1 00:00:13,840 --> 00:00:16,279 Speaker 1: Welcome back you guys. I do Part two. 2 00:00:16,360 --> 00:00:19,240 Speaker 2: It's your celebrity mentor Jen Fessler, and today I am 3 00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:23,240 Speaker 2: joined by two of my friends and you know them 4 00:00:23,239 --> 00:00:25,960 Speaker 2: from the Real Housewives of Orange County. It is Jen 5 00:00:26,040 --> 00:00:31,640 Speaker 2: Pedantry and Ryan. Hi, guys, Hi, how are you? So 6 00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:35,120 Speaker 2: you guys listeners should know that these are actually my friends. 7 00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:38,800 Speaker 2: We have been out to dinner. My husband Jeff just 8 00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:42,159 Speaker 2: adores Ryan. We all adore Jen. I'm happy to have 9 00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:44,080 Speaker 2: you because I know it's been very hard to book 10 00:00:44,120 --> 00:00:44,480 Speaker 2: you guys. 11 00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:45,720 Speaker 1: You have been busy. 12 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:49,000 Speaker 3: Well no, listen, I've been wanting to do this with 13 00:00:49,080 --> 00:00:51,480 Speaker 3: you because one you are my girlfriend. I love doing 14 00:00:51,479 --> 00:00:54,680 Speaker 3: this stuff with you, and two we've not been able 15 00:00:54,680 --> 00:00:55,280 Speaker 3: to make it work. 16 00:00:55,320 --> 00:00:57,400 Speaker 4: So I'm so happy to be here with you today. 17 00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:59,560 Speaker 1: Jen agreed. I know it's hard also when you're filming. 18 00:01:00,400 --> 00:01:03,120 Speaker 2: All right, my friends, So I know you know already 19 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:06,520 Speaker 2: what this podcast is about, but we're really talking. We 20 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:08,960 Speaker 2: talk to people who are on their part two or three, 21 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:12,039 Speaker 2: or four or five. You know, I have shared with 22 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:14,319 Speaker 2: you guys, I'm sort of on my part two. Jeff 23 00:01:14,319 --> 00:01:15,840 Speaker 2: and I were separated for like a year and a 24 00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:18,959 Speaker 2: half and I consider this a part two and I 25 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:20,720 Speaker 2: know that both of you are on your part. 26 00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:20,880 Speaker 5: Two. 27 00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:24,000 Speaker 2: Ryan, I believe you have been married before. I know 28 00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:25,880 Speaker 2: you have two kids, right, Yes. 29 00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:27,839 Speaker 5: I was married for eighteen years. 30 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:31,480 Speaker 1: Okay, wow, Okay, that's a long time. Jen. How are you? 31 00:01:31,520 --> 00:01:32,360 Speaker 1: How long were you married? 32 00:01:32,720 --> 00:01:35,200 Speaker 4: I was married like twenty one years. 33 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:37,639 Speaker 1: Twenty one yeah, a long time. 34 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:38,560 Speaker 4: Twenteen years. 35 00:01:38,800 --> 00:01:41,720 Speaker 2: You guys, before we sort of jump into the two 36 00:01:41,760 --> 00:01:44,800 Speaker 2: of you, and I don't want to be too intrusive, 37 00:01:44,840 --> 00:01:47,000 Speaker 2: but can you tell me a little bit about well Ryan, 38 00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:49,040 Speaker 2: first you because I don't think the viewers really got 39 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:51,760 Speaker 2: to know too much about your first marriage. A little 40 00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:55,000 Speaker 2: bit about I don't know how that was, and not 41 00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:56,559 Speaker 2: too much before he. 42 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:58,560 Speaker 4: Says anything, Can I tell you something? You tell me. 43 00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:02,000 Speaker 4: You're never too intrusive and we would share anything. 44 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,920 Speaker 5: Yeah, ask all the question, ask away. 45 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:06,600 Speaker 1: I love you, guys, Thank you. I'll be sorry you 46 00:02:06,640 --> 00:02:08,320 Speaker 1: said that, not really. 47 00:02:10,200 --> 00:02:10,919 Speaker 5: Tell us again. 48 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:15,640 Speaker 6: Yes, I met her in high school, going into freshman 49 00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:16,360 Speaker 6: year of high school. 50 00:02:16,360 --> 00:02:19,600 Speaker 5: We started dating, ended up married at twelve. 51 00:02:19,600 --> 00:02:22,200 Speaker 2: It's not even high school, going into freshman year, almost 52 00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:23,000 Speaker 2: like middle school. 53 00:02:23,280 --> 00:02:26,640 Speaker 6: Yes, we met essentially in middle school, started dating. We 54 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:29,240 Speaker 6: dated on and off all the way till I was 55 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:30,480 Speaker 6: twenty three and we got. 56 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:32,160 Speaker 1: Married at twenty three. 57 00:02:32,360 --> 00:02:35,360 Speaker 6: Twenty three, yeah, I think married to twenty three. My 58 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:38,640 Speaker 6: first son who's now twenty two, when I was twenty five, 59 00:02:38,919 --> 00:02:41,080 Speaker 6: and then my daughter a year later and she's a 60 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:41,639 Speaker 6: twenty year old. 61 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:45,120 Speaker 2: That's so crazy to me, only because I have a 62 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:49,280 Speaker 2: twenty three year old daughter and I just can't even 63 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:50,280 Speaker 2: imagine that. 64 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:52,440 Speaker 1: But listen, and I was married a little bit late. 65 00:02:52,480 --> 00:02:55,360 Speaker 2: But all right, so you were married a long time, 66 00:02:57,280 --> 00:02:58,680 Speaker 2: which I don't know if that was part of it, 67 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:01,440 Speaker 2: getting married so young. I do hear that story. Sometimes 68 00:03:02,080 --> 00:03:05,760 Speaker 2: people change, things change. Tell me a little bit maybe 69 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:08,320 Speaker 2: about the marriage and when it stopped working. 70 00:03:08,880 --> 00:03:12,640 Speaker 6: You know, Heather, who's my ex, is an amazing woman, 71 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:15,520 Speaker 6: and I'm so grateful for the mom that she is 72 00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:16,000 Speaker 6: and the way. 73 00:03:16,120 --> 00:03:19,239 Speaker 2: I'm not just I'm sorry, but what a lovely, fabulous 74 00:03:19,280 --> 00:03:19,880 Speaker 2: thing to say. 75 00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:23,680 Speaker 6: I just, I mean truly, for someone who has kids 76 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:26,440 Speaker 6: being a father, the world kind of revolves around the 77 00:03:26,520 --> 00:03:29,520 Speaker 6: kids and co parenting. So being on part two and 78 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:33,000 Speaker 6: being able to co parent in a the most healthy 79 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:36,600 Speaker 6: possible way. It hasn't always been easy, but to sit 80 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:38,480 Speaker 6: where we sit now is a gift. But I will 81 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:41,000 Speaker 6: say you mentioned a jen. When you meet someone at 82 00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:44,600 Speaker 6: I don't know, thirteen years old, A lot changes from 83 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:47,680 Speaker 6: you know, thirteen, then married at twenty three and divorced 84 00:03:47,680 --> 00:03:48,080 Speaker 6: at forty. 85 00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:49,880 Speaker 5: Yeah, so a lot changes. 86 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:54,240 Speaker 6: I do take full responsibility for the decline of my. 87 00:03:54,240 --> 00:03:59,240 Speaker 2: Marriage, full responsibility I do anyone fully Is anyone fully responsible? 88 00:03:59,320 --> 00:04:01,400 Speaker 1: That's general I think No, I don't think. 89 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:03,839 Speaker 6: I don't think anyone is fully right because everything, if 90 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:06,760 Speaker 6: you have two people involved, there's you know, personalities and 91 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:10,840 Speaker 6: two different people. But the reason my marriage failed ultimately 92 00:04:11,160 --> 00:04:14,320 Speaker 6: was because of me and my infidelity. So I take 93 00:04:14,320 --> 00:04:19,320 Speaker 6: full responsibility. Should I could I say, Heather, my ex 94 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:20,320 Speaker 6: could have done this or that. 95 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:21,560 Speaker 5: At the end of the day, it's on me. 96 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:24,520 Speaker 1: I can't help it. 97 00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:29,279 Speaker 2: Just that just I find that so well honest of course, 98 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,320 Speaker 2: but admirable and thank you. 99 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:34,480 Speaker 5: I'm not saying it to be admirable. I'm just saying I. 100 00:04:34,440 --> 00:04:36,400 Speaker 1: Know, I understand that, I understand that. 101 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:40,760 Speaker 6: And I would say this looking back now, I'm forty nine, 102 00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:44,440 Speaker 6: so looking through a different lens, looking back nine years ago, 103 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:47,200 Speaker 6: saying when the divorce failed, I don't know if you've 104 00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:48,880 Speaker 6: sat if I sat down at forty with you, if 105 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:51,279 Speaker 6: I would say that, but truly it's how I feel 106 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:54,279 Speaker 6: now looking back through the lens I look through being 107 00:04:54,279 --> 00:04:57,720 Speaker 6: a little bit more responsible and mature. It fell on 108 00:04:57,800 --> 00:05:02,440 Speaker 6: my shoulders, and that's okay, And I'm super grateful Jen 109 00:05:02,560 --> 00:05:07,280 Speaker 6: Moses super honest and transparent with my kids. So we 110 00:05:07,360 --> 00:05:10,040 Speaker 6: have the real conversations as to why it failed, because 111 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:12,200 Speaker 6: they're in just like you said your daughter, they're getting 112 00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:15,240 Speaker 6: to the ages where my son has been dating his 113 00:05:15,360 --> 00:05:17,880 Speaker 6: girl girlfriend for six years and could be in might 114 00:05:17,920 --> 00:05:19,880 Speaker 6: be in that position in the next year or so. 115 00:05:19,880 --> 00:05:23,640 Speaker 6: So I have these very open dialogue conversations with both 116 00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:23,960 Speaker 6: of them. 117 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:30,039 Speaker 2: It's interesting because when I went on Jersey, my kids, 118 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,760 Speaker 2: so this is now got five years ago or something, 119 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:36,360 Speaker 2: but you know, we had a lot of family meetings 120 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:39,280 Speaker 2: about it. But also you know, they at their age 121 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:42,120 Speaker 2: know that, you know, obviously they were there when their 122 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:45,240 Speaker 2: father and I separated, but also they knew that there 123 00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:49,000 Speaker 2: was infidelity and and I mean we did, we got 124 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:52,200 Speaker 2: back together, but I don't remember ever really feeling with 125 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:57,240 Speaker 2: them that like ashamed of it in the sense that 126 00:05:57,279 --> 00:05:59,160 Speaker 2: like I know a lot of parents are, but I felt, like, 127 00:05:59,600 --> 00:06:01,680 Speaker 2: you know, I am at that point, I was an 128 00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:05,840 Speaker 2: adult it was my my you know, my journey and 129 00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:10,039 Speaker 2: my path and it turned out well and it wasn't 130 00:06:10,080 --> 00:06:10,720 Speaker 2: really about them. 131 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:13,000 Speaker 1: A lot of people don't feel that way, right. 132 00:06:12,880 --> 00:06:15,200 Speaker 3: But Jeff and I felt like that, Jen, you feel 133 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:19,279 Speaker 3: like I was opposite you. I felt that I was 134 00:06:19,320 --> 00:06:21,440 Speaker 3: the one that felt the guilt, Like, yeah, you know, 135 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:23,600 Speaker 3: I'm very I'm like Ryan, I'm very transparent with my 136 00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:24,279 Speaker 3: kids as well. 137 00:06:24,279 --> 00:06:27,640 Speaker 4: But there was almost like a for me, like. 138 00:06:29,200 --> 00:06:32,080 Speaker 3: Uh, scarlet letter kind of like I felt like, as 139 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:34,480 Speaker 3: a mom, I'm not supposed to do those types of things, 140 00:06:34,480 --> 00:06:37,840 Speaker 3: and I've let all of these kids down by that 141 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:39,360 Speaker 3: behavior of mine. 142 00:06:39,920 --> 00:06:43,400 Speaker 2: So let me let me maybe part of my attitude 143 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:46,000 Speaker 2: is because we both were unfaithful. 144 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:49,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, So I don't know about Will. 145 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:51,000 Speaker 2: And by the way, you guys, for all you listeners, 146 00:06:51,880 --> 00:06:55,640 Speaker 2: my husband Jeff and knows actually Jen's ex Will. They've done, 147 00:06:55,920 --> 00:06:58,200 Speaker 2: I guess they they've been in not in business together, 148 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:00,400 Speaker 2: but they got to know each other because of their 149 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:04,000 Speaker 2: you know, respected businesses, which is so which is so. 150 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:06,200 Speaker 1: Crazy, right, crazy, just a small world. 151 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:09,440 Speaker 3: He always says the nicest things about Will, and Will 152 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:11,240 Speaker 3: has always said the nicest things as well. 153 00:07:11,320 --> 00:07:14,280 Speaker 2: So yeah, yeah, well I'm going to jump ahead of myself. 154 00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:17,240 Speaker 2: I feel like even you Jen have said really nice 155 00:07:17,240 --> 00:07:21,320 Speaker 2: things about Will and I know that Ryan, You've had 156 00:07:22,280 --> 00:07:24,640 Speaker 2: a relationship, a relationship with him where it feels like 157 00:07:24,640 --> 00:07:25,920 Speaker 2: you've been very respectful of him. 158 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:27,800 Speaker 1: I know there are issues. I watched the show, so 159 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:28,960 Speaker 1: I get that. 160 00:07:30,600 --> 00:07:33,560 Speaker 2: But yeah, with in terms of like the infidelity, I 161 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:35,920 Speaker 2: guess because it was both of us, I felt like 162 00:07:35,960 --> 00:07:39,160 Speaker 2: it was between us when they got older. You know 163 00:07:39,280 --> 00:07:42,920 Speaker 2: what I was I felt guilty about was the separation, right, yeah, right, 164 00:07:43,160 --> 00:07:44,560 Speaker 2: just And I don't know if guilt is the word. 165 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,240 Speaker 2: I mean, I was both my parents combination of seven 166 00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:50,360 Speaker 2: marriages between them, and I kind of thought divorce came 167 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:54,080 Speaker 2: with the territory a little bit. But then watching my 168 00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:57,800 Speaker 2: kids when Jeff moved out was really way harder than 169 00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:00,600 Speaker 2: I expected. But and you know, people of all kinds 170 00:08:00,600 --> 00:08:04,800 Speaker 2: of feelings about it. It was a sad time for sure, 171 00:08:05,120 --> 00:08:07,000 Speaker 2: But you know, we do what we need to do. 172 00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:10,040 Speaker 2: I mean, look at you guys now, and there's something 173 00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:10,720 Speaker 2: to be said for that. 174 00:08:11,160 --> 00:08:12,920 Speaker 3: There is something to be said for that. And we 175 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:15,440 Speaker 3: have some friends who are currently going like starting this 176 00:08:15,480 --> 00:08:19,320 Speaker 3: whole process. And it's interesting because, like Ryan, and I 177 00:08:19,360 --> 00:08:21,560 Speaker 3: always say, it's not like we're some divorce advocates like 178 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:23,920 Speaker 3: if you can do what you guys did and put 179 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,840 Speaker 3: it back together and find happiness and keep the family 180 00:08:26,960 --> 00:08:30,320 Speaker 3: unit one, my gosh, is that not an easier path 181 00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:34,280 Speaker 3: because nobody's kidding themselves, like the second time around it 182 00:08:34,840 --> 00:08:37,240 Speaker 3: it's not easy now. I will say for me, Jen, 183 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:40,679 Speaker 3: like I know now the things that I let go 184 00:08:40,800 --> 00:08:43,160 Speaker 3: for so many years in my marriage that I never 185 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:45,600 Speaker 3: stood up for, I never voiced, or I didn't have 186 00:08:45,679 --> 00:08:48,360 Speaker 3: an expectation on my husband. He doesn't get away with 187 00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:51,640 Speaker 3: any of them now and vice versa. Like it's kind 188 00:08:51,640 --> 00:08:53,320 Speaker 3: of like, this is my second go around at this, 189 00:08:53,480 --> 00:08:56,400 Speaker 3: So it's either you're going to work and what doesn't work, 190 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:58,960 Speaker 3: we're going to figure it out, or this doesn't work. 191 00:08:59,000 --> 00:08:59,560 Speaker 4: I just I don't. 192 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:03,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, I have to tell you, like I know you 193 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:05,480 Speaker 2: so you know, not just as a viewer but as 194 00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:07,559 Speaker 2: a friend. But I don't know that that comes across 195 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:10,480 Speaker 2: on the show. You know, I don't know, what do 196 00:09:10,520 --> 00:09:11,760 Speaker 2: you think, Ran, I don't. 197 00:09:11,840 --> 00:09:12,640 Speaker 5: I don't think it does. 198 00:09:12,800 --> 00:09:16,720 Speaker 6: I think they you know, I'm not talking about editing, 199 00:09:16,800 --> 00:09:18,080 Speaker 6: but I think she's always kind of like the deer 200 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:18,600 Speaker 6: and headlights. 201 00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:20,680 Speaker 5: If it's relationships, yes. 202 00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:24,840 Speaker 1: H yeah, I mean. 203 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:29,240 Speaker 2: I just I feel like that piece of it that 204 00:09:29,320 --> 00:09:31,360 Speaker 2: you know, you learn, you live, you learn, you grow, 205 00:09:31,640 --> 00:09:34,360 Speaker 2: But that piece of your relationship where you're not taking ship, 206 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:38,199 Speaker 2: you know, is so important and different. 207 00:09:38,240 --> 00:09:41,080 Speaker 4: And you know, but I think I'm sounding like I'm something. 208 00:09:41,600 --> 00:09:44,040 Speaker 1: Not that you gave her any Ryan, No, he gives me. 209 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:47,120 Speaker 4: I give him too, John Like, it's and here's the 210 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:48,080 Speaker 4: other thing I want to say. 211 00:09:48,480 --> 00:09:52,719 Speaker 3: It's not that I left this horrific marriage and now 212 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:54,880 Speaker 3: I found the most perfect person in the world. Listen, 213 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:59,920 Speaker 3: Every relationship comes with their quirks, their their hang up 214 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:04,079 Speaker 3: so it's it's like finding the person that their hang 215 00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:07,440 Speaker 3: ups are okay for you or he's willing to work 216 00:10:07,480 --> 00:10:09,200 Speaker 3: through it with me. Like my ex husband, I had 217 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:12,559 Speaker 3: zero communication. I couldn't get will to have a conversation 218 00:10:12,679 --> 00:10:15,960 Speaker 3: with me to save my life. This guy, I'm like, 219 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:17,040 Speaker 3: but I'm not done talking. 220 00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:17,720 Speaker 4: But I'm not done. 221 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:19,360 Speaker 3: I wait, hold on, I have one more question. And 222 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,520 Speaker 3: I drive him a little bananas with it. But he 223 00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:25,200 Speaker 3: knows that's kind of a thing for me, and he's 224 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:29,440 Speaker 3: he is naturally a communicator, so it works so much better. 225 00:10:29,480 --> 00:10:31,440 Speaker 3: It's not that it's perfect, it's that I have the 226 00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:34,760 Speaker 3: ability to communicate and inside this dynamic with Ryan. 227 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:35,600 Speaker 1: Yeah. 228 00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:38,640 Speaker 2: And also I feel like Ryan, you are a communicator, 229 00:10:38,880 --> 00:10:41,280 Speaker 2: like at least that's again, well I know you are, 230 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:44,120 Speaker 2: but that's how I feel like viewers feel like you 231 00:10:44,160 --> 00:10:47,959 Speaker 2: do like to communicate, like to sort of work things through, 232 00:10:48,320 --> 00:10:51,840 Speaker 2: have have some kind of you're in touch with your 233 00:10:52,040 --> 00:10:53,959 Speaker 2: emotional you know side. 234 00:10:54,040 --> 00:10:55,280 Speaker 1: And I don't want to. 235 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:57,480 Speaker 2: Say you're a feminine side, but you're like you're just 236 00:10:57,520 --> 00:10:59,600 Speaker 2: you seem like that guide to me, like you are. 237 00:11:00,200 --> 00:11:02,840 Speaker 6: I appreciate you saying that. And I can say that 238 00:11:03,360 --> 00:11:09,960 Speaker 6: probably wasn't that probably wasn't true. In my thirties and 239 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:13,080 Speaker 6: till I got divorced, A lot changed after that, A 240 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:16,920 Speaker 6: lot of self introspection changed of who I wanted to be. 241 00:11:17,800 --> 00:11:18,440 Speaker 5: Jen knows this. 242 00:11:18,559 --> 00:11:20,800 Speaker 6: I think the former me, I would say, and I 243 00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:24,520 Speaker 6: know that sounds weird. I was wearing a mask at 244 00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:28,000 Speaker 6: all times, just trying to be a people pleaser, being 245 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:31,600 Speaker 6: kind of yes that yes guy. And it was at 246 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:34,720 Speaker 6: forty with a divorce where I just said, I just 247 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:38,080 Speaker 6: want to be better, a better version of me. I 248 00:11:38,080 --> 00:11:39,920 Speaker 6: want to be more authentic, I want to be honest 249 00:11:39,920 --> 00:11:43,080 Speaker 6: in all aspects of my life, and I didn't know 250 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:43,880 Speaker 6: that was possible. 251 00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:47,679 Speaker 5: And then meeting Jen and having the ability to communicate. 252 00:11:47,760 --> 00:11:50,880 Speaker 6: I know everyone says this, everyone hears, and everyone says 253 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,400 Speaker 6: relationships are work. I actually feel like, and this isn't 254 00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:57,559 Speaker 6: lip service, my relationship or the one that I'm in 255 00:11:57,600 --> 00:12:00,520 Speaker 6: with Jen, is not work because we're work as something 256 00:12:00,559 --> 00:12:02,720 Speaker 6: like you go punch a time card, and I never 257 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:04,840 Speaker 6: feel I'm doing that, even if it's the moments where 258 00:12:04,880 --> 00:12:08,600 Speaker 6: Jen wants to over communicate, or you know, sometimes I 259 00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:11,800 Speaker 6: just beat something till there's nothing left to talk about. 260 00:12:11,920 --> 00:12:14,280 Speaker 5: I still don't find it work. I'm so very interesting. 261 00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:16,160 Speaker 2: That's such an interest point because guess what, as you're 262 00:12:16,160 --> 00:12:20,679 Speaker 2: saying that, I'm thinking I don't find it work, but 263 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:23,120 Speaker 2: I'm saying it's not. We don't fight. I'm not saying 264 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:25,600 Speaker 2: we don't have hard moments. I'm not saying it doesn't, 265 00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:27,559 Speaker 2: you know, frustrate the shit out of me, and certainly 266 00:12:27,559 --> 00:12:30,040 Speaker 2: I do him, But I don't know. 267 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:32,800 Speaker 1: I don't. I don't think of it like that either. 268 00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:35,600 Speaker 6: Yeah, but we've all heard it right. Relationships are work. 269 00:12:35,679 --> 00:12:38,719 Speaker 6: Marriage is work. And I am so grateful to sit 270 00:12:38,800 --> 00:12:41,880 Speaker 6: here this second go around and say it's not work. 271 00:12:41,920 --> 00:12:44,920 Speaker 6: I also didn't know. And this is something I learned 272 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:48,680 Speaker 6: about me along the way. Not a knock on my 273 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:52,320 Speaker 6: first wife, Heather, but just more about learning me. I 274 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:56,480 Speaker 6: didn't think it was possible to be in a relationship 275 00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:58,280 Speaker 6: with your actual best friend. 276 00:12:59,040 --> 00:13:01,440 Speaker 5: I used to do and do all the had. 277 00:13:01,559 --> 00:13:03,319 Speaker 6: You know, my first phone call was to my buddies, 278 00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:06,560 Speaker 6: and probably the first three phone calls would be to 279 00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:09,920 Speaker 6: my buddies versus my ex wife. My first phone call 280 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:13,760 Speaker 6: now good, bad, indifferent in the middle. My first opportunity 281 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:17,200 Speaker 6: to spend time is with Jen, and I'm so grateful 282 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:19,160 Speaker 6: for that and the fact that we're able to do 283 00:13:19,200 --> 00:13:24,560 Speaker 6: it with our schedules with seven kids. I attribute and 284 00:13:24,720 --> 00:13:26,680 Speaker 6: I am so grateful for Jen of that because she 285 00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:30,320 Speaker 6: creates the time and makes the time. It makes me 286 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:42,000 Speaker 6: feel like had very special in that way. 287 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:47,640 Speaker 2: I was just recently in LA and we did and 288 00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:50,719 Speaker 2: I do Part two with a bunch of hosts, and 289 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:54,240 Speaker 2: we were talking a lot about this like the change 290 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:56,920 Speaker 2: and when there's a like for me a spark right now, 291 00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:59,199 Speaker 2: and a lot of people talk about the spark, and 292 00:13:59,240 --> 00:14:01,320 Speaker 2: I know you guys had a lot of chemistry when 293 00:14:01,320 --> 00:14:04,400 Speaker 2: you met, but a spark now is this feeling of 294 00:14:06,559 --> 00:14:08,840 Speaker 2: not only peace of my life, but I really like Jeff. 295 00:14:09,040 --> 00:14:12,320 Speaker 2: I like spending time with him, like I really respect him, 296 00:14:12,400 --> 00:14:15,240 Speaker 2: and I really like him, and of course I love 297 00:14:15,320 --> 00:14:19,760 Speaker 2: him as well. And I think that's like what you're describing, 298 00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:22,520 Speaker 2: wanting to spend time with Jeff. With Jeff, I'm sorry 299 00:14:22,520 --> 00:14:26,440 Speaker 2: with Jen, but enjoying that time. You know, I am 300 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:28,680 Speaker 2: getting to the point of my life where I just 301 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:33,320 Speaker 2: I can't stand most people, so which you know I can't. 302 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:35,400 Speaker 2: I can barely have people come and spend the night 303 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:36,960 Speaker 2: in my house anymore. Like I just I have no 304 00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:40,120 Speaker 2: or stay in people's homes when I travel. But I 305 00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:44,720 Speaker 2: can do all of that with Jeff. And and we 306 00:14:44,840 --> 00:14:47,600 Speaker 2: are you know, we're just symbiotic. I mean we are 307 00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:50,120 Speaker 2: man and wife or husband and wife, excuse me. But 308 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:53,200 Speaker 2: also just I enjoy him. I enjoy his company, which 309 00:14:53,280 --> 00:14:54,560 Speaker 2: is such a pleasure, you know. 310 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,840 Speaker 3: Well he It's so funny for Riot because I'm sure 311 00:14:57,920 --> 00:15:00,600 Speaker 3: through the show people have seen or made the assumption 312 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:03,160 Speaker 3: like before me, Ryan had this big past, you know, 313 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:06,680 Speaker 3: and his big past was chasing women and sunshine and 314 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:09,840 Speaker 3: vacation and you know, all his all his. 315 00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:11,960 Speaker 4: Past girlfriends and whatever. 316 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:15,040 Speaker 3: And it's so funny because it's so cute to me 317 00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:17,200 Speaker 3: now because he tells me all the time like you're 318 00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:19,800 Speaker 3: my best friend, like you're you're the whole, like you're everything, 319 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:20,760 Speaker 3: like everything's in you. 320 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:23,080 Speaker 4: And I'm like, I know, babe, or that for me too. 321 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:25,480 Speaker 3: But he had like like you're saying, he had the 322 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:27,320 Speaker 3: ex wife and then he had his guy friends, and 323 00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:28,720 Speaker 3: then he had the girls he would chase. 324 00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:31,680 Speaker 4: But I know him so well he was. 325 00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:35,320 Speaker 3: Just chasing and feeling boyds when really the boid he 326 00:15:35,440 --> 00:15:38,840 Speaker 3: was really chasing after was figuring out him, like who 327 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:39,280 Speaker 3: was he? 328 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,280 Speaker 4: Who's Ryan? Who's the hole Ryan? 329 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:44,440 Speaker 3: And he'll tell me all the time like you're home, 330 00:15:44,640 --> 00:15:46,960 Speaker 3: Like he always tells me like you're home for me 331 00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:50,680 Speaker 3: and and I know that, like I and when. 332 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:52,680 Speaker 1: That's how it feels, right, I know that, yes is 333 00:15:52,720 --> 00:15:53,400 Speaker 1: how it feels. 334 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:55,840 Speaker 2: Do you guys have ever go through either one of 335 00:15:55,880 --> 00:15:57,800 Speaker 2: you have do therapy at all? 336 00:15:58,080 --> 00:15:59,280 Speaker 4: Oh my god, we love therapy. 337 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:04,160 Speaker 6: It is actually my therapist who would say, you're chasing ghosts, 338 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:06,560 Speaker 6: like what you're doing and you come in here and 339 00:16:06,600 --> 00:16:08,080 Speaker 6: you have the highs and the lows, but at the 340 00:16:08,160 --> 00:16:09,760 Speaker 6: end of the day. Take a look in the mirror, 341 00:16:09,760 --> 00:16:12,280 Speaker 6: it's you and number two what you're chasing as a 342 00:16:12,320 --> 00:16:13,840 Speaker 6: ghost and. 343 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:16,080 Speaker 1: Does that does she mean it? Does she mean it? 344 00:16:16,080 --> 00:16:18,640 Speaker 1: When you were chasing women or just chasing. 345 00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:21,920 Speaker 6: Everything, chasing everything, a new car, you know, and whatever 346 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,800 Speaker 6: it is sometimes as males. 347 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:24,960 Speaker 5: And they call it. You know what do they call it? 348 00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:25,880 Speaker 5: When we go through mid. 349 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:28,040 Speaker 1: Life christis you start. 350 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:31,680 Speaker 6: Like, it's just amazing when someone can sit down and 351 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:33,920 Speaker 6: you you mentioned it earlier, Jen, and I'm grateful that 352 00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:37,520 Speaker 6: I have a very spiritual side and a faith based 353 00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:40,000 Speaker 6: side that I can sit down with my therapist or 354 00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:42,200 Speaker 6: I respect in that way. Agendas too were the same 355 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:45,680 Speaker 6: one and she can say it's you, buddy, look in 356 00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:50,520 Speaker 6: the mirror, you're the problem, and ye're when you're in 357 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:53,160 Speaker 6: position to hear it, and it actually moves the meter 358 00:16:53,320 --> 00:16:56,040 Speaker 6: in your own like soul and you're like, I want 359 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:56,680 Speaker 6: to be different. 360 00:16:57,480 --> 00:16:59,440 Speaker 5: It just changes a lot of things. 361 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:04,119 Speaker 2: I hope that next season you guys get to showcase 362 00:17:04,440 --> 00:17:06,480 Speaker 2: some of this because. 363 00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:08,880 Speaker 1: It's so Maybe it's. 364 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:10,880 Speaker 2: Because I love you, but it's just it's so endearing, 365 00:17:11,040 --> 00:17:13,800 Speaker 2: you know, I love I love just hearing about this 366 00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:17,359 Speaker 2: and these parts of your relationship as opposed to I 367 00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:19,760 Speaker 2: don't know, whatever other mess. 368 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,760 Speaker 4: It's funny when you talk about the spark. 369 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:23,800 Speaker 3: I feel like people look at Ryan and I like 370 00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:27,760 Speaker 3: it's like some sexual thing constantly with Ryan and I 371 00:17:27,760 --> 00:17:31,159 Speaker 3: and no, kid yourself, I have that with him. But 372 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:33,520 Speaker 3: and it is different I think for men and women. 373 00:17:33,520 --> 00:17:36,560 Speaker 3: But like what you're saying, Jen, like my spark is 374 00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:39,480 Speaker 3: to be five years in with this man and I'm 375 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:42,199 Speaker 3: safe and what he tells me he does. Like if 376 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:45,440 Speaker 3: Ryan tells me something's going to happen, I know that 377 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:46,200 Speaker 3: that's accurate. 378 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:47,880 Speaker 4: I'm safe. 379 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,200 Speaker 2: That's so important, Jen. But you just say that is 380 00:17:50,359 --> 00:17:52,600 Speaker 2: I know, be able to count on him like that? 381 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:53,320 Speaker 1: I know it is. 382 00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:57,080 Speaker 2: Yes, I still appreciate that to this day, that I know, 383 00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,679 Speaker 2: no matter what, I can count on Jeff Bessler. 384 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:00,919 Speaker 1: Listen. 385 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:02,840 Speaker 2: I have a lot of friends who have been divorced 386 00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:07,199 Speaker 2: and they speak to that, right, like how important that 387 00:18:07,359 --> 00:18:10,800 Speaker 2: is that you know? I remember when Jeff and I 388 00:18:10,880 --> 00:18:15,280 Speaker 2: first got together, so silly, but we were engaged and 389 00:18:15,320 --> 00:18:19,600 Speaker 2: I had moved to his place in Jersey and I 390 00:18:19,720 --> 00:18:21,280 Speaker 2: just started a new job, and he said to me, 391 00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:23,080 Speaker 2: like at the beginning of the day, He's like, well, 392 00:18:23,119 --> 00:18:24,320 Speaker 2: you know, I'll take you, I'll show you where to 393 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:26,639 Speaker 2: catch the bus or whatever. And I remember thinking in 394 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:28,600 Speaker 2: my head, for some reason, he's not going to remember 395 00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:29,040 Speaker 2: to do that. 396 00:18:29,400 --> 00:18:31,280 Speaker 1: Like most boyfriends I had had. 397 00:18:31,359 --> 00:18:33,960 Speaker 2: Really give a shit, right, And I just I always think, 398 00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,639 Speaker 2: like when I'm talking about this, I remember at the 399 00:18:36,680 --> 00:18:37,800 Speaker 2: end of the day and it was late, like we've 400 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:39,679 Speaker 2: been out all day. It was like seven o'clock and 401 00:18:39,680 --> 00:18:41,399 Speaker 2: he's like, all right, let's go by. And I just 402 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:43,879 Speaker 2: silly things like that that always stick with me. If 403 00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:47,880 Speaker 2: Jeff says he's going to do something, he just does it, period, 404 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:49,280 Speaker 2: and I appreciate it. 405 00:18:49,280 --> 00:18:52,720 Speaker 3: And I feel like for women that translates in my 406 00:18:53,880 --> 00:18:57,080 Speaker 3: marriage to my husband. At first, like it was intimacy 407 00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:59,280 Speaker 3: was used to like just get attention from him. Then 408 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:02,000 Speaker 3: I got so that like we would have intimacy but 409 00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:05,000 Speaker 3: no time together. Then I would be like, Okay, I 410 00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:07,320 Speaker 3: don't even now because what you say doesn't happen. 411 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:08,479 Speaker 4: We're never together. 412 00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:11,119 Speaker 3: I don't feel it being intimate with you. And I 413 00:19:11,119 --> 00:19:13,360 Speaker 3: would say to anybody that's on number two or number 414 00:19:13,359 --> 00:19:16,879 Speaker 3: three or number ten, do what you say, say what 415 00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:19,880 Speaker 3: you mean, and put the time in, because now it's 416 00:19:19,920 --> 00:19:22,240 Speaker 3: like I can't believe I'm five years and I still 417 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:25,080 Speaker 3: have butterflies. But it's not just the sexual side of it. 418 00:19:25,080 --> 00:19:28,520 Speaker 3: It's the Yeah, it's who he is with me, with 419 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:30,440 Speaker 3: my kids. I look at him and I'm like, oh 420 00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:33,159 Speaker 3: my gosh, that's all mine. And I'm not talking about 421 00:19:33,359 --> 00:19:35,960 Speaker 3: the man sitting poolside and his wareshorts hot as hell 422 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:36,240 Speaker 3: to me. 423 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:38,080 Speaker 4: I'm talking about the man in my home. 424 00:19:38,560 --> 00:19:41,120 Speaker 3: And when I feel like for women, there's the spark, right, 425 00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:43,560 Speaker 3: like you're gonna lit a spark, like do something and 426 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:45,600 Speaker 3: say what you do or do what you say. 427 00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:48,640 Speaker 4: She is going to be like, I'm that that is mine. 428 00:19:48,920 --> 00:19:51,080 Speaker 1: Like I tell that to my kids. 429 00:19:51,560 --> 00:19:54,400 Speaker 2: I tell it specifically to my daughter, like, yes, you're 430 00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:57,560 Speaker 2: gonna fall with your heart and with your body. Yeah, 431 00:19:57,720 --> 00:20:00,480 Speaker 2: you gotta just try if you can, and at this 432 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:04,600 Speaker 2: young age to not be completely controlled by that to think, 433 00:20:04,960 --> 00:20:06,680 Speaker 2: you know, and my grandmother used to say to me 434 00:20:07,320 --> 00:20:10,760 Speaker 2: all the time, he doesn't have to be rich, he 435 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:15,920 Speaker 2: has to be ambitious, he doesn't have to be I 436 00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:17,560 Speaker 2: don't know. A million things like that that I always 437 00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:20,040 Speaker 2: took with me, and I try to sort of, you know, 438 00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:23,320 Speaker 2: put to give them my kids those same values anyway, 439 00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:26,480 Speaker 2: not about me moving on, since we're talking about ten 440 00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:30,320 Speaker 2: million kids between you, how did the mix go guys, 441 00:20:30,400 --> 00:20:33,600 Speaker 2: like from the beginning, well, go ahead. 442 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:35,920 Speaker 6: We were just talking about it yesterday to a friend 443 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:39,080 Speaker 6: who the one Jen mentioned is going through divorce right now. 444 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:39,360 Speaker 1: Yeah. 445 00:20:41,119 --> 00:20:42,200 Speaker 5: I think it was so organic. 446 00:20:42,880 --> 00:20:45,800 Speaker 4: We let it be organic, so there was no forcing it. 447 00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:47,800 Speaker 3: It was kind of like the kids knew about Ryan, 448 00:20:48,160 --> 00:20:51,880 Speaker 3: Ryan's kids knew about me, and then there was never 449 00:20:52,080 --> 00:20:53,920 Speaker 3: like a we are going to dinner and you guys 450 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:56,320 Speaker 3: are going to meet and I have by Ryan has two, 451 00:20:56,840 --> 00:20:59,879 Speaker 3: so it was a weird. One would be kind of 452 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:02,639 Speaker 3: ready and then that would be like a hangout with that. 453 00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:06,640 Speaker 3: And it took time, though, Jen. And there's this one 454 00:21:06,760 --> 00:21:09,520 Speaker 3: trip when my daughter was on board, ready to go, 455 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:13,600 Speaker 3: loved him, and it was our first travel trip together 456 00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:16,119 Speaker 3: and we went to Vegas with my daughter and her 457 00:21:16,160 --> 00:21:20,480 Speaker 3: girlfriend and I remember Ryan, when we were holding hands 458 00:21:20,720 --> 00:21:23,680 Speaker 3: and walking down Vegas, my daughter shut down like that 459 00:21:23,880 --> 00:21:26,520 Speaker 3: was it. And so that trip took a turn we 460 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:29,520 Speaker 3: didn't anticipate. So it was a lot of me with Evvy's, 461 00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:31,560 Speaker 3: a lot of talking with her. I think it was 462 00:21:31,640 --> 00:21:35,280 Speaker 3: the realization of seeing mom, not with dad, but seeing 463 00:21:35,359 --> 00:21:37,760 Speaker 3: mom like with Ryan like I'm holding Ryan's hand, I'm 464 00:21:37,760 --> 00:21:40,760 Speaker 3: walking with Ryan, I'm and that was emotional for her, 465 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:44,280 Speaker 3: and I just think the best thing my advice is 466 00:21:44,720 --> 00:21:46,680 Speaker 3: you've got to let the kids feel what they feel. 467 00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:49,160 Speaker 3: There's no way to make it right when it's wrong. 468 00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:52,159 Speaker 3: There's no way to make them. You just have to 469 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,679 Speaker 3: let it be and they do come around. I mean 470 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,520 Speaker 3: we were faced with early on Jen. Will set the 471 00:21:57,600 --> 00:21:59,200 Speaker 3: kids down and he was like, this is who took 472 00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:02,080 Speaker 3: your mom. This is he's a bad man. And you 473 00:22:02,280 --> 00:22:05,800 Speaker 3: told me, you said it's hurt from Will's just hurt, 474 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,080 Speaker 3: and this is what he's That's okay, he's just hurt 475 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:09,879 Speaker 3: right now, and we're going to keep showing up for 476 00:22:09,960 --> 00:22:11,280 Speaker 3: these kids for time. 477 00:22:11,320 --> 00:22:14,520 Speaker 4: They'll see it and I'm telling you, it just took the. 478 00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:15,200 Speaker 1: Time, and they do. 479 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:18,000 Speaker 6: I would say for me, it was more of like 480 00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:21,320 Speaker 6: a three pronged approach. My two kids at the time 481 00:22:22,359 --> 00:22:25,680 Speaker 6: Jen entered my life. I'm now four years divorced, so 482 00:22:25,840 --> 00:22:30,679 Speaker 6: my kids were ready and open for dad to meet somebody. 483 00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:35,040 Speaker 6: Jen's kids met me at a time where yeah, so 484 00:22:35,119 --> 00:22:36,080 Speaker 6: it was that parncy. 485 00:22:36,480 --> 00:22:38,800 Speaker 5: It was chaos because Jen left her marriage and went 486 00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:39,280 Speaker 5: right to me. 487 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:43,800 Speaker 6: So the kids didn't have this rougher time of Hey, 488 00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:45,840 Speaker 6: mom and dad have been separated, divorced for a year 489 00:22:45,920 --> 00:22:48,440 Speaker 6: or two and now mom met somebody. There was not that, 490 00:22:48,680 --> 00:22:51,280 Speaker 6: So I think first prong would be my kids were 491 00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:54,480 Speaker 6: open ready, and it was so easy for my kids 492 00:22:54,560 --> 00:22:57,520 Speaker 6: in Jen and I and then Jen's youngest two at 493 00:22:57,560 --> 00:23:01,240 Speaker 6: the time, Jeez Dom's eleven now it was five, and 494 00:23:01,680 --> 00:23:04,040 Speaker 6: Eddie is fifteen. She was like nine. 495 00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,879 Speaker 5: They were much more easy and open and it was 496 00:23:08,000 --> 00:23:12,639 Speaker 5: her older boys, I think boys in general, but their ages. 497 00:23:12,720 --> 00:23:15,240 Speaker 6: Made that a little bit more, that runway a little 498 00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:18,040 Speaker 6: bit longer for them to who is this guy, what's 499 00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:18,480 Speaker 6: he here for? 500 00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:19,600 Speaker 5: And I can respect that. 501 00:23:19,800 --> 00:23:21,960 Speaker 6: So I think in the three prong approach, we just 502 00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:25,240 Speaker 6: let it continue to unfold without having any. 503 00:23:25,640 --> 00:23:28,720 Speaker 4: You know, expectation, expectation or timelines. 504 00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:30,280 Speaker 5: And it's been it worked in our favor. 505 00:23:40,640 --> 00:23:43,840 Speaker 2: I said earlier that I didn't I don't feel guilty 506 00:23:43,880 --> 00:23:46,880 Speaker 2: to my kids about the infidelities. I feel guilty though, 507 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,239 Speaker 2: about some of the ways in which I handled them 508 00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:51,680 Speaker 2: when we were separated, because I had a boyfriend and 509 00:23:52,600 --> 00:23:58,440 Speaker 2: he became part of the household, and I definitely, looking back, 510 00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:02,280 Speaker 2: have guilt about that. For allowing that even though and 511 00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:08,720 Speaker 2: my kids were really young and well like seven and nine, 512 00:24:08,800 --> 00:24:13,359 Speaker 2: so not quite as young as yours, but so they 513 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:15,879 Speaker 2: really didn't even have I don't think like the wherewithal 514 00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:19,760 Speaker 2: to say we don't like this right, But I should 515 00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:23,760 Speaker 2: have had the wherewithal to say this needs more time 516 00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:26,200 Speaker 2: to breathe. And I got very wrapped up in this 517 00:24:26,880 --> 00:24:31,359 Speaker 2: boyfriend and it wasn't not blaming him, but we moved 518 00:24:31,520 --> 00:24:32,800 Speaker 2: very quickly into this thing. 519 00:24:33,080 --> 00:24:36,760 Speaker 1: And so I don't have, like I said, guilt. 520 00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:39,359 Speaker 2: I do have guilt, not, you know, not when it 521 00:24:39,440 --> 00:24:41,639 Speaker 2: comes to maybe some of the infidelities and things that 522 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:43,359 Speaker 2: happened between me and Jeff, I feel like they're between 523 00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:46,080 Speaker 2: me and Jeff. But the things that I guess affected 524 00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:47,760 Speaker 2: my kids, I do, and I get that, gen You're 525 00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:50,200 Speaker 2: not alone because I made mistakes in that area as well. 526 00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:53,280 Speaker 4: I think mom guilt is like such a thing. I 527 00:24:53,600 --> 00:24:54,080 Speaker 4: still do it. 528 00:24:54,160 --> 00:24:56,720 Speaker 3: I just told him yesterday. I used to be like 529 00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,600 Speaker 3: the Christmas mom, I mean, freaking miss clause here. 530 00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,919 Speaker 4: Now I can see that dress around money. 531 00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:03,960 Speaker 1: Is it enough? 532 00:25:04,200 --> 00:25:05,680 Speaker 4: Is it the Christmases they used to have. 533 00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:08,200 Speaker 3: I mom guilt myself, like, well, I just want the 534 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:10,040 Speaker 3: holidays done because I need to know it was enough 535 00:25:10,080 --> 00:25:11,879 Speaker 3: that they're happy and they felt like it was Christmas, 536 00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:12,240 Speaker 3: damn it. 537 00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:13,280 Speaker 4: And I did enough. 538 00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:15,800 Speaker 3: But I don't know why we do that, Jeff, Like 539 00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:19,400 Speaker 3: I can mom guilt myself over anything, and I feel 540 00:25:19,440 --> 00:25:21,600 Speaker 3: like I want to. That is something I want to 541 00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:23,760 Speaker 3: get better at because I know you and I know me. 542 00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:24,800 Speaker 3: We're damn good moms. 543 00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:27,240 Speaker 1: Yeah, And I don't know why we do that. 544 00:25:27,320 --> 00:25:29,720 Speaker 4: I don't feel like men do that as much as 545 00:25:30,119 --> 00:25:32,440 Speaker 4: women do. Like dad, guilt is not a thing, No, 546 00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:33,920 Speaker 4: not like that. 547 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:37,680 Speaker 2: Uh, Jeff Fessler is as perfect a father as I 548 00:25:37,720 --> 00:25:39,680 Speaker 2: could have ever hoped for. And I am not a 549 00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:43,560 Speaker 2: perfect mother. So you know it's like I try, I 550 00:25:43,680 --> 00:25:45,720 Speaker 2: think to myself, I can't imagine him. I try to 551 00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:47,359 Speaker 2: guilt him sometimes, but he is nothing. 552 00:25:47,960 --> 00:25:49,919 Speaker 5: It doesn't want work, No, he. 553 00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:51,879 Speaker 2: Just has nothing to feel to feel guilty about. But 554 00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:53,840 Speaker 2: I make plenty of mistakes and have had plenty of 555 00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:55,840 Speaker 2: guilt as a mom. 556 00:25:57,200 --> 00:25:58,000 Speaker 1: You know over them. 557 00:25:58,040 --> 00:25:59,960 Speaker 2: I know that that you're right. That is that is 558 00:26:00,160 --> 00:26:01,720 Speaker 2: so so common. Gen I look at you and I 559 00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:04,320 Speaker 2: think you must be and I see it on TV. 560 00:26:04,440 --> 00:26:09,400 Speaker 2: But the most loving, devoted mother, just the whole way 561 00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:11,639 Speaker 2: you have about you, and I see it in your 562 00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:13,280 Speaker 2: relationships with your kids on TV. 563 00:26:14,080 --> 00:26:14,800 Speaker 1: So interesting. 564 00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:17,920 Speaker 2: And I had a mother who listen, she had a 565 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:21,280 Speaker 2: lot to deal with and it wasn't great a my 566 00:26:21,359 --> 00:26:24,080 Speaker 2: house growing up. And my therapist always says to me, 567 00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:26,720 Speaker 2: it's not very easy to break that. It's certainly it's 568 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:31,560 Speaker 2: very difficult to break patterns. And I do know that 569 00:26:31,720 --> 00:26:34,159 Speaker 2: I've been a very good mom, and I know that 570 00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:37,440 Speaker 2: it was without really working hard on myself, I wouldn't 571 00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:39,679 Speaker 2: have been the mom that I've been. But I've been 572 00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:41,560 Speaker 2: in therapy for so many years and it's helped me 573 00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:45,520 Speaker 2: so much. And I think that specifically, I speak so 574 00:26:45,640 --> 00:26:48,240 Speaker 2: much about my kids in therapy and I get so 575 00:26:48,359 --> 00:26:51,800 Speaker 2: much great feedback and that has really helped me. But 576 00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:53,800 Speaker 2: with all of that, gen, You're right, we all have 577 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:55,639 Speaker 2: mom guilt, and Ryan, I would think you have some 578 00:26:55,800 --> 00:26:56,320 Speaker 2: dad guilt. 579 00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:59,680 Speaker 6: I mean, oh, definitely, especially in the beginning, right because 580 00:26:59,720 --> 00:27:02,159 Speaker 6: I was a doer. I'm the one that wanted the divorce. 581 00:27:02,200 --> 00:27:04,960 Speaker 6: I definitely like some guilt. I think fast forward now, 582 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:07,199 Speaker 6: and this is the great part about you can attest 583 00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:08,760 Speaker 6: to this gen with your kids being the age as 584 00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:11,399 Speaker 6: they are, they're now at ages where we're parents and 585 00:27:11,560 --> 00:27:14,320 Speaker 6: we're friends. Yeah, And I enjoy my kids so much. 586 00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,720 Speaker 6: They actually I want to go to dinner with my kids, 587 00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:19,040 Speaker 6: where before it's like we got to take the kids 588 00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:21,280 Speaker 6: dinner and feed them. Now it's like, you know, we 589 00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:23,719 Speaker 6: want them when we get to bring them with us, 590 00:27:24,280 --> 00:27:27,399 Speaker 6: the older ones, especially, just because the dialogue communication is different. 591 00:27:27,760 --> 00:27:30,280 Speaker 6: My kids would sit here with us today and have 592 00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:33,280 Speaker 6: told us I can't even imagine you a mom being together. 593 00:27:33,440 --> 00:27:36,400 Speaker 6: You're so different as people. Mom's great in her way 594 00:27:36,480 --> 00:27:39,040 Speaker 6: and you're great in your way. But I can't even imagine. 595 00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:41,119 Speaker 6: And they were old enough when we were obviously together, 596 00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:42,800 Speaker 6: they just can't see it. So it's cool that they 597 00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:46,080 Speaker 6: can mature through it, and that erode some of the 598 00:27:46,119 --> 00:27:48,040 Speaker 6: guilt that we may put on ourselves. When the kids 599 00:27:48,119 --> 00:27:50,840 Speaker 6: can say, oh, mom's so happy, Mom's doing great. I 600 00:27:50,840 --> 00:27:53,080 Speaker 6: couldn't even imagine you a mom together that type thing. 601 00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:55,720 Speaker 1: Ah, I totally can imagine. That's such a relief. 602 00:27:55,720 --> 00:27:57,919 Speaker 2: It's so interesting because even like in this Ryan, you're 603 00:27:57,960 --> 00:28:00,680 Speaker 2: so honest, Like when they were younger, it's like kids 604 00:28:00,680 --> 00:28:05,040 Speaker 2: out to dinner with Yeah, right, that is the truth 605 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:06,840 Speaker 2: of it, and it is I mean, I said to 606 00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:09,240 Speaker 2: Rachel my daughter yesterday, I'm like, I can't. We like 607 00:28:09,320 --> 00:28:11,960 Speaker 2: opened a bottle of wine. I'm like every time i 608 00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:14,680 Speaker 2: feel like like I'm drinking wine and then I'm like, 609 00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:20,400 Speaker 2: wait a second, Yeah, yeah, it's incredible. We also smoke 610 00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:21,359 Speaker 2: pot for the first time. 611 00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:25,119 Speaker 4: Together, so that was Actually, that's hilarious. 612 00:28:25,680 --> 00:28:29,640 Speaker 2: I shouldn't admitted that on the pod, but anyway, anyway, anyway, 613 00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:33,159 Speaker 2: I wish, I really do that we had seen more 614 00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:35,080 Speaker 2: of you with Ryan, with your relationship with your kids 615 00:28:35,080 --> 00:28:35,360 Speaker 2: on the show. 616 00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:36,800 Speaker 1: I don't know if they are. Maybe they're not interested 617 00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:37,359 Speaker 1: in being on it. 618 00:28:38,520 --> 00:28:40,840 Speaker 5: So my son is a senior in college, so he's 619 00:28:40,920 --> 00:28:41,400 Speaker 5: not you know. 620 00:28:41,480 --> 00:28:44,200 Speaker 6: We filmed our gene typically films from let's call it 621 00:28:44,280 --> 00:28:47,560 Speaker 6: February to May, and he's in school so he's not here. 622 00:28:48,480 --> 00:28:52,000 Speaker 5: And then my daughter, twenty years old is has a 623 00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:52,760 Speaker 5: full time job. 624 00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:55,680 Speaker 6: So it's tough. Both of them would be interested if 625 00:28:55,680 --> 00:29:00,560 Speaker 6: they were. Yeah, just tough schedule wise to get seven kids. Hey, 626 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:02,960 Speaker 6: we're filming at this time with their lives in school 627 00:29:03,040 --> 00:29:03,640 Speaker 6: and everything else. 628 00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:06,600 Speaker 4: Mine, see, this is the difference Jen, like with mine. 629 00:29:06,760 --> 00:29:09,840 Speaker 3: I can tell Harrison who's at USC like they need 630 00:29:09,920 --> 00:29:11,600 Speaker 3: to see you, like I need to film with you, 631 00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:13,600 Speaker 3: so you have to pick a weekend and come home 632 00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:16,720 Speaker 3: because they you know, producers or whatever. We'll say, like 633 00:29:17,680 --> 00:29:20,440 Speaker 3: what's question. But when it comes to his kids, I 634 00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:22,680 Speaker 3: do still feel like there's like a fine line and 635 00:29:22,760 --> 00:29:25,800 Speaker 3: a boundary that I need to respect as stepmom that 636 00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:29,320 Speaker 3: his kids have lives and my job is not their job. Right, 637 00:29:29,440 --> 00:29:31,880 Speaker 3: And so we did have a couple of times they 638 00:29:31,920 --> 00:29:34,080 Speaker 3: didn't show it, but we had a great couple of 639 00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:36,240 Speaker 3: like all of the kids and my god, it was 640 00:29:36,280 --> 00:29:38,440 Speaker 3: like the best morning and everybody was here. 641 00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:41,200 Speaker 4: So it has happened a couple of times. It just 642 00:29:41,240 --> 00:29:42,440 Speaker 4: didn't you know, how things get cut. 643 00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:47,200 Speaker 1: Yeah, So I mean Heather, and Heather's okay with it. 644 00:29:49,360 --> 00:29:50,680 Speaker 5: Excellent with it. Yeah. 645 00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:53,160 Speaker 6: I mean, like I said, we're just in different places 646 00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:57,280 Speaker 6: and stages. So yeah, she's in full support of the 647 00:29:57,360 --> 00:29:58,720 Speaker 6: kids being a part of it if they want to 648 00:29:58,760 --> 00:29:59,880 Speaker 6: be a part of it. And she also knows that 649 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:02,040 Speaker 6: it's are strong enough to say, yeah I don't really 650 00:30:02,120 --> 00:30:03,400 Speaker 6: want to I don't want to be a part of 651 00:30:03,440 --> 00:30:05,240 Speaker 6: it or not today for whatever reason. 652 00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:06,760 Speaker 5: Yeah, a lot of respect there. 653 00:30:07,240 --> 00:30:09,840 Speaker 1: Yeah, and will jen is he's been okay with it. 654 00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:12,440 Speaker 4: Well, he doesn't have a choice, Jen, I mean, I 655 00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:13,040 Speaker 4: don't need. 656 00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:14,960 Speaker 1: To make money, right, I need to make the money 657 00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:15,320 Speaker 1: and so. 658 00:30:17,280 --> 00:30:19,600 Speaker 3: Yes, And so I think I think Will understands, like 659 00:30:19,640 --> 00:30:22,480 Speaker 3: in the position he's in right now, that he's not 660 00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:25,440 Speaker 3: being able to support the way he anticipated. So I 661 00:30:25,480 --> 00:30:27,960 Speaker 3: think he has no say to be like I don't 662 00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:30,000 Speaker 3: want you doing this, you know, because he knows that's 663 00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:31,640 Speaker 3: what provides for the kids and I. 664 00:30:31,920 --> 00:30:35,840 Speaker 4: So he doesn't say anything. He honestly, you know, it 665 00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:37,640 Speaker 4: would be so cool. And I've thought about this. I 666 00:30:37,720 --> 00:30:40,280 Speaker 4: wish they would build like I am so open. 667 00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:42,400 Speaker 3: I would love to be like you know, Will has 668 00:30:42,440 --> 00:30:45,800 Speaker 3: this new dynamic in his life with his new girlfriend 669 00:30:45,880 --> 00:30:47,880 Speaker 3: or not new, but they've been together, and we'll talk 670 00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:50,680 Speaker 3: about it, like I see who I was married to, 671 00:30:50,760 --> 00:30:52,840 Speaker 3: and then I see this man with his girlfriend. 672 00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:55,000 Speaker 4: I'm like, Wow, No, wonder we didn't work. 673 00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:59,360 Speaker 3: You know, you can that person in that new relationship 674 00:30:59,400 --> 00:31:01,280 Speaker 3: and they wag their dynamics are in the way our 675 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:03,480 Speaker 3: dynamics were. It's so weird to think that Will and 676 00:31:03,520 --> 00:31:06,320 Speaker 3: I tried for so long to make it work. And 677 00:31:06,400 --> 00:31:09,000 Speaker 3: I wish we could all be way more friendlier. 678 00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:10,880 Speaker 4: And open than it's been to me. 679 00:31:10,960 --> 00:31:14,000 Speaker 3: I hate this on my side, Jen, the co parenting 680 00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:17,400 Speaker 3: has sucked, like big time and his wife or whatever 681 00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:21,120 Speaker 3: she is, I've known her for years, Like really, yeah, 682 00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:24,080 Speaker 3: this was a girl that I just loved pieces and 683 00:31:24,400 --> 00:31:25,400 Speaker 3: she's got four kids. 684 00:31:25,520 --> 00:31:27,120 Speaker 1: Do I remember that? Did you talk about that on 685 00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:27,480 Speaker 1: the show? 686 00:31:28,040 --> 00:31:29,600 Speaker 4: Yeah, we talked about it briefly. 687 00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:33,200 Speaker 1: It sounds familiar. Okay, So it's so sad and so. 688 00:31:33,320 --> 00:31:36,640 Speaker 3: Weird, like why can't like they're so happy, We're so happy? 689 00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:39,600 Speaker 3: My gosh, looks like y'all do making a prediction. 690 00:31:39,880 --> 00:31:42,400 Speaker 2: Remember I said this, I am predicting that the four 691 00:31:42,480 --> 00:31:46,880 Speaker 2: of you are going to be friends whatever that looks like. 692 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:49,040 Speaker 2: I can see it comings who because of who the 693 00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:51,760 Speaker 2: two of you are and maybe even the six of you. 694 00:31:51,880 --> 00:31:56,080 Speaker 1: Wait, does Heather have a boyfriend for years? 695 00:31:56,360 --> 00:31:57,120 Speaker 4: His name's Ryan? 696 00:31:57,240 --> 00:31:57,400 Speaker 5: Two? 697 00:31:57,960 --> 00:31:59,960 Speaker 1: Are you serious? And do you guys you're all get along? 698 00:32:00,320 --> 00:32:02,440 Speaker 1: And Jen, of course you do right on our side? 699 00:32:04,760 --> 00:32:05,560 Speaker 4: Yes, side is easy? 700 00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:08,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it's coming. I feel like you're 701 00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:12,360 Speaker 2: I know, but I feel like it's coming. How were 702 00:32:12,440 --> 00:32:15,640 Speaker 2: you able to not discuss the issues about money with 703 00:32:15,720 --> 00:32:16,800 Speaker 2: the kids or did it just no? 704 00:32:16,960 --> 00:32:21,160 Speaker 3: I tell them, they yeah, no, no, no, in the beginning, 705 00:32:21,360 --> 00:32:24,680 Speaker 3: But now it's very We're just very open. Listen, I'm 706 00:32:24,720 --> 00:32:27,000 Speaker 3: not trash talking their father. And when I talk, I 707 00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:30,280 Speaker 3: know you about it. I talk about Dad's in the spot. Dad, 708 00:32:30,560 --> 00:32:33,000 Speaker 3: Dad's in the spot. Dad's not able to commit to 709 00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:35,240 Speaker 3: what he needs to right now. So we're not doing 710 00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:38,280 Speaker 3: Chick fil A five times this week, or you know, 711 00:32:38,400 --> 00:32:40,400 Speaker 3: Grayson will be like, I need gas and he'll say, 712 00:32:40,440 --> 00:32:42,360 Speaker 3: do you want me to ask Dad? And I always say, sure, 713 00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:43,960 Speaker 3: try Dad, But if it doesn't work, you. 714 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:44,720 Speaker 4: Know, coming. 715 00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:48,360 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. All right you guys. 716 00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:50,880 Speaker 2: So I have definitely been hitting you with a lot 717 00:32:50,960 --> 00:32:53,200 Speaker 2: of questions. I'm sorry I have a lot more. So 718 00:32:53,600 --> 00:32:54,880 Speaker 2: we are going to have to come back with a 719 00:32:54,920 --> 00:32:55,280 Speaker 2: part two.