1 00:00:02,320 --> 00:00:04,760 Speaker 1: I'm a homegrowd that knows a little bit about everything 2 00:00:04,840 --> 00:00:09,760 Speaker 1: and everybody you don't know if you don't lie about that. Right, Hey, y'all, 3 00:00:09,760 --> 00:00:10,240 Speaker 1: what's up. 4 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:13,560 Speaker 2: It's Lauren l Rosa and this is the latest with 5 00:00:13,640 --> 00:00:16,120 Speaker 2: Laura L Rosa. This is your DELI dig on all 6 00:00:16,160 --> 00:00:20,400 Speaker 2: things pop culture, entertainment, news, and all of the conversations 7 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:21,600 Speaker 2: that shake the room. 8 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:22,079 Speaker 1: Baby. 9 00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:26,000 Speaker 2: Now, today we are going to dive into an article. 10 00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:27,160 Speaker 1: That was honestly just released. 11 00:00:27,480 --> 00:00:30,560 Speaker 2: As I was heading here to the podcast, I saw 12 00:00:30,600 --> 00:00:33,360 Speaker 2: that this article was released and a major announcement about 13 00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:36,200 Speaker 2: this celebrity was released. So we're going to get into 14 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:38,879 Speaker 2: all things nia Along today. And for those of you, 15 00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:41,920 Speaker 2: I mean, if you're listening to this podcast, I don't 16 00:00:41,960 --> 00:00:44,600 Speaker 2: know how you would be unfamiliar with nia Along. But 17 00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:47,680 Speaker 2: for those of you who are unfamiliar with nil honestly, 18 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:49,040 Speaker 2: I don't even want to do that because if you 19 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:51,160 Speaker 2: listen to this podcast and you're familiar with ni Along, 20 00:00:51,240 --> 00:00:52,920 Speaker 2: the rock you live under is not my problem. 21 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:57,520 Speaker 1: We are not going to do that today. So nia Along, you. 22 00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:03,240 Speaker 2: Know, actress, you know, just man like nia Along is 23 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:07,039 Speaker 2: literally when I think I just saying actress to me 24 00:01:07,280 --> 00:01:09,559 Speaker 2: is a is an underscore is an undersell. I think 25 00:01:10,040 --> 00:01:12,560 Speaker 2: when you talk about Nia Long and what her career 26 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:15,760 Speaker 2: has been, Nia Long has been. I'll just speak for 27 00:01:15,800 --> 00:01:18,720 Speaker 2: me personally, like she is an actress, and you know, 28 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:23,080 Speaker 2: I visually when I say actress, see all of the 29 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:26,560 Speaker 2: roles that she has played on camera, from Boys in 30 00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:30,520 Speaker 2: the Hood to I mean even even like recent things 31 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:34,880 Speaker 2: she's done, Like you know, there's a movie I forget 32 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:39,240 Speaker 2: what is it called. It's it's about uh. I only 33 00:01:39,319 --> 00:01:41,679 Speaker 2: remember her name in the movie CC Bloom because my 34 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:44,240 Speaker 2: best friend Sierra that's what her family calls her. 35 00:01:44,280 --> 00:01:46,000 Speaker 1: Hold on one second Beaches. 36 00:01:46,200 --> 00:01:50,240 Speaker 2: Yes, so from Boys in the Hood to I mean 37 00:01:50,320 --> 00:01:53,320 Speaker 2: fresh Prince of bel Air and of course Love Jones. 38 00:01:53,320 --> 00:01:55,600 Speaker 1: I mean it's Nia Along like Love Jones. 39 00:01:55,840 --> 00:02:00,520 Speaker 2: Like I just I literally just watched Beaches again on Netflix. 40 00:02:00,840 --> 00:02:03,400 Speaker 1: Ne Along remade the ninety I. 41 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:05,800 Speaker 2: Think it was an eighty film, the eighty film Beaches, 42 00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:10,720 Speaker 2: and she played CC Boom in the film. But I mean, 43 00:02:10,800 --> 00:02:18,200 Speaker 2: I just think of her as a nineties culture like architect, 44 00:02:18,960 --> 00:02:21,799 Speaker 2: and I feel like with Neil Long and she talks 45 00:02:21,800 --> 00:02:25,000 Speaker 2: about it, We're going to get into an interview that 46 00:02:25,040 --> 00:02:28,720 Speaker 2: she did for The Cut magazine and the headline of 47 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:32,040 Speaker 2: the article says, ne Along isn't romanticized in the past. 48 00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:34,520 Speaker 2: She'd rather live in the moment and lift up the 49 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:38,519 Speaker 2: next generation in Hollywood. And you know, I just think 50 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:43,440 Speaker 2: about everything that Nia Long like stood for right as 51 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:46,639 Speaker 2: a black woman in television, just a woman, a powerful, 52 00:02:46,680 --> 00:02:51,320 Speaker 2: beautiful but like sexy, not afraid to say how she 53 00:02:51,360 --> 00:02:55,880 Speaker 2: feels and show a powerful woman in Hollywood. For me, 54 00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:58,919 Speaker 2: just watching her and I think about, you know, down 55 00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:01,840 Speaker 2: to They just announced that she is going to be 56 00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:06,200 Speaker 2: Este Lauder's first ever an ambassador for North America exclusively, 57 00:03:06,400 --> 00:03:09,400 Speaker 2: which means she'll get to do like TV deals and 58 00:03:09,680 --> 00:03:12,720 Speaker 2: her TV campaigns and digital campaigns and all the things 59 00:03:13,040 --> 00:03:13,639 Speaker 2: for the brand. 60 00:03:13,720 --> 00:03:17,160 Speaker 1: But I'm like, duh, Like Nia Long not only is. 61 00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:19,840 Speaker 2: A person that I watched on camera because she was 62 00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:23,160 Speaker 2: great at playing these characters in these roles and storytelling 63 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:25,960 Speaker 2: and really just being the girl, you know, the girl 64 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:28,160 Speaker 2: next door and the girl from around the way who 65 00:03:28,280 --> 00:03:29,160 Speaker 2: was so smart. 66 00:03:29,520 --> 00:03:30,880 Speaker 1: You know, I remember boys in the hood. 67 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:32,600 Speaker 2: I always thought that it was so fire that like 68 00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:35,360 Speaker 2: she was the girl that was like beautiful and she 69 00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:38,400 Speaker 2: was like there and she's around, but she's headed to 70 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:40,520 Speaker 2: college and her head is on straight and she's fly 71 00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:43,760 Speaker 2: and she's sexy, and you know, I think for a 72 00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:45,800 Speaker 2: lot of us, you know, for me as a black 73 00:03:45,840 --> 00:03:48,280 Speaker 2: woman looking at that on TV, it was like, okay, cool, 74 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:50,800 Speaker 2: Like I'm growing up as a girl around the way, 75 00:03:50,880 --> 00:03:53,960 Speaker 2: but there's more to just my neighborhood. But it's also 76 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:57,800 Speaker 2: okay for me to still be very intertwined and indulged 77 00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:00,560 Speaker 2: and engulfed in my neighborhood. But when it's and set away, 78 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:03,360 Speaker 2: it's time to step away. But also just being I mean, 79 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:07,520 Speaker 2: I don't know her beauty. To me, I'm like, duh 80 00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:10,720 Speaker 2: at Stay Louder and whoever else cover girl, all the brands, right, 81 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:13,720 Speaker 2: But that came out today as well. So she did 82 00:04:13,720 --> 00:04:16,159 Speaker 2: this interview with The Cut and they talk about, you 83 00:04:16,200 --> 00:04:19,440 Speaker 2: know her and everything she's doing with Esday Louder, but 84 00:04:19,480 --> 00:04:23,400 Speaker 2: then they also get into just what being a woman 85 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:24,760 Speaker 2: in her role. 86 00:04:25,160 --> 00:04:26,479 Speaker 1: Has meant for her. 87 00:04:27,080 --> 00:04:29,320 Speaker 2: So she's speaking with The Cut and they just starn't 88 00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:30,520 Speaker 2: really getting into her life. 89 00:04:30,520 --> 00:04:32,279 Speaker 1: And one of the things that is starting. 90 00:04:31,880 --> 00:04:36,960 Speaker 2: To go superviral already is one of the quotes from 91 00:04:37,279 --> 00:04:39,880 Speaker 2: a part of the interview. So this part of the 92 00:04:39,920 --> 00:04:43,400 Speaker 2: interview they're talking to today along about balancing work and love, 93 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:45,760 Speaker 2: and she says, I don't think there's ever been a 94 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:47,640 Speaker 2: time in my life where I was willing to give 95 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:51,960 Speaker 2: up my life to be someone's wife or girlfriend ever period. 96 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:54,480 Speaker 2: And then she laughs. She says, I don't care how 97 00:04:54,480 --> 00:04:57,720 Speaker 2: difficult the journey has been. I think you can have both. 98 00:04:57,760 --> 00:05:00,360 Speaker 2: And she's talking about the love and the career, which 99 00:05:00,360 --> 00:05:05,200 Speaker 2: has always been a conversation, especially you know, I mean 100 00:05:05,279 --> 00:05:06,719 Speaker 2: ni Al Long has been in this game for a 101 00:05:06,760 --> 00:05:09,600 Speaker 2: long time. Lean Long has kids. Nia Long has been 102 00:05:09,640 --> 00:05:13,080 Speaker 2: in a very public, you know, situation where her partner, 103 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:16,719 Speaker 2: I May, I May. I'm probably saying his name wrong. 104 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:19,440 Speaker 2: I May, who was coaching for the Celtics, you know, 105 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:21,880 Speaker 2: at the time when all this stuff was going down 106 00:05:21,960 --> 00:05:25,760 Speaker 2: and there was the cheating allegations, and Neil Long like publicly, 107 00:05:26,200 --> 00:05:28,320 Speaker 2: that's like finding out you got cheated cheated on when 108 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:30,560 Speaker 2: you at work and it's like it's nothing you can 109 00:05:30,560 --> 00:05:31,800 Speaker 2: do because you got to finish the shift. 110 00:05:31,839 --> 00:05:33,400 Speaker 1: But she's so pissed and your heart is broken. 111 00:05:33,760 --> 00:05:36,640 Speaker 2: Nia Long would do some things publicly with her youngest 112 00:05:36,640 --> 00:05:37,440 Speaker 2: son's father. 113 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:39,920 Speaker 1: She has two sons. Her youngest son's father. 114 00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:44,440 Speaker 2: I May, I believe it's I May I may, I may, 115 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:48,680 Speaker 2: I may. If I'm saying it wrong, I apologize. I 116 00:05:48,720 --> 00:05:51,280 Speaker 2: say a lot of people's names wrong, My bad. 117 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,520 Speaker 1: So okay, my bad. But yeah, so she's been doing 118 00:05:54,560 --> 00:05:55,280 Speaker 1: a lot publicly. 119 00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:58,960 Speaker 2: But you know, even before that, she had the career, 120 00:05:59,160 --> 00:06:02,080 Speaker 2: she had the husban, been, she had the family, all 121 00:06:02,080 --> 00:06:03,920 Speaker 2: of the things. And she says, I never wanted to 122 00:06:03,960 --> 00:06:06,440 Speaker 2: wake up in my thirties and forties and say, well, 123 00:06:06,800 --> 00:06:09,280 Speaker 2: what is the value of my life? She says, Now, 124 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:11,280 Speaker 2: don't get me wrong, I my are women who are 125 00:06:11,279 --> 00:06:14,120 Speaker 2: committed to being stay at home wives and running a 126 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:17,200 Speaker 2: house and raising the children. That's a job. But I 127 00:06:17,279 --> 00:06:19,520 Speaker 2: also know that those children grow up, and when they 128 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:22,560 Speaker 2: grow up, whether you're working, whether you're a working mom, 129 00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:24,440 Speaker 2: a single mom, or stay at home mom, there's a 130 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:27,560 Speaker 2: moment that every woman feels like, Okay, now it's time 131 00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:29,880 Speaker 2: to recreate who I am. Now it's time to tap 132 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:33,159 Speaker 2: into my passion because there's so much pouring out. 133 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:34,440 Speaker 1: It's like to give or take. 134 00:06:34,440 --> 00:06:36,800 Speaker 2: It's basically like, okay, now your cup is empty and 135 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:37,719 Speaker 2: you got to refiel it. 136 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:39,320 Speaker 1: So you got to give back somewhere. 137 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,920 Speaker 2: She says, I just have never been willing to give 138 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:44,440 Speaker 2: up my career and my dreams and my aspirations for 139 00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:47,160 Speaker 2: a man. I think it's beautiful to have a partnership, 140 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:49,080 Speaker 2: but I don't need to be taken care of. It's 141 00:06:49,160 --> 00:06:50,719 Speaker 2: nice to be treated, it's nice for a man to 142 00:06:50,760 --> 00:06:53,920 Speaker 2: financially be giving. I love all of that. I'm here 143 00:06:53,960 --> 00:06:57,760 Speaker 2: for all of that, and it's actually like a prerequisit right, Yes, girl, 144 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,360 Speaker 2: I am. That's one of the biggest things I'm learning. 145 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:03,799 Speaker 2: It's nothing wrong with that being a prerequisite. The twenty 146 00:07:03,880 --> 00:07:06,200 Speaker 2: twenty five and this whole list of where people won't 147 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:07,440 Speaker 2: eat and will eat on the date. 148 00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,080 Speaker 1: I ain't going to a chain restaurant. 149 00:07:09,120 --> 00:07:11,920 Speaker 2: All that will make you feel like having prerequisites or 150 00:07:11,960 --> 00:07:14,520 Speaker 2: things that you want when it comes to finances is 151 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:17,120 Speaker 2: a bad thing as a woman, which is crazy to me. 152 00:07:17,560 --> 00:07:19,520 Speaker 2: You don't got to be you know. I'm not the 153 00:07:19,520 --> 00:07:21,480 Speaker 2: type that's like if my men don't. 154 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:22,480 Speaker 1: Or can't, I won't. 155 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:25,120 Speaker 2: But you do want it, and I want to be 156 00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:26,520 Speaker 2: honest about the fact that I want that, So I 157 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:29,840 Speaker 2: love the Neolong said that. Here she says, you got 158 00:07:29,880 --> 00:07:33,120 Speaker 2: to come with all the presents, she laughs, the offerings, 159 00:07:33,160 --> 00:07:35,960 Speaker 2: The surprise is the trips. That's the icing on the cake. 160 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:38,120 Speaker 2: That's where I get to be soft. That's where I 161 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,480 Speaker 2: get to be a girl's girl. I'm sorry, That's where 162 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:43,840 Speaker 2: I get to be a girly girl. Felt feltic. So 163 00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:47,360 Speaker 2: when I think about Neolong and I think about, you know, 164 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:51,600 Speaker 2: since the nineties, how long Neolong has been in this 165 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:54,960 Speaker 2: industry and been relevant in this industry. I mean, the 166 00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:56,720 Speaker 2: minute I think about ni Along, I think about the 167 00:07:56,760 --> 00:08:00,000 Speaker 2: line short hair like Neolon, like her beauty has been 168 00:08:00,120 --> 00:08:04,360 Speaker 2: focus short hair, night like ne Along. People think of nineties, 169 00:08:04,480 --> 00:08:08,760 Speaker 2: you know, beautiful brown skin, brown lip, brown glass, soul food, 170 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:13,520 Speaker 2: love Jones, the flipped up Bob. Anytime I do short hair, 171 00:08:13,680 --> 00:08:18,080 Speaker 2: brown lip, it's all even my shirt today, my shirt today. 172 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:19,160 Speaker 2: I don't know if you guys can see it well 173 00:08:19,160 --> 00:08:22,320 Speaker 2: because I'm sitting down, but it's very much na Along 174 00:08:22,480 --> 00:08:23,440 Speaker 2: soul Food inspired. 175 00:08:23,480 --> 00:08:24,840 Speaker 1: When I put this on today, I was like, oh, 176 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:25,120 Speaker 1: I just. 177 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:28,200 Speaker 2: Want to do brown lip, natural glow vibes very much 178 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:29,280 Speaker 2: reminiscent of ne Along. 179 00:08:29,840 --> 00:08:33,800 Speaker 1: Always an inspo. But it's not just about her look. 180 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:36,560 Speaker 2: I think it's always for a lot of us, you know, 181 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:38,840 Speaker 2: women that are trying to figure this out. 182 00:08:39,840 --> 00:08:42,679 Speaker 1: We model and or we model and we look at 183 00:08:42,720 --> 00:08:43,640 Speaker 1: women who. 184 00:08:44,600 --> 00:08:46,240 Speaker 2: Seem like they have it all figured out, And I say, 185 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:47,920 Speaker 2: I say it seem like not as a knock to 186 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:50,160 Speaker 2: what Neilong may have or may not have figured out. 187 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:53,000 Speaker 2: But you know, I just know people always say I 188 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,560 Speaker 2: look like I haven't figured out, but I don't not 189 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,000 Speaker 2: about me. But like she would probably I'm assuming she 190 00:08:57,000 --> 00:09:00,240 Speaker 2: would probably say that because everybody, and she said in 191 00:09:00,280 --> 00:09:02,480 Speaker 2: this article when she talks about co parents and having 192 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:05,920 Speaker 2: to figure out her situation after that very public separation 193 00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:08,600 Speaker 2: that we talked about, nobody has it all figured out, 194 00:09:08,600 --> 00:09:11,359 Speaker 2: but eventually you get to a place of peace and understanding. 195 00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:13,480 Speaker 2: And for n a long and looking at her career 196 00:09:13,640 --> 00:09:15,280 Speaker 2: in the way that people have regarded her as a 197 00:09:15,320 --> 00:09:17,160 Speaker 2: nineties beauty and all the. 198 00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:19,960 Speaker 1: Things that's something to aspire to. 199 00:09:20,160 --> 00:09:22,720 Speaker 2: I think the way that people talk about you, in 200 00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:27,120 Speaker 2: my opinion, in this industry carries you in how you 201 00:09:27,280 --> 00:09:29,960 Speaker 2: are or how you are perceived when you walk in 202 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:31,960 Speaker 2: before you're able to open your mouth and do so. 203 00:09:32,640 --> 00:09:35,200 Speaker 2: And I think, if you know nothing else about Nia Long, 204 00:09:35,280 --> 00:09:37,199 Speaker 2: you know she is gorgeous. You know she has had 205 00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:39,800 Speaker 2: some of the most iconic roles. She's been one of 206 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:44,840 Speaker 2: the most impactful and iconic black faces actress wise, you 207 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:47,600 Speaker 2: know since the nineties, and you know that there are 208 00:09:47,679 --> 00:09:51,200 Speaker 2: generations of women, especially US brown skinned girls that have 209 00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,800 Speaker 2: looked at nia Along for inspo. So we're we're not 210 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,160 Speaker 2: just doing it because of beauty. It's like, Okay, she 211 00:09:56,280 --> 00:10:00,280 Speaker 2: getting money, she looks good. The family unit is, they're 212 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:02,679 Speaker 2: just all the things. And I think we saw a 213 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:07,720 Speaker 2: lot of how people regard Nia Long when the situation 214 00:10:07,920 --> 00:10:12,320 Speaker 2: with her ex in, her child's father, her youngest child's father, happened. 215 00:10:12,760 --> 00:10:16,920 Speaker 2: Because when everything came out, you know about the allegations 216 00:10:16,920 --> 00:10:19,960 Speaker 2: that were being thrown his way, and in real time, 217 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:24,000 Speaker 2: Nia Long was being put in conversations of what was 218 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:26,920 Speaker 2: done to her and her relationship as far as you know, 219 00:10:27,240 --> 00:10:31,280 Speaker 2: his infidelity, his alleged infidelity. The world came out swinging 220 00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:33,320 Speaker 2: like don't play with her like that. We not don't 221 00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,960 Speaker 2: play with our girl like that. And also Nia Long 222 00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:38,240 Speaker 2: has talked about I remember she did to sit down 223 00:10:38,240 --> 00:10:42,040 Speaker 2: with Jeezi and she talked about how she didn't feel 224 00:10:42,040 --> 00:10:45,240 Speaker 2: protected in that situation and not by us. Because again 225 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,720 Speaker 2: we the people came out swinging for n Along, like 226 00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:52,280 Speaker 2: why is this even a public conversation, Why is this 227 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:57,320 Speaker 2: being leaked to press into media at all, but she 228 00:10:57,440 --> 00:11:01,040 Speaker 2: said she felt she didn't feel protect or that the 229 00:11:01,120 --> 00:11:04,440 Speaker 2: necessary steps were taken by the organization he was working 230 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:07,240 Speaker 2: with at the time and just people involved to protect 231 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:10,720 Speaker 2: her in their situation in the the you know, the 232 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:12,480 Speaker 2: fact that a lot of this should have remained anonymous, 233 00:11:12,520 --> 00:11:25,280 Speaker 2: But we move on. She also talks about co parenting 234 00:11:25,320 --> 00:11:27,760 Speaker 2: in this article. And to my surprise, because I'm be 235 00:11:27,840 --> 00:11:30,480 Speaker 2: honest with y'all, if I was knee along and I 236 00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:30,880 Speaker 2: had to go. 237 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:31,839 Speaker 1: Through what she had to go through. 238 00:11:31,840 --> 00:11:34,520 Speaker 2: Because she's a public figure and this was you know 239 00:11:34,960 --> 00:11:38,600 Speaker 2: you're talking about. You know, he's a coach for the 240 00:11:38,640 --> 00:11:41,439 Speaker 2: Celtics at the time, and it's a very high profile situation, 241 00:11:42,120 --> 00:11:44,760 Speaker 2: it would be a bit hard for me to figure 242 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,600 Speaker 2: out co parenting in the way she's describing in this article. 243 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,839 Speaker 2: I get it, they have kids and they gotta figure 244 00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:51,000 Speaker 2: it out, but I. 245 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:53,000 Speaker 1: Think I don't know. 246 00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:55,280 Speaker 2: There would just be a level of hurt and distrust 247 00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:57,200 Speaker 2: that I don't know I would be able to as 248 00:11:57,240 --> 00:11:59,400 Speaker 2: easily get over. But maybe it's different when you got kids. 249 00:11:59,400 --> 00:12:02,480 Speaker 2: I don't have kids, Yeah, but she says. Neilong says, 250 00:12:02,520 --> 00:12:05,160 Speaker 2: this summer I travel with my youngest son and my ex. 251 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:07,040 Speaker 1: Emay, we had a great time. 252 00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:08,200 Speaker 2: And that's what I mean by I don't know if 253 00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:09,640 Speaker 2: I could get to this point where yall are seeing 254 00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:12,240 Speaker 2: us out in public traveling together. You know, we've shown 255 00:12:12,320 --> 00:12:16,320 Speaker 2: up at like basketball, soccer ball, soccer ball, basketball soccer 256 00:12:16,360 --> 00:12:17,080 Speaker 2: games together. 257 00:12:17,320 --> 00:12:18,280 Speaker 1: That's one thing. 258 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:21,320 Speaker 2: That's easy to say, Okay, they're both here because of 259 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:25,120 Speaker 2: like whatever, but traveling on trips together. Her kid can 260 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:28,280 Speaker 2: easily go with his father and take that same trip. 261 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:30,600 Speaker 2: It's a very big step for you guys to be 262 00:12:30,640 --> 00:12:33,480 Speaker 2: doing that together, she says. This summer, I travel with 263 00:12:33,520 --> 00:12:36,400 Speaker 2: my youngest son and my ex. We had a great time. 264 00:12:36,559 --> 00:12:38,960 Speaker 2: I've never walked that much in my life, but it 265 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:42,160 Speaker 2: was really beautiful because we've had a very public journey 266 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:45,840 Speaker 2: that has found its way to peace and understanding, and 267 00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:47,800 Speaker 2: there's a lot of mutual respect that we have for 268 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:50,760 Speaker 2: each other. The most important gift you can give your 269 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:51,520 Speaker 2: kids is to. 270 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:52,160 Speaker 1: Heal your trauma. 271 00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:54,040 Speaker 2: And that's what I mean by Look, I don't have kids, 272 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,360 Speaker 2: so me right now, I'm speaking from a place of 273 00:12:56,760 --> 00:12:59,480 Speaker 2: that trauma will still be sitting very deep at the 274 00:12:59,520 --> 00:13:02,680 Speaker 2: top of my stomach, and every single time I would 275 00:13:02,720 --> 00:13:05,679 Speaker 2: have to engage. It would just come up like that 276 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:08,520 Speaker 2: look that come up like the spirits in me. Okay, 277 00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:11,120 Speaker 2: it would hit me like the Holy ghost every single time. 278 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:13,960 Speaker 2: I had to just see the person in real life. 279 00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:15,400 Speaker 1: Anyway. But listen, maybe. 280 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:17,880 Speaker 2: Kids give you a different sense of strength that I 281 00:13:17,880 --> 00:13:22,000 Speaker 2: don't have yet, in a different sense of needing for peace, 282 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:24,360 Speaker 2: because I'm all here for peace. But my piece is 283 00:13:24,400 --> 00:13:26,040 Speaker 2: I never have to see you again nor talk to you. 284 00:13:26,559 --> 00:13:28,640 Speaker 2: They don't have a choice here, She says. I don't 285 00:13:28,679 --> 00:13:31,600 Speaker 2: talk much about my personal life because it's no one's business, 286 00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:34,559 Speaker 2: but every now and then people speculate on social media, 287 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:38,240 Speaker 2: and it's like me and Coach are good. I hope 288 00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:41,560 Speaker 2: he wins. He deserves to win. He really, he's really 289 00:13:41,559 --> 00:13:43,720 Speaker 2: great at what he does. We can have experiences with 290 00:13:43,760 --> 00:13:47,480 Speaker 2: our son and make him the priority. They're still healing 291 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:49,480 Speaker 2: to be done and understanding to be had. But the 292 00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:51,200 Speaker 2: past is the past. And that's what I think to me, 293 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:55,800 Speaker 2: is that is what is so like, Oh my god, Lauren, 294 00:13:55,800 --> 00:13:58,080 Speaker 2: you might need to grow up like so remarkable and 295 00:13:58,120 --> 00:14:03,440 Speaker 2: profound here because I can understand piece is piece. There's 296 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:06,200 Speaker 2: no issue. But I think that's easier said than done. 297 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:09,080 Speaker 2: When again, I don't have to deal with anybody that 298 00:14:09,120 --> 00:14:11,240 Speaker 2: I've dealt with in the past, I don't have to 299 00:14:11,280 --> 00:14:11,760 Speaker 2: deal with them. 300 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 1: We have no strings attached, not a thing. Okay, love 301 00:14:16,600 --> 00:14:17,040 Speaker 1: that for me. 302 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:20,920 Speaker 2: Love it like I really. 303 00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:22,280 Speaker 1: At this point, I don't even have an ex. 304 00:14:22,800 --> 00:14:24,840 Speaker 2: I've never dated anybody besides the date, but a person 305 00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:26,840 Speaker 2: I'm dating right now. That is how I handle, you know, 306 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,200 Speaker 2: life at this point, and. 307 00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:29,240 Speaker 1: That brings me peace. 308 00:14:29,640 --> 00:14:31,800 Speaker 2: But it's a bit different here, especially too, I think 309 00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:34,960 Speaker 2: even if they didn't share a son together, it's a 310 00:14:34,960 --> 00:14:37,160 Speaker 2: bit different because again, it was so high profile, so 311 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:40,560 Speaker 2: you're always attached to that person once it's high profile 312 00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:42,800 Speaker 2: and it hits the media and it becomes a storyline. 313 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:44,680 Speaker 2: She says, they're still healing. It needs to be done, 314 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:46,280 Speaker 2: and I understanding to be had. But the past is 315 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,520 Speaker 2: the past. I'm not going to carry burthen some energy 316 00:14:48,560 --> 00:14:51,160 Speaker 2: with me because that just transfers to my children and 317 00:14:51,200 --> 00:14:53,880 Speaker 2: it transfers to everything else in my life. I'm working 318 00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:56,480 Speaker 2: on menia, all right, I hear you speaking. I'm proud 319 00:14:56,520 --> 00:14:59,600 Speaker 2: of myself. I think we're proud of each other as parents, 320 00:15:00,400 --> 00:15:03,000 Speaker 2: and we're able to make this an annual thing and 321 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:05,200 Speaker 2: commit to these last sweet years of him being in 322 00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:07,920 Speaker 2: grade school and high school before he goes off to college. 323 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:11,240 Speaker 2: We're both going to be standing there and watching him graduate. 324 00:15:11,680 --> 00:15:15,000 Speaker 2: And I mean, I think this is the place that 325 00:15:15,040 --> 00:15:20,240 Speaker 2: you have to arrive to, especially with a kid grade 326 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:23,800 Speaker 2: school ages that's a big kid. Your kid is on 327 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:26,800 Speaker 2: social so your kid is hearing things, seeing things, and 328 00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:28,880 Speaker 2: even if your kid is not directly on social, their 329 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:31,520 Speaker 2: friends are. We just talked today at the Breakfast Club 330 00:15:31,560 --> 00:15:34,280 Speaker 2: about Blue Ivy and when Blue Ivy was doing the 331 00:15:34,320 --> 00:15:36,560 Speaker 2: Cowboy Carter tour. Y'all remember in the beginning of the tour, 332 00:15:37,480 --> 00:15:40,560 Speaker 2: people were, you know, having some things to say about 333 00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:44,040 Speaker 2: her dancing and her choreography, especially because I mean, Beyonce 334 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:50,040 Speaker 2: is her mom. But Matthew Knows told Carlos King on 335 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:54,360 Speaker 2: Reality with the King that social media was the reason 336 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:57,640 Speaker 2: that Blue Ivy went basically got in a gym. 337 00:15:57,880 --> 00:16:00,200 Speaker 1: So I think at this point, when you you have 338 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:00,840 Speaker 1: a kid that is. 339 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:03,840 Speaker 2: This old and also too you know nia long and 340 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:06,640 Speaker 2: you know her ex were together for some time and 341 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:09,120 Speaker 2: they're just in different spaces a lot more mature than 342 00:16:09,160 --> 00:16:12,600 Speaker 2: I am, you don't have a choice but to get 343 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:14,080 Speaker 2: to this place and I think that it's important because 344 00:16:14,120 --> 00:16:15,720 Speaker 2: you have so much going on day to day. And 345 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:18,520 Speaker 2: don't get me wrong, I'm not harboring any bad feelings 346 00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:20,800 Speaker 2: or ill will for anybody in my past. I think 347 00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:22,760 Speaker 2: I've gotten to a point too where I'm like, I 348 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:25,560 Speaker 2: don't even know if these people deserve that energy, but. 349 00:16:27,240 --> 00:16:29,960 Speaker 1: I don't interact with anyone. I think if I were 350 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,400 Speaker 1: to have to interact. 351 00:16:30,960 --> 00:16:35,920 Speaker 2: With any X that I had any bad breakup situation with, honestly, 352 00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:38,800 Speaker 2: like my my last situation, if I were to walk 353 00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:41,840 Speaker 2: past him to day or tomorrow, it would be nothing 354 00:16:42,120 --> 00:16:44,000 Speaker 2: like literally even if you were to speak and just 355 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:45,000 Speaker 2: be like, oh hey, what's up. 356 00:16:45,520 --> 00:16:47,160 Speaker 1: But it's taking time for me to get there. 357 00:16:47,160 --> 00:16:49,320 Speaker 2: And I've had the luxury of not having an interact 358 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:50,760 Speaker 2: and just acting like he fell off the edge of 359 00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,800 Speaker 2: the earth because it's what I needed and I'm sure 360 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:54,960 Speaker 2: it's what he needed as well too. But I'd also 361 00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:57,000 Speaker 2: gotten to a place by the end of that where 362 00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:00,160 Speaker 2: like it wasn't like abrupt like it seems like me 363 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:03,000 Speaker 2: a long situation with her ex and her child's or 364 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,879 Speaker 2: her youngest son's father was very like she didn't have 365 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:09,720 Speaker 2: a choice, Like it was like everything hit the news 366 00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:12,840 Speaker 2: and it was just like, Okay, is Nea Long gonna 367 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:15,679 Speaker 2: go back? Is she not gonna go back? And I 368 00:17:15,720 --> 00:17:17,560 Speaker 2: think she did have a choice. Let me not say 369 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:20,440 Speaker 2: that she did have a choice, but I think there 370 00:17:20,480 --> 00:17:22,440 Speaker 2: is pressure when you know you got the whole world 371 00:17:22,560 --> 00:17:24,800 Speaker 2: and all these girls who are doing a short hair 372 00:17:24,960 --> 00:17:26,720 Speaker 2: like Na Long and a brown lip line and looking 373 00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:29,040 Speaker 2: up to you about what are you gonna do in 374 00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:32,240 Speaker 2: this situation? And people forget that celebrities are only humans. 375 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:35,120 Speaker 2: So it's like you could take your baby father back 376 00:17:35,200 --> 00:17:38,080 Speaker 2: like ten eleven times, right, he don't come pick up 377 00:17:38,080 --> 00:17:40,719 Speaker 2: the kids. He got about four or five baby mamas. 378 00:17:40,720 --> 00:17:42,720 Speaker 2: You arguing and fussing and fighting with all of them, 379 00:17:43,119 --> 00:17:45,680 Speaker 2: you can take them back. Cool the men in nia 380 00:17:45,680 --> 00:17:49,040 Speaker 2: along decides to take anybody back, or we get a 381 00:17:49,080 --> 00:17:51,199 Speaker 2: photo of them on this vacation and it's picked up 382 00:17:51,240 --> 00:17:52,760 Speaker 2: the wrong way as if they might be trying to 383 00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:55,840 Speaker 2: figure things out. Baby you The same person in the 384 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:58,120 Speaker 2: comments like I cannot believe her. She is a role 385 00:17:58,119 --> 00:18:01,719 Speaker 2: model for black people. Forget that celebrities are human. But 386 00:18:01,920 --> 00:18:03,720 Speaker 2: I mean Neolong stood in where she stood in, and 387 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,480 Speaker 2: I think that's always been one of the things again 388 00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:08,520 Speaker 2: that you know, you look at people when you admire 389 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:10,880 Speaker 2: about them, It's like it seems Neia don't take no shit, 390 00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:15,040 Speaker 2: is what it seems like, and be it as it may. 391 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:18,640 Speaker 2: She's grown up in an industry where she can't, so 392 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,320 Speaker 2: that goes into so many other parts of her life. 393 00:18:21,800 --> 00:18:22,560 Speaker 1: She continues to. 394 00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,239 Speaker 2: Say, I talk about my kids a lot because they 395 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:26,040 Speaker 2: take up so much space in my life and my heart. 396 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,440 Speaker 2: Everything I do is for them. I'm not a perfect mother. 397 00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:31,159 Speaker 2: I've made any mistakes. My kids have seen me go 398 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:33,520 Speaker 2: through it. But that's the type of mother I am. 399 00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:37,480 Speaker 2: If I'm pissed, everyone knows. See, that's so crazy that 400 00:18:37,520 --> 00:18:39,720 Speaker 2: I said that. I hadn't even read this paragraph in 401 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:43,080 Speaker 2: prep for today's episode. I just I've never met Nia long, 402 00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:46,440 Speaker 2: but just from watching her in interviews and how she's 403 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:51,199 Speaker 2: navigated her career in her characters too, and I like 404 00:18:52,119 --> 00:18:54,399 Speaker 2: in her characters. But I think it gets to a 405 00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:56,280 Speaker 2: certain point where you know, when you're in a certain 406 00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:58,800 Speaker 2: part of your career, you get to pick and choose 407 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:01,280 Speaker 2: kind of what you're playing and why you're playing it, 408 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,480 Speaker 2: and you know you're very mindful about what you're picking. 409 00:19:03,520 --> 00:19:06,880 Speaker 2: And she's been able to craft almost like a brand 410 00:19:06,960 --> 00:19:16,720 Speaker 2: or a conversation for herself through her characters. Now this 411 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:18,840 Speaker 2: next part of the article, and we want to end 412 00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,000 Speaker 2: here because I want to open it up for conversation 413 00:19:21,119 --> 00:19:23,760 Speaker 2: from you guys. This next part of the article hit 414 00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:28,200 Speaker 2: me very close to home. So they talk to me 415 00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:30,160 Speaker 2: along about being in her thirties, and then they talk 416 00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:33,240 Speaker 2: to me along about being in her fifties. So she says, 417 00:19:33,560 --> 00:19:35,879 Speaker 2: your thirties are time to experience everything around you, so 418 00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:37,520 Speaker 2: that by the time you get to the age where 419 00:19:37,520 --> 00:19:39,240 Speaker 2: you decide I want to get married or I want 420 00:19:39,240 --> 00:19:41,359 Speaker 2: to have kids, or I don't want to get married, 421 00:19:41,359 --> 00:19:44,040 Speaker 2: but I still want to have children, you've been open 422 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,680 Speaker 2: enough to have these experiences to narrow down your purpose. 423 00:19:47,680 --> 00:19:51,840 Speaker 2: I think thirty is definitely the time where you start 424 00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:54,480 Speaker 2: thinking purpose, Like you think you know purpose and you 425 00:19:54,560 --> 00:19:56,800 Speaker 2: think you know, Oh my God, this is why God 426 00:19:56,840 --> 00:19:58,719 Speaker 2: put me here and the world deserves to get this 427 00:19:58,840 --> 00:19:59,320 Speaker 2: version of me. 428 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:01,360 Speaker 1: No, I think thirty is where you at least. 429 00:20:01,359 --> 00:20:03,159 Speaker 2: I don't think you get it fully in your thirties, 430 00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:05,040 Speaker 2: but I think you start thinking about it in a 431 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:08,359 Speaker 2: real way and things start hitting you differently, especially if 432 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:10,200 Speaker 2: you're coming into your thirties with kids or thinking about 433 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:10,560 Speaker 2: half them. 434 00:20:10,840 --> 00:20:11,200 Speaker 1: She says. 435 00:20:11,240 --> 00:20:13,000 Speaker 2: When I was thirty, I was like, and I'm thirty three. 436 00:20:13,080 --> 00:20:14,800 Speaker 2: That's why it just hit me so close to home. 437 00:20:15,040 --> 00:20:16,919 Speaker 2: She says, When I was thirty, I was like, Okay, 438 00:20:17,119 --> 00:20:19,040 Speaker 2: I want to have my first child by thirty. I 439 00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:20,919 Speaker 2: thought I was going to have my first child at 440 00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:24,560 Speaker 2: twenty five, like that was always my thing before I 441 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,600 Speaker 2: got to college. When I got to college, I was like, 442 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:29,520 Speaker 2: twenty five is not happening. Okay, I need my years 443 00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:31,960 Speaker 2: back that I just spent in college. We're gonna look 444 00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:33,600 Speaker 2: at thirty five. Now I'm thirty three, and I'm like, 445 00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:34,200 Speaker 2: oh god. 446 00:20:35,600 --> 00:20:35,920 Speaker 1: She says. 447 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:37,520 Speaker 2: When I was thirty, I was like, Okay, I want 448 00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:39,440 Speaker 2: to have my first child by thirty. And it was 449 00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:42,320 Speaker 2: always weird because I never said I wanted to be married. 450 00:20:42,800 --> 00:20:45,360 Speaker 2: Marriage was secondary because I felt if it was meant 451 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:47,640 Speaker 2: to be, that would happen. I had my first child 452 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:49,960 Speaker 2: at thirty and my second one at forty. I was 453 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:53,080 Speaker 2: so hyper focused on surviving that I probably should have 454 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:56,040 Speaker 2: had more fun. So I think there's a healthy balance 455 00:20:56,080 --> 00:21:00,119 Speaker 2: between being intentional about your focus, your passion into just 456 00:21:00,200 --> 00:21:03,080 Speaker 2: say fuck it and have fun. You're gonna have plenty 457 00:21:03,160 --> 00:21:06,040 Speaker 2: of years to grind it out. That part hit me 458 00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:09,399 Speaker 2: because one of my biggest things right now is, you know, 459 00:21:09,680 --> 00:21:14,840 Speaker 2: I'm open to the idea of beginning to plan having 460 00:21:14,920 --> 00:21:15,479 Speaker 2: my children. 461 00:21:15,760 --> 00:21:17,960 Speaker 1: I don't want to have children right now. This is 462 00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:18,840 Speaker 1: not the time. I think. 463 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:22,520 Speaker 2: I'm just beginning to build like foundation in a real 464 00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:24,879 Speaker 2: way for myself career wise, and that's very important for 465 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:27,200 Speaker 2: me to I know it won't be all figured out, 466 00:21:27,240 --> 00:21:28,720 Speaker 2: but I do want a certain. 467 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:30,120 Speaker 1: Foundation before I have my kids. 468 00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:34,520 Speaker 2: But when she said she at one point was planning 469 00:21:34,600 --> 00:21:36,040 Speaker 2: her children, and she was just like, you know, if 470 00:21:36,080 --> 00:21:37,360 Speaker 2: marriage happens, it happens. 471 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,879 Speaker 1: I want to be married. I want the family dynamic. 472 00:21:39,960 --> 00:21:43,119 Speaker 2: That is something I've always said, but I realize this 473 00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:46,639 Speaker 2: year that I've been even though I've always said that. 474 00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:48,680 Speaker 2: And a big part of that is because I didn't 475 00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:50,239 Speaker 2: grow up with my father in my house. I met 476 00:21:50,280 --> 00:21:52,919 Speaker 2: my dad when I was like thirteen. I can pick 477 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,560 Speaker 2: up the phone and call him. He may or he 478 00:21:54,640 --> 00:21:57,320 Speaker 2: may not answer. It depends on what he's going through 479 00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:57,680 Speaker 2: that day. 480 00:21:57,880 --> 00:21:58,760 Speaker 1: And if he. 481 00:21:58,840 --> 00:22:02,800 Speaker 2: Answers, how well our conversation goes depends on him his 482 00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:07,080 Speaker 2: energy that day. And I mean my dad watches and 483 00:22:07,160 --> 00:22:09,240 Speaker 2: listens to everything gets upset when I say things like that, 484 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:11,119 Speaker 2: but it's the honest truth and the reason why I 485 00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:12,880 Speaker 2: bring that up. It's not a stab at him. It's 486 00:22:13,000 --> 00:22:17,840 Speaker 2: just that I realized this year has created an idea 487 00:22:17,920 --> 00:22:21,040 Speaker 2: in my mind of like, Okay, I want to be 488 00:22:21,119 --> 00:22:23,159 Speaker 2: married and I want the family dynamic because it's not 489 00:22:23,280 --> 00:22:25,280 Speaker 2: what I had traditionally in my house. 490 00:22:25,359 --> 00:22:27,399 Speaker 1: My brother's dad was around, I have a lot of 491 00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:29,720 Speaker 1: uncles and like all of that, so I was straight. 492 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:31,639 Speaker 2: I never knew I needed for a man in the 493 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:34,000 Speaker 2: household until I met people who had their dads in 494 00:22:34,080 --> 00:22:40,160 Speaker 2: their house. But it's so it's created this idea that, yes, 495 00:22:40,240 --> 00:22:42,280 Speaker 2: I want all of this stuff because I didn't have it, 496 00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:45,000 Speaker 2: and I know it's needed, but I. 497 00:22:45,040 --> 00:22:49,480 Speaker 1: Don't even really know why, like like what is the need? 498 00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:51,359 Speaker 1: Like like why am I saying that? 499 00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:55,080 Speaker 2: Like I'm saying it because traditionally that's what's supposed to happen. 500 00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:59,000 Speaker 2: But I think this past so not this past summer. 501 00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,760 Speaker 2: It was the summer prior to that about yeah, the 502 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,040 Speaker 2: summer when I came home from LA and I was 503 00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:06,440 Speaker 2: in transition, so it was you know, I had done 504 00:23:06,440 --> 00:23:07,880 Speaker 2: a little bit of a guest host in twenty twenty 505 00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:10,440 Speaker 2: three breakfast Club. That was the first time that me 506 00:23:10,480 --> 00:23:14,080 Speaker 2: and my dad spent like actual real time together because 507 00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:15,840 Speaker 2: he was helping me renovate an event space that I 508 00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:17,960 Speaker 2: had at the time. And I remember one day we 509 00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:20,280 Speaker 2: were on the phone with a contractors or it was 510 00:23:20,320 --> 00:23:22,200 Speaker 2: like a painting company. It was a painting company, like 511 00:23:22,240 --> 00:23:25,520 Speaker 2: a paint store. And my dad has an interior decorating 512 00:23:25,560 --> 00:23:27,520 Speaker 2: business that's painting and all the things, so that's why 513 00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:30,840 Speaker 2: he was there helping me. And there were two conversations actually, 514 00:23:30,880 --> 00:23:32,560 Speaker 2: so this is the first one. So I was on 515 00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:35,120 Speaker 2: the phone with the paint store and I'm talking through 516 00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:38,280 Speaker 2: things and he's telling me what to say, and I 517 00:23:38,359 --> 00:23:40,280 Speaker 2: think I said something wrong or like they told me 518 00:23:40,320 --> 00:23:42,440 Speaker 2: they didn't have something that like it didn't make sense 519 00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:44,840 Speaker 2: for them not to have, and he took the phone 520 00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:47,480 Speaker 2: and the way that they talked to him, it was 521 00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:49,119 Speaker 2: a guy on the phone, the way that he talked 522 00:23:49,240 --> 00:23:53,000 Speaker 2: to my dad, and just I don't know the level 523 00:23:53,000 --> 00:23:55,760 Speaker 2: of understanding that happened in the conversation instantly because a 524 00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:58,639 Speaker 2: man got in the phone, got on the phone and 525 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:00,560 Speaker 2: kind of just like took over and I was able 526 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:04,800 Speaker 2: to sit back. I remember literally the feeling of like, oh, 527 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:09,879 Speaker 2: this is what having a dad around is like. And 528 00:24:10,000 --> 00:24:12,399 Speaker 2: for like, I literally remember that, and that's something as 529 00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:14,840 Speaker 2: small as like ordering paint from a paint store, but 530 00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:18,600 Speaker 2: I just remember the reassurance of like, my dad got it, 531 00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:21,760 Speaker 2: and like the reassurance of oh, a man is here. 532 00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:24,520 Speaker 2: So it feels like like there's like a safer space 533 00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:27,520 Speaker 2: or like a you know, like I never felt that before, 534 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:29,480 Speaker 2: so I didn't really understand because it's different when it's 535 00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:31,840 Speaker 2: your father versus like, you know, my brother's dad, and 536 00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:35,160 Speaker 2: even that him and my mom weren't together getting too personal. 537 00:24:35,320 --> 00:24:37,560 Speaker 2: My whole point is is that when I read this 538 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:42,720 Speaker 2: from Nia Long, I realized that when she says and 539 00:24:42,800 --> 00:24:45,560 Speaker 2: it was always weird because I never said I wanted 540 00:24:45,560 --> 00:24:46,040 Speaker 2: to be married. 541 00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:46,680 Speaker 1: That's different for me. 542 00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:48,440 Speaker 2: I've always said I wanted to be married, but she 543 00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:51,160 Speaker 2: says marriage was secondary because I felt if it was meant. 544 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:52,320 Speaker 1: To be, that would happen. 545 00:24:52,960 --> 00:24:55,520 Speaker 2: I think, in my mind, I'm saying this is what 546 00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:59,640 Speaker 2: I want, but my actions I was moving like, I mean, 547 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:03,520 Speaker 2: I can deal with whoever, even if I don't see 548 00:25:03,560 --> 00:25:06,240 Speaker 2: my forever or this being the father of my children, 549 00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:12,000 Speaker 2: because that's just gonna find me like the great man 550 00:25:12,160 --> 00:25:14,240 Speaker 2: who's the father of my children, but not just the 551 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:16,600 Speaker 2: father of my children, but my life partner and my husband. 552 00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:18,000 Speaker 1: Oh, that'll just find me. 553 00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:20,560 Speaker 2: I don't need to be intentional because it'll just snap 554 00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:22,119 Speaker 2: into or it'll just happen. 555 00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:23,399 Speaker 1: No. 556 00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:26,840 Speaker 2: I got to a certain point being single and being 557 00:25:26,880 --> 00:25:28,920 Speaker 2: in my thirties and really starting to like think through 558 00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:33,600 Speaker 2: what I want my like this thing over here on 559 00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:35,399 Speaker 2: the left of me that I'm saying I want like 560 00:25:35,640 --> 00:25:39,560 Speaker 2: marriage and children, and like I don't just want a 561 00:25:39,680 --> 00:25:41,920 Speaker 2: man in my house and to be married because I 562 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:44,159 Speaker 2: didn't see that. I want a real life partner. I 563 00:25:44,240 --> 00:25:46,280 Speaker 2: want my kids to see me happy. I want my 564 00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:49,040 Speaker 2: kids to see me working through things and it actually 565 00:25:49,119 --> 00:25:51,120 Speaker 2: working out when I'm not happy. I want my kids 566 00:25:51,200 --> 00:25:53,960 Speaker 2: to see me being respected, valued, and I want my 567 00:25:54,160 --> 00:25:56,680 Speaker 2: kids to see me doing that to someone as well. 568 00:25:57,480 --> 00:26:00,800 Speaker 2: And I, oh, my god, Like this past year has 569 00:26:00,920 --> 00:26:05,560 Speaker 2: just been even the way I speak about kids, I 570 00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:08,960 Speaker 2: say my kids, and I've had to learn how to 571 00:26:09,040 --> 00:26:12,520 Speaker 2: be like our kids and our because in my mind 572 00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:14,960 Speaker 2: marriage and all that, it was just like I'm gonna 573 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:17,040 Speaker 2: do that because it hasn't been done and I haven't 574 00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:20,680 Speaker 2: seen it, not because I truly felt like I was 575 00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:23,560 Speaker 2: ever gonna find a person that was my actual like, Okay, 576 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:26,879 Speaker 2: this is my partner, We're equally yoked. This is what 577 00:26:27,080 --> 00:26:29,880 Speaker 2: my children need, not just this is what I want 578 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:33,920 Speaker 2: for them. That whole little line right there, Oh, it's 579 00:26:33,960 --> 00:26:36,680 Speaker 2: just gonna happen. It'll just fall in the place. Felt that, 580 00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:39,760 Speaker 2: And that's where I was up until this year thirty three. 581 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:42,560 Speaker 2: And then she compares it to her her fifties, and 582 00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:45,959 Speaker 2: she says, I'm turning fifty five this year. My sixties 583 00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:47,720 Speaker 2: are around the corner. It sounds crazy to me, but 584 00:26:47,760 --> 00:26:50,320 Speaker 2: I still feel like I'm in my thirties. I felt smarter, 585 00:26:50,480 --> 00:26:52,919 Speaker 2: I feel safe. I've practiced a lot of forgiveness over 586 00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:55,280 Speaker 2: the past couple of years. Most of my relationships are 587 00:26:55,320 --> 00:26:57,080 Speaker 2: in a really good place. And I did it for myself. 588 00:26:57,440 --> 00:26:58,760 Speaker 2: I didn't do it for anyone else. 589 00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:01,000 Speaker 1: Don't get me wrong. There are days that I want 590 00:27:01,040 --> 00:27:02,920 Speaker 1: to go in we all have that. 591 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,520 Speaker 2: But when I feel that pressure or that angst, or 592 00:27:05,600 --> 00:27:08,040 Speaker 2: that anxiety, or that need to have a deeper understanding 593 00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:10,800 Speaker 2: of something or someone, I tend to get quiet and 594 00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:13,600 Speaker 2: think about what I'm going through rather than whatever the 595 00:27:13,680 --> 00:27:17,360 Speaker 2: outside circumstance is and then you can approach things differently. 596 00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:20,080 Speaker 2: I'm not in my fifties, but I feel like I've 597 00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:22,960 Speaker 2: begin to do that a bit differently. And maybe it's 598 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:26,560 Speaker 2: too it's because of like Nia Long has been famous 599 00:27:26,720 --> 00:27:29,639 Speaker 2: and has been had platform and success in a public 600 00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:32,680 Speaker 2: eye for a really long time. Everything's just starting for me, 601 00:27:32,840 --> 00:27:35,720 Speaker 2: like and I'm such a I'm like, you know, small fish, 602 00:27:35,960 --> 00:27:38,399 Speaker 2: huge pond on this platform that is. 603 00:27:38,440 --> 00:27:41,399 Speaker 1: Like, you know, elevating things every single day for me. 604 00:27:41,880 --> 00:27:44,680 Speaker 2: So I'm beginning to think about how I deal with things, 605 00:27:44,720 --> 00:27:49,000 Speaker 2: how I respond to things, so much more and so 606 00:27:49,200 --> 00:27:52,960 Speaker 2: differently than how I've ever been because my only thought is, 607 00:27:53,359 --> 00:27:54,359 Speaker 2: you can't f this up. 608 00:27:55,119 --> 00:27:55,840 Speaker 1: This is your shot. 609 00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:59,040 Speaker 2: You cannot mess this up, and anything you do can 610 00:27:59,240 --> 00:28:01,640 Speaker 2: has a chance to hear the public. You cannot mess 611 00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:04,880 Speaker 2: this up. So I mean this article, and I didn't 612 00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:08,600 Speaker 2: even fully go through everything, but this article in reading 613 00:28:08,640 --> 00:28:10,440 Speaker 2: about Nia along and just you know where her thinking 614 00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:12,920 Speaker 2: is today, from where she's come from and where she's 615 00:28:13,000 --> 00:28:15,280 Speaker 2: been and where she's going. She talks about you know, 616 00:28:15,440 --> 00:28:18,440 Speaker 2: she's dropping a memoir soon, she has a project coming 617 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:19,440 Speaker 2: up with Lorenz Tape. 618 00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:22,280 Speaker 1: It was a great read. It was a great read, 619 00:28:22,400 --> 00:28:24,359 Speaker 1: and I think you know here on. 620 00:28:24,359 --> 00:28:25,879 Speaker 2: The last with Laurena Rosea, I think one of the 621 00:28:25,960 --> 00:28:28,959 Speaker 2: things that it's beautiful is that we get to talk 622 00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:33,800 Speaker 2: about things in pop culture and in conversations, in conversation, but. 623 00:28:34,240 --> 00:28:37,720 Speaker 1: We get to really have a conversation. This was, you know, 624 00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:39,160 Speaker 1: something that made me reflect. 625 00:28:39,640 --> 00:28:42,320 Speaker 2: Would love for you guys to go read the article 626 00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:44,760 Speaker 2: on the cut, the feature on Nia along. Let me 627 00:28:44,840 --> 00:28:47,240 Speaker 2: know what you guys think, Get in the comments, get 628 00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:49,520 Speaker 2: in you know, the tweets. Take it to the streets 629 00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:50,440 Speaker 2: and the tweets. 630 00:28:50,280 --> 00:28:53,760 Speaker 1: You call the truths. We outside, we outside, we outside outside. 631 00:28:54,520 --> 00:28:57,880 Speaker 2: Every other page, I want to hear from you guys, 632 00:28:58,200 --> 00:29:01,440 Speaker 2: ladies especially like the ladies. I would love to hear 633 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:04,240 Speaker 2: from you guys because I think that conversation of like 634 00:29:04,480 --> 00:29:05,040 Speaker 2: have it all. 635 00:29:06,040 --> 00:29:07,880 Speaker 1: We're having it a lot more now and we. 636 00:29:07,960 --> 00:29:09,920 Speaker 2: See people who do it like I commend Cardi b 637 00:29:10,240 --> 00:29:12,560 Speaker 2: I commend all of the women, Beyonce, all of the 638 00:29:12,640 --> 00:29:15,160 Speaker 2: women that are able to because it's not easy whatsoever, 639 00:29:16,200 --> 00:29:19,200 Speaker 2: but it's scary. That is one of the things that 640 00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:23,240 Speaker 2: I am most scared of doing. Someone asked me a question, 641 00:29:23,480 --> 00:29:26,200 Speaker 2: what is the dream that you are scared of most, 642 00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:28,480 Speaker 2: And I said becoming a mom. And I'm not scared 643 00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:30,680 Speaker 2: because I don't think I'll be a great mom. I'll adjust, 644 00:29:30,920 --> 00:29:35,160 Speaker 2: I move in shape. You can take care of your 645 00:29:35,200 --> 00:29:37,840 Speaker 2: mother and your grandmother because the older people get, the 646 00:29:38,000 --> 00:29:40,200 Speaker 2: more you can't tell them nothing. If I can figure 647 00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:42,760 Speaker 2: that out, I can figure out a child, especially with 648 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:46,800 Speaker 2: a great partner on which I have. But the biggest 649 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:50,719 Speaker 2: thing for me is how will it impact my career? 650 00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:52,600 Speaker 1: You know, you got to be fit. 651 00:29:52,680 --> 00:29:57,040 Speaker 2: You gotta show it physically, mentally in ways like never 652 00:29:57,160 --> 00:30:00,520 Speaker 2: before when you're a woman on a platform and I'm 653 00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:04,520 Speaker 2: new here, so my girl, you only got one shot 654 00:30:05,360 --> 00:30:08,480 Speaker 2: comes in to thought so much when I think about 655 00:30:08,960 --> 00:30:12,920 Speaker 2: when am I gonna have kids? I want kids, twins 656 00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:15,320 Speaker 2: to start twin girls and they're gonna be all over YouTube. 657 00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:17,880 Speaker 2: But that's a whole another story. But yes, like that's 658 00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:21,280 Speaker 2: the that's one of my biggest Like I'm scared. It's 659 00:30:21,320 --> 00:30:23,880 Speaker 2: like I'm playing double dutch, like all right, when, all right? 660 00:30:23,920 --> 00:30:24,080 Speaker 1: When? 661 00:30:24,080 --> 00:30:25,720 Speaker 2: Because I do want to plan it. I think my 662 00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:30,320 Speaker 2: career deserves a plane, a plan a bit. But I'm down, 663 00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:31,440 Speaker 2: you know, if not playing. 664 00:30:31,440 --> 00:30:34,040 Speaker 1: But I'm scared. So hearing her talk about you know 665 00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:34,720 Speaker 1: just the way she. 666 00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:37,720 Speaker 2: Used to think about marriage, and you know she's okay 667 00:30:37,800 --> 00:30:40,360 Speaker 2: with having a career while having the family, and she's 668 00:30:40,440 --> 00:30:42,040 Speaker 2: always been that way, and she's always set out to 669 00:30:42,080 --> 00:30:42,400 Speaker 2: be that way. 670 00:30:42,400 --> 00:30:46,560 Speaker 1: It's encouraging to hear because it's tough. So, ladies in 671 00:30:46,640 --> 00:30:48,520 Speaker 1: the streets, in the tweets, let me know what y'all think. 672 00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:52,480 Speaker 1: Is anybody else out there scared like me? Is this 673 00:30:52,600 --> 00:30:55,080 Speaker 1: thing going? I'm the only one. Let's talk. 674 00:30:55,560 --> 00:30:57,680 Speaker 2: At the end of the day, you guys could be 675 00:30:57,760 --> 00:31:00,600 Speaker 2: anywhere with anybody having a conversation about all these things, 676 00:31:00,960 --> 00:31:03,200 Speaker 2: but you choose to be right here with me, my lowriders, 677 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:05,560 Speaker 2: and I appreciate you guys for that. 678 00:31:06,160 --> 00:31:06,640 Speaker 1: I'm Laura l. 679 00:31:06,760 --> 00:31:07,000 Speaker 2: Rosa. 680 00:31:07,120 --> 00:31:08,840 Speaker 1: This is the latest with Laura L. Rosa, and I 681 00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:10,920 Speaker 1: will see you guys in my next episode.