1 00:00:03,200 --> 00:00:06,760 Speaker 1: Hello everybody, and welcome to cheek Ease and Chill. I 2 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:10,760 Speaker 1: have some very exciting news to share. So Apple Podcasts 3 00:00:10,760 --> 00:00:15,080 Speaker 1: has this program called Spotlight. Basically, they pick one podcast 4 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:17,960 Speaker 1: they love and highlight it for an entire month so 5 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:21,400 Speaker 1: that more people can find it. That's right. Apple's editorial 6 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:24,959 Speaker 1: team listens to thousands of podcasts and they chose cheek 7 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:27,880 Speaker 1: Ease and Chill. It's the first I Heart podcast to 8 00:00:27,920 --> 00:00:31,400 Speaker 1: be highlighted, so I'm super excited about this. So if 9 00:00:31,400 --> 00:00:33,680 Speaker 1: it's your first time listening to the show, welcome, and 10 00:00:33,720 --> 00:00:36,159 Speaker 1: I'm so happy you're here. And if you've been with 11 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:38,720 Speaker 1: me for a while, you know how I feel about you. A. 12 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,840 Speaker 1: Chickens and Chill is my comfort zone. I talk about 13 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:44,640 Speaker 1: anything and everything. Since I have you here, I wanted 14 00:00:44,680 --> 00:00:47,159 Speaker 1: to remind you of some of my favorite episodes. We 15 00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:50,040 Speaker 1: have one on cheating a betrayal, losing my mom Jenny, 16 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:52,600 Speaker 1: and a really important one with my fertility doctor on 17 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:55,560 Speaker 1: freezing my eggs. And of course I've had interviews with 18 00:00:55,600 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 1: some special guests, so be sure to check those out too. 19 00:00:58,560 --> 00:01:01,560 Speaker 1: New episodes drop every month to you guys, rage subscribe 20 00:01:01,600 --> 00:01:04,600 Speaker 1: to Chickens and Chill, don't forget. Now let's start the show. 21 00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:10,000 Speaker 1: This is why I feel it's a little bit more 22 00:01:10,080 --> 00:01:12,759 Speaker 1: quote unquote normal to a certain extent, you know, still 23 00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:15,720 Speaker 1: in like our Latino families, having children later on in 24 00:01:15,760 --> 00:01:19,399 Speaker 1: life is kind of like it was therapy during the 25 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:23,480 Speaker 1: pregnancy and then after pregnancy because of postpartum, and yes, 26 00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:26,839 Speaker 1: it is something that we don't talk about. My mom 27 00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:31,679 Speaker 1: would be like, no nap, and I would just think, 28 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:34,000 Speaker 1: I really want my parents around when I have children, 29 00:01:34,040 --> 00:01:45,840 Speaker 1: you know. But then I thought I had plenty of times. 30 00:01:45,880 --> 00:01:48,720 Speaker 1: How is everyone doing. I'm feeling pretty good. It's another 31 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:51,320 Speaker 1: day I get to take my Chickens and Chill podcast, 32 00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:54,240 Speaker 1: so I'm very happy. Today we're talking about family values 33 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:57,120 Speaker 1: in the Latin X community and some of the pressures 34 00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,440 Speaker 1: that come along with that. This is something I know 35 00:01:59,480 --> 00:02:01,360 Speaker 1: a lot of people will have experienced. And I have 36 00:02:01,440 --> 00:02:04,240 Speaker 1: the perfect guest for this episode, so let's jump right 37 00:02:04,240 --> 00:02:12,840 Speaker 1: into it. This is chick Ease and Chill today. I 38 00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:16,400 Speaker 1: have the pleasure of speaking with Evalency Garios. She's a 39 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:19,880 Speaker 1: good friend of mine and I call her and she's 40 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:25,080 Speaker 1: also an on air personality. So me, how are you? 41 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:29,160 Speaker 1: I am so happy to be part of your podcast. 42 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:31,519 Speaker 1: I love that you know, you always take the time 43 00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:34,520 Speaker 1: to invite me and to include me to all your 44 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:38,440 Speaker 1: amazing projects, and I just always learned so much from you. 45 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:40,960 Speaker 1: So thank you for having me. And I love your 46 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:44,120 Speaker 1: audience too, and I hope we can all just grow together. 47 00:02:45,160 --> 00:02:47,040 Speaker 1: Thank you, my love. No, it's a pleasure. I love 48 00:02:47,080 --> 00:02:49,360 Speaker 1: what you do. You're good at it. So I was like, 49 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,680 Speaker 1: I have to have my evalence on there because of 50 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,160 Speaker 1: the topic, obviously, but before we get there, just for 51 00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:57,800 Speaker 1: those that may not know who you are, Eencaios explained 52 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:00,160 Speaker 1: to me who you are, where you grew up up 53 00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:02,680 Speaker 1: or explained to us Messana, where you from your family, 54 00:03:02,919 --> 00:03:05,040 Speaker 1: and also how did you get into like the media space. 55 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:08,240 Speaker 1: So I grew up in al Serina, which is northeast 56 00:03:08,240 --> 00:03:12,760 Speaker 1: del A. I come from a Mexican family. My parents 57 00:03:12,880 --> 00:03:17,679 Speaker 1: both are from Sinaloa State in Mexico. I grew up 58 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:21,840 Speaker 1: at home speaking Spanish. I actually went to school Elserina 59 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:24,480 Speaker 1: Elementary Elcerina, whe I stayed in the same community until 60 00:03:24,480 --> 00:03:26,720 Speaker 1: basically I went to college. But at home you would 61 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:30,359 Speaker 1: just speak Spanish. That was my first language. And back 62 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:33,560 Speaker 1: then there was like some type of law where you 63 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:37,240 Speaker 1: were able to have Spanish classes to like I had. 64 00:03:37,320 --> 00:03:39,960 Speaker 1: I was in Spanish classes to like third grade, so 65 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:44,000 Speaker 1: I learned how to read, write, and speak Spanish before English. 66 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,760 Speaker 1: So in fourth grade it was like, Okay, now it's 67 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,520 Speaker 1: all English, and I was so scared. I was like, 68 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:51,840 Speaker 1: how is this gonna work? Same? But now I'm so 69 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:55,119 Speaker 1: grateful for that because at home it's always been Spanish. 70 00:03:55,240 --> 00:03:57,880 Speaker 1: At school, you know, the first years it was all Spanish. 71 00:03:57,880 --> 00:04:00,200 Speaker 1: So I think that's helped me in my career. Now. 72 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:03,080 Speaker 1: I grew up very proud of it. But then when 73 00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:05,200 Speaker 1: I got to middle school, I was a little ashamed 74 00:04:05,680 --> 00:04:08,680 Speaker 1: of like my dad pulling up dropping me off at school, 75 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:16,320 Speaker 1: listening to like no. And then you grew up that way, 76 00:04:16,360 --> 00:04:19,080 Speaker 1: and when I talk to young kids, I'm like it's normal. 77 00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:21,680 Speaker 1: Even to parents now, I'm like, it's normal. We all 78 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:24,120 Speaker 1: go through that phase where we're like, can we just 79 00:04:24,279 --> 00:04:27,960 Speaker 1: kind of blend in with with everything with culture, But 80 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:30,800 Speaker 1: once you grew up, you you're proud of it. So 81 00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:33,279 Speaker 1: I grew up proud of it and then kind of 82 00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:35,800 Speaker 1: like I just want to listen to and sync and 83 00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:39,520 Speaker 1: you know, Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears. And then once 84 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:41,760 Speaker 1: I got to college, I went to cal State Northridge. 85 00:04:42,080 --> 00:04:45,400 Speaker 1: I really was just so proud of our food, of 86 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:48,560 Speaker 1: our music. I you know, I was proud of saying 87 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:51,720 Speaker 1: where my parents were from. And it's just a beautiful thing. 88 00:04:51,720 --> 00:04:53,479 Speaker 1: And I think it's it's it's now that I'm older, 89 00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:56,440 Speaker 1: I embrace it more. And what did your major in 90 00:04:57,000 --> 00:05:01,000 Speaker 1: political science? So I wanted to be in immigration lawyer. 91 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:04,720 Speaker 1: So when I first graduated from Kelsey Morthards, I actually 92 00:05:05,240 --> 00:05:07,920 Speaker 1: um worked at the courthouse for a few years helping 93 00:05:07,960 --> 00:05:13,800 Speaker 1: people with cases of divorce domestic violence. And I loved 94 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:16,240 Speaker 1: it at first, and then there was so much need 95 00:05:16,400 --> 00:05:18,800 Speaker 1: for help. So I always felt like, what if my 96 00:05:18,880 --> 00:05:21,320 Speaker 1: parents needed this, I want to be that person that helps. 97 00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:23,039 Speaker 1: But then I got to a point where I was like, 98 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:25,840 Speaker 1: all right, I'm over it, Like I can't do this anymore, 99 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:27,520 Speaker 1: Like this is I got to a point where I'm like, 100 00:05:27,560 --> 00:05:29,760 Speaker 1: I'm never gonna get married, Like people just end up 101 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:32,480 Speaker 1: fighting over the dogs and like the sofa. Try to 102 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:36,039 Speaker 1: get out of here. And I ended up starting to 103 00:05:36,080 --> 00:05:39,240 Speaker 1: help a friend with her PR company, and then she 104 00:05:39,279 --> 00:05:43,040 Speaker 1: started just having me organized her files and from there, 105 00:05:43,120 --> 00:05:45,800 Speaker 1: like the next week, I was writing media alert and 106 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:50,039 Speaker 1: PR like releases and I was like, I really like this, 107 00:05:50,640 --> 00:05:53,159 Speaker 1: and she had artists that you know, She's like, okay, 108 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:54,920 Speaker 1: they have a red carpet, like go walk with them, 109 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:57,479 Speaker 1: and I'm like all right, Like I can't do that. 110 00:05:57,839 --> 00:06:02,440 Speaker 1: So I kind of got to see the industry. And yeah, 111 00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:10,760 Speaker 1: they ended up giving me, you know, three to seven 112 00:06:10,800 --> 00:06:14,559 Speaker 1: pm radio l A for regional Mexican. But it's because again, 113 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:17,880 Speaker 1: I love the music. When you grow up around music 114 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:20,760 Speaker 1: all the time, I mean, you just know the sounds, 115 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:28,800 Speaker 1: like I mean, it becomes part of you, the instrumento 116 00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:37,359 Speaker 1: and I've never I mean, I wish Peto, no No, Nona, 117 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:50,080 Speaker 1: lomeoes mass elego. I love it that you that's how 118 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:52,800 Speaker 1: you started. That's that's freaking dope. That's interesting. And now 119 00:06:52,960 --> 00:06:55,640 Speaker 1: now you're a mommy I am, and a wife. Yes, 120 00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:59,200 Speaker 1: the pandemic totally changed all of us, I feel in 121 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:01,960 Speaker 1: different ways. And in my case, I think I was 122 00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:04,120 Speaker 1: on the go, go go go go, Yes, yes, yes 123 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:06,719 Speaker 1: for work, I'll travel here, I'll do this, Yes, I'll 124 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:09,400 Speaker 1: cover that, no problem. And I was working a lot 125 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:11,440 Speaker 1: and I'm glad I got to do that. But then 126 00:07:11,440 --> 00:07:13,360 Speaker 1: when the pandemic came, I was like, all right, I'm 127 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:15,720 Speaker 1: thirty something. I'm not gonna say how how old I am, 128 00:07:15,800 --> 00:07:19,360 Speaker 1: but I'm thirty something. And you and I had already 129 00:07:19,400 --> 00:07:22,760 Speaker 1: been talking about freezing our eggs and this, and you know, 130 00:07:22,800 --> 00:07:25,680 Speaker 1: you've been very open and vocal about that situation. So 131 00:07:25,720 --> 00:07:27,280 Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, like, let me know, 132 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:29,240 Speaker 1: cheecken is how that goes? Because I think I might 133 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:32,520 Speaker 1: do it. And then the pandemic comes and I was like, 134 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:34,880 Speaker 1: I really want to have kids, like this is it? Like? 135 00:07:35,120 --> 00:07:38,320 Speaker 1: I want them a family? So it's planned in my head. 136 00:07:38,320 --> 00:07:45,000 Speaker 1: It was my partners don't love it. You know, for me, 137 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:47,440 Speaker 1: it was important to me. It was like I'm ready, 138 00:07:47,560 --> 00:07:51,840 Speaker 1: like I want, I want this, and so when the opportunity, 139 00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:55,520 Speaker 1: well not the opportunity, but when it was the right timing, 140 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:59,200 Speaker 1: it happened. And now I'm a mom and work was priority. 141 00:07:59,360 --> 00:08:02,120 Speaker 1: Now my child was priority, your child, And we talk 142 00:08:02,160 --> 00:08:03,840 Speaker 1: about it a lot because you're like it's a lot 143 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:07,720 Speaker 1: juggling being you know, a mother that works. Did you 144 00:08:07,760 --> 00:08:11,520 Speaker 1: wait later to have children later on in life? Was 145 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:14,760 Speaker 1: it intentional? Was it because you were just more career oriented? 146 00:08:15,360 --> 00:08:18,600 Speaker 1: I just don't think I ever met like the right 147 00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:21,800 Speaker 1: person that was like in the right state of mind 148 00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:24,200 Speaker 1: for me to actually say, wow, I can see myself 149 00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:27,080 Speaker 1: having a child with this person. And I think with 150 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:29,120 Speaker 1: you know, my current husband, because we got married during 151 00:08:29,120 --> 00:08:32,679 Speaker 1: the pandemic too, we just got along in the professional level, 152 00:08:32,760 --> 00:08:35,760 Speaker 1: and he actually believes in me and supports what I do. 153 00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:38,360 Speaker 1: So he was always very like, oh, yeah, go to 154 00:08:38,400 --> 00:08:41,040 Speaker 1: that concert, yeah that interview, and other people that I 155 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:43,240 Speaker 1: dated were always kind of jealous, like, wait, you got 156 00:08:43,280 --> 00:08:46,640 Speaker 1: too close to that artist. So I kind of was like, 157 00:08:46,679 --> 00:08:48,600 Speaker 1: all right, with this guy, I can really do it 158 00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:51,240 Speaker 1: because he believes in me, and he knows what I 159 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,640 Speaker 1: do for a living, and he respects what I do 160 00:08:53,720 --> 00:08:55,840 Speaker 1: for a living. You know, I'm around a bunch of 161 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:57,640 Speaker 1: guys all the time, and for someone to have the 162 00:08:57,679 --> 00:09:00,240 Speaker 1: confidence to be okay with it, so yeah, I just 163 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,840 Speaker 1: I think I didn't do it before because of that, 164 00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:05,719 Speaker 1: because I think it's very important and now more than 165 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:13,640 Speaker 1: ever I tell people Ikey Wilkin say, and because it's 166 00:09:13,720 --> 00:09:17,600 Speaker 1: honestly the most important job I think I will ever have. 167 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:21,840 Speaker 1: He is now my responsibility to raise a little boy 168 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:26,360 Speaker 1: who is happy, who believes in himself, who respects others. 169 00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:30,440 Speaker 1: Like the world we live in, this generation of children 170 00:09:31,240 --> 00:09:34,439 Speaker 1: is going to change what's happening. So it's up to us, 171 00:09:34,720 --> 00:09:38,160 Speaker 1: the new parents, the people having kids now, to raise 172 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:41,800 Speaker 1: kids that are loving, that are empathetic. That's exactly what 173 00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:44,480 Speaker 1: I need. So I'm I feel like there's a lot 174 00:09:44,480 --> 00:09:47,000 Speaker 1: of my plate right now. You know I've been and 175 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,400 Speaker 1: that's what I was gonna tell you. You celebrated his 176 00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:51,959 Speaker 1: his first year, his first year, and my first year 177 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:54,680 Speaker 1: as a mom too, because I'm a whole different person now. 178 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:57,439 Speaker 1: You know I'm postpartum and I've told you this before. 179 00:09:57,559 --> 00:10:01,720 Speaker 1: Postpartum really got got me good the first time. Yea, 180 00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:03,600 Speaker 1: and a lot of people don't talk about it. There's 181 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:08,160 Speaker 1: postpartum depression and postparton like anxiety, and you say postparton, 182 00:10:08,240 --> 00:10:10,880 Speaker 1: people think, oh she was depressed. People do get that. 183 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:13,320 Speaker 1: In my case, I didn't get to that point, but 184 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:16,520 Speaker 1: I was scared of everything. So it's only been a 185 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:19,960 Speaker 1: few months that I started feeling better. And now I'm 186 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:23,440 Speaker 1: scared of having another one. But that's why I said 187 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:25,720 Speaker 1: I was good with one. And now that all of 188 00:10:25,760 --> 00:10:29,280 Speaker 1: those feelings kind of are balanced, I'm like, Okay, do 189 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:31,679 Speaker 1: I want to have a second child because I'm getting 190 00:10:31,720 --> 00:10:34,440 Speaker 1: older too. I'm glad I waited because now I'm I'm 191 00:10:34,440 --> 00:10:37,400 Speaker 1: in the right state of mind priority as my child, 192 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:41,240 Speaker 1: but now having a second child, like, how how am 193 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:43,240 Speaker 1: I going to balance? Am I just gonna go crazy? 194 00:10:43,679 --> 00:10:46,840 Speaker 1: I don't know how moms did it before having five 195 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:50,800 Speaker 1: six ten dude, my mom five kids? No mom is 196 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,160 Speaker 1: I don't know. I think times have changed, and this 197 00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:55,480 Speaker 1: is why I feel that it's a little bit more 198 00:10:55,600 --> 00:10:58,240 Speaker 1: quote unquote normal to a certain extent, you know, still 199 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:01,360 Speaker 1: in like our Latino families, having children later on in 200 00:11:01,360 --> 00:11:04,839 Speaker 1: life it's kind of like you know what I mean, 201 00:11:04,840 --> 00:11:07,800 Speaker 1: And it's like, no, like you are in a good 202 00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,559 Speaker 1: state of mind where you're like, okay, I can I 203 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:14,839 Speaker 1: want to raise a good little human versus when we're younger, 204 00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:16,839 Speaker 1: we're still trying to raise ourselves, you know what I mean, 205 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:19,199 Speaker 1: Which is why I'm like, what's wrong with having kids 206 00:11:19,280 --> 00:11:27,840 Speaker 1: later on in life? One thing that really caught like 207 00:11:27,880 --> 00:11:31,200 Speaker 1: my attention right now was was postpartum because again, especially 208 00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:35,560 Speaker 1: in our community, it's not spoken about enough. It's kind 209 00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:38,960 Speaker 1: of like a taboo. It's you're being weak a lot 210 00:11:38,960 --> 00:11:41,720 Speaker 1: of men, because I've heard it even in my extended family, 211 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,079 Speaker 1: where it's like that it doesn't exist. It's like depression 212 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:51,240 Speaker 1: like that. No, you guys, it really having a child 213 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:53,040 Speaker 1: and I haven't had my own, but I lived with 214 00:11:53,080 --> 00:11:55,920 Speaker 1: my sister. Your hormones are out of whack for an 215 00:11:56,040 --> 00:11:59,160 Speaker 1: entire year, and when the baby comes out, you're just 216 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,839 Speaker 1: like a man and having a child, a growing child 217 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,719 Speaker 1: in your body for nine months and they come out 218 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:07,240 Speaker 1: and they take all your nutrients and you gave them everything. 219 00:12:08,040 --> 00:12:11,000 Speaker 1: You feel a little depleted, is that correct? Very depleted? 220 00:12:11,679 --> 00:12:16,040 Speaker 1: Like I said, your body, physical, emotional, spiritual. You are 221 00:12:16,200 --> 00:12:19,480 Speaker 1: shaken completely and a lot of these emotions are out 222 00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:22,079 Speaker 1: of your control. So that's why it's so important. I mean, 223 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:24,959 Speaker 1: I seek therapy. I even did therapy during my pregnancy 224 00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:28,080 Speaker 1: just because I was dealing with the whole Here's another thing, right, 225 00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:29,840 Speaker 1: Like it was hard for me too, even though I 226 00:12:29,880 --> 00:12:32,880 Speaker 1: was older, and even though I'm independent and I've always 227 00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:38,280 Speaker 1: had a job, my parents like for me. I was 228 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:40,439 Speaker 1: stressed over that, and I talked to my parents. I 229 00:12:40,520 --> 00:12:42,320 Speaker 1: was like, listen, this is my choice. I've been wanting 230 00:12:42,320 --> 00:12:45,280 Speaker 1: to have a child, and I'm happy with the decision. 231 00:12:45,679 --> 00:12:47,760 Speaker 1: You guys made your life choices, and they were fined 232 00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:49,679 Speaker 1: by my dad. You could tell it was a little bothered. 233 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:52,360 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm thirty five already, you know, it was 234 00:12:52,400 --> 00:12:55,960 Speaker 1: like a pot com. So it takes a while for 235 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:59,080 Speaker 1: them because the culture is different, the mentality is different, 236 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:02,520 Speaker 1: and um, I was dealing with that, like, Okay, when 237 00:13:02,520 --> 00:13:04,800 Speaker 1: I tell my parents that I'm pregnant, my mom was 238 00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:07,760 Speaker 1: perfectly fine. When I tell them, How am I going 239 00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:11,199 Speaker 1: to handle their reaction? I kid did go to therapy 240 00:13:11,280 --> 00:13:14,360 Speaker 1: for that through my pregnancy, and it helped me because 241 00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:16,960 Speaker 1: when I did get a certain reaction, I was like, 242 00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:20,320 Speaker 1: I'm fine, I'm happy, I'm at peace. He'll come back around, 243 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:23,120 Speaker 1: and he did. They get over it, and then now 244 00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:25,320 Speaker 1: I'm sure he's all in love with the baby. Oh yeah, 245 00:13:25,720 --> 00:13:34,920 Speaker 1: of course it is myste unquote being. But well I'm assuming, like, yeah, 246 00:13:34,960 --> 00:13:36,760 Speaker 1: you know, you had you got pregnant first, and then 247 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:39,240 Speaker 1: you guys got married, right, we did during the pregnancy. 248 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:41,000 Speaker 1: I actually I was like, we don't have to do 249 00:13:41,040 --> 00:13:43,960 Speaker 1: it just you know, because I'm pregnant, and he's like, no, like, 250 00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,280 Speaker 1: let's do it because when the baby is born, you 251 00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:48,640 Speaker 1: have my last name, and you know, we're a married couple. 252 00:13:48,720 --> 00:13:51,080 Speaker 1: And we were able to make decisions together at the 253 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:54,440 Speaker 1: hospital and thereafter, you know, not we're a family, and 254 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:57,680 Speaker 1: so now it's like, oh, we should have a big wedding, 255 00:13:57,760 --> 00:13:59,640 Speaker 1: and I'm like, you know what, I'm happy. Like then 256 00:13:59,679 --> 00:14:04,160 Speaker 1: I'm on the tracas. He's healthy, I'm getting back to 257 00:14:04,360 --> 00:14:08,160 Speaker 1: my rhythm, back to kind of work, dealing with leaving 258 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:21,280 Speaker 1: the baby for fear. I still cried this morning that 259 00:14:21,560 --> 00:14:23,600 Speaker 1: the moment you have to go back to work. I mean, 260 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:25,960 Speaker 1: I've have friends that say they were really happy to 261 00:14:25,960 --> 00:14:28,080 Speaker 1: go back to work because those hours give them like 262 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:31,960 Speaker 1: freedom and independence. In my case, I still struggle. You know, 263 00:14:32,560 --> 00:14:34,600 Speaker 1: it hurts because you're like, what if he feels like 264 00:14:34,640 --> 00:14:38,200 Speaker 1: I'm a band didn't No, Yeah, I can just imagine. 265 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:40,960 Speaker 1: So it was therapy during the pregnancy and then after 266 00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:44,760 Speaker 1: pregnancy because of postpartum, and yes, it is something that 267 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,360 Speaker 1: we don't talk about. When it was happening to me, 268 00:14:47,440 --> 00:14:50,040 Speaker 1: I was asking my cousin's like, why did you guys 269 00:14:50,040 --> 00:14:51,920 Speaker 1: say this? Oh, because we don't want you to like 270 00:14:52,200 --> 00:14:56,240 Speaker 1: start stressing over during your pregnancy, but we need to 271 00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:59,080 Speaker 1: know these things, yes, because then you probably think, imagine, 272 00:14:59,080 --> 00:15:00,640 Speaker 1: if we don't talk about it enough, then you think, 273 00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:03,160 Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm going crazy. And like I lived 274 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:06,120 Speaker 1: it with Jackie, my sister. I remember I was on 275 00:15:06,160 --> 00:15:07,840 Speaker 1: the other side of the house and the baby was 276 00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:09,720 Speaker 1: yelling on the top of her lens. I was like, 277 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:12,560 Speaker 1: what is happening. I went to the room. The baby 278 00:15:12,640 --> 00:15:17,680 Speaker 1: was in her little bassonet crying and this was her 279 00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:20,720 Speaker 1: first child, and she was like what twenty one I 280 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:23,040 Speaker 1: think it was, and actually twenty years old. And she 281 00:15:23,120 --> 00:15:25,360 Speaker 1: was sitting on the floor and she was just like 282 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:27,440 Speaker 1: this face that I'll never forget and was looking at 283 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:29,200 Speaker 1: the floor and she was just and I'm like, Jackie, 284 00:15:29,240 --> 00:15:33,440 Speaker 1: what's wrong. She's like, I don't know, like not crying nothing. 285 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:37,120 Speaker 1: She's like I don't want her. Can we just take 286 00:15:37,120 --> 00:15:38,840 Speaker 1: her to the fire station? I just can't do this. 287 00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:42,640 Speaker 1: And that's when I heard about postpartum. And then my 288 00:15:42,680 --> 00:15:45,120 Speaker 1: mom when we said, she's like, oh, it's postpartum. It's normal, 289 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:48,440 Speaker 1: like hello, Like okay, well tell us, you know what 290 00:15:48,480 --> 00:15:51,000 Speaker 1: I mean. And it was a little bit more talked about, 291 00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,360 Speaker 1: but thank goodness, it just lasted a few months, but 292 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:56,040 Speaker 1: it's very real. And I think one day we need 293 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,640 Speaker 1: to have like a panel of women talking about postpartum 294 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:03,080 Speaker 1: because no, cissy, they said, low. She said, I feel 295 00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:04,840 Speaker 1: like I'm going crazy. I can't do this. My life 296 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:06,600 Speaker 1: is changing. It was just too much all at once. 297 00:16:06,760 --> 00:16:09,840 Speaker 1: Her hormones are everywhere. So you know, I do appreciate 298 00:16:09,920 --> 00:16:20,440 Speaker 1: you sharing that. No, I just felt like, okay, can 299 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:23,080 Speaker 1: I do this? Like? Who am I do? I still 300 00:16:23,120 --> 00:16:25,320 Speaker 1: like the same things that I used to like. And 301 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:28,240 Speaker 1: it's hard because even now, I mean the baby, like 302 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:31,520 Speaker 1: I said, he's fourteen months now, but I still don't 303 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:33,440 Speaker 1: go out with friends. I still don't do things that 304 00:16:33,480 --> 00:16:36,720 Speaker 1: I used to do all the time before. And I 305 00:16:36,720 --> 00:16:38,000 Speaker 1: don't want to be that way. I want to be 306 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,000 Speaker 1: able to have a balance because you still want to 307 00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:42,560 Speaker 1: hang on to the old you because you're fun and 308 00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:46,360 Speaker 1: you felt free. But you also love motherhood, you know, 309 00:16:46,560 --> 00:16:50,200 Speaker 1: having a little mini you run around and you know 310 00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:53,640 Speaker 1: someone that motivates you and it inspires you. Yeah, it's 311 00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:56,200 Speaker 1: all about balance. And it took my my sister a while, 312 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:57,360 Speaker 1: and I would have to tell her book, get your 313 00:16:57,400 --> 00:16:59,080 Speaker 1: nose down, little things. It doesn't have to be to 314 00:16:59,120 --> 00:17:01,160 Speaker 1: leave the baby all night. I think it's just it's 315 00:17:01,200 --> 00:17:03,880 Speaker 1: question the you know, it's only been fourteen months and 316 00:17:03,880 --> 00:17:06,119 Speaker 1: and a little by little you'll get your little the 317 00:17:06,200 --> 00:17:09,560 Speaker 1: rhythm going. But before, like you had your baby boy. 318 00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:12,240 Speaker 1: He's so cute. You guys, did you feel pressure from 319 00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:14,840 Speaker 1: your parents or from your family or your cousins like 320 00:17:16,200 --> 00:17:19,080 Speaker 1: I did. I felt a lot of pressure, but then 321 00:17:19,080 --> 00:17:21,400 Speaker 1: it got to a point where they wouldn't even ask anymore. 322 00:17:21,720 --> 00:17:29,120 Speaker 1: Like my mom would be like no, and I would 323 00:17:29,119 --> 00:17:31,199 Speaker 1: just think, I really want my parents around when I 324 00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:33,400 Speaker 1: have children, you know. But then I thought I would think, 325 00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:35,560 Speaker 1: like no, well, maybe it's not the right time. Although 326 00:17:35,600 --> 00:17:37,960 Speaker 1: being in my mid thirties, I still felt like I 327 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:40,240 Speaker 1: had plenty of time, but I did. I felt a 328 00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:43,159 Speaker 1: lot of pressure since my twenties, and now all my 329 00:17:43,200 --> 00:17:46,480 Speaker 1: girl cousins, the ones that are under twenties, I'm like nothing, 330 00:17:47,600 --> 00:17:52,639 Speaker 1: no thing, because I know I have nothing in my system. 331 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:56,119 Speaker 1: Obviously there's like girls Trips that I would love to join. 332 00:17:56,800 --> 00:18:01,000 Speaker 1: But I do a lot of crazy things before having 333 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,000 Speaker 1: my baby, and so I don't regret anything. I think 334 00:18:04,040 --> 00:18:06,840 Speaker 1: I did it as perfect timing. I think I accomplished 335 00:18:06,840 --> 00:18:10,480 Speaker 1: a lot in my career. I was able to experience 336 00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:13,520 Speaker 1: and enjoy a lot of things, and I dated a lot, 337 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,920 Speaker 1: and I think it was a perfect timing. My mid 338 00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:19,359 Speaker 1: thirties were the perfect timing for me. For some people, 339 00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:22,160 Speaker 1: with their late thirties. For some people is their early forties. Now. 340 00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:25,080 Speaker 1: I just think someone in their twenties you should really 341 00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:38,000 Speaker 1: discover and explore and learn and make mistakes. You're free, 342 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:40,840 Speaker 1: you can do whatever you want and whatever you put 343 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:44,359 Speaker 1: you set your mind to. I'm a really firm believer 344 00:18:44,560 --> 00:18:49,119 Speaker 1: that we are unstoppable, especially like Latina women. Man, we 345 00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:53,359 Speaker 1: have everything going for ourselves. Hell yeah. I mean power 346 00:18:53,400 --> 00:18:59,439 Speaker 1: to everyone that had kids in their twenties these the 347 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:08,080 Speaker 1: best is yet to come. I mean, if that's your prerogative, 348 00:19:08,480 --> 00:19:10,359 Speaker 1: more power to you. You know, if you want to 349 00:19:10,400 --> 00:19:13,240 Speaker 1: get married young. I I just in my personal experience, 350 00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:15,800 Speaker 1: I mean growing up my grandparents, especially because I was 351 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:23,879 Speaker 1: the oldest grandchild, it was okay, and I'm like, uh 352 00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:28,360 Speaker 1: when they see me, and I felt like a lot 353 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:31,080 Speaker 1: of pressure, Like but I'm like, oh my god, Like 354 00:19:31,119 --> 00:19:33,320 Speaker 1: I helped my mom with the kids, and how am 355 00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:35,440 Speaker 1: I going to juggle it? And I at a point 356 00:19:35,480 --> 00:19:40,280 Speaker 1: I'm like, well, okay, well maybe I should to please them. 357 00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:42,720 Speaker 1: And personally, I'm glad that I didn't. I mean, it 358 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:44,560 Speaker 1: would have been a blessing regardless, but I'm glad that 359 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:47,160 Speaker 1: I that I waited because the one that's gonna take 360 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:50,040 Speaker 1: care of the baby is me, you know what I mean. Like, 361 00:19:50,320 --> 00:19:53,520 Speaker 1: so I was like, I'm glad and I'm okay with now, 362 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:56,600 Speaker 1: because for a long time I felt guilty, I felt selfish. 363 00:19:57,119 --> 00:19:59,119 Speaker 1: Someone in my family once told me, well, that's what 364 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:00,960 Speaker 1: you're here for, that's what you were made for, is 365 00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:04,560 Speaker 1: for you to reproduce. And I'm like, excuse me, that's 366 00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:06,720 Speaker 1: not all I am, you know what I mean. And 367 00:20:06,720 --> 00:20:09,320 Speaker 1: and now I'm like, I'm good with my decision. I'm 368 00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:11,040 Speaker 1: probably going to be that girl that's going to have 369 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:14,399 Speaker 1: her baby and her late thirties, her early forties, and 370 00:20:14,440 --> 00:20:16,720 Speaker 1: I'm okay with that. That's like, I feel like the 371 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,280 Speaker 1: new thing. And it needs to be a little bit 372 00:20:18,280 --> 00:20:22,800 Speaker 1: more normalized in our culture because I see, because of 373 00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:28,280 Speaker 1: that pressure, how many divorces there are, and because you 374 00:20:29,119 --> 00:20:32,280 Speaker 1: marry the wrong person to please your family, how many 375 00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:36,240 Speaker 1: people stay in relationships for their children. So many people 376 00:20:36,240 --> 00:20:38,560 Speaker 1: in the family that I know are miserable, but they're like, 377 00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:44,440 Speaker 1: you know, you know, they haven't feel you just see 378 00:20:44,480 --> 00:20:47,680 Speaker 1: it in our culture so much, and and people are miserable. 379 00:20:47,920 --> 00:20:50,720 Speaker 1: For me, I'm in a good place where now I 380 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:52,480 Speaker 1: can say, you know what, I'm able to have my 381 00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:55,920 Speaker 1: little casa for my child, pay for daycare. I'm able 382 00:20:55,960 --> 00:20:58,200 Speaker 1: to give them the time. Um, you know, if if 383 00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:00,399 Speaker 1: I want to, I can travel with with my child. 384 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:14,679 Speaker 1: There's no pressure from anyone anymore. It's kind of like exacto. 385 00:21:16,040 --> 00:21:18,520 Speaker 1: I graduated to hear the cal State Northridge. I always 386 00:21:18,560 --> 00:21:20,320 Speaker 1: felt like I can get whatever job I want, I 387 00:21:20,320 --> 00:21:24,240 Speaker 1: can go anywhere. We're bilingual. To man, it's a blessing. 388 00:21:24,359 --> 00:21:26,760 Speaker 1: We can do so many things. So many women with 389 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:30,040 Speaker 1: their own businesses now, you know. So I feel like 390 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:34,119 Speaker 1: it's important to establish that and then after that, you know, 391 00:21:34,240 --> 00:21:43,360 Speaker 1: it's okay to have kids after that. Yeah, I agree. 392 00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:46,879 Speaker 1: I'm gonna be honest, I don't know right now, in 393 00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:51,280 Speaker 1: this moment if I can conceive ever because of my endometriosis. 394 00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:53,080 Speaker 1: Because the last time I went to see my fertility 395 00:21:53,080 --> 00:21:56,359 Speaker 1: doctor he said that I have no say I'm not 396 00:21:56,440 --> 00:22:00,720 Speaker 1: producing enough egg. You know, I person gonn elite. Don't 397 00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:02,480 Speaker 1: let that affect me, because you know, I believe in God, 398 00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:07,280 Speaker 1: and I'm like, look, it's going to happen. If God 399 00:22:07,320 --> 00:22:08,880 Speaker 1: wants me to get pregnant and have a child, I'm 400 00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:11,640 Speaker 1: going to have it no matter what doctors say, I'm 401 00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:13,560 Speaker 1: curious to see what you have to say in regards 402 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:16,600 Speaker 1: to maybe women that can't conceive. Do you feel like 403 00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:21,479 Speaker 1: adoption is an option for me? There is, But in 404 00:22:21,480 --> 00:22:23,360 Speaker 1: our culture a lot of people are kind of like, 405 00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:25,720 Speaker 1: how are you going to adopt someone that's a child 406 00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:27,959 Speaker 1: that's not yours? What do you think about that? I 407 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,480 Speaker 1: think that if you, if people want to adopt, go 408 00:22:30,600 --> 00:22:33,120 Speaker 1: for it. There's so many children that need the love, 409 00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,720 Speaker 1: that need a family, that need a home, and so 410 00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:39,000 Speaker 1: people that adopt more power to them. And I'm also 411 00:22:39,119 --> 00:22:53,159 Speaker 1: all about trying everything. They I would go visit that 412 00:22:53,240 --> 00:23:00,200 Speaker 1: lately if I needed to, you know, Mama Juan, get 413 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:07,400 Speaker 1: them to my eatic, But I would try why not? 414 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:18,000 Speaker 1: And the Halloween oh yes, oh yeah, because of you 415 00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:28,159 Speaker 1: remember you're killing little baby. You're like, I was like, 416 00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:30,440 Speaker 1: let him, let him come in you and then just 417 00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:32,280 Speaker 1: put your legs up for a little while. And she 418 00:23:32,359 --> 00:23:37,119 Speaker 1: did it. Guys, how it works. I had forgotten right that. 419 00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:45,320 Speaker 1: I'm like that, I'm the type of person you'll do it. 420 00:23:45,320 --> 00:23:48,639 Speaker 1: And hell yeah, like I will go see somewhere in 421 00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:50,879 Speaker 1: Mexico or find one here in l A. I'm like, 422 00:23:50,920 --> 00:23:52,639 Speaker 1: I'm gonna have a baby. Because I don't have a baby. 423 00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:54,719 Speaker 1: The Lord is gonna make it happen. I'm a light 424 00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:57,720 Speaker 1: of candle. So I agree with you. I agree with you. 425 00:23:57,720 --> 00:23:59,199 Speaker 1: I just wanted I was curious to see what you 426 00:23:59,200 --> 00:24:01,879 Speaker 1: thought about that. And now let's talk about age, because 427 00:24:01,880 --> 00:24:03,520 Speaker 1: I heard you right now. You're like, I'm not gonna 428 00:24:03,520 --> 00:24:06,639 Speaker 1: say how old I am. Do you feel that in 429 00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:09,480 Speaker 1: our culture that they've made us feel the older we get, 430 00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:23,800 Speaker 1: the less viable we are. No thesa, you know, na. 431 00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:26,119 Speaker 1: They just have their own mind. They have an attitude 432 00:24:26,119 --> 00:24:28,200 Speaker 1: and this and that. And I was like, I looked 433 00:24:28,240 --> 00:24:31,200 Speaker 1: at him, I was like what, But it's true. When 434 00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:33,159 Speaker 1: you're thirty, you're like, I know who I am, I 435 00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:36,040 Speaker 1: know what I want. Like for your age, do you 436 00:24:36,080 --> 00:24:38,880 Speaker 1: feel like shit, like, are you proud of it? I'm 437 00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:44,040 Speaker 1: very proud of it. I'm very proud of it. In 438 00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:47,720 Speaker 1: my twenties again, because you're immature, because you're you're more 439 00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:52,880 Speaker 1: vulnerable for people to take advantage of you. And when 440 00:24:52,880 --> 00:25:00,720 Speaker 1: you hit thirty, but you're kind they're like, you know why, 441 00:25:00,760 --> 00:25:03,000 Speaker 1: I'm not going to live my life ama, or no, 442 00:25:03,200 --> 00:25:13,320 Speaker 1: you're not going to talk to me that way. Eence, No, 443 00:25:13,359 --> 00:25:28,560 Speaker 1: you know what. Now, See I I pus on the way, 444 00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:31,879 Speaker 1: I said, we figure out a way. We're like cusslers 445 00:25:31,920 --> 00:25:37,719 Speaker 1: were like, okay, don't know. Yeah, And see, this is 446 00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:40,480 Speaker 1: just my opinion. You guys. If you're listening to us 447 00:25:40,520 --> 00:25:42,520 Speaker 1: and you're in your early twenties and you want to 448 00:25:42,560 --> 00:25:45,680 Speaker 1: get married and do whatever you want, my thing is 449 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:48,360 Speaker 1: just think about it. Who you're going to marry and 450 00:25:48,400 --> 00:25:52,720 Speaker 1: why do it? You know what I mean, for a 451 00:25:52,720 --> 00:25:56,920 Speaker 1: man or a woman. But that's why I feel men 452 00:25:57,040 --> 00:26:01,200 Speaker 1: like younger women bores and this email. Once i'd be 453 00:26:01,200 --> 00:26:03,400 Speaker 1: a little bit like embarrassed, like, oh my age. Now 454 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:06,800 Speaker 1: I'm like, fuck that. I'm thirty seven. I'm very proud 455 00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:09,440 Speaker 1: of what I've accomplished. I'm very proud of who I am. 456 00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:12,360 Speaker 1: I feel better than ever in my twenties. I thought 457 00:26:12,400 --> 00:26:14,920 Speaker 1: I was popping. Now I'm like, I'm really popping in. 458 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:18,440 Speaker 1: My plasty is popping into and it's beautiful and I 459 00:26:18,520 --> 00:26:20,800 Speaker 1: don't give it ship. I'm thirty seven, but my vagina 460 00:26:20,880 --> 00:26:23,359 Speaker 1: is like sucking twenty. I don't know it. Just in 461 00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:26,080 Speaker 1: your thirties is something else you guys, like for so 462 00:26:26,160 --> 00:26:28,159 Speaker 1: long you were taught of, like oh my god, the 463 00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:30,879 Speaker 1: older you get, you're not gonna be as desirable and 464 00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:32,639 Speaker 1: this and that, and you have to be young and 465 00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:36,080 Speaker 1: get married young, because that all that is just it's 466 00:26:36,119 --> 00:26:37,600 Speaker 1: out of the window. And I think I have my 467 00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:40,160 Speaker 1: mom to think for that because the older she got, 468 00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:41,840 Speaker 1: she would always say, like in her forties, she's like, 469 00:26:42,040 --> 00:26:43,960 Speaker 1: I feel better than ever in my forties, Like she 470 00:26:45,040 --> 00:26:50,080 Speaker 1: made me appreciate every year that I matured. Now I 471 00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:52,159 Speaker 1: see it that way. I'm maturing, you know what I mean. 472 00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:55,200 Speaker 1: I'm growing, I'm evolving. And I think that's another thing 473 00:26:55,240 --> 00:26:57,720 Speaker 1: that once we have our panel show, Evelyn that we've 474 00:26:57,720 --> 00:27:00,359 Speaker 1: been wanting to do for years, we gotta talk about, 475 00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:16,159 Speaker 1: you know, embracing our age. It they not forces, but 476 00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:19,040 Speaker 1: to be the example because they can still change to 477 00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:22,080 Speaker 1: and they can still feel empowered to, and they can 478 00:27:22,119 --> 00:27:25,639 Speaker 1: still walk away from miserable marriages, and they can still 479 00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:28,719 Speaker 1: you know, do surgery if they want to, and enhance 480 00:27:28,800 --> 00:27:31,600 Speaker 1: areas that they want to. Even with my mom, like 481 00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:38,600 Speaker 1: I can try different things like or like let's try this, 482 00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:42,080 Speaker 1: because I know our generation has a lot on our 483 00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:45,080 Speaker 1: plate because we are the game changers for so many things, 484 00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:48,640 Speaker 1: including reality of having kids young. You know, we're not 485 00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:51,320 Speaker 1: doing that now, and it's for the best. We have 486 00:27:51,359 --> 00:27:54,480 Speaker 1: to let go of of of so many things we've 487 00:27:54,520 --> 00:27:58,760 Speaker 1: been carrying through our ancestors. Absolutely. Yeah. I always talk 488 00:27:58,800 --> 00:28:02,320 Speaker 1: about it like, um, you know, breaking generational curses. You know, 489 00:28:02,359 --> 00:28:05,359 Speaker 1: it's okay to be different from the generation before us, 490 00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:07,240 Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like, I don't have to 491 00:28:07,280 --> 00:28:10,080 Speaker 1: be I don't want to be exactly like them. I 492 00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:13,119 Speaker 1: want to be different. I want to level up and 493 00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:15,760 Speaker 1: hopefully the generation to come, I want to teach them, 494 00:28:15,840 --> 00:28:18,440 Speaker 1: inspire them. This is why I was like this perfect 495 00:28:18,440 --> 00:28:21,320 Speaker 1: if everying evident, because we get each other. I was like, 496 00:28:21,440 --> 00:28:24,160 Speaker 1: you know, I'm done with feeling like, oh my god, 497 00:28:24,160 --> 00:28:26,720 Speaker 1: I'm not a mom yet. The clock is taking some 498 00:28:28,119 --> 00:28:30,000 Speaker 1: and you know, for the women that are listening to me, 499 00:28:30,160 --> 00:28:32,280 Speaker 1: because you are. You know, you have your career, you're 500 00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:35,760 Speaker 1: a wife, motherhood, Like, can you talk to us about 501 00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:38,360 Speaker 1: the realness of how difficult that is? Do you have 502 00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:41,520 Speaker 1: days where you're like shit? Of course, not that you 503 00:28:41,560 --> 00:28:43,480 Speaker 1: know you regret it, of course not. That's not what 504 00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:45,400 Speaker 1: I mean. Because you love your son. I know how 505 00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:46,800 Speaker 1: much you love your son, how much time you want 506 00:28:46,800 --> 00:28:48,720 Speaker 1: to spend with him, But talk to us a little 507 00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:52,880 Speaker 1: bit more about that. It's really really hard, especially when you, um, 508 00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:55,600 Speaker 1: we're really good at something and then all of a sudden, 509 00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:58,280 Speaker 1: so I feel like I'm either going to be really 510 00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:01,480 Speaker 1: good at my job and kind of uh lack in 511 00:29:01,560 --> 00:29:05,600 Speaker 1: motherhood or I'm gonna be mother and slack off at 512 00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:09,040 Speaker 1: my job. So rather right now that the baby is 513 00:29:09,080 --> 00:29:13,560 Speaker 1: still young, I honestly my priority is being a great mother. 514 00:29:13,720 --> 00:29:15,880 Speaker 1: So there's a lot of things, a lot of opportunities 515 00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:18,680 Speaker 1: that I'm missing out on, I feel, but I'm at 516 00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:21,880 Speaker 1: your priority. Yes, I want my baby to know that 517 00:29:21,960 --> 00:29:24,120 Speaker 1: I'm around, that I love him, and I don't want 518 00:29:24,160 --> 00:29:26,520 Speaker 1: him to grow up saying yeah, you gave me everything, 519 00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:29,760 Speaker 1: but you were never around. Obviously we need to work, 520 00:29:29,840 --> 00:29:32,960 Speaker 1: you know, to provide and and and nowadays you really 521 00:29:32,960 --> 00:29:35,480 Speaker 1: do need to incomes to survive, especially in the state 522 00:29:35,520 --> 00:29:38,920 Speaker 1: of California for a mortgage and bills and everything. It's 523 00:29:38,960 --> 00:29:41,080 Speaker 1: really hard when it comes down to balancing. And then 524 00:29:41,120 --> 00:29:45,160 Speaker 1: talking about it how hard it is is also like 525 00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:48,280 Speaker 1: a big thing because then people start saying, was your 526 00:29:48,640 --> 00:30:02,320 Speaker 1: sinco was make a hit any? So you're like, okay, 527 00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:05,440 Speaker 1: I have one, and I am complaining. Maybe I'll just 528 00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:07,120 Speaker 1: shut up. Maybe I won't say how hard it is, 529 00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:16,200 Speaker 1: and I'll cry, you know, in the shower by myself. Yeah. Yeah, 530 00:30:19,280 --> 00:30:21,640 Speaker 1: And I feel guilty too because I know she wants 531 00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:23,320 Speaker 1: to help me, But at the same time, I want 532 00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:25,760 Speaker 1: her to have her freedom and I want her to be, 533 00:30:25,960 --> 00:30:28,600 Speaker 1: you know, with my dad or or to do things, 534 00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:30,760 Speaker 1: you know, not just stay home for those hours that 535 00:30:30,800 --> 00:30:33,440 Speaker 1: I'm working. But I'm very grateful because some people don't 536 00:30:33,480 --> 00:30:43,560 Speaker 1: have family need to help them out and confused mama 537 00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:46,720 Speaker 1: or no, I don't want to stay here for whatever reason. 538 00:30:47,240 --> 00:30:49,960 Speaker 1: Then I think I'm gonna feel better in just leaving 539 00:30:50,040 --> 00:31:09,680 Speaker 1: him in daycare or in you know, noa just maybe 540 00:31:09,680 --> 00:31:11,720 Speaker 1: I should leave work for a while and just take 541 00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:14,360 Speaker 1: care of the baby. But then you're like, wait, no, yeah, 542 00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:16,560 Speaker 1: I can imagine, and and for sure when I have 543 00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:18,640 Speaker 1: my kids that I'm gonna need you to help me 544 00:31:18,760 --> 00:31:22,360 Speaker 1: through through that and help me balance. Great already, you're 545 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:26,160 Speaker 1: you're wonderful with kids. I love kids. There's no doubt 546 00:31:26,200 --> 00:31:29,880 Speaker 1: in my mind You're gonna be like an incredible, incredible mother. 547 00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:32,800 Speaker 1: Now the challenge for you, I think it's gonna be 548 00:31:32,840 --> 00:31:36,560 Speaker 1: balancing work of the projects that you have, everything that 549 00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:39,120 Speaker 1: that you have going on at first, be when you're 550 00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:40,960 Speaker 1: pregnant or when you're thinking of having kids. You're like, 551 00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:43,239 Speaker 1: oh no, I'm gonna hire someone to help me, and 552 00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:45,320 Speaker 1: I'm still gonna have three months later, I'm gonna be 553 00:31:45,360 --> 00:31:47,520 Speaker 1: back to work. And then three months later comes what 554 00:31:47,560 --> 00:31:50,479 Speaker 1: you think. Huh yeah, you get so attached. I mean, 555 00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:52,280 Speaker 1: I already know the type of mom I'm gonna be, 556 00:31:52,320 --> 00:31:53,959 Speaker 1: which is why I'm like, let me wait a little bit, 557 00:31:53,960 --> 00:31:55,560 Speaker 1: because I'm gonna be straight up. I want to be 558 00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:57,520 Speaker 1: a little selfish right now because I help raise my 559 00:31:57,520 --> 00:32:02,560 Speaker 1: my siblings, so you'll see into I guess it jos 560 00:32:02,960 --> 00:32:05,280 Speaker 1: taking them to school and this and that and the homework, 561 00:32:05,320 --> 00:32:07,360 Speaker 1: and it's just I feel like I've been through it all. 562 00:32:07,920 --> 00:32:12,120 Speaker 1: Obio's defendent. They want to want to. I just know, 563 00:32:12,760 --> 00:32:15,600 Speaker 1: do you have advice for new moms out there trying 564 00:32:15,640 --> 00:32:17,760 Speaker 1: to find that balance, anything that you can tell them, 565 00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:21,640 Speaker 1: talk about your feelings, don't hold anything in. Now I'm 566 00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:24,400 Speaker 1: even more connected to like friends of mine that were 567 00:32:24,480 --> 00:32:28,960 Speaker 1: moms that before I wouldn't be like tempo, but now 568 00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:31,160 Speaker 1: I get it. You know, sometimes you feel like you're 569 00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:34,320 Speaker 1: all alone and reality so many people are going through it, 570 00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:36,560 Speaker 1: and you feel better when you hear how they're coping 571 00:32:36,600 --> 00:32:40,040 Speaker 1: with situations, and you find solutions to certain things by 572 00:32:40,160 --> 00:32:43,960 Speaker 1: hearing other people's experiences. And there's you're never really prepared 573 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:48,680 Speaker 1: for motherhood, Okay, say see postpartum. You know it's real. 574 00:32:54,760 --> 00:33:02,600 Speaker 1: Exist and to like I said in the beginning, make 575 00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:06,719 Speaker 1: sure you're having children with the right person that's gonna 576 00:33:07,360 --> 00:33:09,920 Speaker 1: treat you right. That you guys have the same values 577 00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:15,640 Speaker 1: and just you know, live life and love it team 578 00:33:19,280 --> 00:33:23,240 Speaker 1: with as you mm hmm. Evelyn, thank you, thank you 579 00:33:23,320 --> 00:33:25,320 Speaker 1: for being on the podcast. Thank you for opening up 580 00:33:25,360 --> 00:33:28,760 Speaker 1: your heart, for being just open about things that we 581 00:33:28,800 --> 00:33:32,320 Speaker 1: go through as Latina women. And you guys please follow 582 00:33:32,320 --> 00:33:34,280 Speaker 1: her on social media. Plug it in where can they 583 00:33:34,320 --> 00:33:37,200 Speaker 1: hear you on the radio? Your social media so that 584 00:33:37,240 --> 00:33:41,080 Speaker 1: people can stay current with you. That's how you find me, 585 00:33:41,440 --> 00:33:43,959 Speaker 1: and that's where you guys will see what I'm doing 586 00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:46,440 Speaker 1: and you know what I'm working on, and I'm gonna 587 00:33:46,800 --> 00:33:49,840 Speaker 1: embrace the process. And I think it's time to also 588 00:33:49,920 --> 00:33:52,800 Speaker 1: take risks. Before I was in my comfort zone. Now 589 00:33:52,880 --> 00:34:03,640 Speaker 1: I'm like, Okayambien with that masses passed your mama. I 590 00:34:03,640 --> 00:34:06,280 Speaker 1: love that, Evelyn. I love I cannot wait to see 591 00:34:06,320 --> 00:34:08,279 Speaker 1: what you have brewing and the ideas that you have, 592 00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:10,840 Speaker 1: because I know we've talked about a few, but I 593 00:34:10,880 --> 00:34:12,480 Speaker 1: can't wait to see what the future holds for you 594 00:34:12,880 --> 00:34:15,360 Speaker 1: and for all of my regular listeners. You already know 595 00:34:15,400 --> 00:34:23,080 Speaker 1: what time it is. It's time for our motivational quote. 596 00:34:23,640 --> 00:34:26,680 Speaker 1: And this is a quote. I think this is the 597 00:34:26,719 --> 00:34:32,600 Speaker 1: first time that we have a Spanish quote. Eliza Claso 598 00:34:32,880 --> 00:34:36,719 Speaker 1: that they've boiled the Emira las esterday. Yes I was 599 00:34:36,760 --> 00:34:45,239 Speaker 1: a guy, Eliza. Thank you guys so much. Evelyn, I 600 00:34:45,320 --> 00:34:47,480 Speaker 1: love you. Thank you so much, my listeners. I love 601 00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:49,920 Speaker 1: you guys with all my heart. I will catch you 602 00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:55,719 Speaker 1: on the next episode of Chickens and Chill. Do you 603 00:34:55,760 --> 00:35:00,560 Speaker 1: need advice on love, relationships, health? Imas. I'm so excited 604 00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:03,000 Speaker 1: to share with you that my Cheeks and Chill podcast 605 00:35:03,080 --> 00:35:06,120 Speaker 1: will have an extra episode drop each week. I'll be 606 00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:13,000 Speaker 1: answering all your questions. Just leave me a voice message. 607 00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:15,320 Speaker 1: All you have to do is go to speak pipe 608 00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:18,720 Speaker 1: dot com slash Cheeks and Chill podcast and record your questions. 609 00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:24,800 Speaker 1: I can't wait to hear from you. This is a 610 00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:28,600 Speaker 1: production of I Heart Radio and the Michael Dura Podcast Network. 611 00:35:28,840 --> 00:35:31,800 Speaker 1: Follow us on Instagram, at Michael Dura Podcasts and follow 612 00:35:31,800 --> 00:35:34,560 Speaker 1: me checks That's c h i q u i s. 613 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,640 Speaker 1: For more podcasts from My Heart, visit the I Heart 614 00:35:37,719 --> 00:35:40,839 Speaker 1: Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you listen to your 615 00:35:40,840 --> 00:35:41,839 Speaker 1: favorite podcasts.