WEBVTT - Running Interference? 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:03.360 Welcome to Insider's Guide to the Other Side, a production 0:00:03.440 --> 0:00:09.280 of iHeartRadio. Hi, y'all, I'm Julie. 0:00:09.400 --> 0:00:13.320 Hi there, I'm Brenda. Welcome to Insider's Guide to the 0:00:13.360 --> 0:00:13.920 Other Side. 0:00:14.400 --> 0:00:16.880 Now, y'all need to know that we are obsessed with 0:00:17.320 --> 0:00:20.000 everything on the other side. 0:00:20.480 --> 0:00:23.800 Yes, we are, because once you learn to navigate the energetic, 0:00:24.360 --> 0:00:27.920 or to some the invisible world, life is going to 0:00:27.920 --> 0:00:30.600 be more fun and much more serene. 0:00:31.320 --> 0:00:35.640 Uh heck, yes it can. Because let's be honest, br in, 0:00:35.720 --> 0:00:36.600 earth school is hard. 0:00:36.640 --> 0:00:40.080 In fact, you taught me that let's crush Earth School together. 0:00:44.560 --> 0:00:49.040 Well, hello, the Witchy of Pooh. How are you that 0:00:49.159 --> 0:00:52.199 is so bad? I mean, is this a great emoji? 0:00:56.640 --> 0:01:01.800 I'm just used to it. I think of it surely 0:01:01.880 --> 0:01:04.000 as affection, not as actuality. 0:01:05.840 --> 0:01:07.440 Affection only affection. 0:01:09.240 --> 0:01:13.399 How are you doing good? I'm good my house, Ye 0:01:13.680 --> 0:01:15.760 just rock and roll. How about you? What are you 0:01:15.840 --> 0:01:16.080 up to? 0:01:16.440 --> 0:01:20.360 Well, well, I'll tell you. This morning I went to 0:01:20.480 --> 0:01:25.360 ET for my ankle, so I'm like, do physical therapy 0:01:25.400 --> 0:01:29.520 on my ankle that I screwed up myself. And it's 0:01:29.560 --> 0:01:32.120 like at all I've done for the last week since 0:01:32.160 --> 0:01:36.160 I went to see the foot doctor. Lady is complain 0:01:36.240 --> 0:01:40.040 about because this, I think is my first marker about age, 0:01:40.800 --> 0:01:43.840 Like this is my first physical marker about age. And 0:01:43.920 --> 0:01:47.000 I'm like, man, get all this fucking sucks because before 0:01:47.920 --> 0:01:52.160 something might hurt and then it would like repair. You know, 0:01:52.640 --> 0:01:55.680 it's like this didn't do that. 0:01:57.800 --> 0:02:03.240 So yeah, you know, great compassion. Self compassion is important. 0:02:04.520 --> 0:02:05.800 Oh they give me homework. 0:02:07.080 --> 0:02:09.040 Oh yeah, yeah that's awesome. 0:02:09.400 --> 0:02:11.800 That's awes anyway, already feeling better, but anyway, so that's 0:02:11.840 --> 0:02:15.560 what I'm doing on focusing on self care for my 0:02:15.680 --> 0:02:16.360 right ankle. 0:02:17.360 --> 0:02:21.600 Nice nice, nice, nice, good good good good. So also 0:02:21.680 --> 0:02:23.959 to remember, like even when you're going to bed at night, 0:02:24.440 --> 0:02:28.200 to imagine the etheric layer, the first layer of energy 0:02:28.280 --> 0:02:30.920 that wraps around the body, right, so it's that light 0:02:31.000 --> 0:02:34.200 blue grid. You can put your hands around and rub 0:02:34.200 --> 0:02:36.880 your palms together, right, open up those palm chakras, and 0:02:36.960 --> 0:02:40.120 then wrap your hands around your ankle and fire up 0:02:40.160 --> 0:02:42.919 the etheric layer and say, heal, heal, heal you. I'm 0:02:42.919 --> 0:02:44.280 not going to be standing on you, I'm not going 0:02:44.360 --> 0:02:50.040 to be demanding of you. Just download healing, strengthen, removing 0:02:50.080 --> 0:02:54.120 any inflammation, rebuilding tissues, blood flow, all of it, and 0:02:54.240 --> 0:02:58.200 go to bed, sweet. Yeah, it's really good. Right. 0:02:58.440 --> 0:03:00.720 Oh well, so here's what's going to be great. I 0:03:01.120 --> 0:03:03.799 will actually do this every single night, and then I'll 0:03:03.800 --> 0:03:07.040 go in the physical therapy and say, y'all need to 0:03:07.080 --> 0:03:11.280 refund my money because fix my shit by telling me 0:03:11.360 --> 0:03:12.320 what to do at night. 0:03:14.320 --> 0:03:16.239 You still need to work the tissues, my dear. 0:03:17.520 --> 0:03:20.040 I know, I actually do all. I'm really good when 0:03:20.040 --> 0:03:22.280 you give me homework. If you don't give me homework, 0:03:22.360 --> 0:03:25.480 I'm on my own and it's never pleasant. 0:03:26.200 --> 0:03:28.280 This will just enhance what you're already doing. 0:03:28.600 --> 0:03:29.800 Wait, thank you? 0:03:30.639 --> 0:03:35.600 Yeah? Yeah, so today, Yeah, what do we got today? 0:03:35.880 --> 0:03:41.320 We have a fabulous question from actually just and I 0:03:41.400 --> 0:03:44.040 believe it's a sheek is the way it's spelled. But 0:03:44.200 --> 0:03:53.800 jesse Cat is right. Jesse Katt had a really amazing question. 0:03:54.680 --> 0:03:56.280 What does jesse Kat have gone on? 0:03:56.440 --> 0:04:00.600 Such a great question? So here we go, miss jesse Kat. 0:04:01.320 --> 0:04:05.760 Of course, this is this is the best part. Hi again, 0:04:09.160 --> 0:04:15.280 Hi Darling, I'm back. Hi again. Wait till jesse Cat 0:04:15.400 --> 0:04:21.880 starts sitting high again times twelve? You know, so right? 0:04:21.960 --> 0:04:24.800 I love it. So it's high again. I have a 0:04:24.880 --> 0:04:31.360 question about the potential of interfering with someone's karma as 0:04:31.400 --> 0:04:37.040 an example, right, good question, she says. As an example, 0:04:37.360 --> 0:04:40.200 let's say you find let's say you find out you 0:04:40.240 --> 0:04:43.400 know someone is being cheated on or that someone is 0:04:43.440 --> 0:04:47.360 wronging them in some way. There are people out there 0:04:47.520 --> 0:04:50.279 who will not say anything to them about that because 0:04:50.320 --> 0:04:54.159 they don't want to interfere or get into business that 0:04:54.240 --> 0:04:59.520 isn't theirs. My question is, would spirit prefer if we 0:04:59.640 --> 0:05:03.839 all stood for what's right and informed? That's an assumption, 0:05:03.920 --> 0:05:08.920 by the way, Uh, what's right and inform someone when 0:05:08.960 --> 0:05:12.760 they are unknowingly being wronged or would it be interfering 0:05:12.880 --> 0:05:15.880 with their karma by doing so? And here's the second 0:05:15.920 --> 0:05:20.560 best part. Thanks for being awesome. Love love a cat, 0:05:20.760 --> 0:05:22.000 just a cat, Give you too. 0:05:21.920 --> 0:05:27.040 Honey, right back, right back, this cat. Such a rich, 0:05:27.160 --> 0:05:32.160 rich question And really, like I think for me as 0:05:32.160 --> 0:05:40.200 I'm navigating our school, this is the foundational game at play, right? 0:05:40.360 --> 0:05:45.640 How can I minimize the karma I'm creating? How can 0:05:45.760 --> 0:05:51.560 I offend the least amount of people by being spacious 0:05:51.640 --> 0:05:59.000 and acknowledging their individual expressions and not feel like I'm 0:05:59.040 --> 0:06:03.320 being taken advantage of or abandon my own responsibility or 0:06:03.320 --> 0:06:06.320 my own rights in an engagement like this, Is that 0:06:06.320 --> 0:06:08.440 that to me, this goes to the heart of my 0:06:08.520 --> 0:06:12.400 everyday anxiety, you know, as I'm trying to like do 0:06:12.640 --> 0:06:15.920 the you know this this phrase she has, like what's 0:06:15.960 --> 0:06:20.800 the right thing? Well, what's right is so subjective. It's 0:06:20.800 --> 0:06:24.760 so subjective because we can never operate by full information. 0:06:25.360 --> 0:06:30.000 We can't be all knowing right. We're not of their 0:06:30.080 --> 0:06:33.880 past lives, of other engagements. They may have an agreement 0:06:33.920 --> 0:06:36.760 that says, hey, you know, you get to express however 0:06:36.839 --> 0:06:38.840 you want. You know, we look at it as cheating, 0:06:38.880 --> 0:06:41.200 but they have an agreement they don't may not want 0:06:41.240 --> 0:06:44.080 people to know, or maybe a private thing, or it 0:06:44.200 --> 0:06:47.880 could absolutely be a betrayal. I mean, we don't have 0:06:47.960 --> 0:06:50.479 their standards. You know how that is we never know 0:06:50.520 --> 0:06:51.920 what goes on behind closed doors. 0:06:52.560 --> 0:07:00.320 Listen, I it's funny because I have found people that 0:07:01.640 --> 0:07:05.160 even and I'm going to say no things psychically, because 0:07:05.240 --> 0:07:08.600 the question isn't actually knowing things psychically. The question is 0:07:09.360 --> 0:07:13.160 like somebody may have told you kind of thing, and 0:07:13.480 --> 0:07:18.480 you know, your rule has always been if you don't ask, 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:22.440 I'm not gonna tell. So that's always been one of 0:07:22.480 --> 0:07:24.880 your you know, golden rules is like if you don't ask, 0:07:24.920 --> 0:07:29.760 don't tell. But I actually, you know, it's funny. What 0:07:29.880 --> 0:07:32.360 I found though, where I was getting is that I 0:07:32.400 --> 0:07:36.400 have I have noticed people who like to tell other 0:07:36.440 --> 0:07:40.520 people's stuff or tell them stuff that they hear about them. 0:07:40.640 --> 0:07:45.760 They think, whatever it may be, that there's something going 0:07:45.800 --> 0:07:51.160 on with them, like if there's right, like it's I've 0:07:51.200 --> 0:07:56.520 noticed certain types of people where uh, they have to 0:07:56.520 --> 0:08:00.680 be know it alls, you know, like there's they're proving 0:08:00.760 --> 0:08:04.920 that they know something with no thought of the damage 0:08:05.040 --> 0:08:05.960 that they're inflicting. 0:08:07.440 --> 0:08:13.240 In many communities, right, it could be family, could be social, community, 0:08:13.480 --> 0:08:19.920 or organized around some event or organization or whatever. Information 0:08:20.480 --> 0:08:24.760 is status, it's power, and so the more I know, 0:08:25.880 --> 0:08:28.240 the more the higher I am in the in the 0:08:28.280 --> 0:08:32.240 status of the community. And so that's you know, back 0:08:32.280 --> 0:08:36.160 in the day, that status would have been the neighbor, 0:08:36.200 --> 0:08:39.800 I'm bewitched. What was it, Gladys Gladys Kravitz? Is that right? 0:08:40.320 --> 0:08:41.000 Something like that? 0:08:41.360 --> 0:08:43.640 Okay, close enough, let's go with it. 0:08:44.280 --> 0:08:46.920 Okay, is that am I switching shows? 0:08:48.640 --> 0:08:55.160 Maybe? But you keep talking and I'm okay, okay, yeah, 0:08:55.240 --> 0:08:56.560 this is I'm out of my land, y'all. 0:08:56.760 --> 0:09:03.720 But so, especially when things are held in confidence and 0:09:03.760 --> 0:09:06.080 then people say, well you know, it's not quite that way. 0:09:06.240 --> 0:09:09.960 So they may not have a full betrayal, but they will, 0:09:10.280 --> 0:09:12.760 you know, nod to like I'm in the note. That 0:09:12.800 --> 0:09:16.400 will elevate them. And you know, I feel like that 0:09:16.840 --> 0:09:20.920 does create some karma because you're actually doing damage to someone. 0:09:21.960 --> 0:09:24.720 Usually this is done behind someone else's back, and so 0:09:24.840 --> 0:09:29.120 that that does create karma is my personal interpretation of that. 0:09:30.040 --> 0:09:30.760 What do you think? 0:09:30.960 --> 0:09:34.160 Well, I think it was Gladys Kravitz. Oh, I got it, 0:09:34.520 --> 0:09:38.240 and it was bewitched, and and I have to tell 0:09:38.280 --> 0:09:42.320 you what's so funny is that Suzanne will always reference 0:09:42.400 --> 0:09:46.720 so and so is Gladys Kravitz. It's hilarious. I didn't 0:09:46.720 --> 0:09:49.440 know it's bewitched. And they even showed a picture I 0:09:49.480 --> 0:09:50.559 have to show you just so. 0:09:50.559 --> 0:09:53.720 You Yeah, she's looking out the window. 0:09:53.840 --> 0:09:55.079 Yeah, exactly right. 0:09:56.240 --> 0:09:58.920 I don't know a lot about the media, but bewitched. 0:10:00.080 --> 0:10:02.400 Totally no. So you know what I think my big 0:10:02.400 --> 0:10:04.120 good idea I think we should take I just looked 0:10:04.120 --> 0:10:06.160 at the time. It's take a quick break and let's 0:10:06.160 --> 0:10:07.880 come back and pick this up, because I think this 0:10:07.920 --> 0:10:09.480 is a really interesting kind of. 0:10:09.400 --> 0:10:16.480 Direction and welcome back. 0:10:19.640 --> 0:10:23.200 Oh my god, that was so funny. You so give 0:10:23.280 --> 0:10:27.400 us just the poof. The poof is fantastic. Okay, So 0:10:27.440 --> 0:10:28.840 where were we? 0:10:28.840 --> 0:10:32.800 We were talking about status and how when our ego 0:10:33.040 --> 0:10:37.199 is involved and we sometimes forget that we've pledged confidence 0:10:37.240 --> 0:10:40.840 to someone and you know, we're going for status. 0:10:41.200 --> 0:10:45.520 Yeah, you know, I I think I faced a lot 0:10:45.520 --> 0:10:47.960 of this in the in the corporate world, you know, 0:10:48.040 --> 0:10:52.400 because everybody's looking for status, right, it's. 0:10:52.240 --> 0:10:53.800 A constant feeding frenzy. 0:10:54.280 --> 0:10:58.800 No, it's it is, it's it's constant. And yeah, you know, 0:10:58.920 --> 0:11:01.000 I I saw a lot of people like I was 0:11:01.160 --> 0:11:05.079 so funny that this topic kind of comes up because 0:11:05.840 --> 0:11:09.760 there was a woman that I worked with and she 0:11:09.920 --> 0:11:11.800 was kind of known to be the one to just 0:11:11.880 --> 0:11:16.040 like repeat things off a page, like numbers or something 0:11:16.160 --> 0:11:20.800 like that, and did not have the ability to actually 0:11:20.840 --> 0:11:22.760 discern what the hell was going on in the room, 0:11:23.200 --> 0:11:28.120 you know, but like felt like she needed to be heard, 0:11:28.840 --> 0:11:31.480 and what she used as her tool was just this 0:11:31.559 --> 0:11:35.520 piece of paper that had there were numbers, but you know. 0:11:35.920 --> 0:11:38.400 Numbers, there was no content, context, no. 0:11:38.440 --> 0:11:41.880 Context, and they're not absolute, you know, they're all based 0:11:41.920 --> 0:11:43.720 on lots of different things. It's not like it's not 0:11:43.800 --> 0:11:45.600 always the only truth. Right. 0:11:45.760 --> 0:11:48.920 Well, Well, I worked in finance. Right, So I know 0:11:49.000 --> 0:11:52.600 that's tucking, but right, can you can cut the numbers 0:11:52.640 --> 0:11:53.320 any way you want? 0:11:53.480 --> 0:11:53.920 Correct? 0:11:54.480 --> 0:11:57.320 Right, So the numbers are real for how you cut them. 0:11:57.360 --> 0:11:58.480 But you can cut them this way, you can cut 0:11:58.520 --> 0:12:00.040 them in that way. You can slice it that way. 0:12:00.200 --> 0:12:03.800 Right, and you can use them as a weapon when 0:12:03.960 --> 0:12:06.240 there actually weren't intended to be a weapon like so 0:12:06.320 --> 0:12:10.800 that so and she was somebody who was looking to 0:12:12.360 --> 0:12:19.199 to level up her status, right, And I think karmically, 0:12:20.400 --> 0:12:23.200 I can I really can't reveal who this is. But 0:12:23.280 --> 0:12:27.720 I'm telling us you paying for it now because well, 0:12:27.760 --> 0:12:32.920 because she didn't, she didn't actually bother to learn the 0:12:33.080 --> 0:12:37.760 difference to discern from just you know, circulating the air 0:12:37.880 --> 0:12:43.200 around your head versus actually contributing something that was valuable. 0:12:43.320 --> 0:12:48.040 So we go back to the question about contributing something valuable. 0:12:49.720 --> 0:12:53.800 If someone thinks something or heard something, you know, that's 0:12:53.840 --> 0:12:57.439 not valuable information, you know, because if somebody's who's doing 0:12:57.480 --> 0:13:00.320 you wrong? I think it's there was a really great question. 0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:02.760 It's like, good lord, how many movies or TV shows 0:13:02.800 --> 0:13:06.480 have we had about somebody done wrong? Whatever the wrong 0:13:06.559 --> 0:13:09.120 may be. But there's all these wrongs And also how 0:13:09.200 --> 0:13:13.320 many times has that accusation been wrong? Right? 0:13:13.400 --> 0:13:16.040 Well, and that's and that's the thing, like I'm thinking 0:13:16.040 --> 0:13:21.760 about Jessica's question, and I think, you know, oftentimes we 0:13:21.880 --> 0:13:25.240 have our inner circle where we're where we would have 0:13:25.480 --> 0:13:28.680 literally had the conversation that says, you know, for me, 0:13:28.720 --> 0:13:32.040 it'd be like, girlfriend, if you ever get a line 0:13:32.040 --> 0:13:34.560 of sight on something I'm doing where I'm not seeing 0:13:34.600 --> 0:13:36.360 what's going on, or I'm crossing a line that I 0:13:36.400 --> 0:13:38.240 shouldn't or I'm getting close to a line that I 0:13:38.240 --> 0:13:40.920 don't see, like you have carte blanche, let me know, 0:13:42.360 --> 0:13:45.280 send up a flare like have and like you have 0:13:45.320 --> 0:13:48.600 to have my back. And and that's you know, that's 0:13:48.640 --> 0:13:51.800 one thing because if someone comes to you from outside 0:13:51.840 --> 0:13:54.439 you in your circle and says, so, how are things 0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:55.040 at home? 0:13:55.559 --> 0:13:56.480 Oh my god? 0:13:56.679 --> 0:14:01.800 Right here right like bad bad karmount, Like that's I mean, 0:14:02.040 --> 0:14:04.680 it's not done out of grace, It's not it's not 0:14:04.840 --> 0:14:08.960 done out of caring for the person. It's literally like 0:14:09.559 --> 0:14:11.079 I've got the status now. 0:14:11.320 --> 0:14:13.079 Right, Yes, I'm in charge. 0:14:13.120 --> 0:14:16.280 I have information yeah right, and I can lord it 0:14:16.320 --> 0:14:19.640 over you, you know, And it's you know, that's so 0:14:19.720 --> 0:14:23.280 I think how things are delivered is as important as 0:14:23.360 --> 0:14:25.760 what's delivered to agree. 0:14:26.040 --> 0:14:28.760 And you know, one of the things that you've talked 0:14:28.760 --> 0:14:34.360 about for so long that I practice and I and 0:14:34.440 --> 0:14:40.800 I try to teach others is this very magical thing 0:14:40.880 --> 0:14:45.800 called permission. Yeah, And so I think that in this 0:14:46.120 --> 0:14:50.120 in these in this kind of general life scenario scenario 0:14:50.160 --> 0:14:54.920 that could be a bazillion different scenarios. The supplural of 0:14:55.000 --> 0:15:03.360 scenario is just so anyways, wondering keeping score that that 0:15:04.520 --> 0:15:07.120 if there is something that is that you think with 0:15:07.200 --> 0:15:09.120 somebody that you care about, because I think that's the 0:15:09.120 --> 0:15:12.359 other thing that if you're gonna if there's some somebody 0:15:12.560 --> 0:15:16.400 that you deeply care about and you have a suspicion 0:15:16.720 --> 0:15:20.840 or what you may call a fact, you know, I 0:15:20.840 --> 0:15:22.720 think you have to ask them because I'm going to 0:15:22.800 --> 0:15:24.680 tell you I've asked people things. It's like, do you 0:15:24.680 --> 0:15:27.680 want me to say this or call them in a way, 0:15:27.800 --> 0:15:33.640 and I've gotten no. M Yeah. 0:15:33.840 --> 0:15:37.160 But this is the thing. What's so beautiful about asking 0:15:37.160 --> 0:15:41.560 the question is you're literally putting other people in charge 0:15:41.840 --> 0:15:46.360 of their situation. When you show up with information and 0:15:47.600 --> 0:15:52.960 you know, without permission, that's that can feel like being 0:15:53.080 --> 0:15:54.480 victimized all over again. 0:15:54.640 --> 0:15:57.800 Exactly right, so I think there's ways to go about it, right. 0:15:57.920 --> 0:16:01.560 I think one way is, you know, you kind of 0:16:01.600 --> 0:16:04.560 have to have a checklist, And on that checklist is 0:16:04.680 --> 0:16:06.840 do I actually deeply care about this person that I 0:16:06.840 --> 0:16:09.200 have this information about. If the answer is yes, then 0:16:09.200 --> 0:16:11.400 you go to question two. If the answer is no, 0:16:11.920 --> 0:16:13.640 move on with your life. 0:16:14.040 --> 0:16:17.920 You're out. Yeah, you know, move on yeah, right, And 0:16:17.960 --> 0:16:21.760 that's that's why it's literally not my business. Correct, this 0:16:21.800 --> 0:16:24.360 is not a normal conversation this person and I would have. 0:16:25.280 --> 0:16:28.680 I shouldn't have access to this information, right, right. 0:16:28.800 --> 0:16:31.760 And even when you ask yourself that question, ask it 0:16:31.800 --> 0:16:34.200 a couple times just to make sure your answer is 0:16:34.240 --> 0:16:37.040 the same, because there are people who like to feel 0:16:37.040 --> 0:16:41.400 important and they might actually think that, oh I do 0:16:41.520 --> 0:16:44.000 love this person, that person doesn't give two fucking shits 0:16:44.000 --> 0:16:49.720 about you. It's like, so it's you grandizing yourself, right, 0:16:49.920 --> 0:16:53.560 Like there's a lot of that self grandizing that people 0:16:53.640 --> 0:16:57.040 will do to other people in their community with status, 0:16:57.040 --> 0:16:58.600 Like this is not forget any of this is just 0:16:58.640 --> 0:17:01.760 the flat ass truth, flat as no, flat out it's 0:17:01.760 --> 0:17:04.080 it can't help it saying ask whenever I can. 0:17:05.520 --> 0:17:08.840 So this is this is human nature, right. Status is 0:17:08.880 --> 0:17:13.280 important it's how we, you know, survive and thrive. That's 0:17:13.320 --> 0:17:14.800 what our ego would have us believe. 0:17:15.160 --> 0:17:20.879 So then you go number two. Number two is you 0:17:20.920 --> 0:17:23.240 make the decision this is somebody I deeply care about 0:17:23.560 --> 0:17:27.320 and I want to share information, and then you actually 0:17:27.359 --> 0:17:29.720 ask permission. It's like, I think I have something that 0:17:29.760 --> 0:17:31.880 you might want to know. But if you don't, it's 0:17:32.000 --> 0:17:36.040 super cool, you know, like you give people an out right, 0:17:36.080 --> 0:17:39.080 it's an invitation, but it's also you don't have to 0:17:39.119 --> 0:17:39.960 show up for the ball. 0:17:41.119 --> 0:17:44.000 And I also think it's important to say, look, I 0:17:44.000 --> 0:17:47.960 have information that not It doesn't matter how I came 0:17:48.000 --> 0:17:52.240 by it, but if it's not information you want it 0:17:52.280 --> 0:17:56.040 will it will stay with me? Like that's that's an important. 0:17:55.600 --> 0:17:59.320 Piece confidence exactly right. Yeah, and to let them know. 0:18:00.160 --> 0:18:02.600 And number three is I say yes, and then you're like, listen, 0:18:03.320 --> 0:18:06.840 I either saw this, I heard this, whatever, whatever evidence 0:18:06.960 --> 0:18:09.159 that you can put there and say take it for 0:18:09.200 --> 0:18:11.679 what it is. It may or may not be true, 0:18:12.359 --> 0:18:15.639 but it's but it's it felt important for you to 0:18:15.760 --> 0:18:17.879 have it if you wanted it, and then now you 0:18:17.920 --> 0:18:19.800 have it and you can do with it whatever you 0:18:19.840 --> 0:18:23.199 see fit. You can confront you cannot you can do 0:18:23.280 --> 0:18:27.520 whatever you choose, but like, that's a healthy relationship, not 0:18:27.600 --> 0:18:31.760 looking for status, that is based in love and respect 0:18:32.200 --> 0:18:36.000 and all of those things. And I got an interesting 0:18:36.000 --> 0:18:47.360 story for you. I think you make come back. Yeah, okay, 0:18:48.560 --> 0:18:49.080 all right. 0:18:49.000 --> 0:18:54.760 And welcome back. So help you you have aye a while. 0:18:56.240 --> 0:19:01.520 You have a story for us about keeping confidence or confronting. 0:19:01.200 --> 0:19:05.919 I do, and and I'm sure you probably have the 0:19:05.920 --> 0:19:09.560 same story. And everybody that's listening has the same story. 0:19:10.240 --> 0:19:14.720 And it is at one of the people I love 0:19:14.840 --> 0:19:18.200 dearly in this world. So that checks off that box, right, 0:19:18.280 --> 0:19:19.800 So I kind of want to tell the story and 0:19:19.840 --> 0:19:24.160 go through these steps and check the box. And she's 0:19:24.200 --> 0:19:28.160 a very close friend of mine in Los Angeles and 0:19:30.160 --> 0:19:37.200 she met this woman that she started dating who I met, Uh, 0:19:37.680 --> 0:19:41.080 wasn't a fan of. Didn't say anything, right. 0:19:41.560 --> 0:19:44.320 It's not my business. 0:19:44.359 --> 0:19:47.760 It's like, if this is who she's into, attracted to, 0:19:48.119 --> 0:19:51.640 loves whatever, it may be, rock on, right. 0:19:51.720 --> 0:19:52.360 Yeah. 0:19:52.400 --> 0:19:57.399 So about six months into it relationship, she says to me, 0:19:57.520 --> 0:20:00.800 she goes, so, what do you think about what's her 0:20:00.840 --> 0:20:02.439 fake name that we were using, Sally? 0:20:02.520 --> 0:20:02.800 Sally? 0:20:04.280 --> 0:20:10.520 What do you think about Sally? Step number two? I'm like, well, 0:20:10.560 --> 0:20:12.879 of course, I have a point of view and thoughts, 0:20:12.960 --> 0:20:15.120 but do you want to hear them? Because if you don't, 0:20:15.160 --> 0:20:19.919 that's okay. Yeah, and she paused, She looked at me, 0:20:19.960 --> 0:20:27.800 and she goes, okay, tell me, I said, well, and 0:20:27.840 --> 0:20:31.719 I went on my not very complimentary list of what 0:20:31.760 --> 0:20:37.919 I actually thought. But it was out of love, right, Okay. 0:20:38.000 --> 0:20:45.240 So she ends up marrying this person, yeah, this Sally 0:20:47.359 --> 0:20:54.800 as kid. Oh, then if he gets a divorce, calls 0:20:54.840 --> 0:20:58.639 me and says, you were right, And I said, I 0:20:58.640 --> 0:21:01.560 don't want to be right, honey, I actually in this scenario, 0:21:01.880 --> 0:21:04.480 I wanted to be wrong. She's been no, like full 0:21:04.560 --> 0:21:08.320 on everything you said. And I go, yeah, I said, 0:21:08.359 --> 0:21:10.359 but it's not what any of this is about. What 0:21:10.480 --> 0:21:12.639 this is about. If this is what you had to 0:21:12.680 --> 0:21:16.800 do to get your little girl, then it was all 0:21:16.800 --> 0:21:19.440 worth it. It didn't matter what I said. I said. 0:21:19.480 --> 0:21:22.000 In fact, I'm glad you didn't listen to me, because 0:21:22.040 --> 0:21:27.080 you wouldn't actually be in the position of motherhood and 0:21:27.119 --> 0:21:31.360 you wouldn't be a parent, right, And so it's that 0:21:31.480 --> 0:21:38.920 whole story is fully, wholeheartedly a place of love, right, 0:21:39.280 --> 0:21:41.639 nothing outside I don't want like you. 0:21:41.720 --> 0:21:44.760 So you didn't go back with I told you so yeah. 0:21:44.440 --> 0:21:47.560 Oh not in a million years. I was devastated. I 0:21:47.640 --> 0:21:51.440 really was. I'm like, I am just so sorry. Yeah, 0:21:51.480 --> 0:21:55.080 but I'm yet so happy because of what you ended 0:21:55.160 --> 0:21:57.879 up like where you ended up in. This kid, by 0:21:57.920 --> 0:22:00.119 the way, is magnificent because she is a car and 0:22:00.160 --> 0:22:03.840 ask copy of our mom, and we need more of 0:22:04.000 --> 0:22:10.000 those in the world. So I don't want to be right, 0:22:10.040 --> 0:22:13.800 and I think that's also part of it is step 0:22:14.400 --> 0:22:20.480 somewhere between two and three is whatever information you think 0:22:20.520 --> 0:22:22.880 you have, and especially if it's going to hurt somebody 0:22:23.400 --> 0:22:29.240 that you love, that don't want to be right, it's 0:22:29.280 --> 0:22:32.560 okay to be wrong. And I think that's a really 0:22:32.600 --> 0:22:35.680 important piece of this whole thing, is that this isn't 0:22:35.720 --> 0:22:39.199 about right or wrong. And really what I believe that 0:22:39.240 --> 0:22:43.000 spirit wants us from us is whatever move that we make, 0:22:43.320 --> 0:22:47.080 whatever steps we take, it's out of love. 0:22:48.359 --> 0:22:51.800 I think, yes, I agree with all that, and that's 0:22:52.080 --> 0:22:56.639 that's a great story about this navigating this kind of situation. 0:22:57.320 --> 0:23:02.200 I think the difference in listening to Jack to jesse 0:23:02.320 --> 0:23:07.080 Kat's question is that it's one thing to say what 0:23:07.119 --> 0:23:10.000 do you think, because it's she was literally asking for 0:23:10.040 --> 0:23:15.160 you for your thoughts, not you someone coming with outside 0:23:15.200 --> 0:23:19.560 information beyond you that says true, Hey, you know this person, 0:23:20.080 --> 0:23:23.400 you know you should know this is going on. Yeah, 0:23:23.520 --> 0:23:24.840 that's that's a difficult. 0:23:24.840 --> 0:23:29.400 But even with that, if you decide to share it, 0:23:30.040 --> 0:23:32.399 you do it out of love. You don't do it 0:23:32.440 --> 0:23:35.200 out of being right, or you don't do it out 0:23:35.240 --> 0:23:36.720 because again I think it's that. 0:23:38.200 --> 0:23:43.520 Yeah, well, and again what's right? We don't know? It 0:23:43.560 --> 0:23:46.760 takes you have to take in a much bigger picture 0:23:46.920 --> 0:23:50.879 and know be aware of your own bias and know 0:23:51.000 --> 0:23:56.040 that people live in very differently. Right now, I'm teaching 0:23:56.160 --> 0:23:59.440 my turo one class right online, and this is something 0:23:59.520 --> 0:24:02.320 that we're talking about a lot, because when someone comes 0:24:02.320 --> 0:24:06.240 to you for reading, they come and their field is 0:24:06.240 --> 0:24:09.840 wide open, their sole information is available, and all kinds 0:24:09.880 --> 0:24:13.800 of information comes through the spread, and you have to 0:24:13.800 --> 0:24:16.920 be checking your bias. So this whole concept of right 0:24:16.960 --> 0:24:22.280 and wrong how I navigate our school is completely irrelevant 0:24:22.520 --> 0:24:26.480 in that conversation. And to try and get students to 0:24:26.560 --> 0:24:31.760 wrap their brains around that is interesting and challenging and 0:24:31.880 --> 0:24:35.639 very frustrating for them, even to the level of someone's like, 0:24:35.680 --> 0:24:37.919 you know, you didn't even ask them what their question was. 0:24:38.000 --> 0:24:42.040 I'm like the question is irrelevant, you know, because whatever 0:24:42.119 --> 0:24:45.960 question they're asking, there's a whole bigger force at play 0:24:46.040 --> 0:24:48.800 that says, this is what we need to convey to 0:24:48.880 --> 0:24:52.320 this person and to be spacious with that. And it 0:24:52.359 --> 0:24:54.280 doesn't mean that the client doesn't get to ask their 0:24:54.359 --> 0:24:56.359 question and then you can, you know, look for the 0:24:56.400 --> 0:24:58.560 answer in that way. But there's a whole there's this. 0:24:59.240 --> 0:25:01.959 Of course, I've want clients to have answers to the question, 0:25:02.080 --> 0:25:05.160 but in that moment, there's a bigger game at play. 0:25:05.280 --> 0:25:07.840 So I have to give what I get and it 0:25:07.880 --> 0:25:09.720 may not be frustrating, or I may they may be 0:25:09.760 --> 0:25:12.840