Speaker 1: Hell I suck with deng Dared Haven and I heard
Speaker 1: radio podcast. Hey, welcome to an all new episode of
Speaker 1: help by Suck at Dative. Of course, I'm Jared Haven,
Speaker 1: joined by the wonderful, amazing Uh just got off the
Speaker 1: golf course Dean on Claire. Ladies and gentlemen. He's in
Speaker 1: a white polo. You're looking very nice. You're actually recording
Speaker 1: from the van today. Yeah, thank you. It's actually not
Speaker 1: just that I just got off the golf course, because
Speaker 1: I think that kind of it puts the wrong picture
Speaker 1: out there. Right. It's not like I just got off
Speaker 1: the golf course. As a matter of fact, I left
Speaker 1: the golf course early just so I could hang out
Speaker 1: with the with the sucky daters with That's how dedicated
Speaker 1: Dean is. There's no place I'd rather be other than
Speaker 1: right here. Um. Yeah, I'll be honest with you guys. Uh,
Speaker 1: you know, I think you guys can always expect honestly
Speaker 1: out of us here. I hope I suck a dating.
Speaker 1: I'm I've had a couple of beers. I've had a
Speaker 1: couple of drinks on the golf course. So this podcast
Speaker 1: is gonna be a little looser than most and I
Speaker 1: love Lucy C Dean, and we're already pretty loose too.
Speaker 1: I think that's the problem. So looser than loose is
Speaker 1: gonna be an interesting take away. Well, full full disclosure,
Speaker 1: Dean actually is changing shirts right now. And you have
Speaker 1: a tattoo on your right shoulder. What is that? Is that?
Speaker 1: Palm trees, flowers? I've never seen that tattoo before. No, yeah,
Speaker 1: it's actually funny. I get asked that question semi frequently.
Speaker 1: So the tat two on my right shoulder is a
Speaker 1: John Butler Trio album artuh, album cover art. It's it's
Speaker 1: like three arrows pointing up for trio. Obviously for my
Speaker 1: best friend, well, one of my best friends when I
Speaker 1: was in college. He uh, he overdosed and died and
Speaker 1: he would hope he did it at a John Butler
Speaker 1: Trio concert. And so me and a couple other friends
Speaker 1: got John Butler Trio tattoos to commemorate his wonderful life. So, Jared,
Speaker 1: I appreciate you starting off the top of the podcast
Speaker 1: with a somber Uh. You know, I didn't know it
Speaker 1: was going to be somber. I'm so sorry you have
Speaker 1: to tell that story. Never mind, moving right along No,
Speaker 1: it's funny too, because I've got a lot of really
Speaker 1: dumb tattoos. So you see a tattoo and odds are
Speaker 1: that it's gonna be a meaningless, idiotic, like hilarious story.
Speaker 1: But there's a couple that being one of them that
Speaker 1: are actually like meaningful, you know. Yeah, no, totally, just
Speaker 1: like the Instagram one with the blue checkmark that's very meaningful. Yeah,
Speaker 1: right next to the right, next to the blue checkmark.
Speaker 1: I think I've talked about this on the podcast before.
Speaker 1: I really want to get a tattoo of this artist,
Speaker 1: David Shrigley. Uh. He he's like a doodler. Have I
Speaker 1: talked about this before? Have you heard the story? I
Speaker 1: don't think I don't think so either. Okay, So I
Speaker 1: really want to get this tattoo and uh and I
Speaker 1: really want to get it like on my quad, like
Speaker 1: on my leg and like a very visible area if
Speaker 1: you wear like shorts, you know. And when when I
Speaker 1: broke my leg, Caitlin and I were spending time in
Speaker 1: London and we went to this restaurant and there were
Speaker 1: these freaking hilarious drawings all over the walls, like little
Speaker 1: doodles with like funny little uh, not like proverbs, but
Speaker 1: like little like snippets of words on the bottom or
Speaker 1: top or whatever, you know, like monkey, big monkey, like
Speaker 1: super like ridiculously like basic, but like hilarious at the
Speaker 1: same time. And I started, I started following the artists
Speaker 1: on Instagram, and uh, he posted this thing one day.
Speaker 1: It's like literally like a you know, like a like
Speaker 1: a hobo's knapsack where they like sling a thing together
Speaker 1: over like a over a stick that they throw over
Speaker 1: their shoulder like that kind of thing. Is hobo politically
Speaker 1: correct to say anymore? Um, I don't think it's really
Speaker 1: like it's kind of like a yeah, I think it's
Speaker 1: I think it's perfectly fun to say. I know, the knapsack.
Speaker 1: That's totally kind of like one of the seven Dwarves
Speaker 1: when they're they're going to work and they're whistling to work,
Speaker 1: they carry the knapsack over the show exactly exactly like
Speaker 1: the seven doors. Let's go seven Dwarves and go ahead
Speaker 1: and leap out the hobo that I said earlier. But
Speaker 1: I still think it's pc. It's okay. Anyways, it's basically
Speaker 1: one of those and on the sacked on like the
Speaker 1: knapsack it just says bag of rats, and I just
Speaker 1: want to get a big I want to get a
Speaker 1: big tattoo of a knapsack with the words bag of
Speaker 1: rats on it, right on my quad. Um. I'll be
Speaker 1: honest with you, as I totally forgot where this whole
Speaker 1: story was gone. I'm saying, we were talking about tattoos.
Speaker 1: To bring it back to dating, I, while you were
Speaker 1: talking about a sack of rats. I went to men
Speaker 1: bag of rats. Excuse me. I went to Men's Journal
Speaker 1: dot com and I was curious if women like guys
Speaker 1: with tattoos. And so there's this article that asked twenty women,
Speaker 1: do you like guys with tattoos? And pretty much universally
Speaker 1: all of them have said, yes, I like tattoos. They
Speaker 1: said no on piercings. They said. The only tattoos that
Speaker 1: they really don't like our neck tattoos um or really
Speaker 1: really ridiculous tattoos. But they say that guys who have tattoos,
Speaker 1: depending where they are, um that have meaning behind them
Speaker 1: and are really thought out. They see a sexy Sure, yeah,
Speaker 1: I can see that. And that's kind of why I
Speaker 1: sprinkled a couple of meaningful ones in there. You know, tattoos.
Speaker 1: Tattoos are funny. I know you don't have any tattoos,
Speaker 1: sarre I want a tattoo, though, I was just gonna say,
Speaker 1: I'm surprised you don't because you are, um, you know,
Speaker 1: for all your faults, you are very very passionate about
Speaker 1: a lot of things. And I think that's the problem.
Speaker 1: What am I going to get a tattoo of Tom
Speaker 1: Brady's face on my chest? Stuff? So that's kind to
Speaker 1: my point though, is like, of all the things that
Speaker 1: separate me and you, I think the biggest separation between
Speaker 1: you and me Dean and Jared is that you, uh you.
Speaker 1: I don't want to say, like obsess over things, but
Speaker 1: you took you take passion to a new level with
Speaker 1: with four things right, and I admire you so much
Speaker 1: for that. And I am the opposite. I can't do
Speaker 1: that at all, um, and I am the one with
Speaker 1: That's probably why I get stupid tattoos. But I guess
Speaker 1: my point that I'm trying to make is someone that's
Speaker 1: as passionate as you are. I'm surprised that you haven't, like,
Speaker 1: you know, taken the next step and primarily inkered on yourself.
Speaker 1: See that's why I find you so much more cultural
Speaker 1: than I am, though, because like you're so open to
Speaker 1: experiencing new things and doing things that you've never learned
Speaker 1: about before. We're me. I'm like, no, I like the
Speaker 1: things that I like, and I don't like the things
Speaker 1: that I don't like. So it's like I'm very passionate
Speaker 1: about about the things that I love. But if it's
Speaker 1: like something I haven't done or have no interest in,
Speaker 1: like you'd be like, yeah, sure, let's try it out.
Speaker 1: Where me, I'm like, no, I'm all set. I think
Speaker 1: I'm I think convincing. What about Like, let's talk about
Speaker 1: girls with tattoos? What do you think? I don't think
Speaker 1: actually has any tattoos? She did not, but I gotta
Speaker 1: I gotta admit I love tattoos on a girl. Really.
Speaker 1: I think it's the Ashley better cover her ears. But like,
Speaker 1: Ashley is the only person I care about anymore. But
Speaker 1: in my single days, I loved tattoos on girls. I
Speaker 1: find that incredibly sexy. So like, what kind of tattoos
Speaker 1: that like, like a whole arm sleep or what. I
Speaker 1: don't know, man, I kind of think arm sleeve is
Speaker 1: pretty hot. It depending on the girl, obviously, you know,
Speaker 1: if ash had an arm sleeve, it would be freely weird.
Speaker 1: But I don't know, like I I just I like
Speaker 1: girls with tattoos. Like even sometimes when the girl has
Speaker 1: like a tattoo on her ankle or um, it's you know,
Speaker 1: I don't want I don't think kind of like a
Speaker 1: girl with just like a tattoo on like her biceps,
Speaker 1: you know, but if it's like a full arm sleeve
Speaker 1: or like tattoo like on her ribs, you know, like
Speaker 1: the lettering down the side, right, I like on it.
Speaker 1: There was like a tan girl who wears, you know,
Speaker 1: a two piece bikini and has like a tattoo on
Speaker 1: her side rib. We're getting into like Jared's like fetishes
Speaker 1: over here. I feel like, oh, yeah, that was I think.
Speaker 1: And I've always said ever since a young age. And
Speaker 1: I said a lot of dumb things at young ages,
Speaker 1: but this is one of the few things that I
Speaker 1: stood by ever since. I remember my first time saying
Speaker 1: it is the rib tattoo like you were talking about,
Speaker 1: I think might be the sexiest place girl can get
Speaker 1: a tattoo, like a vertical tattoo of like some stupid
Speaker 1: quote that no one really cares about. I I think
Speaker 1: it is pretty sexy. I agree that the like the
Speaker 1: quote unquote tramp stamp the lower back one. I could
Speaker 1: go like, I don't actually hate that. I know weird
Speaker 1: a lot of you know, I should say I don't
Speaker 1: like that. I don't hate it you like tramp stamps? Also? Okay, wait,
Speaker 1: I don't need to back up for a second. If
Speaker 1: Hobo is not politically correct, tramp stamp cannot be politically
Speaker 1: that's true, I guess. So yeah, maybe I shouldn't say
Speaker 1: like that, but I think of wedding crashers, remember that
Speaker 1: part where like a girl eiggsactly, Yeah, tattoo on the
Speaker 1: lower back might as well be a bullsh I don't know,
Speaker 1: but I I definitely I find girls with like do
Speaker 1: you think do you think Ashley would ever get a tattoo? Though?
Speaker 1: Uh No, I don't think she would want a tattoo.
Speaker 1: This isn't fair her personality, you know. I mean, do
Speaker 1: you want to know what's funny? Actually, Kaylin and I
Speaker 1: were supposed to get matching tattoos like a year and
Speaker 1: a half ago, and we get to the tattoo, we
Speaker 1: like figure out what we're gonna get. So so Caitlin's
Speaker 1: old roommate had an avocado on her ankle and her
Speaker 1: boyfriend had the other side of the avocado with like
Speaker 1: the pit in it, and it was like pretty cute
Speaker 1: and like funny, and you want to do something similar
Speaker 1: to that. And so we were like figuring out what
Speaker 1: we're gonna do, and I got this. We were like, Okay,
Speaker 1: what we're gonna do is I'm gonna get an airplane
Speaker 1: and Kitlin is gonna get you. No, I'm sorry, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna get a parachuoter like like a skydiver, and Caitlin
Speaker 1: is gonna get an airplane like this guy ever jumps
Speaker 1: out of the airplane kind of thing. And we go
Speaker 1: to the tattoo parlor and we both get our artwork
Speaker 1: picked out and everything, and I go first and I
Speaker 1: get the tattoo of the skuy diver on my back,
Speaker 1: and then Calin is supposed to go and she completely bails.
Speaker 1: She didn't get the tattoo. And to this day, even
Speaker 1: to this day, not every day, but like pretty often
Speaker 1: she's like, yeah, like I want to get a tattooed
Speaker 1: blah blah blah, and I'm like, you don't want to
Speaker 1: get a tattoo, because last time we literally were there
Speaker 1: ready to get a tattoo, you literally just said no,
Speaker 1: I don't want to get anymore. So I don't know. Couples,
Speaker 1: what do you think about couple of tattoos? Like would
Speaker 1: you ask you ever get one? I don't know if
Speaker 1: I even when you were telling a story about couple
Speaker 1: of tattoos, and like the avocado on the pit, it's
Speaker 1: cute individual, you know, perspective, I don't know if it's
Speaker 1: for me. Gotta be honest, Like I remember Grant and Lace.
Speaker 1: Now granted they knew each other for like two weeks,
Speaker 1: but Grant and Lacey got engaged on Batchlan Paradays three,
Speaker 1: they got matching tattoos before they got engaged in the show,
Speaker 1: obviously broke up, both got their tattoos removed, and it's like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I mean, I just I don't know.
Speaker 1: Maybe matching tattoos. I guess, like maybe someone has like
Speaker 1: the puzzle piece, you know, and the other one has
Speaker 1: like the full puzzle with one missing piece. I don't know,
Speaker 1: just off the top of your head, that is actually
Speaker 1: a very good tattoo idea. And I'm gonna maybe I'm
Speaker 1: gonna pitch it Calan on the idea it's always funny.
Speaker 1: I think matching is different like it's I think, if
Speaker 1: I remember correctly, Grant and Lace got literally the exact
Speaker 1: same tattoo. But the nice thing about doing something that's
Speaker 1: like same but different but equal is maybe better because
Speaker 1: like let's say, god forbid, someone breaks up, it's like,
Speaker 1: at least you don't share that tattoo with someone else.
Speaker 1: It's just like you. You could just be like, oh,
Speaker 1: I love skydiving. That's why I have. It has nothing
Speaker 1: to do with someone else getting a plane, even though you,
Speaker 1: Caitlin are obviously going to spend the rest of your
Speaker 1: life together, right right right, Well, that's the nice thing
Speaker 1: about so that sky ever was in my back. I've
Speaker 1: got a lot of dumb tattoos in my back, and
Speaker 1: I think about it back is you can't really ever
Speaker 1: see it, so I don't even really know what my
Speaker 1: back looks like, you know. And I honestly think girls
Speaker 1: like tattoos on guys better when they're hidden, because it's
Speaker 1: a nice, like little surprise. I remember a girl told
Speaker 1: me that one time. She's like, I find it incredibly
Speaker 1: sexy when a guy has a tattoo on you know,
Speaker 1: parts of their body that we can't see, so like
Speaker 1: when he takes off his shirt, it's a surprise, and
Speaker 1: it's like a sexy surprise, unless it's like, you know, uh,
Speaker 1: you know, a tattoo of my dog Lois, who's freaking
Speaker 1: out right now in the other room. But even that
Speaker 1: could be pretty cool. I might be repulsed by, you know,
Speaker 1: the fat rolls and stuff, but at least I'm turned
Speaker 1: on by the tattoos kind of thing. Oh your fare Roles.
Speaker 1: I thought you were talking about my dog. I was like, bro, okay,
Speaker 1: she might be a little overweight, but we're working on it.
Speaker 1: We're trying to get her on a diet. Crap about
Speaker 1: Lois like that, Come on, that's right. Well, we have
Speaker 1: a great episode coming up for you. Like we said,
Speaker 1: we have interesting segue. We have Alex Durant coming on now.
Speaker 1: He is the founder of Jigsaw, which is a brand
Speaker 1: new dating app which reminds me of the movie Saw.
Speaker 1: I don't know if anybody's ever seen that, but jig
Speaker 1: Saw as the killer in there, so I'm interested to
Speaker 1: ask him about that, you know. But Jigsaw's brand new
Speaker 1: app about pretty much blind going on blind Dates. So
Speaker 1: I'm very interested to discuss that with Alex coming up.
Speaker 1: But before we talk to Alex, let's take a quick break, Jared,
Speaker 1: Before we take a quick break, I need to figure
Speaker 1: this out. And you just saying it made me think
Speaker 1: about this is the reason that the movie called Saw?
Speaker 1: Is it because it's short for Jigsaw? Yes? And now
Speaker 1: he blew your mind, didn't it? I believe so? Yeah.
Speaker 1: And plus it's like a play on words because he
Speaker 1: has to saw his foot off at the end of
Speaker 1: the movie spoiler alert for a movie that's twenty years old.
Speaker 1: But there's like seven of the movies. Yeah, but like
Speaker 1: the first one obviously was the reason why they titled it.
Speaker 1: The rest was just marketing, you know, moving on from
Speaker 1: the story. But like the first one, jig saw, so
Speaker 1: they cut it off and put saw and then of
Speaker 1: course like he saw his foot off at the end
Speaker 1: of the movie. I've always known his name was Jigsaw,
Speaker 1: and obviously the movie is Saw. It never until now
Speaker 1: just piece together that they may be named the movie
Speaker 1: after Jack Saw, who's not even the main character. I say,
Speaker 1: But anyways, we're gonna chase the killer. But also a
Speaker 1: quick thing about that, do you know that there's a
Speaker 1: new stock coming out, but it's like a spin off.
Speaker 1: It's called Spiral, and it's produced and starred by Chris
Speaker 1: Rock and it has Samuel Jackson in it and it
Speaker 1: looks freaking awesome. I'm supposed to come out last year,
Speaker 1: it's coming out this year. Anyway, Long story short, Hey,
Speaker 1: we've been needing to take a break for a minute.
Speaker 1: Let's take a break and get back into uh hey,
Speaker 1: welcome back to help I suck at dating. Like we
Speaker 1: tease before the break, we have a great guest who's
Speaker 1: on the line joining us from across the Atlantic. It
Speaker 1: is the CEO and co founder of the brand new
Speaker 1: dating app Jigsaw. It is Alex Durant. Alex, thank you
Speaker 1: so much for joining us today and help I suck
Speaker 1: at dating. Yeah, brilliant. Thanks for having me guys, of course,
Speaker 1: So Alex, a big question is do you suck at dating? Oh? Yeah,
Speaker 1: totally big time me and my co founder. But we'll
Speaker 1: get into this lighter. My co founder Max, you know,
Speaker 1: we've been friends since we're fifteen. He's he's publicly failed
Speaker 1: the dating I've just done. I've just done mine behind
Speaker 1: closed doors, publicly failed. Besides no, I've gone into it
Speaker 1: straight away. He's gonna kill me for this. So we've
Speaker 1: got we have a we have a a dating show
Speaker 1: over in the UK called First Dates. I don't know
Speaker 1: if you've heard that clips. Yes, so it's just like
Speaker 1: theysic sit down in a restaurant, um and they just
Speaker 1: film every single moment of a first dagh. Was this
Speaker 1: on Netflix? Yes? On Netflix? Now, Oh, I have seen
Speaker 1: this show. Ashley was watching it and I watched an
Speaker 1: episode with her. Amazing. Yes, So it's just was was
Speaker 1: it the British version or was was it the US version?
Speaker 1: It might have been the US version because the reason
Speaker 1: I heard about it one of the producers of The
Speaker 1: Bachelor of the show Dean and I were on, was
Speaker 1: working on it. Oh cool, brilliant. So yeah, so it's
Speaker 1: so yeah, I guess he's probably exactly the same format
Speaker 1: they have. You know, two people turn up to a restaurant,
Speaker 1: they sit down and they have a first date. And yeah,
Speaker 1: my co founder MAXI went on there on that about
Speaker 1: three years ago and he calls it the gift that
Speaker 1: keeps on giving, because it was it was obviously live
Speaker 1: on TV about three years ago and about six months
Speaker 1: ago it went onto Netflix and he was like, oh great,
Speaker 1: and I'm assuming it did not work out for him,
Speaker 1: which is why he's not happy about they Yeah, I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: they seem to have a good date and they weren't compatible.
Speaker 1: But if he famously asked her what her favorite size
Speaker 1: of paper was A four or a three, that might
Speaker 1: be the worst question ever asked on the first date?
Speaker 1: Wait is eight four and eight three? Two different sides?
Speaker 1: Do you guys not have those sizes of paper? That
Speaker 1: might be the we have that I know at least
Speaker 1: it's like an eight by twelve, right, I think, see
Speaker 1: you guys, Yeah, you guys measure in interest. He's got
Speaker 1: no chance over in the US, as our producer just
Speaker 1: in formed, was this eight and a half by eight
Speaker 1: point five by eleven? Apparently very close? But let's transition
Speaker 1: to your obviously eating up, which is where you're here.
Speaker 1: So talk about what Jigsaw is, why you wanted to
Speaker 1: create it? Uh, and right now, I know it's London,
Speaker 1: but you guys are making your way over the States
Speaker 1: as well. Yeah, yes, so we recently just launched in
Speaker 1: the US. But yeah, plain and simply, you know, Jigsaw
Speaker 1: exists to encourage and enable people to look on the looks.
Speaker 1: You know, we're we're all guilty of prejudgments and we're
Speaker 1: aware of the negative impact that comes from that. And
Speaker 1: so what we do is we cover every single one
Speaker 1: of our users faces in the Jigsaw puzzle that reveals
Speaker 1: piece by piece as people communicate with one another. So
Speaker 1: what we're trying to do there, if you're trying to
Speaker 1: create an environment online, which we all know is you know,
Speaker 1: full of photo first applications, you know, conversation second, if
Speaker 1: you even get to that, what we're trying to do
Speaker 1: there is we're trying to recreate as much as we can,
Speaker 1: sort of that the spark of the art of conversation
Speaker 1: from I'm doing quote marks in my hands the olden days, uh,
Speaker 1: and trying to create you know, this fifty fifty personality
Speaker 1: and looks because we all know looks matter, and you
Speaker 1: know with Jigsaw, you know you unveil and see what
Speaker 1: somebody looks like pretty quickly. You know, we're not in
Speaker 1: the business of wasting people's time. But at the same time,
Speaker 1: you need to give people a chance, and you need
Speaker 1: to have a conversation with someone before you can fully
Speaker 1: judge them. And that's the full premise of what Chicksaw
Speaker 1: is based upon, and it, as you can probably imagine,
Speaker 1: comes from mine and Max's personal struggles dating apps. But
Speaker 1: you're very good looking man, so I can't imagine that
Speaker 1: you were too funny. That's funny putting your picture online
Speaker 1: Tinder and bumbles. Our algorithms beg to differ based on
Speaker 1: my old match, right, So you know, me and me
Speaker 1: and Max, and I'm sure you know many many many
Speaker 1: guys out there are guilty of the swiping right on
Speaker 1: every single, every single person to get you know, a
Speaker 1: very very minimal return. So you play the ads exactly,
Speaker 1: everybody against the at that point exactly. So you know,
Speaker 1: that just came from our our own personal experience with that,
Speaker 1: and we we were lucky enough to be at that
Speaker 1: age where when we were in our late teens, there
Speaker 1: were no dating apps. And then Max went off to college.
Speaker 1: I actually went into work at the same time, but
Speaker 1: actually ended up living in like the college house with
Speaker 1: like another guy's and then shocked Tim to hit the
Speaker 1: university campus. Everyone went wild and Max I can't take
Speaker 1: credit for this. Maximu co founder is the is the
Speaker 1: creative one between us and he you know, he just
Speaker 1: instantly thought, this is crazy. You know, everybody's just everyone's
Speaker 1: going mad comparing photos of one another. But who's actually
Speaker 1: talking on these dating apps? And why isn't there a
Speaker 1: dating app out there? But conversation first and photo second.
Speaker 1: That was the original idea and ever since then, you know,
Speaker 1: ave itterated and changed it to where we are today,
Speaker 1: where we just cover users faces in a jigsaw puzzle
Speaker 1: and after a short conversation, now you're unveil each other
Speaker 1: and see who each other are and decide if you
Speaker 1: part ways or continue. You want to know what you want. Know.
Speaker 1: What's funny about this is we've talked to other um,
Speaker 1: you know, I guess for about lack a better word,
Speaker 1: like inventors of dating apps, right, And from what I've gathered,
Speaker 1: more or less, every single one of them is very similar,
Speaker 1: very much the same premise. This one sounds like original
Speaker 1: and gore to me because it's like, yeah, right, like
Speaker 1: how often you gonna have a conversation with someone before
Speaker 1: you see their photo? And it's like that's me. Like
Speaker 1: my biggest great with a lot of these things is
Speaker 1: none of them are super proprietary, but it sounds like
Speaker 1: interesting and core. Cheers Man, yeah, it's it's so you know,
Speaker 1: ultimately the puzzles a bit of a red herring in this.
Speaker 1: It's just you know, creating a community of people that
Speaker 1: are saying, hey, looks aren't the most important thing to me,
Speaker 1: and ultimately, you know, for us as well, you know,
Speaker 1: the puzzles a bit of a middle finger to the
Speaker 1: rest of the dating industry that we do think exactly
Speaker 1: what you've said they're dean is you know, they're all
Speaker 1: pretty much pretty similar and they've got the same formula. Um.
Speaker 1: So yeah, we're really just trying to you know, change
Speaker 1: that up, to do something completely different and disrupt the
Speaker 1: industry is something that you know, um, me and Max
Speaker 1: feel really really personally strong about that it should be
Speaker 1: one of the most progressive and most important industries in
Speaker 1: the world, but for some reason it seems to have
Speaker 1: stagnated over the last few years, and we really just
Speaker 1: want to push that forwards and you know and create
Speaker 1: something that genuinely creates more connections and people going through
Speaker 1: the numbers game in the right, which is talking and
Speaker 1: meeting lots of people rather than you know, saying yes
Speaker 1: or known. Swiping left or right primarily based on photos
Speaker 1: are a Lot of Love is Blind. Have you seen
Speaker 1: that show? Yeah, totally, Yeah, exactly, And we've got something,
Speaker 1: you know, we've had something similar over in the UK,
Speaker 1: and it's it's definitely something that's coming up as a
Speaker 1: little bit more and more of a trend now, which
Speaker 1: is great for us to see. You know, people are
Speaker 1: starting to you know, understand and analyzed what dating has become.
Speaker 1: You know, in modern times, it has unfortunately become more
Speaker 1: and more superficial. And I think it's I think it's
Speaker 1: a bit of a combination of both Tinder and Instagram
Speaker 1: basically came out in exactly the same year, so you've
Speaker 1: almost got that like combination of two like huge viral
Speaker 1: successes that have like pointed society in a certain direction.
Speaker 1: And then suddenly everyone's like right now, and especially through covid,
Speaker 1: you know, we've taken stock and gone, wait a minute.
Speaker 1: You know, these products are what we're using every day,
Speaker 1: But are they actually the best thing for me? Are
Speaker 1: they actually long term going to give me, you know,
Speaker 1: the happiness that I'm looking for? Yeah? I think Filter
Speaker 1: has really changed the game, you know, as they made
Speaker 1: everybody look you know, they saw some people online looking
Speaker 1: perfect like well, I want to look perfect. Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: And it's it's you know, it's the combination of you know,
Speaker 1: sort of you know, put plastic surgery as well in
Speaker 1: terms of you know, fillers and things like that they've
Speaker 1: taken off massively as well. And it's all this sort
Speaker 1: of almost comes from this sort of facewarping side of things.
Speaker 1: I mean, on our app we've we've banned any facewarping filters.
Speaker 1: Um it's also really important for us as well, Right,
Speaker 1: if you're going to put invest time in having a
Speaker 1: conversation with someone, you want to make sure the person
Speaker 1: who unveil is actually looks like what they look like
Speaker 1: in real life. Um so, so yeah, I mean it's
Speaker 1: you know, it's taken, it's taken an interesting direction. But
Speaker 1: I think I think there's you know, there's a change
Speaker 1: happening and we and we want to lead that. How
Speaker 1: do you how do you combat that? Like the cat
Speaker 1: fishing aspect of it, like you're just talking about, because
Speaker 1: I mean there's only so much you know, the you
Speaker 1: can scrub I guess until like eventually someone meets a
Speaker 1: person and they're like, wait, this is the person I'm
Speaker 1: supposed to be meeting is there like a way that
Speaker 1: you're able to like like weave that out. Yeah, totally.
Speaker 1: So we just have UM. So we have a verification
Speaker 1: in the application where we ask our users to take
Speaker 1: a selfie. UM, they send in and it gets compared
Speaker 1: by human to the actual photos and what they look like. Uh.
Speaker 1: And you know you can a lot of other companies
Speaker 1: use sort of AI and things to try and do
Speaker 1: that and like triangulate the face. I guess. Funny enough,
Speaker 1: we do use that to cover the face and the puzzle. Um.
Speaker 1: But yeah, we use all of our users photos that
Speaker 1: are submitted to very verification or all done by humans.
Speaker 1: So it's just you know, do they look the same, yes,
Speaker 1: If do they not look the same, no, And if
Speaker 1: they don't look the same, you know they get rejected,
Speaker 1: right right. I mean I've never I've never actually officially
Speaker 1: been catfish, but I've been misled. Uh, you haven't big
Speaker 1: catfish that you know of, you you could have been
Speaker 1: catfish and just never like met up with the person. Fair,
Speaker 1: very fair. I mean I definitely was pretty flaky. I
Speaker 1: did need to put a lot of people. I was
Speaker 1: probably the worst person to ever be on a dating
Speaker 1: it because I was always like super interested, and I
Speaker 1: would like lose interest. And then in the right there
Speaker 1: were people that were I'm surprised you didn't cancel on
Speaker 1: me tonight when they were you know, five years ago,
Speaker 1: when they were like fit in that, drinking as much
Speaker 1: and like all that stuff, and then you meet them
Speaker 1: in person, you're like, wait a second, this isn't it right.
Speaker 1: I never had a cat fishing experience. Yeah, it's um,
Speaker 1: you know, it's it's a it's a really a big deal,
Speaker 1: and it's it's something a lot of people are worried about. Um.
Speaker 1: And I'm sure probably after a couple of times when
Speaker 1: you met someone dean and they weren't exactly who they
Speaker 1: said they were, probably part of the reason you might
Speaker 1: have flaked later on because you're like, you know, do
Speaker 1: I want to meet this personal they're going to be
Speaker 1: actually who they say they were, So so I think,
Speaker 1: you know, dating apps can definitely do a lot more
Speaker 1: in that respect. We've recently seen Tinder has only in
Speaker 1: the last six months actually bringing brought on verification bumble
Speaker 1: did it way before that. I'm not sure we're hinges
Speaker 1: at with that at the moment. I'm not sure they've
Speaker 1: got it right now. But um, but for me personally,
Speaker 1: you know, I think it's it's something that should be
Speaker 1: almost mandatory for all dating apps out there. It's becoming
Speaker 1: you know, catfishing, and not only cat fishing, but also
Speaker 1: you know, just people feel more responsible the second they've
Speaker 1: verified their folk profile as well, and we all know
Speaker 1: the horrific problems of abuse on dating apps. And for me,
Speaker 1: you know, I hope that you know, governments do take
Speaker 1: some positive steps forward in terms of dating apps and
Speaker 1: making this sort of stuff mandatory fall in the platforms. Yeah,
Speaker 1: this is a good spin on dating apps because I
Speaker 1: feel like a lot of dating apps are similar obviously, right,
Speaker 1: whether it be bumble or tender or hinge, like, they
Speaker 1: all have their different unique qualities about them, but none
Speaker 1: of them are changing the game. Where I feel like
Speaker 1: Jigsaw is trying to change the game and saying, Okay,
Speaker 1: we have all of these dating apps, all of these
Speaker 1: social media tools where the first thing you see is
Speaker 1: someone's picture, why don't we try to flip that on
Speaker 1: its head? And the first thing you know about someone
Speaker 1: is their personality and then they reveal themselves physically and
Speaker 1: exactly and and how that works as well as the
Speaker 1: puzzle only unveils through mutual communication. So if I send
Speaker 1: you a hundred messages Jared like, and you send me
Speaker 1: one back, there's only two pieces. So it has to
Speaker 1: be that back and forth. It has to be two
Speaker 1: p people being real, right, And that's why you know
Speaker 1: jigsaws and you know our tagline really is reveal what's
Speaker 1: real because the only thing that's real is communication. Before that,
Speaker 1: you're just looking at profiles. You're just looking at photos
Speaker 1: that is not real. The only time you get to
Speaker 1: a real position is when you're talking to someone, Alex,
Speaker 1: how do you match people there? Like? Because you know
Speaker 1: there's let's say Jigsaw has a million users, right like, yeah,
Speaker 1: five thousand girls poking a thousand guys. Am I just
Speaker 1: gonna match with any of those five people? Like randomly?
Speaker 1: Or is there like a like a personality like quiz
Speaker 1: or like so we have so so you can so
Speaker 1: you know, we use a sign up to the app. Um.
Speaker 1: You know, we accommodate you know, all gender identities that
Speaker 1: we actually follow Facebook standard there um, So you you
Speaker 1: sign up in that way, you then choose what you're
Speaker 1: looking for, and that's you know, whoever you choose who anybody, uh,
Speaker 1: you choose for the gender that you are, you're looking
Speaker 1: for people who identify you, choose the distance away from you,
Speaker 1: and the age range. We also have a feature which
Speaker 1: is called day outside the Box, which is actually just
Speaker 1: give me anybody anywhere and I'll see what happens, which
Speaker 1: I also was like, it's almost like our anti filter,
Speaker 1: because we're we really against you know, these laundry lists
Speaker 1: that people have which are like, you know, I need
Speaker 1: x y z da da da da da um. You know,
Speaker 1: we really tried to come away from that, but very
Speaker 1: similar to a lot of other dating apps out there,
Speaker 1: you know, we there is a bit of a gold
Speaker 1: standard there. What we do want to follow, which is,
Speaker 1: you know, a profile you can build so you can
Speaker 1: add you know, of course your name, your age, essential
Speaker 1: pieces as we call it, so that's you know, you're
Speaker 1: drinking habits, you're eating habits, or exercising habits. We specifically
Speaker 1: don't ask for height, you know, waight, ethnicity, but we
Speaker 1: do ask for things like religion. We ask for things
Speaker 1: ultimately that aren't superficial labels for yourself. And we also
Speaker 1: have these Q and A templates you know that make
Speaker 1: things super easy for you to respond and show your personality,
Speaker 1: and you upload up to four photos but remembers only
Speaker 1: the face covered in the jigsaw puzzles. So we don't
Speaker 1: want to restrict all imagery completely because pictures can speak
Speaker 1: of other words. So you know, if you have got
Speaker 1: pictures of you, you know, doing your hobbies out and about,
Speaker 1: we want you to get to showcase that and showcase
Speaker 1: your personality through that. So it legitimately just shows you.
Speaker 1: As you talk more, you're really getting certain puzzle pieces.
Speaker 1: Exactly is there like any algorithm that like you start
Speaker 1: with the eyes and then you move on or is
Speaker 1: it just completely random? And so we try like as
Speaker 1: I said, as I said earlier, like we're not in
Speaker 1: the business of wasting people's time, and looks to matter ultimately,
Speaker 1: and what we're trying to create is that fifty fifty
Speaker 1: right if this is this is not us saying looks
Speaker 1: don't matter, you know, get over it. No, they do,
Speaker 1: you know. So it is a fundamental part of how
Speaker 1: people are attracted to each other. So early on we
Speaker 1: tried to give away sort of some some key parts
Speaker 1: of the face. We give up like in the within
Speaker 1: the first two pieces that unveil is either sort of
Speaker 1: an eye mouth knows you know. The thing's eyes are
Speaker 1: obviously really really important, especially for people to know engage
Speaker 1: and make sure you know, they see that that person
Speaker 1: is real as well, which is really a hoortant um.
Speaker 1: So what we do is when users um are searching
Speaker 1: for other users, one piece is already unveiled, and then
Speaker 1: when you like someone, a second piece unveils, and then
Speaker 1: when you match. So when two people like each other
Speaker 1: to see the match, you can also send a message
Speaker 1: to match um. Then you go into the matches screen,
Speaker 1: and then when you unveil each other, there's seven mutual
Speaker 1: messages to unveil each other completely. But as I said,
Speaker 1: you you can get you can get you know, a
Speaker 1: good idea of what somebody looks like after sending sort
Speaker 1: of two or three messages. It just sounds it sounds fun.
Speaker 1: It sounds like it's like a thing like where you're
Speaker 1: logging on you're like excited for the process of unveiling
Speaker 1: someone you know, like like Jared said, like love is blind, uh,
Speaker 1: but just like on a dating platform where it's like yeah,
Speaker 1: you start to chip away and like learn about each other,
Speaker 1: but then you unlock her knows and you're like, oh
Speaker 1: my gosh, this girl just keeps getting better and better.
Speaker 1: Look at that. Knows love that. I love that positivity.
Speaker 1: But yeah, it's exactly you know, and it's that's exactly
Speaker 1: what we're going for. We know, it's as we we've
Speaker 1: all you know, grown attached to our owns. You know
Speaker 1: that gamification is something that obviously people need to stay
Speaker 1: you know, engaged with MAP and that's what that's what
Speaker 1: we try to provide with that. But ultimately, you know,
Speaker 1: we're just we're just trying to get people to talk
Speaker 1: to each other more and just you know, as as
Speaker 1: as I actually was listening a list day to a
Speaker 1: podcast from you guys, a couple of episodes back about
Speaker 1: It Mentions and schmucks. Oh yeah, her name is Robin Yeah,
Speaker 1: she um yeah, and she she was just go. She
Speaker 1: she she really framed online dating in a great way.
Speaker 1: She was I think you guys were talking about sort
Speaker 1: of dating in New York and just how fast paced
Speaker 1: it is, and she was like, just just like online dating,
Speaker 1: nobody gives anyone a chance. And that's the problem that
Speaker 1: so many people that could be a potential partner for you,
Speaker 1: within a split second you said no to because you
Speaker 1: just didn't have the time for one little thing you
Speaker 1: saw you didn't like, or you know, just something on
Speaker 1: your laundry list that wasn't ticked but actually saw too
Speaker 1: many options. That's one of the issues. Yeah, everybody has
Speaker 1: the mentality of the grass is always greener on the
Speaker 1: other side. So it's like, yeah, this girl is great
Speaker 1: or this guy is great, but I have twenty other
Speaker 1: people I can meet as well, so like, maybe I
Speaker 1: should focus on them instead. And so I do think
Speaker 1: that sometimes marriage isn't as successful the days, just for
Speaker 1: the simple fact that there's just so many more options
Speaker 1: were thirty years ago, you know, there was the lack
Speaker 1: of the communication, lack of technology so you can communicate
Speaker 1: with people who lived in different parts of the country.
Speaker 1: It was like, no, you marry people in your neighborhood
Speaker 1: and your city and your states, so on and so forth.
Speaker 1: But Dean, Dean, I wanted to ask you, what's your
Speaker 1: favorite part what's your favorite part of someone's face? So
Speaker 1: if you were to unveil unveil somebody's face for like,
Speaker 1: what part would you want to see first? Well, I
Speaker 1: think about that. I want to I want to say
Speaker 1: my least favorite thing about dating apps that I've experienced
Speaker 1: has been to your point here that when you're talking
Speaker 1: to someone and you know that they're talking like twenty
Speaker 1: other guys, that always just really kind of hurts me
Speaker 1: quite a bit, you know, like you know, you can
Speaker 1: just kind of pick up on those things. Um, So
Speaker 1: I'm sure Jake saw is obviously much different because like you,
Speaker 1: like you were saying, Alex takes a little bit of
Speaker 1: time to oncover them. But away's my favorite part of
Speaker 1: someone's face. Man. I was kind of thinking about this
Speaker 1: random of the other day. I really admire caling smile
Speaker 1: a lot, uh, and she's been open about it. Caitlin
Speaker 1: has Berniers, like you know, like different four teeth. So
Speaker 1: it's like I always kind of think it's funny to
Speaker 1: me that one of my favorite things about her is
Speaker 1: a smile, because you know her teeth are fake. But
Speaker 1: but it's not. It's not it's not just the teeth,
Speaker 1: like it's you know, it's when when somebody smiles. You're
Speaker 1: smiling right now, Dean, and you're making me smile, right so,
Speaker 1: like it's a very smile he does, doesn't. I agree?
Speaker 1: I agree, there's more to it. Than just the teeth.
Speaker 1: But but I would say smile nine times out of
Speaker 1: ten is the first thing I look at that and
Speaker 1: not just in people of the opposite sex, but like
Speaker 1: you know, if you're meeting a new friend for the
Speaker 1: first time or something like that. I don't know why,
Speaker 1: but like my eyes always go towards the smile. What
Speaker 1: about you guys, Yeah, definitely think yes, smiling eyes are
Speaker 1: really up there. I mean obviously just that eye contacts
Speaker 1: in you know, in real life, you know, conversation and situation.
Speaker 1: You know, that's you know, just you can you can
Speaker 1: see a lot of things in the eyes. Have you
Speaker 1: seen that thing as well where they compare um like
Speaker 1: eyes to galaxies and how mind blow? So that's another
Speaker 1: time I have to say eyes for that reason, that's cool.
Speaker 1: I didn't know that. I gotta look more into that
Speaker 1: they compare eyes to galaxy. It's just like it's just
Speaker 1: like artistic rendition or like you know of like comparing
Speaker 1: an eye to a galaxy and you can see the
Speaker 1: way it's like swirling. I'm sure you've seen them, you know,
Speaker 1: you know, Yeah, that's pretty cool. I guess my favorite
Speaker 1: part is definitely eyes. Sometimes it actually makes fun of me.
Speaker 1: You know, what I really like is it's just random.
Speaker 1: But when girls do like cat eyes, I love. I
Speaker 1: love cat eyes too, brilliant. I think they're great. So like,
Speaker 1: if if the puzzle piece was coming together and there
Speaker 1: were cat eyes, I'd be like, oh, I'm not only
Speaker 1: do you have that, but you also at the same
Speaker 1: time like having a conversation where you're the personality each
Speaker 1: other's understanding each other's sense of humor. And then boom,
Speaker 1: you know, suddenly those eyes mean ten times more because
Speaker 1: not only are those eyes you like, but that also
Speaker 1: you like combined with a personality like person so important.
Speaker 1: Alex was Alex was talking about eye contact, and eye
Speaker 1: contact is one of the things that I'm worsed at,
Speaker 1: so I, uh, you should work on that a little bit.
Speaker 1: But but yeah, no, I agree. Sometimes it can be awkward.
Speaker 1: So I can understand that I'm not good at eye
Speaker 1: contact either. I I respect people who are. But I
Speaker 1: noticed that when I'm listening to someone, I'm very good
Speaker 1: at eye contact. I'll look in their eyes when I'm listening.
Speaker 1: As soon as I start talking, I look away. Absolutely
Speaker 1: don't know why that is. There's definitely some sort of
Speaker 1: actually I couldn't put it any better myself. I thought
Speaker 1: that was just like an awkward British thing to not
Speaker 1: look at people's eyes. Feel better about that. I mean,
Speaker 1: I'd love to be British. I feel like women find
Speaker 1: British accents way sexier than you know, my Rhode Island
Speaker 1: accent where I can't pronounce words properly. Um, wait, Jared,
Speaker 1: before move on, are you saying that you wish that
Speaker 1: women found you more attractive? Uh? Yeah, you're married. Oh well,
Speaker 1: like I don't mean like I was trying to think
Speaker 1: of like my now I don't really cares right right,
Speaker 1: but I'm still a little vain. I want, like, you know,
Speaker 1: I want my wife to you know, look at me
Speaker 1: and be like damn yeh was sexy. Yeah, definitely need
Speaker 1: the affirmation. Yea, this is this is a bit off topic,
Speaker 1: but it was a pretty funny thing that happened. Like
Speaker 1: an hour ago. I was playing golf right with Wells
Speaker 1: and a couple other buddies, and I was explaining our
Speaker 1: podcast to one of the buddies and Wells looks at
Speaker 1: me and he goes, yeah, that's exactly it makes perfect sense. Too,
Speaker 1: good looking white guys talking about how hard dating is.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I just thought that was so funny
Speaker 1: to me because it was like, it's very true. Every
Speaker 1: time I did I'm not gonna lie. I did think
Speaker 1: that going onto here, I was like, right, I'm about
Speaker 1: to come onto this. These guys are incredibly good looking.
Speaker 1: How am I gonna gage this? We're just trying to
Speaker 1: We're trying to help to you know. Um, well, Alex,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining us. Say, we really
Speaker 1: appreciate So Jigsaw is coming to the States for everybody
Speaker 1: that's listening. You guys are in New York City right now,
Speaker 1: I believe. Yeah. Actually, over the last few days, we've
Speaker 1: started going U slide so um togeah, we're a Vaila
Speaker 1: will you know, download it everywhere you know ums as
Speaker 1: we as you know dating, you know, it's really about
Speaker 1: sort of how many people are on the app as
Speaker 1: well as much as how good the app is. So
Speaker 1: you know, we're doing our best trying to acquire as
Speaker 1: many users as possible for as many people to meet
Speaker 1: as possible. So so yeah, try it out wherever you are,
Speaker 1: and we're all is for feedback, you know, just just
Speaker 1: come at us and we'll we'll make it someone like
Speaker 1: me that's not looking for a relationship, but I could
Speaker 1: always use more friends. Is there like a friendship component
Speaker 1: to that? Yeah, totally. So when you come on part
Speaker 1: of the essential pieces, one of the infotags, you know,
Speaker 1: you say what you're looking for, and you know, if
Speaker 1: you you don't know what you're looking for, great, you
Speaker 1: know there's other people on there who don't know what
Speaker 1: they're looking for. And it's exactly that. It's you know,
Speaker 1: it's a place for people to come and communicate, and
Speaker 1: it's you know, it's a community of people that are,
Speaker 1: as I said, looking beyond the looks, and they're people
Speaker 1: who people who don't prioritize looks at the top. And
Speaker 1: that's exactly what you know, what jigsaws for. Cool? Awesome man, Well,
Speaker 1: thank you again, So everybody listening, you can go on
Speaker 1: the Apple Store or a Google Play downloading download Jigsaw
Speaker 1: right now. It is available United States wide. Alex Dourant,
Speaker 1: thank you so much for joining us. We really appreciate it, man,
Speaker 1: amazing chez. Thanks having me guys. Thanks man. All right,
Speaker 1: welcome back to help I suck at dating. And before
Speaker 1: we get into our favorite segment of the podcast, which
Speaker 1: of course is your wonderful emails. I have to say
Speaker 1: something because I feel like a buffoon right now. So Dean,
Speaker 1: when we record this podcast, and I'm actually admitting this
Speaker 1: not to the not just the audience right now, but
Speaker 1: also our producers and editors, I I have an apple
Speaker 1: next to me, because you know, we're sitting down. I
Speaker 1: was like, oh, I'll mute myself on zoom because what
Speaker 1: happens is we record via zoom, right, and then I
Speaker 1: have my mic set up over here which we record audio.
Speaker 1: Marc is shaking his head. I think he knows where
Speaker 1: I'm going with this. I have an apple next to me,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, no problem. Every time him
Speaker 1: I take a bite in the apple, I will mute myself.
Speaker 1: Makes sense, right. The problem is the audio that is
Speaker 1: you are listening to the audience is listening to comes
Speaker 1: from my mic. And unfortunately, like an idiot, I didn't
Speaker 1: put two and two together because I never muted myself
Speaker 1: on the audio that our producers used. I just muted
Speaker 1: myself on the zoom. So my question is there might
Speaker 1: be some apple sounds in the background, which I had
Speaker 1: a lightbulb moment. It was like, literally, right, at the
Speaker 1: end of our interview with Adam and I was like,
Speaker 1: wait a minute, I'm muting myself on zoom, but people
Speaker 1: can still hear hear me chewing my apple on the mic.
Speaker 1: So I just wanted to say, I'm so sorry about that.
Speaker 1: So what you're saying is you're sparing the four of
Speaker 1: us from having to listen to you an apple, but
Speaker 1: you're making everyone that listens to the podcast have to
Speaker 1: listen to you. Yeah. I think that's exactly what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: I feel really stupid right now. So later the do
Speaker 1: I feel stupid every day? Uh? You know what, at
Speaker 1: the end of the day, I think people are probably
Speaker 1: gonna like listening to Oh I beg to differ that one.
Speaker 1: So later this afternoon, when you're relaxing on the couch,
Speaker 1: maybe getting a massage, whatever you bachelor guys do in
Speaker 1: your spare time, I'm gonna be here sweating, editing out,
Speaker 1: apple crunching throughout an entire podcast. You know, Mark, Uh,
Speaker 1: you're a good man. Don't let anybody tell you otherwise.
Speaker 1: All we ask And by the way, I've gotten into
Speaker 1: this before with Jan and Mike. It's one hour a week.
Speaker 1: Is there any way to not eat for that one hour.
Speaker 1: I I will start doing that from now. And honestly, man,
Speaker 1: I thought I was like I cracked the code because
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I'll have an apple, I'll just
Speaker 1: mute myself, bought a ban bought a boom, and then
Speaker 1: it's like just popped in my head. I have no
Speaker 1: idea why I didn't think of this earlier. If I
Speaker 1: was like, wait a minute, I'm muting myself on zoom.
Speaker 1: They're using my audio from this recorder. I'm not muting
Speaker 1: myself on this recorder. Oh boy. So you know, Mark,
Speaker 1: you're just a good man and you deserve all the
Speaker 1: good things in this world. And uh, I sincerely let me.
Speaker 1: We're going to get you a bottle of wine. Fashion.
Speaker 1: I just want to get you a nice We're gonna
Speaker 1: put the people on it. We're going to figure that
Speaker 1: out for you. You had to listen to my husband
Speaker 1: eat an apple. We that he doesn't drink. We can't
Speaker 1: get wine. I have wine sometimes he doesn't drink. And
Speaker 1: why are you barging into my podcast? I'm barging in.
Speaker 1: Do you guys if I barged into almost famous? I
Speaker 1: wish you would. I wish you would it's fun. I
Speaker 1: literally cannot believe that you ate an apple for somebody
Speaker 1: else to hear, because I think anybody I think it's disgusting.
Speaker 1: I didn't think anybody was hearing it. I never get
Speaker 1: annoyed with him, except for when he's eating a damn apple.
Speaker 1: I thought I beat the system. I was like, I
Speaker 1: have this brilliant idea. I an you always have to say,
Speaker 1: make sure that you take that out on my track.
Speaker 1: Didn't know I'm going to send you a montage of
Speaker 1: you eating an apple. O kill me, do me a
Speaker 1: favorite next time you and Ashal decided to getting an
Speaker 1: argument just uto well here on the podcast, but we
Speaker 1: don't want to hear it on that I'm just doing
Speaker 1: them at least. Oh boy, oh boy. All right, let's
Speaker 1: hear an email here froming out of us. I'm twenty
Speaker 1: six years old. I'm gonna happy to your committed relationship,
Speaker 1: and long story short, I never told my partner about
Speaker 1: my sexual assault that happened to me when I was
Speaker 1: twenty two. It happened, as far as I'm concerned, I'm healed,
Speaker 1: but recently over the holidays, my family brought it up
Speaker 1: over dinner, saying how thankful they were for my partner
Speaker 1: and proud of me for finally opening up after what
Speaker 1: happened to me. They didn't know I've never had this
Speaker 1: conversation with my boyfriend. He was upset that I never
Speaker 1: shared that information with him, and after two years of
Speaker 1: being together, things have been weird since. I guess my
Speaker 1: question is, is this something you have to tell a
Speaker 1: significant other? Am I wrong for thinking it's personal information
Speaker 1: only I can give if I want. Would Jared or
Speaker 1: Dean or Mark or Easton be upset if your partner
Speaker 1: kept that or other traumatic situations of themselves? UM, I'll
Speaker 1: feel this one first. I guess I'm gonna say, uh,
Speaker 1: it's your story, so you should be able to share
Speaker 1: it if and when you ever want to. Um. Kaylin
Speaker 1: obviously has had an experience of sexual assault when she
Speaker 1: was in college. She shared that with Colton on her season,
Speaker 1: and then you know, obviously became a very public thing.
Speaker 1: But there are still times where I feel uncomfortable bringing
Speaker 1: it up, and so it's like, you know, it's not
Speaker 1: my thing to talk about. I'll talk about with her
Speaker 1: if she wants to talk about it. But at the
Speaker 1: end of the day, you're the one that experienced it.
Speaker 1: It's up to you to decide, like I said, if
Speaker 1: and when you share it with anyone. Um, it's funny
Speaker 1: because we listen to a lot of like true crime podcasts,
Speaker 1: and a lot of the true crime podcasts that we
Speaker 1: listened to, and uh involve sexual assault and that kind
Speaker 1: of stuff, and not too long ago, be like a
Speaker 1: month or two ago. I like, I was like talking
Speaker 1: to Kaylin, I was like, sometimes I feel awkward listening
Speaker 1: to these podcasts with all the sexual assaults because, like,
Speaker 1: you know, you've been through a very similar traumatic situation. UM.
Speaker 1: And I think at the end of the day, like
Speaker 1: I would never pry her to talk about it, like
Speaker 1: she wants to talk about it, that's great. Um, I
Speaker 1: don't think that you owe it to anyone to share
Speaker 1: anything about yourself that you don't want to share. So
Speaker 1: that's my take on it. Like he might be upset,
Speaker 1: I think the reason that he would be upset is
Speaker 1: because he's like, well, you should be able to tell
Speaker 1: me everything, like I want to know everything about you,
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. But again, I think your desires about
Speaker 1: sharing your own stories supersedes anything that he could want
Speaker 1: to take from you. To like receive from you. You know.
Speaker 1: That's my take on it. Yeah, I completely agree. I
Speaker 1: mean I couldn't have a word it any better than Dan.
Speaker 1: It's your story to tell. I can understand why he
Speaker 1: wants you to feel comfortable sharing those stories, but it's
Speaker 1: up to you. But you know, that's a traumatic experience
Speaker 1: for anybody, and people grieve in different ways. Um So yeah,
Speaker 1: I I don't think you should feel any type of
Speaker 1: guilt for not sharing it with your significant other, right well,
Speaker 1: and don't don't let him make you feel bad too
Speaker 1: if for not sharing it, like that's like I I
Speaker 1: think that's like borderline manipulation in a way, Like you
Speaker 1: shouldn't feel guilty about not sharing something that you already
Speaker 1: feel bad about, you know. It's like you should just
Speaker 1: do what you need to do to make yourself happy,
Speaker 1: like said, Yeah, like we've been saying, we've kind of
Speaker 1: equit each other. It's like, just share what you're comfortable with. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's my take on it, Mark, Do you have any
Speaker 1: more stage input on that? No? I agree. I think
Speaker 1: it's weird for him to be weird about it because
Speaker 1: he has no idea what it is, how traumatic it was,
Speaker 1: and is for you. I think it's very weird for
Speaker 1: him to make it weird. So I'm hoping he can
Speaker 1: get over that because otherwise it's a red flag. Well,
Speaker 1: my thing is, like I kind of understand, I understand
Speaker 1: why he's upset, and I like I could see myself
Speaker 1: getting upset about something similar, you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: But like I think that I would hope at least
Speaker 1: I could see maybe like once I get some more
Speaker 1: perspective about how silly it was that I was upset.
Speaker 1: But like, I think it's easy to be off the
Speaker 1: bat be like, well, why were you withholding this from me?
Speaker 1: Like why hadn't you told me about this? Yeah, I'm
Speaker 1: sure he wants her to feel comfortable sharing those stories.
Speaker 1: But at the same time, you know, it's a you know,
Speaker 1: it's a traumatic experience, Like it's difficult to talk about.
Speaker 1: So like, if you know it, I think, just let
Speaker 1: her talk about it when she wants to talk about it.
Speaker 1: I don't know, I mean, but like I said, like
Speaker 1: I said, I always want to make a point. I
Speaker 1: can see why I can understand why he's upset, right,
Speaker 1: I think we can all understand why he's upset. But like, yeah,
Speaker 1: like I think we've all said it's it shouldn't linger like,
Speaker 1: he shouldn't continuously be upset once he understands why he
Speaker 1: shouldn't be upset, I think that's all right. Here's Marie Chloe.
Speaker 1: She says, how do you know if a guy's read
Speaker 1: it a date? I've been single for amost seven years now,
Speaker 1: I'm twenty six, but I've dated a few guys during
Speaker 1: this time. They all seem super interested. At first. They
Speaker 1: pursue me, they give me gifts, they organized thoughtful dates
Speaker 1: and pre COVID times. But after a while they suddenly
Speaker 1: changed their minds and say they can't give me what
Speaker 1: I want. How could I know what guys actually interested?
Speaker 1: Ready to date and not lying to themselves. That is
Speaker 1: a great freaking question. Here's my knee jerk reaction to
Speaker 1: why or what you could do is I'm not saying
Speaker 1: this is what she's doing. Um, I think maybe she's
Speaker 1: giving herself up too much too soon, and the longer
Speaker 1: you with like hold, I'm speaking like physically speaking right,
Speaker 1: Like a lot of guys are willing to put the
Speaker 1: effort in to receive what they want physically from the
Speaker 1: person that they're pursuing. And once they get that physical satisfaction,
Speaker 1: then they kind of like like, Okay, cool, I got
Speaker 1: it onto the next conquest kind of thing. That's like
Speaker 1: my interpretation of it, probably because I've been that guy
Speaker 1: before too, so my advice would be too, um, maybe
Speaker 1: like withhold that part of the relationship for a little
Speaker 1: bit to see if you can find a guy that's
Speaker 1: actually willing to stick around for the long come. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I also think if he's playing games of any sort,
Speaker 1: then he's not mature enough to be in a sophisticated relationship.
Speaker 1: I feel like a lot of my friends that are
Speaker 1: girls that are are single, they always talk about well,
Speaker 1: like do I say this? Do I do I ask
Speaker 1: him to hang out? Now? My am I coming off
Speaker 1: too strong? He hasn't texted me. Do I reach out
Speaker 1: to him? Uh? He he called me? What should I
Speaker 1: read into this? And then like it's just like this
Speaker 1: constant back and forth where I feel like you just
Speaker 1: need to be honest, you know, let the other person
Speaker 1: know what your goals are, tell them how you feel,
Speaker 1: and if if they're not ready, then they're not ready.
Speaker 1: But like, I just feel like so many times I've
Speaker 1: heard like my friends that are girls say, well, I
Speaker 1: don't want to let him know how I feel because
Speaker 1: I'm afraid of losing him. You know, I'm afraid that
Speaker 1: he's he's gonna he's gonna be too scared. And it's like, well,
Speaker 1: then he's not ready to be in a relationship, and
Speaker 1: then you'll know, and then you can move on. And
Speaker 1: if when you move on, if he comes back, then
Speaker 1: go from there. But I don't know. I just feel
Speaker 1: like if he's playing games, that's one way to tell
Speaker 1: he's not ready to be in a relationship. I think
Speaker 1: Cloth is not covering us the whole story though here
Speaker 1: I think that she's leaving something out. She's saying, how
Speaker 1: all these guys say they can't give me what I want?
Speaker 1: So I'm wondering what she's what impression she's giving these guys,
Speaker 1: What vibe she's giving these guys that makes them head
Speaker 1: for zy hills, Like does she bring up marriage very quickly,
Speaker 1: or she started making plans for two years from now,
Speaker 1: or that sort of thing that is scaring them. I
Speaker 1: get a certain point when a lot of guys leave
Speaker 1: in a similar fashion, you gotta look a little inward
Speaker 1: and say, what am I doing? That is kind of
Speaker 1: pushing these people away, and maybe it is the rematurity.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Beyond that, I always say the thirty
Speaker 1: three is the magic number for guys. Guys when they
Speaker 1: hit thirty three, they realize it's time to settle down,
Speaker 1: it's time to look for something serious, because they can't
Speaker 1: be kids anymore. Mark, Uh, you're wrong, and I'm gonna
Speaker 1: tell you why. Great, Okay, I've been the guy that
Speaker 1: has used that excuse before. I can't give you what
Speaker 1: you want, and that's what it is, is an excuse.
Speaker 1: I'm I'm finding a way to make to soften the
Speaker 1: blow of telling this person I no longer want to
Speaker 1: date them anymore. And it again in my personal experience.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm speaking from experience, Mark, You're only speaking hypothetically,
Speaker 1: So I think mind care is a little more weight here. Um.
Speaker 1: From that experience, it was never a projection of the
Speaker 1: person that I was saying that too. It was always
Speaker 1: a reflection of me being like, well, I don't want
Speaker 1: anything serious, and so I'm just gonna tell them that
Speaker 1: I can't give them what they want, which I don't
Speaker 1: think anytime I use that as an excuse. I wasn't
Speaker 1: ever like pressured into anything. It was just a matter
Speaker 1: of me like having that was my like outcard every
Speaker 1: single time, you know, so like, and again, you're right,
Speaker 1: we could use some more information. I'll give you that.
Speaker 1: Like we we obviously don't know all the ins and outs.
Speaker 1: But I just don't think that she my gut tells
Speaker 1: me that she's not asking for a lot, and the
Speaker 1: guys that she's talking to are just using that cop
Speaker 1: out excuse to bail could be Yeah, So I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I didn't mean. I didn't mean to like, you know,
Speaker 1: get angry with you or like, Okay, that's what we
Speaker 1: need on this podcast. You know, we need some back
Speaker 1: and forth to give the people the answers they they
Speaker 1: desire right now. Be pretty confident that answer too. I
Speaker 1: I I think that Mark's thirty three rule the age
Speaker 1: of thirty three. I mean, I'm biased when I say this.
Speaker 1: I think it's wrong as well, because I'm not thirty
Speaker 1: three yet. And so what am I saying? Am I
Speaker 1: not ready to settle down? I don't know. I mean,
Speaker 1: that's exactly what we're saying. That's probably pretty true. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it took me saying it out loud to realize how true.
Speaker 1: Before we get going, we do have one more hot
Speaker 1: topic we want to address. Uh. Kanye West is reportedly
Speaker 1: not doing well amid split from Kim Kardashian. Quote from
Speaker 1: a source, he knows what he is losing. This is
Speaker 1: from People dot Com And obviously Kanye and Kim looked
Speaker 1: like they're heading towards a divorce and quote, like I said,
Speaker 1: Kanye is not doing well. He's anxious, very sad. He
Speaker 1: knows that the marriage is over and there's nothing that
Speaker 1: can be done right now. He also knows what he
Speaker 1: is losing with Kim, and unfortunately, the source goes on
Speaker 1: to say that are just not on the same page
Speaker 1: when it comes to their future, their family, and Kim
Speaker 1: is okay with that sort of appears that there is
Speaker 1: very little hope for a future and Kim is the
Speaker 1: one who doesn't want to get back together with Kanye. Dean,
Speaker 1: what are your thoughts about Kim and Kanye being done
Speaker 1: the Power couple? It's over, it's over. Third ball you
Speaker 1: just throw at the end of the podcast. We never
Speaker 1: end the You can thank Becky just for sending it
Speaker 1: in the chat. Kim and Kanye calling it quits. I mean,
Speaker 1: is it wrong to say, I just don't care. I like,
Speaker 1: I really just don't care. Kanye stopped being cooler on
Speaker 1: like two dozen eight after he dropped graduation, and then
Speaker 1: he just kind of like went fully off the rails. Kim, Um, Kim, Actually,
Speaker 1: I think it's a bad rap. I think that she
Speaker 1: is a little bit has a little more depth to
Speaker 1: her than people give her credit for it. But I
Speaker 1: still just I just genuinely do not care. Ever since
Speaker 1: being with Ashley, I've grown so much more respect for
Speaker 1: the Kardashian family and everything than they do because those
Speaker 1: women are impressive. Uh they are just business savvy. They
Speaker 1: know what they're doing. Uh yep. Everything is calculated, but
Speaker 1: it's to further their careers and they do an incredible
Speaker 1: job at it. Uh So Kanye, I think probably yeah,
Speaker 1: is is regretting his I don't know. I don't know
Speaker 1: how it broke up. I don't know who broke up
Speaker 1: with who. It feels like Kim was like, Okay, Kanye,
Speaker 1: I can't deal with it anymore. We gotta move on.
Speaker 1: And maybe Kanye regrets some of his actions that led
Speaker 1: to them getting a divorce, But like, I'm kind of
Speaker 1: on the same page with you. I don't really care honestly,
Speaker 1: Like I I respect the Kardashians a lot, but and
Speaker 1: I you know, I like Kanye's music, but I don't
Speaker 1: like they'll be fine. Kim will have another like forty
Speaker 1: day marriage like she did with what's his face? What
Speaker 1: was that basketball player's name, Tristan Thompson. No, not Tristan Tomas.
Speaker 1: She was. That was Chloe who humphries Chris humph Remember
Speaker 1: she was married to him for like, what was it
Speaker 1: forty days? Babe, seventy two days she was married to
Speaker 1: Chris Humphres before they off off the top of her head.
Speaker 1: Here's my thing about it. It's like, people, someone just
Speaker 1: got divorced today, and Ohio, you know, I don't like
Speaker 1: it sucks. I'm upset that they just got divorced, But like,
Speaker 1: these people are no different than those other people that
Speaker 1: are also getting divorced, And so it's like, how am
Speaker 1: I going to extend more caring towards these two people
Speaker 1: just because they're qute unquote famous rather than the other
Speaker 1: people that are getting divorced. It's like, fair point, I
Speaker 1: care as much about that as I do about you know,
Speaker 1: just divorced in general. As an institution. I think you
Speaker 1: guys know my feelings about marriage. I think it's stupid.
Speaker 1: I know that you're both married, and I know that
Speaker 1: I sound stupid saying that, but that's just how I feel.
Speaker 1: So until you get married one day, and you know what, honestly,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna get married, I'm gonna look myself dead in
Speaker 1: the mirror and I'm gonna say you are so stupid. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you stupid as all right, Well, that'll do it with
Speaker 1: for this week's help, I Suck at Dating episod owe
Speaker 1: a big thank you too, of course. Our guest, the
Speaker 1: CEO and co founder of Jigsaw, Alex Durant. Make sure
Speaker 1: you check out Jigsaw, the new dating app. Uh. It
Speaker 1: is available on Apple Store and Google Play. UH and
Speaker 1: thank you to all the emailers anonymous and of course
Speaker 1: Mary Chloe for emailing us. We love your emails. Please
Speaker 1: keep send anything them in. You can follow us on Instagram.
Speaker 1: Help by suck a Dating and I think that's it.
Speaker 1: Anything else team, Uh, don't forget to email us. We
Speaker 1: love the emails. I suck at dating at iHeart media
Speaker 1: dot com. Keep them coming. Let us know what you
Speaker 1: think about Kim and Kanye. You know, maybe we'll talk
Speaker 1: about it. We probably I hope we don't, but we
Speaker 1: might email us. I suck a Dating at I heard
Speaker 1: media dot com talk more about some dating questions. The
Speaker 1: dating questions we had today. Actually, I think we're pretty
Speaker 1: they were good questions, so keep those up. Um that's
Speaker 1: all I got though. Thank you guys for listening. Be
Speaker 1: sure to tune in next week, where maybe we suck
Speaker 1: just a little bit less. Follow help by Suck at
Speaker 1: Dating on I Heart Radio or wherever you listen to
Speaker 1: podcast