47:44.516 --> 0:47:46.676
<v Speaker 7>I came up with this whole treatment of like cause

0:47:46.676 --> 0:47:48.396
<v Speaker 7>the kind of the impetus for the song was I

0:47:48.436 --> 0:47:51.716
<v Speaker 7>went to this party in college and I was introduced

0:47:51.756 --> 0:47:54.356
<v Speaker 7>to this white boy alongside my white friend, and the

0:47:54.436 --> 0:47:57.116
<v Speaker 7>boy basically completely ignored me and just talked to my friend.

0:47:57.196 --> 0:47:58.436
<v Speaker 7>And I left the party after that cause I was

0:47:58.476 --> 0:48:00.356
<v Speaker 7>like I can't. Yes, I was like, I can't be

0:48:00.436 --> 0:48:02.036
<v Speaker 7>here anymore. So I was like, I want to recreate

0:48:02.076 --> 0:48:04.236
<v Speaker 7>that scene in the video. So we did that, and

0:48:04.276 --> 0:48:05.636
<v Speaker 7>then we also had a scene where we had some

0:48:05.876 --> 0:48:10.356
<v Speaker 7>contemporary dancers and the end, one of the ending shots

0:48:10.596 --> 0:48:13.676
<v Speaker 7>of the video is me standing in front of all

0:48:13.716 --> 0:48:15.636
<v Speaker 7>of the white boys that we had cast as extras

0:48:15.836 --> 0:48:17.716
<v Speaker 7>at the party, and it's just me singing the end

0:48:17.756 --> 0:48:19.956
<v Speaker 7>of the song with them all standing behind me, stone faced,

0:48:19.996 --> 0:48:22.716
<v Speaker 7>and I'm like, that was my first single when I

0:48:22.796 --> 0:48:23.596
<v Speaker 7>was twenty.

0:48:23.396 --> 0:48:27.236
<v Speaker 8>Two, Like that that's intense. Like I didn't know at

0:48:27.276 --> 0:48:28.876
<v Speaker 8>the time. I was like, I'm just doing just following

0:48:28.916 --> 0:48:30.396
<v Speaker 8>my bliss. I'm just like making my heart.

0:48:30.796 --> 0:48:33.236
<v Speaker 7>But now five years later, like you know, I'm doing

0:48:33.276 --> 0:48:34.796
<v Speaker 7>a roll out for another album and putting out this

0:48:34.836 --> 0:48:37.756
<v Speaker 7>other music. I'm like, that was an intense way to start,

0:48:37.876 --> 0:48:40.156
<v Speaker 7>and I'm so glad it is. It's how I did it,

0:48:40.276 --> 0:48:42.036
<v Speaker 7>but it was it was crazy that that was my

0:48:42.116 --> 0:48:42.516
<v Speaker 7>first thing.

0:48:42.676 --> 0:48:44.716
<v Speaker 1>I'm glad you knew no better because it's like.

0:48:44.876 --> 0:48:47.276
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, that's nothing, Like I just didn't think for even

0:48:47.316 --> 0:48:49.756
<v Speaker 7>a second, Like I mean, I knew that it was

0:48:49.876 --> 0:48:51.836
<v Speaker 7>like a I knew it showed my personality and it

0:48:51.876 --> 0:48:53.236
<v Speaker 7>showed my style.

0:48:53.356 --> 0:48:55.796
<v Speaker 8>But like I just look back now and I'm like, wow,

0:48:55.916 --> 0:48:57.796
<v Speaker 8>Like I came out swinging, that's awesome.

0:48:59.796 --> 0:49:02.476
<v Speaker 1>That is incredible. I feel like there's a lot like

0:49:02.636 --> 0:49:05.276
<v Speaker 1>an underlining, I mean and not a lot, but that

0:49:05.476 --> 0:49:08.236
<v Speaker 1>is like even in Savannah, like there is some there's

0:49:08.276 --> 0:49:13.596
<v Speaker 1>some like antagonism going on, you know, like, and it's

0:49:13.676 --> 0:49:17.156
<v Speaker 1>like it is a really cool feature of your songwriting,

0:49:17.196 --> 0:49:17.356
<v Speaker 1>you know.

0:49:17.676 --> 0:49:20.516
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, I mean I'm not like a I wouldn't say

0:49:20.516 --> 0:49:23.316
<v Speaker 7>I'm not a confrontational person. I'm very capable of doing confrontation.

0:49:23.596 --> 0:49:25.396
<v Speaker 7>It's obviously not something I relish, I don't know that

0:49:25.436 --> 0:49:27.916
<v Speaker 7>anyone does, but something I'm capable of. But I feel

0:49:27.956 --> 0:49:32.556
<v Speaker 7>like the safest place for me to express those confrontational

0:49:32.636 --> 0:49:35.276
<v Speaker 7>feelings isn't a song, because in addition to the fact

0:49:35.276 --> 0:49:38.196
<v Speaker 7>that I'm not speaking directly to anyone, like I can

0:49:38.236 --> 0:49:41.876
<v Speaker 7>collect my thoughts, I can create an argument that's more

0:49:41.996 --> 0:49:44.996
<v Speaker 7>concise and like I can deliver. I can think exactly

0:49:45.036 --> 0:49:46.596
<v Speaker 7>about what I want to say, and I can say it,

0:49:46.636 --> 0:49:47.996
<v Speaker 7>and then that can be the last word and I

0:49:48.076 --> 0:49:50.316
<v Speaker 7>can feel like I've said my piece and I don't

0:49:50.316 --> 0:49:52.276
<v Speaker 7>need to like get a response back about it.

0:49:52.516 --> 0:49:55.036
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean, Alicia Keys is a love Lisha Keys,

0:49:55.316 --> 0:49:58.996
<v Speaker 1>big fan Oflicia Keys. But like your songwriting doesn't really feel.

0:49:58.836 --> 0:50:00.516
<v Speaker 8>Like I diverged a lot since I was a kid.

0:50:00.636 --> 0:50:04.356
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so it is different. You did write more like that,

0:50:04.596 --> 0:50:05.476
<v Speaker 1>I would say, So, I.

0:50:05.516 --> 0:50:07.956
<v Speaker 7>Mean, like I was, you know, a little kid, so

0:50:08.076 --> 0:50:10.716
<v Speaker 7>like I wasn't writing anything like that profound, but I

0:50:10.836 --> 0:50:12.756
<v Speaker 7>was definitely trying to sound like her, and I was

0:50:12.836 --> 0:50:17.716
<v Speaker 7>everything was on piano, and I would say like as

0:50:17.756 --> 0:50:20.356
<v Speaker 7>I've gotten older, like I mean, Phoebe Bridges was like

0:50:20.396 --> 0:50:23.156
<v Speaker 7>a big, big influence on me, especially in college when

0:50:23.196 --> 0:50:25.756
<v Speaker 7>I first found for music, And like, my favorite band

0:50:25.876 --> 0:50:27.836
<v Speaker 7>is this band Muna, who also went to USC and

0:50:27.916 --> 0:50:31.196
<v Speaker 7>two of the members were in my program, and I

0:50:31.316 --> 0:50:34.916
<v Speaker 7>definitely ama, they're like a they're a trio there. It's

0:50:34.956 --> 0:50:38.076
<v Speaker 7>like it's basically just pop music, but it's like len yes, yes,

0:50:39.036 --> 0:50:41.756
<v Speaker 7>And I feel like I definitely am emulating them a lot.

0:50:42.076 --> 0:50:44.876
<v Speaker 7>And Sarah Burrellis was really big for me for a while.

0:50:45.556 --> 0:50:47.436
<v Speaker 7>John Mayer was big for me a while for a while.

0:50:47.556 --> 0:50:50.076
<v Speaker 7>Bonie Ver has is and always has been really big.

0:50:51.796 --> 0:50:52.556
<v Speaker 8>Casey Muskraves.

0:50:52.556 --> 0:50:54.196
<v Speaker 7>There's so many people who have kind of warmed their

0:50:54.236 --> 0:50:56.836
<v Speaker 7>way in, but one of the biggest things Rocky taught

0:50:56.876 --> 0:50:59.236
<v Speaker 7>me was like trying to sound like myself as opposed

0:50:59.236 --> 0:51:01.076
<v Speaker 7>to constantly trying to sound like other people.

0:51:01.356 --> 0:51:03.236
<v Speaker 1>Like any of those people, yeah, like they're like I.

0:51:03.236 --> 0:51:05.636
<v Speaker 7>Feel like you can hear them and the influences are there,

0:51:06.036 --> 0:51:08.836
<v Speaker 7>but I feel like I've really started to find the

0:51:09.476 --> 0:51:13.556
<v Speaker 7>McCrae like toolbox and the Jensen McCrae universe, and I

0:51:13.596 --> 0:51:15.436
<v Speaker 7>feel like I'm writing in there all the time.

0:51:15.636 --> 0:51:17.716
<v Speaker 1>Is it anything you can enumerate or is it kind

0:51:17.716 --> 0:51:18.636
<v Speaker 1>of just more of a feel.

0:51:19.036 --> 0:51:19.276
<v Speaker 4>Well.

0:51:19.516 --> 0:51:22.556
<v Speaker 7>I think obviously, lyrics are paramount. I think one of

0:51:22.556 --> 0:51:24.196
<v Speaker 7>the biggest pieces of advice I give to people with

0:51:24.316 --> 0:51:26.356
<v Speaker 7>songwriting is that your lyrics have to sound good when

0:51:26.396 --> 0:51:28.876
<v Speaker 7>spoken without any melody or production, and if you don't,

0:51:28.876 --> 0:51:30.236
<v Speaker 7>if it doesn't sound good as a poem, you have

0:51:30.316 --> 0:51:32.716
<v Speaker 7>to go back and try again. I think obviously use

0:51:32.756 --> 0:51:35.116
<v Speaker 7>a lot of literary references, a lot of biblical references.

0:51:35.756 --> 0:51:36.996
<v Speaker 1>Where does that stuff come from?

0:51:37.516 --> 0:51:39.716
<v Speaker 8>Honestly, the biblical references, I don't know. Because my mom

0:51:39.796 --> 0:51:40.236
<v Speaker 8>is Jewish.

0:51:40.356 --> 0:51:42.316
<v Speaker 7>My dad converted to Judaism before I was born, and

0:51:42.396 --> 0:51:43.836
<v Speaker 7>like I went to Jewish school for a while, and

0:51:43.876 --> 0:51:46.036
<v Speaker 7>then after we left that school we kind of stopped practicing.

0:51:46.116 --> 0:51:48.396
<v Speaker 7>So there's like not really been a big religious presence

0:51:48.436 --> 0:51:51.276
<v Speaker 7>in my life. But I just find the stories in

0:51:51.396 --> 0:51:55.476
<v Speaker 7>the Bible to be really compelling and evocative in educational Like,

0:51:55.556 --> 0:52:00.436
<v Speaker 7>I think they're really valuable as stories, And then I

0:52:00.516 --> 0:52:03.036
<v Speaker 7>mean as far as like literary references like I just

0:52:03.076 --> 0:52:05.636
<v Speaker 7>I'm a huge reader, like I just love I love

0:52:05.716 --> 0:52:08.436
<v Speaker 7>my I love my songs to feel like either they

0:52:08.436 --> 0:52:10.236
<v Speaker 7>could they've been lift from books, or that they could

0:52:10.276 --> 0:52:13.556
<v Speaker 7>be set alongside scenes from books, and I really want.

0:52:13.676 --> 0:52:16.276
<v Speaker 7>I fangirl hardest when an author follows me on Instagram

0:52:16.396 --> 0:52:18.116
<v Speaker 7>way more than any other, like famous.

0:52:17.836 --> 0:52:20.796
<v Speaker 1>Person, who are some of your ocean.

0:52:20.556 --> 0:52:23.276
<v Speaker 8>Vuang He followed me a while ago and sent me

0:52:23.316 --> 0:52:25.276
<v Speaker 8>a copy of his new book that was really huge.

0:52:25.516 --> 0:52:28.276
<v Speaker 8>Carmen Maria Machado followed me right after I read her

0:52:28.316 --> 0:52:30.236
<v Speaker 8>book In the dream House, which was like one of

0:52:30.276 --> 0:52:33.196
<v Speaker 8>the most important books I've ever read. That really I

0:52:33.316 --> 0:52:33.996
<v Speaker 8>was gagged about that.

0:52:34.156 --> 0:52:36.636
<v Speaker 7>Probably the thing that was the most emotional was when

0:52:36.676 --> 0:52:38.516
<v Speaker 7>I was a teenager, I read a lot of John Green,

0:52:38.636 --> 0:52:40.756
<v Speaker 7>the young adult author who wrote that book The Fallennar Stars,

0:52:41.356 --> 0:52:43.676
<v Speaker 7>and he followed me on Instagram recently, I think because

0:52:43.756 --> 0:52:46.756
<v Speaker 7>I mentioned him on another podcast and that was like

0:52:47.356 --> 0:52:49.836
<v Speaker 7>I freaked out about that, and I sent him a

0:52:49.876 --> 0:52:51.476
<v Speaker 7>really long I sent him a message that was so

0:52:51.556 --> 0:52:53.116
<v Speaker 7>long Instagram wouln't let me send it, so I had

0:52:53.156 --> 0:52:53.836
<v Speaker 7>to edit it down.

0:52:56.036 --> 0:53:01.556
<v Speaker 8>That's like the making music that authors love is probably

0:53:01.636 --> 0:53:03.956
<v Speaker 8>my genre, Like making music that authors want to put

0:53:03.956 --> 0:53:05.956
<v Speaker 8>on their playlists while they're working on their books. That's

0:53:05.996 --> 0:53:06.436
<v Speaker 8>my dream.

0:53:06.636 --> 0:53:06.876
<v Speaker 1>Wow.

0:53:07.276 --> 0:53:08.756
<v Speaker 7>Like part of what I've been setting out to do

0:53:08.956 --> 0:53:10.996
<v Speaker 7>is I want to bring together the world of like

0:53:11.916 --> 0:53:15.716
<v Speaker 7>the great songwriters whose songs are independent of who's singing them,

0:53:15.956 --> 0:53:17.876
<v Speaker 7>just work, and then the great vocalists who they could

0:53:17.876 --> 0:53:19.876
<v Speaker 7>sing the phone book like it would still sound great.

0:53:19.876 --> 0:53:22.556
<v Speaker 7>I'm like, in an ideal world, I would be able to.

0:53:22.916 --> 0:53:24.596
<v Speaker 7>I want to be excellent at both of them, Like

0:53:24.676 --> 0:53:26.796
<v Speaker 7>I really want I want my songs to stand alone

0:53:26.836 --> 0:53:28.676
<v Speaker 7>and for my voice to stand alone, in for both

0:53:28.716 --> 0:53:31.676
<v Speaker 7>those things together to be this extra powerful thing.

0:53:32.036 --> 0:53:33.316
<v Speaker 1>Do you ever do covers? Give her?

0:53:33.636 --> 0:53:35.476
<v Speaker 8>Sometimes? Yeah, I play cover. I do covers at most

0:53:35.476 --> 0:53:36.996
<v Speaker 8>of my shows I've been doing.

0:53:37.796 --> 0:53:39.956
<v Speaker 7>Taylor Swift is obviously another huge influence on me, and

0:53:39.956 --> 0:53:42.116
<v Speaker 7>I've been doing a cover of a song from her

0:53:42.276 --> 0:53:44.156
<v Speaker 7>most recent album at like all my shows.

0:53:44.516 --> 0:53:46.156
<v Speaker 1>What do you hear in Taylor's music?

0:53:46.916 --> 0:53:48.276
<v Speaker 8>I mean, where do I even start?

0:53:48.436 --> 0:53:53.596
<v Speaker 7>I love her so much, Like she is so good

0:53:53.796 --> 0:53:57.276
<v Speaker 7>with narrative, Like she obviously started as a country artist

0:53:57.356 --> 0:53:59.916
<v Speaker 7>and writer, and like so much of country music is

0:53:59.996 --> 0:54:03.236
<v Speaker 7>just story, and like that carries through even.

0:54:03.076 --> 0:54:04.756
<v Speaker 8>As she's genre shape shifted.

0:54:06.236 --> 0:54:10.676
<v Speaker 7>She's not afraid of like vocabular which like to sometimes

0:54:10.756 --> 0:54:13.156
<v Speaker 7>I'll say, like sometimes I can read clunky, like it

0:54:13.196 --> 0:54:15.636
<v Speaker 7>doesn't always work, But I just love like that she

0:54:15.916 --> 0:54:18.156
<v Speaker 7>is willing to go there and like she's not trying

0:54:18.196 --> 0:54:20.556
<v Speaker 7>to dumb her She's never had dumb herself down for anybody.

0:54:21.036 --> 0:54:24.956
<v Speaker 7>I love how genre expansive she is. And there's just

0:54:25.036 --> 0:54:29.236
<v Speaker 7>so many like single lines that just like haunt me forever.

0:54:29.436 --> 0:54:31.436
<v Speaker 7>Like one of my favorites is off of Midnights on

0:54:31.436 --> 0:54:32.836
<v Speaker 7>what I could have shown have and she says, give

0:54:32.876 --> 0:54:33.756
<v Speaker 7>me back my girlhood.

0:54:33.756 --> 0:54:35.996
<v Speaker 8>It was mine first. Like that's like one of the best.

0:54:36.116 --> 0:54:37.476
<v Speaker 7>Like I am mad when I heard that. I was like,

0:54:37.516 --> 0:54:39.036
<v Speaker 7>I can't believe I didn't write that, Like that's like

0:54:39.156 --> 0:54:42.716
<v Speaker 7>one of the best. That's so good, And like there's

0:54:42.756 --> 0:54:45.596
<v Speaker 7>a million other ones, but like there's just I'm so

0:54:45.716 --> 0:54:47.516
<v Speaker 7>impressed with like Speak Now, which was her album that

0:54:47.556 --> 0:54:48.956
<v Speaker 7>she wrote entirely by herself.

0:54:48.676 --> 0:54:49.876
<v Speaker 8>When she was like nineteen years old.

0:54:51.356 --> 0:54:53.396
<v Speaker 7>It's just incredible, like the and the and the it's

0:54:53.476 --> 0:54:55.396
<v Speaker 7>the volume as well, because that's the thing that I

0:54:55.476 --> 0:54:57.476
<v Speaker 7>pride myself on, is my volume like I'm like, I

0:54:57.516 --> 0:54:59.556
<v Speaker 7>want to just keep creating, whether it's songs, whether it's

0:54:59.556 --> 0:55:01.316
<v Speaker 7>the other types of writing that I like to do.

0:55:01.556 --> 0:55:03.396
<v Speaker 7>Like I want to be a person who's just always

0:55:03.556 --> 0:55:05.436
<v Speaker 7>having a high volume of output, and she is that,

0:55:05.916 --> 0:55:08.196
<v Speaker 7>and it's just astonishing that she manages to keep doing it.

0:55:08.516 --> 0:55:12.436
<v Speaker 1>Wow, have you the pace that you've set for yourself

0:55:12.836 --> 0:55:15.796
<v Speaker 1>so far you feel like you've been able to keep it.

0:55:16.556 --> 0:55:18.476
<v Speaker 7>I definitely am bummed that I haven't written as much

0:55:18.516 --> 0:55:21.836
<v Speaker 7>this year, like because of you know, partly because of

0:55:21.876 --> 0:55:23.636
<v Speaker 7>the album coming out and the touring, but also because

0:55:23.676 --> 0:55:25.636
<v Speaker 7>like obviously this year started with the fires in LA

0:55:25.676 --> 0:55:28.796
<v Speaker 7>and that was like really disruptive to everyone's life in

0:55:28.916 --> 0:55:30.756
<v Speaker 7>a million different ways, and especially I feel like as

0:55:30.756 --> 0:55:32.596
<v Speaker 7>a creative it was like I mean I wrote a

0:55:32.636 --> 0:55:35.396
<v Speaker 7>song about the fires as they were happening, but like

0:55:36.396 --> 0:55:39.716
<v Speaker 7>it definitely like it tanked my mental health for a while,

0:55:39.796 --> 0:55:43.236
<v Speaker 7>and like I didn't feel as productive and creative. And

0:55:43.276 --> 0:55:45.556
<v Speaker 7>then obviously, like politically, the world is also like really

0:55:45.636 --> 0:55:48.036
<v Speaker 7>in America specifically, is really in a lot of turmoil,

0:55:48.116 --> 0:55:50.716
<v Speaker 7>and like I've written about that to an extent, but

0:55:50.796 --> 0:55:52.876
<v Speaker 7>that also makes it hard to like tap into the

0:55:52.956 --> 0:55:56.876
<v Speaker 7>creative life work sometimes. And it's weird because I've never

0:55:56.916 --> 0:55:58.916
<v Speaker 7>been a person who's ever struggled with creative blocks, and

0:55:58.956 --> 0:56:01.236
<v Speaker 7>I don't even think of myself as experiencing writer's block.

0:56:01.236 --> 0:56:03.156
<v Speaker 7>I just think I'm not in a season of high

0:56:03.196 --> 0:56:06.276
<v Speaker 7>output right now, and I think that's like not that crazy,

0:56:06.476 --> 0:56:08.316
<v Speaker 7>Like I have made so much over so many years,

0:56:08.356 --> 0:56:10.636
<v Speaker 7>and it's like I just am I really trust that

0:56:10.716 --> 0:56:12.076
<v Speaker 7>it's going to come back. And I have written a

0:56:12.116 --> 0:56:14.036
<v Speaker 7>couple songs I love in the last couple of months,

0:56:14.396 --> 0:56:16.076
<v Speaker 7>but it's just not at the same clip.

0:56:16.596 --> 0:56:20.436
<v Speaker 1>Are you goal oriented? Yes, yes, I want to assume.

0:56:20.236 --> 0:56:22.876
<v Speaker 7>But I mean I'm both goal and process oriented, Like

0:56:22.916 --> 0:56:24.476
<v Speaker 7>I love the journey. But there's definitely a lot of

0:56:24.516 --> 0:56:25.236
<v Speaker 7>stuff that I want to do.

0:56:25.596 --> 0:56:26.356
<v Speaker 1>What are some of those?

0:56:26.876 --> 0:56:28.716
<v Speaker 7>I love to win a Grammy, of course, I'd love

0:56:28.756 --> 0:56:32.156
<v Speaker 7>to win a Grammy. I really want to publish a novel,

0:56:32.876 --> 0:56:35.516
<v Speaker 7>really badly. I really want to get a screenplay that

0:56:35.516 --> 0:56:36.836
<v Speaker 7>I've written produced.

0:56:37.196 --> 0:56:37.836
<v Speaker 1>Have you written one?

0:56:37.916 --> 0:56:38.636
<v Speaker 8>I've written a lot.

0:56:39.116 --> 0:56:40.596
<v Speaker 7>I've written a lot of screenplays and a lot of

0:56:40.636 --> 0:56:42.556
<v Speaker 7>novels and none of them have gone anywhere, but one

0:56:42.636 --> 0:56:45.556
<v Speaker 7>day one of them will. And I also, I love

0:56:45.756 --> 0:56:47.636
<v Speaker 7>I love to act I found I want to. I

0:56:47.716 --> 0:56:49.276
<v Speaker 7>want to I want to do some acting.

0:56:49.756 --> 0:56:52.156
<v Speaker 1>How did that escape you? I feel like you're I

0:56:52.316 --> 0:56:53.556
<v Speaker 1>just didn't want to do it for.

0:56:53.596 --> 0:56:54.556
<v Speaker 8>A really long time.

0:56:54.876 --> 0:56:57.316
<v Speaker 7>Like I when I was a kid, I did musical

0:56:57.356 --> 0:56:58.996
<v Speaker 7>theater and then when I stopped, I was like, I

0:56:59.036 --> 0:57:00.956
<v Speaker 7>have the only reason I did musical theater was to sing,

0:57:01.036 --> 0:57:03.396
<v Speaker 7>like I didn't care about the acting part. And then

0:57:03.556 --> 0:57:06.356
<v Speaker 7>I never thought about it at all in high school

0:57:06.436 --> 0:57:11.156
<v Speaker 7>or college really, And then when I started working with WMME,

0:57:11.436 --> 0:57:12.916
<v Speaker 7>they were like, of course, like they're, you know, a

0:57:12.996 --> 0:57:15.516
<v Speaker 7>huge agency, they represent everybody doing everything, and they were like, okay,

0:57:15.556 --> 0:57:17.716
<v Speaker 7>so acting and I was like no, and they were

0:57:17.756 --> 0:57:18.836
<v Speaker 7>like what do you what do you mean?

0:57:18.916 --> 0:57:19.796
<v Speaker 8>And I was like I don't want to do that.

0:57:19.836 --> 0:57:21.196
<v Speaker 8>And I'm like, well, we'll just send you some stuff.

0:57:21.796 --> 0:57:23.956
<v Speaker 7>Have they sent you anything, Like, well, they said, in

0:57:23.996 --> 0:57:26.196
<v Speaker 7>the last five years, they've sent me a couple of auditions.

0:57:26.236 --> 0:57:28.036
<v Speaker 7>And when I when I first started receiving them, I

0:57:28.116 --> 0:57:30.156
<v Speaker 7>did a bad job, like I would send them a

0:57:30.236 --> 0:57:30.916
<v Speaker 7>not on purpose, but.

0:57:33.196 --> 0:57:34.676
<v Speaker 8>You know, I was like I didn't know.

0:57:34.796 --> 0:57:36.676
<v Speaker 7>I didn't know what it meant to like a script,

0:57:36.876 --> 0:57:38.476
<v Speaker 7>Like I was just doing what I was told and

0:57:38.556 --> 0:57:40.876
<v Speaker 7>like I remember like trying really hard at the auditions

0:57:40.876 --> 0:57:42.676
<v Speaker 7>and then they wouldn't say anything to me about it.

0:57:42.716 --> 0:57:44.636
<v Speaker 8>Afterward, and I was like, I don't think I did

0:57:44.636 --> 0:57:48.356
<v Speaker 8>a good job. And then I started to get more

0:57:48.396 --> 0:57:48.716
<v Speaker 8>into it.

0:57:48.796 --> 0:57:51.116
<v Speaker 7>I started doing self tapes for other people and started

0:57:51.156 --> 0:57:53.396
<v Speaker 7>to really enjoy that process. And then I got an

0:57:53.396 --> 0:57:55.236
<v Speaker 7>audition after having done kind of a lot of self

0:57:55.276 --> 0:57:56.276
<v Speaker 7>tapes for other people.

0:57:56.556 --> 0:57:58.756
<v Speaker 1>And say, self tapes for other people that you would help, yeah.

0:57:58.556 --> 0:58:00.796
<v Speaker 7>I would like read for them while they auditioned, And

0:58:01.796 --> 0:58:03.476
<v Speaker 7>I did one after doing that a lot, and it

0:58:03.556 --> 0:58:05.316
<v Speaker 7>was the first time my acting agent was like, hey,

0:58:05.356 --> 0:58:07.956
<v Speaker 7>that was good, and I was like, not me being

0:58:07.956 --> 0:58:08.516
<v Speaker 7>good at acting.

0:58:09.156 --> 0:58:11.196
<v Speaker 8>And so then now when I get tapes, I.

0:58:11.316 --> 0:58:13.956
<v Speaker 7>Like really enjoy doing them. It's really fun, Like I

0:58:14.036 --> 0:58:16.676
<v Speaker 7>lose track of time. I just lose hours, like trying

0:58:16.756 --> 0:58:20.396
<v Speaker 7>different things. And it's made me now want hopefully like

0:58:20.476 --> 0:58:21.716
<v Speaker 7>when I to get if I get one of my

0:58:21.756 --> 0:58:23.196
<v Speaker 7>own scripts, made like I'd love to act in a

0:58:23.236 --> 0:58:25.316
<v Speaker 7>movie that I write, which I never would have thought

0:58:25.316 --> 0:58:26.956
<v Speaker 7>I would want to do before, but now I really want.

0:58:26.876 --> 0:58:30.436
<v Speaker 1>To hold up you met Spike Lee, I did like that.

0:58:32.156 --> 0:58:34.236
<v Speaker 1>I feel like, did you did you ask him any

0:58:34.236 --> 0:58:39.716
<v Speaker 1>about anything. Did you pick like next question, did you

0:58:39.756 --> 0:58:41.076
<v Speaker 1>ask him about? Did you pitch a movie?

0:58:41.156 --> 0:58:41.956
<v Speaker 8>Did you ask Spikes?

0:58:41.996 --> 0:58:42.196
<v Speaker 2>Great?

0:58:42.236 --> 0:58:46.316
<v Speaker 7>Spike's been very supportive and why he just found my

0:58:46.436 --> 0:58:49.236
<v Speaker 7>music online. He just like found He literally just started

0:58:49.276 --> 0:58:52.996
<v Speaker 7>liking my posts on Instagram from a kid, baby, That's

0:58:53.036 --> 0:58:54.876
<v Speaker 7>what I thought, but I don't know, Like it wasn't

0:58:54.876 --> 0:58:56.716
<v Speaker 7>even one of my viral videos. He just like found

0:58:56.956 --> 0:58:59.116
<v Speaker 7>he just found one of my songs and was just like,

0:58:59.236 --> 0:59:00.796
<v Speaker 7>this is great, and I was like, thank you so much,

0:59:00.836 --> 0:59:01.316
<v Speaker 7>appreciate it.

0:59:01.396 --> 0:59:01.716
<v Speaker 1>I got.

0:59:02.996 --> 0:59:03.796
<v Speaker 8>I get random.

0:59:04.076 --> 0:59:06.116
<v Speaker 7>It's always the most random people, like I got, like

0:59:06.196 --> 0:59:08.476
<v Speaker 7>Kristen Bell messaged me after I posted my song about

0:59:08.476 --> 0:59:11.316
<v Speaker 7>the fires, and like Julia Roberts posted one of my

0:59:11.396 --> 0:59:13.676
<v Speaker 7>songs on her Instagram. Creed like it's all these people.

0:59:13.676 --> 0:59:15.676
<v Speaker 7>I'm like, I don't know how you're finding this stuff,

0:59:15.756 --> 0:59:17.196
<v Speaker 7>but like so much love.

0:59:18.076 --> 0:59:19.996
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Spike's the coolest one.

0:59:20.236 --> 0:59:21.916
<v Speaker 8>He's very cool. He's very very cool.

0:59:22.076 --> 0:59:24.196
<v Speaker 1>And you know, he's like great in his own movies too,

0:59:24.236 --> 0:59:25.916
<v Speaker 1>you know what I mean. He hasn't really been in

0:59:25.996 --> 0:59:27.836
<v Speaker 1>one in a while, but he should get back in there.

0:59:29.476 --> 0:59:30.196
<v Speaker 1>I agree with you.

0:59:30.396 --> 0:59:32.156
<v Speaker 8>I agree with you, but that's like kind of I would.

0:59:32.196 --> 0:59:34.756
<v Speaker 7>I love the idea of writing something and getting the

0:59:34.796 --> 0:59:37.676
<v Speaker 7>opportunity to act it myself, which like because when I

0:59:37.716 --> 0:59:39.796
<v Speaker 7>first started writing movies, people would be like, Oh, you

0:59:39.916 --> 0:59:41.196
<v Speaker 7>want to play this part and I was like no.

0:59:41.716 --> 0:59:44.076
<v Speaker 7>And then now when I'm writing things, I am often

0:59:44.116 --> 0:59:45.196
<v Speaker 7>writing with myself in mind.

0:59:45.356 --> 0:59:50.476
<v Speaker 1>Do any of those things feel like I guess music

0:59:50.596 --> 0:59:51.436
<v Speaker 1>is probably takes?

0:59:52.276 --> 0:59:53.316
<v Speaker 8>Yeah, he's number one.

0:59:53.356 --> 0:59:56.116
<v Speaker 1>Number one. Does any of the other stuff feel like

0:59:56.276 --> 0:59:59.356
<v Speaker 1>a distraction or does it feel like it feeds? Does

0:59:59.436 --> 1:00:00.436
<v Speaker 1>each one feeds the other?

1:00:00.636 --> 1:00:02.396
<v Speaker 7>And it all They definitely don't feed each other. I

1:00:02.516 --> 1:00:04.596
<v Speaker 7>used to wonder if I was doing a disservice to

1:00:04.676 --> 1:00:06.276
<v Speaker 7>myself by having all these other interests. But I had

1:00:06.276 --> 1:00:09.596
<v Speaker 7>a professor my sophomore year of college who about that,

1:00:09.716 --> 1:00:12.636
<v Speaker 7>because I was feeling very adrift and I was questioning

1:00:12.676 --> 1:00:14.396
<v Speaker 7>my place in the program and I felt like everyone

1:00:14.476 --> 1:00:17.556
<v Speaker 7>else with like eight slept breathed music, and I was like,

1:00:17.676 --> 1:00:18.276
<v Speaker 7>how all this other.

1:00:18.196 --> 1:00:18.956
<v Speaker 8>Stuff I really like?

1:00:19.396 --> 1:00:20.716
<v Speaker 7>I was like, do you think I should give up

1:00:20.916 --> 1:00:22.636
<v Speaker 7>on those things and just focus on music? And he

1:00:22.756 --> 1:00:25.156
<v Speaker 7>was like, never make yourself small, Like you need to

1:00:25.236 --> 1:00:27.556
<v Speaker 7>do everything that you're passionate about and everything that you're

1:00:27.596 --> 1:00:29.396
<v Speaker 7>good at. Everything, like, do all of it and it

1:00:29.476 --> 1:00:31.956
<v Speaker 7>will all be in service to each other. And I

1:00:32.036 --> 1:00:33.676
<v Speaker 7>was like, Okay, well I got permission from my teacher,

1:00:33.716 --> 1:00:34.556
<v Speaker 7>so I can keep doing it.

1:00:34.956 --> 1:00:35.316
<v Speaker 8>And now.

1:00:35.356 --> 1:00:36.996
<v Speaker 7>I mean, the thing that I often say is that

1:00:37.156 --> 1:00:40.196
<v Speaker 7>like when I'm writing, Like sometimes i'll be writing, I'll

1:00:40.236 --> 1:00:42.156
<v Speaker 7>write a line and I'll be like, is this a song?

1:00:42.356 --> 1:00:43.916
<v Speaker 8>Is this a poem? Is this a line of dialogue

1:00:43.956 --> 1:00:46.116
<v Speaker 8>in the screenplay? Is this like a passage in a novel?

1:00:46.156 --> 1:00:48.836
<v Speaker 7>And Like, if I'm working on one thing and it

1:00:48.836 --> 1:00:51.036
<v Speaker 7>feels like I'm getting stuck, I just pivot to another medium.

1:00:51.156 --> 1:00:52.276
<v Speaker 7>And so for me, it's kind of the way that

1:00:52.316 --> 1:00:54.116
<v Speaker 7>I've gotten out of writer's block is by having all

1:00:54.156 --> 1:00:58.316
<v Speaker 7>of these different things that I enjoy writing. Is if

1:00:58.396 --> 1:01:00.676
<v Speaker 7>anything ever starts to feel stagnant or like it's not working,

1:01:00.716 --> 1:01:02.996
<v Speaker 7>I just switch to something else and immediately feels fresh.

1:01:03.116 --> 1:01:05.996
<v Speaker 1>Who are some of your inspirations in terms of dialogue

1:01:05.996 --> 1:01:08.156
<v Speaker 1>writers specifically, Well, my favorite.

1:01:07.836 --> 1:01:09.316
<v Speaker 8>Book of all time is The Idiot by ELLEF.

1:01:09.396 --> 1:01:12.156
<v Speaker 7>Batuman, which is about this girl who's a freshman at

1:01:12.156 --> 1:01:14.876
<v Speaker 7>Harvard in nineteen ninety five. There's very little plot, It's

1:01:14.956 --> 1:01:17.796
<v Speaker 7>just her going through her freshman year, making friends, trying

1:01:17.836 --> 1:01:20.516
<v Speaker 7>to find her voice as a writer, and developing this

1:01:20.556 --> 1:01:22.716
<v Speaker 7>ill fated crush on this older boy who's not interested

1:01:22.716 --> 1:01:26.116
<v Speaker 7>in her, And I just remember feeling like reading that

1:01:26.276 --> 1:01:29.436
<v Speaker 7>dialogue felt so much more real than anything I'd ever

1:01:29.516 --> 1:01:32.716
<v Speaker 7>read before, And it was because it was teenagers who

1:01:32.756 --> 1:01:34.796
<v Speaker 7>were really, really smart, but they weren't pretentious.

1:01:35.276 --> 1:01:36.596
<v Speaker 8>And I had never really read.

1:01:36.476 --> 1:01:39.476
<v Speaker 7>Anything that was that good at echoing the kinds of

1:01:39.636 --> 1:01:42.756
<v Speaker 7>conversations that I had experienced and had as a teenager.

1:01:43.236 --> 1:01:45.316
<v Speaker 1>I will ask, though, can teenagers be smart and not

1:01:45.996 --> 1:01:46.716
<v Speaker 1>be pretentious?

1:01:47.596 --> 1:01:50.356
<v Speaker 7>I felt like the reason why I felt a lack

1:01:50.396 --> 1:01:56.236
<v Speaker 7>of pretension was because it felt like they weren't performing

1:01:56.356 --> 1:01:59.116
<v Speaker 7>for adults. They were just performing for each other, okay,

1:01:59.516 --> 1:02:00.116
<v Speaker 7>which I feel like.

1:02:00.156 --> 1:02:05.996
<v Speaker 1>Was so smart for their cohort not necessarily performatively small.

1:02:06.036 --> 1:02:08.196
<v Speaker 7>They were not performally smart. And you know what the

1:02:08.276 --> 1:02:10.076
<v Speaker 7>other key difference is is that they asked a lot

1:02:10.156 --> 1:02:12.996
<v Speaker 7>of questions. It wasn't kids who pretended to know everything.

1:02:13.076 --> 1:02:15.556
<v Speaker 7>It was kids who were really deeply curious about the world,

1:02:15.596 --> 1:02:17.996
<v Speaker 7>and they asked really smart questions, but they didn't pretend

1:02:18.036 --> 1:02:21.036
<v Speaker 7>to know more than they than they did. And especially

1:02:21.116 --> 1:02:23.596
<v Speaker 7>the narrator, like at the end of the book. I

1:02:23.636 --> 1:02:25.436
<v Speaker 7>mean it's called The Idiot, which borrows its title from

1:02:25.436 --> 1:02:28.516
<v Speaker 7>Adostoevsky work, And at the end of the book she

1:02:28.636 --> 1:02:31.796
<v Speaker 7>basically says like, I'm dumb. I don't know anything, Like

1:02:31.876 --> 1:02:33.276
<v Speaker 7>I've spent a whole year in college and had this

1:02:33.316 --> 1:02:34.836
<v Speaker 7>whole summer break and I don't know what happened. Like

1:02:34.916 --> 1:02:37.516
<v Speaker 7>that's how the book ends. And that just felt I

1:02:37.516 --> 1:02:39.076
<v Speaker 7>read that book when I was twenty for the first time,

1:02:39.396 --> 1:02:42.236
<v Speaker 7>and it just felt so real to be like, yeah,

1:02:42.396 --> 1:02:44.716
<v Speaker 7>like I don't know anything. Like I'm asking all these questions.

1:02:44.756 --> 1:02:46.396
<v Speaker 7>I'm going out in the world, I'm meeting all these people.

1:02:46.436 --> 1:02:48.356
<v Speaker 7>I'm trying to make sense of everything, and I've been

1:02:48.476 --> 1:02:50.836
<v Speaker 7>left with yet more questions than I had when I started.

1:02:51.036 --> 1:02:55.436
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well, last break and leave back with Jensen McCrae.

1:02:59.556 --> 1:03:03.556
<v Speaker 1>What does winning a Grammy do for You're clearly like

1:03:03.916 --> 1:03:07.916
<v Speaker 1>I mean, take out song, take out the music career.

1:03:08.036 --> 1:03:11.956
<v Speaker 1>You're an impressive person. Thank you, very clearly, like you

1:03:12.036 --> 1:03:16.156
<v Speaker 1>have a lot of interests, very adept at a lot

1:03:16.196 --> 1:03:20.596
<v Speaker 1>of things. What does a Grammy do for you? Why

1:03:20.756 --> 1:03:24.396
<v Speaker 1>is that like you're driving force? Why is it not drive?

1:03:24.436 --> 1:03:26.156
<v Speaker 1>But why is that one of the things, many things

1:03:26.156 --> 1:03:26.956
<v Speaker 1>that you want to accomplish.

1:03:27.316 --> 1:03:29.356
<v Speaker 7>There's one component, which is that not that many black

1:03:29.396 --> 1:03:32.516
<v Speaker 7>women have one album of the year. Beyonce winning this

1:03:32.596 --> 1:03:33.036
<v Speaker 7>past year.

1:03:33.036 --> 1:03:35.156
<v Speaker 8>It was only the fourth time it's ever happened, and

1:03:35.236 --> 1:03:36.716
<v Speaker 8>so there's a part of me that just wants to

1:03:37.516 --> 1:03:38.236
<v Speaker 8>I want to prove it.

1:03:38.436 --> 1:03:39.036
<v Speaker 1>We're back to that.

1:03:39.356 --> 1:03:40.916
<v Speaker 8>Yes, yes, that's really part of it.

1:03:41.036 --> 1:03:42.316
<v Speaker 7>Is really like I didn't know that when I was

1:03:42.356 --> 1:03:43.756
<v Speaker 7>a kid, and I'm like, oh wow, like if I

1:03:43.876 --> 1:03:45.876
<v Speaker 7>do this, like it's historical in.

1:03:45.876 --> 1:03:47.796
<v Speaker 1>A lot of ways, Beyonce, laurn Hill.

1:03:48.556 --> 1:03:52.476
<v Speaker 7>Natalie Cole, and then there's another one. But I know

1:03:52.556 --> 1:03:54.516
<v Speaker 7>that Rihanna's never won it and Alicia Keys has never

1:03:54.516 --> 1:03:56.796
<v Speaker 7>won it, which is crazy. That's a component of it.

1:03:56.876 --> 1:03:58.556
<v Speaker 7>There's also the part of me that's like I've always

1:03:58.556 --> 1:04:01.036
<v Speaker 7>been academic. I've always been very academically inclined, and I

1:04:01.156 --> 1:04:03.396
<v Speaker 7>like gold stars. I want the institution to give me

1:04:03.476 --> 1:04:03.996
<v Speaker 7>a gold star.

1:04:04.156 --> 1:04:04.876
<v Speaker 8>Like that's just true.

1:04:04.996 --> 1:04:09.716
<v Speaker 7>Like I just love when authority recognizes my and like,

1:04:09.756 --> 1:04:11.676
<v Speaker 7>I know it's not that's not what gives my work meaning.

1:04:11.836 --> 1:04:13.756
<v Speaker 7>I think my work has meaning because I make it

1:04:13.876 --> 1:04:16.236
<v Speaker 7>and because it's reaching people who are touched by it.

1:04:16.356 --> 1:04:19.476
<v Speaker 7>That's the most important thing. But to me, it's it's

1:04:19.476 --> 1:04:22.436
<v Speaker 7>a milestone that I like achieving is getting that stamp

1:04:22.596 --> 1:04:24.996
<v Speaker 7>from like an entity that's larger than me and that

1:04:25.076 --> 1:04:27.796
<v Speaker 7>has a track record of anointing people like I like.

1:04:27.836 --> 1:04:29.516
<v Speaker 7>And if I if I go my whole life without

1:04:29.516 --> 1:04:31.636
<v Speaker 7>winning any kind of awards for my music, that's fine,

1:04:31.756 --> 1:04:33.476
<v Speaker 7>Like I won't feel like I failed. But it's just

1:04:33.516 --> 1:04:36.236
<v Speaker 7>something that I've always I've always liked the idea of

1:04:36.316 --> 1:04:37.996
<v Speaker 7>It's something that like makes it will make me feel

1:04:38.036 --> 1:04:40.876
<v Speaker 7>like it's just an it's another thing to have achieved,

1:04:41.556 --> 1:04:43.636
<v Speaker 7>and it's another thing to feel like I've worked toward.

1:04:43.996 --> 1:04:47.076
<v Speaker 7>And there's like a system in place that you can

1:04:47.156 --> 1:04:49.556
<v Speaker 7>work to increase your odds of winning it. And I'm like,

1:04:49.636 --> 1:04:50.916
<v Speaker 7>let me just try, let me try to think you

1:04:52.396 --> 1:04:53.796
<v Speaker 7>not really, I don't really know what it is, but

1:04:53.876 --> 1:04:55.116
<v Speaker 7>I know that like a lot of it is just

1:04:55.156 --> 1:04:57.596
<v Speaker 7>like being involved in like the music community, and like

1:04:57.716 --> 1:05:00.596
<v Speaker 7>being involved in the Recording Academy, and like why not

1:05:00.956 --> 1:05:04.196
<v Speaker 7>for more community and why not like be more involved

1:05:04.236 --> 1:05:06.836
<v Speaker 7>in like music advocacy and music education, Like those are

1:05:06.836 --> 1:05:08.916
<v Speaker 7>all things I want to do anyway, and like just

1:05:09.356 --> 1:05:12.956
<v Speaker 7>as involved as I can in that network, I think

1:05:13.076 --> 1:05:14.756
<v Speaker 7>is something that will bear fruit regardless of whether or

1:05:14.796 --> 1:05:15.476
<v Speaker 7>not I won an award.

1:05:15.556 --> 1:05:17.796
<v Speaker 1>So aside from wanting to win, the things that it

1:05:17.916 --> 1:05:22.116
<v Speaker 1>might take to win are appealing to you to achieve

1:05:22.156 --> 1:05:24.876
<v Speaker 1>a filled just to do, whether that's the networking or

1:05:25.076 --> 1:05:27.756
<v Speaker 1>the helping the musical education part helping on this.

1:05:28.716 --> 1:05:30.396
<v Speaker 7>I went to Grammy camp when I was a teenager,

1:05:30.516 --> 1:05:33.556
<v Speaker 7>which is like the part of the recording academies, like

1:05:33.556 --> 1:05:36.596
<v Speaker 7>philanthropic wing is like I don't know what the form

1:05:36.636 --> 1:05:39.196
<v Speaker 7>of the camp takes now, but when I went ten

1:05:39.276 --> 1:05:42.476
<v Speaker 7>years ago, it was a ten day residential camp where

1:05:42.596 --> 1:05:44.516
<v Speaker 7>you go and you have all this instruction with these

1:05:44.596 --> 1:05:47.116
<v Speaker 7>high level instructors, and then at the end of it,

1:05:47.236 --> 1:05:49.836
<v Speaker 7>we did a showcase at l Ray, which is you know,

1:05:50.036 --> 1:05:52.516
<v Speaker 7>I ended up playing there this year myself, which was

1:05:52.596 --> 1:05:55.796
<v Speaker 7>incredible and it totally changed my life, Like was what

1:05:55.956 --> 1:05:59.596
<v Speaker 7>cemented my dream of becoming a musician in a way

1:05:59.676 --> 1:06:01.116
<v Speaker 7>that was like so much more tangible than it had

1:06:01.156 --> 1:06:04.276
<v Speaker 7>ever been before. And all I want is to keep going.

1:06:04.516 --> 1:06:05.996
<v Speaker 7>I think what I want to give is the gift

1:06:06.036 --> 1:06:07.996
<v Speaker 7>of this dream to more people. And I think that

1:06:08.076 --> 1:06:10.276
<v Speaker 7>by winning a Grammy give the gift of this dream

1:06:10.756 --> 1:06:13.556
<v Speaker 7>to other black girls. I've had so many great mentors

1:06:13.596 --> 1:06:15.836
<v Speaker 7>and so many great opportunities, and I just want to

1:06:15.916 --> 1:06:17.196
<v Speaker 7>keep I want to pay it forward more.

1:06:17.196 --> 1:06:19.116
<v Speaker 8>I want to show more people that as possible.

1:06:19.356 --> 1:06:20.076
<v Speaker 1>That's so cool.

1:06:20.316 --> 1:06:22.596
<v Speaker 7>Honestly, before Grammy Camp, I didn't think I was going

1:06:22.636 --> 1:06:24.676
<v Speaker 7>to go to music school. I thought my plan was

1:06:24.836 --> 1:06:27.116
<v Speaker 7>to apply to colleges and big First of all, I

1:06:27.116 --> 1:06:29.116
<v Speaker 7>thought I was going to leave LA and my plan

1:06:29.316 --> 1:06:31.556
<v Speaker 7>was to apply to colleges in big cities and do

1:06:31.676 --> 1:06:33.396
<v Speaker 7>music on the side. Like I thought I would maybe

1:06:33.436 --> 1:06:35.516
<v Speaker 7>go to NYU or I was like looking at Emory

1:06:35.516 --> 1:06:36.956
<v Speaker 7>because it was in Atlanta. I was like, I'll go

1:06:37.116 --> 1:06:39.876
<v Speaker 7>somewhere that has a music scene and has a big city,

1:06:39.916 --> 1:06:41.476
<v Speaker 7>and like I'll just study English or something and then

1:06:41.476 --> 1:06:42.996
<v Speaker 7>I'll play shows on the side. Like that was what

1:06:43.076 --> 1:06:44.716
<v Speaker 7>I thought I was going to do, because the only

1:06:44.796 --> 1:06:47.316
<v Speaker 7>music schools I knew about were like conservatories, and I

1:06:47.436 --> 1:06:49.156
<v Speaker 7>was like, I really want to get like I wanted

1:06:49.156 --> 1:06:51.516
<v Speaker 7>to sync my teeth into a great academic education because

1:06:51.516 --> 1:06:53.436
<v Speaker 7>I loved school and I didn't want to sacrifice that

1:06:53.516 --> 1:06:55.596
<v Speaker 7>to study music. And then I found out about USC

1:06:56.236 --> 1:06:58.516
<v Speaker 7>and I learned that I could get that Conservatory Education

1:06:58.676 --> 1:07:02.636
<v Speaker 7>and I could still take USC's general education classes, and

1:07:02.756 --> 1:07:03.796
<v Speaker 7>I was like, this is the perfect place.

1:07:03.876 --> 1:07:06.316
<v Speaker 8>And Grammy Camp was the was what I saw. I

1:07:06.396 --> 1:07:07.436
<v Speaker 8>saw as a stepping stone.

1:07:07.436 --> 1:07:09.276
<v Speaker 7>And also it was the first time I was ever

1:07:09.356 --> 1:07:12.476
<v Speaker 7>around anyone who cared about music ever, and it was awesome.

1:07:12.476 --> 1:07:13.996
<v Speaker 1>What was I like to connect with other people like that?

1:07:14.916 --> 1:07:16.476
<v Speaker 8>It felt like it was my taste of what it

1:07:16.516 --> 1:07:17.876
<v Speaker 8>would be like to go to college. I was like, Oh,

1:07:17.956 --> 1:07:19.796
<v Speaker 8>the people here like me. Everyone likes me.

1:07:19.916 --> 1:07:21.996
<v Speaker 7>Like in high school people didn't like me, and I

1:07:22.036 --> 1:07:23.796
<v Speaker 7>went to music school and everyone or I went to

1:07:24.076 --> 1:07:25.796
<v Speaker 7>Grant Camp and people liked me.

1:07:26.036 --> 1:07:27.836
<v Speaker 1>Was that like a thing, like, you know, I think

1:07:28.116 --> 1:07:30.716
<v Speaker 1>to some I think everyone feels a little marginalized in

1:07:30.796 --> 1:07:33.356
<v Speaker 1>high school, even the popular and whatever. But like, but

1:07:33.476 --> 1:07:36.476
<v Speaker 1>you really, like, truthfully, you think I had friends in

1:07:36.596 --> 1:07:37.076
<v Speaker 1>high school.

1:07:37.076 --> 1:07:38.996
<v Speaker 8>But I mean people told me they didn't like me

1:07:39.076 --> 1:07:40.276
<v Speaker 8>to my face, like I knew.

1:07:40.596 --> 1:07:43.076
<v Speaker 7>I knew that they didn't and it was mostly because

1:07:43.116 --> 1:07:45.316
<v Speaker 7>of all, you know, being super opinionated and talking about politics.

1:07:45.356 --> 1:07:46.916
<v Speaker 7>That was like a big part of why people didn't.

1:07:46.916 --> 1:07:50.076
<v Speaker 7>They thought I was like annoying and shrill and going

1:07:50.116 --> 1:07:52.116
<v Speaker 7>to mute. And also people I also sang all the time,

1:07:52.156 --> 1:07:54.036
<v Speaker 7>which is annoying. Like I just sang to myself all

1:07:54.076 --> 1:07:56.956
<v Speaker 7>the time. You go to a music camp, everybody's.

1:07:56.516 --> 1:07:58.516
<v Speaker 8>Singing themselves all the time, as it turns out, and

1:07:58.636 --> 1:08:02.076
<v Speaker 8>that is welcome. Yeah, I loved it. I was like

1:08:02.436 --> 1:08:05.396
<v Speaker 8>the happiest I'd ever been. I was so sad to leave.

1:08:05.596 --> 1:08:06.596
<v Speaker 8>I loved it there.

1:08:07.196 --> 1:08:09.116
<v Speaker 1>Wow, what gives you a confidence?

1:08:10.196 --> 1:08:14.036
<v Speaker 7>I mean, honestly, my family, Like, my family did such

1:08:14.036 --> 1:08:16.276
<v Speaker 7>a good job of making our house a safe space

1:08:16.396 --> 1:08:21.076
<v Speaker 7>that like, whenever I feel defeated or less than, we're insecure.

1:08:21.156 --> 1:08:23.716
<v Speaker 7>It's like if I go to my parents' house, they

1:08:23.916 --> 1:08:27.036
<v Speaker 7>build me up so much, Like I'll be sad about

1:08:27.036 --> 1:08:28.916
<v Speaker 7>something and I will tell them about it, and my

1:08:28.996 --> 1:08:30.196
<v Speaker 7>dad will start laughing.

1:08:29.916 --> 1:08:31.596
<v Speaker 8>Because I'll be like that, you know that's so stupid.

1:08:31.756 --> 1:08:33.636
<v Speaker 8>You know that that person's opinion doesn't mean anything.

1:08:33.876 --> 1:08:35.796
<v Speaker 7>Is that person signing your checks? Why do you care

1:08:35.796 --> 1:08:38.876
<v Speaker 7>about their opinion? Like he will just immediately just make

1:08:38.916 --> 1:08:41.316
<v Speaker 7>it so simple. And my parents will be like, do

1:08:41.356 --> 1:08:42.636
<v Speaker 7>you understand that you're the most.

1:08:42.516 --> 1:08:45.276
<v Speaker 8>Beautiful, intelligent, funny, like you have everything going for you,

1:08:45.436 --> 1:08:46.236
<v Speaker 8>like no one can tear you.

1:08:46.476 --> 1:08:48.716
<v Speaker 7>Like to them, it is a no brainer. And it's

1:08:48.756 --> 1:08:50.796
<v Speaker 7>a shock that I would ever feel bad about myself ever.

1:08:50.876 --> 1:08:55.436
<v Speaker 7>And it's their unwavering confidence in my superiority that allows

1:08:55.516 --> 1:08:57.956
<v Speaker 7>me to feel medium like I don't think I'll ever

1:08:57.996 --> 1:09:00.316
<v Speaker 7>see myself the way they see me, obviously, because that's

1:09:00.316 --> 1:09:04.236
<v Speaker 7>probably not healthy. But if I'm feeling bad and I'm like, oh,

1:09:04.356 --> 1:09:05.836
<v Speaker 7>like I'm not where I'm supposed to be in my career,

1:09:05.916 --> 1:09:08.436
<v Speaker 7>I'm feeling ugly today, like I'm feeling insecure, I'm feeling

1:09:08.836 --> 1:09:13.236
<v Speaker 7>like I'm whatever. If I can take even ten percent

1:09:13.276 --> 1:09:15.316
<v Speaker 7>of their support and their love, it just bumps me

1:09:15.396 --> 1:09:17.236
<v Speaker 7>back up to like, oh no, I'm fine, I'm gonna

1:09:17.276 --> 1:09:20.356
<v Speaker 7>be fine, and it really I attribute it mostly to them.

1:09:20.676 --> 1:09:24.676
<v Speaker 1>That's great, that's really great. Should do we should do

1:09:24.716 --> 1:09:25.156
<v Speaker 1>another song?

1:09:25.276 --> 1:09:27.916
<v Speaker 8>All right, I'm gonna tune this guitar really quick.

1:09:29.076 --> 1:09:30.596
<v Speaker 7>But I feel like the next song that I'm gonna

1:09:30.596 --> 1:09:36.956
<v Speaker 7>play is kind of on this topic because one of

1:09:37.036 --> 1:09:39.356
<v Speaker 7>the things that I have struggled with in my life

1:09:39.516 --> 1:09:44.956
<v Speaker 7>is forgiving myself for making mistakes and just being overly

1:09:45.036 --> 1:09:45.756
<v Speaker 7>hard on myself.

1:09:46.556 --> 1:09:48.476
<v Speaker 8>And so I wrote this song about that.

1:09:48.556 --> 1:10:02.356
<v Speaker 2>It's called let Me Be Wrong, just my guton belly flaw,

1:10:03.556 --> 1:10:06.716
<v Speaker 2>call the cow just it's.

1:10:07.916 --> 1:10:13.156
<v Speaker 4>Good every word, the cars, food, dance.

1:10:12.916 --> 1:10:19.276
<v Speaker 2>On glass, when my shoes are Something riding in my

1:10:19.756 --> 1:10:26.956
<v Speaker 2>brain tells me to it anyway and dune, I feel

1:10:27.196 --> 1:10:34.836
<v Speaker 2>the long decay and down its God, It's okay. Let

1:10:34.916 --> 1:10:39.316
<v Speaker 2>me be wrong, ride out to the wheels fall, rather

1:10:39.596 --> 1:10:46.356
<v Speaker 2>delusional cloud out a funeral. Let me be last, hardways

1:10:46.436 --> 1:10:49.916
<v Speaker 2>away and I've been good too long.

1:10:50.716 --> 1:10:57.156
<v Speaker 4>Let me be wrong, freeing.

1:10:56.956 --> 1:11:05.556
<v Speaker 2>My tongue, broget me like those schools at seven scene bake,

1:11:05.676 --> 1:11:09.516
<v Speaker 2>got glass ceilings, enterings.

1:11:09.676 --> 1:11:17.556
<v Speaker 5>Fuck those girls got everything. Something twisted in my chest

1:11:18.596 --> 1:11:19.956
<v Speaker 5>says good.

1:11:19.956 --> 1:11:25.916
<v Speaker 4>But not do the best when I was young, knocks.

1:11:25.636 --> 1:11:32.636
<v Speaker 5>Me out and nothing really shakes me now. Let me

1:11:33.436 --> 1:11:38.836
<v Speaker 5>be wrong all Julie's farm, rather delusional.

1:11:38.956 --> 1:11:40.316
<v Speaker 4>Lut at the funeral.

1:11:41.236 --> 1:11:44.756
<v Speaker 5>Let me you lost hard ways the way I w

1:11:45.636 --> 1:11:47.596
<v Speaker 5>and I'll be good too long.

1:11:48.356 --> 1:11:55.716
<v Speaker 9>Clell be wrong, Lelly be roight here here here here,

1:11:56.636 --> 1:12:03.636
<v Speaker 9>let me be right, Let me be roight ya here

1:12:03.996 --> 1:12:09.676
<v Speaker 9>here here, let me you rare.

1:12:10.316 --> 1:12:19.636
<v Speaker 2>I love to la ribe but dousionout of funeral, hard

1:12:19.716 --> 1:12:22.956
<v Speaker 2>ways the way I want, and I've been good to.

1:12:24.476 --> 1:12:25.516
<v Speaker 9>Let me be wrong.

1:12:28.916 --> 1:12:31.436
<v Speaker 1>Great song, thank you. I love that. I love the

1:12:31.516 --> 1:12:35.396
<v Speaker 1>western feel of that's it feels like there's like a

1:12:35.636 --> 1:12:38.236
<v Speaker 1>like a I don't know what it is, but there's

1:12:38.276 --> 1:12:39.916
<v Speaker 1>there's a little something in it that feels like a

1:12:40.796 --> 1:12:42.796
<v Speaker 1>you know, a really great country song. Thank you.

1:12:42.876 --> 1:12:45.156
<v Speaker 8>I like having a little country, little country moment here

1:12:45.196 --> 1:12:45.436
<v Speaker 8>and there.

1:12:45.556 --> 1:12:49.276
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's good. Thank you so much for this is incredible.

1:12:49.596 --> 1:12:50.756
<v Speaker 8>This has been such a great conversation.

1:12:50.876 --> 1:12:52.836
<v Speaker 1>Thank you so much for for coming by, for making

1:12:52.876 --> 1:12:53.236
<v Speaker 1>the music.

1:12:53.476 --> 1:12:54.356
<v Speaker 8>Yes, thank you so much.

1:12:54.436 --> 1:12:59.436
<v Speaker 1>Cool. In the episode description, you'll find a link to

1:12:59.516 --> 1:13:01.956
<v Speaker 1>a playlist of our favorite songs from Jensen McCrae, as

1:13:01.996 --> 1:13:04.236
<v Speaker 1>well as her latest album I Don't Know how but

1:13:04.316 --> 1:13:06.916
<v Speaker 1>They found It. Be sure to check out YouTube dot

1:13:06.956 --> 1:13:09.596
<v Speaker 1>com slash Broken Record Podcast to see all of our

1:13:09.676 --> 1:13:12.596
<v Speaker 1>video interviews, and be sure to follow us on Instagram

1:13:12.676 --> 1:13:14.996
<v Speaker 1>at the Broken Record Pod. You can follow us on

1:13:15.036 --> 1:13:18.236
<v Speaker 1>Twitter at broken Record. Broken Record is produced and edited

1:13:18.276 --> 1:13:20.676
<v Speaker 1>by Leah Rose, with marketing health from Eric Sandler and

1:13:20.756 --> 1:13:24.796
<v Speaker 1>Jordan McMillan. Our engineer is Ben Holliday. Broken Record is

1:13:24.836 --> 1:13:27.596
<v Speaker 1>production of Pushkin Industries. If you love this show and

1:13:27.716 --> 1:13:31.476
<v Speaker 1>others from Pushkin, consider subscribing to Pushkin Plus. Pushkin Plus

1:13:31.556 --> 1:13:34.196
<v Speaker 1>is a podcast subscription that offers bonus content and ad

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<v Speaker 1>free listening for four ninety nine a month. Look for

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<v Speaker 1>Pushkin Plus on Apple podcast subscriptions, and if you like

1:13:40.196 --> 1:13:42.436
<v Speaker 1>this show, please remember to share, rate, and review us

1:13:42.436 --> 1:13:45.116
<v Speaker 1>on your podcast app Our theme musics by Kenny Beats.

1:13:45.276 --> 1:13:46.236
<v Speaker 1>I'm justin Richmond.