WEBVTT - #63 Jasmin 0:00:15.210 --> 0:00:28.970 Pushkin Stevie Lane, Hello, Jonathan, I thought your generation doesn't 0:00:28.970 --> 0:00:30.850 abide by telephone calls. 0:00:30.650 --> 0:00:32.330 When my name popped up. Did you think this is 0:00:32.370 --> 0:00:33.130 an emergency? 0:00:33.610 --> 0:00:34.650 Is it an emergency? 0:00:34.890 --> 0:00:38.010 It is sort of an emergency. It's a story emergency. 0:00:39.730 --> 0:00:44.210 Oh that is an emergency. Yeah, okay, you need my help. 0:00:44.530 --> 0:00:46.889 No, I actually I don't need your help. I have 0:00:46.930 --> 0:00:48.569 a story for you today. 0:00:48.690 --> 0:00:50.609 So you need my help listening to it? Well, why 0:00:50.650 --> 0:00:53.129 don't you just ask me to listen to your story? 0:00:53.450 --> 0:00:56.370 Will you please listen to my story? 0:00:57.250 --> 0:01:01.930 I'm gonna say no, what Yes, of course, you're gonna 0:01:01.930 --> 0:01:02.770 press the play button. 0:01:02.850 --> 0:01:03.970 I'm gonna start it right now. 0:01:04.250 --> 0:01:05.090 Okay, there you go. 0:01:05.209 --> 0:01:16.250 Boom from Pushkin Industries. I'm Stevie Lane and this is 0:01:16.330 --> 0:01:36.730 Heavyweight Today's episode Jasmine right after the break. There are 0:01:36.770 --> 0:01:40.650 moments in life that unfold like a movie, moments we 0:01:40.730 --> 0:01:45.330 replay over and over in our heads. Hello, how are you? 0:01:46.010 --> 0:01:49.730 I'm good? How are you? Jasmine has a moment like that, 0:01:50.290 --> 0:01:53.290 a pivotal scene in the story of her life, and 0:01:53.330 --> 0:01:56.170 it's a scene that takes place where many pivotal movie 0:01:56.170 --> 0:01:59.970 moments do. At a high school dance fourteen years ago. 0:02:00.650 --> 0:02:03.370 It isn't as pig bloody as the prom and Carrie 0:02:03.770 --> 0:02:06.650 nor as teen Wolfe as the one from Teen Wolf, 0:02:07.170 --> 0:02:11.209 but it's every bit as cinematic. And to fully understand 0:02:11.290 --> 0:02:14.490 that night of spaghetti strap dresses and party rock anthem 0:02:14.530 --> 0:02:18.450 on gymnasium speakers, I have to zoom out and start 0:02:18.490 --> 0:02:21.290 with the setting where the dance took place, the city 0:02:21.330 --> 0:02:24.450 where Jasmine grew up, Springfield, Oregon. 0:02:25.770 --> 0:02:30.450 There's hardly any black people, and in every class I 0:02:30.570 --> 0:02:33.650 was in, it would be just me and like one 0:02:33.770 --> 0:02:36.889 or two other girls. 0:02:36.930 --> 0:02:40.690 Census estimates put the population of black residents in Springfield 0:02:40.810 --> 0:02:41.970 at around one percent. 0:02:42.650 --> 0:02:47.650 Oregon was one of the first states to outlaw slavery, 0:02:48.330 --> 0:02:53.210 but not because they believed that black people were worthy 0:02:53.330 --> 0:02:56.290 of not being slaves, because they didn't want black people 0:02:56.290 --> 0:03:00.010 in the state at all. They outlawed slavery in order 0:03:00.370 --> 0:03:01.810 to keep black folks. 0:03:01.490 --> 0:03:02.250 From being there. 0:03:02.850 --> 0:03:08.170 So there's just this ignorance and this like odd energy. 0:03:08.250 --> 0:03:13.290 There by odd energy, Jasmine is talking about the unapologetic 0:03:13.450 --> 0:03:16.850 racism she experienced all the time from a very young age, 0:03:17.450 --> 0:03:20.410 Like when Jasmine was seven and told by her friend 0:03:20.490 --> 0:03:24.050 that her friend's dad wouldn't like Jasmine because he quote 0:03:24.250 --> 0:03:27.530 didn't like black people. Or when in a high school 0:03:27.610 --> 0:03:31.290 drama class, everyone was instructed to write each other nice notes, 0:03:31.970 --> 0:03:35.810 Jasmine reads me one, I love your positive attitude, and 0:03:35.850 --> 0:03:38.890 I believe it's an exception to your ethnicity. You are 0:03:38.930 --> 0:03:42.450 a credit to your race. Or when Jasmine was in 0:03:42.490 --> 0:03:44.970 a school play and had a stage kiss with her 0:03:45.010 --> 0:03:46.650 scene partner who was white. 0:03:46.930 --> 0:03:49.170 And we kissed and then he goes, m tastes like 0:03:49.250 --> 0:03:54.570 black cherry, like that kind of stuff all the time, 0:03:54.650 --> 0:03:56.410 to the point that you know, you just laugh and 0:03:56.450 --> 0:03:58.850 you're like ha ha ha, but don't know why it 0:03:59.010 --> 0:04:01.410 makes you feel a certain way because everyone is laughing, 0:04:02.050 --> 0:04:04.850 like even in your close friends, because they also, like, 0:04:05.010 --> 0:04:10.810 do think it's funny? I think we actually sometimes even 0:04:11.090 --> 0:04:15.130 participated in the jokes at our own expense, because it's like, 0:04:15.170 --> 0:04:17.450 if you can get ahead of it, then it won't 0:04:17.529 --> 0:04:18.130 hurt as bad. 0:04:18.890 --> 0:04:20.570 How is it talked about in your family? 0:04:21.330 --> 0:04:26.009 You know, it just wasn't. And we always like prided 0:04:26.049 --> 0:04:29.330 ourselves on being a family that can talk about things, 0:04:29.369 --> 0:04:32.409 but race was never brought up. 0:04:33.330 --> 0:04:35.929 Jasmine's dad is black, but they didn't have much of 0:04:35.929 --> 0:04:39.169 a relationship growing up. She was raised by her mom, 0:04:39.369 --> 0:04:42.249 who was white. Among her white aunts and white uncles 0:04:42.250 --> 0:04:45.729 and white cousins, Jasmine was the only person of color 0:04:45.770 --> 0:04:46.609 within her family. 0:04:47.210 --> 0:04:49.210 I don't think I even heard anyone in my family 0:04:49.529 --> 0:04:53.409 say the word black. It almost felt like a bad 0:04:53.810 --> 0:05:00.609 word kind of. I just always felt so ugly, honestly, 0:05:00.810 --> 0:05:06.810 like just ugly and frizzy and not shiny. 0:05:08.010 --> 0:05:10.849 It was a feeling that falls Jasmine all the way 0:05:10.929 --> 0:05:16.650 until senior year, all the way until homecoming. 0:05:18.770 --> 0:05:22.570 So you know, it's September and it's time to vote 0:05:22.609 --> 0:05:26.330 for homecoming Queen, and it's like such a big deal 0:05:26.409 --> 0:05:33.650 and a marker of popularity and beauty and worth and importance. 0:05:34.810 --> 0:05:36.569 So this was like a big deal. Like did you 0:05:36.650 --> 0:05:39.849 remember those seniors that were king and queen in previous years? 0:05:39.929 --> 0:05:43.210 Well, yeah, I think it was Jessica Ray and James 0:05:43.330 --> 0:05:44.490 Quinn the year before. 0:05:44.849 --> 0:05:49.969 Yeah, like it's a thing. Jasmine was sitting in class 0:05:50.010 --> 0:05:53.169 when the PA system came on. Everyone was listening for 0:05:53.210 --> 0:05:57.330 who would be named homecoming royalty first, the homecoming court 0:05:57.450 --> 0:06:00.529 was announced princes and princesses. 0:06:00.489 --> 0:06:04.049 And I'm pretty sure they saved the queen for last, 0:06:05.049 --> 0:06:13.450 and they said my name, and I was in shock, Like, 0:06:13.489 --> 0:06:16.330 not only did they announce me as homecoming queen. But 0:06:16.570 --> 0:06:19.290 Jacob King, who was like the most popular boy all 0:06:19.330 --> 0:06:22.330 American football player, he was homecoming King. I was like, 0:06:22.330 --> 0:06:25.089 how is it him and me? And I remember being like, 0:06:25.409 --> 0:06:27.210 oh my god, Like did they mess up? 0:06:27.929 --> 0:06:31.810 The homecoming queen was usually someone popular and cool, two 0:06:31.849 --> 0:06:35.049 things Jasmine says that she wasn't in high school. She 0:06:35.330 --> 0:06:38.170 was a self proclaimed theater nerd from a conservative Christian 0:06:38.169 --> 0:06:41.169 household who was never invited to a single house party 0:06:41.489 --> 0:06:44.289 or asked out on a date. But it wasn't a 0:06:44.330 --> 0:06:47.890 mess up or a prank. After the announcement, kids came 0:06:47.969 --> 0:06:51.609 up and congratulated her. Maybe Jasmine had been wrong about 0:06:51.650 --> 0:06:54.529 how her classmates saw her. The rest of the day, 0:06:54.929 --> 0:07:02.409 Jasmine walked through the hallways as though floating through a dream. 0:07:02.570 --> 0:07:05.650 A few days later, Jasmine's queendom was announced at the 0:07:05.650 --> 0:07:09.929 homecoming football game. There on the field, Jasmine received a 0:07:09.970 --> 0:07:13.250 sash and a bouquet. The Springfield Times came to take 0:07:13.290 --> 0:07:17.490 her picture. But the thing Jasmine was most excited for 0:07:18.050 --> 0:07:21.810 was the homecoming dance. The night of the dance, Jasmine's 0:07:21.810 --> 0:07:24.570 mom helped her with her hair and makeup. She met 0:07:24.650 --> 0:07:27.769 up at a friend's house beforehand to have dinner Martin 0:07:27.810 --> 0:07:31.770 Ellie's and mac and cheese and get ready. Jasmine wore 0:07:31.810 --> 0:07:35.450 her coolest outfit, a short, black strapless dress with lime 0:07:35.489 --> 0:07:39.050 green feather earrings, lime green half leggings, and lime green 0:07:39.090 --> 0:07:42.569 fingerless gloves. And in case you're thinking geez, that's a 0:07:42.570 --> 0:07:44.929 lot of lime green, I'd like to remind you that 0:07:44.970 --> 0:07:48.210 this was high school in twenty eleven. My favorite outfit 0:07:48.330 --> 0:07:50.690 was a lime green skirt with a lime green tank top. 0:07:51.050 --> 0:07:53.010 I had a lime green cell phone and lime green 0:07:53.050 --> 0:07:57.450 floaty flip flops. Lime Green was cool, okay, and Jasmine 0:07:57.489 --> 0:08:00.610 looked cool on her way to the dance. What were 0:08:00.650 --> 0:08:03.449 your expectations for the night. What did you think was 0:08:03.610 --> 0:08:04.250 going to happen? 0:08:04.970 --> 0:08:10.210 I thought that they would call my name and it 0:08:10.210 --> 0:08:16.570 would be my movie moment, Like everyone would clap and 0:08:16.770 --> 0:08:21.210 shout and a spotlight would hit the center of the 0:08:21.330 --> 0:08:24.970 room and I would make my way toward Jacob King 0:08:25.690 --> 0:08:27.810 and maybe he would even whisper in my ear I've 0:08:27.850 --> 0:08:30.410 always been in love with you. And then you know, 0:08:30.450 --> 0:08:32.970 everyone would slowly like dance around us and it would 0:08:32.970 --> 0:08:35.890 be like, Wow, you've always been so beautiful and. 0:08:35.929 --> 0:08:39.050 Cool, Jasmon, you really had big expectations. 0:08:40.929 --> 0:08:41.770 I really did. 0:08:42.130 --> 0:08:45.090 I mean, I grew up watching like a Cinderella story 0:08:45.170 --> 0:08:47.650 and what a girl wants and that's how they all end. 0:08:47.890 --> 0:08:52.730 You know. Yeah, I thought it would change everything. In fact, 0:08:52.850 --> 0:08:57.090 it did not. And here is the moment that's been 0:08:57.130 --> 0:08:59.130 plaguing Jasmine for years. 0:08:59.570 --> 0:09:02.490 I don't know if they cut the music or if they. 0:09:02.410 --> 0:09:03.330 Just turned it down. 0:09:04.370 --> 0:09:08.890 And they announced and now it's time for our homecoming dance. 0:09:08.930 --> 0:09:11.330 My heart's beating so fast, you know, my stomach is 0:09:11.370 --> 0:09:12.650 like about to fall out of my butt. 0:09:12.690 --> 0:09:13.490 I'm so excited. 0:09:14.210 --> 0:09:15.050 And then they go. 0:09:15.130 --> 0:09:18.290 Our homecoming King Jacob. 0:09:18.570 --> 0:09:20.490 And everyone's like, whooh, crappy. 0:09:20.530 --> 0:09:26.090 And our homecoming Clean Whitney. 0:09:27.170 --> 0:09:31.050 Whitney, and it was really like a record scratch. Like 0:09:31.650 --> 0:09:33.250 in my head, I was like, wait what. 0:09:34.370 --> 0:09:37.170 Whitney was one of the few other black girls in 0:09:37.250 --> 0:09:38.450 Jasmine's grade. 0:09:38.570 --> 0:09:43.370 And I thought I mishard and I but I was 0:09:43.450 --> 0:09:46.130 kind of frozen, and I'm just looking around and it's 0:09:46.170 --> 0:09:49.650 like the room is spinning and I'm feeling crazy and 0:09:49.690 --> 0:09:53.050 I'm like, oh my god, oh that just happened. 0:09:54.010 --> 0:09:57.890 Overcome humiliated, Jasmine ran out of the gym to the 0:09:57.890 --> 0:10:01.730 courtyard or she collapsed at a table and cried. When 0:10:01.770 --> 0:10:04.290 eventually she dried her eyes and returned to the dance, 0:10:04.690 --> 0:10:07.330 no one said anything to her about it, so she 0:10:07.530 --> 0:10:10.730 just did what everyone else was doing. She danced, she 0:10:10.850 --> 0:10:20.250 talked to friends, she went home. I don't know, I 0:10:20.290 --> 0:10:24.050 don't know what happened. And this is what Jasmine has 0:10:24.090 --> 0:10:28.010 wondered ever since. Why Whitney's name was called instead of hers. 0:10:28.970 --> 0:10:33.890 Over the years, she's developed two possible theories. First, was 0:10:33.930 --> 0:10:38.170 one black girl mistaken for another. That's what Jasmine's best 0:10:38.210 --> 0:10:42.050 friend from high school, Danika, has always thought. Danika is 0:10:42.090 --> 0:10:45.090 also biracial, and remembers the moment the wrong name was 0:10:45.130 --> 0:10:48.770 called to her. It didn't seem that crazy that at 0:10:48.770 --> 0:10:52.090 their high school one black girl might be confused for another. 0:10:52.850 --> 0:10:55.090 I think that we were all a little bit interchangeable, 0:10:55.210 --> 0:11:01.210 she tells me. But then there's Jasmine's second theory, and 0:11:01.330 --> 0:11:05.970 even worse possibility. Could it be? Jasmine wonders that the 0:11:06.010 --> 0:11:10.530 announcement had been rigged. Whitney as an athlete, she was 0:11:10.570 --> 0:11:14.890 well liked, and she was their senior class president. In 0:11:14.970 --> 0:11:19.890 other words, Whitney was the popular black girl. She was 0:11:19.970 --> 0:11:22.530 part of the tight knit group of popular girls in 0:11:22.610 --> 0:11:23.850 Jasmine's grade. 0:11:24.090 --> 0:11:27.010 Like she was considered, like she was a pretty black 0:11:27.010 --> 0:11:30.570 girl and always straightened her hair. Like I used to 0:11:30.610 --> 0:11:33.850 remember thinking, when does suck girl sleep? Because she is 0:11:33.890 --> 0:11:38.050 in every single honors class and she's always wearing makeup 0:11:38.210 --> 0:11:41.370 and she streams her hair every day. There's no way 0:11:41.530 --> 0:11:43.890 she gets more than three hours of sleep at night. 0:11:44.050 --> 0:11:46.370 Like it just blew my mind. 0:11:47.290 --> 0:11:50.370 In many ways, Whitney was the more obvious choice for 0:11:50.450 --> 0:11:53.610 homecoming queen, which is why it felt to Jasmine like 0:11:53.690 --> 0:11:56.970 some secret decision had been made, Like if we're going 0:11:56.970 --> 0:11:59.370 to have a black homecoming queen, it's going to be 0:11:59.370 --> 0:12:03.850 the popular black girl, not you. After all, it didn't 0:12:03.930 --> 0:12:05.410 feel like a mistake. 0:12:05.610 --> 0:12:09.530 In my memory, no one was looking at me like wait, what, 0:12:09.890 --> 0:12:12.530 Like it felt like everyone in the room wasn't on 0:12:12.570 --> 0:12:14.490 something I wasn't in on, like there had been a 0:12:14.650 --> 0:12:17.090 consensus reached that on the day it would be a. 0:12:17.010 --> 0:12:20.050 Whitney and not me, because no one else seemed shocked. 0:12:20.810 --> 0:12:24.130 But Jasmine never found out what happened that night or 0:12:24.170 --> 0:12:26.570 why was it a mix up? 0:12:27.770 --> 0:12:31.450 Or like is the why that there could only be 0:12:31.490 --> 0:12:33.530 one black girl at the top? Is the why that 0:12:33.930 --> 0:12:36.930 they hated me? For some reason. It's like, even in 0:12:36.970 --> 0:12:40.250 this moment and throughout this conversation, I've oscillated between Okay, yeah, no, 0:12:40.330 --> 0:12:42.930 of course it was totally an accident and fuck that, 0:12:43.170 --> 0:12:48.250 no it wasn't, and both of those feel intense, And 0:12:48.330 --> 0:12:48.970 so it's like. 0:12:49.650 --> 0:12:58.490 Where where to land? It's been fourteen years since homecoming, 0:12:58.970 --> 0:13:02.450 but Jasmine thinks about it often, like once a week 0:13:02.530 --> 0:13:05.130 for the last seven hundred and twenty eight weeks, not 0:13:05.130 --> 0:13:09.770 that anyone's counting. Jasmine is an actor and success full one, 0:13:09.970 --> 0:13:13.570 with major roles in Yellowjackets and The Leftovers. In twenty 0:13:13.610 --> 0:13:16.650 twenty four, she was included in Forbes thirty Under thirty 0:13:16.690 --> 0:13:20.170 list for Hollywood and Entertainment. She has a partner, a 0:13:20.210 --> 0:13:23.130 beloved cat and dog, and a news podcast for the 0:13:23.210 --> 0:13:26.970 queer community. By every metric, she's living a full and 0:13:27.050 --> 0:13:30.850 happy life. And yet it's a moment she returns to 0:13:31.690 --> 0:13:35.610 I just want to know why, Jasmine says, the popular 0:13:35.650 --> 0:13:38.810 girls ran the homecoming committee. They might have the answer, 0:13:39.450 --> 0:13:41.970 and Jasmine is still Facebook friends with a few and 0:13:42.050 --> 0:13:45.610 can reach out. Sounds easy, right, No it doesn't. 0:13:47.050 --> 0:13:50.370 I'm still scared of these girls, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, 0:13:50.410 --> 0:13:53.530 the thought of that makes me feel nauseous. 0:13:53.050 --> 0:13:55.730 But that's what I'm here for, to walk up to 0:13:55.770 --> 0:13:58.690 the cool kids at their lunch table, so Jasmine doesn't 0:13:58.730 --> 0:14:23.530 have to after the break. The popular girls popular girls. 0:14:24.210 --> 0:14:27.050 When I google the names Jasmine gives me, I find 0:14:27.050 --> 0:14:29.490 photos of them from high school. There are a lot 0:14:29.490 --> 0:14:32.810 of high ponytails and straight toothed smiles. There are a 0:14:32.850 --> 0:14:36.570 lot of sports action shots midspike and volleyball, or dribbling 0:14:36.610 --> 0:14:40.530 down the basketball court. There's a lot of eyeliner. These 0:14:40.570 --> 0:14:42.650 are girls who knew how to dress and would never 0:14:42.690 --> 0:14:46.090 be caught dead in head to toe lime green, which yeah, fine, 0:14:46.090 --> 0:14:49.570 I'll admit it was never that cool. And the names 0:14:49.930 --> 0:14:55.650 they just sound like the names of popular girls. Ashley Bailey, Stephanie, Ali, 0:14:56.130 --> 0:15:00.010 Caitlin with a Y, Cassidy with a K. But the 0:15:00.050 --> 0:15:04.250 thing about the popular kids, their power is weakened with 0:15:04.330 --> 0:15:09.050 time outside of high school, a decade even beyond college, 0:15:09.090 --> 0:15:14.210 which they get much less intimidating. Or this is what 0:15:14.250 --> 0:15:17.250 I'm telling myself as I clear my throat and make 0:15:17.290 --> 0:15:17.810 the calls. 0:15:18.530 --> 0:15:18.730 Hi. 0:15:19.330 --> 0:15:24.450 I'm calling for Ali, Hi, Stephanie, Hi, Cassidy. My name 0:15:24.530 --> 0:15:26.970 is I'm trying to reach Keaitland, who the story is 0:15:26.970 --> 0:15:29.970 actually about homecoming. Story I'm working on about homecoming. I'm 0:15:30.010 --> 0:15:31.850 sure this is sort of a strange message, Rucy, You're 0:15:31.850 --> 0:15:38.690 having a good day. Take care bye. Most of my 0:15:38.730 --> 0:15:42.130 messages aren't returned. The couple of women who do call 0:15:42.170 --> 0:15:45.490 me back say they remember Jasmine winning and the announcement 0:15:45.530 --> 0:15:48.210 at the game, but not the incident at the dance. 0:15:49.210 --> 0:15:52.530 So I phone Jacob King, the homecoming King. He's at 0:15:52.530 --> 0:15:55.250 work and says he can talk later, but then texts 0:15:55.290 --> 0:15:58.970 me minutes after backing out. I text asking if he 0:15:59.010 --> 0:16:01.610 remembers the mix up and see the three dots typing, 0:16:02.250 --> 0:16:05.570 then the three dots stop, ha ha, you were typing, 0:16:05.610 --> 0:16:09.490 and then stop typing. I write the three dots reap here, 0:16:09.890 --> 0:16:13.050 and this time he hit send. I don't have a 0:16:13.130 --> 0:16:17.210 memory of that, and then, like everyone else, he stops 0:16:17.250 --> 0:16:17.930 answering me. 0:16:18.690 --> 0:16:22.090 Doesn't that point to something like, what are you defensive of? 0:16:22.290 --> 0:16:23.810 If there's nothing to be defensive of. 0:16:24.570 --> 0:16:27.810 It's true, and maybe they all have something to hide, 0:16:28.410 --> 0:16:30.970 but maybe they just don't like the implication that a 0:16:31.050 --> 0:16:32.570 racist mistake was made. 0:16:32.970 --> 0:16:39.410 Right, Yeah, if only someone would just like talk the talk. 0:16:40.090 --> 0:16:45.090 And one popular girl does Bailey and Bailey talks the 0:16:45.170 --> 0:16:50.570 talk to me about a key piece of information. The 0:16:50.610 --> 0:16:53.930 popular girls I've been calling they weren't actually part of 0:16:53.970 --> 0:16:58.330 planning homecoming, as Jasmine had thought. That job fell to 0:16:58.410 --> 0:17:05.010 one person, the senior class president, aka Whitney, the very 0:17:05.129 --> 0:17:08.050 same Whitney who was pronounced queen at the dance that 0:17:08.090 --> 0:17:12.210 she apparently planned. And not only that, it turns out 0:17:12.250 --> 0:17:15.729 Whitney was a princess on the homecoming court, the homecoming 0:17:15.810 --> 0:17:20.609 queen runner up, a lady in waiting who dethrones the queen. 0:17:21.369 --> 0:17:24.530 Was this an act of regicide, or at least the 0:17:24.609 --> 0:17:28.129 high school version of it? At this point, it looks 0:17:28.169 --> 0:17:31.169 like the only person who might have the answers Jasmine's 0:17:31.169 --> 0:17:42.930 looking for is Whitney. Jasmine says, asking Whitney feels scary, 0:17:43.530 --> 0:17:47.010 even scarier in some ways than asking the other popular girls. 0:17:47.649 --> 0:17:51.449 Because Whitney was a popular black girl, Jasmine, if only 0:17:51.449 --> 0:17:55.169 in her own mind, often felt pitted against her, comparing 0:17:55.209 --> 0:17:58.770 herself to Whitney coming up short, which the whole homecoming 0:17:58.810 --> 0:18:03.889 debacle only reinforced. But recently, sitting at home late one night, 0:18:04.169 --> 0:18:07.929 Jasmine googled Whitney's name. What popped up was an article 0:18:07.970 --> 0:18:11.050 from the Guardian that Whitney wrote in twenty twenty eight 0:18:11.129 --> 0:18:14.449 years after high school, and the subject of the article 0:18:14.490 --> 0:18:17.609 Whitney wrote was what it was like growing up black 0:18:17.689 --> 0:18:22.090 in Springfield. The racist jobs at school, the comments about 0:18:22.090 --> 0:18:25.250 her hair, the jokes she made at her own expense, 0:18:25.889 --> 0:18:29.569 and how confusing it was to navigate alone. There were 0:18:29.609 --> 0:18:33.169 parts that felt lifted out of Jasmine's own life, Like 0:18:33.250 --> 0:18:37.810 Jasmine Whitney's family didn't talk about race, Like Jasmine, Whitney 0:18:37.810 --> 0:18:40.409 had a white mom and a black dad who wasn't home. 0:18:41.169 --> 0:18:44.969 From the article, Jasmine learned that Whitney's father was incarcerated 0:18:45.010 --> 0:18:46.889 for most of her childhood. 0:18:46.929 --> 0:18:50.409 And that she would visit him weekly and was dealing 0:18:50.449 --> 0:18:56.609 with this very heavy, very adult thing. I had these 0:18:56.649 --> 0:18:59.970 stories about her and these assumptions. Meanwhile she was fighting 0:19:00.010 --> 0:19:04.289 her own battles. How sad that we never and I 0:19:04.330 --> 0:19:06.889 never knew that, and that we never connected on that. 0:19:09.409 --> 0:19:12.810 Jasmine wonders, outside of the context of high school and 0:19:12.889 --> 0:19:18.129 popular groups and homecoming and Springfield, maybe they can. Maybe 0:19:18.209 --> 0:19:21.570 Jasmine can ask her what happened that night, addressing her 0:19:21.770 --> 0:19:24.609 not as the girl she'd felt pitted against, but as 0:19:24.649 --> 0:19:39.169 a woman with a shared past. After the break Whitney. 0:19:50.290 --> 0:19:52.570 When I reach out to Whitney, I tell her about 0:19:52.570 --> 0:19:56.050 this homecoming project, how Jasmine has questions about that night. 0:19:56.770 --> 0:19:59.850 I expect that, like the other popular girls, she won't 0:19:59.850 --> 0:20:02.769 want to talk, but she wants to help Jasmine, so 0:20:02.889 --> 0:20:06.889 she agrees. Whitney now lives in Portland, Oregon, where she 0:20:06.970 --> 0:20:10.050 works as a creative producer, and it just so happens 0:20:10.090 --> 0:20:12.689 that in about a week Jasmine will be home for 0:20:12.730 --> 0:20:15.769 a visit. So we meet up at a small Airbnb 0:20:15.970 --> 0:20:21.489 I booked for the reunion. Hi, Bhi. Whitney and Jasmine 0:20:21.609 --> 0:20:29.129 hug and greeting, Ah, you look great. They get settled 0:20:29.209 --> 0:20:32.409 on two chairs facing each other. Whitney has her feet 0:20:32.490 --> 0:20:36.210 up on her seat, Jasmine is smiling. This is crazy. 0:20:36.449 --> 0:20:38.489 I feel like last time we saw each other was 0:20:38.570 --> 0:20:41.450 high school, probably graduation day. 0:20:42.050 --> 0:20:45.770 Yeah, there was a ten year reunion, but Jasmine didn't go. 0:20:46.490 --> 0:20:49.489 Neither did Whitney, even though she was supposed to organize it. 0:20:49.929 --> 0:20:53.729 Apparently that's the job of the senior class president, which, 0:20:53.850 --> 0:20:56.649 if you ask me, falls a little outside the term 0:20:56.770 --> 0:20:58.369 for an elected high school official. 0:20:58.689 --> 0:21:00.010 I promised an open bar. 0:21:00.129 --> 0:21:02.609 I ran on that. You promised, who was going to 0:21:02.649 --> 0:21:03.210 pay for that. 0:21:03.730 --> 0:21:07.690 Yeah, that's a great question, but like seventeen, you don't 0:21:07.730 --> 0:21:08.249 think about that. 0:21:09.129 --> 0:21:12.369 But then Whitney spent the next ten years thinking about it, 0:21:12.570 --> 0:21:15.249 stressing about disappointing people if she couldn't deliver. 0:21:15.609 --> 0:21:19.570 Someone tweeted me five years later and said we didn't forget. 0:21:19.970 --> 0:21:23.490 I was like, I'm gonna bar that's really funny. 0:21:23.609 --> 0:21:30.409 Yeah, they both seem a little nervous, and so at first, 0:21:30.770 --> 0:21:34.530 Jasmine tries to make Whitney feel comfortable. She tells Whitney 0:21:34.609 --> 0:21:37.770 how much she liked her article. They trade horror stories 0:21:37.810 --> 0:21:38.569 from high school. 0:21:39.209 --> 0:21:43.210 Sophomore year, two of my friends came into my math 0:21:43.250 --> 0:21:46.129 class and we're like, so, we've decided we're going to 0:21:46.169 --> 0:21:49.490 initiate you as our black friend. It's going to rap 0:21:49.609 --> 0:21:52.050 you in toilet paper and roll you down a hill. 0:21:52.369 --> 0:21:52.570 What. 0:21:52.970 --> 0:21:56.889 Yes, it's crazy, crazy. 0:21:56.609 --> 0:21:59.129 And I'm sure it hurt. But I also there wasn't 0:21:59.169 --> 0:22:01.769 even space to allow ourselves to be hurt because it 0:22:01.810 --> 0:22:04.010 was so constant. 0:22:04.929 --> 0:22:08.770 And for Whitney, it wasn't just the racism. Whitney says 0:22:08.810 --> 0:22:12.169 she from a poor family. She grew up picking up 0:22:12.209 --> 0:22:16.570 food boxes, getting her Thanksgiving meals from the school. Whitney 0:22:16.609 --> 0:22:18.530 had to work hard to fit into that tight knit 0:22:18.609 --> 0:22:21.449 group of middle class white girls. When she was going 0:22:21.449 --> 0:22:25.369 to school every day without breakfast. Whitney says she acted 0:22:25.409 --> 0:22:28.210 like a happy, go lucky kid, when in fact, from 0:22:28.250 --> 0:22:31.129 a really young age, she was in survival mode. 0:22:31.169 --> 0:22:33.769 Like I remember being in third grade being like I 0:22:33.770 --> 0:22:36.690 can't even imagine high school because I'll probably die before then, 0:22:36.850 --> 0:22:38.329 Like there's no way I'm actually ever going to make 0:22:38.369 --> 0:22:38.649 it there. 0:22:44.889 --> 0:22:47.649 Eventually, Jasmine brings up homecoming. 0:22:48.010 --> 0:22:51.850 I want to get into the stuff. 0:22:52.129 --> 0:22:56.410 And Whitney, without hesitation, is game. I'm sad, let's do. 0:22:56.449 --> 0:23:00.450 It, Like I've just wanted to know your version of 0:23:00.490 --> 0:23:02.050 what happened. 0:23:02.530 --> 0:23:05.570 Yeah, so just to like go back, like I remember 0:23:05.770 --> 0:23:07.929 the football game where it was like now it's so 0:23:08.050 --> 0:23:10.449 like we all knew you had already won, I thought. 0:23:10.369 --> 0:23:12.730 At that point, yeah right, yeah. 0:23:12.730 --> 0:23:18.129 And then the night of the dance, I don't remember 0:23:18.449 --> 0:23:21.929 a lot except I was really stressed because I was 0:23:22.010 --> 0:23:22.609 planning it. 0:23:23.449 --> 0:23:26.889 As class president, Whitney was in charge of everything, picking 0:23:26.889 --> 0:23:30.409 out the crowns, selling the tickets, buying the decorations, setting 0:23:30.449 --> 0:23:34.450 up the gym, all largely by herself. So when Whitney 0:23:34.490 --> 0:23:37.890 thinks about homecoming, what she remembers, is how stressed out 0:23:37.929 --> 0:23:40.690 she was leading up to the dance, But the night 0:23:40.730 --> 0:23:41.850 of the dance itself. 0:23:42.369 --> 0:23:45.050 I want to be honest, I don't really remember the 0:23:45.209 --> 0:23:50.689 night like at all, Like not even I remember like 0:23:51.129 --> 0:23:54.090 getting everything like set up, trying to make sure everything 0:23:54.209 --> 0:23:57.289 was like in place, like the people working who are 0:23:57.290 --> 0:24:01.170 going to take the tickets, but the actual like that moment. 0:24:01.609 --> 0:24:06.369 The moment Jasmine remembers so clearly Whitney's name being announced instead. 0:24:06.010 --> 0:24:08.090 Of her own, I don't remember it. 0:24:09.169 --> 0:24:11.689 If Homecoming was a pivotal scene in the movie of 0:24:11.770 --> 0:24:15.090 Jasmine's life, once she's played over and over until the 0:24:15.129 --> 0:24:18.689 tape has worn thin. For Whitney, it's been taped over, 0:24:19.689 --> 0:24:22.850 but she says she's sure that if she was announced 0:24:22.889 --> 0:24:25.529 as Homecoming Queen, she never would have gone up and 0:24:25.609 --> 0:24:28.769 accepted the crown or joined Jacob King for a dance. 0:24:29.369 --> 0:24:32.129 If they called my name, I would have been horrified 0:24:33.050 --> 0:24:36.129 because I wanted everything to like just like go well, 0:24:36.209 --> 0:24:39.129 so like I would have been absolutely horrified, and I 0:24:39.129 --> 0:24:41.889 would have went somewhere and been like, hey, like that 0:24:42.010 --> 0:24:44.530 was wrong name. Can we like reset? 0:24:45.290 --> 0:24:47.409 Is there a chance that you would have been so? 0:24:47.609 --> 0:24:50.129 Like this night has to go smoothly that if you 0:24:50.169 --> 0:24:52.769 were called, you would just be like, Okay, I'm just 0:24:52.770 --> 0:24:54.530 gonna dan like you know what I mean, Like keep 0:24:54.530 --> 0:24:55.050 it moving. 0:24:55.530 --> 0:24:57.290 No, what happened to the crown? 0:24:57.570 --> 0:24:59.369