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Speaker 1: Johnny, we have solved all of your holiday shopping stress

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Speaker 1: your needs because the holidays will sneak up fast, but

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Speaker 1: it's not too early to get your shopping done and

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Speaker 1: actually have fun with it. Uncommon Goods makes holidays shopping

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Speaker 1: stress free and joyful with thousands of one of a

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Speaker 1: kind gifts you can't find anywhere else. Uncommon Goods looks

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Speaker 1: for products that are high quality, unique, and often handmade

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Speaker 1: or made in the United States. Many are crafted by

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Speaker 1: you independent artists and small businesses. And because they're made

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Speaker 1: in small batches, they are the best fines. But they

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Speaker 1: can sell out fast, Johnny. What I found here. And

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Speaker 1: I'm telling you, Johnny right now, if you use a

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Speaker 1: promo code, I'm gonna tell you that in here. In

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Speaker 1: a second, this is what I want for Christmas.

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Speaker 2: Okay.

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Speaker 1: Uncommon Goods has a recycled skateboard display stand, so it

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Speaker 1: looks like a skateboard. It just sit on your desk,

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Speaker 1: sit on the bookshelf. I can put my laptop on it.

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Speaker 1: I can work on the show, Johnny, I could be working.

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Speaker 1: I could do your job. Frankly, and uh look like uh,

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Speaker 1: I got a little skateboard. I got a little skateboard

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Speaker 1: to work off of which you know I love, I love.

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Speaker 1: Even though I'm getting older, I too love a good

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Speaker 1: skate But this recycled skateboard is so cool and it's

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Speaker 1: just one of the many unique items that you can

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Speaker 1: find on Uncommon Goods. It has something for everyone, from

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Speaker 1: moms and dads to kids and teens. From book lovers,

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Speaker 1: history buffs, eric talking about you and die hard football

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Speaker 1: fans to foodies, mixologists and avid gardeners, you'll find thousands

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Speaker 1: of new gift ideas that you won't find anywhere else.

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Speaker 1: When you shop at uncommon Goods, you're supporting artists and

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Speaker 1: small independent businesses. Many of their handcrafted products are made

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Speaker 1: in small batches, so shot now before set. They sell

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Speaker 1: out this holiday season, and with every purchase you make

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Speaker 1: at uncommon Goods, they give back one dollar to a

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Speaker 1: nonprofit partner of your choice. They've donated more than three

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Speaker 1: million dollars to date. So shop early, have fun, and

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Speaker 1: cross some names off your list. To day get fifteen

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Speaker 1: percent off your next gift. Go to uncommon Goods dot

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Speaker 1: com slash laugh with me. That's uncommon Goods dot com

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Speaker 1: slash laugh with me for fifteen percent off don't miss

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Speaker 1: out on this limited time offer uncommon goods. We are

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Speaker 1: all out of the ordinary. Johnny, if you haven't told

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Speaker 1: everybody this is how you're doing your holiday shopping, you

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Speaker 1: really missed the boat. I mean, that's what That's why

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Speaker 1: I told my family. Welcome back. It's a brand new

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Speaker 1: episode of Laugh with Me. I am your host, me

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Speaker 1: Odem as always, and we've got a special episode for you.

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Speaker 1: This week. We are celebrating Festivus. Happy Festivus, everybody. For

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Speaker 1: those of you that don't know, here's a quick rundown

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Speaker 1: of what Festivus actually is. It's a secular holiday celebrated

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Speaker 1: on December twenty third. It's an alternative to the pressures

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Speaker 1: and commercialism of the Christmas season. So for those of

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Speaker 1: you that are saying Christmas is for the toy companies,

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Speaker 1: Christmas is a hallmark holiday, well, first of all, no

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Speaker 1: it's not. But there's many other holidays being celebrated throughout

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Speaker 1: the season as well, Hanukah, Kwanza, the before mentioned Christmas.

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Speaker 1: Festivus is for the rest of us, and we will

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Speaker 1: be celebrating that this week on Laugh with Me. One

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Speaker 1: of the ways we're going to be celebrating is with

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Speaker 1: the airing of grievances. I've got plenty of problems with

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Speaker 1: you people that I'm going to be addressing here in

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Speaker 1: just a little bit, and I'm going to be taking

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Speaker 1: live calls from you so you can your grievances as well.

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Speaker 1: It's gonna be a good time. But some of the

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Speaker 1: other things a Festivus that I know some of you

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Speaker 1: are going to be celebrating this twenty third. Of course,

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Speaker 1: there's the aluminum pole. You're gonna have your Festivus poll up,

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Speaker 1: and it takes the place of your Christmas tree. It's

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Speaker 1: gonna be a symbol and the centerpiece of all celebration

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Speaker 1: you have. On the twenty third, You've also got the

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Speaker 1: very important feats of strength. The head of the household

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Speaker 1: must be pinned for Festivus to end. That is a

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Speaker 1: battle that generally happens after the Festivus dinner, a wonderful

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Speaker 1: dinner to be had where everybody sits around the table

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Speaker 1: and enjoys a nice meal. And that's also when the

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Speaker 1: airing of grievances happens as well. And then you know

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Speaker 1: throughout the day you've got your Festivus miracles. It's just

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Speaker 1: things that happen in the spirit of Festivus. That makes

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Speaker 1: everything kind of click together. Those of you that don't

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Speaker 1: know if Festivuses obviously aren't very familiar with Seinfelder. There

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Speaker 1: was in a season nine episode called the Strike. This

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Speaker 1: happened in nineteen ninety seven, and it was kind of

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Speaker 1: the main focus of the episode, even though it's not

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Speaker 1: named after that episode, but it is a classic moment

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Speaker 1: in Seinfeld history. And you know, you know, we're so

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Speaker 1: many years away. I was watching, you know, Seinfeld as

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Speaker 1: the episodes were coming out weekly on NBC back then,

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Speaker 1: and I think I was maybe a sophomore, sophomore, junior,

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Speaker 1: probably a freshman or sophomore in high school then, and

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Speaker 1: I didn't realize. I knew then, obviously, but as we're

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Speaker 1: so many years later, I totally forgot that this was

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Speaker 1: in the final season, that this episode was on the

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Speaker 1: back end, very back end, the very tipping back of

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Speaker 1: everything that the series is. It's surprising because it's such

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Speaker 1: a classic moment and something that is still celebrated today.

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Speaker 2: But we're here.

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Speaker 1: It's laugh with me, and we are celebrating Festivus. If

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Speaker 1: you've got grievances the air, make sure to hit us

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Speaker 1: up on the Twitter at Laugh with Me Pod. You

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Speaker 1: can also find us on Instagram at laugh with Me

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Speaker 1: podcast and air out your grievances. We've got a plenty

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Speaker 1: to have problems with, and we're going to make sure

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Speaker 1: that everybody hears about Happy festiv Us everybody. This very

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Speaker 1: special episode of Laugh with Me is brought to you

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Speaker 1: by the official Trainers of Festivus. This December twenty third.

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Speaker 1: You have two options. You're either going to be defending

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Speaker 1: your household to fight for your life and make sure

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Speaker 1: you don't get pinned to keep fest of Us going,

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Speaker 1: or you're going to be trying to pin the head

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Speaker 1: of the household. Either way, you need to be prepared.

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Speaker 1: The official Festivus Trainers will get you ready all year

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Speaker 1: long to be physically in shape, strong, dominant, and have

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Speaker 1: the endurance to either take care of your home or

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Speaker 1: take care of that head of household and get the pen.

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Speaker 1: Festivus can end until it happens the head of household.

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Speaker 1: Official Trainers of Festivus are these sponsors off Laugh with

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Speaker 1: Me out back to the show. We're gonna be opening

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Speaker 1: up the Laugh with Me phone lines and just a

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Speaker 1: little bit so you can air your grievances again. You

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Speaker 1: can also follow us find us on Twitter at laugh

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Speaker 1: with Me pod and on the Instagram at laugh with

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Speaker 1: Me Podcast. Air your grievances the airing a grievances it

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Speaker 1: generally takes place immediately after the festivist dinner's been served.

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Speaker 1: You know, some mental health professionals believe that having a

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Speaker 1: space for people to air some of their grievances to

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Speaker 1: their family and friends could actually be a good mental

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Speaker 1: health thing. Generally, though, this is avoided during the holidays.

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Speaker 1: You're just trying to get through with smiles in order

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Speaker 1: to get home later. But it's always good to see

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Speaker 1: family and friends. Festive us is just a little bit different,

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Speaker 1: you know, you kind of air it out, You get

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Speaker 1: everything off your chest and then hopefully that chip off

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Speaker 1: your shoulder make you feel good all around.

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Speaker 3: Right.

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Speaker 1: Things, people, events, they disappoint you. Throughout the year twenty

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Speaker 1: twenty three has been no different. All of us have

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Speaker 1: had things in our lives that have just come up

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Speaker 1: a little short in our eyes, and we've got some

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Speaker 1: problems with them. I am one as well. I have

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Speaker 1: some grievances to air. I got a few that I

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Speaker 1: want to get off my chest. You know, this is

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Speaker 1: in fact the Festivus episode, so we are going to

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Speaker 1: be airing of the grievances. Just this past Saturday, finishing

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Speaker 1: up some holiday shopping, driving home, I'm in the right lane.

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Speaker 1: In the left lane, a car about a half car

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Speaker 1: length ahead, you know, of pace of me, and apparently

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Speaker 1: this fellaw wanted to be in my lane. Hits his

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Speaker 1: turn signal but doesn't look and he just starts merging

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Speaker 1: into my lane. I immediately slow down, hit the brake,

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Speaker 1: hounk my horn. He kind of does a little little

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Speaker 1: waggle with his car because he caught him off guard

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Speaker 1: because obviously he didn't see me. But this fella dealer

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Speaker 1: plates was trying to get all the way over to

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Speaker 1: the dealership. He was focused on where he was going

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Speaker 1: and not was around him. I got a problem with you, buddy,

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Speaker 1: Watch where you're going. You could have caused an accident.

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Speaker 1: And just before that, I'm in the parking lot of

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Speaker 1: another I don't know, like a little strip mall and

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Speaker 1: almost witness an accident trying to turn into there. I

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Speaker 1: didn't witness it, but my wife almost did. She said, oh,

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Speaker 1: we almost witnessed an accident. And I said where, and

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Speaker 1: then she didn't want to tell me because obviously I

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Speaker 1: didn't see it, so I didn't almost wit. I mean,

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Speaker 1: at that point, she almost witnessed an accident, you know,

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Speaker 1: because I'm focused on the I'm doing my job as

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Speaker 1: the driver. That's what this fellaw should have been doing. Hey, buddy,

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Speaker 1: the guy with the dealer plates in Omaha, Saturday afternoon,

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Speaker 1: wrong place, wrong time, buddy, watch what you're doing on

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Speaker 1: the road. So I don't have this job anymore, but

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Speaker 1: I had it for the last few years previous to

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Speaker 1: about a year ago, so it's been about a year.

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Speaker 1: But I had it for like three years before that. Okay, anyway,

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Speaker 1: had this boss, and I'm not gonna say who I

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Speaker 1: worked for, but it was a grocery chain that rhymed

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Speaker 1: with Roger and this guy he would come in the store,

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Speaker 1: so he didn't work in the store. He was in

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Speaker 1: charge of like eight stores, and he would just you know,

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Speaker 1: like a district manager, and he would come around every

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Speaker 1: once in a while, probably once a week, and he

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Speaker 1: would come in and you didn't know when he was coming.

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Speaker 1: You didn't know what he was looking for. He just

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Speaker 1: knew he was coming into supervise and he would never

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Speaker 1: say hi. When we had the first you know, face

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Speaker 1: to face of the day or whatever, he would just

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Speaker 1: start in. He you know, in this particular instance, he

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Speaker 1: would come in and you know, he's starts in the

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Speaker 1: produce aisle. I think he found a package of strawberries

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Speaker 1: that maybe were a little too ripe, and he pulls

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Speaker 1: them and he you know, he pages for me and

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Speaker 1: I'm doing whatever somewhere in the store and I come

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Speaker 1: over and he just starts going in about this package

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Speaker 1: of strawberries. And then I said, Hi, buddy, I gotta

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Speaker 1: tell you yeah. And he's not the only person or

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Speaker 1: in a leadership position that has treated other folks that way.

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Speaker 1: But I've worked for many people that haven't, some that

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Speaker 1: had you know, tacked, some that had a personality and

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Speaker 1: would say Hi, you know, how's it going, just walked in, Hey,

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Speaker 1: here's an opportunity. Let's let's see what we can do

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Speaker 1: about fixing this. Then you want to work for that person.

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Speaker 1: But when somebody comes in the store or your workplace

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Speaker 1: or wherever it is and there's not even a greeting,

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Speaker 1: it's just straight diving into I got a problem with you.

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Speaker 1: I mean, can you imagine going anywhere. You know, let's

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Speaker 1: just say you were a customer and you every place

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Speaker 1: that you went to instead of starting with a high

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Speaker 1: or you know, or an employee asking how can I

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Speaker 1: help you, and you just started diving into problems. God,

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Speaker 1: it would be tiring, right. I feel for all those people,

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Speaker 1: like all the people that work in customer service related positions,

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Speaker 1: because that's probably what it's like. People are just rude.

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Speaker 1: But man, if you're in a leadership position, you need

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Speaker 1: people behind you to go. God, give a guy a break,

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Speaker 1: just say hi. Treat them like a person. You know.

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Speaker 1: I've worked in leadership positions for I don't know how

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Speaker 1: many years now, has it been like almost twenty years now.

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Speaker 1: Just treat people nice. You know, there's time and place

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Speaker 1: for opportunity talk, you know, for constructive criticism, like that's

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Speaker 1: a good thing. I like those talks both ways, whether

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Speaker 1: it's to me or from me. But treat people like people. God,

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Speaker 1: it goes a long long way. So twenty twenty three,

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Speaker 1: I just started in comedy. At the beginning of the

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Speaker 1: year was when I first started to learn how to write,

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Speaker 1: and then you know, performed on stage all throughout the

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Speaker 1: year and also started this show and it has been

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Speaker 1: a lot of fun. I've learned a lot. I've got

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Speaker 1: a whole hell of a lot more to learn where

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Speaker 1: you know, a long ways to go still, but it's

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Speaker 1: definitely been something that I enjoy in, something that I

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Speaker 1: feel like I can do. But one of the things

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Speaker 1: I noticed, and it's been really just recent, like in

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Speaker 1: the last four or five months, it seems like the

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Speaker 1: gatekeeping with ins comedy like communities run rampant. And when

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Speaker 1: I first started, you know, in January, from some of

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Speaker 1: the I don't know, the people that you look up

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Speaker 1: to in the community, they said that wasn't the case,

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Speaker 1: that there was no gatekeeping. The funny's funny, and everybody's

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Speaker 1: just going to, you know, try to help make the

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Speaker 1: scene better and stronger. And at first I started to

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Speaker 1: see that, I'm like, Okay, this is awesome, this is inspiring.

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Speaker 1: And then the last few months you can tell that

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Speaker 1: the tensions are rising and that the folks who are

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Speaker 1: trying to hold spots are trying to hold spots. And

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Speaker 1: if that's happening in Omaha, Nebraska, I can't imagine what

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Speaker 1: it's like in New York, Chicago, La, Austin, Texas. You know,

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Speaker 1: the hot spots of the comedy world. But Omaha's definitely

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Speaker 1: prepping for those those worlds basically, But stop, I mean,

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Speaker 1: why can't we all be successful? One of the things

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Speaker 1: I learned, especially you know, just working in this is

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Speaker 1: obviously different working at the grocery stores. But if the

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Speaker 1: folks that you are that are reporting to you, if

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Speaker 1: you make them better, if you train them and you

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Speaker 1: help them grow, and you help them move on to

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Speaker 1: other positions, that helps you as well. Like their success

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Speaker 1: is your success. So it's okay. I mean, look at

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Speaker 1: like coaching, Like in sports, there's the coaching trees. You know,

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Speaker 1: Bill Belichick of the Patriots, he wants those assistants to

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Speaker 1: go get other head coaching jobs. It's the coaching trees.

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Speaker 1: He came from a coaching tree as well. That's how

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Speaker 1: it works. It's the same in politics. You got folks

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Speaker 1: that are coming off from the different branches that are

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Speaker 1: you know, from the highest levels, and they've got those

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Speaker 1: folks under them that are going to someday take their spot,

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Speaker 1: and they're grooming them for that. Like that's okay. If

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Speaker 1: they're successful, you're successful. Gaykeeping is slowing the process down

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Speaker 1: for everybody, and it makes you look bad. It just

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Speaker 1: really does. You don't want that ripation. I don't know.

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Speaker 1: I got a big problem with that. It's something I'm

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Speaker 1: looking out for and just trying to navigate and see

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Speaker 1: who you can trust and who you can learn from,

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Speaker 1: because I feel like there's some bad advice out there

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Speaker 1: right now in the comedy community in Omaha. Happyfestvos, everybody,

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Speaker 1: we're airing well, I'm marry my grievances. Currently. I got

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Speaker 1: a big problem with the Grim Reaper. They took the

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Speaker 1: Padres San Diego Padres owner from us, Peter Seidler. He

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Speaker 1: passed away tragically here a couple He had an illness,

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Speaker 1: passed away from it. But it has made an immediate

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Speaker 1: impact on our favorite team. I mean he Peter works

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Speaker 1: so hard to change the culture of the San Diego

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Speaker 1: Padres from a team that wouldn't attract free agents, a

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Speaker 1: team that wouldn't always be competitive every season, who wouldn't

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Speaker 1: be in the running to win a world championship. Peter

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Speaker 1: worked so hard to change that, and he did it

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Speaker 1: with money. He did it was spending and attracting free agents,

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Speaker 1: and he did it. He got some of the best

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Speaker 1: free agents that were available to come play for the

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Speaker 1: San Diego Padres, and he was available. You know, he

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Speaker 1: sat in the stands. My family. We were at a

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Speaker 1: Cardinals game against the Padres in Saint Louis and he

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Speaker 1: was one section over. You know, I was able to

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Speaker 1: shake the man's hand and tell him thank you, and

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Speaker 1: I'm just so thankful that he's our owner and that

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Speaker 1: he's doing the things he's doing for the Padres, and

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Speaker 1: because it's just amazing. You grow up a fan of

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Speaker 1: this team, you know, by no other reason than you

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Speaker 1: you were born in San Diego, and you get this

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Speaker 1: curse of rooting for a team that's just bad year

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Speaker 1: after year after year and just never in the hunt.

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Speaker 1: I mean two seasons they've made it to the World Series.

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Speaker 1: Nineteen eighty four, so I was one years old, and

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Speaker 1: then nineteen ninety eight and I was rush into high school.

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Speaker 1: And that's it. That's that was my only memories of

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Speaker 1: almost you know, hitting the I had no memory of

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Speaker 1: that first one, but the nineteen ninety eight one, though,

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Speaker 1: I do have memories of almost hitting the pinnacle of

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Speaker 1: their sport. Otherwise, they haven't really ever been that close.

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Speaker 1: You know. There was a few playoff runs in the

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Speaker 1: mix throughout the way. But mostly the team's just bad.

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Speaker 1: And we've had good players come and a lot of

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Speaker 1: good players go. But Peter was changing that. He was

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Speaker 1: making us a competitive organization top down, year after year

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Speaker 1: after year, and you can see it. I mean, yeah, sure,

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Speaker 1: the twenty twenty three team didn't meet expectations, but this

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Speaker 1: team's good. Like you knew even though we missed the

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Speaker 1: playoffs in twenty three, even though we thought we'd make

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Speaker 1: it to the World Series, you knew that in twenty four,

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Speaker 1: this team's gonna be right back in the thick of it.

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Speaker 1: Just got to change something. But the passing of Peter,

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Speaker 1: you can already tell there's changes coming, and it's got

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Speaker 1: to do with the budget, and it's got to do

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Speaker 1: with players that are coming in. And uh, for better

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Speaker 1: or for worse, we're going to see. We're gonna see

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Speaker 1: what happens, but always going to be a fan of

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Speaker 1: the team. But man, Graham Reaper, why'd you have to

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Speaker 1: take our guy? We were just finally hitting a few

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Speaker 1: years stretch where things were things were looking sunny in

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Speaker 1: San Diego, and you had to go and make it

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Speaker 1: dark man, You had to go make it dark I

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Speaker 1: know there's been lawsuits revolve, you know, involving this. I

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Speaker 1: have never been a part of it. I've just i

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Speaker 1: know this has been a topic before, but I've got

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Speaker 1: a problem with it. I just want to put this

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Speaker 1: out there and put it on record that I don't

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Speaker 1: agree with this that every single time Apple announces a

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Speaker 1: new phone, that my phone starts losing its charge a

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Speaker 1: lot faster. It's not like slowly. It's not like, oh,

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Speaker 1: I've got an aging product, so it's not going to

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Speaker 1: operate as well as it should. No, it's dramatic. Okay.

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Speaker 1: If I don't have my portable charger with me at

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Speaker 1: all times, I can't make it through half the day.

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Speaker 1: I'm talking about half the day. When I go to

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Speaker 1: pick up my kids from school, my phone is dead

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Speaker 1: if I don't have my portable charger. And you might

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Speaker 1: be saying, use your phone too much. No, everybody uses

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Speaker 1: their phone too much.

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Speaker 4: Okay.

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Speaker 1: This is not a Jeremy problem. It's an everybody problem. Okay,

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Speaker 1: this is the world we live in at twenty twenty three,

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Speaker 1: So make it so it holds charge. And why when

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Speaker 1: you announce the new phone, because it's not like anything changed.

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Speaker 1: We haven't updated the software yet. We haven't updated the

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Speaker 1: operating system yet. It was literally a press conference. You

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Speaker 1: invited the press to come hear about it instantly. I'm

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Speaker 1: losing charge a lot faster, it's running just a little

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Speaker 1: bit slower. I got a problem with that. I got

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Speaker 1: a big problem with that. What am I gonna do

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Speaker 1: about it? Absolutely nothing? You know, I'm not I'm not

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Speaker 1: doing anything about it. I'm gonna complain about it, you know,

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Speaker 1: And next year twenty twenty four Festivut episode, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: complain about it then too, because it's a problem and

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Speaker 1: I have no faith that's going to get resolved. But

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Speaker 1: I would appreciate it if this is something that's becoming

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Speaker 1: more and more of a problem. You don't remember like

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Speaker 1: Black Friday, And I know a lot of folks have

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Speaker 1: been talking about this, like on TikTok this year, at

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Speaker 1: least more so than I've ever seen, where they're like, oh,

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Speaker 1: we're calling out the retailer. They're not Black Friday prices anymore.

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Speaker 1: And they pull the sign you know that says black Friday,

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Speaker 1: and the TV is you know, one fifty nine to

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Speaker 1: ninety nine, and you pull the sign and behind it

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Speaker 1: it's not a Black Friday sign, it's a different sale sign.

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Speaker 1: It says one fifty nine ninety nine. I mean, that

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Speaker 1: person's technically wrong. The retailer didn't do anything wrong there,

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Speaker 1: because remember, anymore you're getting Black Friday prices is longer

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Speaker 1: in the season, so you're getting them long before Black Friday.

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Speaker 1: They just changed the sign to you know, show you

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Speaker 1: that it's Black Friday because on the calendar we finally

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Speaker 1: hit it. But they're giving you that price early, Okay,

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Speaker 1: So there's really you know, they're not gonna we're gonna

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Speaker 1: we're not gonna say hey, we're giving you Black Friday

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Speaker 1: prices on December tenth and then have an even cheaper

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Speaker 1: price on Black Friday. That's that's not giving you Black

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Speaker 1: Friday prices. So technically those folks are wrong, and it's

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Speaker 1: just kind of rude honestly to be calling out retailers

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Speaker 1: for that. But but something I do have a problem with.

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Speaker 1: I see this a lot in the grocery industry, and

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Speaker 1: this isn't this isn't a holiday related issue. This is

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Speaker 1: an issue throughout the year. More and more they're promoting

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Speaker 1: items as on sale, so they're putting it in your advertisement.

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Speaker 1: They're putting the signs up in the store saying that

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Speaker 1: it's on sale, but it's actually the regular price. The

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Speaker 1: ideas we're promoting the everyday price a I don't like that.

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Speaker 1: I don't like that one bit. I mean, draw me

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Speaker 1: into the store with your ad prices, sure, with some specials,

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Speaker 1: something to get me in the door, right, give me

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Speaker 1: the invitation to come into the door and shop with you.

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Speaker 1: Then showcase your every day low price in the store

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Speaker 1: all around the building, like that's exciting. The ad that

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Speaker 1: you're sending me should be the invitation to come see me.

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Speaker 1: That's got to be hot. Okay, you can do other

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Speaker 1: pieces to be like, hey, every day, we're this price

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Speaker 1: on this, and we're this price on this, and this

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Speaker 1: is awesome. It's cheaper and everybody else awesome.

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Speaker 4: Do that.

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Speaker 1: Okay, that's fine, but don't parade like it's an ad

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Speaker 1: price because it's not. It's your everyday low price. Have

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Speaker 1: that stuff all over the building and be proud of it.

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Speaker 1: But it's not a sale price and it shouldn't be

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Speaker 1: advertised as such, and it happens constantly. I got a

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Speaker 1: big problem with it. I don't think it's fair I

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Speaker 1: don't think it's fair the consumer, and I don't think

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Speaker 1: it speaks to your pricing. I don't think it speaks

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Speaker 1: to what you're trying to achieve in the customer size.

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Speaker 1: I think it's cheap, and I think you're trying to

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Speaker 1: get away with something. I mean, it's technically not illegal

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Speaker 1: what you're doing, but you are trying to get away

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Speaker 1: with something. There are ways to have the low price image.

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Speaker 1: I don't know that that's it. Yeah, there's literally no

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Speaker 1: joke in this in this grievance other than you being

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Speaker 1: fooled by the retailer thinking that they've got all these

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Speaker 1: ad prices and half of them are regular everyday prices.

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Speaker 1: That's the joke that I hope you're not laughing with that,

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Speaker 1: because you know the joke's on us on that one.

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Speaker 1: It's my final grievance of twenty twenty three Festivus episode.

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Speaker 1: This is a big one. This is one one that

426
00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:03,240
Speaker 1: is near and dear to my heart. I love competing,

427
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:06,520
Speaker 1: you know, in anything that it is. If it's you know,

428
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:08,439
Speaker 1: in life, trying to be the best you can be

429
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:12,880
Speaker 1: in your career, if it's in a board game, if

430
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:15,800
Speaker 1: it's in sports, if it's rooting for my favorite teams,

431
00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:18,119
Speaker 1: if it's rooting for my favorite musician, I want to

432
00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:21,720
Speaker 1: make sure that they're their latest song or their latest album,

433
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:23,720
Speaker 1: or their concert is sold out. Like I want to

434
00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:25,840
Speaker 1: make sure that they're the best because I believe in

435
00:25:25,880 --> 00:25:28,760
Speaker 1: them right and I enjoy their art. I'm always going

436
00:25:28,840 --> 00:25:31,520
Speaker 1: to root and work hard for the people that I

437
00:25:31,560 --> 00:25:36,120
Speaker 1: care for and that I'm a fan of. But I'm

438
00:25:36,240 --> 00:25:42,040
Speaker 1: very competitive. I am in the arena of competing. Let's

439
00:25:42,080 --> 00:25:45,399
Speaker 1: say in a board game, like let's say Jenga. Okay,

440
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:48,639
Speaker 1: I've got a problem if you're on the other side

441
00:25:49,000 --> 00:25:52,040
Speaker 1: of this Jenga game and you don't take the game

442
00:25:52,040 --> 00:25:55,800
Speaker 1: as seriously, because this is a game that if you

443
00:25:55,880 --> 00:26:00,119
Speaker 1: do not take seriously. Number one ends very quickly. And

444
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:03,760
Speaker 1: just think, all those blocks fall, they crash. You gotta

445
00:26:03,840 --> 00:26:05,960
Speaker 1: build them back up. I mean, it's a process to

446
00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:08,840
Speaker 1: get the game back to restart another game. And how

447
00:26:08,880 --> 00:26:11,520
Speaker 1: disappointing if you're having the game of your life and

448
00:26:11,560 --> 00:26:14,320
Speaker 1: the person on other side is just lackadais deal with

449
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:19,399
Speaker 1: it and they don't care. Like Jenga is an art. Okay,

450
00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:23,560
Speaker 1: Jenga can last. A good Jenga game can last. A

451
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:28,280
Speaker 1: long time with thrills along the way. If you take

452
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:31,040
Speaker 1: it seriously, and I need competitors on the other side

453
00:26:31,080 --> 00:26:33,080
Speaker 1: they're taking it seriously, because I'm gonna tell you right now,

454
00:26:33,440 --> 00:26:37,159
Speaker 1: every single Jenga game that I play, I take like

455
00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:40,639
Speaker 1: it's my last Jenga game I'll ever play, and I

456
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,879
Speaker 1: want to win. So I got a problem with anybody

457
00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:45,960
Speaker 1: who doesn't take it as seriously as I do. And

458
00:26:46,240 --> 00:26:49,280
Speaker 1: you know, you have to take ultra serious. And I'm

459
00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:51,840
Speaker 1: not like you know, I'm not in your face yelling

460
00:26:51,840 --> 00:26:54,840
Speaker 1: at you. I mean, I'm not talking about serious. I'm

461
00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:58,640
Speaker 1: talking about like, play the game. Okay, play if you're

462
00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:03,480
Speaker 1: gonna play, play the game because it's an art. I'm

463
00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:09,000
Speaker 1: okay with losing if I get beat, I am, but

464
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:13,520
Speaker 1: I don't enjoy winning when the other side doesn't even try.

465
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:19,679
Speaker 1: So well, that was the airing of grievances. Happy festiv Us, everybody.

466
00:27:19,840 --> 00:27:22,000
Speaker 1: In just a few moments, we're gonna be taking live calls.

467
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:26,400
Speaker 1: We're gonna get you the opportunity to air your grievances.

468
00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:32,240
Speaker 1: Live here on. Laugh with me. You are live on,

469
00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:34,719
Speaker 1: laugh with me, Happy Festivus.

470
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:35,199
Speaker 5: Thank you, Thank you.

471
00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:41,000
Speaker 3: I have a real problem with the women's fashion industry.

472
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:45,400
Speaker 3: Tell me why we can't get a good pocket. Phones

473
00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:48,399
Speaker 3: these days are now like four or five inches long,

474
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:51,280
Speaker 3: And you're gonna give me if you give me a pocket,

475
00:27:51,640 --> 00:27:55,399
Speaker 3: this teeny tiny thing that I can barely fit a lipstick,

476
00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:58,399
Speaker 3: a lip gloss in. The men be walking around with

477
00:27:58,560 --> 00:28:02,280
Speaker 3: giant ass pockets in the front and in the butt.

478
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:04,639
Speaker 3: I'm lucky if I can even fit my phone in

479
00:28:04,720 --> 00:28:05,800
Speaker 3: my back pocket.

480
00:28:06,600 --> 00:28:09,760
Speaker 5: Give us some freaking pockets. That's why you see when

481
00:28:09,760 --> 00:28:12,040
Speaker 5: girls are walking around, they're like wearing a dress and

482
00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:13,040
Speaker 5: they're like, thanks, it.

483
00:28:12,960 --> 00:28:15,160
Speaker 2: Has pockets because we never get them.

484
00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:16,520
Speaker 4: We need them.

485
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:20,280
Speaker 5: If men can have them, why can't women have them?

486
00:28:20,880 --> 00:28:21,240
Speaker 4: Also?

487
00:28:21,800 --> 00:28:24,919
Speaker 5: Why can't we have consistent sizing? Why can't I go

488
00:28:25,040 --> 00:28:28,480
Speaker 5: into the store and buy the same size and every

489
00:28:28,520 --> 00:28:31,280
Speaker 5: item and have it fit the same Men their pants

490
00:28:31,400 --> 00:28:36,200
Speaker 5: they go by size by like whatever your waist and length. Women,

491
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 5: it's like, here's the size ten, but the ten is

492
00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:42,880
Speaker 5: gonna be different in every single brand and in every

493
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:46,720
Speaker 5: different wash of jeans or any kind of pants. Make

494
00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:48,160
Speaker 5: it make sense.

495
00:28:48,600 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 1: You know you said four to five inches you know,

496
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:52,200
Speaker 1: to fit in your pocket. To that, I just want

497
00:28:52,240 --> 00:28:55,360
Speaker 1: to say, that's what she said, Also, you said big

498
00:28:55,440 --> 00:28:58,600
Speaker 1: pockets for the Fellas on the front and the back.

499
00:28:58,640 --> 00:29:00,360
Speaker 1: That's because we got that thing on it. So that's

500
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:03,640
Speaker 1: that's just kind of how that works with the Fellas.

501
00:29:03,680 --> 00:29:06,640
Speaker 1: But thank you for calling in and Happy festiv Us.

502
00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:11,040
Speaker 1: You're life and laugh with me. Happy Festivus.

503
00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:14,080
Speaker 2: I got a problem with me not having a corky.

504
00:29:14,640 --> 00:29:16,840
Speaker 6: I you know, I love any kind of dog, but

505
00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 6: a corky and specific, Okay, I need a dog because

506
00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:24,480
Speaker 6: they're just they're so cuddly, they're so friendly. Don't I

507
00:29:24,680 --> 00:29:28,680
Speaker 6: deserve a friend, doesn't anyone, And that's why anyone should

508
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:30,520
Speaker 6: be able to get a dog a corky.

509
00:29:30,800 --> 00:29:32,880
Speaker 2: They're so special and they're just so lovey.

510
00:29:33,240 --> 00:29:37,440
Speaker 1: So, if I get this right, you don't have a corky.

511
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:40,720
Speaker 2: I don't, but I need one.

512
00:29:40,320 --> 00:29:43,880
Speaker 1: So you your biggest complaint of the year is that

513
00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:46,480
Speaker 1: you need this puppy. Why don't you have a corky?

514
00:29:46,720 --> 00:29:49,280
Speaker 6: My parents won't buy anyone, and I'm too young to

515
00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:50,280
Speaker 6: buy one on my own.

516
00:29:50,320 --> 00:29:50,720
Speaker 2: I guess.

517
00:29:51,080 --> 00:29:54,160
Speaker 1: Oh, no, you need a job, girl, You need a job.

518
00:29:55,120 --> 00:29:55,920
Speaker 2: Still too young?

519
00:29:57,360 --> 00:30:00,360
Speaker 1: Well, good luck on your attempts to get a Corgi.

520
00:30:00,480 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 1: In twenty twenty four, you know I've been trying. Happy

521
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:08,480
Speaker 1: festiv Us. Oh, we have got to get a fella

522
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:11,800
Speaker 1: on the phone lines. You are live on laugh with me,

523
00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:13,480
Speaker 1: Happy Festivus.

524
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:16,800
Speaker 4: Happy Festivus. Indeed, I appreciate you giving me the opportunity

525
00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:20,560
Speaker 4: to air my grievances anonymously, as I don't want to

526
00:30:20,600 --> 00:30:24,520
Speaker 4: share these with the people involved. Don't have that courage,

527
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:27,760
Speaker 4: but I'm working up to it. My first grievance is

528
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:32,080
Speaker 4: they're somebody's some folks that are very very near and

529
00:30:32,120 --> 00:30:35,960
Speaker 4: dear to me. Elves. You know, everybody loves them. They

530
00:30:35,960 --> 00:30:39,800
Speaker 4: make the toys on Christmas. But what I can't stand

531
00:30:39,840 --> 00:30:42,760
Speaker 4: and what I really want to get to them, is

532
00:30:42,840 --> 00:30:47,200
Speaker 4: just I'm done with the incessant singing. The thing is

533
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:52,040
Speaker 4: is that elves are not universally talented. They don't all sing. Well,

534
00:30:52,120 --> 00:30:55,720
Speaker 4: that's a movie myth. And the other thing is when

535
00:30:55,760 --> 00:30:58,640
Speaker 4: you're watching a movie and it goes from room to room,

536
00:30:58,800 --> 00:31:01,440
Speaker 4: the elves are all singing the same song and it's

537
00:31:01,600 --> 00:31:05,160
Speaker 4: very very coordinated, when in real life it's not like

538
00:31:05,200 --> 00:31:07,800
Speaker 4: that at all. If I was to walk from one

539
00:31:07,920 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 4: end of my workshop to the other end of my workshop,

540
00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:13,800
Speaker 4: I would probably hear a dozen different songs. It's a

541
00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:16,720
Speaker 4: much more like to I don't know, being in the

542
00:31:16,840 --> 00:31:20,600
Speaker 4: mall and hearing the same Christmas song being played a

543
00:31:21,120 --> 00:31:26,560
Speaker 4: dozens and dozens of different places, which isn't a bad thing.

544
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:32,960
Speaker 4: But here, have yourself a merry little Christmas. More than

545
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:35,760
Speaker 4: once a day. I love the song. I could sing

546
00:31:35,760 --> 00:31:37,920
Speaker 4: the song for you right now. I'm not going to

547
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:42,400
Speaker 4: That song is a bummer, and I can't hear it

548
00:31:42,920 --> 00:31:47,680
Speaker 4: fifteen times a day. And those elves just will not

549
00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:54,120
Speaker 4: shut up. Even when it's time for us to have

550
00:31:54,200 --> 00:31:57,040
Speaker 4: our meal, those elves are still singing. I have never

551
00:31:57,080 --> 00:32:03,200
Speaker 4: seen an elf eat with their mouth shut. And I'm

552
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:05,960
Speaker 4: over and I'm literally at my wits.

553
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:07,440
Speaker 2: End on this Holy Cow.

554
00:32:07,960 --> 00:32:11,360
Speaker 1: I know you people are calling in. They're calling in anonymously.

555
00:32:13,080 --> 00:32:14,760
Speaker 1: You said you work with elves.

556
00:32:14,720 --> 00:32:18,560
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, And it's not just the elves, it's the reindeer.

557
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:21,800
Speaker 4: You see these elves, they're they're singing there, They're just

558
00:32:21,880 --> 00:32:24,360
Speaker 4: they're food spitting all over the place, cooping up the

559
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:27,920
Speaker 4: table scraps. The reindeer are all over the hall just

560
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:29,480
Speaker 4: eating whatever has been out there.

561
00:32:30,040 --> 00:32:30,760
Speaker 1: I mean, I've.

562
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:32,720
Speaker 4: Already got a problem with reindeer. I mean, they're just

563
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:36,040
Speaker 4: lazy animals. I mean a couple of years ago, I

564
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,920
Speaker 4: had a zoologist up there. She tried to feed me

565
00:32:39,040 --> 00:32:42,560
Speaker 4: some sort of speel about how it was cold outside

566
00:32:42,720 --> 00:32:46,720
Speaker 4: and the metabolism and yay aye yeah yeah, no, no, no,

567
00:32:47,200 --> 00:32:50,360
Speaker 4: don't excuse it. Those reindeers and they're just lazy.

568
00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:51,400
Speaker 1: You know.

569
00:32:53,000 --> 00:32:55,400
Speaker 4: I had to go through a human resources disaster a

570
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:57,880
Speaker 4: couple of years ago when it came out about the

571
00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:00,960
Speaker 4: reindeer games. Oh, you're pushing the reindeer too, You're pushing

572
00:33:01,040 --> 00:33:03,760
Speaker 4: up too much, like they don't want to do this. Hey,

573
00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:06,200
Speaker 4: I don't know what to tell you, but I got

574
00:33:06,240 --> 00:33:09,760
Speaker 4: four billion on the good List. Every year, I got

575
00:33:09,800 --> 00:33:12,000
Speaker 4: to hit every house in the same night. And if

576
00:33:12,000 --> 00:33:15,600
Speaker 4: those reindeer aren't ready to go, well that's a failure.

577
00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:19,120
Speaker 4: That's a big l on me. So I've got to

578
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:21,160
Speaker 4: make sure that these guys are ready. I'll tell you

579
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:24,040
Speaker 4: this year, I moved the track a little bit closer

580
00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:26,880
Speaker 4: to the Abominable Snowman, just because I need to make

581
00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:29,400
Speaker 4: sure that these reindeer are getting their cardio in because

582
00:33:29,400 --> 00:33:31,000
Speaker 4: we're not going to fail on my account.

583
00:33:31,520 --> 00:33:34,400
Speaker 1: So you have elves and you have reindeer.

584
00:33:34,560 --> 00:33:36,920
Speaker 4: Hey, hey, hey, hey, who's aaron their grievances here?

585
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:37,920
Speaker 2: Oh sorry, my bad?

586
00:33:38,120 --> 00:33:39,120
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, go ahead.

587
00:33:40,160 --> 00:33:42,320
Speaker 4: The last thing I want to get off my chest

588
00:33:42,440 --> 00:33:45,960
Speaker 4: is just my wife. I love her. She's the light

589
00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:50,200
Speaker 4: of my life. No regrets in marrying her. We got married,

590
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:53,400
Speaker 4: we set very specific boundaries, and one of the things

591
00:33:53,400 --> 00:33:57,040
Speaker 4: that I wanted I wanted a room to call my own.

592
00:33:57,520 --> 00:33:59,280
Speaker 4: I don't know. Some people call it a man cave,

593
00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:01,800
Speaker 4: some people call it a pole. I don't know that

594
00:34:02,160 --> 00:34:05,440
Speaker 4: the vernacular changes depending on where you're at. All I

595
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:08,520
Speaker 4: wanted to do was decorate the way I would. I

596
00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:11,319
Speaker 4: have a mini bar, I have a big TV. I

597
00:34:11,360 --> 00:34:15,520
Speaker 4: have a recliner. That's all I need. Lately, the last

598
00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:19,560
Speaker 4: couple of years, she's taken to invading this space, invading

599
00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:23,279
Speaker 4: my personal space, decorating it for Christmas, as if I

600
00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:24,839
Speaker 4: don't get enough Christmas.

601
00:34:24,920 --> 00:34:31,359
Speaker 7: The way it is, it's my job. I don't want

602
00:34:31,400 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 7: to come home to it. I just want this space

603
00:34:34,160 --> 00:34:38,360
Speaker 7: to get away from the elves, the reindeer, my wife.

604
00:34:39,400 --> 00:34:43,000
Speaker 7: I need that, and I'll be honest. I brought it

605
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:43,680
Speaker 7: up to her.

606
00:34:43,800 --> 00:34:48,280
Speaker 4: And as she rained blows down upon me, I realized

607
00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:52,840
Speaker 4: that I'd made a mistake. So thank you for providing

608
00:34:52,920 --> 00:34:56,000
Speaker 4: me this service to be able to just get this

609
00:34:56,120 --> 00:35:01,040
Speaker 4: off of my chest. And you know I'm busy Christmas Eve,

610
00:35:01,120 --> 00:35:04,440
Speaker 4: but nights you can find me on Rudolph's couch.

611
00:35:04,680 --> 00:35:05,279
Speaker 3: Well, thank you.

612
00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:07,960
Speaker 1: I think I caught a maybe a ho ho ho

613
00:35:08,120 --> 00:35:12,520
Speaker 1: in there. I think I got an idea of who

614
00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:17,320
Speaker 1: this is. Well, there you go. It seems like even

615
00:35:17,400 --> 00:35:23,919
Speaker 1: Santa Claus celebrates Festivus. That's the airing of grievances. Thank

616
00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:26,720
Speaker 1: you to everybody for listening to this very special edition

617
00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:30,600
Speaker 1: of Laugh with Me. I have actually been on a

618
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:33,480
Speaker 1: few other podcasts this week. You can find me on

619
00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:39,759
Speaker 1: Common Folk, a very fun episode of their podcast. How

620
00:35:39,800 --> 00:35:42,640
Speaker 1: you can find that anywhere that you listen to your podcast.

621
00:35:43,400 --> 00:35:46,000
Speaker 1: It's just it's an hour conversation. We just talked really

622
00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:50,400
Speaker 1: about me and kind of my journey from being in

623
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:52,560
Speaker 1: the grocery industry for twenty years all the way to

624
00:35:52,800 --> 00:35:55,319
Speaker 1: what I'm doing today and what you're listening to right now.

625
00:35:55,400 --> 00:35:58,000
Speaker 1: So it is a lot of fun and they were

626
00:35:58,120 --> 00:36:01,279
Speaker 1: a great time and thank you for having me on

627
00:36:01,320 --> 00:36:04,279
Speaker 1: their podcast. And then I had my third appearance on

628
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:07,799
Speaker 1: Where's the Line WTL, the sports betting podcast. They had

629
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:10,080
Speaker 1: their one hundredth episode. We did it in front of

630
00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:14,200
Speaker 1: a live crowd, and you can find that anywhere that

631
00:36:14,360 --> 00:36:18,480
Speaker 1: you find your favorite podcast. This is Laugh with Me.

632
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:21,479
Speaker 1: We've got Festivus December twenty third. I hope you guys

633
00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:23,520
Speaker 1: have a lot of fun, don't take the grievances too

634
00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:28,800
Speaker 1: personal after dinner, and hopefully you can pin the head

635
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:32,440
Speaker 1: of the household. Thanks for listening to Laugh with Me.

636
00:36:32,680 --> 00:36:44,400
Speaker 1: Happy fest to us, everybody,