1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:03,000 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Dakota and this is Angie, your favorite 2 00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:06,320 Speaker 1: Okay Storytime hosts, and we've got some great stories coming up. 3 00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:08,480 Speaker 2: But before that, we have a quick two minute break 4 00:00:08,560 --> 00:00:12,119 Speaker 2: from the sponsors to keep the show alive. I refuse 5 00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:14,760 Speaker 2: to pay for my fiance's best friend because I. 6 00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:16,799 Speaker 1: Don't like him, then get rid of him. 7 00:00:17,079 --> 00:00:20,000 Speaker 2: I know how it sounds. My fiance, twenty nine Mail 8 00:00:20,079 --> 00:00:23,200 Speaker 2: is an amazing guy. He's sweet, funny, attractive, and hard 9 00:00:23,200 --> 00:00:26,480 Speaker 2: work eight I twenty nine female, was impressed with him 10 00:00:26,480 --> 00:00:28,760 Speaker 2: from the moment I met him, and we've been together 11 00:00:29,000 --> 00:00:32,280 Speaker 2: six years. We are devoted to each other and working 12 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:35,360 Speaker 2: towards building our shared life. By the way, this comes 13 00:00:35,360 --> 00:00:37,599 Speaker 2: from user throwaway Red to Blue And if you want 14 00:00:37,600 --> 00:00:39,200 Speaker 2: to submit your own stories, go to the r slash 15 00:00:39,240 --> 00:00:43,000 Speaker 2: Owkay Storytime subbort it. I'm Dakota, I'm Sophia, I'm Carly, 16 00:00:43,200 --> 00:00:45,280 Speaker 2: and we're here to give good advice. Goofily. But we 17 00:00:45,360 --> 00:00:48,640 Speaker 2: don't have all the answers I fill in see on 18 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:52,680 Speaker 2: every multiple choice test I take, So just if you 19 00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:55,600 Speaker 2: know what you would do, let us know what it 20 00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:59,400 Speaker 2: is in the comments and OPI says, we each put 21 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:01,920 Speaker 2: a percentage of our earnings into two funds, one for 22 00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:04,120 Speaker 2: our wedding, which is a year away, and another for 23 00:01:04,200 --> 00:01:06,959 Speaker 2: a down payment on a home. We each pay the 24 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:10,040 Speaker 2: same percentage, but I pay a much larger amount because 25 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:13,440 Speaker 2: I went into a higher income field. We've budgeted it 26 00:01:13,480 --> 00:01:16,160 Speaker 2: out pretty well. At this rate, we'll have enough to 27 00:01:16,160 --> 00:01:18,200 Speaker 2: buy a home around the same time as our wedding. 28 00:01:18,640 --> 00:01:21,880 Speaker 2: As planned. As to the wedding, we both wanted a 29 00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:24,600 Speaker 2: small one, and my fiance and I decided to have 30 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:28,559 Speaker 2: a destination wedding. OOO, we are paying for the entire 31 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:33,920 Speaker 2: wedding ourselves. Cool. My family's pretty poor, so I've also 32 00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:36,360 Speaker 2: been saving a portion of my remaining paycheck to be 33 00:01:36,440 --> 00:01:38,240 Speaker 2: able to pay for all of them to come to 34 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:41,160 Speaker 2: the wedding for free. I'm also paying for one of 35 00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:44,200 Speaker 2: my bridesmaids, who went into teaching and doesn't make much. 36 00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:47,760 Speaker 2: My fiance wouldn't really have the disposable cash to do that, 37 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,720 Speaker 2: but his family can afford to pay and is somewhat 38 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:54,760 Speaker 2: wealthy and is happy for the vacation. The problem arose 39 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:59,840 Speaker 2: last week my fiance's best friend, Tom thirty mail, who 40 00:02:00,080 --> 00:02:03,240 Speaker 2: he asked to be his best man, got in an accident. 41 00:02:03,320 --> 00:02:07,080 Speaker 2: Oh no, it was likely entirely his fault, as he 42 00:02:07,120 --> 00:02:10,200 Speaker 2: was riding his motorcycle while wasted. Piss tiss, all right, 43 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:14,120 Speaker 2: well not, my empathy levels are going down. He suffered 44 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:17,320 Speaker 2: significant injuries and is going to have some major medical bills, 45 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:19,520 Speaker 2: and admitted to my fiance he doesn't think he can 46 00:02:19,560 --> 00:02:20,240 Speaker 2: afford to come. 47 00:02:20,800 --> 00:02:24,520 Speaker 1: Also, should go to like, should get help in terms 48 00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:28,560 Speaker 1: of that because driving well under the influence to that 49 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:31,959 Speaker 1: level is really doesn't seem like you're in a good place. 50 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:34,920 Speaker 2: My fiance wants to pay for him, which would be 51 00:02:34,960 --> 00:02:37,480 Speaker 2: several thousand dollars, and lend him money to help cover 52 00:02:37,520 --> 00:02:41,040 Speaker 2: his medical bills, but especially with everything going on, my 53 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:45,040 Speaker 2: fiance does not have and is unlikely to be able 54 00:02:45,120 --> 00:02:48,040 Speaker 2: to get the money to do either. I could afford 55 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:51,880 Speaker 2: to do both, but I don't want to. Truthfully, I 56 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:55,920 Speaker 2: can't stand this friend. He often rides or drives wasted 57 00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:58,160 Speaker 2: and does not have a job, and makes snarky comments 58 00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:01,360 Speaker 2: about my fiance that he insisted jokes but that I 59 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:04,800 Speaker 2: know actually affect my fiance and lives in his parents' 60 00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:06,760 Speaker 2: basement while ignoring their well being. 61 00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:10,280 Speaker 1: Sounds like a bad guy. That's like that guy kind 62 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:10,760 Speaker 1: of sucks. 63 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:13,040 Speaker 2: I was willing to have him up there as best 64 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:15,839 Speaker 2: man because my fiance considers him a brother and it's 65 00:03:15,840 --> 00:03:16,400 Speaker 2: his choice. 66 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:17,600 Speaker 1: He sounds like a bad brother. 67 00:03:17,760 --> 00:03:19,720 Speaker 2: I wasn't happy about it, but I wasn't about to 68 00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:22,639 Speaker 2: throw a tantrum about it. But with everything going on, 69 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:25,960 Speaker 2: my fiance has suggested taking a huge chunk of our 70 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:29,920 Speaker 2: savings for a house to help, and I said no. 71 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:33,440 Speaker 2: We got in a huge fight and he called me 72 00:03:33,760 --> 00:03:37,480 Speaker 2: selfish and cruel, at which point I lost it. Told 73 00:03:37,560 --> 00:03:40,080 Speaker 2: him his loser friend did this to himself and that 74 00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:44,000 Speaker 2: there was no way in the world I'd pay anything 75 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:48,040 Speaker 2: for his sorry self. I ended by saying if he 76 00:03:48,080 --> 00:03:50,480 Speaker 2: can't afford to come, he can't be your best man. 77 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 2: He hasn't spoken to me since last night and slept 78 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:57,440 Speaker 2: on the couch. While I still think I'm on solid footing, 79 00:03:57,560 --> 00:04:00,200 Speaker 2: I wonder if I went too far. Am I the 80 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:00,680 Speaker 2: a hole? 81 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:02,600 Speaker 3: No? 82 00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:06,840 Speaker 1: Well, I mean, okay, I don't think in like a 83 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:08,760 Speaker 1: perfect world, I don't think you should have called his 84 00:04:08,800 --> 00:04:11,760 Speaker 1: friend like a loser blah blah blah. But he kind 85 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:14,760 Speaker 1: of started the argument and was pretty insistent on you 86 00:04:15,040 --> 00:04:17,040 Speaker 1: using your own money, and yes, it's going to be 87 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:22,200 Speaker 1: collective money, but using money that you're had planned for 88 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:24,440 Speaker 1: your future and for your house. 89 00:04:24,520 --> 00:04:27,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, the house money, and most of it's yours. 90 00:04:27,240 --> 00:04:30,359 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, exactly, And most of it's yours for his 91 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:36,159 Speaker 1: friend who has constantly been disrespectful and just unsafe and 92 00:04:36,600 --> 00:04:39,800 Speaker 1: you know, not a great person. So he like started 93 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:43,080 Speaker 1: that argument, and it seems like kind of pushed you 94 00:04:43,560 --> 00:04:47,240 Speaker 1: to that outburst. So I don't think you're the a hole. 95 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,520 Speaker 1: I think he's being kind of unreasonable. 96 00:04:49,680 --> 00:04:52,200 Speaker 2: And I'm not gonna lie, you're not even out of 97 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:54,240 Speaker 2: line because if you drink and drive all the time, Yeah, 98 00:04:54,279 --> 00:04:55,800 Speaker 2: absolutely loser. I agree. 99 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:57,919 Speaker 1: That's why I'm like, you know, if you want to 100 00:04:57,920 --> 00:05:01,440 Speaker 1: have a productive conversation, that's maybe not the best language. 101 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:05,560 Speaker 1: But also given the circumstances, this guy does suck and 102 00:05:05,600 --> 00:05:07,160 Speaker 1: should not be on the road. And I would not 103 00:05:07,200 --> 00:05:10,800 Speaker 1: be friends with someone who is like this unless you 104 00:05:10,839 --> 00:05:14,880 Speaker 1: know they're in a really bad space and like need help, 105 00:05:15,279 --> 00:05:18,599 Speaker 1: and I would like probably go that route first. But 106 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:21,720 Speaker 1: it doesn't seem like oh, P's partner is even doing that, 107 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:25,000 Speaker 1: which you know, you're not holding your front accountable or 108 00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:28,240 Speaker 1: even pushing him to get maybe help. He needs to 109 00:05:28,240 --> 00:05:28,839 Speaker 1: stop doing that. 110 00:05:29,480 --> 00:05:34,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, So not the ale tie him down and keep 111 00:05:34,680 --> 00:05:38,600 Speaker 2: his hands behind his back. That way he can't drink and. 112 00:05:38,600 --> 00:05:41,520 Speaker 1: Draw and make him run a free legged race. 113 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:47,159 Speaker 2: It's true what friends do, comment one, not the ahole. 114 00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:49,680 Speaker 2: You need to sit your fiance down and tell him 115 00:05:49,720 --> 00:05:53,320 Speaker 2: point blank that he is asking his fiance to sacrifice 116 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:57,400 Speaker 2: her values and risk the down payment on your future 117 00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:01,120 Speaker 2: house for a man who frequently drives after drinking and 118 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:04,880 Speaker 2: is currently in a situation of his own making. Personally, 119 00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:07,479 Speaker 2: I wouldn't be able to remain friends with someone who 120 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:11,960 Speaker 2: drives like that. Putting your own life in danger that's 121 00:06:12,080 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 2: none of my business, but risking other people's lives that 122 00:06:15,279 --> 00:06:18,400 Speaker 2: makes you among the lowest of the low in my mind. 123 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:20,720 Speaker 1: Now, as someone who's lost like a family member to 124 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,840 Speaker 1: drunk driving, it is completely unacceptable. 125 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:28,960 Speaker 2: Just don't do it. They got CAUs they drive themselves. Now, 126 00:06:29,760 --> 00:06:34,919 Speaker 2: your fiance needs a serious reevaluation of his morals. Opie says. 127 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:37,840 Speaker 2: I have the same view. People can be as self 128 00:06:37,880 --> 00:06:40,919 Speaker 2: destructive as they want, but I cannot respect or support 129 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:44,599 Speaker 2: someone who is destructive towards others. My fiance and I 130 00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:46,920 Speaker 2: have spoken about his friend a few times, and while 131 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:50,120 Speaker 2: he completely understands my issues with him, he still feels 132 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:53,479 Speaker 2: responsible for him, cares about him, and feels obligated to 133 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:56,560 Speaker 2: help him turn his life around. Comment two says, my 134 00:06:56,720 --> 00:06:59,680 Speaker 2: question is why is this all falling on your shoulders? 135 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:03,880 Speaker 2: If drinky Pooh Tom wants to attend your wedding and 136 00:07:03,960 --> 00:07:08,200 Speaker 2: stand by your fiance that badly, surely drinky Pooh Tom 137 00:07:08,279 --> 00:07:11,960 Speaker 2: can find some other means of making that happen besides 138 00:07:12,240 --> 00:07:14,920 Speaker 2: the bank of ope and fiance. 139 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:19,679 Speaker 1: Well, that's the thing, oh P's partner er fiance has 140 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:24,000 Speaker 1: made it clear that he'll bail his friend out, and 141 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:26,040 Speaker 1: so his friend has come to rely on him. 142 00:07:26,320 --> 00:07:31,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, it sounds like that's what's happened, OHP. He replies that, 143 00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:36,400 Speaker 2: l that made me smile, and I needed that. Drinky 144 00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:40,040 Speaker 2: Pooh Tom has no savings. For years, he mooched off 145 00:07:40,080 --> 00:07:42,320 Speaker 2: his parents, then left to live with his uncle because 146 00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:45,040 Speaker 2: his parents were insisting he'd get a job or move out. 147 00:07:45,560 --> 00:07:49,240 Speaker 2: His uncle eventually booted him out because he wouldn't contribute 148 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:51,760 Speaker 2: anything to the household. He came back to live at 149 00:07:51,800 --> 00:07:55,239 Speaker 2: home with his parents, still no job, and continuously invite 150 00:07:55,280 --> 00:07:58,560 Speaker 2: some of his less than savory friends over to stay 151 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:03,200 Speaker 2: at the house. Though his mom is immuno compromised and 152 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:08,480 Speaker 2: his undergoing chemo. So his parents haven't tossed him out yet, 153 00:08:08,480 --> 00:08:10,840 Speaker 2: but they are so fed up they are refusing to 154 00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:14,200 Speaker 2: help at all with his medical expenses or to send 155 00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:17,560 Speaker 2: him to our wedding. I can't really blame them. He 156 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:20,920 Speaker 2: does sound like the kind of guy who'd be like, oh, Mom, 157 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:25,000 Speaker 2: what the heck? Guys, it's so like unfair. You guys 158 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:28,080 Speaker 2: won't help me go to this destination wedding or pay 159 00:08:28,120 --> 00:08:30,080 Speaker 2: for they want to go to Cobbo. 160 00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:31,920 Speaker 1: Go to Cobbo. 161 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:37,119 Speaker 2: Come on, but I'll get a job next decade. Please 162 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:40,599 Speaker 2: think you know, getting a job in Cobbo. Yeah, I was, 163 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:44,440 Speaker 2: you know, like handing out drinks or like working for 164 00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:45,400 Speaker 2: those cool. 165 00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:49,160 Speaker 1: Guys selling bracelets you know on the street. 166 00:08:49,400 --> 00:08:51,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, they take you to the back room and they 167 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:55,400 Speaker 2: have things to sell. Anyway, and now that he's injured, 168 00:08:55,800 --> 00:08:58,120 Speaker 2: he probably won't be able to get a job for 169 00:08:58,160 --> 00:09:00,880 Speaker 2: a while, since he is not held a job for 170 00:09:00,920 --> 00:09:03,600 Speaker 2: more than three months in his entire life as far 171 00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:06,160 Speaker 2: as I know, I don't know that he's even eligible 172 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:10,160 Speaker 2: for unemployment or disability, so he really doesn't have many options. 173 00:09:10,760 --> 00:09:15,239 Speaker 2: And there's an edit. Thank you to everyone that's responded. 174 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:17,960 Speaker 2: I will try to work through all of those this evening. 175 00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:20,040 Speaker 2: I just want to make a quick edit based on 176 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:24,280 Speaker 2: a question that comes up. A lot are finances to clarify. 177 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:28,160 Speaker 2: We have talked about everything, especially financial expectations, to make 178 00:09:28,200 --> 00:09:31,120 Speaker 2: sure we are on the same page. My fiance's dad 179 00:09:31,200 --> 00:09:34,280 Speaker 2: is the family law attorney, and as soon as it 180 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:36,240 Speaker 2: became clear we were in it for the long term, 181 00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:39,719 Speaker 2: he sat us down discussed with us the common pitfalls 182 00:09:39,720 --> 00:09:42,920 Speaker 2: he saw that ended relationships and gave us his advice 183 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:46,960 Speaker 2: to avoid them. His advice revolves largely around open communication 184 00:09:47,080 --> 00:09:51,920 Speaker 2: and setting expectations and boundaries early, especially around money. So 185 00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:55,120 Speaker 2: when we each graduated, we talked about the career paths 186 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:58,439 Speaker 2: we wanted. My fiance decided he'd rather take a lower 187 00:09:58,520 --> 00:10:02,280 Speaker 2: paying job with normal hours, less stress, and more time 188 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:05,840 Speaker 2: outside of work. He wasn't worried about helping his parents 189 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:08,480 Speaker 2: out later in life because they are very well set up. 190 00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:11,920 Speaker 2: He also wasn't worried that much about developing a big 191 00:10:11,960 --> 00:10:15,200 Speaker 2: retirement account because he's very likely to inherit enough to 192 00:10:15,240 --> 00:10:18,960 Speaker 2: survive on comfortably. I, on the other hand, likely will 193 00:10:18,960 --> 00:10:21,760 Speaker 2: not have any inheritance and will want to provide for 194 00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:25,240 Speaker 2: my parents' medical expenses and retirement as they get older. 195 00:10:26,200 --> 00:10:28,280 Speaker 2: I also have a good amount of student loan debt. 196 00:10:28,559 --> 00:10:31,080 Speaker 2: He doesn't because his parents could afford to pay for it, 197 00:10:31,600 --> 00:10:34,120 Speaker 2: and while we both really enjoy traveling, he'd be willing 198 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:36,520 Speaker 2: to cut back on it significantly to have an easier 199 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:39,480 Speaker 2: job year round. I wouldn't want to burden him with 200 00:10:39,559 --> 00:10:42,480 Speaker 2: those costs, the ones that I brought into the relationship, 201 00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:46,400 Speaker 2: as I feel that would naturally cause resentment, especially if 202 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,720 Speaker 2: it meant he had to work a job he enjoyed 203 00:10:48,840 --> 00:10:51,920 Speaker 2: less to help share the costs with me. So I 204 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,600 Speaker 2: took a high stress job that I don't enjoy and 205 00:10:54,600 --> 00:10:57,440 Speaker 2: that requires me to work longer hours, but that pays 206 00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:01,080 Speaker 2: significantly more. We agreed we each should be able to 207 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:03,800 Speaker 2: make that choice, and decided a fair way to handle 208 00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:07,240 Speaker 2: finances would be to create a joint account for common 209 00:11:07,280 --> 00:11:11,480 Speaker 2: expenses like rent bills, food, entertainment, and work clothes. At 210 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:14,360 Speaker 2: his father's suggestion, we put in writing specifically what the 211 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:17,160 Speaker 2: fund could be used for, and agreed that anything outside 212 00:11:17,200 --> 00:11:19,920 Speaker 2: that list would need to be approved by both of us, 213 00:11:20,200 --> 00:11:22,920 Speaker 2: and that if the account is dissolved, we each get 214 00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:26,640 Speaker 2: back what we put in and we split any interest evenly. 215 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:30,560 Speaker 2: We each pay thirty five percent of our incomes. Because 216 00:11:30,640 --> 00:11:33,200 Speaker 2: of the difference in our incomes, about eighty percent of 217 00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:36,440 Speaker 2: the fund ultimately comes from my income, which I think 218 00:11:36,520 --> 00:11:39,920 Speaker 2: is reasonable because we're a team, we're building a life together, 219 00:11:40,080 --> 00:11:43,520 Speaker 2: and the difficulties of my job invariably affect him too. 220 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:47,640 Speaker 2: He would also create other joint savings accounts as needed 221 00:11:47,679 --> 00:11:50,480 Speaker 2: for new projects, each the same way, with a written 222 00:11:50,480 --> 00:11:53,040 Speaker 2: agreement as to what they can be used for. We 223 00:11:53,120 --> 00:11:55,440 Speaker 2: have one for the house twenty percent of our incomes, 224 00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:58,760 Speaker 2: and one for the wedding ten percent of our income. 225 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:00,960 Speaker 1: We just got a lot of add advice. 226 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:04,800 Speaker 2: There, a lot of da advice. Yeah, Device, I guess 227 00:12:04,800 --> 00:12:07,920 Speaker 2: it feels like you're a team. It kind of didn't 228 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:10,920 Speaker 2: in a way, but I guess it does after you 229 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,800 Speaker 2: say it enough times. I don't know, it just doesn't. 230 00:12:13,520 --> 00:12:17,040 Speaker 1: Seem like you actually solved that issue to my knowledge. 231 00:12:17,400 --> 00:12:20,559 Speaker 2: Which is the issue of did they solve it of 232 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:24,840 Speaker 2: their friend? I don't think so. We haven't really talked 233 00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:25,439 Speaker 2: about the friend. 234 00:12:25,520 --> 00:12:28,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, they're like, so, we we had a huge blow 235 00:12:28,640 --> 00:12:31,680 Speaker 1: up fight where I called his friend a loser, and 236 00:12:31,679 --> 00:12:34,040 Speaker 1: then my dad came up, and he sat us down. 237 00:12:34,200 --> 00:12:35,480 Speaker 1: He said, you need to be a team. 238 00:12:35,559 --> 00:12:37,360 Speaker 2: I don't even think that. I think this was more 239 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:40,840 Speaker 2: just like a just like clarifying how we do finances. 240 00:12:41,080 --> 00:12:43,800 Speaker 2: I guess, so, all right, well, let's we've got some more. 241 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:47,079 Speaker 2: I don't think we have a resolution to the actual problem. 242 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:50,600 Speaker 2: But don't let loser Ben go to your his name, right, 243 00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:51,920 Speaker 2: I don't know loser. 244 00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:54,559 Speaker 1: A loser, isn't it Tom? 245 00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:57,480 Speaker 2: Loser Tom? Loser Tom, loser Tom. Don't let los your 246 00:12:57,480 --> 00:12:59,560 Speaker 2: Tom go to your wedding on the call at the 247 00:12:59,600 --> 00:13:03,760 Speaker 2: cost of your house fund. Yeah, that's not gonna happen. 248 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:05,400 Speaker 2: Let's not have that happen. 249 00:13:05,960 --> 00:13:06,400 Speaker 1: I agreed. 250 00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:11,120 Speaker 2: He can come digitally anyway. We each get to keep 251 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:13,720 Speaker 2: the remaining thirty five percent for our personal spending. My 252 00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:17,439 Speaker 2: fiance does not have much left over. He has some 253 00:13:17,600 --> 00:13:19,760 Speaker 2: taken out pre taxes for a four one K, and 254 00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:21,840 Speaker 2: he uses the rest for his car and in a 255 00:13:21,880 --> 00:13:25,360 Speaker 2: few hobbies. Right now. He voluntarily went part time because 256 00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:27,440 Speaker 2: his workplace was going to need to fire people if 257 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:30,320 Speaker 2: they didn't get volunteers due to the current situation. And 258 00:13:30,400 --> 00:13:32,839 Speaker 2: we're in a good position otherwise, so he's pretty much 259 00:13:32,880 --> 00:13:35,600 Speaker 2: no disposable income. I have a ton, but it goes 260 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:38,680 Speaker 2: mostly towards yearly vacations for us, my student loans that 261 00:13:38,760 --> 00:13:41,240 Speaker 2: I'm paying double what is owed each month to pay 262 00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:44,559 Speaker 2: them down, and my retirement account, an account used to 263 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:48,679 Speaker 2: set up for my parents' future expenses, and my car payments. 264 00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:51,960 Speaker 2: Right now, it's also going towards helping with his car 265 00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:55,360 Speaker 2: payments and hobbies. So yes, I could cut back on 266 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:57,520 Speaker 2: certain things and be able to pay for his friend, 267 00:13:57,600 --> 00:13:59,920 Speaker 2: but it would affect those other things that I've worked 268 00:14:00,120 --> 00:14:02,840 Speaker 2: hard for it. I realized this system would not work 269 00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:05,319 Speaker 2: for everyone, but it works for us, and I am 270 00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:10,240 Speaker 2: definitely not financially mistreating my fiance. And that is the 271 00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:11,040 Speaker 2: end of that story. 272 00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:13,199 Speaker 1: Well, hope you guys figure out the Tom Sich. 273 00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,199 Speaker 2: Good luck, And that's the end of this story. We're 274 00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:18,400 Speaker 2: gonna go on to the next one. 275 00:14:18,800 --> 00:14:22,000 Speaker 1: My fiance has been love bombing me and I finally 276 00:14:22,040 --> 00:14:23,360 Speaker 1: discovered the reason why. 277 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:25,280 Speaker 2: It's because they love me. 278 00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:28,320 Speaker 1: I know the title sounds horrible, but please hear me out. 279 00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:31,560 Speaker 1: My fiance forty five female and I forty five male. 280 00:14:31,640 --> 00:14:34,400 Speaker 1: I've been engaged for two years and I've been together 281 00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:37,960 Speaker 1: for three. I have been divorced twice already. She's also 282 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:41,200 Speaker 1: been divorced twice and has one amazing daughter. My first 283 00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:43,400 Speaker 1: X was cheating on me while I was deployed. We 284 00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:46,000 Speaker 1: didn't have kids, so it was no problem with the divorce. 285 00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:47,360 Speaker 2: By the way, this. 286 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:50,400 Speaker 1: Comes from Outrageous Gear four one six zero and if 287 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:51,800 Speaker 1: you want to smit your own stories, go to the 288 00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:53,600 Speaker 1: rslash Okay, storytime subbered it. 289 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:56,440 Speaker 2: I'm Sophia, I'm Dakota. 290 00:14:56,160 --> 00:14:58,520 Speaker 1: I'm Carly, and we're here to give good advice. Goof ley, 291 00:14:58,560 --> 00:15:00,160 Speaker 1: but we don't have all the answers. Really, I know 292 00:15:00,160 --> 00:15:02,080 Speaker 1: what we'd do to let us know what you would 293 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:06,400 Speaker 1: do in the comments and op sets. My second ex 294 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:12,200 Speaker 1: got hooked on hardcore substances and had multiple online affairs. Yikes. 295 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:15,640 Speaker 1: We did have kids. One child was hers from a 296 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:19,720 Speaker 1: previous marriage and we had two children together. I adopted 297 00:15:19,720 --> 00:15:22,120 Speaker 1: her kid and I love her with all my heart. 298 00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:25,240 Speaker 1: When she turned nineteen and moved out to college, she 299 00:15:25,280 --> 00:15:27,600 Speaker 1: pushed me to get a divorce because of how horrible 300 00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:30,280 Speaker 1: her mom was and said that I deserved happiness. 301 00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:30,600 Speaker 2: Wow. 302 00:15:31,040 --> 00:15:34,240 Speaker 1: Because of my excess issue, I have full custody of 303 00:15:34,280 --> 00:15:36,840 Speaker 1: my kids, who are now teenagers. This is when I 304 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:40,440 Speaker 1: met my fiance. We both worked for the same government agency. 305 00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:43,360 Speaker 1: We were in separate departments, but when we ran into 306 00:15:43,400 --> 00:15:46,280 Speaker 1: each other, we immediately clicked. She was a big wig 307 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:49,480 Speaker 1: and I was just a pee on. We started hanging out, 308 00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:53,480 Speaker 1: and within weeks of meeting, we were dating. Within six 309 00:15:53,520 --> 00:15:56,240 Speaker 1: months of dating, she invited me to move in with her, 310 00:15:56,720 --> 00:16:00,080 Speaker 1: which I partially did. I wasn't ready to expose my 311 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:03,160 Speaker 1: kids fully to someone new until I could make sure 312 00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:06,080 Speaker 1: they would treat them right, so I would spend weekends 313 00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:09,359 Speaker 1: with her while my parents watched my kids, and sometimes 314 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:12,320 Speaker 1: I spent the night during the week. Within two weeks 315 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:17,120 Speaker 1: of this arrangement, her attitude shifted. She started acting cold 316 00:16:17,160 --> 00:16:20,160 Speaker 1: and distant. She was hiding her phone and giggling with 317 00:16:20,200 --> 00:16:23,280 Speaker 1: someone on the phone while giving me the cold shoulder. Hmm, 318 00:16:23,720 --> 00:16:25,640 Speaker 1: that does sound like cheating. 319 00:16:26,320 --> 00:16:29,040 Speaker 2: That makes me a little uncomfy. 320 00:16:29,920 --> 00:16:32,400 Speaker 1: I'm not proud of what I did next, but I 321 00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:34,360 Speaker 1: was able to get into her phone while she was 322 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:39,200 Speaker 1: sleeping and found out she was having phone spicy time with. 323 00:16:39,200 --> 00:16:42,840 Speaker 2: Two other guys. Dang well, it could have been worse. 324 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:46,200 Speaker 2: Could have been three, could have been four. Five. 325 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:49,960 Speaker 1: I flipped out, grabbed my stuff, and left. She woke 326 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:52,480 Speaker 1: up to see me grabbing my things and begged me 327 00:16:52,560 --> 00:16:55,480 Speaker 1: to stay. I told her no and walked out. 328 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:57,440 Speaker 2: For the next two weeks, she kept. 329 00:16:57,200 --> 00:17:00,400 Speaker 1: Calling and begging me to forgive her, saying she would 330 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:03,120 Speaker 1: never do it again. She said she missed me and 331 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:06,040 Speaker 1: made a huge mistake not taking our relationship more seriously. 332 00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:09,960 Speaker 1: After talking this over with my friends and family, I 333 00:17:10,040 --> 00:17:12,919 Speaker 1: decided to give her another chance, but I told her 334 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:16,399 Speaker 1: if she ever does that again, I would leave without 335 00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:20,160 Speaker 1: a second thought. We started dating again and I finally 336 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:23,360 Speaker 1: introduced her to my kids. After a year, we got engaged. 337 00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:26,679 Speaker 1: She was sweet to my kids and the kids got along. 338 00:17:27,440 --> 00:17:31,080 Speaker 1: Everyone seemed to get along great, that is until we 339 00:17:31,160 --> 00:17:34,520 Speaker 1: decided to officially move in together. We got a house 340 00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:37,600 Speaker 1: that could accommodate everyone. That's when the remark started about 341 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:42,000 Speaker 1: my kids, how loud and annoying they are, how much 342 00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:44,879 Speaker 1: they get on her nerves. At first, I thought it 343 00:17:44,960 --> 00:17:47,440 Speaker 1: was just an adjustment to having all the extra bodies 344 00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:51,320 Speaker 1: in the house, But after six months of NonStop rap 345 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:55,480 Speaker 1: talking all my kids, I started snapping back. Yes, my 346 00:17:55,600 --> 00:17:58,400 Speaker 1: kids can be a little hyper sometimes when they get excited, 347 00:17:58,800 --> 00:18:01,000 Speaker 1: but for the most part, they can to themselves in 348 00:18:01,040 --> 00:18:04,000 Speaker 1: their rooms. She refuses to go out to eat with 349 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:08,040 Speaker 1: them or have any quality time. When she does finally 350 00:18:08,040 --> 00:18:10,320 Speaker 1: do it due to one of our arguments, she acts 351 00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:13,919 Speaker 1: bitter the entire time. Her daughter has now started calling 352 00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:16,280 Speaker 1: me Dad because I spend equal time with all of 353 00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:18,840 Speaker 1: them and treat her like my own. My kids refuse 354 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:21,199 Speaker 1: to acknowledge my fiance as such because of how she 355 00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:25,040 Speaker 1: acts towards them. Then, yeah, maybe shouldn't be your fiance. 356 00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:28,680 Speaker 2: It's sort of reading that way, isn't it. 357 00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:32,159 Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like, didn't charity cheat or is this before? 358 00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:36,679 Speaker 2: I think this is the cheating comes after? 359 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:41,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean one, she mistreats her kids or you know, 360 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:45,240 Speaker 1: at least is not nice to them. Uh, and also 361 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:48,480 Speaker 1: cheating on you. So it's pretty cut and dry. Here 362 00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,680 Speaker 1: comes the other issues. When we got engaged, she said, 363 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:55,240 Speaker 1: she refuses to take my last name or wait, wait, 364 00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:58,720 Speaker 1: was that the last wife? Maybe was that the last 365 00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:03,680 Speaker 1: wife or was this the fiance? I'm double checking? Uh, 366 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:07,440 Speaker 1: so I met my fiance, they start she starts cheating 367 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:11,880 Speaker 1: and maybe oh okay, okay, so OPI gave her another chance. 368 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:14,560 Speaker 2: Sorry, so they cool to look past it because people 369 00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:19,679 Speaker 2: have cheated on him in the past, and oh didn't 370 00:19:19,680 --> 00:19:23,560 Speaker 2: get cheated on like but to but it was just 371 00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:24,760 Speaker 2: thumb to thumb, you know. 372 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:30,480 Speaker 1: So yeah that and also one, We've got like so 373 00:19:30,640 --> 00:19:34,359 Speaker 1: many reasons to leave this girl. She cheated on you, 374 00:19:34,520 --> 00:19:36,760 Speaker 1: she's not nice to your kids. We gotta move, We 375 00:19:36,840 --> 00:19:39,040 Speaker 1: got to move out of here. She has been married 376 00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:40,840 Speaker 1: twice and does not want to have to change her 377 00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:43,800 Speaker 1: name again. I think that's reasonable. If she weren't like 378 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:46,920 Speaker 1: kind of sucky all round, I'd be like, that's reasonable. 379 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:49,240 Speaker 1: She switched back. You were made a name after her 380 00:19:49,320 --> 00:19:52,000 Speaker 1: last divorce. I had no problem with that and was 381 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:54,879 Speaker 1: willing to compromise. Then she said, I'm not allowed to 382 00:19:54,920 --> 00:19:58,240 Speaker 1: post about us on social media. This irked me. I 383 00:19:58,320 --> 00:20:01,320 Speaker 1: asked her why she wanted to hide our relationship. She 384 00:20:01,359 --> 00:20:03,560 Speaker 1: said she doesn't want anybody at her job to know 385 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:08,400 Speaker 1: about us. Okay, now, to clarify, I left the job 386 00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:11,520 Speaker 1: we both worked at before we got engaged to avoid 387 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:14,359 Speaker 1: any weird drama. She was a head honcho there and 388 00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,800 Speaker 1: I was just a worker, even though we worked in 389 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:19,520 Speaker 1: different departments. I didn't want to risk her getting in trouble. 390 00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:23,120 Speaker 1: Now she's saying that if her job finds out about us, 391 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:26,920 Speaker 1: she'll be fired. So no social media posts and we're 392 00:20:26,960 --> 00:20:30,520 Speaker 1: not to be seen in public being intimate, No anolding, 393 00:20:30,640 --> 00:20:33,600 Speaker 1: and no kissing. She tells people at work that we're 394 00:20:33,760 --> 00:20:40,320 Speaker 1: just friends. Yeah, that's an huge, huge red flag. 395 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:45,080 Speaker 2: I am not staying engaged, nor am I staying in 396 00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:48,080 Speaker 2: a relationship with this lady. Yeah. 397 00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:52,240 Speaker 1: Like at that point, you're literally you're about to get 398 00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:56,280 Speaker 1: married and she doesn't want to tell her job or HR. 399 00:20:56,400 --> 00:21:00,080 Speaker 1: Hey i'm seeing one of you know, a guy works here. 400 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:04,119 Speaker 2: Yeah. I mean I'm always a proponent of the secret wedding, 401 00:21:04,240 --> 00:21:06,240 Speaker 2: but this one feels like it would be a secret 402 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:09,000 Speaker 2: wedding because she doesn't want people to know you exist, 403 00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:11,560 Speaker 2: which is not the reason to do a secret wedding. 404 00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:12,240 Speaker 2: Two secret. 405 00:21:12,720 --> 00:21:15,520 Speaker 1: At this point, my red flag alarm system was going berserk. 406 00:21:16,080 --> 00:21:18,560 Speaker 1: I tried to discuss this with my friends, and they 407 00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:21,680 Speaker 1: think my trust issues from my past relationships may be 408 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:24,560 Speaker 1: interfering in that I wouldn't get a chance with someone 409 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:27,840 Speaker 1: like her again, a cheater. You wouldn't get a chance 410 00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:28,320 Speaker 1: with a cheater. 411 00:21:28,359 --> 00:21:31,320 Speaker 2: I guess, cheeter, cheater and pumpkin eater. Her face is 412 00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:33,600 Speaker 2: all orange because all she does zep pumpkins all. 413 00:21:33,560 --> 00:21:37,400 Speaker 1: Day now let's be honest. She is a complete ten 414 00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:41,119 Speaker 1: in the looks department while I'm a steady five. She 415 00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:44,160 Speaker 1: is drop she is super gorgeous. 416 00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:47,520 Speaker 2: She's freaking wee wait wait. 417 00:21:47,400 --> 00:21:51,640 Speaker 1: Wait wait girl, and gets hit on all the time. 418 00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:54,359 Speaker 1: He tells me when people hit on her, even people 419 00:21:54,440 --> 00:21:57,119 Speaker 1: she works with, and she rejects them. I don't know 420 00:21:57,160 --> 00:21:59,639 Speaker 1: if this is lip service or what the new thing 421 00:21:59,720 --> 00:22:02,159 Speaker 1: she does is. As soon as she gets home, she 422 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:05,159 Speaker 1: deletes all her text messages, saying she doesn't like the 423 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:06,199 Speaker 1: clutter on the screen. 424 00:22:06,840 --> 00:22:08,879 Speaker 2: That's just not true. 425 00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:10,399 Speaker 1: That's just cheating. 426 00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:13,159 Speaker 2: You're just a dirty little liar. 427 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:15,720 Speaker 1: I've tried to see what's on there, but she's so 428 00:22:15,880 --> 00:22:18,639 Speaker 1: quick in deleting it. I can't see anything. And she 429 00:22:18,720 --> 00:22:21,960 Speaker 1: tells me it's just work messages. That's not true. 430 00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:24,040 Speaker 2: Nobody does that. 431 00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:27,360 Speaker 1: Now when she gets texts, she does this thing where 432 00:22:27,400 --> 00:22:29,960 Speaker 1: she leans back far enough so I can't see what 433 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:34,080 Speaker 1: she's texting and immediately deletes the text, or she jumps 434 00:22:34,160 --> 00:22:36,480 Speaker 1: up and goes to the bathroom. She's been pressuring me 435 00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:38,760 Speaker 1: into when we are getting married lately. I told her, 436 00:22:38,760 --> 00:22:41,639 Speaker 1: when she can prove her loyalty to me, her family 437 00:22:41,680 --> 00:22:44,120 Speaker 1: and our friends think I shouldn't be acting this way. 438 00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:47,159 Speaker 1: They say. My insecurities are mine and I need to 439 00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:49,400 Speaker 1: get over them. I just want to know if she's 440 00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:51,679 Speaker 1: embarrassed by me or if I am being played for 441 00:22:51,720 --> 00:22:54,640 Speaker 1: a fool? What do you guys think? You are being 442 00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:58,160 Speaker 1: played for a fool? And also she is embarrassed by you? 443 00:22:58,359 --> 00:23:03,560 Speaker 2: I hear a little ma'm mitlanau because you're being played 444 00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:04,119 Speaker 2: like a fiddle. 445 00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:08,879 Speaker 1: Yes, um, she's cheating on you. Now, she was cheating 446 00:23:08,920 --> 00:23:10,199 Speaker 1: on you? Then we gotta go. 447 00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:14,679 Speaker 2: She will cheat on you again? Then will she. 448 00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:19,720 Speaker 1: Cheat on you? Have you cheated? That was a That 449 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:22,879 Speaker 1: was an Elijah Woods reference. But there's an update. Leave 450 00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:24,480 Speaker 1: leave that's the answer. 451 00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:29,680 Speaker 2: But wait, but wait, wait what she's so hot? 452 00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:31,320 Speaker 1: But did we think about that. She's a ten? 453 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:33,919 Speaker 2: She's so hot? Cheat on me? 454 00:23:34,320 --> 00:23:36,520 Speaker 1: Oh, she's so hot that you're burning yourself. 455 00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:39,119 Speaker 2: Cheat on me, baby girl, Cheat on me. 456 00:23:40,480 --> 00:23:43,800 Speaker 1: That's what Opie said. Thank you everyone for your comments. 457 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:47,120 Speaker 1: It's been a month since I last posted. A lot 458 00:23:47,160 --> 00:23:49,480 Speaker 1: has happened since then. Right now, I'm sitting at a 459 00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:52,880 Speaker 1: bar trying to drown my stupidity. I'm not sure where 460 00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:56,160 Speaker 1: to begin. I called her on her bs. We got 461 00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:59,359 Speaker 1: into a fight about her behavior. After that, it seems 462 00:23:59,400 --> 00:24:02,840 Speaker 1: she started she started getting more involved with my kids. 463 00:24:03,320 --> 00:24:06,480 Speaker 1: You seem to be more transparent and open. I thought 464 00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:09,199 Speaker 1: things were going in a good direction. We spent the 465 00:24:09,240 --> 00:24:12,000 Speaker 1: holidays with my family and she was friendly and seemed 466 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:15,359 Speaker 1: genuinely happy. Two weeks ago, she said she had a 467 00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:18,919 Speaker 1: temporary assignment out of town. I thought it was weird, 468 00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:22,159 Speaker 1: but said whatever, it's her job. But I had this 469 00:24:22,200 --> 00:24:25,680 Speaker 1: weird not in my stomach. I started questioning her about it, 470 00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:29,639 Speaker 1: and something felt off. She wouldn't give me details about 471 00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:32,960 Speaker 1: her hotel or what she was doing. So I did 472 00:24:33,000 --> 00:24:36,040 Speaker 1: something that I'm not proud of. I put a tracker 473 00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:37,120 Speaker 1: in her car. 474 00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:40,880 Speaker 2: My guy, oh, you're doing FBI. 475 00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:44,240 Speaker 1: Now, well, we've got to be the FBI to our girlfriend. 476 00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:49,240 Speaker 1: Maybe we got a f out of that relationship. 477 00:24:49,400 --> 00:24:52,200 Speaker 2: You don't what you should say? F B y E 478 00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:55,480 Speaker 2: by FB. Why are you doing that? 479 00:24:55,960 --> 00:24:56,200 Speaker 3: Why? 480 00:24:57,080 --> 00:24:59,600 Speaker 1: Because it's just silly. Now, it's it's silly. 481 00:24:59,520 --> 00:25:05,280 Speaker 2: Freaking booty inspector. Huh, that's what FBI stands for. Yeah. 482 00:25:05,320 --> 00:25:08,360 Speaker 1: I helped her pack her clothes. She grabbed sweats, jeans, 483 00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:11,679 Speaker 1: and workshirts, told me she loved me, then left the 484 00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:14,880 Speaker 1: two days prior to her leaving were weird. The best 485 00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:17,320 Speaker 1: way I can describe it is she was love bombing me. 486 00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:20,000 Speaker 1: She kept telling me how much she left me and 487 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,360 Speaker 1: how she was going to miss me. She was more 488 00:25:22,400 --> 00:25:25,520 Speaker 1: affectionate than she had been in months. After she left 489 00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:29,040 Speaker 1: and went to the hotel for her job, I started 490 00:25:29,119 --> 00:25:31,200 Speaker 1: tracking her. She said she had to be at the 491 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:34,640 Speaker 1: job site by two pm, which was two hours away her. 492 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:37,080 Speaker 1: She had to check into her hotel, then she would 493 00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:39,719 Speaker 1: head to the job site. The problem was her vehicle 494 00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:42,760 Speaker 1: never left the hotel, so I followed her tracker to 495 00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:45,400 Speaker 1: the hotel. I pulled up to the hotel and saw 496 00:25:45,400 --> 00:25:48,080 Speaker 1: her vehicle, the nice convertible that she wanted me to 497 00:25:48,119 --> 00:25:51,160 Speaker 1: buy her, so I did. I called her and texted her, 498 00:25:51,160 --> 00:25:54,320 Speaker 1: but she wouldn't respond. She finally called me back and 499 00:25:54,359 --> 00:25:56,240 Speaker 1: told me she was busy working and had to go 500 00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:58,600 Speaker 1: to the bathroom to talk to me because of the noise. 501 00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:01,680 Speaker 1: She said she would be working all night and would 502 00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:04,199 Speaker 1: call me when she got off work. I sat in 503 00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:07,800 Speaker 1: that parking lot, doubting myself. What if I was wrong? 504 00:26:08,280 --> 00:26:10,199 Speaker 1: What if she took a shuttle or uber to her 505 00:26:10,280 --> 00:26:13,760 Speaker 1: job site. I sat in my car processing. When I 506 00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:16,639 Speaker 1: saw her, she came out of the hotel with her boss. 507 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,959 Speaker 1: She was dressed in a nice outfit that she hadn't ACKed. 508 00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:23,520 Speaker 1: They walked to her boss's truck. He opened her door, 509 00:26:24,040 --> 00:26:26,720 Speaker 1: helped her in, and climbed into the driver's seat. 510 00:26:27,359 --> 00:26:27,959 Speaker 2: It broke me. 511 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:31,760 Speaker 1: I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Suddenly a rage 512 00:26:31,840 --> 00:26:35,399 Speaker 1: surged through me. Everything in me wanted to ram his truck. 513 00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:36,240 Speaker 2: Eh ooh. 514 00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:39,440 Speaker 1: The rage quickly turned into cold anger. I texted her 515 00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:43,760 Speaker 1: enjoy finger boss. I put my car and drive and 516 00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:47,439 Speaker 1: drove home. I called my friend and asked if I 517 00:26:47,440 --> 00:26:51,000 Speaker 1: could swing by. He recently went through something similar. He 518 00:26:51,040 --> 00:26:53,240 Speaker 1: said his door was always open and to swing by 519 00:26:53,280 --> 00:26:55,840 Speaker 1: when I got back into town. When I got there, 520 00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:58,439 Speaker 1: I told him everything. He didn't say a lot. He 521 00:26:58,560 --> 00:27:01,640 Speaker 1: just listened or I was done. He said there wasn't 522 00:27:01,640 --> 00:27:04,040 Speaker 1: a lot of advice he could give me. I needed 523 00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:07,320 Speaker 1: to figure things out. Whatever I decided. He would have 524 00:27:07,400 --> 00:27:09,600 Speaker 1: my back, and he helped me talk through what needed 525 00:27:09,640 --> 00:27:12,200 Speaker 1: to be done. I left his house and went to mine. 526 00:27:12,600 --> 00:27:14,480 Speaker 1: I woke my kids up and told them to pack 527 00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:17,000 Speaker 1: some clothes. I called my parents and asked if I 528 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:19,040 Speaker 1: could stay there for a few days and I started 529 00:27:19,080 --> 00:27:22,879 Speaker 1: packing my clothes when my now ex fiance came into 530 00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:25,879 Speaker 1: the house. She kept trying to call me, but I 531 00:27:25,960 --> 00:27:28,760 Speaker 1: blocked her number, so she drove back from the hotel 532 00:27:28,840 --> 00:27:31,840 Speaker 1: to the house to talk to me. Did she just 533 00:27:31,880 --> 00:27:34,159 Speaker 1: want him to like parent her kids? 534 00:27:35,160 --> 00:27:38,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm not sure what her long, you know, term 535 00:27:38,400 --> 00:27:40,000 Speaker 2: plan was here, Like. 536 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:43,120 Speaker 4: I don't understand it, And of course she's gonna pull 537 00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:47,280 Speaker 4: the no way it's you don't understand. Yeah, it's not 538 00:27:47,400 --> 00:27:49,720 Speaker 4: what it looks like, and then she'll pivot to, well, 539 00:27:49,760 --> 00:27:50,880 Speaker 4: it is what it looks like, but. 540 00:27:50,960 --> 00:27:53,200 Speaker 2: Not the way that you think. It didn't mean anything, 541 00:27:53,760 --> 00:27:56,320 Speaker 2: and then she'll just pivot to, well, you shouldn't think 542 00:27:56,359 --> 00:28:00,239 Speaker 2: that way. You should be okay with this act. So 543 00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:03,280 Speaker 2: you didn't love me enough, that's right, And that's the 544 00:28:03,359 --> 00:28:04,560 Speaker 2: final pivot right there. 545 00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:08,240 Speaker 1: I kept packing while she kept trying to explain to 546 00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:10,640 Speaker 1: me that it didn't what I thought, that they were 547 00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:13,040 Speaker 1: just going for a drink. I told her to get 548 00:28:13,080 --> 00:28:15,840 Speaker 1: away from me. The weird thing is it is she 549 00:28:15,960 --> 00:28:18,760 Speaker 1: wasn't showing much emotion. She kept telling me that she 550 00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:20,679 Speaker 1: didn't want to lose me and that I was a 551 00:28:20,720 --> 00:28:24,560 Speaker 1: big misunderstanding. She kept blocking the door so I couldn't leap. 552 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,000 Speaker 1: As much as I wanted to, I didn't try to 553 00:28:27,040 --> 00:28:28,800 Speaker 1: move her. I didn't want her to be able to 554 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:31,439 Speaker 1: say that I touched her. It took an hour for 555 00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:34,480 Speaker 1: me to get her to move. Finally I was able 556 00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:37,240 Speaker 1: to leave and went to my parents' house. Of course, 557 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:40,000 Speaker 1: she immediately tried to spin the narrative, telling everyone it 558 00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:44,200 Speaker 1: was a misunderstanding. Everyone started calling me and telling me 559 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:47,720 Speaker 1: to call her and talk it out. It's just a misunderstanding, 560 00:28:47,880 --> 00:28:51,120 Speaker 1: and she didn't do anything. I blocked them all. 561 00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:55,200 Speaker 2: You didn't really find any concrete evidence that what you 562 00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:59,880 Speaker 2: think happened did happen. With the additional context you provided us, 563 00:29:00,080 --> 00:29:03,360 Speaker 2: it feels like a pretty much it's like a pretty 564 00:29:03,400 --> 00:29:08,160 Speaker 2: much a certainty that it did. However, you really didn't 565 00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:11,480 Speaker 2: get to a point of incontrovertible evidence. 566 00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:14,080 Speaker 1: But honestly, I don't even care, because whatever it gets 567 00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:15,760 Speaker 1: a p out of this relationship is good with me. 568 00:29:16,240 --> 00:29:16,840 Speaker 1: That's where I'm at. 569 00:29:16,960 --> 00:29:20,000 Speaker 2: Yeah, I do believe this is bad, and you know 570 00:29:20,040 --> 00:29:23,240 Speaker 2: what you did. Already have evidence she cheated on you before, 571 00:29:23,360 --> 00:29:25,440 Speaker 2: so in a way, that's all the evidence you need 572 00:29:25,480 --> 00:29:26,600 Speaker 2: that she'd do it again. 573 00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:30,440 Speaker 1: And she was a bad parent, so kind of all 574 00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:33,600 Speaker 1: good because she is blocked on my phone. She started 575 00:29:33,640 --> 00:29:36,080 Speaker 1: emailing me, telling me she was sorry and how she'd 576 00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:39,160 Speaker 1: never meant to hurt me, and that she now sees 577 00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:42,360 Speaker 1: how she has been and how she can change. She said, 578 00:29:42,400 --> 00:29:44,640 Speaker 1: she sees how she has damaged our family and how 579 00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:45,400 Speaker 1: she can fix it. 580 00:29:45,440 --> 00:29:50,480 Speaker 2: Well, okay, and you unbang your boss. Wow, how do 581 00:29:50,560 --> 00:29:52,760 Speaker 2: we do? Do you have a time machine and we 582 00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:57,360 Speaker 2: can go back and take the place that in our lives? 583 00:29:57,720 --> 00:30:01,120 Speaker 1: I can see birds. Lying doesn't mean I can lie. 584 00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:03,800 Speaker 1: I told her that she had four years to do that. 585 00:30:04,200 --> 00:30:07,160 Speaker 1: She didn't regret what she did. She regretted getting caught, 586 00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:10,000 Speaker 1: and I blocked her email. I want to go scorched her. 587 00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:13,160 Speaker 1: Her boss is married with three kids. I want to 588 00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:15,520 Speaker 1: burn it all down and contact his wife and the 589 00:30:15,720 --> 00:30:18,840 Speaker 1: HR department and let them know what their government employees 590 00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:19,400 Speaker 1: have been doing. 591 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:21,400 Speaker 2: Yay, do that. 592 00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:24,840 Speaker 1: So now I'm sitting at the bar, spiraling between anger 593 00:30:24,880 --> 00:30:27,600 Speaker 1: and heartache. I'm not sure what to do next. The 594 00:30:27,720 --> 00:30:29,840 Speaker 1: least for our house is in both of our names. 595 00:30:30,240 --> 00:30:31,920 Speaker 1: I don't have the money for a deposit for a 596 00:30:31,960 --> 00:30:34,360 Speaker 1: new rental, so I am sitting here trying to figure 597 00:30:34,360 --> 00:30:36,960 Speaker 1: out the next steps in my life. I will keep 598 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:40,680 Speaker 1: everyone updated on what I can figure out. I my 599 00:30:40,800 --> 00:30:45,920 Speaker 1: only my only kind of warning to scorched her is 600 00:30:45,960 --> 00:30:49,920 Speaker 1: I think you should tell the boss's wife that she 601 00:30:49,960 --> 00:30:53,360 Speaker 1: deserves to know. However, I don't know if you should 602 00:30:53,360 --> 00:30:58,680 Speaker 1: tell your company or you know, wherever they work unless 603 00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:02,000 Speaker 1: you cause it seems like you a good relationship relationship 604 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,600 Speaker 1: with her kids, and if she loses her job, that 605 00:31:04,680 --> 00:31:07,920 Speaker 1: affects them too. So that's my only thinking there. 606 00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:12,720 Speaker 2: Well, the children in the marriage that the boss has 607 00:31:12,840 --> 00:31:15,320 Speaker 2: is going to be affected by the knowledge that their 608 00:31:15,560 --> 00:31:16,760 Speaker 2: parents are going to get divorced. 609 00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:21,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, no matter what I think, it's just like financially, what. 610 00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:23,320 Speaker 2: I did is what I mean. I think you just 611 00:31:24,040 --> 00:31:25,200 Speaker 2: move somewhere else. 612 00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:26,800 Speaker 1: You just leave. 613 00:31:27,320 --> 00:31:29,040 Speaker 2: And that's the end of this story. We're going to 614 00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:31,680 Speaker 2: go on to the next one. Hey, it's Dakota, your 615 00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:34,680 Speaker 2: favorite good time boy host. Here. We're going to get 616 00:31:34,680 --> 00:31:36,920 Speaker 2: back to the stories. But here's three minutes of ads 617 00:31:36,920 --> 00:31:38,080 Speaker 2: from our sponsors. 618 00:31:38,480 --> 00:31:41,520 Speaker 1: My boyfriend decided to share a hotel with random women 619 00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:43,520 Speaker 1: after wanting to go solo. 620 00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:45,200 Speaker 2: That seems suspicious. 621 00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:48,280 Speaker 1: Currently, my boyfriend is traveling with two random girls he 622 00:31:48,360 --> 00:31:50,920 Speaker 1: met in a hostel. He initially told me he would 623 00:31:50,920 --> 00:31:53,160 Speaker 1: be traveling to an island alone and that he would 624 00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:55,880 Speaker 1: be staying in hostels. He spent two nights in the 625 00:31:55,960 --> 00:31:58,360 Speaker 1: varsity and was having a good time exploring with a 626 00:31:58,400 --> 00:32:01,040 Speaker 1: group of people he had met at the hostel. After 627 00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:03,080 Speaker 1: his two nights there, he told me he was taking 628 00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:05,680 Speaker 1: an uber to the next city. By the way, this 629 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:08,320 Speaker 1: comes from Kindly Sugars seven to seven eight and if 630 00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:09,800 Speaker 1: you want to smit your own stories, go to the 631 00:32:09,880 --> 00:32:11,640 Speaker 1: r slash Okay storytime suppared it. 632 00:32:11,920 --> 00:32:14,240 Speaker 2: I'm Sophia, I'm Riley, I'm ke On. 633 00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:16,200 Speaker 1: And we're here to give good advice goofy. But we 634 00:32:16,200 --> 00:32:19,200 Speaker 1: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do, 635 00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:21,080 Speaker 1: So let us know what you would do in the 636 00:32:21,080 --> 00:32:25,080 Speaker 1: comments and Opie says usually we talk when he has 637 00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:27,800 Speaker 1: time like this, But when I called him, he told 638 00:32:27,800 --> 00:32:30,440 Speaker 1: me he was actually traveling with some other people because 639 00:32:30,440 --> 00:32:32,560 Speaker 1: they were taking the same path as him, so he 640 00:32:32,600 --> 00:32:35,280 Speaker 1: could not answer the phone. The next day, we were 641 00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:37,240 Speaker 1: talking on the phone and he had to go soon 642 00:32:37,320 --> 00:32:39,440 Speaker 1: because the people he was with were waiting for him. 643 00:32:39,920 --> 00:32:42,120 Speaker 1: I asked him who they were, assuming they were guys. 644 00:32:43,720 --> 00:32:46,840 Speaker 1: I called them guys at that point he made a 645 00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:49,920 Speaker 1: face that made me think otherwise, and I asked them 646 00:32:50,080 --> 00:32:53,640 Speaker 1: if they were girls. He said yeah. I asked him 647 00:32:53,640 --> 00:32:55,960 Speaker 1: if he was joking, and he said he was not. 648 00:32:56,680 --> 00:32:58,640 Speaker 1: I asked why he was spending time with him like that, 649 00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:01,200 Speaker 1: and he said because they were on the same path 650 00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:04,480 Speaker 1: as him. I don't think this is unreasonable yet. I 651 00:33:04,480 --> 00:33:07,479 Speaker 1: don't think we've reached a part of the story that 652 00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:08,400 Speaker 1: it's unreasonable. 653 00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:11,200 Speaker 2: But kind of had to get him out of it, 654 00:33:11,480 --> 00:33:12,120 Speaker 2: like yeah. 655 00:33:11,960 --> 00:33:14,840 Speaker 1: I think, well, well, I mean, all he said he 656 00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:17,720 Speaker 1: was like, I'm traveling with some people, and then she 657 00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:19,600 Speaker 1: was like guys. It was like uh, and she. 658 00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:20,160 Speaker 2: Was the girls. 659 00:33:20,880 --> 00:33:23,600 Speaker 1: So that is a little bit weird. But I don't 660 00:33:23,640 --> 00:33:29,600 Speaker 1: think like just traveling with them by itself. 661 00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:29,600 Speaker 2: Is like that. 662 00:33:30,120 --> 00:33:31,440 Speaker 1: I get that, you know what I'm saying, Like, I 663 00:33:31,440 --> 00:33:33,280 Speaker 1: think he was a little bit weird, but. 664 00:33:33,360 --> 00:33:38,360 Speaker 5: Just that mentioning some names, Hey, yeah, you know Maria 665 00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:40,560 Speaker 5: and ham Maria are coming with me. 666 00:33:41,080 --> 00:33:43,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, I probably. I think it would have been more 667 00:33:43,240 --> 00:33:44,880 Speaker 1: respectful if he said it immediately. 668 00:33:45,280 --> 00:33:47,280 Speaker 2: Yes, there we go, That's what I'm looking for. 669 00:33:47,400 --> 00:33:49,800 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah. I then asked if he was going to 670 00:33:49,840 --> 00:33:51,680 Speaker 1: be with them for the rest of his vacation, and 671 00:33:51,720 --> 00:33:54,239 Speaker 1: he said yes. I told him that this made me 672 00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:57,760 Speaker 1: feel really uncomfortable. He told me it was nothing to 673 00:33:57,800 --> 00:34:00,440 Speaker 1: worry about, and that this was hostile culture, which I 674 00:34:00,440 --> 00:34:03,080 Speaker 1: would not understand because I've never stayed at a hostel. 675 00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:06,760 Speaker 1: I told him I did understand, and I had never 676 00:34:06,840 --> 00:34:10,040 Speaker 1: had any reservations about him meeting people at hostels and 677 00:34:10,080 --> 00:34:12,920 Speaker 1: hanging out with them before. But I had an issue 678 00:34:12,920 --> 00:34:15,839 Speaker 1: with him meeting two girls at a hostel and then 679 00:34:15,920 --> 00:34:17,719 Speaker 1: planning out the rest of his trip with them when 680 00:34:17,719 --> 00:34:21,160 Speaker 1: this was supposed to be a solo trip. Okay, I like, 681 00:34:21,280 --> 00:34:25,200 Speaker 1: I see where he's coming from. But also, like so 682 00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:28,640 Speaker 1: many of my friends who have done solo trips, meet 683 00:34:28,719 --> 00:34:32,080 Speaker 1: people along. Like one of my close friends that I 684 00:34:32,239 --> 00:34:37,120 Speaker 1: met while traveling in hostels, she ended up meeting me 685 00:34:37,160 --> 00:34:40,719 Speaker 1: in multiple places. It's my friend Jada, and she ended 686 00:34:40,760 --> 00:34:42,800 Speaker 1: up meeting me and like, we like planned our trip 687 00:34:43,280 --> 00:34:45,720 Speaker 1: so that we could meet up. And this also happened 688 00:34:45,760 --> 00:34:47,839 Speaker 1: with like other male friends that I made along the way. 689 00:34:48,080 --> 00:34:50,680 Speaker 5: Just because it's a solo trip doesn't mean to be 690 00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:52,799 Speaker 5: solo forever time. 691 00:34:52,960 --> 00:34:56,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not like you're I don't know, like in silence. 692 00:34:56,520 --> 00:35:01,160 Speaker 1: It's not a like original wool trip solar retreat that. 693 00:35:01,360 --> 00:35:03,680 Speaker 1: He asked me if I was threatened, and I told 694 00:35:03,760 --> 00:35:06,480 Speaker 1: him it was not about feeling threatened. I just did 695 00:35:06,480 --> 00:35:08,640 Speaker 1: not like it, and it had nothing to do with 696 00:35:08,680 --> 00:35:11,759 Speaker 1: my confidence in myself. I can dislike something and still 697 00:35:11,800 --> 00:35:15,200 Speaker 1: feel great about myself. At the same time, I reiterated 698 00:35:15,200 --> 00:35:17,160 Speaker 1: that it was not cool with me and decided to 699 00:35:17,200 --> 00:35:19,840 Speaker 1: move on. In the conversation, I told myself it was 700 00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:22,560 Speaker 1: okay and that I did trust him and I could 701 00:35:22,560 --> 00:35:24,160 Speaker 1: just think of it like he was traveling with two 702 00:35:24,160 --> 00:35:27,040 Speaker 1: other people. Well, I mean, that's that's what he's doing 703 00:35:27,120 --> 00:35:30,719 Speaker 1: so far. The next day, he messaged me and told 704 00:35:30,760 --> 00:35:34,560 Speaker 1: me he got a really nice suite. He said it 705 00:35:34,600 --> 00:35:36,800 Speaker 1: was an ocean front suite and that he was excited 706 00:35:36,800 --> 00:35:40,799 Speaker 1: to check in. He had a few hours to lie 707 00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:42,480 Speaker 1: before he could check in, but said he would call 708 00:35:42,520 --> 00:35:42,920 Speaker 1: me later. 709 00:35:43,239 --> 00:35:45,080 Speaker 2: Hopefully he's by himself here, right. 710 00:35:45,360 --> 00:35:51,359 Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. Later that night, when 711 00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:53,279 Speaker 1: we were talking on the phone, he told me it 712 00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:56,000 Speaker 1: was a really nice place and a two story ocean 713 00:35:56,040 --> 00:35:59,839 Speaker 1: front suite. I told him I would love to see 714 00:35:59,840 --> 00:36:01,680 Speaker 1: it and asked if he could show it to me 715 00:36:01,719 --> 00:36:06,760 Speaker 1: on FaceTime. He hesitated and then said there was someone downstairs. 716 00:36:07,480 --> 00:36:10,200 Speaker 1: I was confused because he was at a hotel, so 717 00:36:10,239 --> 00:36:13,279 Speaker 1: I asked who was staying with him. He said it 718 00:36:13,360 --> 00:36:16,080 Speaker 1: was the girls from the days prior. I told him 719 00:36:16,080 --> 00:36:18,879 Speaker 1: it was one thing for him to travel alongside them, 720 00:36:19,080 --> 00:36:22,000 Speaker 1: but a totally different thing to share a hotel room 721 00:36:22,040 --> 00:36:24,560 Speaker 1: with them. He told me it was a big deal 722 00:36:24,600 --> 00:36:26,759 Speaker 1: because they were on a different floor than him. He 723 00:36:26,840 --> 00:36:29,720 Speaker 1: told me I didn't understand because this was hostile culture. 724 00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:32,759 Speaker 1: You can't use that as your excuse for everything. 725 00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:34,400 Speaker 2: We're not in a hostile anymore. 726 00:36:34,480 --> 00:36:37,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, you're at a hotel now. He's like, no, He's like, 727 00:36:37,160 --> 00:36:40,399 Speaker 1: he's at He gets back to the wherever they live 728 00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:43,120 Speaker 1: and he's like, like, she finds him cheating with a 729 00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:46,480 Speaker 1: girl and he's like, no, no, babe, it's hostile culture. 730 00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:47,640 Speaker 2: You don't get it. 731 00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:51,480 Speaker 1: I don't understand we're sharing a bed because it's hostile culture. 732 00:36:52,080 --> 00:36:53,120 Speaker 2: My gosh. 733 00:36:53,280 --> 00:36:55,960 Speaker 1: I said staying in a hostel was different because there 734 00:36:55,960 --> 00:36:58,640 Speaker 1: are more than three people there, and he said not always. 735 00:36:58,920 --> 00:36:59,440 Speaker 1: What does that mean? 736 00:37:00,160 --> 00:37:01,800 Speaker 2: Not always? Something could always happen. 737 00:37:01,960 --> 00:37:05,040 Speaker 1: Yeah, sometimes I've already slept with just them in the 738 00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:08,239 Speaker 1: same room. I told him that regardless, this was inappropriate 739 00:37:08,320 --> 00:37:10,640 Speaker 1: and that he was crossing a big boundary with me. 740 00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:13,399 Speaker 1: We talked about his plans the next day of going 741 00:37:13,440 --> 00:37:15,719 Speaker 1: storkling and fishing, and I asked if they would be 742 00:37:15,760 --> 00:37:16,120 Speaker 1: going with. 743 00:37:16,120 --> 00:37:18,360 Speaker 2: Him too, and he said yes, buddy. 744 00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:21,160 Speaker 1: From there, we talked for a few more minutes and 745 00:37:21,200 --> 00:37:23,920 Speaker 1: then said good night. Since then, I have had a 746 00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,839 Speaker 1: sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. This just 747 00:37:26,920 --> 00:37:29,200 Speaker 1: does not sit right with me, and I'm hoping people 748 00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:32,719 Speaker 1: familiar with this hostile culture can give me some clarity. 749 00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:35,319 Speaker 1: I was okay with him traveling with them in an 750 00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:38,200 Speaker 1: uber to get to the same place. I was not okay, 751 00:37:38,239 --> 00:37:40,960 Speaker 1: but let it go when he decided to continue traveling 752 00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:43,799 Speaker 1: with them on a trip that was initially solo. But 753 00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:46,040 Speaker 1: I feel like them staying in the same hotel room 754 00:37:46,560 --> 00:37:50,280 Speaker 1: is the thing I cannot get past. Additionally, it also 755 00:37:50,360 --> 00:37:52,760 Speaker 1: bothers me that the reason we do not travel together 756 00:37:52,880 --> 00:37:55,960 Speaker 1: right now is because he says he doesn't want to 757 00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:58,440 Speaker 1: travel with me until we're engaged or married. 758 00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:00,000 Speaker 5: Because when you're engaged, Mary, you have to share room, 759 00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:02,200 Speaker 5: and he probably has like this thing where like he 760 00:38:02,200 --> 00:38:03,680 Speaker 5: doesn't want to share room with someone because he's not 761 00:38:03,719 --> 00:38:04,920 Speaker 5: engaging marriage to them. 762 00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:08,280 Speaker 1: That's kind of wild. He says that if we travel together, 763 00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:10,799 Speaker 1: we would make all these memories, and if we ever 764 00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:12,360 Speaker 1: broke up, these memories would. 765 00:38:12,200 --> 00:38:13,600 Speaker 2: Be troublesome for him. 766 00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:18,600 Speaker 1: That is the most ridiculous reason for not wanting to 767 00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:21,040 Speaker 1: travel with your partner that I've ever heard. 768 00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:23,960 Speaker 6: I don't you know why, because he probably has like 769 00:38:24,000 --> 00:38:26,520 Speaker 6: a little like timetable because he's like, all right, once 770 00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:29,000 Speaker 6: I'm done with my free single trip or my fun, 771 00:38:29,320 --> 00:38:32,360 Speaker 6: my fun solo trip, I actually have op to go 772 00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:35,480 Speaker 6: back to that. But if OPI breaks up with him, 773 00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:39,720 Speaker 6: which OPI might, He's like, oh, but I can't extend 774 00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:40,280 Speaker 6: my trip. 775 00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:42,040 Speaker 2: I didn't know I would have. 776 00:38:42,239 --> 00:38:44,080 Speaker 6: I wouldn't have ended it. Yeah, I would have just 777 00:38:44,640 --> 00:38:46,280 Speaker 6: stayed out here as long as possible. 778 00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:48,439 Speaker 2: Oh my god, this guy stinks. 779 00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:51,080 Speaker 1: I have a completely different take and think we should 780 00:38:51,120 --> 00:38:55,080 Speaker 1: live life and experience new things together. Yeah. Nonetheless, he 781 00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:57,360 Speaker 1: is not comfortable with that right now, and that's okay. 782 00:38:57,840 --> 00:38:59,520 Speaker 1: But then he's willing to plan the rest of this 783 00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:01,840 Speaker 1: trip with these two girls and make these memories and 784 00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:04,799 Speaker 1: have these ones in a lifetime experiences with them, not 785 00:39:04,960 --> 00:39:06,600 Speaker 1: to mention they've been beach hopping. 786 00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:12,239 Speaker 2: Oh dare you guys in your swim shopping? Ah? 787 00:39:12,880 --> 00:39:15,160 Speaker 1: And I cannot get past the fact that he's just 788 00:39:15,360 --> 00:39:19,000 Speaker 1: sunbathing on a beach with two girls who are probably 789 00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:20,400 Speaker 1: not fully clothed. 790 00:39:20,560 --> 00:39:23,280 Speaker 6: I would hope they're not fully clothed on a beach. 791 00:39:23,520 --> 00:39:25,560 Speaker 2: Okay, you're disgusting, keel. 792 00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:27,040 Speaker 6: On, everyone gets equal hands. 793 00:39:27,680 --> 00:39:31,120 Speaker 1: Yes, I'm jealous of that fact, and I'm still okay 794 00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:34,000 Speaker 1: moving past it. The only thing holding me back from 795 00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:37,719 Speaker 1: letting everything go is the hotel's day. I just think 796 00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:41,000 Speaker 1: it was too much. Today we talked and he mentioned 797 00:39:41,000 --> 00:39:43,319 Speaker 1: he was going to a city. I googled it to 798 00:39:43,320 --> 00:39:45,439 Speaker 1: look it up because I often try to find cool 799 00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:48,680 Speaker 1: things for him to check out. When I googled it, 800 00:39:48,680 --> 00:39:50,080 Speaker 1: it came up as a resort. 801 00:39:50,719 --> 00:39:54,279 Speaker 2: No, is it the cheater resort? I think so, dude. 802 00:39:55,239 --> 00:39:57,319 Speaker 1: I texted him and said, I tried to look up 803 00:39:57,320 --> 00:40:00,680 Speaker 1: that city and I was confused because it was coming 804 00:40:00,760 --> 00:40:03,560 Speaker 1: up as something else. I told him it was a resort, 805 00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:06,919 Speaker 1: so to access that beach he would need to be staying. 806 00:40:06,640 --> 00:40:07,400 Speaker 2: At the resort. 807 00:40:07,960 --> 00:40:10,080 Speaker 1: He then told me he was planning to get a 808 00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:13,279 Speaker 1: suite there. Doesn't sound like you're doing a lot of 809 00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:18,920 Speaker 1: hostile staying. Yeah, a hostile solo trip. I asked him 810 00:40:18,960 --> 00:40:20,839 Speaker 1: if he was sharing a room with these girls again, 811 00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:25,000 Speaker 1: and he said probably whow. I asked if he was serious, 812 00:40:25,120 --> 00:40:28,640 Speaker 1: and he said he could not promise me. He can't 813 00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:31,640 Speaker 1: promise you if he's serious. I asked him to please not, 814 00:40:31,840 --> 00:40:34,120 Speaker 1: and he said he meant that the possibility of sharing 815 00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:37,719 Speaker 1: a room might happen. I said, I did not understand 816 00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:40,399 Speaker 1: why it needed to happen and why the answer could 817 00:40:40,400 --> 00:40:42,200 Speaker 1: not just be no, he would not. 818 00:40:43,120 --> 00:40:43,840 Speaker 2: He said it did not. 819 00:40:44,040 --> 00:40:45,719 Speaker 1: Need to happen, but it might. 820 00:40:46,600 --> 00:40:49,359 Speaker 2: Oroh this guy sucks spraak up with him. 821 00:40:49,640 --> 00:40:51,439 Speaker 1: I told him that the fact he could not make 822 00:40:51,480 --> 00:40:54,000 Speaker 1: the boundary and could not say it would not happen 823 00:40:54,640 --> 00:40:57,680 Speaker 1: says a lot. You ask what it said. At the 824 00:40:57,719 --> 00:41:00,440 Speaker 1: time of that conversation, it was about twelve a for 825 00:41:00,520 --> 00:41:04,960 Speaker 1: me and twelve pm for him. Well, y'all got a 826 00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:07,920 Speaker 1: big time difference. I did not reply to that text 827 00:41:07,920 --> 00:41:10,400 Speaker 1: because I did not want the back and forth to escalate, 828 00:41:11,080 --> 00:41:13,600 Speaker 1: especially because he's on vacation, and I didn't want to 829 00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:14,480 Speaker 1: get more upset. 830 00:41:14,719 --> 00:41:16,440 Speaker 2: Dude, you're a very kind person. 831 00:41:17,960 --> 00:41:20,320 Speaker 1: We have not spoken since then. I really do not 832 00:41:20,440 --> 00:41:22,720 Speaker 1: want to hinder his vacation, so I think I should 833 00:41:22,719 --> 00:41:26,240 Speaker 1: not push our conversation any further. I have not gotten 834 00:41:26,280 --> 00:41:29,279 Speaker 1: overly upset, I have not raised my voice, and I've 835 00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:32,520 Speaker 1: been patient and understanding all the way through. It hurt 836 00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:34,640 Speaker 1: my feelings that when I asked if they were staying 837 00:41:34,640 --> 00:41:38,800 Speaker 1: in the same suite again, he said probably, even after 838 00:41:38,880 --> 00:41:41,880 Speaker 1: I told him how I felt about it that night before. 839 00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:45,040 Speaker 1: It hurt me that when I asked as nicely as 840 00:41:45,080 --> 00:41:50,480 Speaker 1: I could for him not to, He's basically like, no, no. 841 00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:52,560 Speaker 1: But the thing that he said was it wasn't no, 842 00:41:52,760 --> 00:41:55,040 Speaker 1: it was like, yeah, like I could not do that, 843 00:41:55,239 --> 00:41:56,600 Speaker 1: but like I might do it. 844 00:41:57,440 --> 00:41:58,279 Speaker 2: Why, which is. 845 00:41:58,239 --> 00:41:58,880 Speaker 1: Worse to me? 846 00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:01,200 Speaker 2: Why, dude, I don't understand it. 847 00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:03,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, I think I think if you just said like no, 848 00:42:03,640 --> 00:42:05,799 Speaker 1: you know, like I'm not like I am gonna do this. 849 00:42:05,880 --> 00:42:08,879 Speaker 1: I'm sorry, but like this is I'm gonna do it, 850 00:42:09,520 --> 00:42:12,360 Speaker 1: that is bad. Still bad, but I think it's a 851 00:42:12,360 --> 00:42:15,520 Speaker 1: little better than yeah, like I could not do that, 852 00:42:16,200 --> 00:42:18,360 Speaker 1: but I I think I might do it anyway. 853 00:42:18,600 --> 00:42:21,480 Speaker 5: Just respect of boundaries, Yeah, put not a boundary and 854 00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:22,759 Speaker 5: you're like whatever, dude. 855 00:42:22,560 --> 00:42:25,040 Speaker 1: You're like, I'm just gonna tip that over. 856 00:42:26,440 --> 00:42:26,880 Speaker 2: Just say no. 857 00:42:27,960 --> 00:42:31,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, I would like to add that he is not 858 00:42:31,280 --> 00:42:34,080 Speaker 1: sharing suits with these girls out of financial need. 859 00:42:34,600 --> 00:42:35,040 Speaker 2: Yeah. 860 00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:38,200 Speaker 1: I figure that out, seeing as he's affording the suits 861 00:42:38,200 --> 00:42:38,800 Speaker 1: in the first place. 862 00:42:38,840 --> 00:42:40,279 Speaker 2: So he just went to the hospital to pick up 863 00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:41,040 Speaker 2: some girls. I think. 864 00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:44,799 Speaker 1: So, my boyfriend is financially comfortable and would have no 865 00:42:44,920 --> 00:42:47,040 Speaker 1: problem getting a hotel room for himself. 866 00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:49,759 Speaker 5: The fact that he was lying, and we all know 867 00:42:49,840 --> 00:42:56,719 Speaker 5: what cheeters do lying, that's the Yeah. I just you 868 00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:59,160 Speaker 5: for your own self. Just break up or you can 869 00:42:59,160 --> 00:43:01,839 Speaker 5: stay with them until he gets back. Yeah, and then 870 00:43:01,880 --> 00:43:03,880 Speaker 5: break up with him. That's true, and then he's deemed 871 00:43:03,880 --> 00:43:07,720 Speaker 5: a cheater. Yeah, he probably did stuff, probably already. 872 00:43:08,560 --> 00:43:10,600 Speaker 1: I think I should reflect on this and talk to 873 00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:13,000 Speaker 1: him a little after he comes back. If I cannot 874 00:43:13,000 --> 00:43:15,040 Speaker 1: make sense of it and come to terms with it 875 00:43:15,080 --> 00:43:18,200 Speaker 1: on my own. I am reaching out to see what 876 00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:21,120 Speaker 1: the good people of the internet think, and I am 877 00:43:21,160 --> 00:43:24,560 Speaker 1: open to having people put me in my place if 878 00:43:24,640 --> 00:43:28,719 Speaker 1: I am wrong, or reassuring me that my reservations are reasonable. 879 00:43:29,320 --> 00:43:33,760 Speaker 2: So am I the a whole to your show? Yes? 880 00:43:33,960 --> 00:43:38,279 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true, But but what based on what you're 881 00:43:38,320 --> 00:43:42,720 Speaker 1: asking us? No comment one says not, You're not wrong 882 00:43:42,800 --> 00:43:46,040 Speaker 1: at all. Hostile culture doesn't mean getting private suites with 883 00:43:46,120 --> 00:43:49,359 Speaker 1: two random girls for a whole week. Lmail, the fact 884 00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:52,640 Speaker 1: that he won't travel with you because of memories if 885 00:43:52,680 --> 00:43:56,080 Speaker 1: you break up, but he's out here making memories with 886 00:43:56,200 --> 00:44:00,880 Speaker 1: these girls is honestly wild lest the whole I can't 887 00:44:00,920 --> 00:44:05,040 Speaker 1: promise response when you asked him not to share rooms again. 888 00:44:05,640 --> 00:44:08,799 Speaker 1: He's basically telling you his vacation with these girls is 889 00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:12,920 Speaker 1: more important than your comfort in the relationship. Opie said, Yeah, 890 00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:15,399 Speaker 1: that's exactly what it feels like. It hurts a lot 891 00:44:15,480 --> 00:44:17,439 Speaker 1: to know that they get to spend this much time 892 00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:20,839 Speaker 1: with him and make these memories with him, doing not 893 00:44:20,920 --> 00:44:23,279 Speaker 1: only once in a lifetime things, but doing things he's 894 00:44:23,320 --> 00:44:25,960 Speaker 1: never done before and are on his bucket list. I 895 00:44:25,960 --> 00:44:28,040 Speaker 1: would love to cross things off with him, and would 896 00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:30,200 Speaker 1: be ready to get up and go anywhere with him 897 00:44:30,239 --> 00:44:33,160 Speaker 1: in less than a second if he asked. I just 898 00:44:33,200 --> 00:44:35,880 Speaker 1: can't see how I can get past this, especially because 899 00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:38,919 Speaker 1: it's one thing to do something that hasn't been explicitly 900 00:44:38,960 --> 00:44:41,839 Speaker 1: pointed out as crossing a boundary, not that I would 901 00:44:41,840 --> 00:44:44,319 Speaker 1: think this would need to be stated, but then just 902 00:44:44,400 --> 00:44:47,200 Speaker 1: being like, yeah, I'll probably. 903 00:44:46,800 --> 00:44:47,440 Speaker 2: Do it again. 904 00:44:48,280 --> 00:44:53,000 Speaker 1: I even tried asking nicely and said please. Yeah, I 905 00:44:53,000 --> 00:44:57,040 Speaker 1: think op, you did everything right in this scenario of 906 00:44:57,080 --> 00:44:58,040 Speaker 1: how to ask him. 907 00:44:58,160 --> 00:45:02,240 Speaker 5: Yeah, he just doesn't respect you, yeah, or the relationship. 908 00:45:02,360 --> 00:45:03,480 Speaker 2: Goodness, gracious. 909 00:45:03,800 --> 00:45:06,960 Speaker 1: It just feels really weird because if he were saying, 910 00:45:07,120 --> 00:45:08,600 Speaker 1: I don't want to travel with you because I don't 911 00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:12,439 Speaker 1: feel comfortable sharing a you know, minor or a room, 912 00:45:12,680 --> 00:45:15,200 Speaker 1: that's what That's what I thought he was gonna say. Yeah, Like, 913 00:45:15,280 --> 00:45:18,239 Speaker 1: I'm like religious and for this reason I can't share 914 00:45:18,239 --> 00:45:24,000 Speaker 1: a room. But memories, stupid, stupid reason. He creates memories 915 00:45:24,040 --> 00:45:27,200 Speaker 1: every time he's with you, hopefully unless he's like forgetting them. 916 00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:30,560 Speaker 1: He like blank blacks out every time he stinks down 917 00:45:30,600 --> 00:45:35,000 Speaker 1: with you, Like, wait, what happened? Comment too, where is 918 00:45:35,040 --> 00:45:37,759 Speaker 1: the solo part in this trip? Now you know why 919 00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:40,360 Speaker 1: he doesn't want you to travel with him. You'll cramp 920 00:45:40,400 --> 00:45:44,000 Speaker 1: his style. Go radio silent, be too busy to answer 921 00:45:44,000 --> 00:45:46,640 Speaker 1: his messages. Hope he says, that's what I might do. 922 00:45:46,920 --> 00:45:49,880 Speaker 1: Take some time and really let this sink in for me. 923 00:45:51,360 --> 00:45:52,880 Speaker 2: Get it. Because he travels on boats. 924 00:45:54,760 --> 00:45:57,040 Speaker 1: Is he traveling in a boat? No, he could be. 925 00:45:57,400 --> 00:45:59,640 Speaker 1: He could be taking a cruise with these two girls 926 00:46:00,000 --> 00:46:01,320 Speaker 1: that losing. 927 00:46:00,960 --> 00:46:05,399 Speaker 2: Around the and that's the end of this story. We're 928 00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:08,160 Speaker 2: gonna go on to the next one. Hey, it's Angie, 929 00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:11,719 Speaker 2: your favorite Riley's girlfriend. Hose here we're going to get 930 00:46:11,760 --> 00:46:12,440 Speaker 2: back to the stories. 931 00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:14,719 Speaker 1: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. 932 00:46:15,640 --> 00:46:19,400 Speaker 2: My neighbor insists someone had been inside my home, but 933 00:46:19,640 --> 00:46:22,200 Speaker 2: the camera picked up nothing. Why are they looking in 934 00:46:22,280 --> 00:46:24,160 Speaker 2: your home? I don't know what to make of this. 935 00:46:24,520 --> 00:46:28,759 Speaker 2: The simplest answer is that my neighbor is lying. But why. 936 00:46:29,320 --> 00:46:31,880 Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from the next Missus Draper 937 00:46:32,320 --> 00:46:34,560 Speaker 2: and if you want to submit your own stories, go 938 00:46:34,560 --> 00:46:37,920 Speaker 2: to the r slash Showcase Storytime Suburn. I'm Dakota, I'm Riley, 939 00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:41,440 Speaker 2: I'm Carly, and we're here to give good advice goofy 940 00:46:41,760 --> 00:46:45,160 Speaker 2: and we will try our best. But we're not experts, 941 00:46:45,480 --> 00:46:49,120 Speaker 2: nor are we geniuses. We are simply humble folk of 942 00:46:49,200 --> 00:46:51,799 Speaker 2: the screen. And let us know the things that you 943 00:46:51,920 --> 00:46:55,320 Speaker 2: know out there in the comments. Here's what happened this morning. 944 00:46:55,360 --> 00:46:57,759 Speaker 2: My neighbor knocked on my door and told me that 945 00:46:57,800 --> 00:47:00,200 Speaker 2: while I was out of town earlier this month, they 946 00:47:00,239 --> 00:47:03,080 Speaker 2: noticed my front door was open and that if very 947 00:47:03,239 --> 00:47:06,800 Speaker 2: nice blue and brown two person tent had been pitched 948 00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:09,080 Speaker 2: in the middle of my living room. They said they 949 00:47:09,120 --> 00:47:11,799 Speaker 2: thought it was a little odd, and that's why they 950 00:47:11,880 --> 00:47:14,640 Speaker 2: mentioned it. I was on vacation over the fourth of July, 951 00:47:14,800 --> 00:47:18,439 Speaker 2: and my nephew and another neighbor both fed my cat 952 00:47:18,480 --> 00:47:20,840 Speaker 2: while I was gone. Neither are the type to pitch 953 00:47:20,880 --> 00:47:23,520 Speaker 2: a tent in my living room, though, to be honest, 954 00:47:23,640 --> 00:47:26,719 Speaker 2: I'm not sure who would do such a thing. Nevertheless, 955 00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:30,000 Speaker 2: I asked them about the tent, and neither knew anything 956 00:47:30,000 --> 00:47:32,680 Speaker 2: about it. I also don't have anything that's blue and 957 00:47:32,760 --> 00:47:35,439 Speaker 2: brown and could be mistaken for a tent. My living 958 00:47:35,520 --> 00:47:38,279 Speaker 2: room is mostly black and white, and I don't own 959 00:47:38,320 --> 00:47:41,680 Speaker 2: a tent. I'm not a camper. Nobody has a set 960 00:47:41,680 --> 00:47:43,919 Speaker 2: of keys to my house. I have an r low 961 00:47:44,000 --> 00:47:46,200 Speaker 2: camera by my front door, and I set one up 962 00:47:46,200 --> 00:47:48,040 Speaker 2: in my living room while I was gone so that 963 00:47:48,080 --> 00:47:50,400 Speaker 2: I could periodically check in on the cat. I'm a 964 00:47:50,400 --> 00:47:53,960 Speaker 2: little neurotic about her because she is very old. I 965 00:47:54,040 --> 00:47:56,480 Speaker 2: checked all the footage going back to June fourth, because 966 00:47:56,520 --> 00:47:59,600 Speaker 2: my neighbor couldn't say for certain when exactly they saw 967 00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:04,399 Speaker 2: this tent. Needless to say, there's nothing captured by either camera. Unfortunately, 968 00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:07,640 Speaker 2: the cameras sometimes fail to capture everything. I'd say they 969 00:48:07,680 --> 00:48:09,759 Speaker 2: have a ten to twenty percent fail rate when it 970 00:48:09,760 --> 00:48:12,840 Speaker 2: comes to turning in when there's movement. So there's a 971 00:48:12,880 --> 00:48:15,680 Speaker 2: slight possibility someone could have entered my house, pitched a tent, 972 00:48:15,800 --> 00:48:17,920 Speaker 2: taken it down, and left and the cameras wouldn't have 973 00:48:18,000 --> 00:48:21,160 Speaker 2: caught any of it. Bro, you need new cameras if 974 00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:25,880 Speaker 2: that's even a potential. If you're indoors, there's no need 975 00:48:25,920 --> 00:48:28,640 Speaker 2: to pitch a tent. Well, maybe they just wanted to 976 00:48:28,680 --> 00:48:31,160 Speaker 2: like have a fun camping, you know, camping role play, 977 00:48:31,280 --> 00:48:34,600 Speaker 2: camping cosplay. Maybe again, they thought it was a rule 978 00:48:34,600 --> 00:48:36,799 Speaker 2: where it's like if you break into someone's house to 979 00:48:37,080 --> 00:48:39,799 Speaker 2: squat there, but you bring your own tent and you 980 00:48:39,840 --> 00:48:42,320 Speaker 2: don't sleep in their bed and you leave the front 981 00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:45,719 Speaker 2: door open the whole time. Legally, there's nothing they can 982 00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:48,560 Speaker 2: do that exists somewhere. Like I said at the beginning 983 00:48:48,600 --> 00:48:50,400 Speaker 2: of the story, I'm not an expert in anything, but 984 00:48:50,480 --> 00:48:53,040 Speaker 2: that feels like it's right to me. I feel like 985 00:48:53,200 --> 00:48:56,240 Speaker 2: it's a pretty slim chance that neither would have been triggered. 986 00:48:56,360 --> 00:48:58,640 Speaker 2: To add to all of this, my cat has been 987 00:48:58,680 --> 00:49:01,400 Speaker 2: acting super strange whore ever since I came back she 988 00:49:01,560 --> 00:49:04,360 Speaker 2: is very nervous, refuses to go anywhere near the back 989 00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:07,240 Speaker 2: part of the house, and is not using her litter box, 990 00:49:07,600 --> 00:49:10,279 Speaker 2: so something did weird her out. So read it any 991 00:49:10,320 --> 00:49:13,040 Speaker 2: ideas if my neighbor is lying, which is the most 992 00:49:13,040 --> 00:49:16,279 Speaker 2: plausible why they've never lied before and always seemed like 993 00:49:16,280 --> 00:49:18,600 Speaker 2: a reliable narrator. They also said their boyfriend saw it 994 00:49:18,600 --> 00:49:20,839 Speaker 2: too and mentioned how weird it was. Is there any 995 00:49:20,840 --> 00:49:23,000 Speaker 2: scenario where it makes sense for someone to break in 996 00:49:23,040 --> 00:49:24,879 Speaker 2: and pitch a tent, but also leave the door open 997 00:49:24,880 --> 00:49:28,080 Speaker 2: so anyone can see. Is it a glitch in the matrix? No, 998 00:49:28,360 --> 00:49:32,160 Speaker 2: just the legal system. Is she somehow suffering from carbon 999 00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:36,640 Speaker 2: monoxide poisoning? Am? I? Thankfully the r low camera outside 1000 00:49:36,680 --> 00:49:39,880 Speaker 2: did capture part of our conversation, so I didn't completely 1001 00:49:40,040 --> 00:49:44,080 Speaker 2: imagine it. It's just so bizarre, at a complete loss, 1002 00:49:44,160 --> 00:49:46,799 Speaker 2: and the whole thing has left me feeling unsettled, and 1003 00:49:46,840 --> 00:49:49,399 Speaker 2: there isn't edit. Thanks to everyone who's commented so far. 1004 00:49:49,640 --> 00:49:52,080 Speaker 2: To answer some questions that seemed to have come up. 1005 00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:54,160 Speaker 2: I took the cat to the vet and she got 1006 00:49:54,160 --> 00:49:56,760 Speaker 2: a clean bill of health. I'm trying some behavioral solutions, 1007 00:49:56,800 --> 00:49:59,960 Speaker 2: including multiple litter pans, special cat food, for your area health, 1008 00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:03,880 Speaker 2: both calming cat treats, calming spray and a fellaway plug in. 1009 00:50:04,200 --> 00:50:07,279 Speaker 2: It's been hard, but I'm committed to helping her get 1010 00:50:07,320 --> 00:50:09,640 Speaker 2: through this. The neighbor and her boyfriend are both older, 1011 00:50:09,800 --> 00:50:12,799 Speaker 2: I think in their late sixties, and we live on 1012 00:50:12,840 --> 00:50:15,160 Speaker 2: the same property, so she has to walk by my 1013 00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:17,200 Speaker 2: front door to get to the street. I'd say from 1014 00:50:17,239 --> 00:50:20,240 Speaker 2: the walkway to my front door is less than five feet, 1015 00:50:20,400 --> 00:50:22,640 Speaker 2: so she has a pretty good view of my living room. 1016 00:50:22,719 --> 00:50:25,400 Speaker 2: I agree with those who said her timing is strange. 1017 00:50:25,800 --> 00:50:29,399 Speaker 2: Why mention it weeks later? But I had recently talked 1018 00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:31,560 Speaker 2: to her about my cat's behavior, so I think she 1019 00:50:31,680 --> 00:50:34,959 Speaker 2: mentioned it as a possible reason. She also said maybe 1020 00:50:35,000 --> 00:50:37,000 Speaker 2: in the future, you should let me know you'll be 1021 00:50:37,040 --> 00:50:39,319 Speaker 2: out of town so I can keep an eye out 1022 00:50:39,360 --> 00:50:41,680 Speaker 2: for you. At the time, it sounded like a normal 1023 00:50:41,680 --> 00:50:44,640 Speaker 2: thing to say, but if she's lying, then maybe it's 1024 00:50:44,640 --> 00:50:47,720 Speaker 2: because she wants to know when I'm gone. My nephew 1025 00:50:48,000 --> 00:50:51,280 Speaker 2: is in his mid twenties and very responsible. He owns 1026 00:50:51,320 --> 00:50:54,600 Speaker 2: his own home and works long days. Neither he nor 1027 00:50:54,600 --> 00:50:56,719 Speaker 2: his brother are campers, and as far as I know, 1028 00:50:56,920 --> 00:50:59,920 Speaker 2: don't own any tents. The camera outside captured him enter 1029 00:51:00,160 --> 00:51:02,319 Speaker 2: and exiting all three days, and he was in the 1030 00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:04,600 Speaker 2: house for less than five minutes. Same with the other 1031 00:51:04,640 --> 00:51:06,839 Speaker 2: neighbor who fed the cat. Neither was aware of where 1032 00:51:06,880 --> 00:51:09,359 Speaker 2: the camera inside was, but they knew I had one 1033 00:51:09,440 --> 00:51:11,680 Speaker 2: so I could check the cat. The camera also caught 1034 00:51:11,760 --> 00:51:14,200 Speaker 2: the cat chilling in the house and acting normally on 1035 00:51:14,280 --> 00:51:18,840 Speaker 2: all three days. Today I learned about frogging or frogging. 1036 00:51:19,080 --> 00:51:21,440 Speaker 2: There's a crawl space under the house, but you can't 1037 00:51:21,480 --> 00:51:24,800 Speaker 2: access it from inside. Oh my gosh, Oh my gosh, 1038 00:51:24,960 --> 00:51:27,840 Speaker 2: someone's living under the floors. Oh my gosh. There's probably 1039 00:51:27,840 --> 00:51:30,160 Speaker 2: a two foot high crawl space in the ceiling that 1040 00:51:30,200 --> 00:51:32,480 Speaker 2: you can access from the closet in my bedroom. But 1041 00:51:32,520 --> 00:51:34,799 Speaker 2: I have a bunch of boxes and suitcases shoved up 1042 00:51:34,840 --> 00:51:37,399 Speaker 2: against the opening, and I don't see how someone could 1043 00:51:37,400 --> 00:51:39,919 Speaker 2: put them back if they'd crawled back in. I will 1044 00:51:39,960 --> 00:51:42,360 Speaker 2: say that the more I ruminate on it, the creepier 1045 00:51:42,480 --> 00:51:45,600 Speaker 2: it seems. And there's an update from three days later. 1046 00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:48,759 Speaker 2: Riley is someone living in her walls? Yes, Carly, are 1047 00:51:48,800 --> 00:51:50,280 Speaker 2: you living in Sofia's walls? 1048 00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:51,160 Speaker 3: I'm the mouse. 1049 00:51:51,680 --> 00:51:53,839 Speaker 2: He nibbled the banana in the middle of the night, 1050 00:51:55,000 --> 00:51:58,600 Speaker 2: trying to catch. Yeah, that's hilarious. The funniest thing to 1051 00:51:58,640 --> 00:52:02,399 Speaker 2: me is that she's just using the glue trap and 1052 00:52:02,440 --> 00:52:04,440 Speaker 2: then it's like the food on it is just getting 1053 00:52:04,480 --> 00:52:05,600 Speaker 2: nibbled and not catching them. 1054 00:52:06,080 --> 00:52:08,520 Speaker 1: The funniest thing to me is her door barricade. 1055 00:52:08,840 --> 00:52:11,759 Speaker 2: Have you seen just get guys, sorry to all the 1056 00:52:11,800 --> 00:52:16,279 Speaker 2: mouse lovers out there, get a freaking mouse trap with it. 1057 00:52:16,360 --> 00:52:16,680 Speaker 2: She did. 1058 00:52:16,719 --> 00:52:18,000 Speaker 3: She got a zap one. 1059 00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:20,399 Speaker 2: But don't get a zap one. Get the spring that goes. 1060 00:52:21,120 --> 00:52:22,280 Speaker 2: That doesn't work? Yeah it does. 1061 00:52:22,400 --> 00:52:25,959 Speaker 5: I don't think I'm a mouse catching I'm a mouse 1062 00:52:25,960 --> 00:52:29,279 Speaker 5: catching expert. Those those don't work as effectively as the 1063 00:52:29,280 --> 00:52:32,239 Speaker 5: glue ones. I've caught three mice within the span of 1064 00:52:32,239 --> 00:52:32,600 Speaker 5: my life. 1065 00:52:32,719 --> 00:52:33,359 Speaker 3: You haven't caused. 1066 00:52:33,400 --> 00:52:36,759 Speaker 2: Sophia's blue ones are more messed up than the one 1067 00:52:36,760 --> 00:52:39,520 Speaker 2: that just breaks their neck and explodes their head. 1068 00:52:39,600 --> 00:52:41,359 Speaker 5: Sophia has it going to be permission because she knows 1069 00:52:41,360 --> 00:52:42,640 Speaker 5: what I'll do with it if I catch it, so 1070 00:52:42,960 --> 00:52:43,440 Speaker 5: I offered. 1071 00:52:43,920 --> 00:52:46,799 Speaker 2: She wants it to be cat. Oh she does. Well. 1072 00:52:47,800 --> 00:52:50,360 Speaker 2: She has given up on the human way. She wants gone. 1073 00:52:50,480 --> 00:52:52,919 Speaker 2: I don't think you can just like catch the mouse 1074 00:52:52,960 --> 00:52:55,239 Speaker 2: and then be like be free, and it's guess where 1075 00:52:55,239 --> 00:52:57,600 Speaker 2: it's going to come back back. It's going to come back. 1076 00:52:57,800 --> 00:52:59,000 Speaker 2: I catch it and we put it back in that 1077 00:52:59,040 --> 00:53:02,280 Speaker 2: neighbor's house to all my neighbors again. Today. The neighbor 1078 00:53:02,280 --> 00:53:05,920 Speaker 2: who saw the tent is still adamant that's what she saw. 1079 00:53:05,960 --> 00:53:08,480 Speaker 2: She said she and her boyfriend sought around lunchtime, and 1080 00:53:08,640 --> 00:53:10,759 Speaker 2: he confirmed. They said the tent was up when they 1081 00:53:10,800 --> 00:53:13,200 Speaker 2: went to lunch and down by the time they came back. 1082 00:53:13,280 --> 00:53:15,480 Speaker 2: When I told her my cameras didn't catch anything, she 1083 00:53:15,560 --> 00:53:18,520 Speaker 2: was unbothered. When I suggested that maybe she saw something else, 1084 00:53:18,520 --> 00:53:21,080 Speaker 2: she said, it was not my imagination. I saw a 1085 00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:23,440 Speaker 2: tent from right here, and then she stood on the 1086 00:53:23,440 --> 00:53:26,160 Speaker 2: walkway and pointed into my house. She seems to think 1087 00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:28,480 Speaker 2: someone might have a copy of my key and is 1088 00:53:28,560 --> 00:53:31,520 Speaker 2: accessing my house whenever I'm out of town. She thinks 1089 00:53:31,520 --> 00:53:36,400 Speaker 2: someone sabotaged both cameras, and mentioned black suits that aren't 1090 00:53:36,440 --> 00:53:40,120 Speaker 2: picked up by security cameras as a reason the tent 1091 00:53:40,280 --> 00:53:43,840 Speaker 2: sector wasn't caught. The detail of you being like, yeah, 1092 00:53:43,920 --> 00:53:46,279 Speaker 2: I have cameras and they didn't catch anything and they're 1093 00:53:46,280 --> 00:53:50,120 Speaker 2: completely unbothered does make me think that they are telling 1094 00:53:50,120 --> 00:53:53,120 Speaker 2: the truth, though, because if you're a crazy person trying to, 1095 00:53:53,160 --> 00:53:55,560 Speaker 2: I don't know, convince someone that someone camped in their house. 1096 00:53:56,000 --> 00:53:58,920 Speaker 2: I think that would make you go u uh oh 1097 00:53:59,280 --> 00:54:02,359 Speaker 2: uh uh instead of just like, oh well, I mean 1098 00:54:02,760 --> 00:54:05,760 Speaker 2: regardless of that, I know what I saw, Like, I don't. 1099 00:54:05,560 --> 00:54:07,640 Speaker 5: Know, misus ryser says, I feel like there's too many 1100 00:54:07,680 --> 00:54:09,120 Speaker 5: variables that make it unlikely. 1101 00:54:09,360 --> 00:54:12,759 Speaker 3: Yes, why is the boyfriend like agreeing with her? 1102 00:54:12,960 --> 00:54:16,359 Speaker 2: Oh wait wait, it wasn't a tent like a camping tent. 1103 00:54:16,760 --> 00:54:19,000 Speaker 2: It was a blue and brown tent that the men 1104 00:54:19,080 --> 00:54:21,920 Speaker 2: in black were inside because they were extracting like an 1105 00:54:21,920 --> 00:54:24,960 Speaker 2: alien artifact from beneath the floor, so they had to 1106 00:54:25,040 --> 00:54:27,680 Speaker 2: tent it. So that would be my next question, what 1107 00:54:27,800 --> 00:54:30,440 Speaker 2: movies have you seen recently? To the neighbor. Yeah. She 1108 00:54:30,560 --> 00:54:33,560 Speaker 2: also mentioned that my other neighbor, the one who checked 1109 00:54:33,560 --> 00:54:36,399 Speaker 2: on my cat, had a large white tent in her 1110 00:54:36,520 --> 00:54:39,520 Speaker 2: yard a few months back. I saw that tent and 1111 00:54:39,560 --> 00:54:42,840 Speaker 2: can verify it existed, But this neighbor said that it 1112 00:54:42,960 --> 00:54:45,480 Speaker 2: is not the tent she saw in my house. I 1113 00:54:45,560 --> 00:54:48,279 Speaker 2: rechecked all the camera footage one more time. There are 1114 00:54:48,360 --> 00:54:51,400 Speaker 2: no unaccounted for gaps. In fact, there are several snippets 1115 00:54:51,440 --> 00:54:53,800 Speaker 2: of the cat chilling in the living room looking completely 1116 00:54:53,920 --> 00:54:57,400 Speaker 2: unconcerned before and after the cat sitters came into the house. 1117 00:54:57,560 --> 00:55:00,319 Speaker 2: It's actually making me rethink the timeline of win she 1118 00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:03,800 Speaker 2: got spooked. I rechecked the attic access and it hasn't 1119 00:55:03,840 --> 00:55:06,719 Speaker 2: been touched. I also work from home, so it would 1120 00:55:06,760 --> 00:55:10,080 Speaker 2: be hard for someone squatting in the attic to go unnoticed. 1121 00:55:10,200 --> 00:55:12,560 Speaker 2: I also took the advice here to check internet data 1122 00:55:12,600 --> 00:55:16,040 Speaker 2: and electricity usage. Both were way down on the day 1123 00:55:16,040 --> 00:55:18,719 Speaker 2: as I was gone. My gas bill was smaller as well. 1124 00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:20,640 Speaker 2: But if the tent was up for only an hour, 1125 00:55:20,800 --> 00:55:23,800 Speaker 2: that makes sense. I then spoke with the cat sitting neighbor. 1126 00:55:24,200 --> 00:55:27,280 Speaker 2: She confirmed the existence of her white tent and explained 1127 00:55:27,320 --> 00:55:29,440 Speaker 2: that she was airing it out in her front yard 1128 00:55:29,480 --> 00:55:32,319 Speaker 2: after a camping trip, which aligns with all the tent 1129 00:55:32,440 --> 00:55:36,440 Speaker 2: care information in the comments. Great, we've correlated, We've got 1130 00:55:37,200 --> 00:55:38,600 Speaker 2: I didn't know you had to air out your tent. 1131 00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:42,839 Speaker 2: She also said that she had similar conversations with this 1132 00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:46,360 Speaker 2: neighbor where what she was saying is bizarre and unsettling, 1133 00:55:46,440 --> 00:55:48,959 Speaker 2: but she says it with such conviction that you find 1134 00:55:48,960 --> 00:55:52,200 Speaker 2: it hard not to believe. She understood my unease, saying 1135 00:55:52,200 --> 00:55:54,759 Speaker 2: the whole story reminded her of the Manson family and 1136 00:55:54,800 --> 00:55:58,719 Speaker 2: their creepy crawling. Once she mentioned that possibility, it made 1137 00:55:58,760 --> 00:56:01,760 Speaker 2: me understand why I was feeling so anxious for those 1138 00:56:01,840 --> 00:56:05,040 Speaker 2: worried about my cat's well being. Thank you. She seems 1139 00:56:05,160 --> 00:56:07,960 Speaker 2: to be slowly coming back to herself right now. I'm 1140 00:56:08,000 --> 00:56:09,759 Speaker 2: putting her in the kitchen at night, and she has 1141 00:56:09,800 --> 00:56:12,120 Speaker 2: a cozy little bed where she sleeps. So far, she 1142 00:56:12,160 --> 00:56:14,759 Speaker 2: hasn't peed anywhere inside since I've started doing this, but 1143 00:56:14,800 --> 00:56:17,080 Speaker 2: I do wake up before six every morning to let 1144 00:56:17,080 --> 00:56:19,640 Speaker 2: her out, and she promptly uses the litter pan I 1145 00:56:19,719 --> 00:56:22,000 Speaker 2: have set up for her on the porch. I also 1146 00:56:22,040 --> 00:56:25,200 Speaker 2: started using the urinary health cat food from Royal Canaan 1147 00:56:25,400 --> 00:56:28,480 Speaker 2: that someone suggested on another thread, and that seems to 1148 00:56:28,480 --> 00:56:32,759 Speaker 2: be working. Fingers crossed. Next steps are asking the landlord 1149 00:56:32,960 --> 00:56:35,439 Speaker 2: to change the locks to end on a lighter note. 1150 00:56:35,440 --> 00:56:38,600 Speaker 2: The cat sitting neighbor also had a whimsical explanation not 1151 00:56:38,680 --> 00:56:41,920 Speaker 2: to be taken seriously, that I also thought i'd share. Apparently, 1152 00:56:42,000 --> 00:56:46,280 Speaker 2: there's a Japanese folklore tradition of trickster raccoons who shape 1153 00:56:46,280 --> 00:56:48,880 Speaker 2: shift and reek havoc. She pointed out that it is 1154 00:56:49,080 --> 00:56:52,120 Speaker 2: raccoon season where we live, and in fact, I just 1155 00:56:52,200 --> 00:56:54,520 Speaker 2: saw a mother and her babies on my porch a 1156 00:56:54,560 --> 00:56:59,000 Speaker 2: couple of nights ago. You got trickster shape shift to raccoons, man, right, 1157 00:56:59,400 --> 00:57:02,160 Speaker 2: And they've got keys to your place. Man, you're gonna 1158 00:57:02,239 --> 00:57:04,880 Speaker 2: change those lots. How do we not think of that one? 1159 00:57:05,080 --> 00:57:08,040 Speaker 2: They're gonna eat all your cat food? Man, that totally 1160 00:57:08,080 --> 00:57:11,400 Speaker 2: passed by me. Don't do that, man. Maybe they just 1161 00:57:11,480 --> 00:57:14,160 Speaker 2: snuck in and pitch the tan just to mess with me. 1162 00:57:14,560 --> 00:57:17,400 Speaker 2: I mean, it's as probable as anything else at this point. 1163 00:57:17,440 --> 00:57:22,360 Speaker 2: And there's a third update. Oh my gosh, this update 1164 00:57:22,400 --> 00:57:25,160 Speaker 2: will probably be more than a little anti climactic. 1165 00:57:25,440 --> 00:57:25,640 Speaker 6: For that. 1166 00:57:25,840 --> 00:57:28,080 Speaker 2: I apologize to the people who felt like this was 1167 00:57:28,200 --> 00:57:30,840 Speaker 2: much ado about nothing. I agree, But like I said before, 1168 00:57:30,960 --> 00:57:34,640 Speaker 2: it's her continued insistence and certainty about this bizarre idea 1169 00:57:35,160 --> 00:57:38,480 Speaker 2: that niggles at me. So away we go. The boyfriend 1170 00:57:38,600 --> 00:57:41,560 Speaker 2: does indeed exist. I have met him and spoken with 1171 00:57:41,680 --> 00:57:45,160 Speaker 2: him several times. He seems older than her and is 1172 00:57:45,400 --> 00:57:48,480 Speaker 2: quieter overall. He has stated that he's a cat person 1173 00:57:48,560 --> 00:57:51,600 Speaker 2: and has engaged with my cat in the past, but 1174 00:57:51,880 --> 00:57:54,360 Speaker 2: I have not had the chance to talk to him separately. 1175 00:57:54,440 --> 00:57:56,840 Speaker 2: To get his side of the story. The white tent 1176 00:57:57,120 --> 00:57:59,840 Speaker 2: was in the front yard of my other neighbor's house 1177 00:58:00,080 --> 00:58:04,439 Speaker 2: and faces the opposite street, so a reflection is impossible. 1178 00:58:04,600 --> 00:58:07,240 Speaker 2: That being said, the older neighbor does keep bringing it 1179 00:58:07,320 --> 00:58:09,960 Speaker 2: up and is convinced people were sleeping in it. I've 1180 00:58:10,000 --> 00:58:12,560 Speaker 2: spoken with the front yard neighbor and she was airing 1181 00:58:12,560 --> 00:58:15,280 Speaker 2: out the tent after a camping trip. No one ever 1182 00:58:15,280 --> 00:58:16,960 Speaker 2: slept in it when it was in her yard. But 1183 00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:18,680 Speaker 2: I think a lot of folks in the comments are 1184 00:58:18,720 --> 00:58:21,640 Speaker 2: correct when they say the white tent unsettled the older 1185 00:58:21,640 --> 00:58:24,160 Speaker 2: neighbor because she brought it up several times. 1186 00:58:24,360 --> 00:58:27,720 Speaker 5: I love how exhaustive we have looked at every single 1187 00:58:27,880 --> 00:58:28,760 Speaker 5: thing this could have been. 1188 00:58:29,040 --> 00:58:31,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's like a reflection doesn't make any sense 1189 00:58:31,240 --> 00:58:33,720 Speaker 2: because they said your front door was open and they 1190 00:58:33,800 --> 00:58:36,520 Speaker 2: saw into your living room through your front door. I 1191 00:58:36,960 --> 00:58:41,200 Speaker 2: did loop in the landlords, but they seemed to also 1192 00:58:41,280 --> 00:58:44,280 Speaker 2: believe the older neighbor. She's rented from them for at 1193 00:58:44,360 --> 00:58:46,840 Speaker 2: least fifteen years, if not longer, and they told me 1194 00:58:46,920 --> 00:58:49,760 Speaker 2: that in the past she's been very reliable and truthful. 1195 00:58:49,880 --> 00:58:52,440 Speaker 2: They seemed spooked by the whole story and offered to 1196 00:58:52,520 --> 00:58:55,160 Speaker 2: change the locks. I figure it can't hurt, so I agreed. 1197 00:58:55,440 --> 00:58:58,640 Speaker 2: The landlords and I questioned the older neighbor pretty rigorously, 1198 00:58:58,640 --> 00:59:00,919 Speaker 2: and she's stuck by her story, even as we all 1199 00:59:01,400 --> 00:59:06,120 Speaker 2: expressed incredulity. She israted that she saw a two person tent, 1200 00:59:06,560 --> 00:59:10,280 Speaker 2: blue and white, fully erected in my front living room. 1201 00:59:10,360 --> 00:59:12,680 Speaker 2: She said it was not a pop up tent or 1202 00:59:12,960 --> 00:59:15,680 Speaker 2: pup tent. She said she saw it on a Wednesday 1203 00:59:15,720 --> 00:59:17,919 Speaker 2: because that's the day her boyfriend takes her to lunch 1204 00:59:17,960 --> 00:59:20,000 Speaker 2: each week. She said it was up when he picked 1205 00:59:20,000 --> 00:59:21,960 Speaker 2: her up, and down when he dropped her up. She 1206 00:59:21,960 --> 00:59:24,439 Speaker 2: got a little defensive as we probed, so people who 1207 00:59:24,480 --> 00:59:26,680 Speaker 2: warned that this could happen if we challenged her were 1208 00:59:26,680 --> 00:59:29,400 Speaker 2: spot on. She kept reiterating that it was a tent 1209 00:59:29,960 --> 00:59:33,200 Speaker 2: and that she could see it quite clearly. She seems 1210 00:59:33,240 --> 00:59:35,120 Speaker 2: to want to pin it on my nephew, and the 1211 00:59:35,200 --> 00:59:38,200 Speaker 2: landlords seemed to be leaning that way too, which is 1212 00:59:38,280 --> 00:59:40,480 Speaker 2: really frustrating. He's a twenty five year old man with 1213 00:59:40,520 --> 00:59:42,800 Speaker 2: his own home. He has no need to air a 1214 00:59:42,840 --> 00:59:45,600 Speaker 2: tent out in my tiny living room, and he doesn't 1215 00:59:45,640 --> 00:59:48,520 Speaker 2: even camp. Have we asked him? Have we asked him? 1216 00:59:48,560 --> 00:59:50,760 Speaker 5: Because this guy could have been like, I'm gonna f 1217 00:59:50,840 --> 00:59:53,760 Speaker 5: with the neighbors real quick and do something that no 1218 00:59:53,760 --> 00:59:56,560 Speaker 5: one else is gonna say. And Angela. I also spotted 1219 00:59:56,600 --> 00:59:58,800 Speaker 5: that it was a blue and brown tint, not a 1220 00:59:58,840 --> 00:59:59,960 Speaker 5: white and blue tar. 1221 01:00:00,040 --> 01:00:03,520 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right, that's right. She did change. She changed up. 1222 01:00:03,560 --> 01:00:07,200 Speaker 2: She switched up the cameras. I double checked every Wednesday 1223 01:00:07,240 --> 01:00:09,480 Speaker 2: for the last two months, which is the limit for 1224 01:00:09,560 --> 01:00:12,480 Speaker 2: stored video. No tent, no people entering my house, no 1225 01:00:12,520 --> 01:00:15,360 Speaker 2: footage of her and her boyfriend staring into my house. 1226 01:00:15,480 --> 01:00:19,920 Speaker 2: That being said, there's one Wednesday with no footage because 1227 01:00:19,960 --> 01:00:24,000 Speaker 2: the battery had become fully drained and I forgot to 1228 01:00:24,120 --> 01:00:31,840 Speaker 2: charge it. But but I was home. Oh, there's only 1229 01:00:31,880 --> 01:00:34,120 Speaker 2: one Wednesday that I went out of town, but I 1230 01:00:34,200 --> 01:00:37,200 Speaker 2: left after four pm and returned in less than twenty 1231 01:00:37,240 --> 01:00:40,000 Speaker 2: four hours. I still feel like this is pretty solid 1232 01:00:40,040 --> 01:00:42,760 Speaker 2: evidence of no tent, but I have to allow for 1233 01:00:42,800 --> 01:00:45,600 Speaker 2: the fact that the cameras were not fully operational. Cat 1234 01:00:45,640 --> 01:00:47,959 Speaker 2: is slowly getting better, though we had a setback today 1235 01:00:48,000 --> 01:00:50,640 Speaker 2: when she peed in the kitchen after the gardener's scared her. 1236 01:00:50,800 --> 01:00:53,120 Speaker 2: She is consistently using the litter pan I set up 1237 01:00:53,120 --> 01:00:55,840 Speaker 2: for her outside with no problem. She just refuses to 1238 01:00:55,960 --> 01:00:58,520 Speaker 2: use any litter pan anywhere inside. I have one in 1239 01:00:58,560 --> 01:01:00,560 Speaker 2: the kitchen, one by the front door, or one in 1240 01:01:00,600 --> 01:01:02,439 Speaker 2: the pantry, and one in the bathroom. Well, I guess 1241 01:01:02,440 --> 01:01:04,080 Speaker 2: if it's gonna go on the pantry, it's better to 1242 01:01:04,120 --> 01:01:05,600 Speaker 2: do it there instead of on the ground. 1243 01:01:05,680 --> 01:01:07,840 Speaker 3: Wasn't that a story One time some dude was living 1244 01:01:07,840 --> 01:01:11,080 Speaker 3: in the ceiling of a pantry, specifically because then he 1245 01:01:11,120 --> 01:01:13,880 Speaker 3: could just grab the food and keep eating shut up like, 1246 01:01:14,160 --> 01:01:15,480 Speaker 3: and he just didn't have to come down. 1247 01:01:15,560 --> 01:01:17,240 Speaker 2: I want to say he was in the pantry, reached 1248 01:01:17,360 --> 01:01:19,560 Speaker 2: down and grabbed like a box of wheedies and then 1249 01:01:19,600 --> 01:01:20,120 Speaker 2: pulled it down. 1250 01:01:20,200 --> 01:01:22,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, because I think they found out because they realized 1251 01:01:22,200 --> 01:01:23,040 Speaker 3: food was going there. 1252 01:01:23,000 --> 01:01:26,280 Speaker 2: And someone goes. I do think the calmbing food is helping, 1253 01:01:26,360 --> 01:01:29,280 Speaker 2: since we're down to just one accident and it was 1254 01:01:29,360 --> 01:01:31,480 Speaker 2: on the puppy pads. I am keeping her in the 1255 01:01:31,520 --> 01:01:33,800 Speaker 2: kitchen at night and letting her out before six am 1256 01:01:33,800 --> 01:01:36,880 Speaker 2: every day. Hopefully I can eventually get her to use 1257 01:01:36,920 --> 01:01:41,520 Speaker 2: her litter pan inside. And the raccoon season. I think 1258 01:01:41,600 --> 01:01:45,000 Speaker 2: my front neighbor used this phrase because it's baby season. 1259 01:01:45,080 --> 01:01:48,120 Speaker 2: Rat Now we have a mom and two kids that 1260 01:01:48,240 --> 01:01:51,240 Speaker 2: hang out in our property. If you've never seen a 1261 01:01:51,280 --> 01:01:55,280 Speaker 2: baby raccoon, you're missing out. They are adorable. I'm so 1262 01:01:55,440 --> 01:01:59,240 Speaker 2: mad that there's no real explanation here. I think she's 1263 01:01:59,280 --> 01:01:59,800 Speaker 2: just crazy. 1264 01:02:00,000 --> 01:02:01,760 Speaker 5: We're gonna make our own Type one in the chat. 1265 01:02:01,800 --> 01:02:04,040 Speaker 5: If you think it's the neighbor, Type two in the chat, 1266 01:02:04,080 --> 01:02:06,240 Speaker 5: if you think there's someone living in the craws space. 1267 01:02:06,320 --> 01:02:08,400 Speaker 2: Three, if you think it's spooky tanookies. 1268 01:02:08,720 --> 01:02:11,240 Speaker 3: I read through all of the comments she gives, like 1269 01:02:11,480 --> 01:02:16,160 Speaker 3: nothing more than what we're about to get. 1270 01:02:16,840 --> 01:02:19,560 Speaker 5: There's just something bothering me, like at the bottom of 1271 01:02:19,560 --> 01:02:22,120 Speaker 5: my heart that there's someone living in her cross space 1272 01:02:22,280 --> 01:02:24,440 Speaker 5: and all she needs to do is check it. That's like, 1273 01:02:24,480 --> 01:02:26,280 Speaker 5: gets someone else to check it. I don't care, just 1274 01:02:26,320 --> 01:02:27,920 Speaker 5: get someone has to check it. 1275 01:02:28,120 --> 01:02:30,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, throw some firecrackers down there, like you said, just 1276 01:02:30,320 --> 01:02:36,160 Speaker 2: throw them in there at the last like yeah, like 1277 01:02:36,240 --> 01:02:39,040 Speaker 2: I said at the beginning, not much of a resolution 1278 01:02:39,320 --> 01:02:41,480 Speaker 2: at this point. I just want to put the whole 1279 01:02:41,600 --> 01:02:44,560 Speaker 2: thing to rest. I'm changing the locks so if there 1280 01:02:44,560 --> 01:02:48,560 Speaker 2: are any mystery indoor campers or mischievous raccoons with a 1281 01:02:48,600 --> 01:02:52,200 Speaker 2: copy of my key, they'll have to find another locale 1282 01:02:52,200 --> 01:02:56,000 Speaker 2: for their shenanigans. I'll stop questioning the neighbor because she's 1283 01:02:56,200 --> 01:02:58,760 Speaker 2: adamant and now it feels a little weird to keep 1284 01:02:58,840 --> 01:03:01,720 Speaker 2: harping on it. I'll ever to be patient and kind 1285 01:03:01,720 --> 01:03:03,720 Speaker 2: to my cat so that she'll get back to her 1286 01:03:03,760 --> 01:03:07,240 Speaker 2: old self. And that's the end of the saga. I'm 1287 01:03:07,280 --> 01:03:09,760 Speaker 2: surprised by how much attention this all got reddits. That 1288 01:03:09,880 --> 01:03:12,000 Speaker 2: was almost a million and a half people looked at 1289 01:03:12,000 --> 01:03:15,320 Speaker 2: the post and the update. That's not wow. Thanks everyone 1290 01:03:15,320 --> 01:03:18,200 Speaker 2: for all your comments, suggestions, insights, and comic relief. Even 1291 01:03:18,200 --> 01:03:20,920 Speaker 2: the snarky comments made me laugh. Bukita Nuki, that's the 1292 01:03:21,040 --> 01:03:22,640 Speaker 2: end of that story. I saw a lot of ones 1293 01:03:22,680 --> 01:03:23,400 Speaker 2: that it was a neighbor. 1294 01:03:23,640 --> 01:03:26,560 Speaker 3: Most of the Reddit comments said neighbor, neighbor. 1295 01:03:26,680 --> 01:03:29,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, I think this is a case of maybe your 1296 01:03:29,280 --> 01:03:35,040 Speaker 2: neighbor does a little bit of funny funny dust, you know, 1297 01:03:36,840 --> 01:03:41,760 Speaker 2: and you know, maybe, uh, maybe boyfriend is just a 1298 01:03:41,800 --> 01:03:45,000 Speaker 2: calm version of that guy. And it's just like, yeah, whatever, 1299 01:03:45,040 --> 01:03:47,080 Speaker 2: I'll go along with whatever you say. I love you, 1300 01:03:47,200 --> 01:03:49,600 Speaker 2: I'll love you, I will lie for you at all times. 1301 01:03:49,680 --> 01:03:52,200 Speaker 2: I love you. You're on day one a one. I 1302 01:03:52,200 --> 01:03:53,920 Speaker 2: will always love you, and I will lie to you 1303 01:03:53,960 --> 01:03:56,360 Speaker 2: about tents in people's living rooms as long as I live, 1304 01:03:56,600 --> 01:03:57,880 Speaker 2: and that's the end of this story.