Speaker 1: Hey, everyone, Welcome back to On Purpose, the number one
Speaker 1: health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every
Speaker 1: one of you that come back every week to listen, learn,
Speaker 1: and grow. Now, I sometimes get a little nostalgic, I
Speaker 1: get a little reflective and introspective, and I wanted to
Speaker 1: share with you. I believe it's the first ever podcast
Speaker 1: public interview I ever did. And I always like to
Speaker 1: remind myself not only where I started, but why I'm
Speaker 1: doing what I'm doing and the intention that got me
Speaker 1: to where I am. And listening to this episode, I
Speaker 1: really feel so connected to that purpose. I think this
Speaker 1: was one of my favorite interviews I ever did. It
Speaker 1: was in my friend Tom Belieu. I think the questions
Speaker 1: you ask were so powerful, and I hope that you
Speaker 1: get to hear answers in here that support your journey
Speaker 1: to find it, your passion, to finding your purpose, to
Speaker 1: having meaningful relationships. So I can't wait for you to
Speaker 1: listen to this one, share it, absorb it, pass it on.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. Often the advice I give to
Speaker 1: people today is fast forward where you are, look at
Speaker 1: yourself in ten, fifteen, twenty years time and ask yourself
Speaker 1: the question is that where I want to be and
Speaker 1: if the answers no, then you need to find a
Speaker 1: new part to just get to understand yourself. You don't
Speaker 1: know what you need in your life until you figure
Speaker 1: out who you are. Everybody welcome to impact theory. You
Speaker 1: will hear, my friends, because you believe that human potential
Speaker 1: is nearly limitless. But you know that having potential is
Speaker 1: not the same as actually doing something with it. So
Speaker 1: our goal with this show and company is to introduce
Speaker 1: you to the people and ideas that will help you
Speaker 1: actually execute on your dreams. All right, Today's guests. As
Speaker 1: a former monk whose wisdom has truly gone viral. After
Speaker 1: finishing business school, he turned down lucrative offers from prestigious companies,
Speaker 1: shaved his head, and hit the road. For three years,
Speaker 1: he traveled across India, Europe and England, living as a monk, studying, meditating,
Speaker 1: and building food and shelter programs for those in need.
Speaker 1: He was definitely in love with what he was doing,
Speaker 1: but he knew that it didn't scale, so, driven by
Speaker 1: a desire to share what he was learning with as
Speaker 1: many people as possible, he re engaged with the world
Speaker 1: and dove headfirst into learning about the tools and techniques
Speaker 1: that might allow knowledge to spread as fast as entertainment,
Speaker 1: and to that end, he joined Accenture, helping them build
Speaker 1: their digital division while learning about the forces shaping the
Speaker 1: new digital landscape. He learned fast and quickly became their
Speaker 1: number one social media influencer in a company of four
Speaker 1: hundred thousand people. Along the way, he also helped advise
Speaker 1: over one hundred and fifty executives on their personal brands,
Speaker 1: allowing him a very broad base with which to test
Speaker 1: his theories and leveraging what he learned. In twenty sixteen,
Speaker 1: he launched his own Facebook page and it exploded in
Speaker 1: less than twelve months. His inspiring, entertaining and highly useful
Speaker 1: videos garnered over one billion views, and now he has
Speaker 1: north of two point five million followers globally. He makes
Speaker 1: content not only for his own pages, but for places
Speaker 1: like The Huffington Post, and he has interviewed such luminaries
Speaker 1: as Tim Ferris, Simon Sinek, doctor Shafali, Deepak Chopra, and
Speaker 1: countless others. In the wake of his ridiculous level of
Speaker 1: success as both a content creator and digital strategist, he
Speaker 1: was named to Forbes thirty under thirty list in twenty seventeen.
Speaker 1: The Asian Media Awards named his blog Best Blog in
Speaker 1: twenty sixteen, and he was added to National Geographics Chasing
Speaker 1: Genius Counsel, for which he is now helping to source
Speaker 1: solutions to some of the world's greatest challenges. So please
Speaker 1: help me in welcoming the urban Monk himself, the man
Speaker 1: who is proving that you really can scale impact. Jay
Speaker 1: Shetty here man, thanks for having me, truly an honor.
Speaker 1: Oh man, thank you. It goes both ways. So, as
Speaker 1: I was telling you before we started rolling in my research,
Speaker 1: like I normally just go watch all the interviews that
Speaker 1: people have done, and I've come across you like a
Speaker 1: million times in researching other people. So I thought, oh,
Speaker 1: this would be the easiest thing ever. Like this guy
Speaker 1: have been interviewed a hundred times and you haven't. Like
Speaker 1: it's insane to me, Like you're pumping out so much content.
Speaker 1: Nobody's napped you up yet. So this is gonna be
Speaker 1: really fun to really go deep. Your ideas are clearly
Speaker 1: very well thought through, so this should be a lot
Speaker 1: of fun. Thank you, man. Yeah, I'm patient, yes, patient
Speaker 1: of having the right interviews, the right time being with
Speaker 1: the right people having it be framed correctly. So I'm
Speaker 1: very on it to be. I'm a huge fan of
Speaker 1: the show. Thanks, thank you so much for having me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: absolutely so. One thing I want to talk about, obviously
Speaker 1: having lived in London, knowing a little bit about what
Speaker 1: it's like to grow up as an Indian kid in England,
Speaker 1: how on earth did you buck the trend of you
Speaker 1: once said, growing up in an Indian household, you're either
Speaker 1: a doctor or a lawyer, or a failure. Yeah that's right,
Speaker 1: So how like, how do you not fall prey to that? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Those are my three option. That was it. There was
Speaker 1: no fourth option. So according to my parents, family, or
Speaker 1: the community I grew up in, I'm a failure And
Speaker 1: how did I buck the trend? I was really really
Speaker 1: fortunate that very early on I started to experiment with
Speaker 1: what mattered to me. Sometimes I got me in a
Speaker 1: lot of trouble. What people don't know about me is
Speaker 1: that I was suspended from school three times for trying
Speaker 1: out all sorts of things, like things that people would
Speaker 1: never imagine if someone who goes on to be a monk.
Speaker 1: I was experimenting with all the drugs in the world.
Speaker 1: I had multiple relationships. I was really trying to search
Speaker 1: for some sort of meaning fulfillment. And as far as
Speaker 1: long as I've known, I've been chasing thrill. I really
Speaker 1: value thrill and feeling like my Nazi that coming. Yeah, no,
Speaker 1: not many people do. It's it's very different. From fourteen
Speaker 1: to eighteen, I was like this kid who just wanted
Speaker 1: to find new things out, and my parents' rhetoric would
Speaker 1: always be, will make sure you get good grades. And
Speaker 1: I used to think, well, if I can be bad
Speaker 1: and get good grades and then then it all works right,
Speaker 1: everyone's happy. So that's kind of what I did. And
Speaker 1: at eighteen, I was really fortunate when I met a monk,
Speaker 1: and this monk was invited to speak, and I kind
Speaker 1: of just went because one of my friends forced me to.
Speaker 1: At that time, I was listening to CEOs and entrepreneurs
Speaker 1: and business people and marketers who I thought that's what
Speaker 1: I was aspiring to be like. And then I hear
Speaker 1: this monk and he captivated me like no one had
Speaker 1: ever captivated me before. It was like staring at the
Speaker 1: most beautiful woman on the planet, you know. I was
Speaker 1: completely fixated on him and his message and that is
Speaker 1: the beginning, without me going into too much detail before
Speaker 1: we probe that was the beginning of what changed me
Speaker 1: because I went from being someone who did only want
Speaker 1: all those things to become success as for and trying to.
Speaker 1: But I started hearing my own inner voice much more
Speaker 1: in all that noise that I had around me. I
Speaker 1: remember one of my parents had a mass tutor for
Speaker 1: me because they wanted to be amazing at mass and
Speaker 1: I was pretty good at numbers, and I'd have this
Speaker 1: tutor and he'd tell me that he goes the reason
Speaker 1: that you're struggling with the next question is because you're
Speaker 1: always worried about what your parents think. And that really
Speaker 1: stayed in my head. I was just like, Wow, so
Speaker 1: as long as I'm trapped by what my parents think,
Speaker 1: I can actually never find the answers to the real
Speaker 1: questions of life. And there are all these little things happening.
Speaker 1: I lost two great friends when I was sixteen. One
Speaker 1: girl died in a car accident. One guy died because
Speaker 1: he was involved in drugs and violence. That made me
Speaker 1: rethink everything. I just thought to myself, wait a minute,
Speaker 1: these were beautiful people, people that I loved, people that
Speaker 1: in my opinion were good people, and I just lost
Speaker 1: them in a moment, and it was kind of like
Speaker 1: this collation of little things that just made me think,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, having money, having fame, this that just
Speaker 1: doesn't seem to add up. And then meeting the monk
Speaker 1: kind of made that shift possible. And as I said,
Speaker 1: he was completely captivating. And then I found out that
Speaker 1: he'd given up jobs in Google and Microsoft to be
Speaker 1: a monk, and I thought to myself, who does that?
Speaker 1: You know, he's given up everything that I'm chasing and
Speaker 1: that all my friends are chasing. But he seems happier
Speaker 1: than anyone I've ever met before. And he spoke about
Speaker 1: this incredible principle where he said that we should plant
Speaker 1: trees under whose shade we do not plan to sit,
Speaker 1: and he was speaking about this principle of selfless sacrifice,
Speaker 1: and that kind of just penetrated me right there. When
Speaker 1: he said the words selfless sacrifice, for the first time
Speaker 1: in my life, I felt a thrill about something that
Speaker 1: had never felt before. I thought, Wow, giving up everything
Speaker 1: you have for the service of others sounds like the
Speaker 1: best thing you could possibly do. And I don't know
Speaker 1: why I had that thought, because I wasn't a spiritual
Speaker 1: kid growing up. I wasn't a religious kid growing up.
Speaker 1: I wasn't even a good kid growing up. I was
Speaker 1: just a rebel, a misfit, trying things out, an experimental
Speaker 1: which I still consider myself. And so what I started
Speaker 1: to do is I was interning at companies and firms
Speaker 1: and corporates, thinking I was getting a grad job afterwards.
Speaker 1: And then I'd spend the rest of my summer holidays
Speaker 1: interning in India living with him as a monk. So
Speaker 1: I'd use all my summer and Christmas holidays to just
Speaker 1: be out there with the monks. And he introduced me
Speaker 1: to another two hundred to five hundred monks that were
Speaker 1: just like him, just as smart, just as bright, giving
Speaker 1: up everything they had and using all their skills to
Speaker 1: make the world a better place. I want to go back.
Speaker 1: So why that resonated with you? Which is really surprising.
Speaker 1: So and maybe you're just, you know, so far ahead
Speaker 1: of where I was at the time, But that would
Speaker 1: have sounded absurd to me at that time. Did you
Speaker 1: already have a sense of unease that like I'm a
Speaker 1: rebel without a cause, or like, what was it about
Speaker 1: that moment? And you seem very aware of yourself. So
Speaker 1: I'm hoping that some of that awareness is present. Then, like,
Speaker 1: what was that moment? I believe the moment. I've always
Speaker 1: had friends who are older than me, and I could
Speaker 1: see a lot of them in the most successful careers,
Speaker 1: successful jobs, beautiful partners, whatever it was. But I saw
Speaker 1: a sense of lack of fulfillment, meaning and purpose in
Speaker 1: their lives. And I've always been an observer and I
Speaker 1: would see these people are like five years older than
Speaker 1: he's seven years older than me, maybe ten years older
Speaker 1: than me, and I'd be watching them and go, is
Speaker 1: that the life I want? And often the advice I
Speaker 1: give to people today is fast forward where you are
Speaker 1: look at yourself in ten, fifteen, twenty years time and
Speaker 1: ask yourself the question, is that where I want to be.
Speaker 1: If you're in a company, look at the person who's
Speaker 1: twenty years ahead of you and ask yourself, is that
Speaker 1: where I want to be? If you're in a startup,
Speaker 1: look at where other startups have got too in similar role,
Speaker 1: and go is that where I want to be? And
Speaker 1: if the answer is no, then you need to find
Speaker 1: a new path. And for me, the answer at that
Speaker 1: time from observing was no the path that my parents
Speaker 1: or society, or the university I went to, or the
Speaker 1: community I had that was carving out for me. It
Speaker 1: didn't feel like the path for me. So I was
Speaker 1: almost seeking an alternative or a new path. I was
Speaker 1: just so fortunate that it happened to be an uplifting,
Speaker 1: powerful path as opposed to something that could have actually
Speaker 1: taken me down the wrong road, because that could have
Speaker 1: been possible too. So walk me through the first time
Speaker 1: you step after plane in India, it's summer, and so
Speaker 1: I'm living there. I'm waking up, I'm almost doing all
Speaker 1: the practices, just as if you were shadowing a CEO.
Speaker 1: I'm just shadowing a monk, and so I'm just shadowing
Speaker 1: his lifestyle. So we wake up. He's like one of
Speaker 1: the most elite monks. So we're waking up at like
Speaker 1: two am every day after sleeping at like nine or
Speaker 1: ten pm. And then we study these ancient vaders which
Speaker 1: are five thousand plus years old together and we spend
Speaker 1: two hours and I'm studying with the best of the
Speaker 1: best here so he can analyze and assimilate and I'm
Speaker 1: learning fast taking notes. Than four am, we go to
Speaker 1: collective meditation. We do those actuses with the other monks
Speaker 1: as well. Six am, we have personal meditation. So I'm
Speaker 1: literally going through the life of a monk and falling
Speaker 1: in love with it step by step, going wow, I've
Speaker 1: never had this experience before. I just drew myself in
Speaker 1: and I was practicing it to the t right. It
Speaker 1: wasn't like, oh, no, my back hurts when I sit
Speaker 1: on the floor, I can't stay it for too long,
Speaker 1: or you know, today when people are like, oh, I
Speaker 1: can't meditate for longer than two minutes, I was like, no,
Speaker 1: I'm going to do it for two hours. If that's
Speaker 1: what they're doing, I'm going to give it a go
Speaker 1: because I can only test the hypothesis will only be
Speaker 1: true if the experiment is carried out to the degree
Speaker 1: that they are. So if the hypothesis is if you
Speaker 1: live like this, you'll are happy, more fulfilled, then I
Speaker 1: want to do that, all right. So let's explore this
Speaker 1: then through the lens of creating one's own perfect life. Yes,
Speaker 1: which is pretty interesting, especially interesting because I think this
Speaker 1: is so accurate to the way that most people are.
Speaker 1: It's not like, oh, there's some grand missing thing in
Speaker 1: my life. But you took that first action. So cart
Speaker 1: if I this for me or for anybody that wants
Speaker 1: they don't know what their ideal life looks like. They
Speaker 1: just know that they're not living it yet. So step
Speaker 1: number one is take it seriously to find out if
Speaker 1: their hypothesis is true or not. You have to take
Speaker 1: the experiment, You have to do it sincerely. What comes
Speaker 1: after that, I think even one step before that is
Speaker 1: opening yourself up to new role models and new experiences. See,
Speaker 1: we live in echo chambers. We're just surrounded by the
Speaker 1: same thinking. How often do you bump into a monk?
Speaker 1: You know, it just doesn't happen, You don't have No
Speaker 1: one has a dinner party and goes, oh, yeah, we
Speaker 1: just invited the monk, you know, from down like the
Speaker 1: local monk. Like no one ever does that. And so
Speaker 1: we meet people who are just like us most of
Speaker 1: the time. And we talk about this in business all
Speaker 1: the time. If you want to be a billionaire, spend
Speaker 1: time with billionaires. If you want to be a millionaire,
Speaker 1: spent time a millionaires. If you want to be a
Speaker 1: tech startup, spend time with you know. That's the common
Speaker 1: retoric that we hear all the time. But what if
Speaker 1: you want to find purpose a master the mind. There's
Speaker 1: no one better than a monk who's master the mind.
Speaker 1: So for me, the first step is just opening yourself
Speaker 1: up to new experiences and new role models. Because most
Speaker 1: of us can't see ourselves in people, so then we
Speaker 1: try and fit ourselves into the boxes that we do see.
Speaker 1: And and I mean, there's this beautiful quote that I've
Speaker 1: been saying it everywhere, and I wish I wrote it,
Speaker 1: but I didn't. So it's by a philosopher and writer
Speaker 1: named Truly, and he said that today, I'm not what
Speaker 1: I think I am. I'm not what you think I am.
Speaker 1: I am what I think you think I am. Right,
Speaker 1: and just let that blow your mind from it's it's
Speaker 1: so powerful. I'm not what I think I am. I'm
Speaker 1: not what you think I am. I am what I
Speaker 1: think you think I am. So we live in this
Speaker 1: perception of a perception of ourselves. Hence, my identity is
Speaker 1: made by what my parents think I should be. My
Speaker 1: identity is made up by what my college or university
Speaker 1: thinks I should achieve. While you're living in that bubble
Speaker 1: and that echo chamber, getting to what you really want
Speaker 1: to do is impossible because maybe that just doesn't fit.
Speaker 1: And I think so many people feel that way today,
Speaker 1: that they don't fit into the current education system. They
Speaker 1: don't fit with the three or four or five careers
Speaker 1: that you're taught exist. So that process of self excavation
Speaker 1: and actualization first requires being exposed. You can't be what
Speaker 1: you can't see. If I never saw a monk, I
Speaker 1: would never have wanted to be a monk. If I
Speaker 1: never meet a billionaire, I wouldn't want to be one
Speaker 1: because I wouldn't know what that feels like. I don't
Speaker 1: know what it looks like. I don't know what it takes.
Speaker 1: And I think that's the biggest challenge of our society
Speaker 1: that we're not exposed. So that's the first step, being
Speaker 1: exposed to unique experiences and role models. Second step is
Speaker 1: finding that experience or role model that you're passionate about
Speaker 1: and exactly like you said, taking it seriously. Shadow their
Speaker 1: network with them, spend time with them, observe them, even
Speaker 1: from afar. It takes that observation, being addicted to a
Speaker 1: deserving that person's lifestyle. And then the third step is
Speaker 1: going yes or no, does that work for me? Not
Speaker 1: everyone who's going to go off and become a monk
Speaker 1: is going to feel like the way I did, and
Speaker 1: that's cool. But not everyone is going to go and
Speaker 1: follow and shadow a billionaire god. That's exactly the lifestyle
Speaker 1: I want. They may want the result, but do they
Speaker 1: want the hard work that goes with it? And so
Speaker 1: for me, that's the third step. It's observing, focusing, shadowing,
Speaker 1: getting as close to the process of that individual, and
Speaker 1: then going yes or no, do I want that process?
Speaker 1: Not do I want the result. Everyone wants to be
Speaker 1: that monk who's fully enlightened, you know, can walk through
Speaker 1: as an incredible aura that people just gravitate towards. But
Speaker 1: when you realize he has to wake up at two
Speaker 1: am every day and steeps about four to six hours,
Speaker 1: you're like, ah, you know, I don't want to do that.
Speaker 1: That doesn't sound like me. All right, So ye go
Speaker 1: a couple of things. One, you said, he's as powerful
Speaker 1: as he is, fine power for me, power being. So
Speaker 1: from a month perspective, the greatest power is to be
Speaker 1: self controlled, to be able to train the mind and
Speaker 1: energy to focus it exactly where you want it and
Speaker 1: when you want it to be. You are completely detached
Speaker 1: and undeterred from external ups and downs. You're able to
Speaker 1: navigate anything that seems tough, challenging, fun, excitement with the
Speaker 1: same amount of being equipoised and balanced in equantimity, without
Speaker 1: being too excited in pleasure or being too depressed in pain,
Speaker 1: but knowing how to navigate every situation. To me, that's
Speaker 1: great strength and great power. I heard in one of
Speaker 1: your talks you were saying that if you look at
Speaker 1: a literal lifeline, a heartbeat, for instance, you know it's
Speaker 1: it's up and it's down. And people have this sense
Speaker 1: that something like enlightenment would be that the equanimity forever
Speaker 1: and just then even keel And you said, but what
Speaker 1: does that resemble? It resembles a flatline when you die. Correct,
Speaker 1: So what is it like? What I love about you
Speaker 1: as you sort of went into the wilderness of being
Speaker 1: a monk, but you've brought it back to the real
Speaker 1: world because when you talk about a monkey, talk about
Speaker 1: them being detached, and that to me seems like the
Speaker 1: only real way to have that sort of super even
Speaker 1: keel existence, which is not appealing to me personally. So
Speaker 1: if you're bringing back that notion of power of having
Speaker 1: control over yourself, not letting your emotions take you everywhere,
Speaker 1: but knowing that life is the series of ups and downs.
Speaker 1: What does that power look like when it's brought back? Absolutely,
Speaker 1: And actually that's the whole aim of monk training. It's
Speaker 1: more like a training system than it is a lifelong commitment.
Speaker 1: It is bringing that mindset into the real world where
Speaker 1: you get to test it. Now. I got to do
Speaker 1: that for real when I left being a monk around
Speaker 1: five years ago. And when i left it was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm in the real world now again,
Speaker 1: real world. I have to think about how to apply
Speaker 1: all this I'm going to test for real, all this
Speaker 1: stuff that I've learned, and I was scared, like I
Speaker 1: was nervous. I was anxious in all those things that
Speaker 1: I've been trained not to be rushed back because for
Speaker 1: the first time in my life, I had to really
Speaker 1: put it into practice. And I love that feeling. I'm
Speaker 1: so glad that I had to do that. So for me, actually,
Speaker 1: the mindset is completely trainable to bring into the real world.
Speaker 1: That's what I'm trying to do. And what it allows
Speaker 1: you to do is it allows you to grain clarity
Speaker 1: and perspective when you need it, because you know, when
Speaker 1: you can just take a bird's eye view from something,
Speaker 1: you know when you need to get close into something,
Speaker 1: you know when you need to pull back from something.
Speaker 1: There's a beautiful verse in the bugwad Gita that says
Speaker 1: that detachment is not that you own nothing. Detachment is
Speaker 1: that nothing owns you. And I love it because to me,
Speaker 1: that summarizes detachment in a way that it's not usually explained.
Speaker 1: Usually people see detachment as being away from everything. Actually,
Speaker 1: the greatest detachment is being close to everything and not
Speaker 1: letting it consume and own you. And that's real power,
Speaker 1: that's real strength. How many people do we know that
Speaker 1: have had fai and then that fame has ruined them.
Speaker 1: So for me, that definition of detachment is possible to
Speaker 1: practice even in the real world. Rather than saying, Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna have a really simple life, I'm just
Speaker 1: gonna have nothing in life. What was the best part
Speaker 1: about being a monk? The best part about being a
Speaker 1: monk is that your morning routine and practices are so
Speaker 1: powerful that you can actually aspire for more incredible values
Speaker 1: in life because your mind is clear. Because your mind
Speaker 1: is clear and you have that ability to have more
Speaker 1: clarity so you can seek that which is which is higher.
Speaker 1: So I'll give an example of what I mean to define,
Speaker 1: is that we're about to define what is higher. Yes, exactly,
Speaker 1: So for me, being able to overcome ego, being able
Speaker 1: to overcome envy, being able to overcome jealousy, being able
Speaker 1: to overcome the negative of competitive state, there's a positive
Speaker 1: competitive state and there's a negative competitive state. Today when
Speaker 1: people are looking on Instagram or Facebook or YouTube, all
Speaker 1: you're looking at is oh, she got that many likes,
Speaker 1: or he got that many likes, she got engaged, or
Speaker 1: he got married, or oh my god, look at her body,
Speaker 1: or look at that, and it's like that stuff's destroying
Speaker 1: us inside. Envy, jealousy, ego, greed. To be able to
Speaker 1: have enough clarity to purify yourself of those things is
Speaker 1: going to alleviate the biggest anxieties and depressions of our
Speaker 1: time and mental health problems. And we know that. We
Speaker 1: know that because all the mental health resets today suggests
Speaker 1: that things like isolation overexposure, we now can have more
Speaker 1: pain consumption in one day because of what we're exposed
Speaker 1: to than the pain we would have had in a lifetime.
Speaker 1: That's huge, stress, anxiety, overwhelm, burnout. What do all of
Speaker 1: these have in common? And of perceived control over your time, thoughts,
Speaker 1: and tasks? But what if I told you fixing all
Speaker 1: of these problems is as simple as fixing your mindset
Speaker 1: towards them. I know, not simple at all. Everyone's busy,
Speaker 1: everyone's stress, but we could all use more calm in
Speaker 1: our lives, and learning to stay grounded and grateful is
Speaker 1: truly a daily practice. That's why I've partnered with Calm
Speaker 1: dot com to bring you the Daily J. If you've
Speaker 1: ever wanted to meditate with me and take back control
Speaker 1: over your busy mind, join me on the car map
Speaker 1: for the Daily J, a daily guided meditation where I'll
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Speaker 1: Meditate with me by going to Calm dot com forward
Speaker 1: slash jay to get forty percent off a Calm Premium
Speaker 1: membership that's only forty two dollars for the whole year
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Speaker 1: can that's ridiculous to think that one day, because of
Speaker 1: the media, news and social media, we consume more negative
Speaker 1: than we did in a lifetime. For me, being able
Speaker 1: to have time, energy, and clarity to focus on self
Speaker 1: purification that is the best thing about being a monk,
Speaker 1: because you have that time reflection, and a process and
Speaker 1: an environment that only allows you to become more purified
Speaker 1: of those things. So if I was the interviewer that
Speaker 1: I wanted to be able to have asked you this
Speaker 1: question when we were on the topic. But I'm going
Speaker 1: to go back to this is important enough. You gave
Speaker 1: us the three ways that you can really construct your
Speaker 1: ideal life, but define an ideal life for me. So
Speaker 1: in an ideal life for me is a life, and
Speaker 1: this applies to a company, an organization, and institution for
Speaker 1: me is an ideal life is when we all have
Speaker 1: a head, a heart, and a hand or three elements
Speaker 1: together working in alignment. Without one or the other, we
Speaker 1: start to lose something. If you only have a head
Speaker 1: and a heart, you'll find that life is stable and define. Yeah, sure, sure,
Speaker 1: sure sure. So a head is the clarity of vision.
Speaker 1: What you want, what you want, knowing what you want
Speaker 1: the way you picture life and being able to navigate
Speaker 1: and make the decisions to get there. That's a good head.
Speaker 1: A good heart is being able to understand what your
Speaker 1: intuition and heart wants, being able to connect and tap
Speaker 1: into that understanding deeper and beyond the vision you may
Speaker 1: have painted for yourself. So I often say to people
Speaker 1: that you'll get to where you want in life, just
Speaker 1: not in the way you imagined. And that's because the
Speaker 1: path that's paved up and down is far different to
Speaker 1: the path we pave. So you can have a great
Speaker 1: head and a great vision and a great mission and
Speaker 1: know where you want to go. But if your heart's
Speaker 1: not able to have that resilience and be able adapt
Speaker 1: and have compassion and care and all of that, then
Speaker 1: you're not going to be able to make the toughest
Speaker 1: decisions without your heart. But to be able to realize
Speaker 1: that we need to care and be sustainable and long
Speaker 1: lasting requires a heart and a hand. Is that service,
Speaker 1: wanting to pass that on, that which you have, wanting
Speaker 1: to give it forward, pay it forward, the idea of
Speaker 1: serving with what you have. I often say to people,
Speaker 1: your passion is for you, Your purpose is for others.
Speaker 1: Your passion makes you happy. But when you use your
Speaker 1: passion to make a difference in someone else's life, that's
Speaker 1: a service. That's a purpose, and that's the hand. So
Speaker 1: those are my three elements of an ideal life. I
Speaker 1: like that a lot and when you first said it,
Speaker 1: and I'm glad you to find it because when you
Speaker 1: first said it, I thought the heart was going to
Speaker 1: be the part about, like you know, just compassion and
Speaker 1: caring for others, doing something for other people. But I
Speaker 1: like that the hand being tied to service. So one
Speaker 1: thing that I think a lot about is deep fulfillment.
Speaker 1: Like really, when I think about, okay, what is a
Speaker 1: life we're living? Honestly, it comes down to neurochemistry for me,
Speaker 1: and it comes down to experiencing this world in a
Speaker 1: way that optimizes for for sustainable pleasure, which I'll differentiate
Speaker 1: between a bowl of ice cream a bump of cocaine.
Speaker 1: Those are pleasurables and I haven't done the cocaine, but
Speaker 1: the ice cream I can speak for good, so I'll
Speaker 1: trust that it's it holds up. But they don't bring
Speaker 1: a lasting fulfillment. It's not sustainable, right, So both of
Speaker 1: them end up creating this self destructive loop and purpose
Speaker 1: really does become that thing that gives you something that
Speaker 1: is on a neurochemical level deeply satisfying. And how much
Speaker 1: of this like how did you marry the deeply spiritual
Speaker 1: the often abstract. Oftentimes I'll hear spiritual speakers talk and
Speaker 1: I them sort of drifting off under the ether. How
Speaker 1: did you marry that? To experimentation, neuroscience, practicality like one,
Speaker 1: why do you find that interesting? And then to what
Speaker 1: are you doing with her? So I studied behavioral science
Speaker 1: at university. So I've always been fascinated by why people
Speaker 1: do what they do. And whenever I was reading these
Speaker 1: books that are five thousand years old, my greatest fascination
Speaker 1: was finding a principle and finding its relevance in modern science.
Speaker 1: And I said to myself, the day I can't find that,
Speaker 1: I'll quit. I won't believe in this anymore. So I'm
Speaker 1: still doing that, and I'm ready to quit. If someone
Speaker 1: shows me a piece of science and I can't find
Speaker 1: a principle in these ancient literatures or actually what I
Speaker 1: like to call these timeless literatures, then I'll give up
Speaker 1: my faith because for me, it has to track forward,
Speaker 1: and I'll give you a brially basic example. Today we're
Speaker 1: in the gratitude movement. There's like a million gratitude journals
Speaker 1: out there, there's a million scientific studies on gratitude, and
Speaker 1: gratitude has been linked to better mental health, self for awareness,
Speaker 1: better relationships. I mean, there's so many scientific studies on
Speaker 1: the neuro level that shows that gratitude is great for
Speaker 1: your mind, brain and fulfillment. Now I look back, gratitude
Speaker 1: is all over the time, this wisdom. One of the
Speaker 1: first things we were trained to do when we were
Speaker 1: a monk was to pay our respects to the earth
Speaker 1: for what it gives us. And you do that first
Speaker 1: thing in the morning. What is that if not gratitude.
Speaker 1: When you wake up in the morning, you thank the
Speaker 1: earth for the food, You thank the earth for the water,
Speaker 1: You thank the earth for allowing yourself to walk. You
Speaker 1: start your day with gratitude today. The biggest tip on
Speaker 1: Forbes and Ink and everything is start your day with gratitude. Like,
Speaker 1: where does it come from? It's it's right there. These
Speaker 1: things are old. So I get fascinated. I'm intrigued by
Speaker 1: the parallels and patterns because it saves you time. It's
Speaker 1: the same way as which if I say that this
Speaker 1: business person got invested by this company and that's why
Speaker 1: they're successful because they had the right investors, etc. That's
Speaker 1: a pattern. So I know, if I'm building a business
Speaker 1: in that area, I'm going to look for en messages
Speaker 1: like that. It's the same thing that Patton saves you
Speaker 1: time rather than you trying to figure out does gratitude work?
Speaker 1: How shall I be grateful? Creating your own process almost
Speaker 1: It's really interesting. Life has taught me to stop believing
Speaker 1: everything I think, and the way that it's taught me
Speaker 1: that is by relentlessly punishing me every time I overinvest
Speaker 1: in being right. And I remember when my wife and
Speaker 1: I first got together. She used to get chest infections
Speaker 1: all the time, and she told me it's because of
Speaker 1: the AC and I was like, that doesn't make sense,
Speaker 1: and she was like, no, no no, no. My grandmother used
Speaker 1: to just swear up and down if you're hot and
Speaker 1: you stand in front of a fan, that you're going
Speaker 1: to get sick. And I was like, that is the
Speaker 1: biggest load of like crap I've ever heard my life.
Speaker 1: That does not make sense. Like getting sick comes from
Speaker 1: either bacteria or virus, like it's that simple. And she
Speaker 1: was like, I'm just saying it's my grandma always had
Speaker 1: and it seems true to me. And I was just like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is exhausting. And then one time I went to
Speaker 1: a doctor and I was like, yeah, and my wife
Speaker 1: is crazy and thinks that when you're hot, if you
Speaker 1: stand in front of ac it'll make you sick. And
Speaker 1: he goes, oh, yeah, she's right, and I was like
Speaker 1: hold on, and he was like, well, she's sort of right.
Speaker 1: He's like, this is what's happening. You have a mucous
Speaker 1: layer membrane in your throat. That's it keeps it moist,
Speaker 1: keeps germs from being able to break the breakthrough the barrier,
Speaker 1: and so they get trapped, they go to your stomach,
Speaker 1: they're killed by the acid or whatever. And he said,
Speaker 1: but if you get a crack in that, then the
Speaker 1: bacteria virus can actually get into your bloodstream and that's
Speaker 1: how you get sick. And it's just drying her throat
Speaker 1: out and I was like whoa. And it was one
Speaker 1: of those moments where I was like, how many wives
Speaker 1: tales are true? Like directionally, they're not accurate, but they're true.
Speaker 1: If you see what I mean, yes, and so that's
Speaker 1: how I think when you think of a book that's
Speaker 1: lasted as long as it has. And I know you
Speaker 1: and I we've never talked about this, but we share
Speaker 1: a real fascination for storytelling because it's a way to
Speaker 1: convey an idea that resonates emotionally and allows people to
Speaker 1: carry it on and pass it on. And obviously this
Speaker 1: all starts long before we have science and can prove
Speaker 1: any of this, but we see the patterns. We need
Speaker 1: a way to encapsulate the pattern. We encapsulate it in
Speaker 1: a story. The story is in and of itself totally fake,
Speaker 1: but now in a modern context we're getting lost in
Speaker 1: that the story is fake, even though the take home
Speaker 1: message is incredibly powerful. Yes, and so as I mean,
Speaker 1: it's the classic story. Right. The more you learn, the
Speaker 1: less you realize, you know. And just as I've gotten
Speaker 1: older and really started to understand the stuff and read
Speaker 1: as much as I do and quite frankly live and
Speaker 1: suffer and go through things like my wife having microbiome
Speaker 1: issues and at first thinking her all of her descriptions
Speaker 1: make absolutely no sense. And then you stop passing a
Speaker 1: judgment on it and start saying what if everything she's
Speaker 1: saying is actually true, Like how would we treat it? Then? Right?
Speaker 1: And so there is something really fascinating there. Now I
Speaker 1: find myself I'm way more emotionally drawn to the science
Speaker 1: because when I can picture it, I have a much
Speaker 1: easier time doing something about it. So when you were
Speaker 1: talking about the things that you learned from meditation, I've
Speaker 1: gotten tremendous value out of meditation, but it's nothing like
Speaker 1: what you've learned. So for me, it was once I
Speaker 1: understood that diaphragm breathing made sense because it triggers the
Speaker 1: parasympathetic nervous system, then because I understood it, it it like
Speaker 1: was the understanding becomes a force multiplier absolutely. All right,
Speaker 1: let's talk about behavioral science self awareness. Watching your content,
Speaker 1: which have you ever looked at how much content you've
Speaker 1: put out? It's a lot, dude, Like when you search
Speaker 1: your name like to go because I normally try to
Speaker 1: watch like basically everything, and I was like, I give up.
Speaker 1: It's just it's really incredible. And going through that stuff,
Speaker 1: it seems really clear to me that you have massive
Speaker 1: self awareness. And what would you say, like, is a
Speaker 1: is there a process for people to gain more self awareness.
Speaker 1: And then what are from a behavioral you know, human
Speaker 1: behavior level, what are things that trip up the average person?
Speaker 1: First answer, I mean, I'm a huge fan of the
Speaker 1: book Thinking Fast and Slow. I don't know how if
Speaker 1: you've read it, Yeah, it's a great book because for me,
Speaker 1: it's got a really close pattern connection again to what
Speaker 1: I studied. So just understanding system one and system two.
Speaker 1: If anyone watching hasn't read it, I highly recommend it.
Speaker 1: Just being able to differentiate between system one and system two,
Speaker 1: as Daniel Kahman calls it in the Vedic Philosophy wily
Speaker 1: call differentiating between the mind and the intelligence. Knowing how
Speaker 1: to differentiate of the voices in your head is the
Speaker 1: first level of self awareness. So breakdown what system one
Speaker 1: and system two are. Absolutely, it's a System one is
Speaker 1: your initial response to anything that happens. It's a stop
Speaker 1: that I can't really say. So if you say something
Speaker 1: I don't like, my system one naturally would be a
Speaker 1: face that I pull that I don't agree with. That.
Speaker 1: That's an understanding of what system one in. It's your
Speaker 1: initial default reaction in the moment that can be positive. Often,
Speaker 1: for example, if someone pulls out a knife. You feel
Speaker 1: scared and you run that System one. That's a good thing.
Speaker 1: It's safe for you. But also system one is someone
Speaker 1: says something that hurts your ego and you start defending
Speaker 1: yourself immediately. That's also that's a negative of system one
Speaker 1: that we would refer to as the mind. It's built
Speaker 1: up of conditioning. Those responses are conditioned, those default elements
Speaker 1: are all there because of habit and continuous practice. The
Speaker 1: system two is more like the intelligence. What I would
Speaker 1: say is more like the parent. If you can consider
Speaker 1: system one to be more like a child, system two
Speaker 1: is more like a parent. It looks more at the
Speaker 1: long term, It looks more at the bigger picture. It
Speaker 1: processes that default reaction through a set of checking and
Speaker 1: metrics to decide whether that's true. The child is the
Speaker 1: one that wants everything right away, impatient, quickly responding straight away,
Speaker 1: reacting when it doesn't get what it wants. The intelligent parent,
Speaker 1: a good one, knows what the child wants and needs
Speaker 1: and what's better for it in the long term. Just
Speaker 1: starting there and being able to reflect and observe the
Speaker 1: different voices inside of us is a great place to
Speaker 1: start yourself awareness. Because the biggest challenge is that most
Speaker 1: of us don't know what we're listening to, and we
Speaker 1: don't most of us don't even know that there are
Speaker 1: more than one voice inside of us. Just getting over
Speaker 1: that line is a huge win because now at least
Speaker 1: you're trying to differentiate within what you're hearing, and that's
Speaker 1: going to help you make better decisions in the future.
Speaker 1: So that was answer one, Does that answer your question?
Speaker 1: And second one was so that's awareness? How can what
Speaker 1: are like typical things that trip people up? That? So
Speaker 1: in your answer, just now it's like, okay, if you
Speaker 1: want to become more aware, just know that those two
Speaker 1: things are happening. Right, You're gonna have an initial response
Speaker 1: and then one that's more calculated. Now be aware of
Speaker 1: these two or three things that are also coming for you.
Speaker 1: The biggest challenge is that there's just so much noise.
Speaker 1: It's like, have you ever had someone in your home?
Speaker 1: Maybe it's your wife, or maybe it's a friend or whatever.
Speaker 1: Just play a really bad song too often? Right, just
Speaker 1: playing a song that you really don't actually heard my
Speaker 1: wife laugh because she knows how guilty. All right, Okay,
Speaker 1: there you go, right, there you go, and you just
Speaker 1: play a song and just thinking, I turn that off,
Speaker 1: and after a while, it's been on for so long
Speaker 1: that you become immune to it, like it's just there
Speaker 1: and it's still on. It's there in the back of
Speaker 1: your mind, and you didn't manage to turn it off.
Speaker 1: So the noise that I describe in life, whether it's
Speaker 1: your parents' expectations, whether it's society's expectations, whether it's your
Speaker 1: partner's expectations, all of those are like noise in the background,
Speaker 1: and that noise drowns out your ability to understand the
Speaker 1: mind and the intelligence. That's one of the biggest trip
Speaker 1: ups I was looking at. I gave a presentation called
Speaker 1: build a Life, Not a Resume. It's also one of
Speaker 1: my popular videos, but very good video. Thank you man,
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. And when I did the research,
Speaker 1: so you don't see this in the video because this
Speaker 1: research didn't make it into the video, but the research
Speaker 1: that I was doing was around the most common resume
Speaker 1: live The truth is over forty to fifty percent of
Speaker 1: us lie on our resumes. Yeah, if you don't, you're
Speaker 1: missing an opportunity. I'll just say that, Yeah, there you go, right, So,
Speaker 1: and I started to dig deeper, and I was looking
Speaker 1: at you know, a lot of people lie about their
Speaker 1: dates and employment. So instead of three days, it's now
Speaker 1: three months, you know, whatever it may be. Now, I
Speaker 1: dug deeper and I wanted to meet some of these
Speaker 1: people and speak to people. And so I spoke to
Speaker 1: people who lie on their resumes, and we know that
Speaker 1: at least forty to fifty percent tell us they do. No.
Speaker 1: The thing is, no one was proud of that, no one.
Speaker 1: No one was like, yeah, yeah, I know, I'm going
Speaker 1: to get. Really, what it came down to is we're
Speaker 1: really insecure about our own abilities. Really, what it came
Speaker 1: down to is we're not confident about what we have
Speaker 1: to offer. What it came down to is a lack
Speaker 1: of self awareness. What it came down to is a
Speaker 1: lack of understanding what am I good at, what am
Speaker 1: I passionate about, what am I bringing to the table.
Speaker 1: That's what people were really worried about. They were worried
Speaker 1: about the job. But when you dug beneath the surface,
Speaker 1: the real behavioral trait that was coming out was insecurity
Speaker 1: and being unconfident about one's potential. That that tells us
Speaker 1: a lot. That indicates a lot about human behavior and
Speaker 1: human nature. That the noise from outside makes us want
Speaker 1: to fit into a container, and that stops us from
Speaker 1: differentiating between what is my mind saying and what is
Speaker 1: my intelligence saying. And what happens is that noise becomes
Speaker 1: your voice, so that noise becomes what you think is
Speaker 1: what you're saying. And most people don't realize that until
Speaker 1: ten twenty thirty years down the line. How the hell
Speaker 1: do you figure out? So your analogy is great songs
Speaker 1: on you don't even realize is there anymore? It becomes
Speaker 1: total white noise. You're oblivious to it. In fact, you'll
Speaker 1: only notice it if it gets turned off. Correct, So
Speaker 1: how do they identify that? Like you, you you have a
Speaker 1: process for that. How do you hear the thing that
Speaker 1: you no longer hear so that you can shut it off? Yeah? Absolutely.
Speaker 1: One of the biggest ones, and we say this all
Speaker 1: the time, but it applies mostly to this is switching
Speaker 1: your association. Is switch association to people? Let you hang out, right,
Speaker 1: It's like changing your circle because if you're only hearing
Speaker 1: the same thing from that circle, the only way to
Speaker 1: turn it off with out you having to do mass
Speaker 1: amounts of reflection is changing your circle where you start hearing,
Speaker 1: we all ultimately find the things we want to hear, right,
Speaker 1: we know that, all right? So I created like a
Speaker 1: little piece of content for Alexa where I was like, Okay,
Speaker 1: what are the four questions that you can ask to
Speaker 1: get because you and I use different words, but I
Speaker 1: think we're saying the same thing. So I call them
Speaker 1: invisible beliefs beautiful. So everybody has invisible beliefs. They're they're
Speaker 1: controlling your life, and the only way to get them
Speaker 1: to stop controlling your life is actually figure out what
Speaker 1: they are. And so I gave four questions that two
Speaker 1: of them I just straight stole from Albert Einstein. And
Speaker 1: it's the most important decision every person will make in
Speaker 1: their life is whether they live in a friendly or
Speaker 1: a hostile universe. So just make it a question, right,
Speaker 1: do you live in a friendly or a hostile universe?
Speaker 1: And so the point and I'll go through all four,
Speaker 1: but the point was that if you ask these four questions,
Speaker 1: and they're just the tip of the iceberg, but if
Speaker 1: you ask these four questions, you're going to begin to
Speaker 1: identify your frame of reference. Basically, just trying to get
Speaker 1: people to frame themselves is either optimistic or pessimistic, which
Speaker 1: I think is sort of the big ham handed like,
Speaker 1: first thing you need to become aware of. So first, um,
Speaker 1: do you live in a hostile or friendly universe? Another
Speaker 1: Einstein one? Is everything a miracle? Or is nothing a miracle? Right?
Speaker 1: Because you get to choose, So neither one of those
Speaker 1: is objectively real, but you pick, and it's really going
Speaker 1: to color how you love it. Yeah, And then number three,
Speaker 1: can you do anything you set your mind to without limitation?
Speaker 1: Or are there certain things you can't comprehend? And then
Speaker 1: number four I'm forgetting right now, so I won't waste
Speaker 1: time because you get the Yeah, I get it. I
Speaker 1: love them brilliant questions. So what like they're woefully incomplete,
Speaker 1: So what could we add to that that would really
Speaker 1: bring this home for people? So if that gets them
Speaker 1: optimistic pessimistic? What other at a really high level, what
Speaker 1: are other things that people could immediately switch or in
Speaker 1: fact would immediately switch if they change, you know, the
Speaker 1: people that they're hanging around. But like, let's really get
Speaker 1: real about what some of those things are. So optimism, pessimism,
Speaker 1: what else? So for me, there's two questions that I
Speaker 1: had to ask myself that that really changed what I do.
Speaker 1: One of my big questions is what advice would I
Speaker 1: give to my younger self. It's huge because I think
Speaker 1: that's the stuff that we regret, that's the stuff that
Speaker 1: we wish we were doing. That's the stuff that has
Speaker 1: been lost in the noise. When you ask someone what
Speaker 1: advice would you give to you a younger self? The
Speaker 1: number one answer is I wish I studied this, I
Speaker 1: wish I tried this out. I wish I gave this
Speaker 1: a go. You know, those are the all things that
Speaker 1: somebody didn't do. Yeah, it's all things that things people
Speaker 1: didn't do. It's always like something that either should have
Speaker 1: started or didn't continue. And that's really tapping into someone's voice, right,
Speaker 1: that's really tapping into what someone really wants to do.
Speaker 1: And you're going way beyond just like, oh what do
Speaker 1: you like? What are you passionate about? So hard to
Speaker 1: answer that sometimes, especially if you're drowning. Does that add
Speaker 1: to your questions or not? What's really interesting? Now? I
Speaker 1: need to know what your answer was. So I used
Speaker 1: to be I used to do a lot of spoken word.
Speaker 1: When I grew up, I read the dictionary. I read
Speaker 1: the thesaurus. I loved language. That's what I was fascinated by,
Speaker 1: and for some reason I gave it up. Then I
Speaker 1: found out about monk life. They came a monk. And
Speaker 1: then almost back ten years on, at twenty eight, I
Speaker 1: was going I asked myself that question, and my answer was,
Speaker 1: I miss words, I miss expressiveness. I missed sharing a
Speaker 1: message in stories through incredible language and ideas, potential rhymes,
Speaker 1: but flow and all of these things. So that was
Speaker 1: the answer to my question. One of the biggest answers
Speaker 1: was I wish I never stopped right When did you
Speaker 1: ask that question? I was actually twenty eight two two
Speaker 1: years ago. Here's the thing, then, I will tell you
Speaker 1: right now that your content, your content is like the
Speaker 1: modern version of spoken word. So I don't know if
Speaker 1: that's on purpose or an accident, but like there's an accident.
Speaker 1: Watching it, I was like, if he is doing this
Speaker 1: off the cuff, I have to hate myself a little. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And if he's writing it down, he performs it so
Speaker 1: well that it feels off the cuff, but it's very impressive.
Speaker 1: So I'm genuinely touts coming from now. Now here's the thing.
Speaker 1: Like look, and I love giving compliments when they're real,
Speaker 1: but more importantly, you compliment the thing that you want
Speaker 1: to reinforce in somebody. So you've got a mission. I
Speaker 1: find it very interesting, which is can we make knowledge
Speaker 1: my word, I don't remember what word you use, wisdom perfect?
Speaker 1: So can we make wisdom spread as far and as
Speaker 1: fast as entertainment? Which is so similar to what I'm
Speaker 1: trying to change people's beliefs through entertainment. So I recognize
Speaker 1: the kindred soul right away, and then just watching the content,
Speaker 1: I'm like, WHOA like it's I'm not surprised the number
Speaker 1: of views that you've gotten because it's songs work because
Speaker 1: they make you feel an emotion, but they also tap
Speaker 1: into whatever it is about humans, whatever it is that
Speaker 1: we convey through rhythm. So and before the cameras were
Speaker 1: rule and we were talking about it. So the one
Speaker 1: thing that makes me very uncomfortable I do the same
Speaker 1: called impact quotes. And impact quotes is the first time
Speaker 1: where I allowed myself to perform where I'm knowingly I
Speaker 1: would not say it like this if you and I
Speaker 1: were standing next to each other, right this is for
Speaker 1: the camera. I know how it's going to be edited.
Speaker 1: I know we're going to add music to it, so
Speaker 1: it is a performance, but it's also some of our
Speaker 1: best performing content. So it's like what you were saying
Speaker 1: earlier about Look, I just accept that not everybody geeks
Speaker 1: out on neuroscience, and so I have to understand like
Speaker 1: who my audience is and give them something in a
Speaker 1: way that will then resonate and go viral. And so
Speaker 1: I think acknowledging that's really interesting. So anyway, I'm responding
Speaker 1: just to what you were saying about that, because your
Speaker 1: life seems to be an echo of that answer. All right,
Speaker 1: So there's a few more things you have to get.
Speaker 1: I'm here, I'm here, I'm I'm loving this and if
Speaker 1: you're loving it. So there are three questions that you
Speaker 1: get asked a lot. What are they? The big one
Speaker 1: is how do I find my passion? Okay, and you
Speaker 1: can tell me the quote. I need you to answer
Speaker 1: each one of them. Yeah, but if you want to
Speaker 1: run through what each of the questions are and then
Speaker 1: go back, yeah, no, I'll just do them as they are.
Speaker 1: So how do I find my passion? My simple model,
Speaker 1: which is the dharma model. It also dharma means eternal
Speaker 1: duty in the Vedic tradition. It's very similar to what
Speaker 1: ikey guys being spoken about today, which is a Japanese
Speaker 1: version of reason for being? Why do we live? Where
Speaker 1: is meaning coming from? And it talks about an intersect
Speaker 1: of four areas. What am I good at? What do
Speaker 1: I love? What does the world need? And how do
Speaker 1: I get paid for it? To me, those four help
Speaker 1: your unlock your passion. When you find the intersect across
Speaker 1: all of those four, you're making your passion your purpose.
Speaker 1: You'll unlock your passion, You'll find your purpose. This is
Speaker 1: path one. There's two paths. Path one, I find my
Speaker 1: skill set and I engage it to help other people
Speaker 1: and become better at it. So I'm becoming better at
Speaker 1: what I'm good at, and I'm using it to help
Speaker 1: other people because I'm aware of what I'm quite good at,
Speaker 1: and I know what knowledge I have, what skills I have.
Speaker 1: I have some self awareness. The other path that people
Speaker 1: often miss, actually I just start serving people. I just
Speaker 1: start helping people, and I start to notice what I
Speaker 1: enjoy about that and what I'm good at helping people with.
Speaker 1: So that's Gandhi's part. Gandhi said that you find yourself
Speaker 1: when you lose yourself in the service of others. So
Speaker 1: for me, those are the two paths of how do
Speaker 1: I find my passion and finding the intersect between those
Speaker 1: four areas. And the second one is Jay, my relationships
Speaker 1: falling apart. I get asked that all the time, So
Speaker 1: the answer to that is much harder, it's harder to
Speaker 1: summarize it. But I always start with self actualization that
Speaker 1: the problem is we have a list for the one
Speaker 1: that we want, and we don't have a list for
Speaker 1: what we need to become. And I don't mean become
Speaker 1: to attract, I mean become to just be, to just
Speaker 1: get to understand yourself. You don't know what you need
Speaker 1: in your life until you figure out who you are.
Speaker 1: And so I find too many people rush into relationships
Speaker 1: without really recognizing and being fully aware of what they
Speaker 1: need from a relationship. So it all comes back to
Speaker 1: how aware are you? How much understanding do you have
Speaker 1: of yourself and what you need and what you want.
Speaker 1: That's my best advice for relationship in like a minute.
Speaker 1: And then the third question I mostly get asked is Jay,
Speaker 1: what do you read? Like? What are your favorite books?
Speaker 1: Because it seems you read a lot, what are your
Speaker 1: top three books? They're not groundbreaking in the sense that
Speaker 1: people may not be like, oh my god, that's the
Speaker 1: best book I've ever read. For me, they change my life.
Speaker 1: So that's where I'm coming at a point from I
Speaker 1: love start with why by sermon sink, and not because
Speaker 1: I applied it to businesses, because I applied it to
Speaker 1: my life. And even today, I'm constantly refining my why.
Speaker 1: That's all I do every day. My deepest morning routine
Speaker 1: and practice is to refine why I do what I do.
Speaker 1: It's so easy for me to now do it for money,
Speaker 1: It's so easy for me to now do it for followers,
Speaker 1: it's so easy for me to now do it for fame.
Speaker 1: And every day I have to refine that because I know,
Speaker 1: having lived as a monk and what I practice, that
Speaker 1: if those become what I then I'll forget who I
Speaker 1: need to be. So my daily practice and my daily
Speaker 1: routine is refining my intention, which in modern language is why.
Speaker 1: So for me, Simon's book helped me do that. The
Speaker 1: bugwad Geita, which I would love to do for Vedic knowledge,
Speaker 1: what Ryan's done for Stoicism, and the bugwad geta over
Speaker 1: five thousand years old, and that book really exemplifies human challenge.
Speaker 1: Third book, I'd say this one's going to be hard
Speaker 1: because it's the last one. Let me think I'm gonna
Speaker 1: try to throw something else in there. So I've done
Speaker 1: one like self development, one more spiritual enlightened. Man, let
Speaker 1: me throw a business book in, seeing as I'm sure
Speaker 1: you have a lot of business viewyears. I love the
Speaker 1: book Exponential Organizations. I don't know if you read it
Speaker 1: by Silly Mischmael and the Singularity University, and that book,
Speaker 1: for me, is an incredible analysis of this success of
Speaker 1: all the organizations we see ruling our phone today. The
Speaker 1: way it breaks down their business models and how they
Speaker 1: were created, to me, it's fascinating. So if anyone really
Speaker 1: wants to start up an exponential business today, then that's
Speaker 1: where they have to go. And that's when Peter Demandis
Speaker 1: said that if you want to be a billionaire, redefining
Speaker 1: it as someone who impacts the lives of a billion people.
Speaker 1: And that's what that business book is really about, is
Speaker 1: how do you create an exponential organization that positively impacts
Speaker 1: a billion people? So those are my three for today.
Speaker 1: It's pretty good. Yeah, I've got one more. I want
Speaker 1: to hear you talk about ease. Oh what are they?
Speaker 1: Why do they matter? So? For me, my three ease
Speaker 1: are element, environment, and energy. Everyone has an element that
Speaker 1: they thrive in. If you take someone out of it
Speaker 1: their element, they won't be the same. Modern day example
Speaker 1: would be Michael Jordan. He was incredible at basketball. He
Speaker 1: took him out of basketball, put him into baseball. No
Speaker 1: one remembers his career. We're talking about one of the
Speaker 1: best athletes of all time. You vi, vironment is the
Speaker 1: environment around you. You can take a fish out of
Speaker 1: water and give it a beautiful mansion and a Bentley
Speaker 1: and all the money in the world, but it will die.
Speaker 1: And that's what we are. Like our environment. Everyone needs
Speaker 1: an environment which they thrive, which we have to craft.
Speaker 1: Your boss, if you're at work, is never going to
Speaker 1: ask you, hey, what environment do you succeed in? Right?
Speaker 1: Like that never happens. So we have to create an
Speaker 1: environment where we thrive. And then finally it's energy. We
Speaker 1: some of us love high energy environments, high pressure. Some
Speaker 1: of us succeed in lower energy environments and low pressure.
Speaker 1: Figuring out your energy and the frequency on which you
Speaker 1: operate best will help you thrive as well. So for me,
Speaker 1: those are the three ease to really create a thriving environment.
Speaker 1: No your element, No your environment, and know your energy
Speaker 1: and so on all times. If I see anything going wrong,
Speaker 1: I'm going is my element out of alignment? Is my
Speaker 1: environment out of alignment? Or is my energy out of alignment?
Speaker 1: And that's a great three question test you can do
Speaker 1: to yourself when you don't think things are going right,
Speaker 1: and all you have to do is bring that back
Speaker 1: into alignment. I love that, all right? Before I ask
Speaker 1: my last question, where can these guys find you? Online? Absolutely,
Speaker 1: you can find me in my favorite place for you
Speaker 1: to find me. If you see the most of his Facebook,
Speaker 1: I'm Jay Chett. On Instagram I'm Jay Chatty as well,
Speaker 1: there's my two basic two best places YouTube as well,
Speaker 1: Jay Chetti Twitter j Chetti. So it's just yes, Jetty
Speaker 1: on any platform that you're on, I'm probably there. Awesome,
Speaker 1: all right. What's the impact that you want to have
Speaker 1: on the world. I think you've you've you've said it
Speaker 1: so beautifully so many times and shared my vision, which
Speaker 1: is wonderful and it's wonderful to know that we share
Speaker 1: the same thing. It's making wisdom go viral. There's an
Speaker 1: incredible study in twenty seventeen that said the most successful
Speaker 1: people in the world, healthy, wealthy, and wise choose education
Speaker 1: over entertainment. The impact I want to have from the
Speaker 1: world is I want to transform and revolutionize the entertainment
Speaker 1: industry so that it becomes educational without anyone knowing. So
Speaker 1: it's still completely entertaining. It's still like watching Netflix, but
Speaker 1: you're learning about human behavior, the mind, neuroscience, and everything
Speaker 1: without even knowing you are. To me, that's the greatest
Speaker 1: win that we can have for our society. How many
Speaker 1: people are going to quit watching Netflix and reading a
Speaker 1: book every night, I don't know. But if we can
Speaker 1: make that book come to life on Netflix, that's going
Speaker 1: to change the world because that's what people are going
Speaker 1: to consume. So for so long media has been used
Speaker 1: to numb people, to switch people off. If we can
Speaker 1: use it to excite, elevate, and enlighten people, not by
Speaker 1: just not by like the cheesy way of like, oh,
Speaker 1: let's follow someone through their journey of enlightenment. It's not
Speaker 1: like that kind of stuff. I mean like really entertaining
Speaker 1: programming where you can learn by being entertained. At the
Speaker 1: same time, if I can do that by changing the
Speaker 1: most powerful industry in the world, then I will feel
Speaker 1: that I've had some whatever impact because that way, I
Speaker 1: think we'll reach the world without having to get to
Speaker 1: change their habits too much. My thing is how do
Speaker 1: we meet people where they are and and really deliver
Speaker 1: a message and a powerful expression of love. And to me,
Speaker 1: that's the highest form of compassion, the highest form of empathy,
Speaker 1: love and compassion is to meet people where they already are,
Speaker 1: rather than expecting them to change. And yeah, that's the
Speaker 1: impact I'd like to have on the world. So fingers crossed,
Speaker 1: with your help, with the help of everyone who's watching.
Speaker 1: You know, it's going to be a team effort. I
Speaker 1: can't do it on my own. I'm not expecting to.
Speaker 1: But yeah, that's that's the impact I'd like to have
Speaker 1: on the world. That's awesome, incredible, thank you, thank you.
Speaker 1: All right, guys, I'm telling you, when you look at
Speaker 1: a tribe of people, everybody has different roles and there's
Speaker 1: always somebody whose job it is to go out to
Speaker 1: experience the world to bring back the wisdom in a
Speaker 1: form that has been digested and made easy for other
Speaker 1: people to take away. Jay Shetty is that man. Go
Speaker 1: watch this content. It is somebody who has gone out
Speaker 1: into the world, who's been a monk, who's worked at
Speaker 1: accenture and everywhere in between, and come back with a
Speaker 1: real ability to explain what is going on. And he
Speaker 1: does it from a position of not trying to seem
Speaker 1: smarter than you or better than you, but just that
Speaker 1: that's his role. Some people are musicians, some people are
Speaker 1: the doctors, and some people break down the information. I
Speaker 1: really think he has unique access to the wisdom as
Speaker 1: he calls it, to understand what people are trying to
Speaker 1: encapsulate in the books, modern or ancient, and his ability
Speaker 1: to articulate that in a way that feels like modern rap,
Speaker 1: spoken word, whatever you want to think of it as
Speaker 1: it is in and of itself an artistic creation, so
Speaker 1: you cannot go wrong diving into it. It is not
Speaker 1: a mistake that he's had over a billion views in
Speaker 1: less than twelve months, which is insanity. So go check
Speaker 1: his stuff out, hit him up, ask him questions, keep
Speaker 1: an eye because I think he's going to be one
Speaker 1: of the greats at really digesting that information. And really
Speaker 1: helping wisdom go by. All right, guys, if you haven't already,
Speaker 1: be sure to subscribe. And until next time, my friends
Speaker 1: be legendary, take care much. Thank you so much for
Speaker 1: listening to that episode. I hope you enjoyed it. I
Speaker 1: really really appreciate you being here. We have got some
Speaker 1: incredible guests and incredible Friday Solo episodes coming. Please please
Speaker 1: subscribe so you do not miss out. There are some
Speaker 1: huge announcements coming, stay tuned. I appreciate you. Thank you
Speaker 1: so much