Speaker 1: Miss Spelling with Tory Spelling and iHeartRadio podcast. It's the weekend.
Speaker 1: It's fun. Welcome to another edition of Miss Commentatory, the
Speaker 1: weekend Edition. I'm really into fast food, so I'm gonna
Speaker 1: say it limited time only here for the summer. Here
Speaker 1: I am. I'm here all summer long. But it's the weekend,
Speaker 1: and kicking off my weekend, I'm going to go right
Speaker 1: into something that happened to me this morning. So I
Speaker 1: pulled up to CBS because celebrities they're just like us.
Speaker 1: We were on a toilet paper and that's not going
Speaker 1: to be pretty, not just out of toilet paper like
Speaker 1: we had gone through. I was like, okay, middle of
Speaker 1: the night, hold please, a child comes in, get paper,
Speaker 1: next child. It was like a revolving door of children
Speaker 1: coming in. I'ming to take a shit, so I we said, no,
Speaker 1: they're healthy. So I then moved on to wet wipes,
Speaker 1: and then it was my turn this morning and there
Speaker 1: was nothing left. So I was like, oh God, what
Speaker 1: do I have? I'm not ashamed to say, uh, I
Speaker 1: went for makeup wipes, nut Regina. They're great for your face,
Speaker 1: not for your Enis that mother burned? I'm okay. Now
Speaker 1: though anyway, pulled into the CBS had to go in
Speaker 1: and get toilet paper for the family. As I pull in, uh,
Speaker 1: it was like this guy came out of nowhere right
Speaker 1: in my eyeland. And I was texting my kids saying,
Speaker 1: do you need anything else while I'm here, because they
Speaker 1: are notorious for oh I forgot to tell you we
Speaker 1: needed this, or I forgot this. I wanted this, and
Speaker 1: it's like, oh, you knew I was going. I was
Speaker 1: right there. So I was texting them and a guy
Speaker 1: appeared out of nowhere and weighed me down in my
Speaker 1: eye line, and uh, I waved back, thinking do I
Speaker 1: know this man? You know you look normal, wish And
Speaker 1: so then he comes over to my car window and
Speaker 1: I'm a people pleaser, I'm too nice to be like
Speaker 1: sorry on the phone, can't And he tells me he
Speaker 1: does the signal like roll down your window. So, of course,
Speaker 1: when a stranger comes up to your window and startles
Speaker 1: you and tells you to roll down your window, what
Speaker 1: do you do? Rolled down my window? And he says
Speaker 1: you're that actress and I said, yep, I am, And
Speaker 1: he said, do you want to smoke a joint? And
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my gosh, Ashton, Ashton, am I
Speaker 1: being punked? Like what is this? Sorry? As my kids
Speaker 1: tell me it's walk the plank now that's the new
Speaker 1: version for their generation. So I'm like, uh no, no,
Speaker 1: thank you. I'm actually here to get stuff from my kids.
Speaker 1: I have five kids. I'm a mother. As if mothers
Speaker 1: can't smoke joints, but I'm a mother, like that would
Speaker 1: make them go away? And he goes, I need a
Speaker 1: sugar mama. I'm like, yeah, don't we all? Don't we all?
Speaker 1: I need sugar daddy, and he goes, I can connect
Speaker 1: you with one. I have connections in Dubai. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna lie you guys. For half a second, I blankly
Speaker 1: looked at this man, but in my head I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: that could be an option. So he said, do you
Speaker 1: want to exchange information? And I said no, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I don't feel comfortable. But you know who I am?
Speaker 1: He said I do, and I said, oh, if you
Speaker 1: happen to slide into my DMS, maybe we can figure
Speaker 1: this out. Yeah, do you want to smoke a joint?
Speaker 1: I need a sugar mama, and I have connections. As
Speaker 1: you buy three things, you don't hear on a morning
Speaker 1: when you're just going to get toilet paper for your
Speaker 1: kids to wipe the ast. Anyway, welcome to the weekend edition.
Speaker 1: And I'm now going to go into comments questions. You
Speaker 1: guys had so many badman you're on.
Speaker 2: Why does she look like a bobblehead? I don't get it.
Speaker 2: It's not an insult. She looks nice if you take
Speaker 2: the parts separately, but together it's odd.
Speaker 1: Huh. There are some compliments, backhanded compliments, and some insults
Speaker 1: all in one. There I'm processing.
Speaker 2: By the way, they also say, and her fingers look
Speaker 2: so tiny as well?
Speaker 1: Oh, thank you. I do have tiny fingers. I have
Speaker 1: really nice fingers. My mom was actually a hand model
Speaker 1: little known fact. When she was young. I think in
Speaker 1: her early early twenties, lateeen, she was a hand model.
Speaker 1: And I believe I have her hands. So I do
Speaker 1: have really nice hands. Anyway, that's just a side note.
Speaker 1: When they are tiny. Uh, okay, bobblehead, I like bobbleheads. Wait,
Speaker 1: what are the wait funko pops? What are those things? Oh?
Speaker 1: Can we make a business out of that? Okay? If
Speaker 1: I have a bobblehead, I could be a funko pop.
Speaker 1: I could be oh, you know what, always turning lemons
Speaker 1: into lemonchella would be nice right now. Okay, I've heard
Speaker 1: that before. I've heard lollipop head, which I like lollipops. Oh,
Speaker 1: by the way, if anyone's wondering, I feel like you're
Speaker 1: that person. You're either, for instance, if you like licorice,
Speaker 1: it's very telling about a human if they like black
Speaker 1: licorice or red licorice. In my opine, and I steer
Speaker 1: clear people that eat black licorice, I'm like, oh, feel
Speaker 1: your energy all the way right here. Uh and yeah,
Speaker 1: I feel like you can also tell totally different type
Speaker 1: of thing. Tell a lot about people that suck on
Speaker 1: lollipops or bite them. I'm a bier, just just so
Speaker 1: you know, because I know you're all wondering. I just
Speaker 1: think I'm a very very patient person, but not when
Speaker 1: it comes to lollipops. I just want to get it done.
Speaker 1: I just it tastes good. Oh I love it great, Okay, next,
Speaker 1: get it done. Oh but bobblehead, Yeah, I think I
Speaker 1: see this a lot online. They refer to people that
Speaker 1: they feel like are thin, that their heads are too
Speaker 1: big for their body. Well, I mean, I'm literally the
Speaker 1: way now that I was since I was sixteen, So
Speaker 1: I guess I was maybe it's maybe what is it?
Speaker 1: Born that way?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Born that way?
Speaker 1: Maybeling no revelent, I'm thinking Lady Gaga. Oh, I was
Speaker 1: giving the old school reference this way born like that?
Speaker 1: Remember that perfume Charlie. Anyway, I digress. I don't know.
Speaker 1: I guess my head's too big. I mean, I don't
Speaker 1: know what to do like, but I don't fall over.
Speaker 2: Damn. Okay, here are a few comments. I eat your butt?
Speaker 1: May I look at that? First of all, she said
Speaker 1: I eat your butt, and it says I'd eat your butt.
Speaker 2: I said you did. I heard I'd eat your butt.
Speaker 1: Thank you? I wow? I mean not after, not after
Speaker 1: the incident that occurred with my makeup points wiping my ass.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't want to eat it, but but I'll reconsider
Speaker 1: I kind of proper anema. Thank you? Oh like my cheeks.
Speaker 1: I thought he's talking like my buttole, what does it
Speaker 1: mean you got? Didn't he didn't specify, isn't he? It
Speaker 1: could be a sheet through, it could be.
Speaker 2: A day through. Yeah, that doesn't that isn't specify it either.
Speaker 1: Okay, So two person out there that said they'd like
Speaker 1: to eat my butt, could you please clarify if it's
Speaker 1: both cheeks, left cheek, right cheek or buttle. Thank you.
Speaker 2: There are a lot of people in this world that
Speaker 2: love you and pray for you. But self worship is
Speaker 2: a sin. Movie stars are notorious for thousands of selfies
Speaker 2: and their looks, but vanity is a sin.
Speaker 1: Good you know, I don't have that. I have no
Speaker 1: self confidence at all. Uh vain, No, Vein's not my
Speaker 1: thing thanks to a lot of you out there. I
Speaker 1: think the haters for that. Actually, I'll never be vain.
Speaker 1: I'll never be into myself and never be like, oh
Speaker 1: look at me, look at me because of you. Not
Speaker 1: a positive note, Yeah, there's nothing positive there. But oh.
Speaker 1: Referring to veins, I had the worst veins ever, like
Speaker 1: the tiniest veins you could ever, and I think they're genetic.
Speaker 1: I think I passed them on to my kids. I'd
Speaker 1: rather that than like big bulging veins. I feel like
Speaker 1: that's like a deep thing.
Speaker 2: She has a giant crevice between her tits.
Speaker 1: I do I do? I get a lot of comments
Speaker 1: about my cleavage. Is it cleavage, clavage? What is this?
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding. Uh. So I get comments for years
Speaker 1: about like fix that, Like that thing between your boobs?
Speaker 1: What is it? It's like a gaping hole. So it's
Speaker 1: actually a bone thing. It's called a pectus escavatum. I know,
Speaker 1: I sound really smart right now, right. No, it's a
Speaker 1: thing and it's genetic and it's where your bone one
Speaker 1: side is higher. So I've actually was born with this. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and it comes from someone in my family. I think
Speaker 1: it's my mom's side. Anyway, three two, Two of my
Speaker 1: children have it as well, and they're like thanks Mom.
Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm like, hey, let's look at this. So anyway,
Speaker 1: I could get fifty million boob jobs you guys, and
Speaker 1: it wouldn't take this away. It's just like your bone
Speaker 1: one side is higher and it curbs in. So it
Speaker 1: ain't about the tips. Positive note that I have not
Speaker 1: shared with my kids, but I will when they are
Speaker 1: of age.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: It makes for a hell of a party trick. Let
Speaker 1: me just tell you. I can hold a glass, I
Speaker 1: can hold a bottle. You know. I was the life
Speaker 1: of the party in my twenties, like literally, like you know,
Speaker 1: the guys thought it was so funny, like, oh, she
Speaker 1: can hold a beer bottle between her boobs, and I
Speaker 1: was like beer bottle, bring out the champagne. Uh yeah,
Speaker 1: so I can. I can pretty much hold up anything
Speaker 1: in between my boobs. So it's good. It also comes
Speaker 1: in handy when I'm carrying things because I can just
Speaker 1: put something there and then it's like I have three hands.
Speaker 1: Uh and uh here. I'll actually demonstrate it right now,
Speaker 1: my sugar free red bull. Oh you know what, that's lame.
Speaker 1: I'm a podcast host.
Speaker 2: Let me do this.
Speaker 1: Who needs a stand when you've got esca bars? What
Speaker 1: is it?
Speaker 2: Data?
Speaker 1: Pedro Escobar?
Speaker 2: What is it there? You go?
Speaker 1: I mean besy.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Not many podcast hosts can do that. Take that. Joe Rogan,
Speaker 1: look at that.
Speaker 2: I think he would happily take that.
Speaker 1: Oh you know what I meant. There's your social clip
Speaker 1: and scene.
Speaker 2: Everyone's entiled to a middle life crisis?
Speaker 1: Where are they referring them? Are they trying to say
Speaker 1: I'm having one? I'm having one for years? Are you kidding? Oh? Yeah?
Speaker 1: Is that a real thing that people have midlife crisis?
Speaker 1: I don't think I'm having one. I think I'm had
Speaker 1: one still in it. I don't ever want to come
Speaker 1: out of it because I'm having fun.
Speaker 2: Okay, what is the last thing anybody would think you
Speaker 2: having your refrigerator healthy food? I think they're looking for
Speaker 2: something a litttle more unusual.
Speaker 1: Uh okay, I mean I have every pickle under the sun.
Speaker 1: It's odd or pickle people awesome. They would think that
Speaker 1: would have the refrigerator hmmm, I don't know. I will
Speaker 1: comment on the last thing they would think I have
Speaker 1: in my freezer though, and that would that'd be my placenta.
Speaker 1: Unsure which child. There's two in there, so unless I
Speaker 1: have like the biggest placenta in the world, there's two
Speaker 1: vats in there. And this is normal, you know, because
Speaker 1: there's all that fancy stuff you're supposed to They say
Speaker 1: it's good luck to eat it, or it's good luck
Speaker 1: to bury it, or it's good luck to you know,
Speaker 1: have it sent and made into that powder and they
Speaker 1: put into pills and I'm just too lazy to send
Speaker 1: it out. Everything's throwing up right now in your mouth. Yeah, Laurie,
Speaker 1: it's the thing, right, I mean, yes, yeah, people do.
Speaker 1: I feel like they mat they it's supposed to be good.
Speaker 1: It's something that is good for your body, and they
Speaker 1: take it out of your body, and it's good to
Speaker 1: put it back in your body.
Speaker 2: Probably not stored in your freezer for too long though,
Speaker 2: how long has it been in there.
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think which one's in there. I'll have
Speaker 1: to check after this podcast.
Speaker 2: I mean your your youngest is seven.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm really sorry to my best friend Jess because
Speaker 1: his is still in her freezer. And I am let's
Speaker 1: you know, you want to talk good friends. She came
Speaker 1: to the hospital obviously the day Bo was born. She's
Speaker 1: come to the hospital readbirth, so of you, so of you.
Speaker 2: Except I didn't pick the placenta home with me.
Speaker 1: Well, because I would never ask you to take the
Speaker 1: placenta home with you because you would be grossed out,
Speaker 1: like you're grossed out right now. But I said, Jess,
Speaker 1: because I had a c section and we had had
Speaker 1: complications and bo, I think Bo did bowhead John disne
Speaker 1: he had something. We had to stay in the hospital
Speaker 1: for a bit, And I said, Jess, can you take
Speaker 1: the placenta home because they've given it to me and
Speaker 1: I don't know what to do with it. So she,
Speaker 1: like a proper best friend, does did take it?
Speaker 2: Home.
Speaker 1: I feel like she has asked me a few times
Speaker 1: over the last seven years to take that back, and
Speaker 1: I say, yep, next time I'm there, and then I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't take it back, but I'm going to. I'm
Speaker 1: going to one day. So the ones in my freezer
Speaker 1: currently we move a lot. So unfortunately a couple got lost.
Speaker 1: But imagine that you guys like they got lost or
Speaker 1: left at some rental someone like opens up a freezer
Speaker 1: tory spelling PLACEA Wow, that'd be interesting. You put on eBay.
Speaker 1: You'd have to like dry ice it, though to ship,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Shipping might be wild, so maybe someone
Speaker 1: wouldn't buy it. What would they pay for that? Any who? Uh?
Speaker 1: One time at our camp and how crazy as a
Speaker 1: camp my ex I was on board. Uh. We cooked
Speaker 1: the placenta, oh my god. Uh huh and eat it?
Speaker 2: How very primitive of you?
Speaker 1: People do it all the time. And Deans an amazing chef.
Speaker 1: So I mean it was like.
Speaker 2: Little truffle oil, dut, little salt and pepper.
Speaker 1: Yes, oh lemon, oh good, I'm gonna give you the
Speaker 1: crpant one. You're gonna cook this one for me? Perfect?
Speaker 1: Our next best he did tonight. Yep, no, no, no,
Speaker 1: we he did. He cooked it and season did and
Speaker 1: it was it was actually really good. And it's like,
Speaker 1: you know, it's like cooking liver, and I hate liver,
Speaker 1: so that's a bad reference. I like chocolate liver, cook liver. Hey,
Speaker 1: my mom taught me when I was young, try take
Speaker 1: one bite, try everything once. If you don't like it,
Speaker 1: you don't eat it again. And I believe in that philosophy.
Speaker 1: I have carried it through with my kids. When we're
Speaker 1: at a restaurant and something comes like ew, what is
Speaker 1: that that doesn't look good? I say, take one paint.
Speaker 1: If you don't like it, don't eat it. You can
Speaker 1: spit it out. Just take it and you might enjoy
Speaker 1: the taste and don't look at how it looks and
Speaker 1: judge it by that, like don't judge a book by
Speaker 1: its cover, or don't judge me by me. You know,
Speaker 1: same philosophy. Because uh, that goes back to when we
Speaker 1: were in pairs when I was eleven and my mom said, oh,
Speaker 1: do you want to try this? And I said what
Speaker 1: is it? And she said, sweetbreads.
Speaker 2: Take a bite.
Speaker 1: If you don't like it, you don't have to eat it.
Speaker 1: Same thing. Yeah, So technically she did tell me what
Speaker 1: it was, but didn't clarify what it was. So I
Speaker 1: took a bite. I actually liked it, and that's when
Speaker 1: she told me it was what are sweetbreads?
Speaker 2: Brain?
Speaker 1: It's like the ballamous gland. Look at the big brain
Speaker 1: on tea. Not just a bobblehead with gaping cleavage.
Speaker 2: She has a big brain filling that bobblehead.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, Oh my god, it's so true. That's me.
Speaker 2: Doesn't she have about a dozen kids? Oh?
Speaker 1: Man? Yeah, if I had started younger, I'm telling you
Speaker 1: I would, I'd have a whole what is it sports team?
Speaker 1: Hockey team, I don't know, I hate sports. I would
Speaker 1: have an all uh litter. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Stop with verbal masturbation.
Speaker 1: I've never heard that. Is that a thing?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: You guys, what that person thinks I talk too much?
Speaker 1: I'm doing a podcast? Aren't? Is not? Who else would
Speaker 1: talk if I didn't talk? A verbal masturbation?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 1: Is that like when someone like over talks and like
Speaker 1: and they're talking to you and you're like, oh, they
Speaker 1: just eer rate me. So me alone? Just verbal masturbation
Speaker 1: because it's oh, I'm alone doing it all. I like
Speaker 1: that one sorry, I won't stop, can't stop. So wait, wait, wait,
Speaker 1: I have a question. So, if you're likening it to
Speaker 1: masturbation and it's verbal, what would be the verbal version
Speaker 1: of squirting. I'm asking for a friend, I'm asking for
Speaker 1: a ruthan ruthan.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd like to know.
Speaker 1: Wait, I feel like the verbal masturbation form of squirting
Speaker 1: would be I mean, that's vomiting, but that's gross. That's
Speaker 1: a whole different kink.
Speaker 2: Wait.
Speaker 1: Uh, spitting, spinning, spinning, ooh, like drooling. So, oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: I'm verbally masturbating. Oh I'm drooling all over myself, salivating, spelling,
Speaker 1: that's me salivating.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's good.
Speaker 1: I can do better. I'll think of it later.
Speaker 2: What is going on with her voice? She must chain smoke?
Speaker 2: Fr FR?
Speaker 1: What is fr FR? I don't smoke, you, guys, I've
Speaker 1: never smoked.
Speaker 2: I mean maybe time.
Speaker 1: I'm a girl that like occasionally, like since I was
Speaker 1: like in my twenties, Like if everyone's out drinking and
Speaker 1: like having a cigarette, I'll have like a cigarette, but no,
Speaker 1: not a smoker.
Speaker 2: Uh.
Speaker 1: Why, oh my gosh, you guys, my voice because it's changed.
Speaker 2: Mh.
Speaker 1: So my friend said that my laugh changed. Every time
Speaker 1: I was pregnant, I would get the cackle. I'm not kidding,
Speaker 1: Uncle Scotty. May he rest in peace. He had said
Speaker 1: he knew one time when I was pregnant and I
Speaker 1: hadn't told him yet. I was going to tell him
Speaker 1: that night at dinner, and he said something because he
Speaker 1: always made me laugh, that made me laugh, and I
Speaker 1: busted out laughing, and he said, that's the pregnancy cackle. MoMA,
Speaker 1: are you pregnant? And I was like, like, barely. I
Speaker 1: had just taken the test, like peak test, and I
Speaker 1: was like, yes, oh yeah, so yeah. My friends would
Speaker 1: always say I went from my like giggle to my
Speaker 1: cackle when I was pregnant, maybe because I couldn't breathe
Speaker 1: for something, because it starts to affect. It would get
Speaker 1: worse as the pregnancy went on. And now it just
Speaker 1: never went away. It literally never went away. And now
Speaker 1: I guess I don't know. Yeah, called age, I think,
Speaker 1: but thought, you do make your voice go way up
Speaker 1: when you are asking for help in a store, or
Speaker 1: I know, I do get like a donna little voice
Speaker 1: when I'm nervous and get anxiety, like and yeah, so
Speaker 1: for instance, at a restaurant, I get nervous to order.
Speaker 1: I'm getting better. I'm getting better now that you know,
Speaker 1: I am not married anymore, and I have to order
Speaker 1: for myself and my children. But I'm teaching them to order,
Speaker 1: actually younger, so that I they don't it doesn't happen
Speaker 1: what happened to me, which you know, I grew up
Speaker 1: like scared talk on the phone and like scared order
Speaker 1: for myself. But uh yeah, when I order, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'll be like, hey, so whatever, and we'll be like
Speaker 1: Ruth Anne and I are laughing, and they're like, maybe
Speaker 1: take your order. I'm like, yes, that's the cheeseburger. I
Speaker 1: know it says cheeseburger, but I don't feel entitled to
Speaker 1: have cheese. Please please may I? Yeah, that's the voice.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 1: And then as soon as they thank you, thank you,
Speaker 1: thank you so much, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, like for ordering,
Speaker 1: and then they walk away and they walk away, and
Speaker 1: I'm like, anyway, what were we talking about. It's true,
Speaker 1: so true, it's so true, hilarious.
Speaker 2: They are handing podcasts out like coke in the eighties
Speaker 2: at a rock and roll concert.
Speaker 1: Wait, coke like coke or coke zero or diet coke, OH,
Speaker 1: cocaine HM cool well, glad to be your new drug. Here,
Speaker 1: I am