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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sandy and Samantha. Oh your stuff. Never

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Speaker 1: told you protection of my heart?

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Speaker 2: Right you?

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Speaker 1: Okay, So.

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Speaker 3: This episode, I tell you has come back in a

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Speaker 3: way I wasn't anticipating when I was talking about car

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Speaker 3: troubles and I was just pontificating if this is still

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Speaker 3: a thing where it's used as a pickup line. Because

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Speaker 3: of travel and health issues, my car has sat unmoved for.

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Speaker 1: A while, to the point that even I am like, wow,

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Speaker 1: you really have not moved that car.

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Speaker 3: And it's becoming such a stressor because I have all

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Speaker 3: these rules about when I want to go and like

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Speaker 3: move my car and drive it, and I've made it

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Speaker 3: into a much bigger deal than it needs to be.

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Speaker 3: And that's the last thing I need with my health.

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Speaker 3: So the car is just out there and it's become

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Speaker 3: like my enemy. But I really need to if I

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Speaker 3: got in it, like right now, I think what would

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Speaker 3: happen if I tried to start it.

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Speaker 1: It wouldn't start.

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Speaker 3: I would like it to be able to start if

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Speaker 3: I need it. Yeah, so I need to test it

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Speaker 3: and I just let it go so long.

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Speaker 2: Do you need emotional support?

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Speaker 3: I think if I had somebody sit in the car

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Speaker 3: with me. It would help because part of the issue

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Speaker 3: is one of the things that made me think of

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Speaker 3: this is Samantha No's. But I have a neighbor that

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Speaker 3: kind of like lingers outside, and I don't want to

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Speaker 3: deal with what would happen if the car did start

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Speaker 3: and he was outside. Yeah, so I go, we'll like,

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Speaker 3: I go it like six am I have. But I've

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Speaker 3: been sleeping much better lately, actually, so I don't want

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Speaker 3: to get rid of Yeah, I finally made that step right,

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Speaker 3: So I don't want to set up an alarm to

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Speaker 3: go start my car and be stressed if the whole

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Speaker 3: day I'll be worried about it. So I just have

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Speaker 3: all these rules around this car and it's gotten out

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Speaker 3: of control. But it actually looks good. I'm surprised at

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Speaker 3: how nice it stills.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but maybe I'll get you or another friend just

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Speaker 3: come sit in the car with it while I started,

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Speaker 3: or try to start it. And I have one of

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Speaker 3: those things where you can jump start at yourself. Ye,

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Speaker 3: I've never done it, so I'm a little nervous I've.

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Speaker 2: Done it, so I'll come and help you.

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Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, yeah, I got you. All right, we'll figure

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Speaker 1: this out. We'll get We'll get the old galagy. We

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Speaker 1: got you. Thanks in the meantime, listeners, please enjoy this

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Speaker 1: classic episode.

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Speaker 2: Hey, this is Anny and Samantha.

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Speaker 3: Welcome to Stuff One Never told you production to buy

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Speaker 3: Heart Radio, and today we are doing another happy hour. Welcome, Welcome.

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Speaker 3: As always, if you are joining us, do whatever you're

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Speaker 3: dream responsibly drinking or otherwise.

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Speaker 1: What are you sitting on?

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Speaker 2: Samantha, my diet soda keep it in on drink water earlier,

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Speaker 2: so I'm like, okay, I feel like I did a

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Speaker 2: good job on the water. So I'm a drinker diet

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Speaker 2: soda today.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I had different episode. But I've been having strange

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Speaker 3: dreams lately. I told you about one of them earlier.

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Speaker 3: I also had one that was just I couldn't stop

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Speaker 3: drinking water. The whole dream was about water. Stopped drinking water.

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Speaker 3: It was very Bazarrey. I am drinking a summer shandy

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Speaker 3: a friend left up my apartment.

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Speaker 1: Nice. I'm trying to guess, so hope, I hope it's good.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, they're usually pretty good. I used to drink those

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Speaker 2: way back when.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure it'll be fine. I'm sure it'll be fine.

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Speaker 3: Uh, so this episode might be coming at you a

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Speaker 3: little late because we've had a couple of onlin own

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Speaker 3: technical issues, which is kind of indicative of what I

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Speaker 3: wanted to talk about. I said recently, I feel like

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Speaker 3: my life is in disarray. I feel like I have

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Speaker 3: a lot of things that I've let build up that

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Speaker 3: just all around me that I have not fixed for

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Speaker 3: one reason or the other. A big one is my car.

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Speaker 3: So Anthon knows about this, and my car has been

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Speaker 3: dead for two weeks now. It does not start. I

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Speaker 3: had someone come out to look at it. It seems

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Speaker 3: like it's just a battery issue. But I kind of

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Speaker 3: wanted to talk about it because I was thinking about

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Speaker 3: kind of the whole car troubles.

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Speaker 1: Joke, which for a long time has been like.

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Speaker 3: A joke about men hitting on women when their car

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Speaker 3: is broken down, and I just got to thinking about

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Speaker 3: that and all of the implications they're in. So I know

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Speaker 3: I've told this story before, but when I was in

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Speaker 3: high school, there was an automotive class. Women were not

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Speaker 3: allowed in it unless there was a space after all

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Speaker 3: of the men had off first.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, because I really wanted to do the choices were

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Speaker 3: and I'm not joking. The choices were automotive are dance.

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Speaker 3: I wanted to do automotive. No, it's comical and infuriating.

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Speaker 3: I wanted to do automotive because I thought it would

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Speaker 3: be useful. I love dancing, but I thought like this

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Speaker 3: would be good to know. They would not let me,

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Speaker 3: and they did let in one of the women from

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Speaker 3: my class, but I hate to say, it felt like

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Speaker 3: she was really sexualized in that class.

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Speaker 1: Oh she could talk about it. So it was like

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Speaker 1: a thing where I wanted to learn and I didn't

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Speaker 1: get the chance at that time.

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Speaker 3: And then you know, I just never had really an

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Speaker 3: opportunity or real strong desire to learn after that, Like

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Speaker 3: that would have been a nice Is that a school

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Speaker 3: I had to attend, right it was there? I never

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Speaker 3: did after that. I never did get the technology the

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Speaker 3: expertise that I wanted. And I will say, I want

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Speaker 3: to say I have always been scared around cars. There

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Speaker 3: are some reasons for that I've talked about before, but

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Speaker 3: also I'm just afraid of like expensive things. The car

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Speaker 3: is expensive. It makes nervous And this is going to

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Speaker 3: sound like way worse than it actually was. But my

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Speaker 3: dad used to ask me to pump gas. So if

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Speaker 3: I needed gas, I'd call him and he would come

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Speaker 3: and he would pump the gas. And so just made

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Speaker 3: me feel like I don't know what I'm doing. I'm

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Speaker 3: going to mess up this very expensive piece of equipment.

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Speaker 3: So I just have like really deep seated I don't

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Speaker 3: know how to handle a car. I don't know what

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Speaker 3: to do about it. And that being said, I want

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Speaker 3: to shout out my friend Marissa who once this was

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Speaker 3: before it was like ruined and everything, but it was

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Speaker 3: like the final Harry Potter movie was coming out. My

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Speaker 3: car wouldn't start, and she was like, no, we have

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Speaker 3: to get there on time, and she got that car starter.

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Speaker 3: She like knew what to do, she did everything. So

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Speaker 3: in this I'm mostly talking about experiences I've had where

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Speaker 3: it feels like a lot of this car stuff is

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Speaker 3: still be pretty gate kept by men.

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Speaker 1: But I have.

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Speaker 3: Plenty of examples of women in my life that do

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Speaker 3: know what they're doing are good at it, So I

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Speaker 3: just want to make that clear. Also on the other

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Speaker 3: side of that, I my ex, who was a dude.

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Speaker 3: Once sheepishly admitted to me that he knew nothing about

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Speaker 3: cars when my car broke down, So it's also like

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Speaker 3: I think in a lot of ways, a lot of

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Speaker 3: us don't know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, true story.

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Speaker 2: I feel like I learned a lot about car stuff

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Speaker 2: because of so many things i'll let go wrong.

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Speaker 1: Oh I know.

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Speaker 2: What this sound is, So I learned from my bad.

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Speaker 1: Do you feel like you could like do some basic.

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Speaker 2: Like no, Like the basic is like I know how

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Speaker 2: to change it higher, but it's really hard, especially with

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Speaker 2: like the changing of the bolts. But I've made sure

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Speaker 2: that I did learn. But I'm like it's gonna take

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Speaker 2: me forever, like forever ever if I really do have

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Speaker 2: to try this. But I remembered how to do it. One,

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Speaker 2: I don't know how to change the oil filter, but

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Speaker 2: I feel like that's an easy youtubem. But I know

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Speaker 2: what a sound of something is, Like, I'm like that

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Speaker 2: sound like a whale bearing. I think I need to

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Speaker 2: go do this. That sounds like the alignment is off,

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Speaker 2: Like I needed to go do this like stuff like that.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, well, I mean my most recent problem when the

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Speaker 3: guy showed up because I did call a repair service

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Speaker 3: because again it won't start, so I can't get it anywhere.

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Speaker 3: I was like, I think it's batter because I recognize

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Speaker 3: this clicking. I have heard this before, and I have

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Speaker 3: The sad thing is I used to be pretty good

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Speaker 3: at like very basic, very basic, admittedly, but i used

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Speaker 3: to be pretty good at that stuff, and now I've

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Speaker 3: just become so afraid I'll mess I'll mess something up,

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Speaker 3: and that's important because I never drive anymore right, but

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Speaker 3: also just don't feel confident in it. There are a

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Speaker 3: couple of other things too. So one is, as Samantha knows, I,

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Speaker 3: my car doesn't move from its spot very often, and

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Speaker 3: so it's sort of like people know my car. It's there,

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Speaker 3: and so I'm sort of I'm embarrassed. I'm embarrassed by it.

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Speaker 3: But also there's like a guy that comes out in

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Speaker 3: my building to smoke, but he comes out and he

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Speaker 3: just hangs out, and I don't want to be out

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Speaker 3: there trying to do my thing, and he's looking at

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Speaker 3: me like mmmm.

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Speaker 1: And then my landlord is like ever present, and I

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Speaker 1: don't want to get involved. But it's all these like

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Speaker 1: men in my life that I'm like, just not in

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Speaker 1: your life, yeah, but they're like.

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Speaker 3: In my.

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Speaker 2: Yeah. Also, like I would like to go ahead and

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Speaker 2: put an astrak here with the neighbor because I have

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Speaker 2: actually avoided going to your door myself, who typically I

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Speaker 2: will like, it doesn't bother me as much as it

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Speaker 2: bothers you. I don't want to hang out and be awkward.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to have a conversation with people. But

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Speaker 2: he literally stands in a way that is oh so imposing,

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Speaker 2: as well as smoking right on the steps, as well

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Speaker 2: as most of times being shirtless and a little over

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Speaker 2: like he just hangs out there and like all of

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Speaker 2: those things are like, yeah, he's not gonna move out

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Speaker 2: of my way, like, and he just purposely stands there

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Speaker 2: staring people down.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: I have noticed that because when I would wait for you,

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Speaker 2: I'm like, hey, I'm down here, but your neighbor's there,

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Speaker 2: so might want to wait for a second. I'm gonna

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Speaker 2: wait for a second. And then he just sits there

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Speaker 2: and stairs mm hmm.

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Speaker 1: He does. It's like he's a.

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Speaker 2: Whole special conversation in itself.

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Speaker 3: It's yeah, And it's unfortunate because it has Like one

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Speaker 3: of the things I hate that I'm really having trouble

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Speaker 3: letting go from the pandemic is that I don't feel

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Speaker 3: super comfortable leaving my place all the time. And part

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Speaker 3: of it is what if he's there, What if he's there?

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Speaker 3: And I've literally like gone back upstairs. I see him

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Speaker 3: out there, and to be, he's never done anything to me.

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Speaker 3: He's just like got a vibe that's not great. So

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Speaker 3: I don't want to be out trying to fix something

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Speaker 3: with my car that possibly I could fix if he's

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Speaker 3: going to be out there.

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Speaker 1: So I call in.

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Speaker 3: The service that comes to you, and it was a

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Speaker 3: guy and he was super nice. But then afterwards everyone

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Speaker 3: was like, well, it sounds like he was flirting with you,

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Speaker 3: and now, oh no, because he knows.

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Speaker 1: I can't go anywhere. He knows that.

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Speaker 3: Two of my friends who when I was telling them,

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Speaker 3: they were like they were just asking and they were like,

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Speaker 3: it kind of sounds like do you think he was?

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Speaker 3: And I said, now, I don't think so, but I

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Speaker 3: don't have the best track record with that, and I

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Speaker 3: don't know. I honestly have no idea. Uh, he will

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Speaker 3: be here getting soon.

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Speaker 1: So see. But then I started thinking about that because like.

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Speaker 3: I feel like a lot of times that whole kind

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Speaker 3: of car trouble thing, that whole like women can't take

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Speaker 3: automotive class. We're going to get to that episode that

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Speaker 3: we've been talking about forever about the history of women

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Speaker 3: in driving. Does feel very like you can't go anywhere,

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Speaker 3: so I'll help you in this case, like very like

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Speaker 3: heteronormative man being like, I'll help you then, because it is,

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Speaker 3: it does feel very i'll swoop in and rescue you.

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Speaker 3: Whereas I think, I like, I used to be able

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Speaker 3: to fix a lot of these things, at least like

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Speaker 3: the smaller things, and it's frustrating to me that it's

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Speaker 3: gotten to a point where.

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Speaker 1: I just gotta do. I feel like I have to

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Speaker 1: deal with this because.

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Speaker 3: I'm avoiding other dudes, but also like I am scared

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Speaker 3: I'll do damage to my car.

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Speaker 1: I've talked about before.

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Speaker 3: I actually passed out when my parents bought a car

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Speaker 3: because I saw how much it was and I passed out.

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Speaker 3: Like I have a lot of anxiety around how much

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Speaker 3: things cost, and it does feel kind of like.

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Speaker 1: It's out of my control.

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Speaker 3: So this also I just don't It's sad because I

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Speaker 3: also just don't like driving. I don't want to, but

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Speaker 3: I have to. That's sort of the society we live in.

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Speaker 3: And I do want a working car, that's the oddest.

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Speaker 3: I do want one, but it's frustrating because I'm like,

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Speaker 3: but I want one. It feels like just for emergencies

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Speaker 3: and this, you know, we've talked before about like stereotypes

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Speaker 3: around women driving and men driving. That was definitely present

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Speaker 3: in my last relationship. But this I also feel is

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Speaker 3: changing because I've seen a lot of my friends doesn't

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Speaker 3: really feel like that's there anymore for them at all.

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Speaker 1: But when I, like when my.

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Speaker 3: Ex and I were dating, he was always like, I

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Speaker 3: will drive, and he was not a driver or Samantha.

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Speaker 1: He was actually pretty bad. I was a better driver

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Speaker 1: than him. I feel confident in saying.

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Speaker 2: Oh no, yeah, my partner and I share duties, make

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Speaker 2: sure because we split it. Because also I get carsick

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Speaker 2: really easily. So like the only times I don't really

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Speaker 2: get carsick is if A I'm asleep or B I'm driving,

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Speaker 2: so I can't sit a whole ride like that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And I feel like you and several of my friends,

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Speaker 3: that's what I've seen is it feels like pretty equal

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Speaker 3: in terms of how they're driving. So I'm glad to

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Speaker 3: see that because I remember when the show first started,

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Speaker 3: there was an episode about like why do men do

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Speaker 3: most of the driving?

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Speaker 2: I mean, that's still definitely a stereotype on TikTok. A

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Speaker 2: passenger princess, yes, all over my for you page on TikTok.

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Speaker 3: It is definitely still a thing, and I would love

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Speaker 3: to hear from listeners about it because I always hesitate

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Speaker 3: talking about some of these older like stereotypes in terms

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Speaker 3: of you know, how many times do we have to

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Speaker 3: bring this back? But the thing is they do keep

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Speaker 3: coming back. But I would like to hear from people's

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Speaker 3: other experiences. There is something else that has been happening

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Speaker 3: in recent years where there's been a couple of examples

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Speaker 3: of women owned are women based automotive repair shops. There

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Speaker 3: is there was one in Atlanta. I think it's changed.

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Speaker 2: It has and they've made a big announcement to let

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Speaker 2: you know it is no longer owned by a woman

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Speaker 2: like it has been a thing because they still kept

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Speaker 2: the logo and kept the first part of them because

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Speaker 2: the title of it is literally like my mechanic as

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Speaker 2: a woman. And so when that when that stopped, they

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Speaker 2: didn't take away the name until they finally are like, hey,

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Speaker 2: a woman doesn't own this, just so you know, I'm

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Speaker 2: not the owner. So they had to do my mechanic

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Speaker 2: is and they left that.

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Speaker 1: Yes, they just left it be, which was sad.

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Speaker 3: But there have been a couple of examples of those

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Speaker 3: kinds of things, and it's one of those things where

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Speaker 3: I have I'm like two minds about. It's sort of

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Speaker 3: like the women only where I get it, but I

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Speaker 3: think we should address like a larger issue. But I

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Speaker 3: do totally get it. Like again, I've laid out several

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Speaker 3: examples of where men have made me uncomfortable around cars,

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Speaker 3: so I I do understand, but it's also sort of like,

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Speaker 3: if this is what we're doing, we might want to

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Speaker 3: ask why why that is? And you know, unfortunately, the

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Speaker 3: car repair business is just notorious. The car business in

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Speaker 3: general is notorious for lying to people or upselling people,

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Speaker 3: or not being upfront with people. I know it's not everybody,

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Speaker 3: but that when you go into a situation and you

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Speaker 3: feel like, oh, I don't know enough about this and

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Speaker 3: I feel like this person's probably trying to cheat me,

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Speaker 3: it's like not a great situation. And I think that's

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Speaker 3: compounded with women because I think the is still women

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Speaker 3: don't know what they're doing with cars. But clearly, for

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Speaker 3: a long time we've been prevented from knowing even if

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Speaker 3: the class you wanted to take in high school was automotive.

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Speaker 1: And a story.

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Speaker 3: Yes, so those are my car troubles and car troubles. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I just I was gonna I titled it that because

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Speaker 3: that's what like the joke always is, as the guy

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Speaker 3: comes up and he's like car troubles. But if anyone

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Speaker 3: has any thoughts about this, or if you have any

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Speaker 3: examples of these women based automotive repair shops your experience,

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Speaker 3: there are just yeah, generally, what's the trope the vibe

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Speaker 3: of gendered stereotypes around driving?

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Speaker 1: Right now? Please let us know.

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Speaker 3: You can email us as Stephanie mom Stuff at iHeartMedia

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Speaker 3: dot com. You can find us on Twitter at mom

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Speaker 3: Stuff podcast or on Instagram and TikTok at stuff when

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Speaker 3: Never Told You on YouTube, and we have a teap

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Speaker 3: of bookstore and we have a book you can get

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Speaker 3: wherever you get your books. Thanks as always to our

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Speaker 3: super producer Christina or executive producer Maya and our contributor Joey.

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Speaker 3: Thank you and thanks to you for listening.

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Speaker 1: Steffan Never Told You is production by Heart Radio.

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Speaker 3: For more podcast from my Heart Radio, you can check

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