WEBVTT - “I USED TO BE TROUBLE”

0:00:00.040 --> 0:00:00.640
<v Speaker 1>What's your name?

0:00:00.840 --> 0:00:02.960
<v Speaker 2>The name's Erica, Erica.

0:00:03.040 --> 0:00:05.040
<v Speaker 1>What's up, Erica? How's life?

0:00:05.640 --> 0:00:11.160
<v Speaker 2>Life's pretty good. I'm actively fucking up my eyebrows right now.

0:00:11.640 --> 0:00:13.960
<v Speaker 1>You're actively fucking up your eyebrows right now.

0:00:14.800 --> 0:00:19.800
<v Speaker 2>Yes, I started plucking them and I just plucked a

0:00:19.800 --> 0:00:20.439
<v Speaker 2>little too much.

0:00:21.920 --> 0:00:23.840
<v Speaker 1>Well, Stephanie, what's what's going on?

0:00:23.880 --> 0:00:24.040
<v Speaker 3>Man?

0:00:24.079 --> 0:00:27.840
<v Speaker 1>Would you wanna talk about today? Eric? Oh? Crap? The

0:00:27.880 --> 0:00:30.440
<v Speaker 1>other person that I talk to is Stephanie, So I

0:00:31.320 --> 0:00:34.480
<v Speaker 1>what's I'm gonna call everyone? Just call her because I don't.

0:00:34.560 --> 0:00:39.960
<v Speaker 1>I can't. It's been established that I can't. Uh, I

0:00:40.000 --> 0:00:44.000
<v Speaker 1>can't do names, which is fine. It's okay everyone. Everyone

0:00:44.040 --> 0:00:48.160
<v Speaker 1>should be anonymous on this thing. So I'm gonna call you. Caller,

0:00:48.440 --> 0:00:51.680
<v Speaker 1>call her? What's up? What do you want to talk about?

0:00:52.320 --> 0:00:56.840
<v Speaker 2>I wanted to talk about Bakersfield, California.

0:00:58.680 --> 0:01:01.840
<v Speaker 1>I think I went to baker Field, California a couple

0:01:01.800 --> 0:01:04.680
<v Speaker 1>of years ago on like a camping trip or some shit.

0:01:06.240 --> 0:01:08.120
<v Speaker 2>Really have we ever seen? Like I think it's a

0:01:08.160 --> 0:01:11.039
<v Speaker 2>Netflix show about Bakersfield, and it's like a bunch of

0:01:11.080 --> 0:01:13.240
<v Speaker 2>like killbillies and like rich oil people.

0:01:14.360 --> 0:01:18.840
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I'm familiar with, Like, I'm vaguely familiar with the culture.

0:01:18.920 --> 0:01:19.559
<v Speaker 1>Tell me more.

0:01:20.920 --> 0:01:24.399
<v Speaker 2>That was like to a tea. So it's so crazy.

0:01:24.440 --> 0:01:27.000
<v Speaker 2>There's like so many different parts of town that are

0:01:27.040 --> 0:01:31.520
<v Speaker 2>so different, and the part of town where I grew up,

0:01:32.400 --> 0:01:35.240
<v Speaker 2>I thought this stuff was normal. So like my high school,

0:01:35.640 --> 0:01:39.319
<v Speaker 2>everything was gated and you had to call security to

0:01:39.560 --> 0:01:43.000
<v Speaker 2>come to your classroom to take you to the bathroom

0:01:43.520 --> 0:01:49.440
<v Speaker 2>because people were studying trash cans on fire or ditching

0:01:49.880 --> 0:01:55.200
<v Speaker 2>or fighting or having sex somewhere on campus. And we

0:01:55.200 --> 0:01:59.880
<v Speaker 2>weren't allowed to wear certain colored shirts because of gang affiliation.

0:02:00.320 --> 0:02:03.559
<v Speaker 2>You couldn't wear like plain white teas or playing red

0:02:03.560 --> 0:02:08.200
<v Speaker 2>teas and stuff like that, and I thought that was

0:02:08.280 --> 0:02:08.959
<v Speaker 2>like normal.

0:02:12.200 --> 0:02:14.360
<v Speaker 1>Were there a lot of gangs in Baker's Field?

0:02:15.280 --> 0:02:15.600
<v Speaker 2>Yes?

0:02:17.520 --> 0:02:20.880
<v Speaker 1>What were Were you ever in a gang?

0:02:22.600 --> 0:02:26.400
<v Speaker 2>No? I wasn't, but my older sister always took me

0:02:26.520 --> 0:02:31.320
<v Speaker 2>to like house parties and they were all gang affiliated.

0:02:31.800 --> 0:02:35.320
<v Speaker 2>And actually my dad's side of the family, I wasn't

0:02:35.360 --> 0:02:37.120
<v Speaker 2>really like in touch with them, but they were all

0:02:37.120 --> 0:02:38.239
<v Speaker 2>gang affiliated too.

0:02:39.480 --> 0:02:45.240
<v Speaker 1>M Okay, what else was going on in Bakersfield at

0:02:45.240 --> 0:02:45.600
<v Speaker 1>the time.

0:02:47.680 --> 0:02:51.560
<v Speaker 2>Shit. I have an uncle who has like seventeen kids

0:02:51.639 --> 0:02:54.840
<v Speaker 2>from like different baby mamas, and he was always in

0:02:54.840 --> 0:02:59.520
<v Speaker 2>and out of prison and yeah, Like all of my

0:02:59.560 --> 0:03:02.720
<v Speaker 2>family was like always in and out of prison, like

0:03:02.760 --> 0:03:08.080
<v Speaker 2>my grandma's getting DUIs, fighting my uncle's wife in the

0:03:08.080 --> 0:03:11.360
<v Speaker 2>front yard, ghetto stuff like that. But like that was

0:03:11.440 --> 0:03:15.760
<v Speaker 2>my normal. So once I got away from Baker's Toe it,

0:03:15.840 --> 0:03:19.040
<v Speaker 2>I was like, holy shit, that place is wild.

0:03:20.200 --> 0:03:21.919
<v Speaker 1>Where did you get away from Bakersfield to.

0:03:21.880 --> 0:03:24.160
<v Speaker 2>Go the military?

0:03:25.040 --> 0:03:26.200
<v Speaker 1>Are you? Is that where you are now?

0:03:27.200 --> 0:03:30.640
<v Speaker 2>No? I was in the military for six years. I

0:03:30.680 --> 0:03:36.000
<v Speaker 2>got medically discharged, and then me and my husband moved

0:03:36.320 --> 0:03:38.839
<v Speaker 2>to a different part of California.

0:03:41.400 --> 0:03:44.960
<v Speaker 1>And what was it like? What was it like being

0:03:44.960 --> 0:03:46.600
<v Speaker 1>in the military for six years?

0:03:47.480 --> 0:03:53.000
<v Speaker 2>I had a blast. I was a mechanic. I was

0:03:53.040 --> 0:03:58.000
<v Speaker 2>a helicopter mechanic. And I before that, I was like

0:03:58.080 --> 0:04:03.640
<v Speaker 2>a bougie bitch, like wearing dresses and heels and nails

0:04:03.680 --> 0:04:07.000
<v Speaker 2>done all the time, didn't know what a socket wrench was.

0:04:07.600 --> 0:04:12.040
<v Speaker 2>And then I became like a grease monkey and became

0:04:12.080 --> 0:04:14.880
<v Speaker 2>a mechanic and was traveling the world. I went on

0:04:14.920 --> 0:04:18.760
<v Speaker 2>like three different aircraft carriers and spent over like three

0:04:18.839 --> 0:04:24.440
<v Speaker 2>hundred and sixty days to see and I had a blast.

0:04:25.160 --> 0:04:26.520
<v Speaker 1>What was the medical discharge?

0:04:27.800 --> 0:04:32.479
<v Speaker 2>Oh, I have this like brain condition where the veins

0:04:32.480 --> 0:04:35.360
<v Speaker 2>at the bottom of my brain are like narrow, and

0:04:35.720 --> 0:04:39.680
<v Speaker 2>so it builds pressure in my brain and it gave

0:04:39.720 --> 0:04:43.479
<v Speaker 2>me like migraines and was causing like issues with my eyes.

0:04:45.400 --> 0:04:48.080
<v Speaker 1>WHOA did that develop while you were in the military?

0:04:49.040 --> 0:04:49.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

0:04:50.880 --> 0:04:54.760
<v Speaker 1>WHOA? What happens when you get medically discharged from the military?

0:04:54.800 --> 0:04:57.320
<v Speaker 1>Do they like, do you get shit? Or are they

0:04:57.360 --> 0:04:58.279
<v Speaker 1>just like you gotta go?

0:05:00.800 --> 0:05:02.920
<v Speaker 2>There's like a whole process you have to go through,

0:05:02.920 --> 0:05:06.279
<v Speaker 2>like what's called a medboard, and then I think mine

0:05:06.320 --> 0:05:10.480
<v Speaker 2>took like ten months, I think, and you have lawyers

0:05:11.040 --> 0:05:14.520
<v Speaker 2>and a lot of paperwork, a lot of doctor's appointments,

0:05:15.080 --> 0:05:19.200
<v Speaker 2>and then it gets sent to like an office where

0:05:19.440 --> 0:05:25.520
<v Speaker 2>one person has to confirm if you're getting discharged or not.

0:05:26.240 --> 0:05:29.359
<v Speaker 2>And they have to do all of the military so

0:05:29.480 --> 0:05:33.400
<v Speaker 2>like Navy, air Force, all of them. And so that's

0:05:33.400 --> 0:05:34.600
<v Speaker 2>why it takes so long.

0:05:38.680 --> 0:05:41.359
<v Speaker 1>What did you do right when you were medically discharged?

0:05:44.279 --> 0:05:48.960
<v Speaker 2>I became an office manager for a pool construction company.

0:05:49.720 --> 0:05:50.359
<v Speaker 1>And how was that?

0:05:51.800 --> 0:05:55.680
<v Speaker 2>It was interesting. It was a startup company and the

0:05:55.760 --> 0:06:02.880
<v Speaker 2>owners were not very good with money, and the clientele

0:06:03.240 --> 0:06:09.599
<v Speaker 2>was high, like high payers. But the company I worked

0:06:09.600 --> 0:06:13.560
<v Speaker 2>for was low balling everything and fucked everything up and

0:06:13.720 --> 0:06:18.200
<v Speaker 2>was constantly getting sued, and so they eventually made me

0:06:18.279 --> 0:06:24.000
<v Speaker 2>the bookkeeper because they had to pretty much get rid

0:06:24.000 --> 0:06:26.479
<v Speaker 2>of everybody because they couldn't afford anything. And I ended

0:06:26.520 --> 0:06:30.240
<v Speaker 2>up with like five different people's job, and I was

0:06:30.240 --> 0:06:32.800
<v Speaker 2>the bookkeeper, so I got to see where the big

0:06:32.839 --> 0:06:36.839
<v Speaker 2>account went, like negative four hundred dollars. And so when

0:06:36.839 --> 0:06:38.839
<v Speaker 2>they said they wanted to have a meeting with me,

0:06:39.200 --> 0:06:42.000
<v Speaker 2>I already knew that I lost my job because I

0:06:42.040 --> 0:06:48.520
<v Speaker 2>watched the money disappear. It was crazy because the owner

0:06:48.600 --> 0:06:53.120
<v Speaker 2>of the company, he would like show up different times

0:06:53.200 --> 0:06:56.600
<v Speaker 2>and like a range Rover and then a Jaguar, and

0:06:56.800 --> 0:07:01.200
<v Speaker 2>then he took all of us, or he didn't take.

0:07:01.279 --> 0:07:03.800
<v Speaker 2>Well I didn't go, but he invited the whole company

0:07:04.040 --> 0:07:10.400
<v Speaker 2>for midget wrestling in Norco for some reason and paid

0:07:10.400 --> 0:07:12.400
<v Speaker 2>for like VIP tickets.

0:07:13.680 --> 0:07:14.320
<v Speaker 1>You didn't go.

0:07:15.600 --> 0:07:18.320
<v Speaker 2>So it was like on a Thursday night and like

0:07:18.400 --> 0:07:21.360
<v Speaker 2>I'm married, and like I feel old now, so like

0:07:21.480 --> 0:07:23.560
<v Speaker 2>I didn't want to be at a bar watching midget

0:07:23.720 --> 0:07:25.840
<v Speaker 2>do that. Like that was from her early twenties.

0:07:26.960 --> 0:07:28.400
<v Speaker 1>How old are you now? If you don't mind me.

0:07:28.360 --> 0:07:32.280
<v Speaker 2>Asking, I turned twenty nine next week.

0:07:33.160 --> 0:07:34.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well you're not old.

0:07:35.520 --> 0:07:39.000
<v Speaker 2>I feel old, like after the military, Like, I feel

0:07:39.000 --> 0:07:43.720
<v Speaker 2>like I got my ass beat and everything hurts.

0:07:44.440 --> 0:07:47.520
<v Speaker 1>Do you So, what are you doing now? Are you

0:07:47.600 --> 0:07:49.720
<v Speaker 1>still working at that pool company?

0:07:51.240 --> 0:07:54.360
<v Speaker 2>No? So they went belly up, and then I was

0:07:54.440 --> 0:08:00.240
<v Speaker 2>unemployed and collecting the unemployment for a bit, and then

0:08:00.880 --> 0:08:05.520
<v Speaker 2>I started to use my VA benefits to go to school.

0:08:05.560 --> 0:08:09.239
<v Speaker 2>So I'm pursuing my bachelor's in health science.

0:08:10.760 --> 0:08:13.520
<v Speaker 1>Okay, well, what's the ultimate goal with that, like, become

0:08:13.600 --> 0:08:15.440
<v Speaker 1>like some kind of medical person thing.

0:08:16.520 --> 0:08:19.760
<v Speaker 2>Mmm, you would think so, but no, So I don't

0:08:19.800 --> 0:08:23.280
<v Speaker 2>really feel like working again. I want to pursue the

0:08:23.600 --> 0:08:28.040
<v Speaker 2>career being a stay at home mom after and me

0:08:28.080 --> 0:08:30.600
<v Speaker 2>and my husband made a deal that I can be

0:08:30.640 --> 0:08:34.040
<v Speaker 2>a stay at home mom as long as I'm educated beforehand,

0:08:34.600 --> 0:08:39.000
<v Speaker 2>so that when I am actively a mother, I do

0:08:39.120 --> 0:08:42.440
<v Speaker 2>have the ability to have a job if I wanted one.

0:08:43.520 --> 0:08:45.160
<v Speaker 1>So you made a deal with your husband that he

0:08:45.200 --> 0:08:47.800
<v Speaker 1>would financially support you being a stay at home mom

0:08:47.840 --> 0:08:50.760
<v Speaker 1>as long as you went to school and.

0:08:50.760 --> 0:08:53.120
<v Speaker 2>Got my degree before we started having kids.

0:08:53.200 --> 0:08:54.679
<v Speaker 1>Yes, how long is it going to take for you

0:08:54.760 --> 0:08:55.480
<v Speaker 1>to get your degree?

0:08:56.800 --> 0:09:00.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm almost done, actually in it. We're both in school

0:09:00.679 --> 0:09:03.040
<v Speaker 2>right now. Is we're both working on our bachelor's degree,

0:09:03.120 --> 0:09:05.800
<v Speaker 2>so that's a cool part of the deal. We're doing

0:09:05.840 --> 0:09:06.320
<v Speaker 2>it together.

0:09:07.320 --> 0:09:08.320
<v Speaker 1>The are you going to same school?

0:09:09.360 --> 0:09:09.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

0:09:10.120 --> 0:09:11.200
<v Speaker 1>Oh cool, same degree.

0:09:12.760 --> 0:09:14.920
<v Speaker 2>No, he's going for it.

0:09:17.920 --> 0:09:20.680
<v Speaker 1>Are you like taking out like student loans and shiit?

0:09:21.559 --> 0:09:21.880
<v Speaker 4>No this.

0:09:22.160 --> 0:09:25.960
<v Speaker 2>He's in the military too, So we're both veterans using

0:09:26.080 --> 0:09:29.240
<v Speaker 2>our VA benefits to go to school and we get

0:09:29.240 --> 0:09:33.240
<v Speaker 2>a housing allowance and so that pays for our living

0:09:33.320 --> 0:09:35.640
<v Speaker 2>while we both go to school full time.

0:09:36.840 --> 0:09:39.760
<v Speaker 1>Oh kick ass. That's awesome. So are you so you

0:09:39.840 --> 0:09:41.320
<v Speaker 1>just want to you just want to get a degree

0:09:41.360 --> 0:09:43.800
<v Speaker 1>just to have it, just to say that you can

0:09:43.960 --> 0:09:47.960
<v Speaker 1>get a job if you wanted to. Yeah, very cool.

0:09:49.760 --> 0:09:52.120
<v Speaker 1>Was that always your goal, like to be a stay

0:09:52.120 --> 0:09:52.600
<v Speaker 1>at home mom?

0:09:53.840 --> 0:09:57.440
<v Speaker 2>Fuck no. Before I met my husband, I was never

0:09:57.480 --> 0:10:03.800
<v Speaker 2>getting married. I was never having children. But he's so amazing.

0:10:03.920 --> 0:10:07.120
<v Speaker 2>I completely changed me and my mind, and now I

0:10:07.200 --> 0:10:09.839
<v Speaker 2>want to be a stay at home mom doing like

0:10:09.880 --> 0:10:11.360
<v Speaker 2>a homeschool thing or something.

0:10:12.520 --> 0:10:15.360
<v Speaker 1>Wait, tell me more. That's kind of fascinating. Why do

0:10:15.360 --> 0:10:18.720
<v Speaker 1>you think you flipped, dude?

0:10:18.760 --> 0:10:21.840
<v Speaker 2>I swear like the first time I like hung out

0:10:21.840 --> 0:10:26.960
<v Speaker 2>with him, there was like fireworks and it felt like

0:10:26.960 --> 0:10:29.440
<v Speaker 2>a movie. I swear it's like a movie. And I

0:10:29.640 --> 0:10:31.520
<v Speaker 2>tell him all the time. I was like, what voodoo

0:10:31.600 --> 0:10:33.640
<v Speaker 2>did you do to me? Because I used to be

0:10:33.679 --> 0:10:37.960
<v Speaker 2>a thug, but now I'm all soft and sensitive, Like

0:10:38.360 --> 0:10:40.080
<v Speaker 2>I want to take care of your children.

0:10:42.559 --> 0:10:43.800
<v Speaker 1>You used to be a thug.

0:10:45.679 --> 0:10:49.400
<v Speaker 2>I just told you from I'm from Bakersfield, Like it's build.

0:10:49.280 --> 0:10:54.360
<v Speaker 1>Worldwist what what do you I mean if you want

0:10:54.400 --> 0:10:55.680
<v Speaker 1>to elaborate.

0:10:55.160 --> 0:11:00.880
<v Speaker 5>Like what sure like into Like I was like eight

0:11:00.960 --> 0:11:04.840
<v Speaker 5>years old and in the car with a parent to

0:11:05.200 --> 0:11:08.520
<v Speaker 5>help sober up my uncle and cover.

0:11:08.440 --> 0:11:16.120
<v Speaker 2>Up his voice or not his voices, cover up his uh,

0:11:16.160 --> 0:11:20.599
<v Speaker 2>his breath of alcohol with coffee because he just do you.

0:11:20.760 --> 0:11:25.240
<v Speaker 2>I crashed into the side of a house. My aunt,

0:11:25.440 --> 0:11:28.920
<v Speaker 2>who was my babysitter for a few years, was a murderer.

0:11:30.240 --> 0:11:34.880
<v Speaker 2>She murdered somebody, like maybe like a couple of years after,

0:11:35.160 --> 0:11:40.400
<v Speaker 2>like she stopped babysitting me, and then.

0:11:40.000 --> 0:11:42.240
<v Speaker 1>What else, Well wait a minute, wait minute, but yeah,

0:11:42.240 --> 0:11:44.280
<v Speaker 1>but those are all stories about your family. I'm talking

0:11:44.280 --> 0:11:44.640
<v Speaker 1>about you.

0:11:44.720 --> 0:11:48.760
<v Speaker 2>But I'm actively in those things. I'm the person handing

0:11:48.800 --> 0:11:52.640
<v Speaker 2>the drunk guy the coffee. Like I'm a little kid

0:11:53.600 --> 0:11:55.679
<v Speaker 2>actively doing these things.

0:11:56.160 --> 0:11:58.640
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. Yeah, okay, but I don't know if

0:12:00.080 --> 0:12:02.200
<v Speaker 1>I mean yeah, but okay, if you're hold on, hold

0:12:02.240 --> 0:12:07.000
<v Speaker 1>on being eight years old and helping your family and

0:12:07.240 --> 0:12:11.160
<v Speaker 1>kind of blindly being with your family while they do

0:12:13.559 --> 0:12:17.440
<v Speaker 1>quote unquote thug things, well I don't think it makes

0:12:17.480 --> 0:12:18.360
<v Speaker 1>you a thug.

0:12:19.280 --> 0:12:22.400
<v Speaker 2>Well that in cases teaches me as a young kid

0:12:22.440 --> 0:12:27.120
<v Speaker 2>that these things are okay. I never learned until recently

0:12:27.720 --> 0:12:33.680
<v Speaker 2>that these things were not okay. And so in my

0:12:33.880 --> 0:12:36.800
<v Speaker 2>early twenties I have done, like I don't want to

0:12:36.800 --> 0:12:39.280
<v Speaker 2>go in detail my stuff, but because of the stuff

0:12:39.320 --> 0:12:41.600
<v Speaker 2>I was exposed to as a young child, I did

0:12:41.640 --> 0:12:44.960
<v Speaker 2>some hood rat shit in my early twenties speaking it

0:12:45.000 --> 0:12:49.040
<v Speaker 2>was okay. And now that I'm in my last year

0:12:49.080 --> 0:12:53.880
<v Speaker 2>of my twenties, I'm like, I'm surprised I'm alive, and

0:12:54.480 --> 0:12:58.120
<v Speaker 2>I'm surprised I've never been arrested and everything turned out okay.

0:13:00.200 --> 0:13:03.320
<v Speaker 1>Hmmm, do you still keep in good contact with your parents?

0:13:05.000 --> 0:13:05.240
<v Speaker 2>No?

0:13:06.600 --> 0:13:07.959
<v Speaker 1>Is it like totally nothing?

0:13:09.520 --> 0:13:16.480
<v Speaker 2>My dad's totally nothing. And then my mom, that's a

0:13:16.520 --> 0:13:19.280
<v Speaker 2>weird situation with her because she didn't know she was

0:13:19.320 --> 0:13:21.840
<v Speaker 2>a horrible mother. And then I started going to therapy and

0:13:21.880 --> 0:13:24.200
<v Speaker 2>I was like, Yo, did you know this this and

0:13:24.280 --> 0:13:26.960
<v Speaker 2>this and this was like fucked up, and she was like, oh,

0:13:26.960 --> 0:13:29.520
<v Speaker 2>I had no idea, and now she's like weird about it.

0:13:30.120 --> 0:13:31.080
<v Speaker 2>I don't want to talk.

0:13:32.960 --> 0:13:35.880
<v Speaker 1>When did you stop talking to your parents?

0:13:36.200 --> 0:13:38.720
<v Speaker 2>Well, my dad called me randomly. Remember I was talking

0:13:38.760 --> 0:13:41.840
<v Speaker 2>about getting discharged for that brain thing. Yes, so I

0:13:41.920 --> 0:13:44.600
<v Speaker 2>was in the process of that and my dad randomly

0:13:44.720 --> 0:13:46.440
<v Speaker 2>called me and was like, I never want to speak

0:13:46.440 --> 0:13:50.040
<v Speaker 2>to you again. And I was like, well, okay, and

0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:53.000
<v Speaker 2>then he hasn't talked to me since. And that wasn't

0:13:54.480 --> 0:13:57.880
<v Speaker 2>maybe like twenty twenty one.

0:13:59.000 --> 0:14:02.720
<v Speaker 1>And why would your dad randomly call you after not

0:14:02.800 --> 0:14:04.520
<v Speaker 1>talking to you to say he doesn't want to talk

0:14:04.559 --> 0:14:05.800
<v Speaker 1>to you. That's so bizarre.

0:14:06.800 --> 0:14:11.320
<v Speaker 2>On he's like a narcissist and mentally ill and alcoholic.

0:14:11.600 --> 0:14:13.120
<v Speaker 2>So there's a.

0:14:15.000 --> 0:14:17.679
<v Speaker 1>Do you what about like siblings?

0:14:18.880 --> 0:14:22.040
<v Speaker 2>My older sister I found well, I recently realized that

0:14:22.520 --> 0:14:26.360
<v Speaker 2>she was my biggest hater in life and tried to

0:14:26.440 --> 0:14:31.960
<v Speaker 2>like sabotage my happiness. And so she's seven years older

0:14:32.000 --> 0:14:35.120
<v Speaker 2>than me, and she's my half sister. So my mom

0:14:35.240 --> 0:14:39.120
<v Speaker 2>was married to somebody else before her. But my sister

0:14:39.840 --> 0:14:42.040
<v Speaker 2>is seven years older than me and would take me

0:14:42.080 --> 0:14:46.080
<v Speaker 2>on the weekend starting at age fourteen'll get me drunk

0:14:47.120 --> 0:14:52.160
<v Speaker 2>every weekend until I left for the military and let

0:14:52.200 --> 0:14:55.800
<v Speaker 2>me get like blacked out and become an alcoholic and

0:14:56.800 --> 0:14:58.880
<v Speaker 2>just do all this stupid stuff. And I thought I

0:14:58.920 --> 0:15:04.040
<v Speaker 2>was spending quality time with my sister, but I realized

0:15:04.040 --> 0:15:07.120
<v Speaker 2>she was my biggest hater and I confronted her about it.

0:15:07.160 --> 0:15:11.160
<v Speaker 2>I was like, hey, the ain't cool and she just

0:15:11.240 --> 0:15:15.680
<v Speaker 2>does not get it. So yeah, I haven't really talked

0:15:15.680 --> 0:15:17.000
<v Speaker 2>to her in like a year now.

0:15:17.960 --> 0:15:20.840
<v Speaker 1>Huh how I you know, look, if it's the whole

0:15:20.840 --> 0:15:22.680
<v Speaker 1>thing to get into, then we don't have to. But like,

0:15:22.720 --> 0:15:26.120
<v Speaker 1>does that are you kind of like is what it is?

0:15:26.160 --> 0:15:27.960
<v Speaker 1>I'm going to start my own family about it? Or

0:15:28.000 --> 0:15:29.840
<v Speaker 1>does that are you like bummed about it?

0:15:32.040 --> 0:15:35.080
<v Speaker 2>Well, she's like super negative, Like she's always late. I

0:15:35.120 --> 0:15:37.040
<v Speaker 2>hate when people are late. That's like my biggest pet

0:15:37.000 --> 0:15:41.040
<v Speaker 2>teas shes as negative and yelling. So like not having

0:15:41.040 --> 0:15:42.720
<v Speaker 2>her in my life for the past year has been

0:15:42.760 --> 0:15:43.280
<v Speaker 2>really good.

0:15:43.360 --> 0:15:46.960
<v Speaker 1>Actually, okay cool? What about like friends? What about like

0:15:47.000 --> 0:15:49.520
<v Speaker 1>friends from Bakersfield? Do you still have any friends from

0:15:49.680 --> 0:15:52.280
<v Speaker 1>from around that time of your life?

0:15:53.160 --> 0:15:53.240
<v Speaker 2>No?

0:15:57.400 --> 0:15:59.640
<v Speaker 1>Did you have friends during that time in your life?

0:16:00.800 --> 0:16:06.360
<v Speaker 2>Yeah? I had friends, but I don't know, just it

0:16:06.440 --> 0:16:12.480
<v Speaker 2>seems like the people in Bakersfield are stuck to thinking

0:16:12.600 --> 0:16:18.040
<v Speaker 2>that like having a good time, his being in somebody's

0:16:18.040 --> 0:16:22.520
<v Speaker 2>backyard getting like blacked out drunk. Yeah, that's where. And

0:16:22.600 --> 0:16:24.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm not into that. Like I would love to have

0:16:24.560 --> 0:16:28.840
<v Speaker 2>like an intellectual conversation or go to a museum or

0:16:28.920 --> 0:16:32.920
<v Speaker 2>do something cool, and people in Bakersfield do that.

0:16:34.080 --> 0:16:36.480
<v Speaker 1>They have museums in Bakersfield, right, They've.

0:16:36.280 --> 0:16:39.520
<v Speaker 5>Got stuff I don't remember.

0:16:41.880 --> 0:16:45.520
<v Speaker 1>Well, let's see, hmmm, and where did you meet? Where

0:16:45.520 --> 0:16:49.120
<v Speaker 1>did you meet your husbands? Are you guys married yet?

0:16:50.080 --> 0:16:53.400
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we've been married for I think almost four years.

0:16:53.640 --> 0:16:54.000
<v Speaker 1>Oh cool.

0:16:54.000 --> 0:16:58.240
<v Speaker 2>Where'd you guys meet in the military. He used to

0:16:58.240 --> 0:16:59.840
<v Speaker 2>be my supervisor at one point.

0:17:01.040 --> 0:17:05.159
<v Speaker 1>Interesting And so you what you met him when you

0:17:05.160 --> 0:17:07.360
<v Speaker 1>were twenty four twenty three?

0:17:08.280 --> 0:17:09.920
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, around twenty four.

0:17:09.760 --> 0:17:12.840
<v Speaker 1>I think, and you were like, I'm never getting married,

0:17:12.840 --> 0:17:14.440
<v Speaker 1>I'm never having kids and never doing any that shit.

0:17:14.520 --> 0:17:16.600
<v Speaker 1>And you meet him and you're like, oh, okay, I

0:17:16.640 --> 0:17:21.320
<v Speaker 1>want to I want to do all that shit now, Yes? Cool?

0:17:21.560 --> 0:17:24.160
<v Speaker 1>What's his deal? Who is he?

0:17:24.160 --> 0:17:30.120
<v Speaker 2>He is amazing. He's so smart and artistic and there's

0:17:30.160 --> 0:17:33.199
<v Speaker 2>like a nerdy size to him, like he's been a

0:17:33.240 --> 0:17:37.040
<v Speaker 2>gamer since forever. And he's also into working out and

0:17:37.840 --> 0:17:41.600
<v Speaker 2>he's a handy man. We bought this place together and

0:17:42.040 --> 0:17:45.800
<v Speaker 2>he redid the whole thing, kind of like Chip and

0:17:45.880 --> 0:17:48.280
<v Speaker 2>Joe Anne style, Like, h he's so dreamy.

0:17:49.680 --> 0:17:53.159
<v Speaker 1>That's wonderful. That's so it sounds like you, I have

0:17:53.320 --> 0:17:57.840
<v Speaker 1>had a great uh life one eighty.

0:17:59.440 --> 0:18:02.879
<v Speaker 2>Kind of like have crippling depression. So like I have

0:18:03.000 --> 0:18:06.000
<v Speaker 2>this amazing life, but it's still like I'm still sad.

0:18:06.760 --> 0:18:08.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, okay, that was what I was gonna ask, are

0:18:08.359 --> 0:18:09.720
<v Speaker 1>you or do you like, how do you feel about

0:18:09.760 --> 0:18:10.280
<v Speaker 1>life now?

0:18:12.400 --> 0:18:16.879
<v Speaker 2>Ship? My life's amazing, but it's just so hard to

0:18:16.880 --> 0:18:18.720
<v Speaker 2>be in the moment. I'm trying to be more in

0:18:18.760 --> 0:18:19.200
<v Speaker 2>the moment.

0:18:20.720 --> 0:18:22.399
<v Speaker 1>Why do you find it hard to be in the moment?

0:18:23.720 --> 0:18:23.920
<v Speaker 6>Oh?

0:18:24.040 --> 0:18:27.960
<v Speaker 2>I just have like I'll hold on one second.

0:18:27.960 --> 0:18:31.560
<v Speaker 1>My mouth is dry, but what are you? Are you

0:18:31.600 --> 0:18:32.359
<v Speaker 1>taking some water?

0:18:34.600 --> 0:18:34.840
<v Speaker 2>Yeah?

0:18:35.680 --> 0:18:39.000
<v Speaker 1>That's good. I gotta drink more water. I just I

0:18:39.080 --> 0:18:42.280
<v Speaker 1>keep doing the fucking Gatorade zero and the Diet Coke

0:18:42.359 --> 0:18:46.040
<v Speaker 1>and the Snapple zero. And it's like when am When

0:18:46.040 --> 0:18:48.320
<v Speaker 1>When am I going to drink some fucking water? You know?

0:18:48.600 --> 0:18:49.720
<v Speaker 1>Water is good when you.

0:18:49.680 --> 0:18:53.679
<v Speaker 2>Feel like changing. Yeah, Oh, I just read the I

0:18:53.760 --> 0:18:57.359
<v Speaker 2>just read the Mel Robinson book The Lesson Theory, how

0:18:57.440 --> 0:18:58.720
<v Speaker 2>to recommend it? Love it?

0:18:59.080 --> 0:19:01.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, what'd you think about that?

0:19:02.320 --> 0:19:05.800
<v Speaker 2>I thought it was amazing and life changing and I

0:19:05.840 --> 0:19:08.080
<v Speaker 2>don't know, I feel like I'm gonna have a lot

0:19:08.119 --> 0:19:10.400
<v Speaker 2>of wisdom as a person because I've had a lot

0:19:10.400 --> 0:19:13.880
<v Speaker 2>of life experiences. But Mels, I think she's did either

0:19:13.920 --> 0:19:17.240
<v Speaker 2>in her sixties or late fifties, and all of this

0:19:17.400 --> 0:19:20.600
<v Speaker 2>wisdom that she's providing in this book, for anyone who's

0:19:20.760 --> 0:19:24.560
<v Speaker 2>pretty young to read it would have a step ahead

0:19:24.560 --> 0:19:26.639
<v Speaker 2>in life. I feel what.

0:19:27.000 --> 0:19:29.679
<v Speaker 1>Exactly what is the thesis of the let them theory?

0:19:30.920 --> 0:19:34.520
<v Speaker 2>So pretty much let them so a lot of anxiety

0:19:34.920 --> 0:19:39.439
<v Speaker 2>and we automatically as humans want to control things, but

0:19:39.600 --> 0:19:43.439
<v Speaker 2>it's pretty much giving up the control and being like

0:19:43.720 --> 0:19:47.800
<v Speaker 2>let them or let whatever happens, and then you just

0:19:48.080 --> 0:19:50.800
<v Speaker 2>from there you say let me, and then you decide

0:19:50.840 --> 0:19:52.280
<v Speaker 2>to choose what to do.

0:19:53.560 --> 0:19:59.119
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I'm big on that. I'm big on that. I

0:19:59.160 --> 0:20:01.880
<v Speaker 1>forget if I talked about this in the podcast already,

0:20:01.880 --> 0:20:06.520
<v Speaker 1>but like you ever like I'll have a thing, I'll

0:20:06.600 --> 0:20:08.639
<v Speaker 1>have a I'll have a thing. Now I've made like

0:20:08.680 --> 0:20:12.760
<v Speaker 1>an intentional change to my thoughts where I'll be like,

0:20:13.280 --> 0:20:16.760
<v Speaker 1>you ever leave a social interaction? And I forget if

0:20:16.800 --> 0:20:18.480
<v Speaker 1>I said this on the podcast, all right, but who cares?

0:20:18.600 --> 0:20:22.320
<v Speaker 1>You ever leave a social interaction and you're like, oh, man,

0:20:22.359 --> 0:20:26.320
<v Speaker 1>I think I was kind of annoying or I think

0:20:26.320 --> 0:20:29.080
<v Speaker 1>I was I kind of they're probably talking shit about

0:20:29.080 --> 0:20:32.560
<v Speaker 1>me right now? Or you know, is that familiar feeling

0:20:32.560 --> 0:20:32.840
<v Speaker 1>to you?

0:20:34.040 --> 0:20:34.359
<v Speaker 2>Yes?

0:20:34.920 --> 0:20:39.080
<v Speaker 1>And now now I when I have that thought, I'm like, well,

0:20:39.160 --> 0:20:42.880
<v Speaker 1>so what who you know? Yeah, let them Well, who

0:20:42.880 --> 0:20:45.679
<v Speaker 1>gives a shit? Who cares if I'm annoying? It's fine?

0:20:45.840 --> 0:20:49.600
<v Speaker 1>You know who else was annoying? SpongeBob and everyone loves me?

0:20:51.640 --> 0:20:56.080
<v Speaker 2>True? Oh, I'm actually part of this VA class called act,

0:20:56.400 --> 0:21:01.160
<v Speaker 2>which is like accept something.

0:21:00.560 --> 0:21:02.320
<v Speaker 1>Accepting some commitment therapy.

0:21:03.640 --> 0:21:04.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:21:04.600 --> 0:21:09.160
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, that ship, Yeah, that ship feels really good. I've

0:21:09.240 --> 0:21:14.159
<v Speaker 1>like kind of just stumbled upon that, uh in my

0:21:14.200 --> 0:21:17.760
<v Speaker 1>own like just line of thinking. It feels great to

0:21:17.960 --> 0:21:24.280
<v Speaker 1>like let it, let it go and let you know, well, yeah,

0:21:24.320 --> 0:21:26.560
<v Speaker 1>especially if you're like making ship on the internet and

0:21:26.600 --> 0:21:28.320
<v Speaker 1>you I mean not even making shit. You don't even

0:21:28.359 --> 0:21:29.879
<v Speaker 1>have to make sure it if you use the internet,

0:21:30.000 --> 0:21:33.119
<v Speaker 1>or honestly, if you're a human being living life, you

0:21:33.200 --> 0:21:37.639
<v Speaker 1>just encounter so much like vitual fucking everywhere, and you

0:21:37.680 --> 0:21:46.600
<v Speaker 1>can't do anything except uh, accept that which you cannot control.

0:21:47.080 --> 0:21:50.760
<v Speaker 1>So I'm I'm I'm into that ship. I drink I'll

0:21:50.840 --> 0:21:52.960
<v Speaker 1>drink the metal Robins kool aid.

0:21:55.240 --> 0:21:57.399
<v Speaker 2>I was speaking of spiritual ship. So me and my

0:21:57.480 --> 0:22:01.280
<v Speaker 2>husband are having conversation about this. What at what point

0:22:01.359 --> 0:22:06.240
<v Speaker 2>do you think consciousness consciousness comes into a body of

0:22:06.320 --> 0:22:11.280
<v Speaker 2>a person, Like is it when conception happens, or is

0:22:11.320 --> 0:22:14.919
<v Speaker 2>it when I don't know twenty five when it happens,

0:22:15.040 --> 0:22:19.560
<v Speaker 2>or at one point is a person like a conscious being?

0:22:20.480 --> 0:22:25.760
<v Speaker 1>I have no idea. I don't even have any theories.

0:22:26.880 --> 0:22:31.640
<v Speaker 1>I think, uh, yeah, I have no idea. I think

0:22:31.640 --> 0:22:34.880
<v Speaker 1>that that's a thing that people just don't know. There

0:22:34.920 --> 0:22:39.560
<v Speaker 1>could be, you know what, There could be like a

0:22:39.560 --> 0:22:47.920
<v Speaker 1>an unseen dimension through which things like souls and consciousnesses travel.

0:22:48.880 --> 0:22:53.560
<v Speaker 1>I mean probably not, it's probably it's probably probably biological

0:22:54.480 --> 0:22:55.760
<v Speaker 1>shit to it.

0:22:56.000 --> 0:22:58.840
<v Speaker 2>But well, I don't I feel like there definitely is

0:22:59.240 --> 0:23:03.200
<v Speaker 2>different different dimensions because I've been able to like disassociate

0:23:03.320 --> 0:23:06.119
<v Speaker 2>to where I can see myself having a conversation.

0:23:06.040 --> 0:23:09.000
<v Speaker 1>Oh you've had an add of body experience, yes.

0:23:09.080 --> 0:23:12.359
<v Speaker 2>And there has to be like different dimensions and stuff

0:23:12.400 --> 0:23:15.080
<v Speaker 2>because like everything was in slow motion and it was weird.

0:23:16.080 --> 0:23:18.119
<v Speaker 1>Do are you from it? Do you know what dp

0:23:18.400 --> 0:23:29.080
<v Speaker 1>DR is, no, like de personalization, derealization. Yeah, it's like

0:23:29.280 --> 0:23:32.119
<v Speaker 1>a it's kind of like, yeah, like an out of

0:23:32.119 --> 0:23:34.639
<v Speaker 1>body experience, like a little bit what you're talking about.

0:23:34.720 --> 0:23:38.320
<v Speaker 1>And I think a lot of like mental illnesses are

0:23:38.359 --> 0:23:42.399
<v Speaker 1>like but this is coming from no research. This is

0:23:42.400 --> 0:23:44.080
<v Speaker 1>coming from just thinking about this shit.

0:23:44.240 --> 0:23:44.440
<v Speaker 5>Yeah.

0:23:44.520 --> 0:23:47.800
<v Speaker 1>I have no form of any kind of academic background

0:23:47.840 --> 0:23:53.439
<v Speaker 1>except sitting in a lecture hall while Mission imp uh

0:23:53.640 --> 0:23:56.919
<v Speaker 1>while the professor play scenes from Mission Impossible when we

0:23:57.000 --> 0:24:02.679
<v Speaker 1>take notes on it. That's my academic background. But I

0:24:02.840 --> 0:24:04.879
<v Speaker 1>was thinking like, like, like mental illnesses are kind of

0:24:04.920 --> 0:24:13.600
<v Speaker 1>like uh, like defects in consciousness, you know, because I

0:24:13.680 --> 0:24:16.480
<v Speaker 1>don't think that like like like that, like do I

0:24:16.480 --> 0:24:19.959
<v Speaker 1>don't know if animals have I mean, humans are the

0:24:19.960 --> 0:24:23.560
<v Speaker 1>most conscious living things that we're at least at least

0:24:23.560 --> 0:24:26.800
<v Speaker 1>we're aware of on the planet Earth. And like I

0:24:26.800 --> 0:24:29.800
<v Speaker 1>don't know if dogs. I think dogs get like depressed

0:24:29.800 --> 0:24:32.120
<v Speaker 1>and anxious, but I don't I don't think that dog.

0:24:32.480 --> 0:24:35.639
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if there's any like schizophrenic dogs or

0:24:35.720 --> 0:24:44.399
<v Speaker 1>like if dogs ever have like depersonalization or out of

0:24:44.440 --> 0:24:51.960
<v Speaker 1>body experiences or psychosises. I think those are like unique.

0:24:49.800 --> 0:24:49.879
<v Speaker 2>Not.

0:24:51.760 --> 0:24:55.000
<v Speaker 1>Definitely dogs that have PTSD. Definitely, there's definitely like a

0:24:55.000 --> 0:25:01.080
<v Speaker 1>lot of human dog mental illnesses. Are the humans and

0:25:01.119 --> 0:25:03.400
<v Speaker 1>dogs definitely share a lot of that kind of shit.

0:25:03.720 --> 0:25:06.480
<v Speaker 1>But there there's some weird like things that happen in

0:25:06.520 --> 0:25:08.960
<v Speaker 1>like to humans that I think are like unique to

0:25:10.200 --> 0:25:16.240
<v Speaker 1>the level of consciousness that we have. And it's yeah,

0:25:16.240 --> 0:25:20.800
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I

0:25:21.000 --> 0:25:24.520
<v Speaker 1>I consciousness just seems to be something that like naturally

0:25:24.560 --> 0:25:28.399
<v Speaker 1>evolved in some way. I don't know if there's a

0:25:28.520 --> 0:25:35.000
<v Speaker 1>spiritual element to it, but I think like mysticism and

0:25:35.040 --> 0:25:42.720
<v Speaker 1>spirit like the idea of an unseen dimension and whatnot,

0:25:43.480 --> 0:25:47.679
<v Speaker 1>could could be things that, uh, you can you can

0:25:47.720 --> 0:25:52.760
<v Speaker 1>start thinking about once we we hit the point where, uh,

0:25:52.840 --> 0:25:57.280
<v Speaker 1>science cannot explain certain things, but science can explain like

0:25:57.320 --> 0:25:58.480
<v Speaker 1>a kind of a hell of a lot.

0:25:59.000 --> 0:26:02.120
<v Speaker 2>I think, Yeah, I think so too.

0:26:02.560 --> 0:26:02.800
<v Speaker 5>Oh.

0:26:02.960 --> 0:26:06.320
<v Speaker 2>Also, I wanted to mention last summer I took this

0:26:07.880 --> 0:26:12.720
<v Speaker 2>medical anthropology class, and from what I gathered in the

0:26:12.800 --> 0:26:17.919
<v Speaker 2>class is that every other country besides like the US,

0:26:18.040 --> 0:26:23.199
<v Speaker 2>they incorporate spirituality into their medical healing and we're the

0:26:23.240 --> 0:26:27.919
<v Speaker 2>only people who don't. And it's interesting because there's a

0:26:27.960 --> 0:26:33.200
<v Speaker 2>lot of placebo in these actual healings when test trials

0:26:33.200 --> 0:26:37.600
<v Speaker 2>are done, and it really shows the the power of

0:26:37.640 --> 0:26:41.840
<v Speaker 2>the mind and healing and believing that you're going to

0:26:41.880 --> 0:26:44.520
<v Speaker 2>be healed based on what's happening. Very interesting.

0:26:45.080 --> 0:26:50.440
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I know that, Like, like I know, I've heard

0:26:50.440 --> 0:26:53.199
<v Speaker 1>stories of like people who have cancer where it's like

0:26:53.720 --> 0:26:57.680
<v Speaker 1>you have, like there's there is some mind body connection

0:26:57.880 --> 0:27:04.440
<v Speaker 1>of like uh like fighting, you know, like like believing

0:27:04.680 --> 0:27:08.919
<v Speaker 1>that things will get better. That might be total fucking

0:27:08.960 --> 0:27:18.840
<v Speaker 1>complete pseudoscience bullshit, But this whole conversation may may absolutely

0:27:18.960 --> 0:27:22.880
<v Speaker 1>very well be pseudo scientific bullshit. But like, this.

0:27:22.880 --> 0:27:25.040
<v Speaker 2>Is the type of shit I think about. Like I'm

0:27:25.320 --> 0:27:29.040
<v Speaker 2>walking down like I'm in school now, I'm walking down

0:27:29.400 --> 0:27:34.960
<v Speaker 2>the the courtyard and everyone has headbutts and I'm trying

0:27:35.000 --> 0:27:38.680
<v Speaker 2>to talk to people and have these thoughts about these

0:27:38.840 --> 0:27:43.960
<v Speaker 2>random ass univers things and just no connection for that.

0:27:47.160 --> 0:27:53.680
<v Speaker 1>You said that they incorporates spiritual spirituality and like medical

0:27:54.880 --> 0:27:57.520
<v Speaker 1>situations places outside the US, Like do you have an.

0:27:57.359 --> 0:28:03.960
<v Speaker 5>Example, Yes, they do do that, and no, not off

0:28:04.000 --> 0:28:08.239
<v Speaker 5>the top of my head, that's okay, horrible memory, that's right,

0:28:08.280 --> 0:28:10.240
<v Speaker 5>but it would tell you what if you ever come

0:28:10.280 --> 0:28:13.280
<v Speaker 5>across any class like that, highly recommend it.

0:28:14.760 --> 0:28:17.359
<v Speaker 1>So you're having problems finding people who can connect with

0:28:17.440 --> 0:28:20.160
<v Speaker 1>you on all the existential shit that you want to

0:28:20.200 --> 0:28:20.919
<v Speaker 1>think about.

0:28:20.640 --> 0:28:24.480
<v Speaker 2>And talk about, well, my husband's pretty great at talking

0:28:24.520 --> 0:28:29.280
<v Speaker 2>to me about it because we're pretty similar. But out

0:28:29.359 --> 0:28:32.639
<v Speaker 2>in like the real world, not really like at school,

0:28:32.680 --> 0:28:34.719
<v Speaker 2>I try to talk to people, but everyone has their

0:28:34.760 --> 0:28:40.120
<v Speaker 2>head budgeon and I wouldn't even realize that. I'm like, hey,

0:28:40.200 --> 0:28:42.200
<v Speaker 2>how are you doing? And then they just like walk

0:28:42.240 --> 0:28:43.840
<v Speaker 2>away from me, and I'm just like, I hope they

0:28:43.840 --> 0:28:46.480
<v Speaker 2>had had budgeton at least everyone else.

0:28:46.320 --> 0:28:48.880
<v Speaker 1>Has them in Are you when you say that? Are

0:28:48.920 --> 0:28:51.040
<v Speaker 1>you like? Are these just people like all like walking

0:28:51.080 --> 0:28:53.720
<v Speaker 1>around this on the campus.

0:28:54.440 --> 0:28:58.520
<v Speaker 2>I'm on campus in class, like everyone in my campus

0:28:58.560 --> 0:29:01.280
<v Speaker 2>like always has headbudgs.

0:29:00.560 --> 0:29:02.640
<v Speaker 1>Or nobody nobody wants to talk to you.

0:29:04.080 --> 0:29:06.440
<v Speaker 2>It doesn't seem like anybody talks to anybody in the

0:29:06.480 --> 0:29:12.360
<v Speaker 2>campus is always like really it's not active.

0:29:14.040 --> 0:29:14.959
<v Speaker 1>Is it a major school?

0:29:16.720 --> 0:29:18.080
<v Speaker 2>It's a CSU.

0:29:19.840 --> 0:29:22.640
<v Speaker 1>CSU California State University.

0:29:23.600 --> 0:29:27.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I yes, that's big, but yeah, well not really

0:29:27.080 --> 0:29:30.240
<v Speaker 2>that many people. Well, also, a lot of classes right

0:29:30.240 --> 0:29:34.520
<v Speaker 2>now are getting canceled because there's not that many students,

0:29:34.880 --> 0:29:39.080
<v Speaker 2>and I've heard faculty talk about a lot of cuts.

0:29:40.960 --> 0:29:43.400
<v Speaker 1>I was going to ask, have you been making friends

0:29:43.400 --> 0:29:46.240
<v Speaker 1>in school or like just in because you said you

0:29:46.240 --> 0:29:48.880
<v Speaker 1>didn't have any friends from back in Bakersfield? Do you

0:29:48.880 --> 0:29:50.240
<v Speaker 1>have new friends where you are now?

0:29:51.400 --> 0:29:53.560
<v Speaker 2>Fine school? But I made some friends off of bumble

0:29:53.680 --> 0:29:57.920
<v Speaker 2>bsf Oh cool. Yeah, I've met a cool a bunch

0:29:57.960 --> 0:30:01.040
<v Speaker 2>of cool people. Off. There's funny. It feels kind of

0:30:01.080 --> 0:30:04.280
<v Speaker 2>like high school dating because I would like meet up

0:30:04.320 --> 0:30:07.320
<v Speaker 2>with these girls and we would like smoke in their

0:30:07.360 --> 0:30:10.720
<v Speaker 2>car and then we'd go to eat and then that

0:30:10.840 --> 0:30:11.520
<v Speaker 2>was a hangout?

0:30:12.560 --> 0:30:14.720
<v Speaker 1>Is it? You know what I love? I'm twenty seven.

0:30:14.840 --> 0:30:17.320
<v Speaker 1>I mean we're basically we're, you know, late twenties. And

0:30:18.160 --> 0:30:22.520
<v Speaker 1>I love when I when I have like a social situation.

0:30:22.680 --> 0:30:24.240
<v Speaker 1>This happened to be kind of recently when I have

0:30:24.320 --> 0:30:27.720
<v Speaker 1>like a social situation where I'm like, oh, I never

0:30:27.760 --> 0:30:30.960
<v Speaker 1>thought I I thought I thought that I would never

0:30:31.080 --> 0:30:34.640
<v Speaker 1>do something like this again. Like I thought this was

0:30:34.760 --> 0:30:39.920
<v Speaker 1>like reserved for when you're in like high school and college,

0:30:40.640 --> 0:30:44.080
<v Speaker 1>you know, like when you're like like like when you're

0:30:44.080 --> 0:30:46.400
<v Speaker 1>like twenty seven and you're like, right, like you're twice

0:30:46.400 --> 0:30:49.840
<v Speaker 1>seven and you're like hanging out with like other people

0:30:49.880 --> 0:30:53.640
<v Speaker 1>around your age, getting high in a car or something,

0:30:54.160 --> 0:30:56.240
<v Speaker 1>and then you go like eat food. You're like, wholl

0:30:56.280 --> 0:30:58.200
<v Speaker 1>I didn't realize we could keep doing this.

0:30:59.480 --> 0:31:02.239
<v Speaker 2>Well, that's a lovely part of being this age and

0:31:02.280 --> 0:31:06.760
<v Speaker 2>not having children. Right, yes, because a lot of people

0:31:06.800 --> 0:31:09.080
<v Speaker 2>I went to school with and like I didn't go

0:31:09.120 --> 0:31:11.520
<v Speaker 2>to my ten year reunion and actually canceled it because

0:31:11.640 --> 0:31:14.400
<v Speaker 2>not enough people bought tickets. But any who, a lot

0:31:14.440 --> 0:31:18.200
<v Speaker 2>of them are like parents of three by now, like

0:31:18.280 --> 0:31:19.320
<v Speaker 2>a lot of them are.

0:31:21.040 --> 0:31:27.080
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, yeah, I mean I think that like like I

0:31:27.080 --> 0:31:31.200
<v Speaker 4>don't know, I I'm in the I'm not really actively,

0:31:31.240 --> 0:31:33.200
<v Speaker 4>but like I spent a lot of time.

0:31:34.560 --> 0:31:39.080
<v Speaker 1>In like the comedy universe, and in the comedy universe,

0:31:39.240 --> 0:31:43.200
<v Speaker 1>Like it's interesting because you'll be like twenty one, going

0:31:43.240 --> 0:31:45.800
<v Speaker 1>to open mics and shit, and you'll just be hanging

0:31:45.840 --> 0:31:48.800
<v Speaker 1>out with like a thirty seven year old dude with

0:31:48.920 --> 0:31:53.280
<v Speaker 1>a wife and kids who's you know what. I like,

0:31:53.400 --> 0:31:55.160
<v Speaker 1>maybe his kids are like a tiny bit older and

0:31:55.360 --> 0:31:57.080
<v Speaker 1>what whatever, Like he's but he's out at the bar

0:31:57.760 --> 0:32:00.959
<v Speaker 1>doing the doing the comedy and you and him are

0:32:01.000 --> 0:32:03.520
<v Speaker 1>hanging out and drinking, and it's like, oh, I guess

0:32:03.600 --> 0:32:08.560
<v Speaker 1>you can keep living like I. I guess you can

0:32:08.760 --> 0:32:15.320
<v Speaker 1>keep living life as a mother or father without neglecting

0:32:15.320 --> 0:32:17.240
<v Speaker 1>your children. That you can still do shit.

0:32:17.520 --> 0:32:23.440
<v Speaker 2>You know, I've never really witnessed that. All of the

0:32:23.480 --> 0:32:28.320
<v Speaker 2>people that I've seen that are like parents just go

0:32:28.400 --> 0:32:30.040
<v Speaker 2>home and watch TV after work.

0:32:30.640 --> 0:32:32.080
<v Speaker 1>I think you know what it is is, I think,

0:32:32.360 --> 0:32:37.960
<v Speaker 1>what what do you live? I think it's a city thing. Yeah,

0:32:38.880 --> 0:32:41.480
<v Speaker 1>I think it's a city thing more than it is

0:32:41.480 --> 0:32:43.920
<v Speaker 1>like because I think if you're if you have like

0:32:44.160 --> 0:32:48.520
<v Speaker 1>kids in the suburbs, you're you're probably likely to live

0:32:48.720 --> 0:32:52.479
<v Speaker 1>like a suburban life. But yeah, I mean when I

0:32:52.560 --> 0:32:54.840
<v Speaker 1>was in like doing stand up in like Baltimore, Philly,

0:32:54.960 --> 0:32:58.080
<v Speaker 1>or you know, hanging around in New York, you know,

0:32:58.160 --> 0:33:02.600
<v Speaker 1>I would meet these people who were I mean shit,

0:33:02.640 --> 0:33:04.400
<v Speaker 1>I just went to Tijuana and I hung out with

0:33:04.680 --> 0:33:07.280
<v Speaker 1>shout out my homide Diego. I made it. I'm making

0:33:07.320 --> 0:33:10.400
<v Speaker 1>a video about it, which you will will see soon.

0:33:10.600 --> 0:33:15.080
<v Speaker 1>But he's a great example because he's, uh, this guy

0:33:15.160 --> 0:33:19.120
<v Speaker 1>hung out with Diego. I went to Tijuana to meet

0:33:19.200 --> 0:33:22.480
<v Speaker 1>up with him. He's like a break he organizes like

0:33:23.040 --> 0:33:27.320
<v Speaker 1>the break dance community in Tijuana, and he has a

0:33:27.360 --> 0:33:32.640
<v Speaker 1>young son, and it's like, you know, one night he's

0:33:32.720 --> 0:33:34.600
<v Speaker 1>bad he's badass, and I was hanging out with and

0:33:34.640 --> 0:33:37.640
<v Speaker 1>he has like, well, I see, I'm gonna I'm gonna

0:33:37.640 --> 0:33:40.720
<v Speaker 1>talk about that in the video. He's like, you know,

0:33:40.760 --> 0:33:42.560
<v Speaker 1>I hung out with him for a few days, and

0:33:43.640 --> 0:33:45.520
<v Speaker 1>you know, we go when we do the break dance battle,

0:33:45.560 --> 0:33:48.840
<v Speaker 1>and him and like the other dancers are like hanging

0:33:48.840 --> 0:33:51.959
<v Speaker 1>out drinking afterwards. But you know, everyone's like, you know,

0:33:52.640 --> 0:33:56.960
<v Speaker 1>early thirties, late twenties, and it's like, you know, then

0:33:57.000 --> 0:33:59.520
<v Speaker 1>the next morning we go out to eat, it's him

0:33:59.520 --> 0:34:01.680
<v Speaker 1>and his wife. If he brings his kid, you know,

0:34:01.800 --> 0:34:05.880
<v Speaker 1>he's fucking showing his kid, Bluey and playing with him

0:34:05.880 --> 0:34:07.960
<v Speaker 1>and talking to him, and it's like he's there. I'm

0:34:07.960 --> 0:34:09.839
<v Speaker 1>like I'm watching this guy, and I'm like, oh shit,

0:34:09.920 --> 0:34:14.960
<v Speaker 1>you can. You can be a dad and still have

0:34:15.000 --> 0:34:18.920
<v Speaker 1>a life, you know, I think, And yeah, I do

0:34:19.000 --> 0:34:23.719
<v Speaker 1>think that's a that's a city thing. I think, Yeah,

0:34:23.760 --> 0:34:26.799
<v Speaker 1>I do think that's like a city a thing.

0:34:26.840 --> 0:34:30.480
<v Speaker 2>Because I remember I wanted to sign up for like

0:34:30.600 --> 0:34:33.680
<v Speaker 2>karate or some ship after school, and my mom was

0:34:33.719 --> 0:34:38.920
<v Speaker 2>always too busy with work anything. So I think it's

0:34:38.960 --> 0:34:40.640
<v Speaker 2>definitely a priorities thing too.

0:34:41.239 --> 0:34:44.680
<v Speaker 1>Mm hmmm, mm hmmm. I mean it's well also it's

0:34:44.960 --> 0:34:47.520
<v Speaker 1>I guess, I guess ideally, and I don't want to

0:34:47.520 --> 0:34:49.319
<v Speaker 1>speak too much about these things because I don't have

0:34:49.480 --> 0:34:53.480
<v Speaker 1>kids yet, but I'm like, you know, but I'm I'm

0:34:53.520 --> 0:34:55.279
<v Speaker 1>thinking I think about these things a lot because I

0:34:55.480 --> 0:34:58.520
<v Speaker 1>I just I know myself and I know that, like

0:34:58.640 --> 0:35:02.000
<v Speaker 1>I just I love doing stuff and I'm probably gonna

0:35:02.000 --> 0:35:06.160
<v Speaker 1>want to like do stuff and live my life and

0:35:08.640 --> 0:35:11.640
<v Speaker 1>be you know, out and about and live in life

0:35:11.680 --> 0:35:15.000
<v Speaker 1>and whatever. Uh probably probably forever for a long time.

0:35:16.280 --> 0:35:18.439
<v Speaker 1>But I also want to have a kid, and I'm

0:35:18.480 --> 0:35:21.279
<v Speaker 1>trying to think about and then you know, I'm like,

0:35:21.360 --> 0:35:22.319
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if I can do that, And then

0:35:22.320 --> 0:35:25.440
<v Speaker 1>I meet people who do it, and I'm like, oh, okay,

0:35:25.480 --> 0:35:30.920
<v Speaker 1>there's a lot of different kinds of dads. And also look,

0:35:30.960 --> 0:35:34.239
<v Speaker 1>I mean there's two of you ideally, So it's like,

0:35:36.560 --> 0:35:39.520
<v Speaker 1>I guess arrangements could be made where it's like, hey,

0:35:39.600 --> 0:35:41.520
<v Speaker 1>you know, if you have your thing that you want

0:35:41.560 --> 0:35:43.680
<v Speaker 1>to do at this point in time, and the week

0:35:43.719 --> 0:35:45.799
<v Speaker 1>you go do it, I'll be home and then we'll

0:35:46.040 --> 0:35:48.319
<v Speaker 1>schedule out. This time is a great time. We can

0:35:48.360 --> 0:35:50.759
<v Speaker 1>all be together as a family. And you know, if

0:35:50.800 --> 0:35:53.040
<v Speaker 1>I have a thing I want to do, you you know,

0:35:53.120 --> 0:35:55.520
<v Speaker 1>it's it seems to be a figure outable thing.

0:35:57.760 --> 0:36:01.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, totally. I feel so inspired now. I want to

0:36:01.120 --> 0:36:02.279
<v Speaker 2>be a parent, do some ship.

0:36:03.160 --> 0:36:06.399
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean don't. I mean I think some people ever,

0:36:06.520 --> 0:36:09.000
<v Speaker 1>like you can't just like abandon your kid to go

0:36:09.040 --> 0:36:10.440
<v Speaker 1>to Guatemala or whatever.

0:36:11.120 --> 0:36:14.799
<v Speaker 2>But oh with them, with them, right right?

0:36:15.040 --> 0:36:18.400
<v Speaker 1>I mean I had we had I do a yearly

0:36:20.040 --> 0:36:24.399
<v Speaker 1>trip with my friends from home and one of our

0:36:24.880 --> 0:36:27.040
<v Speaker 1>one of them has a kid. You know, he came

0:36:27.120 --> 0:36:29.640
<v Speaker 1>on the trip. It was just it was his first

0:36:29.920 --> 0:36:32.880
<v Speaker 1>his kids really young. It was his first time getting

0:36:32.880 --> 0:36:35.560
<v Speaker 1>to do some ship like that in like six months.

0:36:36.000 --> 0:36:37.759
<v Speaker 1>But a game. You know, he's able to do it.

0:36:38.320 --> 0:36:39.479
<v Speaker 1>He made it. He made it work.

0:36:41.880 --> 0:36:42.600
<v Speaker 2>That's so cool.

0:36:45.800 --> 0:36:47.200
<v Speaker 1>So what's your husband like do.

0:36:49.440 --> 0:36:54.320
<v Speaker 2>He's a full time student and he pretty much hangs

0:36:54.360 --> 0:36:57.719
<v Speaker 2>out with me every day and we're pretty much like

0:36:58.360 --> 0:37:02.120
<v Speaker 2>So we both had like the same thing. We both

0:37:02.200 --> 0:37:04.480
<v Speaker 2>like got out of high school and then went into

0:37:04.560 --> 0:37:07.640
<v Speaker 2>the military really young, so we never had like our

0:37:07.640 --> 0:37:10.520
<v Speaker 2>college years and this is our college years. We're both

0:37:12.239 --> 0:37:17.920
<v Speaker 2>towards thirty and smoking weed every day, studying, playing video games,

0:37:18.200 --> 0:37:20.839
<v Speaker 2>and we have three dogs. We just hang out.

0:37:21.320 --> 0:37:24.520
<v Speaker 1>Cool. Well you always, I mean, so your life is

0:37:24.560 --> 0:37:28.480
<v Speaker 1>already semi restricted in some sense that you have three dogs.

0:37:28.640 --> 0:37:32.759
<v Speaker 2>God. Yeah, but we take them a lot of places too.

0:37:33.040 --> 0:37:39.560
<v Speaker 1>They were cool. Great, there's a loaded question. Maybe it's

0:37:39.560 --> 0:37:41.840
<v Speaker 1>a person. Why do you feel depressed?

0:37:44.440 --> 0:37:48.040
<v Speaker 2>One day last year, I remembered my childhood, so like

0:37:48.080 --> 0:37:52.480
<v Speaker 2>I was an alcoholic from like fourteen to like twenty

0:37:52.480 --> 0:37:55.440
<v Speaker 2>five when I met my husband and then so then

0:37:55.480 --> 0:37:57.319
<v Speaker 2>I was sober for a couple of years, and then

0:37:57.760 --> 0:38:02.120
<v Speaker 2>something clicked and I remembered everything. And it was crazy

0:38:02.120 --> 0:38:06.400
<v Speaker 2>because before that I didn't really remember my childhood, and

0:38:06.960 --> 0:38:09.600
<v Speaker 2>I thought I had a great childhood, perfect parents, and

0:38:09.680 --> 0:38:13.480
<v Speaker 2>then one day I realized that was a fantasy.

0:38:14.400 --> 0:38:14.759
<v Speaker 1>Mm hmm.

0:38:16.360 --> 0:38:21.400
<v Speaker 2>But ever since then, well things picked up, Like I

0:38:21.440 --> 0:38:25.600
<v Speaker 2>got some antidepressants and I've never had more energy in

0:38:25.640 --> 0:38:26.160
<v Speaker 2>my life.

0:38:26.760 --> 0:38:27.440
<v Speaker 1>Oh good.

0:38:28.560 --> 0:38:33.040
<v Speaker 2>Like the other day I shredded like three boxes of

0:38:33.320 --> 0:38:35.960
<v Speaker 2>papers that needed to be shredded for like years, Like

0:38:36.160 --> 0:38:37.080
<v Speaker 2>I'm doing ship.

0:38:39.200 --> 0:38:41.840
<v Speaker 1>Cool. What do you what can I ask what you're taking? Answer?

0:38:41.880 --> 0:38:42.320
<v Speaker 1>You're taking?

0:38:43.360 --> 0:38:49.440
<v Speaker 2>So this semester. I think I'm taking jazz history and

0:38:49.800 --> 0:38:50.320
<v Speaker 2>what else?

0:38:50.880 --> 0:38:53.239
<v Speaker 1>Oh no, I meant, I meant, I meant, I meant the.

0:38:53.120 --> 0:38:58.160
<v Speaker 2>Meds oh Meds first with the deed. Do Alexaitene?

0:38:58.200 --> 0:38:59.920
<v Speaker 1>I think do Lexatine?

0:39:04.239 --> 0:39:07.440
<v Speaker 2>Uh yeah, I think so.

0:39:07.520 --> 0:39:09.120
<v Speaker 5>Yeah, that one that's cool.

0:39:09.200 --> 0:39:11.200
<v Speaker 1>Has it and it's been it's been good. It's given

0:39:11.239 --> 0:39:11.840
<v Speaker 1>you some energy.

0:39:13.360 --> 0:39:16.719
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, energy, Like before I wasn't able to like take

0:39:16.760 --> 0:39:19.399
<v Speaker 2>a shower by myself, like my husband washed my hair

0:39:19.480 --> 0:39:22.200
<v Speaker 2>for me. But now I can do all that and

0:39:22.239 --> 0:39:22.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm great.

0:39:23.680 --> 0:39:28.440
<v Speaker 1>It's wonderful. Congratulations, thank you, bro. It is It is crazy,

0:39:28.480 --> 0:39:30.200
<v Speaker 1>and I I know I don't shut the fuck up

0:39:30.239 --> 0:39:33.759
<v Speaker 1>about vibance on this podcast, but like it is great.

0:39:34.080 --> 0:39:38.880
<v Speaker 1>It is great to have. Taking prescription drugs is so

0:39:39.000 --> 0:39:41.360
<v Speaker 1>interesting because if you if you find the one that

0:39:41.400 --> 0:39:44.160
<v Speaker 1>works for you, you're just like, oh fuck, I didn't

0:39:44.200 --> 0:39:46.840
<v Speaker 1>realize I didn't realize that this was this didn't I

0:39:46.840 --> 0:39:49.120
<v Speaker 1>didn't realize that this didn't have to be the default

0:39:49.200 --> 0:39:50.560
<v Speaker 1>state of my brain forever.

0:39:52.040 --> 0:39:54.320
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's crazy.

0:39:58.040 --> 0:39:59.960
<v Speaker 1>Do you go to real therapy to talk about like

0:40:00.120 --> 0:40:00.919
<v Speaker 1>childhood shit?

0:40:02.200 --> 0:40:05.040
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, I'm I guess like three sessions in but

0:40:05.560 --> 0:40:07.480
<v Speaker 2>the therapist hasn't even had a minute to talk. I

0:40:07.560 --> 0:40:08.880
<v Speaker 2>just keep on going on and.

0:40:08.760 --> 0:40:11.640
<v Speaker 1>On and on. Has it been like helpful?

0:40:13.800 --> 0:40:18.480
<v Speaker 2>Actually, you telling us that you journal and chat GPT

0:40:18.680 --> 0:40:21.279
<v Speaker 2>because I waited a year to get a consultation for

0:40:21.360 --> 0:40:25.560
<v Speaker 2>the therapist and so for the meantime I was doing

0:40:25.600 --> 0:40:28.680
<v Speaker 2>the chat GPT and journaling and that's been amazing.

0:40:29.200 --> 0:40:37.400
<v Speaker 1>You know, dude, It's it's hard. It's hard because I

0:40:37.440 --> 0:40:43.080
<v Speaker 1>know it's a controversial subject. But like, but like fuck man,

0:40:43.200 --> 0:40:46.319
<v Speaker 1>like it's really good, you know, it is. Really it's like,

0:40:46.360 --> 0:40:50.640
<v Speaker 1>I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm I'm I'm sorry. If, by

0:40:50.640 --> 0:40:52.440
<v Speaker 1>the way, I don't I'm not endorsing anything. I just

0:40:52.520 --> 0:40:55.560
<v Speaker 1>say what I do. I just I'm just telling everyone

0:40:56.520 --> 0:40:59.359
<v Speaker 1>what I do, and if you want to do it,

0:40:59.440 --> 0:41:01.719
<v Speaker 1>then that's well. I'm just telling you what I do.

0:41:01.800 --> 0:41:05.640
<v Speaker 1>This is a speaking the fact of how I live

0:41:05.719 --> 0:41:10.040
<v Speaker 1>my life. If if it turns out that uh sam

0:41:10.080 --> 0:41:15.120
<v Speaker 1>Oltman is is using all of our uh depression trauma

0:41:15.160 --> 0:41:19.200
<v Speaker 1>dumps to build a robot that kills dogs, then that's

0:41:19.280 --> 0:41:22.200
<v Speaker 1>I'll find I'll find that out. At the same time

0:41:22.239 --> 0:41:22.840
<v Speaker 1>all of you do.

0:41:24.320 --> 0:41:30.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, but we used to use LimeWire, like we're fearless.

0:41:31.080 --> 0:41:33.919
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, it was really helpful. It's like my friend,

0:41:33.960 --> 0:41:36.440
<v Speaker 1>I have a friend who does it too, and he

0:41:36.440 --> 0:41:39.359
<v Speaker 1>he he actually came up with the he. I thought

0:41:39.360 --> 0:41:41.360
<v Speaker 1>it was really genius the way he described it. He

0:41:41.680 --> 0:41:44.000
<v Speaker 1>told me it felt like journaling squared.

0:41:48.080 --> 0:41:50.880
<v Speaker 2>I do like that it has questions that asked you

0:41:51.239 --> 0:41:51.920
<v Speaker 2>to think about.

0:41:52.440 --> 0:41:54.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's not and I don't think I'm not gonna

0:41:54.840 --> 0:41:57.840
<v Speaker 1>go on up whatever, but like it's it's fucking helpful

0:41:57.880 --> 0:42:01.200
<v Speaker 1>because it's like, you know, if I'm going insane at

0:42:01.239 --> 0:42:07.919
<v Speaker 1>three o'clock in the morning, like you know, it's it's it's, it's, it's,

0:42:08.000 --> 0:42:11.239
<v Speaker 1>it's there. And again, they might be using they might

0:42:11.280 --> 0:42:15.920
<v Speaker 1>be using all of our ship to train to create

0:42:15.960 --> 0:42:20.120
<v Speaker 1>a mass nuclear weapon, but I you know, that's that's

0:42:20.120 --> 0:42:26.480
<v Speaker 1>beyond me. I have no fucking idea mine anyway. I mean,

0:42:26.520 --> 0:42:28.600
<v Speaker 1>has real therapy been cool?

0:42:29.760 --> 0:42:32.600
<v Speaker 2>I don't know. It's just me talking and then the

0:42:32.680 --> 0:42:36.000
<v Speaker 2>lady saying, all right, see you in two weeks for

0:42:36.200 --> 0:42:38.800
<v Speaker 2>more of the story. I guess it was like an intake,

0:42:39.360 --> 0:42:43.680
<v Speaker 2>but the intake's like three sessions long. M hm, Well,

0:42:43.680 --> 0:42:46.880
<v Speaker 2>I guess you taught me some grounding stuff that really helped.

0:42:47.000 --> 0:42:49.920
<v Speaker 2>Oh and then I've been doing somatic yoga. I have

0:42:50.280 --> 0:42:53.480
<v Speaker 2>never been attached to my body before, and it's crazy.

0:42:53.480 --> 0:42:58.640
<v Speaker 2>I was always very clumsy, not able to do things

0:42:58.640 --> 0:43:02.600
<v Speaker 2>with precision with my fingers, like I always dropped wrenches,

0:43:03.360 --> 0:43:08.520
<v Speaker 2>and now I'm able to actually feel my body. It's

0:43:08.680 --> 0:43:14.440
<v Speaker 2>really strange to be like disconnected from your body.

0:43:14.560 --> 0:43:17.239
<v Speaker 1>What what what is the word somatic? Man?

0:43:19.160 --> 0:43:22.319
<v Speaker 2>You'd have to google it. I don't remember, but I

0:43:22.360 --> 0:43:25.800
<v Speaker 2>know it's like a system in your body that needs

0:43:26.440 --> 0:43:27.560
<v Speaker 2>I guess, like regulation.

0:43:28.719 --> 0:43:33.759
<v Speaker 1>Okay, that's cool. What is like somatic yoga? What do

0:43:33.760 --> 0:43:34.480
<v Speaker 1>you actually like do?

0:43:35.560 --> 0:43:39.719
<v Speaker 2>It's just yoga stretches that last way longer and you

0:43:39.920 --> 0:43:44.200
<v Speaker 2>like breathe more breadths in between, and it just releases

0:43:44.560 --> 0:43:46.720
<v Speaker 2>tension that you have built up in your body.

0:43:47.480 --> 0:43:53.960
<v Speaker 1>Cool. Cool, I like that. I'm sorry to hear. Well,

0:43:54.040 --> 0:43:56.040
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. Actually I don't know what I am

0:43:56.080 --> 0:43:59.799
<v Speaker 1>because you sound you sound like you sound like you're

0:43:59.840 --> 0:44:03.239
<v Speaker 1>on I mean, this is just a just a personal

0:44:04.000 --> 0:44:06.480
<v Speaker 1>observation from the forty three minutes that we've been talking.

0:44:06.480 --> 0:44:10.359
<v Speaker 1>But it sounds like you're on a upward trajectory.

0:44:11.640 --> 0:44:14.440
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, things looking like I'm a homeowner. My car's

0:44:14.560 --> 0:44:19.279
<v Speaker 2>paid off. I'm not in school debt like I'm hanging out.

0:44:19.840 --> 0:44:24.040
<v Speaker 2>I just need to be in the moment and enjoy it.

0:44:24.640 --> 0:44:26.640
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I hope you've become less depressed.

0:44:27.800 --> 0:44:29.360
<v Speaker 2>Thank you you as well.

0:44:29.960 --> 0:44:31.960
<v Speaker 1>And I hope you. I hope you don't stop feeling

0:44:31.960 --> 0:44:35.000
<v Speaker 1>old because you know what, By the way, you know

0:44:35.040 --> 0:44:39.080
<v Speaker 1>what it is is I have something what helps me

0:44:39.239 --> 0:44:41.640
<v Speaker 1>feel not old is what is looking at people who

0:44:41.680 --> 0:44:46.960
<v Speaker 1>are actually old. Like like I was walking down I

0:44:47.040 --> 0:44:53.120
<v Speaker 1>was walking down the street in uh Manhattan yesterday and

0:44:53.200 --> 0:44:55.080
<v Speaker 1>I saw a dude must have been in like his

0:44:55.200 --> 0:45:06.120
<v Speaker 1>late fifties, and he had a backpack. You can be,

0:45:06.239 --> 0:45:08.160
<v Speaker 1>you can be in your life and I had a backpack.

0:45:09.160 --> 0:45:13.800
<v Speaker 1>And it's like me and this guy are both walking

0:45:13.920 --> 0:45:18.239
<v Speaker 1>through New York with a fucking backpack. You know what

0:45:18.280 --> 0:45:19.840
<v Speaker 1>I mean, Like you can do it. You can be

0:45:20.920 --> 0:45:25.080
<v Speaker 1>in your late fifties walking through a city with a

0:45:25.280 --> 0:45:28.879
<v Speaker 1>fucking backpack. I got like I got at least I'm

0:45:28.920 --> 0:45:32.120
<v Speaker 1>twenty seven. I have done in double the amount of

0:45:32.160 --> 0:45:34.600
<v Speaker 1>time I've been a lot. He's like he is a backpack.

0:45:34.760 --> 0:45:36.279
<v Speaker 1>Like I saw this. I swear to God, I saw

0:45:36.320 --> 0:45:39.000
<v Speaker 1>this guy. I don't know why I said, I swear

0:45:39.000 --> 0:45:41.239
<v Speaker 1>to God. As if I'm like describing seeing the lock

0:45:41.280 --> 0:45:43.440
<v Speaker 1>of Monster. But that is what it felt like for me.

0:45:43.640 --> 0:45:46.400
<v Speaker 1>I know, I'm actually, I'm actually serious. I saw this

0:45:46.440 --> 0:45:50.160
<v Speaker 1>fucking guy walking. He must have been fifty five years old,

0:45:50.680 --> 0:45:59.640
<v Speaker 1>that's me times two, and he was he was walking

0:45:59.640 --> 0:46:02.680
<v Speaker 1>down the street with a backpack, and he like looked

0:46:02.680 --> 0:46:06.440
<v Speaker 1>at his watch, and I was and I saw him,

0:46:06.480 --> 0:46:08.480
<v Speaker 1>and I was like, look at this guy. This guy's

0:46:08.480 --> 0:46:11.680
<v Speaker 1>double my age walking down the street with a backpack,

0:46:11.800 --> 0:46:14.600
<v Speaker 1>and he's got he's got places to be. He's alive.

0:46:14.680 --> 0:46:18.240
<v Speaker 1>He's not fucking dead. You know, he's he's he's living,

0:46:18.280 --> 0:46:20.799
<v Speaker 1>he's doing it. I don't know what he's on his

0:46:20.840 --> 0:46:26.560
<v Speaker 1>way to. He might be on his way to collapse

0:46:26.719 --> 0:46:31.160
<v Speaker 1>the agricultural industry or something, but he's he's living his life,

0:46:31.200 --> 0:46:34.920
<v Speaker 1>you know, he's he's there. So we're I think we

0:46:35.040 --> 0:46:38.360
<v Speaker 1>still got a lot more time left to you know,

0:46:38.600 --> 0:46:41.120
<v Speaker 1>we can. We can hang out with people our age

0:46:41.239 --> 0:46:45.879
<v Speaker 1>and get high in cars for a good fifty three

0:46:45.920 --> 0:46:46.920
<v Speaker 1>more years probably.

0:46:47.280 --> 0:46:51.080
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it's so funny. My grandpa, he's like, I forgot

0:46:51.080 --> 0:46:52.879
<v Speaker 2>how old he is. He was born in thirty eight.

0:46:53.320 --> 0:46:56.800
<v Speaker 2>I can't do math right now. He cuts his grass

0:46:56.840 --> 0:47:00.359
<v Speaker 2>like every other day because he's so bored and he's

0:47:00.520 --> 0:47:07.080
<v Speaker 2>just out there making his own I guess jobs to

0:47:07.120 --> 0:47:11.759
<v Speaker 2>do by fucking up his house. Like one day he

0:47:11.800 --> 0:47:16.280
<v Speaker 2>went to go clean the inside glass of the oven door,

0:47:17.160 --> 0:47:19.320
<v Speaker 2>the glass that you're not supposed to get in between,

0:47:19.840 --> 0:47:22.879
<v Speaker 2>and he sucked up his whole oven and he made

0:47:22.880 --> 0:47:26.279
<v Speaker 2>a whole new project to install a new one.

0:47:26.880 --> 0:47:30.359
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, he's just bored. But you don't have to live

0:47:30.400 --> 0:47:34.880
<v Speaker 1>that way. Like I think, like like growing up, like

0:47:34.960 --> 0:47:38.840
<v Speaker 1>you say, like when I look up, like my my,

0:47:38.840 --> 0:47:42.880
<v Speaker 1>my dad hasn't been where I don't know. You know

0:47:42.920 --> 0:47:45.040
<v Speaker 1>why I focus on the backpack thing is because I

0:47:45.200 --> 0:47:48.279
<v Speaker 1>just a backpack is just such a A backpack is

0:47:48.320 --> 0:47:51.640
<v Speaker 1>a young man's game. You know. When I saw this

0:47:51.680 --> 0:47:54.120
<v Speaker 1>older guy with a backpack, I was like, that's crazy.

0:47:54.160 --> 0:47:57.319
<v Speaker 1>This is fucking like my what my dad was. My

0:47:57.400 --> 0:48:00.000
<v Speaker 1>dad's in his sixties. He's not walking on the side.

0:48:00.040 --> 0:48:03.320
<v Speaker 1>I'd walk with a backpack, but here's this guys in

0:48:03.360 --> 0:48:06.080
<v Speaker 1>the sixties he's walking. Yeah. I always yeah, right, I

0:48:06.120 --> 0:48:09.680
<v Speaker 1>always imagine like once you pass the I was like,

0:48:09.719 --> 0:48:12.560
<v Speaker 1>once you pass a certain age, it's all briefcases, no backpacks.

0:48:12.960 --> 0:48:14.399
<v Speaker 1>But it's like you can do it. You can, you can,

0:48:14.480 --> 0:48:19.439
<v Speaker 1>you can't. You don't have to age out of the backpack, right.

0:48:19.560 --> 0:48:22.120
<v Speaker 2>It's like like the other day asking my husband like,

0:48:22.200 --> 0:48:26.160
<v Speaker 2>are we like really adults, Like we're twenty nine? We're well,

0:48:26.200 --> 0:48:30.440
<v Speaker 2>I'm twenty nine and homeowners, Like this is like what

0:48:30.520 --> 0:48:35.840
<v Speaker 2>it is to be an adult, Like that's crazy to

0:48:35.960 --> 0:48:39.560
<v Speaker 2>things like when I was a child, my parent is

0:48:39.600 --> 0:48:44.000
<v Speaker 2>twenty nine, Like that's just so crazy. They were so immature, right,

0:48:44.400 --> 0:48:48.080
<v Speaker 2>and they were in charge of people's lives.

0:48:48.239 --> 0:48:50.400
<v Speaker 1>I think you, I think once you get to a

0:48:50.400 --> 0:48:52.960
<v Speaker 1>certain age, you realize that adulthood is somewhat of.

0:48:52.920 --> 0:48:55.359
<v Speaker 2>A myth, anti clematic.

0:48:56.000 --> 0:48:59.600
<v Speaker 1>It's anti climatic. You die not ever knowing the answers

0:48:59.640 --> 0:49:02.640
<v Speaker 1>to any thing. I think. I I think I've determined that.

0:49:04.080 --> 0:49:08.239
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, seriously, it's anti climatic. And people talk it

0:49:08.320 --> 0:49:12.320
<v Speaker 2>up too much, like they need to take take it away.

0:49:13.520 --> 0:49:16.120
<v Speaker 2>I still don't even understand what it is to be

0:49:16.160 --> 0:49:20.200
<v Speaker 2>an adult, Like I don't feel like one, but clearly

0:49:20.239 --> 0:49:22.880
<v Speaker 2>I am one. Maybe it's imposter syndrome.

0:49:22.960 --> 0:49:27.800
<v Speaker 1>I don't know, what's your name again?

0:49:30.000 --> 0:49:31.240
<v Speaker 2>Said you wanted to stop?

0:49:33.640 --> 0:49:39.719
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Erica, Okay. I really enjoyed having this conversation with you.

0:49:39.760 --> 0:49:42.439
<v Speaker 6>This was fun, Yeah, a great same.

0:49:45.719 --> 0:49:47.799
<v Speaker 1>Let's see, is there anything else you want to talk

0:49:47.800 --> 0:49:49.960
<v Speaker 1>about before we go? Or you do? Do you think

0:49:50.000 --> 0:49:54.759
<v Speaker 1>we you think we covered all the bases, we can

0:49:54.880 --> 0:49:55.600
<v Speaker 1>keep on going.

0:49:55.760 --> 0:50:01.200
<v Speaker 2>But I forgot so I have been self isolating, and

0:50:01.360 --> 0:50:04.160
<v Speaker 2>I made plans tonight and I'm gonna keep them and

0:50:04.239 --> 0:50:05.760
<v Speaker 2>actually go instead of cancel.

0:50:06.080 --> 0:50:06.799
<v Speaker 1>Oh please do?

0:50:07.920 --> 0:50:13.959
<v Speaker 2>Yes your plans for callers?

0:50:15.920 --> 0:50:16.840
<v Speaker 1>What are the plans?

0:50:18.160 --> 0:50:21.080
<v Speaker 2>Going to eat Mexican food with?

0:50:21.160 --> 0:50:21.359
<v Speaker 1>Who?

0:50:22.480 --> 0:50:25.400
<v Speaker 2>With a girl from BUMBLEBSF Cool?

0:50:25.920 --> 0:50:28.320
<v Speaker 1>Well, I'm surprised you've been self isolating because you strike

0:50:28.480 --> 0:50:32.160
<v Speaker 1>me as like an extroverted person. If you're like walking

0:50:32.160 --> 0:50:38.640
<v Speaker 1>around the campus trying to talk to people, I'm trying.

0:50:38.360 --> 0:50:41.520
<v Speaker 2>To be extroverted just to help out, you know.

0:50:43.960 --> 0:50:47.440
<v Speaker 1>Well, good, I'm glad you're Yeah, self isolating is bad.

0:50:49.560 --> 0:50:51.240
<v Speaker 2>Yes, already, Well thank.

0:50:51.120 --> 0:50:54.200
<v Speaker 1>You going, we'll drive you insane. You know that guy

0:50:54.239 --> 0:51:02.160
<v Speaker 1>Brian Johnson, No, well, there's like a this is this guy.

0:51:02.320 --> 0:51:05.400
<v Speaker 1>He's trying to live forever. But and the way he

0:51:05.600 --> 0:51:07.480
<v Speaker 1>and the way and I think I heard him say

0:51:07.480 --> 0:51:10.319
<v Speaker 1>some shit like I get at least thirty minutes of

0:51:10.360 --> 0:51:13.960
<v Speaker 1>social social activity every day, Like it's like uh, like

0:51:14.040 --> 0:51:17.360
<v Speaker 1>calculated and shit, you know, it's important to not die.

0:51:19.200 --> 0:51:20.239
<v Speaker 2>He should stream this.

0:51:21.480 --> 0:51:23.640
<v Speaker 1>He probably is. I don't know. I shouldn't. I shouldn't

0:51:23.640 --> 0:51:26.400
<v Speaker 1>even bring him up because I actually don't know anything

0:51:26.440 --> 0:51:29.040
<v Speaker 1>really that much about him. But I hope you enjoy

0:51:29.040 --> 0:51:29.840
<v Speaker 1>your Mexican food.

0:51:30.000 --> 0:51:32.040
<v Speaker 2>Erica, thank you?

0:51:32.600 --> 0:51:34.560
<v Speaker 1>Okay, anything else you want to say to the people

0:51:34.560 --> 0:51:35.279
<v Speaker 1>of the computer.

0:51:35.000 --> 0:51:39.920
<v Speaker 2>Before we go, and keep your plans. Everybody get outside.

0:51:39.840 --> 0:51:46.759
<v Speaker 1>Beautiful, good luck Erica, Thank you, bye bye. I really

0:51:46.800 --> 0:51:51.560
<v Speaker 1>enjoyed talking her. That was nice. That was cool. Keep

0:51:52.680 --> 0:51:57.200
<v Speaker 1>keep keep living life, keep doing things.

0:51:57.960 --> 0:52:02.000
<v Speaker 3>Thanks for calling, man, thanks for picking up. You get

0:52:02.000 --> 0:52:02.879
<v Speaker 3>a chance to read it.

0:52:03.200 --> 0:52:05.520
<v Speaker 1>No, what's your name? What's what's what's up?

0:52:05.800 --> 0:52:08.760
<v Speaker 3>Uh yeah, yeah, okay, I'm gonna go by otter.

0:52:12.080 --> 0:52:12.319
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:52:12.360 --> 0:52:16.719
<v Speaker 3>I haven't prepared anything. Uh but I wanted to call

0:52:16.800 --> 0:52:22.000
<v Speaker 3>in today because my life has been pretty crazy since

0:52:22.520 --> 0:52:27.040
<v Speaker 3>uh you know, maybe the last few years, and some

0:52:27.120 --> 0:52:30.440
<v Speaker 3>of that craziness has helped me kind of like blossom

0:52:30.600 --> 0:52:35.239
<v Speaker 3>as an adult and like my life has ended up

0:52:35.280 --> 0:52:41.360
<v Speaker 3>being pretty good and uh man, but I guess I

0:52:41.400 --> 0:52:49.080
<v Speaker 3>can start so you know my Oh gosh, I'm like

0:52:49.160 --> 0:52:49.920
<v Speaker 3>kind of nervous.

0:52:49.920 --> 0:52:50.120
<v Speaker 5>Man.

0:52:50.239 --> 0:52:53.440
<v Speaker 3>I know there is low stakes and all damn talking

0:52:53.480 --> 0:52:57.560
<v Speaker 3>to the therapy get go. Are you still there?

0:52:57.680 --> 0:53:01.279
<v Speaker 1>It's yeah, talking to the therapy get is about as

0:53:01.320 --> 0:53:03.760
<v Speaker 1>low stakes as it sounds.

0:53:03.960 --> 0:53:09.680
<v Speaker 3>I know, man, So yeah, I you know, growing up,

0:53:10.160 --> 0:53:12.960
<v Speaker 3>you know, Okay, I guess for reference, let me give

0:53:13.000 --> 0:53:17.640
<v Speaker 3>you the two long TLDR. Here. I'm thirty one now,

0:53:18.320 --> 0:53:24.640
<v Speaker 3>and I, you know, very recently just got my life

0:53:24.680 --> 0:53:27.640
<v Speaker 3>together a little bit. I you know, haven't been in

0:53:27.719 --> 0:53:33.439
<v Speaker 3>a lot of relationships. You know, was very shy, and

0:53:34.320 --> 0:53:38.600
<v Speaker 3>you know, I basically lost my virginity at age twenty nine.

0:53:40.320 --> 0:53:45.759
<v Speaker 3>And yeah, yeah, and you know it. I I've moved

0:53:45.760 --> 0:53:49.239
<v Speaker 3>in with girlfriends and I've been with her now for

0:53:49.320 --> 0:53:52.799
<v Speaker 3>over a year. So the thing that kind of led

0:53:52.840 --> 0:53:56.520
<v Speaker 3>me here is so growing up, I was very shy.

0:53:56.680 --> 0:53:58.920
<v Speaker 3>I was like kind of afraid of to talk to women,

0:54:00.000 --> 0:54:03.799
<v Speaker 3>which sounds weird, but like, you know, it was just

0:54:03.800 --> 0:54:07.880
<v Speaker 3>a thing that you know, felt very unnatural to me,

0:54:08.560 --> 0:54:11.560
<v Speaker 3>and I took a lot of practice to kind of,

0:54:11.880 --> 0:54:16.200
<v Speaker 3>you know, do this. And I also worked really intense

0:54:16.320 --> 0:54:19.920
<v Speaker 3>like jobs at startups. I'm like a software engineer, and

0:54:20.040 --> 0:54:23.960
<v Speaker 3>like I was working my ass off, and I really

0:54:23.960 --> 0:54:27.960
<v Speaker 3>didn't have a lot of time to socialize in college

0:54:28.200 --> 0:54:33.839
<v Speaker 3>or when I graduated, and then fucking COVID happened, and

0:54:33.880 --> 0:54:36.359
<v Speaker 3>that was even like fewer opportunities to hang out with

0:54:36.400 --> 0:54:40.800
<v Speaker 3>people and talk, and like, dude, I just like started

0:54:40.800 --> 0:54:45.600
<v Speaker 3>to develop like the worst anxiety and like just kind

0:54:45.640 --> 0:54:51.279
<v Speaker 3>of just feelings of loneliness and you know, spending a

0:54:51.320 --> 0:54:55.160
<v Speaker 3>lot of time alone, I started to develop like really

0:54:55.200 --> 0:55:01.399
<v Speaker 3>bad and Sammie and Ship and and then the real

0:55:01.480 --> 0:55:09.439
<v Speaker 3>kicker is in twenty twenty two. Winter of twenty twenty two,

0:55:10.719 --> 0:55:17.200
<v Speaker 3>my mom was diagnosed with cancer and she ended up

0:55:17.280 --> 0:55:24.759
<v Speaker 3>passing eleven months later. And honestly, it was like the

0:55:24.840 --> 0:55:28.120
<v Speaker 3>hardest thing that I had ever been through. You know,

0:55:28.160 --> 0:55:31.640
<v Speaker 3>I had moved home from COVID, and then while my

0:55:31.680 --> 0:55:35.880
<v Speaker 3>mom was sick, I you know, stayed home and helped

0:55:35.920 --> 0:55:40.200
<v Speaker 3>care for her. So it was just really like not

0:55:40.320 --> 0:55:41.279
<v Speaker 3>a good place, man. I.

0:55:41.440 --> 0:55:42.319
<v Speaker 2>I I.

0:55:44.239 --> 0:55:46.880
<v Speaker 3>Was very alone, and I was dealing with, you know,

0:55:46.920 --> 0:55:50.279
<v Speaker 3>the trauma of caring for this my very sick mother.

0:55:52.000 --> 0:55:58.880
<v Speaker 3>And you know, after she passed, I finally moved, you

0:55:58.880 --> 0:56:01.439
<v Speaker 3>know out of my family's house after like two years

0:56:01.480 --> 0:56:07.880
<v Speaker 3>of living there, and you know, I basically entered a

0:56:07.960 --> 0:56:11.680
<v Speaker 3>very dark depression because you know, I had been very

0:56:11.719 --> 0:56:16.000
<v Speaker 3>reliant on family for those past two years, and I

0:56:16.080 --> 0:56:20.040
<v Speaker 3>ended up moving alone and now I'm like alone with

0:56:20.160 --> 0:56:26.640
<v Speaker 3>four walls around me, and basically, you know, I am

0:56:26.680 --> 0:56:30.920
<v Speaker 3>I'm dealing with all this trauma that I had experienced

0:56:30.960 --> 0:56:37.359
<v Speaker 3>over the last year. I ended up having lots of problems,

0:56:38.360 --> 0:56:41.359
<v Speaker 3>and like maybe a few months into it, like I

0:56:41.480 --> 0:56:43.680
<v Speaker 3>just just like realized, like I don't want to kill

0:56:43.719 --> 0:56:46.160
<v Speaker 3>myself right now, but if I don't do anything, I'm

0:56:46.160 --> 0:56:50.600
<v Speaker 3>probably gonna want to kill myself. So I ended up

0:56:50.760 --> 0:56:53.960
<v Speaker 3>like calling the doctor's office and being like, Hi, I'm

0:56:54.080 --> 0:56:57.880
<v Speaker 3>very depressed and I can't sleep, Please help me. And

0:56:58.000 --> 0:57:00.640
<v Speaker 3>from that I ended up going to like actually therapy,

0:57:01.320 --> 0:57:06.680
<v Speaker 3>uh and I ended up starting on like lexicro and

0:57:05.920 --> 0:57:10.400
<v Speaker 3>uh man, that did a lot for me, you know,

0:57:10.600 --> 0:57:15.320
<v Speaker 3>really just like kind of like overnight, like I started

0:57:15.360 --> 0:57:20.000
<v Speaker 3>to feel a lot better than shit. I you know,

0:57:20.480 --> 0:57:26.160
<v Speaker 3>ended up being able to sleep more, ended up like

0:57:26.840 --> 0:57:29.280
<v Speaker 3>just not feeling like there was a gorilla on my

0:57:29.320 --> 0:57:31.800
<v Speaker 3>back all the time, and I was able to like

0:57:32.320 --> 0:57:36.840
<v Speaker 3>just like start enjoying my life again. And by the way,

0:57:37.000 --> 0:57:39.400
<v Speaker 3>still a virgin at this time. Still dating is out

0:57:39.440 --> 0:57:43.200
<v Speaker 3>of the question. But like you know, I was always

0:57:43.200 --> 0:57:46.120
<v Speaker 3>really big into the gym, and I started taking it

0:57:46.160 --> 0:57:51.240
<v Speaker 3>even more seriously, and like, you know, in a past episode,

0:57:51.280 --> 0:57:54.160
<v Speaker 3>you know, you kept talking about how you don't believe,

0:57:54.680 --> 0:57:56.680
<v Speaker 3>Like I think you corrected yourself, but you were like, oh,

0:57:56.680 --> 0:57:59.800
<v Speaker 3>I don't believe theta of your future self, And like

0:58:00.000 --> 0:58:02.560
<v Speaker 3>when I moved that, I was like, dude, that can't be,

0:58:02.640 --> 0:58:07.080
<v Speaker 3>Like that is so untrue because like, you know, obviously

0:58:07.160 --> 0:58:09.320
<v Speaker 3>what you're doing, you want to be authentic, you know

0:58:09.360 --> 0:58:11.320
<v Speaker 3>what I mean, You want to be authentic to yourself.

0:58:12.040 --> 0:58:15.280
<v Speaker 3>But like, I really think you can be authentic to

0:58:15.320 --> 0:58:17.640
<v Speaker 3>yourself and be like that's the kind of person I

0:58:17.680 --> 0:58:19.760
<v Speaker 3>want to be, and then go out and achieve it,

0:58:19.840 --> 0:58:20.520
<v Speaker 3>you know what I mean?

0:58:20.840 --> 0:58:23.160
<v Speaker 1>You know it's I'm actually I just want to say,

0:58:23.160 --> 0:58:26.160
<v Speaker 1>I'm so glad that you heard me say that and

0:58:27.200 --> 0:58:32.040
<v Speaker 1>vehemently disagreed with it, because well, the I don't I'm

0:58:32.040 --> 0:58:33.840
<v Speaker 1>not going to go on a long philosophical rant because

0:58:33.840 --> 0:58:37.640
<v Speaker 1>I want to let you finish your story. But I

0:58:38.320 --> 0:58:42.920
<v Speaker 1>think in the grand like there's you know what it is,

0:58:43.160 --> 0:58:46.200
<v Speaker 1>there's like lenses through which you can say that there

0:58:46.280 --> 0:58:48.760
<v Speaker 1>is no future self and that time is flat and

0:58:49.080 --> 0:58:51.760
<v Speaker 1>blah blah blah blah, blah whatever, But we don't really

0:58:51.960 --> 0:59:00.600
<v Speaker 1>live in that lens. We live in normal ass human life,

0:59:00.600 --> 0:59:02.920
<v Speaker 1>and in normalized human life. I do agree there is

0:59:02.960 --> 0:59:05.080
<v Speaker 1>a future self. I've come around to the fact that

0:59:05.120 --> 0:59:08.800
<v Speaker 1>there is absolutely a future self. So I'm I'm with

0:59:08.880 --> 0:59:09.320
<v Speaker 1>you on that.

0:59:10.280 --> 0:59:14.840
<v Speaker 3>Okay, okay, yeah, because I don't know. I somehow like

0:59:15.080 --> 0:59:18.200
<v Speaker 3>pulling out of this dark depression and going to the

0:59:18.240 --> 0:59:22.560
<v Speaker 3>gym more and like being more social really led me

0:59:22.600 --> 0:59:25.959
<v Speaker 3>to this like place in my life where I felt

0:59:25.960 --> 0:59:29.760
<v Speaker 3>like I was ready to start like finding someone to like,

0:59:30.560 --> 0:59:34.560
<v Speaker 3>you know, uh, find someone who loves me and I

0:59:34.600 --> 0:59:39.800
<v Speaker 3>love that, you know, and you know, I It was

0:59:39.840 --> 0:59:43.360
<v Speaker 3>really weird, like I went from like basically being like

0:59:43.800 --> 0:59:47.000
<v Speaker 3>my quote unquote old self and then in like one

0:59:47.040 --> 0:59:50.880
<v Speaker 3>week I did this. I went on I went to

0:59:51.000 --> 0:59:53.280
<v Speaker 3>speed dating. Of all things, I went to a speed

0:59:53.360 --> 0:59:57.480
<v Speaker 3>dating event, and at the same time, I also like

0:59:57.600 --> 1:00:00.560
<v Speaker 3>decided to ask the number of this woman at like

1:00:00.640 --> 1:00:04.760
<v Speaker 3>a tropical smoothie cafe who's pretty hot and seemed pretty cool,

1:00:05.520 --> 1:00:09.720
<v Speaker 3>and like both of those like extreme. It's like, you know,

1:00:09.840 --> 1:00:12.800
<v Speaker 3>relatively extreme things for me kind of like busted me

1:00:12.800 --> 1:00:15.240
<v Speaker 3>out of my shell. I downloaded the apps and I

1:00:15.320 --> 1:00:18.560
<v Speaker 3>was like like, I know the apps can be kind

1:00:18.560 --> 1:00:21.520
<v Speaker 3>of shitty, but like what a time to be alive, right,

1:00:21.720 --> 1:00:27.240
<v Speaker 3>Like you can just meet people. And I ended up

1:00:27.320 --> 1:00:30.919
<v Speaker 3>like literally going on at least one date per week

1:00:31.080 --> 1:00:33.800
<v Speaker 3>and usually two dates per week for about three months.

1:00:34.720 --> 1:00:37.640
<v Speaker 3>And like no, and like I don't think I'm a

1:00:37.640 --> 1:00:40.800
<v Speaker 3>particularly good looking guy, but like, you know, if you

1:00:40.880 --> 1:00:45.720
<v Speaker 3>have a good profile and you like you know, you know,

1:00:46.240 --> 1:00:50.400
<v Speaker 3>show other people you give a fuck, you know, shit can.

1:00:50.320 --> 1:00:51.800
<v Speaker 1>Happen, you know, beautiful.

1:00:53.520 --> 1:00:58.080
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and like I ended up finding someone. It didn't

1:00:58.120 --> 1:01:00.000
<v Speaker 3>work out with them for very long. It was like

1:01:00.040 --> 1:01:03.280
<v Speaker 3>a pretty crappy you know, three months, but no, it

1:01:03.320 --> 1:01:05.640
<v Speaker 3>wasn't crappy. It was my first relationship. I ended up

1:01:05.680 --> 1:01:10.680
<v Speaker 3>losing my V card. But yeah, I mean it ended

1:01:10.760 --> 1:01:13.960
<v Speaker 3>up being like the right experience I needed to go

1:01:14.080 --> 1:01:18.200
<v Speaker 3>and find something more serious. But yeah, I mean I've

1:01:18.240 --> 1:01:22.400
<v Speaker 3>been with this lady now for uh well, like you know,

1:01:22.640 --> 1:01:23.880
<v Speaker 3>almost like a year and a half.

1:01:23.920 --> 1:01:24.160
<v Speaker 2>Now.

1:01:24.600 --> 1:01:27.240
<v Speaker 3>I moved with her. Yeah, I moved in with her.

1:01:27.840 --> 1:01:31.080
<v Speaker 3>And like, you know, just as a PSA for anybody,

1:01:31.080 --> 1:01:34.040
<v Speaker 3>you know, if you're ever going through something like incredibly hard,

1:01:34.160 --> 1:01:37.760
<v Speaker 3>like you know, lewising someone you're caring about or you

1:01:37.800 --> 1:01:42.560
<v Speaker 3>know someone who is ill. You know, even if you

1:01:42.600 --> 1:01:46.360
<v Speaker 3>feel like you're you got this gorilla on your back,

1:01:46.440 --> 1:01:52.360
<v Speaker 3>you know you can always life can open up in

1:01:52.440 --> 1:01:55.040
<v Speaker 3>ways that you don't expect, and things can change really

1:01:55.080 --> 1:01:55.840
<v Speaker 3>really fast.

1:01:57.680 --> 1:02:01.640
<v Speaker 1>I love a good I love a good life. That's amazing.

1:02:01.720 --> 1:02:05.640
<v Speaker 1>That's wonderful. Yeah, man, that's so cool. And so you're

1:02:05.960 --> 1:02:07.080
<v Speaker 1>you're thirty one now, right?

1:02:08.160 --> 1:02:08.760
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

1:02:08.880 --> 1:02:14.120
<v Speaker 1>Okay cool? And so I mean, what do you think

1:02:14.160 --> 1:02:14.440
<v Speaker 1>it is?

1:02:14.520 --> 1:02:14.680
<v Speaker 5>Right?

1:02:14.800 --> 1:02:17.160
<v Speaker 1>Was it like the was it like the therapy? Was it?

1:02:17.320 --> 1:02:20.880
<v Speaker 1>The pills? Was it? The combinator? The gym? Was it?

1:02:20.960 --> 1:02:23.720
<v Speaker 1>And an amalagam of a million different things? Like how

1:02:23.760 --> 1:02:25.160
<v Speaker 1>do you how do you explain it?

1:02:25.320 --> 1:02:25.480
<v Speaker 4>You know?

1:02:26.000 --> 1:02:31.520
<v Speaker 3>The way I think about it is, you know, sometimes

1:02:31.520 --> 1:02:33.720
<v Speaker 3>you need to hit kind of like a rock bottom

1:02:34.040 --> 1:02:38.120
<v Speaker 3>in order to climb totally. And like I kind of

1:02:38.160 --> 1:02:41.880
<v Speaker 3>felt that I had hit my own rock bottom and

1:02:42.040 --> 1:02:48.760
<v Speaker 3>like just the suckiness of like losing my mom and

1:02:47.880 --> 1:02:54.040
<v Speaker 3>uh and like you know that time alone after because

1:02:54.120 --> 1:02:56.320
<v Speaker 3>like I had been living at home for two years

1:02:57.040 --> 1:02:59.880
<v Speaker 3>and just like being alone again was just such a

1:03:00.080 --> 1:03:03.880
<v Speaker 3>fucked up saying after like you know, uh, caring for

1:03:03.920 --> 1:03:10.640
<v Speaker 3>my mother and like that rock bottom allowed me to climb,

1:03:11.000 --> 1:03:13.640
<v Speaker 3>and like, honestly, I've been like kind of riding that

1:03:13.760 --> 1:03:16.240
<v Speaker 3>high since and I, you know, like, sure, I still

1:03:16.280 --> 1:03:19.000
<v Speaker 3>have some shitty days. Sure, I like have some dark

1:03:19.080 --> 1:03:24.640
<v Speaker 3>moments here or there, but like, excuse me, you know,

1:03:25.200 --> 1:03:29.440
<v Speaker 3>I still kind of feel like I'm riding that high.

1:03:30.120 --> 1:03:32.920
<v Speaker 1>I I guess you know what's funny is back to

1:03:33.000 --> 1:03:38.640
<v Speaker 1>the conversation about the future self is uh, and is

1:03:38.720 --> 1:03:44.200
<v Speaker 1>like I used to also believe it, yeah again, that

1:03:44.240 --> 1:03:46.960
<v Speaker 1>there was no future self, But I lately have been

1:03:46.960 --> 1:03:49.120
<v Speaker 1>feeling the best I've been feeling in a long time.

1:03:49.840 --> 1:03:52.520
<v Speaker 1>And I always kind of hear that I appreciate you

1:03:52.520 --> 1:03:56.400
<v Speaker 1>saying that, and I always, I always fucking knew I

1:03:56.440 --> 1:03:58.680
<v Speaker 1>would get there. I always knew I would get there.

1:03:58.920 --> 1:04:02.920
<v Speaker 1>And then I would read all the fucking philosophical bullshit

1:04:03.000 --> 1:04:04.600
<v Speaker 1>about how there is no there and there is no

1:04:04.680 --> 1:04:07.480
<v Speaker 1>future self, and I know what it means. I get it,

1:04:08.120 --> 1:04:10.640
<v Speaker 1>and who knows how long we're gonna, you know, be

1:04:10.680 --> 1:04:15.120
<v Speaker 1>feeling like this, But yeah, man, no, I feel my

1:04:15.240 --> 1:04:20.360
<v Speaker 1>life feels very different mentally than it has in the past.

1:04:21.240 --> 1:04:21.360
<v Speaker 3>Uh.

1:04:21.840 --> 1:04:25.320
<v Speaker 1>You know then it did like uh one, two, three,

1:04:25.880 --> 1:04:29.960
<v Speaker 1>four years ago, and I am I am the future self.

1:04:30.120 --> 1:04:34.920
<v Speaker 1>I'm the future self. By definition, it's true, and so

1:04:35.120 --> 1:04:38.200
<v Speaker 1>I don't know. But I don't know. I haven't I

1:04:38.640 --> 1:04:42.960
<v Speaker 1>haven't lived long enough to have asked me again when

1:04:43.000 --> 1:04:45.440
<v Speaker 1>I'm eighty, if I'm lucky enough to make it to eighty,

1:04:46.000 --> 1:04:48.080
<v Speaker 1>if I believe in a future self, or I believe

1:04:48.120 --> 1:04:50.880
<v Speaker 1>in it there, because who knows. I mean, it's a grand,

1:04:50.960 --> 1:04:53.160
<v Speaker 1>crazy roller coaster and you never know what the fuck

1:04:53.520 --> 1:04:57.320
<v Speaker 1>each day could bring. So I don't know, but I'm

1:04:57.360 --> 1:05:02.000
<v Speaker 1>happy for you that you feel good, and yeah, it's great,

1:05:02.360 --> 1:05:05.920
<v Speaker 1>it's great. I don't know. The more the more I

1:05:05.920 --> 1:05:09.280
<v Speaker 1>I live my life and go through ups and downs

1:05:09.280 --> 1:05:10.960
<v Speaker 1>and talk to other people about it, the more I

1:05:11.040 --> 1:05:14.880
<v Speaker 1>just I just don't know. But what do you? Yeah,

1:05:14.920 --> 1:05:16.680
<v Speaker 1>you can ask me whatever you want.

1:05:17.240 --> 1:05:19.240
<v Speaker 3>Uh, sorry, I'm totally changing gears.

1:05:19.600 --> 1:05:19.920
<v Speaker 1>Go ahead.

1:05:21.080 --> 1:05:24.560
<v Speaker 3>I was gonna say, uh, what is your favorite thing

1:05:24.600 --> 1:05:25.640
<v Speaker 3>at Taco Bell right now?

1:05:26.160 --> 1:05:28.600
<v Speaker 1>My favorite thing at Taco Bell right right now. I'm

1:05:28.640 --> 1:05:30.760
<v Speaker 1>trying to avoid Taco Bell, But if I were there

1:05:30.840 --> 1:05:35.240
<v Speaker 1>right now, I would probably just get like a like

1:05:35.280 --> 1:05:38.360
<v Speaker 1>a beef a seven layer beef burrito thing. I think

1:05:38.600 --> 1:05:42.200
<v Speaker 1>that's what it is. I don't know how many layers

1:05:42.200 --> 1:05:47.080
<v Speaker 1>there are exactly, but get like a beef yeah, like

1:05:47.280 --> 1:05:51.840
<v Speaker 1>a little beef burrito, maybe a couple of doritos locos tacos.

1:05:52.280 --> 1:05:55.720
<v Speaker 3>Oh yeah, okay, yeah nice.

1:05:57.320 --> 1:05:58.440
<v Speaker 2>Hm hmmmm.

1:05:58.960 --> 1:06:03.240
<v Speaker 3>I'm glad you're feeling bout or you still feel like

1:06:03.280 --> 1:06:06.120
<v Speaker 3>you're in that existential mode or have you.

1:06:06.800 --> 1:06:08.640
<v Speaker 1>It comes in and out, but it's I'm I'm I'm

1:06:08.680 --> 1:06:10.160
<v Speaker 1>out of it. I'm out of it and I feel

1:06:10.440 --> 1:06:14.120
<v Speaker 1>better than you have. Hell yeah, part of it was

1:06:15.720 --> 1:06:20.680
<v Speaker 1>uh yeah, uh taking pills and a lot of I

1:06:20.680 --> 1:06:22.400
<v Speaker 1>don't I mean, it's a lot of stuff. It's really

1:06:22.400 --> 1:06:25.800
<v Speaker 1>a lot of stuff. But m yeah, I mean it's

1:06:25.800 --> 1:06:27.760
<v Speaker 1>it's been great. So we're just a couple. We're just

1:06:27.800 --> 1:06:31.200
<v Speaker 1>a couple of a couple of dudes living their best

1:06:31.640 --> 1:06:34.600
<v Speaker 1>livest or are you excited about the future? Do you

1:06:34.640 --> 1:06:36.360
<v Speaker 1>have plans?

1:06:37.240 --> 1:06:37.480
<v Speaker 2>You know?

1:06:37.960 --> 1:06:41.200
<v Speaker 3>I I am excited about the future. I don't really

1:06:41.280 --> 1:06:44.880
<v Speaker 3>have like plans per se. I mean, hopefully I can

1:06:44.920 --> 1:06:49.840
<v Speaker 3>marry this lady. I mean I'd like to have a

1:06:49.880 --> 1:06:54.800
<v Speaker 3>family one day. Yeah, and like I don't feel like

1:06:55.400 --> 1:06:58.600
<v Speaker 3>particularly rushed to do that, Like I don't know, I'm

1:06:58.680 --> 1:07:00.800
<v Speaker 3>thirty one, so like I don't want my wait forever.

1:07:00.960 --> 1:07:05.720
<v Speaker 3>But like you know, maybe in the next three to

1:07:05.840 --> 1:07:11.240
<v Speaker 3>five years sounds good to me. Cool, but yeah, I

1:07:11.240 --> 1:07:13.480
<v Speaker 3>mean I am a lot more excited about the future.

1:07:13.880 --> 1:07:19.920
<v Speaker 3>Like I don't know, like before I was able to

1:07:20.080 --> 1:07:24.360
<v Speaker 3>like date and like talk to women and like still

1:07:24.400 --> 1:07:27.000
<v Speaker 3>hadn't lost my v card. I kind of always have

1:07:27.200 --> 1:07:30.640
<v Speaker 3>this like nagging thrab inside of me that like, oh god,

1:07:30.720 --> 1:07:33.320
<v Speaker 3>that's just that's something I got to figure out. And like,

1:07:33.760 --> 1:07:38.400
<v Speaker 3>I definitely feel like I've cracked that nut now and

1:07:38.480 --> 1:07:42.520
<v Speaker 3>I just like, you know, I just feel like an

1:07:42.600 --> 1:07:45.400
<v Speaker 3>eternal sense of like relief.

1:07:46.640 --> 1:07:50.640
<v Speaker 1>About wonderful. Yeah, that's great, that's great, And I really

1:07:50.680 --> 1:07:52.760
<v Speaker 1>genuinely I appreciate you sharing this because I know there's

1:07:52.760 --> 1:07:59.000
<v Speaker 1>a lot of people who, you know, have had struggles

1:07:59.040 --> 1:08:01.360
<v Speaker 1>in that department for what they believed to be an

1:08:01.400 --> 1:08:05.120
<v Speaker 1>embarrassingly long amount of time. And uh, I think for

1:08:05.240 --> 1:08:08.360
<v Speaker 1>someone to be able to hear your story and be like, well,

1:08:08.400 --> 1:08:11.280
<v Speaker 1>you know, there's a light at the end of the

1:08:11.320 --> 1:08:15.080
<v Speaker 1>tunnel for me, even if I've been feeling a certain

1:08:15.080 --> 1:08:17.840
<v Speaker 1>way about myself for for my whole life, I mean,

1:08:17.840 --> 1:08:20.280
<v Speaker 1>I think that's that's great. I love a story like that.

1:08:21.360 --> 1:08:24.600
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, And like, oh man, I hope I like I

1:08:24.640 --> 1:08:27.679
<v Speaker 3>don't sound like one of those like fucking black pilled

1:08:28.080 --> 1:08:29.960
<v Speaker 3>in cell people, because I'm.

1:08:29.680 --> 1:08:34.840
<v Speaker 1>Like, you're the opposite of the black pills you think I'm.

1:08:36.400 --> 1:08:40.280
<v Speaker 3>I mean, well, I was gonna say, like, yeah, I

1:08:40.280 --> 1:08:42.519
<v Speaker 3>couldn't get any pussy, but like I knew, deep down

1:08:42.520 --> 1:08:44.320
<v Speaker 3>it was my fault, you know what I mean. I

1:08:44.360 --> 1:08:48.280
<v Speaker 3>knew there was like my doing and not like you know,

1:08:49.240 --> 1:08:51.240
<v Speaker 3>you know the rest of the world around me. It

1:08:51.280 --> 1:08:53.519
<v Speaker 3>was it was my own thing.

1:08:54.400 --> 1:08:59.240
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, well, well you're you're you're the opposite of black pill,

1:08:59.320 --> 1:09:04.160
<v Speaker 1>because the black pill is the complete, I mean, the

1:09:04.200 --> 1:09:08.559
<v Speaker 1>black pill's death. It's complete succession of any glimmer of

1:09:08.720 --> 1:09:14.040
<v Speaker 1>hope that there is any agency left or any hope

1:09:14.120 --> 1:09:19.720
<v Speaker 1>left for you in your life, and you're the opposite.

1:09:19.760 --> 1:09:24.080
<v Speaker 1>You're continuing to push forward, like like if you like,

1:09:24.320 --> 1:09:28.240
<v Speaker 1>if you're you know, whatever, if you're not good with

1:09:28.880 --> 1:09:31.880
<v Speaker 1>talking to women or or even really anything about your

1:09:31.880 --> 1:09:35.599
<v Speaker 1>life that you're unsatisfied with, but you're kind of like, uh,

1:09:36.360 --> 1:09:40.439
<v Speaker 1>fighting making progress or even just fighting even just holding

1:09:40.439 --> 1:09:46.200
<v Speaker 1>onto some hope that some things will are are are malleable,

1:09:46.320 --> 1:09:49.760
<v Speaker 1>and that you're you're able to change and that a

1:09:49.840 --> 1:09:52.960
<v Speaker 1>future self exists. Then yeah, you're out of the the

1:09:52.960 --> 1:09:55.120
<v Speaker 1>black pilt. The black pill is again a complete what

1:09:55.240 --> 1:09:57.640
<v Speaker 1>because I I don't know, I've been I've been on

1:09:57.720 --> 1:10:01.840
<v Speaker 1>a I've been just thinking about this myself and like

1:10:01.880 --> 1:10:06.479
<v Speaker 1>talking to friends about it of like the internal being

1:10:06.520 --> 1:10:12.040
<v Speaker 1>a reflection of the external, and I don't it's not

1:10:12.120 --> 1:10:14.800
<v Speaker 1>a complete theory, but I think there is a lot

1:10:14.840 --> 1:10:18.599
<v Speaker 1>of truth to it, because like if you're on man,

1:10:18.680 --> 1:10:22.920
<v Speaker 1>if you're on Reddit and you're like talking about how

1:10:22.960 --> 1:10:25.680
<v Speaker 1>you suck and you're horrible, and you know you have

1:10:25.840 --> 1:10:29.479
<v Speaker 1>this thing and that thing happened to you, and you

1:10:30.320 --> 1:10:34.360
<v Speaker 1>have this thing about you or your life for the

1:10:34.360 --> 1:10:36.200
<v Speaker 1>world that makes it so that you're never be happy,

1:10:36.200 --> 1:10:39.880
<v Speaker 1>then it just becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. I think, yeah,

1:10:40.960 --> 1:10:43.320
<v Speaker 1>And even look, man, because that's the thing, right, even

1:10:43.360 --> 1:10:46.880
<v Speaker 1>if you're like twenty nine and a virgin, if you

1:10:47.000 --> 1:10:50.120
<v Speaker 1>have the fucking right because you're twenty when you're twenty

1:10:50.160 --> 1:10:53.360
<v Speaker 1>nine and you're a virgin, and you have the thing

1:10:53.920 --> 1:10:59.360
<v Speaker 1>to be like, hey, look, I believe if I put

1:10:59.360 --> 1:11:02.479
<v Speaker 1>myself out on the dating apps and I put together

1:11:02.600 --> 1:11:08.840
<v Speaker 1>a presentable digital version of myself and I learn how

1:11:08.880 --> 1:11:10.760
<v Speaker 1>to talk to people, and I believe you know, look,

1:11:10.800 --> 1:11:15.360
<v Speaker 1>it's I have twenty nine years of pretty bad data.

1:11:15.439 --> 1:11:18.280
<v Speaker 1>You know, I have twenty nine years of data that's

1:11:18.400 --> 1:11:23.120
<v Speaker 1>telling me. I have twenty nine years of data that

1:11:23.200 --> 1:11:27.080
<v Speaker 1>I could easily interpret to mean that I suck and

1:11:27.120 --> 1:11:30.400
<v Speaker 1>I'm never gonna find happiness. And that's the easy thing

1:11:30.479 --> 1:11:32.320
<v Speaker 1>to do with that twenty nine years of data. But

1:11:32.479 --> 1:11:34.519
<v Speaker 1>to take that twenty nine years of data and go, Okay,

1:11:34.560 --> 1:11:38.240
<v Speaker 1>that's what that was, but doesn't have to be what

1:11:38.439 --> 1:11:42.040
<v Speaker 1>is forever. And then because you have that internal belief,

1:11:42.080 --> 1:11:46.799
<v Speaker 1>you take the external action of going on the fucking

1:11:46.880 --> 1:11:49.479
<v Speaker 1>dates and putting yourself out there. You're like, you don't

1:11:49.479 --> 1:11:51.880
<v Speaker 1>have you're right, because if you believe that nothing good

1:11:51.880 --> 1:11:54.600
<v Speaker 1>would ever happen, you'd take no shots, you know what

1:11:54.640 --> 1:11:57.479
<v Speaker 1>I mean? And so because you it's so because you

1:11:57.520 --> 1:12:00.600
<v Speaker 1>believe you took the shots and things worked out you. So,

1:12:00.680 --> 1:12:04.439
<v Speaker 1>I don't know if I believe necessarily that, like I mean, actually,

1:12:04.479 --> 1:12:05.920
<v Speaker 1>you know what, fuck it, I kind of do believe that,

1:12:06.000 --> 1:12:09.160
<v Speaker 1>like in like manifestation in a sense of like what

1:12:09.200 --> 1:12:13.080
<v Speaker 1>you believe about like like you're I like, dude, I

1:12:13.120 --> 1:12:15.320
<v Speaker 1>hate I hate saying it because it just sounds so

1:12:15.680 --> 1:12:19.639
<v Speaker 1>like it when woo when it sound, dude, it sounds

1:12:19.680 --> 1:12:22.840
<v Speaker 1>woo woo, but it's like so logical when you break

1:12:22.880 --> 1:12:27.760
<v Speaker 1>it down, it sounds it sounds like a business success.

1:12:28.120 --> 1:12:32.000
<v Speaker 1>Instagram picture of the sky. Your only limit is your imagination.

1:12:32.400 --> 1:12:35.080
<v Speaker 1>But when you but when you but no, no, but

1:12:35.080 --> 1:12:38.880
<v Speaker 1>but but when you think about it, it's it's right,

1:12:39.200 --> 1:12:43.000
<v Speaker 1>it's logical. Your brain, how you think about the world

1:12:43.120 --> 1:12:47.240
<v Speaker 1>affects how you make how you act within it, and

1:12:47.280 --> 1:12:50.560
<v Speaker 1>then how you act within it is affects your external reality.

1:12:50.720 --> 1:12:53.920
<v Speaker 1>So it makes logical sense. It's not just like some

1:12:53.920 --> 1:12:55.120
<v Speaker 1>some wooo bullshit.

1:12:56.120 --> 1:12:59.439
<v Speaker 3>And even if it feels like extremely unnatural at first

1:12:59.520 --> 1:13:03.679
<v Speaker 3>to go and be that unnaturally positive and like believe

1:13:03.760 --> 1:13:08.880
<v Speaker 3>these things like it comes with time, you know what

1:13:08.880 --> 1:13:12.160
<v Speaker 3>I mean. And like I don't think that's necessarily being

1:13:12.240 --> 1:13:15.280
<v Speaker 3>like not authentic or being like a douchebag or not no,

1:13:15.360 --> 1:13:21.000
<v Speaker 3>not like it's it's very much like you know, having hope,

1:13:21.439 --> 1:13:22.880
<v Speaker 3>having hope in the system, you know.

1:13:24.840 --> 1:13:28.120
<v Speaker 1>Also especially with something like especially with something like dating

1:13:28.240 --> 1:13:33.040
<v Speaker 1>right where it's like you only need one you know,

1:13:33.880 --> 1:13:36.200
<v Speaker 1>like because look, right, if you're like five to two

1:13:37.320 --> 1:13:40.559
<v Speaker 1>and you're like and if you're five, if you're on Reddit,

1:13:40.640 --> 1:13:42.920
<v Speaker 1>and you're five to two and you're like, most women

1:13:43.160 --> 1:13:46.800
<v Speaker 1>don't want to date a five to two guy. You're

1:13:46.920 --> 1:13:51.880
<v Speaker 1>here's a you're right, but that does you're right, But

1:13:51.920 --> 1:13:56.000
<v Speaker 1>that doesn't mean that you're never going to be able

1:13:56.040 --> 1:13:58.599
<v Speaker 1>to find someone, you know what I mean, because you don't.

1:13:58.800 --> 1:14:02.240
<v Speaker 1>You don't mean most women or most You don't need

1:14:02.320 --> 1:14:05.799
<v Speaker 1>most people in any situation, in any situation in life.

1:14:05.960 --> 1:14:08.479
<v Speaker 1>You don't need most people to do anything. And in

1:14:08.479 --> 1:14:12.000
<v Speaker 1>this particular situation, you only need one of the eighty

1:14:12.240 --> 1:14:14.280
<v Speaker 1>the inch of the infinite of them.

1:14:14.280 --> 1:14:17.559
<v Speaker 3>You know, And like everybody's got something that isn't like

1:14:17.920 --> 1:14:22.479
<v Speaker 3>traditionally attractive, you know what I mean, like everybody, and

1:14:22.600 --> 1:14:24.960
<v Speaker 3>like at the end of the day, it's all about

1:14:25.200 --> 1:14:29.639
<v Speaker 3>just like you know, taking care of yourself, making other

1:14:29.680 --> 1:14:33.559
<v Speaker 3>people feel special, like being confident, and that's it.

1:14:34.520 --> 1:14:35.679
<v Speaker 1>What's your name again, Otter?

1:14:36.920 --> 1:14:39.360
<v Speaker 3>Otter? Yeah, I'm going by Otter. I go by sneaky

1:14:39.439 --> 1:14:42.880
<v Speaker 3>otter sometimes sneaky Otter.

1:14:44.080 --> 1:14:47.720
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, sneaky otter. Well thanks for sharing this with this

1:14:47.920 --> 1:14:49.960
<v Speaker 1>sneaky outter. I'm very I love I like I said,

1:14:50.000 --> 1:14:53.679
<v Speaker 1>I love. I love a good story of turning it around.

1:14:54.120 --> 1:14:57.240
<v Speaker 1>That's my favorite thing. So I appreciate you sharing that is.

1:14:57.400 --> 1:14:58.519
<v Speaker 1>Is there anything else you want to say to the

1:14:58.560 --> 1:14:59.920
<v Speaker 1>people of the computer before we go?

1:15:01.040 --> 1:15:03.840
<v Speaker 3>Uh pus stored in the Balls Rock and Roll later

1:15:03.920 --> 1:15:05.519
<v Speaker 3>on Man Alive.

1:15:08.200 --> 1:15:09.680
<v Speaker 1>I feel like I've had to I feel like I've

1:15:09.720 --> 1:15:13.200
<v Speaker 1>talked about this bullshit on my podcast a lot. But like, yeah,

1:15:13.240 --> 1:15:19.479
<v Speaker 1>I do. I do believe in the sense that the

1:15:19.479 --> 1:15:22.439
<v Speaker 1>the internal is the reflection of the external. And that's

1:15:22.520 --> 1:15:28.880
<v Speaker 1>not a again, it's not a rejection of empirical fact,

1:15:29.120 --> 1:15:36.920
<v Speaker 1>you know what I mean? Because I like, how do

1:15:36.960 --> 1:15:42.240
<v Speaker 1>I like if you like a lot like people being like, oh,

1:15:42.280 --> 1:15:45.000
<v Speaker 1>people only care about looks, and it's like, yes, that's true,

1:15:46.160 --> 1:15:51.479
<v Speaker 1>but it doesn't You're you're using how do I say this,

1:15:53.240 --> 1:15:57.839
<v Speaker 1>You're looking at the data in the least favorable There's

1:15:58.200 --> 1:16:04.560
<v Speaker 1>every every data set that that you can look at

1:16:05.320 --> 1:16:12.360
<v Speaker 1>you can find a positive interpretation of it. I think

1:16:13.200 --> 1:16:16.840
<v Speaker 1>maybe not every data set, maybe not one about uh,

1:16:17.560 --> 1:16:21.559
<v Speaker 1>maybe not every data set. Okay, I'm gonna stop talking.

1:16:21.760 --> 1:16:27.880
<v Speaker 1>That's I'm gonna stop talking. Hello. Hello, Hey, what's your name? Hello?

1:16:30.040 --> 1:16:30.479
<v Speaker 6>Hello?

1:16:31.240 --> 1:16:35.320
<v Speaker 1>Hi, Hi, what's your name? My name is Chris, Chris,

1:16:36.400 --> 1:16:38.920
<v Speaker 1>what's up, Chris?

1:16:38.960 --> 1:16:41.799
<v Speaker 6>Not much? I'm going to a basement show tonight.

1:16:42.400 --> 1:16:43.559
<v Speaker 1>Ooh who you seeing?

1:16:45.439 --> 1:16:46.080
<v Speaker 2>Uh?

1:16:46.120 --> 1:16:47.760
<v Speaker 6>I don't know. I live in like kind of like

1:16:47.880 --> 1:16:51.240
<v Speaker 6>butt fuck, not quite butt fuck nowhere Wisconsin. There's like

1:16:51.800 --> 1:16:55.040
<v Speaker 6>forty thousand some or no, there's like seventy some seventy

1:16:55.040 --> 1:16:58.439
<v Speaker 6>thousand people in my town. So like it's kind of

1:16:58.520 --> 1:17:00.519
<v Speaker 6>just like bands from Wisconsin the area.

1:17:01.280 --> 1:17:05.200
<v Speaker 1>That sounds awesome. I love that shit. How are you like?

1:17:06.000 --> 1:17:06.759
<v Speaker 1>Do you play music?

1:17:09.120 --> 1:17:11.439
<v Speaker 6>No? Not myself. I mean I did like band in

1:17:11.560 --> 1:17:12.120
<v Speaker 6>high school.

1:17:12.240 --> 1:17:19.240
<v Speaker 1>But do you No, I don't, but I love I

1:17:19.320 --> 1:17:21.280
<v Speaker 1>like that kind of I love what do you? What

1:17:21.360 --> 1:17:22.680
<v Speaker 1>is it like ten dollars to get in?

1:17:24.080 --> 1:17:25.160
<v Speaker 6>It's like five bucks here?

1:17:25.400 --> 1:17:25.599
<v Speaker 5>Oh?

1:17:26.040 --> 1:17:29.880
<v Speaker 1>Are you gonna have fun? Is it like at someone's house? Yeah?

1:17:30.080 --> 1:17:35.439
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, it's called uh maybe some people like recognize this.

1:17:35.600 --> 1:17:39.960
<v Speaker 6>It's called Graham Jams. This is an oh Claire, Wisconsin.

1:17:40.200 --> 1:17:43.519
<v Speaker 1>Oh Claire, Wisconsin. Graham Jams. That sounds fucking cool. How'd

1:17:43.560 --> 1:17:46.559
<v Speaker 1>you is your first time going? Yeah?

1:17:46.680 --> 1:17:48.479
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, I had a buddy. You told me about it,

1:17:48.520 --> 1:17:51.040
<v Speaker 6>and I've always been busy with like work in school

1:17:51.040 --> 1:17:54.639
<v Speaker 6>and stuff. Uh, but now now I got the time.

1:17:55.560 --> 1:17:58.120
<v Speaker 1>Cool? Are you Are you going with your buddy? You're

1:17:58.120 --> 1:17:58.599
<v Speaker 1>going alone?

1:18:00.120 --> 1:18:02.599
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, I'm going with that buddy. I'm gonna meet him there,

1:18:02.640 --> 1:18:05.920
<v Speaker 6>and then I have somebody from work coming to join me,

1:18:05.960 --> 1:18:07.200
<v Speaker 6>too cool.

1:18:07.920 --> 1:18:08.960
<v Speaker 1>Are you still in school?

1:18:10.640 --> 1:18:10.920
<v Speaker 3>Yeah?

1:18:11.080 --> 1:18:14.400
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, has that going going for a psychology?

1:18:15.120 --> 1:18:22.439
<v Speaker 1>Oh that'll be fun, that'll be fun. Well are you

1:18:22.520 --> 1:18:25.920
<v Speaker 1>trying to be Are you trying to be a therapist? Yeah?

1:18:26.000 --> 1:18:28.240
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, I mean I talked. I talked to you about this,

1:18:28.439 --> 1:18:30.040
<v Speaker 6>like I don't know, maybe like a month ago.

1:18:30.160 --> 1:18:32.920
<v Speaker 1>Actually, oh you are we called? You talked to me already.

1:18:34.800 --> 1:18:38.160
<v Speaker 6>Yeah. Yeah, you just give me if you want, well.

1:18:38.120 --> 1:18:40.519
<v Speaker 1>Hold on, hold on, all right, hold on. You have

1:18:40.600 --> 1:18:41.679
<v Speaker 1>some well you're.

1:18:43.439 --> 1:18:45.840
<v Speaker 6>You're like, oh I talk give me the next guy.

1:18:47.400 --> 1:18:51.320
<v Speaker 1>You have some confidence in yourself. Chris, goddamn, what did

1:18:51.320 --> 1:18:52.759
<v Speaker 1>we talk about? When did we talk?

1:18:54.200 --> 1:18:54.320
<v Speaker 3>Uh?

1:18:54.720 --> 1:18:57.400
<v Speaker 6>I don't remember. I like, well, I don't remember much

1:18:57.439 --> 1:19:01.680
<v Speaker 6>of it. I remember, like I remember like asking you.

1:19:01.800 --> 1:19:04.519
<v Speaker 6>I was like, I was like, when was the last

1:19:04.520 --> 1:19:06.600
<v Speaker 6>time you had sex? And You're like, when was the

1:19:06.640 --> 1:19:08.000
<v Speaker 6>last time you had sex?

1:19:08.080 --> 1:19:08.400
<v Speaker 1>Collar?

1:19:10.160 --> 1:19:11.920
<v Speaker 6>That's like that's the one thing I remember.

1:19:17.800 --> 1:19:20.400
<v Speaker 1>Okay, Well, why'd you call in again?

1:19:22.920 --> 1:19:23.360
<v Speaker 2>Uh?

1:19:24.160 --> 1:19:25.680
<v Speaker 6>I just thought you were doing it, you know.

1:19:26.560 --> 1:19:30.040
<v Speaker 1>Okay, what do you want to do with the what

1:19:30.040 --> 1:19:31.200
<v Speaker 1>do you want to do with the time we have

1:19:31.280 --> 1:19:32.240
<v Speaker 1>left on this phone call.

1:19:34.000 --> 1:19:36.160
<v Speaker 6>Fuck, I don't know, man, I just wanted to tell

1:19:36.160 --> 1:19:38.080
<v Speaker 6>you about that. I thought you'd think it was cool.

1:19:39.080 --> 1:19:43.920
<v Speaker 1>It was like and and and Chris. Huh, you were right.

1:19:44.200 --> 1:19:46.080
<v Speaker 1>I do think it's cool. I think it's very cool.

1:19:46.200 --> 1:19:46.960
<v Speaker 1>I like that ship.

1:19:48.560 --> 1:19:53.400
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, man, yeah, I had Uh. I just did ah

1:19:53.800 --> 1:19:57.080
<v Speaker 6>fucking two week army training. Dude, I shot like machine

1:19:57.120 --> 1:19:57.840
<v Speaker 6>guns and ship.

1:19:58.479 --> 1:20:00.080
<v Speaker 1>Are you going into the army?

1:20:00.760 --> 1:20:03.000
<v Speaker 6>I already am in the army? I do like National

1:20:03.000 --> 1:20:05.200
<v Speaker 6>Guard like a weekend a month's type shit.

1:20:06.760 --> 1:20:11.040
<v Speaker 1>Wow, yeah, man, damn do you think you're gonna have yeah?

1:20:11.120 --> 1:20:11.240
<v Speaker 3>Right?

1:20:11.280 --> 1:20:12.080
<v Speaker 1>Do you think you're gonna have.

1:20:12.000 --> 1:20:14.080
<v Speaker 6>To go to nup the machine gun on top of

1:20:14.120 --> 1:20:18.160
<v Speaker 6>the truck, drive that shit around, shoot ship, you know,

1:20:18.360 --> 1:20:22.639
<v Speaker 6>like shoot buildings, shoot fucking targets, blow shit up.

1:20:23.760 --> 1:20:25.400
<v Speaker 1>Where did they do this? This must be in like

1:20:25.479 --> 1:20:27.560
<v Speaker 1>a remote area.

1:20:28.280 --> 1:20:28.599
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

1:20:28.640 --> 1:20:32.240
<v Speaker 6>So I'm not gonna name like the installation that I

1:20:32.439 --> 1:20:36.200
<v Speaker 6>do it on, but ninety percent of like army and

1:20:36.320 --> 1:20:40.000
<v Speaker 6>like Air Force installations and forts camps whatever, they have

1:20:40.200 --> 1:20:44.000
<v Speaker 6>like huge spaces of like woods and like shooting ranges

1:20:44.040 --> 1:20:46.679
<v Speaker 6>and stuff to do that shit cool?

1:20:47.200 --> 1:20:49.280
<v Speaker 1>What did you did it make? You feel powerful to

1:20:49.400 --> 1:20:51.679
<v Speaker 1>shoot a machine gun from the top of a truck.

1:20:53.040 --> 1:20:55.720
<v Speaker 6>Okay, the dog shit part of the army, right, Like

1:20:55.760 --> 1:20:57.880
<v Speaker 6>most people go in there, like, dude, shooting machine guns

1:20:57.960 --> 1:20:59.920
<v Speaker 6>is gonna be so fucking fun. But the army like

1:21:00.160 --> 1:21:08.200
<v Speaker 6>sucks all the enjoyment out of it. How Like, Okay,

1:21:08.360 --> 1:21:11.760
<v Speaker 6>So there's so many people that have to go right,

1:21:12.960 --> 1:21:17.639
<v Speaker 6>and it's always planned. The army plans nothing well at all,

1:21:17.760 --> 1:21:22.240
<v Speaker 6>dog like. So you're sitting there just waiting all fucking

1:21:22.280 --> 1:21:24.360
<v Speaker 6>day to shoot, and by the time you get out there,

1:21:24.840 --> 1:21:28.200
<v Speaker 6>it's so late, you're so tired, it's so fucking hot

1:21:28.280 --> 1:21:31.360
<v Speaker 6>at you know, and there's so much like shit you

1:21:31.479 --> 1:21:34.760
<v Speaker 6>gotta do for to be like safe, like compared to

1:21:35.080 --> 1:21:37.120
<v Speaker 6>like if I were to just like shoot a machine

1:21:37.120 --> 1:21:40.680
<v Speaker 6>gun like you know, in the in the woods like

1:21:40.720 --> 1:21:43.120
<v Speaker 6>in the country or some shit, it's so much worse.

1:21:43.640 --> 1:21:45.400
<v Speaker 6>Plus you have to well it's not even like you're

1:21:45.400 --> 1:21:48.519
<v Speaker 6>just shooting it to like practice. It's like you have

1:21:48.600 --> 1:21:52.920
<v Speaker 6>to shoot this many targets this fast. It fucking sucks. Man.

1:21:54.720 --> 1:22:00.280
<v Speaker 1>Huh, Well, I don't you know, Chris, honestly, to give

1:22:00.280 --> 1:22:04.000
<v Speaker 1>you a counterpoint, I don't think shooting a gun should

1:22:04.080 --> 1:22:04.960
<v Speaker 1>be that fun.

1:22:07.320 --> 1:22:11.160
<v Speaker 6>What do you mean, man, you you don't want to like, well,

1:22:11.200 --> 1:22:13.760
<v Speaker 6>you're gonna be drafted to go to Iran here in

1:22:13.840 --> 1:22:14.280
<v Speaker 6>like a week.

1:22:14.600 --> 1:22:17.560
<v Speaker 1>They're not gonna hold on, hold, they're not gonna draft me.

1:22:18.160 --> 1:22:22.320
<v Speaker 1>They're not gonna. I promise you, I will dodge that draft.

1:22:23.240 --> 1:22:24.679
<v Speaker 1>I promise you.

1:22:24.680 --> 1:22:26.840
<v Speaker 6>You could just say you're you can just say you're tran.

1:22:27.080 --> 1:22:27.760
<v Speaker 6>It's pretty good.

1:22:28.200 --> 1:22:29.880
<v Speaker 1>Oh I don't even have to do that. I'll just

1:22:29.920 --> 1:22:31.720
<v Speaker 1>show them my blood work and they'll be like, you

1:22:31.760 --> 1:22:34.800
<v Speaker 1>eat too much cotton candy for us to send you,

1:22:35.120 --> 1:22:36.400
<v Speaker 1>uh to the Middle East.

1:22:37.520 --> 1:22:40.320
<v Speaker 6>No, man, trust me. They have like cut down the

1:22:40.360 --> 1:22:45.240
<v Speaker 6>restrictions on like uh weight and health stuff so much

1:22:45.840 --> 1:22:47.880
<v Speaker 6>that they don't give a fuck about that. Really you

1:22:47.920 --> 1:22:51.720
<v Speaker 6>have to be like very unhealthy, like extraordinarily.

1:22:54.000 --> 1:22:56.360
<v Speaker 1>But I don't know, I feel like they're looking for

1:22:56.439 --> 1:22:59.920
<v Speaker 1>like young young boys. I'm like they're looking for like

1:23:00.000 --> 1:23:01.360
<v Speaker 1>eighteen year olds.

1:23:01.800 --> 1:23:04.080
<v Speaker 6>I think it's up to like thirty. I think the

1:23:04.160 --> 1:23:08.160
<v Speaker 6>draft goes up to like fucking thirty or some shit.

1:23:08.640 --> 1:23:09.840
<v Speaker 1>Do you think we're gonna do that? You think we're

1:23:09.840 --> 1:23:12.639
<v Speaker 1>gonna do it like we're gonna do like a whole draft.

1:23:13.040 --> 1:23:15.000
<v Speaker 6>No, No, I don't even think there's going to be

1:23:15.080 --> 1:23:18.680
<v Speaker 6>like a war, but like, you know, next Therapy Get

1:23:18.720 --> 1:23:22.360
<v Speaker 6>Go podcast is gonna be hosted from a POW camp

1:23:22.400 --> 1:23:25.439
<v Speaker 6>and outside of tront.

1:23:25.120 --> 1:23:28.000
<v Speaker 1>That would be crazy if that's if I transitioned into

1:23:28.680 --> 1:23:30.200
<v Speaker 1>covering wars.

1:23:31.200 --> 1:23:33.559
<v Speaker 6>No, you would be you would be a prisoner and

1:23:33.600 --> 1:23:36.600
<v Speaker 6>said POW camp. You know, oh shit, like you know

1:23:36.720 --> 1:23:39.160
<v Speaker 6>you're how you like went to Mexico and shit, you

1:23:39.320 --> 1:23:43.479
<v Speaker 6>like interview people on the streets, like interview other prisoners

1:23:43.520 --> 1:23:44.120
<v Speaker 6>of war.

1:23:45.800 --> 1:23:52.559
<v Speaker 1>Being a gecko, being a gecko at a POW camp. Yeah,

1:23:53.040 --> 1:23:54.000
<v Speaker 1>you know what's funny is.

1:23:54.000 --> 1:23:56.280
<v Speaker 6>Uh geto during like World War two or something.

1:23:57.439 --> 1:24:03.120
<v Speaker 1>I live in such childlike I live in such childlike

1:24:03.320 --> 1:24:06.280
<v Speaker 1>naivete because when I think of POW I think of

1:24:06.360 --> 1:24:13.720
<v Speaker 1>the block from Mario more so than a prisoner of

1:24:13.760 --> 1:24:14.400
<v Speaker 1>war camp.

1:24:16.640 --> 1:24:22.360
<v Speaker 6>Yeah. Yeah, no, that's that's totally fair. I often think

1:24:22.400 --> 1:24:26.240
<v Speaker 6>in fucking video game and TikTok terminology, you can't say

1:24:26.240 --> 1:24:28.920
<v Speaker 6>shit to me without me making a TikTok reference.

1:24:29.400 --> 1:24:31.240
<v Speaker 1>You know, I know I said earlier that shooting a

1:24:31.280 --> 1:24:34.920
<v Speaker 1>gun shouldn't be fun, but the most fun video games

1:24:34.920 --> 1:24:37.640
<v Speaker 1>on the planet are about killing people with guns, and

1:24:37.640 --> 1:24:41.680
<v Speaker 1>they're extremely fun. So by doing it in But you know,

1:24:41.840 --> 1:24:45.719
<v Speaker 1>killing people with guns in video games is really fun.

1:24:45.840 --> 1:24:48.960
<v Speaker 1>By killing people with guns in real life sounds horrific.

1:24:49.560 --> 1:24:51.120
<v Speaker 1>I don't think that should be fun at all.

1:24:52.960 --> 1:24:56.800
<v Speaker 6>I mean, there's there's definitely people who who enjoy it.

1:24:56.880 --> 1:24:59.400
<v Speaker 6>I mean, not that many. I don't think. I don't

1:24:59.400 --> 1:25:04.679
<v Speaker 6>think many many people in the military enjoy enjoy killing.

1:25:05.439 --> 1:25:08.840
<v Speaker 1>There's got to be a few, there's definitely a few.

1:25:09.479 --> 1:25:10.759
<v Speaker 6>But like Tom.

1:25:10.640 --> 1:25:13.280
<v Speaker 1>Enjoyed, do you want you do you have a lust

1:25:13.320 --> 1:25:14.720
<v Speaker 1>for blood? Chris?

1:25:16.200 --> 1:25:18.759
<v Speaker 6>No, man, I do this ship for the bennies.

1:25:18.880 --> 1:25:22.040
<v Speaker 1>The benefits Are you gonna punch someone in the face

1:25:22.080 --> 1:25:23.200
<v Speaker 1>in the mosh pit? Tonight?

1:25:25.240 --> 1:25:25.280
<v Speaker 2>No?

1:25:25.600 --> 1:25:29.600
<v Speaker 6>I'm I'm weak and frail and twinkish. I have a

1:25:29.640 --> 1:25:38.840
<v Speaker 6>girlish figure, so real, skinny guy.

1:25:39.400 --> 1:25:41.200
<v Speaker 1>You know. I feel like, actually, this was a good

1:25:41.200 --> 1:25:47.479
<v Speaker 1>phone call. Yeah yeah, I think like, no, no, this

1:25:47.600 --> 1:25:49.759
<v Speaker 1>was perfect. This was a perfect way to end this.

1:25:51.640 --> 1:25:55.280
<v Speaker 6>Well, talking about like the Get Go Pow camp and

1:25:55.320 --> 1:25:56.080
<v Speaker 6>like killing people.

1:25:56.479 --> 1:25:59.680
<v Speaker 1>No, just you know, don't we don't have to think

1:25:59.680 --> 1:26:01.800
<v Speaker 1>about it too much. I think we can just I

1:26:01.920 --> 1:26:04.120
<v Speaker 1>just intuitively believe this was a good way to end

1:26:04.120 --> 1:26:06.520
<v Speaker 1>the podcast today.

1:26:06.760 --> 1:26:08.679
<v Speaker 6>Yeah. Yeah, oh shit, I'm the I'm.

1:26:08.520 --> 1:26:12.400
<v Speaker 1>The last one, man, You're the last one. Wow.

1:26:12.600 --> 1:26:15.400
<v Speaker 6>I saw that it was like an hour Like I

1:26:15.680 --> 1:26:18.559
<v Speaker 6>always get these like notifications from your Instagram story. That's

1:26:18.600 --> 1:26:21.000
<v Speaker 6>how I find out. I saw it was like this

1:26:21.040 --> 1:26:22.640
<v Speaker 6>is an hour ago. I was like, yeah, I'm not

1:26:22.720 --> 1:26:23.519
<v Speaker 6>I'm not getting into.

1:26:23.439 --> 1:26:28.519
<v Speaker 1>This, Chris, What's up? Is there anything else you want

1:26:28.520 --> 1:26:30.040
<v Speaker 1>to say to the people of the computer before we go?

1:26:31.880 --> 1:26:32.880
<v Speaker 6>And whatever?

1:26:32.960 --> 1:26:33.280
<v Speaker 2>You do?

1:26:34.000 --> 1:26:36.800
<v Speaker 6>Go out and find shit to do, like even me,

1:26:37.040 --> 1:26:40.280
<v Speaker 6>Like I work and go to school all the fucking time.

1:26:40.320 --> 1:26:44.799
<v Speaker 6>But I promised you there's like shit to do somewhere something.

1:26:45.200 --> 1:26:46.680
<v Speaker 6>Unless you live in like the middle of nowhere, I

1:26:46.680 --> 1:26:47.200
<v Speaker 6>think are fucked.

1:26:47.520 --> 1:26:49.519
<v Speaker 1>But like, don't you live hold on, wait, don't you

1:26:49.560 --> 1:26:51.080
<v Speaker 1>live in the middle of nowhere? Isn't that what you

1:26:51.080 --> 1:26:51.599
<v Speaker 1>were just saying?

1:26:52.040 --> 1:26:56.559
<v Speaker 6>Okay, compared to like I don't know, like big cities

1:26:56.640 --> 1:27:01.080
<v Speaker 6>like Minneapolis, New York, Philly, shit like that. Oh Claire

1:27:01.439 --> 1:27:04.040
<v Speaker 6>is some some people in the in those bigger cities

1:27:04.120 --> 1:27:05.160
<v Speaker 6>think it's pretty small.

1:27:05.240 --> 1:27:10.400
<v Speaker 1>But I like the sentiment though, I like, I think

1:27:10.439 --> 1:27:13.240
<v Speaker 1>it's good to do things.

1:27:14.840 --> 1:27:19.880
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, yeah not because otherwise, like I just fucking hate

1:27:19.960 --> 1:27:22.040
<v Speaker 6>everything and I'm just like a robot. I just like

1:27:22.120 --> 1:27:24.560
<v Speaker 6>go make money and then spend money on school. You

1:27:24.600 --> 1:27:26.559
<v Speaker 6>know you gotta spend money on like other ships, like

1:27:27.120 --> 1:27:33.360
<v Speaker 6>fucking video games and basement shows.

1:27:33.560 --> 1:27:35.120
<v Speaker 1>I like your ethos, Chris. I hope you have a

1:27:35.120 --> 1:27:36.920
<v Speaker 1>fun time at this basement show. I don't know why

1:27:36.920 --> 1:27:39.080
<v Speaker 1>I said it that, like Mike Tyson just now. I

1:27:39.080 --> 1:27:43.120
<v Speaker 1>think it's because I almost burned. Okay, okay, I think

1:27:43.200 --> 1:27:46.120
<v Speaker 1>I think I think this was good. I hope you

1:27:46.200 --> 1:27:48.400
<v Speaker 1>enjoy this basement show. And again you were right. I

1:27:48.439 --> 1:27:51.280
<v Speaker 1>do think it's cool. I think it's very cool. I

1:27:51.400 --> 1:27:57.160
<v Speaker 1>like doing shit. I like hearing about cheap, cool shit

1:27:57.360 --> 1:28:02.680
<v Speaker 1>existing in places outside of major cities. And I am

1:28:02.760 --> 1:28:04.960
<v Speaker 1>very happy that you relaid this information not only to me,

1:28:05.040 --> 1:28:05.839
<v Speaker 1>but to the listeners.

1:28:08.000 --> 1:28:13.799
<v Speaker 6>I know, man, Yeah, if you guys can, can fucking

1:28:14.439 --> 1:28:19.120
<v Speaker 6>make it to this city in one hour and figure

1:28:19.120 --> 1:28:20.440
<v Speaker 6>out'll it'll.

1:28:20.200 --> 1:28:22.040
<v Speaker 1>This will be by the time I post this, it'll

1:28:22.040 --> 1:28:23.519
<v Speaker 1>be the show. Beal.

1:28:23.680 --> 1:28:25.679
<v Speaker 6>Now there's the guys listening to the to the live

1:28:25.720 --> 1:28:29.439
<v Speaker 6>stream and ship. Oh sure, I guarantee none of them

1:28:29.760 --> 1:28:32.200
<v Speaker 6>even live in Wisconsin. But you know you don't know that.

1:28:32.320 --> 1:28:36.519
<v Speaker 1>You don't know anything, Chris. You cannot assume a single

1:28:36.600 --> 1:28:39.400
<v Speaker 1>thing about anything that you even even the things you

1:28:39.560 --> 1:28:41.479
<v Speaker 1>know you must be skeptical of.

1:28:43.479 --> 1:28:46.839
<v Speaker 6>No, I'm you know, people who are stupid and gullible

1:28:46.880 --> 1:28:48.720
<v Speaker 6>are like pretty happy if you notice that.

1:28:48.920 --> 1:28:50.000
<v Speaker 1>So I have noticed that.

1:28:50.640 --> 1:28:52.479
<v Speaker 6>I'm trying to live a little bit like that, you know,

1:28:52.520 --> 1:28:55.080
<v Speaker 6>and I'm pretty happy. So there you go.

1:28:55.439 --> 1:28:59.919
<v Speaker 1>Okay, in that case, believe everything you hear, be skeptical

1:29:00.120 --> 1:29:05.600
<v Speaker 1>of nothing, and and you'll be happier. That is a

1:29:05.600 --> 1:29:09.840
<v Speaker 1>little true. That is a little true. I'll see you

1:29:09.880 --> 1:29:11.400
<v Speaker 1>around the universe. Chris, thank you for calling.

1:29:12.360 --> 1:29:13.439
<v Speaker 6>Yeah, man, I have a good night.

1:29:13.640 --> 1:29:19.320
<v Speaker 1>You too. I was lovely. Thank you very much everyone

1:29:19.360 --> 1:29:26.920
<v Speaker 1>for listening to the Therapy Gecko podcast today. Good calls today. Uh,

1:29:27.600 --> 1:29:31.439
<v Speaker 1>talking to Otter was cool, talking to Erica was cool.

1:29:32.160 --> 1:29:35.320
<v Speaker 1>Talking to Chris was cool. Good calls today. Good episode

1:29:35.320 --> 1:29:38.720
<v Speaker 1>of the pod. Good pod. I love a good pod.

1:29:39.560 --> 1:29:42.800
<v Speaker 1>I love I love when I when I take off

1:29:42.880 --> 1:29:44.439
<v Speaker 1>the geck go ahead and I'm like, this was a

1:29:44.479 --> 1:29:46.840
<v Speaker 1>good one. I liked that one. Today is one of

1:29:46.840 --> 1:29:54.400
<v Speaker 1>those days. Stay beautiful and see you see you next time.

1:29:55.720 --> 1:29:59.280
<v Speaker 1>Ghek bless it goes on the line.

1:29:59.520 --> 1:29:59.880
<v Speaker 3>Thank you.

1:30:00.000 --> 1:30:03.000
<v Speaker 1>The phone calls every night. Never big Get goes to

1:30:03.120 --> 1:30:05.920
<v Speaker 1>on his right, you're just teaching news housing over your life.

1:30:06.280 --> 1:30:09.240
<v Speaker 1>But he's not really an expert.