Speaker 1: I'm laughing, and I want to make sure I'm getting
Speaker 1: this right. You guys will correct me. But I see
Speaker 1: that there was something online about like someone on Salt
Speaker 1: Lake City. One of the women on Salt Lake City
Speaker 1: correct me if I'm wrong, Meredith wanting to own like
Speaker 1: the bathtub thing like that a hotel has to have bathtubs,
Speaker 1: but that's Teresa's thing. So either people or Teresa was
Speaker 1: saying that that's her thing. And I'm crying. First of all,
Speaker 1: when I go to a hotel for years, it's been
Speaker 1: a requirement that the hotel room has to have a bathtub,
Speaker 1: and I've sometimes forgotten and I get there and there's
Speaker 1: only a shower, and I'm really disappointed, Like I kind
Speaker 1: of want to move rooms because I like to take
Speaker 1: a bath, particularly like you're relaxing, you're about to do
Speaker 1: an appearance, you're in a different city. You want to
Speaker 1: put your hair up in a clip, not get your
Speaker 1: hair wet, and take a relaxing bath. I am a
Speaker 1: big bather, and some people are freaked out by bathers.
Speaker 1: I'm a bather. People freaked out Which're like in your
Speaker 1: own water, And then people say you have like rent
Speaker 1: out before after I'm a bather, and I just got
Speaker 1: a new apartment in New York City that has two
Speaker 1: and a half bathrooms. But the bathroom in my bedroom
Speaker 1: only has a shower, a gorgeous, stunning shower, but doesn't
Speaker 1: have a bathtub, which drives me nuts because I have
Speaker 1: to go into the other room, which is like a
Speaker 1: flex room, but it's really my daughter's room when we're there,
Speaker 1: and so now I'm having to go into that room
Speaker 1: to take a bath. But I'm laughing because like people
Speaker 1: or Teresa, you know, want to like own the bathtub thing,
Speaker 1: which is like a lot of people in the world
Speaker 1: want to go to a hotel and take a bath.
Speaker 1: And it's reminding me of back when I was on Housewives,
Speaker 1: when I read skinny girl red was a thing and
Speaker 1: people used to wear red. I used to tell them
Speaker 1: to wear red to the signings. They used to come
Speaker 1: to my signings and everybody would be wearing red and
Speaker 1: it was like a tone of red and it was
Speaker 1: skinny girl red and like I owned the color red,
Speaker 1: which is because I didn't own the color red, but
Speaker 1: like I, it was skinny girl red. So then years
Speaker 1: later Ramona copied that and would wear this color blue,
Speaker 1: like wear this dress blue or have things that were blue,
Speaker 1: and she'd like call it blue, but if someone else
Speaker 1: wore the color, she would say, like, there, it's my thing.
Speaker 1: It's Ramona blue. And it just makes me laugh because
Speaker 1: it's so stupid and it's so housewives to like care
Speaker 1: about a color and care about a bathtub and care
Speaker 1: about owning something that's so dumb and doesn't matter. And
Speaker 1: it's like housewives want to own everything. They want to
Speaker 1: own a trip, like we're going away and you know,
Speaker 1: and we're going to Jamaica and it's this gorgeous house
Speaker 1: and housewives will club each other for it to be
Speaker 1: like their house. It was a big fight between Romona
Speaker 1: and Derinda on this Miami trip because Ramona was like
Speaker 1: owning the trip and she knew someone who knew someone
Speaker 1: whose house it was. But all of this is bullshit
Speaker 1: because the producers found the house, but like they know
Speaker 1: the name of the guy whose house it is, and
Speaker 1: I guess like someone happened to know the guy, so
Speaker 1: then that person is like, well wait a second, I
Speaker 1: know them, or like it was us going to the
Speaker 1: Mayflower this place in Connecticut for Luan's like post rehab
Speaker 1: trip when she got out after she got arrested, and
Speaker 1: like I had suggested it, but I guess Derenda also
Speaker 1: suggested it, or she suggested it first, or she had
Speaker 1: been there before, or like who fucking cares? Like what's
Speaker 1: wrong with us? What's wrong with people? Like who fucking
Speaker 1: ca who cares? What viewer gives a shit? That is
Speaker 1: Derenda gonna get an extra prize? I went there one time,
Speaker 1: I like, got a massage there. Now I own the
Speaker 1: fucking place, Mayflower like who cares? Like I It's like
Speaker 1: so insecure. I've want to own something that doesn't matter
Speaker 1: that you don't really own. Well, no, I know my friend,
Speaker 1: my friend's cousin went there one time. I got a massage,
Speaker 1: so it was my idea. It's like everyone wants the
Speaker 1: credit for something that literally doesn't matter and it doesn't
Speaker 1: matter what it is. It's like Vicky wants the credit
Speaker 1: for being the first one of the first series. You know,
Speaker 1: I was an og Sonya. It drives Sonya nuts that
Speaker 1: she wasn't an og because she didn't come till the
Speaker 1: second season or maybe and then Kelly came in the
Speaker 1: third season. But like they want to pretend that they're OG's,
Speaker 1: but like who cares? Who cares? Portia was an iconic housewife,
Speaker 1: so is Phador. They weren't OG's. Brandy was a good housewife,
Speaker 1: Like it doesn't matter. It's so incredibly stupid. Erica Jane
Speaker 1: is like a diva housewife. She wasn't an OG. What
Speaker 1: is it? Tamera? But like it bothers them that they
Speaker 1: weren't an original OG. It's like so incredibly stupid, the
Speaker 1: things that people want to lift their dog legs and
Speaker 1: urinate over because they don't matter. So owning a color,
Speaker 1: owning a spa, owning a trip, owning the housewives, you know,
Speaker 1: Nini was one of the originals. Like none of this
Speaker 1: stupid stuff matters. And that's so housewives for everyone to
Speaker 1: care about things that don't matter. Speaking of houswise, I
Speaker 1: saw Sonya a couple of nights ago at Ryan Murphy's
Speaker 1: screening slash premiere of his show coming out on FX
Speaker 1: and Hulu called Feud Capodi Versus the Swans. Diane Lane
Speaker 1: is in it, Chloe seven Ye, Demi Moore, Callista Flockhart.
Speaker 1: I think Emma Roberts is in it. I saw her
Speaker 1: at the premiere it is amazing this thing. So Ryan
Speaker 1: Murphy has for his shows over fifty Emmys combined, three
Speaker 1: hundred nominations. He is such a legend, so iconic, and
Speaker 1: he's produced this show. I went to the first premiere
Speaker 1: years ago for the Feud and Jessica Lang and Susan
Speaker 1: Sarandon were in that one, and it was like over
Speaker 1: the iconic and true feud between I think it was
Speaker 1: Betty Davis and I forget who fade done away? And
Speaker 1: now this is like a different generation of socialites, like
Speaker 1: the true Social Lights, the original Social Lights, the Babe Paley,
Speaker 1: the rich rich women in the fifties, sixties, seventies, and
Speaker 1: Truman Capodi and like it's so genuine, it's so Rian Murphy.
Speaker 1: So he I see this invitation to this black and
Speaker 1: white ball after this screening, and I show up in
Speaker 1: this dress that I've had in my closet for years,
Speaker 1: this velvet shoulder pad powerful that when was I ever
Speaker 1: gonna wear it as a slit up to the thigh.
Speaker 1: It's velvet, it's got cuffs, it's got a dramatic shoulder,
Speaker 1: it's got crystals on it. Like I literally bought it
Speaker 1: thinking there's never gonna be a place to wear this
Speaker 1: insane dress, and this easily five six years later was
Speaker 1: the place. It's such a dramatic Joan Collins Dynasty dress,
Speaker 1: and I wore it and I stuck the landing on
Speaker 1: the glam and I walk in and the first people
Speaker 1: I see are DJ Quintero, who cut my hair short
Speaker 1: years ago. Does Katie Holmes' hair was there to me
Speaker 1: that night doing her hair, and her team was deep.
Speaker 1: I'm my own stylist, you know, my own fashion stylist,
Speaker 1: but this is Deme Moore's team. DJ on hair, Christopher
Speaker 1: Buckle on glam, Brad Goreski on wardrobe, and she stuck
Speaker 1: the landing. Her dress was so extraordinary, her look was
Speaker 1: so extraordinary. Then we move into me seeing Mark Jacobs
Speaker 1: telling him his makeup brush, which they no longer make,
Speaker 1: but he said he'll bring back is the best foundation
Speaker 1: brush ever made. Then moving into seeing Zach Posen, and
Speaker 1: then Kevin Euvane and Brian Lord, who run Hollywood. They
Speaker 1: own CIA. They are power gays and they represent Ryan
Speaker 1: Murphy and like they represent Meryl Streep and Diane Lane
Speaker 1: and Julia Roberts and you know, Kevin cold called Oprah
Speaker 1: years ago represented her for years. Sarah Jessica Parker like
Speaker 1: Ellen DeGeneres's business manager. He was there, Brandon Flynn, who
Speaker 1: sat behind me, and the screening, he was, of anybody here,
Speaker 1: there's no one I could ask and want to sit
Speaker 1: next to more than you, And like that was happening,
Speaker 1: and Gus Vancent directed and then I see, of course,
Speaker 1: I see Sonya as Leane likes to call her in
Speaker 1: a crown, and I'm like, she's here. It was amazing,
Speaker 1: and I had such a good time. It was worth
Speaker 1: leaving the house. I'd never want to go to anything.
Speaker 1: And I said to Ryan, only you could get me out,
Speaker 1: Like only you, I never want to go to anything.
Speaker 1: And the post party was at the plaza. Everybody dressed
Speaker 1: in black and white. Naomi Watts looked amazing. I didn't
Speaker 1: even know she was married to Billy Croudup, did not
Speaker 1: know that happened. She her kids went to the same
Speaker 1: school as Brynn, and I used to see her in
Speaker 1: Liev Molly Ringwald amazing, give me a giant, warm smile,
Speaker 1: took a photo, got in, like walked into a photo
Speaker 1: that I was in, Like I was in with these
Speaker 1: four drag queens in the middle of the dance floor
Speaker 1: in my slit, and one of them had a matching slit,
Speaker 1: so my slit was I think, on the left and
Speaker 1: hers was on the right, or vice versa. But these
Speaker 1: big drag queens dressed in like full like socialite clutching
Speaker 1: your pearls Audrey Hepburn type dresses. They were there and
Speaker 1: I took a picture with them. I was right in
Speaker 1: the middle of the picture holding my round oscar To
Speaker 1: lorent bag designed by Fernando Garcia that he gave me. Gave,
Speaker 1: didn't lend because I'm not one who wants to be
Speaker 1: lent anything. I want to buy it or I want
Speaker 1: you to give it to me. Those are the choices.
Speaker 1: I'm not interested in borrowing. It's degrading. I'm not giving
Speaker 1: it back, you send it. I'm keeping it, or I'm
Speaker 1: buying it. Those are our choices. With the exception of Fernando,
Speaker 1: I was at the last minute crunch and I borrowed
Speaker 1: a red dress for an MTV Award thing. But like,
Speaker 1: I'm keeping it and I'm not even gonna wear it.
Speaker 1: I just want to look at it, or the option.
Speaker 1: I'd like the option to keep So anyway, I had
Speaker 1: my round clutch that Fernando gave me for the Emmys
Speaker 1: years ago, and I had an Alex Perry dress on
Speaker 1: for the Emmys years ago that he gave me. And
Speaker 1: at this event the ball Man gown I bought like
Speaker 1: ninety percent off six years ago. So I'm in the
Speaker 1: middle holding this ball drag queens all around me, and
Speaker 1: Molly Ringwold steps into the picture like I want to
Speaker 1: be in this picture, and like she like knew who
Speaker 1: I was. You could tell she was like kind of
Speaker 1: giving it to me. And Deborah Harry same thing, gave
Speaker 1: it to me. So I know Blondie's the band and
Speaker 1: it's Deborah Harry, but like Deborah Harry, me, Molly Ringwold,
Speaker 1: and four drag queens in one photo. That's the microphone.
Speaker 1: It just dropped. What more could I want in my life?
Speaker 1: What more could I want in my life than to
Speaker 1: me in a picture with Molly Ringwold, Deborah Harry and
Speaker 1: four drag queens? What else could I want? Enough? Dig
Speaker 1: the I mean, with the exception of needing to be
Speaker 1: here for my daughter, dig the goddamn hole. Put me
Speaker 1: in the box. We're done. Ryan Murphy premier Christopher Buckle
Speaker 1: brag Goreski. I mean, you know, Zach posed in it.
Speaker 1: And then I see Sonia and I did a TikTok
Speaker 1: with Sonya. Why because it's iconic and I love to
Speaker 1: do iconic shit. It was so fun, And she's like
Speaker 1: telling me the same story over and over about the
Speaker 1: trip that I don't know about, like the Housewives trip
Speaker 1: they all went on, and she talked about me and
Speaker 1: you know, that whole story on a loop and loved
Speaker 1: Sonia and loved to run into her and her daughter's
Speaker 1: doing well and living in la and has a great
Speaker 1: job and all's well over there. In other unrelated Housewives news,
Speaker 1: Lyssa vander Pump is disappointed and Raquel for sharing her
Speaker 1: post Scanda All story on my podcast Crime a River.
Speaker 1: Where was she going to share her story at Pump
Speaker 1: over some rose that she's recovered from and trauma? I
Speaker 1: don't think so. Sorry, not sorry, We're still all bitter
Speaker 1: that Raquel months ago came on my podcast and is
Speaker 1: thrilled she did that was like the epic epic example
Speaker 1: of jealousy, Like that guy club Shay who had on
Speaker 1: Kat Williams. That comedian was saying, like people got so
Speaker 1: upset and jealous, not because of the story, but because
Speaker 1: they shared it on his podcast, which wasn't like, you know,
Speaker 1: hadn't blown up like that. And it's the same thing
Speaker 1: that people are still bitter that Raquel came over to
Speaker 1: my podcast, which she's still thrilled about. Like I'm thrilled,
Speaker 1: ihearts thrilled, Raquel's thrilled. Lisa vander Pump not thrilled, will
Speaker 1: take it. We're all good, and I like Lisa, and
Speaker 1: Lisa's what you know, great, enjoy your success, enjoy your life,
Speaker 1: enjoy your bar, enjoy your show's enjoy Bravo. All good,
Speaker 1: but like we're all okay that you're disappointed. We're fine
Speaker 1: with it because we are appointed and thrilled