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Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter. And if you need

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Speaker 1: advice and relationships, dating, work, sex, parenting and more. Please

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Speaker 1: submit your Strawberry Letter to Steve HARVEYFM dot com and

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Speaker 1: click submit Strawberry Letter. We could be reading your letter

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Speaker 1: live on the air, just like we're going to read

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Speaker 1: this one right here, right now.

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Speaker 2: Buggle up, hold on tight, We got it for you.

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Speaker 3: Here.

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Speaker 1: It is letter subject he facetimed me while he was

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Speaker 1: with her. Dear Stephen Shirley. I met the love of

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Speaker 1: my life seven years ago and I was twenty one

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Speaker 1: years old at the time. He's three years older than

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Speaker 1: me and had already had a child. He was my

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Speaker 1: first everything, and he influenced everything I did. I overlooked

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Speaker 1: a lot of things he did because I was young

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Speaker 1: and crazy in love. He would be intimate with the

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Speaker 1: mother of his child, and he didn't try to hide it.

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Speaker 1: It made me feel like I wasn't good enough or

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Speaker 1: skilled enough at sex because he kept on having sex

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Speaker 1: with her. She threw it up in my face whenever

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Speaker 1: she could, so I finally broke up with him. I

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Speaker 1: was heartbroken, but managed to stay friends with him. He

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Speaker 1: ended up having another child with this lady and told

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Speaker 1: me that it was a big mistake. Then he started

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Speaker 1: dating this lady he worked with, and they had a

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Speaker 1: baby together. After his third child was born, he came

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Speaker 1: to me humbly and said he was so tired of

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Speaker 1: how he had been doing things and he wanted me back.

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Speaker 1: He also said he was ready to get married. We

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Speaker 1: got back together eight months ago, and I'm pregnant. He

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Speaker 1: seemed to be happy when I told him, and he

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Speaker 1: said he would have my dream wedding. We would have

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Speaker 1: my dream wedding, but that's on hold for now. Week ago,

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Speaker 1: he went to visit his youngest son and we were

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Speaker 1: on FaceTime as he drove. When he got out of

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Speaker 1: the car, he thought he had hung up and he

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Speaker 1: must have thrown his phone in his pocket. I heard

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Speaker 1: a female mumbling, and then I clearly heard her ask

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Speaker 1: if he had a condom. Then I heard a lot

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Speaker 1: of moaning. I hung up and I got physically ill.

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Speaker 1: When he came back, I didn't let him know what

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Speaker 1: I'd heard. I'm about to deliver his fourth child and

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Speaker 1: he's still a liar and a cheater. I don't want

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Speaker 1: to be a single parent. What should I do now? Well, girl,

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Speaker 1: you got to get it together, I mean quickly and

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Speaker 1: in a hurry. You're about to deliver his fourth child.

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Speaker 1: You got to just stop being stupid. These are some

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Speaker 1: stupid moves you've been making, you know, with this man.

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Speaker 1: This guy's been using you, lying to you all along,

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Speaker 1: and you keep on falling for it. I know you're young,

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Speaker 1: but I mean you could have just asked him to

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Speaker 1: use a condom. You could have to use protection. It's

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Speaker 1: okay to say that, you know, or did you want

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Speaker 1: to get pregnant by him? I'm not so sure you didn't,

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Speaker 1: you know because you were so happy to have him back.

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Speaker 1: I mean, and did you think that a baby would

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Speaker 1: keep him well? As you can clearly see, it didn't.

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Speaker 1: And now although you may not want to be a

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Speaker 1: single parent, you will be. This guy is a loser

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Speaker 1: in every sense of the word, who just keeps dropping

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Speaker 1: babies wherever he goes. I mean, he's not thinking about protection.

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Speaker 1: And you know, you never once said at least he's

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Speaker 1: a good father, because he's not. He's not. Let's face it,

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Speaker 1: he's too busy making kids and he's immature like a kid.

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Speaker 1: I'm sorry you loved him more than you loved you

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Speaker 1: and got yourself caught up in his game of lies

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Speaker 1: and deceit. But please know that it is not the

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Speaker 1: end of the world for you. First of all, please

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Speaker 1: don't even consider marrying this guy right now. I mean

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Speaker 1: you need to walk away from this toxic relationship. It

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Speaker 1: is now time to make plans for a future without him.

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Speaker 1: Use this time. I'm telling you to use this time

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Speaker 1: to figure out how are you going to take care

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Speaker 1: of your baby and taking that baby daddy to court

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Speaker 1: right now?

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Speaker 2: Steve, Wow, this love of here.

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Speaker 1: Man.

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Speaker 3: Listen, I feel bad for this lady right here, this

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Speaker 3: young girl. But this started wrong, and it's wrong from

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Speaker 3: the very beginning, and there are no corrections being made

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Speaker 3: along the way. And now you're faced with the ultimatum

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Speaker 3: at the end of this letter. You're simply saying, I

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Speaker 3: don't want to be a single parent. What should I

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Speaker 3: do now? Well, let me show you what has happened

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Speaker 3: so I can paint a clear picture of you. You met

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Speaker 3: the love of your life seven years ago.

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Speaker 2: Stop saying that because this is the love of your life, your.

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Speaker 3: Life is headed for a loveless, remaining livelihood.

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Speaker 2: This can't be the love of your life. This was

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Speaker 2: the love of your life.

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Speaker 3: So you thought up until that point, but after you

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Speaker 3: met him, he started proving to you he was not

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Speaker 3: the love of your life. You've got to get a

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Speaker 3: better definition of love of your life. You got to

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Speaker 3: learn how to let somebody else love you that knows

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Speaker 3: how to do it. Twenty one, he's three years older,

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Speaker 3: he already had a child. He was my first everything.

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Speaker 3: He influenced everything I did. I overlooked a lot of

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Speaker 3: things he.

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Speaker 2: Did because I was young and crazy enough. Right there,

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Speaker 2: right there, you made the.

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Speaker 3: Statement, young lady, that I want you to pay attention

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Speaker 3: to I overlooked a lot of things he did because

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Speaker 3: I was young and crazy in love. He would be

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Speaker 3: intimate with the mother of his child. He didn't try

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Speaker 3: to hide it, so he just throw it up in

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Speaker 3: your face. It made me feel like I wasn't good

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Speaker 3: enough or skilled enough as sex because he kept having

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Speaker 3: sex with him, and you knew he was kept having

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Speaker 3: sex with her, and you allowed him to have sex,

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Speaker 3: and then you can having sexuate. And then the lady

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Speaker 3: threw it up in your face whenever she could. And

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Speaker 3: now you got other women calling you about the love

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Speaker 3: of your life, and the love of your life is

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Speaker 3: screwing all these other people. I was hard broken, but

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Speaker 3: I managed to stay friends with him.

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Speaker 2: Why?

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Speaker 3: Why what has he done that's friendly towards you?

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Speaker 2: You know, we need to do two.

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Speaker 3: Things right now when we come back, we talk about it.

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Speaker 3: You need a new definition of friend and you need

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Speaker 3: a new definition of love.

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Speaker 1: Wow, all right, Steve, hold on to that thought. We'll

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Speaker 1: get part two of your response coming up at twenty

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Speaker 1: three minutes after the hours subject he face timed me

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Speaker 1: while he was with her. We'll get back into it

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Speaker 1: right after this. You're listening, Steve Hardy Morning Show. All right, Steve,

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Speaker 1: come on, let's recap today's strawberry letter. The subject he

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Speaker 1: face timed me when he was with her.

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Speaker 3: This young lady who I have no jokes for because

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Speaker 3: I'm heartbroken for her because the twenty one she claimed

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Speaker 3: to have met the love of her life, which was

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Speaker 3: just the love of her life up at that point.

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Speaker 3: But this guy has shown her no respect or love.

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Speaker 3: He was your first everything. He influenced everything you did,

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Speaker 3: and the mistake you made was I overlooked a lot

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Speaker 3: of things he did because I was young and crazy

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Speaker 3: in love.

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Speaker 2: So what did you do?

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Speaker 3: You allowed him to have sex with other women repeatedly

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Speaker 3: that you knew about it. They had other women call

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Speaker 3: you to confront you about the screwing that he was

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Speaker 3: doing with them. You allowed it, and you allowed him

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Speaker 3: to put it.

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Speaker 2: In front of your face because he didn't care that

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Speaker 2: you knew about it.

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Speaker 3: Okay, these are the stuff did you allowed to happen

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Speaker 3: because you was young and crazy in love. Now let's

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Speaker 3: move on. So finally you broke up with him. You say,

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Speaker 3: but y'all remain friends. Why what friendly was he towards you?

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Speaker 3: He's done nothing but dog you the entire time. That

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Speaker 3: ain't love of friendship. I was heartbroken, but manistate friends

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Speaker 3: with wind of He ended up having another child with

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Speaker 3: this lady. So now that lady they had another baby

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Speaker 3: and told me that it was a big mistake. Then

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Speaker 3: he started dating a lady from work and they had

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Speaker 3: a baby together. Now, after the third child was born,

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Speaker 3: he came to you humbly and said he was so

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Speaker 3: tired of how he's been doing things and he wanted

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Speaker 3: you back. He also said he was ready to get married. Oh,

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Speaker 3: he said everything you wanted to hear. We got ben

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Speaker 3: together eight months ago, and I'm pregnant he seemed to

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Speaker 3: be so happy when I told him, he said we

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Speaker 3: would have my dream wedding.

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Speaker 2: But all that's on whole now.

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Speaker 3: You know why because a week ago he went to

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Speaker 3: visit his youngest son and we were on FaceTime as

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Speaker 3: he drove. When he got out the car, he thought

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Speaker 3: he had hung up, and he must have thrown his

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Speaker 3: phone in his pocket. You heard a female moumling, and

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Speaker 3: you clearly heard her ask if he had a condom.

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Speaker 2: Then I heard a lot of moaning. I hung up

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Speaker 2: and I got physically ill.

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Speaker 3: When he came back, he go to other mistaken I

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Speaker 3: did not let him know what I heard. Now I'm

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Speaker 3: about to deliver his fourth child. He's still a liar

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Speaker 3: and a Cheatah has been that the entire time.

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Speaker 2: And I don't want to be a single parent. What

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Speaker 2: should I do now?

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Speaker 3: So, young lady, you don't want to be a single parent,

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Speaker 3: So the only other option is this. You can get

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Speaker 3: married and ruin your entire remaining life by being married

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Speaker 3: to this liar and this cheater. All you could take

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Speaker 3: this blessed this baby. Learn from your mistakes. Never allow

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Speaker 3: another person to walk over you. Take your child, raise him,

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Speaker 3: and then wait on your real love of your life

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Speaker 3: to come along. You're still young. You're still young. This

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Speaker 3: is not the end of the world for you. The

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Speaker 3: baby is not a mistake.

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Speaker 2: It's not.

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Speaker 3: The baby is fine. The baby will you'll You'll be fine.

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Speaker 3: You will manage, just like every other single parent does.

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Speaker 3: Do not marry this man. Now he gonna have to

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Speaker 3: get his But it's not up you. It's not up

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Speaker 3: to you to give it to it. Let me tell

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Speaker 3: you something, ladies, y'all waste a lot of time being scorn,

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Speaker 3: and I do understand it, and I ain't saying it shouldn't.

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Speaker 2: Be that way.

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Speaker 3: Because you hurt, you hurt. He'll have no fury like

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Speaker 3: a woman scorn. I used to think it was a

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Speaker 3: Bible verse. I swear to God I did. I thought

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Speaker 3: it was a Bible verse. It's not, but it sounds

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Speaker 3: so true. And they use the word scorn. Scorn is

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Speaker 3: a biblical term. That's why I thought it was a

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Speaker 3: Bible verse.

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Speaker 2: But it's not. So.

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Speaker 3: Now you have it, you have a decision to make.

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Speaker 3: Cut your losses from this man. Stop giving yourself to

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Speaker 3: this man. Stop thinking you can change this man, Stop

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Speaker 3: hoping this man changes.

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Speaker 2: You may have been the love.

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Speaker 3: He may have been the love of your life, but

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Speaker 3: listen to me, young sister, you have never been the

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Speaker 3: love of his life ever.

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Speaker 1: He knows nothing about it.

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Speaker 3: And you are not now, so let God handle him.

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Speaker 3: Oh please know he got his coming. Ladies, dudes that

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Speaker 3: do like this, they don't get away scot free.

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Speaker 2: I'm just why. I just need you to know that.

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Speaker 1: And he'll probably have more kids with other women.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean a lot of stuff gonna happen, but

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Speaker 2: it don't need to happen in your face though.

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Speaker 1: Nope, nope.

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Speaker 3: You could take your baby and get along and start over.

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Speaker 3: And it happens all the time. There are men who

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Speaker 3: accept women who have children with open arms, become great fathers,

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Speaker 3: great families, They adopted kids, the kids take their nail.

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Speaker 3: All types of stuff happened. Don't think it's hopeless for you.

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Speaker 3: But please do not let your yearning not to be

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Speaker 3: a single parent, wanting not to be a single parent,

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Speaker 3: be in your decision in fact of whether you marry

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Speaker 3: this worthless, no good human being. For don't compound your mistakes.

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Speaker 3: Your mistake was taking him back. Don't compound it by

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Speaker 3: keeping him. Let it go, little girl, Uncle Steve telling

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Speaker 3: you walk off, cut your losses, tell him what you

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Speaker 3: know so he know, and go on about your.

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Speaker 1: Best Steve, thank you. Post your comments on today's Strawberry Letter.

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Speaker 1: It's Steve Harvey FM on Instagram and Facebook. Check out

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Speaker 1: the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. You're listening to Steve

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Speaker 1: Harvey Morning Show.