Speaker 1: Hell I Suck a Dating with Dengler and Jared Haven
Speaker 1: and I heart radio podcast. What's going on? Everyone? Welcome
Speaker 1: to an all new episode of Help I Suck at
Speaker 1: Dating and Boy oh boy, do we have an incredibly
Speaker 1: special episode for you today. Not only did our beloved
Speaker 1: Jared habn It just have his very sweet little baby boy,
Speaker 1: Dawson's Creek Haben, born on February no January two, but
Speaker 1: we also have everyone's favorite favorite co host joining us
Speaker 1: this week. Um, it's not an least, it's not it's
Speaker 1: not Kelly, it's not Kelsey, it's none of them. It
Speaker 1: is the one and only Kylen Miller Keys. Hello. I
Speaker 1: think I can't be your favorite if I've never co
Speaker 1: hosted before. Well you're my favorite. So welcome to the podcast.
Speaker 1: Thank you for joining us this week. Um, you know,
Speaker 1: I I think we both made a point of it
Speaker 1: early on in our relationship to not do many joint
Speaker 1: interview joint media appearances together. That mostly probably was me
Speaker 1: deciding that because I just hate I just hate the
Speaker 1: way that people like look into it and read into
Speaker 1: it and scrutinize. You also hate talking about chemistry. Oh,
Speaker 1: I also just I just really what it really what
Speaker 1: it really boils down to, is I just hate like
Speaker 1: the performative nature of a couple being on a public
Speaker 1: media outlet because because think about it, like, what are
Speaker 1: you expected to do just like be giddy, head over heels,
Speaker 1: NonStop gushing about each other, right, and then your response
Speaker 1: then is to kind of like shut down, and then
Speaker 1: people think that you don't actually love me and you'll
Speaker 1: never say you love me, and headlines come from that,
Speaker 1: and I'll tell you what, It's worked out pretty well
Speaker 1: up There's definitely been a lot of negative headlines written
Speaker 1: about the dumb things that I say for good reason.
Speaker 1: Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that they were.
Speaker 1: I'll justified. They do take my stuff out of context
Speaker 1: all the time. That's totally fine. It's totally fine. It's
Speaker 1: totally fine. And if you want to know why it's fine,
Speaker 1: it's fine because at the end of the day, you
Speaker 1: know what's real and what isn't real or not real.
Speaker 1: But like, you know how I feel, not just like
Speaker 1: some out of context US Weekly article I was going
Speaker 1: to tell you how to feel. So anyways, all that
Speaker 1: to say, yes, I this is enjoyable, don't get me wrong.
Speaker 1: But if I, if it were really up to me
Speaker 1: in a perfect universe, it would still be me in
Speaker 1: Jared today. Yeah, I mean I for all of those
Speaker 1: reasons that I just stated, Dean hates having Kady. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I mean, sure, run with it if you want to.
Speaker 1: I mean, look, it's great having you here, but it's
Speaker 1: the same reason like I don't want to be on
Speaker 1: your YouTube, which, by the way, if you're listening to
Speaker 1: this episode of help I start tore Dating, be sure
Speaker 1: to check out Kaylin's YouTube channel. What is your keys
Speaker 1: is just my name? Yeah? Yeah, okay, so Klin Miller
Speaker 1: Keys on YouTube. If she makes fantastic YouTube videos, go
Speaker 1: check him out. Um. But yeah, I just don't like it.
Speaker 1: I know, I know you don't. I'm just giving you
Speaker 1: a hard time. And I agree. It's not like the
Speaker 1: nature of our relationship to talk about our relationship. It's
Speaker 1: just we just live it out. It's not even talking
Speaker 1: about our relationship like I could talk about our relationship
Speaker 1: without you here. I know. But it's with me that's
Speaker 1: the issue. Yeah, it is an issue. And I'll tell
Speaker 1: you what one of my biggest pet peeves in the
Speaker 1: entire universe is is when you see the new Bachelor
Speaker 1: and his first pick come off the show, and like
Speaker 1: they're expected to like gush about each other and tell
Speaker 1: everyone how head over heels in love with each other
Speaker 1: they are, even if they just came off of a
Speaker 1: big fight. Yeah, and even if they like still are
Speaker 1: learning so much about each other. So it's just like
Speaker 1: it's it's just annoying to me and sorry I'm here. Yeah,
Speaker 1: thank you for apologizing, um and so so so that's
Speaker 1: kind of I mean, obviously it's no secret because I
Speaker 1: think we mentioned that at the very beginning of our
Speaker 1: relationship to years and like seven months ago. Uh oh yeah,
Speaker 1: no one's counting though, um So, so if you send
Speaker 1: some of that today, just like you know, just kind
Speaker 1: of understand. I think that's the issue. People think sometimes
Speaker 1: you really are just so disinterested in me, but you
Speaker 1: just hate me being here in present for talking about
Speaker 1: our relationship and like you're not a gushy person, Well
Speaker 1: what about you? Are you a gushy person? Can be?
Speaker 1: Well gush, go ahead and gush. What am I gonna
Speaker 1: gush about you? If you want? Know, Alison has been
Speaker 1: acting up today, but I can't gush about you. You
Speaker 1: are a great partner. You're sweet, you're funny, you're handsome.
Speaker 1: What I'll tell you what I'll answer that phone call.
Speaker 1: I don't know. You keep seventies phone call. We keep
Speaker 1: entertaining our podcast listeners. All I can gush more about DNS.
Speaker 1: He answers the phone Ben Higgins room. Happen to help you,
Speaker 1: Dean is Higgs. We're in Ben Higgins room right now
Speaker 1: recording this podcast because we weren't able to get into
Speaker 1: our room. Ten's answering Ben's phone. Well, Ben away, probably
Speaker 1: grabbing lunch by And how's the room so far? Are
Speaker 1: you enjoying it? Yeah? Old and quaint. Yeah, that's that's
Speaker 1: the best kinds seems haunted haunted. Have you had a
Speaker 1: paranormal experience yet? Not here, But Dean took me to
Speaker 1: a hotel in his hometown like last year, and that
Speaker 1: was very haunted. And he like went on tours in
Speaker 1: high school because it was like a like a haunted
Speaker 1: tour field trips. I guess hello, I returned, caln Is
Speaker 1: telling me about this haunted hotel. You took her too
Speaker 1: in Colorado. I was a little disappointed in her inability
Speaker 1: to keep the conversation flowing while I stepped away for
Speaker 1: a moment, nary what was going on, but you would
Speaker 1: talk so loud. You know, Kaylin was a broadcast journalism
Speaker 1: major at Virginia Commonwealth University. Wow, I certainly was go Rams,
Speaker 1: Go Ram's baby. Uh No, I could hear that that
Speaker 1: broadcast confidence in your voice, Kaalen when you I wish
Speaker 1: you would come on this podcast more because we actually
Speaker 1: we need trained media professional here every now and again.
Speaker 1: You just got doing over here. You want to show
Speaker 1: up on time. I just wish Calin had more confidence
Speaker 1: to just project more rights. It's there, it's just all
Speaker 1: want to take. All it needs to do is break
Speaker 1: through a little bit of uncertainty to bust through that.
Speaker 1: It's it's it's it's movie magic. Put a script in
Speaker 1: my hands and welcome back to w TVR CBS six.
Speaker 1: I'm kil Miller Keys, I'm your host for this evening.
Speaker 1: Do you think Erin and has a script on the
Speaker 1: sideline reporter? Yes, I've actually got a blueprint and what
Speaker 1: you're supposed to say. But okay, I've got a blueprint
Speaker 1: for you here. Like, come on, why don't you just
Speaker 1: give us a little life update, Kalen? Like Philliston on
Speaker 1: what's going on with you? A little life update. So
Speaker 1: we got Alistair about two months ago myself. Sure people
Speaker 1: already know that it's more like less of us and
Speaker 1: more of you. Um. I just haven't really been doing
Speaker 1: too much. Been working on some things behind the scenes,
Speaker 1: and uh, working on our house NonStop. Our house is
Speaker 1: just like an ongoing project and takes up a lot
Speaker 1: of time. I'm and I feel like that's all I've
Speaker 1: been really focused on lately, and trying to find a
Speaker 1: trainer for Alistair because he bit me in the face.
Speaker 1: So tell us about the bite. Yes, So Alistair bit
Speaker 1: my face two weeks ago. And he's the sweetest dog
Speaker 1: in the world. But he's like very very protective over
Speaker 1: Diana and I. And that wasn't even the situation with
Speaker 1: the bite. He just was scared of this German shepherd
Speaker 1: and I was an uninformed dog parent and picked him up.
Speaker 1: And when they're in a fearful mode, they're just in
Speaker 1: their animal mode. So he attacked and bit my face.
Speaker 1: I had like four or five stitches. It wasn't that bad.
Speaker 1: There are plenty of dog bites that are much much worse. Um,
Speaker 1: but it was scary. So I now the past few
Speaker 1: weeks have just been really focused on finding a trainer
Speaker 1: that isn't going to use shot colors on him, that
Speaker 1: isn't going to like abuse him in any way. And
Speaker 1: I know trainers say obviously they would never say, like
Speaker 1: we're going to abuse their your dog, but I don't know.
Speaker 1: I just like I want to make sure he he's
Speaker 1: like taking I have and he's trained right now, We're
Speaker 1: in Carmel, and he's just barking at every single person
Speaker 1: in every single animal. So I just wanted to be
Speaker 1: well behaved. That's what I've been focused on. Okay, yep,
Speaker 1: that was a long explanation of alistair. But what else
Speaker 1: is going on with you? Just the house, like I said,
Speaker 1: just working on the house, making sure our house is
Speaker 1: finally finished. It's almost been a year. But our backyard
Speaker 1: is like a continued process. And what have you been
Speaker 1: up to? Golf? I mean, I'm not I'm not the
Speaker 1: one on trial here. I just feel embarrassed. I'm not
Speaker 1: really doing that much. I feel every single day of
Speaker 1: the week. Um yeah, I mean, I guess I I
Speaker 1: we talked about this actually pretty often. I don't think
Speaker 1: I think it's kind of a cop out for us
Speaker 1: to hire a trainer for Alistair. It's actually been a
Speaker 1: point of contention in our relationship over the past twitter
Speaker 1: ten hours or so. I want to train him on
Speaker 1: my own. Caitlin and I both have very, very different parenting.
Speaker 1: I want to know if people out there have ever
Speaker 1: trained their dogs like this, this common, or do people
Speaker 1: typically hired trainers. So if you want to slide into
Speaker 1: our d M S no, I want to hear the
Speaker 1: people's response. I would say, if you were to pull
Speaker 1: a hundred people that have dogs, I would say seventy
Speaker 1: of them or oh my gosh, this is what Dean does.
Speaker 1: Alistair's he's an older dog, right, so Alisa is our
Speaker 1: second senior risk. Yeah, he's nine. You know there's a
Speaker 1: phrase about teaching an old dog new tricks. Yeah you can't.
Speaker 1: You can't do it, they say, Um, I wanted to.
Speaker 1: I just feel like training a dog is hard, and
Speaker 1: then when they're at an advanced stage, it gets harder.
Speaker 1: We have an older dog and we've definitely trained him.
Speaker 1: We've trained him to freak out when we leave the
Speaker 1: house and go hide under the couch and um, and
Speaker 1: we have trained him to uh want to eat what
Speaker 1: we're eating, but um, nothing productive, So I'm interested. He's
Speaker 1: learning new tricks as an older dog, which is simply
Speaker 1: defeating the what is it the stigma, that's what it
Speaker 1: is of that old dogs can't learn new tricks. It
Speaker 1: sounds like your old dog learn all these great new
Speaker 1: tricks that you hate. Yes, yes he did, whether or
Speaker 1: not I wanted to train that way. But what do
Speaker 1: you need to train him to do? What's what's on
Speaker 1: the list? Um? Well, he gets very emotional around other dogs.
Speaker 1: He freaks out, he barks, he lunges, not even just dogs.
Speaker 1: If someone walks a little too quickly in his direction,
Speaker 1: he'll get a little upset about it. Um if someone
Speaker 1: rides a bicycle or even as driving a car down
Speaker 1: the street, he'll get a little upset. But if no
Speaker 1: one moved or did anything, he'd be a pretty well
Speaker 1: behaved dog. Um. But I I'm kind of in the
Speaker 1: camp of like we should train ourselves. And I'm also
Speaker 1: in the camp of the owner's energy is reflected by
Speaker 1: the dog. And um, um, do you think I'm stressed
Speaker 1: around him? So I'm causing his stress? Which is yes,
Speaker 1: she did. I have anxiety because he just bit my
Speaker 1: face and I had to get stitches. It's totally fine.
Speaker 1: I totally understand it. But when you're on edge around
Speaker 1: a dog that's already on edge, you're being on edge
Speaker 1: is going to like set him over the top. And
Speaker 1: that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. I just
Speaker 1: think that, like we need to take a step back
Speaker 1: and I'll take deep breaths together, me, you and Alistair.
Speaker 1: My fear is that he's going to bite someone else.
Speaker 1: We're going to get sued. Someone is going to have
Speaker 1: a way worse bite than I did. I just want
Speaker 1: to prevent that. I mean, he's tasted human blood now,
Speaker 1: you know, like he's a vampire. Yeah, yeah, I mean, listen,
Speaker 1: I get it. It's it's interesting to see because Caitlin's already'
Speaker 1: already admitted to like being a helicopter parent, and I've
Speaker 1: am definitely the opposite of that, and so it's interesting
Speaker 1: to see the difference in our perspective parenting styles because they're, uh,
Speaker 1: they're they're they're on the opposite side of the spectrum.
Speaker 1: But it's better than us both being lax parents, are
Speaker 1: both being helicopter parents. I disagree. I think I think
Speaker 1: if you're both re lack parents. We would have you
Speaker 1: four your kids. Yeah, no, that's not true. We would
Speaker 1: have like Gossip Girl kids. That's even worse. Oh it's
Speaker 1: not worse, but it's bad there. They'd be like highly intelligent,
Speaker 1: I'm fully sentient teenagers that are just like going through
Speaker 1: life acting like forty five year old Wall Street bankers,
Speaker 1: but they're really sixteen year old girls. It doesn't I
Speaker 1: don't understand, really, gossip Girl, that's just kind of how
Speaker 1: I imagine it. Um so, yeah, I mean I don't
Speaker 1: know Easter, And what about you? How do you guys
Speaker 1: have any conflicting parenting styles with your guys? Dog? Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I'm I'm a helicopter parent for sure, and like because
Speaker 1: my dog is very well behaved, but he doesn't get
Speaker 1: along with other dogs. And my attitude was, he's like
Speaker 1: twelve years old, you know, so much longer as he
Speaker 1: just wants to hang out alone, why do we need
Speaker 1: to subject him to their dogs? And uh, but my
Speaker 1: wife has tried to socialize him with some of like
Speaker 1: it would be nice so our friends could bring their
Speaker 1: dogs over and he could hang out, or we could
Speaker 1: get him a friend or something. And every single time
Speaker 1: we do it I just freak out because I'm like,
Speaker 1: he's going to this bomber, you need to shreds and
Speaker 1: I don't want to watch it happen. Um, and I'm
Speaker 1: afraid to let him off the leash anywhere. Like we
Speaker 1: we went to the beach and uh for the first
Speaker 1: time last year, and like we let him off. We
Speaker 1: were in like a secluded beach. It was in the
Speaker 1: middle Catalan island. There's no one around, and I was
Speaker 1: still just like I just black my microphene. I'm I'm
Speaker 1: nervous now. It's it's manifesting itself now. Uh. He's sleeping
Speaker 1: in a little bed next to me and I'm just
Speaker 1: nervously never gonna wake up. It's the worst. But my
Speaker 1: wife is very hands off and very much what's gonna
Speaker 1: happen is going to happen. And I think it's a
Speaker 1: good balance. I think, do you think it's I do?
Speaker 1: I do? I think I think you need to have
Speaker 1: those conflicting viewpoints because I think through that you will
Speaker 1: find a medium, the middle path, which is the right
Speaker 1: way to go. But don't you think it's okay? So
Speaker 1: this is my only beef with the two conflicting parenting styles.
Speaker 1: Is when Alice is around me and I'm trying to
Speaker 1: like teach him certain things for a couple of days,
Speaker 1: all of that goes out the window when he spends
Speaker 1: three days along with Kaylin and she's trying to teach
Speaker 1: him things in a different way. Um, you know, same thing,
Speaker 1: but different style, and all of the progress gets lost immediately.
Speaker 1: I mean, that's true, and I can see that happening.
Speaker 1: I think when you have opposing viewpoints, the key is
Speaker 1: to find compromise in certain areas. That's the you know,
Speaker 1: but we don't compromise in this relationship. So I'm not
Speaker 1: saying that at all. I'm saying, why would you compromise.
Speaker 1: We try to go we find as many win win
Speaker 1: situations as we possibly can. Yeah, exactly. The The important
Speaker 1: distinction between win win win is I've one having successfully
Speaker 1: moderated this win win agreement. My point is win win
Speaker 1: win sounds like just win. For Dean. I went all
Speaker 1: three times because I was right, I got my way,
Speaker 1: and now I'm happy the next three wins. What else
Speaker 1: do we want to talk about? You said, I have
Speaker 1: glad you're here because you know how you know how
Speaker 1: challenging it is for me to run an entire episode
Speaker 1: by myself. And as great as it is, they have
Speaker 1: Kalen here. Um, you know it's it's so rare we
Speaker 1: get kalin here. I'm trying to like, I want to
Speaker 1: use this time appropriately. I want to take advantage. Um Kalin. Yeah,
Speaker 1: what what do you hate about Dean? What's your least
Speaker 1: favorite thing about him? Right now? This is a really
Speaker 1: opportune time to ask you that question because there's a
Speaker 1: lot of stuff on the surface. Oh hate about Dean.
Speaker 1: I don't hate anything about Dean. I just tell him
Speaker 1: some of the things you told me last night. You're insane. Um,
Speaker 1: I justli his Uh. You can say what you can say,
Speaker 1: whatever you want to say. Dean loves his friends, which
Speaker 1: I do love, but like he really loves his girlfriends.
Speaker 1: And if he's golfing, he'll golf eighteen holes and then
Speaker 1: he's having so much fun that'll golf eighteen more holes
Speaker 1: and then f s time whole golf nine more holes
Speaker 1: and sounds miserable. And it's just like if we have plans,
Speaker 1: I know, I then have to be a helicopter girlfriend
Speaker 1: and call and be like you left right, you left right? Oh,
Speaker 1: you haven't left, but you know we have this you know.
Speaker 1: Oh wait, do we ever have plans after I'm golfing? Though? No,
Speaker 1: we do? You have done that's my that's my plans.
Speaker 1: We very plan. Do you follow each other's location on
Speaker 1: your phone? Yes, we do, but you're still in so right.
Speaker 1: But when Dean says he's left and then it spent
Speaker 1: an hour and he's still at the golf course, okay.
Speaker 1: But here's my here's my argument against that is I
Speaker 1: would weigh rather And this is how I've lived my
Speaker 1: life for the past thirty years. And I'll tell you
Speaker 1: what it's worked pretty gosh darn well from me up
Speaker 1: until now. Is I am always an ask for forgiveness,
Speaker 1: not for permission kind of guy. So when Killen's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: we'll be home by one, and I know for a
Speaker 1: fact I will not be home by one, I'll just
Speaker 1: be like, yeah, I'll be home by one. And then
Speaker 1: she calls me at five and she says, hey, have
Speaker 1: you left yet, And I'd be like, oh, my gosh,
Speaker 1: we have got one more holes to go and around
Speaker 1: hole twelve. And then I get home and it's three
Speaker 1: pm and she's like, why are you two hours late?
Speaker 1: I'm like Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Golf took
Speaker 1: a little bit longer tay, which it normally does. Don't
Speaker 1: get me wrong, but yeah, maybe it's a maybe it's
Speaker 1: a breakdown and communication toxic. Oh my god, tell me
Speaker 1: tell me how a toxic? That's a little harsh. No,
Speaker 1: tell me that's great. Can't just say like little little
Speaker 1: things like yeah, I mean I'm leaving and you haven't left.
Speaker 1: I just I'm ridiculous. But he thinks he's right. Here
Speaker 1: here's the other thing. Do you always thinks he's right
Speaker 1: no matter what situation. Even if he knows he's wrong,
Speaker 1: he'll never admit it. Here's the thing. Here's the thing.
Speaker 1: I'm a yes man, And if you ask me a
Speaker 1: question like, oh, will you be done by this time?
Speaker 1: I'll be like yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes yes yes.
Speaker 1: I just like saying the word yes. It's my favorite
Speaker 1: word to say yes, yes, yes, yes yes. And if
Speaker 1: I Caitlin is like typing something to you right now,
Speaker 1: and I'm losing my train of thought and I just
Speaker 1: want to say yes. I want to say yes to
Speaker 1: her about everything, everything she wants for me. I just
Speaker 1: want to say yes too. And so she wants me
Speaker 1: to be done by one pm. Yes, maybe, of course
Speaker 1: I'll be done by one pm. Um, but then you know,
Speaker 1: sure enough, to thirty comes around and I'm still not done.
Speaker 1: So I'm sorry. That's just that's I'll stop saying yes
Speaker 1: as a frequently as I do. But let's move on
Speaker 1: to a different let's move on to a different subject soon.
Speaker 1: What do you say? Wait, one last thing. I'm just
Speaker 1: enjoying the psychoanalysis of Dean Imla Dean. Do you do
Speaker 1: you see yourself as a people pleaser? Um? Yes I do?
Speaker 1: Actually absolutely, yeah, I'm getting that sense. Yeah, Pa, I
Speaker 1: don't know, uh, like partially, but you also like do
Speaker 1: whatever you want. Even that means like it's not going
Speaker 1: to make them happy because like think about the podcast.
Speaker 1: You know, like when you're late to a podcast, you're
Speaker 1: not people pleasing. Then I'm like a selfish people pleaser.
Speaker 1: I always look out for myself first, but I always
Speaker 1: want to make sure that people are pleased around me.
Speaker 1: Is that fair? I've never thought of you as a
Speaker 1: people pleasing Oh, I mean, I'm a calin pleaser. I
Speaker 1: just want to make sure Caalen is happy all the time.
Speaker 1: Are you currently pleased calin Are you pleased? Are you please?
Speaker 1: Right now? I'm all right, you're just all right, that's
Speaker 1: a that's a hard no, I'm pleased you please, I'm please? Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: are you at people please? Reason? Oh yeah, big time,
Speaker 1: big time. Yeah. I think most children are divorce are
Speaker 1: I just want everyone to be happy. I just want
Speaker 1: the fighting to stop and uh, you know, just do
Speaker 1: whatever anyone says all the time. But I also understand,
Speaker 1: like you know, when someone's like can you do this,
Speaker 1: and you're like, yes, I can, and even in your
Speaker 1: mind you're like, oh, that's not gonna happen. Like I
Speaker 1: think you like to live in that moment where it
Speaker 1: feels like I think, you know, I think you just
Speaker 1: made something click. For me, too, is whenever someone says
Speaker 1: can you do this? In my head, I'm like, listen,
Speaker 1: I can literally do everything. I can do anything and everything.
Speaker 1: Just tell me what and where to do it and
Speaker 1: it'll get done. And then like once it comes to
Speaker 1: the time, I'm like, oh crap, I definitely can't do that,
Speaker 1: you know. I think it's my own narcissistic ego in
Speaker 1: my head where I'm like, yeah, I can do I
Speaker 1: can be everywhere at any time I can be I
Speaker 1: am like this omnipotent each ye that can just do
Speaker 1: everything at all times. But sure enough, at the end
Speaker 1: of the day, I'm not that person. I don't when
Speaker 1: when he's stays to play extra golf or is late
Speaker 1: coming back, I don't think that's a Kalin matters less
Speaker 1: to me than this right now. I think it's a
Speaker 1: I want. I don't want to let Klin down. I
Speaker 1: also don't want to let my friends down. I don't
Speaker 1: want to let myself down. And I really like playing
Speaker 1: golf right now. And you know that makes sense. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a that's a really good point because by leaving
Speaker 1: golf and letting my friends down, my friends are right
Speaker 1: in front of me right there, So I feel more
Speaker 1: guilty beallting them down because they're in front of my face.
Speaker 1: I guess you you are a people pleaser, but like
Speaker 1: a different version of a people pleaser than most people.
Speaker 1: Like I'm a people pleaser. I would say Eastern as
Speaker 1: a people pleaser, But you're like a different breed. But
Speaker 1: I'm a different breeder. He's build different different Have you
Speaker 1: have you blown off your friends to be with Klin Dean?
Speaker 1: Probably more than the I would say more often than
Speaker 1: I yes, more than often than the other way. But
Speaker 1: but here's the thing and and and this this applies
Speaker 1: to everyone in every scenario, is we always remember the
Speaker 1: times that we weren't prioritized instead of the times that
Speaker 1: we were prioritized, because they become less of an issue. Right.
Speaker 1: So it's like, if I'm blowing off my friends to
Speaker 1: play golf to hang out with you instead, like I
Speaker 1: don't get any positive praise for that because that's kind
Speaker 1: of us expected of me, which is totally okay, and
Speaker 1: I totally understand that. Um, but if I don't blow
Speaker 1: off my friends, then I get not in trouble. But
Speaker 1: like then there's like a you know, cause for concern.
Speaker 1: I guess, yeah, I'm lost as well. I'll be honest.
Speaker 1: We were waiting a little bit of time for this
Speaker 1: podcast to start, so I went out and had a
Speaker 1: couple of hell of pain your Margarita's. I still feel
Speaker 1: guilty about saying you're that's a toxic trait. I did
Speaker 1: not mean, you know, and so I mean it's your's.
Speaker 1: You have every right to tell me whether or not
Speaker 1: do you think it's a toxic. No, it's not toxic.
Speaker 1: I think Easton helped us see it in a different way. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you are, people, please are in a very I just
Speaker 1: say I'm a victim of my environment. Whatever environment i'm in,
Speaker 1: I want to be in that, and you're like fully
Speaker 1: dive into that environment. Yeah, that's exactly right. Anyway, should
Speaker 1: we maybe move on to another topic so I don't
Speaker 1: get my butt kicked after this episode's over? Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: my show, You're right, And because it's my show, I'm
Speaker 1: going to take the initiative and just say we're gonna
Speaker 1: take a quick break because the three of us need
Speaker 1: to have a team meeting about about what we can
Speaker 1: and can't discuss next. So we're gonna take a quick break.
Speaker 1: Just stay tuned through these commercials and we'll be right back.
Speaker 1: All right, everybody, welcome back to help I suck at dating,
Speaker 1: and I'll be honest. The last segment, we were supposed
Speaker 1: to answer a couple of Q and eight questions we
Speaker 1: have teed up here, but we never got around to
Speaker 1: any of them. So Easton, I hope that we all
Speaker 1: can answer them together. Is that possible? Yeah, definitely, Okay,
Speaker 1: I can here. I'll read them, I'll pull them up
Speaker 1: because I definitely have them handy. Yeah, I can tell
Speaker 1: that you definitely have them right there, just pausing for
Speaker 1: dramatic effect. You know, there's nothing if there isn't suspense
Speaker 1: on a podcast. Okay, uh Q and eight questions here
Speaker 1: we go. Uh let's do something spicy. Yeah oh um.
Speaker 1: Is it important for you and your partner to have
Speaker 1: different interests in hobbies? Yes? Absolutely. Is it important for
Speaker 1: you and your partner to have different interests and hobbies? Yeah,
Speaker 1: And Dean obviously loves golf and that's like a very
Speaker 1: time consuming hobby, and I my hobbies are like an
Speaker 1: interest tennis and like going out with my girlfriends on
Speaker 1: the weekend. And tennis is like a big one, but
Speaker 1: that takes like two hours max, whereas his takes up
Speaker 1: like I have to eight hours. So I I've been
Speaker 1: trying to find a hobby that lasts as long as
Speaker 1: Dean's hobby. But I do think it's important for us
Speaker 1: to do our separate things because I feel like we
Speaker 1: grow a lot more when, like we have that time apart,
Speaker 1: when we're not constantly like on top of each other
Speaker 1: seven I think we do better as a couple. Just
Speaker 1: like having a few hours here and there with our friends.
Speaker 1: I'm just disappointed at the only hobby that you tell
Speaker 1: people that I have is golf. No, no, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: Oh my god. It's or or wood working or traveling.
Speaker 1: But because of COVID, that was like the only thing
Speaker 1: you could really do. Okay, sure, but it's not that
Speaker 1: golf is my only hobby. It's that golf is the
Speaker 1: only hobby of mine that you hate. No, but I
Speaker 1: wasn't saying I hated it, I know. But anyways, that's
Speaker 1: so I also agree that it's important to have opposite hobbies,
Speaker 1: not opposite hobbies, but different hobbies. Um, because yeah, like
Speaker 1: Caitlin said, it gives you a chance to explore different
Speaker 1: things on your own. But even like you know, golf
Speaker 1: takes a long time. Also, skydiving takes a long time.
Speaker 1: I don't have a hobby that takes a long time,
Speaker 1: so I'm still finding one because it would be nice
Speaker 1: to have like six hours in my day just investing
Speaker 1: in a hobby. Yeah sure, yeah, So if if anyone
Speaker 1: has any long term hobbies for Kalin Center d As,
Speaker 1: I love Dennis, but I don't have a stamina to
Speaker 1: it just playing. It's a lot of times. It's much
Speaker 1: more high intensity than golf. Um have either? I like that.
Speaker 1: This is a question. Have either of you ever joined
Speaker 1: the Mile High Club? Oh? My god, I have not.
Speaker 1: You've never joined the Mile High Club? Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: I've never joined. If you joink in the city of Denver,
Speaker 1: does that count? Oh? Yeah, that's a good question. Actually, um,
Speaker 1: I would say, I would say why not? Why not?
Speaker 1: I don't think you're technically an honorary member of the
Speaker 1: actual mile a Club, but you know, the Mile High
Speaker 1: City Club. I think might be an important distinction to
Speaker 1: make there are you? Are you? And uh? Radio Luxembourg
Speaker 1: know not at all? Uh, that's disgusting. I think those
Speaker 1: bathrooms are grass um Uh do you ever? Do you
Speaker 1: ever cook for each other? Yes? I do? Who does
Speaker 1: most of the cooking? Me? Who dost the cooking? Postmates don't.
Speaker 1: I was about to say, I'm a huge fan of Postmates,
Speaker 1: so shout out to Postmates. Were doing? What's the cooking
Speaker 1: for us? But when we're in Vegas it's a lot
Speaker 1: easier to cook because it's just like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: we have a big island. It's easier. I made homemade pasta,
Speaker 1: homemade pasta sauce recently, but Dean also made me pasta
Speaker 1: with impossible meat and a salad a couple weeks ago.
Speaker 1: Klin has many obsessions that she'll like, buy a super
Speaker 1: cool spaghetti maker, and she'll use a couple of times,
Speaker 1: and then she'd be like, I'm on my next thing.
Speaker 1: I'm on to coffee grinding now, I'm onto my next thing.
Speaker 1: I'm onto panini pressing now. She got She's got a
Speaker 1: lot of interests um and so she likes using them
Speaker 1: and cooking for us. That's part of like being a
Speaker 1: homeowner and growing your kitchen. I'm saying, I'm saying it's
Speaker 1: a great thing. I think it's a great thing. I
Speaker 1: like that when you I like when you get a
Speaker 1: new utensil or whatever it is, because appliance, because it
Speaker 1: means that you're going to cook a delicious meal for us.
Speaker 1: Pasta was like if that was delicious? She always she's
Speaker 1: always so critical of herself. I thought it was the
Speaker 1: best meal I've ever had in my entire life. And
Speaker 1: I had to tell her that twenty times before she
Speaker 1: started to even believe me. A tiny little bit pasta
Speaker 1: seems really hard to make. That seems like something a
Speaker 1: factory has to do, you know, So the fact he
Speaker 1: did it at all, I'm extremely impressed. Yeah. What do
Speaker 1: you think our red flags look out for when dating?
Speaker 1: Mm hmm you have first what are some red flags
Speaker 1: that you saw in me that you look past, that
Speaker 1: you just overlooked? Well? I mean, um, he specifically like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know you had been on we met on Paradise,
Speaker 1: you had been on Paradise before, was very nervous to
Speaker 1: date you on that show, as you should have been,
Speaker 1: and that was a red flag I overlooked. Why Why
Speaker 1: did I overlook it? Why was it a red flag?
Speaker 1: You know, you like dating someone and then a new
Speaker 1: shiny thing came down and he started dating her. Oh
Speaker 1: so you're saying, my first stint on Paradise was the
Speaker 1: red flag, not me being on Paradise the second time? First? Okay, sure,
Speaker 1: so I overlooked that. You overlooked it or you just
Speaker 1: looked you could see the heart of gold within me? Yeah,
Speaker 1: so what did it? Did you overlook it or did
Speaker 1: you just see the true colors? I saw that colors eventually. Okay,
Speaker 1: so pretty quickly, I guess. Okay, so what was a
Speaker 1: question in Eastern are the red flags that you can
Speaker 1: look past. What red flags do you look for? Like? What, yeah,
Speaker 1: what should you be looking out for? I guess going
Speaker 1: on Bachelor in Paradise is a big one. Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: I guess, Like more generally speaking, my biggest red flag
Speaker 1: whenever I used to day obviously this is ages ago,
Speaker 1: was whenever anyone they wouldn't remember specifics about conversations that
Speaker 1: we had already had. And that's just that that's a
Speaker 1: red flag to me because that means that they're having
Speaker 1: a lot of similar conversations with a lot of other
Speaker 1: potential partners or prospects, whatever it might be. And I
Speaker 1: that's like one thing that I always like really picked
Speaker 1: up on. It was like really cute to pick up on.
Speaker 1: Two is because if they're asking like a question that
Speaker 1: you've already answered many times, then it's like they're they're playing.
Speaker 1: You know, you're just one of a number on the
Speaker 1: notch on their belt if you will, it's a good,
Speaker 1: good red of flag. Uh, let's see. It was it
Speaker 1: hard to adjust to moving in together when you guys
Speaker 1: did it, Um, you can go for it. I don't
Speaker 1: think it was actually we like we moved in together.
Speaker 1: Quote unquote in um in the middle of COVID. So
Speaker 1: he kind of moved into my place because of COVID,
Speaker 1: because he just had his van, and because it wasn't
Speaker 1: like officially like signing the lease together, it felt like
Speaker 1: it was less pressure. And I feel like it was
Speaker 1: a pretty easy adjustment. Um, just like, I'm not as
Speaker 1: clean as I want to be, and I like I
Speaker 1: can do as my own mess, but then having someone
Speaker 1: else's mess come in was a little bit of an adjustment.
Speaker 1: But we're learning, We're learning. I'm learning, we're learning. I mean,
Speaker 1: we are, we do be learning out here. You know,
Speaker 1: would you who's the messier of the two? Oh, well,
Speaker 1: that's an easy answer, that's an easy answer. No way,
Speaker 1: you're the messiest person. She's always so critical about me
Speaker 1: being messy. But then I look in the corner and
Speaker 1: there's two human tall stacks of clothes because and I'm like, hey, Kitleen,
Speaker 1: what's put this big stack close over? And she goes,
Speaker 1: she goes, oh, it's all organized. I just need to
Speaker 1: like hang them all up. Yes, exactly. Yeah. So if
Speaker 1: I'm like shooting stuff, or I have like something coming up,
Speaker 1: or i'm packing, like I just have to lay it
Speaker 1: all out and visualize it, try everything on because I'm crazy,
Speaker 1: and then it sits there before I actually pack it
Speaker 1: into some case. And the thing is, I'm fine with it. Like,
Speaker 1: I never criticize anything about the messages you make, except
Speaker 1: for when you criticize me for the mess that I make,
Speaker 1: because I'm not the cleanest person either. Don't get me wrong,
Speaker 1: I know that I'm a little messy, but I don't
Speaker 1: like being called messy when there's a big mess that
Speaker 1: you made over in the corner, you know, But to me,
Speaker 1: it's not a mess. It's like I'm about to I'm
Speaker 1: about to travel, and that's all my travel. C Oh,
Speaker 1: so you're gonna bring five checked bags with you to
Speaker 1: four days in Monterey practice. Obviously I'm exaggerating to prove
Speaker 1: a point, but but I would say we're equal, equally messy.
Speaker 1: I don't want to open an old wound. But I
Speaker 1: was thinking back to Dean spilling the black paint on
Speaker 1: the floor, and like, I just picture that Dean has
Speaker 1: more of those kind of messes for sure, for sure,
Speaker 1: and that's totally justified, and I'll totally accept all responsibility
Speaker 1: for that type of mess. But Caitlin like kept getting
Speaker 1: upset with me too, and again totally justified for her
Speaker 1: cup set with me for a lot of those mistakes
Speaker 1: like spilling paint and stuff, and I had to keep reminding.
Speaker 1: I was like, Calin, like, I've never done this before.
Speaker 1: I've never painted a room before, I've never done any
Speaker 1: of this stuff. So like I'm still learning like the
Speaker 1: process into it. And I hope, I always hope that
Speaker 1: was enough to like justify me making those like tiny
Speaker 1: because it wasn't me making a mess. It was just
Speaker 1: me making like silly little airs, you know. Yeah, And
Speaker 1: that's something I suggs about two sometimes because we have
Speaker 1: all white furniture and he'll be eating like spaghetti on
Speaker 1: the couch and I'm like, be careful, and then I
Speaker 1: end up being the one who spills and he's like
Speaker 1: your climb sues and me. So I think I project
Speaker 1: a lot, yeah, well terms of yeah, I talk about
Speaker 1: projecting a lot for sure. She definitely gets really angry
Speaker 1: when I picked my nose in her car too. Oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, that is like again, do you pick it
Speaker 1: into my d M s If your partner picks their nose,
Speaker 1: do you pick your nose in front of people ever know,
Speaker 1: thank you, thank you, and flicking boogers? Are you kidding me?
Speaker 1: I don't flick them. I saw I'm flicking them at you.
Speaker 1: I'm flicking them away from people. I'm like saving people.
Speaker 1: The trouble of them having boogers flicked at that is
Speaker 1: it leaving the car, rolling the window down and flicking
Speaker 1: it out, or you just sometime Well, let's say, if
Speaker 1: you're on the state and you're going ninety miles an hour,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to roll the winter down and then
Speaker 1: there'd be like in a freaking sonic boom chamber or something.
Speaker 1: Just use a tissue. Yeah, well, I I have a
Speaker 1: lot of boogers and there's nothing I can do about it.
Speaker 1: He always, he always says, stop booker shaming me. So
Speaker 1: many bookers in my nose. Why would you book shame?
Speaker 1: Get booker shamed all the time. Use a tissue. So
Speaker 1: the thing is about boogers when you're when you have
Speaker 1: the genetics that I have, these boogers cannot be blown
Speaker 1: out of your nose. They have to be surgically removed.
Speaker 1: The fingers says, they're super strong bookers. They're so strong.
Speaker 1: I've got a lot of hair up there, and every
Speaker 1: booker is intertwined with like seventeen nose hairs, and so
Speaker 1: I've got to pluck them out. This goes back to
Speaker 1: me saying that whatever Deed does, he's never wrong. It's
Speaker 1: not that I'm wrong about it, it's that you. I'm
Speaker 1: looking for a little empathy here, Like I know you
Speaker 1: can't understand where I'm coming from because you don't have
Speaker 1: these horrible to talk about, these crazy bookers. He would say,
Speaker 1: I've never seen a case like yours before. This is
Speaker 1: the most extreme case of booker O since I've ever
Speaker 1: seen in my entire life. With your very sterile finger, Well,
Speaker 1: this has been eye opening, This has been enlightening. This
Speaker 1: has been a learning experience for all of us. But
Speaker 1: I think we have to I think, all right, well,
Speaker 1: you know what, guys, I do could think that we've
Speaker 1: talked enough about all things boogers and just everything else
Speaker 1: we've talked about on this podcast. Golf. Um, let's just
Speaker 1: go ahead and forget like this ever even happened. What
Speaker 1: do you say that's gonna do it? For this week's
Speaker 1: episode of Help I Suck at Dating, We've got a
Speaker 1: couple of special episodes coming up for you this week.
Speaker 1: Don Davis is joining us later on and we're gonna
Speaker 1: I guess We've already checked in with Jared Haben at
Speaker 1: this point about his newborn little baby boy, So if
Speaker 1: you have to listen to that episode, go back and
Speaker 1: give it a listen on Spotify, iTunes, i hear radio,
Speaker 1: wherever you get your podcast, be sure to check it
Speaker 1: out and be sure to tune in next episode where
Speaker 1: maybe We're gonna suck just a little bit less. Follow
Speaker 1: help by Suck at Dating on I Heart Radio or
Speaker 1: wherever you listen to podcast