WEBVTT - Speed Dating with Dean & Caelynn 0:00:00.480 --> 0:00:04.640 Hell I Suck a Dating with Dengler and Jared Haven 0:00:04.920 --> 0:00:11.360 and I heart radio podcast. What's going on? Everyone? Welcome 0:00:11.400 --> 0:00:14.960 to an all new episode of Help I Suck at 0:00:15.120 --> 0:00:19.760 Dating and Boy oh boy, do we have an incredibly 0:00:19.800 --> 0:00:22.919 special episode for you today. Not only did our beloved 0:00:23.160 --> 0:00:27.360 Jared habn It just have his very sweet little baby boy, 0:00:27.440 --> 0:00:33.120 Dawson's Creek Haben, born on February no January two, but 0:00:33.200 --> 0:00:37.959 we also have everyone's favorite favorite co host joining us 0:00:38.000 --> 0:00:41.960 this week. Um, it's not an least, it's not it's 0:00:41.960 --> 0:00:45.199 not Kelly, it's not Kelsey, it's none of them. It 0:00:45.479 --> 0:00:50.000 is the one and only Kylen Miller Keys. Hello. I 0:00:50.040 --> 0:00:52.360 think I can't be your favorite if I've never co 0:00:52.479 --> 0:00:56.560 hosted before. Well you're my favorite. So welcome to the podcast. 0:00:56.640 --> 0:01:00.160 Thank you for joining us this week. Um, you know, 0:01:00.760 --> 0:01:02.760 I I think we both made a point of it 0:01:02.800 --> 0:01:05.319 early on in our relationship to not do many joint 0:01:05.319 --> 0:01:10.280 interview joint media appearances together. That mostly probably was me 0:01:10.440 --> 0:01:13.920 deciding that because I just hate I just hate the 0:01:13.920 --> 0:01:16.040 way that people like look into it and read into 0:01:16.120 --> 0:01:20.560 it and scrutinize. You also hate talking about chemistry. Oh, 0:01:20.640 --> 0:01:24.000 I also just I just really what it really what 0:01:24.040 --> 0:01:26.240 it really boils down to, is I just hate like 0:01:26.280 --> 0:01:30.200 the performative nature of a couple being on a public 0:01:30.240 --> 0:01:35.560 media outlet because because think about it, like, what are 0:01:35.560 --> 0:01:39.520 you expected to do just like be giddy, head over heels, 0:01:39.920 --> 0:01:43.200 NonStop gushing about each other, right, and then your response 0:01:43.280 --> 0:01:45.720 then is to kind of like shut down, and then 0:01:45.720 --> 0:01:47.840 people think that you don't actually love me and you'll 0:01:47.840 --> 0:01:50.840 never say you love me, and headlines come from that, 0:01:51.040 --> 0:01:52.800 and I'll tell you what, It's worked out pretty well 0:01:52.880 --> 0:01:57.280 up There's definitely been a lot of negative headlines written 0:01:57.280 --> 0:01:59.640 about the dumb things that I say for good reason. 0:01:59.640 --> 0:02:01.680 Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that they were. 0:02:02.200 --> 0:02:05.080 I'll justified. They do take my stuff out of context 0:02:05.080 --> 0:02:08.120 all the time. That's totally fine. It's totally fine. It's 0:02:08.160 --> 0:02:10.480 totally fine. And if you want to know why it's fine, 0:02:10.520 --> 0:02:12.960 it's fine because at the end of the day, you 0:02:13.000 --> 0:02:14.880 know what's real and what isn't real or not real. 0:02:14.960 --> 0:02:17.120 But like, you know how I feel, not just like 0:02:17.120 --> 0:02:18.960 some out of context US Weekly article I was going 0:02:19.040 --> 0:02:21.360 to tell you how to feel. So anyways, all that 0:02:21.440 --> 0:02:24.520 to say, yes, I this is enjoyable, don't get me wrong. 0:02:24.880 --> 0:02:26.920 But if I, if it were really up to me 0:02:27.120 --> 0:02:29.639 in a perfect universe, it would still be me in 0:02:29.720 --> 0:02:34.079 Jared today. Yeah, I mean I for all of those 0:02:34.080 --> 0:02:38.080 reasons that I just stated, Dean hates having Kady. Yeah, 0:02:38.120 --> 0:02:40.040 I mean, sure, run with it if you want to. 0:02:40.480 --> 0:02:42.000 I mean, look, it's great having you here, but it's 0:02:42.040 --> 0:02:43.520 the same reason like I don't want to be on 0:02:43.560 --> 0:02:45.520 your YouTube, which, by the way, if you're listening to 0:02:45.520 --> 0:02:47.320 this episode of help I start tore Dating, be sure 0:02:47.320 --> 0:02:51.079 to check out Kaylin's YouTube channel. What is your keys 0:02:51.160 --> 0:02:53.160 is just my name? Yeah? Yeah, okay, so Klin Miller 0:02:53.240 --> 0:02:56.679 Keys on YouTube. If she makes fantastic YouTube videos, go 0:02:56.840 --> 0:02:59.880 check him out. Um. But yeah, I just don't like it. 0:03:00.120 --> 0:03:01.640 I know, I know you don't. I'm just giving you 0:03:01.639 --> 0:03:04.160 a hard time. And I agree. It's not like the 0:03:04.280 --> 0:03:06.799 nature of our relationship to talk about our relationship. It's 0:03:06.880 --> 0:03:09.359 just we just live it out. It's not even talking 0:03:09.400 --> 0:03:11.720 about our relationship like I could talk about our relationship 0:03:11.720 --> 0:03:14.120 without you here. I know. But it's with me that's 0:03:14.120 --> 0:03:16.320 the issue. Yeah, it is an issue. And I'll tell 0:03:16.360 --> 0:03:18.160 you what one of my biggest pet peeves in the 0:03:18.280 --> 0:03:22.640 entire universe is is when you see the new Bachelor 0:03:22.760 --> 0:03:25.760 and his first pick come off the show, and like 0:03:25.800 --> 0:03:28.160 they're expected to like gush about each other and tell 0:03:28.200 --> 0:03:30.120 everyone how head over heels in love with each other 0:03:30.120 --> 0:03:31.800 they are, even if they just came off of a 0:03:31.840 --> 0:03:34.320 big fight. Yeah, and even if they like still are 0:03:34.400 --> 0:03:36.240 learning so much about each other. So it's just like 0:03:36.280 --> 0:03:41.160 it's it's just annoying to me and sorry I'm here. Yeah, 0:03:41.400 --> 0:03:46.600 thank you for apologizing, um and so so so that's 0:03:46.640 --> 0:03:48.839 kind of I mean, obviously it's no secret because I 0:03:48.880 --> 0:03:50.440 think we mentioned that at the very beginning of our 0:03:50.480 --> 0:03:57.320 relationship to years and like seven months ago. Uh oh yeah, 0:03:57.600 --> 0:04:01.720 no one's counting though, um So, so if you send 0:04:01.720 --> 0:04:03.680 some of that today, just like you know, just kind 0:04:03.680 --> 0:04:06.560 of understand. I think that's the issue. People think sometimes 0:04:06.560 --> 0:04:09.520 you really are just so disinterested in me, but you 0:04:09.600 --> 0:04:13.040 just hate me being here in present for talking about 0:04:13.080 --> 0:04:16.440 our relationship and like you're not a gushy person, Well 0:04:16.440 --> 0:04:18.440 what about you? Are you a gushy person? Can be? 0:04:19.000 --> 0:04:21.680 Well gush, go ahead and gush. What am I gonna 0:04:21.680 --> 0:04:25.640 gush about you? If you want? Know, Alison has been 0:04:25.680 --> 0:04:27.960 acting up today, but I can't gush about you. You 0:04:28.000 --> 0:04:31.760 are a great partner. You're sweet, you're funny, you're handsome. 0:04:33.200 --> 0:04:36.719 What I'll tell you what I'll answer that phone call. 0:04:36.760 --> 0:04:41.000 I don't know. You keep seventies phone call. We keep 0:04:41.080 --> 0:04:44.880 entertaining our podcast listeners. All I can gush more about DNS. 0:04:44.920 --> 0:04:49.280 He answers the phone Ben Higgins room. Happen to help you, 0:04:50.200 --> 0:04:53.680 Dean is Higgs. We're in Ben Higgins room right now 0:04:54.120 --> 0:04:57.360 recording this podcast because we weren't able to get into 0:04:57.360 --> 0:05:00.520 our room. Ten's answering Ben's phone. Well, Ben away, probably 0:05:00.560 --> 0:05:04.240 grabbing lunch by And how's the room so far? Are 0:05:04.240 --> 0:05:09.000 you enjoying it? Yeah? Old and quaint. Yeah, that's that's 0:05:09.000 --> 0:05:15.200 the best kinds seems haunted haunted. Have you had a 0:05:15.240 --> 0:05:19.640 paranormal experience yet? Not here, But Dean took me to 0:05:19.880 --> 0:05:23.760 a hotel in his hometown like last year, and that 0:05:23.920 --> 0:05:26.040 was very haunted. And he like went on tours in 0:05:26.120 --> 0:05:28.240 high school because it was like a like a haunted 0:05:28.279 --> 0:05:33.760 tour field trips. I guess hello, I returned, caln Is 0:05:33.760 --> 0:05:35.560 telling me about this haunted hotel. You took her too 0:05:35.600 --> 0:05:38.719 in Colorado. I was a little disappointed in her inability 0:05:38.760 --> 0:05:41.159 to keep the conversation flowing while I stepped away for 0:05:41.200 --> 0:05:43.159 a moment, nary what was going on, but you would 0:05:43.200 --> 0:05:45.840 talk so loud. You know, Kaylin was a broadcast journalism 0:05:45.839 --> 0:05:50.839 major at Virginia Commonwealth University. Wow, I certainly was go Rams, 0:05:51.480 --> 0:05:54.760 Go Ram's baby. Uh No, I could hear that that 0:05:54.800 --> 0:05:57.640 broadcast confidence in your voice, Kaalen when you I wish 0:05:57.680 --> 0:05:59.599 you would come on this podcast more because we actually 0:05:59.680 --> 0:06:02.440 we need trained media professional here every now and again. 0:06:03.600 --> 0:06:05.240 You just got doing over here. You want to show 0:06:05.320 --> 0:06:07.760 up on time. I just wish Calin had more confidence 0:06:07.800 --> 0:06:10.680 to just project more rights. It's there, it's just all 0:06:10.680 --> 0:06:12.200 want to take. All it needs to do is break 0:06:12.200 --> 0:06:16.400 through a little bit of uncertainty to bust through that. 0:06:16.440 --> 0:06:19.599 It's it's it's it's movie magic. Put a script in 0:06:19.640 --> 0:06:23.640 my hands and welcome back to w TVR CBS six. 0:06:23.720 --> 0:06:25.680 I'm kil Miller Keys, I'm your host for this evening. 0:06:25.760 --> 0:06:27.520 Do you think Erin and has a script on the 0:06:27.560 --> 0:06:31.520 sideline reporter? Yes, I've actually got a blueprint and what 0:06:31.640 --> 0:06:34.080 you're supposed to say. But okay, I've got a blueprint 0:06:34.080 --> 0:06:36.320 for you here. Like, come on, why don't you just 0:06:36.440 --> 0:06:39.159 give us a little life update, Kalen? Like Philliston on 0:06:39.160 --> 0:06:41.480 what's going on with you? A little life update. So 0:06:41.720 --> 0:06:44.960 we got Alistair about two months ago myself. Sure people 0:06:44.960 --> 0:06:46.720 already know that it's more like less of us and 0:06:46.800 --> 0:06:50.760 more of you. Um. I just haven't really been doing 0:06:50.800 --> 0:06:53.279 too much. Been working on some things behind the scenes, 0:06:53.400 --> 0:06:56.400 and uh, working on our house NonStop. Our house is 0:06:56.480 --> 0:06:59.640 just like an ongoing project and takes up a lot 0:06:59.720 --> 0:07:01.800 of time. I'm and I feel like that's all I've 0:07:01.839 --> 0:07:04.359 been really focused on lately, and trying to find a 0:07:04.360 --> 0:07:06.520 trainer for Alistair because he bit me in the face. 0:07:07.320 --> 0:07:12.480 So tell us about the bite. Yes, So Alistair bit 0:07:12.600 --> 0:07:16.280 my face two weeks ago. And he's the sweetest dog 0:07:16.320 --> 0:07:18.400 in the world. But he's like very very protective over 0:07:18.520 --> 0:07:20.600 Diana and I. And that wasn't even the situation with 0:07:20.760 --> 0:07:24.000 the bite. He just was scared of this German shepherd 0:07:24.240 --> 0:07:28.200 and I was an uninformed dog parent and picked him up. 0:07:28.880 --> 0:07:33.000 And when they're in a fearful mode, they're just in 0:07:33.040 --> 0:07:35.440 their animal mode. So he attacked and bit my face. 0:07:35.960 --> 0:07:38.560 I had like four or five stitches. It wasn't that bad. 0:07:38.840 --> 0:07:42.560 There are plenty of dog bites that are much much worse. Um, 0:07:42.600 --> 0:07:45.240 but it was scary. So I now the past few 0:07:45.280 --> 0:07:47.360 weeks have just been really focused on finding a trainer 0:07:47.680 --> 0:07:49.520 that isn't going to use shot colors on him, that 0:07:49.560 --> 0:07:51.880 isn't going to like abuse him in any way. And 0:07:51.880 --> 0:07:53.760 I know trainers say obviously they would never say, like 0:07:53.760 --> 0:07:56.600 we're going to abuse their your dog, but I don't know. 0:07:56.760 --> 0:07:59.480 I just like I want to make sure he he's 0:07:59.520 --> 0:08:02.000 like taking I have and he's trained right now, We're 0:08:02.040 --> 0:08:04.720 in Carmel, and he's just barking at every single person 0:08:04.760 --> 0:08:07.640 in every single animal. So I just wanted to be 0:08:07.680 --> 0:08:11.240 well behaved. That's what I've been focused on. Okay, yep, 0:08:12.680 --> 0:08:15.560 that was a long explanation of alistair. But what else 0:08:15.600 --> 0:08:18.400 is going on with you? Just the house, like I said, 0:08:18.560 --> 0:08:20.520 just working on the house, making sure our house is 0:08:21.200 --> 0:08:24.560 finally finished. It's almost been a year. But our backyard 0:08:24.640 --> 0:08:27.920 is like a continued process. And what have you been 0:08:28.000 --> 0:08:30.600 up to? Golf? I mean, I'm not I'm not the 0:08:30.600 --> 0:08:32.880 one on trial here. I just feel embarrassed. I'm not 0:08:32.880 --> 0:08:35.440 really doing that much. I feel every single day of 0:08:35.440 --> 0:08:39.880 the week. Um yeah, I mean, I guess I I 0:08:40.600 --> 0:08:42.760 we talked about this actually pretty often. I don't think 0:08:43.160 --> 0:08:44.520 I think it's kind of a cop out for us 0:08:44.520 --> 0:08:47.840 to hire a trainer for Alistair. It's actually been a 0:08:47.880 --> 0:08:51.120 point of contention in our relationship over the past twitter 0:08:51.120 --> 0:08:54.360 ten hours or so. I want to train him on 0:08:54.400 --> 0:08:59.319 my own. Caitlin and I both have very, very different parenting. 0:09:00.360 --> 0:09:02.400 I want to know if people out there have ever 0:09:02.440 --> 0:09:04.520 trained their dogs like this, this common, or do people 0:09:04.559 --> 0:09:06.360 typically hired trainers. So if you want to slide into 0:09:06.400 --> 0:09:08.200 our d M S no, I want to hear the 0:09:08.200 --> 0:09:10.400 people's response. I would say, if you were to pull 0:09:10.440 --> 0:09:14.640 a hundred people that have dogs, I would say seventy 0:09:15.120 --> 0:09:17.240 of them or oh my gosh, this is what Dean does. 0:09:19.360 --> 0:09:23.000 Alistair's he's an older dog, right, so Alisa is our 0:09:23.040 --> 0:09:25.680 second senior risk. Yeah, he's nine. You know there's a 0:09:25.720 --> 0:09:31.400 phrase about teaching an old dog new tricks. Yeah you can't. 0:09:31.440 --> 0:09:34.480 You can't do it, they say, Um, I wanted to. 0:09:34.880 --> 0:09:37.640 I just feel like training a dog is hard, and 0:09:37.679 --> 0:09:40.120 then when they're at an advanced stage, it gets harder. 0:09:40.760 --> 0:09:43.720 We have an older dog and we've definitely trained him. 0:09:44.200 --> 0:09:46.440 We've trained him to freak out when we leave the 0:09:46.480 --> 0:09:50.440 house and go hide under the couch and um, and 0:09:50.480 --> 0:09:53.280 we have trained him to uh want to eat what 0:09:53.400 --> 0:09:58.800 we're eating, but um, nothing productive, So I'm interested. He's 0:09:58.880 --> 0:10:03.720 learning new tricks as an older dog, which is simply 0:10:03.840 --> 0:10:08.040 defeating the what is it the stigma, that's what it 0:10:08.120 --> 0:10:09.920 is of that old dogs can't learn new tricks. It 0:10:09.920 --> 0:10:11.960 sounds like your old dog learn all these great new 0:10:12.000 --> 0:10:14.839 tricks that you hate. Yes, yes he did, whether or 0:10:14.880 --> 0:10:18.400 not I wanted to train that way. But what do 0:10:18.440 --> 0:10:20.760 you need to train him to do? What's what's on 0:10:20.800 --> 0:10:24.120 the list? Um? Well, he gets very emotional around other dogs. 0:10:24.200 --> 0:10:28.640 He freaks out, he barks, he lunges, not even just dogs. 0:10:28.640 --> 0:10:30.560 If someone walks a little too quickly in his direction, 0:10:30.600 --> 0:10:33.320 he'll get a little upset about it. Um if someone 0:10:33.400 --> 0:10:35.480 rides a bicycle or even as driving a car down 0:10:35.480 --> 0:10:38.240 the street, he'll get a little upset. But if no 0:10:38.240 --> 0:10:40.600 one moved or did anything, he'd be a pretty well 0:10:40.640 --> 0:10:44.680 behaved dog. Um. But I I'm kind of in the 0:10:44.720 --> 0:10:49.480 camp of like we should train ourselves. And I'm also 0:10:49.520 --> 0:10:52.800 in the camp of the owner's energy is reflected by 0:10:52.840 --> 0:11:00.480 the dog. And um, um, do you think I'm stressed 0:11:00.480 --> 0:11:03.200 around him? So I'm causing his stress? Which is yes, 0:11:03.480 --> 0:11:05.800 she did. I have anxiety because he just bit my 0:11:05.800 --> 0:11:07.840 face and I had to get stitches. It's totally fine. 0:11:07.880 --> 0:11:10.600 I totally understand it. But when you're on edge around 0:11:10.600 --> 0:11:13.360 a dog that's already on edge, you're being on edge 0:11:13.400 --> 0:11:16.000 is going to like set him over the top. And 0:11:16.080 --> 0:11:18.080 that's just my opinion. I could be wrong. I just 0:11:18.120 --> 0:11:19.960 think that, like we need to take a step back 0:11:20.040 --> 0:11:22.600 and I'll take deep breaths together, me, you and Alistair. 0:11:23.240 --> 0:11:25.120 My fear is that he's going to bite someone else. 0:11:25.160 --> 0:11:28.040 We're going to get sued. Someone is going to have 0:11:28.120 --> 0:11:30.280 a way worse bite than I did. I just want 0:11:30.320 --> 0:11:32.120 to prevent that. I mean, he's tasted human blood now, 0:11:32.200 --> 0:11:37.160 you know, like he's a vampire. Yeah, yeah, I mean, listen, 0:11:37.200 --> 0:11:41.080 I get it. It's it's interesting to see because Caitlin's already' 0:11:41.080 --> 0:11:44.280 already admitted to like being a helicopter parent, and I've 0:11:44.800 --> 0:11:47.280 am definitely the opposite of that, and so it's interesting 0:11:47.280 --> 0:11:51.600 to see the difference in our perspective parenting styles because they're, uh, 0:11:51.679 --> 0:11:54.280 they're they're they're on the opposite side of the spectrum. 0:11:54.360 --> 0:11:56.440 But it's better than us both being lax parents, are 0:11:56.440 --> 0:11:59.200 both being helicopter parents. I disagree. I think I think 0:11:59.240 --> 0:12:01.400 if you're both re lack parents. We would have you 0:12:01.480 --> 0:12:05.800 four your kids. Yeah, no, that's not true. We would 0:12:05.800 --> 0:12:08.480 have like Gossip Girl kids. That's even worse. Oh it's 0:12:08.480 --> 0:12:11.720 not worse, but it's bad there. They'd be like highly intelligent, 0:12:12.200 --> 0:12:16.200 I'm fully sentient teenagers that are just like going through 0:12:16.240 --> 0:12:19.320 life acting like forty five year old Wall Street bankers, 0:12:19.360 --> 0:12:21.599 but they're really sixteen year old girls. It doesn't I 0:12:21.640 --> 0:12:23.720 don't understand, really, gossip Girl, that's just kind of how 0:12:23.720 --> 0:12:27.160 I imagine it. Um so, yeah, I mean I don't 0:12:27.160 --> 0:12:28.640 know Easter, And what about you? How do you guys 0:12:28.720 --> 0:12:31.840 have any conflicting parenting styles with your guys? Dog? Yeah, yeah, 0:12:31.840 --> 0:12:35.160 I'm I'm a helicopter parent for sure, and like because 0:12:35.440 --> 0:12:37.400 my dog is very well behaved, but he doesn't get 0:12:37.400 --> 0:12:41.080 along with other dogs. And my attitude was, he's like 0:12:41.080 --> 0:12:43.720 twelve years old, you know, so much longer as he 0:12:43.760 --> 0:12:45.480 just wants to hang out alone, why do we need 0:12:45.520 --> 0:12:49.080 to subject him to their dogs? And uh, but my 0:12:49.120 --> 0:12:51.920 wife has tried to socialize him with some of like 0:12:51.920 --> 0:12:53.440 it would be nice so our friends could bring their 0:12:53.480 --> 0:12:55.120 dogs over and he could hang out, or we could 0:12:55.120 --> 0:12:57.679 get him a friend or something. And every single time 0:12:57.720 --> 0:12:59.360 we do it I just freak out because I'm like, 0:12:59.400 --> 0:13:01.640 he's going to this bomber, you need to shreds and 0:13:01.640 --> 0:13:04.640 I don't want to watch it happen. Um, and I'm 0:13:04.640 --> 0:13:06.600 afraid to let him off the leash anywhere. Like we 0:13:06.600 --> 0:13:08.680 we went to the beach and uh for the first 0:13:08.720 --> 0:13:11.440 time last year, and like we let him off. We 0:13:11.440 --> 0:13:13.360 were in like a secluded beach. It was in the 0:13:13.400 --> 0:13:16.160 middle Catalan island. There's no one around, and I was 0:13:16.200 --> 0:13:20.000 still just like I just black my microphene. I'm I'm 0:13:20.040 --> 0:13:23.960 nervous now. It's it's manifesting itself now. Uh. He's sleeping 0:13:23.960 --> 0:13:25.320 in a little bed next to me and I'm just 0:13:25.360 --> 0:13:27.520 nervously never gonna wake up. It's the worst. But my 0:13:27.520 --> 0:13:30.840 wife is very hands off and very much what's gonna 0:13:30.840 --> 0:13:32.360 happen is going to happen. And I think it's a 0:13:32.360 --> 0:13:35.160 good balance. I think, do you think it's I do? 0:13:35.440 --> 0:13:37.240 I do? I think I think you need to have 0:13:37.320 --> 0:13:41.360 those conflicting viewpoints because I think through that you will 0:13:41.400 --> 0:13:44.640 find a medium, the middle path, which is the right 0:13:44.720 --> 0:13:47.800 way to go. But don't you think it's okay? So 0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:50.560 this is my only beef with the two conflicting parenting styles. 0:13:50.800 --> 0:13:53.360 Is when Alice is around me and I'm trying to 0:13:53.400 --> 0:13:55.480 like teach him certain things for a couple of days, 0:13:55.720 --> 0:13:57.400 all of that goes out the window when he spends 0:13:57.400 --> 0:13:59.200 three days along with Kaylin and she's trying to teach 0:13:59.280 --> 0:14:02.640 him things in a different way. Um, you know, same thing, 0:14:02.679 --> 0:14:05.680 but different style, and all of the progress gets lost immediately. 0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:08.000 I mean, that's true, and I can see that happening. 0:14:08.520 --> 0:14:11.240 I think when you have opposing viewpoints, the key is 0:14:11.280 --> 0:14:14.719 to find compromise in certain areas. That's the you know, 0:14:14.920 --> 0:14:20.600 but we don't compromise in this relationship. So I'm not 0:14:20.720 --> 0:14:23.120 saying that at all. I'm saying, why would you compromise. 0:14:23.160 --> 0:14:24.920 We try to go we find as many win win 0:14:25.000 --> 0:14:30.320 situations as we possibly can. Yeah, exactly. The The important 0:14:30.320 --> 0:14:34.000 distinction between win win win is I've one having successfully 0:14:34.000 --> 0:14:38.320 moderated this win win agreement. My point is win win 0:14:38.440 --> 0:14:42.800 win sounds like just win. For Dean. I went all 0:14:42.840 --> 0:14:45.480 three times because I was right, I got my way, 0:14:45.560 --> 0:14:58.760 and now I'm happy the next three wins. What else 0:14:58.760 --> 0:14:59.920 do we want to talk about? You said, I have 0:15:00.080 --> 0:15:02.040 glad you're here because you know how you know how 0:15:02.120 --> 0:15:04.320 challenging it is for me to run an entire episode 0:15:04.320 --> 0:15:05.760 by myself. And as great as it is, they have 0:15:05.840 --> 0:15:09.800 Kalen here. Um, you know it's it's so rare we 0:15:09.840 --> 0:15:11.920 get kalin here. I'm trying to like, I want to 0:15:12.000 --> 0:15:17.040 use this time appropriately. I want to take advantage. Um Kalin. Yeah, 0:15:17.720 --> 0:15:20.560 what what do you hate about Dean? What's your least 0:15:20.600 --> 0:15:23.960 favorite thing about him? Right now? This is a really 0:15:23.960 --> 0:15:25.800 opportune time to ask you that question because there's a 0:15:25.840 --> 0:15:30.920 lot of stuff on the surface. Oh hate about Dean. 0:15:30.960 --> 0:15:34.400 I don't hate anything about Dean. I just tell him 0:15:34.400 --> 0:15:41.320 some of the things you told me last night. You're insane. Um, 0:15:41.400 --> 0:15:48.160 I justli his Uh. You can say what you can say, 0:15:48.160 --> 0:15:51.520 whatever you want to say. Dean loves his friends, which 0:15:51.560 --> 0:15:54.120 I do love, but like he really loves his girlfriends. 0:15:54.440 --> 0:15:57.120 And if he's golfing, he'll golf eighteen holes and then 0:15:57.160 --> 0:15:59.440 he's having so much fun that'll golf eighteen more holes 0:15:59.640 --> 0:16:01.640 and then f s time whole golf nine more holes 0:16:02.400 --> 0:16:06.440 and sounds miserable. And it's just like if we have plans, 0:16:06.720 --> 0:16:09.680 I know, I then have to be a helicopter girlfriend 0:16:09.720 --> 0:16:11.800 and call and be like you left right, you left right? Oh, 0:16:11.840 --> 0:16:14.360 you haven't left, but you know we have this you know. 0:16:14.520 --> 0:16:17.040 Oh wait, do we ever have plans after I'm golfing? Though? No, 0:16:17.120 --> 0:16:20.160 we do? You have done that's my that's my plans. 0:16:20.280 --> 0:16:23.360 We very plan. Do you follow each other's location on 0:16:23.400 --> 0:16:28.920 your phone? Yes, we do, but you're still in so right. 0:16:28.960 --> 0:16:30.840 But when Dean says he's left and then it spent 0:16:30.880 --> 0:16:32.800 an hour and he's still at the golf course, okay. 0:16:32.800 --> 0:16:35.160 But here's my here's my argument against that is I 0:16:35.160 --> 0:16:37.080 would weigh rather And this is how I've lived my 0:16:37.120 --> 0:16:38.680 life for the past thirty years. And I'll tell you 0:16:38.680 --> 0:16:40.400 what it's worked pretty gosh darn well from me up 0:16:40.440 --> 0:16:43.239 until now. Is I am always an ask for forgiveness, 0:16:43.240 --> 0:16:45.440 not for permission kind of guy. So when Killen's like, yeah, 0:16:45.440 --> 0:16:46.960 we'll be home by one, and I know for a 0:16:47.040 --> 0:16:49.040 fact I will not be home by one, I'll just 0:16:49.040 --> 0:16:50.840 be like, yeah, I'll be home by one. And then 0:16:50.840 --> 0:16:54.400 she calls me at five and she says, hey, have 0:16:54.480 --> 0:16:56.080 you left yet, And I'd be like, oh, my gosh, 0:16:56.080 --> 0:16:57.440 we have got one more holes to go and around 0:16:57.520 --> 0:17:00.360 hole twelve. And then I get home and it's three 0:17:00.400 --> 0:17:02.160 pm and she's like, why are you two hours late? 0:17:02.200 --> 0:17:03.840 I'm like Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Golf took 0:17:03.840 --> 0:17:05.680 a little bit longer tay, which it normally does. Don't 0:17:05.680 --> 0:17:08.880 get me wrong, but yeah, maybe it's a maybe it's 0:17:08.880 --> 0:17:13.240 a breakdown and communication toxic. Oh my god, tell me 0:17:13.560 --> 0:17:15.840 tell me how a toxic? That's a little harsh. No, 0:17:16.080 --> 0:17:19.200 tell me that's great. Can't just say like little little 0:17:19.200 --> 0:17:22.520 things like yeah, I mean I'm leaving and you haven't left. 0:17:22.560 --> 0:17:26.360 I just I'm ridiculous. But he thinks he's right. Here 0:17:26.560 --> 0:17:28.520 here's the other thing. Do you always thinks he's right 0:17:28.560 --> 0:17:30.760 no matter what situation. Even if he knows he's wrong, 0:17:30.960 --> 0:17:33.600 he'll never admit it. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. 0:17:35.520 --> 0:17:37.280 I'm a yes man, And if you ask me a 0:17:37.320 --> 0:17:38.800 question like, oh, will you be done by this time? 0:17:38.840 --> 0:17:41.280 I'll be like yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes yes yes. 0:17:41.320 --> 0:17:42.840 I just like saying the word yes. It's my favorite 0:17:42.840 --> 0:17:46.160 word to say yes, yes, yes, yes yes. And if 0:17:46.400 --> 0:17:49.320 I Caitlin is like typing something to you right now, 0:17:49.320 --> 0:17:52.040 and I'm losing my train of thought and I just 0:17:52.080 --> 0:17:53.359 want to say yes. I want to say yes to 0:17:53.400 --> 0:17:55.200 her about everything, everything she wants for me. I just 0:17:55.240 --> 0:17:56.919 want to say yes too. And so she wants me 0:17:56.960 --> 0:17:58.640 to be done by one pm. Yes, maybe, of course 0:17:58.680 --> 0:18:01.760 I'll be done by one pm. Um, but then you know, 0:18:01.840 --> 0:18:03.760 sure enough, to thirty comes around and I'm still not done. 0:18:04.359 --> 0:18:06.680 So I'm sorry. That's just that's I'll stop saying yes 0:18:06.720 --> 0:18:09.240 as a frequently as I do. But let's move on 0:18:09.280 --> 0:18:11.280 to a different let's move on to a different subject soon. 0:18:11.320 --> 0:18:13.520 What do you say? Wait, one last thing. I'm just 0:18:13.640 --> 0:18:17.600 enjoying the psychoanalysis of Dean Imla Dean. Do you do 0:18:17.640 --> 0:18:21.760 you see yourself as a people pleaser? Um? Yes I do? 0:18:21.880 --> 0:18:27.960 Actually absolutely, yeah, I'm getting that sense. Yeah, Pa, I 0:18:27.960 --> 0:18:31.439 don't know, uh, like partially, but you also like do 0:18:31.480 --> 0:18:33.600 whatever you want. Even that means like it's not going 0:18:33.640 --> 0:18:35.680 to make them happy because like think about the podcast. 0:18:35.800 --> 0:18:39.239 You know, like when you're late to a podcast, you're 0:18:39.280 --> 0:18:41.760 not people pleasing. Then I'm like a selfish people pleaser. 0:18:41.840 --> 0:18:44.280 I always look out for myself first, but I always 0:18:44.280 --> 0:18:46.080 want to make sure that people are pleased around me. 0:18:46.160 --> 0:18:48.800 Is that fair? I've never thought of you as a 0:18:48.840 --> 0:18:52.040 people pleasing Oh, I mean, I'm a calin pleaser. I 0:18:52.080 --> 0:18:53.840 just want to make sure Caalen is happy all the time. 0:18:54.240 --> 0:18:58.359 Are you currently pleased calin Are you pleased? Are you please? 0:18:58.480 --> 0:19:03.080 Right now? I'm all right, you're just all right, that's 0:19:03.080 --> 0:19:10.639 a that's a hard no, I'm pleased you please, I'm please? Yeah, okay, 0:19:10.680 --> 0:19:12.800 are you at people please? Reason? Oh yeah, big time, 0:19:12.960 --> 0:19:15.840 big time. Yeah. I think most children are divorce are 0:19:15.920 --> 0:19:17.560 I just want everyone to be happy. I just want 0:19:17.560 --> 0:19:20.800 the fighting to stop and uh, you know, just do 0:19:20.960 --> 0:19:23.680 whatever anyone says all the time. But I also understand, 0:19:23.720 --> 0:19:26.480 like you know, when someone's like can you do this, 0:19:26.600 --> 0:19:28.399 and you're like, yes, I can, and even in your 0:19:28.440 --> 0:19:30.600 mind you're like, oh, that's not gonna happen. Like I 0:19:30.640 --> 0:19:33.159 think you like to live in that moment where it 0:19:33.240 --> 0:19:35.320 feels like I think, you know, I think you just 0:19:35.359 --> 0:19:37.320 made something click. For me, too, is whenever someone says 0:19:37.359 --> 0:19:39.399 can you do this? In my head, I'm like, listen, 0:19:39.560 --> 0:19:43.360 I can literally do everything. I can do anything and everything. 0:19:43.680 --> 0:19:45.359 Just tell me what and where to do it and 0:19:45.400 --> 0:19:47.760 it'll get done. And then like once it comes to 0:19:47.760 --> 0:19:50.200 the time, I'm like, oh crap, I definitely can't do that, 0:19:50.640 --> 0:19:54.199 you know. I think it's my own narcissistic ego in 0:19:54.240 --> 0:19:55.760 my head where I'm like, yeah, I can do I 0:19:55.800 --> 0:19:58.879 can be everywhere at any time I can be I 0:19:58.920 --> 0:20:00.800 am like this omnipotent each ye that can just do 0:20:00.840 --> 0:20:02.600 everything at all times. But sure enough, at the end 0:20:02.600 --> 0:20:04.800 of the day, I'm not that person. I don't when 0:20:04.920 --> 0:20:08.200 when he's stays to play extra golf or is late 0:20:08.200 --> 0:20:11.840 coming back, I don't think that's a Kalin matters less 0:20:11.880 --> 0:20:13.560 to me than this right now. I think it's a 0:20:14.119 --> 0:20:16.480 I want. I don't want to let Klin down. I 0:20:16.520 --> 0:20:18.040 also don't want to let my friends down. I don't 0:20:18.040 --> 0:20:20.160