Speaker 1: What's your name?
Speaker 2: The name's Erica, Erica.
Speaker 1: What's up, Erica? How's life?
Speaker 2: Life's pretty good. I'm actively fucking up my eyebrows right now.
Speaker 1: You're actively fucking up your eyebrows right now.
Speaker 2: Yes, I started plucking them and I just plucked a
Speaker 2: little too much.
Speaker 1: Well, Stephanie, what's what's going on?
Speaker 3: Man?
Speaker 1: Would you wanna talk about today? Eric? Oh? Crap? The
Speaker 1: other person that I talk to is Stephanie, So I
Speaker 1: what's I'm gonna call everyone? Just call her because I don't.
Speaker 1: I can't. It's been established that I can't. Uh, I
Speaker 1: can't do names, which is fine. It's okay everyone. Everyone
Speaker 1: should be anonymous on this thing. So I'm gonna call you. Caller,
Speaker 1: call her? What's up? What do you want to talk about?
Speaker 2: I wanted to talk about Bakersfield, California.
Speaker 1: I think I went to baker Field, California a couple
Speaker 1: of years ago on like a camping trip or some shit.
Speaker 2: Really have we ever seen? Like I think it's a
Speaker 2: Netflix show about Bakersfield, and it's like a bunch of
Speaker 2: like killbillies and like rich oil people.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm familiar with, Like, I'm vaguely familiar with the culture.
Speaker 1: Tell me more.
Speaker 2: That was like to a tea. So it's so crazy.
Speaker 2: There's like so many different parts of town that are
Speaker 2: so different, and the part of town where I grew up,
Speaker 2: I thought this stuff was normal. So like my high school,
Speaker 2: everything was gated and you had to call security to
Speaker 2: come to your classroom to take you to the bathroom
Speaker 2: because people were studying trash cans on fire or ditching
Speaker 2: or fighting or having sex somewhere on campus. And we
Speaker 2: weren't allowed to wear certain colored shirts because of gang affiliation.
Speaker 2: You couldn't wear like plain white teas or playing red
Speaker 2: teas and stuff like that, and I thought that was
Speaker 2: like normal.
Speaker 1: Were there a lot of gangs in Baker's Field?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: What were Were you ever in a gang?
Speaker 2: No? I wasn't, but my older sister always took me
Speaker 2: to like house parties and they were all gang affiliated.
Speaker 2: And actually my dad's side of the family, I wasn't
Speaker 2: really like in touch with them, but they were all
Speaker 2: gang affiliated too.
Speaker 1: M Okay, what else was going on in Bakersfield at
Speaker 1: the time.
Speaker 2: Shit. I have an uncle who has like seventeen kids
Speaker 2: from like different baby mamas, and he was always in
Speaker 2: and out of prison and yeah, Like all of my
Speaker 2: family was like always in and out of prison, like
Speaker 2: my grandma's getting DUIs, fighting my uncle's wife in the
Speaker 2: front yard, ghetto stuff like that. But like that was
Speaker 2: my normal. So once I got away from Baker's Toe it,
Speaker 2: I was like, holy shit, that place is wild.
Speaker 1: Where did you get away from Bakersfield to.
Speaker 2: Go the military?
Speaker 1: Are you? Is that where you are now?
Speaker 2: No? I was in the military for six years. I
Speaker 2: got medically discharged, and then me and my husband moved
Speaker 2: to a different part of California.
Speaker 1: And what was it like? What was it like being
Speaker 1: in the military for six years?
Speaker 2: I had a blast. I was a mechanic. I was
Speaker 2: a helicopter mechanic. And I before that, I was like
Speaker 2: a bougie bitch, like wearing dresses and heels and nails
Speaker 2: done all the time, didn't know what a socket wrench was.
Speaker 2: And then I became like a grease monkey and became
Speaker 2: a mechanic and was traveling the world. I went on
Speaker 2: like three different aircraft carriers and spent over like three
Speaker 2: hundred and sixty days to see and I had a blast.
Speaker 1: What was the medical discharge?
Speaker 2: Oh, I have this like brain condition where the veins
Speaker 2: at the bottom of my brain are like narrow, and
Speaker 2: so it builds pressure in my brain and it gave
Speaker 2: me like migraines and was causing like issues with my eyes.
Speaker 1: WHOA did that develop while you were in the military?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: WHOA? What happens when you get medically discharged from the military?
Speaker 1: Do they like, do you get shit? Or are they
Speaker 1: just like you gotta go?
Speaker 2: There's like a whole process you have to go through,
Speaker 2: like what's called a medboard, and then I think mine
Speaker 2: took like ten months, I think, and you have lawyers
Speaker 2: and a lot of paperwork, a lot of doctor's appointments,
Speaker 2: and then it gets sent to like an office where
Speaker 2: one person has to confirm if you're getting discharged or not.
Speaker 2: And they have to do all of the military so
Speaker 2: like Navy, air Force, all of them. And so that's
Speaker 2: why it takes so long.
Speaker 1: What did you do right when you were medically discharged?
Speaker 2: I became an office manager for a pool construction company.
Speaker 1: And how was that?
Speaker 2: It was interesting. It was a startup company and the
Speaker 2: owners were not very good with money, and the clientele
Speaker 2: was high, like high payers. But the company I worked
Speaker 2: for was low balling everything and fucked everything up and
Speaker 2: was constantly getting sued, and so they eventually made me
Speaker 2: the bookkeeper because they had to pretty much get rid
Speaker 2: of everybody because they couldn't afford anything. And I ended
Speaker 2: up with like five different people's job, and I was
Speaker 2: the bookkeeper, so I got to see where the big
Speaker 2: account went, like negative four hundred dollars. And so when
Speaker 2: they said they wanted to have a meeting with me,
Speaker 2: I already knew that I lost my job because I
Speaker 2: watched the money disappear. It was crazy because the owner
Speaker 2: of the company, he would like show up different times
Speaker 2: and like a range Rover and then a Jaguar, and
Speaker 2: then he took all of us, or he didn't take.
Speaker 2: Well I didn't go, but he invited the whole company
Speaker 2: for midget wrestling in Norco for some reason and paid
Speaker 2: for like VIP tickets.
Speaker 1: You didn't go.
Speaker 2: So it was like on a Thursday night and like
Speaker 2: I'm married, and like I feel old now, so like
Speaker 2: I didn't want to be at a bar watching midget
Speaker 2: do that. Like that was from her early twenties.
Speaker 1: How old are you now? If you don't mind me.
Speaker 2: Asking, I turned twenty nine next week.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well you're not old.
Speaker 2: I feel old, like after the military, Like, I feel
Speaker 2: like I got my ass beat and everything hurts.
Speaker 1: Do you So, what are you doing now? Are you
Speaker 1: still working at that pool company?
Speaker 2: No? So they went belly up, and then I was
Speaker 2: unemployed and collecting the unemployment for a bit, and then
Speaker 2: I started to use my VA benefits to go to school.
Speaker 2: So I'm pursuing my bachelor's in health science.
Speaker 1: Okay, well, what's the ultimate goal with that, like, become
Speaker 1: like some kind of medical person thing.
Speaker 2: Mmm, you would think so, but no, So I don't
Speaker 2: really feel like working again. I want to pursue the
Speaker 2: career being a stay at home mom after and me
Speaker 2: and my husband made a deal that I can be
Speaker 2: a stay at home mom as long as I'm educated beforehand,
Speaker 2: so that when I am actively a mother, I do
Speaker 2: have the ability to have a job if I wanted one.
Speaker 1: So you made a deal with your husband that he
Speaker 1: would financially support you being a stay at home mom
Speaker 1: as long as you went to school and.
Speaker 2: Got my degree before we started having kids.
Speaker 1: Yes, how long is it going to take for you
Speaker 1: to get your degree?
Speaker 2: I'm almost done, actually in it. We're both in school
Speaker 2: right now. Is we're both working on our bachelor's degree,
Speaker 2: so that's a cool part of the deal. We're doing
Speaker 2: it together.
Speaker 1: The are you going to same school?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Oh cool, same degree.
Speaker 2: No, he's going for it.
Speaker 1: Are you like taking out like student loans and shiit?
Speaker 4: No this.
Speaker 2: He's in the military too, So we're both veterans using
Speaker 2: our VA benefits to go to school and we get
Speaker 2: a housing allowance and so that pays for our living
Speaker 2: while we both go to school full time.
Speaker 1: Oh kick ass. That's awesome. So are you so you
Speaker 1: just want to you just want to get a degree
Speaker 1: just to have it, just to say that you can
Speaker 1: get a job if you wanted to. Yeah, very cool.
Speaker 1: Was that always your goal, like to be a stay
Speaker 1: at home mom?
Speaker 2: Fuck no. Before I met my husband, I was never
Speaker 2: getting married. I was never having children. But he's so amazing.
Speaker 2: I completely changed me and my mind, and now I
Speaker 2: want to be a stay at home mom doing like
Speaker 2: a homeschool thing or something.
Speaker 1: Wait, tell me more. That's kind of fascinating. Why do
Speaker 1: you think you flipped, dude?
Speaker 2: I swear like the first time I like hung out
Speaker 2: with him, there was like fireworks and it felt like
Speaker 2: a movie. I swear it's like a movie. And I
Speaker 2: tell him all the time. I was like, what voodoo
Speaker 2: did you do to me? Because I used to be
Speaker 2: a thug, but now I'm all soft and sensitive, Like
Speaker 2: I want to take care of your children.
Speaker 1: You used to be a thug.
Speaker 2: I just told you from I'm from Bakersfield, Like it's build.
Speaker 1: Worldwist what what do you I mean if you want
Speaker 1: to elaborate.
Speaker 5: Like what sure like into Like I was like eight
Speaker 5: years old and in the car with a parent to
Speaker 5: help sober up my uncle and cover.
Speaker 2: Up his voice or not his voices, cover up his uh,
Speaker 2: his breath of alcohol with coffee because he just do you.
Speaker 2: I crashed into the side of a house. My aunt,
Speaker 2: who was my babysitter for a few years, was a murderer.
Speaker 2: She murdered somebody, like maybe like a couple of years after,
Speaker 2: like she stopped babysitting me, and then.
Speaker 1: What else, Well wait a minute, wait minute, but yeah,
Speaker 1: but those are all stories about your family. I'm talking
Speaker 1: about you.
Speaker 2: But I'm actively in those things. I'm the person handing
Speaker 2: the drunk guy the coffee. Like I'm a little kid
Speaker 2: actively doing these things.
Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, okay, but I don't know if
Speaker 1: I mean yeah, but okay, if you're hold on, hold
Speaker 1: on being eight years old and helping your family and
Speaker 1: kind of blindly being with your family while they do
Speaker 1: quote unquote thug things, well I don't think it makes
Speaker 1: you a thug.
Speaker 2: Well that in cases teaches me as a young kid
Speaker 2: that these things are okay. I never learned until recently
Speaker 2: that these things were not okay. And so in my
Speaker 2: early twenties I have done, like I don't want to
Speaker 2: go in detail my stuff, but because of the stuff
Speaker 2: I was exposed to as a young child, I did
Speaker 2: some hood rat shit in my early twenties speaking it
Speaker 2: was okay. And now that I'm in my last year
Speaker 2: of my twenties, I'm like, I'm surprised I'm alive, and
Speaker 2: I'm surprised I've never been arrested and everything turned out okay.
Speaker 1: Hmmm, do you still keep in good contact with your parents?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: Is it like totally nothing?
Speaker 2: My dad's totally nothing. And then my mom, that's a
Speaker 2: weird situation with her because she didn't know she was
Speaker 2: a horrible mother. And then I started going to therapy and
Speaker 2: I was like, Yo, did you know this this and
Speaker 2: this and this was like fucked up, and she was like, oh,
Speaker 2: I had no idea, and now she's like weird about it.
Speaker 2: I don't want to talk.
Speaker 1: When did you stop talking to your parents?
Speaker 2: Well, my dad called me randomly. Remember I was talking
Speaker 2: about getting discharged for that brain thing. Yes, so I
Speaker 2: was in the process of that and my dad randomly
Speaker 2: called me and was like, I never want to speak
Speaker 2: to you again. And I was like, well, okay, and
Speaker 2: then he hasn't talked to me since. And that wasn't
Speaker 2: maybe like twenty twenty one.
Speaker 1: And why would your dad randomly call you after not
Speaker 1: talking to you to say he doesn't want to talk
Speaker 1: to you. That's so bizarre.
Speaker 2: On he's like a narcissist and mentally ill and alcoholic.
Speaker 2: So there's a.
Speaker 1: Do you what about like siblings?
Speaker 2: My older sister I found well, I recently realized that
Speaker 2: she was my biggest hater in life and tried to
Speaker 2: like sabotage my happiness. And so she's seven years older
Speaker 2: than me, and she's my half sister. So my mom
Speaker 2: was married to somebody else before her. But my sister
Speaker 2: is seven years older than me and would take me
Speaker 2: on the weekend starting at age fourteen'll get me drunk
Speaker 2: every weekend until I left for the military and let
Speaker 2: me get like blacked out and become an alcoholic and
Speaker 2: just do all this stupid stuff. And I thought I
Speaker 2: was spending quality time with my sister, but I realized
Speaker 2: she was my biggest hater and I confronted her about it.
Speaker 2: I was like, hey, the ain't cool and she just
Speaker 2: does not get it. So yeah, I haven't really talked
Speaker 2: to her in like a year now.
Speaker 1: Huh how I you know, look, if it's the whole
Speaker 1: thing to get into, then we don't have to. But like,
Speaker 1: does that are you kind of like is what it is?
Speaker 1: I'm going to start my own family about it? Or
Speaker 1: does that are you like bummed about it?
Speaker 2: Well, she's like super negative, Like she's always late. I
Speaker 2: hate when people are late. That's like my biggest pet
Speaker 2: teas shes as negative and yelling. So like not having
Speaker 2: her in my life for the past year has been
Speaker 2: really good.
Speaker 1: Actually, okay cool? What about like friends? What about like
Speaker 1: friends from Bakersfield? Do you still have any friends from
Speaker 1: from around that time of your life?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 1: Did you have friends during that time in your life?
Speaker 2: Yeah? I had friends, but I don't know, just it
Speaker 2: seems like the people in Bakersfield are stuck to thinking
Speaker 2: that like having a good time, his being in somebody's
Speaker 2: backyard getting like blacked out drunk. Yeah, that's where. And
Speaker 2: I'm not into that. Like I would love to have
Speaker 2: like an intellectual conversation or go to a museum or
Speaker 2: do something cool, and people in Bakersfield do that.
Speaker 1: They have museums in Bakersfield, right, They've.
Speaker 5: Got stuff I don't remember.
Speaker 1: Well, let's see, hmmm, and where did you meet? Where
Speaker 1: did you meet your husbands? Are you guys married yet?
Speaker 2: Yeah, we've been married for I think almost four years.
Speaker 1: Oh cool.
Speaker 2: Where'd you guys meet in the military. He used to
Speaker 2: be my supervisor at one point.
Speaker 1: Interesting And so you what you met him when you
Speaker 1: were twenty four twenty three?
Speaker 2: Yeah, around twenty four.
Speaker 1: I think, and you were like, I'm never getting married,
Speaker 1: I'm never having kids and never doing any that shit.
Speaker 1: And you meet him and you're like, oh, okay, I
Speaker 1: want to I want to do all that shit now, Yes? Cool?
Speaker 1: What's his deal? Who is he?
Speaker 2: He is amazing. He's so smart and artistic and there's
Speaker 2: like a nerdy size to him, like he's been a
Speaker 2: gamer since forever. And he's also into working out and
Speaker 2: he's a handy man. We bought this place together and
Speaker 2: he redid the whole thing, kind of like Chip and
Speaker 2: Joe Anne style, Like, h he's so dreamy.
Speaker 1: That's wonderful. That's so it sounds like you, I have
Speaker 1: had a great uh life one eighty.
Speaker 2: Kind of like have crippling depression. So like I have
Speaker 2: this amazing life, but it's still like I'm still sad.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, that was what I was gonna ask, are
Speaker 1: you or do you like, how do you feel about
Speaker 1: life now?
Speaker 2: Ship? My life's amazing, but it's just so hard to
Speaker 2: be in the moment. I'm trying to be more in
Speaker 2: the moment.
Speaker 1: Why do you find it hard to be in the moment?
Speaker 6: Oh?
Speaker 2: I just have like I'll hold on one second.
Speaker 1: My mouth is dry, but what are you? Are you
Speaker 1: taking some water?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: That's good. I gotta drink more water. I just I
Speaker 1: keep doing the fucking Gatorade zero and the Diet Coke
Speaker 1: and the Snapple zero. And it's like when am When
Speaker 1: When am I going to drink some fucking water? You know?
Speaker 1: Water is good when you.
Speaker 2: Feel like changing. Yeah, Oh, I just read the I
Speaker 2: just read the Mel Robinson book The Lesson Theory, how
Speaker 2: to recommend it? Love it?
Speaker 1: Yeah, what'd you think about that?
Speaker 2: I thought it was amazing and life changing and I
Speaker 2: don't know, I feel like I'm gonna have a lot
Speaker 2: of wisdom as a person because I've had a lot
Speaker 2: of life experiences. But Mels, I think she's did either
Speaker 2: in her sixties or late fifties, and all of this
Speaker 2: wisdom that she's providing in this book, for anyone who's
Speaker 2: pretty young to read it would have a step ahead
Speaker 2: in life. I feel what.
Speaker 1: Exactly what is the thesis of the let them theory?
Speaker 2: So pretty much let them so a lot of anxiety
Speaker 2: and we automatically as humans want to control things, but
Speaker 2: it's pretty much giving up the control and being like
Speaker 2: let them or let whatever happens, and then you just
Speaker 2: from there you say let me, and then you decide
Speaker 2: to choose what to do.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm big on that. I'm big on that. I
Speaker 1: forget if I talked about this in the podcast already,
Speaker 1: but like you ever like I'll have a thing, I'll
Speaker 1: have a I'll have a thing. Now I've made like
Speaker 1: an intentional change to my thoughts where I'll be like,
Speaker 1: you ever leave a social interaction? And I forget if
Speaker 1: I said this on the podcast, all right, but who cares?
Speaker 1: You ever leave a social interaction and you're like, oh, man,
Speaker 1: I think I was kind of annoying or I think
Speaker 1: I was I kind of they're probably talking shit about
Speaker 1: me right now? Or you know, is that familiar feeling
Speaker 1: to you?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: And now now I when I have that thought, I'm like, well,
Speaker 1: so what who you know? Yeah, let them Well, who
Speaker 1: gives a shit? Who cares if I'm annoying? It's fine?
Speaker 1: You know who else was annoying? SpongeBob and everyone loves me?
Speaker 2: True? Oh, I'm actually part of this VA class called act,
Speaker 2: which is like accept something.
Speaker 1: Accepting some commitment therapy.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that ship, Yeah, that ship feels really good. I've
Speaker 1: like kind of just stumbled upon that, uh in my
Speaker 1: own like just line of thinking. It feels great to
Speaker 1: like let it, let it go and let you know, well, yeah,
Speaker 1: especially if you're like making ship on the internet and
Speaker 1: you I mean not even making shit. You don't even
Speaker 1: have to make sure it if you use the internet,
Speaker 1: or honestly, if you're a human being living life, you
Speaker 1: just encounter so much like vitual fucking everywhere, and you
Speaker 1: can't do anything except uh, accept that which you cannot control.
Speaker 1: So I'm I'm I'm into that ship. I drink I'll
Speaker 1: drink the metal Robins kool aid.
Speaker 2: I was speaking of spiritual ship. So me and my
Speaker 2: husband are having conversation about this. What at what point
Speaker 2: do you think consciousness consciousness comes into a body of
Speaker 2: a person, Like is it when conception happens, or is
Speaker 2: it when I don't know twenty five when it happens,
Speaker 2: or at one point is a person like a conscious being?
Speaker 1: I have no idea. I don't even have any theories.
Speaker 1: I think, uh, yeah, I have no idea. I think
Speaker 1: that that's a thing that people just don't know. There
Speaker 1: could be, you know what, There could be like a
Speaker 1: an unseen dimension through which things like souls and consciousnesses travel.
Speaker 1: I mean probably not, it's probably it's probably probably biological
Speaker 1: shit to it.
Speaker 2: But well, I don't I feel like there definitely is
Speaker 2: different different dimensions because I've been able to like disassociate
Speaker 2: to where I can see myself having a conversation.
Speaker 1: Oh you've had an add of body experience, yes.
Speaker 2: And there has to be like different dimensions and stuff
Speaker 2: because like everything was in slow motion and it was weird.
Speaker 1: Do are you from it? Do you know what dp
Speaker 1: DR is, no, like de personalization, derealization. Yeah, it's like
Speaker 1: a it's kind of like, yeah, like an out of
Speaker 1: body experience, like a little bit what you're talking about.
Speaker 1: And I think a lot of like mental illnesses are
Speaker 1: like but this is coming from no research. This is
Speaker 1: coming from just thinking about this shit.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I have no form of any kind of academic background
Speaker 1: except sitting in a lecture hall while Mission imp uh
Speaker 1: while the professor play scenes from Mission Impossible when we
Speaker 1: take notes on it. That's my academic background. But I
Speaker 1: was thinking like, like, like mental illnesses are kind of
Speaker 1: like uh, like defects in consciousness, you know, because I
Speaker 1: don't think that like like like that, like do I
Speaker 1: don't know if animals have I mean, humans are the
Speaker 1: most conscious living things that we're at least at least
Speaker 1: we're aware of on the planet Earth. And like I
Speaker 1: don't know if dogs. I think dogs get like depressed
Speaker 1: and anxious, but I don't I don't think that dog.
Speaker 1: I don't know if there's any like schizophrenic dogs or
Speaker 1: like if dogs ever have like depersonalization or out of
Speaker 1: body experiences or psychosises. I think those are like unique.
Speaker 2: Not.
Speaker 1: Definitely dogs that have PTSD. Definitely, there's definitely like a
Speaker 1: lot of human dog mental illnesses. Are the humans and
Speaker 1: dogs definitely share a lot of that kind of shit.
Speaker 1: But there there's some weird like things that happen in
Speaker 1: like to humans that I think are like unique to
Speaker 1: the level of consciousness that we have. And it's yeah,
Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I
Speaker 1: I consciousness just seems to be something that like naturally
Speaker 1: evolved in some way. I don't know if there's a
Speaker 1: spiritual element to it, but I think like mysticism and
Speaker 1: spirit like the idea of an unseen dimension and whatnot,
Speaker 1: could could be things that, uh, you can you can
Speaker 1: start thinking about once we we hit the point where, uh,
Speaker 1: science cannot explain certain things, but science can explain like
Speaker 1: a kind of a hell of a lot.
Speaker 2: I think, Yeah, I think so too.
Speaker 5: Oh.
Speaker 2: Also, I wanted to mention last summer I took this
Speaker 2: medical anthropology class, and from what I gathered in the
Speaker 2: class is that every other country besides like the US,
Speaker 2: they incorporate spirituality into their medical healing and we're the
Speaker 2: only people who don't. And it's interesting because there's a
Speaker 2: lot of placebo in these actual healings when test trials
Speaker 2: are done, and it really shows the the power of
Speaker 2: the mind and healing and believing that you're going to
Speaker 2: be healed based on what's happening. Very interesting.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know that, Like, like I know, I've heard
Speaker 1: stories of like people who have cancer where it's like
Speaker 1: you have, like there's there is some mind body connection
Speaker 1: of like uh like fighting, you know, like like believing
Speaker 1: that things will get better. That might be total fucking
Speaker 1: complete pseudoscience bullshit, But this whole conversation may may absolutely
Speaker 1: very well be pseudo scientific bullshit. But like, this.
Speaker 2: Is the type of shit I think about. Like I'm
Speaker 2: walking down like I'm in school now, I'm walking down
Speaker 2: the the courtyard and everyone has headbutts and I'm trying
Speaker 2: to talk to people and have these thoughts about these
Speaker 2: random ass univers things and just no connection for that.
Speaker 1: You said that they incorporates spiritual spirituality and like medical
Speaker 1: situations places outside the US, Like do you have an.
Speaker 5: Example, Yes, they do do that, and no, not off
Speaker 5: the top of my head, that's okay, horrible memory, that's right,
Speaker 5: but it would tell you what if you ever come
Speaker 5: across any class like that, highly recommend it.
Speaker 1: So you're having problems finding people who can connect with
Speaker 1: you on all the existential shit that you want to
Speaker 1: think about.
Speaker 2: And talk about, well, my husband's pretty great at talking
Speaker 2: to me about it because we're pretty similar. But out
Speaker 2: in like the real world, not really like at school,
Speaker 2: I try to talk to people, but everyone has their
Speaker 2: head budgeon and I wouldn't even realize that. I'm like, hey,
Speaker 2: how are you doing? And then they just like walk
Speaker 2: away from me, and I'm just like, I hope they
Speaker 2: had had budgeton at least everyone else.
Speaker 1: Has them in Are you when you say that? Are
Speaker 1: you like? Are these just people like all like walking
Speaker 1: around this on the campus.
Speaker 2: I'm on campus in class, like everyone in my campus
Speaker 2: like always has headbudgs.
Speaker 1: Or nobody nobody wants to talk to you.
Speaker 2: It doesn't seem like anybody talks to anybody in the
Speaker 2: campus is always like really it's not active.
Speaker 1: Is it a major school?
Speaker 2: It's a CSU.
Speaker 1: CSU California State University.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I yes, that's big, but yeah, well not really
Speaker 2: that many people. Well, also, a lot of classes right
Speaker 2: now are getting canceled because there's not that many students,
Speaker 2: and I've heard faculty talk about a lot of cuts.
Speaker 1: I was going to ask, have you been making friends
Speaker 1: in school or like just in because you said you
Speaker 1: didn't have any friends from back in Bakersfield? Do you
Speaker 1: have new friends where you are now?
Speaker 2: Fine school? But I made some friends off of bumble
Speaker 2: bsf Oh cool. Yeah, I've met a cool a bunch
Speaker 2: of cool people. Off. There's funny. It feels kind of
Speaker 2: like high school dating because I would like meet up
Speaker 2: with these girls and we would like smoke in their
Speaker 2: car and then we'd go to eat and then that
Speaker 2: was a hangout?
Speaker 1: Is it? You know what I love? I'm twenty seven.
Speaker 1: I mean we're basically we're, you know, late twenties. And
Speaker 1: I love when I when I have like a social situation.
Speaker 1: This happened to be kind of recently when I have
Speaker 1: like a social situation where I'm like, oh, I never
Speaker 1: thought I I thought I thought that I would never
Speaker 1: do something like this again. Like I thought this was
Speaker 1: like reserved for when you're in like high school and college,
Speaker 1: you know, like when you're like like like when you're
Speaker 1: like twenty seven and you're like, right, like you're twice
Speaker 1: seven and you're like hanging out with like other people
Speaker 1: around your age, getting high in a car or something,
Speaker 1: and then you go like eat food. You're like, wholl
Speaker 1: I didn't realize we could keep doing this.
Speaker 2: Well, that's a lovely part of being this age and
Speaker 2: not having children. Right, yes, because a lot of people
Speaker 2: I went to school with and like I didn't go
Speaker 2: to my ten year reunion and actually canceled it because
Speaker 2: not enough people bought tickets. But any who, a lot
Speaker 2: of them are like parents of three by now, like
Speaker 2: a lot of them are.
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I mean I think that like like I
Speaker 4: don't know, I I'm in the I'm not really actively,
Speaker 4: but like I spent a lot of time.
Speaker 1: In like the comedy universe, and in the comedy universe,
Speaker 1: Like it's interesting because you'll be like twenty one, going
Speaker 1: to open mics and shit, and you'll just be hanging
Speaker 1: out with like a thirty seven year old dude with
Speaker 1: a wife and kids who's you know what. I like,
Speaker 1: maybe his kids are like a tiny bit older and
Speaker 1: what whatever, Like he's but he's out at the bar
Speaker 1: doing the doing the comedy and you and him are
Speaker 1: hanging out and drinking, and it's like, oh, I guess
Speaker 1: you can keep living like I. I guess you can
Speaker 1: keep living life as a mother or father without neglecting
Speaker 1: your children. That you can still do shit.
Speaker 2: You know, I've never really witnessed that. All of the
Speaker 2: people that I've seen that are like parents just go
Speaker 2: home and watch TV after work.
Speaker 1: I think you know what it is is, I think,
Speaker 1: what what do you live? I think it's a city thing. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I think it's a city thing more than it is
Speaker 1: like because I think if you're if you have like
Speaker 1: kids in the suburbs, you're you're probably likely to live
Speaker 1: like a suburban life. But yeah, I mean when I
Speaker 1: was in like doing stand up in like Baltimore, Philly,
Speaker 1: or you know, hanging around in New York, you know,
Speaker 1: I would meet these people who were I mean shit,
Speaker 1: I just went to Tijuana and I hung out with
Speaker 1: shout out my homide Diego. I made it. I'm making
Speaker 1: a video about it, which you will will see soon.
Speaker 1: But he's a great example because he's, uh, this guy
Speaker 1: hung out with Diego. I went to Tijuana to meet
Speaker 1: up with him. He's like a break he organizes like
Speaker 1: the break dance community in Tijuana, and he has a
Speaker 1: young son, and it's like, you know, one night he's
Speaker 1: bad he's badass, and I was hanging out with and
Speaker 1: he has like, well, I see, I'm gonna I'm gonna
Speaker 1: talk about that in the video. He's like, you know,
Speaker 1: I hung out with him for a few days, and
Speaker 1: you know, we go when we do the break dance battle,
Speaker 1: and him and like the other dancers are like hanging
Speaker 1: out drinking afterwards. But you know, everyone's like, you know,
Speaker 1: early thirties, late twenties, and it's like, you know, then
Speaker 1: the next morning we go out to eat, it's him
Speaker 1: and his wife. If he brings his kid, you know,
Speaker 1: he's fucking showing his kid, Bluey and playing with him
Speaker 1: and talking to him, and it's like he's there. I'm
Speaker 1: like I'm watching this guy, and I'm like, oh shit,
Speaker 1: you can. You can be a dad and still have
Speaker 1: a life, you know, I think, And yeah, I do
Speaker 1: think that's a that's a city thing. I think, Yeah,
Speaker 1: I do think that's like a city a thing.
Speaker 2: Because I remember I wanted to sign up for like
Speaker 2: karate or some ship after school, and my mom was
Speaker 2: always too busy with work anything. So I think it's
Speaker 2: definitely a priorities thing too.
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm, mm hmmm. I mean it's well also it's
Speaker 1: I guess, I guess ideally, and I don't want to
Speaker 1: speak too much about these things because I don't have
Speaker 1: kids yet, but I'm like, you know, but I'm I'm
Speaker 1: thinking I think about these things a lot because I
Speaker 1: I just I know myself and I know that, like
Speaker 1: I just I love doing stuff and I'm probably gonna
Speaker 1: want to like do stuff and live my life and
Speaker 1: be you know, out and about and live in life
Speaker 1: and whatever. Uh probably probably forever for a long time.
Speaker 1: But I also want to have a kid, and I'm
Speaker 1: trying to think about and then you know, I'm like,
Speaker 1: I don't know if I can do that, And then
Speaker 1: I meet people who do it, and I'm like, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of different kinds of dads. And also look,
Speaker 1: I mean there's two of you ideally, So it's like,
Speaker 1: I guess arrangements could be made where it's like, hey,
Speaker 1: you know, if you have your thing that you want
Speaker 1: to do at this point in time, and the week
Speaker 1: you go do it, I'll be home and then we'll
Speaker 1: schedule out. This time is a great time. We can
Speaker 1: all be together as a family. And you know, if
Speaker 1: I have a thing I want to do, you you know,
Speaker 1: it's it seems to be a figure outable thing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, totally. I feel so inspired now. I want to
Speaker 2: be a parent, do some ship.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean don't. I mean I think some people ever,
Speaker 1: like you can't just like abandon your kid to go
Speaker 1: to Guatemala or whatever.
Speaker 2: But oh with them, with them, right right?
Speaker 1: I mean I had we had I do a yearly
Speaker 1: trip with my friends from home and one of our
Speaker 1: one of them has a kid. You know, he came
Speaker 1: on the trip. It was just it was his first
Speaker 1: his kids really young. It was his first time getting
Speaker 1: to do some ship like that in like six months.
Speaker 1: But a game. You know, he's able to do it.
Speaker 1: He made it. He made it work.
Speaker 2: That's so cool.
Speaker 1: So what's your husband like do.
Speaker 2: He's a full time student and he pretty much hangs
Speaker 2: out with me every day and we're pretty much like
Speaker 2: So we both had like the same thing. We both
Speaker 2: like got out of high school and then went into
Speaker 2: the military really young, so we never had like our
Speaker 2: college years and this is our college years. We're both
Speaker 2: towards thirty and smoking weed every day, studying, playing video games,
Speaker 2: and we have three dogs. We just hang out.
Speaker 1: Cool. Well you always, I mean, so your life is
Speaker 1: already semi restricted in some sense that you have three dogs.
Speaker 2: God. Yeah, but we take them a lot of places too.
Speaker 1: They were cool. Great, there's a loaded question. Maybe it's
Speaker 1: a person. Why do you feel depressed?
Speaker 2: One day last year, I remembered my childhood, so like
Speaker 2: I was an alcoholic from like fourteen to like twenty
Speaker 2: five when I met my husband and then so then
Speaker 2: I was sober for a couple of years, and then
Speaker 2: something clicked and I remembered everything. And it was crazy
Speaker 2: because before that I didn't really remember my childhood, and
Speaker 2: I thought I had a great childhood, perfect parents, and
Speaker 2: then one day I realized that was a fantasy.
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
Speaker 2: But ever since then, well things picked up, Like I
Speaker 2: got some antidepressants and I've never had more energy in
Speaker 2: my life.
Speaker 1: Oh good.
Speaker 2: Like the other day I shredded like three boxes of
Speaker 2: papers that needed to be shredded for like years, Like
Speaker 2: I'm doing ship.
Speaker 1: Cool. What do you what can I ask what you're taking? Answer?
Speaker 1: You're taking?
Speaker 2: So this semester. I think I'm taking jazz history and
Speaker 2: what else?
Speaker 1: Oh no, I meant, I meant, I meant, I meant the.
Speaker 2: Meds oh Meds first with the deed. Do Alexaitene?
Speaker 1: I think do Lexatine?
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, I think so.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that one that's cool.
Speaker 1: Has it and it's been it's been good. It's given
Speaker 1: you some energy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, energy, Like before I wasn't able to like take
Speaker 2: a shower by myself, like my husband washed my hair
Speaker 2: for me. But now I can do all that and
Speaker 2: I'm great.
Speaker 1: It's wonderful. Congratulations, thank you, bro. It is It is crazy,
Speaker 1: and I I know I don't shut the fuck up
Speaker 1: about vibance on this podcast, but like it is great.
Speaker 1: It is great to have. Taking prescription drugs is so
Speaker 1: interesting because if you if you find the one that
Speaker 1: works for you, you're just like, oh fuck, I didn't
Speaker 1: realize I didn't realize that this was this didn't I
Speaker 1: didn't realize that this didn't have to be the default
Speaker 1: state of my brain forever.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's crazy.
Speaker 1: Do you go to real therapy to talk about like
Speaker 1: childhood shit?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'm I guess like three sessions in but
Speaker 2: the therapist hasn't even had a minute to talk. I
Speaker 2: just keep on going on and.
Speaker 1: On and on. Has it been like helpful?
Speaker 2: Actually, you telling us that you journal and chat GPT
Speaker 2: because I waited a year to get a consultation for
Speaker 2: the therapist and so for the meantime I was doing
Speaker 2: the chat GPT and journaling and that's been amazing.
Speaker 1: You know, dude, It's it's hard. It's hard because I
Speaker 1: know it's a controversial subject. But like, but like fuck man,
Speaker 1: like it's really good, you know, it is. Really it's like,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm I'm I'm sorry. If, by
Speaker 1: the way, I don't I'm not endorsing anything. I just
Speaker 1: say what I do. I just I'm just telling everyone
Speaker 1: what I do, and if you want to do it,
Speaker 1: then that's well. I'm just telling you what I do.
Speaker 1: This is a speaking the fact of how I live
Speaker 1: my life. If if it turns out that uh sam
Speaker 1: Oltman is is using all of our uh depression trauma
Speaker 1: dumps to build a robot that kills dogs, then that's
Speaker 1: I'll find I'll find that out. At the same time
Speaker 1: all of you do.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but we used to use LimeWire, like we're fearless.
Speaker 1: But yeah, it was really helpful. It's like my friend,
Speaker 1: I have a friend who does it too, and he
Speaker 1: he he actually came up with the he. I thought
Speaker 1: it was really genius the way he described it. He
Speaker 1: told me it felt like journaling squared.
Speaker 2: I do like that it has questions that asked you
Speaker 2: to think about.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not and I don't think I'm not gonna
Speaker 1: go on up whatever, but like it's it's fucking helpful
Speaker 1: because it's like, you know, if I'm going insane at
Speaker 1: three o'clock in the morning, like you know, it's it's it's, it's, it's,
Speaker 1: it's there. And again, they might be using they might
Speaker 1: be using all of our ship to train to create
Speaker 1: a mass nuclear weapon, but I you know, that's that's
Speaker 1: beyond me. I have no fucking idea mine anyway. I mean,
Speaker 1: has real therapy been cool?
Speaker 2: I don't know. It's just me talking and then the
Speaker 2: lady saying, all right, see you in two weeks for
Speaker 2: more of the story. I guess it was like an intake,
Speaker 2: but the intake's like three sessions long. M hm, Well,
Speaker 2: I guess you taught me some grounding stuff that really helped.
Speaker 2: Oh and then I've been doing somatic yoga. I have
Speaker 2: never been attached to my body before, and it's crazy.
Speaker 2: I was always very clumsy, not able to do things
Speaker 2: with precision with my fingers, like I always dropped wrenches,
Speaker 2: and now I'm able to actually feel my body. It's
Speaker 2: really strange to be like disconnected from your body.
Speaker 1: What what what is the word somatic? Man?
Speaker 2: You'd have to google it. I don't remember, but I
Speaker 2: know it's like a system in your body that needs
Speaker 2: I guess, like regulation.
Speaker 1: Okay, that's cool. What is like somatic yoga? What do
Speaker 1: you actually like do?
Speaker 2: It's just yoga stretches that last way longer and you
Speaker 2: like breathe more breadths in between, and it just releases
Speaker 2: tension that you have built up in your body.
Speaker 1: Cool. Cool, I like that. I'm sorry to hear. Well,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Actually I don't know what I am
Speaker 1: because you sound you sound like you sound like you're
Speaker 1: on I mean, this is just a just a personal
Speaker 1: observation from the forty three minutes that we've been talking.
Speaker 1: But it sounds like you're on a upward trajectory.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, things looking like I'm a homeowner. My car's
Speaker 2: paid off. I'm not in school debt like I'm hanging out.
Speaker 2: I just need to be in the moment and enjoy it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I hope you've become less depressed.
Speaker 2: Thank you you as well.
Speaker 1: And I hope you. I hope you don't stop feeling
Speaker 1: old because you know what, By the way, you know
Speaker 1: what it is is I have something what helps me
Speaker 1: feel not old is what is looking at people who
Speaker 1: are actually old. Like like I was walking down I
Speaker 1: was walking down the street in uh Manhattan yesterday and
Speaker 1: I saw a dude must have been in like his
Speaker 1: late fifties, and he had a backpack. You can be,
Speaker 1: you can be in your life and I had a backpack.
Speaker 1: And it's like me and this guy are both walking
Speaker 1: through New York with a fucking backpack. You know what
Speaker 1: I mean, Like you can do it. You can be
Speaker 1: in your late fifties walking through a city with a
Speaker 1: fucking backpack. I got like I got at least I'm
Speaker 1: twenty seven. I have done in double the amount of
Speaker 1: time I've been a lot. He's like he is a backpack.
Speaker 1: Like I saw this. I swear to God, I saw
Speaker 1: this guy. I don't know why I said, I swear
Speaker 1: to God. As if I'm like describing seeing the lock
Speaker 1: of Monster. But that is what it felt like for me.
Speaker 1: I know, I'm actually, I'm actually serious. I saw this
Speaker 1: fucking guy walking. He must have been fifty five years old,
Speaker 1: that's me times two, and he was he was walking
Speaker 1: down the street with a backpack, and he like looked
Speaker 1: at his watch, and I was and I saw him,
Speaker 1: and I was like, look at this guy. This guy's
Speaker 1: double my age walking down the street with a backpack,
Speaker 1: and he's got he's got places to be. He's alive.
Speaker 1: He's not fucking dead. You know, he's he's he's living,
Speaker 1: he's doing it. I don't know what he's on his
Speaker 1: way to. He might be on his way to collapse
Speaker 1: the agricultural industry or something, but he's he's living his life,
Speaker 1: you know, he's he's there. So we're I think we
Speaker 1: still got a lot more time left to you know,
Speaker 1: we can. We can hang out with people our age
Speaker 1: and get high in cars for a good fifty three
Speaker 1: more years probably.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so funny. My grandpa, he's like, I forgot
Speaker 2: how old he is. He was born in thirty eight.
Speaker 2: I can't do math right now. He cuts his grass
Speaker 2: like every other day because he's so bored and he's
Speaker 2: just out there making his own I guess jobs to
Speaker 2: do by fucking up his house. Like one day he
Speaker 2: went to go clean the inside glass of the oven door,
Speaker 2: the glass that you're not supposed to get in between,
Speaker 2: and he sucked up his whole oven and he made
Speaker 2: a whole new project to install a new one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's just bored. But you don't have to live
Speaker 1: that way. Like I think, like like growing up, like
Speaker 1: you say, like when I look up, like my my,
Speaker 1: my dad hasn't been where I don't know. You know
Speaker 1: why I focus on the backpack thing is because I
Speaker 1: just a backpack is just such a A backpack is
Speaker 1: a young man's game. You know. When I saw this
Speaker 1: older guy with a backpack, I was like, that's crazy.
Speaker 1: This is fucking like my what my dad was. My
Speaker 1: dad's in his sixties. He's not walking on the side.
Speaker 1: I'd walk with a backpack, but here's this guys in
Speaker 1: the sixties he's walking. Yeah. I always yeah, right, I
Speaker 1: always imagine like once you pass the I was like,
Speaker 1: once you pass a certain age, it's all briefcases, no backpacks.
Speaker 1: But it's like you can do it. You can, you can,
Speaker 1: you can't. You don't have to age out of the backpack, right.
Speaker 2: It's like like the other day asking my husband like,
Speaker 2: are we like really adults, Like we're twenty nine? We're well,
Speaker 2: I'm twenty nine and homeowners, Like this is like what
Speaker 2: it is to be an adult, Like that's crazy to
Speaker 2: things like when I was a child, my parent is
Speaker 2: twenty nine, Like that's just so crazy. They were so immature, right,
Speaker 2: and they were in charge of people's lives.
Speaker 1: I think you, I think once you get to a
Speaker 1: certain age, you realize that adulthood is somewhat of.
Speaker 2: A myth, anti clematic.
Speaker 1: It's anti climatic. You die not ever knowing the answers
Speaker 1: to any thing. I think. I I think I've determined that.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, seriously, it's anti climatic. And people talk it
Speaker 2: up too much, like they need to take take it away.
Speaker 2: I still don't even understand what it is to be
Speaker 2: an adult, Like I don't feel like one, but clearly
Speaker 2: I am one. Maybe it's imposter syndrome.
Speaker 1: I don't know, what's your name again?
Speaker 2: Said you wanted to stop?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Erica, Okay. I really enjoyed having this conversation with you.
Speaker 6: This was fun, Yeah, a great same.
Speaker 1: Let's see, is there anything else you want to talk
Speaker 1: about before we go? Or you do? Do you think
Speaker 1: we you think we covered all the bases, we can
Speaker 1: keep on going.
Speaker 2: But I forgot so I have been self isolating, and
Speaker 2: I made plans tonight and I'm gonna keep them and
Speaker 2: actually go instead of cancel.
Speaker 1: Oh please do?
Speaker 2: Yes your plans for callers?
Speaker 1: What are the plans?
Speaker 2: Going to eat Mexican food with?
Speaker 1: Who?
Speaker 2: With a girl from BUMBLEBSF Cool?
Speaker 1: Well, I'm surprised you've been self isolating because you strike
Speaker 1: me as like an extroverted person. If you're like walking
Speaker 1: around the campus trying to talk to people, I'm trying.
Speaker 2: To be extroverted just to help out, you know.
Speaker 1: Well, good, I'm glad you're Yeah, self isolating is bad.
Speaker 2: Yes, already, Well thank.
Speaker 1: You going, we'll drive you insane. You know that guy
Speaker 1: Brian Johnson, No, well, there's like a this is this guy.
Speaker 1: He's trying to live forever. But and the way he
Speaker 1: and the way and I think I heard him say
Speaker 1: some shit like I get at least thirty minutes of
Speaker 1: social social activity every day, Like it's like uh, like
Speaker 1: calculated and shit, you know, it's important to not die.
Speaker 2: He should stream this.
Speaker 1: He probably is. I don't know. I shouldn't. I shouldn't
Speaker 1: even bring him up because I actually don't know anything
Speaker 1: really that much about him. But I hope you enjoy
Speaker 1: your Mexican food.
Speaker 2: Erica, thank you?
Speaker 1: Okay, anything else you want to say to the people
Speaker 1: of the computer.
Speaker 2: Before we go, and keep your plans. Everybody get outside.
Speaker 1: Beautiful, good luck Erica, Thank you, bye bye. I really
Speaker 1: enjoyed talking her. That was nice. That was cool. Keep
Speaker 1: keep keep living life, keep doing things.
Speaker 3: Thanks for calling, man, thanks for picking up. You get
Speaker 3: a chance to read it.
Speaker 1: No, what's your name? What's what's what's up?
Speaker 3: Uh yeah, yeah, okay, I'm gonna go by otter.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I haven't prepared anything. Uh but I wanted to call
Speaker 3: in today because my life has been pretty crazy since
Speaker 3: uh you know, maybe the last few years, and some
Speaker 3: of that craziness has helped me kind of like blossom
Speaker 3: as an adult and like my life has ended up
Speaker 3: being pretty good and uh man, but I guess I
Speaker 3: can start so you know my Oh gosh, I'm like
Speaker 3: kind of nervous.
Speaker 5: Man.
Speaker 3: I know there is low stakes and all damn talking
Speaker 3: to the therapy get go. Are you still there?
Speaker 1: It's yeah, talking to the therapy get is about as
Speaker 1: low stakes as it sounds.
Speaker 3: I know, man, So yeah, I you know, growing up,
Speaker 3: you know, Okay, I guess for reference, let me give
Speaker 3: you the two long TLDR. Here. I'm thirty one now,
Speaker 3: and I, you know, very recently just got my life
Speaker 3: together a little bit. I you know, haven't been in
Speaker 3: a lot of relationships. You know, was very shy, and
Speaker 3: you know, I basically lost my virginity at age twenty nine.
Speaker 3: And yeah, yeah, and you know it. I I've moved
Speaker 3: in with girlfriends and I've been with her now for
Speaker 3: over a year. So the thing that kind of led
Speaker 3: me here is so growing up, I was very shy.
Speaker 3: I was like kind of afraid of to talk to women,
Speaker 3: which sounds weird, but like, you know, it was just
Speaker 3: a thing that you know, felt very unnatural to me,
Speaker 3: and I took a lot of practice to kind of,
Speaker 3: you know, do this. And I also worked really intense
Speaker 3: like jobs at startups. I'm like a software engineer, and
Speaker 3: like I was working my ass off, and I really
Speaker 3: didn't have a lot of time to socialize in college
Speaker 3: or when I graduated, and then fucking COVID happened, and
Speaker 3: that was even like fewer opportunities to hang out with
Speaker 3: people and talk, and like, dude, I just like started
Speaker 3: to develop like the worst anxiety and like just kind
Speaker 3: of just feelings of loneliness and you know, spending a
Speaker 3: lot of time alone, I started to develop like really
Speaker 3: bad and Sammie and Ship and and then the real
Speaker 3: kicker is in twenty twenty two. Winter of twenty twenty two,
Speaker 3: my mom was diagnosed with cancer and she ended up
Speaker 3: passing eleven months later. And honestly, it was like the
Speaker 3: hardest thing that I had ever been through. You know,
Speaker 3: I had moved home from COVID, and then while my
Speaker 3: mom was sick, I you know, stayed home and helped
Speaker 3: care for her. So it was just really like not
Speaker 3: a good place, man. I.
Speaker 2: I I.
Speaker 3: Was very alone, and I was dealing with, you know,
Speaker 3: the trauma of caring for this my very sick mother.
Speaker 3: And you know, after she passed, I finally moved, you
Speaker 3: know out of my family's house after like two years
Speaker 3: of living there, and you know, I basically entered a
Speaker 3: very dark depression because you know, I had been very
Speaker 3: reliant on family for those past two years, and I
Speaker 3: ended up moving alone and now I'm like alone with
Speaker 3: four walls around me, and basically, you know, I am
Speaker 3: I'm dealing with all this trauma that I had experienced
Speaker 3: over the last year. I ended up having lots of problems,
Speaker 3: and like maybe a few months into it, like I
Speaker 3: just just like realized, like I don't want to kill
Speaker 3: myself right now, but if I don't do anything, I'm
Speaker 3: probably gonna want to kill myself. So I ended up
Speaker 3: like calling the doctor's office and being like, Hi, I'm
Speaker 3: very depressed and I can't sleep, Please help me. And
Speaker 3: from that I ended up going to like actually therapy,
Speaker 3: uh and I ended up starting on like lexicro and
Speaker 3: uh man, that did a lot for me, you know,
Speaker 3: really just like kind of like overnight, like I started
Speaker 3: to feel a lot better than shit. I you know,
Speaker 3: ended up being able to sleep more, ended up like
Speaker 3: just not feeling like there was a gorilla on my
Speaker 3: back all the time, and I was able to like
Speaker 3: just like start enjoying my life again. And by the way,
Speaker 3: still a virgin at this time. Still dating is out
Speaker 3: of the question. But like you know, I was always
Speaker 3: really big into the gym, and I started taking it
Speaker 3: even more seriously, and like, you know, in a past episode,
Speaker 3: you know, you kept talking about how you don't believe,
Speaker 3: Like I think you corrected yourself, but you were like, oh,
Speaker 3: I don't believe theta of your future self, And like
Speaker 3: when I moved that, I was like, dude, that can't be,
Speaker 3: Like that is so untrue because like, you know, obviously
Speaker 3: what you're doing, you want to be authentic, you know
Speaker 3: what I mean, You want to be authentic to yourself.
Speaker 3: But like, I really think you can be authentic to
Speaker 3: yourself and be like that's the kind of person I
Speaker 3: want to be, and then go out and achieve it,
Speaker 3: you know what I mean?
Speaker 1: You know it's I'm actually I just want to say,
Speaker 1: I'm so glad that you heard me say that and
Speaker 1: vehemently disagreed with it, because well, the I don't I'm
Speaker 1: not going to go on a long philosophical rant because
Speaker 1: I want to let you finish your story. But I
Speaker 1: think in the grand like there's you know what it is,
Speaker 1: there's like lenses through which you can say that there
Speaker 1: is no future self and that time is flat and
Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah, blah whatever, But we don't really
Speaker 1: live in that lens. We live in normal ass human life,
Speaker 1: and in normalized human life. I do agree there is
Speaker 1: a future self. I've come around to the fact that
Speaker 1: there is absolutely a future self. So I'm I'm with
Speaker 1: you on that.
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, yeah, because I don't know. I somehow like
Speaker 3: pulling out of this dark depression and going to the
Speaker 3: gym more and like being more social really led me
Speaker 3: to this like place in my life where I felt
Speaker 3: like I was ready to start like finding someone to like,
Speaker 3: you know, uh, find someone who loves me and I
Speaker 3: love that, you know, and you know, I It was
Speaker 3: really weird, like I went from like basically being like
Speaker 3: my quote unquote old self and then in like one
Speaker 3: week I did this. I went on I went to
Speaker 3: speed dating. Of all things, I went to a speed
Speaker 3: dating event, and at the same time, I also like
Speaker 3: decided to ask the number of this woman at like
Speaker 3: a tropical smoothie cafe who's pretty hot and seemed pretty cool,
Speaker 3: and like both of those like extreme. It's like, you know,
Speaker 3: relatively extreme things for me kind of like busted me
Speaker 3: out of my shell. I downloaded the apps and I
Speaker 3: was like like, I know the apps can be kind
Speaker 3: of shitty, but like what a time to be alive, right,
Speaker 3: Like you can just meet people. And I ended up
Speaker 3: like literally going on at least one date per week
Speaker 3: and usually two dates per week for about three months.
Speaker 3: And like no, and like I don't think I'm a
Speaker 3: particularly good looking guy, but like, you know, if you
Speaker 3: have a good profile and you like you know, you know,
Speaker 3: show other people you give a fuck, you know, shit can.
Speaker 1: Happen, you know, beautiful.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and like I ended up finding someone. It didn't
Speaker 3: work out with them for very long. It was like
Speaker 3: a pretty crappy you know, three months, but no, it
Speaker 3: wasn't crappy. It was my first relationship. I ended up
Speaker 3: losing my V card. But yeah, I mean it ended
Speaker 3: up being like the right experience I needed to go
Speaker 3: and find something more serious. But yeah, I mean I've
Speaker 3: been with this lady now for uh well, like you know,
Speaker 3: almost like a year and a half.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 3: I moved with her. Yeah, I moved in with her.
Speaker 3: And like, you know, just as a PSA for anybody,
Speaker 3: you know, if you're ever going through something like incredibly hard,
Speaker 3: like you know, lewising someone you're caring about or you
Speaker 3: know someone who is ill. You know, even if you
Speaker 3: feel like you're you got this gorilla on your back,
Speaker 3: you know you can always life can open up in
Speaker 3: ways that you don't expect, and things can change really
Speaker 3: really fast.
Speaker 1: I love a good I love a good life. That's amazing.
Speaker 1: That's wonderful. Yeah, man, that's so cool. And so you're
Speaker 1: you're thirty one now, right?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Okay cool? And so I mean, what do you think
Speaker 1: it is?
Speaker 5: Right?
Speaker 1: Was it like the was it like the therapy? Was it?
Speaker 1: The pills? Was it? The combinator? The gym? Was it?
Speaker 1: And an amalagam of a million different things? Like how
Speaker 1: do you how do you explain it?
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 3: The way I think about it is, you know, sometimes
Speaker 3: you need to hit kind of like a rock bottom
Speaker 3: in order to climb totally. And like I kind of
Speaker 3: felt that I had hit my own rock bottom and
Speaker 3: like just the suckiness of like losing my mom and
Speaker 3: uh and like you know that time alone after because
Speaker 3: like I had been living at home for two years
Speaker 3: and just like being alone again was just such a
Speaker 3: fucked up saying after like you know, uh, caring for
Speaker 3: my mother and like that rock bottom allowed me to climb,
Speaker 3: and like, honestly, I've been like kind of riding that
Speaker 3: high since and I, you know, like, sure, I still
Speaker 3: have some shitty days. Sure, I like have some dark
Speaker 3: moments here or there, but like, excuse me, you know,
Speaker 3: I still kind of feel like I'm riding that high.
Speaker 1: I I guess you know what's funny is back to
Speaker 1: the conversation about the future self is uh, and is
Speaker 1: like I used to also believe it, yeah again, that
Speaker 1: there was no future self, But I lately have been
Speaker 1: feeling the best I've been feeling in a long time.
Speaker 1: And I always kind of hear that I appreciate you
Speaker 1: saying that, and I always, I always fucking knew I
Speaker 1: would get there. I always knew I would get there.
Speaker 1: And then I would read all the fucking philosophical bullshit
Speaker 1: about how there is no there and there is no
Speaker 1: future self, and I know what it means. I get it,
Speaker 1: and who knows how long we're gonna, you know, be
Speaker 1: feeling like this, But yeah, man, no, I feel my
Speaker 1: life feels very different mentally than it has in the past.
Speaker 3: Uh.
Speaker 1: You know then it did like uh one, two, three,
Speaker 1: four years ago, and I am I am the future self.
Speaker 1: I'm the future self. By definition, it's true, and so
Speaker 1: I don't know. But I don't know. I haven't I
Speaker 1: haven't lived long enough to have asked me again when
Speaker 1: I'm eighty, if I'm lucky enough to make it to eighty,
Speaker 1: if I believe in a future self, or I believe
Speaker 1: in it there, because who knows. I mean, it's a grand,
Speaker 1: crazy roller coaster and you never know what the fuck
Speaker 1: each day could bring. So I don't know, but I'm
Speaker 1: happy for you that you feel good, and yeah, it's great,
Speaker 1: it's great. I don't know. The more the more I
Speaker 1: I live my life and go through ups and downs
Speaker 1: and talk to other people about it, the more I
Speaker 1: just I just don't know. But what do you? Yeah,
Speaker 1: you can ask me whatever you want.
Speaker 3: Uh, sorry, I'm totally changing gears.
Speaker 1: Go ahead.
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, uh, what is your favorite thing
Speaker 3: at Taco Bell right now?
Speaker 1: My favorite thing at Taco Bell right right now. I'm
Speaker 1: trying to avoid Taco Bell, But if I were there
Speaker 1: right now, I would probably just get like a like
Speaker 1: a beef a seven layer beef burrito thing. I think
Speaker 1: that's what it is. I don't know how many layers
Speaker 1: there are exactly, but get like a beef yeah, like
Speaker 1: a little beef burrito, maybe a couple of doritos locos tacos.
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, okay, yeah nice.
Speaker 2: Hm hmmmm.
Speaker 3: I'm glad you're feeling bout or you still feel like
Speaker 3: you're in that existential mode or have you.
Speaker 1: It comes in and out, but it's I'm I'm I'm
Speaker 1: out of it. I'm out of it and I feel
Speaker 1: better than you have. Hell yeah, part of it was
Speaker 1: uh yeah, uh taking pills and a lot of I
Speaker 1: don't I mean, it's a lot of stuff. It's really
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff. But m yeah, I mean it's
Speaker 1: it's been great. So we're just a couple. We're just
Speaker 1: a couple of a couple of dudes living their best
Speaker 1: livest or are you excited about the future? Do you
Speaker 1: have plans?
Speaker 2: You know?
Speaker 3: I I am excited about the future. I don't really
Speaker 3: have like plans per se. I mean, hopefully I can
Speaker 3: marry this lady. I mean I'd like to have a
Speaker 3: family one day. Yeah, and like I don't feel like
Speaker 3: particularly rushed to do that, Like I don't know, I'm
Speaker 3: thirty one, so like I don't want my wait forever.
Speaker 3: But like you know, maybe in the next three to
Speaker 3: five years sounds good to me. Cool, but yeah, I
Speaker 3: mean I am a lot more excited about the future.
Speaker 3: Like I don't know, like before I was able to
Speaker 3: like date and like talk to women and like still
Speaker 3: hadn't lost my v card. I kind of always have
Speaker 3: this like nagging thrab inside of me that like, oh god,
Speaker 3: that's just that's something I got to figure out. And like,
Speaker 3: I definitely feel like I've cracked that nut now and
Speaker 3: I just like, you know, I just feel like an
Speaker 3: eternal sense of like relief.
Speaker 1: About wonderful. Yeah, that's great, that's great, And I really
Speaker 1: genuinely I appreciate you sharing this because I know there's
Speaker 1: a lot of people who, you know, have had struggles
Speaker 1: in that department for what they believed to be an
Speaker 1: embarrassingly long amount of time. And uh, I think for
Speaker 1: someone to be able to hear your story and be like, well,
Speaker 1: you know, there's a light at the end of the
Speaker 1: tunnel for me, even if I've been feeling a certain
Speaker 1: way about myself for for my whole life, I mean,
Speaker 1: I think that's that's great. I love a story like that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And like, oh man, I hope I like I
Speaker 3: don't sound like one of those like fucking black pilled
Speaker 3: in cell people, because I'm.
Speaker 1: Like, you're the opposite of the black pills you think I'm.
Speaker 3: I mean, well, I was gonna say, like, yeah, I
Speaker 3: couldn't get any pussy, but like I knew, deep down
Speaker 3: it was my fault, you know what I mean. I
Speaker 3: knew there was like my doing and not like you know,
Speaker 3: you know the rest of the world around me. It
Speaker 3: was it was my own thing.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, well you're you're you're the opposite of black pill,
Speaker 1: because the black pill is the complete, I mean, the
Speaker 1: black pill's death. It's complete succession of any glimmer of
Speaker 1: hope that there is any agency left or any hope
Speaker 1: left for you in your life, and you're the opposite.
Speaker 1: You're continuing to push forward, like like if you like,
Speaker 1: if you're you know, whatever, if you're not good with
Speaker 1: talking to women or or even really anything about your
Speaker 1: life that you're unsatisfied with, but you're kind of like, uh,
Speaker 1: fighting making progress or even just fighting even just holding
Speaker 1: onto some hope that some things will are are are malleable,
Speaker 1: and that you're you're able to change and that a
Speaker 1: future self exists. Then yeah, you're out of the the
Speaker 1: black pilt. The black pill is again a complete what
Speaker 1: because I I don't know, I've been I've been on
Speaker 1: a I've been just thinking about this myself and like
Speaker 1: talking to friends about it of like the internal being
Speaker 1: a reflection of the external, and I don't it's not
Speaker 1: a complete theory, but I think there is a lot
Speaker 1: of truth to it, because like if you're on man,
Speaker 1: if you're on Reddit and you're like talking about how
Speaker 1: you suck and you're horrible, and you know you have
Speaker 1: this thing and that thing happened to you, and you
Speaker 1: have this thing about you or your life for the
Speaker 1: world that makes it so that you're never be happy,
Speaker 1: then it just becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: And even look, man, because that's the thing, right, even
Speaker 1: if you're like twenty nine and a virgin, if you
Speaker 1: have the fucking right because you're twenty when you're twenty
Speaker 1: nine and you're a virgin, and you have the thing
Speaker 1: to be like, hey, look, I believe if I put
Speaker 1: myself out on the dating apps and I put together
Speaker 1: a presentable digital version of myself and I learn how
Speaker 1: to talk to people, and I believe you know, look,
Speaker 1: it's I have twenty nine years of pretty bad data.
Speaker 1: You know, I have twenty nine years of data that's
Speaker 1: telling me. I have twenty nine years of data that
Speaker 1: I could easily interpret to mean that I suck and
Speaker 1: I'm never gonna find happiness. And that's the easy thing
Speaker 1: to do with that twenty nine years of data. But
Speaker 1: to take that twenty nine years of data and go, Okay,
Speaker 1: that's what that was, but doesn't have to be what
Speaker 1: is forever. And then because you have that internal belief,
Speaker 1: you take the external action of going on the fucking
Speaker 1: dates and putting yourself out there. You're like, you don't
Speaker 1: have you're right, because if you believe that nothing good
Speaker 1: would ever happen, you'd take no shots, you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? And so because you it's so because you
Speaker 1: believe you took the shots and things worked out you. So,
Speaker 1: I don't know if I believe necessarily that, like I mean, actually,
Speaker 1: you know what, fuck it, I kind of do believe that,
Speaker 1: like in like manifestation in a sense of like what
Speaker 1: you believe about like like you're I like, dude, I
Speaker 1: hate I hate saying it because it just sounds so
Speaker 1: like it when woo when it sound, dude, it sounds
Speaker 1: woo woo, but it's like so logical when you break
Speaker 1: it down, it sounds it sounds like a business success.
Speaker 1: Instagram picture of the sky. Your only limit is your imagination.
Speaker 1: But when you but when you but no, no, but
Speaker 1: but but when you think about it, it's it's right,
Speaker 1: it's logical. Your brain, how you think about the world
Speaker 1: affects how you make how you act within it, and
Speaker 1: then how you act within it is affects your external reality.
Speaker 1: So it makes logical sense. It's not just like some
Speaker 1: some wooo bullshit.
Speaker 3: And even if it feels like extremely unnatural at first
Speaker 3: to go and be that unnaturally positive and like believe
Speaker 3: these things like it comes with time, you know what
Speaker 3: I mean. And like I don't think that's necessarily being
Speaker 3: like not authentic or being like a douchebag or not no,
Speaker 3: not like it's it's very much like you know, having hope,
Speaker 3: having hope in the system, you know.
Speaker 1: Also especially with something like especially with something like dating
Speaker 1: right where it's like you only need one you know,
Speaker 1: like because look, right, if you're like five to two
Speaker 1: and you're like and if you're five, if you're on Reddit,
Speaker 1: and you're five to two and you're like, most women
Speaker 1: don't want to date a five to two guy. You're
Speaker 1: here's a you're right, but that does you're right, But
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean that you're never going to be able
Speaker 1: to find someone, you know what I mean, because you don't.
Speaker 1: You don't mean most women or most You don't need
Speaker 1: most people in any situation, in any situation in life.
Speaker 1: You don't need most people to do anything. And in
Speaker 1: this particular situation, you only need one of the eighty
Speaker 1: the inch of the infinite of them.
Speaker 3: You know, And like everybody's got something that isn't like
Speaker 3: traditionally attractive, you know what I mean, like everybody, and
Speaker 3: like at the end of the day, it's all about
Speaker 3: just like you know, taking care of yourself, making other
Speaker 3: people feel special, like being confident, and that's it.
Speaker 1: What's your name again, Otter?
Speaker 3: Otter? Yeah, I'm going by Otter. I go by sneaky
Speaker 3: otter sometimes sneaky Otter.
Speaker 1: Yeah, sneaky otter. Well thanks for sharing this with this
Speaker 1: sneaky outter. I'm very I love I like I said,
Speaker 1: I love. I love a good story of turning it around.
Speaker 1: That's my favorite thing. So I appreciate you sharing that is.
Speaker 1: Is there anything else you want to say to the
Speaker 1: people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 3: Uh pus stored in the Balls Rock and Roll later
Speaker 3: on Man Alive.
Speaker 1: I feel like I've had to I feel like I've
Speaker 1: talked about this bullshit on my podcast a lot. But like, yeah,
Speaker 1: I do. I do believe in the sense that the
Speaker 1: the internal is the reflection of the external. And that's
Speaker 1: not a again, it's not a rejection of empirical fact,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Because I like, how do
Speaker 1: I like if you like a lot like people being like, oh,
Speaker 1: people only care about looks, and it's like, yes, that's true,
Speaker 1: but it doesn't You're you're using how do I say this,
Speaker 1: You're looking at the data in the least favorable There's
Speaker 1: every every data set that that you can look at
Speaker 1: you can find a positive interpretation of it. I think
Speaker 1: maybe not every data set, maybe not one about uh,
Speaker 1: maybe not every data set. Okay, I'm gonna stop talking.
Speaker 1: That's I'm gonna stop talking. Hello. Hello, Hey, what's your name? Hello?
Speaker 6: Hello?
Speaker 1: Hi, Hi, what's your name? My name is Chris, Chris,
Speaker 1: what's up, Chris?
Speaker 6: Not much? I'm going to a basement show tonight.
Speaker 1: Ooh who you seeing?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 6: I don't know. I live in like kind of like
Speaker 6: butt fuck, not quite butt fuck nowhere Wisconsin. There's like
Speaker 6: forty thousand some or no, there's like seventy some seventy
Speaker 6: thousand people in my town. So like it's kind of
Speaker 6: just like bands from Wisconsin the area.
Speaker 1: That sounds awesome. I love that shit. How are you like?
Speaker 1: Do you play music?
Speaker 6: No? Not myself. I mean I did like band in
Speaker 6: high school.
Speaker 1: But do you No, I don't, but I love I
Speaker 1: like that kind of I love what do you? What
Speaker 1: is it like ten dollars to get in?
Speaker 6: It's like five bucks here?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 1: Are you gonna have fun? Is it like at someone's house? Yeah?
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's called uh maybe some people like recognize this.
Speaker 6: It's called Graham Jams. This is an oh Claire, Wisconsin.
Speaker 1: Oh Claire, Wisconsin. Graham Jams. That sounds fucking cool. How'd
Speaker 1: you is your first time going? Yeah?
Speaker 6: Yeah, I had a buddy. You told me about it,
Speaker 6: and I've always been busy with like work in school
Speaker 6: and stuff. Uh, but now now I got the time.
Speaker 1: Cool? Are you Are you going with your buddy? You're
Speaker 1: going alone?
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm going with that buddy. I'm gonna meet him there,
Speaker 6: and then I have somebody from work coming to join me,
Speaker 6: too cool.
Speaker 1: Are you still in school?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 6: Yeah, has that going going for a psychology?
Speaker 1: Oh that'll be fun, that'll be fun. Well are you
Speaker 1: trying to be Are you trying to be a therapist? Yeah?
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean I talked. I talked to you about this,
Speaker 6: like I don't know, maybe like a month ago.
Speaker 1: Actually, oh you are we called? You talked to me already.
Speaker 6: Yeah. Yeah, you just give me if you want, well.
Speaker 1: Hold on, hold on, all right, hold on. You have
Speaker 1: some well you're.
Speaker 6: You're like, oh I talk give me the next guy.
Speaker 1: You have some confidence in yourself. Chris, goddamn, what did
Speaker 1: we talk about? When did we talk?
Speaker 3: Uh?
Speaker 6: I don't remember. I like, well, I don't remember much
Speaker 6: of it. I remember, like I remember like asking you.
Speaker 6: I was like, I was like, when was the last
Speaker 6: time you had sex? And You're like, when was the
Speaker 6: last time you had sex?
Speaker 1: Collar?
Speaker 6: That's like that's the one thing I remember.
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, why'd you call in again?
Speaker 2: Uh?
Speaker 6: I just thought you were doing it, you know.
Speaker 1: Okay, what do you want to do with the what
Speaker 1: do you want to do with the time we have
Speaker 1: left on this phone call.
Speaker 6: Fuck, I don't know, man, I just wanted to tell
Speaker 6: you about that. I thought you'd think it was cool.
Speaker 1: It was like and and and Chris. Huh, you were right.
Speaker 1: I do think it's cool. I think it's very cool.
Speaker 1: I like that ship.
Speaker 6: Yeah, man, yeah, I had Uh. I just did ah
Speaker 6: fucking two week army training. Dude, I shot like machine
Speaker 6: guns and ship.
Speaker 1: Are you going into the army?
Speaker 6: I already am in the army? I do like National
Speaker 6: Guard like a weekend a month's type shit.
Speaker 1: Wow, yeah, man, damn do you think you're gonna have yeah?
Speaker 3: Right?
Speaker 1: Do you think you're gonna have.
Speaker 6: To go to nup the machine gun on top of
Speaker 6: the truck, drive that shit around, shoot ship, you know,
Speaker 6: like shoot buildings, shoot fucking targets, blow shit up.
Speaker 1: Where did they do this? This must be in like
Speaker 1: a remote area.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 6: So I'm not gonna name like the installation that I
Speaker 6: do it on, but ninety percent of like army and
Speaker 6: like Air Force installations and forts camps whatever, they have
Speaker 6: like huge spaces of like woods and like shooting ranges
Speaker 6: and stuff to do that shit cool?
Speaker 1: What did you did it make? You feel powerful to
Speaker 1: shoot a machine gun from the top of a truck.
Speaker 6: Okay, the dog shit part of the army, right, Like
Speaker 6: most people go in there, like, dude, shooting machine guns
Speaker 6: is gonna be so fucking fun. But the army like
Speaker 6: sucks all the enjoyment out of it. How Like, Okay,
Speaker 6: So there's so many people that have to go right,
Speaker 6: and it's always planned. The army plans nothing well at all,
Speaker 6: dog like. So you're sitting there just waiting all fucking
Speaker 6: day to shoot, and by the time you get out there,
Speaker 6: it's so late, you're so tired, it's so fucking hot
Speaker 6: at you know, and there's so much like shit you
Speaker 6: gotta do for to be like safe, like compared to
Speaker 6: like if I were to just like shoot a machine
Speaker 6: gun like you know, in the in the woods like
Speaker 6: in the country or some shit, it's so much worse.
Speaker 6: Plus you have to well it's not even like you're
Speaker 6: just shooting it to like practice. It's like you have
Speaker 6: to shoot this many targets this fast. It fucking sucks. Man.
Speaker 1: Huh, Well, I don't you know, Chris, honestly, to give
Speaker 1: you a counterpoint, I don't think shooting a gun should
Speaker 1: be that fun.
Speaker 6: What do you mean, man, you you don't want to like, well,
Speaker 6: you're gonna be drafted to go to Iran here in
Speaker 6: like a week.
Speaker 1: They're not gonna hold on, hold, they're not gonna draft me.
Speaker 1: They're not gonna. I promise you, I will dodge that draft.
Speaker 1: I promise you.
Speaker 6: You could just say you're you can just say you're tran.
Speaker 6: It's pretty good.
Speaker 1: Oh I don't even have to do that. I'll just
Speaker 1: show them my blood work and they'll be like, you
Speaker 1: eat too much cotton candy for us to send you,
Speaker 1: uh to the Middle East.
Speaker 6: No, man, trust me. They have like cut down the
Speaker 6: restrictions on like uh weight and health stuff so much
Speaker 6: that they don't give a fuck about that. Really you
Speaker 6: have to be like very unhealthy, like extraordinarily.
Speaker 1: But I don't know, I feel like they're looking for
Speaker 1: like young young boys. I'm like they're looking for like
Speaker 1: eighteen year olds.
Speaker 6: I think it's up to like thirty. I think the
Speaker 6: draft goes up to like fucking thirty or some shit.
Speaker 1: Do you think we're gonna do that? You think we're
Speaker 1: gonna do it like we're gonna do like a whole draft.
Speaker 6: No, No, I don't even think there's going to be
Speaker 6: like a war, but like, you know, next Therapy Get
Speaker 6: Go podcast is gonna be hosted from a POW camp
Speaker 6: and outside of tront.
Speaker 1: That would be crazy if that's if I transitioned into
Speaker 1: covering wars.
Speaker 6: No, you would be you would be a prisoner and
Speaker 6: said POW camp. You know, oh shit, like you know
Speaker 6: you're how you like went to Mexico and shit, you
Speaker 6: like interview people on the streets, like interview other prisoners
Speaker 6: of war.
Speaker 1: Being a gecko, being a gecko at a POW camp. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you know what's funny is.
Speaker 6: Uh geto during like World War two or something.
Speaker 1: I live in such childlike I live in such childlike
Speaker 1: naivete because when I think of POW I think of
Speaker 1: the block from Mario more so than a prisoner of
Speaker 1: war camp.
Speaker 6: Yeah. Yeah, no, that's that's totally fair. I often think
Speaker 6: in fucking video game and TikTok terminology, you can't say
Speaker 6: shit to me without me making a TikTok reference.
Speaker 1: You know, I know I said earlier that shooting a
Speaker 1: gun shouldn't be fun, but the most fun video games
Speaker 1: on the planet are about killing people with guns, and
Speaker 1: they're extremely fun. So by doing it in But you know,
Speaker 1: killing people with guns in video games is really fun.
Speaker 1: By killing people with guns in real life sounds horrific.
Speaker 1: I don't think that should be fun at all.
Speaker 6: I mean, there's there's definitely people who who enjoy it.
Speaker 6: I mean, not that many. I don't think. I don't
Speaker 6: think many many people in the military enjoy enjoy killing.
Speaker 1: There's got to be a few, there's definitely a few.
Speaker 6: But like Tom.
Speaker 1: Enjoyed, do you want you do you have a lust
Speaker 1: for blood? Chris?
Speaker 6: No, man, I do this ship for the bennies.
Speaker 1: The benefits Are you gonna punch someone in the face
Speaker 1: in the mosh pit? Tonight?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 6: I'm I'm weak and frail and twinkish. I have a
Speaker 6: girlish figure, so real, skinny guy.
Speaker 1: You know. I feel like, actually, this was a good
Speaker 1: phone call. Yeah yeah, I think like, no, no, this
Speaker 1: was perfect. This was a perfect way to end this.
Speaker 6: Well, talking about like the Get Go Pow camp and
Speaker 6: like killing people.
Speaker 1: No, just you know, don't we don't have to think
Speaker 1: about it too much. I think we can just I
Speaker 1: just intuitively believe this was a good way to end
Speaker 1: the podcast today.
Speaker 6: Yeah. Yeah, oh shit, I'm the I'm.
Speaker 1: The last one, man, You're the last one. Wow.
Speaker 6: I saw that it was like an hour Like I
Speaker 6: always get these like notifications from your Instagram story. That's
Speaker 6: how I find out. I saw it was like this
Speaker 6: is an hour ago. I was like, yeah, I'm not
Speaker 6: I'm not getting into.
Speaker 1: This, Chris, What's up? Is there anything else you want
Speaker 1: to say to the people of the computer before we go?
Speaker 6: And whatever?
Speaker 2: You do?
Speaker 6: Go out and find shit to do, like even me,
Speaker 6: Like I work and go to school all the fucking time.
Speaker 6: But I promised you there's like shit to do somewhere something.
Speaker 6: Unless you live in like the middle of nowhere, I
Speaker 6: think are fucked.
Speaker 1: But like, don't you live hold on, wait, don't you
Speaker 1: live in the middle of nowhere? Isn't that what you
Speaker 1: were just saying?
Speaker 6: Okay, compared to like I don't know, like big cities
Speaker 6: like Minneapolis, New York, Philly, shit like that. Oh Claire
Speaker 6: is some some people in the in those bigger cities
Speaker 6: think it's pretty small.
Speaker 1: But I like the sentiment though, I like, I think
Speaker 1: it's good to do things.
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah not because otherwise, like I just fucking hate
Speaker 6: everything and I'm just like a robot. I just like
Speaker 6: go make money and then spend money on school. You
Speaker 6: know you gotta spend money on like other ships, like
Speaker 6: fucking video games and basement shows.
Speaker 1: I like your ethos, Chris. I hope you have a
Speaker 1: fun time at this basement show. I don't know why
Speaker 1: I said it that, like Mike Tyson just now. I
Speaker 1: think it's because I almost burned. Okay, okay, I think
Speaker 1: I think I think this was good. I hope you
Speaker 1: enjoy this basement show. And again you were right. I
Speaker 1: do think it's cool. I think it's very cool. I
Speaker 1: like doing shit. I like hearing about cheap, cool shit
Speaker 1: existing in places outside of major cities. And I am
Speaker 1: very happy that you relaid this information not only to me,
Speaker 1: but to the listeners.
Speaker 6: I know, man, Yeah, if you guys can, can fucking
Speaker 6: make it to this city in one hour and figure
Speaker 6: out'll it'll.
Speaker 1: This will be by the time I post this, it'll
Speaker 1: be the show. Beal.
Speaker 6: Now there's the guys listening to the to the live
Speaker 6: stream and ship. Oh sure, I guarantee none of them
Speaker 6: even live in Wisconsin. But you know you don't know that.
Speaker 1: You don't know anything, Chris. You cannot assume a single
Speaker 1: thing about anything that you even even the things you
Speaker 1: know you must be skeptical of.
Speaker 6: No, I'm you know, people who are stupid and gullible
Speaker 6: are like pretty happy if you notice that.
Speaker 1: So I have noticed that.
Speaker 6: I'm trying to live a little bit like that, you know,
Speaker 6: and I'm pretty happy. So there you go.
Speaker 1: Okay, in that case, believe everything you hear, be skeptical
Speaker 1: of nothing, and and you'll be happier. That is a
Speaker 1: little true. That is a little true. I'll see you
Speaker 1: around the universe. Chris, thank you for calling.
Speaker 6: Yeah, man, I have a good night.
Speaker 1: You too. I was lovely. Thank you very much everyone
Speaker 1: for listening to the Therapy Gecko podcast today. Good calls today. Uh,
Speaker 1: talking to Otter was cool, talking to Erica was cool.
Speaker 1: Talking to Chris was cool. Good calls today. Good episode
Speaker 1: of the pod. Good pod. I love a good pod.
Speaker 1: I love I love when I when I take off
Speaker 1: the geck go ahead and I'm like, this was a
Speaker 1: good one. I liked that one. Today is one of
Speaker 1: those days. Stay beautiful and see you see you next time.
Speaker 1: Ghek bless it goes on the line.
Speaker 3: Thank you.
Speaker 1: The phone calls every night. Never big Get goes to
Speaker 1: on his right, you're just teaching news housing over your life.
Speaker 1: But he's not really an expert.