Speaker 1: Welcome to Carefully Reckless, the production of Our Heart Radio
Speaker 1: and the Black Effects. Oh Ship back on the air.
Speaker 1: Welcome back to hat another Carefully Reckless episode with your
Speaker 1: girl just hilarious session. Fixed my mess? Here we are
Speaker 1: and we got some voice notes today. Thank god I
Speaker 1: ain't got the read. Thank god I can just focus
Speaker 1: on fixing all right, Good, here we go. Hey, Jess,
Speaker 1: I want to see if you can fix my mess.
Speaker 1: I wanted to know what is your best suggestion on
Speaker 1: cutting off family members that are always around. Like I
Speaker 1: have a lot of sisters, man, I'm friends with all
Speaker 1: my sisters except for one of them. She's just really
Speaker 1: shady and she talks about us to her mom. We
Speaker 1: have the same die, but we don't have the same mom,
Speaker 1: and she talks about us and like, I remember one
Speaker 1: time we went on a trip and her phone was
Speaker 1: like out and our cousin saw that she was texting
Speaker 1: her mom saying, Oh, I'm not like her. I'm not
Speaker 1: like these other girls. Like I don't drink, I don't smoke,
Speaker 1: like I'm good, you know what I mean? Like number one,
Speaker 1: why are you telling your mom that we drink and
Speaker 1: we smoke like we come from a really religious family,
Speaker 1: and I could come back to our mom. Number one,
Speaker 1: you're telling our business to your mom. And number two,
Speaker 1: why are you talking about your own fucking blood? Like
Speaker 1: that's so weird to me. I've never in my life
Speaker 1: said anything bad about any siblings. And I'm the type
Speaker 1: of person like if you whatever energy you give me,
Speaker 1: I will get back to you. That's just like one
Speaker 1: of the shitty things that she's done. And number two,
Speaker 1: she's just like really shitty to everybody. This girl never
Speaker 1: keeps any friends because people always cut her off because
Speaker 1: of the way that she acts, like she'll talk about you,
Speaker 1: she'll tell your business. And another thing that she did
Speaker 1: that just threw me off recently is one of her
Speaker 1: friends got rejected by her guy friends, and she calls
Speaker 1: her guy friends and was like, oh my god, like laughing,
Speaker 1: like why would she do that? Like it's just like
Speaker 1: I'm like, girl, you're so you're such a fucking pick me.
Speaker 1: I don't know. I'm like, she grew around boys, and
Speaker 1: I grew up around girls, so I know how to
Speaker 1: be a good friend, do you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: At the end of the day, the way that she
Speaker 1: grew up, she never really had like females around her,
Speaker 1: so she didn't really know, she doesn't really know how
Speaker 1: to act. But I don't really like her. And also
Speaker 1: there's another thing that she did, like her mom sent
Speaker 1: one of our brothers or half brothers to our family's
Speaker 1: business and tried to steal our clients. And I think
Speaker 1: that she gets like she gets all the shady behavior
Speaker 1: from her mom. Her mom is just mad at my
Speaker 1: mom because she was the other woman, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean. So I think that's why she hates us
Speaker 1: so much, and that's why my sister acts like that
Speaker 1: towards us to like obviously be on her mom's side.
Speaker 1: But it's just like I don't like that fucking talk
Speaker 1: sh Like whatever our parents have, it shouldn't come in
Speaker 1: between us, you know what I mean. At the end
Speaker 1: of the day, where siblings, she doesn't really look at
Speaker 1: us that way. She looks at us as the enemy
Speaker 1: because her mom looked at us as the enemy, know
Speaker 1: what I mean. She's just projecting all of that onto us.
Speaker 1: But honestly, like I can't never get away from this girl.
Speaker 1: I don't you talk to her, I don't text her,
Speaker 1: but every time that I go to her city to
Speaker 1: visit my other sister. She's always blowing up my phone
Speaker 1: and I don't. I just ignore all her calls, and
Speaker 1: then like she called my sister, and then it's like
Speaker 1: I'm kind of just like in between. I'm kind of
Speaker 1: like in between that I can't really escape her. Do
Speaker 1: you think I should just tell her like yo, I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't want to funk with you, like I'm good
Speaker 1: off of you. Or should I just play nice? Because
Speaker 1: obviously she's friends with my sisters, and I love my
Speaker 1: sister Todath They're like my best friends. But I don't
Speaker 1: like her, and all my other sisters don't like her either,
Speaker 1: but they just kind of they just deal with her.
Speaker 1: I can't do that, Like, that's not the type of
Speaker 1: person I am. I'm not the type of person to
Speaker 1: like sit here and pull laugh at somebody and play
Speaker 1: with them and be cool with them and even though
Speaker 1: I fucking hate them in the inside, Like I'm a
Speaker 1: sagittarious um. It's just it's hard for me, like to
Speaker 1: not tell people how I feel. Do you think that
Speaker 1: just because she'll she'll never change, I should just accept
Speaker 1: her for the way that she is, or should I
Speaker 1: just check her and be like bitch, like this is
Speaker 1: what you did, this way you did. I don't funk
Speaker 1: with you, and like put it all out there or
Speaker 1: should I just let it go? Let me clarify on
Speaker 1: that one part where I said that one of our
Speaker 1: moms was the other woman that was shade. Neither of
Speaker 1: our mom's were the other woman. Our father married for women.
Speaker 1: I'm not sure if it was at the same time
Speaker 1: or I'm not sure, but if you know anything about Muslims,
Speaker 1: men are allowed to marry up to four women, and
Speaker 1: both of our mothers have kids close in age, so
Speaker 1: I'm assuming that our dad married my sister's mom and
Speaker 1: my mom around the same time, if not the same year.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I just wanted to clarify on that part.
Speaker 1: Thank you, no problem, money. I love that. I love
Speaker 1: the clarification because listen, you sent me the other part
Speaker 1: on a whole an other day. You sent me the
Speaker 1: first story a whole another day, and then you just
Speaker 1: sent your correction not too long ago. So I do
Speaker 1: understand the shade was thrown. You were just in your feelings,
Speaker 1: you were very upset, obviously something had just happened, and
Speaker 1: you just you reacted. I understand, and I do respect
Speaker 1: I love and respect how you were still respect her
Speaker 1: mother enough to come back and correct that, like, no, okay,
Speaker 1: she wasn't the other woman. Neither was my mom. You know,
Speaker 1: we're Muslims, so dad is allowed to have more than
Speaker 1: one wife or you know, or what have you. I
Speaker 1: don't want to mess it up because I do not
Speaker 1: want no smoke with no damn Muslims. All right, So
Speaker 1: we're gonna keep it moving there. We're gonna get off
Speaker 1: the Muslim part, all right. Listen, Okay, I want you
Speaker 1: to have an open mind when I'm telling you this,
Speaker 1: But your sister, do you sometimes feel that because you
Speaker 1: and your other sisters who were so close and tighten
Speaker 1: it and just loyal to one another and thriving, you
Speaker 1: have obviously a big part in the family business. And
Speaker 1: you know, you're very well articulate. You sound very intelligent.
Speaker 1: Do you think at with that family dynamic over there,
Speaker 1: you guys are by the same woman and man, same
Speaker 1: mom and dad, and then her with a different mom
Speaker 1: in a different household. You know, not as structured, is
Speaker 1: what it sounds like. And I'm basing that solely off
Speaker 1: of her social skills and how she was. You said
Speaker 1: she wasn't raised around women, so she doesn't really know
Speaker 1: how to navigate with all these feminine feelings and all
Speaker 1: this ship and how the sister cod goes, you know,
Speaker 1: so she wouldn't really know how to be a sister. Okay,
Speaker 1: growing up? How was it? Because do you think that
Speaker 1: she could sometimes feel like a black sheep? I don't
Speaker 1: know if your dad still stayed with her mother after
Speaker 1: her mother gave birth to her, or did he break
Speaker 1: up with a mother and stay with your mother or
Speaker 1: how was it? Also? Was she around you guys growing up?
Speaker 1: Was she coming to get dropped off? Did she spend
Speaker 1: holidays with you guys? And did you guys go over
Speaker 1: there to her house or whatever? Or you know, were
Speaker 1: you guys raised as close sisters although you guys come
Speaker 1: from two different households, that she ever feel included in anything?
Speaker 1: Not justifying the bullshit and the talking ship and all
Speaker 1: of that. But is it possible that she could have
Speaker 1: grew up disliking you guys because you have each other
Speaker 1: and she just has her She doesn't have other sisters
Speaker 1: outside of her dad on her mom's side. I think
Speaker 1: you said she has brothers. And let me tell you
Speaker 1: something right now, I didn't grow up around girls either,
Speaker 1: but I know not to do that ship. That's why
Speaker 1: I got something so rough and tough, and I'm real
Speaker 1: quick on my feet, and you know, I can spawl
Speaker 1: with the best of these nickels out here because I
Speaker 1: grew up around guys. I have brothers, you know, I
Speaker 1: have boy cousins. Not I have female cousins too, But
Speaker 1: I was a tom girl for the majority of my life.
Speaker 1: Like girl, I didn't start wearing makeup and all that
Speaker 1: ship until I got on a while and out. That's
Speaker 1: for real, and that's that's literally like what six years ago.
Speaker 1: I was never into anything girly, didn't even desire to
Speaker 1: hang around girls. Me and my cousin London and had
Speaker 1: one female best friend named Jasmine growing up to homegirls
Speaker 1: and like eighty fucking own boys. Never ever even desired
Speaker 1: to be around girls. Hang around girls, you know, no
Speaker 1: particular reason. I just like basketball and ship better. So
Speaker 1: I'm not gonna say that doesn't have anything at all
Speaker 1: to do with why she asked the way she does.
Speaker 1: But I'm telling you that's not It's different for everybody.
Speaker 1: It's different for different people. I don't think that that
Speaker 1: plays a part in it. I think she wants to love.
Speaker 1: And I think you hit it on the head when
Speaker 1: you said she's a pick me. It's like she's a
Speaker 1: fucking pick me, Yeah, because I don't feel like she's
Speaker 1: ever felt like she was picked before, You know what
Speaker 1: I'm saying. That also can have an effect on you.
Speaker 1: Pick me's generally are the black sheeps, are the underdogs,
Speaker 1: are the people that gotta fight harder to be seen.
Speaker 1: They sing like their attention seeking than they are because
Speaker 1: they never really got attention, You get what I'm saying.
Speaker 1: And then if her mother was such an angry bitch,
Speaker 1: no joking, sorry, if her mother there was such an
Speaker 1: angry person all her life from what you can remember,
Speaker 1: not all her life, But you say like she's an
Speaker 1: angry person, she's mean, she's nasty. If a child is
Speaker 1: growing up around that, that child is gonna be conditioned
Speaker 1: to be the same way, even if her mother didn't
Speaker 1: teach her to be that way. That's my mother. So
Speaker 1: I inherit that I see that I watched that I
Speaker 1: learned her behavior, and she doesn't even really realize she's
Speaker 1: teaching it to me. And maybe she did teach it
Speaker 1: on purpose. But I don't drink and all that, you know,
Speaker 1: all that ship comes from her mother. You guys are
Speaker 1: living life, chilling, having fun, thanking. Y'all can trust your
Speaker 1: sister that I have fun with y'all too. Have y'all
Speaker 1: ever sat down and talked to her? Literally? Have y'all
Speaker 1: ever just just sat down? I think that would be great.
Speaker 1: And honestly, I know you don't like her. I know
Speaker 1: your sisters don't like her. I don't think she likes
Speaker 1: y'all either, But that has to stop. And you know
Speaker 1: you can't save every relationship. You can't save every friendship,
Speaker 1: you can't even save every family ship. But to be
Speaker 1: honest with you, I think you even writing me is
Speaker 1: a sign that you do want to fix it, because
Speaker 1: you ask me, should I just say fucking them off
Speaker 1: of you? Or should I just continue to play nice?
Speaker 1: I don't think you should do either. Hey, I don't
Speaker 1: think you should break up with your sister. No, I
Speaker 1: don't half sister whatever. I don't think you should break
Speaker 1: up with her. And I also don't think you should
Speaker 1: play nice, because that's being phony. I think you should
Speaker 1: set her ass down, you and her, not all the sisters.
Speaker 1: I think she needs to have an individual conversation with
Speaker 1: each of you and then you guys can come together
Speaker 1: and talk. And the reason why I say that and
Speaker 1: just hear me out because she could possibly feel like
Speaker 1: with all of y'all talking to her at the same time,
Speaker 1: y'all are going to go back and talk about her
Speaker 1: when she gets up and leave, because she is the
Speaker 1: only one that's divided. There is a division there, you
Speaker 1: know that was created because of dad, so real, no
Speaker 1: one is to blame, not the mother, not your mother,
Speaker 1: not the sister. But then again, we can't even really
Speaker 1: blame that because it's religion that you don't have to
Speaker 1: abide by one wife or what you know. So and
Speaker 1: he was married to four women, as you said, So
Speaker 1: these are divisions created because of religion. I'm gonna say that.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say that confidently because that's and I'll be
Speaker 1: all in a nutshell that's what it is. I can't
Speaker 1: deem it to say it's wrong. However, I'm not a Muslim,
Speaker 1: I am Christian, and you can't have more than one wife.
Speaker 1: You can't do that. Now, Nigga's do it all day.
Speaker 1: Men cheat, men do this, but it's not right. And
Speaker 1: my religion. So what I'm saying to you is, I
Speaker 1: think it should be an individual conversation. You should go
Speaker 1: and talk to her, then your other sister go and
Speaker 1: talk to her. Then the other sister go talk to her,
Speaker 1: and then the other sister go talk. So I don't
Speaker 1: know how many of y'all it is Papa rolling stone
Speaker 1: head ass stamp, but I do think that that would
Speaker 1: birth a whole new perspective about you guys to her
Speaker 1: and then you never even know. She could probably be
Speaker 1: wanting the love from y'all so bad, but she doesn't
Speaker 1: want to be the bigger person. She wants y'all to
Speaker 1: pull it out of her. You know, she wants y'all
Speaker 1: to make the first step, and it's okay in doing that.
Speaker 1: You've been playing nice all this damn time. Why knowing
Speaker 1: y'all don't like the girl, and knowing the girl don't
Speaker 1: like y'all, have a conversation with her. Hey, look, and
Speaker 1: then you don't gotta be nice in the conversation, should you?
Speaker 1: My sister, I'm gonna talk to you like a real
Speaker 1: grown ass woman. Listen. I don't like that you talk
Speaker 1: about me and our always include her. You want to
Speaker 1: use words like our as mad as you may be
Speaker 1: in this conversation, as mad as you always probably feel that,
Speaker 1: you know, you don't want to claim her or whatever.
Speaker 1: Or she's not like you. Yeah, she's not like you
Speaker 1: because y'all don't have the same mother. Y'all got the
Speaker 1: same dad. Trust me, you're more of your mother than
Speaker 1: you are your father. I'll always believe that. I don't care.
Speaker 1: You lived in her belly for nine months. Yes, he
Speaker 1: helped create you, but you were bonded to your mother
Speaker 1: for nine months. You are held by your mother immediately
Speaker 1: after birth. You're breast fair. Whether you're breast fair or not,
Speaker 1: you bond skin to skin. So she's more of her
Speaker 1: mother than your father. You're more of your mother than
Speaker 1: your father. You understand. So sit down and talk to her,
Speaker 1: you say, hey, what is it? Or you can just
Speaker 1: start the conversation like that. What is it? What is
Speaker 1: it about me that you hate? Why do you hate me?
Speaker 1: Why do you dislike me? What is wrong? What did
Speaker 1: I do to you? Why do you snitch on me?
Speaker 1: Why do you think you're so different? What is the
Speaker 1: problem with us? What is the underlying issue? Doesn't have
Speaker 1: anything to do with our dad? You know, give her
Speaker 1: a chance to talk. Also, things may get a little heated.
Speaker 1: I know, y'all better not put your hands on each other.
Speaker 1: And that's not what sisters do, even half sisters don't
Speaker 1: supposed to do that. Okay, have a conversation. Go to
Speaker 1: your other sisters, encourage them to talk to her. Y'all,
Speaker 1: don't have to fight fire with fire. Let hollow as
Speaker 1: be the fire. Put that shut out, extinguish that ship.
Speaker 1: And if it doesn't work, even after a sensible, civilized conversation,
Speaker 1: then fall back, I would say, and let her come around.
Speaker 1: Don't treat in a different way. You just learn how
Speaker 1: to deal with it with a long ageist poem, deal
Speaker 1: with her at a distance. Love your sister from a distance. Okay,
Speaker 1: so check back in with me, baby girl. That was
Speaker 1: a good one, and she's so beautiful too. All right,
Speaker 1: we're gonna do one more and we're gonna get out
Speaker 1: of here. Hold up, hold up, I know the ship
Speaker 1: getting good, but listen to just a couple of seconds
Speaker 1: of a commercial. If you love me, you'll listen. Moving
Speaker 1: on ages, Okay, I'm gonna get right into it. When
Speaker 1: you six years old and I'm dating that God he's
Speaker 1: really nice. He's not one of the typical guys I date.
Speaker 1: He actually is ship. Most of the guys who you know,
Speaker 1: we tend to go after. I tend to go after
Speaker 1: ain't ship, but just when he's doing pretty good either way. Anyways,
Speaker 1: he has a three year old. I have no kids
Speaker 1: at all, and he's real cool with his baby mother,
Speaker 1: and anybody else will be great to not be going
Speaker 1: to the baby mama drama. But they're a little too cool.
Speaker 1: They give their three year old, they sit pictures down
Speaker 1: in front of her and give her a choice of
Speaker 1: where she was to go to different countries, and she
Speaker 1: picks and they go as a family. And I'm dating you,
Speaker 1: So it's kind of hard for me. What should I do?
Speaker 1: How should I feel? I'm happy that he's not having
Speaker 1: drama with his baby mother, but I think that's a
Speaker 1: little bit much. Okay, so you cut that off and listen.
Speaker 1: I don't even need you to finish, girl. Let that
Speaker 1: motherfucker alone. That's just what that is? Uh? This like
Speaker 1: what the funk this look like? Over? If? Girl? Please?
Speaker 1: What you date them? Is it your boyfriend? Because to
Speaker 1: be honest with you, oh yeah, I'm coming with y'all
Speaker 1: to the funk. I ain't never been to Somalia. I
Speaker 1: ain't never been to St. Lucia. I've never been an alright,
Speaker 1: b or the funk. Like, no, put some pictures in
Speaker 1: front of me, motherfucker, and I'm going that sounds like
Speaker 1: some Will Smith Jada pinking ship. Damn what is this?
Speaker 1: Because you know Will Smith has an older son right
Speaker 1: before Jada. His name is Trey. Now, Will was married
Speaker 1: to his mother before. Look the bottomore is coming out
Speaker 1: of me. Will was married to this woman before. Okay,
Speaker 1: and I just watched a little snippet of Red Table
Speaker 1: Talk where she actually came on. I think her name
Speaker 1: is Lisa. I do not want to screw this woman's
Speaker 1: name up. I think his first wife's name was Lisa.
Speaker 1: She comes on the show and Jada says, oh, they
Speaker 1: say trips together and everything, like I did go out
Speaker 1: the country together. And then so Lisa said, you know
Speaker 1: you're going to clear this up, right, Like, No, that's
Speaker 1: your husband. Yes, he was mine before, but he's your husband.
Speaker 1: You know, you say stuff like that, you're gonna have
Speaker 1: to clear it up. No, we don't just go on
Speaker 1: trips because we're you know, like we're sucking around. Nothing
Speaker 1: like that. No, I think they have some type of
Speaker 1: like their business partners or something like that. But either way,
Speaker 1: I don't care. Jada is so secure in herself because
Speaker 1: she ain't really She don't give a damn bundle damn Willie,
Speaker 1: so she don't care. Right, she got a few entanglements
Speaker 1: of her own still going on that we don't know
Speaker 1: about yet that she probably will tell us, because she
Speaker 1: tell us every damn thing, even ship that she shouldn't
Speaker 1: tell us. But that's neither hero there. She doesn't mind.
Speaker 1: Will travel in the world with his baby mother, and
Speaker 1: the sun don't even be that because the son has
Speaker 1: grown so imagine that I wouldn't even do that ship
Speaker 1: as comfortable as I am with my son's father, me
Speaker 1: and my son and his dad will never go out
Speaker 1: the country. If I'm dating someone, we'll never go out
Speaker 1: the country together unless he taking his girl and I'm
Speaker 1: taking my man. There's no way. I don't care. That's
Speaker 1: just the respect level that I would have for my
Speaker 1: man and that he's supposed to have for his woman.
Speaker 1: That's just what that is. Girl leader, they go along,
Speaker 1: especially if he ain't inviting you, and when they go
Speaker 1: out the country together. Do he called you? Knew he
Speaker 1: talked to girl? Look funk that lay that nigger. That's
Speaker 1: just what that is. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Speaker 1: I'm sorry. Now you cut your story off. But I
Speaker 1: didn't even need to hear nothing else. Suck that. Leave
Speaker 1: that ship alone because I don't have time to girl.
Speaker 1: I ain't got time for that ship. Did y'all hear that?
Speaker 1: That just piss me off? I want to know how
Speaker 1: serious you guys are. And when you say dating, dating
Speaker 1: to me just means you're getting to know a person.
Speaker 1: You know. You could be dating four or five six people.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying. You could be dating a
Speaker 1: lot of people. You could be dating one person if
Speaker 1: you choose the date one person you But are you
Speaker 1: in a relationship. That's the difference, because if you're actually
Speaker 1: in a relationship, that's unacceptable. I mean, come on, come on, seriously,
Speaker 1: ask him? Would he allow the same? If y'all are
Speaker 1: even on those terms, have you ever bought this up
Speaker 1: to him before or is this your first time even
Speaker 1: taking it outside of your relationship bringing it to me?
Speaker 1: I think there needs to be a communication level established.
Speaker 1: I don't think there is one? The fuck? And you
Speaker 1: you say it like this is a regular thing that
Speaker 1: they just be doing and ship that can't be healthy,
Speaker 1: You can't like possibly be happy. The fuck? I don't know.
Speaker 1: You said they're a little too cool? Do you see
Speaker 1: any other signs of anything going on? Like? What the hell?
Speaker 1: And then and then hold up, hold up, let me,
Speaker 1: I think this ship just clicked. I'm gonna say this
Speaker 1: to y'all. I'm gonna leave on this note. Is this
Speaker 1: nigger rich? And is that why you're fucking with him?
Speaker 1: Because he got money? Because if he is frequently taking
Speaker 1: his family, because that's what it is, honey, his family
Speaker 1: out the country, and the way he's presenting the destination
Speaker 1: is setting pictures in front of a baby, a three
Speaker 1: year old who don't even know how to say country,
Speaker 1: probably much less spell it. The fuck this nigga got
Speaker 1: some fucking money. What if she picked Egypt? Is he
Speaker 1: was just gonna go over there because the flight's highs? Hell?
Speaker 1: Because that's where I'm going next week? Hell? Do this
Speaker 1: nigger got money? And is that the reason why you
Speaker 1: fucking win him? Because if that is the reason why
Speaker 1: you with him, girl, you might as well stay where
Speaker 1: you're at. If that's the reason ship, if you really
Speaker 1: love him and you really value loyalty and you value faithfulness,
Speaker 1: leave But if you just win a nigga for his money,
Speaker 1: you can be cool with your baby all day. Baby
Speaker 1: a matter of fact, why y'all go on the trip,
Speaker 1: send me on one so I ain't got to think
Speaker 1: about y'all me. I ain't gotta go with y'all. Go
Speaker 1: just send me on my own and give me another
Speaker 1: ticket so I can take a nigga. What the fuck, girl,
Speaker 1: get your life. But chuck back in because I need
Speaker 1: to know. Do this nigga has ship, And just like that,
Speaker 1: we're gonna end this episode on that note. Y'all tune
Speaker 1: and every Wednesday too Carefully Reckless while you're on your
Speaker 1: way to work at the gym, sitting there doing paperwork,
Speaker 1: on your way to take your babies to school, whenever
Speaker 1: you want to listen to my podcast, it's here and
Speaker 1: it's available, and then my deepest pam Boys piece. Carefully
Speaker 1: Reckless is a production of I Heart Radio and The
Speaker 1: Black Effect. For more podcasts from My Heart Radio, visit
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