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Speaker 1: Kitty misconnections. That was me staring. There's only two places

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Speaker 1: to find true love in this world. One is in

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Speaker 1: the makeup room at your local County morgue when you

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Speaker 1: apply to lipstick quote the old fashioned way. The other

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Speaker 1: is on the pages of Craigslist dot org. You're always

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Speaker 1: so pleased with yourself after something like that, Lee, you

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Speaker 1: just a little smile on your face. I love love

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Speaker 1: in all of its forms. Brou We scour Craigslist every

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Speaker 1: week to find the best misconnections they have to offer,

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Speaker 1: like this first one, titled my Real Mattress man woman

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Speaker 1: for Man's sixties Landfill. Oh, she says, I was struggling

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Speaker 1: to throw an entire mattress into the pit when you

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Speaker 1: offered to help. Normally, it isn't an issue for me.

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Speaker 1: I've got sturdy legs. But when you've had six babies

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Speaker 1: and those babies have had grandkids, and all twelve of

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Speaker 1: those suckers have wet that exact same bed for thirty years,

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Speaker 1: imagine the way to that thing. We worked together to

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Speaker 1: get it out of the back of my tundra. I

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Speaker 1: pushed and you pulled, and that's when I noticed that

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Speaker 1: sexy farmer's tan hiding around the neckline of your Daytona

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Speaker 1: five hundred tank top. Maybe they are a match. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: he says, ooh boy, you even looked at me twice

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Speaker 1: when I joked that I was wishing we could put

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Speaker 1: this bed to good use. I was joking, or was I?

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Speaker 1: Once the job was done, I offered you a drink

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Speaker 1: of a half empty bottle of Mexican Coca Cola. You

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Speaker 1: turned it down and walked away. The biggest mistake of

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Speaker 1: your life. Wow, you probably regretted as soon as you're

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Speaker 1: reading this. Me and my dog Hooper are looking for

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Speaker 1: a third to join our clan. If you see this

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Speaker 1: reply and tell me which toof of mine was miscolored,

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Speaker 1: so I know that it's you them that signed Carmen Michael.

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Speaker 1: My husband loves going to the dump, and now I'm

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Speaker 1: a little concerned he loves it. Is this why I

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Speaker 1: don't know? This next misconnection is titled to the Lady

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Speaker 1: in the yellow sweater who found me wandering man for

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Speaker 1: woman thirties dentist. He says, I don't know if you

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Speaker 1: remember me. I was the guy last week you saw

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Speaker 1: in the parking lot of doctor Wilson's office walking around

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Speaker 1: like I was still on a boat. Oh you're a

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Speaker 1: little wheezy. Yeah yeah. You asked if anybody was going

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Speaker 1: to drive me home. But because I was coming out

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Speaker 1: of my second root canal this month, half my face

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Speaker 1: was still numb, so I couldn't answer you. Instead, just

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Speaker 1: a large puddle of drool came out of my mouse.

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Speaker 1: Who you. You then opened the back door and put

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Speaker 1: me inside. Tell me to rest for a bit until

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Speaker 1: I felt better to drive. I really wish I could

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Speaker 1: have answered you, to tell you that wasn't my car. Instead,

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Speaker 1: I yelled at garbled no, But you thought I was

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Speaker 1: saying no as if I wanted to get behind the wheel.

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Speaker 1: We struggled, but eventually you got me inside somebody's Taurus.

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Speaker 1: So there I sat in the backseat of a stranger's

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Speaker 1: car while you stood watch, telling me through the window

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Speaker 1: you're not allowed to drive. It's too dangerous to stay

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Speaker 1: back there. I watched helplessly as my brother drove up,

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Speaker 1: then went inside the dentist office to look for me.

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Speaker 1: Oh no, I pounded on the window as he drove off.

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Speaker 1: Oh you missed it. After I remember, I cried and

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Speaker 1: kept trying to tell you it's not my car. Over

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Speaker 1: and over again. Nil. I eventually fell asleep. I did

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Speaker 1: wake up to a police officer forcefully pulling me from

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Speaker 1: the vehicle. He thought I was homeless, but thank god

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Speaker 1: a dental assistant recognized me and convinced him I wasn't

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Speaker 1: a vagrant. It's the craziest story ever. Do you think

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Speaker 1: you can respond to this because my friends think I'm

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Speaker 1: making it up. He just wants verification that it happened

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Speaker 1: that signed Tony. Somebody helped Tony out there. This next

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Speaker 1: misconnection is titled getting bumped at supper Time Woman for

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Speaker 1: Man thirties Golden Corral super Buffet. I guess so, She says,

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Speaker 1: you were the brown haired cutie in a plaid shirt

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Speaker 1: staring at the soft serve machine like it held the

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Speaker 1: secrets to the universe. I'll never forget the moment when

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Speaker 1: I accidentally bumped into you and we turned to look

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Speaker 1: at each other at the exact same time. I felt

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Speaker 1: like it was out of a romantic movie Ghostbusters. Three. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I haven't either. Love you with a large bowl of

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Speaker 1: undercooked mac and cheese with ranch on top, me me

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Speaker 1: sporting a proud fudge mustache. Oh my god. As we

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Speaker 1: exchanged pleasantries. How does it get all over your top lip? Child?

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Speaker 1: I love the people that eat on the way back

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Speaker 1: from the can't even get to the table, she says.

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Speaker 1: As we exchanged pleasantries, we laughed as a kid with

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Speaker 1: boogers oozing down his nostrils approached the chocolate fountain. His

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Speaker 1: brother lifted him up and he basically had his face

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Speaker 1: on the machine, sticking his tongue out to lick it.

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Speaker 1: Kids are so funny sometimes. Later on, I spied you

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Speaker 1: drop a dinner roll on the floor and just casually

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Speaker 1: pick it up and there's more for free. Just got

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Speaker 1: at that point I knew you were my type of guy.

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Speaker 1: No shame with the fortified immune system. Okay, just like

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Speaker 1: my paw rest in peace. Okay, it wasn't too strong.

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Speaker 1: You died of the bird flew parentheses. Not his fault

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Speaker 1: that anyway. I'd love to bump you again at the

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Speaker 1: corral split a meat loaf. I'm lonely, she died that

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Speaker 1: signed Tawny. Why do I feel like has already found

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Speaker 1: that man at the Golden Corral again? Those are your

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Speaker 1: Cigslist misconnections for the week. We got your phone tap

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Speaker 1: coming up in just a few minutes. Freaking Jeffrey in

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Speaker 1: the morning,