Speaker 1: Hello, Welcome to get mail. It is a thing where
Speaker 1: I read mail as a gecko, and I am assuming
Speaker 1: that if you're listening to this show that you know
Speaker 1: who I am, or if you don't, that's okay, I'll
Speaker 1: fill you in. I'm a guy, and we have one
Speaker 1: thing in common if you're listening to this, is that
Speaker 1: we're both not dead. How amazing is that? How amazing
Speaker 1: is it that we're both not dead? You know? I mean,
Speaker 1: I what's this? Hold on? Let me google this real quick?
Speaker 1: How many of the people who ever lived are dead? Okay? Okay,
Speaker 1: so if we add the number? Okay, all right, look,
Speaker 1: I gotta I got it right here. Okay, ninety four
Speaker 1: percent of all people who have ever lived are dead.
Speaker 1: This is from Google, which is uh, you know, is smart. Uh.
Speaker 1: And that means that for every one person alive today,
Speaker 1: there are fourteen people who are dead. Not saying that
Speaker 1: that one person killed those fourteen people, but just as
Speaker 1: a statistic, So, I mean, there's basically that means that
Speaker 1: there's a what's six to over ten? How do we okay,
Speaker 1: what's one hundred divided by six? I'm trying to simplify
Speaker 1: this fraction. There's like a Okay, wait whatever, there's something
Speaker 1: like a one in sixteen chance that you're you're that
Speaker 1: you're alive, and you're alive. You're part of the six percent.
Speaker 1: You're part of the lucky six percent of folks that
Speaker 1: are that are still got some time. Ninety four percent
Speaker 1: of all people have no time, and they're dead forever.
Speaker 1: They're never coming back. If you die, if you were
Speaker 1: like a guy or a girl in the year seventeen
Speaker 1: not even seventeen hundred. Let's go back further, if you
Speaker 1: were a guy or a girl in the year thirteen hundred,
Speaker 1: if you were a guy and the girl a million
Speaker 1: years ago. I don't know when humans came into being,
Speaker 1: but whatever, some people they died like three thousand years
Speaker 1: ago and that was it. And we ain't heard a
Speaker 1: sound from those people in three thousand years. And I
Speaker 1: wouldn't hold out a hope because the people that died
Speaker 1: three thousand years ago, they're not coming back. They were alive.
Speaker 1: The amount of time that they were alive compared to
Speaker 1: the amount of time that they'll be dead is so minischool.
Speaker 1: And in this very moment that you're listening to this
Speaker 1: fucking podcast, you're part of the you're living the tiny
Speaker 1: little speck of existence that you're ever gonna live, and
Speaker 1: then you're gonna be dead forever. And I don't know
Speaker 1: that's cool. Welcome to gek mail. My name is Lyle,
Speaker 1: and I'm gonna read male from people who have emailed me.
Speaker 1: I cannot read male from people who have not emailed
Speaker 1: me because there's no male to read. So let's do
Speaker 1: this and then and we also exist at the same
Speaker 1: time as one another, which is kind of insane when
Speaker 1: you think about it. We're the six percent. We're all
Speaker 1: the six percent. We're all the six percent. All right,
Speaker 1: how do they know that? Demo demographers estimate that around
Speaker 1: one hundred and seventeen billion people have ever lived on Earth.
Speaker 1: This number is calculated by making assumptions about population size
Speaker 1: throughout history and applying birth rates to each pyramid period.
Speaker 1: That's fucking stupid. All right, let's keep going. Let's or
Speaker 1: I guess let's start all right. This is from Louis
Speaker 1: subject line horn a controversial opinion. All right, Hello, I
Speaker 1: would like to remain anonymous. Please, I'm writing to you
Speaker 1: hoping that you can give me a second opinion on
Speaker 1: this matter that has been weighing heavily on my relationship
Speaker 1: with my boyfriend lately. I am especially curious about your opinion,
Speaker 1: as you are a man and have openly said on
Speaker 1: the show that you do indulge in watching porn as well.
Speaker 1: I really got to remember that people actually listen to
Speaker 1: this podcast, so that when I say things people can
Speaker 1: hear them. I gotta, I gotta keep that in mind.
Speaker 1: But I mean, yeah, I watch I watch porn. Sure,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to watch it less I'm trying to watch
Speaker 1: I don't. I actively. It's kind of like how people
Speaker 1: will hit me up and be like, hey, I want
Speaker 1: your opinion on this weed thing, because you smoke weed
Speaker 1: every day, and I'm like, look, I have I do
Speaker 1: these things, but I don't like it, and the perfect
Speaker 1: version of my life.
Speaker 2: I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't watch porn. But anyway, okay, all right. My
Speaker 1: controversial opinion is that porn is that porn is cheating.
Speaker 1: I have a few different points to make here. The
Speaker 1: argument my boyfriend made is that it does not count
Speaker 1: because it's not real. It's just a video okay, that
Speaker 1: is in fact a real woman. Why are these women
Speaker 1: in the porn industry seen as objects? And not real women.
Speaker 1: For perspective, if the woman was in the room with
Speaker 1: him and he was simply watching her and getting off
Speaker 1: to it, would that be considered cheating? Why is it
Speaker 1: different because it's a video. What if a woman sent
Speaker 1: him a video of herself and he used this to
Speaker 1: get off would that be considered okay because it is
Speaker 1: a video and quote not real. Secondly, he asked me, well,
Speaker 1: wouldn't you rather me watch porn than cheat on you?
Speaker 1: That's a stupid thing to say. This was a huge
Speaker 1: issue for me. This makes me feel like I am
Speaker 1: being given an ultimatum. Let my boyfriend jack off to
Speaker 1: other women or get cheated on. Cool. I've surfed read
Speaker 1: it quite a bit on the topic, just to get
Speaker 1: some outside opinion, and a lot of men have this standpoint.
Speaker 1: Why should women have to fear being cheated on because
Speaker 1: they do not feel comfortable allowing their significant other to
Speaker 1: watch porn? Lastly, and most importantly, porn desensitizes the brain.
Speaker 1: There are all caps many studies on this. If you
Speaker 1: are allowing yourself to look at other women lustfully and
Speaker 1: satisfy your sexual needs, where is the line the intimacy
Speaker 1: of sex is lost? Before I get a bunch of
Speaker 1: hate for being insecure or possessive. Let me just say
Speaker 1: that everyone has their own boundaries and preferences, and this
Speaker 1: is just my own. I do not feel comfortable with it.
Speaker 1: I love my boyfriend, but if it continues to be
Speaker 1: an issue, I have no problem breaking off the relationship
Speaker 1: and finding someone who has similar morals and will respect
Speaker 1: my boundaries. I could go on and on here, but
Speaker 1: I am really trying to keep this short and sweet.
Speaker 1: Thanks in advance to really enjoy the show. Much love. Okay,
Speaker 1: first of all, look, I mean look, I mean, look,
Speaker 1: you don't even tell you this because you said it yourself.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: Look, it's a free country, it's a you're a free
Speaker 1: human being. You're you're if if if you don't want
Speaker 1: your significant other to watch porn, if that's the the
Speaker 1: fucking u fence you're putting up, I mean, god damn,
Speaker 1: Like you know you have the whether or not it's
Speaker 1: insecure or possessive. Is I you know, I'm less in
Speaker 1: It doesn't really matter, like you can if that's what
Speaker 1: you want, If that's the boundary you want to set,
Speaker 1: then God bless you the whole thing of I I
Speaker 1: do I do think saying would you rather I would
Speaker 1: rather watch? Would you rather be? Watch porn? Or cheat
Speaker 1: on you? It's kind of stupid, like those are the
Speaker 1: two options. But I mean, look, man, it's pretty easy.
Speaker 1: It's like, look, if you don't like your boyfriend watching porn,
Speaker 1: and your boyfriend don't watch stop, want to stop watching porn?
Speaker 1: Fucking go go go go find a go to Utah.
Speaker 1: All right, find a nice Mormon gentleman, and uh, you know,
Speaker 1: tell him that if he watches porn, God will strike
Speaker 1: him down and use that fear to uh you know,
Speaker 1: get him to do what you want. No, uh yeah, yeah, uh,
Speaker 1: find find a nice uh Mormon gentleman, and uh you know,
Speaker 1: you guys, go be happy together and and don't watch
Speaker 1: porn and live your life. Yeah, okay, let's keep going.
Speaker 1: Oh look at this. I love this one. This is
Speaker 1: from Emily. Subject line how do I Stop being annoying?
Speaker 1: What a great subject line for an email. Hello GEK,
Speaker 1: my name is Emily. I recently have become very self away,
Speaker 1: and it's become a curse and a blessing. Although I
Speaker 1: feel like I've become a better person because of it,
Speaker 1: I also feel like I'm so aware of how much
Speaker 1: I talk that I'm spiraling, that I have been that
Speaker 1: one annoying person my whole life, and I don't know
Speaker 1: how to control it. My nearest resolution was to talk less,
Speaker 1: but so far I have failed. I'm conflicted with the
Speaker 1: fact that I should not have to change who I am.
Speaker 1: I recently spent two hours ranting to my parents about
Speaker 1: my job, and afterwards I felt this immense sense of
Speaker 1: guilt because I feel like I annoyed them the whole time.
Speaker 1: Just looking for thought, Thanks gek, Emily. Wow, what a
Speaker 1: great email. What a great email. I want to take
Speaker 1: a second to collect my thoughts on this. First of all,
Speaker 1: I just I really believe this. I believe this in
Speaker 1: my soul, deeply. I really believe this. I'm gonna say
Speaker 1: this listen. First of all, being annoying is not that bad.
Speaker 1: I just want you to know, Emily, even if you are,
Speaker 1: and I'm not gonna I don't know you. I don't
Speaker 1: know if you're annoying or not. Even if you're annoying,
Speaker 1: it's not that bad. Like I swear on my life,
Speaker 1: you know what. I know that, like, being annoying is
Speaker 1: not commonly seen as a actively positive trait. But uh,
Speaker 1: it's it's not that bad. Being annoying and kind of
Speaker 1: sucking and like being irritating is not that bad. You
Speaker 1: could be There's way worse things you could be than annoying.
Speaker 1: You could be fucking uh, you could be uh nasty,
Speaker 1: you can be mean, you can be cold, you can
Speaker 1: be harsh, you can be so many other things besides
Speaker 1: just annoying. So just first of all, being annoying to
Speaker 1: me is it's a neutral thing. It's not actively bad. Okay.
Speaker 1: The second thing is, so, uh you're try I think
Speaker 1: there's something there's it's you're bringing up a very interesting
Speaker 1: conflict that a lot of people, myself included have, which
Speaker 1: are okay, Uh, convention, I don't know. Modern wisdom says
Speaker 1: to be yourself Jesus, just unabashedly be yourself, be who
Speaker 1: you are, and you'll attract the right people. And you'll
Speaker 1: the people that you turn away will it doesn't matter
Speaker 1: because they weren't the right fit for your life anyway.
Speaker 1: That's what modern wisdom tells you and I and.
Speaker 2: I I believe that to a degree, although as I
Speaker 2: get older and as I have more life experience, I
Speaker 2: continue to I check back in on that belief and
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, maybe I should cut my fucking hair,
Speaker 2: you know something like that. Right, So, I think it's
Speaker 2: probably somewhere in between. It's like, look, you don't want
Speaker 2: to like kill off the essence of who you are
Speaker 2: to fit into society.
Speaker 1: But if you make the conscious choice where you're like,
Speaker 1: you know what, Like like, I actually love the way
Speaker 1: you're coming at this, You're like, you know what, look
Speaker 1: like you're laying it out on the table. You're being
Speaker 1: very logical. You're like, look, I have identified that I
Speaker 1: am a little annoying, and I'm going to make and
Speaker 1: I would like to fit in better into society because
Speaker 1: I have decided that that will make me happier, that
Speaker 1: will improve my life being less annoying. Therefore, I am
Speaker 1: going to make a conscious effort to be less annoying.
Speaker 1: I think that's fair. I think there's a lot I
Speaker 1: think like accepting yourself and trying to change yourself. There's
Speaker 1: a yin and yang to it. And I wouldn't I
Speaker 1: don't want to blind I wouldn't blindly follow either the
Speaker 1: conventional wisdom of be yourself versus step in line. You
Speaker 1: got to find a nice little in between, right, But
Speaker 1: this is this email. This is from a person who's
Speaker 1: decided that they're annoying and wants to change. And I'm well, okay,
Speaker 1: I know you're conflicted that you should not have to change.
Speaker 1: Uh sorry, I don't know if you said that you well,
Speaker 1: actually know I'm lying you. Okay, your new year's resolution,
Speaker 1: it says here, my new year's resolution was to talk less. Okay,
Speaker 1: So you made an active effort to be less annoying,
Speaker 1: which I respect. I respect. I think I think it's
Speaker 1: good to yeah, work on yourself here, but but just
Speaker 1: with like with like talking too much. I mean, look, Emily,
Speaker 1: here's the talk as much as you want. But I
Speaker 1: think if you're having a conversation with somebody, you want
Speaker 1: to be to some degree, you want to be conscious
Speaker 1: of them to some degree of course, and uh, you know,
Speaker 1: just make sure you're in your conversations you're having a
Speaker 1: give and take, you know that, because nobody, I guess
Speaker 1: nobody wants to be like talked at in their interactions.
Speaker 1: They want a little bit of like like, go ahead
Speaker 1: and rant for an hour, but then after that you're done,
Speaker 1: be like but what you know, how was your day.
Speaker 1: What's going on with you? You are right? Was everything? Okay?
Speaker 1: A really beautiful relationship is two people each taking turns
Speaker 1: ranting at each other for two hours. So you know,
Speaker 1: don't feel don't don't don't feel guilty, don't feel shamed
Speaker 1: about being annoying. It's I swear on my life. There's
Speaker 1: so much worse things you could be than be annoying.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I don't. I don't know. I that was
Speaker 1: my That was more of an analysis than it was advice,
Speaker 1: which is good because I like analysises are Okay, you
Speaker 1: said I'm looking for thought. That's great. I feel like
Speaker 1: I didn't give Okay, you didn't say you're looking for advice.
Speaker 1: You said you were looking for thought, and I feel
Speaker 1: like I gave that. Okay, Now I'm being a little annoying, which,
Speaker 1: by the way, as I've established, is fine. Let's keep going,
Speaker 1: all right. This is from Marcella subject line working at
Speaker 1: best Buy a free experience. Hi, Lyle, I feel like
Speaker 1: I need to get this story off my chest. I
Speaker 1: worked at best Buy for two years twenty twenty one
Speaker 1: to twenty twenty three. I started as seasonal and then
Speaker 1: became a full time Verizon rep. I started noticing odd
Speaker 1: things around the building. One morning, I walk in and
Speaker 1: my manager is giving someone else a BackRub, not realizing
Speaker 1: I was in there. Flash forward a few months later,
Speaker 1: a new guy starts up front. He seems normal until
Speaker 1: he drops his phone on the floor and I go
Speaker 1: to pick it up and his lock screen is presumably
Speaker 1: him and his friends at a furry convention. So what off?
Speaker 1: All right? Hold on? Kind of fuck this person who
Speaker 1: wrote this email? All right, hold on, hold on. I
Speaker 1: cannot hold this news in any longer. And I go
Speaker 1: to tell my other coworkers, and dude, okay, hold on.
Speaker 1: The person who wrote this email bothers the shit out
Speaker 1: of me, okay, because you're being a little bit of
Speaker 1: a prick. And here's the thing. Okay, so what all right?
Speaker 1: So you saw your friend by the way, here's the thing.
Speaker 1: I just I'm not.
Speaker 3: I do.
Speaker 1: We've talked about this on this fucking show a billion times,
Speaker 1: but I'll just just to say it again. I I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't think that I am uh in any I
Speaker 1: am not in any way, shape or form associated with
Speaker 1: the furry subculture. It's its own thing. However, as a
Speaker 1: pure like from a purely logistical standpoint and symbolic standpoint.
Speaker 1: I am undeniably an adult man who regularly wears an
Speaker 1: animal costume. I am undeniably that I don't think that
Speaker 1: that makes me a furry, but I do think and
Speaker 1: endows me with the responsibility to defend furries because I,
Speaker 1: like I said, I am, I am a man who
Speaker 1: dresses up regularly in a in an animal costume. So
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm gonna go on a limb. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: defend this man, and I'm gonna say that I think
Speaker 1: it was I think it's a little fucked up that
Speaker 1: you saw that this guy was having a good time
Speaker 1: with his homies at the at the at the dress
Speaker 1: up like a wolf and fuck each other party. Sounds
Speaker 1: like either having a good time and you're out you're
Speaker 1: out here trying to tell Also, you're like telling your
Speaker 1: other coworkers like it's a secret. It's on his fucking
Speaker 1: phone anyway, all right, I cannot hold this news in
Speaker 1: any longer, and I go to tell my other coworkers
Speaker 1: and find out in fact that I am the outlier
Speaker 1: the whole time. Fifty percent, not exaggerating of the staff
Speaker 1: was in the furry community, and thirty percent she wrote
Speaker 1: this in all caps participated in sexual activities with one another.
Speaker 1: Sounds awesome. I nearly quit, but a last I stayed
Speaker 1: employed at the best Buy. You know what, I fucking dude,
Speaker 1: fuck the person who wrote this email. Okay, you okay,
Speaker 1: this guy. These people they work at best Buy all day,
Speaker 1: like most of their life is just getting screamed at
Speaker 1: by the insane people who are still shopping. I get
Speaker 1: the only people who are still going in person to
Speaker 1: buy stuff at best Buy are like old insane people.
Speaker 1: And these motherfuckers, Okay, they're working retail at the best Buy.
Speaker 1: They're getting yelled at every day. Their lives are are sucking.
Speaker 1: And you know what, the you know, the one thing
Speaker 1: that makes them happy, Marcella. You know the one thing
Speaker 1: that makes them happy is wearing a horse costume and
Speaker 1: getting fucked in the ass. And I think that's awesome.
Speaker 1: I think that's beautiful. I'll let them have it, Marcella.
Speaker 1: What are you doing here? Why? Why is this such
Speaker 1: a big deal? All right? Hold on, I nearly quit. Last,
Speaker 1: I stayed employed at the best Buy. A furry scuffle
Speaker 1: broke out in the warehouse one day when one of
Speaker 1: the alpha furres okay, now you're getting sucked into it too.
Speaker 1: When one of the alpha furres, who was in a
Speaker 1: thrupple with a guy and a girl also working at
Speaker 1: best Buy had found out that, in fact, he was
Speaker 1: just getting cheated on the whole time, he ran out
Speaker 1: of the store, into the parking lot and moved to Texas.
Speaker 1: In three days, they had to pull employees from other
Speaker 1: stores because almost half of our staff went out of
Speaker 1: town all caps for the Furry Convention. I I okay,
Speaker 1: hold on, hold on, holo, I have a new thing.
Speaker 1: By the way, hold on. I sorry. I drank a
Speaker 1: lot of coffee before I started recording this. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: calm down for a second. I want to apologize, okay,
Speaker 1: the person who wrote this email, Marcella. I want to
Speaker 1: apologize to Marcella. I want to apologize to Marcella. I said,
Speaker 1: I said fuck them, I said some choice things about them.
Speaker 1: I want to apologize because as I'm getting deeper into
Speaker 1: this email, I'm coming up with a new theory. I'm
Speaker 1: coming up with a new theory, and the theory that
Speaker 1: I'm coming up with is making me sad. My theory
Speaker 1: is that the person who wrote this email is secretly,
Speaker 1: unconsciously really upset that she was not invited to go
Speaker 1: to the Furry Convention. I genuinely believe that because look,
Speaker 1: this person. They also they worked at best Buy and
Speaker 1: they worked at Verizon, and they I don't know if
Speaker 1: they have a lot of friends. I don't know if
Speaker 1: they're up. So I just I just like, I think
Speaker 1: they're seeing their coworkers having so much fun having sex
Speaker 1: with each other in dog costumes, and they kind of
Speaker 1: wish that they had something like that, and they don't,
Speaker 1: and so they are just upset and they're they're taking
Speaker 1: it out in this email. And so Marcella, listen, I
Speaker 1: just want you to know, like you can look, find
Speaker 1: your own version of a free convention. Go do Go.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know who you are. I
Speaker 1: don't know anything about you, but uh, I don't know.
Speaker 1: Go find something to do instead of getting pissed off
Speaker 1: at other people. All right, Okay? Then then she wrote
Speaker 1: that's all I have to share. Do not go into
Speaker 1: best Buy. I'm not kidding. It is a cult. Do
Speaker 1: not get sucked in. Oh I'm going to best Buy
Speaker 1: and I'm getting sucked in. Baby, if you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. All right, that was gross, Let's keep going. Uh,
Speaker 1: all right? This is from Shay random fat. They wrote,
Speaker 1: don't read my email on stream. I kind of want
Speaker 1: to read it. And why would you send me an
Speaker 1: email and tell me not to read it on stream?
Speaker 1: Why would you send me I kind of want to
Speaker 1: read this on stream, just despite this person. Why would
Speaker 1: they send me an email to not read it on stream?
Speaker 1: All right? Anyway? Sorry, I don't know why. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I think when I think, when I drink too much coffee,
Speaker 1: I just go off the rails so little too much?
Speaker 1: All right. This is from an Oscar subject line I'm
Speaker 1: obsessed with my ex. Hello, mister lyle Chan, my name
Speaker 1: is Oscar. I've texted my ex again after six months
Speaker 1: of getting over her lately missing her quite often, and
Speaker 1: decided to come up with a master plan to make
Speaker 1: us fall in love again. Okay, all right, okay, even
Speaker 1: though she's talking and falling in love with someone else.
Speaker 1: Oh okay, all right. Ah, Jesus christis is gonna make
Speaker 1: me really sad. I had to talk with her about
Speaker 1: us getting together again, reminding her how we promised each
Speaker 1: other that in the end when we're older, we will
Speaker 1: get back together. When we broke it off back then,
Speaker 1: those months ago, she agreed how we can get together
Speaker 1: only if things don't work out with them together. She agreed, Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: I'm trying to this person has a little some grammatical
Speaker 1: errors in this email, but I'm gonna try to interpret
Speaker 1: them and translate it. She agreed that we can get
Speaker 1: back together only if things don't work out with her
Speaker 1: and the guy that she's talking to. Now for me
Speaker 1: to decide and rather be alone and work on myself,
Speaker 1: dying waiting for her, missing every moment, clinging to her,
Speaker 1: still patiently waiting for her to be complete with this guy. Also,
Speaker 1: we agreed to have sex too, while they are trying
Speaker 1: to get together and still in the talking stage, pose
Speaker 1: planning to make the sex to benefit to make her
Speaker 1: love me and gain feelings back. Okay, this person called
Speaker 1: me is this person is this person Japanese? Because if oh, well,
Speaker 1: okay ask her. Okay, I'm just trying to figure out
Speaker 1: if English is this person's first language or nots because
Speaker 1: they called me lyle chan uh okay okay, no, by
Speaker 1: the way, hold on by, I just I just hold on.
Speaker 1: I just want to Okay, I was making I was
Speaker 1: not making fun of but I was. I was. I
Speaker 1: think I made a rude comment about this person's grammatical errors.
Speaker 1: Did not realize that they were not a native English speaker.
Speaker 1: I apologize for that. Okay. If you're not a native
Speaker 1: English speaker, please keep emailing me. I promise I will
Speaker 1: not make funny your English. I genuinely apologize about that. Okay.
Speaker 1: Planning to make the sex to benefit her, love me
Speaker 1: and gain feelings back, plus more on that of other
Speaker 1: ideas about not just about it being sex. Anyways, I
Speaker 1: have a massive plan written out on my iPhone notes
Speaker 1: on how to get her back and sabotage him. Is
Speaker 1: this a pure obsession of boredom or some super evil
Speaker 1: mastermind plan? Okay, holy shit, Oscar, uh ah, Jesus christ Man,
Speaker 1: this is this. This is a phone call, Oscar. This
Speaker 1: is this is an Oscar. Oscar, Let's talk on the phone.
Speaker 1: I will. I will talk on the phone with you, Oscar.
Speaker 1: I will. I don't I don't know where you're originally from,
Speaker 1: but I will front the money, uh for the long
Speaker 1: distance call for this so that we can talk. So
Speaker 1: I I don't know. Send me another email with your
Speaker 1: phone number and we can we got to talk about
Speaker 1: this because you need I don't. By the way, hold on,
Speaker 1: it shouldn't be me, it should be a therapist. But
Speaker 1: you need to be talked off the ledge, I think,
Speaker 1: because this is this is insane. I like, I'm also
Speaker 1: kind of curious because like if you also, I'm like
Speaker 1: very curious how old you are, because if you're like nineteen,
Speaker 1: I kind of I understand this email a little bit more.
Speaker 1: But if you're like thirty seven, would you or you
Speaker 1: or if you're like thirty seven, you might be I don't,
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't know, Oscar, I don't know. I'm
Speaker 1: I'm god, I'm on so much coffee right now. I'm
Speaker 1: do you have other people in your life who you've
Speaker 1: talked to about this? Because you need to be talked
Speaker 1: off the ledge like a pronto, because this is this
Speaker 1: is wild. If if this is true, Yeah, this is wild.
Speaker 1: If this is true, you gotta yeah, you you you don't.
Speaker 1: You don't want to be like I don't know, this
Speaker 1: is yeah, this is kind of wild, Oscar. You don't
Speaker 1: want to be doing any of this. This is gonna
Speaker 1: kill you, Oscar. I don't. Yeah, send me, send me,
Speaker 1: send me your phone number, and we can well, I
Speaker 1: want to this is a phone call. This is I can't.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I I don't think I can respond today.
Speaker 1: This is because here's the thing. I could sit here
Speaker 1: and I could respond to this email. But I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna say the same things that everyone's already thinking. But
Speaker 1: like I need, I gotta know what's going on in
Speaker 1: your life with this one. Oh, okay, you sent me
Speaker 1: your Okay, all right, Oscar sent all right, Oscar sent
Speaker 1: me their phone numbers. Should I call hold on? Should
Speaker 1: I call this person? Okay, I'm gonna call this person,
Speaker 1: but just okay, I'm gonna call this person. But just
Speaker 1: so that everyone knows, I just want to let everyone know, Uh,
Speaker 1: this is like a this is a rare thing. So
Speaker 1: don't if you're if you send an email into this show,
Speaker 1: don't include your phone number because I don't. I don't.
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna normally do this. I just just in
Speaker 1: this this someone in the chat just wrote this sets
Speaker 1: a standard going forward, and I just want everyone to
Speaker 1: know that it apps absolutely does not. I just personally,
Speaker 1: in this moment, really want to talk to this guy.
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna call him, but normally I would normally normally,
Speaker 1: I I do this email segment because I don't feel
Speaker 1: like because I want to take a break from phone
Speaker 1: calls and I want to just like kinda read the emails,
Speaker 1: but just for some for just right now. So the
Speaker 1: oscars email kind of spoke to me, and I want
Speaker 1: to talk to him. So I'm gonna try to call him.
Speaker 1: All right, let's see if he answers. Give me one sec. Hello, yo, Oscar,
Speaker 1: what's up? How you doing it?
Speaker 3: Fine?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 3: Taking the day? About time?
Speaker 1: Okay, all right, I'm now okay. I feel less bad
Speaker 1: about making fun of the grammatical errors in your Yeah.
Speaker 4: No, it's okay, okay, okay, no, it's okay, okay, Well
Speaker 4: all right, so Oscar, look look I read your email.
Speaker 1: Everyone heard your email, like what is this? How true?
Speaker 1: Is this?
Speaker 3: Yeah? Very true? Actually? Okay, well yeah no, this, uh,
Speaker 3: this message just happened, like well, me texting her and everything.
Speaker 3: My god, no, I texted her like maybe like like
Speaker 3: maybe like four days ago, already has five days ago,
Speaker 3: and it's just been you know, I just haven't had
Speaker 3: any you know, it's been stressful, you know, all that
Speaker 3: with finals. I guess I've just got me, you know,
Speaker 3: I guess too. I don't know, I would say, just
Speaker 3: I just really texted and just like at that moment,
Speaker 3: I just I was like, fuck, I missed it and
Speaker 3: all that, but like, you know, it was just yeah,
Speaker 3: I don't know. It's like, yeah, I'm just I'm just saying.
Speaker 1: How how how how? How how old are you? Oscar?
Speaker 3: Nineteen?
Speaker 1: You're nineteen? Okay, I guessed it correctly, you were on nineteen. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 1: all right, I'm significantly less freaked out by this email
Speaker 1: now that I know that you're nineteen.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I know when you're saying thirty, I was like, okay,
Speaker 3: I don't know about all that, but you know.
Speaker 1: But yeah, okay, no, okay, I'm significantly less freaked out
Speaker 1: by this email. Yeah, okay, Oscar. Uh, I mean listen, man,
Speaker 1: do you do you do you want? Do you understand?
Speaker 1: I guess what's like kind of crazy about this email?
Speaker 3: Uh? Like how elaborate the plant is? I guess you know, yeah,
Speaker 3: like I've been always thinking it too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, having like an elaborate plan to sabotage
Speaker 1: your ex's relationship.
Speaker 3: Honestly Honestly, I wasn't too really not serious about that,
Speaker 3: but like it's like somewhat like I don't know because
Speaker 3: like this is like, yeah, I don't know if that's
Speaker 3: good or not, because I am self aware about that
Speaker 3: those sep of things, and I think like damn, like
Speaker 3: because usually at this point or like I'm just thinking
Speaker 3: like okay, Oscar, you need to slow down because there
Speaker 3: is no way you're going to be doing all that
Speaker 3: because like literally could be something like so like messed
Speaker 3: up and you're like what and it just freaks me out.
Speaker 3: It freaks myself out, and honestly, okay, yeah, well.
Speaker 1: I look, you know, okay, I'm okay, you know what.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm glad that we talked. This is the first
Speaker 1: time and maybe the maybe the very last time I
Speaker 1: ever do this in a GAK mail. I just for
Speaker 1: some reason your email spoke to me. I wanted to
Speaker 1: call you to make sure you weren't like you see
Speaker 1: you seem like you are still in touch with the earth,
Speaker 1: which is good.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess.
Speaker 1: Okay, why don't you what are you in school to do?
Speaker 1: Why don't you like I don't know, man, what in
Speaker 1: school to do?
Speaker 3: I am really into psychology, like it is the only
Speaker 3: no I know, it's not well yeah, like the obvious there,
Speaker 3: yeah yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1: Hello, I'm here, I'm here. Okay, well okay, look I
Speaker 1: don't I don't. Maybe I think I think I've I
Speaker 1: think I've made this into two big of a whole thing.
Speaker 1: But uh, Oscar, why don't you leave? When you leave?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 1: When do you when you go? Do? Like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: It's just it's just like like writing writing in your
Speaker 1: notes app about how you master plan to sabotage your
Speaker 1: ex's new relationship is a truly horrible use of time. Uh.
Speaker 3: I think honestly, I've been kind of bored, so you know,
Speaker 3: and this this, this callback, this come to me now
Speaker 3: about how we're gonna get together and all that, you know,
Speaker 3: it just it just made me feel like, you know,
Speaker 3: like I fell out of Like I felt really numb afterwards.
Speaker 3: So like I just thought, like, you know, like why,
Speaker 3: like you know, I can never have that feeling back,
Speaker 3: So like I'm just thinking it can only be heard.
Speaker 1: What do you mean you can what do you mean
Speaker 1: you can never have that feeling back?
Speaker 3: I don't know, It's just like, well, she's like really,
Speaker 3: you know, she's like really different, like she's like special.
Speaker 3: She's like like how what she went through and everything
Speaker 3: like that. You know, it's like it's it really like
Speaker 3: traumatized me to a point where like I, you know,
Speaker 3: like I want her to be my momly love and
Speaker 3: I can like really see your future and I have
Speaker 3: like planned out already.
Speaker 1: Okay, uh uh Oscar, can I can? I can? I
Speaker 1: give you a little bit of hope and then and
Speaker 1: then I'm gonna hang up on you and continue reading emails.
Speaker 1: Is that cool? Of course? Of course, of course.
Speaker 3: I don't want to hold up the.
Speaker 1: No no, no, no, You're you're all good, Oscar. I just
Speaker 1: I just want you to know something.
Speaker 3: I remember.
Speaker 1: Okay, you're you're only nineteen years old, Oscar, and I
Speaker 1: assume holds this girl. We will how old is this girl? Also? Nineteen?
Speaker 3: She's my age?
Speaker 1: Okay, I just ask, Oscar. You will meet so many
Speaker 1: more people. Now, I'm not even gonna say women. I'm
Speaker 1: people you meet. You will meet so many more people
Speaker 1: and do so many more things with your life that
Speaker 1: you won't even you can't even you literally can't even
Speaker 1: imagine the scope of what your life could be like
Speaker 1: in the future. So I I I guess I would
Speaker 1: just encourage you to be thinking about the abundant possibilities.
Speaker 1: I'm like eight years older than you, and I'm I'm
Speaker 1: still I'm over here like trying to remember that life
Speaker 1: has abundant, infinite possibilities, you know what I mean. So
Speaker 1: I just you know, I hope, dear Christ, that you
Speaker 1: stop having such a scarcity mindset about your life and
Speaker 1: realize that the world is abundantly full of life, experience
Speaker 1: and and cool people for you to meet. Okay, I
Speaker 1: just I hope, I I hope, I hope you recognize that. Now.
Speaker 1: I'm I I wish you well, Oscar. I'm gonna get
Speaker 1: back to I feel disgusted that I just gave you
Speaker 1: a motivational speech. I'm trying to lay off the motivational speeches,
Speaker 1: but I wish I wish you good luck, Oscar.
Speaker 3: God, okay you all right? No, yeah, I know if
Speaker 3: I exaggerating, but no, yeah, thank you?
Speaker 1: All right, take care, Oscar, Bye bye bye. Oscar's an
Speaker 1: Oscar's a good guy. He has he He's definitely not
Speaker 1: an English major, but he's a good guy. All right,
Speaker 1: Let's keep reading emails. All right, I mean, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: read the chat. Does the chat have anything to say? Uh?
Speaker 1: Gek trying to not give advice slash motivational speeches equals
Speaker 1: mission impossible. That was a great speech. Don't hate it,
Speaker 1: I know, I just hate speech. I hate like I
Speaker 1: would like. I think if anyone ever took what I
Speaker 1: just said and like put like black and white video
Speaker 1: of a guy running and then like sad music underneath it,
Speaker 1: I I think I would commit suppuku. What's that? What
Speaker 1: is it called suppuku? Am I saying that? Right? Soupucu? Yeah? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's what I would do if someone did that. All right?
Speaker 1: Someone said, uh, okay, what someone said? What draws the
Speaker 1: line between a speech and just talking? That was a speech?
Speaker 1: Someone said sudoku. No, I'm not trying to say sudoku. Okay, anyway,
Speaker 1: let's keep going. Let's keep doing it. I'm never doing
Speaker 1: that again. By the way, I not there's another thing
Speaker 1: to do with Oscar, but I'm never doing that again.
Speaker 1: So don't include your phone number in these emails. Okay,
Speaker 1: Let's keep going. Um who I like this? All right?
Speaker 1: This is from Joni, subject line, I got chased by
Speaker 1: a bear. Hey gek. I got chased by a black
Speaker 1: bear in the summer, and now every time I walk
Speaker 1: the route where I was chased, I relive each terrifying
Speaker 1: step I took as I ran away. I live in
Speaker 1: constant fear while walking slash running that a black bear
Speaker 1: will jump out of the bush and eat me. I
Speaker 1: got lucky that my sister heard me screaming bloody murder.
Speaker 1: Otherwise the bear probably would have mauled me. I may
Speaker 1: or may not have pissed my pants in fear. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I would still choose a bear over a man any day.
Speaker 1: You should. I have a movie that you should watch, Joni.
Speaker 1: You should. Have you ever seen The Revenant? Have you
Speaker 1: ever seen The Revenant?
Speaker 2: Go?
Speaker 1: Watch the rev Go? I mean, actually, you know, I
Speaker 1: don't even watch The Revenant, but like, you don't have
Speaker 1: to watch The Revenant. Just call on YouTube and search
Speaker 1: Revenant bear attack scene. It's just a It's Leonardo DiCaprio
Speaker 1: screaming and crying for like five minutes while he gets
Speaker 1: mauled by a bear. I got it. I was watching
Speaker 1: that on YouTube with my friend and I got into
Speaker 1: an argument with him because I I have this theory
Speaker 1: now it's not a theory, but it's just an argument
Speaker 1: and it's like a half serious argument. But I think
Speaker 1: acting is really really easy. I think that, Like I
Speaker 1: think becoming an actor extremely hard. Like I think because
Speaker 1: like be like Leo, Okay, all right, I'm gonna like
Speaker 1: really start some shit right now, because like getting to
Speaker 1: the point leone Leonardo DiCaprio is at like in his
Speaker 1: career extremely difficult. Becoming an actor one of the hardest
Speaker 1: things you could do. But like actually like doing the
Speaker 1: acting extremely easy, at least for like film and TV.
Speaker 1: I think for like like if like being like a
Speaker 1: theater actress or actor is difficult, but like I kind
Speaker 1: of I was kind of watching that scene of Leonardo
Speaker 1: DiCaprio getting mauled by a bear and The Revenant, and
Speaker 1: I was the whole time, I was kind of thinking,
Speaker 1: I think I could do this. We got an argument
Speaker 1: and he was like, no, you couldn't. You like he's
Speaker 1: a well trained actor, and it's like, I really think
Speaker 1: I could. Then we put on Lincoln and uh he
Speaker 1: we like would watch Lincoln like all like a scene
Speaker 1: from YouTube, and I would like try to reenact it.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I kind of think I could do Lincoln.
Speaker 1: I kind of not. I mean, yeah, I kind of
Speaker 1: think I could be a better actor than Daniel da Lewis. Like,
Speaker 1: I think I can do it. I don't like, I
Speaker 1: just and whatever. I'm willing to be proven wrong, but like,
Speaker 1: I think it's really easy. And you should watch The
Speaker 1: Revenant and maybe if I get the budget, I'll remake
Speaker 1: The Revenant with me, just to prove that I also
Speaker 1: could do that. All right, just keep going, Okay, what's
Speaker 1: the chat? I have to say? The chat says it
Speaker 1: looks easier than it is. I did acting for a year.
Speaker 1: You were, I don't know, you were probably bad at it.
Speaker 3: Oh.
Speaker 1: This is from the person who wrote the email. After
Speaker 1: I got chased, I had dreams about being held at
Speaker 1: gunpoint by the bear. That sounds way more scary if
Speaker 1: you find it, because I feel like most bears in
Speaker 1: most bears in popular culture are I think, depicted as friendly.
Speaker 1: But if the bear was like and also it's more,
Speaker 1: it's worse because I usually, if a bear is chasing you,
Speaker 1: wants to eat you, and it's like unconsciously malicious, But
Speaker 1: a bear pointing a gun at you is very consciously malicious.
Speaker 1: All Right, This is from be subject line fumbly to
Speaker 1: fumble ur hey gek. I'm in a predicament. I'm usually
Speaker 1: being chronically fumbled, but recently I believe I have become
Speaker 1: the fumbler, and I think I have made a grave mistake. Okay,
Speaker 1: when you say I've been being chronically fumbled, that means
Speaker 1: like guys are trying to like court you and failing.
Speaker 1: Is that what that means? I'm still friends with the
Speaker 1: boy I fumbled, and I fear I may now have
Speaker 1: feelings for him. I told him after three dates we
Speaker 1: shouldn't pursue a relationship, but I found myself missing him.
Speaker 1: I think I've made a mistake. I told him that
Speaker 1: right now I would like to get to know each
Speaker 1: other as friends. I think I was overwhelmed and scared,
Speaker 1: turning into the very person I despise. I don't know
Speaker 1: what my next move should be. We are trying to
Speaker 1: hang out again sometimes sometime soon. Thank you for your time,
Speaker 1: lyle uh oh god, I don't really know. I mean,
Speaker 1: I guess hang out with the guy again, and if
Speaker 1: you like him, then keep hanging out with him. Should I?
Speaker 1: I don't know. If I don't think I have anything
Speaker 1: more to say than that, I think if you like
Speaker 1: this guy, then keep hanging out with him. That's it.
Speaker 1: That's all I have to say about this email. Let's
Speaker 1: keep going, all right? This from Stacy, subject line I
Speaker 1: want a lot of boyfriends, and then in all caps,
Speaker 1: they wrote plzzzzz, hey GEK. I need to stay as
Speaker 1: anonymous as possible, so you can call me whatever comes
Speaker 1: to mind. I'm twenty four female. I'm emailing you to
Speaker 1: admit a deep desire slash fantasy that I have. I
Speaker 1: want to have like three boyfriends, but not like three
Speaker 1: separate relationships with them. I want all of us to
Speaker 1: mutually be in love and share it within each other
Speaker 1: and cuddle together like a bunch of kittens and do
Speaker 1: group activities and travel places and stick together. Yeah it
Speaker 1: sounds great that I know. I know. Listen, here's the thing.
Speaker 1: Plenty of people have used their first and last names
Speaker 1: to admit much more embarrassing desires. I think wanting three
Speaker 1: because everyone, I think not everyone, but like you know,
Speaker 1: I think love is a commonly desired thing, So who
Speaker 1: the fuck wouldn't want to have three boyfriends. The ideal
Speaker 1: setup would be just me and three other men that
Speaker 1: are a bit submissive and need me to care for
Speaker 1: them in way. Okay, you want like three, you want
Speaker 1: like pets, you want you want to be like a
Speaker 1: cat lady, but you can fuck the cats. Is kind
Speaker 1: of what I'm getting from this. I know I'll probably
Speaker 1: never get this in my real life, but I think
Speaker 1: about it a lot. I had a dream a night
Speaker 1: ago where I was walking walking up to a beautiful
Speaker 1: house after work and realized it was my house. When
Speaker 1: I walked in, there was three guys waiting for me,
Speaker 1: and we shared a group hug and all cuddled on
Speaker 1: the couch and watched a show and it was just perfection.
Speaker 1: Let me know if you have any thoughts, comments, or concerns.
Speaker 1: I need to know if I'm weird or something for
Speaker 1: having these desires. Love you gek No, I don't, By
Speaker 1: the way, I just want you to know, Like, listen,
Speaker 1: here's the thing. I forget what fake name I gave you, Stacy.
Speaker 1: Here's the thing's Stacy. If I just I really genuinely,
Speaker 1: I don't know you, and I don't know who you
Speaker 1: are and what steps maybe you've taken to fulfill this fantasy.
Speaker 1: But I kin't the thing what you're describing sounds doable.
Speaker 1: You want a polyocule. You want to create a pollocule
Speaker 1: where you have three men who are financially dependent upon you.
Speaker 1: It sounds and need you to like feed them and
Speaker 1: take care of them. You could easily find this. You
Speaker 1: could easily find this. I don't. I don't know what
Speaker 1: kind of uh you know, money you're pulling in right now, right,
Speaker 1: I don't know if.
Speaker 2: You have.
Speaker 1: You want like three like sugar boyfriend, people who like
Speaker 1: you know, I guess are are metaphorically sucking on your
Speaker 1: teats and.
Speaker 2: Uh uh.
Speaker 1: You know the reliant upon you? You want three pets that
Speaker 1: are men. You can find that. Yeah, I'm sure you
Speaker 1: have a in today's economy. Again, I don't, I don't
Speaker 1: know what you're pulling in. But in today's economy, this
Speaker 1: is what you've described from the opposite point, like from
Speaker 1: a guy's perspective, is not a whole. It's not a
Speaker 1: tough sell. I think you could do it, you know.
Speaker 1: I just that's all I want you to know, is
Speaker 1: uh if if I'm the first person to tell you
Speaker 1: that this isn't that Not only is this not crazy,
Speaker 1: I actually think it's achievable, and I hope you find
Speaker 1: it because I think I think this sounds like a
Speaker 1: you know, this is a Craigslist dad that that can
Speaker 1: easily be achieved for you. I think someone in the
Speaker 1: chat said, I don't think the economy should play into this.
Speaker 1: The economy absolutely plays into this. This is this is
Speaker 1: a this is a woman who wants like three live
Speaker 1: in boyfriends who she takes care of. And you know,
Speaker 1: look in this economy, that's that's that's expensive. In this economy,
Speaker 1: that's expensive. Uh. Yeah. A bunch of people, just a
Speaker 1: bunch of people in this in the twitch chat are
Speaker 1: saying that this is normal. Well not that it's normal,
Speaker 1: but it's you know, that is doable anyway. Oh, this
Speaker 1: one I want to read. Okay, all right, this is
Speaker 1: from m K subject line, pig jizz is my job,
Speaker 1: Dear therapy Gecko. I never thought I'd grow up to
Speaker 1: be the person who intercepts pig penises for a living,
Speaker 1: But here we are. My job collecting pig jizz. Why
Speaker 1: because someone has to ensure the future generation of pigs
Speaker 1: is brought into this world via the magic of artificial insemination.
Speaker 1: It's like match dot Com for pigs, except I'm the
Speaker 1: unlucky third wheel picture this. I love the way this
Speaker 1: By the way, I just I know I so. I
Speaker 1: know a lot of the times I rag on people's
Speaker 1: grammar in emails, But whoever wrote this like, I'm having
Speaker 1: so much fun reading this. The way this person writes
Speaker 1: is beautiful. I just got to give them props for
Speaker 1: that picture this. I work in a setup that looks
Speaker 1: suspiciously like the pit at an oil change place, except
Speaker 1: instead of cars, I'm dealing with six hundred to one
Speaker 1: thousand pound bores. Jesus, these behemoths have to mount a
Speaker 1: device we lovingly refer to as the dummy, and as
Speaker 1: soon as they're ready for action, I swoop in. Now
Speaker 1: here's where it gets wild. These bores sometimes sport equipment
Speaker 1: that would make a garden hose jealous. We're talking up
Speaker 1: to two feet long. My job is to gently guide
Speaker 1: said horse said pigcock They didn't write pigcock, but into
Speaker 1: a collection up and then let nature take its course.
Speaker 1: Once the deed is done, I analyze the sample under
Speaker 1: a microscope to check for fertility rates, because even in
Speaker 1: the pig world, quality control is important. You're messing with
Speaker 1: hog hoog. Thankfully, this only takes up about two hours
Speaker 1: of my day. Okay, oh you said, Okay, the rest
Speaker 1: of the time I get to do more traditional farm work. Okay,
Speaker 1: I thought this person four hour worked weeked themselves with pigges.
Speaker 1: I thought this person was doing they I thought they
Speaker 1: were like New Rich you know, I'm taking my time
Speaker 1: back and just you know, I'm starting a piggez business
Speaker 1: that starts two hours a day. I thought they were
Speaker 1: doing that kind of vibe. But the rest of the time,
Speaker 1: I get to do more traditional farm work like fixing equipment,
Speaker 1: feeding animals, and questioning my life choices. Yeah, I'm sure.
Speaker 1: I'm sure you have a lot of time to do that.
Speaker 1: I thought this might bring a smile to your face
Speaker 1: or at least make you reconsider any career moves involving livestock.
Speaker 1: If this story makes it onto the podcast, I hope
Speaker 1: it provides your listeners with a mix of laughter, awe,
Speaker 1: and a touch of secondhand discomfort. That's the end of
Speaker 1: the email. I've never I this is one of my
Speaker 1: favorite people I think I've interacted with doing this show.
Speaker 1: Even though we didn't talk on the phone, and even
Speaker 1: though they didn't even give me their name, I just
Speaker 1: I love the way this person writes. I love the
Speaker 1: pride they take in their job and the poetry they
Speaker 1: use to describe it. There's a beauty. Whoever, I don't
Speaker 1: know who wrote this email, but whoever. And then and
Speaker 1: then at the end they're like, I really hope my
Speaker 1: Pigges story gave you a mix of laughter, awe, and
Speaker 1: a touch of secondhand discomfort. This is a beautiful person
Speaker 1: who wrote this email. You know what, There's an Abraham
Speaker 1: Lincoln quote. Ah, this is Oh, this is a good
Speaker 1: chance for me to prove that I'm a better actor
Speaker 1: than Daniel d Lewis. There's an Abraham Lincoln quote. It
Speaker 1: goes like this, whatever you are, be a good one. Ah,
Speaker 1: that was bad one, Charlie. Whatever you are, be a
Speaker 1: good one. He had like a he had a kind
Speaker 1: of a crappy voice. All right, whatever, fuck Daniel Lewis.
Speaker 1: All right, whatever you are being good on This person
Speaker 1: is a great Pigges Pigjacker offer. They take pride in it,
Speaker 1: they describe it with such passion and beauty, and they
Speaker 1: make me, they make me feel joyful for the future
Speaker 1: of our country. All right, let's see here. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: all right. This is kind of a longer email than
Speaker 1: I would usually like to read, but the subject line
Speaker 1: is just calling me, so I'm gonna read it anyway,
Speaker 1: and we're gonna read. I'm gonna try, right, I'm gonna
Speaker 1: try to read the I'm gonna take us through this
Speaker 1: entire email. Again. This is longer. Usually I try not
Speaker 1: to read ones that are longer than two barographs, but
Speaker 1: this one is I'm feeling good about reading the whole thing. Okay, uh,
Speaker 1: this is from Reggie. Subject line someone I met on
Speaker 1: Xbox stole my girlfriend of four years, hey gek. In
Speaker 1: the early COVID days, I reconnected with one of my
Speaker 1: best childhood friends over Xbox and we just chat and
Speaker 1: play games from time to time. I now live on
Speaker 1: the opposite end of the world from where I grew up,
Speaker 1: so it was really nice to reconnect with an old
Speaker 1: friend like that. At some stage, one of his friends
Speaker 1: from university started joining us in our Xbox parties, and
Speaker 1: it was great. The three of us got on really well,
Speaker 1: and we're hanging out on Xbox together fairly frequently. This
Speaker 1: continued for probably the better part of two years, and
Speaker 1: it often be times we're be just me and this
Speaker 1: other guy I was introduced to. We became mates. It
Speaker 1: was nice. One day, this guy said he was coming
Speaker 1: on a holiday to the country I live in, and
Speaker 1: because we'd known each other for a few years at
Speaker 1: this point, I said he should fly down to my city.
Speaker 1: I'll take a long weekend off work and he can
Speaker 1: stay in my house. That's exactly what he did, and
Speaker 1: truth be told, it was great. We got along well.
Speaker 1: We had a very busy weekend, doing as much as possible,
Speaker 1: and we even threw a house party at our place.
Speaker 1: The long weekend comes and goes, and he flies back
Speaker 1: to the city he was holidaying in, and then shortly
Speaker 1: after flies back to the other side of the world.
Speaker 1: Maybe two weeks after he'd left, my ex came to
Speaker 1: me visibly upset and saying she didn't think things were
Speaker 1: going to work between us. She then told me that
Speaker 1: she had developed feelings for the guy that came to
Speaker 1: stay with us for four days. Fucking the hell, Oh
Speaker 1: my god, that is brutal Jesus. There were honestly no
Speaker 1: signs of this when he was with us, and except
Speaker 1: for maybe one brief two hour period in the busy
Speaker 1: weekend where I just wanted to watch some TV for
Speaker 1: a bit, and the two of them were downstairs chatting.
Speaker 1: There were a couple of times where I had noticed
Speaker 1: they'd start speaking in very hushed tones. Oh God, but
Speaker 1: I honestly thought nothing of it. I'd later find out
Speaker 1: from mutual friends that apparently this was some sort of
Speaker 1: magical conversation between them. After a week or so of
Speaker 1: back and forth figuring out if the relationship was salvagable,
Speaker 1: we confirmed that the relationship was over. Within three months
Speaker 1: of the relationship ending, I found out from another mutual
Speaker 1: friend that this guy had packed up his entire life
Speaker 1: and moved over to this side of the world to
Speaker 1: live with my ex in her mom's house. This guy
Speaker 1: had never had a girlfriend before, and then he moved
Speaker 1: across the entire world for his first ever girlfriend. He
Speaker 1: never gave me any sort of explanation when I asked
Speaker 1: him for one at the time of the breakup. Blocked
Speaker 1: both me and my childhood friend from all of social media,
Speaker 1: and to this day continues to live my old life
Speaker 1: with my ex, raising the dog that I got her,
Speaker 1: and at times it feels like someone has stolen my
Speaker 1: old skin. Ultimately, it was a blessing in disguise, though
Speaker 1: I'm a lot happier now than I'm out of that
Speaker 1: relationship and can see that her and I weren't meant
Speaker 1: to be together. Love you and see you the next
Speaker 1: time you come to my city. From Reggie. Oscar, are
Speaker 1: you listen, Oscar? Did you hear all of this? Oscar?
Speaker 1: I need to forward this email to Oscar? Because because
Speaker 1: because this guy, Because Oscar just like he broke up
Speaker 1: with his girlfriend and she started seeing someone new. But
Speaker 1: this fucking guy, this fucking guy, Reggie is one of
Speaker 1: these I fucking hear stories from people doing this show
Speaker 1: that just really reinforced to me the idea that so
Speaker 1: much of life is about perspective, and it gives me
Speaker 1: hope in my own life, because, uh, you know, I
Speaker 1: try to fucking be, you know, a smart and have
Speaker 1: good perspective of things, but my judgment, you know, I
Speaker 1: just get. I'm a human. I get we all just
Speaker 1: get clouded, and we all just get frustrated and angry
Speaker 1: and pissed off, and it's sad and depressed. And here's
Speaker 1: this fucking story of a miserably depressing thing happening to
Speaker 1: this guy. It's funny, don't get me wrong. It's very funny,
Speaker 1: but it's miserable. This is sad. You know, it's harsh,
Speaker 1: it's tough, and motherfucker ends the email with it was
Speaker 1: a blessing in disguise, And I'm a lot happier now
Speaker 1: and I realized that we were. It's just I don't know,
Speaker 1: I just I really like this dude's This guy's gonna
Speaker 1: live a good life for the rest of the guy
Speaker 1: who wrote this email, he just had a terrifying bad
Speaker 1: thing happened to him, and he's happier. He's just this
Speaker 1: guy's gonna live a good life no matter what. So Oscar,
Speaker 1: who I talked to earlier, read this guy's fucking email
Speaker 1: or or listen to me say it. I guess I
Speaker 1: don't know, but you know, how do I want to
Speaker 1: hook I want to hook this guy up with Oscar?
Speaker 1: Where's Where's where's this guy at? Where's Oscar? Listen this Oscar?
Speaker 1: You you this guy should be your fucking h I know,
Speaker 1: I know you said you're not Japanese, but this guy
Speaker 1: should be your SEMPI Reggie, he I think, I think,
Speaker 1: I think he has a lot of life advice that
Speaker 1: he could give you all right, Damn, that was quite Uh,
Speaker 1: that was quite a story, someone in the chat says.
Speaker 1: Someone in the chat said, that was a real crash
Speaker 1: out moment. It was right, it was I was. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's like a horror fucking thing. That sounds horrible, and
Speaker 1: this guy's fucking takes it in stride. It's pretty impressive.
Speaker 1: Although it's pretty impressive, although FIFA is never going to
Speaker 1: be the same for him no matter what. All Right,
Speaker 1: this is from Delina. Life advice, don't ever move I
Speaker 1: wonder if the person. I wonder if that guy was
Speaker 1: a higher prestige than he was in call of duty
Speaker 1: and maybe that's why I'm maybe that's why his girl
Speaker 1: was into him. Okay, No, we're on the next email now.
Speaker 1: Life advice, don't ever move in with a possible neuro
Speaker 1: divergent friend together. Okay, I'll entertain this, Hey, Lyle, you
Speaker 1: can call me Dealina. My friend and I moved in
Speaker 1: last year, and it's been a nightmare for me because
Speaker 1: I got to know her better. Once you live together,
Speaker 1: you see the person from a whole different light. I
Speaker 1: figure she is too clinging, and I despair about it.
Speaker 1: It is hard for me to stand my ground and
Speaker 1: form boundaries. I am a people pleaser. She expects me
Speaker 1: to do everything together with her. We work nine to
Speaker 1: five and then go to the gym together, do grocery
Speaker 1: shopping together, cook together, eat together. A month ago, I
Speaker 1: told her that I want more privacy and live more
Speaker 1: on my own without her being constantly around me. She
Speaker 1: then cried and had a breakdown, saying that not doing
Speaker 1: everything all the time together is the equivalent of not
Speaker 1: being friends. She also can't do anything on her own.
Speaker 1: I feel like a caretaker. For example, just because I
Speaker 1: ironed her clothes one day as a sign of appreciation,
Speaker 1: she kept asking me when I'll iron her clothes again.
Speaker 1: Now that she adapts to not being around me all
Speaker 1: the time and being mothered by me all the time,
Speaker 1: she still finds new ways to sneak herself into my
Speaker 1: life by asking what are we doing on the weekend,
Speaker 1: what are we cooking on the weekend, and so on.
Speaker 1: The good thing is I learned about saying no, but
Speaker 1: it's very very hard for me. I fear she might
Speaker 1: be neuro divergent because she has trouble communicating, which makes
Speaker 1: it hard for her to find friends. She can't read
Speaker 1: social caire use. For example, when I was so over
Speaker 1: stimulated by her being around me, I ran into my
Speaker 1: room and cried because my brain was so fried. I
Speaker 1: am an introvert, so being around people drains my energy.
Speaker 1: She then came and knocked on my door to ask
Speaker 1: me when we're cooking dinner together again. I don't know
Speaker 1: if I should talk about it with her and how
Speaker 1: I should tell her that me and other friends think
Speaker 1: she might be on the spectrum. I can imagine it
Speaker 1: could come off as effective. Okay, let's okay. I want
Speaker 1: to hold I want to separate two things here because
Speaker 1: like I just okay, I like look, I want to
Speaker 1: be uh, I want to be I want to be
Speaker 1: fair here. I want to be fair here about something. Look,
Speaker 1: not everyone is neurodiversient. Some people are just are just
Speaker 1: a little clinging and annoying, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I don't, I don't we Look, I don't think it's
Speaker 1: fair to pin this on all neuro divergent people. I
Speaker 1: just thrown that out there. I don't think it's fair
Speaker 1: to to pin this on all neurodivergent people. Okay, just
Speaker 1: throwing that out there. We're gonna put that aside, Okay,
Speaker 1: and then we're just gonna go directly into your specific
Speaker 1: thing happening. First of all, your problem is not whether
Speaker 1: or not to tell this person that you think they're autistic.
Speaker 1: That's not your problem. That's not the issue here. I
Speaker 1: mean that, fuck, dude, I look, yes, this person sounds
Speaker 1: like they're very annoying and have no boundaries. Absolutely, what
Speaker 1: do you do? Fucking I think you gotta leave. I
Speaker 1: think you gotta get out of there. I don't know how, though,
Speaker 1: I mean, do you have like a what's the least
Speaker 1: situation going on here? What's the what's uh, what's the
Speaker 1: least thing? You know? I mean, you just move out
Speaker 1: if you can sublet it. Although it's although, although although
Speaker 1: it's funny. You know what's funny? Is anyone anytime you
Speaker 1: like sublet to deal with roommate issues. It's like it's
Speaker 1: like trying to It's like it's like having cancer and
Speaker 1: the only way to get rid of it is to
Speaker 1: give it to someone else. That's mean, I don't want
Speaker 1: to refer to this person as cancer. That's mean I
Speaker 1: don't want to do that, but I guess I already did.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe this that's the thing I really,
Speaker 1: I'm so optimistic because i'd like to believe that this girl,
Speaker 1: uhh who like is having a hard time like setting boundaries.
Speaker 1: I'd like to believe that there's some like like like
Speaker 1: like I'm thinking of this I'm thinking of this girl
Speaker 1: as like a puzzle piece, and she's like kind of
Speaker 1: a fucked up puzzle piece, and she's just got to
Speaker 1: find another fucked up looking puzzle piece that somehow magically
Speaker 1: perfectly fit it's into all the little curves and edges
Speaker 1: of her fucked up puzzle piece. I'd like to believe
Speaker 1: that the world works that way. I really would so hopefully.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Maybe this person define somebody else to
Speaker 1: live this kind of a life with, who enjoys it,
Speaker 1: who maybe is equally uh, I don't know, I I
Speaker 1: I equally off. Maybe I don't know. I don't know.
Speaker 1: But no, I don't think that you and your other
Speaker 1: friends should tell this person that that they're on the spectrum.
Speaker 1: I don't think that's a good idea. I don't think
Speaker 1: you're particularly you know, I don't think that's a good idea.
Speaker 1: But uh yeah, I mean, I don't know, try to
Speaker 1: get out of there. I don't know. What the least
Speaker 1: situation looks like. But all right, do do uh Okay,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna read one more. I'm gonna read one more
Speaker 1: and then I gotta get out of here. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: read one more. Let's see okay, uh oh okay, this
Speaker 1: part this is from a guy named Steven. And sometimes
Speaker 1: on Gmail you can have a little profile picture, and
Speaker 1: this guy's profile picture is Pablo from The Backyardigans with
Speaker 1: the little hat. It's really cute subject line. I had
Speaker 1: surgery on my penis. Howdy call me Stephen. Recently, there's
Speaker 1: been a trend on the podcast of people talking about
Speaker 1: horrible things happening to their penis. I would like to
Speaker 1: contribute to make half of the audience uncomfortable. You know
Speaker 1: what's funny is I was at a table of people.
Speaker 1: I was like, I was. I was at a table
Speaker 1: of folks and the recently and it was it was me, uh,
Speaker 1: three three guys and one lady, and I was talking
Speaker 1: about like, I was talking about the podcast, and they
Speaker 1: were like, what's one of the craziest things you've heard
Speaker 1: on the podcast? Like that's something people ask me a lot,
Speaker 1: and I don't know. I don't have like a go
Speaker 1: to story when people ask me that. But it was
Speaker 1: just after the most It was like just after I
Speaker 1: recorded the most recent episode, and I told them the
Speaker 1: story about the lady shoving tic TACs into a guy's
Speaker 1: pee hole and crunching on them, and all the men
Speaker 1: to the table like like shrieked, and the one lady
Speaker 1: was like, I'm confused. I don't know why that would hurt.
Speaker 1: But I don't know. I don't know if that's I guess. Okay,
Speaker 1: I would like to contribute to make half the audience uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: I have three older brothers and we all had the
Speaker 1: same biological issue. The whole of the penis was too small,
Speaker 1: so when we peed, it sprayed all over. Think of
Speaker 1: covering a running hose. Think of covering half a running
Speaker 1: hose with your thumb. Okay, that makes sense. All of
Speaker 1: my brothers got a surgery where they increased the size
Speaker 1: of the hole with an incision. This happened when they
Speaker 1: were all young, around two to three, but I got
Speaker 1: the surgery at twelve since I was much more conscious
Speaker 1: about what the procedure entailed. I had horrible dread the
Speaker 1: months leading up to the surgery. That sounds awful. The
Speaker 1: dread was actually much much worse than the procedure, But
Speaker 1: I still have to live with a vivid memory of
Speaker 1: an older doctor rubbing ointment on my penis as uncle
Speaker 1: Grandpa was on the hospital's TV, was on the hospital
Speaker 1: rooms TV. The weeks after were hell and I'll spare
Speaker 1: the details, but now I have an amazing powerful stream.
Speaker 1: And that, folks, was gak mail. That was gak mail.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Do I have anything else to say
Speaker 1: about this? No, I think that email speaks for itself.
Speaker 1: That was gak mail. Folks. Uh, thank you all for
Speaker 1: being here? Anything else? Do I have anything else? Oh?
Speaker 1: I'm doing a fucking I live I'm I believe I'm
Speaker 1: I'm in Tokyo right now, and I'm doing a live
Speaker 1: show here in Tokyo, Japan. I am doing a live
Speaker 1: show here in Tokyo, Japan. I don't have a fucking
Speaker 1: I I. We're switching around the date as I recording
Speaker 1: this right now. I don't have a date, but it'll
Speaker 1: be like the last week of February or some shit
Speaker 1: I want. I want to plug it in this podcast.
Speaker 1: I don't have the full date. Look if you want
Speaker 1: to come, uh and you're hearing this right now, at
Speaker 1: a point where I don't have a date, just send
Speaker 1: an email to therapy geckomail dot com, just being like, Hey,
Speaker 1: I live in Tokyo and I want to come to
Speaker 1: the show, and whenever I have the I'll just hand
Speaker 1: email you the link to the ticket link to the show.
Speaker 1: So whatever, if you live in Tokyo right now and
Speaker 1: you want to come to my GETO show, then I'll
Speaker 1: just you just send an email that you want to
Speaker 1: come to Therapy Gecko mail at gmail dot com, and
Speaker 1: I'll just whenever I have the link, I'll send you
Speaker 1: the fucking thing. Also, if you want me to read
Speaker 1: your email as part if you if you know, aside
Speaker 1: from everything I just said, if you want me to
Speaker 1: read your email on the next get mail, send me
Speaker 1: an email therapy Gecko mail at gmail dot com. And
Speaker 1: also I do this kind of like randomly and sporadically,
Speaker 1: so sometimes you know, you can send me an email
Speaker 1: and I'll record like three episodes and then I'll go
Speaker 1: back and read like two month old emails that I
Speaker 1: haven't read. So go ahead and send any emails that
Speaker 1: you want me to read to therapy get go Mail
Speaker 1: at gmail dot com. Thank you all for listening to
Speaker 1: my podcast. Thank you all for everything that the thing
Speaker 1: is tech, thank you all for all things and uh
Speaker 1: yeah I don't know, do I yeah? Okay, well this
Speaker 1: is the end of the podcast. So you know, nothing
Speaker 1: I say has to be good because I already we
Speaker 1: already did a whole podcast. This is just a bonus.
Speaker 1: This is nothing, all right. Well oh yes, oh I
Speaker 1: forgot about that. Oh yeah, we're oh yeah, just we
Speaker 1: were one. We're the six percent. We're the six percent
Speaker 1: of people that are still alive. If you're listening to this,
Speaker 1: congratulations on being one of the six percent of people
Speaker 1: that are alive. And uh, you know, enjoy it, do
Speaker 1: something with it. I guess, all right, thank you, Bye bye.
Speaker 3: Ne. Rep Ken goes on the line taking your phone
Speaker 3: calls every night.
Speaker 1: The repin Can goes to on his eye, just teaching
Speaker 1: you how to live your life. But he's not really
Speaker 1: an expert.