WEBVTT - The Biggest Sun Competition 0:00:07.560 --> 0:00:16.120 I got, oh, welcome back to we know his parenting. 0:00:16.160 --> 0:00:19.760 I'm Peter McNerney and I'm Beth new One, and Beth 0:00:20.120 --> 0:00:26.040 is sick. I'm very sick, getting better, but I haven't 0:00:26.079 --> 0:00:29.760 been this sick in a while. I was comatose for 0:00:30.120 --> 0:00:34.319 the whole weekend. We um so sick, in fact, that 0:00:34.440 --> 0:00:38.320 we had a little vacation planned to the Berkshire's Airbnb 0:00:38.600 --> 0:00:44.400 cabin in the woods and it was canceled. I said, hey, 0:00:44.680 --> 0:00:47.160 if I can only keep a few bites of food 0:00:47.159 --> 0:00:49.000 down at a time, I want to be in my 0:00:49.040 --> 0:00:52.159 own home with my own kitchen. Did you know what 0:00:52.720 --> 0:00:57.560 it was the right move? Yeah, it was a little disappointed, um, 0:00:57.600 --> 0:01:00.480 but then I realized, So I drove the kids up 0:01:00.520 --> 0:01:05.520 to your parents house or met your dad halfway. So 0:01:05.600 --> 0:01:08.360 we were planning to get rid of the kids and 0:01:08.400 --> 0:01:13.280 then have a cozy, romantic weekend, two romantic nights alone 0:01:13.280 --> 0:01:17.520 in the woods in a cabin, and um, we just 0:01:17.560 --> 0:01:20.840 did it at home. And by romantic getaway it was 0:01:21.120 --> 0:01:24.039 it was me sleeping most of the day in my 0:01:24.120 --> 0:01:26.800 bed while you were in the other room ignoring me. 0:01:29.280 --> 0:01:32.600 Did you want me to not ignore you? I mean, 0:01:33.040 --> 0:01:35.640 I wouldn't have hated it to be brought a cup 0:01:35.680 --> 0:01:38.800 of herbal tea or something. At some point I did 0:01:38.800 --> 0:01:42.319 not exactly tend to your every night um, but I 0:01:42.360 --> 0:01:48.080 figured having no children around was the greatest gift of all. Yeah. 0:01:48.280 --> 0:01:54.440 As I slowly die, Yeah, here we are, UM on 0:01:55.000 --> 0:01:57.800 Saturday when the kids are still here, may Haven kept 0:01:57.840 --> 0:02:00.600 being like, what are you going to get up? It's 0:02:00.680 --> 0:02:08.000 like lazy mom. The kids they would play with toys 0:02:08.160 --> 0:02:11.400 right next to my head, like in character, and I 0:02:11.480 --> 0:02:14.800 was like, please do that in the living room and 0:02:14.840 --> 0:02:19.080 they actually listened. For once things have changed, They've like 0:02:19.320 --> 0:02:23.760 they become huge adult children. They become huge adult children. 0:02:25.960 --> 0:02:29.520 Do you want to know the incredible are a huge 0:02:29.520 --> 0:02:33.080 adult children? Moment I had with him. Yeah. So I 0:02:33.160 --> 0:02:39.560 drove them about two hours ish up to Sturbridge, where 0:02:39.560 --> 0:02:44.120 I made the past I passed them off to granddad 0:02:44.919 --> 0:02:49.040 at a local McDonald's and Maven historically, as we all 0:02:49.080 --> 0:02:53.600 know listen to the podcast, it gets car sick very easily. 0:02:53.680 --> 0:02:57.919 We all know, No, she doesn't very easily. She gets 0:02:57.919 --> 0:03:01.320 carsick on multiple our trip. Some people's kids get car 0:03:01.360 --> 0:03:02.720 sick if they're in the car for like a half 0:03:03.040 --> 0:03:07.079 You're right, she she reliably gets sick. An hour and 0:03:07.160 --> 0:03:09.720 a half to two hours into I think an hour 0:03:09.760 --> 0:03:12.560 and a half into a drive, she'll start to get sick. 0:03:12.960 --> 0:03:15.320 I don't know why I didn't give her the medication, 0:03:15.480 --> 0:03:18.000 but it's because she's little and she can't see out 0:03:18.000 --> 0:03:21.880 the window. It's hard. Yeah, well, brand never had the 0:03:21.960 --> 0:03:26.720 same level as her as consistently, but that's her thing. 0:03:26.760 --> 0:03:30.959 That's great, she's unique. She's made that choice. And so 0:03:31.639 --> 0:03:36.280 I was in on four heading up towards Hartford. There's 0:03:36.320 --> 0:03:39.080 a big carpool lane where you get off in this 0:03:39.160 --> 0:03:41.720 lane and it's like you can't get out of the 0:03:41.760 --> 0:03:45.000 carpool lane for like miles. So the second I go 0:03:45.080 --> 0:03:49.160 into this one pavement goes it feels sick, like, oh no, 0:03:49.360 --> 0:03:51.640 she goes, I'm gonna throw up. And I can see 0:03:51.880 --> 0:03:54.360 I don't know where this is about to happen. So 0:03:54.360 --> 0:03:58.000 I'm like, um, okay, hold on, And I opened up 0:03:58.320 --> 0:04:05.720 the middle arm compartment the console and inside is uh 0:04:06.920 --> 0:04:12.120 the secret stash of Beth's bag of combos that seemed 0:04:12.160 --> 0:04:14.840 to always be there. Well, probably because I've left them 0:04:14.840 --> 0:04:16.800 in there for five months or something. Is it the 0:04:16.839 --> 0:04:20.120 same bag every time? I don't know, Almost completely full, 0:04:20.160 --> 0:04:23.480 of this bag of combos but open and I that's 0:04:23.520 --> 0:04:26.400 all I have. And so I'm driving and I grabbed it. 0:04:26.440 --> 0:04:28.960 I go here, maybe it hold this throw up into 0:04:28.960 --> 0:04:33.880 this And a miracle occurred, which is she grabbed the bag, 0:04:34.680 --> 0:04:41.159 she looked inside. She barfed into the bag twice, and 0:04:41.200 --> 0:04:46.080 then went, they are you okay? Just I'm okay. She 0:04:46.160 --> 0:04:49.000 gave the bag back to me. I rolled it up. 0:04:49.640 --> 0:04:52.960 It didn't smell. I put it on the ground and 0:04:53.880 --> 0:04:56.880 we just kept driving. And then she was fine and 0:04:56.960 --> 0:04:59.320 I didn't pull over, and we made an incredible time, 0:04:59.640 --> 0:05:02.359 kept right well like it was a long time to 0:05:02.480 --> 0:05:04.680 get an exit. By time I got there, she was 0:05:05.160 --> 0:05:08.760 super happy and we were like twenty minutes away. Um, 0:05:08.800 --> 0:05:11.080 and I was like, wow, she just handled her own 0:05:11.160 --> 0:05:16.080 vomit and there's no mess anywhere. Can I tell you 0:05:16.160 --> 0:05:22.479 my Maven grown up story, which um, Saturday morning, she 0:05:22.680 --> 0:05:27.400 found this box. Someone got this for her for Christmas, 0:05:27.440 --> 0:05:33.080 this craft of yarn unicorns. Goddamn yarn unicorns made out 0:05:33.120 --> 0:05:35.280 of yarn. It's a craft. You have to make the 0:05:35.360 --> 0:05:39.080 unicorns by wrapping a bunch of yarn around piece of cardboard. 0:05:39.839 --> 0:05:43.919 And she found it somehow it had gotten down. She 0:05:44.000 --> 0:05:48.200 got the box, and then she came. She came into 0:05:48.200 --> 0:05:52.640 the bedroom with the box and a butter knife, and 0:05:52.720 --> 0:05:56.440 she cut open the tape that was holding the box shut, 0:05:57.160 --> 0:06:01.719 and then she pulled out all the yarn and unspooled 0:06:01.839 --> 0:06:03.920 all of the yarn. Yeah, and she laid it out 0:06:03.960 --> 0:06:07.479 all over the floor, and she kept being like, help 0:06:07.520 --> 0:06:10.800 me do these yarn unicorns. And I was again comatose 0:06:11.080 --> 0:06:17.080 and could not I could not move um. And eventually 0:06:17.120 --> 0:06:19.080 she got you to make the yarn. I came in. 0:06:19.160 --> 0:06:22.600 I saw that she was the most effort I did 0:06:22.680 --> 0:06:25.400 to keep her away from you. It's like, come on, 0:06:25.480 --> 0:06:28.240 let's do the yarn unicorn. By the way, you know, 0:06:28.360 --> 0:06:31.800 I'm sick and not nowhere close to where you are, 0:06:32.560 --> 0:06:35.320 so I don't want to do this yarn unicorn. But 0:06:35.320 --> 0:06:37.800 but I'm I am totally fine compared to what you're 0:06:37.800 --> 0:06:39.520 going through. It's like, oh, come on, let's do the 0:06:39.560 --> 0:06:45.720 yarn unicorn. This excuse my French. This fucking yarn unicorn 0:06:47.080 --> 0:06:52.279 was super hard and like there's no way Mavid could 0:06:52.320 --> 0:06:54.839 ever do. I'm sure it's for older kids. That's why 0:06:55.000 --> 0:06:57.560 it's February and I still have not attempted to make 0:06:57.839 --> 0:07:01.839 yarn unicorn. I mean, what age I didn't look. I 0:07:01.839 --> 0:07:05.479 could look at the box, but I had a tricky 0:07:05.480 --> 0:07:08.400 time with it. I don't think it was an age appropriate. 0:07:09.040 --> 0:07:12.800 I spent two hours on one of these yarn unicorns. 0:07:12.800 --> 0:07:17.120 But she did like it. I mean, she loves it. Um. 0:07:17.240 --> 0:07:19.920 But I was rushing in the beginning and I forgot 0:07:20.000 --> 0:07:21.520 one of the At the end, I realized I didn't 0:07:21.520 --> 0:07:23.320 put one of the pieces of cardboard in. So our 0:07:23.400 --> 0:07:28.040 yarn unicorn was a little skinnier than it normally normally 0:07:28.080 --> 0:07:30.840 should be. So every time I pull out, like they're 0:07:30.880 --> 0:07:33.720 like seven yards of this yarn, I'd measure all of it, 0:07:34.080 --> 0:07:35.880 and I keep getting to the end, and I'd be like, 0:07:35.920 --> 0:07:38.840 why do I have all this extra yarn? I like 0:07:38.960 --> 0:07:41.520 these moments where do you feel like a failure of 0:07:41.520 --> 0:07:46.000 a mom. The yarn unicorn is too skinny. It won't 0:07:46.040 --> 0:07:50.520 stand up. The adhesive strips are impossible. To get the 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:52.760 paper off of both sides. I had to get a 0:07:52.840 --> 0:07:58.640 pair of tweezers, a yard stick, some scissors. But boy, 0:07:58.840 --> 0:08:04.920 it's pretty beautiful yarn unicorn that's already falling apart instantly. Yeah, 0:08:05.200 --> 0:08:08.680 oh well, oh well, you're in unicorn you had fun 0:08:09.120 --> 0:08:12.480 with it for a while. I had fun with it. 0:08:12.480 --> 0:08:15.560 It's you know, it's like legos or I kea furniture. 0:08:15.760 --> 0:08:18.520 I love instructions. I love put any thing together. But 0:08:18.560 --> 0:08:21.160 the last forty five minutes where Maven was like can 0:08:21.200 --> 0:08:24.200 I put the horn on? And she can't. She wants 0:08:24.200 --> 0:08:26.800 to help, but there's nothing she can do to help. 0:08:27.880 --> 0:08:31.200 It's so complicated, and so I was just getting frantic 0:08:31.200 --> 0:08:33.720 trying to end it. And then I had to I 0:08:33.760 --> 0:08:36.480 had to braid the reins, and so I tried to 0:08:36.480 --> 0:08:39.920 have Maven I tied these three pieces together and not 0:08:40.080 --> 0:08:44.760 I go here, hold the end and then I'll braid it. Boy, 0:08:44.800 --> 0:08:47.800 she was really crap at that job. I was like 0:08:47.880 --> 0:08:51.320 holding pole, Paul. Did she get distracted? Not as old 0:08:51.320 --> 0:08:54.319 as we think. There's also I think it was yesterday. 0:08:54.679 --> 0:08:57.920 You're trying to get her. We were trying to get 0:08:57.960 --> 0:09:02.040 her to get dressed and kept wandering around and we're like, Maven, 0:09:02.120 --> 0:09:04.720 can you just go get dressed? And she's like okay, 0:09:04.840 --> 0:09:08.120 and then she just goes and starts playing. And there's 0:09:08.120 --> 0:09:10.800 a moment where you were like, Maven, do you know 0:09:10.840 --> 0:09:13.160 what I'm going to ask you to do? And she 0:09:13.240 --> 0:09:25.600 goes to get dressed, like, yes, sorry, sorry, what that's like, Gilly, 0:09:25.920 --> 0:09:32.000 She sounds like the sorry. Um, I can't believe. I mean, 0:09:32.040 --> 0:09:37.440 this is not a unique parenting complained, but the amount 0:09:37.559 --> 0:09:43.480 of times I now I have to say put on 0:09:43.520 --> 0:09:49.600 your shoes every single day is driving me insane. Put 0:09:49.600 --> 0:09:54.160 on your shoes, put on your shoes. I go, Britt, 0:09:54.200 --> 0:09:56.880 how many times have I said put on your shoes 0:09:57.280 --> 0:10:04.480 to no? Forty forty times? Oh, he had a bit 0:10:04.480 --> 0:10:05.800 of a freak out and I picked him up at 0:10:05.840 --> 0:10:11.120 his friend's house the other day. Um, that's that's that 0:10:11.200 --> 0:10:15.200 whole story. That's the whole story. It's not interesting. Yeah, 0:10:15.240 --> 0:10:20.520 he doesn't like to leave. I texted his friend's dad 0:10:20.640 --> 0:10:22.400 and I was like, please give my kids a twenty 0:10:22.440 --> 0:10:29.960 minute warning. It didn't help. No, of course, what can 0:10:29.960 --> 0:10:31.679 we talk about our neighbors? Next story that we don't 0:10:31.720 --> 0:10:37.360 really know what? What about them? I can't figure out 0:10:37.400 --> 0:10:44.320 who lives there? What. There's definitely a little kid that's there, right, 0:10:44.800 --> 0:10:49.680 but then there's also like at least two older kids. No, yeah, 0:10:49.679 --> 0:10:53.200 they're there right now. That's like their cousins. Well, they're 0:10:53.240 --> 0:10:56.520 they're a lot. They're there once a week on like 0:10:56.559 --> 0:10:59.960 a Sunday. But to whom do they belong? That's the cause. 0:11:00.040 --> 0:11:04.800 Since they're so loud, we moved in. They have one 0:11:05.160 --> 0:11:08.800 two year old child. He is so loud. I'm not complaining. 0:11:09.000 --> 0:11:11.960 I mean, he's not louder than our kids. Yes he is. 0:11:13.120 --> 0:11:14.640 You might be if you go back to the view 0:11:14.640 --> 0:11:16.559 of the podcast, you might have heard them all yelling 0:11:16.600 --> 0:11:20.880 at each other. You are underestimating the noise that our 0:11:20.960 --> 0:11:24.120 children make through the walls. Oh, I'm not saying our 0:11:24.200 --> 0:11:27.240 kids are not loud. Our kids are very loud. When 0:11:27.280 --> 0:11:30.560 I first met our neighbors, he the dad introduced me 0:11:30.600 --> 0:11:34.560 to the little kids. Apologize now, this one's very loud, 0:11:34.760 --> 0:11:36.520 and I was like, oh, I think we'll give you 0:11:36.559 --> 0:11:39.480 a run for your money. But since then I'm like, no, 0:11:39.600 --> 0:11:43.120 that guy was right, this two year oldest intense. I 0:11:43.120 --> 0:11:46.840 think we're just as loud over here. Should we have 0:11:46.960 --> 0:11:53.679 a competition? No, yeah, I don't. I don't know how 0:11:53.760 --> 0:11:58.319 you engage what that competition is? Can you hear him now? 0:12:00.360 --> 0:12:03.720 Speaking of competition? My so, our kids are with my 0:12:03.800 --> 0:12:07.199 parents and they were doing chalk drawings today on the 0:12:07.280 --> 0:12:10.920 driveway and they started drawing, you know, like stick figures 0:12:10.960 --> 0:12:14.920 and sons and then they had the biggest son competition 0:12:15.720 --> 0:12:21.160 where they just threw the biggest circle around the driveway 0:12:21.240 --> 0:12:25.040 and then Maven was trying to carefully put little lines 0:12:25.240 --> 0:12:27.720 on the outer edge all the way around. It looked 0:12:27.720 --> 0:12:32.480 like so painstaking. You know what this reminds me. I 0:12:32.559 --> 0:12:36.800 had an interesting parenting moment relating to drawing. So Brit 0:12:37.160 --> 0:12:42.480 is not he's very smart boy, he's he's he's ahead 0:12:42.480 --> 0:12:46.240 of the game and reading and math and all that um. 0:12:46.280 --> 0:12:51.199 But he's his hand eye coordination and his drawing is 0:12:52.040 --> 0:12:58.320 creative but not great, Like he can't drop inside the lines. Uh. 0:12:58.520 --> 0:13:00.040 He was doing this project where he needed to of 0:13:00.160 --> 0:13:03.520 like filling these circles and he can't even begin to 0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:07.800 do a circular motion to fill in the colors. And 0:13:07.880 --> 0:13:09.640 so he filled it in and it was all a mess. 0:13:09.679 --> 0:13:14.320 And he commented on it like he knows that about himself. 0:13:14.640 --> 0:13:18.200 He goes, I'm not very good at drawing. Didn't seem 0:13:18.440 --> 0:13:22.840 or of coloring, didn't seem that upset by it. But 0:13:22.880 --> 0:13:25.480 then I forget what happened to. Maven was there and 0:13:25.559 --> 0:13:28.560 Maven was like, I am I'm the best at drawing. 0:13:28.960 --> 0:13:32.360 I'm better than Bryn. Mommy, and I are better than Bryn, 0:13:33.760 --> 0:13:39.360 and you could see it's sort of it hurt Bryn's feelings. Um, 0:13:39.400 --> 0:13:42.440 I feel like kids at school have to have commented 0:13:42.800 --> 0:13:47.720 on his drawing because he colors things in so haphazardly, 0:13:48.440 --> 0:13:52.680 and like he's clearly rushing through his school work at school. 0:13:53.400 --> 0:13:55.280 He just scribbles all over it and then he's like 0:13:55.280 --> 0:13:59.360 the next page and he's told us they're like, we're 0:13:59.360 --> 0:14:02.280 talking about his best friend at school, and he was like, yeah, 0:14:02.280 --> 0:14:05.320 he's so funny and he does jokes, but like the 0:14:05.400 --> 0:14:09.920 other kids are like telling us not to do jokes 0:14:09.960 --> 0:14:13.120 and telling us to do our work, and and I 0:14:13.200 --> 0:14:16.040 was like, there's definitely other kids who have commented on 0:14:16.200 --> 0:14:21.080 Britain not focusing on what he's supposed to be doing. Yeah. Well, 0:14:21.520 --> 0:14:24.720 it's a funny thing because it's that fine line of 0:14:24.960 --> 0:14:29.000 between knowing that you're not as strong at something as 0:14:29.040 --> 0:14:35.520 something else and like knowing it and owning that identity 0:14:36.480 --> 0:14:39.240 suddenly makes it more true than maybe it needs to 0:14:39.280 --> 0:14:42.880 me needs to be because I remember I was at uh, 0:14:43.600 --> 0:14:47.880 not a strong reader, and I couldn't spell, and I 0:14:48.520 --> 0:14:51.800 have very strong memories of other kids noticing and like 0:14:51.920 --> 0:14:56.040 making fun of me and I wonder, I wonder what 0:14:56.080 --> 0:15:01.920 would be different if if I hadn't seen myself as that. Well, yeah, 0:15:02.040 --> 0:15:05.160 I think he's not actually bad at drawing. It's just 0:15:05.320 --> 0:15:07.520 they have a lot of assignments at school that's kind 0:15:07.560 --> 0:15:09.400 of like busy work where all the kids have to 0:15:09.440 --> 0:15:13.400 color in the same five pages. And I think that's 0:15:13.400 --> 0:15:17.240 where he's like, whatever, let me just get this done. Yeah, 0:15:17.320 --> 0:15:19.200 well there is I mean in pre k, you know 0:15:19.280 --> 0:15:22.400 he couldn't do he couldn't use the scissors. Well, he 0:15:22.480 --> 0:15:26.600 can't follow the line. There's something. And you know, Maven, 0:15:26.760 --> 0:15:29.840 I think it's it's not his greatest strength. She's better 0:15:29.880 --> 0:15:33.320 at throwing and catching in general. So there's a hand 0:15:33.320 --> 0:15:39.120 eye thing there. I'm not worried about it at all, Um, 0:15:39.160 --> 0:15:42.000 but it is that, you know, kids get cruel as 0:15:42.040 --> 0:15:48.440 they get older. Ah, this is what every parent worries 0:15:48.440 --> 0:15:54.160 about his teasing. It's you know, he's like, he's pretty 0:15:54.200 --> 0:16:00.760 resilient to teasing. I think, I mean, his confidences rock 0:16:00.840 --> 0:16:16.160 solid as a rock. Baby. And now it's time for 0:16:16.400 --> 0:16:22.960 we knows wins. This is where we discuss a parenting victory. Um, 0:16:23.000 --> 0:16:27.360 that's happened in our lives, Beth, Well, this is sort 0:16:27.360 --> 0:16:32.360 of a you win. But uh, do you remember this 0:16:32.440 --> 0:16:36.760 week when you acknowledged that you went to the grocery 0:16:36.800 --> 0:16:41.400 store and bought band aids and conditioner for the first 0:16:41.440 --> 0:16:48.560 time in maybe your entire life. Um, yep, yeah, Um. 0:16:49.600 --> 0:16:52.960 Explain why this is significant. Well, this is significant because 0:16:53.960 --> 0:16:56.960 historically these are the types of purchases where you'll turn 0:16:57.040 --> 0:17:00.440 to me and say, we need better band aids, we 0:17:00.480 --> 0:17:04.840 need more conditioner, or why don't we have conditioner, and 0:17:05.240 --> 0:17:08.760 you like, you actually do most of our grocery shopping 0:17:08.800 --> 0:17:13.000 at this point, but you love to do like a 0:17:13.119 --> 0:17:16.880 ninja strike type of grocery shopping, a surgical strike where 0:17:16.920 --> 0:17:20.520 you buy five items and come home. I don't want 0:17:20.560 --> 0:17:24.800 to throw anything away. Um, I've loosened that up. But 0:17:24.880 --> 0:17:31.040 the band aids in some ways felt like a real 0:17:31.160 --> 0:17:36.639 coming of age of dad age. I think because a 0:17:36.680 --> 0:17:40.560 long time ago we had I don't know if it 0:17:40.640 --> 0:17:46.080 was a big fight, but we had some hitty band aids. 0:17:46.400 --> 0:17:50.719 They're generic whatever band aids. And because I say everything 0:17:50.720 --> 0:17:56.000 I'm thinking out loud without really thinking, I put on 0:17:56.000 --> 0:17:58.080 one of these band aids and they were just sort 0:17:58.080 --> 0:18:00.000 of cheap, and I was like, well, I guess I'm 0:18:00.000 --> 0:18:02.760 crappy band aids. And of course, in your mind, you 0:18:02.800 --> 0:18:05.240 were the one that bought the band aids and so 0:18:05.600 --> 0:18:08.040 and I said, you've never bought band aids in your 0:18:08.160 --> 0:18:11.200 entire life. You don't get to complain about the band aids. 0:18:11.359 --> 0:18:13.479 It's not true. I have about band aids in my life. Well, 0:18:13.520 --> 0:18:17.800 now you have. I bought band aids in college. Maybe 0:18:17.960 --> 0:18:23.959 maybe really maybe one time. Every college male has a 0:18:24.000 --> 0:18:26.960 well stocked band aid supply, as we all know, probably 0:18:27.160 --> 0:18:31.240 bought a single, probably found a band aid. I'm thinking 0:18:31.240 --> 0:18:33.040 of the time I found a you're thinking of when 0:18:33.040 --> 0:18:37.240 you went into another dorm room where a female student 0:18:37.320 --> 0:18:39.280 lived and said, can I have a band aid? And 0:18:39.359 --> 0:18:44.000 she said, okay, you know what, I'm not gonna say 0:18:44.080 --> 0:18:49.000 that's never happened. Uh, And it turned into a big fight. 0:18:49.080 --> 0:18:53.480 I didn't understand it at all at the time, because 0:18:53.840 --> 0:18:57.760 in my mind, I wasn't criticizing you. I was just 0:18:57.960 --> 0:19:00.720 I was more like, wow, I didn't know band aids 0:19:00.760 --> 0:19:05.600 could be so shitty. And you got so mad at me. 0:19:05.680 --> 0:19:07.680 And I got so mad because I'm like, this isn't 0:19:07.680 --> 0:19:10.960 even about you. I'm just talking about this band aid 0:19:11.040 --> 0:19:13.760 and and you took it as a personal attack, and 0:19:14.560 --> 0:19:17.359 and I thought it was overblown and didn't understand that 0:19:17.440 --> 0:19:21.080 it's a larger thing, which is that like there's there's 0:19:21.119 --> 0:19:25.840 band aids here at all because it's something you thought about, uh, 0:19:25.880 --> 0:19:28.439 And there's a lot of things like that that you 0:19:28.480 --> 0:19:31.040 know in my life up to that point, I'm like, oh, 0:19:31.080 --> 0:19:35.120 I'll buy shampoo because it's been five days of not 0:19:35.200 --> 0:19:38.080 having any shampoo, and I'm like, I really need to 0:19:38.080 --> 0:19:43.639 solve this problem, uh, as opposed to now in my life, 0:19:44.280 --> 0:19:49.159 when I realized, oh, this shampoo is very low. Do 0:19:49.240 --> 0:19:53.320 we have any backups? And I look at it now, 0:19:53.359 --> 0:19:56.760 if I'm like there's one spare bottle, that's when it's 0:19:56.800 --> 0:20:00.159 time to buy new shampoo, and not when it's been 0:20:00.200 --> 0:20:04.240 absent for a week. And so I noticed we had 0:20:04.600 --> 0:20:07.280 one band aid left recently, and so I went to 0:20:07.320 --> 0:20:10.840 the store when I was there about a big, multi 0:20:10.880 --> 0:20:15.920 sized box of band Aid brand band aids. And I 0:20:15.960 --> 0:20:19.280 didn't think it was a big deal, but your reaction 0:20:19.359 --> 0:20:25.560 to it, um made me feel good. Well, no, you've 0:20:25.600 --> 0:20:27.960 announced it like it was a big deal. And you 0:20:28.040 --> 0:20:34.480 were like, do you know I bought shampoo? Um, well 0:20:34.600 --> 0:20:36.400 I didn't. I'm not the one who brought it up 0:20:36.440 --> 0:20:38.359 like it was a big deal. It was. It was 0:20:38.600 --> 0:20:40.400 what wasn't what we were talking about. We were talking 0:20:40.400 --> 0:20:48.439 about you were talking about the kids shampoo. What I 0:20:48.520 --> 0:20:52.480 refilled the kids shampoo? Okay, I told maybe I was bragging. 0:20:53.840 --> 0:20:57.920 I'll tell you though, when when you had a positive 0:20:57.960 --> 0:21:03.080 reaction to it, um, alarm bells went off in my head, 0:21:03.880 --> 0:21:10.200 which were the Peter, do not celebrate yourself for doing 0:21:10.240 --> 0:21:15.040 the what is in no way an above and beyond thing, 0:21:15.440 --> 0:21:18.359 which is to get band aids because we need band aids. 0:21:19.600 --> 0:21:22.840 Um So I was very mindful not to congratulate myself. 0:21:24.680 --> 0:21:27.639 But um it looks like I didn't. I didn't succeed 0:21:27.720 --> 0:21:34.200 in that. Like anyway, it was sort of a win. 0:21:37.280 --> 0:21:39.320 I didn't. I didn't know the wind was going to be. 0:21:41.920 --> 0:21:44.399 I'm so torn right now because the wind is. I 0:21:44.520 --> 0:21:48.119 take it one of two ways. One the win is 0:21:48.680 --> 0:21:53.600 Beth is pleased with her husband. The negative side is 0:21:53.640 --> 0:21:57.359 like Beth is pleased that she's trained her man to 0:21:57.480 --> 0:22:02.120 be a responsible adult, like it no longer the animal 0:22:02.200 --> 0:22:07.160 he once was. I was pleased, and I then you 0:22:07.240 --> 0:22:13.880 started changing the story of what happened, and then it anyway, 0:22:14.200 --> 0:22:17.080 how do I change this story. I don't want to 0:22:17.080 --> 0:22:22.600 relive it. No one wants to relive what we just discussed, Beth. 0:22:22.680 --> 0:22:25.640 I just want to say that I'm am very pleased 0:22:25.680 --> 0:22:30.760 with our relationship right now. I feel like, Ah, I 0:22:30.800 --> 0:22:34.919 feel like we're communicating better than we ever have. Do 0:22:35.000 --> 0:22:39.280 you agree that's true? Oh, that reminds me of another win, 0:22:39.760 --> 0:22:44.040 which is that we had a date night. Oh my gosh, Yes, 0:22:44.160 --> 0:22:48.600 Valentine's we had it. Although that is unfortunately the start 0:22:48.680 --> 0:22:52.280 of my slide into extreme illness. It's like I was 0:22:52.280 --> 0:22:58.520 getting sick and I was like, on a normal healthy occasion, 0:22:58.840 --> 0:23:02.120 I would stay inside tonight while I feel sick, But 0:23:02.200 --> 0:23:05.280 because it's such a rare opportunity, I'm going to go 0:23:05.320 --> 0:23:10.520 out and have two drinks and then my body completely 0:23:10.800 --> 0:23:13.160 revolted on me. But anyway, we had a really great 0:23:13.200 --> 0:23:20.760 dinner night out. Um and we it was nice to 0:23:21.080 --> 0:23:24.520 be alone, the two of us and talk in a 0:23:24.520 --> 0:23:31.440 way where we're not talking to an audience. Um and yeah. 0:23:31.800 --> 0:23:35.680 And I don't want to get into it, but even 0:23:35.680 --> 0:23:38.480 the point we even talked about politics in a very 0:23:38.560 --> 0:23:44.240 civil way. We even talked civilly about politics. Um, it 0:23:44.359 --> 0:23:48.879 was great. There is something insanely weird about this podcast, 0:23:48.920 --> 0:23:54.040 which we've joked jokingly and not jokingly described as our therapy, 0:23:54.880 --> 0:23:57.040 because we do have to talk about our relationship and 0:23:57.040 --> 0:24:00.200 our kids and our lives, knowing that their styles of 0:24:00.280 --> 0:24:02.720 people listening. So we have to be on our best behavior, 0:24:02.840 --> 0:24:08.639 which has been super productive, and I've started giving friends advice. 0:24:08.720 --> 0:24:12.879 I was like, don't. I was like, well, maybe it 0:24:12.880 --> 0:24:17.080 doesn't matter if anyone listens to it, but do the equivalent, 0:24:17.160 --> 0:24:22.760 which is pick an hour a week where you're have 0:24:22.960 --> 0:24:28.080 to be five ft away from five that's the exact 0:24:28.119 --> 0:24:29.879 distance you have to be five feet away. You should 0:24:29.880 --> 0:24:34.000 have a microphone and sound muffling equipment in front of 0:24:34.000 --> 0:24:36.119 your face so you can barely see each other. I 0:24:36.160 --> 0:24:39.159 can't see you at all, Um, I can see the 0:24:39.200 --> 0:24:42.720 top of your head. Oh yeah, that's charting why it 0:24:42.720 --> 0:24:47.560 works for me, Um, But for say that you have 0:24:47.680 --> 0:24:50.600 to be together for an hour and you without looking 0:24:50.640 --> 0:24:52.760 at your phones or a movie and talk to each 0:24:52.760 --> 0:24:57.280 other and uh boy, I know more about you as 0:24:57.320 --> 0:25:00.399 a result. But it was suddenly interesting to you know, 0:25:00.560 --> 0:25:04.440 have time away from the show, what we can tell 0:25:04.480 --> 0:25:06.800 all of our real secrets that we don't talk about here, 0:25:07.200 --> 0:25:12.639 of our real deep dark secrets right in to guess 0:25:12.680 --> 0:25:15.360 what our deep dark secrets are or tell us your 0:25:15.520 --> 0:25:22.480 deep dark secrets. Yeah, tell us something weird about you. Um, 0:25:22.520 --> 0:25:26.000 here's a question. What would you not share on a podcast? 0:25:28.280 --> 0:25:31.359 What I don't know who I'm talking to, to whom 0:25:31.359 --> 0:25:34.760 I'm speaking There's a few things we don't talk about here, 0:25:34.840 --> 0:25:38.359 but mostly we're pretty honest. Boy. This is a great segment. 0:25:38.400 --> 0:25:41.000 This is a segment where we let's talk about refer 0:25:41.080 --> 0:25:42.600 to the things that we're not going to talk about. 0:25:46.359 --> 0:26:01.400 Is this good content? Yeah? This is great. This next 0:26:01.440 --> 0:26:04.320 segment is called Listeners Want to Know. So that's where 0:26:04.320 --> 0:26:07.920 we take questions and comments from you guys. Oh right, 0:26:08.240 --> 0:26:13.679 all right. First, UM, a quick fun one. Ah. This 0:26:13.720 --> 0:26:17.800 one comes to us from Jade. There's no manual dot 0:26:17.800 --> 0:26:22.600 dot dot Indonesia. Hello. I'm in my late twenties and 0:26:22.640 --> 0:26:25.199 have no children yet. I have loved listening to your 0:26:25.200 --> 0:26:28.440 podcast since near its beginning. I just had to write 0:26:28.440 --> 0:26:31.200 to tell you I'm currently seven months into a one 0:26:31.320 --> 0:26:34.679 year trip with my partner. We are in Indonesia walking 0:26:34.680 --> 0:26:38.280 through Java airport awaiting our next flight. Much to my 0:26:38.359 --> 0:26:43.160 partner's bewilderment and then embarrassment, I shrieked and hurtled myself 0:26:43.240 --> 0:26:47.320 toward the bookshop, coming in at high speed, arms flayling, 0:26:47.440 --> 0:26:51.359 I collided with the books and several went flying. Embarrassed, 0:26:51.400 --> 0:26:55.119 I apologized, yet still brimming with excitement. I held up 0:26:55.200 --> 0:27:00.000 your book, Beth. There's no manual, turning to my partner, 0:27:00.000 --> 0:27:05.120 are grinning, exclaimed, it's my podcast. We have one bag 0:27:05.160 --> 0:27:07.840 each for the entirety of the trip, and your book 0:27:07.920 --> 0:27:10.600 is now in mind along for the ride. Thanks for 0:27:10.720 --> 0:27:14.960 what you do, Jade. It's not a small book. That's great, 0:27:15.200 --> 0:27:19.720 that's so sweet. I love that the book is in 0:27:19.720 --> 0:27:25.160 Indonesian airport. It's exciting. It's in a lot of places. Yeah, 0:27:25.640 --> 0:27:29.600 people have been sending pictures from bookstores where the book 0:27:29.800 --> 0:27:34.080 is facing out, which, um, if you haven't written a book, 0:27:34.840 --> 0:27:37.560