1 00:00:08,600 --> 00:00:12,680 Speaker 1: Misspelling with Tori Spelling and iHeartRadio Podcast. 2 00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:16,239 Speaker 2: How have we known each other? 3 00:00:17,239 --> 00:00:20,639 Speaker 1: Definitely by NB Like when we did NBC Upfronts, we 4 00:00:20,680 --> 00:00:25,799 Speaker 1: were together because they did me, you, Russell Simmons, and 5 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:29,159 Speaker 1: Paris's show all together. They launched us for as like 6 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:31,800 Speaker 1: the Big what was the network? We were all oxygen, 7 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:36,880 Speaker 1: the Big Oxygen, like like power House Group. They launched 8 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:39,440 Speaker 1: us all at the same time to save that network and. 9 00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:41,080 Speaker 3: That we're going to do it rich a girl, it's 10 00:00:41,080 --> 00:00:41,800 Speaker 3: a crime network. 11 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:42,640 Speaker 2: Now, what do you mean? 12 00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:45,360 Speaker 3: We we killed it but for and. 13 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:47,840 Speaker 4: We saved that net. We made that network. I feel 14 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:48,440 Speaker 4: like we did. 15 00:00:48,600 --> 00:00:49,560 Speaker 3: I feel like we did. 16 00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:52,280 Speaker 1: I feel like they too all crime, all crime. Every 17 00:00:52,280 --> 00:00:53,640 Speaker 1: time I hear it was it. 18 00:00:53,720 --> 00:00:54,920 Speaker 2: Was like women empowerment. 19 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:57,320 Speaker 1: I know, we don't even get reruns because we're you 20 00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:59,160 Speaker 1: know what, I did see my Sewan Apple TV, So 21 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:02,560 Speaker 1: I guess they sold our shows to somebody. Yep, great, 22 00:01:02,600 --> 00:01:04,959 Speaker 1: and tell my agent that I know, did you get 23 00:01:04,959 --> 00:01:05,839 Speaker 1: back into on yours? 24 00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:06,200 Speaker 2: Yeah? 25 00:01:06,319 --> 00:01:07,160 Speaker 3: Oh good, look good. 26 00:01:07,200 --> 00:01:09,560 Speaker 4: But if I don't tell people like oh so, it'll 27 00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:11,440 Speaker 4: be like one of my shows it was like on 28 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:13,960 Speaker 4: Hulu and someone told me about it and I was like, oh, 29 00:01:14,240 --> 00:01:16,160 Speaker 4: didn't know it was on there called. 30 00:01:15,959 --> 00:01:18,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, they was just sitting in an account. 31 00:01:17,720 --> 00:01:18,720 Speaker 2: Hundred twenty dollars. 32 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:20,120 Speaker 3: That's insane. 33 00:01:20,240 --> 00:01:21,200 Speaker 2: I was like, that's how I. 34 00:01:21,160 --> 00:01:23,520 Speaker 1: Feel about my music. I'm like, well, oday, somebody's going 35 00:01:23,600 --> 00:01:24,600 Speaker 1: to tell me where it all is. 36 00:01:24,680 --> 00:01:25,480 Speaker 3: I just don't know. 37 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:26,679 Speaker 2: How do you find that? 38 00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:30,480 Speaker 1: You know, everybody makes it sound so complicated. I think 39 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:34,960 Speaker 1: that's on purpose. So right brain thinkers aren't normally like 40 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:39,720 Speaker 1: especially like highly gifted artists aren't necessarily left brain thinkers. 41 00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:43,040 Speaker 1: To have both qualities equal out is rare, and so 42 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:45,399 Speaker 1: so many people just get into it, and the excitement 43 00:01:45,400 --> 00:01:47,400 Speaker 1: of being able to create and being able to make 44 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:50,800 Speaker 1: art is so overwhelming that you're not checking on where 45 00:01:50,840 --> 00:01:53,760 Speaker 1: your money is and what's your percentage on this and 46 00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:56,720 Speaker 1: who's collecting and there's so many middlemen back in the day, 47 00:01:56,960 --> 00:02:00,680 Speaker 1: Like we were discussing this earlier on this morning a 48 00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:03,880 Speaker 1: group of my friends about like old industry versus new 49 00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:07,600 Speaker 1: industry and how different it is and the adjustments that 50 00:02:07,680 --> 00:02:08,760 Speaker 1: it takes are so. 51 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:13,600 Speaker 3: For people like us. I mean, I think probably a 52 00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:14,200 Speaker 3: little bit. 53 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:17,320 Speaker 1: After me is where the cutoff of celebrities stop me 54 00:02:17,360 --> 00:02:20,640 Speaker 1: as in like Danity, Kane Era and after too, but 55 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:24,040 Speaker 1: it's like right around where it's this cutoff occurred and 56 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:27,639 Speaker 1: now it's Tiktoker's YouTubers and the lot and there are 57 00:02:27,800 --> 00:02:30,639 Speaker 1: many that get millions of viewers, and so there's they're 58 00:02:30,680 --> 00:02:34,360 Speaker 1: not necessarily looked at for network shows that bring people back, right, 59 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:37,440 Speaker 1: they're not necessarily seen as you can't go over to 60 00:02:37,600 --> 00:02:40,360 Speaker 1: those network shows and say, hey, get this TikToker. 61 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:41,200 Speaker 3: Maybe one or. 62 00:02:41,160 --> 00:02:43,920 Speaker 1: Two have been able to transition, but from what I 63 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:47,079 Speaker 1: understand from most of my agent friends, it's just they 64 00:02:47,120 --> 00:02:49,160 Speaker 1: can do really well on this platform, but when we 65 00:02:49,200 --> 00:02:51,400 Speaker 1: try to give them a cooking show or something else, 66 00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:54,160 Speaker 1: they don't do well on the other platforms. They don't 67 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:57,840 Speaker 1: translate everywhere. But you know, a celebrity and old school celebrity. 68 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:01,000 Speaker 1: Before there were no gatekeepers and everything was just widespread, 69 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:05,040 Speaker 1: and who are the gatekeepers? The gatekeepers are like the 70 00:03:05,080 --> 00:03:08,040 Speaker 1: people that you had to prove yourself to in order 71 00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,440 Speaker 1: to get through to be seen by the people. They 72 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:13,200 Speaker 1: can actually move and shake. In my industry, a lot 73 00:03:13,200 --> 00:03:16,600 Speaker 1: of times it was like known that if even if 74 00:03:16,600 --> 00:03:19,040 Speaker 1: they were talented, frankly, the girls would sleep with certain 75 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:21,680 Speaker 1: people in order to get in certain rooms. But this 76 00:03:21,880 --> 00:03:26,160 Speaker 1: idea of gatekeepers very much was like, that's where it was. 77 00:03:26,320 --> 00:03:28,600 Speaker 2: No one ever asked me to sleep with them anything. 78 00:03:28,639 --> 00:03:30,760 Speaker 3: Well, you also, you grew up in something. 79 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:33,280 Speaker 1: You grew up in a family that's so iconic that 80 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:36,560 Speaker 1: if they did, there probably would have been severe consequences 81 00:03:36,560 --> 00:03:37,640 Speaker 1: for them, potentially. 82 00:03:37,840 --> 00:03:39,640 Speaker 2: Really, I just thought, I was like, why not me? 83 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:43,320 Speaker 1: No, no, no, they wanted you. Everybody wanted you know, 84 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:45,360 Speaker 1: and by the way, you don't want to be wanted. 85 00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 3: By those people. No, no, I know it's I wouldn't fuck. 86 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:51,160 Speaker 1: I don't think anyone would want to fuck with you 87 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 1: in a way where it would get back to somebody 88 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,440 Speaker 1: who's powerful in the industry. I don't know a ton. 89 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:58,560 Speaker 1: I mean, obviously I know about your life. I was 90 00:03:58,600 --> 00:04:00,400 Speaker 1: a huge nineo two and zo I was telling you 91 00:04:00,440 --> 00:04:00,760 Speaker 1: the other. 92 00:04:00,720 --> 00:04:02,240 Speaker 3: Day, I had a f Yeah you have a story, 93 00:04:02,320 --> 00:04:02,760 Speaker 3: Oh my god. 94 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:06,320 Speaker 1: Okay, So I didn't actually, because I was such an 95 00:04:06,400 --> 00:04:08,400 Speaker 1: artist and I was so into creating for most of 96 00:04:08,440 --> 00:04:10,680 Speaker 1: my childhood, I didn't really hang out. 97 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:11,920 Speaker 3: With the popular kids. 98 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,400 Speaker 1: I was on dance team and a cheerleader and those things, 99 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:17,360 Speaker 1: because they were talent based activities that you auditioned for. 100 00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:18,360 Speaker 3: But I didn't. 101 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:21,719 Speaker 1: I wasn't cool or the pretty girl or popular or 102 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:23,719 Speaker 1: any of that. I mean, I struggled to like not 103 00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:25,120 Speaker 1: get beat up and get through the day. 104 00:04:25,720 --> 00:04:27,880 Speaker 4: So like, which I'm sure is surprising for people to 105 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:30,919 Speaker 4: hear that. Maybe is that your perception or is that 106 00:04:30,960 --> 00:04:31,719 Speaker 4: how it really was? 107 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:34,159 Speaker 3: Well, because I grew up in it, that's all I know. 108 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:37,520 Speaker 1: I think the perception of me is very different, and 109 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:39,760 Speaker 1: that's a perception. The first perception that was given to 110 00:04:39,800 --> 00:04:42,120 Speaker 1: the world was kind of through Ditty's eyes or the 111 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:44,599 Speaker 1: eyes of the editors in the MTV editing base. 112 00:04:45,520 --> 00:04:46,919 Speaker 3: But but who I was? 113 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:50,080 Speaker 1: I mean, man, I just came and was creative and 114 00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:52,520 Speaker 1: whatever I did, and then how I was interpreted was 115 00:04:52,560 --> 00:04:55,040 Speaker 1: what it was but or what it needed to be. 116 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:58,359 Speaker 3: But in all of that, like, wait, where were we 117 00:04:58,400 --> 00:04:58,719 Speaker 3: on with this? 118 00:04:58,760 --> 00:05:02,520 Speaker 1: I was going to Oh, Okay, So when I grew up, 119 00:05:02,600 --> 00:05:05,239 Speaker 1: I didn't really like because I wasn't popular. I didn't 120 00:05:05,279 --> 00:05:07,520 Speaker 1: go and date the boys or hook up with people 121 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,320 Speaker 1: or do anything. I didn't hook up with anyone. I 122 00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:14,080 Speaker 1: wasn't like, I didn't care about boys. But you start 123 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:17,279 Speaker 1: feeling it as you get into like maybe I was 124 00:05:17,279 --> 00:05:19,840 Speaker 1: probably later than everyone else because I had skip grades etc. 125 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:23,680 Speaker 1: But I started having those feelings of like, you know, 126 00:05:23,839 --> 00:05:26,320 Speaker 1: liking a boy or whatever, but I never knew how 127 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:28,360 Speaker 1: to act on it or how to do anything. And 128 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:30,680 Speaker 1: so I kind of resonated with you the most as 129 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:33,039 Speaker 1: a child watching the show because you were this good 130 00:05:33,080 --> 00:05:35,560 Speaker 1: girl on the show and you weren't gonna be out 131 00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:36,680 Speaker 1: there in the streets. 132 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:37,320 Speaker 3: Like Brenda or Kelly. 133 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:39,719 Speaker 1: But you fell in love with the one guy, and 134 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:42,000 Speaker 1: there was this boy that kind of looked like Brian 135 00:05:42,040 --> 00:05:44,600 Speaker 1: Austin Green and like he was like the boy that 136 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:47,760 Speaker 1: I always liked during that time. And then when you 137 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:49,920 Speaker 1: and I swear, I want to hug you right now, bitch, 138 00:05:49,920 --> 00:05:52,280 Speaker 1: because when you got cheated on when they played Babyface 139 00:05:52,320 --> 00:05:55,400 Speaker 1: and that fucking limo during that concert when he was 140 00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,280 Speaker 1: dating the burnette girl with the curly hair. 141 00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:58,840 Speaker 3: I will never forgive her. 142 00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:01,400 Speaker 1: If I catch her in this, it's gonna be fists 143 00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:02,640 Speaker 1: up and on this. 144 00:06:02,760 --> 00:06:04,800 Speaker 2: I just saw her recently at a convention. 145 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:05,480 Speaker 3: Yeah. 146 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:09,440 Speaker 1: I was literally I remember like watching that with the 147 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:11,920 Speaker 1: TV this far away from me, with tears running down 148 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:15,120 Speaker 1: my eyes, feeling like I've just lost the Like all 149 00:06:15,160 --> 00:06:17,600 Speaker 1: of this time I spent with you, be doing the 150 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:22,240 Speaker 1: right thing, loving the right guy ringing like and then 151 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:24,800 Speaker 1: it just flips when a little who she comes by 152 00:06:24,839 --> 00:06:26,360 Speaker 1: at the concert and Babyface. 153 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,520 Speaker 3: So now late years later, I was like. 154 00:06:28,560 --> 00:06:30,960 Speaker 1: Recording in Babyface's studio and I went in and I 155 00:06:30,960 --> 00:06:33,599 Speaker 1: told him like, you're, you know, iconic, and you know 156 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:34,760 Speaker 1: how much I loved him, And I. 157 00:06:34,760 --> 00:06:35,840 Speaker 3: Was like, I have to be real. 158 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:38,120 Speaker 1: The first time I actually really was put onto you 159 00:06:38,279 --> 00:06:41,400 Speaker 1: was through nine o two one, and my first thought 160 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:43,680 Speaker 1: whenever I even heard I was coming to your studio 161 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:46,279 Speaker 1: to record or meeting you, was you were the song 162 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:47,800 Speaker 1: that took out Donna Martin. 163 00:06:47,839 --> 00:06:49,080 Speaker 3: When when Brian. 164 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:51,880 Speaker 1: Hooked up with that fucking burnette with the curly hair 165 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:56,160 Speaker 1: and the Limo Ariel Ariel, that little fucking skeezy ass 166 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:58,919 Speaker 1: ho I put in my behavor. Yeah, I was fucked 167 00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:01,279 Speaker 1: up over it for a long time time. But anyways, 168 00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:02,760 Speaker 1: yeah that was my little funny. 169 00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:02,960 Speaker 4: Uh. 170 00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:05,000 Speaker 1: And then every time I see say was he like, 171 00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:10,200 Speaker 1: I don't even know if he remembered. I don't know 172 00:07:10,200 --> 00:07:12,040 Speaker 1: if he remembered. I try, I can't I know how 173 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:13,000 Speaker 1: to like, he's such. 174 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:14,679 Speaker 3: An icon, I keep it at a minimum. 175 00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:16,600 Speaker 1: Have you do you see the videos recently where like 176 00:07:16,880 --> 00:07:19,600 Speaker 1: two girls like We're talking to him at the Grammys, 177 00:07:19,640 --> 00:07:22,000 Speaker 1: and then like moved him aside to get to somebody else, 178 00:07:22,880 --> 00:07:26,360 Speaker 1: and everyone was like, these girls need to be fired immediately, 179 00:07:26,600 --> 00:07:28,840 Speaker 1: which I agree, Like I even though I have a 180 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:32,160 Speaker 1: cheesy story to tell Babyface, I kept it at a 181 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:35,000 Speaker 1: minimum out of respect for who he is. But that 182 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:38,000 Speaker 1: is actually like the first time that I when will 183 00:07:38,040 --> 00:07:39,800 Speaker 1: I See You Again? Was the song that he was 184 00:07:39,840 --> 00:07:42,760 Speaker 1: singing and Brian was in the limo, and anytime I 185 00:07:42,760 --> 00:07:45,679 Speaker 1: get into a black limo, like I've always been nervous 186 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:48,320 Speaker 1: when a curly hair burnette gets around any man that 187 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:50,920 Speaker 1: I love, because you just don't know which it was so. 188 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:52,360 Speaker 2: In what is happening right now? 189 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:53,520 Speaker 3: It was impactful. 190 00:07:53,560 --> 00:07:56,320 Speaker 1: It was it was we don't have these things anymore 191 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:59,280 Speaker 1: in our culture. My goddaughter does not have a show 192 00:07:59,640 --> 00:08:03,960 Speaker 1: that she watches religiously on a standard network that everybody 193 00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:04,920 Speaker 1: turns on at night. 194 00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,880 Speaker 2: That it's not appointment TV anymore. 195 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:10,640 Speaker 1: It isn't it's whim and watch on your phone quickly, 196 00:08:10,800 --> 00:08:13,200 Speaker 1: or watch while you're on your phone, because we need 197 00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:14,360 Speaker 1: constant distraction. 198 00:08:14,520 --> 00:08:17,200 Speaker 4: Right Well, it's affected me too, like I become like 199 00:08:17,280 --> 00:08:19,000 Speaker 4: that and my friend to think. 200 00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:21,040 Speaker 1: Like that, I can't get through movies lately, and I'm like, 201 00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:23,200 Speaker 1: what is wrong with me? If it's a documentary, yes, 202 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:25,800 Speaker 1: but an actual movie, I can't do it. 203 00:08:25,840 --> 00:08:28,559 Speaker 4: I'm just so we're being conditioned to adapt with the times, 204 00:08:28,560 --> 00:08:31,760 Speaker 4: and it sucks. Aubrey's dog's here right now and he's eighteen. 205 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:35,560 Speaker 1: He's yeah, he's an old Papa's old obi. 206 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:36,160 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. 207 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:38,480 Speaker 4: So it's interesting, like you're saying this to me, and 208 00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,680 Speaker 4: I'm thinking, like, you know me well and you know 209 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:41,480 Speaker 4: like I don't. 210 00:08:42,760 --> 00:08:43,120 Speaker 2: I don't know. 211 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:45,680 Speaker 4: I never think anybody knows so I am, or like 212 00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:47,480 Speaker 4: so I am or what I It's hard for me 213 00:08:47,520 --> 00:08:49,520 Speaker 4: to recognize an impact I've had. 214 00:08:50,600 --> 00:08:53,680 Speaker 3: You're not you stay very humble. 215 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:57,120 Speaker 1: You're not very cocky, which I that's probably the only 216 00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:59,520 Speaker 1: thing about you that I would like amp up in you, 217 00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:02,199 Speaker 1: is that that uh. 218 00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:03,480 Speaker 3: No fucks category. 219 00:09:03,520 --> 00:09:05,240 Speaker 1: I would amp it up a little bit more for 220 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:08,120 Speaker 1: you because you are so iconic, and I don't think 221 00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:11,840 Speaker 1: that there's any I don't believe that staying humble is 222 00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:15,320 Speaker 1: where somebody who's incredibly talented, who has offered their talent 223 00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:18,720 Speaker 1: to the world and impacted generations of people. 224 00:09:19,160 --> 00:09:21,839 Speaker 3: I don't believe that they need to go and you. 225 00:09:21,800 --> 00:09:24,400 Speaker 1: Know, still self deprecate to the women and whatever in 226 00:09:24,480 --> 00:09:27,680 Speaker 1: order for people to you know, see them as iconic. 227 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:29,840 Speaker 1: I think you can walk in bold and say, these 228 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:31,560 Speaker 1: are all the things that I've done. Now, let me 229 00:09:31,559 --> 00:09:33,760 Speaker 1: tell you where I'm going and what I'm expecting to 230 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:34,920 Speaker 1: do with this room today. 231 00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:38,880 Speaker 2: You don't have that switch though, I don't have what's 232 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:40,360 Speaker 2: your sign? Taurus? 233 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:43,719 Speaker 3: Oh god, I don't know enough about toros? Are you Aquarius? 234 00:09:44,679 --> 00:09:47,680 Speaker 1: So we very we very much are like we we 235 00:09:48,080 --> 00:09:50,679 Speaker 1: say a lot of the things that most people don't say. 236 00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:54,240 Speaker 3: We're known to be those type of people. Were also 237 00:09:54,440 --> 00:09:56,960 Speaker 3: like very like highly philanthropic. 238 00:09:57,160 --> 00:10:01,800 Speaker 1: We give, We're very aware and active in regards to causes, 239 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:05,600 Speaker 1: and so we stay informed. Usually so when I walk 240 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:09,400 Speaker 1: in places like if we're not speaking the same language 241 00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:12,880 Speaker 1: and I need something to get done, I'm just very 242 00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:17,000 Speaker 1: blunt about what needs to occur, whereas you don't necessarily 243 00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,600 Speaker 1: do that. When I've seen you and been with you, 244 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:22,000 Speaker 1: and I wonder, I don't know exactly how you're growing 245 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:24,679 Speaker 1: up was so it probably is some type of conditioning 246 00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:26,040 Speaker 1: that happened with your mom and dad. 247 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:42,640 Speaker 3: I don't know, correct, Yeah. 248 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:37,040 Speaker 4: And I don't even know if it was so much 249 00:10:37,120 --> 00:10:40,640 Speaker 4: from them, just what I perceived from an early age, 250 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:43,800 Speaker 4: like being aware at even five, like, oh, I'm a 251 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:47,840 Speaker 4: representation of my dad. My dad is famous, and no 252 00:10:47,840 --> 00:10:50,000 Speaker 4: one sat me down, no one told me it was 253 00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,160 Speaker 4: like when we go out, I just was quickly tuned 254 00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:55,240 Speaker 4: into this is probably who I need to be. And 255 00:10:55,320 --> 00:11:01,120 Speaker 4: from that moment on, I watched myself to everybody else's eyes, 256 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,120 Speaker 4: and I've never watched myself through my eyes. 257 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:05,120 Speaker 1: Do you want to know another human being that said 258 00:11:05,160 --> 00:11:10,120 Speaker 1: the exact same thing to me, almost verbatim. Don Junior Really, 259 00:11:10,559 --> 00:11:14,920 Speaker 1: same thing, same life, same understanding of never really being 260 00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:18,800 Speaker 1: able to find his own identity because the pressure of 261 00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:23,000 Speaker 1: being born into a last name is something that you 262 00:11:23,120 --> 00:11:27,199 Speaker 1: never really get over it. I think you can. That's 263 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:30,439 Speaker 1: why I was trying to bring him down the path 264 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:33,600 Speaker 1: of glory in my opinion, but it didn't work obviously, 265 00:11:34,679 --> 00:11:36,959 Speaker 1: So I don't know if you can. But I understand 266 00:11:36,960 --> 00:11:40,320 Speaker 1: that to degrees that without you even having to get 267 00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:42,400 Speaker 1: into it, I understand what. 268 00:11:42,320 --> 00:11:43,480 Speaker 3: You just said very deeply. 269 00:11:44,280 --> 00:11:48,560 Speaker 1: It's just a life that nobody will really understand unless 270 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:51,480 Speaker 1: you've gone in depth and loved somebody that's gone through 271 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:53,520 Speaker 1: that or you are a person that's gone through that. 272 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:57,000 Speaker 1: It's very it's very strange to be born into an 273 00:11:57,040 --> 00:12:00,559 Speaker 1: identity that you had no control. It's very som learned 274 00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:05,040 Speaker 1: therapy and trauma therapy to somebody who gets assaulted at 275 00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:08,120 Speaker 1: a young age or has abuse occurring at a young 276 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:11,240 Speaker 1: age because they didn't know any better, they didn't ask 277 00:12:11,320 --> 00:12:13,679 Speaker 1: for it. It wasn't a choice that they made, and 278 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:17,840 Speaker 1: they had to then after that see themselves through the 279 00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:20,079 Speaker 1: eyes of it for the rest of time. 280 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:23,120 Speaker 3: And that's not really fair, is it. 281 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:26,079 Speaker 1: It's not what everyone's experience is with life, and so 282 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:28,840 Speaker 1: they kind of live a life that where they're a 283 00:12:28,840 --> 00:12:32,040 Speaker 1: bit removed from every room that they're in because just 284 00:12:32,200 --> 00:12:35,600 Speaker 1: nobody truly understands what that feels like except others that 285 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:36,280 Speaker 1: have been in it. 286 00:12:36,440 --> 00:12:37,120 Speaker 2: Absolutely. 287 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:41,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, my therapist called it on some level and annihilation. 288 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:41,520 Speaker 2: Of the soul. 289 00:12:42,280 --> 00:12:45,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree with that, definitely, an annihilation of the soul. 290 00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:49,520 Speaker 1: And if you don't correct it, it can get very extreme. 291 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:52,400 Speaker 1: I mean, drugs are incredible at helping things like that. 292 00:12:52,880 --> 00:12:55,720 Speaker 1: I think all of us celebrities like no, at least 293 00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:57,760 Speaker 1: I'm talking old school celebrity. I don't know what the 294 00:12:57,800 --> 00:13:00,040 Speaker 1: young kids. Everybody's doing pink cocaine. Now I did it 295 00:13:00,080 --> 00:13:03,079 Speaker 1: when it was white, but I yeah, there's. 296 00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:04,480 Speaker 2: Like pink colored cocaine. 297 00:13:04,640 --> 00:13:06,640 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's called something. Do you go. You guys are young? 298 00:13:06,640 --> 00:13:07,480 Speaker 3: What is the pink cocaine? 299 00:13:07,600 --> 00:13:08,280 Speaker 2: Guys are young? 300 00:13:09,679 --> 00:13:12,720 Speaker 1: It's called something. But like, yeah, all the kids do 301 00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:15,000 Speaker 1: pink cocaine. I'm like, I don't want my cocaine pink. 302 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,800 Speaker 1: The fuck is I would be scared to die. 303 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:22,360 Speaker 3: But too sy Trey talks about it in music called 304 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:24,000 Speaker 3: to Sy to Sy. 305 00:13:24,280 --> 00:13:27,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, And so you'll hear rappers talking about the Two Sea, 306 00:13:27,280 --> 00:13:29,000 Speaker 1: got the girls fucked up in the club on the 307 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,160 Speaker 1: Two Sea, Like the fuck, I'm too old for that shit. 308 00:13:31,200 --> 00:13:33,400 Speaker 1: I don't understand it. And if I saw pink cocaine, 309 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,200 Speaker 1: I wouldn't. I would think we were doing a baking 310 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:36,079 Speaker 1: recipe or something. 311 00:13:36,120 --> 00:13:38,600 Speaker 3: I would not. I would not. I would not think 312 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:39,360 Speaker 3: to snort it. 313 00:13:39,720 --> 00:13:42,640 Speaker 1: But that's what I'm saying, is like back in that time, 314 00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:46,320 Speaker 1: I noticed when trauma, when the trauma starts sitting in 315 00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:48,240 Speaker 1: and you're at you know, fame goes. 316 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:48,640 Speaker 3: Up and down. 317 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:50,319 Speaker 1: If you're lucky, you get a lot of if you're 318 00:13:50,400 --> 00:13:52,280 Speaker 1: lucky to stay. I mean I came in at like 319 00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:55,080 Speaker 1: I think around seventeen, and I'm forty one now and 320 00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:57,679 Speaker 1: I've not had a real job yet, so like I'm 321 00:13:57,720 --> 00:13:58,839 Speaker 1: still in entertainment. 322 00:13:59,160 --> 00:14:00,800 Speaker 3: So it's there's spend time. 323 00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:07,080 Speaker 1: Around job god, real job, real life, real personality or care. 324 00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:11,120 Speaker 1: I mean, everything I do is from my authentic self. 325 00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:13,280 Speaker 2: I think that's why I think you do. 326 00:14:13,400 --> 00:14:16,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, I create everything I do, So I think that's 327 00:14:17,040 --> 00:14:20,760 Speaker 1: why I'm not I'm not able to move as high 328 00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:22,600 Speaker 1: up as I would like a lot of the times. 329 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:24,440 Speaker 1: And why I've been around a lot of people who 330 00:14:24,840 --> 00:14:27,920 Speaker 1: are very high up. I see what they're willing to 331 00:14:28,120 --> 00:14:30,280 Speaker 1: compromise in order to get there, and I just can't. 332 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:32,840 Speaker 1: So when I show up to things, if it gets 333 00:14:32,880 --> 00:14:37,400 Speaker 1: to a degree that is annoying at this point, just annoying, 334 00:14:37,400 --> 00:14:39,000 Speaker 1: it's the word. But back in the day, it was 335 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:43,560 Speaker 1: like bending my integrity. I'm gonna have to say something. 336 00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:45,200 Speaker 1: And when you say something is when they ask you 337 00:14:45,240 --> 00:14:47,640 Speaker 1: to go home and you're no longer there anymore. So 338 00:14:47,760 --> 00:14:49,480 Speaker 1: anything that you've ever seen me on where I got 339 00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:52,440 Speaker 1: taken out early and it was clear that I should 340 00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:54,720 Speaker 1: have been there a lot longer, That's what really occurred. 341 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:58,120 Speaker 4: I mean, everyone obviously knows making up the band, and that. 342 00:14:58,200 --> 00:14:58,760 Speaker 3: Was one of them. 343 00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:00,920 Speaker 1: That's when I can talk of There's a few others 344 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,160 Speaker 1: I'm contractually still under, but so. 345 00:15:03,160 --> 00:15:04,240 Speaker 2: That one you can talk about. 346 00:15:04,680 --> 00:15:06,080 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, I'll. 347 00:15:05,840 --> 00:15:07,720 Speaker 1: Talk about anything as much as I can. You know, 348 00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:11,040 Speaker 1: some contracts are lower than others. But yeah, I think, 349 00:15:11,120 --> 00:15:14,840 Speaker 1: like i've I saw a lot of integrity lines just 350 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:16,120 Speaker 1: operating lower. 351 00:15:16,160 --> 00:15:17,560 Speaker 3: And no judgment to those people. 352 00:15:17,560 --> 00:15:19,920 Speaker 1: They're doing a lot better, their bank accounts are bigger, 353 00:15:19,960 --> 00:15:22,000 Speaker 1: they run the world. All the girlies want to be them, 354 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:24,200 Speaker 1: but I know what they were doing to get to 355 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:26,600 Speaker 1: where they got and there's just absolutely no way that 356 00:15:26,640 --> 00:15:28,760 Speaker 1: I could have done any of that. And I knew 357 00:15:28,760 --> 00:15:32,480 Speaker 1: it very early on. I really tried to become besties. 358 00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:34,800 Speaker 3: With all of the it girls to see what it was. 359 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:37,640 Speaker 1: And every time I became besties with every single one 360 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:42,680 Speaker 1: of them, I realized, and after you know, multiple period 361 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:47,480 Speaker 1: of months or years or time, there's nothing really unique 362 00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:51,480 Speaker 1: and special here. This is just a very big organization 363 00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:54,840 Speaker 1: and it's all very worked through and there are. 364 00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:55,640 Speaker 2: A lot of people. 365 00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:59,280 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's almost like it's what our old manager, Johnny Wright, 366 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:01,120 Speaker 1: when we first got on making the band he said 367 00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,080 Speaker 1: to me. At one point, when you know, there was 368 00:16:03,160 --> 00:16:06,280 Speaker 1: turmoils that were starting to occur. We went out to 369 00:16:06,320 --> 00:16:08,320 Speaker 1: dinner and he said, you know, you're the leader of 370 00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:08,760 Speaker 1: this group. 371 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:09,240 Speaker 3: You're the star. 372 00:16:09,280 --> 00:16:11,520 Speaker 1: And I'm like, no, we're all we all sing equal, 373 00:16:11,600 --> 00:16:13,720 Speaker 1: We're all equal in this group. None of us would 374 00:16:13,720 --> 00:16:16,160 Speaker 1: ever we sing equally, We danced weekly, we. 375 00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:16,920 Speaker 3: Do everything equally. 376 00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:19,800 Speaker 1: And he was like, yeah, that's cute and all, but 377 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:24,360 Speaker 1: the audience has decided, the world decided you were the star. 378 00:16:24,920 --> 00:16:29,400 Speaker 1: And because of that, you now have this responsibility to 379 00:16:29,440 --> 00:16:31,680 Speaker 1: make sure that this group stays together. And I want 380 00:16:31,680 --> 00:16:33,400 Speaker 1: to tell you one important thing for you to always 381 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:37,680 Speaker 1: remember in that position. The manager, the agent, the head 382 00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:41,800 Speaker 1: of the label, your directors at the labels, your A 383 00:16:41,920 --> 00:16:45,560 Speaker 1: and R, all the way down to your lawyers, agents, managers, 384 00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:46,960 Speaker 1: even your fucking CPAs. 385 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:49,200 Speaker 3: We will all be here for the. 386 00:16:49,120 --> 00:16:53,360 Speaker 1: Next sixteen to sixty girl groups that come after you. 387 00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:56,720 Speaker 1: We will still be here with what comes after you 388 00:16:56,760 --> 00:16:59,200 Speaker 1: and what we make after you. You are the most 389 00:16:59,200 --> 00:17:03,120 Speaker 1: disposable and at the time it felt so. 390 00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:06,360 Speaker 2: Real and the unquote leader, no, the. 391 00:17:06,440 --> 00:17:10,119 Speaker 1: Artist, the person making the creations that the whole world 392 00:17:10,160 --> 00:17:13,800 Speaker 1: falls in love with, is the most disposable piece. And 393 00:17:13,840 --> 00:17:16,320 Speaker 1: that's what none of us understand. When we get in 394 00:17:16,720 --> 00:17:19,200 Speaker 1: and the first time that we're disposed of, it breaks 395 00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:22,200 Speaker 1: our fucking heart, and it breaks our heart so badly, 396 00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:24,320 Speaker 1: and sometimes the pain hurts so much that you need 397 00:17:24,359 --> 00:17:26,720 Speaker 1: to go to a doctor and talk to someone or 398 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:29,840 Speaker 1: be seen. A lot of times, especially back then, they 399 00:17:29,840 --> 00:17:32,600 Speaker 1: were throwing pills around like crazy. That's why you have 400 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:35,040 Speaker 1: so many people and a little bit older and my 401 00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:40,199 Speaker 1: generation all are taking pills a little bit younger on 402 00:17:40,359 --> 00:17:43,119 Speaker 1: and off. Got some got into it, some didn't. I 403 00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:45,560 Speaker 1: guess the new kids are doing toucy or nothing. I 404 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:47,720 Speaker 1: don't know what they're doing. They'll have to speak for themselves. 405 00:17:47,760 --> 00:17:50,440 Speaker 1: But there's a lot of hurt in this industry because, 406 00:17:50,840 --> 00:17:53,920 Speaker 1: like I said, the trauma comes in and it comes out, 407 00:17:53,960 --> 00:17:57,640 Speaker 1: and you're disposed of when necessary, you're brought back when necessary. 408 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:02,399 Speaker 1: We are literally like marbles that people toss around, and 409 00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:05,520 Speaker 1: to us, we are so serious about the products that 410 00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:07,280 Speaker 1: we make and the work that we do. If you 411 00:18:07,359 --> 00:18:09,919 Speaker 1: really are a real artist, you go home and you 412 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:13,240 Speaker 1: can't detach from your art. You think about it all 413 00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:15,359 Speaker 1: night till you go to sleep, until you start becoming 414 00:18:15,440 --> 00:18:17,919 Speaker 1: an insomniac and you can't fucking sleep anymore because you 415 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:19,639 Speaker 1: have so many thoughts. So then you have to go 416 00:18:19,760 --> 00:18:21,800 Speaker 1: visit somebody and get something to take so you can 417 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:23,280 Speaker 1: so you could show up to work to do your 418 00:18:23,359 --> 00:18:24,200 Speaker 1: job the next day. 419 00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:25,760 Speaker 2: It all is, how do you very? 420 00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:29,560 Speaker 1: I'm that sleep is still a very very hard thing 421 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:32,280 Speaker 1: for me. I mean, I thought that I moved to 422 00:18:32,359 --> 00:18:34,960 Speaker 1: Bali because I was put on ambient at a very 423 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:35,920 Speaker 1: young age. 424 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:39,119 Speaker 3: By somebody else's doctors. That is a horrible. 425 00:18:38,800 --> 00:18:42,080 Speaker 1: Drug, and I did not know in long term periods 426 00:18:42,119 --> 00:18:45,120 Speaker 1: of taking it that it causes depression and a lot 427 00:18:45,160 --> 00:18:47,840 Speaker 1: of like fits of crying and things like that. As 428 00:18:47,880 --> 00:18:50,520 Speaker 1: I started to look up symptomatics of long term use, 429 00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:53,399 Speaker 1: there was like a year where I cried so much. 430 00:18:53,560 --> 00:18:56,840 Speaker 1: I think, I like, I'd be better off telling you 431 00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:58,920 Speaker 1: the days that I didn't cry than that I did. 432 00:19:00,080 --> 00:19:02,239 Speaker 1: It just got to be and the feeling that you 433 00:19:02,280 --> 00:19:05,040 Speaker 1: get when you take it. I compare it only because 434 00:19:05,040 --> 00:19:07,600 Speaker 1: I've never really gotten into like hard drugs. But when 435 00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:10,240 Speaker 1: I watch people on Intervention and they like shoot heroin 436 00:19:10,280 --> 00:19:13,680 Speaker 1: and they go and they fall back, I'm like, that's 437 00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:16,680 Speaker 1: kind of what ambien does. All that that weight that's 438 00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:17,600 Speaker 1: on my chest. 439 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:20,440 Speaker 2: And major drugs, but like that. 440 00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,960 Speaker 1: That one is that one's and no other thing that 441 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,200 Speaker 1: they've given me for sleep does that except. 442 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,240 Speaker 2: Dancause it knocks you out. 443 00:19:26,359 --> 00:19:28,480 Speaker 3: It knocks you out, but it gets you high first 444 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,320 Speaker 3: and then long term. 445 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,040 Speaker 2: Used to get you high. I just eat. 446 00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:35,680 Speaker 1: That's the high period when you concot the whole thing 447 00:19:35,720 --> 00:19:37,840 Speaker 1: in your fridge. Yeah, I mean I'd wake up the 448 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:40,240 Speaker 1: next morning with like ramen noodles and ketchup and a 449 00:19:40,240 --> 00:19:41,719 Speaker 1: bunch of things in a bowl, like what in the 450 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:42,880 Speaker 1: fuck happened last night? 451 00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:44,400 Speaker 4: It used to be kind of fun for me till 452 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,960 Speaker 4: it wasn't fun where I'd be like, oh, piecing the 453 00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:47,679 Speaker 4: night together? 454 00:19:47,760 --> 00:19:50,159 Speaker 3: By what I Yes, piecing the night together is a 455 00:19:50,160 --> 00:19:50,720 Speaker 3: big one with me. 456 00:19:51,119 --> 00:19:53,199 Speaker 4: I came up in the moment what I thought was 457 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:54,920 Speaker 4: the best recipes ever. 458 00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:57,560 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I think I did too. 459 00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,440 Speaker 2: But then when you wake up an cookbook. 460 00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:02,000 Speaker 1: At some point, I wrote an entire book on ambien 461 00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:03,679 Speaker 1: in the shower and I couldn't remember. 462 00:20:03,440 --> 00:20:05,000 Speaker 3: It to this day. And I'm so pissed because it 463 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:09,000 Speaker 3: was a winner. Yeah yeah, really it was a winner. 464 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:12,600 Speaker 4: But what it does is it's horrible you lose that 465 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:16,320 Speaker 4: knowing how to almost going back to childhood, settling and 466 00:20:16,359 --> 00:20:19,960 Speaker 4: putting yourself to sleep, which is a really important key thing. 467 00:20:20,160 --> 00:20:22,919 Speaker 4: It's like a child just you need a blanket, that 468 00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:25,800 Speaker 4: downtime winding down your brain to shut down, and it 469 00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:28,159 Speaker 4: eliminates that because it just gets you from A to 470 00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:29,199 Speaker 4: B super quick knock out. 471 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:32,240 Speaker 1: Also, when you're in certain levels of sleep, it's correcting 472 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:35,679 Speaker 1: your body. It's fixing your cells. It's it's it's like 473 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:37,480 Speaker 1: do It's like when you go to bed and you're 474 00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:39,920 Speaker 1: in real sleep and you're in a stage five or whatever, 475 00:20:40,440 --> 00:20:44,080 Speaker 1: a deep sleep. Your body's in there working away correcting itself, 476 00:20:44,119 --> 00:20:47,679 Speaker 1: fixing the cells that are abnormal. Like it's it's putting 477 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,960 Speaker 1: itself back together so that you can then wake up 478 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,960 Speaker 1: and knock your adrenal glens out the whole fucking day 479 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:56,119 Speaker 1: with great stress. So it's like when you're not getting that, 480 00:20:56,200 --> 00:20:58,680 Speaker 1: I think that's probably where the long term depression kicks 481 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:01,040 Speaker 1: in with that drug, because if you're never correcting it, 482 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:05,959 Speaker 1: then you're really always working in a state of what 483 00:21:06,880 --> 00:21:08,040 Speaker 1: had a therapist one. 484 00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:09,560 Speaker 3: Time that said something to me that was so real. 485 00:21:09,600 --> 00:21:14,680 Speaker 1: They said, your entire personality is a trauma response based personality, 486 00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,240 Speaker 1: and then I started thinking about all these wonderful things 487 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:20,960 Speaker 1: I know about myself to be true, but they all 488 00:21:21,600 --> 00:21:25,960 Speaker 1: arose through a trauma based situation. I'm just very when 489 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:27,560 Speaker 1: I would go in and people would ask what my 490 00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:31,000 Speaker 1: strengths are in any given situation, It's just like, if 491 00:21:31,040 --> 00:21:33,040 Speaker 1: we have no budget, I can make it look like 492 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:36,359 Speaker 1: we did and I would impress the most impressive people. 493 00:21:44,320 --> 00:21:48,120 Speaker 1: If there's problems, I don't really run around and talk 494 00:21:48,160 --> 00:21:51,560 Speaker 1: about them with everyone. I just am like, I'm solution oriented. 495 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:55,360 Speaker 1: What is the solution. I'm really good at self deprecating 496 00:21:55,400 --> 00:21:58,280 Speaker 1: and maneuvering different types of personalities and doing what I 497 00:21:58,320 --> 00:22:01,440 Speaker 1: need to do and never to hurt anyone. But I'm 498 00:22:01,440 --> 00:22:04,720 Speaker 1: pretty good at positive manipulation. I got good at it 499 00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:07,439 Speaker 1: and Danity Kane because there were so many different personality 500 00:22:07,480 --> 00:22:09,800 Speaker 1: types and we all needed to be on one page, 501 00:22:10,080 --> 00:22:11,959 Speaker 1: and when we weren't, we were a mess and we 502 00:22:11,960 --> 00:22:14,760 Speaker 1: were losing business. So I got used to knowing this 503 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:17,359 Speaker 1: one always needs to feel like, but he's in charge 504 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:21,359 Speaker 1: of positive I don't know there's probably an actual technical 505 00:22:22,080 --> 00:22:24,760 Speaker 1: term for it that therapists used, but like positive manipulation, 506 00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:27,320 Speaker 1: when people ask, are you manipulative. I'm thinking to myself, 507 00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:31,760 Speaker 1: I have manipulated so many things to come to existence 508 00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:35,520 Speaker 1: that have been incredible, Like every single Danity Cane tour 509 00:22:35,600 --> 00:22:37,320 Speaker 1: after did he pulled us apart? 510 00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:39,439 Speaker 3: Like every single job I've ever gotten. 511 00:22:39,520 --> 00:22:41,119 Speaker 1: I'll go in one room and say, well I already 512 00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:42,480 Speaker 1: have this, so if you don't want it, I'll go 513 00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:44,119 Speaker 1: over here. Then they want me all of a sudden. 514 00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:48,120 Speaker 1: That's manipulating, but it's for the positive. It's moving everything 515 00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:51,080 Speaker 1: in a direction as well, right, yeah, for it. It's 516 00:22:51,080 --> 00:22:54,320 Speaker 1: a positive direction for all, but it's still there's still 517 00:22:54,359 --> 00:22:56,280 Speaker 1: factors of manipulation involved in it. 518 00:22:56,640 --> 00:23:01,040 Speaker 4: And I am just being able to into people and 519 00:23:01,119 --> 00:23:04,679 Speaker 4: read people. I think when there are certain I do 520 00:23:04,760 --> 00:23:05,080 Speaker 4: the same. 521 00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:05,760 Speaker 2: But I call it. 522 00:23:06,280 --> 00:23:09,240 Speaker 4: I'm really good at playing the game of chess in life, 523 00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:11,080 Speaker 4: like I can't play the actual game. 524 00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:13,480 Speaker 3: Game of chess. Is a game of chess is manipulation. 525 00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:16,800 Speaker 3: You're manipulating. I guess I compone it all the time. 526 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:19,560 Speaker 2: I have a negative connotation where I think about but. 527 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:21,200 Speaker 3: I know, and that's that's one thing. 528 00:23:21,240 --> 00:23:24,280 Speaker 1: Like that's why I love using words that scare people 529 00:23:24,320 --> 00:23:25,720 Speaker 1: a little more than maybe other. 530 00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,200 Speaker 3: People do, because if you really get it. 531 00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:28,840 Speaker 1: First of all, when I was in Bali, I got 532 00:23:28,880 --> 00:23:32,480 Speaker 1: down to a point when I arrived there, I was like, 533 00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:36,000 Speaker 1: never saying any words that were negative. I wouldn't even 534 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,560 Speaker 1: curse because what about my life do I want to put. 535 00:23:38,400 --> 00:23:39,080 Speaker 3: A curse on? 536 00:23:40,280 --> 00:23:43,320 Speaker 1: And then I was taking it so seriously and as 537 00:23:43,320 --> 00:23:45,800 Speaker 1: I was starting to really get into myself because there, 538 00:23:45,920 --> 00:23:48,640 Speaker 1: I'm not a celebrity. There's no TV, there's no billboards, 539 00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:51,720 Speaker 1: there's no entertainment, there's no nothing in that regard. 540 00:23:52,200 --> 00:23:54,480 Speaker 3: So I didn't ever think when. 541 00:23:54,359 --> 00:23:56,520 Speaker 1: I walked out of the house, if there's paparazzi on 542 00:23:56,560 --> 00:23:58,520 Speaker 1: me right now, how bad are the fat photos going 543 00:23:58,560 --> 00:24:00,760 Speaker 1: to be? How bad are the she's a fucked up 544 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,240 Speaker 1: plastic surgery nightmare or whatever the fuck they're gonna say 545 00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:03,600 Speaker 1: this week? 546 00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:03,880 Speaker 2: Right? 547 00:24:04,359 --> 00:24:06,680 Speaker 1: I have to actively think about that every day, because 548 00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:08,399 Speaker 1: the second you don't think about it, and all the 549 00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:10,359 Speaker 1: people around you tell you you're doing too much, is 550 00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:12,720 Speaker 1: when you end up on the cover of something looking 551 00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:15,080 Speaker 1: a hot fucking mess, and you really wish you would 552 00:24:15,080 --> 00:24:18,040 Speaker 1: have just trusted your instincts. If you've ever if you've 553 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:20,880 Speaker 1: ever been in that position and been like I said 554 00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:23,800 Speaker 1: this to someone one time, my girlfriends. I was like, 555 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:27,879 Speaker 1: how many times have you guys felt just deep humiliation 556 00:24:28,119 --> 00:24:32,720 Speaker 1: in life? And maybe one most of them said not really. Ever, 557 00:24:32,880 --> 00:24:36,400 Speaker 1: one or two said they accidentally sent like a nasty 558 00:24:36,600 --> 00:24:39,159 Speaker 1: message about their a coworker with their girlfriend that they 559 00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:41,480 Speaker 1: were sending to like everybody on the team, and the 560 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:44,119 Speaker 1: coworker saw it, and they got punished at work or 561 00:24:44,160 --> 00:24:46,200 Speaker 1: fired or whatever, and it was I was fucking humiliating. 562 00:24:46,240 --> 00:24:48,040 Speaker 1: It was a bad day in their life, right, that's 563 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:51,200 Speaker 1: the normal job, normal life type of humiliation. Our type 564 00:24:51,240 --> 00:24:54,919 Speaker 1: of humiliation is very different, and it's on a world scale. 565 00:24:55,119 --> 00:24:57,560 Speaker 1: And they'll even it may not even be real. Most 566 00:24:57,560 --> 00:24:58,959 Speaker 1: of the time. Most of the things that have been 567 00:24:58,960 --> 00:25:01,840 Speaker 1: said about me are not. When I go through headlines, 568 00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:04,800 Speaker 1: if I don't even I used to enjoy googling myself 569 00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:07,199 Speaker 1: because I could see how much I had done. It 570 00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:10,200 Speaker 1: got to a point where that flipped and that side 571 00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:13,840 Speaker 1: of pr and that the way that they were moving 572 00:25:13,880 --> 00:25:16,119 Speaker 1: for a while. Thank god, they're damn narrow, nonexistent and 573 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:18,560 Speaker 1: don't have jobs to do anymore at this stage time. 574 00:25:18,600 --> 00:25:19,960 Speaker 3: That's when that makes. 575 00:25:19,800 --> 00:25:21,920 Speaker 1: Me a little happy that the gatekeeping has died down, 576 00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,320 Speaker 1: because those people had to go away, But the way 577 00:25:24,359 --> 00:25:27,960 Speaker 1: they were able to just fully take people out at 578 00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:29,960 Speaker 1: certain points in this industry were they had a lot 579 00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:32,199 Speaker 1: of control. Certain people had a lot of control just 580 00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:35,960 Speaker 1: taking someone's entire career out just with a publicity stunt, 581 00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:39,560 Speaker 1: or make somebody an entire career just with a fake 582 00:25:39,640 --> 00:25:42,240 Speaker 1: sex tape of this, so that like these things were 583 00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:43,359 Speaker 1: being crafted in rooms with. 584 00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:45,159 Speaker 2: Girl. 585 00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:48,159 Speaker 3: I have all my friends that did it and are huge. 586 00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:51,399 Speaker 1: I that's one of those integrity things, So I wouldn't 587 00:25:51,400 --> 00:25:53,000 Speaker 1: have been able to do it. And I know exactly 588 00:25:53,040 --> 00:25:54,520 Speaker 1: how to do it and how it worked, and who 589 00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:57,680 Speaker 1: the players were and how they got it stolen from 590 00:25:57,760 --> 00:25:59,679 Speaker 1: their house and it was their private tape. So the 591 00:25:59,720 --> 00:26:02,440 Speaker 1: world feels bad for them, but really they settle in Core. 592 00:26:02,520 --> 00:26:05,160 Speaker 1: They sue the evil porn company, but porn companies don't 593 00:26:05,160 --> 00:26:05,800 Speaker 1: care that if you. 594 00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:06,399 Speaker 3: Call them evil. 595 00:26:06,720 --> 00:26:09,960 Speaker 1: They don't care about bad reputations. They technically are a 596 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:13,240 Speaker 1: bad reputation, and then everyone settled, but no one talks 597 00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:13,640 Speaker 1: about that. 598 00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:16,240 Speaker 3: They don't. I think for some people, I'm sure it was. 599 00:26:16,280 --> 00:26:20,679 Speaker 1: But they're initially, but I think I know who's were 600 00:26:20,680 --> 00:26:22,840 Speaker 1: and who's weren't. So to you, because they're worse there 601 00:26:22,840 --> 00:26:24,919 Speaker 1: worn't there There is somebody that did have one stolen, 602 00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:25,320 Speaker 1: and we don't. 603 00:26:25,320 --> 00:26:26,520 Speaker 3: We want to be fair to that person. 604 00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:30,600 Speaker 1: But for the others that did the whole deal, you know, 605 00:26:30,680 --> 00:26:32,960 Speaker 1: it's sue the evil porn company show the world how 606 00:26:33,119 --> 00:26:35,639 Speaker 1: it's not it's not your fault, and how this was 607 00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:38,120 Speaker 1: a personal, private experience. A lot of people do this, 608 00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:41,040 Speaker 1: This is natural in relationships. But then this evil porn 609 00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:43,199 Speaker 1: company released it and caused all this damage. And then 610 00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:45,800 Speaker 1: they settle out of a court for the disclosed amount 611 00:26:45,880 --> 00:26:48,520 Speaker 1: that they basically did the deal for. And sometimes they 612 00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:50,840 Speaker 1: did multiple versions of the tape until they were happy 613 00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:51,720 Speaker 1: with how they looked in it. 614 00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:54,119 Speaker 3: I mean, that's how a career was built at a 615 00:26:54,160 --> 00:26:54,720 Speaker 3: certain time. 616 00:26:55,080 --> 00:26:57,280 Speaker 1: And I was rising at that time, and I would 617 00:26:57,280 --> 00:27:00,359 Speaker 1: be over here at Madison Square Garden and a couple 618 00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:03,880 Speaker 1: paparazzi would call for Danity Kane every now and then. 619 00:27:04,119 --> 00:27:06,440 Speaker 1: Then I would come back over here with my besties 620 00:27:06,600 --> 00:27:09,080 Speaker 1: and they were climbing on the cars if we just 621 00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:12,760 Speaker 1: went to coffee, and I started to realize, holy shit, 622 00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:16,320 Speaker 1: like this super talented area over here is getting none 623 00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:19,440 Speaker 1: and this area over here is where the fuck it's at. 624 00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,359 Speaker 1: Then I started going back to this area when the 625 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:25,760 Speaker 1: brakes were done, and that area then started to become 626 00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:28,640 Speaker 1: more popping because everybody said, hey, So and So's best 627 00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:32,760 Speaker 1: friend Aubrey, stay back, Aubrey, we want Aubrey, Aubrey. 628 00:27:32,359 --> 00:27:32,920 Speaker 3: Stay back. 629 00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:35,840 Speaker 1: And so then it started separating me from my very 630 00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:39,800 Speaker 1: talented sisters. And there was already separations occurring with Puff 631 00:27:39,800 --> 00:27:43,400 Speaker 1: and so on and so forth. So like the way 632 00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:47,080 Speaker 1: that I watched everything almost transition in front of my face, 633 00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:50,000 Speaker 1: I mean, I learned music through watching some of the 634 00:27:50,040 --> 00:27:53,840 Speaker 1: greatest acts in the world making killer shows on the Grammys, 635 00:27:53,840 --> 00:27:56,320 Speaker 1: but none of them Mike's were on. All that shit 636 00:27:56,440 --> 00:27:59,040 Speaker 1: was pre recorded for the most part. Then when I 637 00:27:59,160 --> 00:28:01,639 Speaker 1: came up, it was like John Legend and Alicia Keys 638 00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:04,879 Speaker 1: were front like the face of the Grammys, and everybody's 639 00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:05,399 Speaker 1: mics were on. 640 00:28:05,520 --> 00:28:07,600 Speaker 3: Then, and I grew up in. 641 00:28:07,520 --> 00:28:09,800 Speaker 1: The industry with a man who made sure that the 642 00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:12,480 Speaker 1: mics were on and made sure that every embarrassing fuck 643 00:28:12,520 --> 00:28:15,600 Speaker 1: up that you do is shown so you can't fuck up. 644 00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:18,480 Speaker 1: I mean, we were literally taught do not ever cover 645 00:28:18,600 --> 00:28:20,960 Speaker 1: a song of a singer that is better than you. 646 00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:24,879 Speaker 1: That was like golden rule, do not ever sing in 647 00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:26,760 Speaker 1: front of people that are better singers. When I went 648 00:28:26,760 --> 00:28:28,200 Speaker 1: on Celebrity Apprentice. 649 00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:30,600 Speaker 2: And I love her singer then well girl when. 650 00:28:30,520 --> 00:28:35,120 Speaker 1: They started when I was on when I did Celebrity Apprentice, 651 00:28:35,119 --> 00:28:37,320 Speaker 1: and this is no shade to her because I love 652 00:28:37,359 --> 00:28:38,080 Speaker 1: her like a sister. 653 00:28:38,160 --> 00:28:40,760 Speaker 3: Debbie Gibson would sing all the time. 654 00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:42,640 Speaker 1: And I can talk about this because I did shade 655 00:28:42,640 --> 00:28:44,520 Speaker 1: her a little in the interviews, So we've already gotten 656 00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:47,440 Speaker 1: past this part of our friendship. But she would annoy 657 00:28:47,480 --> 00:28:49,840 Speaker 1: me so deeply and it had nothing to do with her. 658 00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:52,720 Speaker 1: I didn't realize this till years after. I don't even 659 00:28:52,720 --> 00:28:54,400 Speaker 1: know if I ever told her this. Hopefully she watches 660 00:28:54,400 --> 00:28:56,960 Speaker 1: and sees, but she annoyed me so deeply on that 661 00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:59,440 Speaker 1: show and people would probably just see whatever I. 662 00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:01,880 Speaker 3: Said in clip. But it's in the car when we 663 00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:02,560 Speaker 3: would drive. 664 00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:06,560 Speaker 1: To set every morning, she just would sing, sing, si, sing, sing, sing. 665 00:29:06,360 --> 00:29:07,320 Speaker 3: Every which way. 666 00:29:07,720 --> 00:29:11,320 Speaker 1: Every type of artists Whitney, that's just when you don't 667 00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:13,560 Speaker 1: sing unless you could sing like Whitney are better than her. 668 00:29:13,840 --> 00:29:15,880 Speaker 1: She would just be belting it out early in the 669 00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:17,880 Speaker 1: morning and I would just be sitting there. 670 00:29:17,960 --> 00:29:19,360 Speaker 3: She would grind my nerves. 671 00:29:19,080 --> 00:29:22,240 Speaker 1: So bad and I would literally be like even if 672 00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:24,480 Speaker 1: you didn't buy tickets, you're getting no fucking show from 673 00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:26,240 Speaker 1: Debbie Gibson. And even if you didn't want to go 674 00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:28,000 Speaker 1: to the concert, you're getting it. Like that was the 675 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:30,280 Speaker 1: famous line. I sat on the show. But years later 676 00:29:30,360 --> 00:29:33,760 Speaker 1: I realized it's not that I didn't love that she 677 00:29:33,880 --> 00:29:36,440 Speaker 1: was singing things out of her ability or whatever. It's 678 00:29:36,520 --> 00:29:39,480 Speaker 1: that she just had grown up in a time in 679 00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:43,600 Speaker 1: the music industry where people just loved to see Debbie 680 00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:46,600 Speaker 1: Gibson do anything. She was so iconic, and the second 681 00:29:46,600 --> 00:29:49,000 Speaker 1: she opened her mouth, they were just they just loved her. 682 00:29:49,080 --> 00:29:53,320 Speaker 1: I mean music artists and especially people in pop music, 683 00:29:53,440 --> 00:29:56,200 Speaker 1: which those rooms look a lot different than urban music, and. 684 00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:59,040 Speaker 3: I guess applaud you a lot differently than urban music. 685 00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:02,280 Speaker 3: But she really thought it was it was cool. She 686 00:30:02,440 --> 00:30:03,560 Speaker 3: was on the swirl night. 687 00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:05,760 Speaker 4: And day, and for me, she thought that though or 688 00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:09,040 Speaker 4: she just enjoyed all of it so well. 689 00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:10,840 Speaker 1: All of it, all of it. I don't think she 690 00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:13,360 Speaker 1: ever knew when she was off. I think she loves singing. 691 00:30:13,400 --> 00:30:17,560 Speaker 1: I think, and she's she's genuine as fuck. I love Yeah, 692 00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:20,120 Speaker 1: she's my sister for life. But but we've laughed about this, 693 00:30:20,200 --> 00:30:22,560 Speaker 1: But like she just loved singing. She would do it 694 00:30:22,600 --> 00:30:24,080 Speaker 1: all the time, didn't care if it was off key, 695 00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:25,920 Speaker 1: didn't care if she was doing something and things. And 696 00:30:26,160 --> 00:30:28,440 Speaker 1: I didn't realize until much later. I don't even know 697 00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:31,680 Speaker 1: that I'll ever get over this piece because I was 698 00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:34,040 Speaker 1: trained so young by Diddy and he's so good at 699 00:30:34,040 --> 00:30:38,520 Speaker 1: what he does. But I realized later I just really 700 00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:40,560 Speaker 1: was annoyed by her because she had a freedom that 701 00:30:40,600 --> 00:30:46,000 Speaker 1: I didn't. Oh wow, interesting, yeah, because I sing off 702 00:30:46,080 --> 00:30:47,760 Speaker 1: key too, So what the fuck? 703 00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:49,200 Speaker 3: I don't sing off key as much as she does, 704 00:30:49,240 --> 00:30:50,040 Speaker 3: but I've sing a key. 705 00:30:50,040 --> 00:30:52,440 Speaker 2: You are a condition that it wasn't okay. 706 00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:55,040 Speaker 1: It was not okay, And every time she did it, 707 00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:57,600 Speaker 1: I was like, what music industry did she come in? 708 00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:00,680 Speaker 3: Who the fuck was producing? And we're how does she 709 00:31:00,840 --> 00:31:02,240 Speaker 3: have what I have? 710 00:31:02,800 --> 00:31:05,600 Speaker 1: I had so many questions because it just was not 711 00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:08,640 Speaker 1: ever okay to step outside of what. 712 00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:11,160 Speaker 3: Did He will let you know what you did. And 713 00:31:11,200 --> 00:31:14,560 Speaker 3: by the way, he wasn't wrong. He made me a star. 714 00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:18,480 Speaker 1: He told the world I was one talented and all 715 00:31:18,520 --> 00:31:19,880 Speaker 1: of the above in every area. 716 00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:22,520 Speaker 2: You made yourself a star. But he was instrumental