WEBVTT - Mormon Wives “Villains” Demi & Bret Engemann 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:02.520 Some listeners may find this content disturbing. 0:00:02.600 --> 0:00:05.640 This episode discusses suicide. Please proceed with caution. 0:00:24.600 --> 0:00:28.080 Hey there, everybody, welcome to I Do Part two. It's 0:00:28.160 --> 0:00:31.440 your hosts, your sometimes hosts. I guess we rotate a 0:00:31.480 --> 0:00:34.560 lot here, Amy Robock and TJ. Holmes, And we are 0:00:34.680 --> 0:00:39.320 so excited because we have our next two guests in 0:00:39.360 --> 0:00:42.400 person with us at the iHeart Studios. We're going to 0:00:42.440 --> 0:00:47.040 be talking divorce, marriage, reality TV and of course, well 0:00:47.200 --> 0:00:49.280 I hate to mention it, but we have to go there. 0:00:49.320 --> 0:00:53.000 At least one question on Rudy Pebble's from the Secret 0:00:53.159 --> 0:00:57.600 Lives of Mormon. Why it is the me and Brett 0:00:57.600 --> 0:01:00.840 who need no introduction? How are we all today? 0:01:01.000 --> 0:01:03.200 Good? Were you? Thanks for having us? 0:01:03.240 --> 0:01:06.320 Why did y'all immediately laugh? I'm glad you said it. 0:01:06.319 --> 0:01:11.319 I would be worried somebody y'all might throw water, but 0:01:11.600 --> 0:01:14.520 I'm the only one in the room who wasn't. But 0:01:14.600 --> 0:01:17.440 it's good to see you guys in person. My goodness, 0:01:17.480 --> 0:01:20.720 And again, everybody that comes on this podcast means they 0:01:20.720 --> 0:01:22.680 didn't get it right the first time around. Both of 0:01:22.680 --> 0:01:25.039 you all second marriage for both of you. Let me 0:01:25.080 --> 0:01:29.000 ask this, what did the show do for your relationship 0:01:29.240 --> 0:01:31.880 being on momon wise can I said, what impact did 0:01:31.880 --> 0:01:32.360 it have on you? 0:01:32.400 --> 0:01:33.679 We were just talking about last night. 0:01:33.840 --> 0:01:37.240 I mean it's strengthened us, like you can't believe going 0:01:37.680 --> 0:01:38.280 too far away. 0:01:38.600 --> 0:01:40.120 Yeah, just strengthened us. 0:01:41.360 --> 0:01:42.880 It put us in a lot of situations that you 0:01:42.880 --> 0:01:46.520 don't typically anticipate being Obviously, you know you're in a 0:01:46.520 --> 0:01:49.960 reality TV show or it's reality TV, but there are 0:01:49.960 --> 0:01:51.800 a lot of things that are you know, they kind 0:01:51.800 --> 0:01:55.920 of contrive that puts you in challenging situations and so 0:01:56.400 --> 0:02:01.360 but yeah, we've we've grown so much closer and just 0:02:01.680 --> 0:02:03.600 we've had to kind of up the game in terms 0:02:03.600 --> 0:02:06.040 of just communicating because when you're in the again, back 0:02:06.040 --> 0:02:09.960 to reality TV, the lines of reality can become so blurred, 0:02:10.440 --> 0:02:14.680 and so really making sure that you communicate clearly becomes 0:02:14.880 --> 0:02:19.120 totally crucial increasingly, so I think, yeah. 0:02:18.760 --> 0:02:19.400 No, agreed. 0:02:19.720 --> 0:02:23.000 We literally were just having a conversation last night after 0:02:23.120 --> 0:02:25.119 seeing Whitney on Broadway, and we were just talking about 0:02:25.160 --> 0:02:28.040 the whole experience. You know, it's all been so fast 0:02:28.080 --> 0:02:30.680 paced and crazy. We're like, we're sitting here in New 0:02:30.760 --> 0:02:33.840 York watching Whitney on Broadway. They started with the dance 0:02:33.960 --> 0:02:36.640 like this is wild and like a swinging scandal, and 0:02:36.680 --> 0:02:38.840 we're just sitting there talking about where we were to 0:02:38.880 --> 0:02:42.560 where we are and our fertility struggles and just everything 0:02:43.080 --> 0:02:46.919 and finding that silver lining in how much stronger our 0:02:46.960 --> 0:02:49.600 relationship is today than it was before all of this, 0:02:50.400 --> 0:02:52.680 And I think that's rare. And we were like, what 0:02:52.840 --> 0:02:58.400 is that? What's the component? And we said communicating, communicating 0:02:58.440 --> 0:03:00.840 and being able to speak freely to each other and 0:03:01.040 --> 0:03:06.200 genuinely seeking to understand one another. And I think it's 0:03:06.240 --> 0:03:08.239 like really like we kind of pat ourselves on the 0:03:08.280 --> 0:03:10.799 back because I'm like, that's so. I mean, we've been 0:03:10.960 --> 0:03:14.120 this isn't our first rodeo, as we said before, but 0:03:14.440 --> 0:03:16.799 we've learned the lessons along the way, and we genuinely 0:03:16.800 --> 0:03:20.520 put in the work and at the end of the day, like, 0:03:20.639 --> 0:03:24.920 relationships are not about it being perfect all the time. 0:03:25.000 --> 0:03:28.080 It's about how you handle those struggles and how you 0:03:28.120 --> 0:03:30.560 communicate and work through them. So I'm just I'm proud 0:03:30.560 --> 0:03:33.040 of us for the way that we have weathered so 0:03:33.080 --> 0:03:34.639 many different storms grow together. 0:03:34.800 --> 0:03:37.320 Have we ever gotten that answer before that? Yeah, Reality 0:03:37.360 --> 0:03:38.920 TV was good for my relationship. 0:03:40.360 --> 0:03:43.560 In fact, that was actually very surprisingly makes sense. I 0:03:43.600 --> 0:03:45.600 was not expecting it, but is it? Would you say? 0:03:45.960 --> 0:03:49.160 Because and look, we have watched some of the show 0:03:49.520 --> 0:03:53.200 a couple of the different seasons, but it's jumped out 0:03:53.360 --> 0:03:56.680 to us that even when you're not on camera and 0:03:56.720 --> 0:04:00.440 you're not being shown, you're constantly being talked about, I 0:04:00.480 --> 0:04:04.520 mean to me, and even Brett comes out of everyone's 0:04:04.600 --> 0:04:07.520 mouths at least in every scene. I was like, this 0:04:07.720 --> 0:04:12.520 is remarkable to be talked about, Yeah, that much on 0:04:12.600 --> 0:04:14.840 a show that you kind of pulled back from a 0:04:14.840 --> 0:04:18.040 little bit. I'm curious, is it kind of an us 0:04:18.120 --> 0:04:20.359 versus them mentality where you will you all felt like 0:04:20.400 --> 0:04:23.640 maybe you were being attacked together, so it kind of 0:04:23.680 --> 0:04:29.279 strengthened you all to hold down your own personal relationship 0:04:29.320 --> 0:04:31.040 while other people were attacking it. 0:04:31.360 --> 0:04:32.360 Yeah, a little bit. 0:04:33.880 --> 0:04:39.640 I also just think that it uncovered so many wounds 0:04:39.720 --> 0:04:44.279 for both of us that and we were implementing so 0:04:44.400 --> 0:04:47.279 many incredible tools on the side, right, like therapy and 0:04:47.360 --> 0:04:51.880 so many different modalities that helped us navigate it. And 0:04:52.040 --> 0:04:55.480 as those things were uncovered, I feel like we both 0:04:55.480 --> 0:04:58.240 are pretty introspective and you know, self aware, and we 0:04:58.320 --> 0:05:00.359 both would be like, Okay, what is this kind of 0:05:00.400 --> 0:05:01.599 stirring up in us. 0:05:02.000 --> 0:05:04.520 And what is this really at the root. 0:05:04.839 --> 0:05:07.240 And so as we would have things come up in 0:05:07.360 --> 0:05:10.440 wounds and triggers and trauma, we would kind of turn 0:05:10.560 --> 0:05:12.440 like either to our therapists or to each other and 0:05:12.440 --> 0:05:15.920 be like, Okay, I know that your intentions are good, 0:05:15.960 --> 0:05:18.760 I know your heart is good. So what's really coming up? 0:05:19.200 --> 0:05:21.320 And we would face that head on, Like genuinely when 0:05:21.400 --> 0:05:23.480 I say that, we both put in the freaking work 0:05:24.000 --> 0:05:27.560 day in and day out, and I think, yes, I 0:05:27.560 --> 0:05:29.440 think to answer your question, I think it did be 0:05:29.520 --> 0:05:31.880 kind of, you know, come come to a point where 0:05:31.920 --> 0:05:35.719 it was like, this is us together. We are not 0:05:35.880 --> 0:05:40.320 fighting each other, it's us against the problem. And I 0:05:40.440 --> 0:05:42.400 honestly think that's how we've gotten through. 0:05:43.640 --> 0:05:43.839 Yeah. 0:05:43.920 --> 0:05:50.000 The other thing is that it's it's funny because you 0:05:50.000 --> 0:05:53.040 you learn to kind of understand that the things that 0:05:53.080 --> 0:05:54.880 people are talking about, for the most part, that are 0:05:54.880 --> 0:06:01.160 controversial or or that might be make you uncomfortable or 0:06:01.160 --> 0:06:03.240 make you feel bad about yourself, all of those things, 0:06:03.240 --> 0:06:06.520 for the most part, are fictional things, if that makes sense, 0:06:06.600 --> 0:06:09.320 Like the things that they're hating about, you know, to me, 0:06:09.640 --> 0:06:13.359 I mean fictional things. I mean that there it's almost 0:06:13.400 --> 0:06:17.280 like she's become a fictional villain, and so it's like 0:06:17.760 --> 0:06:23.240 learning how to separate, you know, myself from that. I 0:06:23.240 --> 0:06:26.719 think has been just learning how to separate myself from 0:06:26.800 --> 0:06:28.440 what is real and what is not, just kind of 0:06:28.520 --> 0:06:32.160 learning that most of most of the things that are 0:06:32.160 --> 0:06:33.680 controversial are fictional. 0:06:34.040 --> 0:06:37.200 In reality TV, yeah, or that people aren't getting the 0:06:37.240 --> 0:06:39.520 full picture right, like and people will say that, you 0:06:39.560 --> 0:06:42.160 see the sound minds online that are like, guys, this 0:06:42.240 --> 0:06:45.720 is a show. Remember, like these are people, There's nuances, 0:06:45.720 --> 0:06:49.200 there's context that's missing, and everyone knows that. It's like 0:06:49.240 --> 0:06:50.719 we want to protect this thing. And it's like, at 0:06:50.760 --> 0:06:53.360 the end of the day, it's entertainment, it's a show, 0:06:53.440 --> 0:06:55.520 and you're not getting the entire full picture. 0:06:55.600 --> 0:06:56.520 Is the drama real? 0:06:56.640 --> 0:06:56.960 Sure? 0:06:57.279 --> 0:06:58.480 Are the storylines real? 0:06:58.680 --> 0:07:02.119 Yeah, for the most part, But there's context missing, there's 0:07:02.279 --> 0:07:05.800 things missing, and you're not getting the full picture of 0:07:06.240 --> 0:07:08.080 who I am day in and day out, who he is, 0:07:08.200 --> 0:07:11.120 how our relationship is. And so I think you know, 0:07:11.200 --> 0:07:14.560 the sound minds understand that, and so you know then 0:07:14.560 --> 0:07:16.360 you're able to just take a step back and not 0:07:16.400 --> 0:07:17.200 take it as personally. 0:07:17.280 --> 0:07:19.560 But the sound mind seems huge and far. 0:07:21.640 --> 0:07:24.560 Yes, I wish more sound minds would speak up because 0:07:24.600 --> 0:07:26.280 people will come up and they're like, there's more people 0:07:26.280 --> 0:07:28.120 behind you than you know, And I'm like, where are. 0:07:27.960 --> 0:07:33.600 Those They can't be heard louder by the craziest. But 0:07:33.680 --> 0:07:36.160 you you talk about separating though, bread, but you're still 0:07:36.280 --> 0:07:38.640 a dude who loves his wife and there are people 0:07:38.680 --> 0:07:41.800 saying things about your wife that are wrong and awful. 0:07:42.200 --> 0:07:45.880 How are you maybe, even if you don't say something 0:07:45.920 --> 0:07:49.200 on social media, say something how internally even do you 0:07:49.360 --> 0:07:51.640 keep your heart rate from going up? 0:07:51.760 --> 0:07:52.760 Have you been able to be. 0:07:52.720 --> 0:07:54.680 In a process? Yeah, I mean it's been Yeah, it's 0:07:54.680 --> 0:07:56.560 been a learning process. But it goes back to just 0:07:56.680 --> 0:08:00.160 separating what's real from what's not. And like literally when 0:08:00.160 --> 0:08:02.240 they're talking about her, when I when I read the 0:08:02.280 --> 0:08:04.040 things that they say, it's like I just have to 0:08:04.040 --> 0:08:07.800 say that is a completely fictional person they're talking about. Otherwise, 0:08:08.280 --> 0:08:10.400 I mean, I just want to light the world on fire. 0:08:12.480 --> 0:08:16.440 That his achilles heel, honestly, Like when when I get 0:08:16.480 --> 0:08:19.360 brought up, I mean it's the same way for me too, 0:08:19.440 --> 0:08:21.320 Like I get so fired up when I see them 0:08:21.320 --> 0:08:23.280 talking about him, and I'm like, if you knew the 0:08:23.360 --> 0:08:26.520 kind of man this man is, and dad and husband 0:08:27.080 --> 0:08:31.280 and just friend and general, like I get emotionally just charged. 0:08:31.360 --> 0:08:33.800 I'm like, don't talk about him that way. And then 0:08:33.840 --> 0:08:36.400 I read about me and it's like this page and 0:08:36.400 --> 0:08:36.680 I'm like. 0:08:38.720 --> 0:08:41.480 I know my truth. I know my truth. I'm curious though, 0:08:41.520 --> 0:08:45.760 because I actually we talked about this in another episode 0:08:46.120 --> 0:08:48.720 for me personally in my life, and we've told you 0:08:48.760 --> 0:08:51.400 guys when we walked in. We were divorced twice, so 0:08:51.440 --> 0:08:53.800 we know what it's like to go through relationship breakups 0:08:53.800 --> 0:08:56.800 and heartache and in front of the public. But some 0:08:56.880 --> 0:09:00.000 of the hardest breakups for me have been with female friends. 0:09:00.040 --> 0:09:04.400 It's like relationship ending situations have been the most traumatizing 0:09:04.440 --> 0:09:07.440 for me with my other girlfriends. How have you navigated that? 0:09:08.480 --> 0:09:09.200 Oh? 0:09:09.280 --> 0:09:11.720 Shed about it every night? 0:09:11.920 --> 0:09:14.880 Not about these friendships necessarily, but it definitely does like 0:09:14.920 --> 0:09:20.720 trigger old friendships. So yeah, it can feel harder than 0:09:20.960 --> 0:09:23.680 a breakup. And I don't know, I lost, you know, 0:09:23.800 --> 0:09:25.720 my best friend at the same time that I lost 0:09:25.840 --> 0:09:29.520 my ex husband, and I was kind of mourning both relationships. 0:09:30.040 --> 0:09:33.440 But I definitely was like dreaming about my ex best 0:09:33.440 --> 0:09:36.760 friend every single night, thinking about that, stewing over it 0:09:36.920 --> 0:09:37.440 far more. 0:09:37.520 --> 0:09:39.240 And maybe it's because my ex husband was. 0:09:39.240 --> 0:09:41.760 Still in my life and we were co parenting, and 0:09:41.800 --> 0:09:45.520 like the other friend, it was just like gone. I 0:09:45.559 --> 0:09:47.400 don't know, but that felt way harder. 0:09:47.520 --> 0:09:50.000 Like are you talking about Jesse. No, no, no, this 0:09:50.040 --> 0:09:50.280 is a. 0:09:50.200 --> 0:09:58.760 Past relationship, like a past dear dear childhood friend. No. No, 0:09:58.880 --> 0:10:01.760 I mean it's yeah, you get close. You get close 0:10:02.240 --> 0:10:05.360 really quickly in this environment and you're working day in 0:10:05.360 --> 0:10:08.200 and day out together and so you build that friendship, 0:10:08.200 --> 0:10:10.960 but there's a level to it that's almost like foe 0:10:11.000 --> 0:10:14.560 because it's so quick. It's almost like when someone love 0:10:14.640 --> 0:10:17.000 bombs you and it's like oh wait, and then you 0:10:17.040 --> 0:10:19.079 take a step back and you're like, oh, that wasn't real. 0:10:19.360 --> 0:10:21.480 And I'm not saying that the friendships weren't real, but 0:10:21.520 --> 0:10:23.520 it's like when you take a step back like I have, 0:10:24.120 --> 0:10:26.240 and you look at it, it's like I barely knew 0:10:26.280 --> 0:10:29.040 that person, Like I really went all in on someone 0:10:29.160 --> 0:10:31.960 and there's a lot of the lot there that's like 0:10:32.000 --> 0:10:34.320 problematic that I don't want in my life. And you know, 0:10:34.400 --> 0:10:37.000 I know she feels the same, so I just yeah, 0:10:37.040 --> 0:10:39.400 for me, I think taking a step back was the 0:10:39.400 --> 0:10:41.760 healthiest thing for me because I was able to really 0:10:41.840 --> 0:10:46.400 look at everything for what it was, and I'm like, yeah, 0:10:46.400 --> 0:10:47.800 there's a lot of red flags there that I was 0:10:47.840 --> 0:10:50.120 kind of missing because we were in force into this 0:10:50.240 --> 0:10:54.200 environment together. So I mean, yeah, I mean friendship breakups 0:10:54.200 --> 0:10:56.120 are hard. I can speak to that, but I'm. 0:10:56.040 --> 0:10:56.880 Navigating it well. 0:10:56.920 --> 0:11:00.360 And like, really, anytime I hear any one from the 0:11:00.400 --> 0:11:03.959 cast say anything, I'm just like, it really holds no 0:11:04.040 --> 0:11:07.000 weight to me. I'm like, hmm, you're playing I don't know, 0:11:07.360 --> 0:11:09.800 You're you're playing a part and you're doing it well. 0:11:10.240 --> 0:11:15.960 But yeah, I don't get that. I don't can I 0:11:16.000 --> 0:11:19.920 ask do you consider yourselves genuine friends with the other 0:11:20.080 --> 0:11:22.640 cast members? Or do you consider them like co workers? 0:11:22.800 --> 0:11:24.440 Sometimes you have good days and we got to show 0:11:24.520 --> 0:11:27.120 up together and we got to perform. Seriously, I asked, 0:11:27.160 --> 0:11:29.079 are they genuine friends? 0:11:29.559 --> 0:11:33.319 Uh? Both that I have genuine friendships in the group, 0:11:33.840 --> 0:11:37.280 and then there's some that I have genuinely tried to 0:11:37.480 --> 0:11:41.920 build friendships with that you know, it's like a relationship. 0:11:42.120 --> 0:11:45.080 Back to what I was saying earlier that in a relationship, 0:11:45.200 --> 0:11:48.160 in a working relationship where you're genuinely trying to build 0:11:48.240 --> 0:11:51.319 upon it, there has to be you seeking to understand 0:11:51.320 --> 0:11:54.880 that person. You have to you know, understand the nuances 0:11:54.880 --> 0:11:58.280 in the context, and you have to forgive, like people 0:11:58.280 --> 0:12:01.840 are gonna mess up. And and I feel like I 0:12:01.920 --> 0:12:05.280 extended that in multiple areas to people, and then I 0:12:05.320 --> 0:12:07.520 would like do something or say something and it was 0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:12.440 like boom, you're done, cut off whatever. And for me, 0:12:12.640 --> 0:12:15.920 it's just it wasn't reciprocated in a few of the relationships. 0:12:15.960 --> 0:12:18.480 And then you have the other relationships where you both 0:12:18.480 --> 0:12:21.360 have done each other dirty and you're walking this path 0:12:21.960 --> 0:12:25.320 and it's complicated and you give each other grace and 0:12:25.800 --> 0:12:26.640 those are my people. 0:12:26.960 --> 0:12:30.320 And so those are the people that I am friends. 0:12:30.000 --> 0:12:34.120 With and genuinely have relationships outside of filming. And then 0:12:34.480 --> 0:12:36.560 you know, I think most everyone in the cast would 0:12:36.600 --> 0:12:40.560 say that majority of the friendships are business at this point. 0:12:41.360 --> 0:12:43.000 Yeah, that makes a lot. 0:12:42.600 --> 0:12:44.200 At least they're honest though. 0:12:44.360 --> 0:12:44.600 Yeah. 0:12:44.640 --> 0:12:46.440 I mean in reality TV it's kind of unique too, 0:12:46.440 --> 0:12:48.720 because it's like when there's something like you have a 0:12:48.720 --> 0:12:51.560 grudge against somebody, it's almost like they want to hang 0:12:51.559 --> 0:12:54.040 on to that because they understand, especially the further you 0:12:54.080 --> 0:12:56.320 get into, you know, being on a reality TV show, 0:12:56.600 --> 0:12:58.400 they want to have that kind of like as fodder. 0:12:58.640 --> 0:13:00.880 You know, or to like back their story or to 0:13:00.920 --> 0:13:03.400 make their story more compelling. So they it's like they 0:13:03.679 --> 0:13:07.160 hang on to these grudges where like that's like for me, 0:13:07.240 --> 0:13:08.680 I try to give them a little bit of grace 0:13:09.280 --> 0:13:11.640 because constantly I'm thinking, people cannot be. 0:13:11.679 --> 0:13:13.960 This ridiculous because it makes them relevant. 0:13:13.920 --> 0:13:17.440 Totally makes them relevant. And with her, it's like it 0:13:17.640 --> 0:13:21.720 keeps them away from everybody's so scared to be the villain, 0:13:22.240 --> 0:13:24.440 you know, and so it's like, especially with me, they 0:13:24.480 --> 0:13:27.719 want to hang on to, you know, exaggerated things and 0:13:28.320 --> 0:13:29.120 fictional things. 0:13:29.200 --> 0:13:32.120 Basically, if she's the villain, then they're not there exactly. 0:13:32.240 --> 0:13:35.080 And you know, in life and in reality TV and 0:13:35.200 --> 0:13:37.400 in life in general, people want that. They want a 0:13:37.440 --> 0:13:39.160 bad guy, they want a good guy, and then they 0:13:39.200 --> 0:13:42.080 hold onto those and you can't tell them anything different 0:13:42.320 --> 0:13:44.000 because they need that to be the way it is 0:13:44.040 --> 0:13:46.160 because that makes them feel safe and okay, because they 0:13:46.160 --> 0:13:49.439 can sit there and judge you absolutely. 0:13:50.400 --> 0:13:52.400 Have you been on a reality TV show? Have you been. 0:13:54.040 --> 0:13:54.719 Version of it? 0:13:55.040 --> 0:13:55.599 Version of it? 0:13:56.000 --> 0:14:00.000 It was our reality that was on display for everyone 0:14:00.080 --> 0:14:00.920 else's entertainment. 0:14:01.000 --> 0:14:13.520 Yes, that's everybody is hard. So kudos to you guys. 0:14:16.720 --> 0:14:18.840 So you all have been married for five years now, 0:14:19.360 --> 0:14:23.360 five years, and you've blended your families, which is no 0:14:23.600 --> 0:14:27.080 easy task. How have they handled all of that with 0:14:27.240 --> 0:14:30.000 cameras rolling, Because it's hard enough without cameras rolling. I 0:14:30.080 --> 0:14:32.640 can't imagine doing it in that environment. 0:14:33.080 --> 0:14:33.440 Yeah. 0:14:33.480 --> 0:14:35.600 How the kids handling? Yeah, you know, they haven't really 0:14:35.640 --> 0:14:36.960 been around for much of it. 0:14:37.000 --> 0:14:38.720 We've kind of we kind of decided at the beginning 0:14:38.800 --> 0:14:41.720 that we weren't going to involve the kids, and so 0:14:41.920 --> 0:14:44.880 it's been I think probably more seamless than it would 0:14:44.880 --> 0:14:46.960 have been had we, you know, had we chose to. 0:14:46.960 --> 0:14:49.080 What about the hell your kids are older and they're closer, 0:14:49.120 --> 0:14:52.840 I think to they're in college, correct, in high school? Yeah, yeah, 0:14:52.880 --> 0:14:55.280 I mean they read things, they see things. How does 0:14:55.320 --> 0:14:59.760 that impact them and you all forming your own family. 0:15:00.640 --> 0:15:03.280 They've been I mean they've been it's like to be 0:15:03.680 --> 0:15:05.240 it's been like water off. They're back. 0:15:05.280 --> 0:15:08.880 They're both you know, they grew up athletes and kind 0:15:08.880 --> 0:15:13.760 of you know, thicker skin basically, and my family has 0:15:13.840 --> 0:15:15.960 kind of been, you know, in the entertainment business for 0:15:16.000 --> 0:15:18.600 a long time, and so they they understand kind of 0:15:18.640 --> 0:15:21.920 the nature of the entertainment business and they also you know, 0:15:22.000 --> 0:15:24.120 learn to distinguish between fiction and reality. 0:15:24.160 --> 0:15:25.880 And so they've been fine. 0:15:25.960 --> 0:15:27.320 They're supportive, and so. 0:15:27.200 --> 0:15:30.000 They'll see things and they'll they'll send it to me, yeah, 0:15:30.040 --> 0:15:32.840 and just they'll be like this person or I just 0:15:32.920 --> 0:15:36.400 you know, like they're they're supportive and very very sweet. 0:15:36.400 --> 0:15:39.240 And then my youngest is eight years old, and she 0:15:39.320 --> 0:15:41.280 doesn't know. She just started saying, like we'll go through 0:15:41.280 --> 0:15:43.480 a drive through and she'll rolle on her window and 0:15:43.520 --> 0:15:49.400 be like, my mom's on Hulu. That's pretty Yeah, but 0:15:49.680 --> 0:15:52.160 it's just been work to them for the longest time, like, oh, 0:15:52.160 --> 0:15:54.480 we have work, Like we just call it what it is. 0:15:54.520 --> 0:15:56.400 It's work, you know, and they kind of view it 0:15:56.400 --> 0:15:58.400 as that. And then also there's the perk side of it, 0:15:58.840 --> 0:16:02.280 where you know, we're going to Disneyland VIP and they're 0:16:02.280 --> 0:16:03.920 like wait what, and it's like, well, it's because what 0:16:03.960 --> 0:16:05.480 we do and they're like. 0:16:05.480 --> 0:16:06.680 Okay, yeah, that's cool. 0:16:06.720 --> 0:16:09.240 That's cool work, you know, like that's worth it. Or 0:16:09.280 --> 0:16:12.240 we're taking fun trips or meeting cool people and having 0:16:12.240 --> 0:16:14.840 these cool opportunities. And you know, I'm calling my daughter 0:16:14.920 --> 0:16:17.800 being like, Whitney's here on the billboard. You know, she's 0:16:17.840 --> 0:16:20.040 been here to see me on the billboard, and you 0:16:20.080 --> 0:16:23.600 know those moments where they're like, oh WHOA, Like you're 0:16:23.640 --> 0:16:26.440 doing something really cool, which is fun for them to see, 0:16:26.560 --> 0:16:29.560 you know, and kind of carve a different path than 0:16:29.920 --> 0:16:31.600 I grew up with. I mean, he grew up in 0:16:31.640 --> 0:16:34.680 this world, so for him, I think it's you know, 0:16:34.960 --> 0:16:37.880 kind of normal. Would you say, like it's the norm. 0:16:37.960 --> 0:16:40.200 And for me, I'm like, I grew up so humble 0:16:40.320 --> 0:16:43.760 and just came from basically nothing, and so for me, 0:16:43.840 --> 0:16:47.680 it's fun to show my daughter a different lifestyle and 0:16:47.760 --> 0:16:49.680 give her the experiences. That's why I do it. 0:16:50.400 --> 0:16:53.560 You mentioned you've been in this world your family has, 0:16:53.600 --> 0:16:55.880 and you said you your family knows how to separate 0:16:55.920 --> 0:16:58.320 fact from fiction. Right the bs that's out there, I 0:16:58.400 --> 0:17:00.880 wanted to ask about the fiction. What is the biggest 0:17:00.920 --> 0:17:04.240 piece of fiction out there about Ule's relationship. It sounds 0:17:04.240 --> 0:17:05.760 like you all keep up with what's going on on 0:17:05.800 --> 0:17:08.119 social media and what people are saying, But what is 0:17:08.160 --> 0:17:10.200 the thing out there that people think if you could 0:17:10.280 --> 0:17:13.320 just snap your finger and correct the record, if you will, 0:17:13.640 --> 0:17:16.600 what is the thing that people think about you all 0:17:16.680 --> 0:17:19.720 that you really really wish they could get right? 0:17:21.400 --> 0:17:23.040 I mean I think two pieces. 0:17:25.600 --> 0:17:27.280 Go ahead, you know, you go, I don't want to 0:17:27.280 --> 0:17:28.720 cut you off by I've gone. 0:17:28.560 --> 0:17:31.600 A couple of got back of you. Yeah, yeah, thank you. 0:17:31.560 --> 0:17:32.200 For that question. 0:17:34.720 --> 0:17:36.680 Oh, I have two pieces that are just quick. I'll 0:17:36.680 --> 0:17:37.360 just rattle off. 0:17:37.600 --> 0:17:40.600 One I didn't cheat on Brett and two we did 0:17:40.640 --> 0:17:43.000 not know each other when I was nine years old. 0:17:43.760 --> 0:17:44.800 Wow. Yeah, thank you. 0:17:47.440 --> 0:17:49.560 Oh. Yes, that's one of the first things you see 0:17:49.560 --> 0:17:50.280 when you google. 0:17:50.560 --> 0:17:52.639 It's ridiculous. Yeah. 0:17:52.720 --> 0:17:54.920 Yeah, I met Brett when I was twenty one years 0:17:54.960 --> 0:17:57.400 old at our good family friend's funeral. 0:17:57.640 --> 0:17:59.720 Where did that start? What does stuff like that come from? 0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:02.320 Well, okay, I it's I'm kind of to blame on 0:18:02.359 --> 0:18:07.080 that because it was the satire time of TikTok where 0:18:07.119 --> 0:18:10.760 people are just going after our age gap relationship and 0:18:10.800 --> 0:18:13.960 they're like Grandpa d and so then what do you do? 0:18:14.080 --> 0:18:15.080 You just play into it? 0:18:15.480 --> 0:18:18.880 So then I, you know, I played into it as. 0:18:18.720 --> 0:18:21.199 Though you languaged a couple of things that were a 0:18:21.200 --> 0:18:23.400 little they could have been confessed. 0:18:22.960 --> 0:18:27.040 Exactly, Yes, which I honestly it doesn't bother me. I 0:18:27.040 --> 0:18:29.440 feel like it's bothered you more than me, which rightfully, 0:18:29.560 --> 0:18:30.200 so like. 0:18:30.320 --> 0:18:34.400 What people have spun? What people that makes sense? 0:18:34.760 --> 0:18:39.000 Yes? What was posted didn't, but then the comments that 0:18:39.080 --> 0:18:42.000 came from it, then he was like, Okay, now it's 0:18:42.040 --> 0:18:42.800 getting creepy. 0:18:43.000 --> 0:18:46.400 Age where I met her just keeps getting younger, and. 0:18:45.600 --> 0:18:47.840 He and then he was my babysitter, and then he 0:18:48.000 --> 0:18:50.240 was like best friends with my parents, and so then 0:18:50.240 --> 0:18:53.000 it just the thing just keeps getting spun and spun, 0:18:53.080 --> 0:18:56.600 and so I take full responsibility for starting that whole thing. 0:18:57.040 --> 0:18:58.679 So it's my job to clear it up. 0:18:58.960 --> 0:19:03.399 We met when I was a beyond legal adults, and 0:19:03.520 --> 0:19:07.600 we both were married to different people. Like we it 0:19:07.800 --> 0:19:10.600 was not at all what people are saying on the internet. 0:19:10.680 --> 0:19:15.480 So yeah, there's this, Yeah, there's this sixteen year age gap, right, yes, yeah, I. 0:19:15.440 --> 0:19:18.239 Think where I got a little confusing too, was one 0:19:18.320 --> 0:19:22.439 of my best friends was her best friend's dad, and 0:19:22.480 --> 0:19:25.240 he was it's kind of convoluted, but my sister in 0:19:25.320 --> 0:19:27.959 law is his niece, and so you know, we live 0:19:28.000 --> 0:19:30.679 in We were talking about. 0:19:29.480 --> 0:19:31.240 Trying to get my head around that. 0:19:31.560 --> 0:19:35.040 So so yeah, a good friend of mine that was 0:19:35.080 --> 0:19:37.639 twenty years older than me, he was like my uncle, okay, 0:19:37.760 --> 0:19:40.680 and she was friends with her with his daughter, and it's. 0:19:40.480 --> 0:19:43.359 So wild to think about because like that's so close, right, 0:19:43.440 --> 0:19:47.320 and there's so many connections, but I genuinely didn't. I 0:19:47.400 --> 0:19:50.560 never met Brett until that funeral. 0:19:50.680 --> 0:19:52.960 And I had always been the funeral of her best 0:19:52.960 --> 0:19:53.680 friend's dad, who. 0:19:53.680 --> 0:19:57.080 Yeah yeah, And I had heard of him obviously, like 0:19:57.160 --> 0:20:00.600 he was like this all star provo boy, you know, 0:20:00.720 --> 0:20:02.159 and I had heard of him. I had heard of 0:20:02.200 --> 0:20:05.440 his family obviously, and his sister was married to Larry 0:20:05.520 --> 0:20:06.440 King and you. 0:20:06.400 --> 0:20:07.200 Know, all these things. 0:20:07.200 --> 0:20:09.960 So it was like the Ingemans were known, but we 0:20:10.040 --> 0:20:12.600 never met each other. So that is a huge thing. 0:20:12.640 --> 0:20:15.919 I'm like, I know for like, thank you for asking that. 0:20:16.119 --> 0:20:17.560 Actually I appreciate it. 0:20:17.920 --> 0:20:19.560 Understand why you had that one ready to go. 0:20:20.440 --> 0:20:22.080 Did you have something you wanted to clear up? 0:20:22.119 --> 0:20:24.119 Well, I was just gonna say the fidelity thing is 0:20:24.160 --> 0:20:26.119 just it's so funny because you won't find a couple 0:20:26.119 --> 0:20:28.439 that's more committed to each other and doesn't even have 0:20:28.480 --> 0:20:30.760 a thought of being with anybody else. So it's just 0:20:31.240 --> 0:20:33.960 that's been such a dumb thing to even have to 0:20:34.240 --> 0:20:34.840 talk about. 0:20:35.080 --> 0:20:37.760 Should I even ask where that one came from from? 0:20:37.880 --> 0:20:39.920 Vander pum Villa, Yeah. 0:20:39.800 --> 0:20:41.480 That wasn't you as well. I'm just making sure you 0:20:41.520 --> 0:20:43.359 didn't start though, and like you did the nine year old. 0:20:43.520 --> 0:20:47.080 No, no, I didn't start that one. 0:20:47.600 --> 0:20:48.320 No, that was. 0:20:49.840 --> 0:20:52.879 We won't mention his name, but yes, we get it. 0:20:52.880 --> 0:20:57.040 There's an asterisk there. Yes, I'm curious too because you 0:20:57.240 --> 0:20:59.720 all were in other relationships. You said, when you first 0:20:59.760 --> 0:21:01.879 met and you just were friendly, How did it go 0:21:02.119 --> 0:21:06.400 from that to then you all being in a romantic relationship? 0:21:07.080 --> 0:21:09.080 Well, do you want to talk about the Bachelor? 0:21:09.760 --> 0:21:11.800 Yeah, so it's my favorite story. 0:21:13.560 --> 0:21:15.760 So I know I would run into Demi and her 0:21:15.840 --> 0:21:17.840 husband at the time at the gym from time to time, 0:21:18.480 --> 0:21:23.760 and basically out of nowhere, Long story short, I get 0:21:24.280 --> 0:21:27.000 an email from the Bachelorette and they said that you 0:21:27.080 --> 0:21:29.520 have been nominated anonymously to be on the show. 0:21:29.680 --> 0:21:30.680 But we had just. 0:21:30.840 --> 0:21:32.880 Seen him at the gym and we were like, what's 0:21:32.920 --> 0:21:36.040 going on? Second marriage didn't work out? Like you're such 0:21:36.040 --> 0:21:38.240 a catch. What's happening? Like you need to go on 0:21:38.280 --> 0:21:38.800 the Bachelor. 0:21:39.200 --> 0:21:41.480 I had a second marriage. It didn't work so see 0:21:41.520 --> 0:21:43.280 it was about six months I got it. 0:21:43.480 --> 0:21:56.040 Yeah, sorry not to not to cut you off. My husband, 0:21:56.160 --> 0:21:58.200 my ex husband, and I had told him like, what's 0:21:58.200 --> 0:22:00.440 going on, Like you're such catch, so handsome, you need 0:22:00.440 --> 0:22:03.120 to go on the Bachelor. He was like absolutely not. No, 0:22:03.240 --> 0:22:06.680 So we go home, we not nominate or we nominate him. 0:22:06.720 --> 0:22:09.920 That's a good story anonymous that night, okay, yeah, so. 0:22:09.840 --> 0:22:12.280 Then he gets a call oh wow literally the next day. 0:22:12.520 --> 0:22:15.119 Yeah, they were desperate to cast somebody to think that 0:22:15.240 --> 0:22:16.960 was like age appropriate for Claire. 0:22:17.080 --> 0:22:17.719 Claire Crawley. 0:22:17.880 --> 0:22:19.840 Yes, she was like forty I think, and I was 0:22:19.880 --> 0:22:23.040 forty two at the time, and uh so, yeah, I 0:22:23.080 --> 0:22:25.560 went on the Bachelorette and I was there for about 0:22:25.680 --> 0:22:26.080 a week. 0:22:26.280 --> 0:22:29.200 Then COVID hit. They sent us home and there was 0:22:29.240 --> 0:22:30.360 a break but in the in the. 0:22:32.160 --> 0:22:33.919 Yeah, so but when you when you go, when you 0:22:33.920 --> 0:22:35.520 go to the bachelotte you have to go dark on 0:22:35.560 --> 0:22:38.520 social media. Anyway, I come home, I go back on 0:22:38.560 --> 0:22:42.920 social media. She notices that I am no longer filming 0:22:43.119 --> 0:22:44.480 and then what so. 0:22:44.440 --> 0:22:46.560 Then I he like posted something of his sons and 0:22:46.600 --> 0:22:48.280 I was like, wait, what's going on? I thought you 0:22:48.359 --> 0:22:51.479 were filming, Like what how are you posting? And he 0:22:51.560 --> 0:22:54.680 was like, oh, we actually all got sent home and 0:22:54.840 --> 0:22:57.919 I was like, oh, that's crazy. And then I was like, 0:22:58.560 --> 0:23:01.639 by the way, I'm getting divorced, and he was like, 0:23:02.040 --> 0:23:05.600 I'm so sorry, Like I mean, we told no one. 0:23:05.720 --> 0:23:09.199 I told him before I told my family, and so 0:23:09.200 --> 0:23:11.120 he was like, it's crazy if you need a shoulder 0:23:11.160 --> 0:23:11.720 to cry on. 0:23:14.480 --> 0:23:17.080 I didn't actually say that. 0:23:17.200 --> 0:23:20.919 Probably that is life is weird. Now, I didn't know 0:23:20.960 --> 0:23:23.800 you were on that season, so I didn't. 0:23:23.640 --> 0:23:26.320 Actually go and film. Okay, it was the week leading 0:23:26.400 --> 0:23:29.679 up to it. COVID hits, they send us home, and 0:23:29.720 --> 0:23:32.680 then I think they filmed like four months later, and. 0:23:32.600 --> 0:23:34.480 You were already in a relationship at that point. 0:23:34.680 --> 0:23:37.480 Yes, well you would have gone back had I not 0:23:37.600 --> 0:23:40.320 met her, Maybe probably not. 0:23:40.880 --> 0:23:43.840 But still to think that you could have been on 0:23:43.880 --> 0:23:46.920 your way to another love journey, if you will. Yeah, 0:23:47.480 --> 0:23:48.520 and COVID. 0:23:48.440 --> 0:23:49.000 Got you here. 0:23:49.400 --> 0:23:52.040 That is weird how stuff works out. We noticed this 0:23:52.200 --> 0:23:54.280 life all the time. Who know that any little thing 0:23:54.280 --> 0:23:55.240 would have happened differently. 0:23:55.280 --> 0:23:55.960 COVID saved me. 0:23:56.680 --> 0:23:58.639 That's just a weird thing to say or to think about. 0:23:58.680 --> 0:24:01.320 But that is congratulations. I love that story, by the way. 0:24:01.280 --> 0:24:03.440 That's very very cool. In fact, I would say COVID 0:24:03.440 --> 0:24:05.400 played a role in our relationship as well. So it's 0:24:05.440 --> 0:24:09.080 funny all things that are suddenly you know that seem 0:24:09.200 --> 0:24:12.199 overwhelming and tragic and certainly were changed the course of 0:24:12.200 --> 0:24:14.520 so many people's lives, and it made a lot of 0:24:14.560 --> 0:24:16.600 people realize that they didn't want to be married, or 0:24:17.320 --> 0:24:17.720 a lot. 0:24:19.119 --> 0:24:21.720 We know where statistics are because I think it had 0:24:21.720 --> 0:24:23.480 to have gone. It seems like it went through the room. 0:24:25.080 --> 0:24:26.960 With their Yeah, with their relationship. 0:24:27.080 --> 0:24:30.040 You were forced to face your relationship. There was no 0:24:30.160 --> 0:24:33.320 escaping one hundred No, that's a real thing. 0:24:34.880 --> 0:24:37.520 I mean everyone was in such close quarters. It's like, 0:24:37.560 --> 0:24:37.960 we were. 0:24:37.840 --> 0:24:40.439 Talking about that again last night, but what's the divorce 0:24:40.520 --> 0:24:44.919 right now? Something percent, it's fifty plus percent. But then 0:24:44.920 --> 0:24:46.600 we were thinking about the people that we know that 0:24:46.640 --> 0:24:49.000 are married, that had been married for a long time, 0:24:50.400 --> 0:24:52.960 and a lot of them are not happy. 0:24:53.080 --> 0:24:55.400 We knew where you were going with and so it's like. 0:24:55.560 --> 0:24:58.720 What percentage of married couples are actually happy. 0:24:59.240 --> 0:25:02.600 We've had that exact same conversation because so many people 0:25:02.680 --> 0:25:04.880 and this is the perfect podcast to have this conversation, 0:25:04.960 --> 0:25:07.479 because so many people sit in judgment of other people 0:25:07.640 --> 0:25:10.480 who get divorced and remarried, and they sit in their 0:25:10.480 --> 0:25:13.880 marriages and think, see, we're great because we're still married. 0:25:14.800 --> 0:25:16.560 On the other side of the house, and they don't speak. 0:25:16.760 --> 0:25:19.200 You're right, and yeah, haven't had sex in a year? 0:25:19.280 --> 0:25:22.760 And yes, and actually hate each other. Yeah, but they're 0:25:22.800 --> 0:25:27.080 still married. Yeah. Success a successful I know. 0:25:27.160 --> 0:25:29.920 It just it comes down to the definition of success 0:25:29.920 --> 0:25:30.159 for you. 0:25:30.240 --> 0:25:33.040 I guess, Oh my god, Okay, when do we want 0:25:33.040 --> 0:25:34.520 to get the fruity pebbles thing out of the way. 0:25:34.600 --> 0:25:36.840 I think right now, let's say let's do it. Let's 0:25:36.880 --> 0:25:38.560 go are okay tears. 0:25:39.800 --> 0:25:40.919 I'm let's step out for this. 0:25:41.600 --> 0:25:45.159 So Jesse Jesse makes this this video on social media 0:25:46.040 --> 0:25:49.840 exposing what you what she says is the truth about 0:25:49.840 --> 0:25:52.639 frudy pebbles, and then you all went on social media 0:25:52.960 --> 0:25:57.120 the next day and had your own play on what 0:25:57.200 --> 0:26:00.399 she said without actually saying anything. You just showed something. 0:26:01.160 --> 0:26:01.560 How do you? 0:26:01.800 --> 0:26:02.320 How are you? 0:26:03.000 --> 0:26:04.959 Do you care about it at all? Is it funny 0:26:04.960 --> 0:26:07.880 to you? Like? What was the actual impact of any 0:26:07.920 --> 0:26:08.119 of that? 0:26:08.520 --> 0:26:11.159 Yeah? I mean originally when it got brought up on 0:26:11.280 --> 0:26:13.840 the show, I didn't want to talk about it. I 0:26:13.920 --> 0:26:16.600 just thought, like, this is personal, this is between us. 0:26:16.680 --> 0:26:19.440 I shared this with the women in confidence, and I 0:26:19.440 --> 0:26:21.920 shouldn't have even done that. You know, we've spoken about 0:26:21.920 --> 0:26:24.919 that since and I'm like, that was I mean a 0:26:24.960 --> 0:26:28.119 betrayal to Brett because that was something that happened between us. 0:26:28.119 --> 0:26:29.560 If he went and told his buddies. I'd be like, 0:26:29.600 --> 0:26:31.880 what are you doing? You know, And so I regretted 0:26:31.920 --> 0:26:34.560 that later that I brought that up to even the women. 0:26:35.400 --> 0:26:38.440 And so yeah, obviously it was something that we never 0:26:38.480 --> 0:26:40.720 planned to have come out. Is it the end of 0:26:40.760 --> 0:26:41.240 the world? 0:26:41.520 --> 0:26:41.600 No? 0:26:42.240 --> 0:26:45.000 But then, like you said, our steps, like my step 0:26:45.040 --> 0:26:49.280 son's his kids who are adults, are on social media, 0:26:49.320 --> 0:26:54.520 they're seeing this. And then our youngest son is in 0:26:54.600 --> 0:26:56.960 high school and it's like, we know how brutal high 0:26:56.960 --> 0:26:59.760 school people can be, and like how many months have 0:26:59.760 --> 0:27:01.960 pass and we're at a baseball game the other day 0:27:02.000 --> 0:27:02.800 and they're like, let's. 0:27:02.600 --> 0:27:04.760 Go, fruity pebbles. Boy, come on, let's go, you know. 0:27:05.320 --> 0:27:09.160 And I mean, again, is it the end of the world? No, 0:27:09.320 --> 0:27:12.800 But like it also did affect our youngest son to 0:27:12.840 --> 0:27:15.800 some degree, and that bothers me, and that bothers him, 0:27:16.000 --> 0:27:18.160 and I know it like really upset him. 0:27:18.560 --> 0:27:21.280 I mean, people do a lot of dumb things when 0:27:21.280 --> 0:27:24.119 they're not dumb things, because I mean people experiment all 0:27:24.160 --> 0:27:26.760 the time in the bedroom and when we we were 0:27:26.800 --> 0:27:29.520 three sheets to the wind, you know, and if if 0:27:29.600 --> 0:27:32.919 and it happened one time, you know, and and if 0:27:33.480 --> 0:27:35.640 you know, if everybody had to talk about something they've 0:27:35.640 --> 0:27:37.359 done when they're three sheets to the wind or whatever, 0:27:37.520 --> 0:27:38.080 I mean, what. 0:27:38.040 --> 0:27:38.760 Are we talking about? 0:27:38.920 --> 0:27:41.640 So but leave it to Jesse of course to bring 0:27:41.720 --> 0:27:46.000 something like that up. So it's just I mean, yeah, anyway, 0:27:46.040 --> 0:27:47.000 that's all I'll say about that. 0:27:47.320 --> 0:27:49.800 Why did you all decide? It seems because I we 0:27:50.040 --> 0:27:52.879 discussed this, as said, hey babe, I don't because of 0:27:52.880 --> 0:27:56.679 what we've actually experienced. We didn't find it funny. People 0:27:56.800 --> 0:27:58.879 make jokes, but this is whatever it is to you 0:27:58.960 --> 0:28:03.760 all knock yourselves out. Fine, but why did you all 0:28:03.840 --> 0:28:06.000 respond to her in the way you did? You kind 0:28:06.000 --> 0:28:07.679 of tongue in cheek with that video, and then I 0:28:07.680 --> 0:28:09.560 saw that, I said, oh, I guess they're cool talking 0:28:09.560 --> 0:28:09.919 about it. 0:28:10.119 --> 0:28:12.919 Yeah. Yeah, it was more so that I It was 0:28:12.960 --> 0:28:15.040 one of those things where it's like, well, it's out there, 0:28:15.119 --> 0:28:19.120 so what are you going to do about it? I 0:28:19.119 --> 0:28:22.800 I think what we were upset about was the timing 0:28:22.840 --> 0:28:28.920 of everything and why she responded. You know, she obviously 0:28:29.000 --> 0:28:32.920 was upset at you know, comments that were made or 0:28:33.800 --> 0:28:37.679 you know, it's just the it's the extent that she 0:28:37.840 --> 0:28:41.440 went to to try to uncover something, to either cover 0:28:41.560 --> 0:28:44.360 up her own stuff or to show that she was 0:28:44.440 --> 0:28:46.200 upset at me. And I think that's what it was. 0:28:46.240 --> 0:28:48.440 That we were just like, okay, you took it too far, 0:28:48.880 --> 0:28:50.440 and so then we're like, what are we going to do? 0:28:50.680 --> 0:28:54.240 Fuel the fire with her or just bring. 0:28:54.000 --> 0:28:56.440 The levity and own it and like make it light 0:28:56.560 --> 0:28:57.840 as lighthearted as possible. 0:28:58.120 --> 0:29:01.240 No, sounds like there was a real relationship issue in 0:29:01.280 --> 0:29:05.360 there that a lot of couples deal with. You betrayed 0:29:05.360 --> 0:29:07.680 a trust, right, how far do you go? What do 0:29:07.720 --> 0:29:09.920 you all think about the idea? How much is it 0:29:10.000 --> 0:29:13.160 okay to tell your girlfriends about what happens at the 0:29:13.160 --> 0:29:14.959 house with him? And how much do you are we 0:29:15.040 --> 0:29:18.600 allowed to as in a couple? How much should you say? 0:29:18.640 --> 0:29:20.240 It sounds how long did it take you all to 0:29:20.240 --> 0:29:21.920 work through that? Because that is I mean, I think 0:29:21.960 --> 0:29:23.840 she knew pretty immediately. 0:29:23.880 --> 0:29:25.360 In fact, you called me right after you had the 0:29:25.520 --> 0:29:27.720 conversation with the girls about it and you were like, Babe, 0:29:27.760 --> 0:29:32.560 I'm so sorry, and you know and so and I 0:29:32.560 --> 0:29:34.680 mean I think we had a we had a brief 0:29:34.800 --> 0:29:38.360 argument about it, really, but it wasn't it wasn't I 0:29:38.440 --> 0:29:43.240 knew that she meant well. I sometimes she overshares when 0:29:43.800 --> 0:29:44.880 and it was early on in. 0:29:46.920 --> 0:29:48.040 Yeah, and so it was just. 0:29:48.360 --> 0:29:50.080 Sex, which is funny. I feel like we talk about 0:29:50.080 --> 0:29:53.120 it more than men because they're like, we're good, we're chilling, 0:29:53.280 --> 0:29:55.280 like I had sex with my wife this week, We're good, 0:29:55.440 --> 0:29:56.440 whereas women are. 0:29:56.280 --> 0:29:57.600 Like, well, like is this normal? 0:29:57.680 --> 0:30:00.440 And do you do this with your husband? And like 0:30:00.480 --> 0:30:03.080 we're more insecure about it, I feel, and so we 0:30:03.160 --> 0:30:05.680 have more open conversations. That's how we learn like men, 0:30:05.800 --> 0:30:08.480 I always say men learn through born and having sex, 0:30:08.760 --> 0:30:11.880 and women learn through having conversations about sex with their girlfriends. 0:30:12.120 --> 0:30:15.360 Like it's just a different world, you know, but sorry, 0:30:15.440 --> 0:30:18.000 keep going. I think we did have a quick argument 0:30:18.040 --> 0:30:21.280 about it, and I recognized that was like I'm so sorry, 0:30:21.320 --> 0:30:22.760 you know, like I know you're not going to your 0:30:22.760 --> 0:30:25.200 bodies telling them like, oh, I guess what my wife did? 0:30:25.320 --> 0:30:25.520 You know? 0:30:26.160 --> 0:30:28.760 And so I was like I understand that, you know, 0:30:28.840 --> 0:30:31.600 if that comes out, that's embarrassing for you. 0:30:31.680 --> 0:30:35.200 And you know, I think I also kind of figured that, 0:30:35.560 --> 0:30:37.880 you know, when she's sharing it, it would be one 0:30:37.880 --> 0:30:40.640 thing if she was sharing something like that with a 0:30:40.680 --> 0:30:45.080 group of girls that were like not on a reality 0:30:45.080 --> 0:30:45.880 TV show. 0:30:46.120 --> 0:30:48.680 You know, But we weren't at the time, Yeah, Oh 0:30:48.720 --> 0:30:49.400 you weren't. 0:30:49.720 --> 0:30:52.200 Okay, they were just we were mom talk at the time. 0:30:52.280 --> 0:30:53.320 Yeah, it was right before. 0:30:53.560 --> 0:30:56.880 Yeah, but it wasn't like a long standing girlfriend, right, 0:30:57.160 --> 0:31:00.239 And so I think that it was more so like 0:31:00.640 --> 0:31:03.600 who it was and the fact that that was something 0:31:03.640 --> 0:31:06.719 that we experimented with once and it was you know, 0:31:06.800 --> 0:31:08.160 it was a little flippant on my end. 0:31:08.200 --> 0:31:11.480 So we had that conversation and then obviously. 0:31:11.040 --> 0:31:14.880 Like moving forward, I've like vowed to be better about that. 0:31:14.920 --> 0:31:17.840 But I to go back to your question, I think 0:31:17.880 --> 0:31:21.000 it really is just a personal thing like between you two, 0:31:21.160 --> 0:31:23.760 like what your boundary is with that, and sometimes you 0:31:23.800 --> 0:31:26.760 don't know that you have that boundary until it's crossed 0:31:26.800 --> 0:31:28.600 and then you're like, wait, hold on, I don't like 0:31:28.640 --> 0:31:30.920 that we're talking about that. 0:31:31.160 --> 0:31:33.120 Things that we do in the bedroom that's like sacred 0:31:33.160 --> 0:31:33.400 to me. 0:31:33.760 --> 0:31:35.520 And that was one of those moments where I was like, 0:31:35.560 --> 0:31:38.360 I've always been kind of flippant with that, and I've 0:31:38.400 --> 0:31:40.920 always been super open and just like oh yeah we 0:31:41.000 --> 0:31:42.800 try this. Whoa, you know, I'm just a little bit 0:31:42.800 --> 0:31:45.560 more open, like he said, And I realized in that 0:31:45.680 --> 0:31:49.280 moment that he's more private about that, and so that 0:31:49.480 --> 0:31:51.760 was a moment where I was like, Okay, that's our boundary, 0:31:51.880 --> 0:31:52.080 you know. 0:31:52.720 --> 0:31:55.320 So yeah, And there's nothing more painful, I don't think 0:31:55.360 --> 0:31:58.280 than you sharing something with someone where you feel like 0:31:58.280 --> 0:32:01.200 you're being vulnerable and then it's used again. That's a 0:32:01.680 --> 0:32:05.440 terrible feeling, especially among friends. 0:32:05.600 --> 0:32:05.959 Girls. 0:32:06.480 --> 0:32:09.160 That's what girls do, and they know how to cut deep, 0:32:09.240 --> 0:32:12.360 they know how to get you. They know how vulnerable 0:32:12.560 --> 0:32:15.920 that is and how that feels. And it's a choice. 0:32:16.320 --> 0:32:19.280 It's a choice to share it. I'm curious, would you 0:32:19.320 --> 0:32:22.160 all say you learned more lessons about where you are 0:32:22.160 --> 0:32:24.160 in your relationship because you seem like you guys are 0:32:24.240 --> 0:32:29.640 awesome from your previous relationships and lessons learned in those 0:32:29.960 --> 0:32:33.280 or lessons learned doing this all in front of the 0:32:33.320 --> 0:32:36.720 cameras with reality show and folks watching and weighing it. 0:32:37.080 --> 0:32:41.280 I think both. But the environment that we've been in, 0:32:41.320 --> 0:32:45.760 the pressure cooker, you know, environment that it is, I 0:32:45.760 --> 0:32:50.240 would say that that has definitely challenged us the most 0:32:50.280 --> 0:32:52.920 and actually like living the life because it's one thing 0:32:52.960 --> 0:32:55.840 to learn lessons and then it's another thing to apply it. 0:32:56.440 --> 0:32:59.640 And the application of it has been huge because we're 0:32:59.680 --> 0:33:03.440 getting these things thrown at us like fiery darts constantly, 0:33:03.960 --> 0:33:05.480 and then it's like, how we're going to manage this, 0:33:05.520 --> 0:33:07.240 how we're going to handle this, How are we going 0:33:07.280 --> 0:33:08.400 to weather this together? 0:33:09.000 --> 0:33:11.160 So I would say living it together for sure. 0:33:11.240 --> 0:33:14.280 And then you know, always life experience, always, you know, 0:33:14.320 --> 0:33:17.600 has the opportunity to teach you things and show you 0:33:17.680 --> 0:33:20.520 the things that need to be healed. And we both 0:33:20.600 --> 0:33:23.800 individually do therapy and we both do therapy together. And 0:33:23.840 --> 0:33:25.920 I think that's huge because there's things that will come 0:33:26.000 --> 0:33:28.480 up in a relationship and we're like, hold on, well, 0:33:28.560 --> 0:33:31.480 that's not coming from here. This is a deeper wound. 0:33:31.640 --> 0:33:33.400 This is a mother wound, this is a father wound, 0:33:33.400 --> 0:33:36.360 this is a past relationship wound. And so we're able 0:33:36.400 --> 0:33:38.120 to like kind of separate that and then be there 0:33:38.160 --> 0:33:42.720 for each other. So I would say a combination of everything, 0:33:43.200 --> 0:33:47.280 But yeah, I think living it together and having to 0:33:47.320 --> 0:33:48.920 face that together for sure. 0:33:50.200 --> 0:33:53.240 Yeah, she mentioned you know, doing like self work. I 0:33:53.240 --> 0:33:57.080 think for me, the biggest thing again going back to 0:33:57.200 --> 0:34:01.920 just separating reality from fiction and all the darts that 0:34:01.960 --> 0:34:04.360 are thrown at you. One of the challenges that I 0:34:04.440 --> 0:34:07.480 used to have was allowing for like an intrusive thought 0:34:07.560 --> 0:34:10.360 to percolate and you give meaning to the thought, and 0:34:10.400 --> 0:34:12.399 then all of a sudden, if you give it enough 0:34:12.440 --> 0:34:14.520 time and meaning, all of a sudden that thought is true. 0:34:14.760 --> 0:34:17.480 So for on the on the you know, personal self 0:34:17.480 --> 0:34:19.880 work side, I've done a lot of ketamine sort of 0:34:19.920 --> 0:34:22.680 doing some emdr that allows you to just kind of 0:34:23.080 --> 0:34:25.640 pull yourself back and look at the situation for what 0:34:25.680 --> 0:34:28.200 it actually is. And that's been I think probably the 0:34:28.280 --> 0:34:31.879 biggest key for me in our relationship is just doing 0:34:31.880 --> 0:34:41.240 my own personal work in that way. 0:34:44.600 --> 0:34:46.319 How much work needed to be done? We say this 0:34:46.360 --> 0:34:49.760 oftentimes that you got to you're sometimes we're not ready 0:34:49.800 --> 0:34:52.040 to be a good partner to somebody because we're messed up. 0:34:52.560 --> 0:34:55.880 How prepared were you all when you got together? Was 0:34:55.880 --> 0:34:57.480 there a lot of more work that still need to 0:34:57.480 --> 0:34:57.759 be done? 0:34:57.760 --> 0:34:58.799 I barely had any work. 0:35:00.080 --> 0:35:06.680 Just kidat you think you think you know the older 0:35:06.680 --> 0:35:09.120 person in the in the you know a couple would 0:35:09.239 --> 0:35:10.440 have the least amount of work to do. 0:35:10.560 --> 0:35:12.279 I for sure had the most amount of work to do. 0:35:12.800 --> 0:35:15.480 I just don't think you have the tools. Like I 0:35:15.520 --> 0:35:19.360 grew up with a mom that was very like she 0:35:19.520 --> 0:35:22.759 leaned more holistic and like she would read us the 0:35:22.800 --> 0:35:26.280 book Feelings Buried Alive and like I learned very quickly 0:35:26.400 --> 0:35:29.640 that like your body will show you kind of what's 0:35:29.640 --> 0:35:33.239 happening deep down, and so I had a lot of 0:35:33.239 --> 0:35:37.040 those tools you know already. And then I'm just like 0:35:37.400 --> 0:35:39.719 super passionate about mental health. I've struggled with it my 0:35:39.760 --> 0:35:41.960 whole life and you know, come from a long line 0:35:41.960 --> 0:35:45.880 of mental health. And so for me, it's almost a 0:35:45.880 --> 0:35:48.279 passion because I want to understand myself. I want to 0:35:48.360 --> 0:35:51.120 understand you know, my family. I want to be able 0:35:51.120 --> 0:35:53.080 to help I want to be able to do better 0:35:53.160 --> 0:35:56.640 for my kids. And so it became a quick passion 0:35:56.680 --> 0:36:01.319 for me of like a modality like Okay, now this 0:36:01.360 --> 0:36:03.160 is calling to me in this and I do energy 0:36:03.160 --> 0:36:05.120 work and then I would do you know, all these 0:36:05.120 --> 0:36:07.239 different things, and then that led me to Kenemine and 0:36:07.280 --> 0:36:09.600 then you know, all the different. 0:36:09.320 --> 0:36:10.480 Modalities that are out there. 0:36:10.520 --> 0:36:12.400 I was just you know, one by one, I was 0:36:12.480 --> 0:36:16.560 just like going through this journey. And so for me 0:36:16.719 --> 0:36:19.520 it became like this passion project, if you will, where 0:36:19.520 --> 0:36:22.560 it was just like how can I become better? How 0:36:22.560 --> 0:36:25.440 can I understand myself better? How can I love myself truly? 0:36:26.000 --> 0:36:31.400 How can I you know, you know, how can I change? 0:36:31.560 --> 0:36:34.160 You know? You know, break the patterns and break the 0:36:34.239 --> 0:36:38.240 generational trauma that I've seen in my family. And for Brett, 0:36:38.280 --> 0:36:42.560 I think it was more so the normal average person 0:36:42.680 --> 0:36:45.399 that's like, yeah, that's bothered me, but I've never really 0:36:45.480 --> 0:36:48.160 thought about it. And so I think we really have 0:36:48.239 --> 0:36:52.400 been such a good mirror for each other because I, 0:36:52.400 --> 0:36:56.440 you know, I bring the passion with that and he's like, yeah, 0:36:56.440 --> 0:36:59.400 I don't know, it's bothered me and it's obviously showing 0:36:59.480 --> 0:37:01.200 up in ways that bother me. 0:37:01.880 --> 0:37:03.320 And I'm like, this isn't. 0:37:03.080 --> 0:37:05.440 Working and he's like, well, yeah, it's bothered me, but 0:37:05.480 --> 0:37:07.279 I don't really know what's going on. And I'm like, well, 0:37:07.400 --> 0:37:08.320 let's dive deeper. 0:37:09.239 --> 0:37:09.680 Yeah. 0:37:09.719 --> 0:37:12.680 So I feel like we've really and he same for him, 0:37:12.800 --> 0:37:14.759 like he'll bring things out of me that trigger me 0:37:15.080 --> 0:37:16.839 and then I realize, I'm like, it's not you, it's 0:37:16.920 --> 0:37:19.800 like a wound that I have. So we really compliment 0:37:19.840 --> 0:37:21.760 each other really well in that sense. 0:37:22.480 --> 0:37:25.520 No, I was laughing because we go through that yeah, yeah, 0:37:25.719 --> 0:37:29.000 to where I, yes, this normally bothers me. When I 0:37:29.040 --> 0:37:31.719 saw it starting to impact her, like that's not fair 0:37:31.760 --> 0:37:33.600 to you that I'm going through this, And that's when 0:37:33.640 --> 0:37:36.240 I started doing the work. As you say, it's funny 0:37:36.239 --> 0:37:38.040 to sit here with other couples have been through some shit. 0:37:38.280 --> 0:37:42.759 Yeah yeah, Kenny me like, I've heard so much about it, 0:37:42.800 --> 0:37:45.880 but I've never even gone in that direction. But you 0:37:45.920 --> 0:37:48.520 all seem to be huge proponents of it. 0:37:48.800 --> 0:37:51.160 I am, and I want to be careful because when 0:37:51.200 --> 0:37:54.360 I was doing it, I was shouting for the rooftops. 0:37:54.400 --> 0:37:57.279 I'm like, everyone needs Kennymede and they're like, no, not 0:37:57.360 --> 0:37:58.319 everyone needs Ken of me. 0:37:58.480 --> 0:37:59.840 It's not a good fit for everyone. 0:38:00.520 --> 0:38:03.200 And also like you need to be careful obviously for 0:38:03.280 --> 0:38:06.640 obvious reasons. So I'm very careful to say, like, if 0:38:06.640 --> 0:38:11.600 it's calling to you, explore it. It saved my life, literally, 0:38:11.719 --> 0:38:16.840 I was I had extreme suicidal ideation and depression anxiety 0:38:16.880 --> 0:38:20.440 ocd ADHD literally you name it. Like I was battling 0:38:20.440 --> 0:38:24.759 that and I had planned to kill myself and I 0:38:25.000 --> 0:38:28.360 was done, ready to go, starting to write the notes 0:38:29.040 --> 0:38:33.960 and my ex husband, I'm going to get emotional. But 0:38:35.680 --> 0:38:39.279 my ex husband called you out of the blue and 0:38:39.400 --> 0:38:41.880 was just like check on to me, like is she okay? 0:38:42.840 --> 0:38:46.880 And like behind my back, they both came together and 0:38:46.920 --> 0:38:49.959 he was like, she needs Ketam And I didn't even. 0:38:49.920 --> 0:38:52.399 Know what it was like, I his father in law. 0:38:52.480 --> 0:38:54.000 His father in law administers it. 0:38:54.040 --> 0:38:58.239 He's an integrated medicine doctor and so he had the 0:38:58.320 --> 0:39:01.440 license to do it, and she was He just randomly 0:39:01.560 --> 0:39:03.920 was like she needs kenemine and he was like, I 0:39:03.920 --> 0:39:06.640 don't know what that is, but let's suggest it. And 0:39:06.920 --> 0:39:09.960 the next day I was in there and it literally 0:39:10.000 --> 0:39:12.600 saved my life and like changed my mind on like 0:39:12.680 --> 0:39:17.319 wanting to end my life and here today because of that. 0:39:17.440 --> 0:39:19.839 And I have such a tender spot in my heart 0:39:19.920 --> 0:39:22.840 for him. Every time I talk about my ex husband, 0:39:22.960 --> 0:39:26.040 I just get emotional because like what man, you know, 0:39:26.120 --> 0:39:28.320 like I'm the one that left the marriage. I crossed 0:39:28.360 --> 0:39:31.759 his world and like the care that he still has 0:39:31.800 --> 0:39:34.000 for me and for Brett like so greatly. 0:39:34.000 --> 0:39:36.800 He's an incredible Yeah. Man, he's one of my best friends. 0:39:36.920 --> 0:39:39.279 Yeah, no, they really are like best friends. So it's 0:39:39.320 --> 0:39:44.000 such a beautiful thing. But anyway, Ketemine, talking about Kedemy, 0:39:44.080 --> 0:39:44.560 let's go back to. 0:39:51.400 --> 0:39:52.120 Subject for you. 0:39:52.320 --> 0:39:56.480 I know, he starts crying. 0:39:58.280 --> 0:40:00.920 How are you today? I know you stepped away from 0:40:01.000 --> 0:40:03.919 the show. Yeah, because of the number it was doing 0:40:03.920 --> 0:40:07.960 on you mentally, Guys, how are you today? 0:40:08.320 --> 0:40:13.800 I'm great? No, I really am so good. It was 0:40:13.840 --> 0:40:14.560 such a compliment. 0:40:14.600 --> 0:40:17.560 I was talking to Taylor a couple of nights ago 0:40:17.920 --> 0:40:20.319 and we were just talking about everything, and she was 0:40:20.360 --> 0:40:22.279 like to me, I just have to stop and tell you, like, 0:40:22.360 --> 0:40:25.760 I am so proud of you, Like you have gone 0:40:25.800 --> 0:40:29.239 through it, and you just sound so grounded and just 0:40:29.280 --> 0:40:32.920 like you have your head on straight, you sound so hopeful, 0:40:33.080 --> 0:40:35.000 and I'm just so proud of the way that you've 0:40:35.000 --> 0:40:37.040 weathered it. And he says that to me all the time, 0:40:37.080 --> 0:40:39.440 but you know, we're together all the time, We're in 0:40:39.520 --> 0:40:43.040 it together. It was refreshing to hear someone just hearing 0:40:43.080 --> 0:40:46.560 me talk about opportunities coming up and you know the 0:40:47.040 --> 0:40:50.880 way I'm handling the negativity and the scrutiny and have 0:40:51.040 --> 0:40:54.680 them just recognize, you know, my efforts. And that was 0:40:54.719 --> 0:40:58.799 really kind of her to say and also validated that, like, hey, 0:40:58.880 --> 0:41:01.759 you're you are good, You're okay, you put in the 0:41:01.800 --> 0:41:04.319 freaking work, Like pat yourself on the back. You're doing 0:41:04.360 --> 0:41:07.480 better than you think. So I really appreciated hearing that 0:41:07.600 --> 0:41:08.319 for sure, and. 0:41:08.640 --> 0:41:09.719 I think I'm doing well. 0:41:09.760 --> 0:41:12.560 And you know, it's not linear. Every day has a 0:41:12.600 --> 0:41:17.799 different struggle and challenge, and you know, brings new emotions, 0:41:18.040 --> 0:41:20.640 and some days like it gets me down and I'll 0:41:20.680 --> 0:41:23.239 see an interview and I'm like, damn, like I was 0:41:23.239 --> 0:41:25.600 there for that person, Like how can they sit there 0:41:25.600 --> 0:41:28.560 and talk about me that way? And damn, how can they? 0:41:28.640 --> 0:41:32.239 How can I be so misunderstood? And that hurts, you know, 0:41:32.600 --> 0:41:36.000 and I'm human and you know things do affect me. 0:41:36.560 --> 0:41:40.239 But overall, I really do feel like I am handling 0:41:40.280 --> 0:41:42.560 it as best as I can. 0:41:42.719 --> 0:41:45.080 You know, absolutely, amen. 0:41:45.440 --> 0:41:48.840 Now, it's so impressive just to know that background, to 0:41:48.920 --> 0:41:50.520 know what you've been through, and then to know that 0:41:50.560 --> 0:41:53.279 you were on this show, that show being on a 0:41:53.320 --> 0:41:57.160 real would crush almost anybody. Just I don't know how 0:41:57.280 --> 0:42:01.080 mentally anyone handles that. Because we had just a glimpse 0:42:01.160 --> 0:42:04.080 of that type of scrutiny and pressure and it was 0:42:04.280 --> 0:42:09.160 it almost buried us a lot, like truthfully, I'm so sorry, truthfully, no, 0:42:09.280 --> 0:42:11.600 but we and I just we have a little bit 0:42:11.640 --> 0:42:14.840 of an idea of what you've been through and certainly 0:42:15.640 --> 0:42:19.120 just so impressed with the two people who are here 0:42:19.160 --> 0:42:21.240 in this room with us now because to think about 0:42:21.280 --> 0:42:24.160 how vilified you all have been, it's pretty awesome to 0:42:24.160 --> 0:42:26.080 meet you face to face and actually see who you 0:42:26.120 --> 0:42:26.520 really are. 0:42:26.880 --> 0:42:27.480 Thankk you. 0:42:27.600 --> 0:42:28.480 I appreciate it. 0:42:28.840 --> 0:42:30.600 It's nice for some of that heat to go towards 0:42:30.680 --> 0:42:31.440 you all and not us. 0:42:33.320 --> 0:42:33.600 Okay. 0:42:34.360 --> 0:42:36.000 No, Taylor said that to me the other day. 0:42:36.040 --> 0:42:38.319 She was like, I've got some things coming for me, 0:42:38.440 --> 0:42:40.440 so hopefully it'll take the heat off of you. I'm like, 0:42:40.760 --> 0:42:43.200 I don't want that either, but maybe it will be 0:42:43.280 --> 0:42:44.799 kind of nice for a change to not have it 0:42:44.840 --> 0:42:46.360 be on us. I don't want it on you, but 0:42:46.920 --> 0:42:48.520 anyone else from the group want it. 0:42:48.440 --> 0:42:51.879 Takes Okay, all the last things about the actual show, 0:42:52.000 --> 0:42:54.000 new season? Have you all gone just dropped? 0:42:54.040 --> 0:42:54.160 Right? 0:42:54.239 --> 0:42:54.439 Yeah? 0:42:54.480 --> 0:42:56.440 Season four? Have you all gone through? Seen it all yet? 0:42:56.480 --> 0:42:56.560 Now? 0:42:56.640 --> 0:42:58.759 Will you be watching? No? None of it? 0:42:59.160 --> 0:43:00.000 No, not a second? 0:43:00.239 --> 0:43:03.759 Okay, right, see, But that's growth because usually I do 0:43:03.840 --> 0:43:06.920 watch it and then I'm just like turmoil, sick, can't sleep, 0:43:07.000 --> 0:43:08.480 and I'm like, that's not what happened. 0:43:08.560 --> 0:43:11.080 Aren't you sprinkled throughout the season? Aren't you? Don't you 0:43:11.120 --> 0:43:12.840 show up the time or two here or there? I 0:43:12.880 --> 0:43:14.600 don't know, Okay, I had to be honest, she had 0:43:14.640 --> 0:43:16.960 the first We knew you were coming in at the 0:43:17.120 --> 0:43:20.279 first episode on and I keep hearing your name and 0:43:20.480 --> 0:43:22.920 I run into the room. I said, where is she? No, 0:43:23.000 --> 0:43:24.240 they're just talking about. 0:43:26.040 --> 0:43:26.880 They're talking about her. 0:43:27.360 --> 0:43:29.959 I have heard that a lot that like I'm not there, 0:43:30.000 --> 0:43:31.640 but you're the topic of conversation. 0:43:31.719 --> 0:43:32.239 You're there. 0:43:32.520 --> 0:43:34.640 I wish you saved for that, like every time you 0:43:34.680 --> 0:43:36.160 mentioned my name, send me a check. 0:43:36.280 --> 0:43:37.759 So you will be. 0:43:37.760 --> 0:43:40.320 Back on the show at some point I another season, 0:43:40.360 --> 0:43:43.000 officially in some capacity. Do we know that yet? 0:43:43.120 --> 0:43:44.040 I haven't decided. 0:43:45.080 --> 0:43:47.120 I've stepped away as of now, but we'll see. 0:43:47.480 --> 0:43:50.120 I don't know. I have other things that are in 0:43:50.200 --> 0:43:53.120 the works that I'm really excited about. And if I 0:43:53.200 --> 0:43:57.040 feel that excitement towards the show ever again, I'll reconsider. 0:43:57.160 --> 0:43:58.440 But not right now. You don't feel that. 0:43:58.560 --> 0:44:00.360 I don't What would you wanted to do it the 0:44:00.400 --> 0:44:02.239 show again? If she wanted to, of course, but if 0:44:02.320 --> 0:44:06.560 you wanted independently you as just in your own moments 0:44:06.880 --> 0:44:07.279 as it. 0:44:07.400 --> 0:44:12.279 Sits right now in the environment. No, No, a couple 0:44:12.320 --> 0:44:15.080 of variables change then maybe, But if she wants to, 0:44:15.080 --> 0:44:15.920 I'd still support her. 0:44:15.920 --> 0:44:19.600 But yeah, I have heard that the that the dads 0:44:19.960 --> 0:44:22.680 on the show are getting raked over the colls, like 0:44:22.880 --> 0:44:26.040 the men are getting obliterated, which I'm not surprised that 0:44:26.080 --> 0:44:30.080 a lot of them deserve it. But like I, I 0:44:31.080 --> 0:44:33.040 just don't think it's an environment for the men like that. 0:44:33.160 --> 0:44:35.759 I don't think they're wanting the men to look good. 0:44:36.040 --> 0:44:36.239 You know. 0:44:36.360 --> 0:44:38.200 Yeah, it's like landmine for men. 0:44:38.320 --> 0:44:40.319 Yeah, yeah, we'll talk about that. 0:44:40.320 --> 0:44:41.880 Off. 0:44:42.040 --> 0:44:44.800 We noticed the men as well. We have conversations, Yes. 0:44:44.960 --> 0:44:47.279 We certainly did. And I just wanted to end with 0:44:47.280 --> 0:44:48.959 this because I know you all and you were open 0:44:49.000 --> 0:44:51.200 about it, and we're rooting for you. But I know 0:44:51.239 --> 0:44:54.200 you all are really wanting to have children for yourselves. 0:44:54.200 --> 0:44:56.319 You want to have you want to expand your rude. 0:44:56.360 --> 0:44:58.239 I know you just got a puppy. I saw, Yes, 0:44:59.120 --> 0:45:02.080 he looks like our little guy wrote. He's multipoo. I 0:45:02.080 --> 0:45:03.239 don't know what can you guys have. 0:45:03.680 --> 0:45:04.480 She's a cockapoo. 0:45:04.520 --> 0:45:07.239 A cockapoo. You're very close. Yes, it's like a It 0:45:07.320 --> 0:45:10.200 could be like a cousin. Well, they probably are. 0:45:10.160 --> 0:45:11.360 Because the poodle aspect. 0:45:11.400 --> 0:45:12.520 Yeah, related in someone. 0:45:12.760 --> 0:45:15.279 Yeah, No, that's so good. How is that going? And 0:45:15.560 --> 0:45:18.160 what are your what any any I know so many 0:45:18.160 --> 0:45:22.120 people struggle with his, so many women. I appreciate knowing 0:45:22.200 --> 0:45:24.520 that they're not alone and hearing how you all are doing. 0:45:24.560 --> 0:45:26.920 How how are you. Where are you on that journey? 0:45:27.000 --> 0:45:31.880 Yeah? So no luck so far, unfortunately. But we're still 0:45:32.440 --> 0:45:35.000 going down the path of trying to figure out what 0:45:35.120 --> 0:45:38.040 we've gotten more answers, Like we're further than or the 0:45:38.080 --> 0:45:41.319 furthest we've ever been on figuring out what it is. 0:45:41.960 --> 0:45:46.120 Now it's finding how to achieve fixing that issue because 0:45:46.120 --> 0:45:48.600 we've gone down the path of medication and with my 0:45:48.680 --> 0:45:52.080 mental health, like medication, like I get one or two 0:45:52.320 --> 0:45:55.319 bad nights of sleep and I am just like my 0:45:55.480 --> 0:45:58.160 mental health and chemically I just get so thrown off. 0:45:58.239 --> 0:46:01.120 I'm just so sensitive. And a lot of that is 0:46:01.239 --> 0:46:04.600 due to I mean that's women in general for the 0:46:04.640 --> 0:46:05.440 most part, but is. 0:46:07.200 --> 0:46:07.680 Or men. 0:46:10.239 --> 0:46:14.440 Into everything the loud sounds okay to everything. Yeah, hey 0:46:14.480 --> 0:46:17.040 we o CD all of that. 0:46:17.280 --> 0:46:19.040 Yeah, yeah, no, I totally get that. 0:46:19.040 --> 0:46:19.799 That's a real thing. 0:46:20.200 --> 0:46:22.680 And then I also have endometriosis, and the more I'm 0:46:22.719 --> 0:46:26.600 learning about that and like, oh, it is so empowering 0:46:26.640 --> 0:46:29.359 because for the longest time, I'm like, I'm just a leo. 0:46:29.400 --> 0:46:31.640 I'm just a fiery leo, and I'm just are you 0:46:31.680 --> 0:46:32.040 a leo? 0:46:32.680 --> 0:46:34.480 Oh my gosh, this is hilarious. 0:46:34.480 --> 0:46:38.280 What are you okay? Okay, so we got water fire. 0:46:40.680 --> 0:46:45.080 Okay, so this is making sense everything I said. 0:46:45.080 --> 0:46:48.279 You're like, get Leo's just get each other. 0:46:48.960 --> 0:46:51.760 It's so funny. I know my parents are both Leo's friends, 0:46:51.840 --> 0:46:53.560 Leo's I'm surrounded by Leo's. 0:46:53.640 --> 0:46:58.600 Yeah, same birthday as her buddy. Nobody understands. 0:46:59.560 --> 0:47:00.600 We're so many understood. 0:47:01.040 --> 0:47:04.359 We can't say enough. Really, you guys have been open 0:47:04.360 --> 0:47:07.560 and honest. Really it's talking about everything You've seem like 0:47:07.640 --> 0:47:10.320 you all just open books to a certain degree, I guess, 0:47:10.320 --> 0:47:13.480 but some things you need to keep private. As we 0:47:13.600 --> 0:47:18.680 learned it. I've guy, it's I we meet a lot 0:47:18.680 --> 0:47:23.880 of reality stars. You were here, Taylor was here, Macy 0:47:24.000 --> 0:47:26.759 was here, and who else? Lay Law was here, and 0:47:26.920 --> 0:47:28.560 you owe every single one of you. I don't know 0:47:28.600 --> 0:47:30.879 behind the scenes, but every single one of you came 0:47:30.880 --> 0:47:34.759 in here and were as delightful and pleasant and wonderful 0:47:34.920 --> 0:47:38.120 and real and authentic and all these things. And I'm like, wait, 0:47:38.160 --> 0:47:40.160 these are the same women from the show and that 0:47:40.200 --> 0:47:43.719 they're talking about online. All I'm saying is people just 0:47:43.760 --> 0:47:45.480 don't get it, and most won't get it because they 0:47:45.480 --> 0:47:47.719 won't sit down and meet you guys. I'm saying I 0:47:47.760 --> 0:47:49.719 saw that stuff. I read all this soft, I saw 0:47:49.800 --> 0:47:52.400 a lot of the show. It's just a pleasure to 0:47:52.440 --> 0:47:54.960 sit down and go, wow, they're they're good folks. 0:47:55.440 --> 0:47:55.799 Thank you. 0:47:55.880 --> 0:47:57.319 They're just good folks, and we get that. 0:47:57.360 --> 0:47:58.120 Don't google us. 0:48:00.160 --> 0:48:05.720 We never, So it's really good to get the real. 0:48:05.640 --> 0:48:06.640 Version of you two. 0:48:07.080 --> 0:48:07.920 Thank you. 0:48:07.920 --> 0:48:08.839 No, we did not do. 0:48:09.000 --> 0:48:11.080 How long have you guys been together, by the way, 0:48:11.400 --> 0:48:11.880 three years? 0:48:11.960 --> 0:48:15.000 Yeah? Yeah, engaged for how many months? Now? 0:48:16.200 --> 0:48:19.120 It's in September, yes, Wednesday day. 0:48:19.320 --> 0:48:22.000 We don't have the wedding date yet. We are leaving here. 0:48:22.080 --> 0:48:25.040 Crazy enough, we are walking about five blocks that way 0:48:25.120 --> 0:48:27.160 to pick up her ring. It just got sized, so 0:48:27.200 --> 0:48:29.120 we're talking. She's actually in here without her. 0:48:29.640 --> 0:48:31.319 I'm like sitting on my hands. But it's funny. I 0:48:31.360 --> 0:48:32.879 loved it so much and it was just a little 0:48:32.920 --> 0:48:35.480 too big, and but I didn't want to lose it 0:48:35.600 --> 0:48:37.759 for any period of time to get it sized. So 0:48:37.840 --> 0:48:40.400 I waited six months to get it sized because I 0:48:40.480 --> 0:48:43.399 just wasn't ready to be away from it four a week. 0:48:43.520 --> 0:48:45.879 So I love that I'll be reunited with the ring 0:48:46.080 --> 0:48:47.720 in in just a few minutes. 0:48:47.800 --> 0:48:50.400 You wait. Congratulations, that's amazing. 0:48:50.719 --> 0:48:52.800 Really, thank you guys. So much good luck on everything. 0:48:52.880 --> 0:48:54.919 We will certainly see you all down the road. 0:48:56.960 --> 0:49:00.319 Catch The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives season four, now 0:49:00.360 --> 0:49:03.360 streaming on Hulu. All right, everybody, If you need some 0:49:03.440 --> 0:49:06.920 advice on how to navigate life in chapter two or 0:49:07.000 --> 0:49:10.120 three or four, you can call us or email us. 0:49:10.160 --> 0:49:12.200 All the info is in the show notes. Follow us 0:49:12.200 --> 0:49:14.640 on socials. Make sure to rate and review the podcast 0:49:15.120 --> 0:49:18.640 I Do Part two, an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in 0:49:18.719 --> 0:49:20.920 love is the main objective.