Speaker 1: Hello everybody, and welcome to cheek Ease and Chill. I
Speaker 1: have some very exciting news to share. So Apple Podcasts
Speaker 1: has this program called Spotlight. Basically, they pick one podcast
Speaker 1: they love and highlight it for an entire month so
Speaker 1: that more people can find it. That's right. Apple's editorial
Speaker 1: team listens to thousands of podcasts and they chose cheek
Speaker 1: Ease and Chill. It's the first I Heart podcast to
Speaker 1: be highlighted, so I'm super excited about this. So if
Speaker 1: it's your first time listening to the show, welcome, and
Speaker 1: I'm so happy you're here. And if you've been with
Speaker 1: me for a while, you know how I feel about you. A.
Speaker 1: Chickens and Chill is my comfort zone. I talk about
Speaker 1: anything and everything. Since I have you here, I wanted
Speaker 1: to remind you of some of my favorite episodes. We
Speaker 1: have one on cheating a betrayal, losing my mom Jenny,
Speaker 1: and a really important one with my fertility doctor on
Speaker 1: freezing my eggs. And of course I've had interviews with
Speaker 1: some special guests, so be sure to check those out too.
Speaker 1: New episodes drop every month to you guys, rage subscribe
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Speaker 1: This is why I feel it's a little bit more
Speaker 1: quote unquote normal to a certain extent, you know, still
Speaker 1: in like our Latino families, having children later on in
Speaker 1: life is kind of like it was therapy during the
Speaker 1: pregnancy and then after pregnancy because of postpartum, and yes,
Speaker 1: it is something that we don't talk about. My mom
Speaker 1: would be like, no nap, and I would just think,
Speaker 1: I really want my parents around when I have children,
Speaker 1: you know. But then I thought I had plenty of times.
Speaker 1: How is everyone doing. I'm feeling pretty good. It's another
Speaker 1: day I get to take my Chickens and Chill podcast,
Speaker 1: so I'm very happy. Today we're talking about family values
Speaker 1: in the Latin X community and some of the pressures
Speaker 1: that come along with that. This is something I know
Speaker 1: a lot of people will have experienced. And I have
Speaker 1: the perfect guest for this episode, so let's jump right
Speaker 1: into it. This is chick Ease and Chill today. I
Speaker 1: have the pleasure of speaking with Evalency Garios. She's a
Speaker 1: good friend of mine and I call her and she's
Speaker 1: also an on air personality. So me, how are you?
Speaker 1: I am so happy to be part of your podcast.
Speaker 1: I love that you know, you always take the time
Speaker 1: to invite me and to include me to all your
Speaker 1: amazing projects, and I just always learned so much from you.
Speaker 1: So thank you for having me. And I love your
Speaker 1: audience too, and I hope we can all just grow together.
Speaker 1: Thank you, my love. No, it's a pleasure. I love
Speaker 1: what you do. You're good at it. So I was like,
Speaker 1: I have to have my evalence on there because of
Speaker 1: the topic, obviously, but before we get there, just for
Speaker 1: those that may not know who you are, Eencaios explained
Speaker 1: to me who you are, where you grew up up
Speaker 1: or explained to us Messana, where you from your family,
Speaker 1: and also how did you get into like the media space.
Speaker 1: So I grew up in al Serina, which is northeast
Speaker 1: del A. I come from a Mexican family. My parents
Speaker 1: both are from Sinaloa State in Mexico. I grew up
Speaker 1: at home speaking Spanish. I actually went to school Elserina
Speaker 1: Elementary Elcerina, whe I stayed in the same community until
Speaker 1: basically I went to college. But at home you would
Speaker 1: just speak Spanish. That was my first language. And back
Speaker 1: then there was like some type of law where you
Speaker 1: were able to have Spanish classes to like I had.
Speaker 1: I was in Spanish classes to like third grade, so
Speaker 1: I learned how to read, write, and speak Spanish before English.
Speaker 1: So in fourth grade it was like, Okay, now it's
Speaker 1: all English, and I was so scared. I was like,
Speaker 1: how is this gonna work? Same? But now I'm so
Speaker 1: grateful for that because at home it's always been Spanish.
Speaker 1: At school, you know, the first years it was all Spanish.
Speaker 1: So I think that's helped me in my career. Now.
Speaker 1: I grew up very proud of it. But then when
Speaker 1: I got to middle school, I was a little ashamed
Speaker 1: of like my dad pulling up dropping me off at school,
Speaker 1: listening to like no. And then you grew up that way,
Speaker 1: and when I talk to young kids, I'm like it's normal.
Speaker 1: Even to parents now, I'm like, it's normal. We all
Speaker 1: go through that phase where we're like, can we just
Speaker 1: kind of blend in with with everything with culture, But
Speaker 1: once you grew up, you you're proud of it. So
Speaker 1: I grew up proud of it and then kind of
Speaker 1: like I just want to listen to and sync and
Speaker 1: you know, Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears. And then once
Speaker 1: I got to college, I went to cal State Northridge.
Speaker 1: I really was just so proud of our food, of
Speaker 1: our music. I you know, I was proud of saying
Speaker 1: where my parents were from. And it's just a beautiful thing.
Speaker 1: And I think it's it's it's now that I'm older,
Speaker 1: I embrace it more. And what did your major in
Speaker 1: political science? So I wanted to be in immigration lawyer.
Speaker 1: So when I first graduated from Kelsey Morthards, I actually
Speaker 1: um worked at the courthouse for a few years helping
Speaker 1: people with cases of divorce domestic violence. And I loved
Speaker 1: it at first, and then there was so much need
Speaker 1: for help. So I always felt like, what if my
Speaker 1: parents needed this, I want to be that person that helps.
Speaker 1: But then I got to a point where I was like,
Speaker 1: all right, I'm over it, Like I can't do this anymore,
Speaker 1: Like this is I got to a point where I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm never gonna get married, Like people just end up
Speaker 1: fighting over the dogs and like the sofa. Try to
Speaker 1: get out of here. And I ended up starting to
Speaker 1: help a friend with her PR company, and then she
Speaker 1: started just having me organized her files and from there,
Speaker 1: like the next week, I was writing media alert and
Speaker 1: PR like releases and I was like, I really like this,
Speaker 1: and she had artists that you know, She's like, okay,
Speaker 1: they have a red carpet, like go walk with them,
Speaker 1: and I'm like all right, Like I can't do that.
Speaker 1: So I kind of got to see the industry. And yeah,
Speaker 1: they ended up giving me, you know, three to seven
Speaker 1: pm radio l A for regional Mexican. But it's because again,
Speaker 1: I love the music. When you grow up around music
Speaker 1: all the time, I mean, you just know the sounds,
Speaker 1: like I mean, it becomes part of you, the instrumento
Speaker 1: and I've never I mean, I wish Peto, no No, Nona,
Speaker 1: lomeoes mass elego. I love it that you that's how
Speaker 1: you started. That's that's freaking dope. That's interesting. And now
Speaker 1: now you're a mommy I am, and a wife. Yes,
Speaker 1: the pandemic totally changed all of us, I feel in
Speaker 1: different ways. And in my case, I think I was
Speaker 1: on the go, go go go go, Yes, yes, yes
Speaker 1: for work, I'll travel here, I'll do this, Yes, I'll
Speaker 1: cover that, no problem. And I was working a lot
Speaker 1: and I'm glad I got to do that. But then
Speaker 1: when the pandemic came, I was like, all right, I'm
Speaker 1: thirty something. I'm not gonna say how how old I am,
Speaker 1: but I'm thirty something. And you and I had already
Speaker 1: been talking about freezing our eggs and this, and you know,
Speaker 1: you've been very open and vocal about that situation. So
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, like, let me know,
Speaker 1: cheecken is how that goes? Because I think I might
Speaker 1: do it. And then the pandemic comes and I was like,
Speaker 1: I really want to have kids, like this is it? Like?
Speaker 1: I want them a family? So it's planned in my head.
Speaker 1: It was my partners don't love it. You know, for me,
Speaker 1: it was important to me. It was like I'm ready,
Speaker 1: like I want, I want this, and so when the opportunity,
Speaker 1: well not the opportunity, but when it was the right timing,
Speaker 1: it happened. And now I'm a mom and work was priority.
Speaker 1: Now my child was priority, your child, And we talk
Speaker 1: about it a lot because you're like it's a lot
Speaker 1: juggling being you know, a mother that works. Did you
Speaker 1: wait later to have children later on in life? Was
Speaker 1: it intentional? Was it because you were just more career oriented?
Speaker 1: I just don't think I ever met like the right
Speaker 1: person that was like in the right state of mind
Speaker 1: for me to actually say, wow, I can see myself
Speaker 1: having a child with this person. And I think with
Speaker 1: you know, my current husband, because we got married during
Speaker 1: the pandemic too, we just got along in the professional level,
Speaker 1: and he actually believes in me and supports what I do.
Speaker 1: So he was always very like, oh, yeah, go to
Speaker 1: that concert, yeah that interview, and other people that I
Speaker 1: dated were always kind of jealous, like, wait, you got
Speaker 1: too close to that artist. So I kind of was like,
Speaker 1: all right, with this guy, I can really do it
Speaker 1: because he believes in me, and he knows what I
Speaker 1: do for a living, and he respects what I do
Speaker 1: for a living. You know, I'm around a bunch of
Speaker 1: guys all the time, and for someone to have the
Speaker 1: confidence to be okay with it, so yeah, I just
Speaker 1: I think I didn't do it before because of that,
Speaker 1: because I think it's very important and now more than
Speaker 1: ever I tell people Ikey Wilkin say, and because it's
Speaker 1: honestly the most important job I think I will ever have.
Speaker 1: He is now my responsibility to raise a little boy
Speaker 1: who is happy, who believes in himself, who respects others.
Speaker 1: Like the world we live in, this generation of children
Speaker 1: is going to change what's happening. So it's up to us,
Speaker 1: the new parents, the people having kids now, to raise
Speaker 1: kids that are loving, that are empathetic. That's exactly what
Speaker 1: I need. So I'm I feel like there's a lot
Speaker 1: of my plate right now. You know I've been and
Speaker 1: that's what I was gonna tell you. You celebrated his
Speaker 1: his first year, his first year, and my first year
Speaker 1: as a mom too, because I'm a whole different person now.
Speaker 1: You know I'm postpartum and I've told you this before.
Speaker 1: Postpartum really got got me good the first time. Yea,
Speaker 1: and a lot of people don't talk about it. There's
Speaker 1: postpartum depression and postparton like anxiety, and you say postparton,
Speaker 1: people think, oh she was depressed. People do get that.
Speaker 1: In my case, I didn't get to that point, but
Speaker 1: I was scared of everything. So it's only been a
Speaker 1: few months that I started feeling better. And now I'm
Speaker 1: scared of having another one. But that's why I said
Speaker 1: I was good with one. And now that all of
Speaker 1: those feelings kind of are balanced, I'm like, Okay, do
Speaker 1: I want to have a second child because I'm getting
Speaker 1: older too. I'm glad I waited because now I'm I'm
Speaker 1: in the right state of mind priority as my child,
Speaker 1: but now having a second child, like, how how am
Speaker 1: I going to balance? Am I just gonna go crazy?
Speaker 1: I don't know how moms did it before having five
Speaker 1: six ten dude, my mom five kids? No mom is
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think times have changed, and this
Speaker 1: is why I feel that it's a little bit more
Speaker 1: quote unquote normal to a certain extent, you know, still
Speaker 1: in like our Latino families, having children later on in
Speaker 1: life it's kind of like you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: And it's like, no, like you are in a good
Speaker 1: state of mind where you're like, okay, I can I
Speaker 1: want to raise a good little human versus when we're younger,
Speaker 1: we're still trying to raise ourselves, you know what I mean,
Speaker 1: Which is why I'm like, what's wrong with having kids
Speaker 1: later on in life? One thing that really caught like
Speaker 1: my attention right now was was postpartum because again, especially
Speaker 1: in our community, it's not spoken about enough. It's kind
Speaker 1: of like a taboo. It's you're being weak a lot
Speaker 1: of men, because I've heard it even in my extended family,
Speaker 1: where it's like that it doesn't exist. It's like depression
Speaker 1: like that. No, you guys, it really having a child
Speaker 1: and I haven't had my own, but I lived with
Speaker 1: my sister. Your hormones are out of whack for an
Speaker 1: entire year, and when the baby comes out, you're just
Speaker 1: like a man and having a child, a growing child
Speaker 1: in your body for nine months and they come out
Speaker 1: and they take all your nutrients and you gave them everything.
Speaker 1: You feel a little depleted, is that correct? Very depleted?
Speaker 1: Like I said, your body, physical, emotional, spiritual. You are
Speaker 1: shaken completely and a lot of these emotions are out
Speaker 1: of your control. So that's why it's so important. I mean,
Speaker 1: I seek therapy. I even did therapy during my pregnancy
Speaker 1: just because I was dealing with the whole Here's another thing, right,
Speaker 1: Like it was hard for me too, even though I
Speaker 1: was older, and even though I'm independent and I've always
Speaker 1: had a job, my parents like for me. I was
Speaker 1: stressed over that, and I talked to my parents. I
Speaker 1: was like, listen, this is my choice. I've been wanting
Speaker 1: to have a child, and I'm happy with the decision.
Speaker 1: You guys made your life choices, and they were fined
Speaker 1: by my dad. You could tell it was a little bothered.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm thirty five already, you know, it was
Speaker 1: like a pot com. So it takes a while for
Speaker 1: them because the culture is different, the mentality is different,
Speaker 1: and um, I was dealing with that, like, Okay, when
Speaker 1: I tell my parents that I'm pregnant, my mom was
Speaker 1: perfectly fine. When I tell them, How am I going
Speaker 1: to handle their reaction? I kid did go to therapy
Speaker 1: for that through my pregnancy, and it helped me because
Speaker 1: when I did get a certain reaction, I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm fine, I'm happy, I'm at peace. He'll come back around,
Speaker 1: and he did. They get over it, and then now
Speaker 1: I'm sure he's all in love with the baby. Oh yeah,
Speaker 1: of course it is myste unquote being. But well I'm assuming, like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you know, you had you got pregnant first, and then
Speaker 1: you guys got married, right, we did during the pregnancy.
Speaker 1: I actually I was like, we don't have to do
Speaker 1: it just you know, because I'm pregnant, and he's like, no, like,
Speaker 1: let's do it because when the baby is born, you
Speaker 1: have my last name, and you know, we're a married couple.
Speaker 1: And we were able to make decisions together at the
Speaker 1: hospital and thereafter, you know, not we're a family, and
Speaker 1: so now it's like, oh, we should have a big wedding,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, you know what, I'm happy. Like then
Speaker 1: I'm on the tracas. He's healthy, I'm getting back to
Speaker 1: my rhythm, back to kind of work, dealing with leaving
Speaker 1: the baby for fear. I still cried this morning that
Speaker 1: the moment you have to go back to work. I mean,
Speaker 1: I've have friends that say they were really happy to
Speaker 1: go back to work because those hours give them like
Speaker 1: freedom and independence. In my case, I still struggle. You know,
Speaker 1: it hurts because you're like, what if he feels like
Speaker 1: I'm a band didn't No, Yeah, I can just imagine.
Speaker 1: So it was therapy during the pregnancy and then after
Speaker 1: pregnancy because of postpartum, and yes, it is something that
Speaker 1: we don't talk about. When it was happening to me,
Speaker 1: I was asking my cousin's like, why did you guys
Speaker 1: say this? Oh, because we don't want you to like
Speaker 1: start stressing over during your pregnancy, but we need to
Speaker 1: know these things, yes, because then you probably think, imagine,
Speaker 1: if we don't talk about it enough, then you think,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm going crazy. And like I lived
Speaker 1: it with Jackie, my sister. I remember I was on
Speaker 1: the other side of the house and the baby was
Speaker 1: yelling on the top of her lens. I was like,
Speaker 1: what is happening. I went to the room. The baby
Speaker 1: was in her little bassonet crying and this was her
Speaker 1: first child, and she was like what twenty one I
Speaker 1: think it was, and actually twenty years old. And she
Speaker 1: was sitting on the floor and she was just like
Speaker 1: this face that I'll never forget and was looking at
Speaker 1: the floor and she was just and I'm like, Jackie,
Speaker 1: what's wrong. She's like, I don't know, like not crying nothing.
Speaker 1: She's like I don't want her. Can we just take
Speaker 1: her to the fire station? I just can't do this.
Speaker 1: And that's when I heard about postpartum. And then my
Speaker 1: mom when we said, she's like, oh, it's postpartum. It's normal,
Speaker 1: like hello, Like okay, well tell us, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. And it was a little bit more talked about,
Speaker 1: but thank goodness, it just lasted a few months, but
Speaker 1: it's very real. And I think one day we need
Speaker 1: to have like a panel of women talking about postpartum
Speaker 1: because no, cissy, they said, low. She said, I feel
Speaker 1: like I'm going crazy. I can't do this. My life
Speaker 1: is changing. It was just too much all at once.
Speaker 1: Her hormones are everywhere. So you know, I do appreciate
Speaker 1: you sharing that. No, I just felt like, okay, can
Speaker 1: I do this? Like? Who am I do? I still
Speaker 1: like the same things that I used to like. And
Speaker 1: it's hard because even now, I mean the baby, like
Speaker 1: I said, he's fourteen months now, but I still don't
Speaker 1: go out with friends. I still don't do things that
Speaker 1: I used to do all the time before. And I
Speaker 1: don't want to be that way. I want to be
Speaker 1: able to have a balance because you still want to
Speaker 1: hang on to the old you because you're fun and
Speaker 1: you felt free. But you also love motherhood, you know,
Speaker 1: having a little mini you run around and you know
Speaker 1: someone that motivates you and it inspires you. Yeah, it's
Speaker 1: all about balance. And it took my my sister a while,
Speaker 1: and I would have to tell her book, get your
Speaker 1: nose down, little things. It doesn't have to be to
Speaker 1: leave the baby all night. I think it's just it's
Speaker 1: question the you know, it's only been fourteen months and
Speaker 1: and a little by little you'll get your little the
Speaker 1: rhythm going. But before, like you had your baby boy.
Speaker 1: He's so cute. You guys, did you feel pressure from
Speaker 1: your parents or from your family or your cousins like
Speaker 1: I did. I felt a lot of pressure, but then
Speaker 1: it got to a point where they wouldn't even ask anymore.
Speaker 1: Like my mom would be like no, and I would
Speaker 1: just think, I really want my parents around when I
Speaker 1: have children, you know. But then I thought I would think,
Speaker 1: like no, well, maybe it's not the right time. Although
Speaker 1: being in my mid thirties, I still felt like I
Speaker 1: had plenty of time, but I did. I felt a
Speaker 1: lot of pressure since my twenties, and now all my
Speaker 1: girl cousins, the ones that are under twenties, I'm like nothing,
Speaker 1: no thing, because I know I have nothing in my system.
Speaker 1: Obviously there's like girls Trips that I would love to join.
Speaker 1: But I do a lot of crazy things before having
Speaker 1: my baby, and so I don't regret anything. I think
Speaker 1: I did it as perfect timing. I think I accomplished
Speaker 1: a lot in my career. I was able to experience
Speaker 1: and enjoy a lot of things, and I dated a lot,
Speaker 1: and I think it was a perfect timing. My mid
Speaker 1: thirties were the perfect timing for me. For some people,
Speaker 1: with their late thirties. For some people is their early forties. Now.
Speaker 1: I just think someone in their twenties you should really
Speaker 1: discover and explore and learn and make mistakes. You're free,
Speaker 1: you can do whatever you want and whatever you put
Speaker 1: you set your mind to. I'm a really firm believer
Speaker 1: that we are unstoppable, especially like Latina women. Man, we
Speaker 1: have everything going for ourselves. Hell yeah. I mean power
Speaker 1: to everyone that had kids in their twenties these the
Speaker 1: best is yet to come. I mean, if that's your prerogative,
Speaker 1: more power to you. You know, if you want to
Speaker 1: get married young. I I just in my personal experience,
Speaker 1: I mean growing up my grandparents, especially because I was
Speaker 1: the oldest grandchild, it was okay, and I'm like, uh
Speaker 1: when they see me, and I felt like a lot
Speaker 1: of pressure, Like but I'm like, oh my god, Like
Speaker 1: I helped my mom with the kids, and how am
Speaker 1: I going to juggle it? And I at a point
Speaker 1: I'm like, well, okay, well maybe I should to please them.
Speaker 1: And personally, I'm glad that I didn't. I mean, it
Speaker 1: would have been a blessing regardless, but I'm glad that
Speaker 1: I that I waited because the one that's gonna take
Speaker 1: care of the baby is me, you know what I mean. Like,
Speaker 1: so I was like, I'm glad and I'm okay with now,
Speaker 1: because for a long time I felt guilty, I felt selfish.
Speaker 1: Someone in my family once told me, well, that's what
Speaker 1: you're here for, that's what you were made for, is
Speaker 1: for you to reproduce. And I'm like, excuse me, that's
Speaker 1: not all I am, you know what I mean. And
Speaker 1: and now I'm like, I'm good with my decision. I'm
Speaker 1: probably going to be that girl that's going to have
Speaker 1: her baby and her late thirties, her early forties, and
Speaker 1: I'm okay with that. That's like, I feel like the
Speaker 1: new thing. And it needs to be a little bit
Speaker 1: more normalized in our culture because I see, because of
Speaker 1: that pressure, how many divorces there are, and because you
Speaker 1: marry the wrong person to please your family, how many
Speaker 1: people stay in relationships for their children. So many people
Speaker 1: in the family that I know are miserable, but they're like,
Speaker 1: you know, you know, they haven't feel you just see
Speaker 1: it in our culture so much, and and people are miserable.
Speaker 1: For me, I'm in a good place where now I
Speaker 1: can say, you know what, I'm able to have my
Speaker 1: little casa for my child, pay for daycare. I'm able
Speaker 1: to give them the time. Um, you know, if if
Speaker 1: I want to, I can travel with with my child.
Speaker 1: There's no pressure from anyone anymore. It's kind of like exacto.
Speaker 1: I graduated to hear the cal State Northridge. I always
Speaker 1: felt like I can get whatever job I want, I
Speaker 1: can go anywhere. We're bilingual. To man, it's a blessing.
Speaker 1: We can do so many things. So many women with
Speaker 1: their own businesses now, you know. So I feel like
Speaker 1: it's important to establish that and then after that, you know,
Speaker 1: it's okay to have kids after that. Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be honest, I don't know right now, in
Speaker 1: this moment if I can conceive ever because of my endometriosis.
Speaker 1: Because the last time I went to see my fertility
Speaker 1: doctor he said that I have no say I'm not
Speaker 1: producing enough egg. You know, I person gonn elite. Don't
Speaker 1: let that affect me, because you know, I believe in God,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, look, it's going to happen. If God
Speaker 1: wants me to get pregnant and have a child, I'm
Speaker 1: going to have it no matter what doctors say, I'm
Speaker 1: curious to see what you have to say in regards
Speaker 1: to maybe women that can't conceive. Do you feel like
Speaker 1: adoption is an option for me? There is, But in
Speaker 1: our culture a lot of people are kind of like,
Speaker 1: how are you going to adopt someone that's a child
Speaker 1: that's not yours? What do you think about that? I
Speaker 1: think that if you, if people want to adopt, go
Speaker 1: for it. There's so many children that need the love,
Speaker 1: that need a family, that need a home, and so
Speaker 1: people that adopt more power to them. And I'm also
Speaker 1: all about trying everything. They I would go visit that
Speaker 1: lately if I needed to, you know, Mama Juan, get
Speaker 1: them to my eatic, But I would try why not?
Speaker 1: And the Halloween oh yes, oh yeah, because of you
Speaker 1: remember you're killing little baby. You're like, I was like,
Speaker 1: let him, let him come in you and then just
Speaker 1: put your legs up for a little while. And she
Speaker 1: did it. Guys, how it works. I had forgotten right that.
Speaker 1: I'm like that, I'm the type of person you'll do it.
Speaker 1: And hell yeah, like I will go see somewhere in
Speaker 1: Mexico or find one here in l A. I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna have a baby. Because I don't have a baby.
Speaker 1: The Lord is gonna make it happen. I'm a light
Speaker 1: of candle. So I agree with you. I agree with you.
Speaker 1: I just wanted I was curious to see what you
Speaker 1: thought about that. And now let's talk about age, because
Speaker 1: I heard you right now. You're like, I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: say how old I am. Do you feel that in
Speaker 1: our culture that they've made us feel the older we get,
Speaker 1: the less viable we are. No thesa, you know, na.
Speaker 1: They just have their own mind. They have an attitude
Speaker 1: and this and that. And I was like, I looked
Speaker 1: at him, I was like what, But it's true. When
Speaker 1: you're thirty, you're like, I know who I am, I
Speaker 1: know what I want. Like for your age, do you
Speaker 1: feel like shit, like, are you proud of it? I'm
Speaker 1: very proud of it. I'm very proud of it. In
Speaker 1: my twenties again, because you're immature, because you're you're more
Speaker 1: vulnerable for people to take advantage of you. And when
Speaker 1: you hit thirty, but you're kind they're like, you know why,
Speaker 1: I'm not going to live my life ama, or no,
Speaker 1: you're not going to talk to me that way. Eence, No,
Speaker 1: you know what. Now, See I I pus on the way,
Speaker 1: I said, we figure out a way. We're like cusslers
Speaker 1: were like, okay, don't know. Yeah, And see, this is
Speaker 1: just my opinion. You guys. If you're listening to us
Speaker 1: and you're in your early twenties and you want to
Speaker 1: get married and do whatever you want, my thing is
Speaker 1: just think about it. Who you're going to marry and
Speaker 1: why do it? You know what I mean, for a
Speaker 1: man or a woman. But that's why I feel men
Speaker 1: like younger women bores and this email. Once i'd be
Speaker 1: a little bit like embarrassed, like, oh my age. Now
Speaker 1: I'm like, fuck that. I'm thirty seven. I'm very proud
Speaker 1: of what I've accomplished. I'm very proud of who I am.
Speaker 1: I feel better than ever in my twenties. I thought
Speaker 1: I was popping. Now I'm like, I'm really popping in.
Speaker 1: My plasty is popping into and it's beautiful and I
Speaker 1: don't give it ship. I'm thirty seven, but my vagina
Speaker 1: is like sucking twenty. I don't know it. Just in
Speaker 1: your thirties is something else you guys, like for so
Speaker 1: long you were taught of, like oh my god, the
Speaker 1: older you get, you're not gonna be as desirable and
Speaker 1: this and that, and you have to be young and
Speaker 1: get married young, because that all that is just it's
Speaker 1: out of the window. And I think I have my
Speaker 1: mom to think for that because the older she got,
Speaker 1: she would always say, like in her forties, she's like,
Speaker 1: I feel better than ever in my forties, Like she
Speaker 1: made me appreciate every year that I matured. Now I
Speaker 1: see it that way. I'm maturing, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: I'm growing, I'm evolving. And I think that's another thing
Speaker 1: that once we have our panel show, Evelyn that we've
Speaker 1: been wanting to do for years, we gotta talk about,
Speaker 1: you know, embracing our age. It they not forces, but
Speaker 1: to be the example because they can still change to
Speaker 1: and they can still feel empowered to, and they can
Speaker 1: still walk away from miserable marriages, and they can still
Speaker 1: you know, do surgery if they want to, and enhance
Speaker 1: areas that they want to. Even with my mom, like
Speaker 1: I can try different things like or like let's try this,
Speaker 1: because I know our generation has a lot on our
Speaker 1: plate because we are the game changers for so many things,
Speaker 1: including reality of having kids young. You know, we're not
Speaker 1: doing that now, and it's for the best. We have
Speaker 1: to let go of of of so many things we've
Speaker 1: been carrying through our ancestors. Absolutely. Yeah. I always talk
Speaker 1: about it like, um, you know, breaking generational curses. You know,
Speaker 1: it's okay to be different from the generation before us,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like, I don't have to
Speaker 1: be I don't want to be exactly like them. I
Speaker 1: want to be different. I want to level up and
Speaker 1: hopefully the generation to come, I want to teach them,
Speaker 1: inspire them. This is why I was like this perfect
Speaker 1: if everying evident, because we get each other. I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, I'm done with feeling like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: I'm not a mom yet. The clock is taking some
Speaker 1: and you know, for the women that are listening to me,
Speaker 1: because you are. You know, you have your career, you're
Speaker 1: a wife, motherhood, Like, can you talk to us about
Speaker 1: the realness of how difficult that is? Do you have
Speaker 1: days where you're like shit? Of course, not that you
Speaker 1: know you regret it, of course not. That's not what
Speaker 1: I mean. Because you love your son. I know how
Speaker 1: much you love your son, how much time you want
Speaker 1: to spend with him, But talk to us a little
Speaker 1: bit more about that. It's really really hard, especially when you, um,
Speaker 1: we're really good at something and then all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: so I feel like I'm either going to be really
Speaker 1: good at my job and kind of uh lack in
Speaker 1: motherhood or I'm gonna be mother and slack off at
Speaker 1: my job. So rather right now that the baby is
Speaker 1: still young, I honestly my priority is being a great mother.
Speaker 1: So there's a lot of things, a lot of opportunities
Speaker 1: that I'm missing out on, I feel, but I'm at
Speaker 1: your priority. Yes, I want my baby to know that
Speaker 1: I'm around, that I love him, and I don't want
Speaker 1: him to grow up saying yeah, you gave me everything,
Speaker 1: but you were never around. Obviously we need to work,
Speaker 1: you know, to provide and and and nowadays you really
Speaker 1: do need to incomes to survive, especially in the state
Speaker 1: of California for a mortgage and bills and everything. It's
Speaker 1: really hard when it comes down to balancing. And then
Speaker 1: talking about it how hard it is is also like
Speaker 1: a big thing because then people start saying, was your
Speaker 1: sinco was make a hit any? So you're like, okay,
Speaker 1: I have one, and I am complaining. Maybe I'll just
Speaker 1: shut up. Maybe I won't say how hard it is,
Speaker 1: and I'll cry, you know, in the shower by myself. Yeah. Yeah,
Speaker 1: And I feel guilty too because I know she wants
Speaker 1: to help me, But at the same time, I want
Speaker 1: her to have her freedom and I want her to be,
Speaker 1: you know, with my dad or or to do things,
Speaker 1: you know, not just stay home for those hours that
Speaker 1: I'm working. But I'm very grateful because some people don't
Speaker 1: have family need to help them out and confused mama
Speaker 1: or no, I don't want to stay here for whatever reason.
Speaker 1: Then I think I'm gonna feel better in just leaving
Speaker 1: him in daycare or in you know, noa just maybe
Speaker 1: I should leave work for a while and just take
Speaker 1: care of the baby. But then you're like, wait, no, yeah,
Speaker 1: I can imagine, and and for sure when I have
Speaker 1: my kids that I'm gonna need you to help me
Speaker 1: through through that and help me balance. Great already, you're
Speaker 1: you're wonderful with kids. I love kids. There's no doubt
Speaker 1: in my mind You're gonna be like an incredible, incredible mother.
Speaker 1: Now the challenge for you, I think it's gonna be
Speaker 1: balancing work of the projects that you have, everything that
Speaker 1: that you have going on at first, be when you're
Speaker 1: pregnant or when you're thinking of having kids. You're like,
Speaker 1: oh no, I'm gonna hire someone to help me, and
Speaker 1: I'm still gonna have three months later, I'm gonna be
Speaker 1: back to work. And then three months later comes what
Speaker 1: you think. Huh yeah, you get so attached. I mean,
Speaker 1: I already know the type of mom I'm gonna be,
Speaker 1: which is why I'm like, let me wait a little bit,
Speaker 1: because I'm gonna be straight up. I want to be
Speaker 1: a little selfish right now because I help raise my
Speaker 1: my siblings, so you'll see into I guess it jos
Speaker 1: taking them to school and this and that and the homework,
Speaker 1: and it's just I feel like I've been through it all.
Speaker 1: Obio's defendent. They want to want to. I just know,
Speaker 1: do you have advice for new moms out there trying
Speaker 1: to find that balance, anything that you can tell them,
Speaker 1: talk about your feelings, don't hold anything in. Now I'm
Speaker 1: even more connected to like friends of mine that were
Speaker 1: moms that before I wouldn't be like tempo, but now
Speaker 1: I get it. You know, sometimes you feel like you're
Speaker 1: all alone and reality so many people are going through it,
Speaker 1: and you feel better when you hear how they're coping
Speaker 1: with situations, and you find solutions to certain things by
Speaker 1: hearing other people's experiences. And there's you're never really prepared
Speaker 1: for motherhood, Okay, say see postpartum. You know it's real.
Speaker 1: Exist and to like I said in the beginning, make
Speaker 1: sure you're having children with the right person that's gonna
Speaker 1: treat you right. That you guys have the same values
Speaker 1: and just you know, live life and love it team
Speaker 1: with as you mm hmm. Evelyn, thank you, thank you
Speaker 1: for being on the podcast. Thank you for opening up
Speaker 1: your heart, for being just open about things that we
Speaker 1: go through as Latina women. And you guys please follow
Speaker 1: her on social media. Plug it in where can they
Speaker 1: hear you on the radio? Your social media so that
Speaker 1: people can stay current with you. That's how you find me,
Speaker 1: and that's where you guys will see what I'm doing
Speaker 1: and you know what I'm working on, and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: embrace the process. And I think it's time to also
Speaker 1: take risks. Before I was in my comfort zone. Now
Speaker 1: I'm like, Okayambien with that masses passed your mama. I
Speaker 1: love that, Evelyn. I love I cannot wait to see
Speaker 1: what you have brewing and the ideas that you have,
Speaker 1: because I know we've talked about a few, but I
Speaker 1: can't wait to see what the future holds for you
Speaker 1: and for all of my regular listeners. You already know
Speaker 1: what time it is. It's time for our motivational quote.
Speaker 1: And this is a quote. I think this is the
Speaker 1: first time that we have a Spanish quote. Eliza Claso
Speaker 1: that they've boiled the Emira las esterday. Yes I was
Speaker 1: a guy, Eliza. Thank you guys so much. Evelyn, I
Speaker 1: love you. Thank you so much, my listeners. I love
Speaker 1: you guys with all my heart. I will catch you
Speaker 1: on the next episode of Chickens and Chill. Do you
Speaker 1: need advice on love, relationships, health? Imas. I'm so excited
Speaker 1: to share with you that my Cheeks and Chill podcast
Speaker 1: will have an extra episode drop each week. I'll be
Speaker 1: answering all your questions. Just leave me a voice message.
Speaker 1: All you have to do is go to speak pipe
Speaker 1: dot com slash Cheeks and Chill podcast and record your questions.
Speaker 1: I can't wait to hear from you. This is a
Speaker 1: production of I Heart Radio and the Michael Dura Podcast Network.
Speaker 1: Follow us on Instagram, at Michael Dura Podcasts and follow
Speaker 1: me checks That's c h i q u i s.
Speaker 1: For more podcasts from My Heart, visit the I Heart
Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your
Speaker 1: favorite podcasts.