Speaker 1: Misspelling with Tori Spelling and iHeartRadio Podcast.
Speaker 2: How have we known each other?
Speaker 1: Definitely by NB Like when we did NBC Upfronts, we
Speaker 1: were together because they did me, you, Russell Simmons, and
Speaker 1: Paris's show all together. They launched us for as like
Speaker 1: the Big what was the network? We were all oxygen,
Speaker 1: the Big Oxygen, like like power House Group. They launched
Speaker 1: us all at the same time to save that network and.
Speaker 3: That we're going to do it rich a girl, it's
Speaker 3: a crime network.
Speaker 2: Now, what do you mean?
Speaker 3: We we killed it but for and.
Speaker 4: We saved that net. We made that network. I feel
Speaker 4: like we did.
Speaker 3: I feel like we did.
Speaker 1: I feel like they too all crime, all crime. Every
Speaker 1: time I hear it was it.
Speaker 2: Was like women empowerment.
Speaker 1: I know, we don't even get reruns because we're you
Speaker 1: know what, I did see my Sewan Apple TV, So
Speaker 1: I guess they sold our shows to somebody. Yep, great,
Speaker 1: and tell my agent that I know, did you get
Speaker 1: back into on yours?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Oh good, look good.
Speaker 4: But if I don't tell people like oh so, it'll
Speaker 4: be like one of my shows it was like on
Speaker 4: Hulu and someone told me about it and I was like, oh,
Speaker 4: didn't know it was on there called.
Speaker 3: Yeah, they was just sitting in an account.
Speaker 2: Hundred twenty dollars.
Speaker 3: That's insane.
Speaker 2: I was like, that's how I.
Speaker 1: Feel about my music. I'm like, well, oday, somebody's going
Speaker 1: to tell me where it all is.
Speaker 3: I just don't know.
Speaker 2: How do you find that?
Speaker 1: You know, everybody makes it sound so complicated. I think
Speaker 1: that's on purpose. So right brain thinkers aren't normally like
Speaker 1: especially like highly gifted artists aren't necessarily left brain thinkers.
Speaker 1: To have both qualities equal out is rare, and so
Speaker 1: so many people just get into it, and the excitement
Speaker 1: of being able to create and being able to make
Speaker 1: art is so overwhelming that you're not checking on where
Speaker 1: your money is and what's your percentage on this and
Speaker 1: who's collecting and there's so many middlemen back in the day,
Speaker 1: Like we were discussing this earlier on this morning a
Speaker 1: group of my friends about like old industry versus new
Speaker 1: industry and how different it is and the adjustments that
Speaker 1: it takes are so.
Speaker 3: For people like us. I mean, I think probably a
Speaker 3: little bit.
Speaker 1: After me is where the cutoff of celebrities stop me
Speaker 1: as in like Danity, Kane Era and after too, but
Speaker 1: it's like right around where it's this cutoff occurred and
Speaker 1: now it's Tiktoker's YouTubers and the lot and there are
Speaker 1: many that get millions of viewers, and so there's they're
Speaker 1: not necessarily looked at for network shows that bring people back, right,
Speaker 1: they're not necessarily seen as you can't go over to
Speaker 1: those network shows and say, hey, get this TikToker.
Speaker 3: Maybe one or.
Speaker 1: Two have been able to transition, but from what I
Speaker 1: understand from most of my agent friends, it's just they
Speaker 1: can do really well on this platform, but when we
Speaker 1: try to give them a cooking show or something else,
Speaker 1: they don't do well on the other platforms. They don't
Speaker 1: translate everywhere. But you know, a celebrity and old school celebrity.
Speaker 1: Before there were no gatekeepers and everything was just widespread,
Speaker 1: and who are the gatekeepers? The gatekeepers are like the
Speaker 1: people that you had to prove yourself to in order
Speaker 1: to get through to be seen by the people. They
Speaker 1: can actually move and shake. In my industry, a lot
Speaker 1: of times it was like known that if even if
Speaker 1: they were talented, frankly, the girls would sleep with certain
Speaker 1: people in order to get in certain rooms. But this
Speaker 1: idea of gatekeepers very much was like, that's where it was.
Speaker 2: No one ever asked me to sleep with them anything.
Speaker 3: Well, you also, you grew up in something.
Speaker 1: You grew up in a family that's so iconic that
Speaker 1: if they did, there probably would have been severe consequences
Speaker 1: for them, potentially.
Speaker 2: Really, I just thought, I was like, why not me?
Speaker 1: No, no, no, they wanted you. Everybody wanted you know,
Speaker 1: and by the way, you don't want to be wanted.
Speaker 3: By those people. No, no, I know it's I wouldn't fuck.
Speaker 1: I don't think anyone would want to fuck with you
Speaker 1: in a way where it would get back to somebody
Speaker 1: who's powerful in the industry. I don't know a ton.
Speaker 1: I mean, obviously I know about your life. I was
Speaker 1: a huge nineo two and zo I was telling you
Speaker 1: the other.
Speaker 3: Day, I had a f Yeah you have a story,
Speaker 3: Oh my god.
Speaker 1: Okay, So I didn't actually, because I was such an
Speaker 1: artist and I was so into creating for most of
Speaker 1: my childhood, I didn't really hang out.
Speaker 3: With the popular kids.
Speaker 1: I was on dance team and a cheerleader and those things,
Speaker 1: because they were talent based activities that you auditioned for.
Speaker 3: But I didn't.
Speaker 1: I wasn't cool or the pretty girl or popular or
Speaker 1: any of that. I mean, I struggled to like not
Speaker 1: get beat up and get through the day.
Speaker 4: So like, which I'm sure is surprising for people to
Speaker 4: hear that. Maybe is that your perception or is that
Speaker 4: how it really was?
Speaker 3: Well, because I grew up in it, that's all I know.
Speaker 1: I think the perception of me is very different, and
Speaker 1: that's a perception. The first perception that was given to
Speaker 1: the world was kind of through Ditty's eyes or the
Speaker 1: eyes of the editors in the MTV editing base.
Speaker 3: But but who I was?
Speaker 1: I mean, man, I just came and was creative and
Speaker 1: whatever I did, and then how I was interpreted was
Speaker 1: what it was but or what it needed to be.
Speaker 3: But in all of that, like, wait, where were we
Speaker 3: on with this?
Speaker 1: I was going to Oh, Okay, So when I grew up,
Speaker 1: I didn't really like because I wasn't popular. I didn't
Speaker 1: go and date the boys or hook up with people
Speaker 1: or do anything. I didn't hook up with anyone. I
Speaker 1: wasn't like, I didn't care about boys. But you start
Speaker 1: feeling it as you get into like maybe I was
Speaker 1: probably later than everyone else because I had skip grades etc.
Speaker 1: But I started having those feelings of like, you know,
Speaker 1: liking a boy or whatever, but I never knew how
Speaker 1: to act on it or how to do anything. And
Speaker 1: so I kind of resonated with you the most as
Speaker 1: a child watching the show because you were this good
Speaker 1: girl on the show and you weren't gonna be out
Speaker 1: there in the streets.
Speaker 3: Like Brenda or Kelly.
Speaker 1: But you fell in love with the one guy, and
Speaker 1: there was this boy that kind of looked like Brian
Speaker 1: Austin Green and like he was like the boy that
Speaker 1: I always liked during that time. And then when you
Speaker 1: and I swear, I want to hug you right now, bitch,
Speaker 1: because when you got cheated on when they played Babyface
Speaker 1: and that fucking limo during that concert when he was
Speaker 1: dating the burnette girl with the curly hair.
Speaker 3: I will never forgive her.
Speaker 1: If I catch her in this, it's gonna be fists
Speaker 1: up and on this.
Speaker 2: I just saw her recently at a convention.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was literally I remember like watching that with the
Speaker 1: TV this far away from me, with tears running down
Speaker 1: my eyes, feeling like I've just lost the Like all
Speaker 1: of this time I spent with you, be doing the
Speaker 1: right thing, loving the right guy ringing like and then
Speaker 1: it just flips when a little who she comes by
Speaker 1: at the concert and Babyface.
Speaker 3: So now late years later, I was like.
Speaker 1: Recording in Babyface's studio and I went in and I
Speaker 1: told him like, you're, you know, iconic, and you know
Speaker 1: how much I loved him, And I.
Speaker 3: Was like, I have to be real.
Speaker 1: The first time I actually really was put onto you
Speaker 1: was through nine o two one, and my first thought
Speaker 1: whenever I even heard I was coming to your studio
Speaker 1: to record or meeting you, was you were the song
Speaker 1: that took out Donna Martin.
Speaker 3: When when Brian.
Speaker 1: Hooked up with that fucking burnette with the curly hair
Speaker 1: and the Limo Ariel Ariel, that little fucking skeezy ass
Speaker 1: ho I put in my behavor. Yeah, I was fucked
Speaker 1: up over it for a long time time. But anyways,
Speaker 1: yeah that was my little funny.
Speaker 4: Uh.
Speaker 1: And then every time I see say was he like,
Speaker 1: I don't even know if he remembered. I don't know
Speaker 1: if he remembered. I try, I can't I know how
Speaker 1: to like, he's such.
Speaker 3: An icon, I keep it at a minimum.
Speaker 1: Have you do you see the videos recently where like
Speaker 1: two girls like We're talking to him at the Grammys,
Speaker 1: and then like moved him aside to get to somebody else,
Speaker 1: and everyone was like, these girls need to be fired immediately,
Speaker 1: which I agree, Like I even though I have a
Speaker 1: cheesy story to tell Babyface, I kept it at a
Speaker 1: minimum out of respect for who he is. But that
Speaker 1: is actually like the first time that I when will
Speaker 1: I See You Again? Was the song that he was
Speaker 1: singing and Brian was in the limo, and anytime I
Speaker 1: get into a black limo, like I've always been nervous
Speaker 1: when a curly hair burnette gets around any man that
Speaker 1: I love, because you just don't know which it was so.
Speaker 2: In what is happening right now?
Speaker 3: It was impactful.
Speaker 1: It was it was we don't have these things anymore
Speaker 1: in our culture. My goddaughter does not have a show
Speaker 1: that she watches religiously on a standard network that everybody
Speaker 1: turns on at night.
Speaker 2: That it's not appointment TV anymore.
Speaker 1: It isn't it's whim and watch on your phone quickly,
Speaker 1: or watch while you're on your phone, because we need
Speaker 1: constant distraction.
Speaker 4: Right Well, it's affected me too, like I become like
Speaker 4: that and my friend to think.
Speaker 1: Like that, I can't get through movies lately, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: what is wrong with me? If it's a documentary, yes,
Speaker 1: but an actual movie, I can't do it.
Speaker 4: I'm just so we're being conditioned to adapt with the times,
Speaker 4: and it sucks. Aubrey's dog's here right now and he's eighteen.
Speaker 1: He's yeah, he's an old Papa's old obi.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh.
Speaker 4: So it's interesting, like you're saying this to me, and
Speaker 4: I'm thinking, like, you know me well and you know
Speaker 4: like I don't.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 4: I never think anybody knows so I am, or like
Speaker 4: so I am or what I It's hard for me
Speaker 4: to recognize an impact I've had.
Speaker 3: You're not you stay very humble.
Speaker 1: You're not very cocky, which I that's probably the only
Speaker 1: thing about you that I would like amp up in you,
Speaker 1: is that that uh.
Speaker 3: No fucks category.
Speaker 1: I would amp it up a little bit more for
Speaker 1: you because you are so iconic, and I don't think
Speaker 1: that there's any I don't believe that staying humble is
Speaker 1: where somebody who's incredibly talented, who has offered their talent
Speaker 1: to the world and impacted generations of people.
Speaker 3: I don't believe that they need to go and you.
Speaker 1: Know, still self deprecate to the women and whatever in
Speaker 1: order for people to you know, see them as iconic.
Speaker 1: I think you can walk in bold and say, these
Speaker 1: are all the things that I've done. Now, let me
Speaker 1: tell you where I'm going and what I'm expecting to
Speaker 1: do with this room today.
Speaker 2: You don't have that switch though, I don't have what's
Speaker 2: your sign? Taurus?
Speaker 3: Oh god, I don't know enough about toros? Are you Aquarius?
Speaker 1: So we very we very much are like we we
Speaker 1: say a lot of the things that most people don't say.
Speaker 3: We're known to be those type of people. Were also
Speaker 3: like very like highly philanthropic.
Speaker 1: We give, We're very aware and active in regards to causes,
Speaker 1: and so we stay informed. Usually so when I walk
Speaker 1: in places like if we're not speaking the same language
Speaker 1: and I need something to get done, I'm just very
Speaker 1: blunt about what needs to occur, whereas you don't necessarily
Speaker 1: do that. When I've seen you and been with you,
Speaker 1: and I wonder, I don't know exactly how you're growing
Speaker 1: up was so it probably is some type of conditioning
Speaker 1: that happened with your mom and dad.
Speaker 3: I don't know, correct, Yeah.
Speaker 4: And I don't even know if it was so much
Speaker 4: from them, just what I perceived from an early age,
Speaker 4: like being aware at even five, like, oh, I'm a
Speaker 4: representation of my dad. My dad is famous, and no
Speaker 4: one sat me down, no one told me it was
Speaker 4: like when we go out, I just was quickly tuned
Speaker 4: into this is probably who I need to be. And
Speaker 4: from that moment on, I watched myself to everybody else's eyes,
Speaker 4: and I've never watched myself through my eyes.
Speaker 1: Do you want to know another human being that said
Speaker 1: the exact same thing to me, almost verbatim. Don Junior Really,
Speaker 1: same thing, same life, same understanding of never really being
Speaker 1: able to find his own identity because the pressure of
Speaker 1: being born into a last name is something that you
Speaker 1: never really get over it. I think you can. That's
Speaker 1: why I was trying to bring him down the path
Speaker 1: of glory in my opinion, but it didn't work obviously,
Speaker 1: So I don't know if you can. But I understand
Speaker 1: that to degrees that without you even having to get
Speaker 1: into it, I understand what.
Speaker 3: You just said very deeply.
Speaker 1: It's just a life that nobody will really understand unless
Speaker 1: you've gone in depth and loved somebody that's gone through
Speaker 1: that or you are a person that's gone through that.
Speaker 1: It's very it's very strange to be born into an
Speaker 1: identity that you had no control. It's very som learned
Speaker 1: therapy and trauma therapy to somebody who gets assaulted at
Speaker 1: a young age or has abuse occurring at a young
Speaker 1: age because they didn't know any better, they didn't ask
Speaker 1: for it. It wasn't a choice that they made, and
Speaker 1: they had to then after that see themselves through the
Speaker 1: eyes of it for the rest of time.
Speaker 3: And that's not really fair, is it.
Speaker 1: It's not what everyone's experience is with life, and so
Speaker 1: they kind of live a life that where they're a
Speaker 1: bit removed from every room that they're in because just
Speaker 1: nobody truly understands what that feels like except others that
Speaker 1: have been in it.
Speaker 2: Absolutely.
Speaker 4: Yeah, my therapist called it on some level and annihilation.
Speaker 2: Of the soul.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree with that, definitely, an annihilation of the soul.
Speaker 1: And if you don't correct it, it can get very extreme.
Speaker 1: I mean, drugs are incredible at helping things like that.
Speaker 1: I think all of us celebrities like no, at least
Speaker 1: I'm talking old school celebrity. I don't know what the
Speaker 1: young kids. Everybody's doing pink cocaine. Now I did it
Speaker 1: when it was white, but I yeah, there's.
Speaker 2: Like pink colored cocaine.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's called something. Do you go. You guys are young?
Speaker 3: What is the pink cocaine?
Speaker 2: Guys are young?
Speaker 1: It's called something. But like, yeah, all the kids do
Speaker 1: pink cocaine. I'm like, I don't want my cocaine pink.
Speaker 1: The fuck is I would be scared to die.
Speaker 3: But too sy Trey talks about it in music called
Speaker 3: to Sy to Sy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And so you'll hear rappers talking about the Two Sea,
Speaker 1: got the girls fucked up in the club on the
Speaker 1: Two Sea, Like the fuck, I'm too old for that shit.
Speaker 1: I don't understand it. And if I saw pink cocaine,
Speaker 1: I wouldn't. I would think we were doing a baking
Speaker 1: recipe or something.
Speaker 3: I would not. I would not. I would not think
Speaker 3: to snort it.
Speaker 1: But that's what I'm saying, is like back in that time,
Speaker 1: I noticed when trauma, when the trauma starts sitting in
Speaker 1: and you're at you know, fame goes.
Speaker 3: Up and down.
Speaker 1: If you're lucky, you get a lot of if you're
Speaker 1: lucky to stay. I mean I came in at like
Speaker 1: I think around seventeen, and I'm forty one now and
Speaker 1: I've not had a real job yet, so like I'm
Speaker 1: still in entertainment.
Speaker 3: So it's there's spend time.
Speaker 1: Around job god, real job, real life, real personality or care.
Speaker 1: I mean, everything I do is from my authentic self.
Speaker 2: I think that's why I think you do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I create everything I do, So I think that's
Speaker 1: why I'm not I'm not able to move as high
Speaker 1: up as I would like a lot of the times.
Speaker 1: And why I've been around a lot of people who
Speaker 1: are very high up. I see what they're willing to
Speaker 1: compromise in order to get there, and I just can't.
Speaker 1: So when I show up to things, if it gets
Speaker 1: to a degree that is annoying at this point, just annoying,
Speaker 1: it's the word. But back in the day, it was
Speaker 1: like bending my integrity. I'm gonna have to say something.
Speaker 1: And when you say something is when they ask you
Speaker 1: to go home and you're no longer there anymore. So
Speaker 1: anything that you've ever seen me on where I got
Speaker 1: taken out early and it was clear that I should
Speaker 1: have been there a lot longer, That's what really occurred.
Speaker 4: I mean, everyone obviously knows making up the band, and that.
Speaker 3: Was one of them.
Speaker 1: That's when I can talk of There's a few others
Speaker 1: I'm contractually still under, but so.
Speaker 2: That one you can talk about.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I'll.
Speaker 1: Talk about anything as much as I can. You know,
Speaker 1: some contracts are lower than others. But yeah, I think,
Speaker 1: like i've I saw a lot of integrity lines just
Speaker 1: operating lower.
Speaker 3: And no judgment to those people.
Speaker 1: They're doing a lot better, their bank accounts are bigger,
Speaker 1: they run the world. All the girlies want to be them,
Speaker 1: but I know what they were doing to get to
Speaker 1: where they got and there's just absolutely no way that
Speaker 1: I could have done any of that. And I knew
Speaker 1: it very early on. I really tried to become besties.
Speaker 3: With all of the it girls to see what it was.
Speaker 1: And every time I became besties with every single one
Speaker 1: of them, I realized, and after you know, multiple period
Speaker 1: of months or years or time, there's nothing really unique
Speaker 1: and special here. This is just a very big organization
Speaker 1: and it's all very worked through and there are.
Speaker 2: A lot of people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's almost like it's what our old manager, Johnny Wright,
Speaker 1: when we first got on making the band he said
Speaker 1: to me. At one point, when you know, there was
Speaker 1: turmoils that were starting to occur. We went out to
Speaker 1: dinner and he said, you know, you're the leader of
Speaker 1: this group.
Speaker 3: You're the star.
Speaker 1: And I'm like, no, we're all we all sing equal,
Speaker 1: We're all equal in this group. None of us would
Speaker 1: ever we sing equally, We danced weekly, we.
Speaker 3: Do everything equally.
Speaker 1: And he was like, yeah, that's cute and all, but
Speaker 1: the audience has decided, the world decided you were the star.
Speaker 1: And because of that, you now have this responsibility to
Speaker 1: make sure that this group stays together. And I want
Speaker 1: to tell you one important thing for you to always
Speaker 1: remember in that position. The manager, the agent, the head
Speaker 1: of the label, your directors at the labels, your A
Speaker 1: and R, all the way down to your lawyers, agents, managers,
Speaker 1: even your fucking CPAs.
Speaker 3: We will all be here for the.
Speaker 1: Next sixteen to sixty girl groups that come after you.
Speaker 1: We will still be here with what comes after you
Speaker 1: and what we make after you. You are the most
Speaker 1: disposable and at the time it felt so.
Speaker 2: Real and the unquote leader, no, the.
Speaker 1: Artist, the person making the creations that the whole world
Speaker 1: falls in love with, is the most disposable piece. And
Speaker 1: that's what none of us understand. When we get in
Speaker 1: and the first time that we're disposed of, it breaks
Speaker 1: our fucking heart, and it breaks our heart so badly,
Speaker 1: and sometimes the pain hurts so much that you need
Speaker 1: to go to a doctor and talk to someone or
Speaker 1: be seen. A lot of times, especially back then, they
Speaker 1: were throwing pills around like crazy. That's why you have
Speaker 1: so many people and a little bit older and my
Speaker 1: generation all are taking pills a little bit younger on
Speaker 1: and off. Got some got into it, some didn't. I
Speaker 1: guess the new kids are doing toucy or nothing. I
Speaker 1: don't know what they're doing. They'll have to speak for themselves.
Speaker 1: But there's a lot of hurt in this industry because,
Speaker 1: like I said, the trauma comes in and it comes out,
Speaker 1: and you're disposed of when necessary, you're brought back when necessary.
Speaker 1: We are literally like marbles that people toss around, and
Speaker 1: to us, we are so serious about the products that
Speaker 1: we make and the work that we do. If you
Speaker 1: really are a real artist, you go home and you
Speaker 1: can't detach from your art. You think about it all
Speaker 1: night till you go to sleep, until you start becoming
Speaker 1: an insomniac and you can't fucking sleep anymore because you
Speaker 1: have so many thoughts. So then you have to go
Speaker 1: visit somebody and get something to take so you can
Speaker 1: so you could show up to work to do your
Speaker 1: job the next day.
Speaker 2: It all is, how do you very?
Speaker 1: I'm that sleep is still a very very hard thing
Speaker 1: for me. I mean, I thought that I moved to
Speaker 1: Bali because I was put on ambient at a very
Speaker 1: young age.
Speaker 3: By somebody else's doctors. That is a horrible.
Speaker 1: Drug, and I did not know in long term periods
Speaker 1: of taking it that it causes depression and a lot
Speaker 1: of like fits of crying and things like that. As
Speaker 1: I started to look up symptomatics of long term use,
Speaker 1: there was like a year where I cried so much.
Speaker 1: I think, I like, I'd be better off telling you
Speaker 1: the days that I didn't cry than that I did.
Speaker 1: It just got to be and the feeling that you
Speaker 1: get when you take it. I compare it only because
Speaker 1: I've never really gotten into like hard drugs. But when
Speaker 1: I watch people on Intervention and they like shoot heroin
Speaker 1: and they go and they fall back, I'm like, that's
Speaker 1: kind of what ambien does. All that that weight that's
Speaker 1: on my chest.
Speaker 2: And major drugs, but like that.
Speaker 1: That one is that one's and no other thing that
Speaker 1: they've given me for sleep does that except.
Speaker 2: Dancause it knocks you out.
Speaker 3: It knocks you out, but it gets you high first
Speaker 3: and then long term.
Speaker 2: Used to get you high. I just eat.
Speaker 1: That's the high period when you concot the whole thing
Speaker 1: in your fridge. Yeah, I mean I'd wake up the
Speaker 1: next morning with like ramen noodles and ketchup and a
Speaker 1: bunch of things in a bowl, like what in the
Speaker 1: fuck happened last night?
Speaker 4: It used to be kind of fun for me till
Speaker 4: it wasn't fun where I'd be like, oh, piecing the
Speaker 4: night together?
Speaker 3: By what I Yes, piecing the night together is a
Speaker 3: big one with me.
Speaker 4: I came up in the moment what I thought was
Speaker 4: the best recipes ever.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I think I did too.
Speaker 2: But then when you wake up an cookbook.
Speaker 1: At some point, I wrote an entire book on ambien
Speaker 1: in the shower and I couldn't remember.
Speaker 3: It to this day. And I'm so pissed because it
Speaker 3: was a winner. Yeah yeah, really it was a winner.
Speaker 4: But what it does is it's horrible you lose that
Speaker 4: knowing how to almost going back to childhood, settling and
Speaker 4: putting yourself to sleep, which is a really important key thing.
Speaker 4: It's like a child just you need a blanket, that
Speaker 4: downtime winding down your brain to shut down, and it
Speaker 4: eliminates that because it just gets you from A to
Speaker 4: B super quick knock out.
Speaker 1: Also, when you're in certain levels of sleep, it's correcting
Speaker 1: your body. It's fixing your cells. It's it's it's like
Speaker 1: do It's like when you go to bed and you're
Speaker 1: in real sleep and you're in a stage five or whatever,
Speaker 1: a deep sleep. Your body's in there working away correcting itself,
Speaker 1: fixing the cells that are abnormal. Like it's it's putting
Speaker 1: itself back together so that you can then wake up
Speaker 1: and knock your adrenal glens out the whole fucking day
Speaker 1: with great stress. So it's like when you're not getting that,
Speaker 1: I think that's probably where the long term depression kicks
Speaker 1: in with that drug, because if you're never correcting it,
Speaker 1: then you're really always working in a state of what
Speaker 1: had a therapist one.
Speaker 3: Time that said something to me that was so real.
Speaker 1: They said, your entire personality is a trauma response based personality,
Speaker 1: and then I started thinking about all these wonderful things
Speaker 1: I know about myself to be true, but they all
Speaker 1: arose through a trauma based situation. I'm just very when
Speaker 1: I would go in and people would ask what my
Speaker 1: strengths are in any given situation, It's just like, if
Speaker 1: we have no budget, I can make it look like
Speaker 1: we did and I would impress the most impressive people.
Speaker 1: If there's problems, I don't really run around and talk
Speaker 1: about them with everyone. I just am like, I'm solution oriented.
Speaker 1: What is the solution. I'm really good at self deprecating
Speaker 1: and maneuvering different types of personalities and doing what I
Speaker 1: need to do and never to hurt anyone. But I'm
Speaker 1: pretty good at positive manipulation. I got good at it
Speaker 1: and Danity Kane because there were so many different personality
Speaker 1: types and we all needed to be on one page,
Speaker 1: and when we weren't, we were a mess and we
Speaker 1: were losing business. So I got used to knowing this
Speaker 1: one always needs to feel like, but he's in charge
Speaker 1: of positive I don't know there's probably an actual technical
Speaker 1: term for it that therapists used, but like positive manipulation,
Speaker 1: when people ask, are you manipulative. I'm thinking to myself,
Speaker 1: I have manipulated so many things to come to existence
Speaker 1: that have been incredible, Like every single Danity Cane tour
Speaker 1: after did he pulled us apart?
Speaker 3: Like every single job I've ever gotten.
Speaker 1: I'll go in one room and say, well I already
Speaker 1: have this, so if you don't want it, I'll go
Speaker 1: over here. Then they want me all of a sudden.
Speaker 1: That's manipulating, but it's for the positive. It's moving everything
Speaker 1: in a direction as well, right, yeah, for it. It's
Speaker 1: a positive direction for all, but it's still there's still
Speaker 1: factors of manipulation involved in it.
Speaker 4: And I am just being able to into people and
Speaker 4: read people. I think when there are certain I do
Speaker 4: the same.
Speaker 2: But I call it.
Speaker 4: I'm really good at playing the game of chess in life,
Speaker 4: like I can't play the actual game.
Speaker 3: Game of chess. Is a game of chess is manipulation.
Speaker 3: You're manipulating. I guess I compone it all the time.
Speaker 2: I have a negative connotation where I think about but.
Speaker 3: I know, and that's that's one thing.
Speaker 1: Like that's why I love using words that scare people
Speaker 1: a little more than maybe other.
Speaker 3: People do, because if you really get it.
Speaker 1: First of all, when I was in Bali, I got
Speaker 1: down to a point when I arrived there, I was like,
Speaker 1: never saying any words that were negative. I wouldn't even
Speaker 1: curse because what about my life do I want to put.
Speaker 3: A curse on?
Speaker 1: And then I was taking it so seriously and as
Speaker 1: I was starting to really get into myself because there,
Speaker 1: I'm not a celebrity. There's no TV, there's no billboards,
Speaker 1: there's no entertainment, there's no nothing in that regard.
Speaker 3: So I didn't ever think when.
Speaker 1: I walked out of the house, if there's paparazzi on
Speaker 1: me right now, how bad are the fat photos going
Speaker 1: to be? How bad are the she's a fucked up
Speaker 1: plastic surgery nightmare or whatever the fuck they're gonna say
Speaker 1: this week?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: I have to actively think about that every day, because
Speaker 1: the second you don't think about it, and all the
Speaker 1: people around you tell you you're doing too much, is
Speaker 1: when you end up on the cover of something looking
Speaker 1: a hot fucking mess, and you really wish you would
Speaker 1: have just trusted your instincts. If you've ever if you've
Speaker 1: ever been in that position and been like I said
Speaker 1: this to someone one time, my girlfriends. I was like,
Speaker 1: how many times have you guys felt just deep humiliation
Speaker 1: in life? And maybe one most of them said not really. Ever,
Speaker 1: one or two said they accidentally sent like a nasty
Speaker 1: message about their a coworker with their girlfriend that they
Speaker 1: were sending to like everybody on the team, and the
Speaker 1: coworker saw it, and they got punished at work or
Speaker 1: fired or whatever, and it was I was fucking humiliating.
Speaker 1: It was a bad day in their life, right, that's
Speaker 1: the normal job, normal life type of humiliation. Our type
Speaker 1: of humiliation is very different, and it's on a world scale.
Speaker 1: And they'll even it may not even be real. Most
Speaker 1: of the time. Most of the things that have been
Speaker 1: said about me are not. When I go through headlines,
Speaker 1: if I don't even I used to enjoy googling myself
Speaker 1: because I could see how much I had done. It
Speaker 1: got to a point where that flipped and that side
Speaker 1: of pr and that the way that they were moving
Speaker 1: for a while. Thank god, they're damn narrow, nonexistent and
Speaker 1: don't have jobs to do anymore at this stage time.
Speaker 3: That's when that makes.
Speaker 1: Me a little happy that the gatekeeping has died down,
Speaker 1: because those people had to go away, But the way
Speaker 1: they were able to just fully take people out at
Speaker 1: certain points in this industry were they had a lot
Speaker 1: of control. Certain people had a lot of control just
Speaker 1: taking someone's entire career out just with a publicity stunt,
Speaker 1: or make somebody an entire career just with a fake
Speaker 1: sex tape of this, so that like these things were
Speaker 1: being crafted in rooms with.
Speaker 2: Girl.
Speaker 3: I have all my friends that did it and are huge.
Speaker 1: I that's one of those integrity things, So I wouldn't
Speaker 1: have been able to do it. And I know exactly
Speaker 1: how to do it and how it worked, and who
Speaker 1: the players were and how they got it stolen from
Speaker 1: their house and it was their private tape. So the
Speaker 1: world feels bad for them, but really they settle in Core.
Speaker 1: They sue the evil porn company, but porn companies don't
Speaker 1: care that if you.
Speaker 3: Call them evil.
Speaker 1: They don't care about bad reputations. They technically are a
Speaker 1: bad reputation, and then everyone settled, but no one talks
Speaker 1: about that.
Speaker 3: They don't. I think for some people, I'm sure it was.
Speaker 1: But they're initially, but I think I know who's were
Speaker 1: and who's weren't. So to you, because they're worse there
Speaker 1: worn't there There is somebody that did have one stolen,
Speaker 1: and we don't.
Speaker 3: We want to be fair to that person.
Speaker 1: But for the others that did the whole deal, you know,
Speaker 1: it's sue the evil porn company show the world how
Speaker 1: it's not it's not your fault, and how this was
Speaker 1: a personal, private experience. A lot of people do this,
Speaker 1: This is natural in relationships. But then this evil porn
Speaker 1: company released it and caused all this damage. And then
Speaker 1: they settle out of a court for the disclosed amount
Speaker 1: that they basically did the deal for. And sometimes they
Speaker 1: did multiple versions of the tape until they were happy
Speaker 1: with how they looked in it.
Speaker 3: I mean, that's how a career was built at a
Speaker 3: certain time.
Speaker 1: And I was rising at that time, and I would
Speaker 1: be over here at Madison Square Garden and a couple
Speaker 1: paparazzi would call for Danity Kane every now and then.
Speaker 1: Then I would come back over here with my besties
Speaker 1: and they were climbing on the cars if we just
Speaker 1: went to coffee, and I started to realize, holy shit,
Speaker 1: like this super talented area over here is getting none
Speaker 1: and this area over here is where the fuck it's at.
Speaker 1: Then I started going back to this area when the
Speaker 1: brakes were done, and that area then started to become
Speaker 1: more popping because everybody said, hey, So and So's best
Speaker 1: friend Aubrey, stay back, Aubrey, we want Aubrey, Aubrey.
Speaker 3: Stay back.
Speaker 1: And so then it started separating me from my very
Speaker 1: talented sisters. And there was already separations occurring with Puff
Speaker 1: and so on and so forth. So like the way
Speaker 1: that I watched everything almost transition in front of my face,
Speaker 1: I mean, I learned music through watching some of the
Speaker 1: greatest acts in the world making killer shows on the Grammys,
Speaker 1: but none of them Mike's were on. All that shit
Speaker 1: was pre recorded for the most part. Then when I
Speaker 1: came up, it was like John Legend and Alicia Keys
Speaker 1: were front like the face of the Grammys, and everybody's
Speaker 1: mics were on.
Speaker 3: Then, and I grew up in.
Speaker 1: The industry with a man who made sure that the
Speaker 1: mics were on and made sure that every embarrassing fuck
Speaker 1: up that you do is shown so you can't fuck up.
Speaker 1: I mean, we were literally taught do not ever cover
Speaker 1: a song of a singer that is better than you.
Speaker 1: That was like golden rule, do not ever sing in
Speaker 1: front of people that are better singers. When I went
Speaker 1: on Celebrity Apprentice.
Speaker 2: And I love her singer then well girl when.
Speaker 1: They started when I was on when I did Celebrity Apprentice,
Speaker 1: and this is no shade to her because I love
Speaker 1: her like a sister.
Speaker 3: Debbie Gibson would sing all the time.
Speaker 1: And I can talk about this because I did shade
Speaker 1: her a little in the interviews, So we've already gotten
Speaker 1: past this part of our friendship. But she would annoy
Speaker 1: me so deeply and it had nothing to do with her.
Speaker 1: I didn't realize this till years after. I don't even
Speaker 1: know if I ever told her this. Hopefully she watches
Speaker 1: and sees, but she annoyed me so deeply on that
Speaker 1: show and people would probably just see whatever I.
Speaker 3: Said in clip. But it's in the car when we
Speaker 3: would drive.
Speaker 1: To set every morning, she just would sing, sing, si, sing, sing, sing.
Speaker 3: Every which way.
Speaker 1: Every type of artists Whitney, that's just when you don't
Speaker 1: sing unless you could sing like Whitney are better than her.
Speaker 1: She would just be belting it out early in the
Speaker 1: morning and I would just be sitting there.
Speaker 3: She would grind my nerves.
Speaker 1: So bad and I would literally be like even if
Speaker 1: you didn't buy tickets, you're getting no fucking show from
Speaker 1: Debbie Gibson. And even if you didn't want to go
Speaker 1: to the concert, you're getting it. Like that was the
Speaker 1: famous line. I sat on the show. But years later
Speaker 1: I realized it's not that I didn't love that she
Speaker 1: was singing things out of her ability or whatever. It's
Speaker 1: that she just had grown up in a time in
Speaker 1: the music industry where people just loved to see Debbie
Speaker 1: Gibson do anything. She was so iconic, and the second
Speaker 1: she opened her mouth, they were just they just loved her.
Speaker 1: I mean music artists and especially people in pop music,
Speaker 1: which those rooms look a lot different than urban music, and.
Speaker 3: I guess applaud you a lot differently than urban music.
Speaker 3: But she really thought it was it was cool. She
Speaker 3: was on the swirl night.
Speaker 4: And day, and for me, she thought that though or
Speaker 4: she just enjoyed all of it so well.
Speaker 1: All of it, all of it. I don't think she
Speaker 1: ever knew when she was off. I think she loves singing.
Speaker 1: I think, and she's she's genuine as fuck. I love Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's my sister for life. But but we've laughed about this,
Speaker 1: But like she just loved singing. She would do it
Speaker 1: all the time, didn't care if it was off key,
Speaker 1: didn't care if she was doing something and things. And
Speaker 1: I didn't realize until much later. I don't even know
Speaker 1: that I'll ever get over this piece because I was
Speaker 1: trained so young by Diddy and he's so good at
Speaker 1: what he does. But I realized later I just really
Speaker 1: was annoyed by her because she had a freedom that
Speaker 1: I didn't. Oh wow, interesting, yeah, because I sing off
Speaker 1: key too, So what the fuck?
Speaker 3: I don't sing off key as much as she does,
Speaker 3: but I've sing a key.
Speaker 2: You are a condition that it wasn't okay.
Speaker 1: It was not okay, And every time she did it,
Speaker 1: I was like, what music industry did she come in?
Speaker 3: Who the fuck was producing? And we're how does she
Speaker 3: have what I have?
Speaker 1: I had so many questions because it just was not
Speaker 1: ever okay to step outside of what.
Speaker 3: Did He will let you know what you did. And
Speaker 3: by the way, he wasn't wrong. He made me a star.
Speaker 1: He told the world I was one talented and all
Speaker 1: of the above in every area.
Speaker 2: You made yourself a star. But he was instrumental