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Speaker 1: Wow, we were actually synked in our little clay that are.

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Speaker 2: I know, I'm so proud of us. We're very very

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Speaker 2: slight synced up, synced up to. Yeah, I love it. Well,

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Speaker 2: Welcome back to how Rude Tanner Ritos. I'm Andrea Barber

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Speaker 2: and I'm Jody Sweeton, and today we have a fun

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Speaker 2: mini soode for you guys. We are talking about the

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Speaker 2: top ten best parenting lessons from Full House, which we

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Speaker 2: got from a website.

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Speaker 1: Yeah right, we yes, we but but I we're you know,

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Speaker 1: gonna go through each of them and talk about them.

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Speaker 1: And I do think there's some really great parenting things

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Speaker 1: on here that Danny Tanner and full House definitely taught us.

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Speaker 2: Yes, we can say thank you to Danny Tanner for

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Speaker 2: these great parenting lessons. You know, full House raised a

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Speaker 2: whole generation for you know, people feel like they don't

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Speaker 2: you get that all the time. People come up to

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Speaker 2: me all the time and say, I grew up with you,

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Speaker 2: and oh yeah, hi, yeah, like we're childhood best friends,

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Speaker 2: you know.

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Speaker 3: Yeah exactly.

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Speaker 2: It was.

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Speaker 1: I mean, so many kids our age watched the show

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Speaker 1: and sort of you know, as we were going through

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Speaker 1: all of our life stuff, so were they and so

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Speaker 1: it felt very reflective of their experience. And again they're

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Speaker 1: you know, family sitcoms often didn't focus as much on

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Speaker 1: the kids, and so our show really focused on the

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Speaker 1: kids a lot, and on you know, how families get along,

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Speaker 1: and how different sorts of families get along, and you

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Speaker 1: know all that kind of stuff and different styles of parenting. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: it was yeah, because there was you know, three different

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Speaker 1: people in the house and and helping.

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Speaker 3: Raise these kids.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, it was.

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Speaker 3: I really liked some of these though. These are are

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Speaker 3: good ones.

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Speaker 2: These are great ones. These are great ones.

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Speaker 3: Shall we dive in.

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Speaker 2: Let's dive in and learn from back and forth.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, let's just yeah, let's do it.

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Speaker 2: Okay. Number one, respect your children's boundaries, but also do

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Speaker 2: whatever it takes to help. And the website gives the

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Speaker 2: example of Danny reading a secret note that DJ had written.

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Speaker 2: I agree with this. I think kids need to feel

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Speaker 2: some autonomy. They need to feel like they have a

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Speaker 2: space of their own that's just for them. Absolutely, that's

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Speaker 2: protected from parents' eyes. I do. Yeah, unless you're concerned

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Speaker 2: that they're in danger or something, then you will obviously

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Speaker 2: can break the trust.

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Speaker 3: I have always told my kids.

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Speaker 1: I will respect your privacy, your friend's privacy, unless it's

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Speaker 1: something that's going to put you or someone else in danger.

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Speaker 1: Then then then I cannot keep those secrets.

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Speaker 3: Right, right, you know I said.

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Speaker 1: But yeah, especially like as kids get older, if they

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Speaker 1: don't feel like they have a space of their own

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Speaker 1: to like have their own experience and figure things out

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Speaker 1: a little bit, then I feel like sometimes they'll hide

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Speaker 1: stuff from you even more if you're constantly crossing that boundaries.

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it would definitely backfire if you were too nosy.

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Speaker 2: So yeah, some secrets are good.

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Speaker 1: It's so hard though, to like keep that in you

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Speaker 1: know what I mean. I mean like when you find

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Speaker 1: out something, you're like, oh I can't okay, what is

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Speaker 1: the what's the you know, right thing to do?

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Speaker 2: Like?

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Speaker 1: Do I not say anything and let them figure it out?

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Speaker 1: Do I say something?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, Well Danny did a good job with trying to,

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Speaker 1: you know, remind his kids he'll.

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Speaker 3: Do whatever it takes.

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Speaker 2: But also, oh gosh, that was a lesson that knocked

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Speaker 2: you over the head. Yeah, those the three guys, all

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Speaker 2: of them really would do anything for the girls. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: like they were always That's that's something I think a

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Speaker 2: lot of people who didn't have that family support really

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Speaker 2: latched onto was just the unconditional love that this household

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Speaker 2: had for each other, and that they were always there

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Speaker 2: for each other too, almost to a fault. But yeah, right,

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Speaker 2: you know, I think that's a great it's a great lesson. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: don't read their diaries as much as you want to

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Speaker 2: know it's going on right now, don't you just don't

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Speaker 2: go there, don't.

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Speaker 3: Go no, no no.

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Speaker 2: Uh.

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Speaker 1: Number two, it's important to remember you were a kid

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Speaker 1: once too.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, so I get this this, I get this a lot.

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Speaker 2: I feel this a lot with teenagers, Yeah, because it's

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Speaker 2: so easy to trivialize their feelings, Like they're so insecure

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Speaker 2: and concerned about how they look, and I think nobody's

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Speaker 2: looking at you.

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Speaker 3: Worry about it.

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Speaker 2: Everyone's concerned about how they look, so they're not paying

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Speaker 2: attention to you. But we've got to remember that insecurity

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Speaker 2: that you know, they just they're always just hyper fixated

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Speaker 2: on themselves.

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Speaker 1: I always say too, like it's hard sometimes as a

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Speaker 1: parent when you get to that place where, uh, you know,

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Speaker 1: you finally have like a frontal lobe and some sort

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Speaker 1: of idea of like consequences and you know, all these

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Speaker 1: things that happen as you mature into your mid twenties,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like the twenty four twenty five,

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Speaker 1: they don't think your frontal lobe is developed that has

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Speaker 1: the you know, consequences and long term thing late. So

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Speaker 1: I know, for me, sometimes it's really hard to like

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Speaker 1: go back to a time that that that my brain

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Speaker 1: didn't go, okay, well if.

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Speaker 3: This happens, then this is gonna happen.

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Speaker 1: Or if you stay up late, then you're gonna want

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Speaker 1: you know, and you're gonna be tired the next day.

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Speaker 1: Like kids don't that, they don't have that, they don't

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Speaker 1: have that. It doesn't connect, and it sometimes you're like

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Speaker 1: what is wrong with you? And you're like, nothing's necessarily

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Speaker 1: wrong with them. It's just their kid and their brain

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Speaker 1: doesn't work the same way. But it's so hard sometimes

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Speaker 1: to remember that, to remember that, like you were a

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Speaker 1: kid wants to and you were just just you know,

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Speaker 1: sort of weirdly self centered and not necessarily thinking of others.

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Speaker 2: And I think that's common childhood development. You know, they're

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Speaker 2: absolutely very narcissistic little people. That's absolutely the child development exactly.

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Speaker 3: But it's sometimes you just and especially as they get older.

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Speaker 3: You're like, oh, how do I m?

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Speaker 2: Why do I knock some sense into you? But you're like, no,

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Speaker 2: they're they're just kids. That's okay. Well Number three, let

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Speaker 2: your children have their own responsibilities. And the website gives

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Speaker 2: the example of doing chort charts for the girls, or

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Speaker 2: Danny teaching Michelle how to mop.

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Speaker 3: I'm so bad at this one?

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Speaker 2: Wait? Really? Yeah? How are you bad at? How are

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Speaker 2: you bad at this one? Could I could see you

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Speaker 2: like being like clean your rooms and do the dishes

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Speaker 2: and take the trash out.

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Speaker 3: I mean I do, I'm like, clean your room, do

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Speaker 3: the thing. But like it's.

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Speaker 1: It's hard and and and I think you'll understand this too.

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Speaker 1: When you have kids that go back and forth between

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Speaker 1: your house and dad's house, there's and my girls go

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Speaker 1: back quite a bit.

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Speaker 3: It's not even that there's different rules.

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Speaker 1: It's just that it becomes very hard to have like

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Speaker 1: sort of a regular chore thing of like, okay, you

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Speaker 1: do the dishes you Monday, Wednesday, Friday, because you're only

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Speaker 1: here every Wednesday and then every other Friday or that,

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Speaker 1: you know, like, yeah, it becomes hard and and and

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Speaker 1: more tedious.

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Speaker 3: And I just I also.

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Speaker 1: Like I will I have little chor charts and I

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Speaker 1: am great for like two weeks, but then my add

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Speaker 1: kicks in and I forget to have them do the

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Speaker 1: chor chart or I don't know where I put it,

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Speaker 1: or I'm like, oh, this isn't working, and I just

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Speaker 1: get rid of it. And so we've I will definitely

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Speaker 1: say I uh. That is one area at my house

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Speaker 1: that has is a struggle, is like getting everyone on

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Speaker 1: board with doing the same chores or like just you know,

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Speaker 1: and it's just it's a lot of arguing.

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Speaker 2: It's a lot of arguing. But I it's it's it's

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Speaker 2: hard being the disciplinarian all the time. You know, some kids,

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Speaker 2: I just want to have fun with you, especially if

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Speaker 2: you're yeah, if you split custody, just want to have

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Speaker 2: fun with it. It's yeah.

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Speaker 1: And my thing is always clean your room and like

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Speaker 1: just take trash out of your room.

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Speaker 3: Can you just take the trash out?

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Speaker 2: Get the cups? Don't want the cup the cups that multiply.

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Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, why do they drink? They drink so much.

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Speaker 2: They're the most well hydrated children.

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Speaker 3: And yet they're not like they're hydrated. But nothing is

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Speaker 3: empty it's all gone.

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Speaker 1: Like they pour a gigantic glass of juice and then

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Speaker 1: drink that much and now you got a half. And

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Speaker 1: I'm like, why do you guys pour so much juice?

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Speaker 1: I pour them a couple of juice. They're like, that's

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Speaker 1: so small. I'm like, you can refill it. But once

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Speaker 1: you poured it in there and you're drinking out of

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Speaker 1: it with your grubby little mouth, now now it's not.

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Speaker 2: Going back in. Pour it back in, but the cups.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, Well, my kids are pretty good at their their

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Speaker 2: own personal responsibilities. Like they can clean their rooms, they

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Speaker 2: can do their own laundry, they can make their own

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Speaker 2: food if they don't like, yeah, good with that. But

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Speaker 2: like the household chores, I'm mad at. I'm bad at that.

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Speaker 2: I'm kind of like, I like the way I put

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Speaker 2: the dishes in the dish. They put the dishes away,

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Speaker 2: and they're bad at it. I swear it's learned in

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Speaker 2: common learned helplessness. Yeah, helpless that's what it is. Yes,

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Speaker 2: they do it badly so that I don't ask him

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Speaker 2: to do it again.

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Speaker 3: It's true, it's true.

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Speaker 1: And you know, I mean, we've all had that thing

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Speaker 1: when you're like Okay, come wash the dish, and they

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Speaker 1: wash it and then you look at it and you're.

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Speaker 2: Like that, let's not washed.

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Speaker 3: They don't even like sometimes they I'm like, did was

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Speaker 3: it a hot water?

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Speaker 2: Oh? Did you even put the little scrubby?

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Speaker 3: Did you use soap?

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Speaker 2: Oh?

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Speaker 3: What do you mean? Yeah?

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Speaker 2: Tato is the worst. I mean, he's so great at

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Speaker 2: I'm like a for effort, you tried, but none.

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Speaker 3: They don't even try though. They just go, well, you'll

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Speaker 3: do it because you if you, you know, get sick

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Speaker 3: of it.

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Speaker 1: But like, I don't want to find after the fourth

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Speaker 1: time of washing the same dish, you'd think you would

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Speaker 1: do it properly.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, but I get it.

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Speaker 3: You just want to get it done.

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Speaker 2: I think this is one of those things. I mean

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Speaker 2: I've kind of like waved my white flag at the spot.

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Speaker 2: I know. Yeah, I'm like, but mine are nineteen and no,

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Speaker 2: mine are mine's almost twenty twight, it's gonna be twenty

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Speaker 2: next week. Oh my gosh, oh are twenty and seventeen.

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Speaker 2: So I'm kind of like, Okay, when you're when you

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Speaker 2: have a roommate for the first time, that's where I'm at.

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Speaker 2: That's when you're gonna learn that you can't live the

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Speaker 2: way you've been living for the life.

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Speaker 1: And you know what, honestly, that's really when it kicks

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Speaker 1: in because when they are faced with someone else, not

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Speaker 1: their parent, nagging them or being disappointed in how they

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Speaker 1: are sharing their space.

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Speaker 2: When you really to pay to do your own laundry,

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Speaker 2: that's when you appreciate. Oh wow, it's great having a

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Speaker 2: laundry machine, right, you're at the house that you don't

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Speaker 2: have to pay for.

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Speaker 3: I would love if my kids did just did the laundry.

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Speaker 2: Just do it and fold it. Don't leave me the

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Speaker 2: dryer for a week, fold it and put it away,

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Speaker 2: or just put it away.

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Speaker 3: I see.

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Speaker 1: That's the thing is we're all all with me, and

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Speaker 1: the girls were just a little add mess, and so

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Speaker 1: we will start laundry and miscal's like, whose laundry is this?

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Speaker 3: Because it could sometimes cause it's mine. Yeah that's right,

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Speaker 3: Oh my god, that's right. I started that four days ago. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: so I can't.

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Speaker 1: That's the thing too, is like I can't even get

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Speaker 1: that mad because I totally do the same stuff and

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Speaker 1: like it.

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Speaker 3: It's just yeah.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's hard to teach lessons that you yourself are

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Speaker 2: not really abiding buy. So I get it. We're not perfect,

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Speaker 2: we're flawed.

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Speaker 1: It's okay, perfect, Okay, but they but once they get roommates, oh,

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Speaker 1: then they'll be clean.

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Speaker 2: I can't wait.

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Speaker 3: Once it's too late for us.

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Speaker 1: And then yeah, as you see when the parents go

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Speaker 1: to their their like I went to my kid's apartment

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Speaker 1: and they just leave every drawer open, the fridge open, everything.

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Speaker 1: They're like, just payback and you're like, yeah, you can't

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Speaker 1: look for that. It's gonna ye leave everything open and unplugged.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, how many roommates are going to move

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Speaker 2: out of the apartment. How many roommates are going to

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Speaker 2: go through before you learn the lesson? Hopefully not too many.

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Speaker 3: Well, but the roommates will probably be a mess too.

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Speaker 3: They'll figure it out.

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Speaker 2: They'll they always they always figure it out. Yep. Hopefully

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Speaker 2: by the time they're twenty five and the frontal has

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Speaker 2: developed has developed. Yeah, exactly.

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Speaker 1: Sure.

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Speaker 2: Number four, help your children resolve conflict on their own terms.

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Speaker 2: This is all Danny does. Like how many There were

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Speaker 2: no examples, by the way, but okay, I feel like

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Speaker 2: this is all Danny does. How many times have the

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Speaker 2: girls moved themselves in and out of the bedroom. Like

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Speaker 2: they are solving their own conflicts, you know, solving DJs,

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Speaker 2: moving down amazing companies. Yeah, the girls are very self reliant.

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Speaker 2: I'm saying they are.

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Speaker 1: They really are, actually, like they're they for three kids. Uh,

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Speaker 1: these three guys seem to always be doing a lot

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Speaker 1: of stuff.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they had a lot of the kids are.

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Speaker 1: But I think this one's really important, like resolving conflict

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Speaker 1: on their own terms, because I know as a parent,

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Speaker 1: for me, it's so hard sometimes to want to jump

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Speaker 1: in and fix your kids problems or like especially friend problems.

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Speaker 1: You know. Yeah, like I've been there, I get it, Like, no,

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Speaker 1: this person needs to know this or you guys need

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Speaker 1: to you know. And it's like if you interject yourself

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Speaker 1: into their I mean again, unless someone's unsafe or like

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Speaker 1: severe bullying or something. But of course, but conflict like

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Speaker 1: between siblings or between friends, a lot of times you're like, oh, man,

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Speaker 1: I'll be your sounding board, but I can't fix this

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Speaker 1: for you.

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Speaker 2: That's the best. That's probably the best advice actually is

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Speaker 2: just to just to listen, like you don't Sometimes you

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Speaker 2: don't have to solve everything, and you shouldn't because kids

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Speaker 2: need to learn how to solve things themselves. But yeah,

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Speaker 2: just to listen, be a sounding board, being like, you know,

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Speaker 2: buying like their little therapists. Just just listen, just listen

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Speaker 2: and say, okay, well I'm here for you if you

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Speaker 2: want advice, which they don't.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, right, it's really hard sometimes too. I fall into

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Speaker 1: that trap all the time of being like, well, you

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Speaker 1: know when I was your but and I'm like, oh

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Speaker 1: my god, stop shut up.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I know we sound like our parents, you know.

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Speaker 3: I hate it.

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Speaker 2: It's it's the worst. It's the worst feeling.

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Speaker 1: And I realized that I'm like trying to relate to

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Speaker 1: them and that's probably what my parents were doing. And

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Speaker 1: I was like, you're so lame. But yeah, conflict resolution

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Speaker 1: is not easy. And if you don't let your kids

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Speaker 1: learn how to do it, they're never going to resolve conflict.

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Speaker 1: They're just going to either avoid it or create it

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Speaker 1: and walk away.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. No, they have to learn. They got to learn

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Speaker 2: those skills, and they're going to make mistakes and that's okay.

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Speaker 2: They're gonna they might lose a few friends, you know,

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Speaker 2: they might they might switch to a different best friend. Whatever.

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Speaker 2: That's that's called life. And you how you learn yeah.

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Speaker 1: And sometimes sometimes like like it's hard when your kid

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Speaker 1: has been maybe the one that kind of started the conflict,

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Speaker 1: or or they're getting you know, when their friend is

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Speaker 1: being mean to them and you want to jump in,

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Speaker 1: but like you need to start teaching them how to

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Speaker 1: you know, at a certain age, how to advocate for

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Speaker 1: themselves and has saying this hurt my feelings or this

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Speaker 1: is not.

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Speaker 2: Okay, and to set boundaries. Yeah. Yeah, it's all very

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Speaker 2: hard life lessons. I think with conflict with the kids,

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Speaker 2: I mean, at this point in my parenting journey, it's

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Speaker 2: again it's like waving a white flag. I'm like, I'm

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Speaker 2: too tired, like solve this yourself, kids, because I am

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Speaker 2: too tired to fix this well.

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Speaker 1: And it's also the same with my girls either at

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Speaker 1: an age now where it's like, okay, I'm not as

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Speaker 1: worried that like someone's gonna get hurt because they're you know,

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Speaker 1: being silly or wrestling around.

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Speaker 3: Like I mean, they very well.

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Speaker 1: Good, but it's not like the fighting isn't like they

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Speaker 1: were when they were like seven and nine, or you know,

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Speaker 1: they weren't like they were just at each other and

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Speaker 1: now it's a little more like.

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Speaker 3: It's just verbal barbs.

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Speaker 1: You know, they they'll kind of throw or whatever, and

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Speaker 1: like they'll argue or maybe adorable slam, but nothing crazy.

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Speaker 3: And I'm like, you.

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Speaker 1: Guys, gotta figure this out, because yeah, you do you

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Speaker 1: get as a parent. You're like, I'm tired, I don't.

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Speaker 1: And you also realized losing battle. True, they just want

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Speaker 1: to they want to pick at each other.

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Speaker 2: They have to argue it out. Yeah, they want to

349
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Speaker 2: pick pick at each other and argue it out. Okay,

350
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Speaker 2: then figure it out, you know.

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Speaker 1: I find conflict resolution for the kids with friends is

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Speaker 1: always the you know, it's the place you want to

353
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Speaker 1: jump in because it's like some other kid.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you can't parent the other kids, right, right, so

355
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Speaker 2: you don't know, you gotta you gotta, Well, first you

356
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Speaker 2: have to figure out you have to put the filter on.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, okay, am I hearing about this through the

358
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Speaker 2: felicity filter, which like I didn't do anything wrong? I

359
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Speaker 2: didn't you huh okay, so okay, what did you do?

360
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Speaker 2: That may be added?

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Speaker 3: What's the situation? Right?

362
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Speaker 2: Right? So yeah, it's yeah, conflict resolution with friends is

363
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Speaker 2: way harder than than sibling conflict. I'm like, right, you'll

364
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Speaker 2: eventually love each other and get along.

365
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Speaker 3: You know.

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Speaker 2: It's the same way with me and my brothers.

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Speaker 3: So did you have a lot of conflict with your

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Speaker 3: brothers growing out?

369
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Speaker 2: Oh, my god, all the time, all the time. Well,

370
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Speaker 2: my my my brothers are a bit older. My brothers

371
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Speaker 2: are five years older than me and seven years older

372
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Speaker 2: than me. So there were times when like they weren't

373
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Speaker 2: Like I was almost an only child at one point

374
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Speaker 2: for like the high school years. But then Darren moved

375
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Speaker 2: back home when he was in law school to save money,

376
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Speaker 2: and so we were he was like an adult and

377
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Speaker 2: I was high schooler. We were sharing the same bathroom, oh,

378
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Speaker 2: and sharing the same laundry room everything. And he's just like, great,

379
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Speaker 2: you took all the hot water. Why do you get

380
00:17:21,359 --> 00:17:23,160
Speaker 2: in the shower right before I need it? You got

381
00:17:23,160 --> 00:17:26,440
Speaker 2: to move your your clothes laundry machines. I still talk

382
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Speaker 2: about it to this day. And my parents were just

383
00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:30,600
Speaker 2: like you figure it out, like you know, figure out, yeah,

384
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Speaker 2: this is you have to do laundry. You know, one

385
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:34,199
Speaker 2: of you does laundry on Sundays, the other one does

386
00:17:34,280 --> 00:17:36,760
Speaker 2: laundry on Friday nights or whatever, right, and then work

387
00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:38,679
Speaker 2: out a bathroom schedule. You both have to get up

388
00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:41,160
Speaker 2: at the same time. You have to figure out who

389
00:17:41,200 --> 00:17:44,640
Speaker 2: gets to shower first. So we're still arguing about it now,

390
00:17:44,680 --> 00:17:45,840
Speaker 2: but now we can laugh about it.

391
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:47,680
Speaker 3: But right now you can laugh about it. But yeah,

392
00:17:47,680 --> 00:17:47,959
Speaker 3: it is.

393
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Speaker 1: It's like at some point you just kind of gotta go.

394
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Speaker 1: You're gonna have to figure this out. And yeah, mom,

395
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Speaker 1: nagging you is not working anymore. Yeah, yeah, because then

396
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Speaker 1: it just we become the you know.

397
00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:03,439
Speaker 2: It's white noise. It is totally white noise. Agreed.

398
00:18:04,119 --> 00:18:06,520
Speaker 1: All right, Well, let's see what's next up on Danny

399
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Speaker 1: Tanner's life lessons list here.

400
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,840
Speaker 3: Uh oh, this is a good one.

401
00:18:10,960 --> 00:18:11,360
Speaker 2: Okay.

402
00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:14,440
Speaker 3: It's important to make time for yourself too.

403
00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:18,000
Speaker 2: Oh heck yeah, self care, baby.

404
00:18:17,880 --> 00:18:21,800
Speaker 1: Yes, and self care doesn't necessarily look like, you know,

405
00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:25,359
Speaker 1: a vacation all the time or a spa weekend or whatever.

406
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:28,600
Speaker 1: It can be ten minutes sitting in your car listening

407
00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:31,080
Speaker 1: to your favorite song before you walk in the house.

408
00:18:31,480 --> 00:18:33,359
Speaker 2: That's a great one. That's a really good one.

409
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:36,160
Speaker 1: Or ten minutes meditating in your car before you walk

410
00:18:36,160 --> 00:18:37,880
Speaker 1: in the house, and that many times.

411
00:18:38,040 --> 00:18:42,399
Speaker 2: Oh, got to reset for yourself before going into battle

412
00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:45,400
Speaker 2: to see what's at home, waiting for you.

413
00:18:45,600 --> 00:18:48,520
Speaker 1: I mean right, like that transition time from like maybe

414
00:18:48,520 --> 00:18:50,359
Speaker 1: coming home from work or doing something and then like

415
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:52,240
Speaker 1: walking in the house. Sometimes you just need a minute.

416
00:18:52,240 --> 00:18:56,360
Speaker 1: And that taking those five and ten minute moments for yourself,

417
00:18:56,680 --> 00:19:00,400
Speaker 1: I find to be just as important as taking an

418
00:19:00,400 --> 00:19:01,520
Speaker 1: afternoon where you're.

419
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:03,280
Speaker 3: Like, guess what Mom's off Like I'm not.

420
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:06,879
Speaker 1: I'm responding to nothing, those little ten minute things or

421
00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:09,480
Speaker 1: you know, saying like hey, this is something that brings me.

422
00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:11,000
Speaker 3: Joy that I'm gonna do for myself.

423
00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:14,120
Speaker 1: It's very important and it makes you a much more

424
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Speaker 1: balanced experience patient.

425
00:19:17,119 --> 00:19:21,199
Speaker 2: Yeah, understanding, Yeah, my self care is I love to

426
00:19:21,240 --> 00:19:23,920
Speaker 2: take my baths at night, you know, because I've I've

427
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:25,479
Speaker 2: facetiped you from my bathroom.

428
00:19:25,560 --> 00:19:29,280
Speaker 3: Yes, yes, oh yeah, yep, I've yep yep.

429
00:19:29,480 --> 00:19:31,400
Speaker 2: Which sounds weird, but whatever, it's weird.

430
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:32,040
Speaker 3: No, no, it's not.

431
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:35,280
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not weird. Bubbles are overcovered, you know, it's yes,

432
00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:36,560
Speaker 1: exactly weird.

433
00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:39,920
Speaker 2: But yeah, I find myself and they're like, why do

434
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,720
Speaker 2: you like taking baths every night? And I'm like, well,

435
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,400
Speaker 2: partially because I just shut and locked the door because.

436
00:19:44,359 --> 00:19:47,480
Speaker 1: Nobody is gonna come and bother me when I'm naked

437
00:19:47,520 --> 00:19:49,520
Speaker 1: in a bathtub and nobody, I mean.

438
00:19:49,400 --> 00:19:52,080
Speaker 3: They're not toddlers right at this point. Now they're like horrified,

439
00:19:52,240 --> 00:19:56,280
Speaker 3: like oh God, yes, I'm naked in the bathtub and

440
00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:57,159
Speaker 3: they're like, ah.

441
00:19:57,160 --> 00:20:00,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so great. But yeah know it's just it's

442
00:20:00,920 --> 00:20:02,880
Speaker 2: a great way to just relax and do you compress,

443
00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:06,040
Speaker 2: and nobody talk to me for these twenty minutes or whatever.

444
00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:09,600
Speaker 1: Water is so healing. I yep, I also have a

445
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:10,600
Speaker 1: little I got my.

446
00:20:10,560 --> 00:20:11,400
Speaker 3: Little bath tray.

447
00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:13,639
Speaker 1: I'll take a book in there, put my jazz on.

448
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:18,160
Speaker 1: Now I've been seeing this whole uh bathroom e lait

449
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:22,680
Speaker 1: like light trend. Apparently really we're like like a shower light. Oh,

450
00:20:22,920 --> 00:20:25,200
Speaker 1: like a little wireless lamp that's like a touch thing

451
00:20:25,240 --> 00:20:27,680
Speaker 1: and it's like a dim little night light lamp. People

452
00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:29,600
Speaker 1: are like putting them in their showers.

453
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,320
Speaker 2: Mood lighting for your shower.

454
00:20:31,800 --> 00:20:34,240
Speaker 1: People that they're like, look look at me, create my

455
00:20:34,280 --> 00:20:36,240
Speaker 1: perfect bath and there. You know, it's like a you

456
00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:39,879
Speaker 1: got a lamp and a and a eucalyptus sprig and

457
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:40,399
Speaker 1: all this stuff.

458
00:20:40,400 --> 00:20:43,200
Speaker 2: But hey, I've heard of the eucalyptus sprigs. Yeah, there's that.

459
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:46,520
Speaker 2: That's definitely a thing. They're aromatics, but yeah, you know

460
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:47,280
Speaker 2: what I noticed.

461
00:20:47,400 --> 00:20:50,720
Speaker 1: Actually that's an example of this important to make time

462
00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:54,240
Speaker 1: for yourself too. There's an episode that we watched recently

463
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:59,639
Speaker 1: where I think, I think Danny maybe says hey to

464
00:20:59,760 --> 00:21:03,200
Speaker 1: joe when they're with the Friendship episode between Danny and Joey,

465
00:21:03,320 --> 00:21:06,040
Speaker 1: and he says, Hey, it's Jesse's night to watch the kids.

466
00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:08,720
Speaker 3: Do you want to go do something else?

467
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:12,840
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh, okay, So this is implying that,

468
00:21:12,960 --> 00:21:15,359
Speaker 1: like the guys sort of have an agreement that hey,

469
00:21:16,119 --> 00:21:19,520
Speaker 1: one night a week one of us will watch the

470
00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:22,960
Speaker 1: kids and whatever while the other two get to go

471
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:26,880
Speaker 1: do something or you know, kind of. I think that's

472
00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:32,159
Speaker 1: so valuable, super valuable. I think all parents, if you know,

473
00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:34,880
Speaker 1: I mean, and sometimes obviously you can't do it, yeah,

474
00:21:35,680 --> 00:21:38,280
Speaker 1: but if you you know, if you can even every

475
00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:40,720
Speaker 1: once in a while, like it's super important to allow

476
00:21:41,520 --> 00:21:43,760
Speaker 1: one or the other parent, especially if one or the

477
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:46,320
Speaker 1: other parent is taking care of the kids a lot more,

478
00:21:46,400 --> 00:21:49,320
Speaker 1: to be like, hey, you you get like an afternoon

479
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:50,000
Speaker 1: to yourself.

480
00:21:50,160 --> 00:21:52,520
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, yes, that's right. That did. We did

481
00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:55,840
Speaker 2: just review that recently. That is a form of self care.

482
00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:58,840
Speaker 3: And they think they were They went and played basketball.

483
00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:00,600
Speaker 2: And yeah, before Danny threw it, but yeah, I know

484
00:22:00,680 --> 00:22:03,520
Speaker 2: that that was their former self left so just oh

485
00:22:03,640 --> 00:22:07,520
Speaker 2: his mom way Irene, grandma Irene watching the.

486
00:22:08,640 --> 00:22:10,760
Speaker 1: But but I do think I think that's a really

487
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:14,040
Speaker 1: important one. And and you know, in a family that

488
00:22:14,480 --> 00:22:17,399
Speaker 1: there's seventeen people living in one house, it's very important

489
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:17,840
Speaker 1: to take some.

490
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:19,879
Speaker 3: Time for yourself. There's just no quiet, although not in

491
00:22:19,880 --> 00:22:22,199
Speaker 3: the bathroom because you'll have eight more people that need

492
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:22,800
Speaker 3: to use it, so.

493
00:22:23,080 --> 00:22:25,400
Speaker 2: There's only one. There's only one in the whole full house.

494
00:22:25,520 --> 00:22:25,880
Speaker 3: That's it.

495
00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:30,960
Speaker 2: So yeah, and the website uses example for Danny. Danny's

496
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,480
Speaker 2: self care is quiet cleaning time.

497
00:22:33,760 --> 00:22:35,480
Speaker 3: Yes, quiet cleaning time.

498
00:22:35,720 --> 00:22:39,239
Speaker 1: It's yeah, hey, you know it's buffing and polishing, it's

499
00:22:39,320 --> 00:22:42,159
Speaker 1: cleaning the grout is what his mee time is.

500
00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:45,800
Speaker 2: Hey, whatever floats your boat, that's the Sometimes that's what

501
00:22:45,840 --> 00:22:48,160
Speaker 2: you need is just to clean get all your aggression

502
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:52,200
Speaker 2: out through that crowd. Yeah, okay, moving on number six.

503
00:22:53,200 --> 00:22:56,320
Speaker 2: There's nothing that a hug can't help.

504
00:22:57,280 --> 00:22:57,560
Speaker 3: Yep.

505
00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,520
Speaker 2: And there's no example because there's a hug in basically

506
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:01,200
Speaker 2: every episode.

507
00:23:01,280 --> 00:23:04,000
Speaker 3: So and I mean it's pretty self explanatory.

508
00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:06,040
Speaker 2: Huh. I don't know, I feel this one was a

509
00:23:06,040 --> 00:23:10,200
Speaker 2: little Pollyanna for me. I'm like, I mean it's yeah, it's.

510
00:23:10,160 --> 00:23:12,560
Speaker 3: What if you don't like human touch.

511
00:23:13,320 --> 00:23:15,840
Speaker 2: Yes, And that's the other thing, like I was thinking of,

512
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:18,560
Speaker 2: like making your kids hug, Like, oh, you've been fighting,

513
00:23:18,600 --> 00:23:19,760
Speaker 2: make your kids hug each other.

514
00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:20,760
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't like that.

515
00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:21,679
Speaker 2: I don't like that.

516
00:23:21,720 --> 00:23:24,080
Speaker 1: Although it's funny when you see it, like they're like

517
00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:26,439
Speaker 1: the in the same gigantic shirt or whatever, and you're like,

518
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:30,840
Speaker 1: they have to get along. But there, you know, sometimes

519
00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:32,280
Speaker 1: I here's what I would say.

520
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:35,080
Speaker 3: I'd say that there's an asterisk here at the end.

521
00:23:35,600 --> 00:23:39,960
Speaker 1: There's nothing that a hug can't help asterisk when the

522
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:40,880
Speaker 1: time is right.

523
00:23:41,280 --> 00:23:44,640
Speaker 2: Okay, yes, when it's consensual and when the time is.

524
00:23:44,640 --> 00:23:48,160
Speaker 1: Right, when the time is right and both parties are

525
00:23:48,440 --> 00:23:53,400
Speaker 1: like a physical affection is something that would be helpful.

526
00:23:53,920 --> 00:23:57,800
Speaker 1: I think that's absolutely true that a hug it releases oxytocin.

527
00:23:58,080 --> 00:23:58,560
Speaker 2: That's true.

528
00:23:58,760 --> 00:24:03,480
Speaker 1: It's a chemical boost. It's a good way to you know,

529
00:24:03,560 --> 00:24:06,560
Speaker 1: create a bond with someone. But I will say I'm

530
00:24:06,560 --> 00:24:09,520
Speaker 1: one of those people that might not always want to

531
00:24:09,520 --> 00:24:09,960
Speaker 1: be hugged.

532
00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:12,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, you've got it has to be the right time,

533
00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:15,520
Speaker 2: in the right place, and you also have to pay

534
00:24:15,560 --> 00:24:18,879
Speaker 2: attention to other people's cues, like Jesse is not his

535
00:24:18,960 --> 00:24:20,760
Speaker 2: love language is not hugging.

536
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:21,600
Speaker 3: He's not a hugger.

537
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,400
Speaker 2: He's not a hugger, but Danny is. So sometimes Jesse

538
00:24:24,520 --> 00:24:27,520
Speaker 2: will placate Danny because he knows that Danny just needs

539
00:24:27,560 --> 00:24:30,119
Speaker 2: a hug. But that's not going to solve Jesse's problems.

540
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:32,240
Speaker 2: Jesse needs to talk it out. Jesse needs to come

541
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,680
Speaker 2: to realizations on his own and talk it out. So

542
00:24:34,760 --> 00:24:37,760
Speaker 2: talking is important, and a hug can help if you've

543
00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:40,320
Speaker 2: already talked to it, if it's the right time, and

544
00:24:40,359 --> 00:24:42,800
Speaker 2: if it's the right time, Yeah, it's the right time. Okay.

545
00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:44,960
Speaker 2: So this is a lesson with an asterisk.

546
00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:47,359
Speaker 3: Yes, it's a Yeah, it's a it's a lesson with

547
00:24:47,400 --> 00:24:48,040
Speaker 3: a caveat.

548
00:24:48,320 --> 00:24:53,239
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, okay, got it right? Uh you, I don't know,

549
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:55,119
Speaker 2: I don't know. I can remember you take it.

550
00:24:55,480 --> 00:24:57,320
Speaker 3: I'll take it. Uh seven.

551
00:24:58,359 --> 00:25:01,680
Speaker 1: Always let your children know how valuable they are.

552
00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:06,639
Speaker 2: And the examples our DJ doesn't feel pretty enough, Stephanie's

553
00:25:06,640 --> 00:25:09,880
Speaker 2: insecure about her glasses, and Michelle wants to play boy

554
00:25:10,000 --> 00:25:14,000
Speaker 2: activities and gets made fun of in later seasons.

555
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:14,679
Speaker 3: Got it?

556
00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:18,280
Speaker 2: So, yeah, this is a big one self worth. Teaching

557
00:25:18,320 --> 00:25:22,439
Speaker 2: your kids that, yeah, self worth is important and you

558
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:24,440
Speaker 2: love them just the way they are. It doesn't matter

559
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:27,159
Speaker 2: if you wearing glasses or you don't feel pretty that day, whatever,

560
00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:29,240
Speaker 2: you are special just the way.

561
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:34,960
Speaker 1: Well that your value, that you have value, inherent value,

562
00:25:35,200 --> 00:25:40,000
Speaker 1: no matter what inherent value on the inside. Yes, your

563
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:43,040
Speaker 1: value isn't how you look person. Your value isn't how

564
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:45,600
Speaker 1: you look is It isn't what you can give. It

565
00:25:45,760 --> 00:25:49,000
Speaker 1: isn't not what you wear, what you wear, or how

566
00:25:49,080 --> 00:25:51,960
Speaker 1: much money you have that your Let your children know

567
00:25:52,520 --> 00:25:56,880
Speaker 1: their inherent value just being present.

568
00:25:57,640 --> 00:25:58,800
Speaker 2: That's that big enough.

569
00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:00,000
Speaker 3: It is a big one.

570
00:26:00,119 --> 00:26:02,520
Speaker 2: That's a really big one. I like it lesson a

571
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:05,560
Speaker 2: lot and it's not easy to teach either. No, they

572
00:26:05,600 --> 00:26:08,520
Speaker 2: have to come to a lot of self actualization themselves.

573
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:11,240
Speaker 1: I think this is I think this is a lesson

574
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:15,720
Speaker 1: that I would even say, always let your family know

575
00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:18,080
Speaker 1: how valuable they are. Like it's not even just kids,

576
00:26:18,359 --> 00:26:22,320
Speaker 1: you know, I think let adults in your life know

577
00:26:22,440 --> 00:26:25,320
Speaker 1: how valuable they are, Know that you're they're appreciated, know

578
00:26:25,560 --> 00:26:26,760
Speaker 1: that they.

579
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:27,520
Speaker 3: Don't have to you know.

580
00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:29,520
Speaker 1: And I feel like I see this in the show

581
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:32,800
Speaker 1: with amongst the guys sometimes too, like, hey man, it's

582
00:26:32,840 --> 00:26:35,360
Speaker 1: not you know, I don't care what you can, what

583
00:26:35,400 --> 00:26:38,080
Speaker 1: you're bringing, or what you're you know, it's not about that.

584
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:40,119
Speaker 3: It's about that I love you as part of my

585
00:26:40,160 --> 00:26:41,240
Speaker 3: family or my friend.

586
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:42,200
Speaker 2: Yeah.

587
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:45,400
Speaker 1: I think this is definitely a lesson that we hit

588
00:26:45,480 --> 00:26:48,400
Speaker 1: home a lot in the show with you know, and yeah,

589
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:50,520
Speaker 1: like teaching the kids. You know, so what do you

590
00:26:50,560 --> 00:26:54,040
Speaker 1: wear glasses? It doesn't matter if it's this. You are

591
00:26:54,080 --> 00:26:56,560
Speaker 1: important for many many other things.

592
00:26:56,800 --> 00:27:00,439
Speaker 2: This is a universal lesson for all ages, all unders,

593
00:27:00,600 --> 00:27:03,639
Speaker 2: all everything is that, Yeah, you need to That's so

594
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:06,520
Speaker 2: important because it's easy to be down on yourself and

595
00:27:06,560 --> 00:27:09,240
Speaker 2: to criticize yourself, and you know, it's so easy to

596
00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:12,280
Speaker 2: fall into that that vortex, that whole ough.

597
00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:13,160
Speaker 3: Yeah.

598
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:15,840
Speaker 2: So yeah, no, it's important. It's important for children, equally

599
00:27:15,880 --> 00:27:29,439
Speaker 2: important for adults too. Yeah, very good. Yeah, you're important. Okay.

600
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:34,280
Speaker 2: Number eight, it's important to have fun with your kids.

601
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:37,480
Speaker 2: And the example is Danny being involved with the Honeybee

602
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:40,160
Speaker 2: troop and he's ridiculous dad puns.

603
00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:43,440
Speaker 3: The dad jokes are strong with Danny.

604
00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:44,760
Speaker 2: Dad, the dad jokes are very strong.

605
00:27:45,040 --> 00:27:45,200
Speaker 3: Yeah.

606
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:47,760
Speaker 2: I think this is a good one too. And my

607
00:27:47,760 --> 00:27:50,800
Speaker 2: my therapist talks about this a lot, because it's so

608
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:53,480
Speaker 2: easy to get up in the transactional side of parenting,

609
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:55,600
Speaker 2: where it's like did you do your homework and did

610
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:57,639
Speaker 2: you make your bed and did you do and my

611
00:27:57,680 --> 00:27:59,640
Speaker 2: therapist is like, okay, stop, you have to stop being

612
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:03,480
Speaker 2: the trans actional parent for once and just have fun,

613
00:28:03,680 --> 00:28:07,000
Speaker 2: like let your hair down, go see a movie, you know,

614
00:28:07,119 --> 00:28:10,359
Speaker 2: go kick the soccer ball around, whatever it is, have

615
00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:12,360
Speaker 2: fun with your kids. It's so easy to forget when

616
00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:14,440
Speaker 2: you're I'm like a checklist, a check.

617
00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:16,320
Speaker 1: I'm too, I'm a check Did you do the thing

618
00:28:16,359 --> 00:28:20,200
Speaker 1: and the thing and the thing and the thing and yeah.

619
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:22,679
Speaker 1: I learned that lesson with Zoe when we went to

620
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:26,119
Speaker 1: Disneyland for her birthday. Was it was, you know, putting

621
00:28:26,119 --> 00:28:29,159
Speaker 1: aside that transactional parenting of did you do all of

622
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:30,880
Speaker 1: the things that I need you to do for your

623
00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:33,840
Speaker 1: sort of you know life stuff.

624
00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:36,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, but this was just pure fun.

625
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:36,919
Speaker 3: Let's have fun.

626
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:39,760
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's you just feel like a boss sometimes, like

627
00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:43,000
Speaker 2: it's like, no, your relationship is way deeper than yeah,

628
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:45,720
Speaker 2: than just being your boss or your manager, you know,

629
00:28:45,760 --> 00:28:47,040
Speaker 2: the house manager, or.

630
00:28:47,080 --> 00:28:49,520
Speaker 1: Just right and freaking out over all the cups in

631
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:54,680
Speaker 1: your room, right, the cup collector. Yeah, I've made the

632
00:28:54,760 --> 00:28:57,440
Speaker 1: joke one time that it was like like the movie

633
00:28:57,560 --> 00:29:00,800
Speaker 1: Signs in their Room, But I don't nobody really got it.

634
00:29:00,840 --> 00:29:02,680
Speaker 2: Can you remember the movie Signs Signs?

635
00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:04,440
Speaker 3: Oh, well, this is there we go.

636
00:29:04,760 --> 00:29:07,600
Speaker 2: It's also ask what do they doing science?

637
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:10,080
Speaker 1: In Signs, it's about the aliens and the little the

638
00:29:10,680 --> 00:29:14,040
Speaker 1: girl is always leaving these cups of water around the

639
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:17,160
Speaker 1: house and it drives her dad crazy. But then come

640
00:29:17,200 --> 00:29:19,040
Speaker 1: to find out at the end of the movie, the

641
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:21,960
Speaker 1: aliens if you throw water on them that they can't

642
00:29:22,200 --> 00:29:25,480
Speaker 1: get wet. Oh, so all of a sudden, all of

643
00:29:25,520 --> 00:29:28,440
Speaker 1: those cups of water become very handy all over the place.

644
00:29:28,680 --> 00:29:29,680
Speaker 2: It's like self defense.

645
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:32,760
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, but nobody knew obviously that it was going

646
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:34,720
Speaker 1: to be that until anyway.

647
00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:36,960
Speaker 2: That's a dark twist like that is I'm not surprised

648
00:29:36,960 --> 00:29:39,040
Speaker 2: this is where you're going. Your brain has gone here.

649
00:29:39,120 --> 00:29:41,560
Speaker 1: Oh it's just walk in there and there's seventeen half

650
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:43,000
Speaker 1: empty cups of various liquids.

651
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:44,840
Speaker 3: I'm like, what are we waiting for? The alien invasion?

652
00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 3: Just in case?

653
00:29:45,920 --> 00:29:49,680
Speaker 2: You know, the kids have clearly watched that movie over

654
00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:50,080
Speaker 2: and over.

655
00:29:50,600 --> 00:29:52,400
Speaker 1: No, they're like what are you talking about, old woman?

656
00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:56,920
Speaker 1: But no, it's like having fun and just being silly

657
00:29:57,120 --> 00:30:00,240
Speaker 1: is And I find outside of the house sometimes too, like.

658
00:30:00,200 --> 00:30:01,960
Speaker 2: Oh, you gotta get it's easier to.

659
00:30:02,160 --> 00:30:07,040
Speaker 1: Like have fun with them away from the home base.

660
00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:10,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, cause all I'm so guilty of this. When I'm

661
00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:12,160
Speaker 2: in the house, all I see are things that they

662
00:30:12,160 --> 00:30:14,800
Speaker 2: need to be to be done. Yeah, I'm like, no,

663
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:16,560
Speaker 2: get me out of here, Like I don't want to

664
00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:18,440
Speaker 2: look at I walk in the door and might be done.

665
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:20,440
Speaker 3: There's dishes in the seak and this needs to Did

666
00:30:20,480 --> 00:30:21,800
Speaker 3: you get the laundry? Did you do the thing?

667
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:22,040
Speaker 1: Did you?

668
00:30:22,560 --> 00:30:25,240
Speaker 2: Uh? Yeah? No, I'm very guilty of the being like

669
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:28,400
Speaker 2: just and nobody else. Is everyone blind to this? They

670
00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:29,920
Speaker 2: don't see it. Like there's a piece of trash on

671
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:32,320
Speaker 2: the floor for like two days, and I'm like, does

672
00:30:32,400 --> 00:30:35,400
Speaker 2: nobody see this? Does nobody want to pick this up

673
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:35,920
Speaker 2: and put.

674
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:37,560
Speaker 3: It in the trash because they know that you'll do

675
00:30:37,600 --> 00:30:38,560
Speaker 3: it once you forget all this.

676
00:30:38,800 --> 00:30:41,760
Speaker 2: I know it's a vicious cycle, such a vicious cycle,

677
00:30:41,800 --> 00:30:44,080
Speaker 2: but yeah, have fun, have fun outside, have fun.

678
00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:45,760
Speaker 1: Do you know what next time plays soccer with that

679
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:47,640
Speaker 1: piece of paper on the floor and just be like, hey,

680
00:30:47,960 --> 00:30:49,320
Speaker 1: then start kicking it around the house.

681
00:30:49,800 --> 00:30:51,600
Speaker 2: See how it goes. It's a game who can get

682
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:53,040
Speaker 2: it in the trash first.

683
00:30:53,600 --> 00:30:55,600
Speaker 3: Right, and they're just be like, mom, what's wrong with you?

684
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:56,840
Speaker 2: That works when we were two?

685
00:30:57,120 --> 00:31:03,360
Speaker 1: But right, yeah, exactly, yeah, clean up cleaning, shut up women.

686
00:31:05,400 --> 00:31:06,000
Speaker 3: Number nine.

687
00:31:06,320 --> 00:31:09,240
Speaker 1: Okay, I will say I struggle with this, well, not

688
00:31:09,280 --> 00:31:11,800
Speaker 1: really sometimes, but here.

689
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:14,520
Speaker 3: It is it's okay to get.

690
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:19,920
Speaker 2: Tough sometimes sometimes. Whoever wrote this does not have teenagers

691
00:31:19,960 --> 00:31:23,000
Speaker 2: like you have to be tough all the time. You

692
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:24,560
Speaker 2: have to be consistently tough.

693
00:31:24,840 --> 00:31:28,280
Speaker 3: I that's when I'm live. That's what happened.

694
00:31:28,320 --> 00:31:29,200
Speaker 2: I just it's hard.

695
00:31:29,280 --> 00:31:30,000
Speaker 3: They'll wear me down.

696
00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:32,920
Speaker 2: They know how to wear you down. It's it's so true.

697
00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:33,720
Speaker 2: And sometimes you.

698
00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:36,640
Speaker 3: Just like they wear you down, and they they they

699
00:31:36,680 --> 00:31:37,720
Speaker 3: pick a time at the end.

700
00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:39,760
Speaker 2: Of the day, usually to where you do because at

701
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:41,040
Speaker 2: ten o'clock you're trying to go to bed.

702
00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:45,480
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and they're just starting the evening and you're like, oh, yeah, fine, fine,

703
00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:48,880
Speaker 1: go way. But having to get tough, Oh, it's the

704
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:53,400
Speaker 1: hardest thing. What are did they give examples for this one?

705
00:31:53,640 --> 00:31:55,160
Speaker 2: They did not give any examples. I do.

706
00:31:55,400 --> 00:31:58,400
Speaker 1: I feel like there were well, I feel like we

707
00:31:58,440 --> 00:32:00,760
Speaker 1: had that whole episode about Joey getting tough with the

708
00:32:00,840 --> 00:32:01,360
Speaker 1: karate too.

709
00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:04,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's the whole that was named Joey gets tough.

710
00:32:04,600 --> 00:32:06,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, Joey gets tough. And that was one where we

711
00:32:06,840 --> 00:32:07,480
Speaker 1: went a little that.

712
00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:10,960
Speaker 2: Was too tough, right because she had to miss an

713
00:32:11,000 --> 00:32:14,280
Speaker 2: extracurricular commitment and you're like, you're letting the whole, the

714
00:32:14,280 --> 00:32:17,000
Speaker 2: whole dojo down. Yeah, that's right, but but it is.

715
00:32:18,360 --> 00:32:21,760
Speaker 1: It's the worst when you're like, if you don't do this,

716
00:32:21,920 --> 00:32:24,200
Speaker 1: you're not going to get to do this. Yeah, and

717
00:32:24,240 --> 00:32:27,440
Speaker 1: then when they don't do the thing, it's really hard

718
00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:29,000
Speaker 1: to be like, well, now we're not getting to do this.

719
00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:32,320
Speaker 2: But it's the only currency. It's the only currency you have,

720
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:35,040
Speaker 2: Like you have. This is how this is how I parent.

721
00:32:35,120 --> 00:32:37,200
Speaker 2: I say, if you don't do this, you can't. Now

722
00:32:37,240 --> 00:32:40,440
Speaker 2: it's now that Felicity's driving. It's the car that's the right. Well,

723
00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:42,760
Speaker 2: that's the best part of our driving. You can't use

724
00:32:42,800 --> 00:32:44,680
Speaker 2: the car if you don't do the things you were

725
00:32:44,680 --> 00:32:47,080
Speaker 2: supposed to do. So that's easy. I just take the key.

726
00:32:47,120 --> 00:32:49,840
Speaker 2: That's like, it's fantastic. This is once they start driving,

727
00:32:49,880 --> 00:32:51,080
Speaker 2: your life becomes much true.

728
00:32:52,040 --> 00:32:55,040
Speaker 1: Once you have something that's like a valuable you know,

729
00:32:56,000 --> 00:32:59,760
Speaker 1: going out with friends or whatever, the phone there, whatever

730
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:03,160
Speaker 1: they're currency is, it's sometimes you've got to get tough

731
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:05,800
Speaker 1: and you' it's and I it's hard.

732
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:07,920
Speaker 2: And it's hard. I'm going to go back to the

733
00:33:08,000 --> 00:33:11,280
Speaker 2: whole divorce thing too. It's hard as a single parent.

734
00:33:11,360 --> 00:33:14,920
Speaker 2: Well not like you're recoupled. I'm recoupled. So yeah, we

735
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:17,000
Speaker 2: have partner, We have partners who are helping us parents,

736
00:33:17,000 --> 00:33:19,080
Speaker 2: but it's still not the same because like you're the

737
00:33:19,120 --> 00:33:22,560
Speaker 2: primary parent in the house and they know it, and

738
00:33:22,600 --> 00:33:25,479
Speaker 2: so they are going to wear you down knowing that

739
00:33:25,520 --> 00:33:28,640
Speaker 2: you can't just like throw the football to the the dead,

740
00:33:28,840 --> 00:33:30,600
Speaker 2: you know, it's like, no, it's all on you. So

741
00:33:30,680 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 2: it's it's even harder in a split home situation like

742
00:33:33,800 --> 00:33:36,560
Speaker 2: that because they know if they just keep pecking, you

743
00:33:36,560 --> 00:33:38,320
Speaker 2: feel like you're pecked to death by hens.

744
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:41,360
Speaker 1: But my mom used to say that being that being

745
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:43,800
Speaker 1: a parent is like being pecked to death by ducks

746
00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:47,239
Speaker 1: because ducks have a round bill, so it doesn't it's

747
00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:49,400
Speaker 1: not like a hen where it really hurts and kills you.

748
00:33:49,480 --> 00:33:51,280
Speaker 2: It's just this dull pecking.

749
00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:57,080
Speaker 1: Just think, Yeah, a.

750
00:33:57,120 --> 00:33:59,280
Speaker 2: Duck pecking you to death and five hours later you

751
00:33:59,360 --> 00:34:00,720
Speaker 2: have a bruise that will never go away.

752
00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:02,440
Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly right, And that's right.

753
00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:04,080
Speaker 1: And I was, and I didn't get it when I

754
00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:06,360
Speaker 1: was again, and I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah, because it's

755
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:08,239
Speaker 1: not you know, it's not like ow.

756
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:12,800
Speaker 2: It's just like a dull adult annoys dull pecking of

757
00:34:12,800 --> 00:34:16,480
Speaker 2: a doctor. Janice Sweeten speaks the truth, man, Chance sweet

758
00:34:16,520 --> 00:34:17,719
Speaker 2: And was right about everything.

759
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:22,360
Speaker 1: Man, you know she really was. Uh, she'll hear that

760
00:34:22,400 --> 00:34:24,600
Speaker 1: when she gets to this episode because she's just started listening.

761
00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:25,560
Speaker 3: But but yeah, you were.

762
00:34:25,600 --> 00:34:28,920
Speaker 1: You were right about a lot of right about everything. Well,

763
00:34:29,000 --> 00:34:31,359
Speaker 1: it's a lot of things. I love you a lot

764
00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:31,720
Speaker 1: of things.

765
00:34:31,880 --> 00:34:32,880
Speaker 3: No, I'm just kidding.

766
00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:34,839
Speaker 1: You were right about mouth things. But it is it's

767
00:34:34,840 --> 00:34:37,000
Speaker 1: hard to get tough and hold those boundaries.

768
00:34:36,680 --> 00:34:39,759
Speaker 2: Yeah, being being because it's sometimes it's easier just to

769
00:34:39,800 --> 00:34:44,360
Speaker 2: give in. It's so much easier and less confrontational just

770
00:34:44,440 --> 00:34:46,279
Speaker 2: to give in. But once to give in, once they're

771
00:34:46,320 --> 00:34:48,239
Speaker 2: going to expect it the next time, and then it's

772
00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:49,560
Speaker 2: even harder to get back to.

773
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:52,239
Speaker 1: I will zero say the thing I struggle with though,

774
00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:54,840
Speaker 1: And sort of it's kind of like the Joey episode

775
00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:55,440
Speaker 1: where it's.

776
00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:57,600
Speaker 3: Like you.

777
00:34:56,719 --> 00:34:58,680
Speaker 1: Go, you get real tough, and you're like, all right,

778
00:34:58,719 --> 00:34:59,879
Speaker 1: that's and I'm holding the line.

779
00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:00,799
Speaker 3: I'm holding a line.

780
00:35:00,840 --> 00:35:02,799
Speaker 1: But then sometimes you have this moment where you go, wait,

781
00:35:04,239 --> 00:35:06,240
Speaker 1: why I'm being ridiculous?

782
00:35:06,239 --> 00:35:07,960
Speaker 2: Why am I doing? Why am I Why am I

783
00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:08,239
Speaker 2: doing it?

784
00:35:08,280 --> 00:35:09,279
Speaker 3: And that's the thing I like.

785
00:35:09,320 --> 00:35:12,960
Speaker 1: I often find that I will be like no, I remember,

786
00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:15,640
Speaker 1: and then I'm like, wait, yeah, what I just My

787
00:35:15,680 --> 00:35:17,480
Speaker 1: first response was I don't want to. It was more

788
00:35:17,520 --> 00:35:18,759
Speaker 1: that I don't I don't want to deal. I just

789
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:19,880
Speaker 1: don't want to do I don't want to make a

790
00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:21,120
Speaker 1: decision right now. I don't want to deal with it.

791
00:35:21,160 --> 00:35:21,640
Speaker 3: I don't want no.

792
00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:23,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know.

793
00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:26,719
Speaker 1: And then I'm like, but wait, that really it's not

794
00:35:26,840 --> 00:35:31,000
Speaker 1: that there's anything particularly that you know is preventing them

795
00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:32,520
Speaker 1: from doing it. It's just I'm like, I don't want to,

796
00:35:32,520 --> 00:35:33,640
Speaker 1: I don't want to drive, I don't deal.

797
00:35:33,640 --> 00:35:36,680
Speaker 3: I don't want to. And that that's hard.

798
00:35:36,480 --> 00:35:38,080
Speaker 1: Sometimes because then I feel like I go back and

799
00:35:38,120 --> 00:35:40,600
Speaker 1: I go, Okay, you know what, here's I was being unreasonable.

800
00:35:41,400 --> 00:35:43,640
Speaker 2: Yes, When your kids get older and they're able to like,

801
00:35:44,160 --> 00:35:47,080
Speaker 2: they're able to like they're like little lawyers like not

802
00:35:47,120 --> 00:35:49,400
Speaker 2: just negotiate, but they're really they can point out when

803
00:35:49,440 --> 00:35:51,520
Speaker 2: you're wrong and they're right about it too.

804
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:55,600
Speaker 1: It's like, yeah, no, it sucks and they find the loopholes. Yeah,

805
00:35:56,120 --> 00:35:59,040
Speaker 1: it's hard having smart kids. You know, it's really hard

806
00:35:59,080 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 1: having smarts.

807
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:04,920
Speaker 2: God bless her litigators of the top here. Yes, they

808
00:36:04,960 --> 00:36:05,560
Speaker 2: could ligate.

809
00:36:06,600 --> 00:36:09,480
Speaker 1: And you know, like three years ago when you let

810
00:36:09,520 --> 00:36:11,040
Speaker 1: my brother do blah blah blah blah.

811
00:36:10,880 --> 00:36:13,879
Speaker 2: Yeah, like the history remember from five years ago?

812
00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:15,359
Speaker 3: Yeah right, yeah, so.

813
00:36:15,280 --> 00:36:19,360
Speaker 1: They keep receipts for that stuff, not for any of

814
00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:20,280
Speaker 1: their own behavior.

815
00:36:20,560 --> 00:36:26,440
Speaker 2: Totally totally. Closing this out with number ten. Always be

816
00:36:26,600 --> 00:36:30,920
Speaker 2: emotionally available to help your children with their feelings. And

817
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:34,360
Speaker 2: the examples they give are the earthquake episode and the

818
00:36:34,400 --> 00:36:39,840
Speaker 2: episode when Papouli dies. Yeah, and letting children feel their feelings. Yeah,

819
00:36:40,040 --> 00:36:43,640
Speaker 2: this is Yeah, this is important. I feel like very important.

820
00:36:43,719 --> 00:36:46,439
Speaker 2: I excel at this. I am I am my kids.

821
00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:49,200
Speaker 2: I'm like they know they the dad's a disciplinarian, but

822
00:36:49,239 --> 00:36:51,000
Speaker 2: I am the I am the therapist that you come

823
00:36:51,040 --> 00:36:54,160
Speaker 2: to me. You can talk about anything, anything, and I

824
00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:56,880
Speaker 2: promise I won't get mad. Yes, but whatever you have

825
00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:58,560
Speaker 2: to say about how you messed up or how you

826
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:01,200
Speaker 2: straight up or how you feel whatever, like, yeah, got

827
00:37:01,200 --> 00:37:03,840
Speaker 2: to talk about it. That that's super served me. Well,

828
00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:07,399
Speaker 2: now that the kids are older, that they're making big mistakes, now,

829
00:37:07,440 --> 00:37:10,880
Speaker 2: you know, it's it's really important to be open.

830
00:37:10,920 --> 00:37:12,520
Speaker 3: That's super important.

831
00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:16,239
Speaker 1: And I think and it can be really hard because sometimes,

832
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:20,399
Speaker 1: you know, and I think we also as parents need

833
00:37:20,440 --> 00:37:23,799
Speaker 1: to be able to recognize the times when we're like, ah,

834
00:37:24,160 --> 00:37:26,680
Speaker 1: like I'm here for you right now. But like if

835
00:37:26,719 --> 00:37:28,640
Speaker 1: it's you know, a death in the family or something

836
00:37:28,719 --> 00:37:30,520
Speaker 1: like that, sometimes it can be really hard if you're

837
00:37:30,560 --> 00:37:33,400
Speaker 1: having your own emotions to go through stuff and sometimes

838
00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:37,200
Speaker 1: you know, you telling your kids like I'm also having

839
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:39,239
Speaker 1: some feelings about this, so like I you know, and

840
00:37:40,080 --> 00:37:42,080
Speaker 1: I know my kids and I when we've like gotten

841
00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:43,879
Speaker 1: in you know, maybe an argument or something like that,

842
00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:47,160
Speaker 1: sometimes taking a moment and going let's both give ourselves

843
00:37:47,160 --> 00:37:50,359
Speaker 1: a couple of minutes and like, let's just we'll come

844
00:37:50,400 --> 00:37:52,480
Speaker 1: back when we when we're both because it is it's

845
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:54,239
Speaker 1: so hard sometimes as a parent when you're going through

846
00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:57,520
Speaker 1: your own emotional roller coaster. I didn't think about that,

847
00:37:57,640 --> 00:38:01,120
Speaker 1: but you're right, put that aside and be available for

848
00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:04,520
Speaker 1: your kids. Feelings and to hold their space. And I

849
00:38:04,520 --> 00:38:07,640
Speaker 1: think it's just parents. We want to fix it, right,

850
00:38:07,719 --> 00:38:10,240
Speaker 1: Like I want to make my job as a parent

851
00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:14,319
Speaker 1: feels like to make you not cry or not make

852
00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:16,359
Speaker 1: you not cry, but just to stop you from crying,

853
00:38:16,400 --> 00:38:18,399
Speaker 1: to stop you from being upset and from being hurt.

854
00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:21,640
Speaker 1: And as they get older, you realize it's not My

855
00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:26,440
Speaker 1: job isn't to prevent it. It's to allow you to

856
00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:29,280
Speaker 1: figure out how you're going to get through it. Yeah,

857
00:38:29,520 --> 00:38:31,759
Speaker 1: and it sucks because I want to put a band

858
00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:33,640
Speaker 1: aid on it and be like, look, everything's better now,

859
00:38:34,480 --> 00:38:36,320
Speaker 1: But like that's not life.

860
00:38:36,520 --> 00:38:39,400
Speaker 2: It's important to not stuff those feelings away. It's important

861
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:42,520
Speaker 2: to feel them in order to get through them. If

862
00:38:42,560 --> 00:38:44,960
Speaker 2: you feel like crying, cry because guess what, you feel

863
00:38:44,960 --> 00:38:47,759
Speaker 2: better when you're done. But yeah, I didn't think about that.

864
00:38:47,800 --> 00:38:51,160
Speaker 2: I I'm reminded of when my mom was in hospice

865
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:53,600
Speaker 2: that last week of her life and the kids were

866
00:38:53,680 --> 00:38:55,360
Speaker 2: so like they couldn't come see her because it was

867
00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:57,400
Speaker 2: right in the middle of COVID and they were so anxious,

868
00:38:57,520 --> 00:38:59,719
Speaker 2: like what's going on? Where? Like what is she is?

869
00:38:59,719 --> 00:39:00,239
Speaker 2: She is?

870
00:39:00,320 --> 00:39:00,560
Speaker 3: She does?

871
00:39:00,600 --> 00:39:02,840
Speaker 2: And I'm like and I'm me right, I got to

872
00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:06,319
Speaker 2: put myself first because I'm watching my montor right, and

873
00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:08,920
Speaker 2: so I was That's when I had to rely on

874
00:39:08,920 --> 00:39:11,719
Speaker 2: my village, you know, or just like take And I

875
00:39:11,760 --> 00:39:13,320
Speaker 2: told their dad, I'm like, you got to take the

876
00:39:13,400 --> 00:39:16,680
Speaker 2: kids and just distract them or whatever comfort them anyway,

877
00:39:16,719 --> 00:39:18,719
Speaker 2: can't because I got to take care of me and

878
00:39:18,760 --> 00:39:21,560
Speaker 2: then try to take care That was the hardest thing, was, yeah,

879
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:24,520
Speaker 2: trying to manage my own emotions and not in the

880
00:39:24,560 --> 00:39:26,240
Speaker 2: kid's emotions too. Yeah.

881
00:39:26,440 --> 00:39:28,520
Speaker 1: And I feel like this really probably something that Danny

882
00:39:28,560 --> 00:39:29,919
Speaker 1: had to deal with with the loss of Pam.

883
00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:32,279
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, Yeah, it really is.

884
00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:35,440
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, but that but being you know, and and

885
00:39:35,680 --> 00:39:38,720
Speaker 1: we do see that in a couple of the episodes

886
00:39:38,719 --> 00:39:40,960
Speaker 1: when the girls start talking about well, we saw it

887
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:42,759
Speaker 1: in the I think the last episode that we did

888
00:39:42,800 --> 00:39:45,000
Speaker 1: with the one of the last episodes.

889
00:39:44,680 --> 00:39:47,160
Speaker 3: With the recap where they're all watching the family movies.

890
00:39:47,280 --> 00:39:51,800
Speaker 1: Oh gosh, yes, yeah, and that was a really great

891
00:39:51,840 --> 00:39:57,080
Speaker 1: example of I think the guys sort of realizing and

892
00:39:57,320 --> 00:39:59,200
Speaker 1: again they even say it like, oh wow, we didn't

893
00:39:59,239 --> 00:39:59,520
Speaker 1: want to.

894
00:39:59,480 --> 00:40:02,160
Speaker 3: Talk about it because we thought it would upset you.

895
00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:05,640
Speaker 1: But we see sort of the beauty of them all

896
00:40:05,640 --> 00:40:09,480
Speaker 1: being emotionally available to talk about all the good things

897
00:40:09,520 --> 00:40:12,160
Speaker 1: and all the memories and all that stuff and like that.

898
00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:14,680
Speaker 1: That was a really, I think beautiful example of this

899
00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:19,160
Speaker 1: lesson on the show about being emotionally available to do

900
00:40:19,239 --> 00:40:21,200
Speaker 1: your kids, to help them walk through stuff and to

901
00:40:21,480 --> 00:40:24,279
Speaker 1: recognize like, oh, wow, you know I thought I was

902
00:40:24,640 --> 00:40:27,200
Speaker 1: I was trying to help doing this, but maybe I wasn't.

903
00:40:27,280 --> 00:40:30,680
Speaker 3: And Okay, well let's let's talk about it now. You know,

904
00:40:31,040 --> 00:40:32,320
Speaker 3: it's never never.

905
00:40:32,480 --> 00:40:35,799
Speaker 1: Too late to go back and be like, okay, let's

906
00:40:35,800 --> 00:40:38,080
Speaker 1: try it, let's do this a different way.

907
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:40,480
Speaker 2: That's I just got goosebumps. You're right. That was a

908
00:40:40,480 --> 00:40:43,319
Speaker 2: beautiful It was not only the guys saying hey, we

909
00:40:43,320 --> 00:40:47,279
Speaker 2: were wrong and we're going to course correct, but then yeah,

910
00:40:47,440 --> 00:40:50,760
Speaker 2: watching the movies with them and just meeting the girls

911
00:40:50,800 --> 00:40:53,600
Speaker 2: where they were where they were at that It was.

912
00:40:53,760 --> 00:40:55,680
Speaker 2: That was a great That was a great episode, man,

913
00:40:56,400 --> 00:40:59,920
Speaker 2: it really was. It really was example of this you're.

914
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:03,960
Speaker 1: Right, and yeah, I think that was definitely like a

915
00:41:04,840 --> 00:41:08,799
Speaker 1: really great family moment for for everybody to kind of

916
00:41:08,840 --> 00:41:12,719
Speaker 1: come together and you know, remind each other that they're

917
00:41:12,719 --> 00:41:13,760
Speaker 1: there for each other, yeah.

918
00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:16,600
Speaker 2: And work work through it together. Nobody Sometimes you don't

919
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:18,759
Speaker 2: have all the answers, but you can. You can hold

920
00:41:18,800 --> 00:41:20,040
Speaker 2: your hand and walk them through it.

921
00:41:20,800 --> 00:41:24,080
Speaker 1: And I think as a parent, sometimes it's really important

922
00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:28,480
Speaker 1: for your kids to hear you say, you know, I

923
00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:30,319
Speaker 1: might have been wrong about that, or I was wrong

924
00:41:30,440 --> 00:41:32,239
Speaker 1: or I didn't think about it that way, or that's

925
00:41:32,280 --> 00:41:37,840
Speaker 1: a good point because kids need that validation too, that

926
00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:42,680
Speaker 1: sometimes adults make mistakes and that's okay, and there's and

927
00:41:42,680 --> 00:41:43,200
Speaker 1: that's okay.

928
00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:47,319
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, such important lessons. This is a this is

929
00:41:47,360 --> 00:41:49,600
Speaker 2: a really good one, and it's hard. I think it's

930
00:41:49,600 --> 00:41:53,160
Speaker 2: hard for people. Maybe us as mothers, women were more

931
00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:55,719
Speaker 2: emotionally available, but it was so Yeah, it was so

932
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:59,480
Speaker 2: powerful to see that with the three men Yeah goodbye

933
00:41:59,520 --> 00:42:02,399
Speaker 2: mister Bhaer episode. That was because it's.

934
00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:05,440
Speaker 1: Hard sometimes I like, I am not always a super

935
00:42:05,480 --> 00:42:09,600
Speaker 1: emotional person and so sometimes it does like I have

936
00:42:09,640 --> 00:42:13,440
Speaker 1: to be like, okay that I am uncomfortable, like you know,

937
00:42:13,640 --> 00:42:16,520
Speaker 1: with like someone's really crying or really like and my

938
00:42:16,520 --> 00:42:18,080
Speaker 1: first instance like how do we make this better and

939
00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:20,480
Speaker 1: make it up? But I'm like, no, this is you know,

940
00:42:20,600 --> 00:42:23,640
Speaker 1: sometimes we have to just be present and be.

941
00:42:23,680 --> 00:42:24,200
Speaker 3: There with it.

942
00:42:24,239 --> 00:42:26,799
Speaker 2: So such a good lesson.

943
00:42:27,480 --> 00:42:29,480
Speaker 3: I'm sending you a big hug right now, Ab.

944
00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:32,719
Speaker 2: I'm sending because a big hug because my feelings.

945
00:42:32,239 --> 00:42:34,480
Speaker 3: Now, you know, like number six, there's nothing that a

946
00:42:34,520 --> 00:42:35,160
Speaker 3: hug can't help.

947
00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:39,840
Speaker 2: I will accept your virtual hug over the airways.

948
00:42:39,840 --> 00:42:41,560
Speaker 1: I wish there was a way to send it over,

949
00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:43,560
Speaker 1: but I feel like if I start doing too much, I'm.

950
00:42:43,440 --> 00:42:45,480
Speaker 2: Going to release balloons. They send you a balloon.

951
00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:48,560
Speaker 3: Balloons. Okay, I'll take it. You gave me balloons. That's it.

952
00:42:49,239 --> 00:42:49,960
Speaker 2: There's a hug.

953
00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:51,040
Speaker 3: Thank you.

954
00:42:51,200 --> 00:42:55,480
Speaker 2: Zoom needs to create a hug. What you know something

955
00:42:55,560 --> 00:42:58,120
Speaker 2: to do where you feel a hug through the airwaves.

956
00:43:00,640 --> 00:43:03,480
Speaker 1: Well, everybody, thank you so much for joining us for

957
00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:06,759
Speaker 1: this episode, our little minisode of Howard Sanrito's.

958
00:43:06,800 --> 00:43:07,479
Speaker 3: It was super fun.

959
00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:10,120
Speaker 1: Make sure you follow us and dm us on Instagram

960
00:43:10,160 --> 00:43:13,640
Speaker 1: at Howard podcast or send us some emails at Howard

961
00:43:13,680 --> 00:43:17,680
Speaker 1: podcast at gmail dot com. And yeah, we'd love to

962
00:43:17,680 --> 00:43:20,120
Speaker 1: hear some of your parenting tips. What are some of

963
00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:22,919
Speaker 1: the parenting things that you've learned from the show, things

964
00:43:22,960 --> 00:43:26,000
Speaker 1: that you've applied you know, the show really it helped

965
00:43:26,080 --> 00:43:30,160
Speaker 1: raise a generation of kids and probably some adults too.

966
00:43:31,520 --> 00:43:33,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I would love to hear those stories from fans.

967
00:43:33,880 --> 00:43:36,239
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, thank you everybody for joining us.

968
00:43:36,520 --> 00:43:38,600
Speaker 1: Make sure you're liking it, subscribing to the podcast wherever

969
00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:40,319
Speaker 1: you're listening so that you can make sure and get

970
00:43:40,400 --> 00:43:42,319
Speaker 1: all the newest episodes as soon as they come out.

971
00:43:42,760 --> 00:43:46,279
Speaker 1: And remember, everybody, the world is small, the house is full,

972
00:43:47,440 --> 00:43:57,280
Speaker 1: and boom,