WEBVTT - GEXUAL HEALING (feat. Kazumi)

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, Hello, Hi?

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<v Speaker 2>Is this Lyle?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Who's this?

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<v Speaker 2>This is Frank?

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<v Speaker 1>Hey Frank. How's it going? Man?

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<v Speaker 3>Good? How are you?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm good? What are you doing?

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<v Speaker 2>I am sitting here waiting to talk to you.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh what are you waiting to talk to me about?

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<v Speaker 1>Anything in particular?

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<v Speaker 4>Uh?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, fucking my well, my uncle's fiance.

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<v Speaker 1>Fucking your uncle's fiance. Okay, yeah, all right, tell me

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<v Speaker 1>how that went down.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I was lonely and horny and my uncle wasn't

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<v Speaker 2>paying any attention to said fiance. And one night me

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<v Speaker 2>and my actual aunt went over to hang out with her,

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<v Speaker 2>and she said something about never getting laid and made

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<v Speaker 2>a cut. I said something about cooking, and she asked

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<v Speaker 2>what that was and I explained it and she said, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>I wish I'm not going to say my uncle's name,

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<v Speaker 2>but would do that. And then I had a dream

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<v Speaker 2>that I ate or asked that night and for some

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<v Speaker 2>reason told her the next day and I kind of

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<v Speaker 2>started things off, and then I ended up kissing her,

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<v Speaker 2>and then like a half hour later, she was blowing

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<v Speaker 2>me and the blood up was trash, and she looked

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<v Speaker 2>at me and she was like, fuck me, And so

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<v Speaker 2>obviously I fucked her.

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<v Speaker 5>And then that happened probably I don't know, twenty more times.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I keep going.

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<v Speaker 2>And then that whole time, she wasn't fun my uncle.

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<v Speaker 2>And then as soon as I found out that they

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<v Speaker 2>started fucking again, I was like, okay, I'm good, and

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<v Speaker 2>I I stopped fucking her. And then a few months

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<v Speaker 2>went by, I didn't talk to her. I didn't really

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<v Speaker 2>talk to my uncle, and then he found out because

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<v Speaker 2>I'm stupid, and unblocked her on Snapchat, and he went

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<v Speaker 2>through her phone one night and saw the messages that

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<v Speaker 2>she saved, which I told her not to save, but anyway,

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<v Speaker 2>and then my mom had found out about it while

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<v Speaker 2>it was going on, texted her and said, cut this

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<v Speaker 2>shit out, blah blah blah blah, And he also found

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<v Speaker 2>those messages, so he knew that everyone knew that it

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<v Speaker 2>was happening except for him, and no one told him.

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<v Speaker 2>So then he didn't talk to any of us for

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<v Speaker 2>like six months. And then one of our family friends

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<v Speaker 2>passed away and we all ended up at a party

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<v Speaker 2>together and we were there, was like seven or eight

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<v Speaker 2>of us smoking a blunt and then everyone else went

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<v Speaker 2>inside and it was just us, and I was I

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<v Speaker 2>like looked at him and I was like, I'm sorry,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, like I feel like shit for what I did,

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<v Speaker 2>and if I could, I don't do it. But like

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<v Speaker 2>that's not going to change anything. And so that was

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know, probably almost two years ago. And fast

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<v Speaker 2>forward to now and we hang out with them every weekend,

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<v Speaker 2>which is pretty awkward, and he actually just found out

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<v Speaker 2>that she was cheating on him again with some other

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<v Speaker 2>dude and now they're in the middle of splitting up.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, so this wasn't just like some porn you watched.

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<v Speaker 1>This actually happened.

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<v Speaker 2>No, no, this is this isn't my life. This is

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<v Speaker 2>some fucked up shit that happened in real life.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, So when your uncle found out, what exactly was

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<v Speaker 1>his reaction, because you're telling me that you said you

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<v Speaker 1>were sorry to him, but I feel like we didn't

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<v Speaker 1>quite get how he reacted.

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<v Speaker 2>So it was he messaged me over. He sent me

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<v Speaker 2>a message on Facebook messenger, and he basically said, you're

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<v Speaker 2>lucky your family because if you weren't, you'd already be dead.

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<v Speaker 2>And if you see me coming, you better fucking run.

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<v Speaker 1>You guys need to grow up with the Facebook messenger

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<v Speaker 1>on the snapchack. Do you guys have phones? Tex just

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<v Speaker 1>text each other? Okay? All right, So I mean were

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<v Speaker 1>you scared at that point that he was going to hurt.

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<v Speaker 2>You kind of a little bit. Yeah, because I shouldn't

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<v Speaker 2>have done what I did. He's got like he's crazy.

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<v Speaker 2>It was it was not a good idea.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, Uh, he's crazy. Can you elaborate on that.

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<v Speaker 2>Uh, he's just had he's had a lot of trauma,

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<v Speaker 2>so he's just fucked up.

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<v Speaker 1>Mm hmm mm hmm. And uh, he recently is splitting

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<v Speaker 1>up with you said that this. You said that you

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<v Speaker 1>had sex with his fiance two years ago and now

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<v Speaker 1>he's recently and then just now he is.

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<v Speaker 2>They had a kid since then and ship and yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>but yeah, so they he's actually trying to get hurt

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<v Speaker 2>him move out of his house right now, but she

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<v Speaker 2>won't leave.

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<v Speaker 1>They had a kid.

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<v Speaker 2>They had a kid before too.

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<v Speaker 1>They had a kid before you had sex with her.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>How old is the kid now?

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<v Speaker 2>Like six or seven?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay? Now the kid has no idea that his cousin

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<v Speaker 1>fucker his mom.

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<v Speaker 2>No, I don't think So, how do.

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<v Speaker 1>You feel about this situation in a retrospective? What do

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<v Speaker 1>you what do you wish you had.

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<v Speaker 2>Done I wish I never would have done it.

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<v Speaker 1>Mm hmmm. Uh, what do you feel like you could

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<v Speaker 1>do to rectify this situation?

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know that. See that That's really the main

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<v Speaker 2>reason I called this because I feel like because it

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<v Speaker 2>eats away at me every day in my life, Like

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<v Speaker 2>I just I feel like a piece of fucking shit

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<v Speaker 2>because I am because like we were so close that

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<v Speaker 2>we like grew up together. He was more like my

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<v Speaker 2>brother than my uncle. And I think about it every

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<v Speaker 2>day about how much a scumbag I am for doing it,

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<v Speaker 2>And I always want to say something to him about

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<v Speaker 2>how sorry I am, but like I don't want to

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<v Speaker 2>bring it up. You know what I'm saying.

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<v Speaker 3>Mm hmm.

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<v Speaker 1>Is your uncle like close to you in age?

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<v Speaker 2>He's eight years older.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay. And how was the rest of the family's reaction

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<v Speaker 1>to this?

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<v Speaker 2>They were all pissed, Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>And so I assume that this has been something you've

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<v Speaker 1>been feeling guilty about for the past two years.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's been It'll be like four actually.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, four years.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>How they said this happened two years ago?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, yeah, I meant four. Okay, it happened at the

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<v Speaker 2>end of twenty eighteen beginning of twenty nineteen.

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<v Speaker 6>Okay, so they were married for four more years after

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<v Speaker 6>your uncle found out that is fiance cheated on him

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<v Speaker 6>with you. Yeah, well, I guess that they're listen. I

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<v Speaker 6>guess that their decision to stay together or to split

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<v Speaker 6>up has really nothing to.

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<v Speaker 1>Do with you.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>No, that's out of your you know, scope of of

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<v Speaker 1>business here. Okay, So yeah, what can you do to

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<v Speaker 1>directify the situation? Well, okay, so you say that you

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<v Speaker 1>have more things that you want to say to your uncle,

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<v Speaker 1>but you haven't said them because you Oh, well, I

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<v Speaker 1>don't want to bring it up. Yeah, okay, what are

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<v Speaker 1>those things that you want to say?

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<v Speaker 2>I don't see that. I don't even know what I

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<v Speaker 2>want to say. I just because it'll I'll just sound

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<v Speaker 2>like a broken record. You know, I've already said sorry?

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<v Speaker 2>How many more times can I say sorry? You know?

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<v Speaker 2>It's not like the only thing I can physically do

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<v Speaker 2>to show him that I am sorry is not fuck

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<v Speaker 2>his girl, Like, you know, what else am I going

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<v Speaker 2>to do?

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<v Speaker 1>I think that's a good stuf, right, I mean, clearly

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<v Speaker 1>this girl is not right for your uncle if she

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<v Speaker 1>slept with you and she also slept with another guy. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>but we're not talking. But you know what, we're not

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<v Speaker 1>talking about her. We're not talking about him, We're talking

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<v Speaker 1>about you. So uh, I mean, what can you do? Yes?

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<v Speaker 1>I agree you can. You cannot have sex with your

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<v Speaker 1>uncle's girlfriends in the future. That's a good step. One

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<v Speaker 1>listen and like it sounds, it sounds as the go ahead.

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<v Speaker 1>What are we gonna say?

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<v Speaker 2>I like, I've started my own family, Like I've moved

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<v Speaker 2>on from that, you know, like, I have no interest

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<v Speaker 2>in going backwards.

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<v Speaker 1>You've started your own family. You have a you have

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<v Speaker 1>a wife and a child. Yeah, Okay, how long has

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<v Speaker 1>that been a thing?

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<v Speaker 2>Almost three years? So like towards the end of twenty

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<v Speaker 2>nineteen we got together.

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<v Speaker 1>Wow, so you had sex with your uncle's wife and

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<v Speaker 1>then almost immediately got into another relationship.

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<v Speaker 2>No, it was like it was like nine months.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, does she know that this all happened? Just kids?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, she knew about it before we got together because

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<v Speaker 2>we met through friends and I told my friend that

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<v Speaker 2>was the mutual friend, and she told her, and she

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<v Speaker 2>knew about it before we even got together, but she

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<v Speaker 2>didn't really know who it was. But then I told

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<v Speaker 2>her the story, and she's like, oh, so this is that, dude.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, what was your wife's reaction when you told her

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<v Speaker 1>about this?

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<v Speaker 2>She just kinda shook her head. But now she's annoyed

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<v Speaker 2>that we see them every weekend and she doesn't like her.

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<v Speaker 2>And also she's like super attached to my kid, which

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<v Speaker 2>is super fucking annoying.

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<v Speaker 1>Your well, your aunts is super attached to your kid.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, she's like every time we go there, she just

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<v Speaker 2>needs to hold them in. She always said, like we

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<v Speaker 2>were there this past weekend, she was like, my baby,

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<v Speaker 2>Shut the fuck up, bitch. It's not your baby, it's

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<v Speaker 2>my baby.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that's got to be a pretty weird room to

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<v Speaker 1>be in.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's awkward, and she makes it awkward. And October

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<v Speaker 2>of twenty twenty one, my mom got married, and she

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<v Speaker 2>was confer besting her love for me then so to

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<v Speaker 2>more than two years, almost three years after it happened,

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<v Speaker 2>she was still saying, no, she loves me.

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<v Speaker 1>So three years after she cheated on your uncle with you,

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<v Speaker 1>she still was telling you that she.

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<v Speaker 2>Loves you, not me, not me. She was saying it

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<v Speaker 2>to her friend, and her friend told my mom.

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<v Speaker 1>She was telling her friends that she loves you. So

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<v Speaker 1>you heard through the grapevine that she is still in

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<v Speaker 1>love with you?

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<v Speaker 7>Yes?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay? And did you did you tell your uncle that?

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<v Speaker 2>No? Okay, But like at this, at this point in time,

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<v Speaker 2>it doesn't even matter, you know, is she what is

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<v Speaker 2>between me and my uncle has nothing to do with

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<v Speaker 2>her at this point in time, you know what I'm saying,

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<v Speaker 2>Because like he doesn't want to be with her. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>because you know what I'm saying, He just wants her

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<v Speaker 2>out of his life. Other than you know, it's the

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<v Speaker 2>parent of his kids. But he doesn't want to be

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<v Speaker 2>with her.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay. Well, I'm glad that your uncle had his his

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<v Speaker 1>his epiphany about her.

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<v Speaker 3>Uh.

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<v Speaker 1>It sounds as though you have like something unresolved to

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<v Speaker 1>talk about with you and your uncle, Like when when's

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<v Speaker 1>the last time I mean, you're in the room, you're

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<v Speaker 1>visiting this your fucking uncle, uh, consistently enough that you

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<v Speaker 1>know his wife or ex wife is holding your baby

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<v Speaker 1>and talking about how much she loves you. Like this

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<v Speaker 1>guy's in your life. From what you're telling me, when

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<v Speaker 1>is the last time you sat down with him and

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<v Speaker 1>had a conversation about this?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, it's not since the first and only conversation we've

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<v Speaker 2>had about it.

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<v Speaker 1>You've only had one conversation about it, Yeah, and that

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<v Speaker 1>was four years ago, uh.

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<v Speaker 2>Like three years ago? Yeah?

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<v Speaker 1>Does any part of you sense that he still has

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<v Speaker 1>animosity towards you about this?

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<v Speaker 2>Of course? How like wouldn't you?

0:15:30.360 --> 0:15:33.400
<v Speaker 1>I think you would probably benefit from having another conversation

0:15:33.520 --> 0:15:44.880
<v Speaker 1>with him about this, okay, right, because I mean he

0:15:45.000 --> 0:15:46.760
<v Speaker 1>sounds like he has some shit he wants to say

0:15:46.800 --> 0:15:49.200
<v Speaker 1>to you. You sound like you have some shit you

0:15:49.240 --> 0:15:51.840
<v Speaker 1>want to say to him, And it's probably a scary

0:15:51.880 --> 0:15:57.960
<v Speaker 1>thing to initiate, but I think I think it would

0:15:58.000 --> 0:15:59.800
<v Speaker 1>be a good idea if you've only talked about it

0:15:59.840 --> 0:16:00.320
<v Speaker 1>one once?

0:16:03.080 --> 0:16:06.120
<v Speaker 2>Okay?

0:16:06.280 --> 0:16:07.480
<v Speaker 1>You sure this wasn't a porn?

0:16:09.840 --> 0:16:10.960
<v Speaker 2>It's not a porn?

0:16:12.160 --> 0:16:13.760
<v Speaker 1>What kind of porn do you do? You watch? Like

0:16:13.880 --> 0:16:17.600
<v Speaker 1>step like? You know what's funny is I'm like every

0:16:17.600 --> 0:16:20.920
<v Speaker 1>time I watch porn, I'm like, why is every fucking porn?

0:16:20.920 --> 0:16:24.880
<v Speaker 1>I have to have like a mom aunt like incest

0:16:25.160 --> 0:16:28.080
<v Speaker 1>angle to it. Who's watching it? And now I know who?

0:16:28.120 --> 0:16:30.200
<v Speaker 1>It's you?

0:16:30.600 --> 0:16:31.880
<v Speaker 2>It's not do you?

0:16:32.040 --> 0:16:32.280
<v Speaker 7>Is that?

0:16:32.320 --> 0:16:32.480
<v Speaker 1>You?

0:16:32.520 --> 0:16:32.600
<v Speaker 7>Do?

0:16:32.640 --> 0:16:35.200
<v Speaker 1>You watch that? Like the step mom and uncle type

0:16:35.200 --> 0:16:35.560
<v Speaker 1>of porn?

0:16:35.600 --> 0:16:35.960
<v Speaker 3>And ship?

0:16:37.160 --> 0:16:38.480
<v Speaker 2>No? I don't.

0:16:41.160 --> 0:16:43.000
<v Speaker 1>You should just have that. You should have a conversation

0:16:43.080 --> 0:16:43.640
<v Speaker 1>with your uncle.

0:16:45.680 --> 0:16:51.000
<v Speaker 2>Okay, I could do that, do you.

0:16:53.480 --> 0:16:57.360
<v Speaker 1>Hmm? Okay, so you have a child, now you have

0:16:57.400 --> 0:17:03.960
<v Speaker 1>a family. Yeah, how is that going for you?

0:17:05.480 --> 0:17:06.000
<v Speaker 8>That's great?

0:17:07.560 --> 0:17:10.879
<v Speaker 1>Okay, good listen, you want to know what you here's

0:17:10.920 --> 0:17:14.919
<v Speaker 1>here's here's I mean, what I'm thinking is, no, you

0:17:14.960 --> 0:17:20.200
<v Speaker 1>cannot take back you having sex with your uncle's wife.

0:17:20.480 --> 0:17:25.600
<v Speaker 1>But all you can really do moving forward is have

0:17:25.640 --> 0:17:31.000
<v Speaker 1>a conversation with your uncle about it. That'll go however

0:17:31.040 --> 0:17:34.760
<v Speaker 1>it goes. And then just focus on being a good

0:17:34.840 --> 0:17:38.119
<v Speaker 1>dad and a good husband however you can. Because at

0:17:38.119 --> 0:17:39.560
<v Speaker 1>the end of the because now that you have a family,

0:17:39.640 --> 0:17:45.040
<v Speaker 1>it's like, you know, whether or not you feel like

0:17:45.080 --> 0:17:50.840
<v Speaker 1>a piece of shit, you you you have. The good

0:17:50.880 --> 0:17:55.320
<v Speaker 1>news for you is that you have greater things to

0:17:55.440 --> 0:18:01.200
<v Speaker 1>serve now your son and your your your own family.

0:18:02.200 --> 0:18:06.640
<v Speaker 1>And so you know, the road to no longer thinking

0:18:06.680 --> 0:18:08.879
<v Speaker 1>of yourself as a piece of shit is gonna be

0:18:08.920 --> 0:18:13.440
<v Speaker 1>a long one. But in the meantime, you can kind

0:18:13.480 --> 0:18:22.960
<v Speaker 1>of lose yourself in serving your family. True, And if

0:18:23.000 --> 0:18:29.840
<v Speaker 1>your uncle does get another girlfriend, do not have sex

0:18:29.880 --> 0:18:31.280
<v Speaker 1>with her.

0:18:31.880 --> 0:18:32.960
<v Speaker 2>I will not do that.

0:18:33.520 --> 0:18:37.480
<v Speaker 1>And if you're thinking about doing that you can go

0:18:37.520 --> 0:18:40.640
<v Speaker 1>watch a porn because there's lots of porns about that

0:18:41.359 --> 0:18:43.920
<v Speaker 1>and you can kind of fulfill your fantasies that way.

0:18:44.119 --> 0:18:47.959
<v Speaker 1>I was wondering why they make those porns, and now

0:18:48.000 --> 0:18:51.320
<v Speaker 1>I understand. So thank you for the clarity I've given me.

0:18:53.040 --> 0:18:55.440
<v Speaker 3>No problem, Frank.

0:18:55.480 --> 0:18:56.600
<v Speaker 1>Is there anything else you want to say to the

0:18:56.600 --> 0:18:57.960
<v Speaker 1>people of the computer before we go?

0:18:59.640 --> 0:19:01.960
<v Speaker 2>I have a story about a couple of times I

0:19:01.960 --> 0:19:06.359
<v Speaker 2>fought my cat. Is you want to hear those? I

0:19:06.359 --> 0:19:09.600
<v Speaker 2>think I'm okay, Okay, Well, I'm gonna I'm gonna call

0:19:09.680 --> 0:19:10.520
<v Speaker 2>back with that one.

0:19:11.119 --> 0:19:12.480
<v Speaker 1>Okay, I'll talk to you soon.

0:19:13.800 --> 0:19:24.480
<v Speaker 3>All right, Bye, Thank you, Frank.

0:19:25.440 --> 0:19:28.080
<v Speaker 1>I feel like here's the thing, and no offense to

0:19:28.119 --> 0:19:32.080
<v Speaker 1>Frank is. I feel like after the story about fucking

0:19:32.080 --> 0:19:33.720
<v Speaker 1>his aunts, I don't I don't know if he's gonna

0:19:33.720 --> 0:19:45.400
<v Speaker 1>top it with the cat thing. And I'm afraid that

0:19:45.440 --> 0:19:47.600
<v Speaker 1>the story involves him fucking the cats, and I don't

0:19:49.320 --> 0:19:50.879
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if I'm in a good headspace to

0:19:50.920 --> 0:19:59.480
<v Speaker 1>hear about that. Hello, uh hello.

0:20:01.040 --> 0:20:04.480
<v Speaker 4>Hello, hi, hello, Hello?

0:20:05.520 --> 0:20:07.520
<v Speaker 1>Am I in a car? What's going on here?

0:20:09.240 --> 0:20:10.080
<v Speaker 9>You are in a car?

0:20:10.200 --> 0:20:12.280
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, turn left and you're gonna turn right.

0:20:12.320 --> 0:20:14.040
<v Speaker 9>You are almost where you need to be.

0:20:14.200 --> 0:20:15.240
<v Speaker 4>I'm so proud of you.

0:20:15.760 --> 0:20:17.040
<v Speaker 1>Oh that's where?

0:20:17.480 --> 0:20:17.760
<v Speaker 5>Where?

0:20:17.760 --> 0:20:18.760
<v Speaker 1>Where do I need to be?

0:20:20.960 --> 0:20:24.400
<v Speaker 4>Uh? You need to be in Wilson, North Carolina. I said,

0:20:24.440 --> 0:20:27.240
<v Speaker 4>you're never making it back to New York tonight.

0:20:28.359 --> 0:20:30.120
<v Speaker 1>Winston, North Carolina.

0:20:30.240 --> 0:20:34.119
<v Speaker 8>You say, Wilson, North Carolina.

0:20:34.960 --> 0:20:38.679
<v Speaker 1>What's tell me what's so great about Wilson, North Carolina.

0:20:40.560 --> 0:20:44.280
<v Speaker 4>They have a motel that's halfway between Florida and New York.

0:20:45.400 --> 0:20:48.800
<v Speaker 1>They have a hotel that's halfway between Florida and New York.

0:20:48.920 --> 0:20:52.280
<v Speaker 1>Is it is there? Are you current?

0:20:52.520 --> 0:20:52.680
<v Speaker 7>Well?

0:20:52.720 --> 0:20:54.960
<v Speaker 1>I feel like I'm like taking this journey with you

0:20:55.000 --> 0:20:59.359
<v Speaker 1>guys in this car. Are we going from Florida to

0:20:59.520 --> 0:21:01.040
<v Speaker 1>New York? From New York to Florida?

0:21:02.640 --> 0:21:05.040
<v Speaker 4>We are going from Florida to New York?

0:21:06.119 --> 0:21:13.920
<v Speaker 1>Okay? And what is uh? What is sparking this journey?

0:21:14.760 --> 0:21:19.119
<v Speaker 9>It's my fault. I was working over the summer on

0:21:19.200 --> 0:21:22.919
<v Speaker 9>a pirate ship, staying with my sister in Florida, and

0:21:22.960 --> 0:21:25.320
<v Speaker 9>now I gotta go back up to school names.

0:21:26.600 --> 0:21:30.120
<v Speaker 1>You're working on pirate ship? Who are you? Guys? First?

0:21:30.200 --> 0:21:33.440
<v Speaker 1>Let's start there. Who are you guys? How many other

0:21:33.600 --> 0:21:35.640
<v Speaker 1>five of you? Are there? Two of you? Is there? One?

0:21:35.640 --> 0:21:38.359
<v Speaker 1>Of you doing separate voices. What's what?

0:21:38.520 --> 0:21:38.840
<v Speaker 10>Where?

0:21:38.920 --> 0:21:39.000
<v Speaker 4>What?

0:21:39.400 --> 0:21:41.440
<v Speaker 1>Paint the scene of where I am right now?

0:21:43.600 --> 0:21:46.280
<v Speaker 9>There's okay, so there's two of us. You're in a

0:21:46.400 --> 0:21:53.920
<v Speaker 9>black twenty eleven here rio That sometimes works. I'm with

0:21:54.040 --> 0:21:59.160
<v Speaker 9>my mom jeans, although I don't follow up, and I'm NICKI.

0:22:01.800 --> 0:22:05.680
<v Speaker 1>Okay, you're with your mom. She's driving you from She's driving?

0:22:05.760 --> 0:22:06.399
<v Speaker 1>Or are you driving?

0:22:08.320 --> 0:22:10.560
<v Speaker 9>Yeah? She's driving because I don't like driving in the dark.

0:22:11.240 --> 0:22:19.399
<v Speaker 4>M mm hmm, all.

0:22:19.320 --> 0:22:25.080
<v Speaker 1>Right, So what is uh? How? How has the drive been.

0:22:27.920 --> 0:22:28.400
<v Speaker 9>Tiring?

0:22:28.800 --> 0:22:34.160
<v Speaker 4>And very rainy, very very rainy?

0:22:31.800 --> 0:22:39.480
<v Speaker 1>And Jane, what uh uh? Is this the first time

0:22:39.520 --> 0:22:41.600
<v Speaker 1>you've driven from Florida to New York? Or have you

0:22:41.640 --> 0:22:45.760
<v Speaker 1>taken long road trips like this in the past.

0:22:46.119 --> 0:22:48.959
<v Speaker 4>I have taken many, many long road trips like this

0:22:49.040 --> 0:22:49.600
<v Speaker 4>in the past.

0:22:50.600 --> 0:22:55.399
<v Speaker 1>Okay, And how does this one rank amongst the others?

0:22:57.119 --> 0:23:00.639
<v Speaker 4>Anytime I can keep this child of mind tapped it

0:23:00.680 --> 0:23:02.639
<v Speaker 4>in the car and talking to me makes it a

0:23:02.640 --> 0:23:03.200
<v Speaker 4>great trip.

0:23:04.000 --> 0:23:08.640
<v Speaker 1>Oh that's beautiful. Do you guys feel like it says

0:23:08.680 --> 0:23:13.280
<v Speaker 1>here that Nicky is eighteen, so she's kind of just

0:23:13.359 --> 0:23:16.840
<v Speaker 1>now on the cusp of leaving leaving the nest. Do

0:23:16.880 --> 0:23:24.360
<v Speaker 1>you feel as though, do you feel as though you

0:23:24.400 --> 0:23:26.919
<v Speaker 1>have not been spending as much time together as you

0:23:26.960 --> 0:23:27.679
<v Speaker 1>have in the past.

0:23:29.400 --> 0:23:33.000
<v Speaker 4>Well, that's true because Nicky is actually not getting ready

0:23:33.119 --> 0:23:37.520
<v Speaker 4>to leave the nest. They've been up starting your junior

0:23:37.600 --> 0:23:39.399
<v Speaker 4>year in college.

0:23:40.280 --> 0:23:41.119
<v Speaker 9>I've already, I've.

0:23:40.960 --> 0:23:44.160
<v Speaker 1>Already kind of like, yeah, you're starting your junior year.

0:23:44.200 --> 0:23:45.879
<v Speaker 1>What did you go to start? Were you one of

0:23:45.920 --> 0:23:48.560
<v Speaker 1>those kids that graduated high school when they were like sixteen?

0:23:50.359 --> 0:23:51.840
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, exactly like that.

0:23:52.040 --> 0:23:56.479
<v Speaker 1>Yes, Oh wow, wow, So you had to so you

0:23:56.480 --> 0:23:58.440
<v Speaker 1>had to say goodbye a little bit earlier than most

0:23:58.440 --> 0:23:58.919
<v Speaker 1>parents do.

0:24:00.920 --> 0:24:03.520
<v Speaker 9>I mean I did. I did a year community college.

0:24:03.600 --> 0:24:07.760
<v Speaker 9>I did live at home for a little bit longer,

0:24:07.840 --> 0:24:10.480
<v Speaker 9>but I moved. I went to college when I was seventeen.

0:24:11.480 --> 0:24:18.080
<v Speaker 1>Mm hmm, so mm hmm. What kinds of things have

0:24:18.119 --> 0:24:21.440
<v Speaker 1>you guys been talking about on this on this long journey.

0:24:24.359 --> 0:24:28.240
<v Speaker 4>Well, the latest thing we were talking about is Nicky

0:24:28.359 --> 0:24:31.119
<v Speaker 4>introduced me to you. So we've been listening to several

0:24:31.160 --> 0:24:35.400
<v Speaker 4>of your podcasts. So I have been able to help you,

0:24:35.800 --> 0:24:38.879
<v Speaker 4>and I hope you appreciate it by yelling advice and

0:24:38.920 --> 0:24:41.359
<v Speaker 4>guidance to some of your callers over the years.

0:24:41.760 --> 0:24:44.920
<v Speaker 1>Well, oh, well, so, so you you're you're you're new

0:24:45.040 --> 0:24:46.240
<v Speaker 1>to listening to the podcast.

0:24:48.359 --> 0:24:51.479
<v Speaker 4>I am okay to her today.

0:24:52.520 --> 0:24:57.199
<v Speaker 1>So so, Jane, tell me if you can remember in

0:24:57.280 --> 0:25:03.480
<v Speaker 1>particular any callers, uh whose whose things you you you

0:25:03.600 --> 0:25:07.600
<v Speaker 1>sort of had you said you've been yelling out advice

0:25:07.720 --> 0:25:11.440
<v Speaker 1>and and commentary. Is is there any commentary that you've

0:25:11.480 --> 0:25:13.800
<v Speaker 1>had on any callers you've heard on the podcast that

0:25:13.840 --> 0:25:15.040
<v Speaker 1>you want to share with us right now?

0:25:19.040 --> 0:25:20.639
<v Speaker 4>Well, what about that prison lady?

0:25:20.760 --> 0:25:23.520
<v Speaker 9>We've been letting to a lot of old ones, and

0:25:23.600 --> 0:25:28.000
<v Speaker 9>there was one lady who like had a pental in

0:25:28.080 --> 0:25:31.040
<v Speaker 9>prison yep, but like he had gone to down for

0:25:31.600 --> 0:25:33.400
<v Speaker 9>raping someone like.

0:25:34.880 --> 0:25:35.280
<v Speaker 8>Mm hmm.

0:25:35.920 --> 0:25:40.000
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, we were. We were yelling out some much harsher

0:25:40.040 --> 0:25:45.800
<v Speaker 4>guidance than you were giving out about one forest run one,

0:25:46.119 --> 0:25:48.640
<v Speaker 4>do not walk, do not pass go, do not feel

0:25:48.640 --> 0:25:51.040
<v Speaker 4>like two hundred dollars, get away, get away?

0:25:51.240 --> 0:25:55.200
<v Speaker 1>Yes, I do remember. I do remember gently telling her

0:25:55.320 --> 0:25:59.240
<v Speaker 1>that she, uh, she she should back away from that situation.

0:26:02.000 --> 0:26:04.159
<v Speaker 1>So you guys are starting from the Well, Jane, what

0:26:04.160 --> 0:26:06.480
<v Speaker 1>do you think about the podcast? Do you have any

0:26:09.119 --> 0:26:15.240
<v Speaker 1>you know, just overall commentary, any uh anything, anything you

0:26:15.280 --> 0:26:18.560
<v Speaker 1>think I could be doing better? Any just thoughts in

0:26:18.640 --> 0:26:21.560
<v Speaker 1>particular that you want to share. I'm very curious about

0:26:21.600 --> 0:26:22.960
<v Speaker 1>your your input.

0:26:25.480 --> 0:26:31.760
<v Speaker 4>Well, I think that and I think that you would

0:26:31.800 --> 0:26:36.960
<v Speaker 4>agree that many people seem to be calling you as

0:26:37.000 --> 0:26:40.080
<v Speaker 4>a therapist, which you make very clear that you are not.

0:26:41.480 --> 0:26:47.359
<v Speaker 4>And it always amazes me that despite you telling people,

0:26:48.119 --> 0:26:49.960
<v Speaker 4>you know, I'm not a doctor, I don't play one

0:26:49.960 --> 0:26:57.320
<v Speaker 4>on TV, that people continue to seem to call in

0:26:57.600 --> 0:27:00.560
<v Speaker 4>with that same thing. So how you to use that,

0:27:00.600 --> 0:27:00.920
<v Speaker 4>I don't know.

0:27:00.960 --> 0:27:01.560
<v Speaker 8>I think you do a.

0:27:01.560 --> 0:27:07.240
<v Speaker 4>Great job actually being very patient with people and seeing

0:27:07.280 --> 0:27:13.240
<v Speaker 4>them through. But it's a funny thing to listen and

0:27:14.280 --> 0:27:17.240
<v Speaker 4>some of the situations that people get themselves in. That's

0:27:17.280 --> 0:27:19.200
<v Speaker 4>probably the best part of the job I would get

0:27:19.480 --> 0:27:21.920
<v Speaker 4>is people are just fun.

0:27:23.560 --> 0:27:28.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, they're interesting fun, it's very it's very interesting too.

0:27:29.480 --> 0:27:32.080
<v Speaker 1>And the people listening, I mean, they get this as

0:27:32.160 --> 0:27:34.240
<v Speaker 1>much as I do, because they're here listening to the calls,

0:27:34.359 --> 0:27:39.199
<v Speaker 1>like diving into the dramas of people's lives for like

0:27:39.480 --> 0:27:43.200
<v Speaker 1>ten minutes at a time and then you know, slurping

0:27:43.280 --> 0:27:44.560
<v Speaker 1>right back into reality.

0:27:47.080 --> 0:27:47.679
<v Speaker 4>Yeah.

0:27:48.160 --> 0:27:48.400
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:27:48.680 --> 0:27:53.560
<v Speaker 4>The amount of drama, I have to say, amazes or

0:27:53.600 --> 0:27:57.040
<v Speaker 4>astounds me. I'm not sure which one it is. Yeah,

0:27:57.080 --> 0:28:00.960
<v Speaker 4>And that people seem to enjoy.

0:28:00.920 --> 0:28:04.040
<v Speaker 3>Drama they do.

0:28:04.040 --> 0:28:06.600
<v Speaker 1>Do you now, when you say people seem to enjoy drama,

0:28:06.640 --> 0:28:10.520
<v Speaker 1>do you mean people listening or the people engaged in

0:28:10.560 --> 0:28:14.199
<v Speaker 1>the situation seem to be enjoy it? Interesting? So you

0:28:14.200 --> 0:28:18.680
<v Speaker 1>think the people calling in there like enjoying the marinading

0:28:18.720 --> 0:28:19.840
<v Speaker 1>in their own conflict.

0:28:22.880 --> 0:28:27.480
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, I think that they live their lives to attract it,

0:28:27.760 --> 0:28:31.280
<v Speaker 4>not unlike somebody who's addicted to drugs or alcohol or

0:28:31.280 --> 0:28:36.040
<v Speaker 4>eating or whatever else. I think it can be for

0:28:36.240 --> 0:28:38.240
<v Speaker 4>many people, almost in addiction.

0:28:39.640 --> 0:28:42.080
<v Speaker 1>Have you felt that in your own life? You know,

0:28:42.120 --> 0:28:44.320
<v Speaker 1>at any point in your life where you felt as

0:28:44.320 --> 0:28:46.000
<v Speaker 1>though you were addicted to conflict?

0:28:49.200 --> 0:28:49.320
<v Speaker 5>Who?

0:28:51.680 --> 0:28:54.520
<v Speaker 4>No, I don't do cos I don't know.

0:28:54.600 --> 0:28:56.080
<v Speaker 9>You do kind of look quite a bit of.

0:28:58.280 --> 0:29:06.600
<v Speaker 1>That you Well, now, Jane, you say you don't do conflict.

0:29:11.160 --> 0:29:18.880
<v Speaker 4>I don't do draw. I will tell you. I will

0:29:19.440 --> 0:29:22.240
<v Speaker 4>if you and I are having a disagreement, I will

0:29:22.280 --> 0:29:26.320
<v Speaker 4>tell you how I feel about what you're doing. Okay,

0:29:26.840 --> 0:29:29.040
<v Speaker 4>you can tell me as well, and we move on.

0:29:29.320 --> 0:29:32.240
<v Speaker 4>And of course it's very different. Nicky sees me as

0:29:32.280 --> 0:29:37.120
<v Speaker 4>her parents, which is it's a different role than I

0:29:37.160 --> 0:29:40.680
<v Speaker 4>would have with a friend or you know, any other associates.

0:29:42.120 --> 0:29:44.960
<v Speaker 4>So we all we tend to pigeonhole people and how

0:29:46.320 --> 0:29:48.560
<v Speaker 4>this is the only way I know you ergo. This

0:29:48.680 --> 0:29:52.720
<v Speaker 4>is how you are always and that's not necessarily true.

0:29:52.920 --> 0:29:55.800
<v Speaker 1>Okay, So so would you say that NICKI would agree

0:29:55.800 --> 0:29:59.440
<v Speaker 1>with you in that it with the idea that you

0:29:59.520 --> 0:30:01.760
<v Speaker 1>do not entertain conflict.

0:30:04.000 --> 0:30:07.560
<v Speaker 9>Yeah, that's true, but you don't.

0:30:10.240 --> 0:30:11.720
<v Speaker 1>Oh well, okay, So that's what I was gonna ask you.

0:30:11.760 --> 0:30:13.440
<v Speaker 1>That's I was gonna ask you because Nikki just said

0:30:13.440 --> 0:30:16.880
<v Speaker 1>that you don't walk away from conflict because as you

0:30:17.400 --> 0:30:21.760
<v Speaker 1>maneuver life as a human being, you run into infinite

0:30:21.840 --> 0:30:24.880
<v Speaker 1>opportunities to engage in conflict. But you say that you

0:30:25.000 --> 0:30:29.240
<v Speaker 1>don't do conflict. Does that mean that you walk away

0:30:29.760 --> 0:30:31.880
<v Speaker 1>when you see a thing coming and you do a

0:30:31.880 --> 0:30:35.160
<v Speaker 1>lot of conceding because you believe it's not worth it. Like,

0:30:35.200 --> 0:30:39.200
<v Speaker 1>what is your method of avoiding conflict?

0:30:41.560 --> 0:30:44.000
<v Speaker 4>It depends on what the conflict is and who the

0:30:44.040 --> 0:30:50.440
<v Speaker 4>conflict is with. So I do a myriad of things. Sometimes,

0:30:50.480 --> 0:30:52.520
<v Speaker 4>if it's not worth it, you walk away. Sometimes I

0:30:52.600 --> 0:30:56.280
<v Speaker 4>try to jolly people out of it, and sometimes I'll

0:30:56.400 --> 0:30:58.280
<v Speaker 4>snap at your heels.

0:30:59.200 --> 0:31:01.120
<v Speaker 1>What do you now when you say snap at your heels?

0:31:01.240 --> 0:31:02.120
<v Speaker 1>What does that mean.

0:31:03.920 --> 0:31:06.280
<v Speaker 4>That I would go toe to toe. If we want

0:31:06.280 --> 0:31:08.479
<v Speaker 4>to have an argument, we can have an argument.

0:31:09.120 --> 0:31:12.480
<v Speaker 1>Okay, what kinds of now? What kinds of things?

0:31:13.160 --> 0:31:13.360
<v Speaker 3>Now?

0:31:13.400 --> 0:31:13.560
<v Speaker 4>You?

0:31:13.600 --> 0:31:17.600
<v Speaker 1>Okay, So you're generally pretty conflict avoidance and this is

0:31:17.640 --> 0:31:20.720
<v Speaker 1>a good thing, and you you you pick and choose.

0:31:20.760 --> 0:31:23.200
<v Speaker 1>You're like, I'm not going to fight every single battle

0:31:23.800 --> 0:31:27.520
<v Speaker 1>that presents itself to me to fight. I'm gonna really

0:31:27.840 --> 0:31:33.280
<v Speaker 1>pick carefully the conflicts I get into. Now, I ask you,

0:31:33.840 --> 0:31:37.880
<v Speaker 1>what kinds of conflicts are the ones that you cannot

0:31:37.920 --> 0:31:41.120
<v Speaker 1>walk away from? What is? What kinds of conflicts are

0:31:41.120 --> 0:31:44.360
<v Speaker 1>the ones where you're like, I have to break heels

0:31:45.280 --> 0:31:47.200
<v Speaker 1>for this one, all right?

0:31:47.320 --> 0:31:50.120
<v Speaker 4>And I think you're probably too kind to me there,

0:31:50.520 --> 0:31:53.480
<v Speaker 4>But I think it's more that I try to avoid.

0:31:53.560 --> 0:31:56.360
<v Speaker 4>I try to avoid, I try to avoid, and then

0:31:56.960 --> 0:32:00.640
<v Speaker 4>there's that one straw that breaks the camel's back and you.

0:32:00.720 --> 0:32:02.480
<v Speaker 1>Get it interesting.

0:32:02.640 --> 0:32:07.000
<v Speaker 4>So the one person that you know you constantly content, Okay,

0:32:07.000 --> 0:32:11.080
<v Speaker 4>I can't take it anymore. We're done before that.

0:32:11.160 --> 0:32:13.040
<v Speaker 9>You're just like passive aggressive about it.

0:32:13.600 --> 0:32:16.200
<v Speaker 4>I can't be Yes, you know, I'm ready to blow

0:32:16.240 --> 0:32:17.720
<v Speaker 4>when I go into passive aggressive.

0:32:18.640 --> 0:32:20.960
<v Speaker 1>Okay, do you do you have an example when?

0:32:24.200 --> 0:32:24.560
<v Speaker 9>Yes?

0:32:25.080 --> 0:32:26.000
<v Speaker 4>May I?

0:32:26.360 --> 0:32:27.880
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? I would love to hear an example of a

0:32:27.920 --> 0:32:29.920
<v Speaker 1>time where you tried to avoid it but you just

0:32:29.920 --> 0:32:30.760
<v Speaker 1>couldn't any longer.

0:32:33.200 --> 0:32:37.640
<v Speaker 4>Was down with my daughter, my granddaughter too, and Mickey

0:32:38.160 --> 0:32:41.840
<v Speaker 4>down in Florida. And my granddaughter is only three years

0:32:41.880 --> 0:32:46.440
<v Speaker 4>younger than Mickey. So they were being what I perceived

0:32:46.560 --> 0:32:53.720
<v Speaker 4>is a little dismissive, rude, ill mannered, unwelcoming, and many

0:32:53.760 --> 0:32:57.440
<v Speaker 4>other adjectives. And I got there and put up with

0:32:57.480 --> 0:33:02.080
<v Speaker 4>it the first day. I up with it the second day,

0:33:02.800 --> 0:33:07.000
<v Speaker 4>and the third day I awoke to it and became

0:33:07.120 --> 0:33:10.200
<v Speaker 4>past progressive. No, I don't need to go anywhere with you.

0:33:10.600 --> 0:33:14.000
<v Speaker 4>I'm staying here. You guys, do to your thing sor

0:33:14.080 --> 0:33:16.920
<v Speaker 4>right now. I have no desire to be with you people.

0:33:17.520 --> 0:33:20.760
<v Speaker 4>And I was really really angry at them, and when

0:33:20.760 --> 0:33:25.000
<v Speaker 4>they came back, so that is when I kind of

0:33:25.160 --> 0:33:27.200
<v Speaker 4>laid into them that said, this is the way you're

0:33:27.240 --> 0:33:29.400
<v Speaker 4>treating me. I don't like it. I don't need to

0:33:29.400 --> 0:33:32.160
<v Speaker 4>put up with it anymore. You either owe me an

0:33:32.200 --> 0:33:35.760
<v Speaker 4>apology and we go on from here, or I'm out

0:33:35.760 --> 0:33:37.680
<v Speaker 4>of here and we're leaving today.

0:33:39.240 --> 0:33:41.680
<v Speaker 1>Mmm mmmm. They were.

0:33:44.680 --> 0:33:47.840
<v Speaker 4>Not unruly, just rude and disrespectful and dismissive.

0:33:48.800 --> 0:33:53.000
<v Speaker 1>Mm hmmm. And this is this is interesting. So this

0:33:53.000 --> 0:33:57.200
<v Speaker 1>this is your your you said your your your granddaughter or.

0:33:57.000 --> 0:34:02.240
<v Speaker 4>Your your Yeah, my granddaughter and Mickey, my other child,

0:34:02.360 --> 0:34:03.600
<v Speaker 4>my youngest, my baby.

0:34:04.280 --> 0:34:09.480
<v Speaker 1>Mm hmm. So it's is it? Is it a thing

0:34:09.520 --> 0:34:13.480
<v Speaker 1>where situations in your family where where as you kind

0:34:13.480 --> 0:34:17.000
<v Speaker 1>of alluded to earlier in this conversation, you take an

0:34:17.040 --> 0:34:21.240
<v Speaker 1>authoritative role, and an authoritative role such as a parental figure,

0:34:21.280 --> 0:34:28.040
<v Speaker 1>you you you are faced with having to engage a

0:34:28.120 --> 0:34:31.800
<v Speaker 1>conflict from time to time. Exactly would you say that

0:34:31.800 --> 0:34:35.920
<v Speaker 1>that in that authoritative role is typically where you most

0:34:36.080 --> 0:34:38.040
<v Speaker 1>find yourself engaging in conflict.

0:34:39.760 --> 0:34:46.000
<v Speaker 4>Absolutely, in the final analysis, nobody matters but your family, Nikki,

0:34:46.040 --> 0:34:51.359
<v Speaker 4>Do you know matter? Nobody matters enough to me in

0:34:51.400 --> 0:34:57.319
<v Speaker 4>my life for me to really argue with them or

0:34:57.360 --> 0:35:01.680
<v Speaker 4>confront them more than my family, which is kind of

0:35:01.680 --> 0:35:04.640
<v Speaker 4>a sick kind of thing to say. Perhaps, but I'm

0:35:04.640 --> 0:35:07.279
<v Speaker 4>not invested in anyone else as much as invested in

0:35:07.280 --> 0:35:07.720
<v Speaker 4>my family.

0:35:08.480 --> 0:35:15.120
<v Speaker 9>With Jewelery, Yes, I mean I'd say that about my

0:35:15.160 --> 0:35:18.759
<v Speaker 9>best friend too, though, like I mean, he is my family.

0:35:18.760 --> 0:35:24.719
<v Speaker 10>Much m hmm.

0:35:25.640 --> 0:35:28.520
<v Speaker 1>So there we have that, you know what, Jane, I

0:35:28.560 --> 0:35:32.040
<v Speaker 1>think that that is smart, right, because when you engage

0:35:32.080 --> 0:35:37.880
<v Speaker 1>in conflict with somebody, you're in a way it shows

0:35:37.920 --> 0:35:41.840
<v Speaker 1>that they matter to you. So you're not just gonna

0:35:42.880 --> 0:35:45.320
<v Speaker 1>You're not just gonna engage with anyone. You're only gonna

0:35:45.320 --> 0:35:48.839
<v Speaker 1>really engage with people who matter to you, uh, such

0:35:48.880 --> 0:35:50.600
<v Speaker 1>as your family. So I think I think that's a

0:35:50.600 --> 0:35:53.239
<v Speaker 1>smart way to go about that. I think that makes

0:35:53.239 --> 0:36:01.200
<v Speaker 1>a lot of sense. I think, well, Jane, thanks for

0:36:01.239 --> 0:36:03.320
<v Speaker 1>sharing that with us.

0:36:04.040 --> 0:36:06.200
<v Speaker 4>Well, you're welcome. And can I ask you you think

0:36:06.280 --> 0:36:11.080
<v Speaker 4>that people seem addicted to drama? And obviously not every people, But.

0:36:12.760 --> 0:36:14.560
<v Speaker 1>Do I think that people are addicted to drama?

0:36:14.640 --> 0:36:14.839
<v Speaker 4>Oh?

0:36:14.960 --> 0:36:19.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean every everyone does. Every single you know,

0:36:19.160 --> 0:36:21.040
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if every single person that calls in

0:36:21.080 --> 0:36:25.640
<v Speaker 1>with a thing is I definitely no, I know what

0:36:25.640 --> 0:36:27.120
<v Speaker 1>you mean, though, I know you mean. I think drama

0:36:27.160 --> 0:36:29.520
<v Speaker 1>and conflict can totally be an addiction. I think there

0:36:29.520 --> 0:36:32.840
<v Speaker 1>are people out there who love getting into fights, they

0:36:32.920 --> 0:36:35.080
<v Speaker 1>love arguing. There there is a little bit of a

0:36:35.120 --> 0:36:39.799
<v Speaker 1>weird adrenaline rush that you get when you're in a

0:36:39.960 --> 0:36:42.160
<v Speaker 1>kind of a fuck you, no fuck you, no fuck

0:36:42.239 --> 0:36:46.280
<v Speaker 1>you kind of a kind of a conflict that people

0:36:46.320 --> 0:36:52.080
<v Speaker 1>do get addicted to. Because there's a rush there, and

0:36:52.440 --> 0:36:52.920
<v Speaker 1>I think that.

0:36:54.000 --> 0:36:57.360
<v Speaker 4>Isn't there also the fall, you know, the up and

0:36:57.400 --> 0:37:00.879
<v Speaker 4>the down, the high in the world. I would think

0:37:00.880 --> 0:37:02.880
<v Speaker 4>that there would be, and that the low would feel

0:37:03.160 --> 0:37:05.400
<v Speaker 4>so crappy you wouldn't want that high.

0:37:05.800 --> 0:37:10.959
<v Speaker 9>I think people just like having a common enemy, the

0:37:11.000 --> 0:37:14.920
<v Speaker 9>one that they can are, something that they can complain

0:37:15.000 --> 0:37:17.759
<v Speaker 9>about and be friends about because they have something to

0:37:17.800 --> 0:37:18.400
<v Speaker 9>complain about.

0:37:18.480 --> 0:37:21.280
<v Speaker 4>It's nothing that unites people more than a common enemy.

0:37:21.640 --> 0:37:25.600
<v Speaker 1>That is very true. People love a common enemy. Uh,

0:37:26.120 --> 0:37:29.320
<v Speaker 1>they like to fight. And you know, look, I think

0:37:29.400 --> 0:37:31.880
<v Speaker 1>that I mean, it's an addiction like any just like

0:37:32.080 --> 0:37:37.040
<v Speaker 1>any other addiction. It's like finding something outside of yourself

0:37:37.160 --> 0:37:41.560
<v Speaker 1>to fill a hole. That's some real therapy shit that

0:37:41.680 --> 0:37:44.000
<v Speaker 1>I myself am and I think a lot of people

0:37:44.000 --> 0:37:47.480
<v Speaker 1>are are trying to, uh to fix But you're you're

0:37:47.520 --> 0:37:51.320
<v Speaker 1>definitely right about it. Jada and Niki, Is there anything

0:37:51.320 --> 0:37:53.360
<v Speaker 1>else you guys wanna want to say to the people

0:37:53.360 --> 0:37:55.640
<v Speaker 1>of the computer. I appreciate you guys talking to me

0:37:55.760 --> 0:37:59.000
<v Speaker 1>for this long. I know, well, I mean, I guess honestly,

0:37:59.400 --> 0:38:01.160
<v Speaker 1>both you guys seems like you kind of have nothing

0:38:01.160 --> 0:38:02.879
<v Speaker 1>better to do because you're trapped in a car for

0:38:03.200 --> 0:38:04.880
<v Speaker 1>infinite hours. But thank you.

0:38:04.920 --> 0:38:09.080
<v Speaker 9>Still, I have one joke for you.

0:38:09.760 --> 0:38:14.440
<v Speaker 1>Oh you have a joke. What do you call a

0:38:14.480 --> 0:38:17.560
<v Speaker 1>dog with no legs?

0:38:18.320 --> 0:38:18.520
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

0:38:20.120 --> 0:38:22.600
<v Speaker 1>What do you call a dog with no legs?

0:38:24.040 --> 0:38:25.400
<v Speaker 9>It doesn't matter what you call.

0:38:25.280 --> 0:38:26.160
<v Speaker 4>Them, he's not gonna come.

0:38:28.760 --> 0:38:30.520
<v Speaker 1>Jane, NICKI, thank you guys for calling.

0:38:33.600 --> 0:38:34.799
<v Speaker 4>Thank you for taking our call.

0:38:35.120 --> 0:38:43.040
<v Speaker 1>Bye bye, take care guys. That was interesting. I liked

0:38:43.080 --> 0:38:46.680
<v Speaker 1>tearing from Jane and NICKI. Uh, they seem like they

0:38:46.680 --> 0:38:49.600
<v Speaker 1>have a good relationship with each other. And I liked

0:38:49.640 --> 0:38:55.200
<v Speaker 1>hearing Jane's perspective on conflict that, Uh, there's something to

0:38:55.239 --> 0:39:00.200
<v Speaker 1>glean from that, right, Like choose carefully who and what

0:39:00.840 --> 0:39:06.080
<v Speaker 1>you engage with as you maneuver around the world. Right,

0:39:06.239 --> 0:39:09.200
<v Speaker 1>Like you've ever been in traffic and some guy does

0:39:09.239 --> 0:39:11.439
<v Speaker 1>some fucking thing to piss you off, and you go, ah,

0:39:11.480 --> 0:39:14.400
<v Speaker 1>fuck you. You're like, you're engaging with this person, but

0:39:14.440 --> 0:39:16.440
<v Speaker 1>they don't deserve it. There's just some random motherfucker in

0:39:16.480 --> 0:39:20.520
<v Speaker 1>a car, you know, Like, really pick your spots, right,

0:39:21.080 --> 0:39:25.680
<v Speaker 1>And Jane was picking good spots. Right. She's a mother,

0:39:25.760 --> 0:39:29.319
<v Speaker 1>she's a grandmother, Her children are doing things that are

0:39:29.320 --> 0:39:31.560
<v Speaker 1>pissing her off. She's trying to set a good example.

0:39:31.640 --> 0:39:33.760
<v Speaker 1>She's trying her best to be a good authority figure,

0:39:34.280 --> 0:39:37.839
<v Speaker 1>and so that's a conflict that she'll engage with. She'll

0:39:37.920 --> 0:39:41.000
<v Speaker 1>engage with because it's an important conflict to engage with.

0:39:41.239 --> 0:39:43.759
<v Speaker 1>I think that's a good principle to follow. I try to,

0:39:44.080 --> 0:39:47.520
<v Speaker 1>you know, remind myself of that anytime I want to

0:39:47.520 --> 0:39:49.920
<v Speaker 1>get pissed off about something or engage in an argument

0:39:50.000 --> 0:39:53.000
<v Speaker 1>or a fight, I'm like, is this worth it? Is

0:39:53.040 --> 0:39:56.319
<v Speaker 1>this person that I'm about to fight with important enough

0:39:56.320 --> 0:39:58.400
<v Speaker 1>to me that I fight with them? Is this cause

0:39:58.960 --> 0:40:01.040
<v Speaker 1>important enough for me that I engage with this conflict?

0:40:01.040 --> 0:40:03.200
<v Speaker 1>Because if you don't do that, if you don't have

0:40:04.400 --> 0:40:09.040
<v Speaker 1>a I want to say, if you don't have a

0:40:09.120 --> 0:40:13.359
<v Speaker 1>standard by which like, if this conflict does not meet

0:40:13.400 --> 0:40:15.200
<v Speaker 1>my standard, I will not engage with it. If you

0:40:15.200 --> 0:40:17.919
<v Speaker 1>don't have that, then you just get whisked away by

0:40:17.960 --> 0:40:23.000
<v Speaker 1>any possible thing that could could take your attention to

0:40:23.000 --> 0:40:24.680
<v Speaker 1>to fuck around with it. And that's how you get

0:40:24.719 --> 0:40:28.800
<v Speaker 1>tired and exhausted with the world. So thank you Jane

0:40:28.840 --> 0:40:33.200
<v Speaker 1>for having that conversation with me. Hey, folks, these last

0:40:33.200 --> 0:40:35.640
<v Speaker 1>couple of calls are from a live stream that I

0:40:35.680 --> 0:40:40.200
<v Speaker 1>did with an adult film star named Kazumi. A quick

0:40:40.239 --> 0:40:44.680
<v Speaker 1>bio of Kazumi. She's a massive onlyfan star. She's been

0:40:44.719 --> 0:40:47.600
<v Speaker 1>on a bunch of other podcasts. We met at the

0:40:48.080 --> 0:40:52.279
<v Speaker 1>Avnxpo and I had her on my stream. She's very

0:40:52.320 --> 0:40:54.760
<v Speaker 1>funny and if you'd like to watch the full episode

0:40:54.760 --> 0:40:56.480
<v Speaker 1>I did with her, you can find it on my

0:40:56.520 --> 0:41:01.319
<v Speaker 1>YouTube channel YouTube dot com slash lie forever. All right,

0:41:01.440 --> 0:41:02.279
<v Speaker 1>let's get into it.

0:41:02.520 --> 0:41:04.239
<v Speaker 5>Hello, O wa.

0:41:05.880 --> 0:41:06.520
<v Speaker 10>Hi Jackson.

0:41:07.800 --> 0:41:10.200
<v Speaker 8>I'm so excited me. Hey guys, how are you doing.

0:41:11.280 --> 0:41:14.919
<v Speaker 10>I'm doing great. I'm really excited to talk to you.

0:41:14.920 --> 0:41:17.000
<v Speaker 10>You're taking my lyle virginity right now?

0:41:17.080 --> 0:41:20.520
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Jackson. It says here that you have an irrational

0:41:20.680 --> 0:41:23.040
<v Speaker 1>fear of holding babies.

0:41:25.200 --> 0:41:25.840
<v Speaker 10>I agree with that.

0:41:26.120 --> 0:41:31.080
<v Speaker 8>Yeah, that's what that's what I said. Yeah. Sorry, hold on,

0:41:31.160 --> 0:41:34.920
<v Speaker 8>I'm holding a baby righted, right now, let me kind

0:41:34.920 --> 0:41:35.960
<v Speaker 8>of compose myself.

0:41:36.080 --> 0:41:40.160
<v Speaker 1>Sure, tell us why you have a fear of holding babies?

0:41:43.160 --> 0:41:48.680
<v Speaker 8>Yeah, so, I guess my train of thought. I I

0:41:48.800 --> 0:41:51.440
<v Speaker 8>have a bunch of cousins right now who are my age,

0:41:52.880 --> 0:41:57.320
<v Speaker 8>who are having babies. They're married and having children, and

0:41:57.400 --> 0:42:00.200
<v Speaker 8>they're they're newborns like they were just born the couple

0:42:00.280 --> 0:42:07.080
<v Speaker 8>months ago. And I just what happens is as these

0:42:07.280 --> 0:42:09.640
<v Speaker 8>new mothers, especially cousins I've been hanging out with for

0:42:09.680 --> 0:42:14.120
<v Speaker 8>a really long time, they really they offer me and

0:42:14.200 --> 0:42:16.040
<v Speaker 8>like the rest of my family when we come and visit,

0:42:16.080 --> 0:42:21.160
<v Speaker 8>they offer for me to hold the baby. And honestly,

0:42:21.640 --> 0:42:26.359
<v Speaker 8>I just, I mean, I can kind of understand it.

0:42:26.400 --> 0:42:28.160
<v Speaker 8>They want to share. I mean, this is a new

0:42:28.160 --> 0:42:31.080
<v Speaker 8>member of my family and they're adorable, and I don't

0:42:31.120 --> 0:42:37.120
<v Speaker 8>hate babies. I just I think I would love to

0:42:37.880 --> 0:42:40.200
<v Speaker 8>enjoy it from afar, if that makes sense.

0:42:41.000 --> 0:42:42.919
<v Speaker 1>So this, I feel like this kind of ties into

0:42:42.960 --> 0:42:44.520
<v Speaker 1>what we were just talking about.

0:42:44.640 --> 0:42:44.799
<v Speaker 2>Right.

0:42:44.880 --> 0:42:50.120
<v Speaker 1>Do you have a fear of saying no when people

0:42:50.160 --> 0:42:56.520
<v Speaker 1>ask to hold the baby?

0:42:56.120 --> 0:43:02.319
<v Speaker 8>Are you asking me? I'm asking you, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

0:43:02.440 --> 0:43:06.200
<v Speaker 8>I Sometimes I'll say no and sometimes I'll say yes,

0:43:06.800 --> 0:43:12.520
<v Speaker 8>Like it really depends on how insistent or really, I

0:43:12.920 --> 0:43:15.520
<v Speaker 8>don't know. Sometimes I really don't want to hurt someone's feelings.

0:43:15.800 --> 0:43:17.839
<v Speaker 8>Sometimes I feel like they just take it personally when

0:43:17.880 --> 0:43:20.560
<v Speaker 8>I'm like, no, I just don't want to hold your baby.

0:43:21.000 --> 0:43:24.360
<v Speaker 10>There's an evolutionary study that says that you know back

0:43:24.800 --> 0:43:26.920
<v Speaker 10>that the reason why we like hug and squeeze things

0:43:26.960 --> 0:43:29.279
<v Speaker 10>that are cute is because way back in the day,

0:43:29.320 --> 0:43:31.480
<v Speaker 10>we would see those things as a fret. We would

0:43:31.560 --> 0:43:33.920
<v Speaker 10>see a cute, little furry animal, and we would want

0:43:33.960 --> 0:43:37.320
<v Speaker 10>to hold it tight, like so tight it explodes because

0:43:37.320 --> 0:43:39.920
<v Speaker 10>we want to get rid of it. You feel, do

0:43:39.960 --> 0:43:42.239
<v Speaker 10>you feel like when you hold a baby you just

0:43:42.440 --> 0:43:45.279
<v Speaker 10>want to squeeze it so hard it explodes, so that

0:43:45.360 --> 0:43:48.360
<v Speaker 10>way you are the cute it's not part of the family.

0:43:51.320 --> 0:43:54.080
<v Speaker 8>I mean, it's not quite that, because I know that

0:43:54.120 --> 0:43:56.520
<v Speaker 8>feeling that you're talking about. I definitely felt that before,

0:43:56.600 --> 0:43:59.880
<v Speaker 8>more towards like dogs or cats, just how you honestly

0:44:00.200 --> 0:44:03.040
<v Speaker 8>they or if that makes sense. But for the baby,

0:44:03.280 --> 0:44:07.000
<v Speaker 8>I just I just get stressed out when I just

0:44:07.200 --> 0:44:10.280
<v Speaker 8>I don't know. It's like my dark in truce is thoughts.

0:44:10.640 --> 0:44:11.480
<v Speaker 10>I know exactly.

0:44:11.520 --> 0:44:15.000
<v Speaker 8>I don't want to be responsible if something happened, like

0:44:15.480 --> 0:44:17.920
<v Speaker 8>if I was in charge of the baby and I

0:44:18.160 --> 0:44:21.040
<v Speaker 8>got distracted or I just wasn't paying attention and I

0:44:21.080 --> 0:44:22.200
<v Speaker 8>accidentally did something.

0:44:22.239 --> 0:44:23.480
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to be in charge of that.

0:44:23.880 --> 0:44:26.840
<v Speaker 1>I will say this, if you take what Kazumi just

0:44:26.880 --> 0:44:29.960
<v Speaker 1>said about the history of how people would squeeze babies

0:44:30.000 --> 0:44:32.279
<v Speaker 1>in order to kill them, and you told that to

0:44:32.320 --> 0:44:35.000
<v Speaker 1>whoever is asking you to hold a baby. They might

0:44:35.040 --> 0:44:37.040
<v Speaker 1>not let you hold the baby anymore, which would solve

0:44:37.080 --> 0:44:37.600
<v Speaker 1>your problem.

0:44:37.680 --> 0:44:38.440
<v Speaker 10>Problem solved.

0:44:38.640 --> 0:44:42.320
<v Speaker 8>Yeah, but there's also like that, I mean.

0:44:43.920 --> 0:44:47.239
<v Speaker 10>There's also like no go ahead. Those intrusive thoughts mean

0:44:47.280 --> 0:44:50.120
<v Speaker 10>that you just cherish the people around you, because there's

0:44:50.160 --> 0:44:51.920
<v Speaker 10>a study that you know, like we've all had that

0:44:51.960 --> 0:44:53.920
<v Speaker 10>fought where it's like we're driving down the highway and

0:44:53.920 --> 0:44:56.719
<v Speaker 10>we just want to snare and drive, or like if

0:44:56.719 --> 0:44:58.480
<v Speaker 10>I'm holding my keys, I just want to throw it

0:44:58.480 --> 0:45:01.080
<v Speaker 10>down the gutter, or like, see you, I value our

0:45:01.080 --> 0:45:03.920
<v Speaker 10>friendship so much I fantasize about spitting in your face,

0:45:04.400 --> 0:45:07.560
<v Speaker 10>knowing that it would ruin everything. And that intrusive thought

0:45:07.600 --> 0:45:10.360
<v Speaker 10>is what keeps me grounded to this planet, you know,

0:45:10.480 --> 0:45:12.880
<v Speaker 10>like it may It makes me realize like I'm human

0:45:12.880 --> 0:45:14.640
<v Speaker 10>and I'm feeling all the things i want to feel,

0:45:14.719 --> 0:45:16.759
<v Speaker 10>and I care about this baby, So do not let

0:45:16.800 --> 0:45:19.480
<v Speaker 10>me hold it because I'm afraid of what I'm capable of.

0:45:20.600 --> 0:45:22.480
<v Speaker 1>How would you feel about telling that to the to

0:45:22.840 --> 0:45:24.600
<v Speaker 1>these people that want you to hold their babies?

0:45:25.680 --> 0:45:32.280
<v Speaker 8>Jackson, You know what, well are you saying? Telling people?

0:45:32.480 --> 0:45:34.839
<v Speaker 8>Just admitting that this is an intrusive thought I have?

0:45:34.920 --> 0:45:39.239
<v Speaker 1>And yes, no, no, like what would like, look what

0:45:39.440 --> 0:45:41.040
<v Speaker 1>happened if you just told the truth about and you

0:45:41.080 --> 0:45:43.440
<v Speaker 1>were like, listen, I don't want to hold this baby because,

0:45:43.600 --> 0:45:45.680
<v Speaker 1>just for whatever reason, whenever I'm holding your baby, I

0:45:45.719 --> 0:45:48.279
<v Speaker 1>am also thinking about dropping it and crushing it and

0:45:48.320 --> 0:45:49.720
<v Speaker 1>then potentially eating it afterwards.

0:45:49.760 --> 0:45:51.600
<v Speaker 10>I definitely wouldn't let you hold my baby out way

0:45:51.880 --> 0:45:53.799
<v Speaker 10>and that way you want to say it.

0:45:53.840 --> 0:45:55.919
<v Speaker 8>I don't want to beat that blunt about it.

0:45:57.800 --> 0:46:00.400
<v Speaker 10>Then you can just drop the baby, Psycho.

0:46:01.560 --> 0:46:03.080
<v Speaker 8>If you dropped it, I can't do that.

0:46:03.239 --> 0:46:04.600
<v Speaker 10>I never have to hold a baby again.

0:46:04.719 --> 0:46:08.520
<v Speaker 1>That's a legitimate point. That's true. If you do one,

0:46:08.560 --> 0:46:09.880
<v Speaker 1>you never have to do it ever again.

0:46:11.000 --> 0:46:12.879
<v Speaker 10>Maybe trying like a baby put.

0:46:13.080 --> 0:46:17.840
<v Speaker 8>Also costs like three thousand dollars probably and maybe jail wait.

0:46:19.920 --> 0:46:20.160
<v Speaker 10>Drop.

0:46:20.840 --> 0:46:23.240
<v Speaker 1>Can I ask where you got that number from? Jackson?

0:46:25.480 --> 0:46:29.760
<v Speaker 8>I would I mean medical bills? If I like, okay,

0:46:29.840 --> 0:46:30.479
<v Speaker 8>what do you mean?

0:46:31.000 --> 0:46:31.160
<v Speaker 3>Oh?

0:46:31.200 --> 0:46:32.600
<v Speaker 10>I thought like you meant if I go on the

0:46:32.719 --> 0:46:34.960
<v Speaker 10>dark web. But I ask, like, for a hit on

0:46:35.040 --> 0:46:37.080
<v Speaker 10>a baby, it would cost three thousand dollars. That's that's

0:46:37.120 --> 0:46:40.480
<v Speaker 10>where my twisted. I was like, oh, it's only three k.

0:46:40.560 --> 0:46:43.400
<v Speaker 1>That's five dollars. I mean to kill a baby's pretty

0:46:43.440 --> 0:46:44.080
<v Speaker 1>good rating.

0:46:44.160 --> 0:46:47.680
<v Speaker 8>It's pretty low for a hit. Yeah, I know, that's really.

0:46:48.160 --> 0:46:49.000
<v Speaker 10>Six hundred dollars.

0:46:49.040 --> 0:46:50.319
<v Speaker 1>Abortions are only six hundred dollars.

0:46:50.320 --> 0:46:52.839
<v Speaker 10>Wortions are six hundred dollars without insurance, So you know.

0:46:52.840 --> 0:46:54.919
<v Speaker 8>What, I didn't think about it like that.

0:46:56.000 --> 0:46:57.840
<v Speaker 10>Yeah, I mean, you can save a lot of money,

0:46:58.040 --> 0:47:00.240
<v Speaker 10>but just having your family aboard.

0:47:00.719 --> 0:47:02.360
<v Speaker 1>Jackson's anything else you wanted to say to the people of.

0:47:02.320 --> 0:47:04.520
<v Speaker 8>The computer before.

0:47:06.560 --> 0:47:07.000
<v Speaker 6>Someone.

0:47:07.640 --> 0:47:10.759
<v Speaker 8>Yes, I I did smoke a little bit before I

0:47:10.760 --> 0:47:13.440
<v Speaker 8>got on the podcast, so I was And I'm really

0:47:13.480 --> 0:47:15.000
<v Speaker 8>glad I got to talk to you, Lyle.

0:47:16.920 --> 0:47:19.200
<v Speaker 10>Look Jackson, no one can tell when you're high, but

0:47:19.360 --> 0:47:21.000
<v Speaker 10>everyone can tell when you're insecure.

0:47:22.480 --> 0:47:23.000
<v Speaker 1>I like that.

0:47:23.400 --> 0:47:26.000
<v Speaker 8>Oh you know what, I'll take that. I'll take that

0:47:26.000 --> 0:47:29.319
<v Speaker 8>to hurt for sure. Glad I got to talk to

0:47:29.360 --> 0:47:33.080
<v Speaker 8>both of you, because, um, I'm I'm I take pride

0:47:33.160 --> 0:47:36.879
<v Speaker 8>and as wards taking your gecky, I will I will

0:47:36.880 --> 0:47:39.000
<v Speaker 8>wear that at the badge Oh my god.

0:47:39.200 --> 0:47:41.080
<v Speaker 1>Hell yeah, take care of Jackson.

0:47:43.120 --> 0:47:43.959
<v Speaker 8>Have a good night, guys.

0:47:44.160 --> 0:47:49.560
<v Speaker 1>I like your idea of basically taking u your intrusive

0:47:49.600 --> 0:47:52.960
<v Speaker 1>thoughts and like, really because you don't want to examine them, right,

0:47:53.040 --> 0:47:55.560
<v Speaker 1>you don't want to examine the fat But if you

0:47:55.600 --> 0:47:57.960
<v Speaker 1>face them and you were all like, what if you

0:47:57.960 --> 0:47:59.600
<v Speaker 1>were honest about them? But you told you listen, I

0:47:59.640 --> 0:48:01.640
<v Speaker 1>just have the thing and I'm not in control of it.

0:48:02.200 --> 0:48:04.520
<v Speaker 1>But it's telling me to drop your baby, and you're

0:48:04.520 --> 0:48:06.680
<v Speaker 1>just honest, like you're not a bad guy for the

0:48:06.719 --> 0:48:07.839
<v Speaker 1>thoughts that come into your head.

0:48:07.880 --> 0:48:09.759
<v Speaker 10>You're a bad guy if I tell you that and

0:48:09.800 --> 0:48:12.600
<v Speaker 10>then you make me hold your baby exactly like you

0:48:12.680 --> 0:48:15.200
<v Speaker 10>knew I was about to drop your fucking baby exactly.

0:48:15.320 --> 0:48:16.400
<v Speaker 1>That's on them if they give me.

0:48:17.160 --> 0:48:19.560
<v Speaker 10>Whenever I meet someone and I think they're really cool,

0:48:19.560 --> 0:48:22.080
<v Speaker 10>like when I meet you, I always imagine just freaking

0:48:22.160 --> 0:48:25.240
<v Speaker 10>curb stomping them because I know that you wouldn't forgive

0:48:25.239 --> 0:48:28.040
<v Speaker 10>me after, and that fear makes me just act right

0:48:28.719 --> 0:48:30.960
<v Speaker 10>like I'm just like, I just can't do that.

0:48:30.960 --> 0:48:33.359
<v Speaker 1>That would be fucked up. Our brains want to sabotage

0:48:33.719 --> 0:48:36.239
<v Speaker 1>things for not just because they're sadistic.

0:48:36.600 --> 0:48:40.240
<v Speaker 10>I think wherever fear is, that there is your task.

0:48:40.280 --> 0:48:43.200
<v Speaker 10>And once you face fear, you will learn so much

0:48:43.239 --> 0:48:46.120
<v Speaker 10>more about yourself and you know you have to battle

0:48:46.120 --> 0:48:47.200
<v Speaker 10>those intrusive thoughts.

0:48:47.600 --> 0:48:48.120
<v Speaker 1>I like that.

0:48:48.280 --> 0:48:52.040
<v Speaker 10>Yeah, I wish I could die for the attention.

0:48:53.000 --> 0:48:54.719
<v Speaker 1>Do you think you get a lot of attention on that? Yeah,

0:48:54.800 --> 0:48:59.000
<v Speaker 1>when you were in school, did you ever imagine your

0:48:59.040 --> 0:49:01.879
<v Speaker 1>own funeral and imagine how sad people will?

0:49:01.920 --> 0:49:06.120
<v Speaker 10>I committed suicide on Instagram like in high school, like

0:49:06.160 --> 0:49:08.920
<v Speaker 10>i'd like wrote, I wrote like a like a suicide

0:49:09.000 --> 0:49:11.160
<v Speaker 10>letter on Instagram and just logged off for like a

0:49:11.200 --> 0:49:15.680
<v Speaker 10>week comments just well yeah, because people were being me

0:49:15.760 --> 0:49:18.960
<v Speaker 10>in and then they stopped. They I think when I

0:49:18.960 --> 0:49:21.120
<v Speaker 10>didn't die, they were kind of like, dude.

0:49:20.960 --> 0:49:23.920
<v Speaker 1>Were they either? They must have been like I mean,

0:49:23.960 --> 0:49:27.040
<v Speaker 1>it's that's because you go from everyone is like remembering

0:49:27.120 --> 0:49:29.239
<v Speaker 1>you and then they're fucking pissed. Yeah.

0:49:29.360 --> 0:49:32.040
<v Speaker 10>Yeah that was not l move, not not like the

0:49:32.080 --> 0:49:34.480
<v Speaker 10>best thing I did. But I like the attention. I

0:49:34.520 --> 0:49:36.400
<v Speaker 10>wish I but that's you recover from that.

0:49:36.400 --> 0:49:37.640
<v Speaker 1>I feel like people would just be.

0:49:38.280 --> 0:49:40.120
<v Speaker 10>I transferred schools.

0:49:42.080 --> 0:49:42.479
<v Speaker 3>I did.

0:49:43.920 --> 0:49:44.040
<v Speaker 4>Who.

0:49:45.640 --> 0:49:47.120
<v Speaker 1>Hi, that's a good question.

0:49:47.440 --> 0:49:47.680
<v Speaker 7>Hello.

0:49:50.520 --> 0:49:51.319
<v Speaker 1>How's it going? Man?

0:49:53.600 --> 0:49:55.400
<v Speaker 7>It's going? How are you guys?

0:49:55.960 --> 0:49:58.719
<v Speaker 10>Hey? Are you less nervous to talk to women because

0:49:58.760 --> 0:50:00.800
<v Speaker 10>I'm a gecko?

0:50:02.760 --> 0:50:05.160
<v Speaker 2>Maybe a little bit? You look a little less intimidating.

0:50:05.800 --> 0:50:10.760
<v Speaker 10>Yeah, I look I look like less hot maybe tanner.

0:50:11.080 --> 0:50:13.560
<v Speaker 1>It says here that you're han't heard of anxiety talking

0:50:13.600 --> 0:50:16.200
<v Speaker 1>with women after having just gotten out of a four

0:50:16.280 --> 0:50:18.839
<v Speaker 1>year relationship, and you were unsure how to get back

0:50:18.880 --> 0:50:20.400
<v Speaker 1>into the dating scene. Do you want to tell us

0:50:20.440 --> 0:50:21.160
<v Speaker 1>more about this?

0:50:24.400 --> 0:50:27.960
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, So I got into a relationship when I was

0:50:28.280 --> 0:50:32.200
<v Speaker 7>like eighteen nineteen. I was with her for four years.

0:50:33.200 --> 0:50:34.560
<v Speaker 7>It was a pretty good relationship.

0:50:35.000 --> 0:50:36.360
<v Speaker 2>We had a really good breakup.

0:50:36.440 --> 0:50:39.360
<v Speaker 7>It was no almost heard, it was mutual. And this

0:50:39.520 --> 0:50:44.240
<v Speaker 7>was probably like two or three months ago. And recently

0:50:44.280 --> 0:50:46.839
<v Speaker 7>I've been wanting to get back out there and talk

0:50:46.920 --> 0:50:48.880
<v Speaker 7>to girls, get back in the dating scene. And then

0:50:49.000 --> 0:50:52.399
<v Speaker 7>I also just moved and started college, so I lost

0:50:52.440 --> 0:50:54.560
<v Speaker 7>a lot of my friends while I was in that relationship.

0:50:55.200 --> 0:50:59.080
<v Speaker 7>So I've been trying to make new friends, and lately

0:50:59.480 --> 0:51:03.399
<v Speaker 7>I had just been striking out. Every time I see

0:51:03.440 --> 0:51:05.040
<v Speaker 7>a girl and I want to go up to her

0:51:05.160 --> 0:51:07.480
<v Speaker 7>and talk to her or anything like that, I just

0:51:07.520 --> 0:51:13.200
<v Speaker 7>get overwhelmed with anxiety. And yeah, kind of my anxiety

0:51:13.239 --> 0:51:15.000
<v Speaker 7>is kind of takes over and I end up not

0:51:15.080 --> 0:51:16.560
<v Speaker 7>doing it well.

0:51:16.680 --> 0:51:19.000
<v Speaker 10>I have the ultimate RIZ tip for you. I was

0:51:19.040 --> 0:51:23.720
<v Speaker 10>in a relationship from thirteen to seventeen, so almost four years.

0:51:25.000 --> 0:51:27.839
<v Speaker 10>So I get you when you say, like getting back

0:51:27.840 --> 0:51:32.319
<v Speaker 10>into the market, and it's like your formative years and

0:51:32.360 --> 0:51:36.680
<v Speaker 10>like you're starting college. It feels like you don't understand

0:51:36.719 --> 0:51:41.640
<v Speaker 10>people for a while. My best advice when navigating the

0:51:41.680 --> 0:51:45.399
<v Speaker 10>opposite sex is realizing that despite what the Internet may

0:51:45.440 --> 0:51:47.600
<v Speaker 10>tell you, men and women are not much more alike

0:51:47.680 --> 0:51:50.759
<v Speaker 10>or different than you actually think. And the best way

0:51:50.800 --> 0:51:53.880
<v Speaker 10>to have a conversation with a woman is by being present, Like,

0:51:54.040 --> 0:51:55.880
<v Speaker 10>you're not gearing to have sex with me, You're not

0:51:55.920 --> 0:51:57.560
<v Speaker 10>even gearing to go on a date with me. You're

0:51:57.600 --> 0:52:02.760
<v Speaker 10>just gearing to get to know me and finding things

0:52:02.800 --> 0:52:06.000
<v Speaker 10>that you like to do and that empower you. So

0:52:06.080 --> 0:52:07.879
<v Speaker 10>let's say, if you have a hobby or if you're

0:52:07.880 --> 0:52:10.520
<v Speaker 10>going for a major that you're passionate about, I would

0:52:10.560 --> 0:52:13.000
<v Speaker 10>make sure that you are really good at those things

0:52:13.239 --> 0:52:15.160
<v Speaker 10>and you feel really good about yourself. So that way

0:52:15.200 --> 0:52:18.920
<v Speaker 10>you attract people who have shared values and shared interest

0:52:19.000 --> 0:52:21.160
<v Speaker 10>in hobbies, and that's the best way to find someone

0:52:21.280 --> 0:52:22.000
<v Speaker 10>compatible with you.

0:52:22.840 --> 0:52:24.200
<v Speaker 1>How do you feel about that, Tanner?

0:52:26.640 --> 0:52:30.880
<v Speaker 7>You know, that's that's some pretty good advice, and I

0:52:30.880 --> 0:52:34.360
<v Speaker 7>think I could use that. But I get in this

0:52:34.440 --> 0:52:38.040
<v Speaker 7>situation and I just let my anxiety take over, Like

0:52:38.080 --> 0:52:40.160
<v Speaker 7>I can't I feel like, I don't know if it's

0:52:40.160 --> 0:52:44.160
<v Speaker 7>a fear of rejection. I don't know if it's I

0:52:44.160 --> 0:52:44.879
<v Speaker 7>don't really know.

0:52:44.800 --> 0:52:45.239
<v Speaker 2>What it is.

0:52:45.320 --> 0:52:49.640
<v Speaker 3>But you tell a couple of days ago, no, go ahead,

0:52:49.719 --> 0:52:50.440
<v Speaker 3>go ahead, go ahead.

0:52:52.200 --> 0:52:54.520
<v Speaker 7>A couple a couple of days ago, I was at

0:52:54.600 --> 0:52:57.040
<v Speaker 7>Zoomies and I was picking up some stuff and me

0:52:57.120 --> 0:52:59.440
<v Speaker 7>and the girl behind the counter where we were just vibing,

0:53:00.239 --> 0:53:02.880
<v Speaker 7>and I really wanted to ask for a number. I

0:53:02.920 --> 0:53:05.600
<v Speaker 7>was thinking it. There was no one else there, and

0:53:06.320 --> 0:53:09.200
<v Speaker 7>I was so close, and then I just didn't do it.

0:53:09.400 --> 0:53:12.200
<v Speaker 7>And then I just walked out, and I just was like, fuck.

0:53:14.680 --> 0:53:15.120
<v Speaker 3>A hard.

0:53:15.800 --> 0:53:18.719
<v Speaker 1>But I didn't see that's such. That is a tough

0:53:18.880 --> 0:53:21.760
<v Speaker 1>scenario because you want to be respectful of the fact

0:53:22.000 --> 0:53:23.520
<v Speaker 1>that she's working, and shit.

0:53:24.000 --> 0:53:27.000
<v Speaker 10>There's a plot twist when I didn't. I don't sugar

0:53:27.040 --> 0:53:30.000
<v Speaker 10>baby anymore. But I've been a sugar baby to a

0:53:30.040 --> 0:53:32.720
<v Speaker 10>lot of guys who are really awkward, and I always

0:53:32.760 --> 0:53:35.799
<v Speaker 10>got lucky with my sugar daddy's being guys who are

0:53:35.840 --> 0:53:38.560
<v Speaker 10>just twenty six, twenty seven, Like they weren't old guys.

0:53:38.600 --> 0:53:41.359
<v Speaker 10>They were always just guys of weird, insecure handouts and

0:53:41.400 --> 0:53:45.200
<v Speaker 10>lots of anxiety, and they practiced on me how to

0:53:45.239 --> 0:53:48.200
<v Speaker 10>talk to girls like I and I would just unabashedly

0:53:48.200 --> 0:53:50.600
<v Speaker 10>say like you're being really weird or like hey, like

0:53:50.680 --> 0:53:53.200
<v Speaker 10>you need that is not how you go down good

0:53:53.200 --> 0:53:55.279
<v Speaker 10>to have that feedback that we had actually like great

0:53:55.320 --> 0:53:58.919
<v Speaker 10>feedback loops on like hey, like you know, like maybe

0:53:58.960 --> 0:54:01.239
<v Speaker 10>you should read this book or or something. And even

0:54:01.320 --> 0:54:03.239
<v Speaker 10>on my only fans to this day, I feel like

0:54:03.320 --> 0:54:05.879
<v Speaker 10>I help practice. I help men practice how to talk.

0:54:06.040 --> 0:54:08.439
<v Speaker 10>I'm a real woman, but how to talk to women

0:54:08.480 --> 0:54:11.480
<v Speaker 10>in their lives and realize I'm not that much different

0:54:11.520 --> 0:54:13.319
<v Speaker 10>than y'all. You know, it's like you want to talk

0:54:13.360 --> 0:54:15.799
<v Speaker 10>to me like a person. When I'm in public, the

0:54:15.800 --> 0:54:18.759
<v Speaker 10>best way a guy talks to me is not really

0:54:18.800 --> 0:54:21.440
<v Speaker 10>by introducing themselves and saying, hey, I'm lile to get go,

0:54:21.760 --> 0:54:25.319
<v Speaker 10>but kind of like just talking about the situation at hand,

0:54:25.400 --> 0:54:29.400
<v Speaker 10>like whoa, Like this line's taking forever, huh, crack a joke.

0:54:29.960 --> 0:54:33.719
<v Speaker 10>You know, you're just segueing yourself in there, and that

0:54:33.760 --> 0:54:36.880
<v Speaker 10>way it feels natural and not like you're a freaking predator.

0:54:38.360 --> 0:54:43.760
<v Speaker 10>You know what I mean.

0:54:41.160 --> 0:54:45.600
<v Speaker 1>When you say that your anxiety takes over. What does

0:54:45.640 --> 0:54:47.600
<v Speaker 1>that like look like? What do you mean by that?

0:54:52.640 --> 0:54:52.919
<v Speaker 5>I guess.

0:54:53.000 --> 0:54:58.319
<v Speaker 7>I really just start second guessing myself a lot, and

0:54:58.360 --> 0:54:59.080
<v Speaker 7>I almost.

0:54:58.800 --> 0:54:59.600
<v Speaker 2>Just get scared.

0:54:59.640 --> 0:55:02.160
<v Speaker 7>I feel like I'm just scared to ask for their number.

0:55:02.920 --> 0:55:04.400
<v Speaker 10>Do you have a little female friends?

0:55:04.880 --> 0:55:09.920
<v Speaker 7>I don't know, because honestly, since I've moved up to

0:55:10.719 --> 0:55:13.720
<v Speaker 7>where I moved to for school and everything, I honestly

0:55:13.760 --> 0:55:15.320
<v Speaker 7>have like no friends right now.

0:55:17.120 --> 0:55:21.000
<v Speaker 10>I would practice before looking for I wouldn't say a mate.

0:55:21.360 --> 0:55:23.719
<v Speaker 10>I would practice on working on yourself so that way

0:55:23.719 --> 0:55:27.120
<v Speaker 10>you're an attractive person both two men and women that

0:55:27.160 --> 0:55:29.000
<v Speaker 10>they want to hang out with you. And then when

0:55:29.040 --> 0:55:33.240
<v Speaker 10>you practice human connections like that, people of all genders

0:55:33.280 --> 0:55:34.920
<v Speaker 10>will be attracted to you, both as a friend and

0:55:34.960 --> 0:55:43.719
<v Speaker 10>both sexually and romantically. Okay, because I think it'd be

0:55:43.719 --> 0:55:47.440
<v Speaker 10>hard to have a girlfriend if you have no friends, Yeah,

0:55:47.600 --> 0:55:48.120
<v Speaker 10>I agree.

0:55:48.280 --> 0:55:50.279
<v Speaker 7>Yeah, And I'm not even going into it with like

0:55:50.400 --> 0:55:54.080
<v Speaker 7>really looking for I'm not even going into it really

0:55:54.080 --> 0:55:56.600
<v Speaker 7>looking for a girlfriend. Like I am almost going into

0:55:56.600 --> 0:56:00.680
<v Speaker 7>it just looking for friends almost. And I just started.

0:56:00.719 --> 0:56:02.520
<v Speaker 7>I just moved up here like two weeks ago, so

0:56:02.560 --> 0:56:05.319
<v Speaker 7>I haven't had too many chances to go out, but

0:56:05.840 --> 0:56:08.839
<v Speaker 7>like I've thought about going to like bars by myself.

0:56:08.960 --> 0:56:10.560
<v Speaker 7>But like at the end of the day, like talk

0:56:10.640 --> 0:56:12.880
<v Speaker 7>myself out of it. I end up just getting high,

0:56:13.120 --> 0:56:16.200
<v Speaker 7>sitting in my room and watching Gecko on the TV.

0:56:17.760 --> 0:56:20.840
<v Speaker 10>Yeah, do you have a Gecko addiction? Are you a addiction?

0:56:22.120 --> 0:56:25.160
<v Speaker 1>I will ban you from my child gecko addiction?

0:56:26.719 --> 0:56:27.760
<v Speaker 7>Oh please don't Gecko.

0:56:28.160 --> 0:56:30.879
<v Speaker 1>I won't ban you from from listen. If you want

0:56:30.880 --> 0:56:32.279
<v Speaker 1>me to less, if you want me to help to you,

0:56:32.320 --> 0:56:33.680
<v Speaker 1>I would addiction.

0:56:35.080 --> 0:56:36.560
<v Speaker 7>No, no, no, no, no, don't don't ban me.

0:56:38.880 --> 0:56:39.080
<v Speaker 8>Funk.

0:56:39.160 --> 0:56:41.319
<v Speaker 1>I was gonna say something good to you. Oh oh,

0:56:41.360 --> 0:56:44.960
<v Speaker 1>the whole going out to bars by yourself thingird? Okay, well,

0:56:44.960 --> 0:56:48.160
<v Speaker 1>hold on. I think the fact that it's kind of

0:56:48.200 --> 0:56:50.960
<v Speaker 1>weird is what is compelling about it, because it's like,

0:56:51.040 --> 0:56:54.040
<v Speaker 1>can you put yourself in like an uncomfortable situation and

0:56:54.080 --> 0:56:56.360
<v Speaker 1>be okay. I don't know if that's it's that's like

0:56:56.400 --> 0:56:58.759
<v Speaker 1>a difficult thing to do, to go up to put

0:56:58.800 --> 0:57:02.320
<v Speaker 1>to a bar by yourself, I think.

0:57:03.040 --> 0:57:06.960
<v Speaker 10>Or friends, it's hard when there's nothing I can see

0:57:07.000 --> 0:57:09.960
<v Speaker 10>that can relate us to one another, you know, Like

0:57:10.080 --> 0:57:13.719
<v Speaker 10>I it's easy when I'm in social situations like a

0:57:13.800 --> 0:57:16.240
<v Speaker 10>school club, like if we're both in chess club, or

0:57:16.280 --> 0:57:18.880
<v Speaker 10>we're both in a sport, or for both in class

0:57:18.920 --> 0:57:21.320
<v Speaker 10>and we have a common interest in a common some

0:57:21.440 --> 0:57:24.919
<v Speaker 10>type of commonality to have a conversation about before we

0:57:25.040 --> 0:57:29.040
<v Speaker 10>get deeper with one another. But I feel like sometimes

0:57:29.040 --> 0:57:31.400
<v Speaker 10>like bars and clubs can be difficult because I have

0:57:31.480 --> 0:57:35.680
<v Speaker 10>no idea what we have in common, and and sometimes

0:57:35.720 --> 0:57:38.640
<v Speaker 10>it's it feels like, Okay, you're just trying to have

0:57:38.720 --> 0:57:40.600
<v Speaker 10>sex with me, so I just want to go away.

0:57:41.720 --> 0:57:45.040
<v Speaker 10>But that's like, as a woman speaking speaking on that,

0:57:45.600 --> 0:57:48.000
<v Speaker 10>I think your best bet and like finding friends would

0:57:48.040 --> 0:57:51.360
<v Speaker 10>be like you know, like joining a club and like

0:57:52.160 --> 0:57:55.400
<v Speaker 10>you know, becoming contributing to your community in like a

0:57:55.440 --> 0:57:57.960
<v Speaker 10>fulfilling way.

0:57:58.600 --> 0:58:02.880
<v Speaker 2>Okay, else to say?

0:58:05.200 --> 0:58:06.800
<v Speaker 1>Is there anything you want to say to the people

0:58:06.800 --> 0:58:10.240
<v Speaker 1>of the computer or to me, or to Kazumi or

0:58:10.280 --> 0:58:11.720
<v Speaker 1>to Miles Davis before we go?

0:58:11.960 --> 0:58:15.040
<v Speaker 10>Who's Miles Davis? Uh?

0:58:15.360 --> 0:58:16.400
<v Speaker 2>Who is Miles Davis?

0:58:16.480 --> 0:58:17.240
<v Speaker 7>I love you both.

0:58:17.720 --> 0:58:20.560
<v Speaker 2>If anyone in the chat gets the opportunities, definitely do

0:58:20.720 --> 0:58:21.880
<v Speaker 2>some mushrooms in your.

0:58:21.760 --> 0:58:23.080
<v Speaker 3>Life, dude.

0:58:23.080 --> 0:58:25.320
<v Speaker 1>Shrims are the best take care of tenn.

0:58:26.480 --> 0:58:27.240
<v Speaker 7>I love shrims.

0:58:27.800 --> 0:58:30.760
<v Speaker 10>I love you, Bye bye, I love you. I had

0:58:30.760 --> 0:58:33.960
<v Speaker 10>a shroom trip where I experienced an ego death probably

0:58:33.960 --> 0:58:37.120
<v Speaker 10>two years ago, and it made me a way cooler person.

0:58:37.480 --> 0:58:42.439
<v Speaker 10>And people have recommended ayah juska or whatever ayahuasca ayahuasca

0:58:42.440 --> 0:58:44.680
<v Speaker 10>to me, but I'm afraid to see more of myself.

0:58:44.680 --> 0:58:46.200
<v Speaker 10>I think I'm really happy with where I am.

0:58:46.720 --> 0:58:48.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I think still relatable.

0:58:48.680 --> 0:58:51.440
<v Speaker 10>That's the thing. Yeah, I'm weird as fuck and I

0:58:51.480 --> 0:58:54.200
<v Speaker 10>have weird opinions, but I'm still relatable and grounded. I

0:58:54.200 --> 0:58:56.680
<v Speaker 10>feel like if I take ayahuasca, I would cross that

0:58:56.760 --> 0:58:58.640
<v Speaker 10>threshold of like, dude, you're a weird guy.

0:58:58.800 --> 0:59:00.320
<v Speaker 1>What's your weirdestinion?

0:59:01.720 --> 0:59:06.600
<v Speaker 10>I think my weirdest opinion is honestly, anything between consenting adults.

0:59:07.240 --> 0:59:08.280
<v Speaker 10>Is there a business?

0:59:08.840 --> 0:59:12.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah? Yeah? Is Why do you feel like that's a

0:59:12.000 --> 0:59:12.640
<v Speaker 1>weird opinion.

0:59:13.000 --> 0:59:19.520
<v Speaker 10>I think it's weird because people will decide for people

0:59:19.600 --> 0:59:24.200
<v Speaker 10>have a hard time distinguishing Hey, I wouldn't personally do

0:59:24.320 --> 0:59:29.240
<v Speaker 10>that versus hey, someone is doing this thing, yes, you know, Like, okay,

0:59:29.320 --> 0:59:33.040
<v Speaker 10>I personally going back to scat porn. I personally wouldn't

0:59:33.040 --> 0:59:36.320
<v Speaker 10>shit on myself on camera right and record it. But

0:59:36.480 --> 0:59:39.120
<v Speaker 10>I don't really care if you do. That's gotten fucking

0:59:39.400 --> 0:59:42.080
<v Speaker 10>nothing to do with me if it's not hurting you, right.

0:59:42.600 --> 0:59:46.320
<v Speaker 1>It's where I feel like I've been thinking about this.

0:59:46.840 --> 0:59:51.520
<v Speaker 1>I do feel like most people operate under the idea

0:59:51.640 --> 0:59:54.440
<v Speaker 1>that you should be able to do whatever you want

0:59:54.480 --> 0:59:59.360
<v Speaker 1>in life until you infringe upon somebody else's ability to

0:59:59.360 --> 1:00:01.640
<v Speaker 1>do whatever they want in life. And where they really

1:00:01.680 --> 1:00:07.520
<v Speaker 1>differ is whether or not something is uh, you know,

1:00:07.720 --> 1:00:10.280
<v Speaker 1>affecting their life that somebody else is doing.

1:00:10.360 --> 1:00:13.000
<v Speaker 10>Yeah, I feel like the Internet were innundated with everyone's

1:00:13.000 --> 1:00:15.440
<v Speaker 10>opinions or becoming a meme, which used to be my

1:00:15.480 --> 1:00:17.280
<v Speaker 10>worst fear. My worst fear.

1:00:18.120 --> 1:00:19.960
<v Speaker 1>You were afraid of becoming a meme.

1:00:20.040 --> 1:00:22.160
<v Speaker 10>I was afraid of becoming I'm now I'm a total

1:00:22.200 --> 1:00:22.720
<v Speaker 10>meme bro.

1:00:22.960 --> 1:00:24.840
<v Speaker 1>But like, why is why were you afraid of becoming

1:00:24.880 --> 1:00:25.200
<v Speaker 1>a meme?

1:00:25.320 --> 1:00:28.360
<v Speaker 10>Okay, here's the first meme that ever was of me.

1:00:28.880 --> 1:00:30.720
<v Speaker 10>If we're gonna talk the semantics of a meme. A

1:00:30.760 --> 1:00:34.120
<v Speaker 10>meme is a is a a cultural thing. It can

1:00:34.160 --> 1:00:37.720
<v Speaker 10>be a form of video or sound or or text

1:00:38.000 --> 1:00:40.919
<v Speaker 10>that is shared amongst the community, almost as an inside joke,

1:00:41.000 --> 1:00:47.200
<v Speaker 10>something that bonds people as you know, a cultural representative

1:00:47.240 --> 1:00:50.240
<v Speaker 10>of something. So the first meme of myself that was

1:00:50.280 --> 1:00:53.640
<v Speaker 10>ever created was me going to a pool party and

1:00:56.000 --> 1:00:59.160
<v Speaker 10>there was just a lot of guys there and they

1:00:59.560 --> 1:01:03.600
<v Speaker 10>said something like Hey, who's next? And I raised my hand.

1:01:03.640 --> 1:01:06.040
<v Speaker 10>I was like me, and they picked me up. They

1:01:06.120 --> 1:01:08.560
<v Speaker 10>threw me on the lawn and I sucked all their dicks.

1:01:08.720 --> 1:01:10.560
<v Speaker 10>It was a lot of ptises.

1:01:12.000 --> 1:01:12.960
<v Speaker 1>How is that a meme?

1:01:13.400 --> 1:01:16.360
<v Speaker 10>No? No, so I'll tell you. So I look up

1:01:16.600 --> 1:01:19.040
<v Speaker 10>and people were recording it. And at the time I

1:01:19.080 --> 1:01:22.080
<v Speaker 10>had a normal office girl job, so I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

1:01:22.160 --> 1:01:25.360
<v Speaker 10>I did not consent to being recorded to sucking fifty dicks.

1:01:25.400 --> 1:01:27.600
<v Speaker 10>Not fucking cool. I was on an OnlyFans girl. I

1:01:27.600 --> 1:01:31.200
<v Speaker 10>was not doing a porn girl lo and behold on Twitter,

1:01:31.560 --> 1:01:35.320
<v Speaker 10>someone posts a video and says something like, these Valley

1:01:35.360 --> 1:01:40.800
<v Speaker 10>girls are something else barf emoji. It got retweeted, quote retweeted,

1:01:41.080 --> 1:01:42.400
<v Speaker 10>hundreds of thousands of views.

1:01:42.520 --> 1:01:44.800
<v Speaker 1>Wait wait, so somebody wrote that these Valley girls something

1:01:44.800 --> 1:01:48.320
<v Speaker 1>else bar over over a video of you sucking fifty dicks.

1:01:48.440 --> 1:01:50.000
<v Speaker 10>I wouldn't say fifty, but it was like a just

1:01:50.160 --> 1:01:53.280
<v Speaker 10>like an ex well, yeah, several dicks, And so it

1:01:53.320 --> 1:01:55.200
<v Speaker 10>became this me. First of all, I'm not from the

1:01:55.240 --> 1:02:00.520
<v Speaker 10>fucking Valley. I'm from northeast LA. But it was a

1:02:00.560 --> 1:02:03.680
<v Speaker 10>meme and when I went to work, everyone saw it,

1:02:03.720 --> 1:02:07.120
<v Speaker 10>and everyone talked about it, and it was like my nightmare.

1:02:07.280 --> 1:02:08.760
<v Speaker 10>I did not want to be known for that. I

1:02:08.800 --> 1:02:11.520
<v Speaker 10>did not want to be condensed into an easily digestible,

1:02:12.520 --> 1:02:16.600
<v Speaker 10>like one note thing. I am not from the valley,

1:02:16.760 --> 1:02:18.560
<v Speaker 10>Like what, like.

1:02:18.560 --> 1:02:20.480
<v Speaker 1>So, how did you overcome the how did you then

1:02:20.600 --> 1:02:23.800
<v Speaker 1>start to build upon that momentum to be something more.

1:02:23.840 --> 1:02:25.600
<v Speaker 10>A lot of my people on my work knew about

1:02:25.600 --> 1:02:27.680
<v Speaker 10>it and had seen this video. Also, I'm not cute

1:02:27.680 --> 1:02:31.400
<v Speaker 10>in this video. I mean I've been a select my

1:02:31.440 --> 1:02:33.200
<v Speaker 10>whole life, Like people have shaved me and told me

1:02:33.240 --> 1:02:36.160
<v Speaker 10>to go die in a ditch over liking sucking dick

1:02:36.200 --> 1:02:38.520
<v Speaker 10>all the time. But I mean, your mom got cream pie.

1:02:38.560 --> 1:02:44.080
<v Speaker 10>We're all full grown. I don't fucking care if you

1:02:44.120 --> 1:02:47.960
<v Speaker 10>think it's gross. I didn't die. And like, I feel

1:02:47.960 --> 1:02:51.000
<v Speaker 10>like people get offended over seeing content like that because

1:02:51.040 --> 1:02:53.280
<v Speaker 10>they see themselves in it, and they see that my

1:02:53.520 --> 1:02:56.600
<v Speaker 10>joy in it is a reflection of like, hey, like

1:02:56.680 --> 1:02:58.520
<v Speaker 10>this is how to like look look at what the

1:02:58.560 --> 1:03:01.560
<v Speaker 10>world's become. If we're coming to this type of hedonism,

1:03:01.640 --> 1:03:04.160
<v Speaker 10>I don't want to identify that. I'm scared of the

1:03:04.200 --> 1:03:08.240
<v Speaker 10>world if we accept behavior like this. And I'm like, dude,

1:03:08.360 --> 1:03:11.720
<v Speaker 10>I am not fucking president I am. I'm not the

1:03:11.760 --> 1:03:15.800
<v Speaker 10>representative of sluts everywhere. I just sucked dick. It's my right, God,

1:03:16.320 --> 1:03:18.880
<v Speaker 10>and it became a meme. But I was really good

1:03:18.920 --> 1:03:22.560
<v Speaker 10>at my job, so it didn't matter. So swag.

1:03:24.760 --> 1:03:27.600
<v Speaker 1>You feel like people see themselves in it. I wonder

1:03:27.600 --> 1:03:28.680
<v Speaker 1>that too, because I really I.

1:03:31.120 --> 1:03:33.560
<v Speaker 10>My biggest meme ever was when I went on a

1:03:33.600 --> 1:03:35.600
<v Speaker 10>jumper and I talked about fucking those fifty guys and

1:03:35.680 --> 1:03:38.240
<v Speaker 10>how I had a body count of one million bill jillion,

1:03:38.720 --> 1:03:42.439
<v Speaker 10>and people got really mad. And at first you'd think,

1:03:42.640 --> 1:03:45.360
<v Speaker 10>why is anyone mad over a gang bang? Shouldn't everyone

1:03:45.400 --> 1:03:47.960
<v Speaker 10>be happy? That means I got love for everybody. I've

1:03:48.000 --> 1:03:50.200
<v Speaker 10>never been mean to a guy ever. I love men,

1:03:50.640 --> 1:03:52.600
<v Speaker 10>and like I love like my fans and I have

1:03:52.640 --> 1:03:54.560
<v Speaker 10>a discord and I'm nice to them. I've like never

1:03:54.640 --> 1:03:58.840
<v Speaker 10>even like been a dickhead to a guy. But I

1:03:58.880 --> 1:04:00.920
<v Speaker 10>feel like people see it and they see it as

1:04:00.920 --> 1:04:04.800
<v Speaker 10>a representative of like woman. They're like, oh, look, what

1:04:05.480 --> 1:04:07.560
<v Speaker 10>if this girl is successful and happy? What does that

1:04:07.680 --> 1:04:08.760
<v Speaker 10>mean for the common girl?

1:04:09.120 --> 1:04:09.240
<v Speaker 1>Right?

1:04:09.320 --> 1:04:13.000
<v Speaker 10>If she exists and she's successful, does that mean that

1:04:13.040 --> 1:04:15.640
<v Speaker 10>all girls everywhere are gonna get gang bank? Like my

1:04:15.720 --> 1:04:17.000
<v Speaker 10>wife is gonna get gang bank.

1:04:17.040 --> 1:04:19.800
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, no, it's well I hate when that because

1:04:19.840 --> 1:04:21.440
<v Speaker 1>there's different people want different things.

1:04:21.560 --> 1:04:24.280
<v Speaker 10>Yeah, Like you're the person you're dating doesn't have to

1:04:24.280 --> 1:04:26.520
<v Speaker 10>be a gang bank queen like what like you you

1:04:26.560 --> 1:04:28.840
<v Speaker 10>will attract exactly what you are. And if you're a

1:04:28.880 --> 1:04:32.040
<v Speaker 10>guy who's a one woman type of guide and you're

1:04:32.080 --> 1:04:34.720
<v Speaker 10>gonna hopefully attract a girl that's a one guy type

1:04:34.720 --> 1:04:35.240
<v Speaker 10>of right.

1:04:35.280 --> 1:04:38.439
<v Speaker 1>It's like the people who want to like do their thing,

1:04:38.520 --> 1:04:40.600
<v Speaker 1>do their thing. The people who want to gang bank

1:04:40.640 --> 1:04:40.840
<v Speaker 1>do that.

1:04:43.120 --> 1:04:46.000
<v Speaker 10>Think the world is smaller even though it's way bigger.

1:04:46.600 --> 1:04:49.120
<v Speaker 10>Like for example, like I've been in a lot of

1:04:49.160 --> 1:04:52.800
<v Speaker 10>media affiliated with Andrew Tate in his community, but honestly,

1:04:52.880 --> 1:04:55.760
<v Speaker 10>in real life, I've never really met those people. I

1:04:55.760 --> 1:04:59.040
<v Speaker 10>don't surround myself with those people for entertainment purposes. The

1:04:59.080 --> 1:05:01.720
<v Speaker 10>controversy and the je position is great views, and that's

1:05:01.760 --> 1:05:04.479
<v Speaker 10>why we we collaborate with together together. But that's something

1:05:04.520 --> 1:05:07.720
<v Speaker 10>we consciously do because we know it creates discussion, and

1:05:07.760 --> 1:05:08.560
<v Speaker 10>that's how we created.

1:05:08.600 --> 1:05:11.200
<v Speaker 1>Meme memes are crazy.

1:05:11.240 --> 1:05:12.680
<v Speaker 10>Memes are memes are propaganda.

1:05:13.200 --> 1:05:14.960
<v Speaker 1>Memes. Memes are a little propaganda.

1:05:15.080 --> 1:05:19.120
<v Speaker 10>Memes are propaganda, and I there was a realization sometime

1:05:19.200 --> 1:05:21.560
<v Speaker 10>last year when I realized that liking me wasn't cool.

1:05:21.880 --> 1:05:25.240
<v Speaker 10>So I decided to Yeah, because like people were like, ew,

1:05:25.440 --> 1:05:28.640
<v Speaker 10>I hate this tree who doesn't shower, And I realized

1:05:28.640 --> 1:05:31.600
<v Speaker 10>I had to make Kazumi a cool thing. And I

1:05:31.640 --> 1:05:35.160
<v Speaker 10>think it's finally becoming cool. I'm a gecko. I made it.

1:05:35.320 --> 1:05:37.440
<v Speaker 10>I got my blue track. Life is good.

1:05:37.760 --> 1:05:40.480
<v Speaker 1>Why do you think it was not cool to like you?

1:05:41.320 --> 1:05:43.440
<v Speaker 10>I was in I was affiliated with a lot of

1:05:43.480 --> 1:05:46.960
<v Speaker 10>media that, although made me a lot of money, because

1:05:46.960 --> 1:05:50.160
<v Speaker 10>it was so false, like it was controversial. Yeah, it

1:05:50.160 --> 1:05:52.560
<v Speaker 10>was controversial. It got a lot of views and it

1:05:52.680 --> 1:05:56.640
<v Speaker 10>created and I was outsourcing my audience to people that

1:05:56.800 --> 1:05:59.880
<v Speaker 10>definitely didn't agree with people like me. I had to.

1:06:00.320 --> 1:06:02.200
<v Speaker 10>I had to change my image and clean it up

1:06:02.240 --> 1:06:05.320
<v Speaker 10>so that way people would kind of get where I'm

1:06:05.320 --> 1:06:07.200
<v Speaker 10>coming from. Like, I never want to let go of

1:06:07.240 --> 1:06:09.560
<v Speaker 10>the fact that I'm a slutty, dirty girl. That is

1:06:09.600 --> 1:06:11.760
<v Speaker 10>not something that I want to kill or even a race.

1:06:11.920 --> 1:06:14.760
<v Speaker 10>It's something that I want to show can still exist

1:06:14.760 --> 1:06:17.880
<v Speaker 10>while being a multifaceted human being with a lot of opinions.

1:06:17.960 --> 1:06:22.040
<v Speaker 1>Well, I strongly agree with the idea that no one

1:06:22.120 --> 1:06:23.800
<v Speaker 1>part of yourself defines any other.

1:06:23.720 --> 1:06:28.400
<v Speaker 10>Part of Yeah, like I freaking am as normal as

1:06:28.440 --> 1:06:31.240
<v Speaker 10>apple pot. You know, like I'm a pretty normal girl.

1:06:31.280 --> 1:06:33.280
<v Speaker 10>I like, you know, I love Shrek. I like dress

1:06:33.360 --> 1:06:36.040
<v Speaker 10>from my Gecko costume. I eat three crunchy rolls.

1:06:36.360 --> 1:06:38.640
<v Speaker 1>You know, I'm to feel more connected to Shrek by

1:06:38.680 --> 1:06:40.040
<v Speaker 1>being green and being green.

1:06:40.920 --> 1:06:41.120
<v Speaker 5>You know.

1:06:41.160 --> 1:06:43.360
<v Speaker 10>My first party I ever threw was a Shrek party.

1:06:43.480 --> 1:06:46.720
<v Speaker 10>Really had that also sex, No, No, this was I

1:06:46.800 --> 1:06:49.520
<v Speaker 10>just liked Shrek. We had like green mac and cheese

1:06:49.600 --> 1:06:51.120
<v Speaker 10>to represent his ears, and we had a lot of

1:06:51.160 --> 1:06:55.040
<v Speaker 10>onion rings and we watched Shreks one, two, three, Puss

1:06:55.040 --> 1:06:59.200
<v Speaker 10>in Boots and Shrek the Musical and Billie Eilish's brother

1:06:59.400 --> 1:07:00.400
<v Speaker 10>phineas there.

1:07:00.840 --> 1:07:02.000
<v Speaker 1>This was like a This must have been like a

1:07:02.000 --> 1:07:03.040
<v Speaker 1>seven hour long party.

1:07:03.120 --> 1:07:05.480
<v Speaker 10>This was a really long party that started at eleven

1:07:05.520 --> 1:07:07.880
<v Speaker 10>am and was done by like eight.

1:07:08.200 --> 1:07:11.680
<v Speaker 1>Literally, Get goes on the line making his phone calls

1:07:11.760 --> 1:07:12.320
<v Speaker 1>every night.

1:07:12.840 --> 1:07:14.560
<v Speaker 3>Mraphy, Get goes to on his ride.

1:07:14.680 --> 1:07:16.840
<v Speaker 10>He's teaching you a loud in the lid of your life,

1:07:17.200 --> 1:07:19.360
<v Speaker 10>but he's not really an expert.