1 00:00:00,040 --> 00:00:02,600 Speaker 1: There are going to be setbacks period. There are going 2 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:06,280 Speaker 1: to be failures period. Every single big, badass goal that 3 00:00:06,320 --> 00:00:08,080 Speaker 1: you're ever going to do in your life, you're going 4 00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:10,480 Speaker 1: to have to feel at least once on your way there. 5 00:00:10,560 --> 00:00:12,440 Speaker 1: It's not about you. It's just like, Okay, I had 6 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:22,560 Speaker 1: to get through that thing. Let's keep going. 7 00:00:28,160 --> 00:00:32,640 Speaker 2: Hey, everybody, Emily Badi here you are listening to another 8 00:00:32,720 --> 00:00:37,000 Speaker 2: installment of Hurdle Moment from Hurdle, a wellness focused podcast 9 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,600 Speaker 2: where I connect with everyone from your favorite athletes to 10 00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:44,360 Speaker 2: top experts and industry CEOs about their highest highs, toughest moments, 11 00:00:44,400 --> 00:00:48,479 Speaker 2: and everything in between. We all go through hurdles in life, 12 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:51,360 Speaker 2: and my goal through these discussions is to empower you 13 00:00:51,479 --> 00:00:55,000 Speaker 2: to better navigate yours and move with intention so that 14 00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:58,160 Speaker 2: you can stride towards your own big potential and of 15 00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:03,520 Speaker 2: course have some fun along the way. Today, I am 16 00:01:04,160 --> 00:01:08,800 Speaker 2: so stoked to be bringing you my conversation with Tammy Bennett. 17 00:01:08,920 --> 00:01:11,559 Speaker 2: She is a Mindset coach and host of the Show 18 00:01:11,720 --> 00:01:17,600 Speaker 2: Up Society podcast. She also just so happens to be 19 00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:22,400 Speaker 2: the wife of coach Chris Bennett. Now I say that 20 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:24,640 Speaker 2: not because I feel like that. 21 00:01:24,640 --> 00:01:26,560 Speaker 3: Is how she must be labeled. 22 00:01:26,880 --> 00:01:31,040 Speaker 2: But because when Tammy cold reached out to me, this 23 00:01:31,319 --> 00:01:34,560 Speaker 2: was what she led with, which made me laugh. Because 24 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:37,360 Speaker 2: her husband is a light and as I say to 25 00:01:37,400 --> 00:01:41,680 Speaker 2: her at the top portion of our chat today, she's 26 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:42,560 Speaker 2: her own person. 27 00:01:42,800 --> 00:01:46,040 Speaker 3: But God, to be a fly on the wall in 28 00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:51,240 Speaker 3: that house, I cannot even imagine. I digress. Today, Tammy 29 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,000 Speaker 3: and I are chatting. 30 00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:59,520 Speaker 2: All about success, specifically the fear of success, why sometimes 31 00:01:59,840 --> 00:02:02,760 Speaker 2: we are afraid of being our best. 32 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:03,240 Speaker 3: Now. 33 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,720 Speaker 2: I remember the first time someone asked me what I 34 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,400 Speaker 2: was more afraid of failure or success? 35 00:02:10,120 --> 00:02:11,720 Speaker 3: I thought it was a bizarre question. 36 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:14,280 Speaker 2: What do you mean that I should be afraid of 37 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:16,160 Speaker 2: getting the things that I dreamed of? 38 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:19,919 Speaker 3: But it is a little bit more complicated. 39 00:02:19,200 --> 00:02:22,920 Speaker 2: Than it may seem the question at first, and so 40 00:02:23,320 --> 00:02:25,680 Speaker 2: Tammy and I are diving into that. We are talking 41 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:28,920 Speaker 2: about how to get more comfortable going after the things 42 00:02:29,240 --> 00:02:33,760 Speaker 2: that you want, your big, scary, hairy, audacious goals. Also 43 00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:37,560 Speaker 2: chatting a bit makes sense with the topic about failure, 44 00:02:37,639 --> 00:02:41,600 Speaker 2: how to navigate failure, and why failure is actually the 45 00:02:41,720 --> 00:02:47,079 Speaker 2: key to success. I'd be really curious to hear about 46 00:02:47,160 --> 00:02:50,959 Speaker 2: where y'all sit on this conversation. If you are more 47 00:02:51,080 --> 00:02:55,400 Speaker 2: afraid of failure or success, so hit us up on 48 00:02:55,520 --> 00:02:59,240 Speaker 2: social tag hurdle over at Hurdle podcast. I myself am 49 00:02:59,280 --> 00:03:03,720 Speaker 2: att a body and with that, well, let's get to it. 50 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:19,400 Speaker 2: Let's get to hurdling. 51 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:16,600 Speaker 3: Today. 52 00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:20,840 Speaker 2: I am sitting down with Tammy Bennett. She's a mindset coach. 53 00:03:21,480 --> 00:03:23,280 Speaker 2: I am so happy to have you here. How are 54 00:03:23,320 --> 00:03:23,640 Speaker 2: you doing. 55 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:26,280 Speaker 1: I'm so good. Thank you Emily for having me. 56 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:28,079 Speaker 3: Of course, you. 57 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:31,799 Speaker 2: Know, I have to tell you that leading with the 58 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:36,240 Speaker 2: fact that you are coach Bennett's wife is like, I 59 00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:37,960 Speaker 2: understand why, but. 60 00:03:37,920 --> 00:03:40,560 Speaker 3: You have so much importance on your Oh. 61 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:45,840 Speaker 1: I like to think, so you do? 62 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:46,560 Speaker 3: You do. 63 00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:49,640 Speaker 2: I'm so excited that we're sitting down today, and goodness, 64 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:52,520 Speaker 2: I cannot even imagine like what it's got to be 65 00:03:52,680 --> 00:03:55,240 Speaker 2: like to be your children with the two of you. 66 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:58,320 Speaker 1: I feel really sorry for them and I'm just gonna 67 00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:00,200 Speaker 1: apologize to them every day. 68 00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:05,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, Chris's episode is one of like the 69 00:04:05,560 --> 00:04:08,280 Speaker 2: favorites I would say of Hurdler. So it was a 70 00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:11,960 Speaker 2: no brainer for me that I could have you on here. 71 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,200 Speaker 2: You and I can have a little girl sash, because 72 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:17,159 Speaker 2: I think that I have a hunch this one is 73 00:04:17,200 --> 00:04:19,880 Speaker 2: going to be just as favorited. 74 00:04:20,839 --> 00:04:23,919 Speaker 1: I feel a lot of pressure. Now, Oh my gosh, yeah. 75 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:26,040 Speaker 3: I'm here for you. I'm here for you. You're also 76 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:27,360 Speaker 3: a podcaster. 77 00:04:28,080 --> 00:04:30,520 Speaker 2: Let us know a little bit about how you got 78 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:32,800 Speaker 2: into this line of work. How did you decide to 79 00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:34,400 Speaker 2: become a mindset coach? 80 00:04:35,480 --> 00:04:39,160 Speaker 1: Okay, so it started because I was a runner. I 81 00:04:39,200 --> 00:04:41,679 Speaker 1: was a really good runner at a very young age, 82 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:45,000 Speaker 1: and that was my whole identity, right, that's what I 83 00:04:45,040 --> 00:04:47,280 Speaker 1: knew when I was running. Well, it was great. And 84 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:50,200 Speaker 1: then I didn't run as well, and it just all 85 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:52,440 Speaker 1: hell broke loose, right, it all fell apart. So that's 86 00:04:52,480 --> 00:04:54,640 Speaker 1: just like a little background tip. And then you know, 87 00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:56,479 Speaker 1: Chris and I met in college. We ran in college. 88 00:04:56,520 --> 00:04:58,760 Speaker 1: I ran a little teeny bit for the Nike Farm 89 00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:01,479 Speaker 1: team afterwards and then and that was it for me. 90 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:04,400 Speaker 1: And then we had kids and they basically had no 91 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:06,960 Speaker 1: choice in the whole world other than to become runners. 92 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:09,120 Speaker 1: We did not force them, but it's just what they knew, right, Like, 93 00:05:09,160 --> 00:05:11,120 Speaker 1: they literally grew up playing on the side of a 94 00:05:11,160 --> 00:05:14,440 Speaker 1: track while we were coaching. And so I started coaching 95 00:05:14,680 --> 00:05:18,200 Speaker 1: runners of all ages, and I realized in that I 96 00:05:18,279 --> 00:05:21,479 Speaker 1: saw so much of what I had been through where 97 00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:23,760 Speaker 1: so much of running as a mindset, So much of 98 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:25,719 Speaker 1: it is how you think about yourself, how you treat 99 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:29,279 Speaker 1: yourself when you have good results or bad. And I 100 00:05:29,400 --> 00:05:32,719 Speaker 1: just really realized after thirteen years of coaching runners, that 101 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:36,120 Speaker 1: really big part of it is the mindset piece, and 102 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:39,160 Speaker 1: that's the part that I really love. I really love 103 00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:44,919 Speaker 1: injecting that belief into somebody. And yeah, I've never looked back. 104 00:05:45,760 --> 00:05:49,560 Speaker 2: It's really invigorating, right to help other people realize their 105 00:05:49,640 --> 00:05:50,480 Speaker 2: own potential. 106 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:52,600 Speaker 1: It's the best job on earth. 107 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:54,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, I have the best job on Earth. 108 00:05:54,960 --> 00:05:58,160 Speaker 2: And did you have people in your life growing up 109 00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:01,479 Speaker 2: that really helped you in that arena that enabled you 110 00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:03,680 Speaker 2: to understand your full potential? 111 00:06:04,600 --> 00:06:07,200 Speaker 1: Uh No, which is like why I do it right. 112 00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:09,240 Speaker 1: So it's like you become what you didn't have a 113 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:11,800 Speaker 1: lot of times, you know, So it's like fuck, you know. 114 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:14,920 Speaker 1: Like and especially like the reason I started coaching youth 115 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,039 Speaker 1: is because our kids ran right and I wanted to 116 00:06:17,080 --> 00:06:19,359 Speaker 1: be their coach because I'm like, I want them to 117 00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:23,040 Speaker 1: be around somebody that shows them how fun running is 118 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:26,039 Speaker 1: and should be and how it's like the most amazing 119 00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:28,800 Speaker 1: sport on Earth. And I wanted them to be protected, 120 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:31,360 Speaker 1: and to have like real workouts and to be treated 121 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:34,080 Speaker 1: like real athletes, but also to be treated like kids 122 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:37,640 Speaker 1: who have fun and it's a social event going to practice. 123 00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:41,200 Speaker 1: So yeah, I want to be what I didn't have. 124 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:44,560 Speaker 3: You want to be what you didn't have? And why 125 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:45,400 Speaker 3: would you say that? 126 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:50,960 Speaker 2: It is important for us to show up for ourselves. 127 00:06:51,600 --> 00:06:53,200 Speaker 1: Because if we don't, then who else will? 128 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:53,560 Speaker 3: Right? 129 00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:57,080 Speaker 1: It all starts with us. It all starts with us. 130 00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,080 Speaker 3: It all starts with us. 131 00:06:59,160 --> 00:07:02,880 Speaker 2: So you and I here specifically today to talk about 132 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:08,320 Speaker 2: the concept of failure versus success. Now, something I talk 133 00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:11,800 Speaker 2: about a lot on the show, This concept of which 134 00:07:11,840 --> 00:07:15,120 Speaker 2: one intimidates or scares you more? Are you more scared 135 00:07:15,440 --> 00:07:19,559 Speaker 2: of failing or are you more scared of success? Now, 136 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:23,280 Speaker 2: if I was to ask Tammy that, let's say about 137 00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:27,480 Speaker 2: ten years ago, what would your answer have been? Oh? 138 00:07:27,560 --> 00:07:30,040 Speaker 1: My gosh, Like, literally ten years ago, I was on 139 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:33,480 Speaker 1: a blog of somebody's. She was doing this whole segment 140 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:36,280 Speaker 1: on people's fears, and I was like, oh, I got you, 141 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:38,680 Speaker 1: I got one. I have fear of success. So I like, 142 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:41,160 Speaker 1: literally ten years ago I was on a blog talking 143 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:44,200 Speaker 1: about my fear of success. It was just terrifying to me, 144 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:46,800 Speaker 1: and I would say only probably in the past three 145 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:49,160 Speaker 1: or four years have I been able to figure it 146 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:51,560 Speaker 1: out and to not really have it anymore, or at 147 00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:53,400 Speaker 1: least work through it if it comes back up again. 148 00:07:53,760 --> 00:07:57,760 Speaker 2: Some individuals listening to this podcast right now may think, 149 00:07:58,040 --> 00:07:58,360 Speaker 2: why are. 150 00:07:58,320 --> 00:07:59,320 Speaker 3: You scared of success? 151 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:03,440 Speaker 2: That feels so silly, But others may have a deep 152 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:07,040 Speaker 2: rooted fear of success and may not even know it. 153 00:08:07,080 --> 00:08:08,880 Speaker 3: Can you elaborate a little bit on that? 154 00:08:10,080 --> 00:08:16,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, So I think like we have it because our 155 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:18,960 Speaker 1: brain is trying to keep us safe from something, right, 156 00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:21,600 Speaker 1: So our brains are really good at protecting us from 157 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:23,880 Speaker 1: things that don't feel good or things that are uncomfortable 158 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:27,360 Speaker 1: or feel hard or take energy. And so it makes 159 00:08:27,400 --> 00:08:31,000 Speaker 1: sense why we have it because sometimes if people have 160 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:33,840 Speaker 1: this certain fear of a feeling that they don't want 161 00:08:33,840 --> 00:08:35,559 Speaker 1: to feel, our brain is like, uh uh uhh, we're 162 00:08:35,559 --> 00:08:37,200 Speaker 1: not going to do the thing that leads to success 163 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:39,480 Speaker 1: because you're not ready for that yet. And then I 164 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:41,600 Speaker 1: think like kind of a way to figure out if 165 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:44,720 Speaker 1: you have it is to just kind of ask yourself, 166 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,640 Speaker 1: like where you're feeling, like if success came to me today, Like, 167 00:08:47,679 --> 00:08:49,720 Speaker 1: so you have this goal, if it happened for me today? 168 00:08:49,760 --> 00:08:51,960 Speaker 1: Am I ready for it? Do I feel ready to 169 00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:56,360 Speaker 1: handle what comes? Because I think like fear of success 170 00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:59,120 Speaker 1: isn't You're not scared of the success itself, right, You're 171 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:02,240 Speaker 1: scared of them it will have on your life. So 172 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:04,760 Speaker 1: if you are successful, you might think, oh, well, then 173 00:09:04,760 --> 00:09:07,240 Speaker 1: I won't be able to live up to people's expectations 174 00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:10,840 Speaker 1: or to the standards of my coaches or my sponsors, 175 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:14,000 Speaker 1: or even of myself. Or if I have success, what 176 00:09:14,160 --> 00:09:16,480 Speaker 1: I what if it's not fun anymore once I get 177 00:09:16,520 --> 00:09:18,080 Speaker 1: to that place and then I'm like, Ooh, I did 178 00:09:18,160 --> 00:09:20,040 Speaker 1: all this work and spend all this time for this, 179 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:21,920 Speaker 1: and now I don't even want to do it anymore. 180 00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:24,520 Speaker 1: That was sort of what like one of my fear 181 00:09:24,559 --> 00:09:28,640 Speaker 1: of success things was. You might be thinking something like, well, 182 00:09:28,679 --> 00:09:30,679 Speaker 1: if I have success, I won't be able to handle 183 00:09:30,679 --> 00:09:32,760 Speaker 1: the pressure because it will be so much more high 184 00:09:32,840 --> 00:09:35,280 Speaker 1: stakes when I get there. It also might look like 185 00:09:35,720 --> 00:09:38,800 Speaker 1: if I have success, I won't have time for fun 186 00:09:38,880 --> 00:09:41,600 Speaker 1: and balance and social life anymore because I'll be so busy. 187 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:43,840 Speaker 1: So those are some kind of ways that it might 188 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:44,720 Speaker 1: show up for you. 189 00:09:45,920 --> 00:09:49,200 Speaker 2: Curious when did you first realize that you had a 190 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:50,360 Speaker 2: fear of success. 191 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:53,880 Speaker 1: Oh gosh, like this is probably going to get way 192 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:55,640 Speaker 1: too deep and dark. But I grew up with a 193 00:09:55,679 --> 00:09:58,960 Speaker 1: lot of trauma, and so like when we had happy 194 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:01,839 Speaker 1: days and everything was like holidays and stuff, shit hit 195 00:10:01,840 --> 00:10:04,000 Speaker 1: the fan, the other shoe dropped and it was awful. 196 00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:07,679 Speaker 1: And so I think like even in college, I realized, like, 197 00:10:08,280 --> 00:10:10,679 Speaker 1: this feels scary to be like, you know, so like 198 00:10:10,679 --> 00:10:12,680 Speaker 1: I would have a great race and then I was 199 00:10:12,800 --> 00:10:14,839 Speaker 1: I would feel like, holy shit, like this feels really 200 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:17,880 Speaker 1: scary and unsafe because like in my head, I'm just thinking, Okay, well, 201 00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:19,800 Speaker 1: what's going to happen to take all of this away? 202 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:21,800 Speaker 1: And so yeah, I think even in college running I 203 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:22,600 Speaker 1: really noticed it. 204 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:25,760 Speaker 2: Wow Wow, Yeah, I can definitely relate to that feeling 205 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:29,240 Speaker 2: and the life coaching course that I am currently, and 206 00:10:29,679 --> 00:10:32,000 Speaker 2: we talk a lot about the gremlin and how the 207 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:37,360 Speaker 2: gremlin is what creeps in and is preventative or tries 208 00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:41,120 Speaker 2: to prevent you from finding your own happiness from yeah, 209 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:43,480 Speaker 2: unlocking your potential. 210 00:10:43,520 --> 00:10:46,040 Speaker 3: It's like, yeah, but do you actually want this thing 211 00:10:46,080 --> 00:10:47,040 Speaker 3: that you think that you want? 212 00:10:47,200 --> 00:10:50,000 Speaker 1: Yep, But really it's there just to keep us safe, right, 213 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:52,000 Speaker 1: So we can just kind of like thank it and 214 00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:53,960 Speaker 1: see and you know be like, hey, you know, thank 215 00:10:53,960 --> 00:10:55,560 Speaker 1: you so much for looking out for me. But I 216 00:10:55,559 --> 00:10:57,280 Speaker 1: got this. I'm gonna be okay. 217 00:10:58,040 --> 00:10:59,679 Speaker 3: Yeah, I got this. I'm gonna be okay. 218 00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,600 Speaker 2: For the person that wants to be like I've got this, 219 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:07,360 Speaker 2: they want to conquer their fear of success, where do 220 00:11:07,440 --> 00:11:08,160 Speaker 2: they even begin? 221 00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:12,000 Speaker 1: Okay, so you got to begin with awareness. So really 222 00:11:12,040 --> 00:11:13,960 Speaker 1: just check in with yourself kind of with that question, 223 00:11:14,120 --> 00:11:17,240 Speaker 1: like if my success happened today, am I ready for it? 224 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:19,920 Speaker 1: Do I feel like? And you'll notice like in your body, 225 00:11:19,920 --> 00:11:21,880 Speaker 1: are you like excited, like hell yeah, or are you 226 00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,880 Speaker 1: like oh god, oh god, like I'm not ready. I 227 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:25,160 Speaker 1: need to do this or I need to do that. 228 00:11:25,600 --> 00:11:28,000 Speaker 1: So just really be honest with yourself, ask if you 229 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:32,440 Speaker 1: are ready for it, and then like literally get out 230 00:11:32,480 --> 00:11:34,880 Speaker 1: a pen and paper and whatever kind of like things 231 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:36,400 Speaker 1: come up where you're like, no, I don't feel ready, 232 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:37,960 Speaker 1: or like that would be so scary, or I don't 233 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,760 Speaker 1: have enough time. I wouldn't be fun. Write them down, 234 00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,480 Speaker 1: because for one, writing it down makes the gremlin not 235 00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:46,040 Speaker 1: look as scary anymore because you're like, oh wait, maybe 236 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:48,320 Speaker 1: that's not so bad. And so then you'll have this 237 00:11:48,440 --> 00:11:50,400 Speaker 1: list of things like Okay, I'll be too busy, I 238 00:11:50,400 --> 00:11:52,120 Speaker 1: won't have time for friends, I won't be able to 239 00:11:52,160 --> 00:11:54,640 Speaker 1: uphold expectation as sponsors. Let's just say those you're on 240 00:11:54,679 --> 00:11:57,360 Speaker 1: your list, and then you just go one by one 241 00:11:57,840 --> 00:12:00,679 Speaker 1: and you feel like you realize, is I even true? 242 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:02,959 Speaker 1: Is that really even a thing that could happen? Am 243 00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:06,800 Speaker 1: I worrying about something that might not ever happen? And 244 00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:09,280 Speaker 1: if it is true, what can I do about it? So, like, 245 00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:11,760 Speaker 1: if your concern was I won't have time for friends, 246 00:12:12,400 --> 00:12:14,320 Speaker 1: then how are you going to create safety for you 247 00:12:15,320 --> 00:12:18,320 Speaker 1: to know that you'll have time with friends even of success? Right, 248 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:21,440 Speaker 1: so you're like, okay, well, if I'm successful, I might 249 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:22,960 Speaker 1: not have time with friends. Well how are you going 250 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:24,760 Speaker 1: to figure that out? You can say, well, like, no, 251 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:26,760 Speaker 1: I'm going to say I'm not going to do any 252 00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:30,240 Speaker 1: events on Saturdays because that's my social day. And just 253 00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:33,640 Speaker 1: remembering that you have your own power over your own schedule, 254 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:36,320 Speaker 1: and so really you're just taking each fear at a 255 00:12:36,360 --> 00:12:39,840 Speaker 1: time and showing yourself how you can like combat that, 256 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:42,120 Speaker 1: like how you can overcome it. So then you have 257 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:44,400 Speaker 1: almost like an action plan, like Here's how I'm going 258 00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:47,160 Speaker 1: to create safety here's how I know I'm going to 259 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:49,319 Speaker 1: be okay if these things even do happen, which they 260 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:54,800 Speaker 1: probably won't, and then you'll be okay because really like okay, yeah, 261 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:57,080 Speaker 1: because if you have this fear of success hidden in you, 262 00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:58,800 Speaker 1: of course you're not going to go all in on 263 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:00,240 Speaker 1: your goals. You're not going to do all the things 264 00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:02,080 Speaker 1: you could because you have this fear of like, well, 265 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:04,680 Speaker 1: oh shit, if I do all these things and success happens, 266 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:07,160 Speaker 1: then I'm screwed because I don't feel ready yet. So 267 00:13:07,240 --> 00:13:09,480 Speaker 1: it's the secret thing that's holding you back from like 268 00:13:09,559 --> 00:13:10,760 Speaker 1: doing all the things. Right. 269 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,760 Speaker 2: You mentioned taking out a pen and paper, right, would 270 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:17,200 Speaker 2: you say that also sitting down and writing out what 271 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:20,520 Speaker 2: success would look and feel like can be helpful as well. 272 00:13:21,280 --> 00:13:25,160 Speaker 1: Awesome idea, yep, because you'll see like, oh, actually, maybe 273 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:27,559 Speaker 1: it's not even a thing to be worried about, right, 274 00:13:28,160 --> 00:13:30,000 Speaker 1: and like a lot you're So that's just such a 275 00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,640 Speaker 1: good point because a lot of times we haven't even 276 00:13:31,679 --> 00:13:34,560 Speaker 1: really thought through what it actually would look like to 277 00:13:34,640 --> 00:13:37,760 Speaker 1: be successful and to have that like goal happen for you, 278 00:13:38,320 --> 00:13:40,800 Speaker 1: and you might find like, oh, yeah, this is this 279 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:44,960 Speaker 1: is what I want for sure? This sounds amazing, Yeah. 280 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:47,760 Speaker 2: And being specific about some of those goals, right, because 281 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:51,960 Speaker 2: I've gone through periods of my career, especially as an 282 00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:56,240 Speaker 2: entrepreneur and my own boss, where I think really really 283 00:13:56,320 --> 00:13:59,839 Speaker 2: long term, like super zoomed out, and then I hit 284 00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:02,600 Speaker 2: a little bit of a hurdle in that I'm like, well, 285 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:05,240 Speaker 2: what am I working toward in this moment? Like what 286 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:09,840 Speaker 2: is something that is achievable within three months, six months, 287 00:14:09,880 --> 00:14:13,760 Speaker 2: a year that does have this other larger big picture 288 00:14:13,840 --> 00:14:17,120 Speaker 2: goal in mind, but feels a little bit more doable 289 00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:18,720 Speaker 2: in the moment totally. 290 00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:21,240 Speaker 1: That's an exercise I do with myself and with my clients, 291 00:14:21,280 --> 00:14:22,840 Speaker 1: like we take their big goal and then we break 292 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:26,400 Speaker 1: it down backwards from where the like where it happens, 293 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:28,080 Speaker 1: like you know, let's say a year from now, and 294 00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:30,920 Speaker 1: we bring it down to today. And then every day 295 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,720 Speaker 1: or every week, I would write down my goal, and 296 00:14:32,760 --> 00:14:34,280 Speaker 1: then I would write down, like what am I doing 297 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:36,800 Speaker 1: today to get me like one inch closer to that 298 00:14:36,880 --> 00:14:38,960 Speaker 1: goal happening. Just to like keep in touch with it 299 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,560 Speaker 1: and keep tethered and making sure that you're still like 300 00:14:41,640 --> 00:14:44,080 Speaker 1: working on the thing, because you can get lost on 301 00:14:44,120 --> 00:14:44,600 Speaker 1: the weeds. 302 00:14:44,960 --> 00:14:47,479 Speaker 2: You can get lost in the weeds it's super especially 303 00:14:47,560 --> 00:14:51,680 Speaker 2: when you feel like super excited about something right like, 304 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:55,760 Speaker 2: it kind of makes you. It puts you into a 305 00:14:55,800 --> 00:15:00,560 Speaker 2: frenzy and then you lose sight of what is possible 306 00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:07,400 Speaker 2: to accomplish, like in this moment upfront right now. Totally yeah, totally, totally, 307 00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:10,520 Speaker 2: so along the lines and in the same vein of 308 00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:13,000 Speaker 2: being afraid of success, we would be remiss if we 309 00:15:13,040 --> 00:15:18,120 Speaker 2: didn't talk about being afraid of failure. I'm sure many 310 00:15:18,160 --> 00:15:22,000 Speaker 2: listening can identify with that, with being scared of failing 311 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:26,840 Speaker 2: or perhaps even failing publicly in the age of social media. 312 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:28,640 Speaker 3: What do you say to those people. 313 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:32,400 Speaker 1: I say, stop being scared of if failure is going 314 00:15:32,440 --> 00:15:36,160 Speaker 1: to happen, because it is right. It's like really that simple. 315 00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:38,720 Speaker 1: You are going to fail. And when I say fail, 316 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:40,720 Speaker 1: I just mean you're going to get a result different 317 00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:42,040 Speaker 1: from the one that you set out to get. 318 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:42,520 Speaker 2: Right. 319 00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:45,960 Speaker 1: So let's say your goal is to break you know, 320 00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:48,520 Speaker 1: three hours in the marathon, and you run three h five. 321 00:15:49,520 --> 00:15:51,840 Speaker 1: I'm calling that a failure, just meaning the result was 322 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:54,360 Speaker 1: different than what you wanted. It doesn't have to be 323 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:56,880 Speaker 1: a bad word. That is not a bad f word 324 00:15:56,920 --> 00:16:00,080 Speaker 1: in my book at all. It's like Okay, cool, Now 325 00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:02,280 Speaker 1: what are we going to do about it? And but 326 00:16:02,400 --> 00:16:04,600 Speaker 1: I think if you can just start off accepting there 327 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:07,160 Speaker 1: are going to be setbacks, period. There are going to 328 00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:10,880 Speaker 1: be failures period. Every single big, badass goal that you're 329 00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:12,640 Speaker 1: ever going to do in your life, you're going to 330 00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:14,920 Speaker 1: have to fail at least once on your way there. 331 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:17,040 Speaker 1: I don't know anybody who's had a big goal that 332 00:16:17,120 --> 00:16:19,520 Speaker 1: hasn't had a failure. I mean, and like I tell 333 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,880 Speaker 1: my clients, it's like the chocolate chips and a chocolate 334 00:16:21,920 --> 00:16:25,400 Speaker 1: chip cookie recipe. It's just part of it. You can't 335 00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:27,200 Speaker 1: get to it without it. So if you can just 336 00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:29,160 Speaker 1: accept it, like, oh, yep, here it is. Here's the 337 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:32,120 Speaker 1: part where I fail. It's literally like a checkbox of 338 00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:34,720 Speaker 1: to do's on your way to the goal. And so 339 00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:37,920 Speaker 1: like when you have the failure, yeah, it's just like Okay, yep, 340 00:16:37,960 --> 00:16:39,560 Speaker 1: got that one out of the way. Let's keep going. 341 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:42,080 Speaker 1: And so you don't let it mean anything about you. 342 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,480 Speaker 1: It's not about you. It's just like, Okay, I had 343 00:16:44,480 --> 00:16:45,960 Speaker 1: to get through that thing. Let's keep going. 344 00:16:46,200 --> 00:16:52,600 Speaker 3: It's not a problem. 345 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:58,280 Speaker 2: Taking a break from today's episode to talk to you 346 00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:03,240 Speaker 2: about my sponsors for up. Starting with Whoop a fitness 347 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:06,479 Speaker 2: a wearable a companion app that specializes in breaking it 348 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:11,240 Speaker 2: down your recovery, sleep and workouts. Now I have been 349 00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:16,320 Speaker 2: a dialed in Whoop user since April twenty nineteen, and 350 00:17:16,600 --> 00:17:20,280 Speaker 2: I love it for so many reasons, but mostly because 351 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:24,359 Speaker 2: it is now a staple in my regular routine. Every 352 00:17:24,359 --> 00:17:27,800 Speaker 2: single morning. 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And 404 00:20:34,600 --> 00:20:38,960 Speaker 2: for me, I'm on your team where I definitely have 405 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:43,000 Speaker 2: been scared of success, right, And that's because I know 406 00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:46,600 Speaker 2: that I am so excellent at failing. 407 00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:49,240 Speaker 3: Like I am excellent at failing. 408 00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:52,280 Speaker 2: Like I got that one down, yeah, you know, like 409 00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:55,359 Speaker 2: I've done it really well many times, and I know 410 00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,520 Speaker 2: that I can pick myself up and move forward. 411 00:20:57,600 --> 00:20:59,960 Speaker 3: So knowing that, knowing what I know. 412 00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:04,680 Speaker 2: It makes the idea of success a little bit more intimidating. 413 00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:08,879 Speaker 1: Mm hmm. Yeah. But here's the thing. I have two 414 00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:11,640 Speaker 1: things to say. One is I take fear of success 415 00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:14,800 Speaker 1: as a good sign. It's like a hidden compliment because 416 00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,880 Speaker 1: you wouldn't be having it if you didn't think success 417 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:21,679 Speaker 1: was possible for you, right, You wouldn't have that scared 418 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:22,920 Speaker 1: of like, oh, I don't know if I'll be able 419 00:21:22,920 --> 00:21:24,560 Speaker 1: to handle it when it comes if you didn't think 420 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:27,879 Speaker 1: it was possible. So in there, somewhere in your brain 421 00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:30,360 Speaker 1: or your body or your soul, you know that you 422 00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:33,119 Speaker 1: are capable of achieving that and of making it happen. 423 00:21:33,640 --> 00:21:36,000 Speaker 1: So to me, it's like a really good sign. I'm like, oh, 424 00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,399 Speaker 1: thank you for knowing that I'm capable of this. I 425 00:21:38,480 --> 00:21:41,119 Speaker 1: just need to know how to handle these fears along 426 00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:43,320 Speaker 1: the way. The other thing I wanted to say is 427 00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:46,360 Speaker 1: fear of success and fear of failure are really kind 428 00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:50,240 Speaker 1: of like really really close sisters or something, because, like 429 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:51,800 Speaker 1: what I was saying, one of the examples of fear 430 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:53,800 Speaker 1: of success is what if I don't live up to 431 00:21:53,840 --> 00:21:56,720 Speaker 1: the standards or expectations that I've set. That's really just 432 00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:59,960 Speaker 1: a fear of failure, right, It's a fear of that you've, 433 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:02,320 Speaker 1: you know, reach this certain level and now you have 434 00:22:02,440 --> 00:22:06,280 Speaker 1: sponsors or coaches or whatever that are expecting that same 435 00:22:06,359 --> 00:22:07,919 Speaker 1: level or more of you, and you're scared that you 436 00:22:07,960 --> 00:22:09,639 Speaker 1: can't do it. So really it's just a fear of 437 00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:11,320 Speaker 1: failure kind of in disguise. 438 00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:14,240 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean this brings me back to thinking about 439 00:22:14,359 --> 00:22:17,679 Speaker 2: the big goal that I set in twenty nineteen for 440 00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:20,240 Speaker 2: the Chicago Marathon, and I was scared a little bit 441 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:22,840 Speaker 2: to put it out into the world because of this 442 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:27,840 Speaker 2: idea of quote unquote failing publicly. Thankfully a long story, 443 00:22:27,880 --> 00:22:30,720 Speaker 2: short spoiler alert, I ended up exceeding my. 444 00:22:30,760 --> 00:22:32,920 Speaker 3: Goal, crushing the goal. It was awesome. 445 00:22:33,359 --> 00:22:36,320 Speaker 2: But when I think about the feelings that I had 446 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:40,280 Speaker 2: surrounding that public proclamation of this thing that I wanted 447 00:22:40,680 --> 00:22:42,680 Speaker 2: at the end of the day, even if I didn't 448 00:22:42,680 --> 00:22:45,480 Speaker 2: get it, you get to a place where you realize 449 00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:49,120 Speaker 2: that you're really the person that cares the most like whatever, 450 00:22:49,280 --> 00:22:52,520 Speaker 2: regardless of what everybody else thinks, regardless of whatever it 451 00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:55,159 Speaker 2: is that you think that you're scared of, life is 452 00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:57,400 Speaker 2: going to go on if you don't quote unquote get 453 00:22:57,400 --> 00:22:58,960 Speaker 2: the thing that you're going for. 454 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:01,800 Speaker 1: Right, And let me just tell you this, Like I'm 455 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,679 Speaker 1: on a mission to have people normalize failure and to 456 00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:07,159 Speaker 1: celebrate it. So like when I have my group programs, 457 00:23:07,240 --> 00:23:09,440 Speaker 1: we literally have a place where you have to come 458 00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:11,959 Speaker 1: in and you have to post your fails and then 459 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,960 Speaker 1: everybody else collapse for you and they're like, hell, yeah, 460 00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:17,960 Speaker 1: sister or brother, whoever you did the thing. You went 461 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,600 Speaker 1: out and you tried, and you're a effing badass, right, 462 00:23:21,040 --> 00:23:23,400 Speaker 1: Because if we normalize it for each other, then we'll 463 00:23:23,440 --> 00:23:26,200 Speaker 1: start cheering each other on when we're badass and ballsy 464 00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:27,960 Speaker 1: enough to put ourselves out there and say, hey, I 465 00:23:28,000 --> 00:23:31,080 Speaker 1: want to run X time for Chicago Marathon, and then 466 00:23:31,119 --> 00:23:32,919 Speaker 1: those are going to be like your support crew. Those 467 00:23:32,960 --> 00:23:34,480 Speaker 1: are going to be the people that are loving you 468 00:23:34,520 --> 00:23:37,040 Speaker 1: and cheering for you no matter what you run. And 469 00:23:37,119 --> 00:23:39,480 Speaker 1: we just have to like build that in our communities 470 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:41,760 Speaker 1: of like, hey, friends, we're just gonna go fail together 471 00:23:41,920 --> 00:23:44,240 Speaker 1: big time. We're going to put ourselves out on the line. 472 00:23:44,280 --> 00:23:47,520 Speaker 1: How badass is that to state something like that publicly 473 00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:50,600 Speaker 1: and to know like this is you know, this is 474 00:23:50,600 --> 00:23:52,280 Speaker 1: what I want to do and I might not do it, 475 00:23:52,359 --> 00:23:53,720 Speaker 1: but I'm gonna go after it. 476 00:23:54,640 --> 00:23:55,000 Speaker 3: Yeah. 477 00:23:55,040 --> 00:23:57,119 Speaker 2: I love that that I'm gonna go after it. So, 478 00:23:57,880 --> 00:24:01,960 Speaker 2: going back to our convo on success, we talked about 479 00:24:02,000 --> 00:24:04,000 Speaker 2: some of those initial stuffs that we can take to 480 00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:08,280 Speaker 2: get more comfortable with the idea of succeeding. What would 481 00:24:08,320 --> 00:24:12,080 Speaker 2: you like to reiterate to the listeners I call them 482 00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:15,720 Speaker 2: the hurdlers about success in general. 483 00:24:16,080 --> 00:24:18,040 Speaker 3: What is someone supposed to do? 484 00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:20,560 Speaker 2: And I use the words to post in air quotes 485 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:22,879 Speaker 2: once they succeed. 486 00:24:23,600 --> 00:24:25,320 Speaker 1: Oh, this is such a good question. It's one of 487 00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,720 Speaker 1: my very, very very favorite things to talk about. Okay, 488 00:24:28,480 --> 00:24:32,040 Speaker 1: you need to sit in the glow and you need 489 00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:36,280 Speaker 1: to think about all the ways that you made it happen. 490 00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:39,920 Speaker 1: That you made it happen. So I'll have clients that 491 00:24:39,960 --> 00:24:41,800 Speaker 1: are like, yeah, I broke you know, I got a 492 00:24:41,800 --> 00:24:43,520 Speaker 1: PR on this race, and I'll say, oh, good, how 493 00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:45,239 Speaker 1: did you make that happen? And they'll say, well, it 494 00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:48,359 Speaker 1: was really good weather. Uh ah, friend, uh huh. Because 495 00:24:48,359 --> 00:24:51,639 Speaker 1: that's giving all your power away to something external. I 496 00:24:51,720 --> 00:24:54,720 Speaker 1: want to hear how you showed up all the time 497 00:24:54,760 --> 00:24:57,399 Speaker 1: for these workouts and these hill runs and these hard 498 00:24:57,440 --> 00:24:59,520 Speaker 1: long runs in the hot or in the cold, I 499 00:24:59,560 --> 00:25:02,960 Speaker 1: wouldn't hear or how you suffered and overcame and that's 500 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:05,080 Speaker 1: why you got the PR and your race today, not 501 00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:07,359 Speaker 1: because of the weather, not because it was like a 502 00:25:07,359 --> 00:25:10,919 Speaker 1: great crowd. Yes, those things can help, but don't attribute 503 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:13,320 Speaker 1: your success to things outside of you. And I know 504 00:25:13,359 --> 00:25:16,639 Speaker 1: that might sound like arrogant, and that's not what we're told, 505 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:18,800 Speaker 1: especially I think a lot of females are told like 506 00:25:18,880 --> 00:25:22,760 Speaker 1: not to like boost up how we created the results, 507 00:25:22,800 --> 00:25:25,400 Speaker 1: But it's so important, and I'll tell you it's important 508 00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:29,520 Speaker 1: because if you can own the wins that you've created, 509 00:25:29,560 --> 00:25:31,680 Speaker 1: if you can own your success and see that you're 510 00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:33,960 Speaker 1: the one who put that there, then you know that 511 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:37,199 Speaker 1: you can go create so much more success. You know 512 00:25:37,280 --> 00:25:39,879 Speaker 1: that you're capable of You don't get that imposter syndrome 513 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,800 Speaker 1: because you're like, no, I'm the one that did this. Yes, 514 00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:45,200 Speaker 1: I had help from coaches and friends, yes, but I'm 515 00:25:45,240 --> 00:25:46,800 Speaker 1: also the one that got my ass out there and 516 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,440 Speaker 1: ran every day. When you can own it, you can 517 00:25:49,520 --> 00:25:50,880 Speaker 1: go create so much more of it. 518 00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:53,919 Speaker 2: When you can own it, you can go create so 519 00:25:54,040 --> 00:25:57,520 Speaker 2: much more of it. And this also alludes to an 520 00:25:57,600 --> 00:26:02,440 Speaker 2: important tip when it comes to what happens after success 521 00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:04,960 Speaker 2: when you achieve one of your goals, What is the 522 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:08,320 Speaker 2: next thing that you want to do after you recognize 523 00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:09,680 Speaker 2: the journey that it took to get there. 524 00:26:10,359 --> 00:26:12,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, I want you to sit and not plan what's 525 00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:15,040 Speaker 1: next yet, because like so many people are like, Okay, 526 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,119 Speaker 1: what's your next race? And you're like, chill, friend, I 527 00:26:17,160 --> 00:26:19,399 Speaker 1: haven't even celebrated this one yet, Like let me go 528 00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:21,320 Speaker 1: have a beer and a burger and like hang out 529 00:26:21,640 --> 00:26:24,960 Speaker 1: and just like sit in the afterglow of it right 530 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:28,520 Speaker 1: own it. And also a lot of times I tell 531 00:26:28,560 --> 00:26:31,600 Speaker 1: people to plan for like nothing, plan for this just 532 00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:35,239 Speaker 1: like glow time's reflection time, this chill time. And if 533 00:26:35,280 --> 00:26:36,840 Speaker 1: you plan for it ahead of time, then you don't 534 00:26:36,840 --> 00:26:39,600 Speaker 1: get those like post success blues, because that can happen, 535 00:26:39,640 --> 00:26:41,720 Speaker 1: right because now you're like what am I even doing 536 00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:44,360 Speaker 1: on this earth? Now that all my like things have happened. 537 00:26:44,960 --> 00:26:47,480 Speaker 1: So sit in the glow, have fun, do some of 538 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:49,120 Speaker 1: the things that you maybe didn't get to do while 539 00:26:49,160 --> 00:26:52,119 Speaker 1: you were in serious training, and then once you just 540 00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:55,359 Speaker 1: like rejuvenate, get all your energy back, then you can think. 541 00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:56,560 Speaker 3: About what's next. 542 00:26:56,880 --> 00:26:59,359 Speaker 2: Right, right, So after you kind of have that emotional 543 00:26:59,400 --> 00:27:02,440 Speaker 2: and mental reset, then you can think about what's next 544 00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:07,280 Speaker 2: and realizing that whatever your goals are, whatever you've just accomplished, 545 00:27:07,320 --> 00:27:10,000 Speaker 2: it's okay to then pivot and set goals that are 546 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:14,439 Speaker 2: completely unrelated. Oftentimes, when we have our focus set in 547 00:27:14,520 --> 00:27:17,119 Speaker 2: one area of our life, other areas of our life 548 00:27:17,560 --> 00:27:20,000 Speaker 2: tend to fall by the wayside a little bit. So 549 00:27:20,480 --> 00:27:23,639 Speaker 2: taking a step back and asking yourself, like, where energetically 550 00:27:23,680 --> 00:27:27,840 Speaker 2: does it really feel right for me to move forward 551 00:27:27,920 --> 00:27:31,000 Speaker 2: to at this moment? What is it that I want 552 00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:33,399 Speaker 2: that would make me feel whole again? What is something 553 00:27:33,600 --> 00:27:37,199 Speaker 2: that truly makes me excited with passion and purpose? And 554 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:41,240 Speaker 2: it's okay if the answers to those questions change over time. 555 00:27:41,400 --> 00:27:44,040 Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, you're a human and you change. I love 556 00:27:44,040 --> 00:27:45,680 Speaker 1: that you said to check in with yourself and see 557 00:27:45,680 --> 00:27:48,200 Speaker 1: what feels good to you. And I think that's another 558 00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:51,680 Speaker 1: important thing about like your identity, So like when I'm 559 00:27:51,720 --> 00:27:54,320 Speaker 1: coaching young runners, and like, you're a runner, yes, but 560 00:27:54,400 --> 00:27:57,760 Speaker 1: what else are you? Because I don't want anybody on 561 00:27:57,800 --> 00:28:00,439 Speaker 1: the earth to just identify as one thing, So like, 562 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:02,680 Speaker 1: you're more than a podcaster, You're more than a runner. 563 00:28:02,720 --> 00:28:04,480 Speaker 1: You're a runner and a writer and an artist and 564 00:28:04,520 --> 00:28:06,679 Speaker 1: a teacher and a friend, like, I want you to 565 00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:08,640 Speaker 1: have this whole list of the things that you are 566 00:28:08,720 --> 00:28:11,680 Speaker 1: who make you you, because then to your point when 567 00:28:11,680 --> 00:28:13,800 Speaker 1: you're like ready to just kind of reset or shift 568 00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:16,040 Speaker 1: your focus a little bit, you know what it is 569 00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:18,000 Speaker 1: that makes you feel alive and that makes you feel 570 00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,080 Speaker 1: like you, And it's so important to get back to 571 00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:22,760 Speaker 1: those and to feed all those things of you. You're 572 00:28:22,800 --> 00:28:26,760 Speaker 1: not just a runner, you're so much more, so much more, so, 573 00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:27,359 Speaker 1: much more. 574 00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:29,600 Speaker 2: What else should we touch on when it comes to 575 00:28:29,640 --> 00:28:35,080 Speaker 2: this discussion of success, Tammy. 576 00:28:33,600 --> 00:28:39,680 Speaker 1: Hmm, okay. I think another one is sometimes your success 577 00:28:40,040 --> 00:28:44,320 Speaker 1: comes before your self concept catches up to it. So like, 578 00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:46,640 Speaker 1: for instance, I'll work with people that are starting new 579 00:28:46,640 --> 00:28:49,120 Speaker 1: businesses and all of a sudden, they'll have all these 580 00:28:49,120 --> 00:28:51,120 Speaker 1: clients or all this money come in, and they're like, 581 00:28:51,160 --> 00:28:53,760 Speaker 1: oh wait, wait, this doesn't feel like me, because they're 582 00:28:53,840 --> 00:28:56,160 Speaker 1: so used to telling themselves a story about like they 583 00:28:56,160 --> 00:28:58,160 Speaker 1: don't make money yet, or they don't have clients yet. 584 00:28:58,440 --> 00:29:01,040 Speaker 1: And so sometimes you almost to sit in this kind 585 00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:04,600 Speaker 1: of like pause phase to let your self concept of 586 00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:07,840 Speaker 1: who you are catch up to that level of success, 587 00:29:07,840 --> 00:29:10,840 Speaker 1: because sometimes it happens so fast it's almost like I 588 00:29:10,840 --> 00:29:13,040 Speaker 1: imagine like in cartoons where you're like sitting in a 589 00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:14,720 Speaker 1: car and like the wheels go out from under you 590 00:29:14,760 --> 00:29:17,160 Speaker 1: and you're just still sitting there. You're like, oh wait, wait, 591 00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:19,600 Speaker 1: I am the person that can run sub six minute 592 00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:22,280 Speaker 1: mile pace. Like you haven't been that before, and so 593 00:29:22,320 --> 00:29:24,040 Speaker 1: it might feel scary when you go through and you 594 00:29:24,080 --> 00:29:26,600 Speaker 1: get your split and it's like, you know, eleven fifty 595 00:29:26,640 --> 00:29:28,440 Speaker 1: eight for two miles and you're like, oh shit, Like 596 00:29:28,800 --> 00:29:31,120 Speaker 1: but you're like, oh no, I am this person who 597 00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:35,320 Speaker 1: can run sub six. So just sometimes if you're noticing 598 00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:37,400 Speaker 1: a lot of that this doesn't feel right or it 599 00:29:37,440 --> 00:29:41,400 Speaker 1: feels uncomfortable, just know you'll give yourself that pause, let 600 00:29:41,440 --> 00:29:42,800 Speaker 1: your self concept catch up. 601 00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:47,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, that self concept is such an important important point. 602 00:29:47,160 --> 00:29:52,040 Speaker 2: And also what we're touching on here is that inner dialogue, right, 603 00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:56,320 Speaker 2: knowing thathing's difference between what is fact, what is truth, 604 00:29:56,360 --> 00:29:59,240 Speaker 2: and how you feel, and that those two aren't always 605 00:29:59,240 --> 00:29:59,920 Speaker 2: one and the same. 606 00:30:00,840 --> 00:30:04,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, that's the whole basis of all my coaching is 607 00:30:04,040 --> 00:30:06,440 Speaker 1: like what are you thinking about and is this true? 608 00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:08,360 Speaker 1: Because there's a lot of ways for your brain to 609 00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:11,840 Speaker 1: interpret the situation, and let's find the way to interpret it. 610 00:30:11,840 --> 00:30:12,840 Speaker 1: That makes you feel good. 611 00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:15,320 Speaker 3: Oh so important, so important. 612 00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:19,880 Speaker 2: If you had to offer the hurdlars any last words 613 00:30:19,880 --> 00:30:22,560 Speaker 2: of wisdom on this topic, Tammy, what do you have 614 00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:22,960 Speaker 2: for them? 615 00:30:23,720 --> 00:30:26,280 Speaker 1: Hmmm? I mean I'm just such a big nerd and 616 00:30:26,280 --> 00:30:29,440 Speaker 1: a big fan of like notebooks and pins and journals, 617 00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:32,040 Speaker 1: because I do there is something so important and powerful 618 00:30:32,040 --> 00:30:35,959 Speaker 1: about putting thoughts to paper. I think that when you 619 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:40,240 Speaker 1: are having the resistance to really just ask yourself, what's 620 00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:43,320 Speaker 1: going on here? What am I scared of? And how 621 00:30:43,760 --> 00:30:46,000 Speaker 1: can I handle it? I know that I can. I 622 00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:47,920 Speaker 1: just have to figure out how, Like I just need 623 00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:49,400 Speaker 1: to figure out the steps that I'm going to take 624 00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:52,200 Speaker 1: to like overcome this fear, this resistance. I know I can, 625 00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:54,720 Speaker 1: but how and then just figure it out? Write it 626 00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:55,800 Speaker 1: out and you will. 627 00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:59,760 Speaker 3: You will, you will overcome. We love it. We love it. 628 00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:02,120 Speaker 2: T me. Talk to the hurdlers. Tell them how do 629 00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:03,800 Speaker 2: they follow along with you? How do they keep up 630 00:31:03,800 --> 00:31:05,920 Speaker 2: with you? Give us all of your details. 631 00:31:06,600 --> 00:31:10,280 Speaker 1: Okay, So my podcast is the Show Up Society Podcast. 632 00:31:10,320 --> 00:31:13,280 Speaker 1: It's all the places where podcasts are and probably the 633 00:31:13,320 --> 00:31:15,240 Speaker 1: most fun place to connect with me and hang out 634 00:31:15,240 --> 00:31:18,600 Speaker 1: with me is on Instagram And I'm also at show 635 00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:21,000 Speaker 1: up society on Instagram. I love hanging out with people 636 00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:25,840 Speaker 1: and my dms. Yeah, come find me, say hello, Say hello. 637 00:31:26,080 --> 00:31:28,720 Speaker 2: I'm over at emily A Bodi and at Hurdle Podcast. 638 00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:31,920 Speaker 2: Another Hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next time.