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Speaker 1: My boyfriend's X isn't over him. He's dating me for now,

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Speaker 1: but his ex is still trying to steal him from me.

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Speaker 1: Don't let him, don't let him, don't let him, or

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Speaker 1: just move on to a completely different centeria. I am

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Speaker 1: twenty one female, my boyfriend twenty four male as an

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Speaker 1: ex who will call River twenty two male. For the

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Speaker 1: sake of simplicity, we'll just call my boyfriend Bee. Anyways,

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Speaker 1: his relationship with his ex was complicated and extremely unpleasant.

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Speaker 1: I feel like for context as to why I'm upset

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Speaker 1: about this, it would be helpful for me to describe

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Speaker 1: just how bad the relationship was. And by the way,

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Speaker 1: this comes from u slash ht begac free on r

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Speaker 1: slash okay storytime subreddit. Starting in high school, my boyfriend

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Speaker 1: began to develop the idea that he was ugly all

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Speaker 1: he has a tooth gap and kids would make fun

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Speaker 1: of him for it. By the time he got to college,

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Speaker 1: he was completely torn down, confidence wise, and genuinely believed

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Speaker 1: he would never find love.

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Speaker 2: Sad.

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Speaker 1: That's sad. One of his friends, River, who at the

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Speaker 1: time was woman, asked him out. He figured why not

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Speaker 1: because they were close friends. He soon realized he didn't

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Speaker 1: like them, but by that point River had become awful

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Speaker 1: to him.

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Speaker 2: Somebody was like, man, okay, sure, yeah, what he likes

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Speaker 2: me and that's a good thing. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: They wouldn't allow him to watch movies or listen to

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Speaker 1: music he liked, and tried to make him only interested

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Speaker 1: in media they were interested in. One thing about my

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Speaker 1: boyfriend is that he loves playing guitar and writing songs. Ay,

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Speaker 1: every time he tried to play the guitar or show

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Speaker 1: them new songs he had written, River would tell them

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Speaker 1: that it sounded bad and they didn't want to hear

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Speaker 1: and that he should just stop.

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Speaker 2: That's so rude.

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Speaker 1: That's awful. Oh my god, that's awful.

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Speaker 2: I can't imagine saying that. To say that somebody, like

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Speaker 2: if I was like reading them a poem or like

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Speaker 2: something that I wrote, and they were.

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Speaker 1: Like, that kind of sucks really bad. You shouldn't do

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Speaker 1: that again.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, don't you should. You should go into another career.

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Speaker 1: So, even though my boyfriend realized that he didn't like River,

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Speaker 1: he was beaten down and stayed. River also made him

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Speaker 1: feel bad about himself and like he would never find

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Speaker 1: anyone else. About two weeks into their relationship, River said

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Speaker 1: I love you, and BF thanked him and said he

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Speaker 1: cares deeply about them, he's not ready to say I

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Speaker 1: love you yet. And River lost it.

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Speaker 2: Two weeks into the relationship.

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Speaker 1: Weeks that's crazy, very early. Apparently they started getting really angry.

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Speaker 1: I know they didn't attack him. I believe they threw things.

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Speaker 1: I do know that they started screaming loud enough for

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Speaker 1: other people to hear and think they were being hurt

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Speaker 1: in some way. They threw themselves on the ground like

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Speaker 1: a toddler and grabbed his arms to make him stay.

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Speaker 1: He started having a panic attack, and so to get

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Speaker 1: it to stop, he said he loved them too.

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Speaker 2: River sounds awful, genuinely awful. Yeah, why would you want

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Speaker 2: your partner to be like like what, That's not how

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Speaker 2: you That's not how you do it.

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Speaker 1: That's not how you do it this relationship thing.

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Speaker 2: But I don't think that's how you do it.

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Speaker 1: You put him down and Okay, don't do that. What hey, guys,

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Speaker 1: what not to do? Don't do it?

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Speaker 2: Don't don't do it, guys, don't tell your partner that

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Speaker 2: you need to do it.

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Speaker 1: Don't do it. A few weeks later, my boyfriend's family

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Speaker 1: visited and met boyfriend in River for dinner. Right away,

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Speaker 1: River made it very obvious that they didn't like his family,

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Speaker 1: incredibly rude. They swore at his parents and was super

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Speaker 1: rude to his little brother. Was middle school or early

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Speaker 1: high school at the time. I had a boyfriend who

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Speaker 1: did this at one point, and my therapist warned me

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Speaker 1: that he may have been trying to slowly drive a

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Speaker 1: wedge between me and my family. So it's possible this

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Speaker 1: is what River was doing.

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Speaker 2: I think he's trying to isolate, Oh he's boyfriend from.

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Speaker 1: Every manipulate him and do whatever you want. River wanted

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Speaker 1: boyfriend to stay overnight at their place, but boyfriend physically couldn't.

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Speaker 2: River.

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Speaker 1: It went five to seven days in between showers.

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Speaker 2: It sounds like they're depressed. Yeah, it sounds like they're

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Speaker 2: going through a lot. And then they're putting that all

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Speaker 2: on Op's boyfriend projection. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Wow, left moldy food in their bedroom and often had

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Speaker 1: straight cheetos and chips in their beds.

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Speaker 2: Oh and this is in Is this in the boy's

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Speaker 2: boyfriend's place?

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Speaker 1: I don't know, or is this show?

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Speaker 2: Oh yeah, maybe they're so River and the boy Opie's

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Speaker 2: boyfriend were dating in college.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Something I should add at this point is that

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Speaker 1: this is not stuff I've heard from my boyfriend. The

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Speaker 1: ex's friends confirmed it, and you can see the photos

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Speaker 1: that they were very dirty and greasy all the time. Gotcha. Anyways,

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Speaker 1: River at some point realized that they were trans They

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Speaker 1: announced to everyone that they were going by He him

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Speaker 1: they them pronouns. Now, my boyfriend is straight, and so

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Speaker 1: he sat them down a few days later and explained

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Speaker 1: that they could absolutely be friends, but now that River

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Speaker 1: identified as a man, he couldn't be with them. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: which is fair.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Rivers seemed to take this well. Obviously they were upset,

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Speaker 1: but they acted pretty good. He word acted. Unfortunately. Boyfriend

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Speaker 1: and River were already living together yikes, luckily in separate

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Speaker 1: bedrooms during college for aforementioned reasons with a few other roommates. Gotcha.

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Speaker 1: So they have like a house or apartment something. Over

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Speaker 1: the course of the next few months, they started yelling

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Speaker 1: at BF constantly saying that he does still love them,

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Speaker 1: and that now he really loves them, and they're a

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Speaker 1: man now he's gay.

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Speaker 2: Just gas lighting, just gas lighting. Crazy, It's like, you

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Speaker 2: have to love me. I know I have manipulated you

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Speaker 2: into loving me in the first place, but you have

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Speaker 2: to keep loving me.

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Speaker 1: You love me and you're gay now I decide crazy.

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Speaker 1: They would honestly say, you're just confused right now, but

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Speaker 1: you're gay. I know you want to stay with me

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Speaker 1: wild That's not how you that's not how you do it.

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Speaker 1: That's not how you do it, that's not actually how

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Speaker 1: it works. Boyfriend started to get pretty depressed and doubt himself.

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Speaker 1: Understand to believe, do.

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Speaker 2: You have this person who lives with you saying.

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Speaker 1: All this stuff to make things worse. They were rooming

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Speaker 1: with other people from the queer club that River was

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Speaker 1: a part of, so they started piling on the gas lighting,

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Speaker 1: telling him the same things. What are these people anyways?

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Speaker 1: Their friends recognize what was happening and stood with boyfriend.

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Speaker 1: Boyfriend graduates, meets me, et cetera. During this time, I

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Speaker 1: had heard that River still loved and deeply regretted letting

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Speaker 1: boyfriend go, and that their mom even scolded them for it.

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Speaker 2: What seems like it, they're not. They don't love Opie's boyfriend.

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Speaker 2: They're just obsessed with them or just need to control somebody.

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Speaker 2: And this happened to be the person in the vicinity.

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Speaker 2: A few months ago, I got a request on Instagram

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Speaker 2: that I didn't recognize, but I saw they were friends

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Speaker 2: with my boyfriend's friends, so I figured it was just

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Speaker 2: someone I hadn't met yet. I accepted it, and it

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Speaker 2: was River. I requested to fall back because I was curious,

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Speaker 2: and when I did, their account had only a few

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Speaker 2: photos on it, but most of it was photos of

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Speaker 2: my boyfriend. I felt super weird and uncomfortable, especially because

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Speaker 2: I know for a fact that River had another boyfriend

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Speaker 2: after my boyfriend, although I was told by a few

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Speaker 2: people they only dated that guy to try and upset boyfriend,

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Speaker 2: this being supported by the fact that boyfriend was graduating.

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Speaker 1: They dumped the other guy. As I was looking at

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Speaker 1: these photos on River's page with a sick feeling in

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Speaker 1: my stomach, they started vanishing. River had seen who I

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Speaker 1: was and was frantically trying to take the photos.

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Speaker 2: Oh wait, wait, you but you saw the friend request River? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: River tried to follow. I don't understand. River's like, ooh, person,

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Speaker 2: I can follow, and then was like, wait, oh no,

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Speaker 2: there's you know, there's another This is my my ex's

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Speaker 2: new partner.

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Speaker 1: My bud whoops or just wants to make them. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't understand the deleting thing, m M. Anyway, you

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Speaker 1: know it won't get deleted our profile the stream and

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Speaker 1: you can tap it three pm PST and tune in

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Speaker 1: every weekday. I told my boyfriend about this, and he

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Speaker 1: said that he didn't want to bring this up because

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Speaker 1: he just ignored them. But River had tried to reach

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Speaker 1: out after boyfriend had been dating me for a couple

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Speaker 1: months by sending him memes, even though it was very

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Speaker 1: well known at this point that him and I were dating.

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Speaker 1: My boyfriend posted a video on TikTok a little bit

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Speaker 1: ago and I commented I love you, and River unfollowed him.

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Speaker 1: But TikTok shows you who's viewing your profile. That is crazy.

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Speaker 1: River must not realize this, and we can see that

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Speaker 1: they're still viewing his stuff. Boyfriend just block River, But

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Speaker 1: I'm so freaked out that they still seem to be

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Speaker 1: fixated on or at least interested in boyfriend both because

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Speaker 1: he's with me and River should respect that. But even

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Speaker 1: if he's single, they were so horrible to him. They

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Speaker 1: shouldn't be allowed to be in the same city as him.

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Speaker 1: How can I call my nerves about this.

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Speaker 2: I think you guys both need to block River on

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Speaker 2: like all platforms.

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Speaker 1: Yep.

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Speaker 2: I think that's the only solution here. I think he

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Speaker 2: is like, uh Op's boyfriend is right that he shouldn't

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Speaker 2: reach out about this. Who shouldn't try to tell her

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Speaker 2: to tell like his ope to you know, reach out

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Speaker 2: to River or anything. They should just go no contact

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Speaker 2: with him contact. They don't need to. They don't need

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Speaker 2: to start anything up with River because River seems kind

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Speaker 2: of crazy crazy.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, And like the unfortunate nature of TikTok is that

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Speaker 1: River could probably make a burner account probably if their

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Speaker 1: stuff is public. Yeah, but then you just don't have

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Speaker 1: to have it be public. Yeah.

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Speaker 2: Either either you can go private on your TikTok or

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Speaker 2: if you don't, you know, if you're posting things for

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Speaker 2: the public, then you're posting it for the public.

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Speaker 1: But as long as they can't contact you and do weird.

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Speaker 2: Things, that is the main thing you need to watch

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Speaker 2: it for. I broke up with my partner of nineteen years,

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Speaker 2: but now he thinks I owe him seventy three thousand dollars.

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Speaker 2: I forty two female broke it off with my partner

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Speaker 2: forty two mail after nineteen years of being a couple

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Speaker 2: this week. There were a number of problems that we

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Speaker 2: couldn't resolved, and a long history of it being partially

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Speaker 2: both our faults on most things. We never officially married ever,

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Speaker 2: and our state has no common law. We had some

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Speaker 2: shared resources and credit cards seventy k in debt total

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Speaker 2: twenty two k directly in his name and forty eight

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Speaker 2: k directly in mine. We share a car loan together

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Speaker 2: with both names on it and registration paid sixteen K

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Speaker 2: twenty eight K left. Finally, we share a bank account

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Speaker 2: with about six K in it, tied to a three

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Speaker 2: hundred and forty K mortgage solely in my name. It

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Speaker 2: sounds like their finances are very tied together, which makes

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Speaker 2: it hard. I mean, after nine years, even if you

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Speaker 2: don't have a common law marriage or you know, leagally married,

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Speaker 2: you're gonna get a little bit mixed together to twine

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Speaker 2: find By the way, this comes from lamydia on the ars.

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Speaker 3: I'm sorry.

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Speaker 2: I was like, yo, what it comes from? Chlamydia? With

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Speaker 2: a K. The other resources and contention are about seven

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Speaker 2: thousand dollars in mechanics tools I bought him for college

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Speaker 2: and about three thousand dollars in personal electronics. I also

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Speaker 2: bought for him ten k and value together, as well

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Speaker 2: as about seven thousand dollars in tattoos on his skin.

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Speaker 2: I've paid for this year. You're paid for a lot here, Damn.

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Speaker 2: During this nineteen years together, I was the sole financial

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Speaker 2: income the entire time, until literally one month ago when

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Speaker 2: he finally got employment and started to contribute for the

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Speaker 2: first time.

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Speaker 1: Do they have kids, No.

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Speaker 2: No kids, But they've been together for nineteen years and

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Speaker 2: their finances are super intertwined.

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Speaker 1: And so I don't know what happens next. But how

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Speaker 1: you going to say you owe me.

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Speaker 2: Everything? That's pretty ridiculous. And also I don't think you're

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Speaker 2: legally entitled to it if there's no common law.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it no longer is a wei. It's a me.

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Speaker 2: It's a me, me against you. He made about a

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Speaker 2: fifth of my salary as a minimum wage worker during

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Speaker 2: this time. For all of these years, he has functioned

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Speaker 2: as a caretaker for me emotionally and physically in terms

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Speaker 2: of handling everything I never wanted to do, like errands, chores, yardwork, cooking, shopping,

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Speaker 2: et cetera. During these years, I psychologically emotionally mistreated him

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Speaker 2: as a butler servant. That's not good due to not

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Speaker 2: being on proper medication.

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Speaker 1: Okay, I would like to rescind my previous statement.

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Speaker 2: Now might need to be financial conversation. Room cut, wipe

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Speaker 2: the floors, get on your hands and knees, scrub it

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Speaker 2: with your toothbrushes. I figured if I paid for everything

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Speaker 2: and he took care of everything that wasn't that was

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Speaker 2: an income, that it was fair enough. It wasn't right

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Speaker 2: to mistreat him as a servant that I verbally abused.

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Speaker 2: But I also had a medical condition in my head

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Speaker 2: preventing me from thinking clearly until about five years ago

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Speaker 2: when I got proper medication, at which point I started

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Speaker 2: treating him as an equal.

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Speaker 1: Okay, So I want to believe people change. I want

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Speaker 1: to trust that that's a real thing, that this person had.

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Speaker 1: What medication, what sort of disorder leads you to Okay, narcissis.

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Speaker 2: I don't know.

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Speaker 1: You can get meds for narcissism. I don't know needs

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Speaker 1: you to treat somebody like a butler. It's called generally

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Speaker 1: you are sorry.

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Speaker 2: I'm better than you. I think, I think probably there's

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Speaker 2: something along the lines of like disorder. I don't know,

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Speaker 2: doesn't excuse it, but at least so if he got med,

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Speaker 2: I guess the question is does opo their partner financial compensation.

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Speaker 1: That's what we will find out.

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Speaker 2: Now as we face the end of our relationship. Diagnostically,

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Speaker 2: this is due to ME lying dim a lot, and

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Speaker 2: on his end, he is a textbook case of vulnerable narcissism.

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Speaker 2: These son, I don't think it's true. He does. He

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Speaker 2: is vulnerable narcisism and op is lies a lot.

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Speaker 1: Okay.

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Speaker 2: He is demanding finances so he can start over in

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Speaker 2: his life, given that he doesn't really own anything that

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Speaker 2: I didn't buy. Right now, he's asking for the tools,

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Speaker 2: the tattoo coverage, the electronics seventeen K, asking for me

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Speaker 2: to pay off the credit card in his name, twenty

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Speaker 2: two K of shared household expenses WHOA. He wants about

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Speaker 2: six K in cash, and he wants the twenty eight

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Speaker 2: K car as well, of which he promised to pay

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Speaker 2: me back for someday. But I have no faith he

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Speaker 2: ever would, because in his eyes, as I have a

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Speaker 2: middle management job that pays six figures, these costs all

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Speaker 2: seem perfectly reasonable for me to replace the loss of

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Speaker 2: seven three thousand dollars of assets. I have about fifty

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Speaker 2: K in assets in a private account of my own

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Speaker 2: for savings, because it's a smaller blow to me as

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Speaker 2: a high earner, and he wouldn't have the job history

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Speaker 2: slash finances to deal with a twenty two K credit card,

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Speaker 2: let alone buying a car so he can go to work,

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Speaker 2: and he will need the tools and equipment as well

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Speaker 2: because job stuff. I suppose giving him everything would mean

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Speaker 2: I'd wipe out my life savings and have to take

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Speaker 2: on twenty two K and new debt to replace the

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Speaker 2: car he wants. He believes because I have one hundred

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Speaker 2: K of a four toh one K retirement account, I

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Speaker 2: can dip into that this shouldn't be a big deal

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Speaker 2: for me. Pause. No, I don't think you should give

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Speaker 2: him this money. Doesn't excuse your behavior.

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Speaker 1: Such a weird relationship.

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Speaker 2: Very weird, like they're both at fault in different ways.

305
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Speaker 2: But he's like, I want all of your money now.

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Speaker 1: I feel like this is like a drama. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: like this doesn't seem realch I understand that he feels

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Speaker 1: like it's going to be really hard for him to

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Speaker 1: get out in the world. And support himself, like right

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Speaker 1: off the bat, and that's fair. It's like, yeah, you've

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Speaker 1: had this job for the past twenty years. Yeah, and

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Speaker 1: I'm going to have not had a job making more money,

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Speaker 1: like I've been here supporting you in the house. Like, however,

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Speaker 1: you want to call the split blah blah blah blah blah. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it is going to be hard for me to get

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Speaker 1: a job just because you have a gap in your start. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: Like what were we doing for the last twenty years? Oh,

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Speaker 1: I was a butler, butler for my partner significant other.

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Speaker 1: Yeah you know, you know we weren't married, no, no proof,

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Speaker 1: but that's what I was doing, I promise.

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Speaker 2: Cleaning experience.

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Speaker 1: Yes, so I do understand that, Yes, like in an

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Speaker 1: actual divorce that there would be a lot about it.

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Speaker 1: Like imagine, flip the script. It's a guy, it's a girl.

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Speaker 1: The guy made the money for a long time, they

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Speaker 1: get divorced after twenty years, the girl usually gets to

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Speaker 1: be entitled to a certain like entitled to a lot

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Speaker 1: to like start her own life. Absolutely, so flipping the script,

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Speaker 1: it makes sense. Yeah, However, legally, legally he's not entitled

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Speaker 1: to any title. But what I do think should probably

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Speaker 1: happen is some sort of time period.

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Speaker 2: I always going to agree. Will you can stay here?

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Speaker 1: You can stay here while you actively get your life together. Yeah,

334
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:30,320
Speaker 1: you have a year, or you have months or something

335
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Speaker 1: like that. A couple of months, yeah, months after twenty

336
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Speaker 1: years and not working and supporting this person.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think there is a fair amount that he

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00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:42,719
Speaker 2: could ask for in terms of support. But asking for

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00:17:42,760 --> 00:17:44,399
Speaker 2: her to pay for a new car for her to

340
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Speaker 2: pay for his future tattoos, it seems like because she's

341
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:51,560
Speaker 2: already paid for the otherwise, it's pretty pretty ridiculous. I

342
00:17:51,600 --> 00:17:54,640
Speaker 2: would say he wants me to surrender all those assets

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Speaker 2: to him before he willingly leaves the house and returns

344
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Speaker 2: home to a family who already off to take him

345
00:18:00,640 --> 00:18:03,560
Speaker 2: in rent free. If I do that, he will willingly

346
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:07,760
Speaker 2: sign any forms to disconnect our assets. We share a

347
00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,399
Speaker 2: name on which again is the car he wants in

348
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:12,800
Speaker 2: the credit card he doesn't want that strictly benefits him.

349
00:18:13,400 --> 00:18:16,040
Speaker 2: I offered to make to maybe buy him a cheaper

350
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Speaker 2: car that isn't quite so much money, but he wasn't interested.

351
00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:21,520
Speaker 2: And I had planned on selling the tools to recoup

352
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:25,160
Speaker 2: financial losses, but he wants them since I bought them

353
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Speaker 2: for him when he went to college. After I broke

354
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:31,000
Speaker 2: it off earlier this week, he got very hurt and

355
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,960
Speaker 2: angry with me for stringing us along for the past

356
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:37,960
Speaker 2: year by lying vulnerable narcissm flirt up. He also felt

357
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,040
Speaker 2: very insulted that I made an offer to give him

358
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Speaker 2: six thousand dollars. Oh my god. So I feel like

359
00:18:43,800 --> 00:18:46,000
Speaker 2: that's a lot, a lot to give someone you're breaking

360
00:18:46,080 --> 00:18:48,359
Speaker 2: up with. If he would willingly get on the plane

361
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:51,399
Speaker 2: home by Friday, he now wants to interrogate me for

362
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:54,879
Speaker 2: the truth in person so he understands what went wrong.

363
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,000
Speaker 2: I don't feel safe around him due to his anger

364
00:18:57,040 --> 00:19:00,399
Speaker 2: issues and temper transtrums where he smashes possessions.

365
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:02,160
Speaker 1: And upset concerning That's tough.

366
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,639
Speaker 2: So I am coming home early to dodge him from

367
00:19:04,680 --> 00:19:07,119
Speaker 2: picking me up at the airport for safety reasons right

368
00:19:07,160 --> 00:19:10,679
Speaker 2: now and moving him with friends until he leaves. He

369
00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:13,280
Speaker 2: has control of the house, car, and all of our

370
00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:16,560
Speaker 2: possessions inside. There's about seventy k and personal possessions of

371
00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:19,399
Speaker 2: mine in the home that I can't really retrieve or

372
00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:22,159
Speaker 2: move to a safe location where he can't smash them,

373
00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:24,800
Speaker 2: and I don't feel comfortable entering the home while he's there.

374
00:19:25,119 --> 00:19:26,960
Speaker 2: I don't want to remain friends with him after this.

375
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:30,040
Speaker 2: Why would you doesn't make sense. I want him to

376
00:19:30,040 --> 00:19:32,240
Speaker 2: get on the plane back to his family and get

377
00:19:32,400 --> 00:19:35,840
Speaker 2: out of my life. I'm considering filing for protective order,

378
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,800
Speaker 2: even though it's kind of over the top in terms

379
00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:40,159
Speaker 2: of how stable he's been acting to try it to

380
00:19:40,320 --> 00:19:44,000
Speaker 2: isolate me for his interrogation in the interest of making

381
00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:47,240
Speaker 2: it seem reasonable, he wants his friend present to oversee

382
00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:50,879
Speaker 2: the discussion between us, someone I am not mutual friends

383
00:19:50,880 --> 00:19:53,280
Speaker 2: with and don't know. He said I should bring someone

384
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:55,760
Speaker 2: as well, though the only person I'd have available to

385
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:58,080
Speaker 2: attend at that time is someone he and his friend

386
00:19:58,440 --> 00:20:02,000
Speaker 2: both deeply hate. The two of them are physically much

387
00:20:02,119 --> 00:20:04,240
Speaker 2: larger than us, and while he's never laid a hand

388
00:20:04,240 --> 00:20:08,080
Speaker 2: on me physically, he frequently smashes objects when he's angry enough. So,

389
00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:09,919
Speaker 2: by the way, you can join his live on YouTube

390
00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:14,880
Speaker 2: every weekday three pmpsd stappofa. I know this is getting long,

391
00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:17,840
Speaker 2: so I might realize I need to add more context later,

392
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,760
Speaker 2: but I wanted to give a sense of things. Do

393
00:20:19,960 --> 00:20:21,840
Speaker 2: I just give him everything to make him go away?

394
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:24,360
Speaker 2: Do I hire a lawyer to get involved to keep

395
00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:27,119
Speaker 2: my assets. Do I need to involve the police to

396
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,720
Speaker 2: force him out? Do I subject myself to a phone

397
00:20:29,760 --> 00:20:32,240
Speaker 2: interrogation in the interest of trying to meet him halfway?

398
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:34,320
Speaker 2: And those are the questions that op he's asking, But

399
00:20:34,359 --> 00:20:36,720
Speaker 2: that is the end of the story. What do you say?

400
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:38,439
Speaker 1: What's your answer? Phone idea?

401
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,760
Speaker 2: The phone idea to start the interrogation.

402
00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:43,400
Speaker 1: Whatever this interrogation is.

403
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:45,400
Speaker 2: Oh calling him over and talking over.

404
00:20:45,600 --> 00:20:46,680
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's trying me.

405
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:49,400
Speaker 2: If you're worried about safety, then I think that's the.

406
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:54,720
Speaker 1: Because there is a lot of gray area with this disorder,

407
00:20:55,240 --> 00:20:58,200
Speaker 1: and like, clearly he's got his issues. Yeah, he smashes

408
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:01,200
Speaker 1: things when he gets mad. But apparently she also had

409
00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:05,560
Speaker 1: issues for like fifteen years. She said fourteen years, Yes,

410
00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:06,000
Speaker 1: how far.

411
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:10,119
Speaker 2: They were both kind of a fault in certain ways.

412
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:14,159
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think they're both kind of weird people. But

413
00:21:14,520 --> 00:21:17,040
Speaker 1: I don't know. I think start with the phone call.

414
00:21:17,359 --> 00:21:19,280
Speaker 1: I don't know what he's trying to get out of it.

415
00:21:19,359 --> 00:21:21,919
Speaker 2: Just like I definitely don't think give him the money.

416
00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 1: I do not yet.

417
00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:27,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think maybe someone said lawyer and police.

418
00:21:27,840 --> 00:21:31,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, don't give him the satisfaction. Just yet I don't know.

419
00:21:31,400 --> 00:21:33,840
Speaker 2: I just think it's I think he's going to keep

420
00:21:33,880 --> 00:21:36,200
Speaker 2: demanding stuff from you if you give in to this,

421
00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:38,639
Speaker 2: I don't think you owe him that amount of money.

422
00:21:38,760 --> 00:21:41,040
Speaker 2: I think the six thousand dollars is more than fair.

423
00:21:41,320 --> 00:21:43,480
Speaker 1: I think there's got to be a timeline. I agree.

424
00:21:43,480 --> 00:21:46,000
Speaker 1: In addition, I can't. I don't think it's just a piece,

425
00:21:46,720 --> 00:21:49,840
Speaker 1: but will only have the new data of the free housing.

426
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:52,200
Speaker 2: The free housing like he's going home, Oh yeah, he's

427
00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:54,040
Speaker 2: going to his family. So it's not like he's going

428
00:21:54,119 --> 00:21:55,959
Speaker 2: to be on you know, on the streets or anything.

429
00:21:56,119 --> 00:21:59,000
Speaker 1: But he doesn't need like a car. Yes, So I

430
00:21:59,040 --> 00:22:01,280
Speaker 1: think it is annoying that he said no to the

431
00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:03,960
Speaker 1: cheaper car. That means he's just not willing to like,

432
00:22:04,400 --> 00:22:05,320
Speaker 1: he's not willing.

433
00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,879
Speaker 2: To make any exactly. He wants as much money as

434
00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:10,040
Speaker 2: he can get out of OPIE, which I think there

435
00:22:10,040 --> 00:22:12,239
Speaker 2: are certain scenarios where you know, a person has a

436
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:14,640
Speaker 2: bunch of money and a person's like trying to like, oh,

437
00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:17,280
Speaker 2: this wouldn't actually, you know, hurt you financially, but this

438
00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:22,199
Speaker 2: would yeah, like savings completely wipe out all of OPC savings,

439
00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:26,360
Speaker 2: which would hurt OPIE financially, So yeah, I don't think

440
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:28,520
Speaker 2: you should give those that money.

441
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:32,119
Speaker 1: I never wanted to see my ex boyfriend again after

442
00:22:32,160 --> 00:22:35,119
Speaker 1: he cheated on me, but I still owe him money.

443
00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:40,320
Speaker 2: Oo back to the money is Shoes. I, twenty six

444
00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:43,000
Speaker 2: femal and my ex thirty one Mail broke up in

445
00:22:43,040 --> 00:22:44,760
Speaker 2: February of twenty twenty three.

446
00:22:45,000 --> 00:22:48,120
Speaker 1: We were together since November of twenty nineteen, and during

447
00:22:48,119 --> 00:22:51,680
Speaker 1: our relationship, I was the one paying for most things.

448
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:55,719
Speaker 1: I paid for food, dates, gas, activities, and basically anything

449
00:22:55,720 --> 00:22:58,560
Speaker 1: we purchased along the way. Our financial split was around

450
00:22:58,720 --> 00:23:02,560
Speaker 1: ninety ten percent, where I was paying ninety percent of

451
00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,960
Speaker 1: our day to day expenses before we move in together,

452
00:23:05,080 --> 00:23:06,760
Speaker 1: and on occasion, he would pay for a late night

453
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:09,240
Speaker 1: dinner from a fast food restaurant, but when I would

454
00:23:09,280 --> 00:23:11,160
Speaker 1: offer to pay for dinner, we would end up going

455
00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:14,080
Speaker 1: to a restaurant where I would spend between sixty to

456
00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:16,000
Speaker 1: one hundred and fifty dollars for both of us to eat.

457
00:23:16,080 --> 00:23:19,159
Speaker 1: During this time, we were also smoking a lot of

458
00:23:19,359 --> 00:23:22,600
Speaker 1: Mary Jane. He smoked a lot more than I did,

459
00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:26,520
Speaker 1: nearly double, but I also paid for that ninety percent

460
00:23:26,520 --> 00:23:30,360
Speaker 1: of the time. My friends and family can attest this

461
00:23:30,640 --> 00:23:31,879
Speaker 1: financial split.

462
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:34,919
Speaker 2: So do we just learn that OP during the relationship

463
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:36,879
Speaker 2: was paying for a lot of stuff? Is that the okay?

464
00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:41,520
Speaker 2: Including the Mary Jane? Yes, all right, let's keep going.

465
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:45,800
Speaker 1: By the way, This comes from budding Psycho on the

466
00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:50,560
Speaker 1: r slash okay storytime subreddit. About nine months into our relationship,

467
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:52,399
Speaker 1: I was told by his friends that he had a

468
00:23:52,480 --> 00:23:55,639
Speaker 1: giant secret that I needed to know. However, none of

469
00:23:55,680 --> 00:23:57,280
Speaker 1: them would tell me themselves.

470
00:23:57,359 --> 00:23:59,520
Speaker 2: I'm so annoying. They're like, oh my god, I have

471
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:01,560
Speaker 2: to tell you again.

472
00:24:01,760 --> 00:24:04,600
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, jusy a secret. Go to It's going to

473
00:24:04,720 --> 00:24:07,160
Speaker 1: change your life. Yeah, like, you will not be away.

474
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,119
Speaker 1: I want to tell you so bad at them the

475
00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:12,240
Speaker 1: same way, you will never exist in this world no

476
00:24:12,600 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 1: like you did before knowing the secret. Through a lot

477
00:24:18,760 --> 00:24:21,560
Speaker 1: of arguing and me nearly deciding to leave because of this,

478
00:24:21,680 --> 00:24:24,399
Speaker 1: my ex finally told me that he had a child.

479
00:24:24,400 --> 00:24:29,040
Speaker 2: Whoa ah secret life's altering.

480
00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:32,080
Speaker 1: A little girl about six years old from a previous relationship.

481
00:24:32,080 --> 00:24:34,439
Speaker 1: He was twenty one when this child was born, and

482
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:37,440
Speaker 1: he was never involved in her life. According to him,

483
00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:40,480
Speaker 1: he was sending birthday gifts and paying child support.

484
00:24:40,640 --> 00:24:42,879
Speaker 2: I would break up at that point if I find

485
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,680
Speaker 2: if I found it like that a partner had a child,

486
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:48,600
Speaker 2: one that they weren't involved with at all.

487
00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:52,760
Speaker 1: Is there is there a number of months though, where

488
00:24:52,800 --> 00:24:53,960
Speaker 1: they don't tell you about the child.

489
00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:56,919
Speaker 2: I think you have to tell a partner that you

490
00:24:56,960 --> 00:24:58,320
Speaker 2: have a child right off the bat.

491
00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:01,280
Speaker 1: I don't think so, really, I think that like I

492
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:04,240
Speaker 1: think the first week though, No, I think there's a window.

493
00:25:04,480 --> 00:25:07,160
Speaker 2: Damn. I don't know. I think. I think I guess

494
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:09,919
Speaker 2: if you were involved in your child's life, if I

495
00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:12,560
Speaker 2: had a child then I was, you know, dating or something,

496
00:25:12,720 --> 00:25:15,359
Speaker 2: I would probably want that to be kind of known

497
00:25:15,440 --> 00:25:18,080
Speaker 2: right away to make sure that they're okay, you know,

498
00:25:18,119 --> 00:25:20,840
Speaker 2: that they would be okay in the future being involved

499
00:25:20,840 --> 00:25:21,520
Speaker 2: in this child, you know.

500
00:25:21,920 --> 00:25:25,200
Speaker 1: I decided to move along with the relationship and eventually

501
00:25:25,480 --> 00:25:27,760
Speaker 1: moved in together. And while he did pay for his

502
00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:30,280
Speaker 1: portion of the rent and utilities, I paid for everything

503
00:25:30,280 --> 00:25:33,920
Speaker 1: else towls, bet sheets, all food, rugs, lamb, shower, geez

504
00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:34,880
Speaker 1: et cetera.

505
00:25:35,280 --> 00:25:38,080
Speaker 2: Everything basically based on the title how do you owe

506
00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:38,639
Speaker 2: him money?

507
00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:40,600
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm very curious how we're going to get there.

508
00:25:40,720 --> 00:25:41,520
Speaker 2: Yeah.

509
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:44,119
Speaker 1: While we were living together, he opened up a credit

510
00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:46,959
Speaker 1: card and made me the authorized user. Now I have

511
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:50,120
Speaker 1: to admit I did spend on this card for personal items,

512
00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:53,040
Speaker 1: but the majority of it was things for both of us, groceries,

513
00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:55,080
Speaker 1: tot the trees, et cetera. He would often lose his

514
00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:57,040
Speaker 1: wallet or leave it in the car, and so when

515
00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:59,199
Speaker 1: he wanted to spend on his car, he'd have me

516
00:25:59,200 --> 00:26:01,600
Speaker 1: pull out my off Rise user card in charge it.

517
00:26:01,760 --> 00:26:04,400
Speaker 1: This would make the spending on my card a lot

518
00:26:04,480 --> 00:26:08,720
Speaker 1: higher when the bill came. As he did this very often.

519
00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:11,679
Speaker 2: He would he'd have me pull out my authorized user card.

520
00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:12,119
Speaker 1: Yep.

521
00:26:12,640 --> 00:26:16,000
Speaker 2: Oh, so he's it's like her name, kids stuff behind

522
00:26:16,520 --> 00:26:19,359
Speaker 2: and so he's charging on her card like stuff that

523
00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:20,920
Speaker 2: he's buying. I think that's what that just said.

524
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:22,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, but it's his account.

525
00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:25,120
Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, but it looks like she's spending more even

526
00:26:25,160 --> 00:26:27,680
Speaker 2: though he's just borrowing her card. I think that's what

527
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:28,160
Speaker 2: she's saying.

528
00:26:28,320 --> 00:26:30,879
Speaker 1: I was the only one paying the credit card bill.

529
00:26:30,960 --> 00:26:34,480
Speaker 1: The account racked up nearly forty five hundred from joint transactions.

530
00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:37,119
Speaker 1: I estimated that I paid around five to six hundred

531
00:26:37,119 --> 00:26:39,240
Speaker 1: dollars in the credit card bills while he was still

532
00:26:39,240 --> 00:26:41,919
Speaker 1: spending on the card. I had stopped spending on the

533
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:44,720
Speaker 1: card at all. At this point and was just paying

534
00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:47,679
Speaker 1: it down. Okay. We moved out of this place in

535
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:51,720
Speaker 1: January of twenty twenty three, and he decided he wanted

536
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:53,840
Speaker 1: to move back in with his parents, so I looked

537
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:56,119
Speaker 1: for a place of my own. During the time I

538
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,199
Speaker 1: was looking for a place, my ex informed me that

539
00:26:58,240 --> 00:27:00,639
Speaker 1: his parents were taking a skiing for a week. I

540
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:02,200
Speaker 1: told him I didn't really want to go, and that

541
00:27:02,280 --> 00:27:04,280
Speaker 1: he could go with his family and i'd see them

542
00:27:04,280 --> 00:27:06,240
Speaker 1: when I got back. A few days later, my ex

543
00:27:06,400 --> 00:27:09,040
Speaker 1: quote surprised me with ski tickets for the week with

544
00:27:09,080 --> 00:27:10,800
Speaker 1: his parents. I told him I said I didn't want

545
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:13,159
Speaker 1: to go to which he replied, I figured you changed

546
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:18,240
Speaker 1: your mind, always a good thing. I know what's best

547
00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:18,600
Speaker 1: for you.

548
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:20,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, I thought I was right.

549
00:27:21,200 --> 00:27:23,600
Speaker 1: On the first day of this trip, I fell and

550
00:27:23,640 --> 00:27:27,879
Speaker 1: broke my tibia at the knee, tore my acl and meniscus.

551
00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:29,960
Speaker 1: Ended up going to the er and having my mother

552
00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:31,359
Speaker 1: picked me up the very next day.

553
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:32,600
Speaker 2: This is horrible.

554
00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:33,760
Speaker 1: Didn't even want to go.

555
00:27:33,920 --> 00:27:37,000
Speaker 2: Didn't even want to go, and that's what you get. Damn,

556
00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:38,280
Speaker 2: that's really rough.

557
00:27:38,640 --> 00:27:42,040
Speaker 1: That's so brutal. It was about five hours away. One

558
00:27:42,080 --> 00:27:45,000
Speaker 1: week later was my birthday. I told that day, my

559
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,080
Speaker 1: ex told me that he was too tired to spend

560
00:27:47,080 --> 00:27:50,359
Speaker 1: my birthday evening with me, so he went home to sleep,

561
00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:53,520
Speaker 1: or so I thought. Two days after my birthday, I

562
00:27:53,560 --> 00:27:56,520
Speaker 1: found out that he'd been cheating. Oh my goodness. I

563
00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:58,480
Speaker 1: found out he had been cheating on me for two

564
00:27:58,600 --> 00:28:01,439
Speaker 1: years and that he was quote too tired on my

565
00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:05,359
Speaker 1: birthday he was actually meeting one of the girls he

566
00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:05,960
Speaker 1: was cheating with.

567
00:28:06,160 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 2: Oh.

568
00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:09,919
Speaker 1: I also found out that he in fact had two kids,

569
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:15,679
Speaker 1: not one from different women. When I confronted him, up,

570
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:18,119
Speaker 1: do you tell this man any money?

571
00:28:18,240 --> 00:28:19,960
Speaker 2: Why don't you tell someone about the second child?

572
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:21,240
Speaker 1: I don't know how.

573
00:28:24,560 --> 00:28:27,080
Speaker 2: If the first one is six months in, when's the

574
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:31,600
Speaker 2: second child come up? Six months and one hour? Okay, No,

575
00:28:32,240 --> 00:28:33,639
Speaker 2: you space it out a little bit. You don't know

576
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:34,240
Speaker 2: how many money?

577
00:28:34,359 --> 00:28:35,919
Speaker 1: You don't. I don't know what's going to happen in

578
00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:40,520
Speaker 1: the story. No, oh, this man, nah Jack, Now, you

579
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:44,640
Speaker 1: can't keep getting away with this. He keeps getting worse

580
00:28:44,680 --> 00:28:45,520
Speaker 1: and worse and worse.

581
00:28:45,680 --> 00:28:48,440
Speaker 2: This is why if I find out, like the second

582
00:28:48,440 --> 00:28:50,200
Speaker 2: that he found out that he had a child that

583
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:53,120
Speaker 2: she like he didn't tell her about. Gone, I'm done.

584
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:59,000
Speaker 1: Also, an split in a non marriage. That's that's biggest

585
00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:03,080
Speaker 1: red flags, huge red flag to me. Yeah, like if

586
00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:06,160
Speaker 1: you haven't made arrangements for your life to be like okay, well,

587
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:07,440
Speaker 1: this is what my role is going to be, this

588
00:29:07,480 --> 00:29:09,800
Speaker 1: is what yours is going to be like, and it's okay.

589
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:11,560
Speaker 2: We were to take care of everything.

590
00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:15,320
Speaker 1: Like get out of town. When I confronted him about it,

591
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:18,760
Speaker 1: he denied everything and told me I was being lied

592
00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:21,760
Speaker 1: to and I was paranoid. It's also worth mentioning that

593
00:29:21,840 --> 00:29:26,040
Speaker 1: when I had the government, it's the government they're.

594
00:29:25,800 --> 00:29:28,520
Speaker 2: Trying to They're trying to you that I'm a cheater.

595
00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:29,320
Speaker 2: It's notrew.

596
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:32,680
Speaker 1: It's also worth mentioning that when I was had suspicions

597
00:29:32,680 --> 00:29:35,000
Speaker 1: of him cheating in the past, he would tell me

598
00:29:35,040 --> 00:29:37,800
Speaker 1: that I was paranoid, overthinking and that my anxiety was

599
00:29:37,920 --> 00:29:40,840
Speaker 1: out of control. So I got on anti anxiety and

600
00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:42,320
Speaker 1: anti paranoia medication.

601
00:29:43,920 --> 00:29:44,680
Speaker 2: Ghastly you.

602
00:29:45,240 --> 00:29:50,880
Speaker 1: Then I was sent proof of everything, the cheating, the children,

603
00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:52,400
Speaker 1: and the fact that he had been lying to me

604
00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:55,920
Speaker 1: for three years. He was also not sending birthday gifts

605
00:29:56,240 --> 00:29:58,800
Speaker 1: or paying shout support. I ended things with him and

606
00:29:58,840 --> 00:30:03,240
Speaker 1: cut off all contact. Good good good. Over the next

607
00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:06,040
Speaker 1: nine months, I was in a wheelchair, then crutches, then

608
00:30:06,080 --> 00:30:09,520
Speaker 1: finally walking in October, a grand total of three surgeries,

609
00:30:09,520 --> 00:30:12,240
Speaker 1: an entire year of physical therapy, and a complete overhaul

610
00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:14,360
Speaker 1: of my life. During this time, I had to cancel

611
00:30:14,400 --> 00:30:16,080
Speaker 1: my lease on my new place and move in with

612
00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:19,440
Speaker 1: my mother. I lost my job and didn't qualify for unemployment.

613
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:23,240
Speaker 1: Longer story, my car was repossessed, and I was heavily depressed.

614
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:26,680
Speaker 1: I have now postraumatic arthritis in my knee and have

615
00:30:26,760 --> 00:30:29,080
Speaker 1: been assured by multiple doctors that I will need a

616
00:30:29,120 --> 00:30:30,720
Speaker 1: knee replacement before I'm forty.

617
00:30:30,920 --> 00:30:33,080
Speaker 2: From that trip that she didn't want to go on.

618
00:30:33,760 --> 00:30:37,280
Speaker 2: Oh this is wow. You I think you need financial

619
00:30:37,280 --> 00:30:39,280
Speaker 2: compensation from him? Yeah.

620
00:30:39,320 --> 00:30:42,360
Speaker 1: Through the great vine of friends, I heard that my

621
00:30:42,480 --> 00:30:44,920
Speaker 1: ex was mad that I still hadn't paid him back

622
00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:47,480
Speaker 1: for the credit card charges. He expected me to pay

623
00:30:47,520 --> 00:30:50,800
Speaker 1: the entire balance of the account, including late fees and

624
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:53,920
Speaker 1: the interest charges. The account was in his name. I

625
00:30:53,960 --> 00:30:57,040
Speaker 1: was only an authorized user. So that's why I think

626
00:30:57,080 --> 00:31:00,400
Speaker 1: that it's not it falls on him. Yeah, I don't

627
00:31:00,400 --> 00:31:02,120
Speaker 1: think there's any legal.

628
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:05,840
Speaker 2: Yeah, so I think that we're unassuming. Yeah, it doesn't

629
00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:06,640
Speaker 2: fall on op.

630
00:31:07,080 --> 00:31:09,880
Speaker 1: He also is refusing to show me a statement or

631
00:31:09,960 --> 00:31:13,040
Speaker 1: get an itemized bill from the credit card company. Now

632
00:31:13,200 --> 00:31:15,680
Speaker 1: at this point, I'm still penning on paying him, but

633
00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:19,440
Speaker 1: only what was charged on my card. I've been talking

634
00:31:19,440 --> 00:31:22,200
Speaker 1: to some close friends who knew him and knew about

635
00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:24,400
Speaker 1: our relationship and how it ended, and they're telling me

636
00:31:24,880 --> 00:31:27,440
Speaker 1: not to pay him back. They're telling me I paid,

637
00:31:27,800 --> 00:31:30,520
Speaker 1: that I paid more than paid my dues with him,

638
00:31:30,640 --> 00:31:32,560
Speaker 1: and that he doesn't deserve a penny of what he's

639
00:31:32,600 --> 00:31:34,880
Speaker 1: asking for. I see their point, but I can't help

640
00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:36,840
Speaker 1: but wonder if I'd be an a hole to not

641
00:31:36,880 --> 00:31:39,880
Speaker 1: pay anything. Please be kind in your responses. I'm just

642
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 1: looking for advice, and.

643
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:44,000
Speaker 2: My advice is that you join us live every week

644
00:31:44,000 --> 00:31:46,200
Speaker 2: to have three pm PSD just to have our profile.

645
00:31:46,480 --> 00:31:48,840
Speaker 1: Just do it quick edit. I wanted to clarify a

646
00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:51,040
Speaker 1: few things I got with this guy. When I was

647
00:31:51,080 --> 00:31:53,920
Speaker 1: in a very toxic and abusive household. Coupled with my

648
00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:57,600
Speaker 1: severe inexperience with men, I overlooked a lot of things

649
00:31:57,600 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 1: that I now recognize as red flags. A lack of

650
00:32:00,040 --> 00:32:05,720
Speaker 1: physical abuse can make psychological and financial abuse seem insignificant. Jeez,

651
00:32:06,400 --> 00:32:09,240
Speaker 1: I've decided not to pay him a penny. Aside from

652
00:32:09,400 --> 00:32:11,920
Speaker 1: what I could legally be required to pay, likely nothing,

653
00:32:12,120 --> 00:32:13,960
Speaker 1: I guess I just needed to make sure that the

654
00:32:13,960 --> 00:32:15,959
Speaker 1: people in my life telling me not to pay him

655
00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:18,040
Speaker 1: weren't just saying so out of love for me. I

656
00:32:18,080 --> 00:32:21,080
Speaker 1: also am in no way blaming him for my injury.

657
00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:23,640
Speaker 1: I went because his parents had already paid and they

658
00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:25,800
Speaker 1: were good to me when things but my own family

659
00:32:25,840 --> 00:32:28,800
Speaker 1: got hard. Regardless, I made the decision to go on

660
00:32:28,800 --> 00:32:31,360
Speaker 1: the trip, and I paid the consequences, including the story

661
00:32:31,400 --> 00:32:34,400
Speaker 1: of my injury, was just for context. Thank you for

662
00:32:34,440 --> 00:32:37,280
Speaker 1: all the responses. I honestly didn't expect this much activity

663
00:32:37,440 --> 00:32:38,000
Speaker 1: on the post.

664
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:41,360
Speaker 2: I think that's fair. I think I was gonna say, maybe,

665
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:44,320
Speaker 2: just like the three hundred dollars that you said, you

666
00:32:44,320 --> 00:32:47,440
Speaker 2: you know, you bought for yourself.

667
00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:50,040
Speaker 1: Everything was ninety ten time.

668
00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:52,840
Speaker 2: If you were paying for everything and he was charging

669
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:57,520
Speaker 2: things on your card not willing to send the itemized statement, which.

670
00:32:57,440 --> 00:32:59,520
Speaker 1: Means, yeah, doesn't she doesn't even know what it's his

671
00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:01,520
Speaker 1: stuff that he was paying for Exactly.

672
00:33:01,760 --> 00:33:05,560
Speaker 2: She's yeah, there's no proof that like what he asks,

673
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:08,800
Speaker 2: the amount that he's asking for is actually changed that

674
00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:12,600
Speaker 2: she spent money on. Yeah, exactly, But that is the

675
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:15,880
Speaker 2: end of that story, Blindbe says, send him an itemized

676
00:33:15,920 --> 00:33:18,440
Speaker 2: bill of your medical expenses since the ski trip and

677
00:33:18,560 --> 00:33:20,760
Speaker 2: ask him to pay for it. You're like, Okay, I

678
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:24,000
Speaker 2: will pay for that if you favor this. Jellybud says fair,

679
00:33:24,080 --> 00:33:27,440
Speaker 2: and I searched legally. It's his credit card debt, even

680
00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:29,960
Speaker 2: if a judge ruled otherwise because credit card stays in

681
00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:33,000
Speaker 2: his name. Yeah, if it was under his name that

682
00:33:33,040 --> 00:33:34,920
Speaker 2: it wouldn't she wouldn't be affected. But that is the

683
00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:37,360
Speaker 2: end of that story. My friend freedd my wedding like

684
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:40,320
Speaker 2: a waste of time, so I told her her friendship

685
00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:41,600
Speaker 2: was a waste of my time.

686
00:33:41,880 --> 00:33:43,040
Speaker 3: Boom roasted.

687
00:33:43,920 --> 00:33:45,920
Speaker 2: My maid of honor was my best friend of close

688
00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:49,600
Speaker 2: to twenty years. Wow. We were very close. She was

689
00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:52,400
Speaker 2: in the delivery room when my son was born. I

690
00:33:52,440 --> 00:33:55,120
Speaker 2: introduced her to her boyfriend of over twenty years now,

691
00:33:55,720 --> 00:33:58,000
Speaker 2: so it was a no brainer when I got engaged

692
00:33:58,040 --> 00:33:59,920
Speaker 2: that she would be my maid of honor in my wedding.

693
00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:02,200
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from after Tower twelve seventy

694
00:34:02,200 --> 00:34:04,480
Speaker 2: seven on the ok storytime separate it. So we had

695
00:34:04,560 --> 00:34:06,920
Speaker 2: always talked about being each other's made of honor. The

696
00:34:06,960 --> 00:34:09,480
Speaker 2: only problem is her boyfriend never wants to get married,

697
00:34:09,600 --> 00:34:12,239
Speaker 2: and I think that might be where this all stems from.

698
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:16,160
Speaker 2: I always second to her in lots of things, especially

699
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:19,160
Speaker 2: when it came to boys, but nonetheless here I was

700
00:34:19,520 --> 00:34:22,360
Speaker 2: engaged the love of my life and so happy. So

701
00:34:22,640 --> 00:34:25,320
Speaker 2: let's jump to wedding planning and all the things leading

702
00:34:25,360 --> 00:34:27,440
Speaker 2: up to the big day. She didn't attend dress shopping

703
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:29,400
Speaker 2: day with the wedding party. I had to go with

704
00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:31,200
Speaker 2: her a different day to show her the dress the

705
00:34:31,239 --> 00:34:33,760
Speaker 2: girls would be wearing. I got phone calls for weeks

706
00:34:33,760 --> 00:34:36,520
Speaker 2: from the dress shop after the dresses came in, saying

707
00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:38,759
Speaker 2: she hadn't picked her dress up yet. This would play

708
00:34:38,760 --> 00:34:41,560
Speaker 2: an important piece later. She dropped by the shop every

709
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:43,400
Speaker 2: day to work. I had to beg her to go

710
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:45,600
Speaker 2: in and get the dress. I made almost all of

711
00:34:45,600 --> 00:34:48,200
Speaker 2: my decorations for my wedding and had a few girls'

712
00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:50,719
Speaker 2: nights with my wedding party to help with things. I

713
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:53,160
Speaker 2: always invited her to join us, but she never at

714
00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:55,160
Speaker 2: the time to do so. Though it was no biggie

715
00:34:55,160 --> 00:34:57,440
Speaker 2: when it came to my wedding shower, she didn't have

716
00:34:57,480 --> 00:35:00,480
Speaker 2: the time again to really plan it. So my mother, sister,

717
00:35:00,640 --> 00:35:03,319
Speaker 2: and bridesmaids stepped in and did the work. She was

718
00:35:03,360 --> 00:35:05,279
Speaker 2: even late to the shower. She didn't want to plan

719
00:35:05,360 --> 00:35:08,840
Speaker 2: my bachelorette party either, so again my bridesmaid stepped in

720
00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:12,200
Speaker 2: to do it. She literally said she wanted to be your.

721
00:35:12,760 --> 00:35:16,120
Speaker 4: Maid of honor, and she's kind of yeah second, not first. Yeah,

722
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:17,880
Speaker 4: because she wanted to get married first. She wanted to

723
00:35:17,880 --> 00:35:18,600
Speaker 4: do all these things for her.

724
00:35:18,719 --> 00:35:20,359
Speaker 2: That's the thing she's tell us. We had a two

725
00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:22,160
Speaker 2: day event, with the first night going to one of

726
00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:24,640
Speaker 2: the girl's houses and just having a girl's night. She

727
00:35:24,680 --> 00:35:26,839
Speaker 2: showed up to this part of it and while there

728
00:35:27,000 --> 00:35:29,480
Speaker 2: whispered loud enough to my sister so I could hear

729
00:35:29,719 --> 00:35:32,200
Speaker 2: she was pregnant. I pretended not to hear because I

730
00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:34,360
Speaker 2: felt it was weird she was telling my sister and

731
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:37,000
Speaker 2: not me. I had celebrated with her first pregnancy and

732
00:35:37,040 --> 00:35:39,719
Speaker 2: threw her baby shower and loved her daughter, so I

733
00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:42,120
Speaker 2: don't know why she was being secretive about telling me.

734
00:35:42,239 --> 00:35:44,360
Speaker 2: She didn't stay too long the first night of events

735
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:46,239
Speaker 2: and didn't attend the next day when we went to

736
00:35:46,280 --> 00:35:50,040
Speaker 2: the lake. She's for sure jealous. After the bachelorette trip,

737
00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:52,440
Speaker 2: I didn't hear from her, but one time leading up

738
00:35:52,440 --> 00:35:55,280
Speaker 2: to wedding week. When she finally told me she was pregnant.

739
00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:57,120
Speaker 2: I told her it was wonderful news, and I was

740
00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:59,919
Speaker 2: overjoyed for her. This brings us up to wedding week.

741
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:02,520
Speaker 3: Don't hand her a mike, No, don't hand her a mic.

742
00:36:02,800 --> 00:36:05,239
Speaker 2: The week of my wedding started with disaster. I was

743
00:36:05,280 --> 00:36:08,560
Speaker 2: bit by a brown recluse spider. Oh my god, and

744
00:36:08,600 --> 00:36:11,680
Speaker 2: had a horrible reaction to it. Oh my god, did

745
00:36:11,719 --> 00:36:13,799
Speaker 2: you turn into Spider Man right before your wedding. I

746
00:36:13,840 --> 00:36:15,799
Speaker 2: was admitted to the hospital and was kept there for

747
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:19,239
Speaker 2: two days. That is very scary, and I was in

748
00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:22,000
Speaker 2: panic mode. This was not how I imagine wedding week going.

749
00:36:22,080 --> 00:36:23,799
Speaker 2: I text my maid of honor to tell her what

750
00:36:23,840 --> 00:36:25,879
Speaker 2: was happening and how I had a list of things

751
00:36:25,920 --> 00:36:28,120
Speaker 2: I was supposed to be doing at that moment but

752
00:36:28,239 --> 00:36:30,640
Speaker 2: couldn't because I was in the hospital. Her response to

753
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:33,319
Speaker 2: me was, Oh, I'm sure you'll get them done. I

754
00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:35,520
Speaker 2: was taken back a little. I thought maybe she was

755
00:36:35,520 --> 00:36:37,640
Speaker 2: finally going to step up and offer to help me some,

756
00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:40,080
Speaker 2: but she didn't. I was even ten minutes away from

757
00:36:40,080 --> 00:36:42,200
Speaker 2: where she lived, and she never came to see me.

758
00:36:42,320 --> 00:36:45,120
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh.

759
00:36:45,160 --> 00:36:47,640
Speaker 2: I did finally convince my doctor to release me so

760
00:36:47,680 --> 00:36:49,680
Speaker 2: I could get back to wedding week. The night of

761
00:36:49,840 --> 00:36:53,120
Speaker 2: rehearsals is when I finally had enough. She was late

762
00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:55,719
Speaker 2: to rehearsal and when there barely spoke to me. She

763
00:36:55,760 --> 00:36:57,840
Speaker 2: did tell my mom how she hadn't tried her dress

764
00:36:57,840 --> 00:37:00,120
Speaker 2: on at all since she picked it up from the shop.

765
00:37:00,200 --> 00:37:02,400
Speaker 2: My mom was shocked, but didn't want to tell me,

766
00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:05,120
Speaker 2: so instructed her she needed to try it on immediately

767
00:37:05,160 --> 00:37:07,719
Speaker 2: when she got home. She at this point was noticeably

768
00:37:07,760 --> 00:37:10,359
Speaker 2: pregnant and wasn't when she ordered it, so my mom

769
00:37:10,440 --> 00:37:12,880
Speaker 2: was worried about it fitting. So after everyone left, I

770
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:15,439
Speaker 2: was with my sisters and another bridesmaid, who were all

771
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:18,040
Speaker 2: staying at my house, when my sister informs me of

772
00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:20,800
Speaker 2: the conversation my maid of honor had with my mom

773
00:37:20,960 --> 00:37:23,160
Speaker 2: and how my sister just got a text from my

774
00:37:23,200 --> 00:37:26,080
Speaker 2: maid of honor stating that not only had she not

775
00:37:26,239 --> 00:37:29,040
Speaker 2: tried the dress on, she never even looked.

776
00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:29,200
Speaker 1: In the bag.

777
00:37:29,360 --> 00:37:31,520
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.

778
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:33,200
Speaker 2: What is I mean? Like, at this point, if you're

779
00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:35,879
Speaker 2: so uninterested in being the maid of honor, say hey

780
00:37:35,920 --> 00:37:38,600
Speaker 2: I can't do this. Yeah, months, Like, why why are

781
00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:39,520
Speaker 2: you still.

782
00:37:39,520 --> 00:37:43,080
Speaker 4: MVP players don't become VIMVP without blame exactly.

783
00:37:43,239 --> 00:37:45,960
Speaker 2: It was the wrong dress. I was so angry. I

784
00:37:46,000 --> 00:37:48,360
Speaker 2: don't understand if someone doesn't even look at the dress.

785
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:51,000
Speaker 2: One time leading up to the event, my sister told

786
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:52,759
Speaker 2: me not to worry, she would do the communicating with

787
00:37:52,800 --> 00:37:55,040
Speaker 2: the maid of honor. I decided at that moment she

788
00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:56,799
Speaker 2: would not be in the wedding if she didn't get

789
00:37:56,840 --> 00:37:59,480
Speaker 2: the right dress. Wedding morning comes and she's texting me

790
00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:01,319
Speaker 2: asking what she needs to do about the dress and

791
00:38:01,320 --> 00:38:03,360
Speaker 2: what shoes she's supposed to buy for the wedding On

792
00:38:03,480 --> 00:38:05,759
Speaker 2: the morning of the wedding. Was she going to just

793
00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:07,719
Speaker 2: drop by nordstromrac that day?

794
00:38:07,960 --> 00:38:08,440
Speaker 3: Probably.

795
00:38:08,800 --> 00:38:10,719
Speaker 2: I gave the phone to my sister and asked her

796
00:38:10,719 --> 00:38:12,920
Speaker 2: to handle it, that I couldn't stress about my maid

797
00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:15,319
Speaker 2: of honor anymore on my wedding day. Well, she got

798
00:38:15,400 --> 00:38:17,520
Speaker 2: lucky and the dress shop had her dress still and

799
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:19,960
Speaker 2: she made it to the salon hours after everyone else.

800
00:38:20,040 --> 00:38:23,680
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, yeah, YOI I was still upset, so

801
00:38:23,719 --> 00:38:26,200
Speaker 2: I kept my distance. My wedding party had the choice

802
00:38:26,200 --> 00:38:27,960
Speaker 2: to pay to get their hair done or we could

803
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:29,560
Speaker 2: do their hair for them. She said she would do

804
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:31,600
Speaker 2: her own hair, but changed her mind at the last

805
00:38:31,640 --> 00:38:33,680
Speaker 2: second and asked the girl at the salon to do

806
00:38:33,719 --> 00:38:36,239
Speaker 2: her hair, knowing she had no money on her This

807
00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:39,160
Speaker 2: I didn't know until a month later, So one of

808
00:38:39,160 --> 00:38:42,720
Speaker 2: my bridesmaid's moms paid for her hair, and she promised

809
00:38:42,719 --> 00:38:45,640
Speaker 2: to pay them mash. I doubt she will. I don't

810
00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:47,840
Speaker 2: like her, but you know who I do like us

811
00:38:47,920 --> 00:38:49,680
Speaker 2: and I like when you guys join us live every

812
00:38:49,719 --> 00:38:52,799
Speaker 2: weekday three pmpst on YouTube. Just tap her profile tbtdata

813
00:38:52,920 --> 00:38:54,919
Speaker 2: and there is a little bit left. But what the heck,

814
00:38:54,960 --> 00:39:00,319
Speaker 2: what are the one what's going on? Absolute entitlement, like

815
00:39:00,440 --> 00:39:03,000
Speaker 2: just just be there for your friend or tell her

816
00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:03,680
Speaker 2: that you can't be.

817
00:39:04,080 --> 00:39:06,160
Speaker 4: I know that Op's going to look back at their

818
00:39:06,160 --> 00:39:08,480
Speaker 4: friendship and realize.

819
00:39:07,920 --> 00:39:09,879
Speaker 2: She was putting a lot more effort in All of the.

820
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:12,560
Speaker 3: Things that they did were on her friend's timing, not hers.

821
00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:15,320
Speaker 2: Mmmmm exactly. But there is a little bit left to

822
00:39:15,320 --> 00:39:17,359
Speaker 2: the story. Well you can guess. The ninth goes by

823
00:39:17,440 --> 00:39:19,560
Speaker 2: and my bride'smaid told me what happened and how she

824
00:39:19,600 --> 00:39:21,560
Speaker 2: hasn't gotten the money back yet. I text my maid

825
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:23,960
Speaker 2: of honor for the first time since the wedding, asking

826
00:39:24,000 --> 00:39:26,600
Speaker 2: her about the hair situation and if she was planning

827
00:39:26,600 --> 00:39:28,840
Speaker 2: on paying the other girl back. She said she was,

828
00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:30,719
Speaker 2: but was waiting to give it to me, and I

829
00:39:30,760 --> 00:39:32,520
Speaker 2: said she had plenty of time to do that. She

830
00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:34,399
Speaker 2: said she didn't know when I was back or if

831
00:39:34,400 --> 00:39:36,200
Speaker 2: I was back for my honeymoon. Yet I told her

832
00:39:36,239 --> 00:39:38,720
Speaker 2: that was ridiculous that she knows I could never afford

833
00:39:38,760 --> 00:39:40,640
Speaker 2: to be on a month long honeymoon. I'm a mom

834
00:39:40,680 --> 00:39:42,719
Speaker 2: and a teacher. She told me I was ridiculous and

835
00:39:42,719 --> 00:39:44,799
Speaker 2: she would get me the money. Two weeks later and

836
00:39:44,880 --> 00:39:47,120
Speaker 2: I was still asking for it. I finally told her

837
00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:49,239
Speaker 2: how I felt about her attitude the whole wedding. She

838
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:51,040
Speaker 2: told me I made her feel like crap the day

839
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:53,799
Speaker 2: of the wedding. Good, you should feel like crap. You

840
00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:56,439
Speaker 2: literally were stressing around because you couldn't get your dress

841
00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:58,880
Speaker 2: and your shoes in order and didn't help r att Ale.

842
00:39:58,920 --> 00:40:00,560
Speaker 2: And I didn't know how hard she she worked.

843
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:00,880
Speaker 1: On my wedding.

844
00:40:00,960 --> 00:40:03,040
Speaker 3: You need to do in that wedding, Dame, Come on.

845
00:40:03,160 --> 00:40:05,200
Speaker 2: I told her I needed a break from our friendship

846
00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:07,760
Speaker 2: and haven't spoken to her since. Did I ever react

847
00:40:07,880 --> 00:40:10,640
Speaker 2: or am I justified for cutting her off? You're justified.

848
00:40:10,719 --> 00:40:13,239
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, she I mean, she wasn't doing anything for

849
00:40:13,320 --> 00:40:15,319
Speaker 2: you at all, and then she was blaming you for it.

850
00:40:15,400 --> 00:40:18,600
Speaker 2: Just totally unfair. That was the end of that story.

851
00:40:18,719 --> 00:40:22,439
Speaker 2: My friend bullied my kids and refuses to take accountability.

852
00:40:22,520 --> 00:40:23,399
Speaker 3: Bring bullies back?

853
00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:28,520
Speaker 2: What I thirty seven female and my friend and fifty

854
00:40:28,600 --> 00:40:31,800
Speaker 2: seven female have known each other for roughly twelve years.

855
00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:33,920
Speaker 2: For the first part of the friendship, we were working

856
00:40:33,960 --> 00:40:36,960
Speaker 2: friends and later had the occasional outing on a weekend.

857
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:40,040
Speaker 2: We lost contact in twenty seventeen while I was pregnant

858
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:43,080
Speaker 2: with my first child, six male, and didn't regain contact

859
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:46,000
Speaker 2: until fall of twenty twenty one. By the way, this

860
00:40:46,040 --> 00:40:48,840
Speaker 2: comes from soul Delight on the Okay Storytime suburd so

861
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:52,560
Speaker 2: Anne has always been outspoken and very opinionated. She's very

862
00:40:52,600 --> 00:40:55,480
Speaker 2: much a my way or no way type person. This

863
00:40:55,600 --> 00:40:57,480
Speaker 2: trait can often make you feel like you have to

864
00:40:57,480 --> 00:40:59,680
Speaker 2: walk on eggshells to be around her. Even if you

865
00:40:59,719 --> 00:41:03,160
Speaker 2: can her opinion incorrect, she will still ignore it and

866
00:41:03,239 --> 00:41:05,520
Speaker 2: say something along the lines of I've done it this

867
00:41:05,640 --> 00:41:07,520
Speaker 2: long and it has in hurt me yet, Well, maybe

868
00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:08,640
Speaker 2: it's hurting other people around you.

869
00:41:08,719 --> 00:41:09,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're think about that, do you?

870
00:41:09,800 --> 00:41:12,160
Speaker 2: Think about that. Do we think about anything other than ourselves?

871
00:41:12,239 --> 00:41:13,239
Speaker 3: Oh, it doesn't sound like it.

872
00:41:13,280 --> 00:41:16,359
Speaker 2: I've also never heard her apologize for anything at all ever.

873
00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:17,520
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.

874
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:19,600
Speaker 2: Over the last three years, she's been a good friend

875
00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:22,120
Speaker 2: in the sense that she actively tries to find outings

876
00:41:22,120 --> 00:41:24,000
Speaker 2: for us to go on and it's generally fun to

877
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:26,160
Speaker 2: be around. Okay, there has been a lot of memories

878
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:29,200
Speaker 2: made on road trips, beach days and dinners together. She

879
00:41:29,280 --> 00:41:32,160
Speaker 2: seeks out holiday activities for my kids and has taken

880
00:41:32,200 --> 00:41:35,160
Speaker 2: on an aunt like role in their lives. I really

881
00:41:35,239 --> 00:41:38,080
Speaker 2: value this side of our friendship. Last winter, we had

882
00:41:38,120 --> 00:41:40,360
Speaker 2: made plans to take the kids for a picture with Santa.

883
00:41:40,520 --> 00:41:43,839
Speaker 2: Kids wear four female and five male. At the time,

884
00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:47,000
Speaker 2: it was a rainy, gross day and I fall victim

885
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:49,920
Speaker 2: to bad midgrains in this type of weather and asked

886
00:41:49,960 --> 00:41:51,960
Speaker 2: if we could go to Costco prior to going to

887
00:41:52,000 --> 00:41:54,279
Speaker 2: a large mall in my town for the pictures. Nice

888
00:41:54,400 --> 00:41:56,880
Speaker 2: gotta go to Costcott to do at Costco trip. We

889
00:41:56,960 --> 00:41:59,279
Speaker 2: spent over two hours in Costco, landing us at the

890
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:02,440
Speaker 2: mall at Santa rush hour. The line was huge and

891
00:42:02,480 --> 00:42:05,800
Speaker 2: we ended up waiting around forty five minutes for our turn,

892
00:42:05,960 --> 00:42:08,040
Speaker 2: I paid for a picture of just the kids. She

893
00:42:08,160 --> 00:42:10,399
Speaker 2: paid for a picture of all four of us. Through

894
00:42:10,480 --> 00:42:12,839
Speaker 2: this time, I've told her multiple times that my head

895
00:42:12,880 --> 00:42:15,120
Speaker 2: was hurting really bad and I need to wrap this

896
00:42:15,239 --> 00:42:17,239
Speaker 2: up quickly, and asked if he had time to go

897
00:42:17,280 --> 00:42:19,000
Speaker 2: to Walmart since it was in the mall and she

898
00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:21,080
Speaker 2: only needed a couple of things. The kids were over

899
00:42:21,120 --> 00:42:23,520
Speaker 2: it already, but I tried to muscle through it and

900
00:42:23,560 --> 00:42:26,680
Speaker 2: carry on. It ended up being an extended visit, sauntering

901
00:42:26,680 --> 00:42:28,720
Speaker 2: around with no sense of urgency at all.

902
00:42:28,840 --> 00:42:29,880
Speaker 3: Zero person.

903
00:42:30,040 --> 00:42:31,240
Speaker 2: This drought me crazy.

904
00:42:31,360 --> 00:42:33,920
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, I know how impatient you are. You would

905
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:35,000
Speaker 4: not like this at all.

906
00:42:34,880 --> 00:42:37,319
Speaker 2: If I'm not feeling good and we're just walking around and.

907
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:39,640
Speaker 4: Be like Sophia is the worst person when she's not

908
00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:43,640
Speaker 4: feeling warm. It's true, I admit that it's It's really tough.

909
00:42:44,120 --> 00:42:46,160
Speaker 2: I tried to forewarned people.

910
00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:47,960
Speaker 3: Like, I'm gonna be in a bad mood starting now.

911
00:42:48,160 --> 00:42:51,560
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, I'm just like if I'm tired, guys,

912
00:42:51,640 --> 00:42:53,239
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna get a lot of sleep, not gonna

913
00:42:53,239 --> 00:42:54,600
Speaker 2: be in a good mid true.

914
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:54,880
Speaker 1: This one.

915
00:42:54,920 --> 00:42:56,759
Speaker 4: We have to feed her like five times a day, yeah,

916
00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:58,920
Speaker 4: and give her like ten hours of sleep Yeah.

917
00:42:58,719 --> 00:43:01,799
Speaker 2: The kids and I were progressed, getting more and more frustrated.

918
00:43:01,960 --> 00:43:05,000
Speaker 2: She decided we needed to go get prints of the

919
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:07,640
Speaker 2: Santa pictures, which ended up being a big photodump from

920
00:43:07,640 --> 00:43:10,600
Speaker 2: her phone's camera roll. I reminded her again that I'm

921
00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:13,480
Speaker 2: barely holding on and needed to go. She said she

922
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:15,200
Speaker 2: would pay for the pictures and I could go wait

923
00:43:15,239 --> 00:43:17,680
Speaker 2: in the car. Nice, but guilt tripped me after she

924
00:43:17,760 --> 00:43:19,560
Speaker 2: said it for agreeing with her. It was enough to

925
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:22,680
Speaker 2: make me really angry. I told her as much, then

926
00:43:22,719 --> 00:43:25,480
Speaker 2: went to the car and cried, ohow to this day,

927
00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:27,680
Speaker 2: I have not seen any of those pictures, including my

928
00:43:27,760 --> 00:43:29,400
Speaker 2: kids Santa pictures that I paid for.

929
00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:30,440
Speaker 3: Oh dang.

930
00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:33,319
Speaker 2: This and one other very similar incident are the only

931
00:43:33,360 --> 00:43:36,000
Speaker 2: two times I outwardly showed her that I was aggravated

932
00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:39,200
Speaker 2: by her behavior. On Halloween. Anne has embedded herself in

933
00:43:39,280 --> 00:43:41,680
Speaker 2: our plans for the last couple of years. This year,

934
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:44,600
Speaker 2: she wanted everyone to go as clowns from outer space.

935
00:43:44,760 --> 00:43:46,680
Speaker 2: She let my kids watch it on a sleepover. I

936
00:43:46,719 --> 00:43:48,640
Speaker 2: had never seen it. Now that I have, I don't

937
00:43:48,680 --> 00:43:51,440
Speaker 2: like it at all. My son originally loved the idea,

938
00:43:51,520 --> 00:43:53,880
Speaker 2: but really wanted to be Deadpool. My daughter did not

939
00:43:54,120 --> 00:43:56,680
Speaker 2: want to be a clown. She's very girly. She loves

940
00:43:56,719 --> 00:43:59,839
Speaker 2: fancy dresses and flashy things. When Anne realized no one

941
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:03,440
Speaker 2: really liked her idea, she became very mute. About Halloween.

942
00:44:03,520 --> 00:44:05,719
Speaker 2: I messaged asking if she was still coming at noon

943
00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:08,160
Speaker 2: Halloween Day. I'll recount the rest in the text below,

944
00:44:08,400 --> 00:44:10,560
Speaker 2: except the fact that when I called from her driveway,

945
00:44:10,680 --> 00:44:13,400
Speaker 2: she told me the neighbors had already left. She wasn't coming,

946
00:44:13,520 --> 00:44:16,279
Speaker 2: and my response was poor, are you efing kidding? Me?

947
00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:20,000
Speaker 2: Blurted out, and I hung up, this being the only

948
00:44:20,120 --> 00:44:22,080
Speaker 2: time I have ever hung up on her from a

949
00:44:22,160 --> 00:44:25,279
Speaker 2: yere I'm going to include verbatim except for names. Two

950
00:44:25,360 --> 00:44:28,040
Speaker 2: longer text messages that I'd like input on. I don't

951
00:44:28,080 --> 00:44:30,000
Speaker 2: know if I should end this friendship or try to

952
00:44:30,040 --> 00:44:33,000
Speaker 2: fix it. My message to Anne Thursday, you asked to

953
00:44:33,000 --> 00:44:35,399
Speaker 2: give up your spot so Jen could come. I very

954
00:44:35,719 --> 00:44:38,120
Speaker 2: clearly responded that there was enough room for everyone. I

955
00:44:38,160 --> 00:44:40,839
Speaker 2: would have expected that point for common sense to kick

956
00:44:40,840 --> 00:44:43,520
Speaker 2: in and state that they're welcome to come, as room

957
00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:45,880
Speaker 2: for everyone is pretty direct. I then responded that it

958
00:44:45,920 --> 00:44:48,120
Speaker 2: wasn't an option to go or not, even though I'm

959
00:44:48,160 --> 00:44:50,439
Speaker 2: sick and that I wanted to be out between five

960
00:44:50,520 --> 00:44:53,520
Speaker 2: thirty and six. As stated, I messaged at five thirty

961
00:44:53,560 --> 00:44:56,600
Speaker 2: saying I was on the way and received no response

962
00:44:56,680 --> 00:44:59,239
Speaker 2: until I called from your driveway, so I wasted a

963
00:44:59,239 --> 00:45:01,640
Speaker 2: bunch of gas and over half an hour of time

964
00:45:01,719 --> 00:45:03,920
Speaker 2: The kids could have been out in dry weather, resulting

965
00:45:03,960 --> 00:45:05,600
Speaker 2: in ME being sick and out in the rain. The

966
00:45:05,640 --> 00:45:08,560
Speaker 2: biggest problem here, though, is the fact that instead of

967
00:45:08,600 --> 00:45:11,040
Speaker 2: owning your error and correcting it in turn showing that

968
00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:13,399
Speaker 2: you value the friendship, you've chosen to double down by

969
00:45:13,400 --> 00:45:15,799
Speaker 2: going no contact as you have in the past, proving

970
00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:18,080
Speaker 2: the friendship is in fact one side. To top it off,

971
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:20,960
Speaker 2: you're sending me Netflix requests without telling me, so I

972
00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:23,000
Speaker 2: don't even see them while they're active. I don't know

973
00:45:23,040 --> 00:45:24,920
Speaker 2: what's going on with you, but having the kids around

974
00:45:24,960 --> 00:45:27,360
Speaker 2: you the last couple of months has been stressful. Dang,

975
00:45:27,400 --> 00:45:29,360
Speaker 2: You've yanked my daughter out of the car with the

976
00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:31,680
Speaker 2: door closing on her and scared her to the point

977
00:45:31,719 --> 00:45:34,000
Speaker 2: of tears. Aw They both fuss if I say we're

978
00:45:34,000 --> 00:45:36,359
Speaker 2: going to your house. My son outright said I don't

979
00:45:36,360 --> 00:45:38,480
Speaker 2: want to go there. She's so mean to us, and

980
00:45:38,640 --> 00:45:40,560
Speaker 2: daughter said, yeah, she told me I had a fence

981
00:45:40,600 --> 00:45:43,680
Speaker 2: in my mouth. Who The actual statement made was that

982
00:45:43,719 --> 00:45:46,520
Speaker 2: she had teeth so crooked it looked like a picket fence.

983
00:45:46,760 --> 00:45:50,120
Speaker 2: That in itself is absolutely appalling that someone at nearly

984
00:45:50,200 --> 00:45:53,719
Speaker 2: sixty would bully a five year old. Yeah, it's really embarrassing.

985
00:45:54,000 --> 00:45:55,320
Speaker 3: Oh my god, why are.

986
00:45:55,160 --> 00:45:57,280
Speaker 2: You commenting on a five year old's teeth. I value

987
00:45:57,320 --> 00:45:59,560
Speaker 2: this friendship. I enjoy a lot of the time we

988
00:45:59,560 --> 00:46:02,400
Speaker 2: spent togaein. These issues need to be worked on or

989
00:46:02,440 --> 00:46:05,280
Speaker 2: I'll have to choose my kid's safety and mental health.

990
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:07,120
Speaker 2: I need for you to choose to level up as

991
00:46:07,120 --> 00:46:09,880
Speaker 2: a human instead of actively trying not to and response

992
00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:12,799
Speaker 2: to me five days later. First off, Netflix issues are

993
00:46:12,800 --> 00:46:15,359
Speaker 2: pretty standard. I figured you would know what I meant.

994
00:46:15,560 --> 00:46:17,960
Speaker 2: It says your TV isn't part of the Netflix household

995
00:46:18,040 --> 00:46:20,960
Speaker 2: for this account. Then it says update Netflix household and

996
00:46:21,000 --> 00:46:22,720
Speaker 2: it wants you to make sure this is your account.

997
00:46:22,880 --> 00:46:25,760
Speaker 2: I just sent the text. Oh boy, she's really upset

998
00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:26,480
Speaker 2: about that episode.

999
00:46:26,640 --> 00:46:27,600
Speaker 3: Needs to watch.

1000
00:46:28,800 --> 00:46:31,920
Speaker 4: I need to reach I'm trying to watch Vampire Diaries

1001
00:46:31,960 --> 00:46:32,759
Speaker 4: and you're getting out of me.

1002
00:46:32,920 --> 00:46:34,440
Speaker 3: No, an arcade and person want to do this.

1003
00:46:34,520 --> 00:46:37,240
Speaker 2: That's true. Look arcane person would have some self respect.

1004
00:46:37,320 --> 00:46:39,200
Speaker 3: Yeah, this is Vampire Diaries Rittel.

1005
00:46:39,520 --> 00:46:42,680
Speaker 2: Secondly, no, I will never call back someone who swears

1006
00:46:42,680 --> 00:46:45,680
Speaker 2: and hangs up on me. It's so disrespectful that I

1007
00:46:45,719 --> 00:46:47,600
Speaker 2: should not have to reach out to you. First, I

1008
00:46:47,680 --> 00:46:50,520
Speaker 2: was looking for Christmas pictures the other day and found

1009
00:46:50,560 --> 00:46:52,880
Speaker 2: several of us from last year. My first thought was,

1010
00:46:53,040 --> 00:46:55,160
Speaker 2: all of those are happening again soon, and we had

1011
00:46:55,160 --> 00:46:57,879
Speaker 2: fun doing it last year. Then I remembered your son

1012
00:46:58,080 --> 00:47:01,719
Speaker 2: had a snit fit at Grint because of the marshmallows,

1013
00:47:01,920 --> 00:47:03,799
Speaker 2: and in picture Day you walked out on me in

1014
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:06,320
Speaker 2: Walmart and left me paying for your prints. Everything just

1015
00:47:06,360 --> 00:47:08,479
Speaker 2: seems like a battle and wears me out some days,

1016
00:47:08,480 --> 00:47:10,960
Speaker 2: which is why I explode. But you would never have

1017
00:47:11,000 --> 00:47:13,240
Speaker 2: to explode if you join us a live every weekday

1018
00:47:13,280 --> 00:47:15,040
Speaker 2: three PMPSD on YouTube. Just top our.

1019
00:47:14,920 --> 00:47:17,520
Speaker 4: Profile tbty tap tap wow, and there is a little

1020
00:47:17,520 --> 00:47:17,839
Speaker 4: bit left.

1021
00:47:17,920 --> 00:47:20,160
Speaker 2: I know I need to change, but for me, not

1022
00:47:20,280 --> 00:47:22,440
Speaker 2: anyone else, and I need to figure it out as

1023
00:47:22,440 --> 00:47:24,920
Speaker 2: I go. My pills are almost done, so in a

1024
00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:27,520
Speaker 2: couple months I'll see who I am without them and

1025
00:47:27,640 --> 00:47:29,600
Speaker 2: see where I want to go. But you also need

1026
00:47:29,600 --> 00:47:32,760
Speaker 2: a level up two the tantrums and pouting and hanging

1027
00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:34,759
Speaker 2: up on me. Need to stop. I haven't felt one

1028
00:47:34,840 --> 00:47:37,480
Speaker 2: hundred percent comfortable around you in a long time because

1029
00:47:37,520 --> 00:47:39,520
Speaker 2: I never know when you're going to get pissed off.

1030
00:47:39,680 --> 00:47:41,839
Speaker 2: This isn't fair to me. If you want to talk

1031
00:47:41,840 --> 00:47:44,520
Speaker 2: about where we go from here or want to subvertize,

1032
00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:47,200
Speaker 2: let me know what do I do from here? Am

1033
00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:49,440
Speaker 2: I the ale for being upset in these situations and

1034
00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:51,400
Speaker 2: for the fact that there is never an apology or

1035
00:47:51,440 --> 00:47:53,160
Speaker 2: any accountability for actions.

1036
00:47:53,320 --> 00:47:54,760
Speaker 3: She just seems really toxic.

1037
00:47:54,800 --> 00:47:57,160
Speaker 2: She seems so toxic and your kids hater? Yeah, your

1038
00:47:57,239 --> 00:48:00,520
Speaker 2: kids hater. She's toxic. She's not there for you, She

1039
00:48:00,560 --> 00:48:03,160
Speaker 2: creates drama. Just leave her to be like, Hey, I'm

1040
00:48:03,160 --> 00:48:05,280
Speaker 2: gonna make a lot easier. Yeah, I think we're gonna hrut.

1041
00:48:05,320 --> 00:48:07,600
Speaker 2: Let's not be friends. Yeah, there we go, And now

1042
00:48:07,600 --> 00:48:09,319
Speaker 2: she doesn't have to worry about you and she can

1043
00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:09,799
Speaker 2: live up.

1044
00:48:09,960 --> 00:48:10,840
Speaker 3: You don't have to worry about her.

1045
00:48:10,920 --> 00:48:13,080
Speaker 2: Man oh man. But that is the end of that story.

1046
00:48:13,320 --> 00:48:15,239
Speaker 2: My friend ditched me after I went out of my

1047
00:48:15,280 --> 00:48:17,680
Speaker 2: way for her. So I told her, our friendship is over.

1048
00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:19,360
Speaker 3: If you ditch, you end up in a ditch.

1049
00:48:19,440 --> 00:48:21,680
Speaker 2: I thirty one female. Used to have a friend who

1050
00:48:21,719 --> 00:48:24,960
Speaker 2: I will call Stacy twenty nine female. Stacy and I

1051
00:48:25,040 --> 00:48:27,200
Speaker 2: were a bit different from each other. She has lots

1052
00:48:27,200 --> 00:48:28,960
Speaker 2: of friends and love to go out and get a

1053
00:48:29,040 --> 00:48:31,600
Speaker 2: drink or dance at the clubs. She loved makeup and

1054
00:48:31,680 --> 00:48:33,960
Speaker 2: fashion and was an extrovert. I was more of an

1055
00:48:34,000 --> 00:48:36,560
Speaker 2: introvert who would mostly stay by her at her parties

1056
00:48:36,880 --> 00:48:39,080
Speaker 2: because I didn't know anyone else there. I don't drink,

1057
00:48:39,239 --> 00:48:41,719
Speaker 2: don't know anything about fashion or makeup. But we had

1058
00:48:41,719 --> 00:48:43,920
Speaker 2: a few shared interests in media that we bonded over.

1059
00:48:44,160 --> 00:48:46,360
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from beads and moon pies

1060
00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:49,239
Speaker 2: on the Okay storytime separated, so I loved hanging out

1061
00:48:49,239 --> 00:48:51,600
Speaker 2: with Stacy and we were friends for a few years.

1062
00:48:51,880 --> 00:48:54,000
Speaker 2: I was even a bridesmaid at her wedding when she

1063
00:48:54,040 --> 00:48:56,640
Speaker 2: got married to her husband, Lester, not real name. I

1064
00:48:56,719 --> 00:48:58,640
Speaker 2: like to think she helped me come out of my shell,

1065
00:48:58,840 --> 00:49:01,200
Speaker 2: and she certainly held me with what I wear and

1066
00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:03,600
Speaker 2: how I do my makeup. To try to keep things short.

1067
00:49:03,760 --> 00:49:06,040
Speaker 2: Things started taking a turn about a year ago. We

1068
00:49:06,120 --> 00:49:08,680
Speaker 2: went on vacation with some of Stacy's friends and she

1069
00:49:08,800 --> 00:49:10,359
Speaker 2: told me that she was going to try to hook

1070
00:49:10,440 --> 00:49:13,000
Speaker 2: up with another girl. I asked her if her husband knew,

1071
00:49:13,360 --> 00:49:17,560
Speaker 2: and she asked me to keep it a secret. No, no, no,

1072
00:49:18,120 --> 00:49:22,120
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, no, hope, he says. I agreed, but only

1073
00:49:22,160 --> 00:49:24,319
Speaker 2: because it wasn't my place or my business to tell

1074
00:49:24,320 --> 00:49:26,000
Speaker 2: her husband what she was doing. If I were in

1075
00:49:26,040 --> 00:49:27,759
Speaker 2: this position and a friend asked me to do this,

1076
00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:29,920
Speaker 2: I would say, you cannot ask me to do that.

1077
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:32,840
Speaker 2: If they ask me, I will have to tell the truth.

1078
00:49:32,920 --> 00:49:35,800
Speaker 2: I will not be part of this lie. Not long afterward,

1079
00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:38,239
Speaker 2: she told me she told her husband and everything was

1080
00:49:38,239 --> 00:49:40,520
Speaker 2: okay between them. I didn't know many details, and I

1081
00:49:40,560 --> 00:49:43,560
Speaker 2: didn't ask again, not my business. Things were normal after

1082
00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:45,560
Speaker 2: that and it was just never mentioned again. It may

1083
00:49:45,560 --> 00:49:48,880
Speaker 2: not be your business specifically with their relationship, but like,

1084
00:49:48,920 --> 00:49:50,719
Speaker 2: why do you want to? Like? Why do you want

1085
00:49:50,760 --> 00:49:52,640
Speaker 2: to be friends with the person who does this? Fast

1086
00:49:52,680 --> 00:49:55,080
Speaker 2: forward a few months and Stacy has another party. I

1087
00:49:55,080 --> 00:49:56,920
Speaker 2: couldn't go because I had to work that night and

1088
00:49:56,920 --> 00:49:59,319
Speaker 2: couldn't take off, but I did stop by to drop

1089
00:49:59,360 --> 00:50:01,680
Speaker 2: off some snacks and games I had bought for people.

1090
00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:04,560
Speaker 2: Everything seemed normal with her then, but then I received

1091
00:50:04,560 --> 00:50:08,080
Speaker 2: a call. Not long afterwards. It was Stacy's husband asking

1092
00:50:08,120 --> 00:50:10,840
Speaker 2: me if I knew where she was. They had apparently

1093
00:50:10,840 --> 00:50:13,239
Speaker 2: gotten into a fight, and she had left worse. Her

1094
00:50:13,280 --> 00:50:15,320
Speaker 2: husband told me that she had attacked him the morning

1095
00:50:15,320 --> 00:50:18,800
Speaker 2: of their party and injured him pretty badly. I was shocked.

1096
00:50:19,000 --> 00:50:21,640
Speaker 2: Stacy had never shown any signs of violence before. Her

1097
00:50:21,680 --> 00:50:23,799
Speaker 2: husband told me that he suspected she had mental health

1098
00:50:23,880 --> 00:50:26,560
Speaker 2: issues that needed medication, and also told me to be

1099
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:29,200
Speaker 2: careful around her since she was not acting like herself.

1100
00:50:29,360 --> 00:50:31,000
Speaker 2: I tried to get in touch with her, but I

1101
00:50:31,000 --> 00:50:33,719
Speaker 2: didn't receive anything until over a week later, and she

1102
00:50:33,880 --> 00:50:35,960
Speaker 2: only told me that she was okay. Over the next

1103
00:50:36,000 --> 00:50:39,120
Speaker 2: few months, Stacy would end up getting arrested Baker acted

1104
00:50:39,400 --> 00:50:42,360
Speaker 2: wreck her car and told me she punctured a guy's

1105
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:44,759
Speaker 2: tire after he'd said some awful things to her, So

1106
00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:49,080
Speaker 2: she's going through something. She posted accusations against her husband

1107
00:50:49,080 --> 00:50:51,680
Speaker 2: on Facebook and told people that he'd been abusing her.

1108
00:50:51,960 --> 00:50:54,040
Speaker 2: At this point, I was keeping my distance and the

1109
00:50:54,040 --> 00:50:56,360
Speaker 2: only time Stacy contacted me were to ask me for

1110
00:50:56,400 --> 00:50:58,760
Speaker 2: a place to stay or other things that she needed,

1111
00:50:59,000 --> 00:51:00,840
Speaker 2: or trash talk her husband and say how she was

1112
00:51:00,880 --> 00:51:03,920
Speaker 2: going to get her revenge against him. That's scary. Finally,

1113
00:51:03,960 --> 00:51:06,239
Speaker 2: after some more time, she revealed to me that she

1114
00:51:06,280 --> 00:51:08,160
Speaker 2: and her husband had made up and she wanted to

1115
00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:10,239
Speaker 2: talk to me. I honestly don't know if I would

1116
00:51:10,280 --> 00:51:12,239
Speaker 2: ever talk to this person again. The next time I

1117
00:51:12,280 --> 00:51:14,359
Speaker 2: saw her, she told me that the whole thing had

1118
00:51:14,400 --> 00:51:18,480
Speaker 2: been one giant breakdown cause by her untreated mental disorder bipolar.

1119
00:51:18,600 --> 00:51:20,560
Speaker 2: She was now in a state of depression since she

1120
00:51:20,560 --> 00:51:22,839
Speaker 2: had gotten fire from her very good job and her

1121
00:51:22,840 --> 00:51:25,040
Speaker 2: friends were no longer talking to her. I listened to

1122
00:51:25,040 --> 00:51:27,880
Speaker 2: her carefully as she stated that nothing brought her joy anymore,

1123
00:51:28,040 --> 00:51:31,040
Speaker 2: not the shows we used to watch, not makeup, not fashion,

1124
00:51:31,520 --> 00:51:34,080
Speaker 2: not even going out. She said she had no job

1125
00:51:34,160 --> 00:51:36,560
Speaker 2: and no money, so no more shopping or going out.

1126
00:51:36,680 --> 00:51:38,520
Speaker 2: If we hung out, it would have to be something

1127
00:51:38,560 --> 00:51:40,480
Speaker 2: that didn't cost money. I was okay with that. I

1128
00:51:40,560 --> 00:51:43,200
Speaker 2: usually paid for a lunches or bought her things before.

1129
00:51:43,239 --> 00:51:45,720
Speaker 2: She asked me to give her another chance. I agreed,

1130
00:51:45,880 --> 00:51:48,080
Speaker 2: but only so long as she was taking her medication

1131
00:51:48,200 --> 00:51:50,520
Speaker 2: and getting the help she needed. She said she was

1132
00:51:50,880 --> 00:51:53,200
Speaker 2: and she would. I don't personally know how I would

1133
00:51:53,239 --> 00:51:55,120
Speaker 2: react in the situation, but I think it is fair

1134
00:51:55,400 --> 00:51:58,239
Speaker 2: for OP to restart the friendship as long as all

1135
00:51:58,280 --> 00:52:00,839
Speaker 2: of these you know, things are being made. Not long

1136
00:52:00,880 --> 00:52:03,400
Speaker 2: after that, something happened that seemed to be the straw

1137
00:52:03,440 --> 00:52:05,200
Speaker 2: that broke my back. I had asked her to go

1138
00:52:05,200 --> 00:52:07,040
Speaker 2: see a movie with me. I bought her a ticket,

1139
00:52:07,080 --> 00:52:09,000
Speaker 2: and I told her we would go get lunch after

1140
00:52:09,160 --> 00:52:11,040
Speaker 2: and that would be my treat as well. She agreed,

1141
00:52:11,120 --> 00:52:12,640
Speaker 2: and I told her when I would be by to

1142
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:14,399
Speaker 2: pick her up, since she no longer had a car.

1143
00:52:14,520 --> 00:52:16,120
Speaker 2: While I was on my way to get her, she

1144
00:52:16,239 --> 00:52:18,239
Speaker 2: texted me to say that she and her husband had

1145
00:52:18,280 --> 00:52:20,400
Speaker 2: gone down the street to get something to eat, and

1146
00:52:20,480 --> 00:52:22,680
Speaker 2: I didn't have to worry about being on time because

1147
00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:24,960
Speaker 2: she was not at her house. I thought that was

1148
00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:26,960
Speaker 2: a bit odd, but I shrugged it off. I stopped

1149
00:52:26,960 --> 00:52:29,400
Speaker 2: at a gas station to refuel and even picked up

1150
00:52:29,440 --> 00:52:31,480
Speaker 2: some snacks for us to share. I then drove to

1151
00:52:31,560 --> 00:52:34,279
Speaker 2: her home and she wasn't there, So I waited and

1152
00:52:34,440 --> 00:52:37,120
Speaker 2: waited and waited. The calls and texts I sent her

1153
00:52:37,280 --> 00:52:40,120
Speaker 2: went unanswered. Time passed enough that we would be late

1154
00:52:40,160 --> 00:52:42,359
Speaker 2: for the movie even if we'd left as soon as

1155
00:52:42,360 --> 00:52:44,040
Speaker 2: she got home. I didn't know if she would even

1156
00:52:44,080 --> 00:52:46,640
Speaker 2: be ready to go when she got back. Immediately, my

1157
00:52:46,680 --> 00:52:49,120
Speaker 2: mind began to rearrange the schedule, we could get lunch

1158
00:52:49,160 --> 00:52:51,080
Speaker 2: first and then catch a later showing of the movie.

1159
00:52:51,120 --> 00:52:53,040
Speaker 2: But as I thought this, a voice in my head

1160
00:52:53,080 --> 00:52:55,879
Speaker 2: asked me, why why was I rearranging this. I had

1161
00:52:55,880 --> 00:52:57,680
Speaker 2: told her when I would be there. I had told

1162
00:52:57,680 --> 00:52:59,520
Speaker 2: her when the movie was all she had to do

1163
00:52:59,640 --> 00:53:01,200
Speaker 2: was wait for me to pick her up. And why

1164
00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:03,759
Speaker 2: wasn't she answering she always had her phone in her hand,

1165
00:53:03,840 --> 00:53:05,839
Speaker 2: so why wasn't she picking up it. Had already had

1166
00:53:05,840 --> 00:53:08,080
Speaker 2: a bad day at work the previous day, and all

1167
00:53:08,160 --> 00:53:09,960
Speaker 2: I wanted to do was spend some time with my

1168
00:53:10,080 --> 00:53:12,919
Speaker 2: friend and catch a movie. I started feeling angry at her,

1169
00:53:12,960 --> 00:53:15,480
Speaker 2: and I decided to just leave. Why wait for her?

1170
00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:18,120
Speaker 2: When I got home, she called me. I didn't answer it.

1171
00:53:18,239 --> 00:53:20,279
Speaker 2: She texted me an apology, saying she would take me

1172
00:53:20,320 --> 00:53:21,920
Speaker 2: out to lunch to make up for it. I ignored

1173
00:53:21,960 --> 00:53:24,000
Speaker 2: that too. I was angry and didn't want to lash

1174
00:53:24,000 --> 00:53:26,080
Speaker 2: out at her. The next day, I texted her back.

1175
00:53:26,200 --> 00:53:28,040
Speaker 2: I asked her why she didn't answer me when I

1176
00:53:28,080 --> 00:53:29,960
Speaker 2: tried to call her before the movie. She told me

1177
00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:31,960
Speaker 2: she didn't hear her phone ring in the diner they'd

1178
00:53:32,000 --> 00:53:34,319
Speaker 2: gone to. I asked her why she'd even left when

1179
00:53:34,360 --> 00:53:36,040
Speaker 2: she knew I was coming to get her. She said

1180
00:53:36,080 --> 00:53:37,719
Speaker 2: she just wanted to get something to eat and time

1181
00:53:37,800 --> 00:53:39,480
Speaker 2: had gotten away from her. That is not a good

1182
00:53:39,560 --> 00:53:42,040
Speaker 2: enough Flix use. But time will never get away from

1183
00:53:42,080 --> 00:53:45,040
Speaker 2: you if you Twinas live every weekda at three pmpst

1184
00:53:45,200 --> 00:53:47,200
Speaker 2: on YouTube. Just have her robile. Yeah. I don't think

1185
00:53:47,200 --> 00:53:49,920
Speaker 2: you owe this person anything. I think that she's mistreated you,

1186
00:53:50,320 --> 00:53:53,640
Speaker 2: and you already gave her a second chance. So there's

1187
00:53:53,760 --> 00:53:56,719
Speaker 2: just not much point, I think in continuing this relationship

1188
00:53:56,719 --> 00:53:59,000
Speaker 2: that is hurting you. At that point, I was angry again.

1189
00:53:59,200 --> 00:54:01,920
Speaker 2: She continued to give me excuses and apologies, but I

1190
00:54:01,960 --> 00:54:04,360
Speaker 2: was done. After everything that had happened, I felt like

1191
00:54:04,360 --> 00:54:06,239
Speaker 2: I didn't matter to her. I had always put her

1192
00:54:06,239 --> 00:54:09,239
Speaker 2: feelings first before because I'm a huge people pleaser, but

1193
00:54:09,280 --> 00:54:11,799
Speaker 2: she couldn't consider me just once. Was this how things

1194
00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:14,680
Speaker 2: were going to go if I kept hanging out with her.

1195
00:54:14,840 --> 00:54:17,000
Speaker 2: I told her I was done and our friendship was over.

1196
00:54:17,080 --> 00:54:18,880
Speaker 2: She told me she didn't want to lose our friendship

1197
00:54:18,920 --> 00:54:21,600
Speaker 2: because of one missed movie, but I didn't respond. My

1198
00:54:21,680 --> 00:54:24,040
Speaker 2: family thinks I did the right thing, but I can't

1199
00:54:24,120 --> 00:54:26,920
Speaker 2: help but feel guilty. Am I the a hole? No?

1200
00:54:27,480 --> 00:54:29,879
Speaker 2: You were not the a hole. You gave her another chance.

1201
00:54:29,880 --> 00:54:32,680
Speaker 2: As I said, you tried multiple times to have a

1202
00:54:32,680 --> 00:54:35,040
Speaker 2: friendship with her and be there for her. Right now,

1203
00:54:35,040 --> 00:54:37,000
Speaker 2: at least, she can't be there for you, and it

1204
00:54:37,080 --> 00:54:40,640
Speaker 2: is not your responsibility to just keep hurting yourself to

1205
00:54:40,760 --> 00:54:42,919
Speaker 2: help her. But that is the end of that story.

1206
00:54:43,000 --> 00:54:45,080
Speaker 1: If you want more stories like this, search for our

1207
00:54:45,160 --> 00:54:50,000
Speaker 1: podcast Okay Storytime on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you

1208
00:54:50,040 --> 00:54:50,920
Speaker 1: listen to podcasts.