1
00:00:00,600 --> 00:00:06,119
Speaker 1: Andrew Martinez in Real Life podcast. This episode and conversation

2
00:00:06,280 --> 00:00:10,719
Speaker 1: is powered by I do say hi everyone, we are back.

3
00:00:11,320 --> 00:00:13,520
Speaker 1: I mean, this is nice, right, we're being here every

4
00:00:13,600 --> 00:00:16,319
Speaker 1: day with you guys. It's only because we were backed

5
00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:19,560
Speaker 1: up on takeaway episodes about keeping it a buck.

6
00:00:19,640 --> 00:00:20,920
Speaker 2: I did not want to admit that.

7
00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:22,920
Speaker 1: No, it's for sure what it was. But I really

8
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:25,280
Speaker 1: like to take a moment to reflect on every episode.

9
00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:27,560
Speaker 1: But you know that Kim Kardashi one was so late,

10
00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:30,920
Speaker 1: but I deserved to take a moment. What was what

11
00:00:30,960 --> 00:00:33,840
Speaker 1: we did before that? Oh? JT. And today we're actually

12
00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:36,800
Speaker 1: talking about a recent episode. And then hopefully now after

13
00:00:36,880 --> 00:00:40,760
Speaker 1: this episode, every time we drop a new interview, it

14
00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:45,240
Speaker 1: will be followed by an audio only takeaway immediately following

15
00:00:46,479 --> 00:00:49,360
Speaker 1: the video drop. Does that make sense absolutely? So this

16
00:00:49,440 --> 00:00:52,720
Speaker 1: week we're gonna actually have a new interview from a

17
00:00:52,760 --> 00:00:55,920
Speaker 1: new guest that I'm actually really excited about, somebody I

18
00:00:55,920 --> 00:01:00,680
Speaker 1: think you guys are gonna like, and a week after

19
00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:02,760
Speaker 1: we'll drop the takeaway from that episode, and then there'll

20
00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:04,639
Speaker 1: be another guest. So that's how that'll be the rhythm

21
00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:06,399
Speaker 1: and the routine of how we're gonna rock. So you

22
00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:08,640
Speaker 1: should be getting an audio episode from us on this

23
00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:13,920
Speaker 1: podcast every week moving forward. After our next interview, I

24
00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:17,160
Speaker 1: almost said the name just now who? It was too soon,

25
00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:20,319
Speaker 1: too soon, give me a day or two on that. Anyway.

26
00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:24,000
Speaker 1: Right now, today we are gathered here to do Kelly

27
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:29,280
Speaker 1: Clarkson takeaway. We love Kelly clarks That is my goal

28
00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:32,600
Speaker 1: to KaraOK. So she got a bunch of bangers. Oh

29
00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:34,640
Speaker 1: and the other one, the one that we referenced in

30
00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:38,000
Speaker 1: this episode, we referenced and.

31
00:01:37,959 --> 00:01:41,480
Speaker 3: For these takeaways, you know, we look. I was going

32
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:43,959
Speaker 3: to tell them that we look at the comments and

33
00:01:44,000 --> 00:01:46,440
Speaker 3: we see what are the things that resonated with people.

34
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:50,160
Speaker 3: So if you if you want us to read those comments,

35
00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:53,240
Speaker 3: you should hashtag takeaway irl.

36
00:01:53,640 --> 00:01:56,440
Speaker 1: Oh that's good idea. All right, let's try it with

37
00:01:56,520 --> 00:01:58,600
Speaker 1: the next interview. Who the person I can't tell you

38
00:01:58,640 --> 00:02:02,080
Speaker 1: about yet, and we'll go from there. Oh got it.

39
00:02:02,360 --> 00:02:06,040
Speaker 1: The song that we referenced in this podcast was because

40
00:02:06,080 --> 00:02:08,919
Speaker 1: of you. Ah, that's right, because we talk about her

41
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:13,560
Speaker 1: and her father. Kelly Clarkson has no interest and had

42
00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:16,040
Speaker 1: had no interest in reconnecting with her father, and then

43
00:02:16,040 --> 00:02:18,160
Speaker 1: her father passed, right, yes, yeah, And then she was

44
00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:20,399
Speaker 1: saying that people asked her do you have any regrets

45
00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:22,600
Speaker 1: about that? And she was like, yeah, no, I don't.

46
00:02:22,639 --> 00:02:25,119
Speaker 1: It's interesting. It's an interesting take because I've never really

47
00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:27,600
Speaker 1: heard that from somebody. And she's just like, I guess

48
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:30,320
Speaker 1: trying to protect her life and her peace, and well she.

49
00:02:30,280 --> 00:02:32,720
Speaker 3: Says she had tried, she opened up the bridge and

50
00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:36,160
Speaker 3: it just never the connection never happened. And she did

51
00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:39,799
Speaker 3: say that, and she also said, how, you know, how

52
00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:42,799
Speaker 3: can you miss something that was just never there? Yeah, yeah,

53
00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:47,680
Speaker 3: I get that, I get that. But that song because

54
00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:49,040
Speaker 3: of You is so good.

55
00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:52,240
Speaker 1: She got good songs, Kelly Clarkson, she got just the

56
00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:55,200
Speaker 1: I can't wait. She just announced, by the way, after

57
00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:57,160
Speaker 1: we did our podcast, she announced that she's getting ready

58
00:02:57,160 --> 00:02:59,720
Speaker 1: to drop a new album with songs talking about what

59
00:02:59,720 --> 00:03:02,200
Speaker 1: we're talking about in the podcast, the past couple of

60
00:03:02,280 --> 00:03:05,239
Speaker 1: years of her life and the trauma and the heartbreak

61
00:03:05,400 --> 00:03:08,400
Speaker 1: and you know, the therapy that she's done to get through

62
00:03:08,400 --> 00:03:11,639
Speaker 1: this divorce. All of that will be coming out in

63
00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:13,440
Speaker 1: her music and this next album that she's getting ready

64
00:03:13,440 --> 00:03:15,320
Speaker 1: to do. She's doing a tour, she's doing Vegas. That

65
00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:18,680
Speaker 1: girl works, She's she's on the voice, she's got her

66
00:03:18,720 --> 00:03:19,440
Speaker 1: own talk show.

67
00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:22,399
Speaker 2: The day of the interview, she did three episodes.

68
00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:24,280
Speaker 1: Of her talk show and then came to my podcast.

69
00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:27,760
Speaker 1: So though, and she's also just a good person, like

70
00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:31,000
Speaker 1: a nice like she's just someone anybody should would like

71
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:35,440
Speaker 1: to hang out with, right, like personable, cool. Anyway, she

72
00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:36,960
Speaker 1: opened up a lot. She's been through a lot, and

73
00:03:36,960 --> 00:03:38,840
Speaker 1: you know what a lot of people have been through divorce.

74
00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,680
Speaker 1: Some people it hits harder than others. Some people get

75
00:03:42,720 --> 00:03:44,600
Speaker 1: divorced and they're like, oh my god, I feel better,

76
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:48,400
Speaker 1: I'm free, I'm onto my life. Some people are devastated

77
00:03:48,440 --> 00:03:54,360
Speaker 1: and never recover from it. Somebody like Kelly Clarkson, who who.

78
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:57,080
Speaker 1: She talks about this in the episode. She says, I

79
00:03:57,160 --> 00:03:59,600
Speaker 1: never really felt this was my first time really being

80
00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:04,840
Speaker 1: in love. That hits different when you have never given yourself,

81
00:04:04,880 --> 00:04:07,880
Speaker 1: given your heart, been vulnerable with anybody else, and then

82
00:04:07,920 --> 00:04:10,440
Speaker 1: you finally do and you are all in and then

83
00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:13,320
Speaker 1: it doesn't work. It's a different type of devastation.

84
00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:15,080
Speaker 2: She said, this was the first time she really fell

85
00:04:15,120 --> 00:04:15,880
Speaker 2: in love.

86
00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:18,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, and now they have kids and just the whole

87
00:04:19,320 --> 00:04:21,599
Speaker 1: I mean. Anyway, here's a little clip of her talking

88
00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:27,400
Speaker 1: about that.

89
00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:29,760
Speaker 4: By the way, every phase is on my next record.

90
00:04:31,560 --> 00:04:35,000
Speaker 4: There is sadness, there is rage, rage, Yeah.

91
00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:35,320
Speaker 2: There's a lot.

92
00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:37,440
Speaker 4: There's a lot. It's because you go through all those

93
00:04:37,440 --> 00:04:40,640
Speaker 4: emotions like you because there's no and I feel like

94
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:43,080
Speaker 4: if you don't, if you don't hit all of those

95
00:04:44,080 --> 00:04:47,080
Speaker 4: if you don't have that, then were you really in it?

96
00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:50,880
Speaker 4: Like you know what I'm saying, Like like like I

97
00:04:50,960 --> 00:04:53,000
Speaker 4: sometimes I run across people and they're like, oh, I

98
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,320
Speaker 4: felt like, you know fine, And I was just like wait.

99
00:04:55,120 --> 00:04:56,960
Speaker 2: What I was like I was.

100
00:04:57,000 --> 00:05:03,000
Speaker 4: Destroyed, like on the ground, like crying, Like it's because

101
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:06,400
Speaker 4: that's a loss, that's a it's a death. Honestly, you

102
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:09,279
Speaker 4: grieve something that you thought would be forever.

103
00:05:10,480 --> 00:05:13,919
Speaker 1: Man, I feel her. One thing I love about this

104
00:05:13,960 --> 00:05:17,320
Speaker 1: episode number one is her the vulnerability. And I love

105
00:05:17,440 --> 00:05:20,240
Speaker 1: talking to people who have done work. It's one thing

106
00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,919
Speaker 1: for all of us to be like I was I

107
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:25,680
Speaker 1: went through something, or this is what I feel, or

108
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,960
Speaker 1: I'm sad or I'm whatever. It's another thing I love

109
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:31,240
Speaker 1: talking to people who have done work because I feel

110
00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,599
Speaker 1: like maybe there's something we could learn, Maybe something I

111
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:35,719
Speaker 1: can learn from the work that you've done on yourself

112
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:37,520
Speaker 1: that has pulled you up out of it. Because we've

113
00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:39,760
Speaker 1: all been down or on the floor, some of us

114
00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:43,000
Speaker 1: worse than others. But from from what I got from

115
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:45,960
Speaker 1: her in this conversation, she was in a bad place.

116
00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:50,000
Speaker 3: She said, it took a long time to get there,

117
00:05:50,080 --> 00:05:53,720
Speaker 3: like for you know, people like everyday people who are

118
00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:56,599
Speaker 3: not in the public eye. You know how long it

119
00:05:56,640 --> 00:05:59,240
Speaker 3: takes before you decide you're gonna get into the divorce?

120
00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:03,760
Speaker 3: And remember or she said that she her marriage counselor Yeah, so.

121
00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:05,960
Speaker 1: I could understand why that was really hard for her

122
00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:09,479
Speaker 1: and also hard for her actually making the decision to

123
00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:15,000
Speaker 1: get a divorce, which I'm sure it's hard for anybody.

124
00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:20,000
Speaker 1: But she talks about the moment when she knew that

125
00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:22,279
Speaker 1: it was over. Here's that clip.

126
00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:27,640
Speaker 4: And then there was this book called named Tamed and

127
00:06:27,640 --> 00:06:28,840
Speaker 4: I read it and I was reading it and it

128
00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:31,560
Speaker 4: was like literally she was talking about her life and

129
00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:34,000
Speaker 4: she was talking about She goes, you know what, it

130
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,279
Speaker 4: was the hardest thing for me to do. But I

131
00:06:36,320 --> 00:06:39,040
Speaker 4: looked at my daughter. I looked at her, and I thought,

132
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:44,600
Speaker 4: would I want this marriage for my daughter? Would I

133
00:06:44,640 --> 00:06:46,920
Speaker 4: want my daughter to be in this position?

134
00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:47,160
Speaker 1: Like?

135
00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:48,560
Speaker 4: Is this what I want for her?

136
00:06:48,600 --> 00:06:49,600
Speaker 1: Like? Would I want this for her?

137
00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:50,080
Speaker 4: Then?

138
00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:51,080
Speaker 2: Why would I?

139
00:06:51,360 --> 00:06:51,480
Speaker 1: Like?

140
00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:54,520
Speaker 4: No, I don't, so, like, why would I want it

141
00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:54,800
Speaker 4: for me?

142
00:06:57,120 --> 00:06:59,680
Speaker 3: That book that she's talking about, Untamed by Glennon Doyle,

143
00:06:59,680 --> 00:07:01,479
Speaker 3: will put in the description in case any of you

144
00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:06,320
Speaker 3: guys want to read it. It talks a lot about

145
00:07:06,680 --> 00:07:10,560
Speaker 3: certain burdens that being a mother has, and one of

146
00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:13,640
Speaker 3: the quotes from the book it goes, mothers have martyred themselves.

147
00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:15,320
Speaker 2: In their children's names. Since the beginning of time, we have.

148
00:07:15,320 --> 00:07:18,640
Speaker 3: Lived as if she who disappears the most loves the most.

149
00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:21,200
Speaker 3: We have been conditioned to prove our love by slowly

150
00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,440
Speaker 3: ceasing to exist. So a lot of people stay in

151
00:07:23,480 --> 00:07:26,040
Speaker 3: marriages because, oh, it's for the kids. I don't want

152
00:07:26,040 --> 00:07:28,520
Speaker 3: to break apart, especially if you come from a broken family,

153
00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:30,320
Speaker 3: you stay for the kids. And I feel like in

154
00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:33,360
Speaker 3: that one quote alone, she's like, no, like, if you're

155
00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:36,080
Speaker 3: not happy, how can you even be the best mother

156
00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:38,640
Speaker 3: you can to your child? And would you want this

157
00:07:39,120 --> 00:07:41,280
Speaker 3: for your daughter? And Kelly decided no, she did not.

158
00:07:41,800 --> 00:07:43,680
Speaker 1: I do not want that for my daughter. I love

159
00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:47,400
Speaker 1: that notion. That's something that we could all use, not

160
00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:51,000
Speaker 1: just in that case. It's like when I find that

161
00:07:51,040 --> 00:07:54,560
Speaker 1: a lot of us who are like kind and empathetic

162
00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:57,600
Speaker 1: and give people, grace and all those things. We don't

163
00:07:57,640 --> 00:08:01,360
Speaker 1: always show that same thing to ourselves, right, So like,

164
00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:04,200
Speaker 1: in this thing, is this a good enough relationship for

165
00:08:04,280 --> 00:08:06,400
Speaker 1: my daughter? No, it's not. Why should I want that

166
00:08:06,440 --> 00:08:08,720
Speaker 1: for me? It's time for a divorce. But you could

167
00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:12,320
Speaker 1: run that same play on anything. You can run that

168
00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:14,240
Speaker 1: same type of thought. I have a friend this recently

169
00:08:14,280 --> 00:08:15,840
Speaker 1: came up. Did I talk about this on the episode

170
00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:17,680
Speaker 1: because I thought about this when she said it? Maybe

171
00:08:17,680 --> 00:08:20,400
Speaker 1: I didn't say it all to me. No, No, I haven't. No,

172
00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:21,560
Speaker 1: that was something else.

173
00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:21,680
Speaker 4: No.

174
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:24,080
Speaker 1: I have a friend who recently went through something. She

175
00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:27,000
Speaker 1: went through a traumatic loss, and she had a lot

176
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:30,360
Speaker 1: of guilt about it. She felt like she could have

177
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:33,200
Speaker 1: helped someone, She could have been she could have somehow

178
00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:38,080
Speaker 1: protected the person from what they were going through. Okay,

179
00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:39,800
Speaker 1: And so she had a lot of guilt about it.

180
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,640
Speaker 1: And I just was like, you can't take that on.

181
00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:45,440
Speaker 1: You're not God. You know you can't take that on.

182
00:08:45,960 --> 00:08:47,880
Speaker 1: I said, let me ask you a question, and I

183
00:08:47,920 --> 00:08:50,040
Speaker 1: asked her this. I said, what would you do if

184
00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:53,320
Speaker 1: your daughter came to you and said, Mom, I feel

185
00:08:53,360 --> 00:08:55,959
Speaker 1: guilty because I didn't help this person and then they

186
00:08:56,000 --> 00:09:01,320
Speaker 1: passed away. What would you tell your daughter, she just

187
00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:02,839
Speaker 1: looked at me, She just stared at me, and she

188
00:09:02,920 --> 00:09:04,319
Speaker 1: was like, I'd never thought about it like that. And

189
00:09:04,400 --> 00:09:07,640
Speaker 1: so just be as be as kind to yourself, at

190
00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:09,880
Speaker 1: least as kind as you would be to your daughter.

191
00:09:09,920 --> 00:09:12,160
Speaker 1: Why not? Why wouldn't you want to love on yourself

192
00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:15,120
Speaker 1: and be kind to yourself in anything. So whenever you're

193
00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:17,400
Speaker 1: like stuck or beating yourself up, it is a thing

194
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:19,120
Speaker 1: to kind of reflect on. It doesn't have to be

195
00:09:19,120 --> 00:09:22,120
Speaker 1: a daughter, anybody you love, if anybody you care about

196
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:24,319
Speaker 1: or you love that you would give advice to, you

197
00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:27,280
Speaker 1: would give compassion to, you would give grace to give

198
00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:30,040
Speaker 1: it to yourself. Sometimes if you use that kind of thinking,

199
00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:34,800
Speaker 1: I use that sometimes I'm like and I'm like, God,

200
00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:37,320
Speaker 1: that was whack of me. You shouldn't have. I try

201
00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:39,520
Speaker 1: to talk to myself like I would talk to somebody

202
00:09:39,559 --> 00:09:42,439
Speaker 1: who I care about giving grace me. Yeah, Like I

203
00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:44,560
Speaker 1: would tell my friend, are you kidding me? You've done enough?

204
00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:47,000
Speaker 1: You help that person a lot. I don't feel bad.

205
00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:49,520
Speaker 1: So then I have to tell myself what I would

206
00:09:49,559 --> 00:09:52,880
Speaker 1: tell somebody that I cared about. You know what I'm saying,

207
00:09:52,920 --> 00:09:55,160
Speaker 1: Because you have to care about yourself that's really the

208
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:59,000
Speaker 1: idea of it. So I love that that story, and

209
00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:01,320
Speaker 1: I love that she said that, and I could totally

210
00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:03,960
Speaker 1: understand when you have that realization, like, man, this would

211
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,920
Speaker 1: be a terrible marriage for my daughter to be in.

212
00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:09,040
Speaker 1: Do I want her to see that? Do I want

213
00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:12,040
Speaker 1: that from me? So? Yeah, So she made the decision.

214
00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:14,880
Speaker 1: Obviously she got a divorced. And then she talks about

215
00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:17,080
Speaker 1: also sharing how she was feeling with her kids.

216
00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:19,640
Speaker 3: You know, I love that question that she asks her

217
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,800
Speaker 3: kids before she goes before they go to sleep every night.

218
00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:23,440
Speaker 1: What did she say? I don't remember the exact question.

219
00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:27,000
Speaker 3: She's saying that she shows her kids her true emotions,

220
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,920
Speaker 3: that that's important to her, and that every night she

221
00:10:28,960 --> 00:10:32,280
Speaker 3: asked are you happy? And her kids are undertaking Yeah,

222
00:10:32,640 --> 00:10:34,720
Speaker 3: are are you happy today? We are you happy today?

223
00:10:34,920 --> 00:10:37,079
Speaker 3: And sometimes they say yes, And sometimes, you know, the

224
00:10:37,679 --> 00:10:40,520
Speaker 3: answer they give her is heart wrenching because they'll say, hey,

225
00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:43,319
Speaker 3: I really miss dad, all of us being in the house,

226
00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:45,160
Speaker 3: and she has to deal with that.

227
00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:47,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, but at least you're living in truth, you know

228
00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:49,839
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. At least I love that too. But

229
00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:53,160
Speaker 1: a lot of people do that, especially like I think

230
00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:55,120
Speaker 1: it's maybe better now. But like if you look at

231
00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:58,120
Speaker 1: our parents and our grandparents, it was always so much

232
00:10:58,240 --> 00:11:02,640
Speaker 1: like secrets. Everything was secretive, like you couldn't know that

233
00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:06,199
Speaker 1: mommy and daddy were fighting, or or they would try

234
00:11:06,240 --> 00:11:09,679
Speaker 1: to do it in or just anything, any drama they

235
00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:12,200
Speaker 1: try to keep some families, some families laid it all

236
00:11:12,240 --> 00:11:16,120
Speaker 1: out there, too much out there. But some families, uh,

237
00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:19,319
Speaker 1: you know, they try to present up. It never really

238
00:11:19,360 --> 00:11:22,079
Speaker 1: works all the day. It doesn't really work. It doesn't

239
00:11:22,120 --> 00:11:23,760
Speaker 1: really work. Your kids, by the way, to know, the

240
00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:26,880
Speaker 1: kids are way smarter than you give them credit for. Uh.

241
00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:29,200
Speaker 1: And also it's important. It's it's important for them to

242
00:11:29,240 --> 00:11:31,520
Speaker 1: see you fight through things so that they can learn

243
00:11:31,559 --> 00:11:33,920
Speaker 1: how to fight through things themselves. Because if you paint

244
00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,160
Speaker 1: a picture like everything's perfect in your life so far

245
00:11:36,679 --> 00:11:39,400
Speaker 1: all the time, then when your kid, you know, is

246
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:42,880
Speaker 1: confronted with conflict or or challenge, he doesn't really have

247
00:11:42,920 --> 00:11:45,480
Speaker 1: a point of reference on how to deal with it

248
00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:48,240
Speaker 1: emotionally because he hasn't seen you do it. But if

249
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:51,480
Speaker 1: he sees you struggling and pull yourself up and do

250
00:11:51,559 --> 00:11:53,480
Speaker 1: whatever you got, go to the gym, shake it off,

251
00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:56,440
Speaker 1: you know, talk about it, go to therapy. Then when

252
00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:58,680
Speaker 1: your child is going through something, they have a point

253
00:11:58,720 --> 00:12:00,640
Speaker 1: of reference as a way to pull yourself up out

254
00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:04,920
Speaker 1: of it. So I subscribe to being real with your

255
00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:08,319
Speaker 1: kids again. Not everything needs to you know you appropriate,

256
00:12:08,320 --> 00:12:10,400
Speaker 1: of course, but like being real with how you feel,

257
00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:12,880
Speaker 1: being real with some of your challenges. I think it's

258
00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:15,320
Speaker 1: it just will make you closer and makes your kids

259
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:19,000
Speaker 1: trust you for sure more and can come to you

260
00:12:19,160 --> 00:12:21,560
Speaker 1: like if you. Sometimes, even my kids, I'll be like, oh,

261
00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:24,760
Speaker 1: I'm sol this, and then I feel like it makes

262
00:12:24,840 --> 00:12:26,880
Speaker 1: them more comfortable to come to me and say that.

263
00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:30,520
Speaker 3: You're also teaching them the language because you can be

264
00:12:30,600 --> 00:12:34,480
Speaker 3: feeling something and don't know how to string the words together. Yes,

265
00:12:34,559 --> 00:12:37,280
Speaker 3: so if they're learning the language from you, now they

266
00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:39,080
Speaker 3: know okay well And I feel like this this is

267
00:12:39,080 --> 00:12:40,800
Speaker 3: how my mom, this is how my dad said.

268
00:12:40,559 --> 00:12:42,720
Speaker 1: It to me, And they're learning that it's okay to

269
00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:46,880
Speaker 1: not be okay sometimes absolutely, So that's another thing. But

270
00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:50,280
Speaker 1: she was great, She's done. So this is a therapy episode, guys,

271
00:12:50,520 --> 00:12:53,040
Speaker 1: She's done a lot of therapy. It's what saved her.

272
00:12:53,080 --> 00:12:55,160
Speaker 1: I think it's what picked her up off the floor,

273
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:57,320
Speaker 1: because she said she was in bad shape on the

274
00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:02,360
Speaker 1: floor and I think that therapy, reading, just working on herself,

275
00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:05,400
Speaker 1: holding on tight to her kids is what like kind

276
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:10,240
Speaker 1: of lifted her up. You know, a conversation that I

277
00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:13,400
Speaker 1: liked that we had to so we talked, So Kelly

278
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:15,320
Speaker 1: is getting ready to drop this album. Like I mentioned earlier,

279
00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:18,160
Speaker 1: she has a song, she said, called red Flags, red

280
00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:22,520
Speaker 1: Flag Collector, Red Flag Collector, that sounds like a good song.

281
00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:25,880
Speaker 1: We don't talk about this enough, and I think sometimes

282
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:29,880
Speaker 1: maybe we want something so bad, or we want somebody

283
00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:35,480
Speaker 1: to be something so bad that we ignore signs. Well

284
00:13:35,520 --> 00:13:37,880
Speaker 1: he's great, No, I really want this to work. So

285
00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:40,079
Speaker 1: you see little things and you just kind of ignore

286
00:13:40,160 --> 00:13:42,840
Speaker 1: it because you're trying to make this thing work. You

287
00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:46,680
Speaker 1: should never ignore red flags. You had some good red flags,

288
00:13:46,679 --> 00:13:52,679
Speaker 1: Angie that you mentioned. We said, oh, I know what mine.

289
00:13:52,720 --> 00:13:54,600
Speaker 1: Some of mine were that we talked about. We said,

290
00:13:56,760 --> 00:14:00,920
Speaker 1: somebody who complains too much, like likes being some people

291
00:14:01,640 --> 00:14:04,240
Speaker 1: like they live in their trauma, they live in like

292
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:08,120
Speaker 1: woe is me and listen, we all have ups and downs.

293
00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:10,120
Speaker 1: I'm not saying I don't complain sometimes I don't know whatever,

294
00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:13,320
Speaker 1: but like somebody who always does that no matter it

295
00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,439
Speaker 1: could be the son I have a friend that we

296
00:14:15,559 --> 00:14:17,959
Speaker 1: call her. I'm not gonna say your name should be mad.

297
00:14:18,280 --> 00:14:20,920
Speaker 1: I call her what we call her wet sox because

298
00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:23,280
Speaker 1: it could be the like the most greatest time ever

299
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,960
Speaker 1: and should be like find something to complain about. So

300
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,000
Speaker 1: it's like, you know, if you have if you have

301
00:14:28,040 --> 00:14:30,360
Speaker 1: wet socks on, no matter what you're doing, there's always

302
00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:34,560
Speaker 1: like an uncomfortable like like what a strange analogy, you know,

303
00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:37,560
Speaker 1: but think about it, it sounds it sounds terrible. If you

304
00:14:37,640 --> 00:14:40,800
Speaker 1: walk it through life with wet socks on, then your

305
00:14:40,840 --> 00:14:45,240
Speaker 1: experience is always just a problematic. There's always like uncomfortable,

306
00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:49,520
Speaker 1: always yucky. Oh you find the the you know, annoying

307
00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:52,960
Speaker 1: thing about it anyway. So that's the notion, right somebody

308
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:56,720
Speaker 1: who always could be in the most could be on

309
00:14:56,760 --> 00:14:59,240
Speaker 1: a boat and it could be sonny outside and they

310
00:14:59,240 --> 00:15:02,400
Speaker 1: could say, you know, we were supposed to go back

311
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:05,200
Speaker 1: earlier because I'm supposed to get you know, this type

312
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:06,400
Speaker 1: of person and you.

313
00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:09,200
Speaker 2: Drain and everybody else killing my soul and you're still.

314
00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:11,040
Speaker 1: In my joy and you and it and if it's

315
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:13,560
Speaker 1: a constant thing, and if I see too that, if

316
00:15:13,600 --> 00:15:15,680
Speaker 1: I see that too much in somebody, I'm like ooh,

317
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:16,360
Speaker 1: I'm not doing that.

318
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:18,760
Speaker 2: Lift me up, don't bring me down.

319
00:15:18,760 --> 00:15:21,840
Speaker 1: The word Yeah, for me, that's a big red flag.

320
00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:24,680
Speaker 3: I love the next one you gave, which was about

321
00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:27,880
Speaker 3: a partner or somebody you're dating, and they got they

322
00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:30,240
Speaker 3: just too friendly, They got too many friends, they're friends

323
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:30,960
Speaker 3: with everybody.

324
00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:34,120
Speaker 1: Yeah I got, I got seventy five best friends. Yeah.

325
00:15:34,240 --> 00:15:35,000
Speaker 2: No, that's weird.

326
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:38,560
Speaker 1: That's because it's not possible, it's not genuine. So either

327
00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:42,280
Speaker 1: you're right, either you're spreading yourself too thin and you're

328
00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:44,400
Speaker 1: like half a friend to all those people, or a

329
00:15:44,480 --> 00:15:47,280
Speaker 1: quarter of a friend. So you show up for their

330
00:15:47,720 --> 00:15:50,240
Speaker 1: party or you show up for their whatever. But there's

331
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:53,000
Speaker 1: no way you can have a full friendship, real relationship

332
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:56,560
Speaker 1: with seventy five people. You have acquaintances, you have people

333
00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:58,560
Speaker 1: you show love, you have people you're cool with, you

334
00:15:58,560 --> 00:16:02,040
Speaker 1: have experiences with different but like in your everyday life,

335
00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:03,760
Speaker 1: your core group of friends, there's no way you should

336
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:04,240
Speaker 1: have that many.

337
00:16:04,320 --> 00:16:07,040
Speaker 3: You don't get to experience the best parts of friendships

338
00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:09,920
Speaker 3: to like be in that shadow level with so many people.

339
00:16:10,640 --> 00:16:12,680
Speaker 1: Yeah. And also to me, it's a red flag because

340
00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:18,360
Speaker 1: what do you value? Right? I think you probably don't

341
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:20,720
Speaker 1: know if you have that many friends. You just out

342
00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:25,400
Speaker 1: here looking for what to be popular, to be popular to.

343
00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:30,080
Speaker 1: It's like looking for approval to be nice. It's either

344
00:16:30,160 --> 00:16:33,920
Speaker 1: that or you're an opportunist. You and you're using a

345
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:35,760
Speaker 1: lot of those people, Kelly for whatever reason.

346
00:16:35,880 --> 00:16:38,360
Speaker 2: Kelly called it a you're a networker I gotta watch

347
00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:38,760
Speaker 2: out for.

348
00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:43,640
Speaker 1: You know exactly, Yes, that's a thing. So yeah for me,

349
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:45,560
Speaker 1: that's just for me. You're red flags. You know, everybody

350
00:16:45,560 --> 00:16:48,880
Speaker 1: probably has their own. But I love that conversation we had,

351
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:53,360
Speaker 1: and overall, just Kelly is inspiring and not afraid to

352
00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:56,120
Speaker 1: share her truth. She does it in her music all

353
00:16:56,120 --> 00:16:58,720
Speaker 1: the time. I'm looking forward to this album, especially after

354
00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:00,840
Speaker 1: this conversation, and she says she wrote this whole album

355
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:04,080
Speaker 1: while she was going through this process of divorce and

356
00:17:04,160 --> 00:17:09,719
Speaker 1: heartbreak and then you know, a healing and coming out

357
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:12,399
Speaker 1: on the other side with her kids intact and her family.

358
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:15,720
Speaker 1: You know her her life intact. She's got great friends.

359
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,840
Speaker 3: Kelly is one of the best vocalists of our generation.

360
00:17:19,119 --> 00:17:21,800
Speaker 3: Might I add on her show she has a Kelly

361
00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:24,720
Speaker 3: OK where she goes to town. She just did a

362
00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:29,000
Speaker 3: cover of Jasmine Sullivan's song and she kills it every time.

363
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:30,879
Speaker 2: Man, So I'm very much looking forward to her album.

364
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:34,359
Speaker 1: I saw her on The Voice last week and they

365
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:37,560
Speaker 1: did like a thing. They all sang a song together.

366
00:17:37,600 --> 00:17:42,400
Speaker 1: It was Kelly Blake, Chance, Chance, and the other kid

367
00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:45,479
Speaker 1: I don't know his name. There's another kid there Nil.

368
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:48,320
Speaker 3: He used to be in one direction if I'm singing, yeah,

369
00:17:48,320 --> 00:17:49,120
Speaker 3: if I'm saying.

370
00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:51,280
Speaker 1: It right anyway, it was another guy that I didn't

371
00:17:51,280 --> 00:17:53,720
Speaker 1: know who he was. Sorry to that man, Sorry, sorry

372
00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:59,679
Speaker 1: that man. And they were all singing and no disrespect

373
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:01,320
Speaker 1: to any of them. A Chance, you know, I love you,

374
00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:05,520
Speaker 1: but y'all shouldn't sing next to Kelly Clarkson, you know

375
00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:08,080
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. They were all singing a song and

376
00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:10,560
Speaker 1: every time she would chime in, it's just like she

377
00:18:10,800 --> 00:18:14,760
Speaker 1: just was. She was like dis borderline disrespectful. You know

378
00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,360
Speaker 1: how when you see like Aretha Franklin singing with somebody

379
00:18:17,359 --> 00:18:22,920
Speaker 1: else and then she's always just disrespectful. Like vocalist Jennifer Hudson.

380
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:27,520
Speaker 1: You know certain people that don't don't don't sing with them,

381
00:18:28,280 --> 00:18:31,720
Speaker 1: good luck, don't sing with them. And she had one

382
00:18:31,760 --> 00:18:33,320
Speaker 1: of those moments the other day on the Voice. Was

383
00:18:33,320 --> 00:18:36,200
Speaker 1: pretty great. Anyway. We love her, We think we learned

384
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:39,720
Speaker 1: a lot about and I think this episode was hold

385
00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:42,840
Speaker 1: on and it was really nice to see the response

386
00:18:42,880 --> 00:18:44,919
Speaker 1: to this episode. I think a lot of women have

387
00:18:45,359 --> 00:18:48,960
Speaker 1: can take away something from this. A lot of you know,

388
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,080
Speaker 1: a lot of women is experienced heartbreak and some of

389
00:18:51,119 --> 00:18:53,919
Speaker 1: the things that Kelly's been through. So yeah, I think

390
00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:55,960
Speaker 1: it was a lot of free therapy. I think it

391
00:18:56,040 --> 00:19:00,520
Speaker 1: was inspiring. So yeah, So I loved I loved episode.

392
00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:02,399
Speaker 1: I love the reaction to the episode. I love how

393
00:19:02,440 --> 00:19:07,960
Speaker 1: many people related to her story and her and so yeah,

394
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:10,240
Speaker 1: if you haven't seen the full interview, it's on my

395
00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:12,760
Speaker 1: YouTube page Edge Martinez Irl if you want to watch it,

396
00:19:12,800 --> 00:19:14,560
Speaker 1: and of course you can listen to the full interview

397
00:19:14,640 --> 00:19:19,280
Speaker 1: here as well or wherever podcasts or heard. Make sure

398
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:21,280
Speaker 1: you subscribe though, so you get a whole bunch of updates,

399
00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:23,359
Speaker 1: and make sure you subscribe because in the next couple

400
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:26,680
Speaker 1: of days we're dropping a brand new interview with someone

401
00:19:26,720 --> 00:19:30,119
Speaker 1: I'm really excited to talk to. And I will let

402
00:19:30,160 --> 00:19:31,439
Speaker 1: you know in a couple of days who that is.

403
00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:34,399
Speaker 1: So thank you for rocking with us, So you eat

404
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:38,720
Speaker 1: the next one by like, comment, subscribe, and.

405
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:43,000
Speaker 3: Use the hashtag hashtag Takeaway IRL and let us know your.

406
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:45,560
Speaker 1: Takeaways, yes, so we could share them in the next episode.

407
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:46,679
Speaker 1: Thanks guys, Bye,