WEBVTT - Judges Judy & Jerry Sheindlin

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<v Speaker 1>Pushin. Hi. I'm Phil Donahue and I'm Marlowe Thomas, and

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<v Speaker 1>we're going on a series of double dates to find

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<v Speaker 1>out what makes a marriage. Last one of the couples

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<v Speaker 1>we reached out to was Judge Judith Shinlin, known to

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<v Speaker 1>the world as Judge Judy, and her husband Jerry Shinedlin.

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<v Speaker 1>He's a former New York Supreme Court judge. That was

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<v Speaker 1>a surprise. Two judges in one marriage. What would that

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<v Speaker 1>be like? Judy said, Jerry, go and take out the garbage.

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<v Speaker 1>And I looked at her and I said, do you

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<v Speaker 1>realize that you're speaking to a Supreme Court judge? And

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<v Speaker 1>she looked at me and she said, put on your

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<v Speaker 1>robe and take out the garbage. The other surprise was

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<v Speaker 1>their house. Well, let's just say it was not what

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<v Speaker 1>we expected. When we got there. We had to double

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<v Speaker 1>check the address. Wow, it was a palace and she

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<v Speaker 1>designed it patio. Do you do a lot of parties

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<v Speaker 1>out here? We do? And you've also done two of

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<v Speaker 1>weddings here, right, we've done two weddings here. We did

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<v Speaker 1>three weddings here. Two asked it. Judy brought out a

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<v Speaker 1>big tray of snacks, quick to point out that she

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<v Speaker 1>didn't make them herself, and then we settled down to talk.

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<v Speaker 1>How old were you when you first saw him up

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<v Speaker 1>with him? I was thirty two, thirty two. What was

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<v Speaker 1>it that you glommed onto right away? He had shiny shoes.

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<v Speaker 1>I saw him in a bar and I looked at

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<v Speaker 1>him and he had a face. I had just finished

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<v Speaker 1>successfully trying a murder case as a defense attorney. Wow.

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<v Speaker 1>And it was in the newspaper, or so. Mike Pearl

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<v Speaker 1>from the New York Post, who was the crime reporter,

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<v Speaker 1>was interviewing me and she came walking into the bar

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<v Speaker 1>seeing me surrounded by these lawyers, one of whom was

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<v Speaker 1>her boss, and came right up to me in the

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<v Speaker 1>middle of the interview, put her finger in my face

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<v Speaker 1>and said, and who is this in the middle of

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<v Speaker 1>the interview? Why did you do that? I thought he

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<v Speaker 1>was adorable. She wanted to make an impression what she did,

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<v Speaker 1>and I said, lady, please get your finger out of

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<v Speaker 1>my face on the middle of an interview, and she did,

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<v Speaker 1>and we went out for dinner that night, and we

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<v Speaker 1>saw each other every single night thereafter. So that's how

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<v Speaker 1>to get to you, huh, I'm telling put your finger

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<v Speaker 1>on my face. I'm easy. I actually had to drag

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<v Speaker 1>him to the altar. Yeah I did. I did. He

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<v Speaker 1>really had no intention of getting married. He had no

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<v Speaker 1>intention of divorcing. He and his former wife were separated

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<v Speaker 1>for about three or four years, but he had no

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<v Speaker 1>one tension of divorcing was a very good thing. He

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<v Speaker 1>could come out, He could get laid. He could say

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<v Speaker 1>I can't get serious because I'm married. I said, after

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<v Speaker 1>a year, I want to see the divorce in the paper,

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<v Speaker 1>or don't call me anymore. No. Well, one of the

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<v Speaker 1>things you said was I said to her, why do

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<v Speaker 1>we need a paper from the government in order for

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<v Speaker 1>us to be together. It's not necessary. Let's live together.

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<v Speaker 1>She said, okay, you go ahead and ask my father

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<v Speaker 1>if we could live together. I said, I'm not going

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<v Speaker 1>to do that. So she took out her calendar and

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<v Speaker 1>she said pick a date. So how did two judges

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<v Speaker 1>not become very judgmental to each other? And who takes

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<v Speaker 1>and Alsie was a great at pleading your case. I

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<v Speaker 1>am terrific at pleading my case. However, I'm constantly being

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<v Speaker 1>overruled forgell But seriously, as a bad comedian would say, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>we judge each other all the time, and I plead

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<v Speaker 1>my case and he pleads his case. That's what we do,

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<v Speaker 1>that's what you really Of course, I use my logic

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<v Speaker 1>to explain why I don't want to live in Connecticut anymore,

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<v Speaker 1>or why I want to go to sicilianification when you

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<v Speaker 1>have to talk your husband, your mate into doing it,

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<v Speaker 1>into thinking that his idea, and also when you're having

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<v Speaker 1>an argument, each of you has to say, well, why

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<v Speaker 1>this wasn't fair to this one or that one. I

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<v Speaker 1>just think it's fascinating. We tend to do the right thing,

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<v Speaker 1>and as soon as one of us gets to the

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<v Speaker 1>point where we say, you know that's right, then we're together.

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<v Speaker 1>And if we can't get to that point, then we argue,

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<v Speaker 1>and we argue until somebody gives up. And it's usually me.

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<v Speaker 1>That's true, because that's a reason. The truth is, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>a very linear thinker. Things illogical if something doesn't make sense,

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<v Speaker 1>whether it's an argument between us or in life, if

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<v Speaker 1>something is inconsistent with my history from seeing people, from

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<v Speaker 1>being a lawyer and a judge for fifty years. If

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<v Speaker 1>something doesn't make sense to me, it's usually not true,

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<v Speaker 1>or it's usually not right or it's not going to

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<v Speaker 1>end up well. Jerry is a linear thinker, but at

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<v Speaker 1>the end of that thought process is what will make

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<v Speaker 1>him happy. Yeah, and I have to linear think through Jerry.

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<v Speaker 1>That may make you happy, but it's not the right

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<v Speaker 1>thing to do, and sometimes we don't get there, so

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<v Speaker 1>then we just have a blowout. Are you ever wrong? Rarely?

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<v Speaker 1>I remember once once you was twelve years old, she

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<v Speaker 1>said she's wrong? Am I ever wrong? Oh? I'm sure

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<v Speaker 1>that's really We have a big family and there so

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<v Speaker 1>there's lots to negotiate it so time coordination things. That's

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<v Speaker 1>not something that I don't know what Phil is good at,

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<v Speaker 1>but Jerry is really not good at that. Would that

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<v Speaker 1>be fairtakeing? I think? So? Now tell me Jerry. Yes,

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<v Speaker 1>Judy has told us what she's you know, her part

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<v Speaker 1>that she's good at making the arrangements and stuff. So

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<v Speaker 1>what's your job? My job is to make suggestions to

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<v Speaker 1>her and then she takes the suggestions and makes arrangements

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<v Speaker 1>and she does the appointments. So as he's saying that lightheartedly,

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<v Speaker 1>but my job is usually to go along with what

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<v Speaker 1>she says and she accepts your suggestions. No, that's an

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<v Speaker 1>idea that's a good idea, that's a glimmer of an idea,

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<v Speaker 1>that's an her Yeah, but it works, that's the thing.

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<v Speaker 1>It works. It works when you have a blow up.

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<v Speaker 1>Which one is more likely to be the peacemaker. That

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<v Speaker 1>has fluctuated over the years. I would say the first

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<v Speaker 1>twenties or more years, I was the peacemaker, because that's

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<v Speaker 1>just the way it was. I think Jerry will acknowledge

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<v Speaker 1>he was a difficult person for a while, and what

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<v Speaker 1>was it was difficulty more unreasonable. I wouldn't listen necessarily

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<v Speaker 1>to what she was saying when I would assist that

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<v Speaker 1>what I was saying was correct and right and it

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<v Speaker 1>was the thing to do. And as years went on,

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<v Speaker 1>it just came to me that she has the better

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<v Speaker 1>ideas most often, and I accepted and I don't struggle

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<v Speaker 1>with it. And that became more as the marriage went on.

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<v Speaker 1>As the marriage went on, that became more frequent, and

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<v Speaker 1>so we get along better. I think Jerry brought more

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<v Speaker 1>baggage to the marriage than I did. His family. His

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<v Speaker 1>parents were more dysfunctional than mine. What happened to them

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<v Speaker 1>was when they were born in Europe, if they didn't

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<v Speaker 1>behave they would beat the children. Oh that's the way

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<v Speaker 1>they did it. Yeah, it's not a surprise at all.

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<v Speaker 1>So when they came to this country, they thought the

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<v Speaker 1>way to bring up children is to abuse them, to

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<v Speaker 1>hurt them, to hit them, not understanding that that carries

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<v Speaker 1>a terrible, terrible result with the child. It's hard to

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<v Speaker 1>get over. I carried around a lot of garbage from

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<v Speaker 1>the time that I was a kid, like what couldn't

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<v Speaker 1>you do? Well? It was hard to get close to

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<v Speaker 1>another person without thinking that perhaps they're gonna hurt you,

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<v Speaker 1>because that's the way you grew up. So you know,

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<v Speaker 1>you had to continually test to see if the person

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<v Speaker 1>really loved you. Would you love me if I said

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<v Speaker 1>this to you? Would you love me if I did

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<v Speaker 1>this to you? So? What kind of a father does

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<v Speaker 1>that make you? Did you hit your children? Never ever

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<v Speaker 1>laid a hand on them. I learned it from a

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<v Speaker 1>negative point of view. A negative upbringing actually gave me

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<v Speaker 1>a positive sense of how to bring up children. When

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<v Speaker 1>I was seventeen, I joined the Navy. Oh I don't

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<v Speaker 1>blame during the war and spent two years in the Navy.

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<v Speaker 1>Then when I came out, my head was better. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>they say you're going to the Navy as a boy

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<v Speaker 1>and you come out as a man. Well, in my case,

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<v Speaker 1>that happen to be true. And did you go to

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<v Speaker 1>law school afterwards? Went to college afterward? Then you have

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<v Speaker 1>a short relatively twelvey, a short term marriage which Jerry had,

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<v Speaker 1>which produced three children, three terrific kids. And I think

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<v Speaker 1>he had a lot of guilt with regard to leaving

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<v Speaker 1>his wife and children that was long before he met me.

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<v Speaker 1>All of that was a lot of baggage to come

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<v Speaker 1>to a new relationship with. And let me put it

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<v Speaker 1>to you this way, honestly, because you want honesty in

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<v Speaker 1>your chapter, correct, you would like I am a girl

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<v Speaker 1>who always needs a project. With Jerry, I knew I

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<v Speaker 1>was getting a project. I knew it wasn't going to

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<v Speaker 1>be an easy So the first twenty years I was

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<v Speaker 1>really trying to make up for all of this. You

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<v Speaker 1>had a miserable childhood, You feel guilty about leaving your kids.

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<v Speaker 1>There was lots of turmoil that he probably couldn't pinpoint

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<v Speaker 1>in his brain, but he knew it was not making

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<v Speaker 1>him feel content. And it was my job, I felt

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<v Speaker 1>during that time to make it better. Well, then what

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<v Speaker 1>happened was that my father died and my father was

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<v Speaker 1>my champion ahead one of those right, I know you did.

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<v Speaker 1>And when you lose that, you say, all right, somebody

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<v Speaker 1>has to take care of me. I've been taking care

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<v Speaker 1>of you for twenty years. Now you take care of me.

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<v Speaker 1>This is what I need. And if you can't do that,

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<v Speaker 1>we just can't be together. And he was totally on

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<v Speaker 1>the custom. It's too amorphic. You can't say take care

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<v Speaker 1>of me? What does that mean? I mean, how do

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<v Speaker 1>you want me to take care of you? Do you

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<v Speaker 1>want me to carry you from place to place? Do

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<v Speaker 1>you want me to buy you things? Do you want

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<v Speaker 1>me to feed you? Do you want me to keep

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<v Speaker 1>you warm? What you have to do is tell me,

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<v Speaker 1>use your words, tell me what you want me to

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<v Speaker 1>do to take care of you. Right? And she said,

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<v Speaker 1>just take care of me. I said, I don't know

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<v Speaker 1>how to do that. And honestly, it wasn't that he

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<v Speaker 1>was being stubborn. I don't think he was being stubborn.

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<v Speaker 1>I think that honestly, he didn't think that I would

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<v Speaker 1>do it. No, I didn't. He didn't think that I

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<v Speaker 1>would do it. She said to me, if you can't

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<v Speaker 1>new with this, I'm going to divorce you, and I said,

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<v Speaker 1>oh yeah, I dare you. And the next day I

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<v Speaker 1>got divorce papers. Right, I mean, it's seriously, he really

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<v Speaker 1>didn't think I would do it. I had a friend.

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<v Speaker 1>I said, just serving with the papers. We'll have more

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<v Speaker 1>after a quick break. We're back with Judge Judy and

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<v Speaker 1>Jerry Shinedlin. When we left off, they were remembering a

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<v Speaker 1>tough time in nineteen ninety when Yep, Judy actually followed

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<v Speaker 1>through with her threat they got divorced. I missed her

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<v Speaker 1>her presence the first week that we was oparated, because

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<v Speaker 1>we didn't see each other for the first time in years.

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<v Speaker 1>Every single day I was in the Supreme Court, Judy

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<v Speaker 1>was in the Family Court. We'd always be together after court, always,

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<v Speaker 1>and this was a strange experience for me not seeing Judy.

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<v Speaker 1>Were you in the same building, same building? Were in

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<v Speaker 1>the same building. So there came a point where I

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<v Speaker 1>called her on the phone. I said, what are you doing?

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<v Speaker 1>You want to go to dinner? And she would say yes,

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<v Speaker 1>which surprised me. But we went to dinner. Meanwhile, the

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<v Speaker 1>papers were all signed. Did you need to get to

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<v Speaker 1>the point to give her what she wanted? What happened

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<v Speaker 1>was we'd gradually, during this period of one year, grew

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<v Speaker 1>closer together because I missed her terribly and I couldn't

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<v Speaker 1>stand the fact that somebody fixed her up with the

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<v Speaker 1>guy that was driving me crazy. So I would call

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<v Speaker 1>her up and say, did he kiss you? He said no,

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<v Speaker 1>and she and she said it didn't even work well

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<v Speaker 1>because we went to this restaurant and the waiter came

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<v Speaker 1>over and he said, I'll have the roast beef and

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<v Speaker 1>the potatoes and the French fries, and I'd like a

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<v Speaker 1>big glass of cabernet. And she said to the waiter,

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<v Speaker 1>that's what he wants, what he's going to have. And

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<v Speaker 1>so this guy never saw her again. I was pleased

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<v Speaker 1>to hear that story because I knew eventually she had

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<v Speaker 1>to come back to me. That's a scream. And did

0:15:00.556 --> 0:15:03.356
<v Speaker 1>you miss him too? I missed it. I missed it.

0:15:04.116 --> 0:15:05.996
<v Speaker 1>I want to get back to when you got back together.

0:15:06.076 --> 0:15:09.556
<v Speaker 1>That's the most interesting thing, because you know one divorce,

0:15:09.596 --> 0:15:12.076
<v Speaker 1>I said, Okay, I was married to him. Now we

0:15:12.196 --> 0:15:14.036
<v Speaker 1>even see each other all the time, we'll have to

0:15:14.076 --> 0:15:18.996
<v Speaker 1>get married for again. Interestingly enough, we're walking downtown Manhattan.

0:15:19.556 --> 0:15:22.236
<v Speaker 1>I picked her up from work, and I said, you

0:15:22.236 --> 0:15:26.276
<v Speaker 1>know this is silly. I'm uncomfortable being with you all

0:15:26.316 --> 0:15:29.876
<v Speaker 1>the time and not being married to you. I said,

0:15:29.956 --> 0:15:34.556
<v Speaker 1>let's get married again. She said, well, I mean, how

0:15:34.556 --> 0:15:36.636
<v Speaker 1>are we going to do that? I said, my ex

0:15:36.756 --> 0:15:40.676
<v Speaker 1>law partner is a Supreme Court judge. He's right up

0:15:40.676 --> 0:15:43.716
<v Speaker 1>the street. We can go right into the clerk's office

0:15:43.716 --> 0:15:46.316
<v Speaker 1>and get a license. And of course, as soon as

0:15:46.316 --> 0:15:49.676
<v Speaker 1>they saw us, they accommodated us with both judges. Got

0:15:49.676 --> 0:15:52.396
<v Speaker 1>the license, immediately called up my law partner and said,

0:15:52.436 --> 0:15:55.276
<v Speaker 1>are you busy? Said no, I said, well, we're coming

0:15:55.396 --> 0:15:59.116
<v Speaker 1>up to get married again. I called my older son,

0:15:59.196 --> 0:16:01.996
<v Speaker 1>who had a law practice in law of Manhattan. He

0:16:02.156 --> 0:16:06.036
<v Speaker 1>was my best man. She called her girlfriend of forty

0:16:06.116 --> 0:16:09.956
<v Speaker 1>years that was her maid of honor. So we went

0:16:10.036 --> 0:16:15.196
<v Speaker 1>up to my partner's chambers and he performed the following ceremony.

0:16:15.396 --> 0:16:18.276
<v Speaker 1>To me, he said, you take this woman to be

0:16:18.356 --> 0:16:21.916
<v Speaker 1>your wolf, a wedded wife forever and good times and bad,

0:16:21.996 --> 0:16:24.716
<v Speaker 1>and sickness and health, and to each I said yes,

0:16:25.516 --> 0:16:28.316
<v Speaker 1>looked at her and said you take this man to

0:16:28.396 --> 0:16:32.276
<v Speaker 1>be your husband. She said yes, in good times or bad.

0:16:32.716 --> 0:16:35.556
<v Speaker 1>And she looked at him and said, in good times

0:16:35.716 --> 0:16:44.356
<v Speaker 1>or forget it. Herbie said, this is a real tear jerk.

0:16:44.716 --> 0:16:49.556
<v Speaker 1>Oh that's funny. She cracks a joke about it. But

0:16:49.716 --> 0:16:52.916
<v Speaker 1>I think it's romantic that they got remarried. They also

0:16:52.996 --> 0:16:56.316
<v Speaker 1>came back to each other already knowing what makes the

0:16:56.396 --> 0:16:59.596
<v Speaker 1>other one tick. Do you know the triggers that each

0:16:59.596 --> 0:17:02.076
<v Speaker 1>other has? Like you know the thing that will set

0:17:02.116 --> 0:17:04.516
<v Speaker 1>them up? And absolutely so you know what they are?

0:17:04.596 --> 0:17:06.556
<v Speaker 1>So yes, So what do you do? Do you like?

0:17:07.076 --> 0:17:15.596
<v Speaker 1>Avoid them? I avoid them? He sometimes? He sometimes still

0:17:16.236 --> 0:17:20.316
<v Speaker 1>he still tests. That's interesting. No, but really you try

0:17:20.356 --> 0:17:25.076
<v Speaker 1>to change, but you can't change. There's something that just damaged.

0:17:26.076 --> 0:17:28.276
<v Speaker 1>That's the way you put it, just damaged and you

0:17:28.316 --> 0:17:34.156
<v Speaker 1>can't repair it. Being damaged causing the testing of my

0:17:34.796 --> 0:17:38.516
<v Speaker 1>devotion to him. And it used to happen very often,

0:17:38.556 --> 0:17:41.796
<v Speaker 1>and it happens less frequently. Yes, we get old, you

0:17:41.836 --> 0:17:44.996
<v Speaker 1>know you asked about I think that we change in

0:17:45.596 --> 0:17:49.916
<v Speaker 1>what our needs are. For instance, you you were working

0:17:49.916 --> 0:17:56.796
<v Speaker 1>in Chicago. You got married in nineteen eighty, right, yes,

0:17:58.676 --> 0:18:01.516
<v Speaker 1>but your show was still in Chicago in nineteen eighty. Yes,

0:18:01.956 --> 0:18:06.916
<v Speaker 1>your show was in Chicago for another four years. Right?

0:18:06.956 --> 0:18:09.396
<v Speaker 1>Do my homework too? To the last kid got to

0:18:09.476 --> 0:18:12.796
<v Speaker 1>high school. That was our deal. Okay, but that's different,

0:18:12.876 --> 0:18:15.076
<v Speaker 1>and I'm sure that that was difficult, and I'm sure

0:18:15.116 --> 0:18:17.916
<v Speaker 1>that there were accommodations that had to be made, and yeah, scrabbled.

0:18:17.956 --> 0:18:23.396
<v Speaker 1>And that's why I'm so interested in accommodation, because I

0:18:23.436 --> 0:18:28.476
<v Speaker 1>think a marriage cannot be successful and be strong if

0:18:28.556 --> 0:18:30.436
<v Speaker 1>one person says it has to be this and it

0:18:30.436 --> 0:18:33.116
<v Speaker 1>has to be that. When we decided to get married,

0:18:33.116 --> 0:18:35.836
<v Speaker 1>and I had said, I'm not living in Winnetka, and

0:18:35.876 --> 0:18:38.436
<v Speaker 1>he said, I can't live in LA. So we made

0:18:38.476 --> 0:18:41.476
<v Speaker 1>New York home because it was closer to Chicago, and

0:18:41.516 --> 0:18:43.356
<v Speaker 1>he said, I just have got to get my boys

0:18:43.356 --> 0:18:45.956
<v Speaker 1>to high school. I got it. I didn't want to

0:18:45.956 --> 0:18:47.796
<v Speaker 1>be taken out of my freshman year or software year

0:18:47.796 --> 0:18:50.636
<v Speaker 1>in high school. So where did you live? I moved

0:18:50.676 --> 0:18:53.116
<v Speaker 1>from LA to New York. But the point is that

0:18:53.556 --> 0:18:56.036
<v Speaker 1>we made a life that neither of us ever lived here.

0:18:56.356 --> 0:18:58.516
<v Speaker 1>Now we have a New York apartment. None of this

0:18:58.596 --> 0:19:01.276
<v Speaker 1>was in Chicago or LA. We just made a new life.

0:19:01.636 --> 0:19:05.316
<v Speaker 1>And I really appreciate that about how we handled it.

0:19:05.516 --> 0:19:08.196
<v Speaker 1>He was willing to move his show, but not willing

0:19:08.236 --> 0:19:10.916
<v Speaker 1>to hurt his children, and I was not willing to

0:19:10.996 --> 0:19:14.356
<v Speaker 1>hurt his children. So we made a path for ourselves,

0:19:14.676 --> 0:19:17.156
<v Speaker 1>and the kids came to and we had four bedrooms,

0:19:16.956 --> 0:19:19.916
<v Speaker 1>and then they grew up, and then they come occasionally

0:19:20.316 --> 0:19:23.556
<v Speaker 1>and they come. Now, okay to exactly, but if people

0:19:23.596 --> 0:19:27.116
<v Speaker 1>don't accommodate each other, if you don't give up certain things,

0:19:27.796 --> 0:19:32.716
<v Speaker 1>or round off certain things, or just downright change something,

0:19:33.676 --> 0:19:36.596
<v Speaker 1>you two people aren't alike. They're not the same. I

0:19:36.636 --> 0:19:39.436
<v Speaker 1>am so not like him and he is so not

0:19:39.596 --> 0:19:42.996
<v Speaker 1>like me. It's true, we really are different. But the

0:19:43.076 --> 0:19:47.516
<v Speaker 1>important thing is we figured out that that's okay. Yeah,

0:19:47.596 --> 0:19:50.596
<v Speaker 1>we thought a lot at first, but it just takes time.

0:19:51.156 --> 0:19:54.476
<v Speaker 1>Every young couple goes through it. Young people aren't getting

0:19:54.476 --> 0:19:58.036
<v Speaker 1>married anymore. Nobody's getting married when they're twenty two or

0:19:58.076 --> 0:20:02.556
<v Speaker 1>twenty four or twenty six or twenty eight. They start

0:20:02.676 --> 0:20:05.556
<v Speaker 1>thinking about it when they're thirty. They hardly get out

0:20:05.596 --> 0:20:10.596
<v Speaker 1>of your house before they're thirty. That's just this generation healthier,

0:20:10.876 --> 0:20:15.916
<v Speaker 1>healthier than our generation. Yeah. I mean, if if a

0:20:15.996 --> 0:20:18.436
<v Speaker 1>daughter wasn't married by at times he was twenty four.

0:20:18.756 --> 0:20:23.356
<v Speaker 1>In the Catholic world, you know your mother went to church. Yes,

0:20:24.196 --> 0:20:29.796
<v Speaker 1>many of those marriages did not survive. Women. I think

0:20:31.476 --> 0:20:36.036
<v Speaker 1>more than men, when they enter into a relationship, think

0:20:36.076 --> 0:20:40.716
<v Speaker 1>that whatever behavior is annoying to them, they will be

0:20:40.756 --> 0:20:43.956
<v Speaker 1>able to modify and change in the other person. In

0:20:43.996 --> 0:20:48.236
<v Speaker 1>the other person. And if you marry somebody thinking that

0:20:48.276 --> 0:20:54.556
<v Speaker 1>you're going to change them, which I did, Mia Coppa,

0:20:54.916 --> 0:20:57.876
<v Speaker 1>don't try to teach a pig to sing. It doesn't

0:20:57.916 --> 0:21:01.836
<v Speaker 1>work and it annoys the pig. But what about the

0:21:01.876 --> 0:21:05.076
<v Speaker 1>fact that he did change? He didn't. He didn't change.

0:21:05.236 --> 0:21:07.916
<v Speaker 1>He learned to use a calendar better, he learned to

0:21:07.956 --> 0:21:13.436
<v Speaker 1>write down Octope but twenty first Judy's birthday. What is

0:21:13.476 --> 0:21:20.476
<v Speaker 1>difficult about living with you? Nothing, that's the difficult. That's

0:21:20.476 --> 0:21:24.636
<v Speaker 1>the difficulty because you must have had to change something

0:21:24.676 --> 0:21:28.356
<v Speaker 1>in you to be able to accommodate another person. Everybody does.

0:21:29.876 --> 0:21:33.956
<v Speaker 1>I did. I used to sweat the small stuff. I

0:21:33.996 --> 0:21:37.036
<v Speaker 1>had to give it up. During that year that we

0:21:37.116 --> 0:21:40.876
<v Speaker 1>weren't together, I did a little growing myself. It was

0:21:41.436 --> 0:21:44.916
<v Speaker 1>a realization that we were better as a couple than

0:21:44.996 --> 0:21:48.836
<v Speaker 1>we were separately. You have to have that feeling that

0:21:49.116 --> 0:21:53.796
<v Speaker 1>is intangible. My father said to me that he saw

0:21:53.876 --> 0:21:56.556
<v Speaker 1>my mother a dance at the Jewish Center for the

0:21:56.596 --> 0:22:00.236
<v Speaker 1>first time when she was eighteen and he was with

0:22:00.276 --> 0:22:04.156
<v Speaker 1>his best friend. From the first minute he looked at her,

0:22:04.316 --> 0:22:08.196
<v Speaker 1>he saw her and he said, I gotta have it.

0:22:09.276 --> 0:22:12.076
<v Speaker 1>I saw him and I said, I have to have

0:22:12.236 --> 0:22:16.556
<v Speaker 1>that like forever. Whatever it is, I'm going to make

0:22:16.596 --> 0:22:20.396
<v Speaker 1>this work. And he evidently the same thing. You evidently

0:22:20.436 --> 0:22:24.276
<v Speaker 1>the same thing Chicago, New York. I'm going to accommodate

0:22:24.276 --> 0:22:26.596
<v Speaker 1>it because there were a lot of girls in Chicago,

0:22:27.156 --> 0:22:30.196
<v Speaker 1>but you saw this one, this girl, and you really

0:22:30.196 --> 0:22:32.836
<v Speaker 1>had to have this girl. So whatever it had to

0:22:32.876 --> 0:22:36.996
<v Speaker 1>be in your your life, that's what you did that.

0:22:37.036 --> 0:22:40.876
<v Speaker 1>You can't identify it because the truth of the matter is,

0:22:41.076 --> 0:22:43.676
<v Speaker 1>no matter how you slice it, and no matter how

0:22:43.676 --> 0:22:50.436
<v Speaker 1>many words you use, it all is irrelevant unless when

0:22:50.476 --> 0:22:54.236
<v Speaker 1>you touch your mate, there's a special feeling. When you

0:22:54.356 --> 0:22:57.916
<v Speaker 1>speak to her, there's a special feeling. When you hugger,

0:22:58.476 --> 0:23:01.716
<v Speaker 1>there's a special feeling. I think the foundation of a

0:23:01.796 --> 0:23:06.196
<v Speaker 1>good marriage ones that last is a deep love and

0:23:06.276 --> 0:23:09.716
<v Speaker 1>a devotion to your mate. If you look at your

0:23:09.716 --> 0:23:13.836
<v Speaker 1>mate and you love her as we do, then it

0:23:13.916 --> 0:23:17.796
<v Speaker 1>all works, no matter little irritations. They fall into place,

0:23:18.516 --> 0:23:23.956
<v Speaker 1>but you can't replace the touch, the kiss, making love,

0:23:24.636 --> 0:23:28.036
<v Speaker 1>and the main thing is that she has a tremendous

0:23:28.116 --> 0:23:33.476
<v Speaker 1>ability to make me laugh. And there you have it.

0:23:34.036 --> 0:23:37.436
<v Speaker 1>What makes the marriage of Judge Judy and Jerry shinin

0:23:37.796 --> 0:23:41.036
<v Speaker 1>last This has been so much and you are the

0:23:41.156 --> 0:23:43.956
<v Speaker 1>nicest man that ever lived. Well, that's the problem with

0:23:44.156 --> 0:23:47.916
<v Speaker 1>this interview. That is the problem with this Somebody said

0:23:47.956 --> 0:23:52.436
<v Speaker 1>something nice to me. She can't until next time. I'm

0:23:52.436 --> 0:23:57.636
<v Speaker 1>filled down a he and I'm Marlow Thomas how't told

0:23:57.716 --> 0:24:02.356
<v Speaker 1>us how well? I'm telling you. He's different. He's selfish, Jerry,

0:24:02.476 --> 0:24:07.556
<v Speaker 1>but he's adorable. He is he is adorable. Suffer you

0:24:07.636 --> 0:24:10.596
<v Speaker 1>have to come to my rescue double Day. There's a

0:24:10.676 --> 0:24:14.636
<v Speaker 1>production of Pushkin Industries. The show was created by US

0:24:14.876 --> 0:24:19.396
<v Speaker 1>and produced by Sarah Lilly. Michael Bahari is associate producer.

0:24:19.916 --> 0:24:24.516
<v Speaker 1>Musical adaptations of It Had to Be You by Sellwagon, Simfinette,

0:24:26.236 --> 0:24:30.556
<v Speaker 1>Marlo and I are executive producers, along with Mia Lobell

0:24:30.796 --> 0:24:36.116
<v Speaker 1>and Letal Molad from Pushkin and special thanks to Jacob Weisberg,

0:24:36.476 --> 0:24:42.756
<v Speaker 1>Malcolm Gladwell, Heather Fain, John Snars, Carly Migliori, Eric Sandler,

0:24:43.076 --> 0:24:48.756
<v Speaker 1>Emily Rostek, Jason Gambrel, Paul Williams, and Bruce Kluger. If

0:24:48.796 --> 0:24:52.556
<v Speaker 1>you like our show, please remember to share, rate and

0:24:52.756 --> 0:24:55.036
<v Speaker 1>review Thanks for listening