Speaker 1: I know I could be successful all by myself, but
Speaker 1: it is that much better having a partner to do
Speaker 1: it with. Dead Ass. I concur and on the days
Speaker 1: that I'm lacking my business partner over here makes it
Speaker 1: that much easier. Easy on the eyes too. Are you've
Speaker 1: been flirting a light late? It's going normally? My mojo back, y'all. Hey,
Speaker 1: I'm Cadine and we're the ellis Is. You may know
Speaker 1: us from posting funny videos with our boys and reading
Speaker 1: each other publicly as a form of therapy. Wait, I'll
Speaker 1: make you need derby most days. Wow. And one more
Speaker 1: important thing to mention, we're married. We are. We created
Speaker 1: this podcast to open dialogue about some of life's most
Speaker 1: taboo topics, things most folks don't want to talk about
Speaker 1: through the lens of a millennium married couple. Dead as
Speaker 1: is the term that we say every day. So when
Speaker 1: we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts, the truth,
Speaker 1: the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. Were about
Speaker 1: to take pillow talk to a whole new level. Dead
Speaker 1: Ass starts right now. I have so many stories of
Speaker 1: times that we've worked together, but I think I'm going
Speaker 1: to tell a story that has a balance of of
Speaker 1: you and I doing something collectively but individually at the
Speaker 1: same time, right, So this had to be I think
Speaker 1: it was two thousand and fourteen. Two thousand and fourteen, yes,
Speaker 1: because we're planning for my thirtieth birthday. It's around that time, mother,
Speaker 1: your birthday. But during this time you had just booked
Speaker 1: was it. It wasn't Puggle Trouble you had booked Oh no,
Speaker 1: um Slick had just booked you as key here and
Speaker 1: makeup for another project he was doing before Puggle Trouble.
Speaker 1: And at the same time, I was working on Power
Speaker 1: but also turning over to m pact Plex from Aviator
Speaker 1: commercial series with him. Yes, and you was also doing
Speaker 1: um Color and Contour by k. We were doing a
Speaker 1: thousand things at one time. Yes, And it's important. It's
Speaker 1: important to discussed this because Jackson was three, so we
Speaker 1: were also balancing getting him prepared for uh preschool. And
Speaker 1: we were living in the apartment in Crown Heights. But
Speaker 1: my business at the time was in flat was close
Speaker 1: by far Rockaway and we were moving it over to Canarsi.
Speaker 1: And the reason why I'm telling this story is because
Speaker 1: Codeine was working in Bushwick and had early mornings. Okay,
Speaker 1: so this this story is hilarious. We're both exhausted because
Speaker 1: Codeine was working color and contour by K, which means
Speaker 1: she was still doing makeup artistry for weddings. I was
Speaker 1: transferring my business from one gym to another. We still
Speaker 1: had Jackson going to her parents house at night in Carnarsi,
Speaker 1: and I was still taking clients super early in the morning.
Speaker 1: I had Daniel Jane super early. I think it was
Speaker 1: five o'clock training session. I took Daniel, came back six o'clock,
Speaker 1: went to lay down. I was supposed to wait Cadine
Speaker 1: up for her going to um her cold time, and
Speaker 1: both of us knocked out. Then all I hear randomly
Speaker 1: is and then I pop us that what happened? Cone goes,
Speaker 1: I'm late you were supposed to be. Yeah, I kind
Speaker 1: of woke up with like minutes to get to say
Speaker 1: it was. It was like she was like she just
Speaker 1: knew she was going to be ridiculous. And we had
Speaker 1: Jackson sleep in the apartment and I was like, babe,
Speaker 1: you can't, like you can't get on the train. I'm
Speaker 1: going to have to just drive you. So as kid,
Speaker 1: you not. Codean wakes up, She grabs all of her makeup,
Speaker 1: everything and stuff like that. She called, who are you
Speaker 1: working Peaches At the time, it says this was, yeah,
Speaker 1: I think this was your your confusing the years. This
Speaker 1: is when we did do um Bruno. It was Bruno. Okay,
Speaker 1: so it was bunch You sure it was Bruno? Okay,
Speaker 1: So it was Bruno. So I'm confusing that we did
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff. But imagine all the stuff we
Speaker 1: have going on at the same time, and you wake
Speaker 1: up in the morning and you're supposed to be a
Speaker 1: set in fifteen minutes, and we had to go down
Speaker 1: to all into bush with So she's getting ready, getting
Speaker 1: made up, she's making phone calls. I'm grabbing all of
Speaker 1: the makeup. She's telling me, I'm yelling it out. I
Speaker 1: grabbed our three year old. I have him, I have
Speaker 1: I have the makeup. I'm running downstairs. And the funny
Speaker 1: thing about where we lived was we had alternate side
Speaker 1: of the street parking and we always had to move
Speaker 1: the car, so we had to we had to park
Speaker 1: like a block and a half away. So I run
Speaker 1: downstairs and I have the baby in the car seat
Speaker 1: and I have to go outside, and it was cold,
Speaker 1: it was cold, and I'm like, I don't want to
Speaker 1: run outside with the makeup and the baby. So I
Speaker 1: run downstairs. I'm in the four year part of our
Speaker 1: building and I call upstairs. I'm like, hey, you know
Speaker 1: what's up. I said, I can't take the baby to
Speaker 1: the car. You gotta run downstairs. She runs downstairs, watch
Speaker 1: the baby. I go run, get the car, bring the
Speaker 1: car back in front of the building. Parked the car
Speaker 1: in front of the building. Then I start moving the
Speaker 1: baby in front the car. Let it warm up. I
Speaker 1: moved the makeup. She runs back up stairs to get
Speaker 1: finished done. She runs back downstairs. We jump in the car.
Speaker 1: We're flying down Marcus Garvey Boulevard to get to UH
Speaker 1: to get down to Bushwick. We then here's the crazy part.
Speaker 1: She got to set. I think it was ten minutes
Speaker 1: later than her cold time, but was still there before
Speaker 1: everybody else. And the reason why I wanted to tell
Speaker 1: that story is because when you're a business owner, you
Speaker 1: have to know how to pivot, but you also have
Speaker 1: to rely on your partners. We were both exhausted. I
Speaker 1: had just had a client at five o'clock, came back
Speaker 1: to take a nap. I was supposed to be able
Speaker 1: to sleep during that time while she got up and
Speaker 1: got things moving. But we both woke up late and
Speaker 1: I end up having to jump up and help k
Speaker 1: get there. And the best part about that story in
Speaker 1: that day, I don't even know if you remember this,
Speaker 1: was she got done later than she was supposed to
Speaker 1: and I had another client, but I had Jackson. She
Speaker 1: had to run back from set to meet me all
Speaker 1: the way in at the apartment to reprieve me so
Speaker 1: that I could get from the apartment all the way
Speaker 1: over to aviator to take a client. That whole day
Speaker 1: was just constant running through traffic, running here to get
Speaker 1: times and beat deadlines and Codeina and I did it together,
Speaker 1: like it seemed like a blur, and even telling the
Speaker 1: story seems like a blur. But that was our day
Speaker 1: that those were our like tuesdays, like that's just what
Speaker 1: it was. And having a partner, someone you can rely
Speaker 1: on even when you don't want to do things. It's
Speaker 1: the best part of doing things with your spouse. Well,
Speaker 1: we're moving on up duty side, looks in the sky,
Speaker 1: we're moving on duty. Sad we foully got up piece
Speaker 1: of the path, bitch, don't Friday to kitchen beings. Don't
Speaker 1: burn on the grill. Took a lot to Ryan to
Speaker 1: just get up. Now we're up in the bigg done.
Speaker 1: Get my turn at best as long as wrong with that.
Speaker 1: I love it, I love it. That's one of my
Speaker 1: favorite songs. We moved down up together. That's that's part
Speaker 1: about it all. Yes, we're moving from the fourth floor
Speaker 1: apartment in the Heights to a home in Atlanta. Love it,
Speaker 1: love it, love it all. Right, let's take a quick break.
Speaker 1: We're gonna come back to storytime and dive into the show. Alright,
Speaker 1: we're back, man, that story how many That was just
Speaker 1: one story, but so many moments of us trying to
Speaker 1: build and trying to work together, trying to be entrepreneurs
Speaker 1: but also be parents and also these spouses and everything
Speaker 1: else in between. And I'm thinking back to that moment
Speaker 1: when I jumped up and I was like, damn, like
Speaker 1: I'm about to be late. And it was like day
Speaker 1: two of shooting him, like there's no way that the
Speaker 1: key makeup artists and here stylus can be late to
Speaker 1: set because you don't want to be the one responsible
Speaker 1: for anybody being late to anything. Um, But it was
Speaker 1: just perfect to be able to have my friend a
Speaker 1: k a. My business partner, my husband jump into action,
Speaker 1: because think about it, if I didn't have somebody to
Speaker 1: do that with, what would that have looked like for me?
Speaker 1: To be honest, I don't even even when I think
Speaker 1: back when some of the things we have had to
Speaker 1: do during that time, I don't know how we did it.
Speaker 1: Like I don't. People ask me all the time, like
Speaker 1: what you know, give me some tips on building a
Speaker 1: business and give me some tips. You have to be
Speaker 1: super resourceful, right, but at the same time, you have
Speaker 1: to have like this unyiel olding ability to see things
Speaker 1: before they come to fruition, like you and I used
Speaker 1: to sit down and and this is important when you
Speaker 1: have a business partner, right, you constantly have to have
Speaker 1: check ins with your business partner. And I'm not talking
Speaker 1: about your life partners, just your business partner. Because I've
Speaker 1: had multiple businesses with different people and we used to
Speaker 1: have checkens every other day, every two to three days.
Speaker 1: It's okay, where is the business? How is your mental health?
Speaker 1: Like what's going on? When your business partner is somebody
Speaker 1: that you enjoy spending time with, it's easier to cultivate
Speaker 1: a business in so many ways because that time that
Speaker 1: you normally spend with your business partners can can typically
Speaker 1: become contankerous if you don't like each other. Well, I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: liking each other I think has a lot to do
Speaker 1: with it, but also to having a common goal, right, yes, yeah,
Speaker 1: work you know, business partners. For the most part, if
Speaker 1: you're going to be entering into the business space with someone,
Speaker 1: you would like to think that they can get along,
Speaker 1: they can work well together, and they have a common interest.
Speaker 1: What's the common denominator going to be between the two
Speaker 1: of them? They want to be able to make this
Speaker 1: business lucrative. But I think what helps, particularly building a
Speaker 1: business with your spouse, is that you can both see
Speaker 1: the greater good for the entire family, for the legacy.
Speaker 1: That was something that we always you know, it was
Speaker 1: important to us to make sure that we were working
Speaker 1: to build a legacy not for just ourselves and our
Speaker 1: families to make them proud, but for our children and
Speaker 1: our future family. Um. So at the time, we definitely
Speaker 1: um kind of riley behind each other because in the
Speaker 1: areas where I knew that I lacked, you had the strength. So,
Speaker 1: for example, between the two of us. You have more
Speaker 1: of the business acumen, right, I'm more of the administrative.
Speaker 1: You know, give me the task to scape everything organized, structured,
Speaker 1: So where you tend to be a little scattered, I
Speaker 1: compliment with a lot of scattered. I tend to compliment
Speaker 1: that with the organization. So that worked out for us.
Speaker 1: So separating your work life from your home life can
Speaker 1: be a struggle, especially now with a lot of people
Speaker 1: working from home. So things have definitely taken a turn. Um.
Speaker 1: I think people are trying to find new innovative ways
Speaker 1: to start different businesses because you know, look at where
Speaker 1: we've fit for the past two years, and that separation
Speaker 1: only leaves more challenges when you work with the person
Speaker 1: you live with. But I mean working towards a shared goal,
Speaker 1: like I said, with your spouse has a lot of
Speaker 1: lasting benefits for a marriage when it's done with love, intention,
Speaker 1: and a lot of patience. So we did a podcast
Speaker 1: a while back talking about how to separate, you know, um,
Speaker 1: work from home. I don't want to talk about that today.
Speaker 1: What I do want to talk about today is how
Speaker 1: Codeine and I were able to build, Like how we're
Speaker 1: able to sit down and say, let's create a business
Speaker 1: that is going to be advantageous for both of us
Speaker 1: to live the lifestyle we want to live. And I
Speaker 1: want to talk about this because a lot of people
Speaker 1: always ask me how did you get started, especially in entrepreneurship,
Speaker 1: How did you get started? When did you know was
Speaker 1: the right time for you to take the lead from
Speaker 1: a nine to five to go on this? And when
Speaker 1: I really sat back and thought about it, I was
Speaker 1: never in a position to to working nine the five.
Speaker 1: Neither one of us ever were. From the time we
Speaker 1: were eighteen, we always talked about the life we wanted
Speaker 1: to live. And I think that's the key that I
Speaker 1: want people to understand when you meet someone and you
Speaker 1: and you talking about your aspirations for life. Right, legacy
Speaker 1: was at the forefront for both of us. You know.
Speaker 1: We we talked about what we wanted individually, and one
Speaker 1: thing Kadin and I always said was we wanted to
Speaker 1: have autonomy over our time. That was like a paramount. Yes, yes,
Speaker 1: like we we said we wanted to be able to travel.
Speaker 1: We wanted to be able to take our children places
Speaker 1: and travel, and we wanted to be able to give
Speaker 1: our children something when they become adults to say here you.
Speaker 1: You don't have to jump into the hamster wheel of
Speaker 1: life in order to see your dreams come true. Mom
Speaker 1: and Dad created this for you so you can take kit.
Speaker 1: So the first thing I will say to people is
Speaker 1: if you're you're dating someone, or you meet someone you're
Speaker 1: in love with, or you're married, there has to be
Speaker 1: a common goal that's legacy driven in order for it
Speaker 1: to work. If it's not legacy driven, the business won't
Speaker 1: work because if it's not legacy driven and you both
Speaker 1: can't gain from it, there's always gonna be that resentment
Speaker 1: for what we did this for you, you know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. So for example, and um, I had this
Speaker 1: conversation with a young lady. Then I met south By Southwest.
Speaker 1: She said she had a boy she has a boyfriend,
Speaker 1: and her and her boyfriend both have They were at
Speaker 1: the south By Southwest. I think it was tech. I
Speaker 1: think it was the tech summit. And they were both
Speaker 1: really good at tech. But they had different ideas and
Speaker 1: they both wanted to use the other to help build
Speaker 1: their idea And the reason why they struggled they couldn't
Speaker 1: agree on which idea to do, which idea to do first,
Speaker 1: Which idea was more important. So for two years they
Speaker 1: both been working on their own ideas separately. But she asked,
Speaker 1: She said, at what point did you and Codeine decide
Speaker 1: which one was going to go first, your acting career
Speaker 1: or her hosting career. And what I explained to her
Speaker 1: was we let life decide which was gonna come first.
Speaker 1: Right for us, it wasn't we have to do this
Speaker 1: for Devout first and then Codeine, or we have to
Speaker 1: do this for Cadein first and then Devout. When we
Speaker 1: graduated from college, the NFL came. So at that point,
Speaker 1: Codeine and I knowing that legacy was what we wanted
Speaker 1: to put forth in the forefront. The NFL was never
Speaker 1: my dream. Makeup was never Codeine's dream, but we knew
Speaker 1: that we had to create a revenue stream to give
Speaker 1: us autonomy over our time to face our dream. So
Speaker 1: if the NFL was going to help us get autonomy
Speaker 1: over our time, we both put all of our energy
Speaker 1: in that direction. And I wanted to ask you, how
Speaker 1: did it feel. Did you feel like your your dream
Speaker 1: was being deferred or did you feel like this is
Speaker 1: what we have to do in this moment to get
Speaker 1: to where we want to be. It's a good question. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think that, like you said, having had certain things
Speaker 1: happen in a certain time frame in order for us
Speaker 1: definitely dictated how we had to defer or how we
Speaker 1: had to divide our attention. Um. One thing that I
Speaker 1: never felt ever was any kind of oppression when it
Speaker 1: came to my goals or my dreams. I knew at
Speaker 1: some point it would have to happen. If anything, there
Speaker 1: was a conflict that I may have had internally, because
Speaker 1: like we said, we have this list of things that
Speaker 1: we should be doing by a certain time or a
Speaker 1: certain age or a certain point where it's just like, man,
Speaker 1: if I'm not actively working on this right now, then
Speaker 1: I'm I'm failing or I'm not meeting those benchmarks in
Speaker 1: this particular time frame. So if anything, I might have
Speaker 1: felt a little bit like, damn, you know, I don't
Speaker 1: want to lose my space in what could potentially be
Speaker 1: the opportunity right now. But I also understood that the
Speaker 1: field that I was getting into, those opportunitiptunities can come
Speaker 1: and go. You just have to kind of get people
Speaker 1: all start it. So how did you how did you
Speaker 1: deal with that conflict? Like, because we have never we've
Speaker 1: and guys, this is We've never had this conversation ever.
Speaker 1: We're having it for the first time, so I'm actually interested, Like,
Speaker 1: how did you deal with knowing that, okay, because you
Speaker 1: wanted to be on TV and TV is a young
Speaker 1: person's game, and it's like, well, de VAL's getting an
Speaker 1: opportunity in the NFL now, and I'm going to support
Speaker 1: him and that. How did you deal with saying, let
Speaker 1: me just wait a little bit, or did you feel
Speaker 1: like my time is gonna come, let me focus on
Speaker 1: what I can do. I was okay with with sitting
Speaker 1: back for a little bit. Um. I think I needed
Speaker 1: the break. Haven't been in school for consecutive years since
Speaker 1: I was like three years old, So I was okay
Speaker 1: with taking a little bit of a break. I did
Speaker 1: feel a little bit of a pressure from my parents, though,
Speaker 1: because my mom and dad were expecting the minute she graduates,
Speaker 1: she should be landing a job, she should be making
Speaker 1: some money, she should be doing something and not sitting
Speaker 1: around just kind of waiting for things to happen. Um.
Speaker 1: But I already knew because you and I always kind
Speaker 1: kind of had these horse blinders on whenever it comes
Speaker 1: to us and dreams what we want. So those horse
Speaker 1: blinders that I had on, I just felt like, this
Speaker 1: is where we had to focus our energy. Develop is
Speaker 1: in the position in this moment to optimize what could
Speaker 1: potentially be the beginning, the nest egg, the foundation for
Speaker 1: a lucrative life in the end or in the long run.
Speaker 1: So I was totally cool with sitting back for a
Speaker 1: little bit. UM. I felt like my time was going
Speaker 1: to come regardless once I started to invest in that. UM.
Speaker 1: But I know that's what you needed in that moment,
Speaker 1: and you were the one that was in in a
Speaker 1: in a situation that was already moving. So let me
Speaker 1: just sit back and help you sprint through that movement,
Speaker 1: you know. So this is what's what's crazy. If you
Speaker 1: have been following us for years, you know that Codein
Speaker 1: and I have discussed every part of our plan with
Speaker 1: each other before we executed it, every single part. The
Speaker 1: first date we went on UM, when she came to
Speaker 1: my room on October with the two thousand and two,
Speaker 1: I said to Codein that I wanted to be an actor,
Speaker 1: and Codeine asked me at that moment, how how you
Speaker 1: on doing that? And then Codeine and I sat down
Speaker 1: this this is the first date, the very first day,
Speaker 1: and I said, well, my plan is to graduate. Once
Speaker 1: I graduate, I won't have any debt because I'm going
Speaker 1: to school for free um IF And at the time,
Speaker 1: the NFL wasn't a guarantee. But I had said to Codeine,
Speaker 1: and I said, if I could make a practice squad,
Speaker 1: I could make a hundred thousand dollars in four months.
Speaker 1: Without a hundred thousand dollars, I could have a down
Speaker 1: payment on a brownstone or a two family home. I
Speaker 1: would want to live downstairs in the basement part of it,
Speaker 1: rant out the upstairs part. This way I didn't have
Speaker 1: to be a starving artist and then focus on my
Speaker 1: craft of of being an artist. The reason why I
Speaker 1: tell you that part of the story is because so said,
Speaker 1: so done when it came to Codeine and I when
Speaker 1: the opportunity came up. This was part of our plan
Speaker 1: that we talked about when we were eighteen. The NFL
Speaker 1: is here. Let's put all of our energy, not just
Speaker 1: devows energy, Cadine's energy and house energy into preparing for
Speaker 1: the NFL, Which means when I woke up early in
Speaker 1: the morning for training sessions, Codeine was up making breakfast
Speaker 1: when I had to drive to Paris and I was exhausted,
Speaker 1: Codeine got in the car and drove with me to Parissy.
Speaker 1: When I got injured or hurt. Codeine had invested all
Speaker 1: of our energy into making sure that this part of
Speaker 1: our dream. Even though this part of our dream wasn't
Speaker 1: for both of us, this was for me to do
Speaker 1: this part. We both were invested in it. And the
Speaker 1: reason why I tell our stories because there's so many
Speaker 1: times in business where your partner maybe the lead and
Speaker 1: you have to be the person that aids and support
Speaker 1: of that part of the business. And an issue that
Speaker 1: a lot of people have with having a business partner
Speaker 1: is everybody wants to be the lead all the time.
Speaker 1: And I know firsthand that sometimes you're not going to
Speaker 1: be the lead. Right case in point, when things flipped
Speaker 1: when I was just building my business with Elite Prototype
Speaker 1: Athletics and trying to build my business with my brother,
Speaker 1: and I didn't have any money coming in, Codeine was
Speaker 1: in a position to be the lead. She was going
Speaker 1: to interview for her job at matt. I woke Codeine up,
Speaker 1: we got her prepared, I drove her to her interview.
Speaker 1: I sat outside and waited for her. She came right
Speaker 1: out and said, I got the job. But at that point,
Speaker 1: it was time for me to take a step back,
Speaker 1: right Codeine was going to work every day and I
Speaker 1: was at home with Jackson, being a stay at home dad.
Speaker 1: And when you talk about knowing that you had to
Speaker 1: defer your dream in a moment, because it was my
Speaker 1: moment to be in the forefront those moments, I remember
Speaker 1: sitting home and and if I'm being honest, it was
Speaker 1: it was tough for me because I always number one
Speaker 1: dealing with being a man. I felt like, man, I
Speaker 1: should be doing more to help my wife, Like my
Speaker 1: wife is outside working and I'm at home watching our son.
Speaker 1: Like it just didn't. It felt like I was wrong,
Speaker 1: you know. But I had to put my pride a
Speaker 1: side and understand that we needed health insurance and Cadine
Speaker 1: was the only way for us to get health insurance
Speaker 1: with the child. So I had to be present in
Speaker 1: that moment to just be home with Jackson. You know.
Speaker 1: I think the flip flop that tends to happen with
Speaker 1: business and spouses is necessary. I also think that it's
Speaker 1: helpful because there's list of the opportunity for resentment. I
Speaker 1: feel like to kind of move in or for you
Speaker 1: for one person to feel like they're doing more than
Speaker 1: the other, or because that tends to be issue in
Speaker 1: business all a lot, you know, one person feeling like
Speaker 1: the other person is not pulling their weight or doing
Speaker 1: their fair share, or what person feels overworked or underappreciated
Speaker 1: or things like that. So I feel like having that
Speaker 1: flip flop in our history definitely put both of us
Speaker 1: in different shoes at each time. So we felt what
Speaker 1: it was like to be at home and kind of
Speaker 1: feel a little helpless, and then we also felt what
Speaker 1: it felt like to be empowered and say I got this,
Speaker 1: I had this for the and then we had the
Speaker 1: support role we played which was also very important, and
Speaker 1: Jackson got time with his parents in different capacities and stuff,
Speaker 1: um which I know I always used to feel guilty
Speaker 1: about because I felt like, damn, like I'm missing out
Speaker 1: all this time with my son. And the way Develo
Speaker 1: would put things in perspective for us, um and even
Speaker 1: now to this day, is that you know there's years
Speaker 1: that when the kids are younger, they're not necessarily remember
Speaker 1: that's not being around and the grind and that sacrifice
Speaker 1: but it will count to the years later when they're
Speaker 1: older and we have the autonomy over our time. So
Speaker 1: now that we're we can go to games and we
Speaker 1: can pick up from and stuff. So that was also
Speaker 1: a great benefit that we had from just you know,
Speaker 1: tag teaming and building along the way. And I'm glad
Speaker 1: that you you brought up those years of grinding because
Speaker 1: that's going to lead me into the next part of
Speaker 1: having a spouse. Right when you're building a business, there
Speaker 1: are gonna be years. I think the average business doesn't
Speaker 1: start to get into the black or make money until
Speaker 1: year three, which means and and listen to me, entrepreneurs, right,
Speaker 1: there is nothing wrong with having a nine to five
Speaker 1: or a steady job, because that nine to five and
Speaker 1: steady job is what funded our business in the beginning.
Speaker 1: I can't say that enough. So much, so many people
Speaker 1: talk down about having a nine to five. There is
Speaker 1: nobody in this world unless you came from a wealthy
Speaker 1: family that started a business without having a job. First.
Speaker 1: You get what I'm saying, because in order to start
Speaker 1: a business, you need capital. In order to make capital,
Speaker 1: you have to work. And that's one of our Elis models.
Speaker 1: The boys. If you ask them right now, why do
Speaker 1: you go to work? They say, to build capital? Why
Speaker 1: do you need capital to make your money work for you?
Speaker 1: When you have a spouse or a partner, that's when
Speaker 1: you're building a business. We see what the dream is.
Speaker 1: We see what the dream is. Right, we're in alignment. Okay,
Speaker 1: So if you have to go to work to help
Speaker 1: with the alignment and I have to go to work
Speaker 1: to help with the alliwe I meant we're doing this together.
Speaker 1: And the best part about having a spouse is those
Speaker 1: days where your spouse is sitting on the edge of
Speaker 1: the bed like the fox standing out staring out the
Speaker 1: window with the eyes bloodshot, having someone to rub your
Speaker 1: back and say come on, baby, come on baby, like
Speaker 1: like we we know why we're doing this, we know
Speaker 1: exactly what it is, and feeling like you're not alone.
Speaker 1: One thing I'll say about having a great spouse is
Speaker 1: I never step into anything, whether it being audition, a
Speaker 1: new business practice, a new thought, a new idea, um
Speaker 1: going even going to my kids school. I never feel
Speaker 1: alone because I got someone with me. So because I
Speaker 1: got someone with me at all time, I never feel
Speaker 1: like I can fail. You know what I'm saying, I
Speaker 1: think it's that much easier for sure. Absolutely, absolutely. A
Speaker 1: lot of times there's risks that I want to take,
Speaker 1: and I have a bad habit personally of talking myself
Speaker 1: out of things and self sabotage and saying, you know,
Speaker 1: it's not really a big deal. I don't I'm not
Speaker 1: going to do that anymore. It's not really gonna work out.
Speaker 1: And just being able to run it by someone who
Speaker 1: I know UM would be just invested as I would
Speaker 1: be in that particular process or whatever it may be,
Speaker 1: UM makes it just that much easier. And he's also
Speaker 1: the one that will give me the kick in the
Speaker 1: ass because you know, our work ethic and our drive
Speaker 1: and our discipline is different. That can be frustrating in
Speaker 1: itself when it comes to a business, which we've spoken
Speaker 1: about before, but UM, I mean having you to do
Speaker 1: it with his great I wonder how many husband and
Speaker 1: wife owned businesses there are there. I think the stats
Speaker 1: got the stats, because that's interesting to know how many
Speaker 1: are are building businesses together. According to the National Federation
Speaker 1: of Independent Business, they're approximately one point two million husband
Speaker 1: and wife owned small businesses nationwide back in two thousand three,
Speaker 1: and after that probably has grown since definitely. Recent studies
Speaker 1: oh that the work related support from spouses contributes to
Speaker 1: work family balance and is linked to higher family statisfaction
Speaker 1: and satisfaction. However, these benefits are twice as great for
Speaker 1: couples who share the same occupation or workplace than for
Speaker 1: those who do not, and findings also suggests that couples,
Speaker 1: including those not in the same work or the same
Speaker 1: occupation or workplace, can help foster stronger work life balance
Speaker 1: by providing work life work related support. Learning about a
Speaker 1: spouse's industry or job role, particularly if it's unfamiliar in
Speaker 1: trying to socialize with each other's colleagues outside of the office,
Speaker 1: can make it easier for couples to share their days.
Speaker 1: All right, So let's talk about this. I am going
Speaker 1: to let people into a little secret, right of the
Speaker 1: power of women. M HM, Codeine and I go places together. Right,
Speaker 1: I walk in Codeine walks in Codein works the room
Speaker 1: like nobody else. You want to know why women are
Speaker 1: a lot more receptive to other women? Right? How many
Speaker 1: friends have you made? And then afterwards you'll be like yo,
Speaker 1: her husband does X, Y Z. And then before we
Speaker 1: knew it, we're on a full marriage play date and
Speaker 1: I'm meeting her the husband and now we're starting a
Speaker 1: business together. Now I got a blind date with Who's
Speaker 1: Who's this dude? Corny? That's always the question. I'm like, Yo,
Speaker 1: whoever does I'm introduced? If they corny? I'm not trying
Speaker 1: to do this. But you work rooms, and because in
Speaker 1: spaces where this opportunity for networking, you just never know
Speaker 1: who knows who, and then it becomes a point when
Speaker 1: you need people to know who you are because there
Speaker 1: are opportunities that can arise where he's like, yo, I
Speaker 1: met a guy, I met, I met this lady and
Speaker 1: she might be the ones to be able to help
Speaker 1: with whatever it may be. So yeah, that's usually how
Speaker 1: it happens, because you know so, I like to say
Speaker 1: the valid social butterfly. I'm good and I like people
Speaker 1: and I want to talk and make friends. Listen, I
Speaker 1: I I am a social butterfly, and I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: sit here and say that I wouldn't be successful on
Speaker 1: my own. You the same way would be successful on
Speaker 1: your own. But when you have a partner, like I
Speaker 1: don't think people understand how difficult it is to start
Speaker 1: a business on your own. Like, it is extremely rare
Speaker 1: to watch someone by themselves start a business. You either
Speaker 1: need a partner for capital, you need a partner for
Speaker 1: business acumen, you need a partner for just support. So
Speaker 1: when you have a wife or a husband who shares
Speaker 1: in the same values of business, things just happen at
Speaker 1: a lot quicker pace. But I have to continue to
Speaker 1: put emphasis gentlemen when you when you go with places,
Speaker 1: you know how they have these in movies. There's always like,
Speaker 1: you know, when you know you got to come with
Speaker 1: me to this event? You know why it's you know
Speaker 1: there's going to be other spouses there. The reason why
Speaker 1: they bring their spouses are to forge those relationships outside
Speaker 1: of the workplace, because people typically tend to work with
Speaker 1: people that they like. And I can't emphasize this enough.
Speaker 1: That's either where it starts. Absolutely trust anybody. Do I
Speaker 1: even like you enough to want to converse with you
Speaker 1: on a fairly regular basis. So if you want to
Speaker 1: write something down, write this down. Though. If you're looking
Speaker 1: to build a business, the first thing you have to
Speaker 1: build our relationships within the industry that you are trying
Speaker 1: to build. Debate the business because you you don't understand
Speaker 1: the ebbs and flows, the peaks and the valleys of
Speaker 1: this business. And unless you're willing to learn about the
Speaker 1: business from people who have already been successful, you won't
Speaker 1: be successful in the business. And sometimes your personality, regardless
Speaker 1: if you're an introvert or extrovert, may not fit with
Speaker 1: the other person's personality. But if you have a spouse
Speaker 1: who is different than you, some one of you are
Speaker 1: going to know how to before affords that relationship and
Speaker 1: create a bond that can help you build a business.
Speaker 1: It's great. There's there's not that level of having to
Speaker 1: penetrate and learn anybody. It's like, okay, don't give the
Speaker 1: value business cards. Give it to me because by the
Speaker 1: end of the night, little things like that, it's just like,
Speaker 1: oh um, you want this done like right now. Don't
Speaker 1: ask it because she's gonna find something else to do
Speaker 1: before she gets it done. So give it to the
Speaker 1: value you know. It's just it's just way where smoother
Speaker 1: when we can just know ahead of time who will
Speaker 1: be better equipped in what moment to do what. So
Speaker 1: I get that, and I had I had an older
Speaker 1: gentleman tell me a little tidbit. Remember when I was
Speaker 1: working at pact Plex and then went into partial ownership
Speaker 1: with the gym in the court. I met a lot
Speaker 1: of successful businessmen during that time, and one thing they
Speaker 1: told me was, you know, they tend to only want
Speaker 1: to do business with someone who's married. And I was like, wow,
Speaker 1: that's like, why, why would that have to be a prerequisite.
Speaker 1: And they said to me, play the simple people who
Speaker 1: are married and continue to be married, show that they
Speaker 1: can communicate through adversity, show longevity, show mental fortitude, and
Speaker 1: show discipline. And I was like, and then he said,
Speaker 1: it's older, older, white gentleman. He said, a business is
Speaker 1: no different than the marriage. They're gonna be ebbs of
Speaker 1: ebbs and flows. They're gonna be times where there's miscommunications.
Speaker 1: You can tell when someone knows how to communicate when
Speaker 1: them and there, when them, them and their spouse come
Speaker 1: to an event and we don't know what happened in
Speaker 1: the house prior to, but that there is a unified front.
Speaker 1: That's someone who I would want to do business with
Speaker 1: because I know, when it's all said and done, they're
Speaker 1: going to protect the interests of the business as opposed
Speaker 1: to trying to protect their own personal interests. And I
Speaker 1: never thought about that. But listening to older wealthy people talk,
Speaker 1: it's very simple. They like, listen, nothing is to be
Speaker 1: perfect in business, nothing is going to be perfect in
Speaker 1: the marriage. But when you can put forth a unified
Speaker 1: front and do what's good for the collective good of
Speaker 1: the entire business the same way you do it for
Speaker 1: your family, that's someone I want to work with. And
Speaker 1: I'm just like, wow, So marriage is really a practice
Speaker 1: for being a good business partner. Because how many times
Speaker 1: have we said that marriage marriage is a business. Lots
Speaker 1: of similarities there, and I want people to under like
Speaker 1: to understand when we because this podcast, I want people
Speaker 1: to have a takeaway because there's so many married couples
Speaker 1: who say, I love my husband, I love my wife,
Speaker 1: but we just don't have time with the kids, and
Speaker 1: we don't have time because we both work and no,
Speaker 1: no, no no, no no, And I say, and they always
Speaker 1: say to me, we're thinking about starting a business so
Speaker 1: that we can have more time. But then they can't
Speaker 1: find a business to start, or they don't know even
Speaker 1: know how to start looking or how to start a
Speaker 1: business with each other. I would say, you have to
Speaker 1: think legacy first. You have to think about what is
Speaker 1: going to require what what business has a low barrier
Speaker 1: of entry? And a low barrier barrier of entry right
Speaker 1: means that you know, how much is it gonna cost
Speaker 1: for me to get into this business? How difficult is
Speaker 1: it going to get for me to penetrate this market.
Speaker 1: So when you look at the barrier of entry, it's
Speaker 1: like m say, for example, I want to get into marijuana.
Speaker 1: There that's a high barrier of entry because you have
Speaker 1: to have at least seven figures to UM get a license.
Speaker 1: You have to have someone with political capital, and then
Speaker 1: you also have to have someone with I think it's
Speaker 1: social social equity, so you have to have someone that's
Speaker 1: related to you, has to have already done time in
Speaker 1: the federal penitentiary for UM a marijuana based crime. Because
Speaker 1: what they're doing first is they're giving those people an
Speaker 1: opportunity to reap the benefits from marijuana now that it's legal,
Speaker 1: after having done time. So that and I just use
Speaker 1: it as an example of all of the barriers that
Speaker 1: may stop you from getting into an industry if you
Speaker 1: don't know. So you can't just wake up and just say, oh,
Speaker 1: I want to just get into the marijuana business. You
Speaker 1: have to research. See where there's a deficit. I feel
Speaker 1: like by now we should have been able to get
Speaker 1: into something with the baby relations and baby products because
Speaker 1: we have so many damn kids. I'm like, ship, we
Speaker 1: should have started some business inventors when I go with
Speaker 1: every sorry this is so totally sidebar, but with every
Speaker 1: damn baby that we have, there's something new out there.
Speaker 1: De Vo's new favorite is which product? Which one? What's
Speaker 1: your favorite product with the CODA that we didn't have
Speaker 1: with other Oh the nasal spray. Well, that's my favorite
Speaker 1: car seat. Oh that car seat is fired because it's
Speaker 1: just a car seat that when you pull it out,
Speaker 1: you hit a button and the wheels fly out and
Speaker 1: it's a strolling so I never have to transfer from
Speaker 1: the car seat to the stroller and then the folds
Speaker 1: up and put it in the trunk. I don't gotta
Speaker 1: do that anymore. There's no base bumble and bumble with
Speaker 1: a double. But you know what's funny, that's that's a
Speaker 1: great segue. If you, as a married couple, look at
Speaker 1: your life right and you say to yourself, what could
Speaker 1: make my life better? That's a business you might want
Speaker 1: to look into getting into. See because you know, it's
Speaker 1: something that it's something that you know you need, which
Speaker 1: means if something you need, there's a great chance that
Speaker 1: a lot of people needed And if you haven't found
Speaker 1: anything in the market that can help you with it,
Speaker 1: maybe that should be a business you can create. And
Speaker 1: in order to be it's important for people to know
Speaker 1: it's in order to be a successful business, you have
Speaker 1: to create a product or a service that's in high demand. Right,
Speaker 1: write this down right. It doesn't matter if you're doing
Speaker 1: a business by yourself or with your spouse, but if
Speaker 1: you're creating a business, it has to be in high demand.
Speaker 1: And I don't mean high demand amongst you and your friends,
Speaker 1: I mean high demand amongst the world out there at
Speaker 1: some point to see who exactly would be interested? Yes,
Speaker 1: just be out here creating ship and then starting business
Speaker 1: is all really knew, who's gonna want that? Anyway? Who's
Speaker 1: going and people people do that. People just say I'm
Speaker 1: gonna start this business, and it's like, why I'm gonna
Speaker 1: make a sport business? Why are you making a sport business?
Speaker 1: I like sports, and I don't see a lot of sports.
Speaker 1: You know, I don't see a lot of sports because
Speaker 1: you don't only need in the world. I like sports.
Speaker 1: Nobody else eats with sports after six years old. Okay,
Speaker 1: do not start a sports actually really cool. They're the
Speaker 1: best for fruit cups because you can kind of stick it,
Speaker 1: you know what. I think about sports, But I think
Speaker 1: about the sports fights we used to have in the
Speaker 1: cafeteria where you bend the tip of the sports cause
Speaker 1: and then you snap it and you try to break
Speaker 1: the other person's sports all that was a big deal
Speaker 1: for about four You create this in the strong sports.
Speaker 1: But we're getting off topic here, but I think it's
Speaker 1: important for people to realize that starting a business with
Speaker 1: your spouse is imperative if you want to build a
Speaker 1: legacy for your family, because you're you're if you just work.
Speaker 1: This is the truth. The American dream is not about
Speaker 1: working until you're sixty five and retiring. The American dream
Speaker 1: has always been about ownership. Right. So the only way
Speaker 1: you can really pass something down to your children so
Speaker 1: that they don't get stuck in the same cycle that
Speaker 1: you live in is if you own your business. Right.
Speaker 1: There's a difference between owning a business and just being
Speaker 1: a quote unquote an entrepreneur. Right, Like, for example, Codeine
Speaker 1: worked at mac and she was makeup artist. And you're
Speaker 1: a makeup artist, a freelance makeup artist. You're an entrepreneur.
Speaker 1: But if you didn't own Color and Contour by K
Speaker 1: and create your own program and create your own products,
Speaker 1: you wouldn't have owned that business. The business would have
Speaker 1: died when you died. Same thing with Prototype. Right. I
Speaker 1: created Prototype and I was training. I was an entrepreneur,
Speaker 1: but I didn't have access to my own time because
Speaker 1: I had to train people on their time, which means
Speaker 1: ultimately I didn't have an employee, but I had clients.
Speaker 1: I can't pass that business down to my kids if
Speaker 1: I don't create a business around training. See a business
Speaker 1: structure building, And this is where I want to, you know,
Speaker 1: take us to the next part before we start to
Speaker 1: wrap up. But owning and creating a business with your
Speaker 1: partner is not just creating something where you just make
Speaker 1: your own money. It's creating something that's transferable between the
Speaker 1: two and then your kids if something were to happen
Speaker 1: to you. And you have to understand how important that is,
Speaker 1: because I could be a great trainer and I could
Speaker 1: make seven figures training people, and it's my own business. Right,
Speaker 1: But if I'm building a business with my partner, and
Speaker 1: my partner doesn't train people, and I don't duplicate myself,
Speaker 1: and I don't have other trainers to train. If I
Speaker 1: don't get a ant mortar spot and create a gym
Speaker 1: or something, if I die, the business dies with me.
Speaker 1: And I think it's important for people to understand that
Speaker 1: what businesses is that if you really want to be
Speaker 1: a business person, you have to own it. You have
Speaker 1: to own the licensing, you have to own the building,
Speaker 1: you have to own the programs, and it has to
Speaker 1: be transferable between you and your partner and then your children.
Speaker 1: That is a part of business that people don't understand
Speaker 1: because I do have a lot of a lot of men,
Speaker 1: but your own my own business. Men. I'm an entrepreneur,
Speaker 1: I'm a trainer, I have my own time. And I
Speaker 1: said that do you really own your business? Hm? And
Speaker 1: they say, well, what do you mean? I said, well,
Speaker 1: you're bragging about not having an employee because you train
Speaker 1: in the park. But if you're clients has to meet
Speaker 1: at a different time, you're you're stuck, right, you have
Speaker 1: to do something. If it rains outside, where are you
Speaker 1: gonna train? And then they're just like, I didn't think
Speaker 1: about that. I said, do you so, do you really
Speaker 1: own your business? Do you really own your time? And
Speaker 1: owning your business? And one in your time is also
Speaker 1: about the the the time value of money. And I
Speaker 1: have to uh, I have to attribute this to my
Speaker 1: one of my best friends, blow Right Balau, worked at
Speaker 1: black Rock for years, which is the number one financial
Speaker 1: firm in the world, and he makes a lot of money.
Speaker 1: And he was just like development, I'm you know, I
Speaker 1: got to do something else. And I was like, I
Speaker 1: was like, broa you make And this was before anything
Speaker 1: ever took off for us. And I was like, you
Speaker 1: make over half a million dollars a year. What are
Speaker 1: you talking about? And he said, but you know how
Speaker 1: much time I put into this work. I don't go
Speaker 1: to sleep until late and I have to wake up early.
Speaker 1: So what's the time value? Like, what's what's the time value?
Speaker 1: And I was like, what do you mean? He says,
Speaker 1: I may make a lot of money, but if it
Speaker 1: takes me a lot of hours to make a lot
Speaker 1: of money, it is it? Thank you? Is it worth it?
Speaker 1: So he was like, what you have to do is
Speaker 1: figure out how many hours you want to work in
Speaker 1: a day. And this is going to bring us to
Speaker 1: working with your partner. When you figure out how many
Speaker 1: hours you want to work in the day, how much
Speaker 1: money do you want to make during those hours? So
Speaker 1: what is the value of the hour you want to
Speaker 1: put in the day? Is the value of the hour
Speaker 1: you want to put in the day fifty an hour,
Speaker 1: which may be good for some people, or is it
Speaker 1: five hundred dollars an hour? Because the more value you
Speaker 1: put on each hour and the more money you can
Speaker 1: make during that amount of time, the more money you
Speaker 1: can make in less amount of time, ultimately giving you
Speaker 1: autonomy over the time you don't want to work. And
Speaker 1: that's when they started to hit me when it came
Speaker 1: to training. And I'm gonna tell you how Codeine and
Speaker 1: I apply this very principle to our businesses. I think
Speaker 1: we were applying it not knowing that we were applying
Speaker 1: it at this time, Right is now that I think about,
Speaker 1: I'm like, wait, this was after we had this. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna tell you how you applied it and didn't even
Speaker 1: realize it. Codeine was doing makeup and I'm gonna give
Speaker 1: you round numbers. Right, she was doing makeup, she was
Speaker 1: doing brides and bridemaids, bridesmaids, and she was just like, Okay,
Speaker 1: it may take me an hour to do a bride.
Speaker 1: It may take me already minutes to do a bride's maid.
Speaker 1: What I can do is I can charge the bride'smaids
Speaker 1: a certain amount fifty dollars per face, and I can
Speaker 1: charge the bride a hundred dollar. I'm using point. You know,
Speaker 1: don't make artist to charge. Yeah, don't don't, but I'm
Speaker 1: just doing it for them to understand. So you have
Speaker 1: ten bridesmaids at fifty five hundred dollars and then you
Speaker 1: have your bride us a hundred dollars. That's an extra
Speaker 1: hundred dollars. That's six hundred dollars you made, right. So
Speaker 1: now it may take you five to seven hours to
Speaker 1: do all of that and you can't do another wedding
Speaker 1: in that day. Or you can teach your sister Sakari
Speaker 1: how to do makeup, and she took the bride'smaids using
Speaker 1: your program and your style so that they got the
Speaker 1: same person doing their face, duplicating yourself, duplicating yourself. And
Speaker 1: then you paid Sakari her portion for that hour so
Speaker 1: that you can get it done faster and then take
Speaker 1: another wedding. This way, you duplicated the amount of money
Speaker 1: you can make in one day, which means you made
Speaker 1: more money in that hour by duplicating yourself and did
Speaker 1: less work. And that's how you build a business because
Speaker 1: now the business is not dedicated or predicated on just
Speaker 1: your talent. It's on your mind. The real talent is
Speaker 1: in your mind. And if you can teach people how
Speaker 1: to do what you do and learn to relinquish that
Speaker 1: power to them, you can duplicate the business. Yeah, because
Speaker 1: a lot of times it doesn't see you think that
Speaker 1: it's a money grab, Like let me see how many
Speaker 1: you know things I could do in a certain amount
Speaker 1: of time where it's a day I'm gonna run here,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna run the inn, and you run yourself ragged.
Speaker 1: Not putting together a business structure or a model can
Speaker 1: help you to be more efficient, have more time. It
Speaker 1: may cost you a little bit to investment. Yeah, that's
Speaker 1: the investment which you're paying out, but in the return
Speaker 1: is larger because you can take on more. And it's
Speaker 1: important that you if you have a business partner right,
Speaker 1: Codeine was able to invest in her sister and the
Speaker 1: first couple weddings probably didn't make as much money as
Speaker 1: she would have and she's done it by so. But
Speaker 1: when you have a business partner who has another stream
Speaker 1: of revenue coming in, you're not so focused on the
Speaker 1: money grab You're letting the business build. Because the greatest
Speaker 1: asset to a business is not marketing that you put
Speaker 1: on the internet or commercials. It's word of mouth. It
Speaker 1: is the great experience that people have to each and
Speaker 1: every time. You have to provide a service that people
Speaker 1: are willing to talk about and share with other people.
Speaker 1: And if you do that, your business is going to grow.
Speaker 1: But it's difficult to do that if you're trying to
Speaker 1: do the business by yourself, because now you have to
Speaker 1: worry about every single dollar. One thing I will say
Speaker 1: about business is the more time you put into building
Speaker 1: the business is better than the energy you put into
Speaker 1: making money. It's the more time you put into building
Speaker 1: the business is more important than the energy you put
Speaker 1: into just making the money. When you have a partner
Speaker 1: who's also making money and can provide on the back
Speaker 1: end while you build a business, it allows the business
Speaker 1: to grow. Coadine was working at MAC and had all
Speaker 1: of the finances covered if we needed her to cover them.
Speaker 1: While I was building Prototype. The first year and a
Speaker 1: half of Prototype, I made no money, but I invested
Speaker 1: tens of thousands dollars and buying laptops from my brother
Speaker 1: and I to be able to get everything together, building
Speaker 1: the program, taking clients for free, so that I at
Speaker 1: least have a baseline to show people this is what
Speaker 1: my work is. And I wouldn't have been able to
Speaker 1: do that if I didn't have a partner who was
Speaker 1: bringing in revenue on the other side. So I had
Speaker 1: the comfort to take a chance on that absolutely tagging
Speaker 1: each other in. And I think that it's important for
Speaker 1: people to know that when you have a spouse and
Speaker 1: you can put these these little bits and pieces together
Speaker 1: and continue to work and and bounce ideas off, but
Speaker 1: most importantly encourage each other. That's how you get a
Speaker 1: business to grow. But make no but, but make sure
Speaker 1: if you're ever building a business, especially with a spouse,
Speaker 1: make sure that the business is transferable so that if
Speaker 1: something happens to you or your spouse, the business can
Speaker 1: continue to go on. You know, we just talked about
Speaker 1: Dr Grossman, our dentist just recently passed away. Rest in peace,
Speaker 1: Dr Grossman. But he created a great business model to
Speaker 1: where his brother was able to step in and the
Speaker 1: business is able to thrive still under his brother because
Speaker 1: he didn't make the business about about him exactly. Love
Speaker 1: that tips for success real quick before we get into
Speaker 1: these listener letters. When it comes to working or building
Speaker 1: a business with your SMU, not just working but building
Speaker 1: a business um, money is a large reason a lot
Speaker 1: of people divorce, y'all, So having an emergency fund in
Speaker 1: places necessary if cash flow tends to be one of
Speaker 1: the number one challenges for new businesses, right. I agree
Speaker 1: with that, And don't be afraid to invest in your
Speaker 1: partner if you believe in their dream and idea. I've
Speaker 1: invested in Codein. Codina has invested in me. And investment
Speaker 1: doesn't always mean money. You can invest time into a
Speaker 1: business to help. Investing time means when I'm going to
Speaker 1: do it administ If I'm going to do a program
Speaker 1: and Codeine sits there and does all the administrative work
Speaker 1: from the parents while I'm doing tours. She didn't give
Speaker 1: me any money, but she invested time and she did
Speaker 1: it for free, so I didn't have to pay her
Speaker 1: as an employee. Keeping it in that so there are
Speaker 1: ways to help invest in your partner's business without giving
Speaker 1: money given exactly. Also, be clear about your strengths and weaknesses.
Speaker 1: Always be very clear about your strengths and weaknesses and
Speaker 1: how you'll manage them Between the two of you. The
Speaker 1: temptation is to struggle, is to juggle as many hats
Speaker 1: as possible in the beginning. But if you both believe
Speaker 1: that there are roles that you can't handle, you need
Speaker 1: to seek help, which I like to always defer if
Speaker 1: I have to, because the last thing you both want
Speaker 1: to do is be burnt out, especially in the start
Speaker 1: up stage. This is something I will say that I've
Speaker 1: learned extremely early in starting my business is right relinquished
Speaker 1: power to those who are better than you at doing
Speaker 1: what you don't want to do or know how to,
Speaker 1: because you know how I am a control free When
Speaker 1: I first started, I'll do administration, I'll create the pamphlet,
Speaker 1: I'll create the programs, I'll train the kids. And then
Speaker 1: after about thirty days I was burnt out. Cadeen was
Speaker 1: just like, dude, you're not gonna be able to continue
Speaker 1: like this, And having a partner pointing out to me
Speaker 1: and say the vow you're terrible at administrative work, why
Speaker 1: are you standing up there trying to collect names and
Speaker 1: addresses from people? Let somebody else do that? And you
Speaker 1: need a different perspective to tell you sometimes that you're
Speaker 1: not good at this, so you don't be afraid to
Speaker 1: relinquish power to those who are better at You're doing
Speaker 1: things that can help make your business grow, for sure.
Speaker 1: And if you're not good at something, please also know
Speaker 1: to observe and compliment each other very three because appreciation
Speaker 1: goes a long way with your spouse. Okay, it's an
Speaker 1: excellent way to just show that you care, you observe,
Speaker 1: you see. Um. It's a great strengthen your working relationship
Speaker 1: and allow you both to shine individually within the business union,
Speaker 1: especially once your team starts to expand do you want
Speaker 1: to explain your team yet? But remember that the root
Speaker 1: of it is you, guys. So I have to say this.
Speaker 1: That is important because spouses typically just say, well, that's
Speaker 1: my wife, she's supposed to be doing that. The wives
Speaker 1: never get to thank you, or the husbands who want
Speaker 1: to backend working on things never get to thank you.
Speaker 1: You know, the spouse typically thanks everyone else who is
Speaker 1: not in their relationship because they feel like they don't
Speaker 1: have to because they understood thing right. But no, your
Speaker 1: spouse don't have to either, So make sure that you
Speaker 1: complement your spouse and let them know that they're appreciated
Speaker 1: for the work that they're putting in. No one has
Speaker 1: to or it has to feel obligated to do these things,
Speaker 1: so always let your spouse know they appreciate it. Ye.
Speaker 1: Make sure you both agree on the vision and the
Speaker 1: bigger picture being on the same page before even launching
Speaker 1: and diving in together. Make sure you both agree that
Speaker 1: this is something you guys want. List to your successful
Speaker 1: business list. What's your successful business affords the both of
Speaker 1: you in the long term. Communicate legacy yep. Communicate if
Speaker 1: you ever start to see things differently, to ensure that
Speaker 1: the business stays on track to achieving whatever the end
Speaker 1: gold is. And we talked about all that. Next, work
Speaker 1: life balance, making sure that the work life balance is
Speaker 1: a priority so you both can always walk into work
Speaker 1: with great synergy and walk out of work with great synergy.
Speaker 1: Because we hadn't had a lot of those moments where
Speaker 1: business has taken over and I had to say, Okay,
Speaker 1: I need to devout my business partner to clock out,
Speaker 1: and I need my husband to clock and leave it
Speaker 1: at this doorstep here because we're not talking about it
Speaker 1: no more for the rest of the night. We talked
Speaker 1: about this before. I'm just gonna say it again. There
Speaker 1: are gonna be times in your business and your marriage
Speaker 1: where you're not going to agree, understand and learn what
Speaker 1: your partner's processes, and respect that you chose someone that's
Speaker 1: going to be able to deliver through their own process.
Speaker 1: If you're trying to micromanage them to do things through
Speaker 1: your process, you're going to do yourself and your partner
Speaker 1: a disservice. If you love them for their process, let
Speaker 1: them use their process to help you. For sure, celebrate
Speaker 1: all of your goals and successes together and be sure
Speaker 1: to try to keep the mood light and humorous. You know,
Speaker 1: if you're building a business with your best friend, yes,
Speaker 1: you know, doing it in the processes and this is
Speaker 1: this is something I say that we do not just
Speaker 1: with us, because now building our business has become something
Speaker 1: we do with all of our friends. Yeah, it's just
Speaker 1: a podcast, flies in Josh, Matt, Dave, They're all here
Speaker 1: and we try to make sure everything is light because
Speaker 1: you don't want people to come to work and feel heavy.
Speaker 1: You know, you don't want them to come to work
Speaker 1: and oh god, I gotta deal with this motherfucker. You
Speaker 1: want them to enjoy it, you know. And and people
Speaker 1: work harder for you when they know that you're working
Speaker 1: with them for the greater good of not just themselves
Speaker 1: in the business, but for everyone. So if you have
Speaker 1: a partner or partners who have their own individual goals,
Speaker 1: make sure that you also empower them through their own
Speaker 1: goals while helping you get to yours. Don't diminish the
Speaker 1: people who are working with you goals to make your
Speaker 1: goal more important so that you can get the most
Speaker 1: out of them. That's one thing I also learned when
Speaker 1: I was working UH at another location. I'm not going
Speaker 1: to say, but when I first started, the owner like
Speaker 1: to diminish everyone else's dreams to make them feel as
Speaker 1: if they needed to be at his location to have
Speaker 1: a sense of purpose or to be successful. And what
Speaker 1: a lot of people did. Will start to come to
Speaker 1: work and grow resentment because they're like, man, you're right,
Speaker 1: you're you know, I do need you. You're making all
Speaker 1: this money, but I don't I don't want to have
Speaker 1: to always need you. And I was just like, damn,
Speaker 1: why would he make people feel that way? And people
Speaker 1: do that to their spouse. To know what I'm saying,
Speaker 1: you need me, you want to live this life, you
Speaker 1: need to do what I say. You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: It's like, Yo, why would you make your spouse feel
Speaker 1: that way and then expect them to come help you
Speaker 1: build a dream that you claim is for the both
Speaker 1: of you? But constantly remind them like you need this.
Speaker 1: You know you can't. It doesn't work. You know, it's
Speaker 1: okay to hold them accountable at times if you feel
Speaker 1: like they're slacking, but don't just downplay people's importance to
Speaker 1: make yourself feel bigger or make them feel like they
Speaker 1: need to be there next. That is back, They don't
Speaker 1: absolutely because business is something that is definitely optional. It
Speaker 1: doesn't have to be a thing, doesn't have to be
Speaker 1: a thing. But what's not optional it is me getting
Speaker 1: into them listening letters because you know, I will never
Speaker 1: leave y'all out. I'll never leave y'all behind. So let's
Speaker 1: take a quick break. I'm gonna go clear my throat.
Speaker 1: These allergies are killing me and be back and getting
Speaker 1: into the listening letters. Stick around, let's get into these
Speaker 1: listening letters. Sure, I'll get in. I feel like my
Speaker 1: voice is very moody today, isn't it Okay? Hey, getting
Speaker 1: into val. I haven't following you both ever since seeing
Speaker 1: you on Black Love. Yeah, it's been a minute ago
Speaker 1: now after years ago with Black Love. Now it was
Speaker 1: before in six months and we might have and seventeen
Speaker 1: five years as a matter of fact, yes, wow, because
Speaker 1: you weren't. We filmed it so that I don't think
Speaker 1: I know I was pregnant either, just I didn't know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think we found out right after. Or he might
Speaker 1: have been because Christening was in April. No, it was
Speaker 1: over this summer and I was like, it was like
Speaker 1: it was May. So it was May, um Black Levels.
Speaker 1: Before that, it was March. Yes, five years ago, Oh
Speaker 1: my goodness, insanity. IV admired and appreciated your relationship for years.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. So I'm looking for some advice.
Speaker 1: I've been with my boyfriend for nine years, yes, nine
Speaker 1: whole years, no engagement, no marriage. Were in our early thirties.
Speaker 1: We have a house and a child. But I feel
Speaker 1: like he takes me for granted. He doesn't help with
Speaker 1: any household chores, paying for groce frees or our daughter's
Speaker 1: medical bills. He really takes her to and from school,
Speaker 1: none of that. He's a new full time entrepreneur and
Speaker 1: a mom's boy, so I feel like his priorities are
Speaker 1: to work and his mom. He goes to see his
Speaker 1: mom several times a week and comes home late at
Speaker 1: night when our daughter and I already sleep. Yes, he's
Speaker 1: really at his mom's house. I've done driving by a
Speaker 1: few times to make sureous. I just feel so unappreciated
Speaker 1: and exhausted. We split the household bills fifty but I
Speaker 1: feel like I'm being overlooked. I think if he was
Speaker 1: making an effort to take me on dates or planning
Speaker 1: something for us, it made me feel a little bit better.
Speaker 1: I've resorted to retreating to my imagination where I have
Speaker 1: a husband who loves me, and as a result, I've
Speaker 1: lost attraction to my boyfriend. I guess my question is
Speaker 1: can I get to him? He gotta do better, he
Speaker 1: gotta do bet not so No, No, I don't even
Speaker 1: want to read no more. I don't heard enough. She said.
Speaker 1: I love y'all, go and pick up on herself. Oh
Speaker 1: she's like ya, you have to pick up yourself then
Speaker 1: sixty nobot I make him take your fippy? All right?
Speaker 1: About the no um, he got to do better. Bro.
Speaker 1: If once once you have a lady and she has
Speaker 1: your children, your mom cannot be first, all right? Do
Speaker 1: they have this debate on Instagram all the time? Who
Speaker 1: comes first? Your your mom, your wife, or your daughter? Listen,
Speaker 1: the woman who bared your children come first, regardless, regardless,
Speaker 1: like first of all. These dumb debates don't even make
Speaker 1: any sense to me. Okay, it's like who will get
Speaker 1: the last piece of chicken at dinner? You know your mom,
Speaker 1: whoever the is hungry, is gonna get the piece of chicken. Right,
Speaker 1: that's number one. But we're talking about, right, we're talking
Speaker 1: about in totality, right, the vast majority of your energy
Speaker 1: must go to the woman who you are creating a
Speaker 1: life with. Period. Your mom had someone who she was
Speaker 1: creating your life with, and that's your dad. That's where
Speaker 1: her energy should be. Now that you're a grown ass man,
Speaker 1: them to need to be doing that. And if he
Speaker 1: if your dad's not around, she should be focusing on
Speaker 1: her own happiness and not trying to pull her son
Speaker 1: away from his responsibilities. And when I say responsibilities, I'm
Speaker 1: not talking about paying bills. If y'all agreement is to pay,
Speaker 1: that's fine if that works for you, But he has
Speaker 1: a responsibility to continue to court that woman and be
Speaker 1: a father exact period. Because I would think I would
Speaker 1: find it strange if one of our boys was sitting
Speaker 1: at home on my couch. Oh, woman and a child,
Speaker 1: why why are you here? I guess it would raise
Speaker 1: questions for me to be like, Okay, so is something
Speaker 1: going on or you guys have a problems, Like that's
Speaker 1: the bigger issue. So here's the bigger issue. There was
Speaker 1: a reason why he's running back to his mom because
Speaker 1: if he were getting what he needed at home, he
Speaker 1: would be at home. And that's for them to figure out,
Speaker 1: because she did say when I asked him, he says,
Speaker 1: there's no problem. I'm trying to figure out if maybe
Speaker 1: I'm not doing something. Am I missing something manly that
Speaker 1: he needs me to you to make him feel fulfilled? No, no, no,
Speaker 1: no like this. He has to find fulfillment on his own.
Speaker 1: But the fact that they don't he she doesn't know,
Speaker 1: and they're not communicating, that's a problem, right, And it's
Speaker 1: been nine years, nine years of this. So here's here's
Speaker 1: a I don't want to say red flag, but I
Speaker 1: would call it a red flag typically, And I hate
Speaker 1: doing the whole typically or generally, because you don't want
Speaker 1: to speak generally about any one situation because everything is
Speaker 1: so different. But typically men have said the reason why
Speaker 1: they haven't proposed yet, or gotten engaged or got married
Speaker 1: is because they want to make sure they are where
Speaker 1: they need to be financially to sustain the house. But
Speaker 1: you already have a child and bought a home together,
Speaker 1: so finances don't seem to be an issue. And with
Speaker 1: that being said, why hasn't he made you his wife yet?
Speaker 1: And why is he continuing to run home to his mom.
Speaker 1: These are things that we don't have enough context to create,
Speaker 1: so I'm not going to try to guess, but these
Speaker 1: are things that she needs to sit him down and
Speaker 1: have a conversation for about. You know, that would be
Speaker 1: the best place to start. Don't don't tell me nothing
Speaker 1: is wrong when you're not home and you with your mom.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying, she said when she asked him,
Speaker 1: he doesn't see a problem with anything, So basically, it's
Speaker 1: her problem to figure out on her own. And and
Speaker 1: here's the truth. He may feel that way. If she
Speaker 1: don't want to live that way, you know what she
Speaker 1: can do. Chuck the deuces, Chuck chucking the numb, chuck
Speaker 1: him up right, because it's like, where exactly are things going? Right?
Speaker 1: You know, you want me to be at home with
Speaker 1: your child while you go home and be with your mom.
Speaker 1: Like that doesn't make any sense? You know what? He
Speaker 1: he got at a piss complex. You know what that's from.
Speaker 1: I've read that book. Did you read? Have you ever read? No,
Speaker 1: I've actually never read it, but I'm talking about baby
Speaker 1: Guns and butter. Yeah. I remember reading that trilogy when
Speaker 1: I was cool. Shout out to Tyres and ving Range, Complax,
Speaker 1: that's not your woman, that's mom woman. And that's what
Speaker 1: you know what's funny? If his mom is single, right
Speaker 1: when she get in man, that's when he's gonna be
Speaker 1: messed up because when that man start coming around and
Speaker 1: being like, yo, why is your growing ass son here?
Speaker 1: And then she's gonna be like, I don't know, baby,
Speaker 1: you gotta go because you know overhead said that's what's
Speaker 1: gonna happen. Trust, all right, mama, have a conversation with
Speaker 1: be honest, don't care about his feelings. He should have
Speaker 1: a conversation with you and be honest and don't care
Speaker 1: about your feelings, because y'all have to say what's really
Speaker 1: going on, because it's just not cool to see that,
Speaker 1: especially for that that young baby not having a dad
Speaker 1: at home. Number two. Hi to Valin Cadeen. I hope
Speaker 1: you all and your family are doing well. My husband
Speaker 1: and I have been together for nine years total, with
Speaker 1: a loot of nine years going on here, married for
Speaker 1: two congratulations. We recently turned thirty or another one thirty,
Speaker 1: been together since the early age, and are looking towards
Speaker 1: our next steps. The issues we are The issue is
Speaker 1: we aren't too sure on our next step. Neither of
Speaker 1: us were certain we wanted children and figured we would
Speaker 1: be able to make a decision when the time came.
Speaker 1: All the time has come. The thought of raising children
Speaker 1: in today's society is daunting, to say the least. You're
Speaker 1: talking to the choir um. We are comfortable financially, we
Speaker 1: have a really strong relationship, and we have no doubt
Speaker 1: we would be the best parents for our child. However,
Speaker 1: we have a huge fear of what will happen outside
Speaker 1: of our household? Wasn't I just talking about this last night? Um?
Speaker 1: I know you can't protect your children from everything, but
Speaker 1: I can't lie. Seeing the world as it is makes
Speaker 1: me not want to subject a child to it at all.
Speaker 1: What advice would you give a couple struggling with the
Speaker 1: decision to start a family. I feel like I need
Speaker 1: to make a decision because I can, uh, metaphorically, here
Speaker 1: my clock today. Thanks. And one thing about that clock,
Speaker 1: it's gonna take. It's gonna take. I would say, it
Speaker 1: seems as if you've had your mind made up based
Speaker 1: on everything that she said leading up to this, because
Speaker 1: I have heard more frequently now from a lot of people,
Speaker 1: men and women, that they are just not interested in
Speaker 1: having children for this very reason. Um. But my question
Speaker 1: in this, my question is are you going to feel
Speaker 1: remiss if you didn't have a child at all? You know? Um,
Speaker 1: that would be where you'd have to start, because I know,
Speaker 1: for me, for example, the one thing that I knew
Speaker 1: without of doubt since I was young is that I
Speaker 1: wanted to be a mother and that was just what
Speaker 1: was going to happen. And I felt like us having
Speaker 1: children together gives me that fulfillment, and we just do
Speaker 1: the best that we can on a day to day basis.
Speaker 1: Before we even get into that, I just want to
Speaker 1: give people perspective that I heard from my grandmother. Okay,
Speaker 1: we always want to hear her grandmother to say, Nana,
Speaker 1: probably one of the wisest people, Della May Perry Ellis
Speaker 1: said to me we were talking about having kids. This
Speaker 1: was this is when we were getting married, and I
Speaker 1: said I was nervous about bringing kids into the world
Speaker 1: because the world is so different and dangerous. And she
Speaker 1: was just like dangerous to who to look, how different
Speaker 1: the world is now than when you grew up, Nana?
Speaker 1: And she said, excuse me, but I grew up during
Speaker 1: Jim Crowe. I grew up during a time when my
Speaker 1: grandparents were telling us stories of babies were being killed
Speaker 1: at birth because their parents didn't want them to grow
Speaker 1: up in slavery. Mm hm, So how how dangerous is
Speaker 1: your world? And I was like touchet because because here
Speaker 1: in my in my little world, in my perspective, my
Speaker 1: narrow view of what I thought the world was, it
Speaker 1: was you know, imagine, you know, getting on the bus
Speaker 1: and have to worry about kids picking on you or
Speaker 1: you know you made you know, growing up in Brooklyn,
Speaker 1: someone made rob your sneakers. And then she said to me,
Speaker 1: imagine growing up in that same world, and if you
Speaker 1: look at a white woman, you can be hanging from
Speaker 1: a tree and they'll have a picnic around you and
Speaker 1: make postcards about it, and can't nobody do anything about it?
Speaker 1: So it was the world really worse now than it
Speaker 1: was then? Imagine imagine living during the time when the
Speaker 1: entire world was at war. Mhm. And I had to
Speaker 1: really sit back and think about the fact that the
Speaker 1: world isn't any worse off now all than it was
Speaker 1: during those times. It's just technology gives us access to
Speaker 1: all of the funked up things that are happening on
Speaker 1: a daily basis, But that doesn't mean that those things
Speaker 1: weren't happening. So if you're going to not have children
Speaker 1: with the mindset that the world is worse and only
Speaker 1: going to get more worse, it's a very skewed vision
Speaker 1: to have. That we're old enough to even understand the
Speaker 1: concept of what's happening in the world is why we
Speaker 1: feel that way. Thank you, Thank you, because as a
Speaker 1: kid growing up, you grew up in a messed up world.
Speaker 1: We we grew up during the eighties and the nineties
Speaker 1: in in Brooklyn during the Crack epidemic, bed style do
Speaker 1: a die. It seemed fine to us, right, But now
Speaker 1: you don't want your kids to grow up in Brooklyn
Speaker 1: because of of GS nine and and gangs. But we
Speaker 1: grew up during the Crack epidemic, you know what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: So it's like, don't don't think that's your view of
Speaker 1: the world is the only view that makes sense. And
Speaker 1: don't make decisions about what you want to do in
Speaker 1: life based on only what you see. Let's talk to people,
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying before you make a decision
Speaker 1: about birthing or childbirthing about the world. Really open up
Speaker 1: your mind. Here's another thing. Don't look at your phone
Speaker 1: and think that what you see on your Instagram, your Twitter,
Speaker 1: your Facebook is the real world. This is just the
Speaker 1: people you chose to follow, and the things you're seeing
Speaker 1: is something you curated in your mind, your curated version
Speaker 1: of what the world is. That's not really the world.
Speaker 1: What you follow or what you look at what you like,
Speaker 1: So you have no Seriously, if you follow I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna just gonna give you give an example. Say you
Speaker 1: follow or you click on stuff that happens with police
Speaker 1: officers killing young black people, right, and that's what you
Speaker 1: choose to follow. Right. Every day you wake up, your
Speaker 1: phone is going to the algorithm is going to send
Speaker 1: you videos and pictures and reminders that this event or
Speaker 1: these events are happening. What that will do is then
Speaker 1: create a fear in your mind that that's going to
Speaker 1: happen to you or your your kids. It's a self
Speaker 1: fulfilling prophecy. Right now, I'm not saying to ignore it.
Speaker 1: You have to be aware that these things are happening.
Speaker 1: But because of the phone, and because of all of
Speaker 1: these apps and the fact that they can force feed
Speaker 1: you information. Seven, when you click on things, or you
Speaker 1: follow things, or you like things, you're then helping them
Speaker 1: curate this world and also curating your mind and ideas
Speaker 1: of what's happening. So how about you click on something motivational,
Speaker 1: click on something positive, follow people who can expand your
Speaker 1: mind to think differently as opposed to just this one
Speaker 1: narrow minded view of the world. Right. And this is
Speaker 1: where this is how I got this. My grandmother used
Speaker 1: to say to my aunts and my mom. Why do
Speaker 1: y'all sit up here and just watch the news at
Speaker 1: five talk every day? The news is only going to
Speaker 1: show you the worst of the worst of what's going
Speaker 1: on in the world. They may do a puff piece
Speaker 1: about puppies at the end, but all you're gonna hear
Speaker 1: about is death, murder, robbery, And then your mindset is
Speaker 1: going to be that that's going to happen to because
Speaker 1: this is all I see. And I was just like, no,
Speaker 1: Nana is right, Why do I focus so much on
Speaker 1: the negative when I can utilize my mind to focus
Speaker 1: on all the positive things that can happen. And if
Speaker 1: you think of the world like that, you'd be excited
Speaker 1: about bringing children into the world because then you'll be
Speaker 1: excited about curating a lifestyle and curating a life for
Speaker 1: them that they can see the world bigger than you
Speaker 1: see it. And you can be the adult in that
Speaker 1: and be responsible because I mean, as adults too, you
Speaker 1: want to protect your children and shells with them from
Speaker 1: certain things. So that's why it's your responsibility to then
Speaker 1: make sure that you are curating is a good word,
Speaker 1: curating a life for your children, and if that means
Speaker 1: keeping them sheltered from certain things until you feel like
Speaker 1: they're old enough to experience it, then so be it.
Speaker 1: That's exactly why Jackson don't have a TikTok or Instagram.
Speaker 1: A matter of fact, Triple write this down. The next
Speaker 1: podcast we're gonna do is gonna be why my pre
Speaker 1: adolescent teenager or preteen is not getting social media. I'm
Speaker 1: I want to do a podcast on that because Jackson
Speaker 1: definitely asked. Jackson asked, and people keep asking why the
Speaker 1: kids don't have their social media. I want to do
Speaker 1: a whole podcast on why they're not getting a social
Speaker 1: media and it's going to be predicated on that, right there,
Speaker 1: I hear that. All right, y'all, If you want to
Speaker 1: be featured as a listener letter, be sure to email
Speaker 1: us at dead s Advice at gmail dot com. That's
Speaker 1: d E A d A S S A d V
Speaker 1: I C E at gmail dot com. All right, we
Speaker 1: keep it really sure for the moment of truth because
Speaker 1: we spoke a lot about business, We spoke about doing
Speaker 1: it with your spouse, um, so many things that we
Speaker 1: covered in today's episode. Do you have a moment of truth? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I do have a moment. My moment of truth is this.
Speaker 1: If you're going to establish a business with your spouse,
Speaker 1: there are out of great advantages. But the main thing
Speaker 1: I want people to remember is that that that business
Speaker 1: must be transferable to your spouse and your children. If
Speaker 1: you're really building something about legacy, If you're trying to
Speaker 1: build something for yourself and it's going to be all
Speaker 1: based about you, that business is gonna die when you die.
Speaker 1: So if you're building a business, build a business with
Speaker 1: legacy at legacy at its foundation, in its root. Sounds
Speaker 1: good to me, and for me, it's gonna be pretty simple.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna say, learn when to lean into your
Speaker 1: partner whenever they have their strengths, and when to defer
Speaker 1: because it's a weakness. No sense in struggling outsourcing for help.
Speaker 1: Whenever you need help. It may require you outsourcing because
Speaker 1: neither of you know something about a particular area of
Speaker 1: the business. So just leaning on each other when needed. Um,
Speaker 1: if you can make it a fun experience where you
Speaker 1: can laugh and you can enjoy the process, that in
Speaker 1: turn will just help the money to flow and things
Speaker 1: will flourish. So so first, so good ellis dap me up? Yeah?
Speaker 1: All right, y'all, please continue to listen, follow us on
Speaker 1: social media at dead aster podcast and of course I'm continued,
Speaker 1: I am and I'm devout. And if you're listening on
Speaker 1: Apple podcasts, be sure to rate, review and subscribe. Dead
Speaker 1: Ass is a production of I Heart Media podcast Network
Speaker 1: and is produced by the Noor Opinion and Triple Follow
Speaker 1: the podcast on social media at dead as the Podcasts
Speaker 1: and never miss a Thing