WEBVTT - BARBARA & TEEBA MARLOWE : "A Brave Face" 0:00:01.560 --> 0:00:10.600 Delia, Hello, my friends, welcome back, Welcome to today's podcast 0:00:10.720 --> 0:00:16.239 episode of Love Someone with Delilah. I am so delighted 0:00:16.640 --> 0:00:18.760 to be able to have this extra bit of time 0:00:18.800 --> 0:00:23.319 with you. I love taking calls, but I would like 0:00:23.520 --> 0:00:26.840 to get a little deeper, to go a little deeper, 0:00:26.880 --> 0:00:32.000 to talk a little bit more about specific things or 0:00:32.040 --> 0:00:36.000 with specific people. And that is why we have our 0:00:36.080 --> 0:00:40.720 podcast series Love Someone. The whole purpose, my whole prayer, 0:00:40.800 --> 0:00:45.519 my whole reason for doing this podcast was that I 0:00:45.640 --> 0:00:50.720 wanted to talk to people who are changing this world 0:00:51.320 --> 0:00:54.760 for good. Some of those people are very famous. If 0:00:54.800 --> 0:00:57.080 you heard some of my last few podcasts, I talked 0:00:57.080 --> 0:01:02.640 to Michael Boublay, to Tear Tebow, to Josh Grobin. But 0:01:02.760 --> 0:01:06.520 some people, some of the podcast are just ordinary people 0:01:07.200 --> 0:01:12.000 who did extraordinary things. And that, my friend, is what 0:01:12.080 --> 0:01:18.119 today's podcast is all about. This conversation is sponsored by 0:01:18.120 --> 0:01:22.080 the Home Depot. They're so good at taking care of 0:01:22.120 --> 0:01:25.560 you when you need their help the most, Like when 0:01:25.560 --> 0:01:29.160 you step into your kitchen intent on baking with your oven, 0:01:29.840 --> 0:01:32.839 only to learn that the oven has decided it's baked 0:01:32.880 --> 0:01:37.319 its last pie and has permanently retired. Don't worry, the 0:01:37.360 --> 0:01:40.120 Home Depot has a large selection, and they're quick to 0:01:40.160 --> 0:01:44.080 provide free shipping. They open early and stay open late, 0:01:44.520 --> 0:01:46.840 and they know you may well spend a lot of 0:01:46.920 --> 0:01:50.600 time making your decisions, and they're perfectly fine with that. 0:01:51.320 --> 0:01:54.960 My friends at the Home Depot are the best. When 0:01:55.000 --> 0:01:57.880 you need a new appliance in your kitchen or anywhere 0:01:57.880 --> 0:02:01.640 in your home, think of the Home Deals, Pope. Have 0:02:01.720 --> 0:02:07.600 you ever felt a whisper in your heart, a voice, 0:02:08.480 --> 0:02:13.720 a feeling urging you to do something. Maybe you became 0:02:13.760 --> 0:02:18.880 overwhelmed by all the what ifs, the avalanche of details 0:02:18.960 --> 0:02:23.480 your brain tumbled at you. Today, I have the privilege 0:02:23.480 --> 0:02:29.200 of talking with two incredibly brave, incredibly beautiful, loving women, 0:02:30.000 --> 0:02:36.480 Barbara Marlowe and Tiba Farratt Marlowe. They are the authors 0:02:36.720 --> 0:02:40.000 of the book A Brave Face, which was released on 0:02:40.040 --> 0:02:46.160 March twelfth. Their story, as you're about to hear, is 0:02:46.200 --> 0:02:52.760 a fabulous testimony to my assertion that changing the world 0:02:53.040 --> 0:02:57.280 is a job best done one heart at a time. 0:02:58.720 --> 0:03:04.120 This story, Barbara's and Tiva's story, all started with a 0:03:04.240 --> 0:03:11.120 grainy photograph in a newspaper and a whisper in Barbara's heart. 0:03:11.960 --> 0:03:14.520 Tell me the name of the book and Barbara, what 0:03:15.160 --> 0:03:18.000 was birthed in you to write the book. 0:03:18.840 --> 0:03:21.400 Well, the name of the book is called A Brave Face, 0:03:21.880 --> 0:03:24.440 and it is being published by HarperCollins. 0:03:24.840 --> 0:03:28.280 Love the title Love the picture on the front, Tiba, 0:03:28.440 --> 0:03:28.800 thank you. 0:03:29.200 --> 0:03:33.200 And the impetus for the book actually started many, many 0:03:33.280 --> 0:03:36.200 years ago. When Tiva first got here. There was an 0:03:36.280 --> 0:03:40.200 article in People magazine in their Heroes among Us section, 0:03:41.240 --> 0:03:44.280 and at the time, the editor said, you know, this 0:03:44.320 --> 0:03:47.880 would make a great book. And so she put together 0:03:47.920 --> 0:03:51.240 a book proposal, and she submitted it to an agent 0:03:51.280 --> 0:03:53.360 in New York who also said, hey, this is a 0:03:53.400 --> 0:03:57.000 great book, but she's only been here one year. What's 0:03:57.040 --> 0:03:59.120 the rest of the story. There was no middle, and 0:03:59.240 --> 0:04:03.000 there was definitely and so I kind of tabled it 0:04:03.040 --> 0:04:06.640 and I put everything away. And over the course of 0:04:06.680 --> 0:04:11.600 all these years now, repeatedly me and Tiba would always 0:04:11.640 --> 0:04:13.680 get people saying, Oh, this needs to be a book, 0:04:13.720 --> 0:04:15.280 this needs to be a movie. You need to write 0:04:15.280 --> 0:04:16.800 a book. And this went on and on and on, 0:04:16.839 --> 0:04:19.280 and I didn't think much about it until one day 0:04:19.279 --> 0:04:21.400 I was cleaning out some papers and I came across 0:04:21.440 --> 0:04:24.920 that original book proposal. So I pulled it out and 0:04:24.960 --> 0:04:26.839 I thought, you know, maybe I ought to revisit this 0:04:26.880 --> 0:04:29.159 because I keep hearing it over and over and over again. 0:04:29.839 --> 0:04:36.000 So I contacted the original agent and he said that 0:04:36.040 --> 0:04:38.680 he would still be interested in the story. And I 0:04:38.720 --> 0:04:42.760 had also contacted a local friend, Jennifer Kern, who is 0:04:42.800 --> 0:04:44.920 a writer and who really did a great story about 0:04:44.960 --> 0:04:47.640 Tiva and I many years ago, and spoke to her 0:04:47.880 --> 0:04:51.000 about helping to put this book proposal together. And so 0:04:51.120 --> 0:04:54.560 she and I we did it, submitted it, and the 0:04:54.600 --> 0:04:57.719 agent in New York loved it because now our story 0:04:58.160 --> 0:05:01.360 actually comes full circle, and so there's a lot of 0:05:01.760 --> 0:05:06.080 emotional parts in it. And the next thing, you. 0:05:06.040 --> 0:05:11.279 Know, here we are, here you are So Barbara, I 0:05:11.400 --> 0:05:16.080 go back to how it all began and just paint 0:05:16.120 --> 0:05:18.400 the picture for me. When you and your hobby were 0:05:18.440 --> 0:05:20.560 sitting were you in your living room when you saw 0:05:20.600 --> 0:05:21.520 the TV coverage? 0:05:22.480 --> 0:05:25.279 Actually it was a newspaper article. My husband was going 0:05:25.320 --> 0:05:27.919 out to walk our dog and I picked up the 0:05:27.960 --> 0:05:30.680 newspaper and there on the cover was an article about 0:05:30.760 --> 0:05:34.200 children in Iraq that needed multiple surgeries and they couldn't 0:05:34.240 --> 0:05:36.400 get them. And keep in mind, this was in two 0:05:36.440 --> 0:05:40.080 thousand and six. July sixteenth, two thousand and six, specifically, 0:05:40.960 --> 0:05:42.840 and I was reading the article, and of course there 0:05:42.920 --> 0:05:47.000 was photographs, and I was completely captivated by this one 0:05:47.040 --> 0:05:49.680 little girl who was four years old at that time, 0:05:49.760 --> 0:05:52.760 sitting on her father's lap. And the article said that 0:05:53.120 --> 0:05:56.239 this little girl named Tiba, when she was nineteen months old, 0:05:57.240 --> 0:06:01.080 they had struck an ied bomb and it had severely 0:06:01.120 --> 0:06:05.200 burned her face, her head, and her hands and killed 0:06:05.200 --> 0:06:08.839 her little precious three year old brother. And her eyes 0:06:08.880 --> 0:06:12.040 were so captivating to me, and I couldn't get them 0:06:12.040 --> 0:06:14.440 out of my head, and so I cut the article 0:06:14.480 --> 0:06:18.760 out and put it in my pocket, and I says, 0:06:18.800 --> 0:06:21.000 you know what, I have to try to do something 0:06:21.040 --> 0:06:23.880 to help her. And so the next day I emailed 0:06:23.880 --> 0:06:26.880 the correspondent and Bagdad and asked him. 0:06:26.880 --> 0:06:30.640 I I just want to interject here and ask where 0:06:30.680 --> 0:06:35.800 were you, Barbara in life at that time? You were married, married. 0:06:37.560 --> 0:06:40.520 My husband has three grown children, so they were off 0:06:40.600 --> 0:06:43.280 and getting married and doing their own thing. They were 0:06:43.279 --> 0:06:45.240 starting their lives, and it was just my husband and 0:06:45.279 --> 0:06:47.840 I and I had no previous children of my own. 0:06:48.200 --> 0:06:51.640 Okay, So July sixteenth, two thousand and six, you see 0:06:51.640 --> 0:06:54.240 a little picture. How big was this photograph? 0:06:55.040 --> 0:06:57.280 Oh? The picture of her was maybe I don't know, 0:06:57.600 --> 0:06:58.880 three by three at the. 0:06:58.880 --> 0:07:03.599 Most, okay, and something connected your eyes saw that picture 0:07:03.640 --> 0:07:08.159 of her eyes, and something connected, and you decided that 0:07:08.240 --> 0:07:10.720 God was calling you to make a difference. 0:07:11.680 --> 0:07:14.640 Oh, I knew it. I knew it momentarily. And this 0:07:14.680 --> 0:07:17.760 is going to sound very weird, and sometimes you read 0:07:17.760 --> 0:07:21.520 about this happening to other people, but I really genuinely 0:07:21.520 --> 0:07:24.360 felt like the room had blacked out and all I 0:07:24.400 --> 0:07:28.160 could focus on was Tiba and those eyes. And I 0:07:28.240 --> 0:07:30.640 really felt that we had a connection in that picture. 0:07:31.600 --> 0:07:34.520 And at that moment, it was just one of those 0:07:34.560 --> 0:07:38.040 heart moments. You know, you just know this is what 0:07:38.080 --> 0:07:40.720 you're meant to do. And I never looked back, and 0:07:40.760 --> 0:07:43.640 I never even thought about what it was going to 0:07:43.680 --> 0:07:46.880 take to make it happen. But we just kept going 0:07:46.920 --> 0:07:48.120 forward and never stopped. 0:07:49.440 --> 0:07:54.080 So you see the picture, little girl burned over, you know, 0:07:54.320 --> 0:07:58.680 most of her body. What was the first step that 0:07:58.760 --> 0:08:01.000 you took? Because she was an eye? I mean, it's 0:08:01.040 --> 0:08:02.960 not like you can just pack your bags and go 0:08:03.000 --> 0:08:06.000 on vacation to Iraq and look up this little girl 0:08:06.000 --> 0:08:08.400 and say, you know, your fairy god aunt is here 0:08:08.560 --> 0:08:09.440 and I want to help you. 0:08:09.840 --> 0:08:13.240 Right Well, I will say one thing. Though her body 0:08:13.320 --> 0:08:15.240 was fine, it was just her face, her head in 0:08:15.280 --> 0:08:20.920 her hands. And I contacted I emailed the correspondent bagdad, 0:08:20.960 --> 0:08:23.800 and I said, you know, if I can get her 0:08:23.800 --> 0:08:25.920 the help she needs, would you talk to the family 0:08:26.280 --> 0:08:30.640 Because in the article itself, it talked about her wanting 0:08:30.640 --> 0:08:32.920 to have a wig before she went to school, and 0:08:33.000 --> 0:08:35.120 her dad did say in the article he wanted to 0:08:35.120 --> 0:08:39.679 get her other help. And so the correspondent, of course, 0:08:39.840 --> 0:08:43.839 was surprised that I had even emailed him about it, 0:08:44.360 --> 0:08:46.840 because he had told Tiva's father when they did the 0:08:46.880 --> 0:08:51.000 original interview, don't expect anything, anything short of a miracle, 0:08:51.360 --> 0:08:54.560 to have anybody try to reach out, And so he 0:08:54.679 --> 0:08:57.120 was very surprised when I called, And I probably think 0:08:57.160 --> 0:08:59.600 he thought, well, maybe I was just, you know, trying 0:08:59.600 --> 0:09:03.440 to do something but wouldn't follow through. But I did, 0:09:03.720 --> 0:09:06.040 and I contacted all the people at Rainbow Babies and 0:09:06.080 --> 0:09:09.840 Children's Hospital in Cleveland, and they had agreed that they 0:09:09.880 --> 0:09:12.360 would evaluate her. They couldn't commit to anything because they 0:09:12.400 --> 0:09:14.120 needed to see her. They were just looking at this 0:09:14.200 --> 0:09:15.880 photograph that I presented to them. 0:09:16.440 --> 0:09:21.640 Girlfriend, you are bold. I love your faith, I love 0:09:21.679 --> 0:09:22.760 your boldness. Gone. 0:09:23.160 --> 0:09:26.000 Yeah, I was very bold. I was bold, and I 0:09:26.040 --> 0:09:29.520 don't want to say demanding, but I was so self 0:09:29.559 --> 0:09:31.640 assured that this was going to happen. I just had 0:09:31.640 --> 0:09:34.280 no doubt in my mind and in my heart specifically. 0:09:34.920 --> 0:09:37.400 And there were little signs of things that came along 0:09:37.520 --> 0:09:39.680 the way, and if I may share a couple of 0:09:39.679 --> 0:09:42.640 those with you as we tell our story, but one 0:09:42.679 --> 0:09:44.960 of them was about six months in trying to get 0:09:44.960 --> 0:09:47.680 her here. It was so difficult trying to navigate through 0:09:47.679 --> 0:09:51.520 this political quagmire, and I kept thinking that nobody would 0:09:51.559 --> 0:09:54.000 say no to me, because who's going to resist helping her? 0:09:54.000 --> 0:09:58.559 Look at this little face, right, And so then I 0:09:58.640 --> 0:10:01.120 bought six months into it, still in my driveway, and 0:10:01.160 --> 0:10:03.720 I am screaming at God and I'm blaming him for everything, 0:10:03.720 --> 0:10:05.640 and why aren't you helping me? And what good are you? 0:10:05.679 --> 0:10:09.439 And I'm just ranting like a crazy person. And then 0:10:09.480 --> 0:10:11.000 as I turned to come back in the house, I 0:10:11.040 --> 0:10:13.160 looked down and at my feet in the driveway is 0:10:13.160 --> 0:10:16.920 a golf ball marker and I picked it up and Delilah, 0:10:16.960 --> 0:10:19.040 when I turned it over, it said God loves you. 0:10:20.360 --> 0:10:23.760 And at that moment I knew, I mean, you just know, 0:10:24.120 --> 0:10:26.880 the hair stood up on my neck and on my arms, 0:10:26.880 --> 0:10:31.160 and I started to cry, and I just knew everything 0:10:31.240 --> 0:10:34.760 was going to be okay. And shortly thereafter there were 0:10:34.800 --> 0:10:37.439 certain pieces of the puzzle that fell into place, and 0:10:37.520 --> 0:10:40.439 they're all explained in the book. And the next thing, 0:10:40.520 --> 0:10:43.400 you know, after a few more months and putting a 0:10:43.400 --> 0:10:46.040 few more puzzle pieces together, I get this phone call 0:10:46.840 --> 0:10:49.480 and they say, well, when do you want her? And 0:10:50.040 --> 0:10:52.920 I just dropped to my knees and I just sobbed. 0:10:53.760 --> 0:10:57.160 Oh my gosh, So did you keep that little that 0:10:57.200 --> 0:10:58.760 little golf ball marker? 0:10:58.920 --> 0:11:02.600 And oh yeah, it's a prized possession. But the odd 0:11:02.640 --> 0:11:05.240 thing is that in my head when they says, well 0:11:05.240 --> 0:11:07.240 when do you want her, I'm like ticking off dates 0:11:07.240 --> 0:11:09.480 in my head and I'm thinking, Okay, we can't do 0:11:09.520 --> 0:11:11.040 the fourth of July because I don't want her to 0:11:11.040 --> 0:11:14.200 come here and hear fireworks and be afraid and bombs 0:11:14.240 --> 0:11:17.200 and you all just sorts of loud noises. So we 0:11:17.240 --> 0:11:19.640 picked a date, and I didn't think anything about the 0:11:19.720 --> 0:11:22.840 date that we picked until probably about two years later, 0:11:22.920 --> 0:11:25.640 when it finally hit me that the day we picked 0:11:25.720 --> 0:11:28.960 was July sixteenth, two thousand and seven, and she arrived 0:11:29.040 --> 0:11:31.600 exactly one year to the day that I read about her. 0:11:32.440 --> 0:11:35.560 Love that love that love that So this little girl 0:11:35.600 --> 0:11:39.800 shows up. She's five now, and what hospital had agreed 0:11:39.840 --> 0:11:41.000 to see her. 0:11:41.800 --> 0:11:45.400 It's University Hospitals, Rainbow Babies and Children's Hospital. 0:11:46.320 --> 0:11:50.200 So, Tiba, do you remember those first days when you 0:11:50.240 --> 0:11:51.959 first came to the US for Iraq. 0:11:52.880 --> 0:11:57.440 Yeah, I do remember it. I remember kind of looking 0:11:57.520 --> 0:12:01.720 around thinking, oh, my goodness, this is crazy. My grandma, 0:12:01.840 --> 0:12:04.560 my dad's mother, came with me. She accompanied me on 0:12:04.640 --> 0:12:08.480 the trip because she didn't want my mother to go 0:12:08.840 --> 0:12:10.920 since she was young and she didn't want her to 0:12:10.960 --> 0:12:14.240 travel alone with me. So my grandmother came with me, 0:12:14.600 --> 0:12:18.360 and we had spent a few like six months in 0:12:18.480 --> 0:12:23.559 Jordan prior to coming to America. Then we landed in Cleveland, Ohio, 0:12:23.640 --> 0:12:26.280 and stayed with the Marlow's, who I now call mom 0:12:26.320 --> 0:12:29.040 and Dad. We stayed with them for a few nights 0:12:29.160 --> 0:12:33.560 and then slept at Ronald McDonald house for a while, 0:12:33.600 --> 0:12:35.720 and then I went back to the Marlowe's house. 0:12:36.280 --> 0:12:38.520 Barbara, did you guys know at that time how long 0:12:38.600 --> 0:12:39.720 the process would be? 0:12:40.520 --> 0:12:44.520 Oh, not at all. I believe that if you are 0:12:44.600 --> 0:12:48.200 confronted with a situation, sometimes if you look at the 0:12:48.200 --> 0:12:50.640 big picture and the magnitude of it, you won't take 0:12:50.679 --> 0:12:51.400 that first step. 0:12:52.480 --> 0:12:57.559 I'm so inspired talking with Barbara and her daughter Tiba today. 0:12:57.760 --> 0:13:02.560 Tiba has grown from a little girl so badly wounded, 0:13:02.679 --> 0:13:07.080 so badly burned, who needed help, to a young woman 0:13:07.760 --> 0:13:12.959 who helps others. And the bond between this mother and daughter, 0:13:13.120 --> 0:13:18.760 the love between these women and Tiba's family, her biological 0:13:18.840 --> 0:13:25.320 family has grown to include so many people, communities, worlds apart. 0:13:25.760 --> 0:13:30.040 Thank you for joining me today, ladies and sharing your 0:13:30.360 --> 0:13:31.480 beautiful story. 0:13:32.679 --> 0:13:37.240 Yeah. When I was like five or just getting ready 0:13:37.280 --> 0:13:39.720 to make the journey, I was told I was going 0:13:39.760 --> 0:13:43.200 to America for just a few short months because that's 0:13:43.240 --> 0:13:47.319 what my parents figured the surgeries would take. And when 0:13:47.400 --> 0:13:51.400 we got here, doctor Gosain set us straight right away, saying, 0:13:51.440 --> 0:13:54.920 oh no, this is going to take several several procedures 0:13:55.000 --> 0:13:59.760 and many years for recovery as well. So, yeah, none 0:13:59.760 --> 0:14:02.520 of us are expecting it to be that long of 0:14:02.520 --> 0:14:03.239 a process. 0:14:03.920 --> 0:14:08.240 So going from that environment and that atmosphere and that 0:14:08.320 --> 0:14:11.200 culture and the food and your family and your mom 0:14:11.240 --> 0:14:14.920 and dad to coming home to the Marlow's, what was 0:14:14.960 --> 0:14:17.840 that like for your little five year old heart. 0:14:18.600 --> 0:14:21.760 Well, I definitely didn't understand the circumstances I was in. 0:14:22.480 --> 0:14:25.800 I was kind of just, you know, doing whatever my 0:14:25.840 --> 0:14:27.960 grandma told me, so I would just hold her hand 0:14:28.000 --> 0:14:31.400 and we'd walk through everything. But I remember walking in 0:14:31.480 --> 0:14:35.640 the Marlow household and just my jaw dropped because I 0:14:35.680 --> 0:14:38.600 was like, what is this marble floor? This is crazy? 0:14:38.680 --> 0:14:41.760 And I remember the refrigerators and I know I was 0:14:41.840 --> 0:14:44.160 so scared to flush the toilets, and it was just 0:14:44.200 --> 0:14:49.160 a completely new world for me. And being five years old, 0:14:49.320 --> 0:14:51.800 it wasn't very hard for me to assimilate into that 0:14:51.840 --> 0:14:55.280 lifestyle because you know, it was interesting and fun and 0:14:55.360 --> 0:14:58.040 I was I was ready to participate in that. But 0:14:58.160 --> 0:15:00.480 for someone like my grandma, who was my much older 0:15:00.480 --> 0:15:03.080 and way more set in her ways, it was evident 0:15:03.360 --> 0:15:05.720 that she was just like uncomfortable the whole time because 0:15:05.720 --> 0:15:08.720 it was nothing like she was used to. And you 0:15:08.760 --> 0:15:11.600 can't even blame her for that, because she knew what 0:15:11.680 --> 0:15:14.160 she knew, and when it was time for her to 0:15:14.240 --> 0:15:17.400 go back, it was time, you know, because she was 0:15:17.480 --> 0:15:18.840 just so out of place here. 0:15:19.320 --> 0:15:22.760 And that had to be so stressful. To want the 0:15:22.800 --> 0:15:25.920 best for you and want to be your guide and 0:15:26.000 --> 0:15:29.920 help you navigate that and yet being completely out of 0:15:29.960 --> 0:15:33.040 your element, like a fish out of water, not being 0:15:33.080 --> 0:15:36.040 able to breathe, but wanting the best for. 0:15:36.080 --> 0:15:39.520 You, and not speaking and not speaking the language either. 0:15:40.040 --> 0:15:43.760 So, Barbara, how long into the relationship with Tiba and 0:15:44.120 --> 0:15:47.360 her grandma do you think she developed a us enough 0:15:47.440 --> 0:15:50.480 trust in you and your husband that she was able 0:15:50.840 --> 0:15:53.280 to let go of Tiba's hand and put her hand 0:15:53.360 --> 0:15:55.880 in yours, Like, was there a moment, was there a 0:15:55.920 --> 0:16:01.840 defining situation or something that happened where Grandma's soul was 0:16:01.880 --> 0:16:04.520 at peace knowing that she could trust you. 0:16:05.720 --> 0:16:08.240 I do recall that she was having a conversation with 0:16:08.320 --> 0:16:12.320 her son, Tiba's father, and the situation in Iraq was 0:16:12.360 --> 0:16:15.400 pretty dire, and she was very afraid of what was 0:16:15.440 --> 0:16:17.640 going on with her family, and in particular, she was 0:16:17.640 --> 0:16:20.320 trying to reach one son and she could never reach him. 0:16:21.200 --> 0:16:24.440 And her father said, at that point, you know, leave 0:16:24.480 --> 0:16:27.440 Tiba and come home. She's safe, she's with the Marlow's, 0:16:27.440 --> 0:16:30.480 it's all good. And maybe it was at that point. 0:16:30.960 --> 0:16:34.760 So, Barbara, how long was Tiba in your household before 0:16:34.920 --> 0:16:37.960 you finally realized that she's going to be here for 0:16:38.000 --> 0:16:38.480 a while. 0:16:39.560 --> 0:16:42.080 It was actually after that first doctor's appointment when he 0:16:42.200 --> 0:16:44.080 said years and years and years. And that's when her 0:16:44.080 --> 0:16:46.360 grandmother had that look of shock on her face and said, 0:16:46.400 --> 0:16:51.080 I can't stay here. I have to go. But the 0:16:51.160 --> 0:16:56.000 minute Tiba was in our home, our home changed. It 0:16:56.080 --> 0:16:58.520 was like a home before it was just my husband 0:16:58.520 --> 0:17:00.880 and I and we came and did and whatever, and 0:17:01.360 --> 0:17:05.399 it was different. And Taba brought something into my life 0:17:05.400 --> 0:17:07.600 in particular that I never had before, and that was 0:17:07.600 --> 0:17:11.680 the opportunity to mother her and to take care of her. 0:17:11.800 --> 0:17:14.000 And I just, I mean, I fell in love with 0:17:14.000 --> 0:17:16.520 that photograph before I ever met her. I fell in 0:17:16.520 --> 0:17:19.560 love with her before I ever met her, and it 0:17:19.640 --> 0:17:22.320 was just meant to be. And I remember her grandmother 0:17:22.480 --> 0:17:26.000 left and she's laying in bed, and keep in mind, 0:17:26.000 --> 0:17:29.080 this is a five year old who was just learning English, 0:17:29.160 --> 0:17:31.520 and she says to me and broken English, you know, mom, 0:17:31.720 --> 0:17:34.879 how come you never had any kids? And she says, well, 0:17:35.359 --> 0:17:37.679 my brother and your mother sent me to you to 0:17:37.680 --> 0:17:40.720 be your daughter, and had I mean, I stared at 0:17:40.800 --> 0:17:43.720 her for a minute, and that had to really resonate 0:17:43.840 --> 0:17:45.960 in me because I couldn't imagine what she was saying. 0:17:46.000 --> 0:17:49.640 And then I realized that her the accident was in 0:17:49.720 --> 0:17:52.680 two thousand and three, and my mother died in two 0:17:52.720 --> 0:17:55.640 thousand and three, so her brother died also of course then, 0:17:55.760 --> 0:17:58.040 and she's telling me that the two of them in 0:17:58.080 --> 0:18:01.679 heaven are sending her to me to be my daughter. 0:18:01.920 --> 0:18:06.680 And I just broke down because you start to doubt 0:18:06.720 --> 0:18:09.080 yourself that you're looking into things that aren't there, but 0:18:09.280 --> 0:18:11.200 yet they are there, and you go round and round 0:18:11.240 --> 0:18:15.320 with your faith. And one day Tiva was playing with 0:18:15.359 --> 0:18:17.640 these dolls, and everybody would bring her a doll, and 0:18:17.680 --> 0:18:20.399 she started to name them all. And one day she 0:18:20.520 --> 0:18:24.320 names them all Sarah and Anna, and I said, how 0:18:24.320 --> 0:18:26.040 do you know those names, honey? Where did you get 0:18:26.080 --> 0:18:28.960 those names? I don't know. I just like them. So 0:18:29.040 --> 0:18:31.560 I get this picture and I said, honey, these are 0:18:31.600 --> 0:18:34.679 my grandmothers. Their names are Sarah and Anna, and I 0:18:34.720 --> 0:18:38.920 was closer to them than my parents. And yet those 0:18:38.960 --> 0:18:41.000 are the only two names that she picks out of 0:18:41.040 --> 0:18:44.240 the sky to name all of her dolls. 0:18:45.240 --> 0:18:47.840 All along the way, it sounds like God was giving 0:18:47.840 --> 0:18:49.320 you very clear signs. 0:18:50.560 --> 0:18:52.800 Oh yeah, very very clear. And her mother got some 0:18:52.960 --> 0:18:56.480 very clear signs too. So when we were able to, 0:18:56.840 --> 0:19:00.720 over the years have conversations about it. It was amazing how 0:19:00.800 --> 0:19:03.520 so many of the things that happened on her end 0:19:03.600 --> 0:19:06.000 in Iraq and that happened to me here were parallel. 0:19:06.960 --> 0:19:10.920 Hardest thing to give up, Barbara, when you became a 0:19:10.960 --> 0:19:14.320 mom to Tiba, what was the hardest thing for you 0:19:15.440 --> 0:19:20.160 to transition going from the life that you knew before, 0:19:20.240 --> 0:19:23.320 Like you said, your house was a house, to it 0:19:23.400 --> 0:19:26.520 becoming a home with this precious little girl. 0:19:27.680 --> 0:19:30.160 Well, I was fifty two years old when Tiva came, 0:19:30.480 --> 0:19:32.840 and so you would imagine that by then I'd be 0:19:32.880 --> 0:19:35.960 pretty set in my ways. But I have to tell 0:19:36.000 --> 0:19:38.680 you there wasn't anything that I had a hard time 0:19:38.720 --> 0:19:43.360 giving up. There wasn't anything that mattered more than her. 0:19:44.640 --> 0:19:46.719 And I mean I mean if I had to like 0:19:47.280 --> 0:19:50.800 dig super super deep, I mean, yeah, maybe the ability 0:19:50.840 --> 0:19:53.840 to come and go freely wasn't there anymore, But that 0:19:53.880 --> 0:19:56.560 wasn't even a big deal because I really would have 0:19:56.680 --> 0:19:59.240 rather spent time with her than anybody else. You know, 0:19:59.320 --> 0:20:01.119 I tell her that this day, I'd rather be with 0:20:01.160 --> 0:20:02.000 her than with anyone. 0:20:03.280 --> 0:20:05.520 I kind of set you up for that because I 0:20:05.680 --> 0:20:09.480 work with kids in foster care and I'm always trying 0:20:09.480 --> 0:20:12.960 to encourage people to consider building a family through adopting 0:20:13.040 --> 0:20:15.560 kids out of foster care, and they come back with 0:20:15.640 --> 0:20:17.639 I can't I'm forty, I'm forty five years old, I 0:20:17.680 --> 0:20:22.359 can't start now, And you just said the truth. The 0:20:22.400 --> 0:20:26.000 reality is it's a joy to make that sacrifice. 0:20:27.000 --> 0:20:29.520 You know, with Tiba, why would you want to miss 0:20:29.600 --> 0:20:32.920 on an opportunity to have someone like her in your 0:20:32.960 --> 0:20:36.080 life just because you think you're too old or you 0:20:36.160 --> 0:20:40.480 think you can't because they bring so much more to you. 0:20:41.240 --> 0:20:44.520 So, Tiba, you hear your mama bragging about you like this, 0:20:45.440 --> 0:20:48.840 how does that make you feel in your heart to 0:20:48.960 --> 0:20:53.159 know that you have that kind of unconditional love behind you. 0:20:54.320 --> 0:20:56.879 It puts a smile on my face. And when I 0:20:56.920 --> 0:21:00.919 hear my mom Barbara say these things, I know also 0:21:01.000 --> 0:21:03.920 my mom back home is saying the same things. Because 0:21:03.960 --> 0:21:08.040 both my mothers they're very connected, and they both show 0:21:08.119 --> 0:21:11.919 me so much unconditional love. And it's something I'll forever 0:21:12.000 --> 0:21:14.240 be grateful for because I know there are so many 0:21:14.359 --> 0:21:16.480 kids in this world that don't even have one mom, 0:21:16.560 --> 0:21:20.240 and my heart breaks for them. But also I'm just 0:21:20.359 --> 0:21:23.639 counting my blessings because I got two moms that brag 0:21:23.680 --> 0:21:26.720 about me all the time, and it gets annoying sometimes, 0:21:26.720 --> 0:21:28.160 but I just I know it's. 0:21:28.040 --> 0:21:31.080 So annoying because they love me. So annoying to know 0:21:31.200 --> 0:21:33.320 that they see all the good and all the value 0:21:33.520 --> 0:21:37.480 in me because you're not just You're not a typical 0:21:37.560 --> 0:21:41.439 young woman. You're very ambitious, you're very well spoken. You 0:21:41.560 --> 0:21:46.760 do speaking engagements, and you have used your challenges to 0:21:46.840 --> 0:21:50.080 motivate other young people. Share with our listeners some of 0:21:50.119 --> 0:21:53.480 the cool things Tiba, that you've done. I mean, besides 0:21:53.560 --> 0:21:55.719 helping to write a book that I think is going 0:21:55.760 --> 0:21:56.520 to be a bestseller. 0:21:57.200 --> 0:21:59.560 Yeah, so I did help my mom write that book, 0:21:59.640 --> 0:22:05.800 but that's mostly her book. I've done, like you said, 0:22:05.800 --> 0:22:11.920 many speaking engagements for fundraisers or for just public events 0:22:11.960 --> 0:22:16.720 that I've helped my mom out with, and I speak 0:22:17.680 --> 0:22:21.640 to encourage. Well, my goal is to encourage the children 0:22:21.680 --> 0:22:25.400 who are in situations that I know all too well, 0:22:25.960 --> 0:22:30.199 and so I'll speak for hospitals and whatever, and I 0:22:30.240 --> 0:22:32.520 get to tell the children, hey, I know it's hard, 0:22:32.600 --> 0:22:36.280 but I beg you to hold on. And I've also 0:22:36.720 --> 0:22:41.000 I'm a youth youth Ambassador for the Iraqi Children Foundation, 0:22:41.840 --> 0:22:44.639 so my mom's part of that organization as well. But 0:22:45.080 --> 0:22:51.240 it helps these displaced children in in Iraq that don't 0:22:51.280 --> 0:22:55.119