Speaker 1: K forty.
Speaker 2: Y'all, that's a sound bite.
Speaker 1: That's a sound bite that.
Speaker 2: Sounds like an announcement. I'm sure they know by now.
Speaker 2: If y'all have been following my Instagram, you know, baby,
Speaker 2: I love it here in the forty forty club. Happy
Speaker 2: to be here.
Speaker 1: Dead ass, dead ass.
Speaker 2: Didn't think I would, but I do. Hey. I'm Kadeen
Speaker 2: and I'm Devoured and we're the Ellis's.
Speaker 1: You may know us from posting funny videos with our.
Speaker 2: Voice and reading each other publicly as a form of therapy.
Speaker 1: Wait, I make you need therapy most days. Wow.
Speaker 2: Oh, and one more important thing to mention, we're married.
Speaker 1: Yes, sir, we are. We created this podcast to open
Speaker 1: dialogue about some of li's most taboo topics.
Speaker 2: Things most folks don't want to talk about.
Speaker 1: Through the lens of a millennial married couple. Dead ass
Speaker 1: is a term that we say every day. So when
Speaker 1: we say dead ass, we're actually saying facts one hundred
Speaker 1: the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth.
Speaker 1: We about to take philosof to our whole new level.
Speaker 2: Dead ass starts right now.
Speaker 1: Storytime, story time?
Speaker 2: Are you going to tell the story time? On my fortye?
Speaker 1: I got mad stories. Well, not about your fortieth day,
Speaker 1: but your fortieth year. Yeah, because you had a year
Speaker 1: for the ages. Let's just use story time to just
Speaker 1: go over everything that happened for you and your forties.
Speaker 2: You mean leading up to forty, because it was technically
Speaker 2: still thirty nine.
Speaker 1: Leading up to forty, this thirty ninth year, because this
Speaker 1: is your fortieth year.
Speaker 2: Forty year, and continue with the same energy, just letting
Speaker 2: you know that now.
Speaker 1: God, may I tell you, I don't know how you
Speaker 1: can can continue with this energy?
Speaker 2: Go ahead.
Speaker 1: Number one, You traveled out of the country every month
Speaker 1: since May. And the only reason why no since April
Speaker 1: because in April I was in Canada. And the only
Speaker 1: reason why we didn't go in January, februy March is
Speaker 1: because we were on tour with the book and with
Speaker 1: the podcast You Travel. You've traveled to a different country
Speaker 1: every month. You saw Beyonce five times.
Speaker 2: Why do you squint when you say it like that,
Speaker 2: like you feel some kind of way that I saw.
Speaker 1: I don't feel. Listen. I'm I'm an honorary Beehive member, honorary,
Speaker 1: but I can't imagine seeing somebody perform five times one
Speaker 1: calendar year.
Speaker 2: It was a show, y'all. If you didn't go, sorry.
Speaker 1: You went and saw Drake, you saw LLL, you saw
Speaker 1: an Usher. In the last month, you went to Turks
Speaker 1: and Kkos, you went to Jamaica.
Speaker 2: Yep.
Speaker 1: The reason why I'm bringing all this other stuff up
Speaker 1: because it's my fortieth year. So when all of you
Speaker 1: people will be like, Caden, does irve have that same energy?
Speaker 1: Because now I'm turning forty, y'all better be in these
Speaker 1: comments asking Kadeen, what are you doing for Daval for
Speaker 1: his fortieth.
Speaker 2: Baby, I can't wait. All you got to do is
Speaker 2: say the word. The only thing that's whole to me
Speaker 2: back it is potential gigs that you may be booking.
Speaker 2: But baby, had you had a clear schedule, we'd be
Speaker 2: somewhere every month.
Speaker 1: We'd be going to see Beyonce every month for your birthday.
Speaker 1: That's that's what would happened.
Speaker 2: You missed like the highlight of the year, though, to
Speaker 2: kick everything off prior to the.
Speaker 1: Travels, what was the highlight of the year.
Speaker 2: The highlight was us together becoming New York Times best
Speaker 2: selling authors. Oh, yes, you're having an amazing sold out
Speaker 2: tour in multiple cities. Yes, I feel like that first
Speaker 2: quarter of the year was like epic and it really
Speaker 2: just set the tone for what that last year in
Speaker 2: my thirties was going to look like.
Speaker 1: That is very true. You had a very eventful and
Speaker 1: monumentous yes, end of the thirties.
Speaker 2: And very auspicious for.
Speaker 1: My Jamaicans and auspicious well. No, in all seriousness are
Speaker 1: congratulations to you. Also seizing the moment because we talked
Speaker 1: about this last week. Yes, not waiting for there to
Speaker 1: be one moment for your birthday, but taking the opportunity
Speaker 1: every day leading up to your forty if the biggest
Speaker 1: thing for me for you and your forties is that
Speaker 1: you took very good care of yourself and made it
Speaker 1: a paramount choice to eat better, live better, and be better. Yes,
Speaker 1: and that wasn't just for forty, that was just for
Speaker 1: the future. But you change your diet, you change the
Speaker 1: way you work out, you change your sleeping habits, like
Speaker 1: you really did a lot of things differently, and today
Speaker 1: I want to discuss the purpose behind that and what
Speaker 1: do you think you've gained by making all those changes
Speaker 1: in the past year. I love that before we get
Speaker 1: into all of that, we have karaoke. Karaoke time, and
Speaker 1: since this episode is dedicated to you, I'm going to
Speaker 1: let you go ahead and do your karaoke thing.
Speaker 2: In retrospect, I should feel like I should have done
Speaker 2: Beyonce song right coming.
Speaker 3: Out of.
Speaker 2: But I know, I know you're beyond. I'm sure a
Speaker 2: lot of people are. But I was just like it
Speaker 2: kind of made sense. But since we're in a new year,
Speaker 2: I'm actually go start with a throwback. This is this
Speaker 2: meme going around or is like a video that says
Speaker 2: it's like point of view. I'm that friend that when
Speaker 2: you get in the car, you're always gonna hear old music.
Speaker 2: I'm not listening to anything that's recent or new. You're
Speaker 2: always gonna probably get some sort of like random nineties
Speaker 2: to two thousand, R and B. So so, in thinking
Speaker 2: of forty and me and who I am as a
Speaker 2: woman here now, who I plan to continue to evolve into,
Speaker 2: it came down to none other than the late the
Speaker 2: Great Whitney Houston A everyone, It's all in me.
Speaker 1: Anything leg.
Speaker 2: I can cat suspect.
Speaker 1: That reminds me you can go ahead.
Speaker 2: Go ahead, go ahead inside of you anytime you feel.
Speaker 1: That reminds me of my God. Saturday Mornings she ill
Speaker 1: will wake up. It be like eight thirty. My mother up.
Speaker 1: I smell of pine sol in the wind decks. She
Speaker 1: get up. You gotta clean everybody, Get up, trauma and
Speaker 1: get up. I'm like, gosh, why child? It was either
Speaker 1: Whitney Houston or it was Babyface and Tony Braxton. Yeah,
Speaker 1: on Saturday morning it was yes.
Speaker 2: Kiss Yeah. All right, y'all, let's take a quick break.
Speaker 2: We're gonna get back into meat to the show, which
Speaker 2: is me talking about turning forty, reflecting on my last
Speaker 2: year and what I'm looking forward to. I'll share a
Speaker 2: little bit with y'all.
Speaker 1: Stay tuned, all right, So we're back, and my girl
Speaker 1: Trouble came up with some facts and stats. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: ask you these facts and stats, and you tell me
Speaker 1: if these facts and stats are true.
Speaker 2: Okay.
Speaker 1: Number one, According to research, women at forty tend to
Speaker 1: feel more self confident and sure of themselves. Is this
Speaker 1: true or false?
Speaker 2: True? Like I at forty, I didn't feel the way
Speaker 2: I expected to feel because it's just the thing that
Speaker 2: you hear about or you experience, so you just kind
Speaker 2: of dread about the idea of getting older. But I'm
Speaker 2: actually embracing it, and I'm also looking at forty being
Speaker 2: not what forty was for our parents generation or generations prior.
Speaker 2: In my forties now, I definitely just feel like I'm
Speaker 2: settled into who I am and who I'm supposed to be,
Speaker 2: And of course I'm still willing to learn and grow
Speaker 2: and change as I evolve in my forties. But so
Speaker 2: many women I've spoken to, they say the forties, this
Speaker 2: particular decade is like the best year of their lives
Speaker 2: for so many reasons. So I'm excited.
Speaker 1: Yeah, when I think about the forties, I think about
Speaker 1: so many people, women who I've looked up to an entertainment.
Speaker 1: Forty is when they kind of had that breakthrough where
Speaker 1: they became exactly who they are that you look at Raj,
Speaker 1: you look at Regina Hall and Regina King, both of
Speaker 1: their careers really exploded. They've always been consistently working in
Speaker 1: their twenties and thirties, but when they got to their
Speaker 1: forties then it was just like wow, like they out
Speaker 1: of here.
Speaker 2: If there's a power in being unapologetically who you want
Speaker 2: to be, right, not being who you think you should
Speaker 2: be or being who you should be for other people,
Speaker 2: just really genuinely sitting in that space of I like
Speaker 2: who I am, I like where I am, I like
Speaker 2: where I'm going, and also reflecting on the years prior,
Speaker 2: because for so long I have always been the person
Speaker 2: that looked at all the things that I haven't accomplished yet. Right.
Speaker 2: There was one of our podcast live shows where someone asked,
Speaker 2: you know, like, so what's next, view Kaden, like, what's
Speaker 2: some big things that you're going to do? And I'm
Speaker 2: just kind of like, wow. I was always thinking about
Speaker 2: all the things that I hadn't done yet. But I
Speaker 2: can actually sit back now and say, man, look at
Speaker 2: how much I have done and I have accomplished, and
Speaker 2: that in turn only lights a fire under me to
Speaker 2: want to do more and to be greater. And as
Speaker 2: my children get older, I think that's like a barometer
Speaker 2: for me because now my children really are looking at
Speaker 2: me as a as a mom, as a woman, as
Speaker 2: a wife, Like knowing that they're looking at me probably
Speaker 2: with a different lens as they get older, their appreciation
Speaker 2: for me as a mother, my interactions with them as
Speaker 2: a mother, the quality time that I spend with them,
Speaker 2: that is also very very important to me, And I
Speaker 2: feel like that's something that's been highlighted for me in
Speaker 2: this past year. And then you and I you know,
Speaker 2: you've known me since other than the fact that we
Speaker 2: went to elementary school together, you've known me since I
Speaker 2: was what eighteen, just about eighteen? Yeah, and you've always
Speaker 2: pushed me to be more and to do more, and
Speaker 2: to be the best that I can be and follow
Speaker 2: my dreams and dream bigger. And I'm looking at you
Speaker 2: as well, wanting to make you proud of the wor
Speaker 2: women that I am becoming. So yeah, forties for me,
Speaker 2: I just feel very very confident and sure of what
Speaker 2: I'll look like for the rest of my life.
Speaker 1: Well, you've only been forty for about thirty nine days,
Speaker 1: thirty nine down to the day, Yes, you know, December
Speaker 1: fifth and today recording right now, and it is January fifteenth. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so you forty days? About forty days, well, thirtays, thirty
Speaker 1: one in December forty one days. It's forty and forty
Speaker 1: one days.
Speaker 2: So you've been mathematics.
Speaker 1: You've been forty for forty one days. Have some questions
Speaker 1: for you? Yeah, okay, well trouble it's going to help
Speaker 1: me with these questions. But most of the conversation around
Speaker 1: women turning forty tends to be around pre menopause, wag
Speaker 1: gain and increase the beatle like that part, What are
Speaker 1: some things you want to hear more about from women
Speaker 1: over forty? And the reason why I ask is because
Speaker 1: we do have a platform where people are growing with us. Yes,
Speaker 1: you know, people who are listening may not be forty now,
Speaker 1: but if they listen and continue to listen, they're going
Speaker 1: to remember this time and say, well, I remember when
Speaker 1: Kadeen was turning forty. This is what she said she
Speaker 1: wants to hear or what she's interested in seeing or
Speaker 1: learning about turning forty. What were some things that you
Speaker 1: were just like, I'm tired of hearing about this and
Speaker 1: I want to hear more of that.
Speaker 2: What I do want to hear more about is just
Speaker 2: health and wellness. I think that's why I've been so
Speaker 2: adamant about looking into what I've been consuming my body composition.
Speaker 2: That's why on the prior season that we had here,
Speaker 2: we went I went to the holistic doctor to get
Speaker 2: some blood work done to just see what I can
Speaker 2: do now to prevent any future issues. When it comes
Speaker 2: to health and wellness and trying to break myself or
Speaker 2: rid myself of the things that quote unquote run in
Speaker 2: the family, my mom being the prime example of that.
Speaker 2: You know, she's about twenty six years my senior. So
Speaker 2: for looking at her and some of the things that
Speaker 2: she was dealing with health wise, I'm now it's causing
Speaker 2: me to take an introspective look at myself to say, Man,
Speaker 2: are there certain things that I can either eliminate from
Speaker 2: my diet or implement into my lifestyle that will make
Speaker 2: me potentially avoid those things but also give me a
Speaker 2: new lease on life?
Speaker 1: You know, do you have any regrets? It's forty years
Speaker 1: of passing your life. Is there anything in the past
Speaker 1: forty years you feel like there, I didn't do this,
Speaker 1: or I wish I didn't do that. Is there anything
Speaker 1: in your life at forty looking back now that you like,
Speaker 1: if I could have done this differently, I would have.
Speaker 2: I know we've spoken several times about if we had
Speaker 2: met later in life, or if we weren't so serious
Speaker 2: so early, I would have liked to see what my
Speaker 2: career as like a journalist might have panned out to be.
Speaker 2: I don't think it's a regret per se, because it
Speaker 2: kind of inadvertently pushed me into this space that I'm
Speaker 2: in now. So I'm still able to speak and use
Speaker 2: my personality, and it's actually a little bit more tale
Speaker 2: to like what I really want wanted to begin with,
Speaker 2: Like I didn't want to be a talking head, news reporter, anchor,
Speaker 2: but more so somebody that was in the entertainment feeling
Speaker 2: industry and stuff. I probably would have had my kids
Speaker 2: closer together and sooner to.
Speaker 1: Get that out of the way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because we had that five year gap between Jackson
Speaker 2: and Kiro and Kaz and then we have COVID again.
Speaker 2: So all I keep thinking is like, Damn, by the
Speaker 2: time Dakota's like graduating college, I'm gonna be Damn, i'mnna
Speaker 2: be well, I'm gonna be up there, think right, because
Speaker 2: the Colda's two, I'm forty six from from college. From college,
Speaker 2: like twenty.
Speaker 1: One, twenty years, Yeah, graduate from and.
Speaker 2: By the time he has children, I'm like, damn, I'm
Speaker 2: not gonna be around for his kids.
Speaker 1: Like he'd be sixty when you you talking, Like if
Speaker 1: you if Coda graduated in twenty years, he'd be You'll
Speaker 1: be sixty. You'd still be younger than your parents who
Speaker 1: are here helping us now, So yes, you'll be here.
Speaker 1: I'll be fine.
Speaker 2: My boys and my family so much and I want
Speaker 2: to be around to do the things for them that
Speaker 2: I want to do, like my be Like how my
Speaker 2: mom is from?
Speaker 1: How old is your dad?
Speaker 2: My dad's seventy one?
Speaker 1: How old is your mom sixty six? How old is
Speaker 1: grandma eighty six? How old was Grandma Joseph when she passed?
Speaker 2: She passed eighty two?
Speaker 3: Maybe?
Speaker 1: So realistically, the women in your life have lived to
Speaker 1: be eighty, right, I mean you still have a whole
Speaker 1: nother forty years of life left. True, So you have
Speaker 1: to start thinking like the end is near and start
Speaker 1: thinking like dang, like I'm not even at the midway
Speaker 1: point now, considering the fact that you are taking more
Speaker 1: advantage of the knowledge you have, being less stressed, eating
Speaker 1: better things that your grandparents and the women in your
Speaker 1: family couldn't do. Right, But now you have those advantages,
Speaker 1: so you can It's fair to say, you know what,
Speaker 1: if all else is equal, I can live to eighty
Speaker 1: plus plus ten years for sure, so that gives you
Speaker 1: ninety plus So that means you have almost sixty more
Speaker 1: years of life left, right, right?
Speaker 2: Oh, Yeah, what would you like to.
Speaker 1: See in those next sixty years.
Speaker 2: I'm looking at the evolution of just myself as a
Speaker 2: business woman, you know, first and forest is always going
Speaker 2: to be you and the boys and my family, of course,
Speaker 2: but continuing to see how I'm going to contribute to
Speaker 2: building this legacy that we have for our boys. So
Speaker 2: what's next from business standpoints? You and I continuing to
Speaker 2: build an empire together where we can then sit back
Speaker 2: and kind of just enjoy some time and some space together.
Speaker 2: So that way, I'm not going to be in a
Speaker 2: different country every month without you, right with different groups
Speaker 2: of people.
Speaker 1: But I was jealous. I was jealous, Yeah, because you
Speaker 1: got a bikini. You know what I'm saying. I got
Speaker 1: selfies every day. Every day. One thing I tell you
Speaker 1: and Kay go to go away. In the morning, when
Speaker 1: I wake up, I'm gonna give me some nice selfies
Speaker 1: I can't show y'all. And throughout the days, you're gonna
Speaker 1: take some pictures in them before you go to sleep.
Speaker 1: I get some even nicer selfies and I can never
Speaker 1: show y'all.
Speaker 3: Bro.
Speaker 1: So you that even though I was jealous you being away,
Speaker 1: I would like to be.
Speaker 2: But I want to take you along. I want us
Speaker 2: to see the world. I want to show our boys
Speaker 2: the world. I want to watch them grow. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: want to travel more. I want to take our boys
Speaker 2: and experiences. For me, it's going to be about having
Speaker 2: moments like how we started the season talking about not
Speaker 2: waiting until the new year or the beginning of the month,
Speaker 2: the beginning of the week to do things. I really
Speaker 2: want to just be in those moments and it may
Speaker 2: force me to pull back a little bit when it
Speaker 2: comes to sharing in social media, and I'm okay with that.
Speaker 2: Those are some things that I really want to just
Speaker 2: be connected in as I move into my forties. One
Speaker 2: thing that you mentioned here was the increased librito weight
Speaker 2: gain imperiment appause with stuff. I went to my obgin
Speaker 2: for my checkup, my annual check up again, top of
Speaker 2: the year thing. I used to do it at the
Speaker 2: top of the year because it's easy to remember, like oh,
Speaker 2: new year check up, and then seeing her, she told
Speaker 2: me that I have to go for a mammogram at forty.
Speaker 2: So that's one of the things that women, if you
Speaker 2: don't know you look forward to having to do that
Speaker 2: is I'm going for the first mammogram some women go
Speaker 2: earlier depending on their family history. If you had you know,
Speaker 2: breast cancer or any kind of cancer in your family history,
Speaker 2: you have to go earlier. But seeing it so I
Speaker 2: don't have that now, I'm going to have to schedule
Speaker 2: an appointment for that. Not looking forward to it because
Speaker 2: I haven't heard the best stories about mammograms, but some
Speaker 2: people to say like it's uncomfortable. You know, you're pretty
Speaker 2: much in a machine that was gonna squeeze your breast
Speaker 2: tissue like to a pancake. I don't know if that's
Speaker 2: true or not, but you know, based off self exams
Speaker 2: and my obgu I am doing exams with me, everything
Speaker 2: seems to be good. But I mean, it's one of
Speaker 2: those things that's preventive, right, so you just go every
Speaker 2: year or every two years or as needed to get
Speaker 2: that checked up on.
Speaker 3: Its true that they're going to smash your breast in
Speaker 3: the mammogram, And what makes it even worse is that
Speaker 3: when they're doing the mammogram, they're taking the picture, they're
Speaker 3: smashing your titty and you have to hold your breath.
Speaker 3: Oh wow, they're doing it, So it's like the most
Speaker 3: awkward thing in the world.
Speaker 2: Super awkward, So you smash my titty into a pancake
Speaker 2: and I have to hold my breast multaneously when normally,
Speaker 2: when things like this happen, the only way you can
Speaker 2: deal with it is breathing.
Speaker 1: Bathing.
Speaker 2: So I'm it's giving like niggas be passing out.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean you only you only pass out if
Speaker 1: you're not aware, So you shall practice. So when we
Speaker 1: leave the room, you're gonna hold your breath. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: squeze your titties. Now when if you're about to pass out,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna let go and tell you, yo, yo, you
Speaker 1: almost passed out. So let's let's practice this more often, you.
Speaker 2: Know, and I can tell my my I had a man,
Speaker 2: My graham, my man, my man, My grammed me and
Speaker 2: all's well on the home front. Also increase higher libido.
Speaker 2: I've spoken about finally you having the visect to me
Speaker 2: me getting off of birth control. Women say that the
Speaker 2: libido spikes in the forties. I'm not sure what that is.
Speaker 2: If it's just the changes in hormones, being perimenopausal, all
Speaker 2: that stuff, I think it's pretty.
Speaker 1: That.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it is premenopause when you start basically having menopausal symptoms,
Speaker 3: but that menopause is defined as having not had a
Speaker 3: menstrual cycle in twelve months for twelve months, and perimenopause
Speaker 3: it can be intermittent.
Speaker 2: Oh so you may have a period like one month
Speaker 2: and then maybe like it'll disappear for a little bit,
Speaker 2: and then.
Speaker 3: You still have your period, but you start having more
Speaker 3: hormonal changes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, man, more hormonal changes in the forties.
Speaker 1: I'm dealing with hormonal changes since you was a teenager.
Speaker 1: But eighteen to twenty was hormonal changes pregnancy, all of
Speaker 1: your thirties hormonal changes. Now the forties, I gotta deal
Speaker 1: with more hormonal changes. Augies.
Speaker 2: Imagine us having to or me having to actually deal
Speaker 2: with them in my body. It's a lot of hormonal changes.
Speaker 2: You need to support hold my hand.
Speaker 1: I need to support, oh my hand because now it's
Speaker 1: gonna be I gotta understand this too, because you're going
Speaker 1: to do so once again, gentlemen, we're gonna have to understand.
Speaker 2: Well I will, We're gonna have to understand now in
Speaker 2: my forties, I want to expect you to always understand.
Speaker 2: But what I will do is overly communicate how I'm
Speaker 2: feel and the things that I want and need when
Speaker 2: you can also express to me the things that you
Speaker 2: want and need, so we can get through this together.
Speaker 2: I had her together. You should get a prize because.
Speaker 1: Think about after perimenopause is actual menopause. Then I gotta
Speaker 1: go through that with you.
Speaker 2: Just take me on a trip. I think it'll be fine.
Speaker 1: Look, that solves everything. She was on trips all last year.
Speaker 2: I ain't solving anything on a trip, and I think
Speaker 2: I'll be fine. I think I'll be fine. Yeah, are
Speaker 2: always going to be the answer. But yeah, also, so
Speaker 2: we talked about that weight gain. I've, like I said,
Speaker 2: been super super sensitive about the things that I'm eating,
Speaker 2: the things that I'm consuming. You and I are barely
Speaker 2: recognizable when it comes to what we're eating now, Like
Speaker 2: I couldn't believe it, and I didn't think that you
Speaker 2: would be there with me. But I appreciate that we
Speaker 2: can do that together.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're gonna do it. I'm gonna do it so
Speaker 1: that it's easier. It's worse than changing your diet, but
Speaker 1: then watching the person that's your partner still eating the
Speaker 1: way you was eating, because then it's like smells good,
Speaker 1: Let me just get a little piece. Oh, let's just
Speaker 1: do it together.
Speaker 2: It's like the whole household has has changed. So I
Speaker 2: love that for us. And then that way I can
Speaker 2: just embrace the body that I have in age gracefully.
Speaker 2: You know, people still gonna tell me my buddy button
Speaker 2: looks funny or that's the rumor.
Speaker 1: But it's the same belly button since I met her
Speaker 1: when she was eighteen. It's the same belly buttony.
Speaker 2: Don't even try to continue to explain it. One thing
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna do in my forties, y'all is argue
Speaker 2: with anybody and go back and forth in comments about
Speaker 2: my fucking belly button. It's the belly button I was
Speaker 2: born with. So for all of the tummy tuck rumors
Speaker 2: and oh the belly button look man made and it
Speaker 2: looks funny, my stomach's gonna look funny because I had
Speaker 2: four kids. Like, I don't know anybody who's had four
Speaker 2: children whose stomach just looks completely normal, like they're in
Speaker 2: their twenties, hey, man, Like, it's just not a thing.
Speaker 2: So between that and having the diastasius recti and having
Speaker 2: the protrusion, one minute, people think I'm pregnant again. The
Speaker 2: next minute people think I had a tummy tuck. Y'all
Speaker 2: pick pick us. But what I'm not gonna do is
Speaker 2: go back and forth with nobody about my damn belly button. Period.
Speaker 2: I just maybe that's forty.
Speaker 1: I've never looked at a picture and focused on a
Speaker 1: belly button. I've never done it. I don't know what
Speaker 1: it is, bro, I don't know what.
Speaker 2: And it's literally other women just picking women apart, and
Speaker 2: they be.
Speaker 1: Wrong and strong man, loud and proud. I'll be seeing
Speaker 1: some of the comments. I know that's a fake belly button.
Speaker 1: I can tell because my cousin got the same.
Speaker 2: The stomach looked like this. You know how, I think
Speaker 2: no stomachs look the same.
Speaker 1: I gotta say this, say this, and look at the camera.
Speaker 1: That is her belly button, Bro, I don't care how
Speaker 1: that is her belly button. Okay, Kadeen did not get
Speaker 1: a tummy tuck. Trust me, if Kadeen would have got
Speaker 1: a tummy talk, she still wouldn't have the little protrusion
Speaker 1: from the this Saty's wrecked eigh. We know this because
Speaker 1: she thought about it.
Speaker 2: I did.
Speaker 1: She thought. She literally said, Babe, after four kids, do
Speaker 1: you think it should be good to have a tummy
Speaker 1: Tuck and we talked about it. I was just like,
Speaker 1: I don't know, because then you're gonna be out of commission,
Speaker 1: and I think you can just work through it. Me
Speaker 1: being an exercise person, I was like, Yo, if we
Speaker 1: do what we gotta do together in the gym, been
Speaker 1: doing and we've been doing, I feel like you can
Speaker 1: get back. And last year, that's another thing we forgot.
Speaker 1: Last year, you walked in Fashion Week, which is something
Speaker 1: that you that was huge for you and you will.
Speaker 1: You're thirty nine going into forty, and a large part
Speaker 1: of us changing was because we wanted you to be
Speaker 1: at the best version of yourself walking on that point
Speaker 1: at that stage, and you achieved that, like you were
Speaker 1: out here and when it was hot, because the Fast
Speaker 1: Show was in September. Jackson started football in July and August.
Speaker 1: Me and Jackson every week, twice a week, we'll go
Speaker 1: to that field and we will be running. It'd be
Speaker 1: one hundred and fifteen degrees out there. I got the harness,
Speaker 1: I got all this other stuff. I'm pulling k back
Speaker 1: she running, So I know it would be annoying to
Speaker 1: you to do all of that shit only for people
Speaker 1: to go out there and be like, noa like her
Speaker 1: stomach of belly button fake? Nah, fuck y'all. A belly
Speaker 1: button our fake because if it was, we wouldn't have
Speaker 1: been out there with that damn heat running on the
Speaker 1: freaking field.
Speaker 2: That's the fact. Would have skipped all that.
Speaker 1: Seriously though, Like seriously, now.
Speaker 2: If you'll tell me my arms look a little fat,
Speaker 2: that is true because I do neglect my upper body.
Speaker 2: And I've been saying that's one of my goals this year.
Speaker 2: I've been telling upper body WORKOUTSK.
Speaker 1: We'll go into the gym and squat and lunge and
Speaker 1: deadlifts and life depends on it. And I'd be like,
Speaker 1: what you do for body? Oh, I did some ball twist,
Speaker 1: but that's not an upper body workout.
Speaker 2: No. Upper body is just so boring to me. So
Speaker 2: I'm gonna challenge myself this year and do more upper
Speaker 2: body because I don't want to have them like arms,
Speaker 2: you know what I'm saying. And I do see some
Speaker 2: size in my arms, so I mean you you do.
Speaker 1: See some size, but that ain't But you know what
Speaker 1: sexy though? What that a nice chisel back a woman
Speaker 1: that's lately big with like them thighs and them glose
Speaker 1: and and everything in her back.
Speaker 2: And the low back dresses and stuff like that. That's
Speaker 2: what I'm gonna work challenge myself for. Like, by the
Speaker 2: time the summer comes, I'm gonna do more upper body
Speaker 2: and back stuff because that made my challenge. Like I
Speaker 2: got pretty much all my weight, like you know, the
Speaker 2: strength back in my legs, my core is getting that
Speaker 2: much better. So Yeah'm gonna I'm gonna work on that, y'all.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna work on that. And any day I do
Speaker 2: do a BBL or tummy tuck, just know I'm gonna
Speaker 2: get my hip dips filled.
Speaker 1: That's how you're not gettel.
Speaker 2: How you'll know my body done is if I got
Speaker 2: my If I get hips all of a sudden, I know, because.
Speaker 1: You're here looking like a wisdom tooth, I know there
Speaker 1: will be no hip hops feeling look like a wisdom tooth.
Speaker 1: Here's my thing. I have no problems with plastic surgery.
Speaker 1: A woman get plastic surgery or for whatever, good. But
Speaker 1: my thing is you gotta look like a human still. Yes,
Speaker 1: you can't walk around looking like a wisdom tooth. It's
Speaker 1: just not attractive. Hips wider than your shoulders. Right, I'm
Speaker 1: not for the hip dips. I'm not for the hip dips.
Speaker 1: Now a woman give her dedicate her life to having kids,
Speaker 1: stretch marks, calm, things fall because of gravity. You can't
Speaker 1: I get it. I get it. And it's and men
Speaker 1: can't be judging women how their bodies changed. We never
Speaker 1: have that kids, and.
Speaker 2: Women shouldn't be judging it. We already know the struggles.
Speaker 2: I know we shouldn't be, but we should know the
Speaker 2: struggle that we deal with, whether it's a little bit
Speaker 2: of weight gain just because, or if it's weight gain
Speaker 2: from children, or you know, saggy skin and stretch marks
Speaker 2: and all that. Thankfully genetic genetically, I think I lucked
Speaker 2: out because my mom has not one stretch mark from
Speaker 2: three kids. Her skin is like, yeah, my grandmother's skin
Speaker 2: is like but so thankfully I didn't end up too
Speaker 2: bad with the stretch mark department. I have some of
Speaker 2: my thighs and my but.
Speaker 1: I've never once looked at a stretch mark. Yeah, I've
Speaker 1: never not once. You've had stretch marks since you were nineteen,
Speaker 1: You've had your booty, your hips. You're right here. You
Speaker 1: always say, I've never once looked at the trench marks
Speaker 1: and be like, oh, I can't.
Speaker 2: Even and shout out to my mom and my aunts
Speaker 2: and my grandma because we all got booties on that side.
Speaker 1: So yes, that's another thing to Cale did not get
Speaker 1: her butt done now. I will say this though, I
Speaker 1: will say this the top of the year. Last year,
Speaker 1: when we started working, kve been doing squats like religiously,
Speaker 1: and when I mean squats heavyweight because this is the
Speaker 1: first time after I had to resect me. Kate was like, Yo,
Speaker 1: I'm not having no more kids. Let's get into get
Speaker 1: in this body right. We've been doing heavyweight squats, goblet squats,
Speaker 1: sumo squats, body weight squats, single leg squats, hungarian squats,
Speaker 1: r DLS, hydrants, RDL's Romanian dead list, we do straight
Speaker 1: leg deadlist, we do hydrants. You got yeah, everything everything.
Speaker 1: So your legs look completely different.
Speaker 2: Than still not even where I want them to be at.
Speaker 2: My legs still got a little fat that I'm trying
Speaker 2: to I'm trying to get a knee cat. I never
Speaker 2: had a knee cap in my life, so that's another
Speaker 2: goal of mine, to get a lean cat.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be honest, I ain't never wanted you to
Speaker 1: have a a cat I'm fine.
Speaker 2: You see how use women pick ourselves apart, even in
Speaker 2: our forties. We still do. We still do. It's just
Speaker 2: what happens.
Speaker 1: But yeah, you just pick yourself apart.
Speaker 2: I do. I do.
Speaker 1: And I'm here to tell you to chill out.
Speaker 2: Thank you, chill out? Hey, if you like it? I
Speaker 2: love it?
Speaker 1: Oh, I love it. Can't you tell we got full
Speaker 1: boys here? Because I love it so much? Oh my gosh,
Speaker 1: I got I got one more question for you. Okay,
Speaker 1: have you already experienced any physical or mental changes since
Speaker 1: turning forty forty one days ago?
Speaker 2: Physical changes, I will say overall, I have a lot
Speaker 2: more energy, but it could also just be the change
Speaker 2: that I've made in like my diet and the way
Speaker 2: I eat and stuff like that, and also prioritize and
Speaker 2: sleep like I'm no longer subscribing to Team No Sleep.
Speaker 2: Give me my pillow, give me my bed, I'm going
Speaker 2: to sleep. I'm taking this snap. I'm going to do that.
Speaker 2: So other than that, nothing super physically. Mentally, I just
Speaker 2: feel like I'm in a good place. I just feel
Speaker 2: like I'm in a good place. And how It's like,
Speaker 2: how can I not be? God has blessed me? Immensely.
Speaker 2: He's shown me all the favor in my life. Yeah,
Speaker 2: you know, I have you by my side every day.
Speaker 2: On days that I feel like I don't want to,
Speaker 2: you know, I might being a little rut er. I'm
Speaker 2: trying to figure out what's next. Like You're just like, babe,
Speaker 2: go do it. I got you. You've always found ways
Speaker 2: to make sure that my life was that much easier
Speaker 2: so I can just do the things that I really
Speaker 2: want to do for myself and for my family. I
Speaker 2: love you for that. So I have to say, even
Speaker 2: though I turned forty and it was a huge milestone
Speaker 2: in my life, you asked me what I wanted to
Speaker 2: do when you thought maybe I wanted to have a
Speaker 2: huge birthday party with a ton of people, because historically
Speaker 2: that's how we've done things. You know, all the kids'
Speaker 2: first birthday parties were at least two hundred people. They
Speaker 2: were huge, and I'm like, no, in this season of life,
Speaker 2: I just want my core people. I want time with you.
Speaker 2: So you took me to Vegas. We had a nice
Speaker 2: little weekend or a couple of days, you know, to
Speaker 2: see usher. I wanted to be with my boys, my parents,
Speaker 2: you know, my brother and my sister and my family
Speaker 2: was like, Yo, we want to celebrate you. Let's go
Speaker 2: to Jamaica. My girls were like, hey, we want to
Speaker 2: take you away to Turks. Like it was really nice
Speaker 2: to be in those moments, to be loved on in
Speaker 2: that way. You know, day to day you see people, family, friends,
Speaker 2: and you enjoy their space, you say hello, you touch base.
Speaker 2: But it's different when people purposefully come together to celebrate
Speaker 2: you in all of your favorite things, and it makes
Speaker 2: you feel that much more seen, that much more appreciated.
Speaker 2: So shout out to you, to my family, to my
Speaker 2: core group of girlfriends that took me away and really
Speaker 2: just loved on me. Like the end of twenty twenty
Speaker 2: three for me and the end of my thirties was like,
Speaker 2: I wish that everybody can go out that way. We'll
Speaker 2: not go out there.
Speaker 1: I'll make turn the forties seem like you just transition
Speaker 1: to afterlight. I would be everybody can go out the
Speaker 1: way I would. I would have My friends was around me,
Speaker 1: my family, they held it down. You know, I appreciate
Speaker 1: them last days.
Speaker 2: Sending me off into my forties. I forgot that that
Speaker 2: was the right way to say it.
Speaker 1: But you know what, I mean I got to go
Speaker 1: out like that, you know, it was a lot, you know,
Speaker 1: and then.
Speaker 2: My thirties with the bank, and now I'm looking forward
Speaker 2: to celebrating you, sir. So we're going to talk about
Speaker 2: what you're looking forward to in another podcast going into Hopefully.
Speaker 1: I get a chance to go out like you went out.
Speaker 1: You know, we can have everybody come together and mourn
Speaker 1: the last thirty nine years because that was.
Speaker 3: YO.
Speaker 1: Listening to y'all talk about forty, I'm to tell you now,
Speaker 1: I ain't looking at forty like that. It's gonna be
Speaker 1: a motherfucker party.
Speaker 2: It is exciting, though, I'm super excited, But I say
Speaker 2: that to say there's people who do feel like forty
Speaker 2: is like the end, and I just want you to
Speaker 2: know that it's not. It's literally the beginning. It's the
Speaker 2: idea of getting older, especially as women, you think things
Speaker 2: are going to fall apart, gravity is going to be
Speaker 2: against you, like, there's so many things that you're thinking about.
Speaker 2: But I am looking forward to doing all the things
Speaker 2: with you by my side and my boys and our family.
Speaker 1: So that's what's up. That's what's up.
Speaker 3: Nah.
Speaker 1: I appreciate you, baby.
Speaker 2: You Yah. I appreciate you.
Speaker 1: You You are exactly where I thought you were going
Speaker 1: to be at forty really accomplished fine, a mother, thank you, fine,
Speaker 1: uh intelligent, fine, taken care of fine. This is where
Speaker 1: I thought you were going to be a forty fine,
Speaker 1: and I think you're going to be there at fifty
Speaker 1: and sixty and seventy. And I just I'm not Age
Speaker 1: means nothing to me, the same way I don't care
Speaker 1: that much about the New Year, right, I don't care
Speaker 1: about a number. I just know where we are. And
Speaker 1: it's just like, let's enjoy, embrace alet of this song.
Speaker 2: Let's do it together. Baby. I'm excited, I'm excited about you,
Speaker 2: and I just like, in a sense aging backwards, right,
Speaker 2: just kind of leaving our worries and troubles behind and
Speaker 2: just like enjoying it, enjoying it the positivity around aging.
Speaker 2: So I love that for us.
Speaker 1: Let's all take a quick break while we unpacked. You know,
Speaker 1: everything that happened in the last thirty nine years that
Speaker 1: we had to let Kate go and come back, and
Speaker 1: we're gonna unpack that while we pay some ads. You know,
Speaker 1: it was rough first thirty nine. We went out, we
Speaker 1: went out though we went out like a check like.
Speaker 2: Chick around, y'all, we'll be back.
Speaker 1: All right, So we're back. I've been taking a quick
Speaker 1: break back. We are discussing turning forty m and since
Speaker 1: I'm still thirty nine, I don't think I'm worthy of
Speaker 1: reading the first list of the letter. I'll let you.
Speaker 1: I'll let you read the first listen to letters. Is
Speaker 1: you put all these years into life?
Speaker 2: Listen mad years and mad days above you? So let
Speaker 2: me go first. Thank you, Hey, Kadeina devoured. First off,
Speaker 2: I want to start by saying how much I love
Speaker 2: watching you and the boys. We have a lot of
Speaker 2: the same opinions on life and being despite me being
Speaker 2: only twenty four. I know to y'all I'm a baby,
Speaker 2: Yes you are. But I'm married and I've been for
Speaker 2: almost six years.
Speaker 1: That's what's up.
Speaker 2: Oh wow, six years eighteen Okay, very similar. You guys
Speaker 2: have inspired me in more ways than you can think.
Speaker 2: And recently I think I found evidence of my husband cheating,
Speaker 2: Lord cheating come stains on the bottom of his shirt,
Speaker 2: and when I brought it to his attention, he denied
Speaker 2: and reassured me that there was nothing going on. I
Speaker 2: know I'm not stupid, and I know I know what
Speaker 2: quickiecumstains look like. Okay, might I add this has been
Speaker 2: going on for about three months now, on and off,
Speaker 2: once or twice a week or so. Every week. He
Speaker 2: never has a good excuse as to what it is.
Speaker 2: It's always I don't know. I had a borderline panic
Speaker 2: attack because I have two small children twenty one months
Speaker 2: and four months a while.
Speaker 1: It's like super back to back, and.
Speaker 2: Even though I don't believe in staying in relationships for children,
Speaker 2: making relationship decisions with children is hard. Nonetheless, there has
Speaker 2: been infidelity on his part in the past, and even
Speaker 2: though it's been years since I've had suspicion, a bunch
Speaker 2: of things are running through my mind as to why
Speaker 2: this would be going on again. It's hard to believe
Speaker 2: that he would actually do something like this and break
Speaker 2: our family. Plus, I believe cheating is so childish. Single
Speaker 2: or at least communicate that you're not happy and are
Speaker 2: interested in seeing other people because we've been together so long.
Speaker 2: For me, I would have to leave mentally before I
Speaker 2: leave physically. So my question is, do you guys have
Speaker 2: any advice on choosing yourself and learning your worth after
Speaker 2: an infidelity crisis so that you can move on. Oh, man,
Speaker 2: I hate to hear stuff like this man, but they're
Speaker 2: so young. I wonder if he's probably on the same
Speaker 2: age eighteen married.
Speaker 1: Like she should have sent in pictures that have come
Speaker 1: stains so that we can either confirm or deny if
Speaker 1: they really come stays. No, I'm just being honest because women,
Speaker 1: particularly pregnant women, tend to overreact and think things that
Speaker 1: are not happening. They're going through emotions, right, Okay, they're
Speaker 1: going through stuff. What if my man ain't cheating to.
Speaker 2: How we do you explain the stings?
Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying. How do we know what's a comestain?
Speaker 2: So what you think he's just eating his sandwich sloppy lys.
Speaker 1: No, I'm not saying that it's not a comstain. I'm
Speaker 1: just saying, how do I give you advice on what
Speaker 1: you say is a comstain? I don't know if it's
Speaker 1: a commestand I would want to see it so I
Speaker 1: could be like, oh, that's a comstay a nigga cheating,
Speaker 1: or be like, sweetheart, that's not a cumstain. Like where
Speaker 1: you're talking about. You sound kind of crazy. I don't
Speaker 1: know how to give for advice because I don't have
Speaker 1: enough information based on what she's saying. She says she's
Speaker 1: seen comstains, he's denying it.
Speaker 2: Okay, so sis send us photos of it. No seriously though,
Speaker 2: I think because there is a history of cheating, maybe
Speaker 2: she feels like this is something that has done in
Speaker 2: the past, and maybe she's having suspicions about it. I
Speaker 2: know what it's like when you have two small children
Speaker 2: back to back. Had we've had those issues, well, issues
Speaker 2: meaning like the stress that comes with being pregnant back
Speaker 2: to back. Absolutely, so if she has a twenty one
Speaker 2: month old and a four months old, means that she's
Speaker 2: not sleeping, her body's probably out of commission. You've been
Speaker 2: pre natal and postpartum at the same time. Your hormones
Speaker 2: are all over the place, your libido is at an
Speaker 2: all time low. There's so many things, So I would
Speaker 2: want to know what your life is looking like sexually
Speaker 2: between you and your husband. Are y'all having regular sex?
Speaker 2: Is that potentially an issue? Why he may be looking
Speaker 2: for it elsewhere?
Speaker 1: You know?
Speaker 2: What's communication looking like in the household? Are you know?
Speaker 2: Are y'all bickering. Are you nagging? Is he nagging? Is
Speaker 2: there complaints about not enough sex? Like, there's a lot
Speaker 2: of things that can be dissected here if we had
Speaker 2: a little bit more. I think I'm background on the story.
Speaker 1: Who leaves umstains on they shirt and go home?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: That's like to me, just sounds like it's happened. It's happened,
Speaker 1: okay after the first time, and she noticed it. How
Speaker 1: about us, like, yo, let me move my shirt out
Speaker 1: the way. Like for me, it just seems like I'm
Speaker 1: not sure.
Speaker 2: Unless he just doesn't care at this point, he's like, well,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna get caught, I'm gonna get call.
Speaker 1: But here's my thing. If he don't care, then he'd
Speaker 1: just be like, yeah, they come stains, and so he
Speaker 1: cares enough to lie if he's lying. So if you
Speaker 1: care enough to lie, then why don't you care enough
Speaker 1: to take your shirt off or pull your shirt up
Speaker 1: or you know what I'm saying, Like, I just want
Speaker 1: to know.
Speaker 2: Because we've many of quikies where you just like you
Speaker 2: pull the shirt up over your head like.
Speaker 1: This, I've never had I've never had costings on my
Speaker 1: shirt on our shirt ever, Like we come on. We've
Speaker 1: been against who's eighteen? We had mad quokies in the
Speaker 1: car going right before we had heads to our parents
Speaker 1: for Valentine's or you know what I'm saying, yo, your
Speaker 1: parents just going let's go. I've never once just had
Speaker 1: come staying on my shirt, right, so I wonder what
Speaker 1: that is. But even if you know, even if it ain't,
Speaker 1: she asked a question about knowing your worth. Truth of
Speaker 1: the matter is, I would never just stay in a
Speaker 1: relationship for my kids. I personally would be like, listen,
Speaker 1: I am a better father if I'm in a better
Speaker 1: place with peace. You and I can co parent, We
Speaker 1: can be friends. We don't even have to be friends.
Speaker 1: We have to be able to co parent, though. And
Speaker 1: if you're willing to work with me and doing that,
Speaker 1: then cool. If you're not willing to work with me
Speaker 1: on that, that's cool too, because I still got to
Speaker 1: be who I am for my children. I do also know, though,
Speaker 1: that sometimes the other person can make it hard for
Speaker 1: you to parents when they want something that you don't want.
Speaker 1: You know, we've seen time and time again since we've
Speaker 1: been together, people who have kids. One wants to be
Speaker 1: in a relationship and one don't. Then the person who
Speaker 1: does want to be in a relationship makes it hard
Speaker 1: for that person to be a parent because that's the
Speaker 1: only way that they can keep that person engage in
Speaker 1: whatever relationship. Because I'm just talk with them, you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying, So I know how hard that is.
Speaker 1: But as far as knowing your words, you know what
Speaker 1: your worth is. You know exactly what your worth is
Speaker 1: and what you're willing to receive and accept. And if
Speaker 1: you're not willing to receive and accept cheating, then it's
Speaker 1: time to go. You know what I'm saying. Like, there's
Speaker 1: no debating it. It's just time to go. Your children
Speaker 1: wouldn't say, babe, but mom, stay and get cheated on
Speaker 1: for us, babies won't say that they want to see
Speaker 1: their parents happy too.
Speaker 2: And also too, she said, just be single, or at
Speaker 2: least communicate that you're not happy and or interested in
Speaker 2: seeing other people. Maybe start their spark the communication by
Speaker 2: talk about what it is like. Just come to him
Speaker 2: with some sort of well, of course, the approaches and everything,
Speaker 2: So just say, hey, are you just not happy here? Like,
Speaker 2: just please be honest with me so we can get
Speaker 2: some clarity about what we should do. Moving forward, because genuinely,
Speaker 2: all you should want at the end of the day
Speaker 2: is for both of you to be happy in whatever
Speaker 2: space that looks like. And like you said, being a
Speaker 2: co parent who's a healthier version of themselves is always
Speaker 2: better for the children in the long run, you know.
Speaker 2: So I don't have the conversation about that.
Speaker 1: She said, they've been married going on six years, right,
Speaker 1: and she's only twenty four. They've been together, say were.
Speaker 2: Eighteen, right, that's if he's the same.
Speaker 1: Hopefully he's around that age, or they're young, they're growing together.
Speaker 1: But if he's not, he's a little bit older. But
Speaker 1: my thing is too. And this is just the God's
Speaker 1: honest truth. It takes a certain level of maturity in
Speaker 1: man to know how to deal with and have empathy
Speaker 1: for a woman who is carrying a child. Every man
Speaker 1: is not made to be a father. Every man is
Speaker 1: not made to be a spouse, you know, and every
Speaker 1: man is not made to be the person responsible for
Speaker 1: the woman carrying the child. And you had two children
Speaker 1: back to back. If he's young, he may not be
Speaker 1: mature enough to understand what it means to be in
Speaker 1: that position. And if that's the case, let him go
Speaker 1: do what he doing, and you go be who you
Speaker 1: need to be for your children and find someone if
Speaker 1: you desire to be with, someone who was prepared enough
Speaker 1: and emotionally prepared enough to take on that role. Because
Speaker 1: if he is cheating consistently, then that's not gonna stop
Speaker 1: just because you pointed it out. And I think sometimes
Speaker 1: that's what people think, I caught you. Now that I
Speaker 1: caught you a you're gonna stop right, No, you caught me.
Speaker 1: I'ma lie about it, and I'm gonna find another way
Speaker 1: to do it. You know, it takes a level of
Speaker 1: emotional maturity to stop that behavior if you want to.
Speaker 1: I think a lot of people need to understand once
Speaker 1: you decide to have a child, and I'll speak to
Speaker 1: women for this, understand that it's a lot for a
Speaker 1: man to know how to deal with all of the
Speaker 1: changes a woman goes through. So when you decide that
Speaker 1: you want to lay down with a man, and that
Speaker 1: man may be the father of your child, have discernment
Speaker 1: with who you choosing to lay down with, the same
Speaker 1: way we have to have discernment as men on who
Speaker 1: we're gonna lay down with and impregnate. It's the same
Speaker 1: thing because.
Speaker 2: There's always a possibility.
Speaker 1: And if you sleeping with somebody and you looking at
Speaker 1: them and saying this person will not make a good father,
Speaker 1: they're not empathetic, that they don't care about anyone else,
Speaker 1: don't sleep with them, because then you get this situation, right, right,
Speaker 1: this is the truth, gentlemen. Your girl get pregnant, the
Speaker 1: first three months or that trimester, she not gonna want
Speaker 1: hear from you. She's gonna be nauseous, she's gonna be tired,
Speaker 1: she's gonna be throwing up all the time, and every
Speaker 1: time she looks at you, she's gonna be disgusted at
Speaker 1: the fact that you get to be normal and she
Speaker 1: has to go through. Well, it's the first three months. Yeah,
Speaker 1: the next three months, she's gonna feel like she wasn't pregnant. Oh,
Speaker 1: I'm out the first try mester. It's the second trimester.
Speaker 1: But you know what happens in the second trimester. Women
Speaker 1: start to show a little bit, but that show isn't
Speaker 1: really a baby bump, it's a pudge. So now that
Speaker 1: same woman is gonna be a little bit insecure about
Speaker 1: how she looks because she's a little bit heavy now,
Speaker 1: like things aren't fitting the same them pants don't close.
Speaker 2: Have you done a little bit?
Speaker 1: A little bit, You're gonna have to deal with that.
Speaker 1: So now, first semester, you was dealing with her hating
Speaker 1: you because she was sick every day. Now the second trimester,
Speaker 1: she's gonna hate you because she don't look the same.
Speaker 1: She's starting to change a little bit. Third trimester's hell
Speaker 1: because now she's big, she ready for this kid to
Speaker 1: come out. Her pelvis is gonna be hurting, she's gonna
Speaker 1: be have discharge, she's not gonna want to have sex.
Speaker 1: She's gonna hate everybody. And if you, as a woman,
Speaker 1: haven't chosen the right man to walk that journey with,
Speaker 1: you're gonna find yourself extremely disappointed because dudes's gonna be like,
Speaker 1: what is happening? And here's the crazy part. That's only
Speaker 1: the beginning. Because then there's a fourth trimester when the
Speaker 1: baby gets here and you have sleep deprivation. You gotta
Speaker 1: wake up every two and a half hours to breastfeed.
Speaker 1: Your boobs are gonna be sore, probably cracked and bleeding.
Speaker 1: Your vagina's gonna be sore. You know, if you had
Speaker 1: to have surgery's gonna have to be snitched.
Speaker 3: Up.
Speaker 1: So now we're going on a full year. You haven't
Speaker 1: had the woman that you laid down to have sex with.
Speaker 1: You know what happens to most men who don't, who
Speaker 1: aren't prepared for that, They cheat. You know what happens
Speaker 1: to most women who haven't chosen the right party to
Speaker 1: go through that with, they get cheated on. Couple that
Speaker 1: with the fact that y'all did all of that, had
Speaker 1: the baby, and then a couple months later got pregnant again.
Speaker 2: Yeah, man, it's a lot. Your body hasn't even fully
Speaker 2: recovered from what happened to it last time.
Speaker 1: It's a lot. Like like ladies and gentlemen, pregnancy and
Speaker 1: delivery and child rearing is a lot. It is never
Speaker 1: on one person. Two people had to lay down to
Speaker 1: make that child. Two people have to take care of it.
Speaker 1: If you don't choose the right partner, you're gonna end
Speaker 1: up in situations like this fact men and women, because
Speaker 1: I know some ain't ship mothers and I know some
Speaker 1: ain't shit fathers. I know some people that be like,
Speaker 1: why would you even have a child the way you
Speaker 1: behave It's not stupidity, it's not gender specific, trust me,
Speaker 1: and it's not age specific because I know some dumb
Speaker 1: old motherfuckers and I know some dumb young motherfuckers. That's
Speaker 1: the truth. Like, I can't see him find an older
Speaker 1: women to have a baby, which she'll be better though,
Speaker 1: No find the older man to have a baby, but
Speaker 1: he'll be better. No, them niggas is dumb. They was dumb
Speaker 1: as young people and they dumb his.
Speaker 2: That's one thing. Yeah, I've noticed it at the rifle
Speaker 2: age of forty that people some people are just their
Speaker 2: same eighteen year old selves and they're same twenty something
Speaker 2: year old selves that have just aged yes to forty
Speaker 2: and beyond yes, and have not grown at all and
Speaker 2: have no desire to change.
Speaker 1: So hopefully we've helped you. The biggest thing here is
Speaker 1: but confirm that is come stains all right. So if
Speaker 1: you want to take some pictures, send it back to Trouble.
Speaker 1: We will send it to our labs and our labs
Speaker 1: of me Josh, Matt and Trupple gonna look at it
Speaker 1: and be like, I don't know if this is coming
Speaker 1: out or it maybe come and then tell you, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: he cheating on you. So send it to us again
Speaker 1: and we can close this. We should have We should
Speaker 1: have a dead ass Court. We should have a dead
Speaker 1: ass Court.
Speaker 2: Bro equipped with forensics for real, all sorts.
Speaker 1: Of stuff I'll pull I pull up in this motherfucker
Speaker 1: like this. I got the test right here.
Speaker 2: It's dead ass Come when they come.
Speaker 1: To the cumb stains on Jonathan's T shirt, you are
Speaker 1: a cheater. She's gonna get up and be like he's
Speaker 1: gonna run in the bag.
Speaker 4: Yod deplete to today we have we should definitely, we
Speaker 4: should definitely do dead ass Court, y'all.
Speaker 1: What do you think y'all think?
Speaker 2: I feel like the after show can kind of be
Speaker 2: like dead Ass Court. We're gonna find out from Josh
Speaker 2: Trouble and that what they think about this.
Speaker 1: So hold coming to you after after the show show,
Speaker 1: Dead Ass Court Live, all right, Number two.
Speaker 2: Communicate, Please figure out what's going on over there and
Speaker 2: circle back with us and let us know how it goes,
Speaker 2: So all the best uses for real.
Speaker 1: Number two. I would like to say I would like
Speaker 1: to stay anonymous because I've told everyone I know to
Speaker 1: listen to y'all, so i know they're gonna hand it.
Speaker 1: I'm from New York, You're you're love it, and I've
Speaker 1: been in a relationship with my fan for almost three
Speaker 1: years and we have a four month old. Congratulations to
Speaker 1: you guys. Our sex life has gone through a lot,
Speaker 1: but now it's amazing. That's what I'm talking about, you
Speaker 1: working at it. Only thing is sometimes when we are
Speaker 1: in the moments, I'm imagining scenarios to help get me
Speaker 1: to the big moment, if you know what I mean.
Speaker 1: Don't get me wrong. All the scenarios are with my man.
Speaker 1: For example, I'm imagining him as a cop arresting me,
Speaker 1: or him being just a friend. And we shouldn't be
Speaker 1: doing this basically like porn storylines. Is this wrong? How
Speaker 1: fucking No? It ain't wrong? And should I talk to
Speaker 1: my man about this? Yes, you should talk to my yo.
Speaker 1: What does it mean? I'm not sure if it means
Speaker 1: I'm not being satisfied by him alone. Love you guys?
Speaker 2: Did you have fantasies?
Speaker 1: The thing I like the best is that she said
Speaker 1: she's imagining him a girl. I wish Kay would tell
Speaker 1: me arrest me, arrest me, daddy. I was like, what
Speaker 1: you want me to do? What? I will go to
Speaker 1: the local police department. I will buy a full flo
Speaker 1: I will get a police car. She will be coming
Speaker 1: home from the grocery store. I will pull her ass over,
Speaker 1: sirens and everything. I would hire someone to be my partner.
Speaker 1: I'd be like, Yo, can you grab a put in
Speaker 1: the back seat, and I will fuck the shit out
Speaker 1: of KR in the back seat of that fucking uh
Speaker 1: copcast ya for real. Fact, I would have on the
Speaker 1: cam and everything so I could record it. I will
Speaker 1: go out and then I will recorded it and I
Speaker 1: would have her doing all sorts of wild ship and
Speaker 1: then I will record and I will show it to
Speaker 1: a lady say see what I did for you. So, no,
Speaker 1: you ain't wrong, you are absolutely right. And the fact
Speaker 1: that she said that sex life is amazing, which means
Speaker 1: they are compatible. They are they're doing the right things.
Speaker 1: I love this.
Speaker 2: Yes, it's the scenarios and the role play for me
Speaker 2: because apparently I've been actually in scene study myself because
Speaker 2: I have some stuff that I've been working on for
Speaker 2: the vo. So this is actually so right on time,
Speaker 2: and this is this is the Lord giving me affirmation
Speaker 2: that I'm on the right track about what I was thinking.
Speaker 2: Because it's let me tell you the role play, the
Speaker 2: dressing up. This is on the devows been dying for
Speaker 2: me to do for years, and I was thinking of something.
Speaker 1: Now years, decades, decades.
Speaker 2: I finally think I found a situation and a recipe.
Speaker 2: So I love that somebody else is feeling the same way.
Speaker 2: Have those fantasies about your man, tell him what they are?
Speaker 2: Roll them ship all that.
Speaker 1: Are you talking about my fantasies or you got your
Speaker 1: own fantasies?
Speaker 2: No, I think both of our fantasies. Some are mine
Speaker 2: and some are yours. You ain't tell me no, no, no,
Speaker 2: I want to do for you because the fantasy of
Speaker 2: mine to please you in those ways.
Speaker 1: So yes, I do want to be stopped by a
Speaker 1: lady cop thinking I should day the cab because the
Speaker 1: uniform fit is so tight. D me my rights, cut
Speaker 1: the lights. I had the right to read silent for
Speaker 1: everybody who don't know. That's that's wezy wesy and Bobby
Speaker 1: Valentino like a cop co ya when I.
Speaker 2: Get up, Oh we can see that angels.
Speaker 1: Yeah? Oh man, No, just kind of actually got me.
Speaker 2: Hi, I wish, I wish, Oh my god, I do
Speaker 2: have a cop outfit too, I still got it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you do got a cop outfit? You were once
Speaker 1: in like twenty nineteen. I remember now, it won't fit.
Speaker 1: There's nothing going over that thing you grew back there
Speaker 1: this unless it's the skirt, and then it'll all over
Speaker 1: little booty. Yeah yeah, but it ain't little no more.
Speaker 1: After four.
Speaker 2: You can look forward to some extra weight in certain places.
Speaker 1: Yes, I like that, but nah, but I first of all,
Speaker 1: I think this is dope. This is dope, a girl.
Speaker 1: You would be surprised he would love to get dressed up. Man,
Speaker 1: I'll go down to the fire department. Man, get me
Speaker 1: a fire hose, and I put the house on fire.
Speaker 1: Kate Walker home, Like why the house on fire? Be like,
Speaker 1: shut up, shut up, pull my holes out, skirt all
Speaker 1: over you get this fire out. You know how I'm
Speaker 1: pooring things. Man, It's only one way we can get
Speaker 1: the fire out. I need you to squirt as much
Speaker 1: as you can to get this one. Do you want
Speaker 1: me to squirt on the house, the bus. Do what
Speaker 1: you gotta do, baby, We gotta get the fire right
Speaker 1: out of here.
Speaker 2: I love it. There's so many scenarios coming up. I
Speaker 2: love this, and I love this for you.
Speaker 3: Girl.
Speaker 2: Go ahead and let us know, circle back and let
Speaker 2: us know how he likes it. I'm good for a
Speaker 2: circle back love y'all. We're in the circle back season too.
Speaker 2: Said anything that you any business that was undone or
Speaker 2: unfinished in twenty twenty three. Now is the time to
Speaker 2: circle back for your right y'all. All right, and be
Speaker 2: sure if you haven't circled back yet, slide into our messages.
Speaker 2: We want to listen letters from you.
Speaker 3: Do do this.
Speaker 1: Tell him that you are a naughty school girl and
Speaker 1: you've been a bad girl, and you came to the
Speaker 1: principal's office because you need to get punished.
Speaker 2: He's the principle.
Speaker 1: He's the principal. Put on some glasses, put on a skirt,
Speaker 1: and do all of the things.
Speaker 2: And watch you got some blue light glasses.
Speaker 1: Watch how he gonna be like huh. And then you're
Speaker 1: gonna be like, yeah, I've been naughty, and look at
Speaker 1: Dennis eyes and then roll your shoulders like this and
Speaker 1: go I've been naughty, And then take out a pattern,
Speaker 1: be like, spank me, daddy. I guarantee you he gonna
Speaker 1: be like, yes, ma'am, Yes, ma'am. And then you gonna
Speaker 1: find yourself in a different position. Because when you can
Speaker 1: get a man to use his imagination in the bed
Speaker 1: fucking rap.
Speaker 2: I know he was done with that, but now it
Speaker 2: was making me think, y'all have to see the eyes
Speaker 2: in the body language. For y'all on Patreon, you can
Speaker 2: see it if you're listening. You gott to join Patreon
Speaker 2: to get all the theatrics.
Speaker 1: If y'all knew things that me and Kadeen be doing. Yo,
Speaker 1: I'll be in the living room and then Kadeen will
Speaker 1: just disappear right and then I'll get a text message
Speaker 1: and I'll just look at the text messages and then
Speaker 1: I'm just like, she like what you doing? And I'm like,
Speaker 1: where are you at? And then she'll just be some
Speaker 1: nasty shit that she's just I can't tell y'all because
Speaker 1: I don't want to barrass my wife. Then I go
Speaker 1: back there in that room and she got some outfit
Speaker 1: on and I ain't never seen in Vegas. She had
Speaker 1: a old leather Victorious secret that was five joint and man,
Speaker 1: we were staying in what we sayed in the Encore,
Speaker 1: saying the Encore where we could see the dome the
Speaker 1: new So the light is constantly going to our room.
Speaker 1: So we were using that light as our lights, and
Speaker 1: it was like.
Speaker 2: You know. Time happens in Vegas, that's the fact.
Speaker 1: And whatever happens in Vegas right there stays on my
Speaker 1: phone so I can watch it later.
Speaker 2: God forbid, God forbid. Let me tell y'all, if there's
Speaker 2: a breakout viral moment, it'll be that.
Speaker 1: It'll be that.
Speaker 2: Probably I'd be so popular and so famous after that.
Speaker 2: Forget it, forget it. I'm gonna run that back. Though.
Speaker 2: That's a good thing too about being in your forties
Speaker 2: and being in shape. There's things that you can wear
Speaker 2: now in the bedroom where you feel confident. Let me
Speaker 2: tell you all.
Speaker 1: In the twenties and thirties too, like you was popular,
Speaker 1: but not like.
Speaker 2: In between kids, like I feel like every like once
Speaker 2: I got back after each kid, and I felt more
Speaker 2: confident with like my but like when the strings and
Speaker 2: the and the wires can just like sit and they
Speaker 2: don't be cutting in and you have like all extra
Speaker 2: fat hanging out the side, like when it just lazes
Speaker 2: where it's supposed to lay. You couldn't tell me when
Speaker 2: you like.
Speaker 1: When you're not looking like a pack of busted biscuits.
Speaker 1: You know, when you bust the biscuits on the corner
Speaker 1: table and it'd be like and it'd be like spilling
Speaker 1: out right. So you don't, you don't you didn't like.
Speaker 2: Looking likely for me. No, you know some people with that.
Speaker 1: Some of the best we had was when you was fluffy.
Speaker 3: You was.
Speaker 1: It was right after them kids. That's how cass got here,
Speaker 1: That's how got how calves got here. It was a
Speaker 1: little fluffy, but was.
Speaker 2: Sort of stuff.
Speaker 1: It was fluffy, though, but you wasn't. It was a
Speaker 1: biscuit away, but I was the biscuit. He was the biscuits.
Speaker 1: Biscuit called me the Pillsbury dough boy, the baker that
Speaker 1: biscuit over.
Speaker 2: Bake me a cake as fast as you.
Speaker 1: Put some gravy on that biscuits were so stupid? Can
Speaker 1: you can you? You know what you one of our listeners.
Speaker 1: Let us email us at dead ass Advice at gmail
Speaker 1: dot com.
Speaker 2: That's d E A D A S S A d
Speaker 2: V I C E at gmail dot com.
Speaker 1: A little bit right.
Speaker 2: I love that moment of truth time. Oh my god, y'all,
Speaker 2: moment of truth time.
Speaker 1: I got an easy one. You forty, You fine as fuck.
Speaker 1: You accomplished your mom, You've done everything. Just keep enjoying life,
Speaker 1: move on.
Speaker 2: Thanks next thank you moment of truth for me. I'm
Speaker 2: so thankful to God for forty years on this earth, yes,
Speaker 2: much of which more than half has been with you
Speaker 2: by my side, building and growing together. We have four
Speaker 2: beautiful children. I am just excited about unapologetically being who
Speaker 2: I am from forty on and mad trips. Where are
Speaker 2: we going next?
Speaker 1: You know who? You're gonna be a cop later?
Speaker 2: Lada cat arrest me because the uniform one fit miss
Speaker 2: o tite. All right, y'all, be sure to follow us
Speaker 2: on Patreon if you haven't subscribed yet, now is the
Speaker 2: time to see exclusive dead Ass podcast video along with
Speaker 2: a ton of Ellis content all Decay episodes. I will
Speaker 2: be doing more this year, pulling you guys in to
Speaker 2: all the stuff that I have going on in this
Speaker 2: new year, and you can also find us on social
Speaker 2: media dead Ass the podcast. You can find me at
Speaker 2: Kadeen I Am.
Speaker 1: And I Am Deval And if you're listening on Apple podcasts,
Speaker 1: be sure to rate, review, subscribe, pick up that We
Speaker 1: over Meet book The Counterintuitive Approach to getting Everything you
Speaker 1: want out of your relationship, and make sure you subscribe
Speaker 1: to us on Patreon.
Speaker 2: And if you haven't gotten your tour tickets yet, this
Speaker 2: is going to be the last tour for the foreseeable future, y'all.
Speaker 2: I'm letting y'all know that now we're not sure if
Speaker 2: or when we'll be back on tour. So Dallas, New York, Philly, DC,
Speaker 2: Charlotte and Atlanta. Now is the time. Grab a friend.
Speaker 2: If you live close by to a road trip, make
Speaker 2: it a weekend overnight is Valentine's Day in between. Get
Speaker 2: your tickets now and see us go out with a bang.
Speaker 1: Dead Ass dead Ass is a production of iHeartMedia podcast network,
Speaker 1: and it's produced by Donor Opinia and Triple Follow the
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