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Speaker 1: What's your name?

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Speaker 2: The name's Erica, Erica.

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Speaker 1: What's up, Erica? How's life?

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Speaker 2: Life's pretty good. I'm actively fucking up my eyebrows right now.

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Speaker 1: You're actively fucking up your eyebrows right now.

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Speaker 2: Yes, I started plucking them and I just plucked a

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Speaker 2: little too much.

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Speaker 1: Well, Stephanie, what's what's going on?

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Speaker 3: Man?

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Speaker 1: Would you wanna talk about today? Eric? Oh? Crap? The

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Speaker 1: other person that I talk to is Stephanie, So I

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Speaker 1: what's I'm gonna call everyone? Just call her because I don't.

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Speaker 1: I can't. It's been established that I can't. Uh, I

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Speaker 1: can't do names, which is fine. It's okay everyone. Everyone

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Speaker 1: should be anonymous on this thing. So I'm gonna call you. Caller,

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Speaker 1: call her? What's up? What do you want to talk about?

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Speaker 2: I wanted to talk about Bakersfield, California.

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Speaker 1: I think I went to baker Field, California a couple

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Speaker 1: of years ago on like a camping trip or some shit.

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Speaker 2: Really have we ever seen? Like I think it's a

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Speaker 2: Netflix show about Bakersfield, and it's like a bunch of

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Speaker 2: like killbillies and like rich oil people.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm familiar with, Like, I'm vaguely familiar with the culture.

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Speaker 1: Tell me more.

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Speaker 2: That was like to a tea. So it's so crazy.

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Speaker 2: There's like so many different parts of town that are

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Speaker 2: so different, and the part of town where I grew up,

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Speaker 2: I thought this stuff was normal. So like my high school,

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Speaker 2: everything was gated and you had to call security to

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Speaker 2: come to your classroom to take you to the bathroom

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Speaker 2: because people were studying trash cans on fire or ditching

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Speaker 2: or fighting or having sex somewhere on campus. And we

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Speaker 2: weren't allowed to wear certain colored shirts because of gang affiliation.

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Speaker 2: You couldn't wear like plain white teas or playing red

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Speaker 2: teas and stuff like that, and I thought that was

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Speaker 2: like normal.

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Speaker 1: Were there a lot of gangs in Baker's Field?

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Speaker 2: Yes?

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Speaker 1: What were Were you ever in a gang?

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Speaker 2: No? I wasn't, but my older sister always took me

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Speaker 2: to like house parties and they were all gang affiliated.

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Speaker 2: And actually my dad's side of the family, I wasn't

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Speaker 2: really like in touch with them, but they were all

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Speaker 2: gang affiliated too.

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Speaker 1: M Okay, what else was going on in Bakersfield at

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Speaker 1: the time.

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Speaker 2: Shit. I have an uncle who has like seventeen kids

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Speaker 2: from like different baby mamas, and he was always in

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Speaker 2: and out of prison and yeah, Like all of my

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Speaker 2: family was like always in and out of prison, like

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Speaker 2: my grandma's getting DUIs, fighting my uncle's wife in the

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Speaker 2: front yard, ghetto stuff like that. But like that was

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Speaker 2: my normal. So once I got away from Baker's Toe it,

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Speaker 2: I was like, holy shit, that place is wild.

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Speaker 1: Where did you get away from Bakersfield to.

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Speaker 2: Go the military?

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Speaker 1: Are you? Is that where you are now?

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Speaker 2: No? I was in the military for six years. I

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Speaker 2: got medically discharged, and then me and my husband moved

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Speaker 2: to a different part of California.

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Speaker 1: And what was it like? What was it like being

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Speaker 1: in the military for six years?

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Speaker 2: I had a blast. I was a mechanic. I was

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Speaker 2: a helicopter mechanic. And I before that, I was like

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Speaker 2: a bougie bitch, like wearing dresses and heels and nails

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Speaker 2: done all the time, didn't know what a socket wrench was.

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Speaker 2: And then I became like a grease monkey and became

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Speaker 2: a mechanic and was traveling the world. I went on

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Speaker 2: like three different aircraft carriers and spent over like three

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Speaker 2: hundred and sixty days to see and I had a blast.

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Speaker 1: What was the medical discharge?

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Speaker 2: Oh, I have this like brain condition where the veins

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Speaker 2: at the bottom of my brain are like narrow, and

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Speaker 2: so it builds pressure in my brain and it gave

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Speaker 2: me like migraines and was causing like issues with my eyes.

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Speaker 1: WHOA did that develop while you were in the military?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: WHOA? What happens when you get medically discharged from the military?

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Speaker 1: Do they like, do you get shit? Or are they

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Speaker 1: just like you gotta go?

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Speaker 2: There's like a whole process you have to go through,

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Speaker 2: like what's called a medboard, and then I think mine

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Speaker 2: took like ten months, I think, and you have lawyers

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Speaker 2: and a lot of paperwork, a lot of doctor's appointments,

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Speaker 2: and then it gets sent to like an office where

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Speaker 2: one person has to confirm if you're getting discharged or not.

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Speaker 2: And they have to do all of the military so

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Speaker 2: like Navy, air Force, all of them. And so that's

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Speaker 2: why it takes so long.

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Speaker 1: What did you do right when you were medically discharged?

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Speaker 2: I became an office manager for a pool construction company.

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Speaker 1: And how was that?

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Speaker 2: It was interesting. It was a startup company and the

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Speaker 2: owners were not very good with money, and the clientele

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Speaker 2: was high, like high payers. But the company I worked

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Speaker 2: for was low balling everything and fucked everything up and

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Speaker 2: was constantly getting sued, and so they eventually made me

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Speaker 2: the bookkeeper because they had to pretty much get rid

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Speaker 2: of everybody because they couldn't afford anything. And I ended

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Speaker 2: up with like five different people's job, and I was

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Speaker 2: the bookkeeper, so I got to see where the big

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Speaker 2: account went, like negative four hundred dollars. And so when

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Speaker 2: they said they wanted to have a meeting with me,

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Speaker 2: I already knew that I lost my job because I

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Speaker 2: watched the money disappear. It was crazy because the owner

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Speaker 2: of the company, he would like show up different times

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Speaker 2: and like a range Rover and then a Jaguar, and

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Speaker 2: then he took all of us, or he didn't take.

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Speaker 2: Well I didn't go, but he invited the whole company

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Speaker 2: for midget wrestling in Norco for some reason and paid

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Speaker 2: for like VIP tickets.

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Speaker 1: You didn't go.

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Speaker 2: So it was like on a Thursday night and like

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Speaker 2: I'm married, and like I feel old now, so like

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Speaker 2: I didn't want to be at a bar watching midget

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Speaker 2: do that. Like that was from her early twenties.

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Speaker 1: How old are you now? If you don't mind me.

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Speaker 2: Asking, I turned twenty nine next week.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well you're not old.

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Speaker 2: I feel old, like after the military, Like, I feel

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Speaker 2: like I got my ass beat and everything hurts.

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Speaker 1: Do you So, what are you doing now? Are you

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Speaker 1: still working at that pool company?

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Speaker 2: No? So they went belly up, and then I was

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Speaker 2: unemployed and collecting the unemployment for a bit, and then

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Speaker 2: I started to use my VA benefits to go to school.

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Speaker 2: So I'm pursuing my bachelor's in health science.

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Speaker 1: Okay, well, what's the ultimate goal with that, like, become

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Speaker 1: like some kind of medical person thing.

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Speaker 2: Mmm, you would think so, but no, So I don't

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Speaker 2: really feel like working again. I want to pursue the

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Speaker 2: career being a stay at home mom after and me

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Speaker 2: and my husband made a deal that I can be

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Speaker 2: a stay at home mom as long as I'm educated beforehand,

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Speaker 2: so that when I am actively a mother, I do

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Speaker 2: have the ability to have a job if I wanted one.

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Speaker 1: So you made a deal with your husband that he

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Speaker 1: would financially support you being a stay at home mom

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Speaker 1: as long as you went to school and.

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Speaker 2: Got my degree before we started having kids.

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Speaker 1: Yes, how long is it going to take for you

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Speaker 1: to get your degree?

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Speaker 2: I'm almost done, actually in it. We're both in school

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Speaker 2: right now. Is we're both working on our bachelor's degree,

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Speaker 2: so that's a cool part of the deal. We're doing

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Speaker 2: it together.

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Speaker 1: The are you going to same school?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Oh cool, same degree.

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Speaker 2: No, he's going for it.

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Speaker 1: Are you like taking out like student loans and shiit?

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Speaker 4: No this.

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Speaker 2: He's in the military too, So we're both veterans using

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Speaker 2: our VA benefits to go to school and we get

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Speaker 2: a housing allowance and so that pays for our living

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Speaker 2: while we both go to school full time.

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Speaker 1: Oh kick ass. That's awesome. So are you so you

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Speaker 1: just want to you just want to get a degree

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Speaker 1: just to have it, just to say that you can

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Speaker 1: get a job if you wanted to. Yeah, very cool.

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Speaker 1: Was that always your goal, like to be a stay

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Speaker 1: at home mom?

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Speaker 2: Fuck no. Before I met my husband, I was never

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Speaker 2: getting married. I was never having children. But he's so amazing.

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Speaker 2: I completely changed me and my mind, and now I

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Speaker 2: want to be a stay at home mom doing like

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Speaker 2: a homeschool thing or something.

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Speaker 1: Wait, tell me more. That's kind of fascinating. Why do

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Speaker 1: you think you flipped, dude?

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Speaker 2: I swear like the first time I like hung out

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Speaker 2: with him, there was like fireworks and it felt like

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Speaker 2: a movie. I swear it's like a movie. And I

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Speaker 2: tell him all the time. I was like, what voodoo

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Speaker 2: did you do to me? Because I used to be

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Speaker 2: a thug, but now I'm all soft and sensitive, Like

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Speaker 2: I want to take care of your children.

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Speaker 1: You used to be a thug.

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Speaker 2: I just told you from I'm from Bakersfield, Like it's build.

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Speaker 1: Worldwist what what do you I mean if you want

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Speaker 1: to elaborate.

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Speaker 5: Like what sure like into Like I was like eight

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Speaker 5: years old and in the car with a parent to

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Speaker 5: help sober up my uncle and cover.

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Speaker 2: Up his voice or not his voices, cover up his uh,

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Speaker 2: his breath of alcohol with coffee because he just do you.

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Speaker 2: I crashed into the side of a house. My aunt,

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Speaker 2: who was my babysitter for a few years, was a murderer.

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Speaker 2: She murdered somebody, like maybe like a couple of years after,

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Speaker 2: like she stopped babysitting me, and then.

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Speaker 1: What else, Well wait a minute, wait minute, but yeah,

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Speaker 1: but those are all stories about your family. I'm talking

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Speaker 1: about you.

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Speaker 2: But I'm actively in those things. I'm the person handing

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Speaker 2: the drunk guy the coffee. Like I'm a little kid

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Speaker 2: actively doing these things.

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Speaker 1: I don't know. Yeah, okay, but I don't know if

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Speaker 1: I mean yeah, but okay, if you're hold on, hold

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Speaker 1: on being eight years old and helping your family and

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Speaker 1: kind of blindly being with your family while they do

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Speaker 1: quote unquote thug things, well I don't think it makes

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Speaker 1: you a thug.

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Speaker 2: Well that in cases teaches me as a young kid

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Speaker 2: that these things are okay. I never learned until recently

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Speaker 2: that these things were not okay. And so in my

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Speaker 2: early twenties I have done, like I don't want to

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Speaker 2: go in detail my stuff, but because of the stuff

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Speaker 2: I was exposed to as a young child, I did

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Speaker 2: some hood rat shit in my early twenties speaking it

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Speaker 2: was okay. And now that I'm in my last year

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Speaker 2: of my twenties, I'm like, I'm surprised I'm alive, and

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Speaker 2: I'm surprised I've never been arrested and everything turned out okay.

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Speaker 1: Hmmm, do you still keep in good contact with your parents?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 1: Is it like totally nothing?

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Speaker 2: My dad's totally nothing. And then my mom, that's a

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Speaker 2: weird situation with her because she didn't know she was

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Speaker 2: a horrible mother. And then I started going to therapy and

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Speaker 2: I was like, Yo, did you know this this and

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Speaker 2: this and this was like fucked up, and she was like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I had no idea, and now she's like weird about it.

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Speaker 2: I don't want to talk.

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Speaker 1: When did you stop talking to your parents?

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Speaker 2: Well, my dad called me randomly. Remember I was talking

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Speaker 2: about getting discharged for that brain thing. Yes, so I

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Speaker 2: was in the process of that and my dad randomly

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Speaker 2: called me and was like, I never want to speak

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Speaker 2: to you again. And I was like, well, okay, and

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Speaker 2: then he hasn't talked to me since. And that wasn't

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Speaker 2: maybe like twenty twenty one.

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Speaker 1: And why would your dad randomly call you after not

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Speaker 1: talking to you to say he doesn't want to talk

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Speaker 1: to you. That's so bizarre.

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Speaker 2: On he's like a narcissist and mentally ill and alcoholic.

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Speaker 2: So there's a.

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Speaker 1: Do you what about like siblings?

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Speaker 2: My older sister I found well, I recently realized that

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Speaker 2: she was my biggest hater in life and tried to

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Speaker 2: like sabotage my happiness. And so she's seven years older

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Speaker 2: than me, and she's my half sister. So my mom

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Speaker 2: was married to somebody else before her. But my sister

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Speaker 2: is seven years older than me and would take me

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Speaker 2: on the weekend starting at age fourteen'll get me drunk

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Speaker 2: every weekend until I left for the military and let

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Speaker 2: me get like blacked out and become an alcoholic and

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Speaker 2: just do all this stupid stuff. And I thought I

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Speaker 2: was spending quality time with my sister, but I realized

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Speaker 2: she was my biggest hater and I confronted her about it.

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Speaker 2: I was like, hey, the ain't cool and she just

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Speaker 2: does not get it. So yeah, I haven't really talked

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Speaker 2: to her in like a year now.

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Speaker 1: Huh how I you know, look, if it's the whole

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Speaker 1: thing to get into, then we don't have to. But like,

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Speaker 1: does that are you kind of like is what it is?

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Speaker 1: I'm going to start my own family about it? Or

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Speaker 1: does that are you like bummed about it?

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Speaker 2: Well, she's like super negative, Like she's always late. I

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Speaker 2: hate when people are late. That's like my biggest pet

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Speaker 2: teas shes as negative and yelling. So like not having

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Speaker 2: her in my life for the past year has been

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Speaker 2: really good.

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Speaker 1: Actually, okay cool? What about like friends? What about like

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Speaker 1: friends from Bakersfield? Do you still have any friends from

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Speaker 1: from around that time of your life?

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Speaker 2: No?

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Speaker 1: Did you have friends during that time in your life?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? I had friends, but I don't know, just it

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Speaker 2: seems like the people in Bakersfield are stuck to thinking

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Speaker 2: that like having a good time, his being in somebody's

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Speaker 2: backyard getting like blacked out drunk. Yeah, that's where. And

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Speaker 2: I'm not into that. Like I would love to have

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Speaker 2: like an intellectual conversation or go to a museum or

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Speaker 2: do something cool, and people in Bakersfield do that.

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Speaker 1: They have museums in Bakersfield, right, They've.

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Speaker 5: Got stuff I don't remember.

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Speaker 1: Well, let's see, hmmm, and where did you meet? Where

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Speaker 1: did you meet your husbands? Are you guys married yet?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, we've been married for I think almost four years.

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Speaker 1: Oh cool.

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Speaker 2: Where'd you guys meet in the military. He used to

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Speaker 2: be my supervisor at one point.

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Speaker 1: Interesting And so you what you met him when you

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Speaker 1: were twenty four twenty three?

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Speaker 2: Yeah, around twenty four.

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Speaker 1: I think, and you were like, I'm never getting married,

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Speaker 1: I'm never having kids and never doing any that shit.

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Speaker 1: And you meet him and you're like, oh, okay, I

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Speaker 1: want to I want to do all that shit now, Yes? Cool?

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Speaker 1: What's his deal? Who is he?

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Speaker 2: He is amazing. He's so smart and artistic and there's

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Speaker 2: like a nerdy size to him, like he's been a

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Speaker 2: gamer since forever. And he's also into working out and

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Speaker 2: he's a handy man. We bought this place together and

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Speaker 2: he redid the whole thing, kind of like Chip and

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Speaker 2: Joe Anne style, Like, h he's so dreamy.

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Speaker 1: That's wonderful. That's so it sounds like you, I have

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Speaker 1: had a great uh life one eighty.

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Speaker 2: Kind of like have crippling depression. So like I have

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Speaker 2: this amazing life, but it's still like I'm still sad.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, that was what I was gonna ask, are

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Speaker 1: you or do you like, how do you feel about

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Speaker 1: life now?

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Speaker 2: Ship? My life's amazing, but it's just so hard to

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Speaker 2: be in the moment. I'm trying to be more in

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Speaker 2: the moment.

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Speaker 1: Why do you find it hard to be in the moment?

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Speaker 6: Oh?

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Speaker 2: I just have like I'll hold on one second.

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Speaker 1: My mouth is dry, but what are you? Are you

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Speaker 1: taking some water?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: That's good. I gotta drink more water. I just I

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Speaker 1: keep doing the fucking Gatorade zero and the Diet Coke

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Speaker 1: and the Snapple zero. And it's like when am When

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Speaker 1: When am I going to drink some fucking water? You know?

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Speaker 1: Water is good when you.

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Speaker 2: Feel like changing. Yeah, Oh, I just read the I

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Speaker 2: just read the Mel Robinson book The Lesson Theory, how

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Speaker 2: to recommend it? Love it?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, what'd you think about that?

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Speaker 2: I thought it was amazing and life changing and I

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Speaker 2: don't know, I feel like I'm gonna have a lot

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Speaker 2: of wisdom as a person because I've had a lot

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Speaker 2: of life experiences. But Mels, I think she's did either

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Speaker 2: in her sixties or late fifties, and all of this

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Speaker 2: wisdom that she's providing in this book, for anyone who's

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Speaker 2: pretty young to read it would have a step ahead

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Speaker 2: in life. I feel what.

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Speaker 1: Exactly what is the thesis of the let them theory?

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Speaker 2: So pretty much let them so a lot of anxiety

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Speaker 2: and we automatically as humans want to control things, but

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Speaker 2: it's pretty much giving up the control and being like

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Speaker 2: let them or let whatever happens, and then you just

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Speaker 2: from there you say let me, and then you decide

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Speaker 2: to choose what to do.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm big on that. I'm big on that. I

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Speaker 1: forget if I talked about this in the podcast already,

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Speaker 1: but like you ever like I'll have a thing, I'll

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Speaker 1: have a I'll have a thing. Now I've made like

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Speaker 1: an intentional change to my thoughts where I'll be like,

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Speaker 1: you ever leave a social interaction? And I forget if

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Speaker 1: I said this on the podcast, all right, but who cares?

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Speaker 1: You ever leave a social interaction and you're like, oh, man,

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Speaker 1: I think I was kind of annoying or I think

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Speaker 1: I was I kind of they're probably talking shit about

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Speaker 1: me right now? Or you know, is that familiar feeling

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Speaker 1: to you?

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Speaker 2: Yes?

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Speaker 1: And now now I when I have that thought, I'm like, well,

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Speaker 1: so what who you know? Yeah, let them Well, who

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Speaker 1: gives a shit? Who cares if I'm annoying? It's fine?

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Speaker 1: You know who else was annoying? SpongeBob and everyone loves me?

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Speaker 2: True? Oh, I'm actually part of this VA class called act,

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Speaker 2: which is like accept something.

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Speaker 1: Accepting some commitment therapy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that ship, Yeah, that ship feels really good. I've

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Speaker 1: like kind of just stumbled upon that, uh in my

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Speaker 1: own like just line of thinking. It feels great to

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Speaker 1: like let it, let it go and let you know, well, yeah,

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Speaker 1: especially if you're like making ship on the internet and

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Speaker 1: you I mean not even making shit. You don't even

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Speaker 1: have to make sure it if you use the internet,

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Speaker 1: or honestly, if you're a human being living life, you

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Speaker 1: just encounter so much like vitual fucking everywhere, and you

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Speaker 1: can't do anything except uh, accept that which you cannot control.

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Speaker 1: So I'm I'm I'm into that ship. I drink I'll

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Speaker 1: drink the metal Robins kool aid.

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Speaker 2: I was speaking of spiritual ship. So me and my

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Speaker 2: husband are having conversation about this. What at what point

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Speaker 2: do you think consciousness consciousness comes into a body of

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Speaker 2: a person, Like is it when conception happens, or is

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Speaker 2: it when I don't know twenty five when it happens,

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Speaker 2: or at one point is a person like a conscious being?

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Speaker 1: I have no idea. I don't even have any theories.

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Speaker 1: I think, uh, yeah, I have no idea. I think

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Speaker 1: that that's a thing that people just don't know. There

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Speaker 1: could be, you know what, There could be like a

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Speaker 1: an unseen dimension through which things like souls and consciousnesses travel.

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Speaker 1: I mean probably not, it's probably it's probably probably biological

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Speaker 1: shit to it.

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Speaker 2: But well, I don't I feel like there definitely is

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Speaker 2: different different dimensions because I've been able to like disassociate

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Speaker 2: to where I can see myself having a conversation.

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Speaker 1: Oh you've had an add of body experience, yes.

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Speaker 2: And there has to be like different dimensions and stuff

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Speaker 2: because like everything was in slow motion and it was weird.

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Speaker 1: Do are you from it? Do you know what dp

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Speaker 1: DR is, no, like de personalization, derealization. Yeah, it's like

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Speaker 1: a it's kind of like, yeah, like an out of

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Speaker 1: body experience, like a little bit what you're talking about.

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Speaker 1: And I think a lot of like mental illnesses are

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Speaker 1: like but this is coming from no research. This is

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Speaker 1: coming from just thinking about this shit.

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Speaker 5: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I have no form of any kind of academic background

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Speaker 1: except sitting in a lecture hall while Mission imp uh

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Speaker 1: while the professor play scenes from Mission Impossible when we

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Speaker 1: take notes on it. That's my academic background. But I

399
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Speaker 1: was thinking like, like, like mental illnesses are kind of

400
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Speaker 1: like uh, like defects in consciousness, you know, because I

401
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Speaker 1: don't think that like like like that, like do I

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Speaker 1: don't know if animals have I mean, humans are the

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Speaker 1: most conscious living things that we're at least at least

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Speaker 1: we're aware of on the planet Earth. And like I

405
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Speaker 1: don't know if dogs. I think dogs get like depressed

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Speaker 1: and anxious, but I don't I don't think that dog.

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Speaker 1: I don't know if there's any like schizophrenic dogs or

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Speaker 1: like if dogs ever have like depersonalization or out of

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Speaker 1: body experiences or psychosises. I think those are like unique.

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Speaker 2: Not.

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Speaker 1: Definitely dogs that have PTSD. Definitely, there's definitely like a

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Speaker 1: lot of human dog mental illnesses. Are the humans and

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Speaker 1: dogs definitely share a lot of that kind of shit.

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Speaker 1: But there there's some weird like things that happen in

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Speaker 1: like to humans that I think are like unique to

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Speaker 1: the level of consciousness that we have. And it's yeah,

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Speaker 1: I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. I

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Speaker 1: I consciousness just seems to be something that like naturally

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Speaker 1: evolved in some way. I don't know if there's a

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Speaker 1: spiritual element to it, but I think like mysticism and

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Speaker 1: spirit like the idea of an unseen dimension and whatnot,

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Speaker 1: could could be things that, uh, you can you can

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Speaker 1: start thinking about once we we hit the point where, uh,

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Speaker 1: science cannot explain certain things, but science can explain like

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Speaker 1: a kind of a hell of a lot.

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Speaker 2: I think, Yeah, I think so too.

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Speaker 5: Oh.

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00:26:02,960 --> 00:26:06,320
Speaker 2: Also, I wanted to mention last summer I took this

429
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Speaker 2: medical anthropology class, and from what I gathered in the

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00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:17,919
Speaker 2: class is that every other country besides like the US,

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Speaker 2: they incorporate spirituality into their medical healing and we're the

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Speaker 2: only people who don't. And it's interesting because there's a

433
00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:33,200
Speaker 2: lot of placebo in these actual healings when test trials

434
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Speaker 2: are done, and it really shows the the power of

435
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:41,840
Speaker 2: the mind and healing and believing that you're going to

436
00:26:41,880 --> 00:26:44,520
Speaker 2: be healed based on what's happening. Very interesting.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I know that, Like, like I know, I've heard

438
00:26:50,440 --> 00:26:53,199
Speaker 1: stories of like people who have cancer where it's like

439
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:57,680
Speaker 1: you have, like there's there is some mind body connection

440
00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:04,440
Speaker 1: of like uh like fighting, you know, like like believing

441
00:27:04,680 --> 00:27:08,919
Speaker 1: that things will get better. That might be total fucking

442
00:27:08,960 --> 00:27:18,840
Speaker 1: complete pseudoscience bullshit, But this whole conversation may may absolutely

443
00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:22,880
Speaker 1: very well be pseudo scientific bullshit. But like, this.

444
00:27:22,880 --> 00:27:25,040
Speaker 2: Is the type of shit I think about. Like I'm

445
00:27:25,320 --> 00:27:29,040
Speaker 2: walking down like I'm in school now, I'm walking down

446
00:27:29,400 --> 00:27:34,960
Speaker 2: the the courtyard and everyone has headbutts and I'm trying

447
00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:38,680
Speaker 2: to talk to people and have these thoughts about these

448
00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:43,960
Speaker 2: random ass univers things and just no connection for that.

449
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:53,680
Speaker 1: You said that they incorporates spiritual spirituality and like medical

450
00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:57,520
Speaker 1: situations places outside the US, Like do you have an.

451
00:27:57,359 --> 00:28:03,960
Speaker 5: Example, Yes, they do do that, and no, not off

452
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:08,239
Speaker 5: the top of my head, that's okay, horrible memory, that's right,

453
00:28:08,280 --> 00:28:10,240
Speaker 5: but it would tell you what if you ever come

454
00:28:10,280 --> 00:28:13,280
Speaker 5: across any class like that, highly recommend it.

455
00:28:14,760 --> 00:28:17,359
Speaker 1: So you're having problems finding people who can connect with

456
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:20,160
Speaker 1: you on all the existential shit that you want to

457
00:28:20,200 --> 00:28:20,919
Speaker 1: think about.

458
00:28:20,640 --> 00:28:24,480
Speaker 2: And talk about, well, my husband's pretty great at talking

459
00:28:24,520 --> 00:28:29,280
Speaker 2: to me about it because we're pretty similar. But out

460
00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:32,639
Speaker 2: in like the real world, not really like at school,

461
00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:34,719
Speaker 2: I try to talk to people, but everyone has their

462
00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:40,120
Speaker 2: head budgeon and I wouldn't even realize that. I'm like, hey,

463
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,200
Speaker 2: how are you doing? And then they just like walk

464
00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:43,840
Speaker 2: away from me, and I'm just like, I hope they

465
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:46,480
Speaker 2: had had budgeton at least everyone else.

466
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:48,880
Speaker 1: Has them in Are you when you say that? Are

467
00:28:48,920 --> 00:28:51,040
Speaker 1: you like? Are these just people like all like walking

468
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:53,720
Speaker 1: around this on the campus.

469
00:28:54,440 --> 00:28:58,520
Speaker 2: I'm on campus in class, like everyone in my campus

470
00:28:58,560 --> 00:29:01,280
Speaker 2: like always has headbudgs.

471
00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:02,640
Speaker 1: Or nobody nobody wants to talk to you.

472
00:29:04,080 --> 00:29:06,440
Speaker 2: It doesn't seem like anybody talks to anybody in the

473
00:29:06,480 --> 00:29:12,360
Speaker 2: campus is always like really it's not active.

474
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:14,959
Speaker 1: Is it a major school?

475
00:29:16,720 --> 00:29:18,080
Speaker 2: It's a CSU.

476
00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:22,640
Speaker 1: CSU California State University.

477
00:29:23,600 --> 00:29:27,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, I yes, that's big, but yeah, well not really

478
00:29:27,080 --> 00:29:30,240
Speaker 2: that many people. Well, also, a lot of classes right

479
00:29:30,240 --> 00:29:34,520
Speaker 2: now are getting canceled because there's not that many students,

480
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:39,080
Speaker 2: and I've heard faculty talk about a lot of cuts.

481
00:29:40,960 --> 00:29:43,400
Speaker 1: I was going to ask, have you been making friends

482
00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:46,240
Speaker 1: in school or like just in because you said you

483
00:29:46,240 --> 00:29:48,880
Speaker 1: didn't have any friends from back in Bakersfield? Do you

484
00:29:48,880 --> 00:29:50,240
Speaker 1: have new friends where you are now?

485
00:29:51,400 --> 00:29:53,560
Speaker 2: Fine school? But I made some friends off of bumble

486
00:29:53,680 --> 00:29:57,920
Speaker 2: bsf Oh cool. Yeah, I've met a cool a bunch

487
00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:01,040
Speaker 2: of cool people. Off. There's funny. It feels kind of

488
00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:04,280
Speaker 2: like high school dating because I would like meet up

489
00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:07,320
Speaker 2: with these girls and we would like smoke in their

490
00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:10,720
Speaker 2: car and then we'd go to eat and then that

491
00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:11,520
Speaker 2: was a hangout?

492
00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:14,720
Speaker 1: Is it? You know what I love? I'm twenty seven.

493
00:30:14,840 --> 00:30:17,320
Speaker 1: I mean we're basically we're, you know, late twenties. And

494
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:22,520
Speaker 1: I love when I when I have like a social situation.

495
00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:24,240
Speaker 1: This happened to be kind of recently when I have

496
00:30:24,320 --> 00:30:27,720
Speaker 1: like a social situation where I'm like, oh, I never

497
00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:30,960
Speaker 1: thought I I thought I thought that I would never

498
00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:34,640
Speaker 1: do something like this again. Like I thought this was

499
00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:39,920
Speaker 1: like reserved for when you're in like high school and college,

500
00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:44,080
Speaker 1: you know, like when you're like like like when you're

501
00:30:44,080 --> 00:30:46,400
Speaker 1: like twenty seven and you're like, right, like you're twice

502
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:49,840
Speaker 1: seven and you're like hanging out with like other people

503
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:53,640
Speaker 1: around your age, getting high in a car or something,

504
00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:56,240
Speaker 1: and then you go like eat food. You're like, wholl

505
00:30:56,280 --> 00:30:58,200
Speaker 1: I didn't realize we could keep doing this.

506
00:30:59,480 --> 00:31:02,239
Speaker 2: Well, that's a lovely part of being this age and

507
00:31:02,280 --> 00:31:06,760
Speaker 2: not having children. Right, yes, because a lot of people

508
00:31:06,800 --> 00:31:09,080
Speaker 2: I went to school with and like I didn't go

509
00:31:09,120 --> 00:31:11,520
Speaker 2: to my ten year reunion and actually canceled it because

510
00:31:11,640 --> 00:31:14,400
Speaker 2: not enough people bought tickets. But any who, a lot

511
00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:18,200
Speaker 2: of them are like parents of three by now, like

512
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:19,320
Speaker 2: a lot of them are.

513
00:31:21,040 --> 00:31:27,080
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, I mean I think that like like I

514
00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:31,200
Speaker 4: don't know, I I'm in the I'm not really actively,

515
00:31:31,240 --> 00:31:33,200
Speaker 4: but like I spent a lot of time.

516
00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:39,080
Speaker 1: In like the comedy universe, and in the comedy universe,

517
00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:43,200
Speaker 1: Like it's interesting because you'll be like twenty one, going

518
00:31:43,240 --> 00:31:45,800
Speaker 1: to open mics and shit, and you'll just be hanging

519
00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:48,800
Speaker 1: out with like a thirty seven year old dude with

520
00:31:48,920 --> 00:31:53,280
Speaker 1: a wife and kids who's you know what. I like,

521
00:31:53,400 --> 00:31:55,160
Speaker 1: maybe his kids are like a tiny bit older and

522
00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:57,080
Speaker 1: what whatever, Like he's but he's out at the bar

523
00:31:57,760 --> 00:32:00,959
Speaker 1: doing the doing the comedy and you and him are

524
00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:03,520
Speaker 1: hanging out and drinking, and it's like, oh, I guess

525
00:32:03,600 --> 00:32:08,560
Speaker 1: you can keep living like I. I guess you can

526
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:15,320
Speaker 1: keep living life as a mother or father without neglecting

527
00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:17,240
Speaker 1: your children. That you can still do shit.

528
00:32:17,520 --> 00:32:23,440
Speaker 2: You know, I've never really witnessed that. All of the

529
00:32:23,480 --> 00:32:28,320
Speaker 2: people that I've seen that are like parents just go

530
00:32:28,400 --> 00:32:30,040
Speaker 2: home and watch TV after work.

531
00:32:30,640 --> 00:32:32,080
Speaker 1: I think you know what it is is, I think,

532
00:32:32,360 --> 00:32:37,960
Speaker 1: what what do you live? I think it's a city thing. Yeah,

533
00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:41,480
Speaker 1: I think it's a city thing more than it is

534
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:43,920
Speaker 1: like because I think if you're if you have like

535
00:32:44,160 --> 00:32:48,520
Speaker 1: kids in the suburbs, you're you're probably likely to live

536
00:32:48,720 --> 00:32:52,479
Speaker 1: like a suburban life. But yeah, I mean when I

537
00:32:52,560 --> 00:32:54,840
Speaker 1: was in like doing stand up in like Baltimore, Philly,

538
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:58,080
Speaker 1: or you know, hanging around in New York, you know,

539
00:32:58,160 --> 00:33:02,600
Speaker 1: I would meet these people who were I mean shit,

540
00:33:02,640 --> 00:33:04,400
Speaker 1: I just went to Tijuana and I hung out with

541
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:07,280
Speaker 1: shout out my homide Diego. I made it. I'm making

542
00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:10,400
Speaker 1: a video about it, which you will will see soon.

543
00:33:10,600 --> 00:33:15,080
Speaker 1: But he's a great example because he's, uh, this guy

544
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:19,120
Speaker 1: hung out with Diego. I went to Tijuana to meet

545
00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:22,480
Speaker 1: up with him. He's like a break he organizes like

546
00:33:23,040 --> 00:33:27,320
Speaker 1: the break dance community in Tijuana, and he has a

547
00:33:27,360 --> 00:33:32,640
Speaker 1: young son, and it's like, you know, one night he's

548
00:33:32,720 --> 00:33:34,600
Speaker 1: bad he's badass, and I was hanging out with and

549
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:37,640
Speaker 1: he has like, well, I see, I'm gonna I'm gonna

550
00:33:37,640 --> 00:33:40,720
Speaker 1: talk about that in the video. He's like, you know,

551
00:33:40,760 --> 00:33:42,560
Speaker 1: I hung out with him for a few days, and

552
00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:45,520
Speaker 1: you know, we go when we do the break dance battle,

553
00:33:45,560 --> 00:33:48,840
Speaker 1: and him and like the other dancers are like hanging

554
00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:51,959
Speaker 1: out drinking afterwards. But you know, everyone's like, you know,

555
00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:56,960
Speaker 1: early thirties, late twenties, and it's like, you know, then

556
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,520
Speaker 1: the next morning we go out to eat, it's him

557
00:33:59,520 --> 00:34:01,680
Speaker 1: and his wife. If he brings his kid, you know,

558
00:34:01,800 --> 00:34:05,880
Speaker 1: he's fucking showing his kid, Bluey and playing with him

559
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:07,960
Speaker 1: and talking to him, and it's like he's there. I'm

560
00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:09,839
Speaker 1: like I'm watching this guy, and I'm like, oh shit,

561
00:34:09,920 --> 00:34:14,960
Speaker 1: you can. You can be a dad and still have

562
00:34:15,000 --> 00:34:18,920
Speaker 1: a life, you know, I think, And yeah, I do

563
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:23,719
Speaker 1: think that's a that's a city thing. I think, Yeah,

564
00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:26,799
Speaker 1: I do think that's like a city a thing.

565
00:34:26,840 --> 00:34:30,480
Speaker 2: Because I remember I wanted to sign up for like

566
00:34:30,600 --> 00:34:33,680
Speaker 2: karate or some ship after school, and my mom was

567
00:34:33,719 --> 00:34:38,920
Speaker 2: always too busy with work anything. So I think it's

568
00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:40,640
Speaker 2: definitely a priorities thing too.

569
00:34:41,239 --> 00:34:44,680
Speaker 1: Mm hmmm, mm hmmm. I mean it's well also it's

570
00:34:44,960 --> 00:34:47,520
Speaker 1: I guess, I guess ideally, and I don't want to

571
00:34:47,520 --> 00:34:49,319
Speaker 1: speak too much about these things because I don't have

572
00:34:49,480 --> 00:34:53,480
Speaker 1: kids yet, but I'm like, you know, but I'm I'm

573
00:34:53,520 --> 00:34:55,279
Speaker 1: thinking I think about these things a lot because I

574
00:34:55,480 --> 00:34:58,520
Speaker 1: I just I know myself and I know that, like

575
00:34:58,640 --> 00:35:02,000
Speaker 1: I just I love doing stuff and I'm probably gonna

576
00:35:02,000 --> 00:35:06,160
Speaker 1: want to like do stuff and live my life and

577
00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:11,640
Speaker 1: be you know, out and about and live in life

578
00:35:11,680 --> 00:35:15,000
Speaker 1: and whatever. Uh probably probably forever for a long time.

579
00:35:16,280 --> 00:35:18,439
Speaker 1: But I also want to have a kid, and I'm

580
00:35:18,480 --> 00:35:21,279
Speaker 1: trying to think about and then you know, I'm like,

581
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:22,319
Speaker 1: I don't know if I can do that, And then

582
00:35:22,320 --> 00:35:25,440
Speaker 1: I meet people who do it, and I'm like, oh, okay,

583
00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:30,920
Speaker 1: there's a lot of different kinds of dads. And also look,

584
00:35:30,960 --> 00:35:34,239
Speaker 1: I mean there's two of you ideally, So it's like,

585
00:35:36,560 --> 00:35:39,520
Speaker 1: I guess arrangements could be made where it's like, hey,

586
00:35:39,600 --> 00:35:41,520
Speaker 1: you know, if you have your thing that you want

587
00:35:41,560 --> 00:35:43,680
Speaker 1: to do at this point in time, and the week

588
00:35:43,719 --> 00:35:45,799
Speaker 1: you go do it, I'll be home and then we'll

589
00:35:46,040 --> 00:35:48,319
Speaker 1: schedule out. This time is a great time. We can

590
00:35:48,360 --> 00:35:50,759
Speaker 1: all be together as a family. And you know, if

591
00:35:50,800 --> 00:35:53,040
Speaker 1: I have a thing I want to do, you you know,

592
00:35:53,120 --> 00:35:55,520
Speaker 1: it's it seems to be a figure outable thing.

593
00:35:57,760 --> 00:36:01,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, totally. I feel so inspired now. I want to

594
00:36:01,120 --> 00:36:02,279
Speaker 2: be a parent, do some ship.

595
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:06,399
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean don't. I mean I think some people ever,

596
00:36:06,520 --> 00:36:09,000
Speaker 1: like you can't just like abandon your kid to go

597
00:36:09,040 --> 00:36:10,440
Speaker 1: to Guatemala or whatever.

598
00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:14,799
Speaker 2: But oh with them, with them, right right?

599
00:36:15,040 --> 00:36:18,400
Speaker 1: I mean I had we had I do a yearly

600
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:24,399
Speaker 1: trip with my friends from home and one of our

601
00:36:24,880 --> 00:36:27,040
Speaker 1: one of them has a kid. You know, he came

602
00:36:27,120 --> 00:36:29,640
Speaker 1: on the trip. It was just it was his first

603
00:36:29,920 --> 00:36:32,880
Speaker 1: his kids really young. It was his first time getting

604
00:36:32,880 --> 00:36:35,560
Speaker 1: to do some ship like that in like six months.

605
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,759
Speaker 1: But a game. You know, he's able to do it.

606
00:36:38,320 --> 00:36:39,479
Speaker 1: He made it. He made it work.

607
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:42,600
Speaker 2: That's so cool.

608
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:47,200
Speaker 1: So what's your husband like do.

609
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:54,320
Speaker 2: He's a full time student and he pretty much hangs

610
00:36:54,360 --> 00:36:57,719
Speaker 2: out with me every day and we're pretty much like

611
00:36:58,360 --> 00:37:02,120
Speaker 2: So we both had like the same thing. We both

612
00:37:02,200 --> 00:37:04,480
Speaker 2: like got out of high school and then went into

613
00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:07,640
Speaker 2: the military really young, so we never had like our

614
00:37:07,640 --> 00:37:10,520
Speaker 2: college years and this is our college years. We're both

615
00:37:12,239 --> 00:37:17,920
Speaker 2: towards thirty and smoking weed every day, studying, playing video games,

616
00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:20,839
Speaker 2: and we have three dogs. We just hang out.

617
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:24,520
Speaker 1: Cool. Well you always, I mean, so your life is

618
00:37:24,560 --> 00:37:28,480
Speaker 1: already semi restricted in some sense that you have three dogs.

619
00:37:28,640 --> 00:37:32,759
Speaker 2: God. Yeah, but we take them a lot of places too.

620
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:39,560
Speaker 1: They were cool. Great, there's a loaded question. Maybe it's

621
00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:41,840
Speaker 1: a person. Why do you feel depressed?

622
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:48,040
Speaker 2: One day last year, I remembered my childhood, so like

623
00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:52,480
Speaker 2: I was an alcoholic from like fourteen to like twenty

624
00:37:52,480 --> 00:37:55,440
Speaker 2: five when I met my husband and then so then

625
00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:57,319
Speaker 2: I was sober for a couple of years, and then

626
00:37:57,760 --> 00:38:02,120
Speaker 2: something clicked and I remembered everything. And it was crazy

627
00:38:02,120 --> 00:38:06,400
Speaker 2: because before that I didn't really remember my childhood, and

628
00:38:06,960 --> 00:38:09,600
Speaker 2: I thought I had a great childhood, perfect parents, and

629
00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:13,480
Speaker 2: then one day I realized that was a fantasy.

630
00:38:14,400 --> 00:38:14,759
Speaker 1: Mm hmm.

631
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:21,400
Speaker 2: But ever since then, well things picked up, Like I

632
00:38:21,440 --> 00:38:25,600
Speaker 2: got some antidepressants and I've never had more energy in

633
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:26,160
Speaker 2: my life.

634
00:38:26,760 --> 00:38:27,440
Speaker 1: Oh good.

635
00:38:28,560 --> 00:38:33,040
Speaker 2: Like the other day I shredded like three boxes of

636
00:38:33,320 --> 00:38:35,960
Speaker 2: papers that needed to be shredded for like years, Like

637
00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:37,080
Speaker 2: I'm doing ship.

638
00:38:39,200 --> 00:38:41,840
Speaker 1: Cool. What do you what can I ask what you're taking? Answer?

639
00:38:41,880 --> 00:38:42,320
Speaker 1: You're taking?

640
00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:49,440
Speaker 2: So this semester. I think I'm taking jazz history and

641
00:38:49,800 --> 00:38:50,320
Speaker 2: what else?

642
00:38:50,880 --> 00:38:53,239
Speaker 1: Oh no, I meant, I meant, I meant, I meant the.

643
00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:58,160
Speaker 2: Meds oh Meds first with the deed. Do Alexaitene?

644
00:38:58,200 --> 00:38:59,920
Speaker 1: I think do Lexatine?

645
00:39:04,239 --> 00:39:07,440
Speaker 2: Uh yeah, I think so.

646
00:39:07,520 --> 00:39:09,120
Speaker 5: Yeah, that one that's cool.

647
00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:11,200
Speaker 1: Has it and it's been it's been good. It's given

648
00:39:11,239 --> 00:39:11,840
Speaker 1: you some energy.

649
00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:16,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, energy, Like before I wasn't able to like take

650
00:39:16,760 --> 00:39:19,399
Speaker 2: a shower by myself, like my husband washed my hair

651
00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:22,200
Speaker 2: for me. But now I can do all that and

652
00:39:22,239 --> 00:39:22,680
Speaker 2: I'm great.

653
00:39:23,680 --> 00:39:28,440
Speaker 1: It's wonderful. Congratulations, thank you, bro. It is It is crazy,

654
00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:30,200
Speaker 1: and I I know I don't shut the fuck up

655
00:39:30,239 --> 00:39:33,759
Speaker 1: about vibance on this podcast, but like it is great.

656
00:39:34,080 --> 00:39:38,880
Speaker 1: It is great to have. Taking prescription drugs is so

657
00:39:39,000 --> 00:39:41,360
Speaker 1: interesting because if you if you find the one that

658
00:39:41,400 --> 00:39:44,160
Speaker 1: works for you, you're just like, oh fuck, I didn't

659
00:39:44,200 --> 00:39:46,840
Speaker 1: realize I didn't realize that this was this didn't I

660
00:39:46,840 --> 00:39:49,120
Speaker 1: didn't realize that this didn't have to be the default

661
00:39:49,200 --> 00:39:50,560
Speaker 1: state of my brain forever.

662
00:39:52,040 --> 00:39:54,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's crazy.

663
00:39:58,040 --> 00:39:59,960
Speaker 1: Do you go to real therapy to talk about like

664
00:40:00,120 --> 00:40:00,919
Speaker 1: childhood shit?

665
00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:05,040
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I'm I guess like three sessions in but

666
00:40:05,560 --> 00:40:07,480
Speaker 2: the therapist hasn't even had a minute to talk. I

667
00:40:07,560 --> 00:40:08,880
Speaker 2: just keep on going on and.

668
00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:11,640
Speaker 1: On and on. Has it been like helpful?

669
00:40:13,800 --> 00:40:18,480
Speaker 2: Actually, you telling us that you journal and chat GPT

670
00:40:18,680 --> 00:40:21,279
Speaker 2: because I waited a year to get a consultation for

671
00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:25,560
Speaker 2: the therapist and so for the meantime I was doing

672
00:40:25,600 --> 00:40:28,680
Speaker 2: the chat GPT and journaling and that's been amazing.

673
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:37,400
Speaker 1: You know, dude, It's it's hard. It's hard because I

674
00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:43,080
Speaker 1: know it's a controversial subject. But like, but like fuck man,

675
00:40:43,200 --> 00:40:46,319
Speaker 1: like it's really good, you know, it is. Really it's like,

676
00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:50,640
Speaker 1: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm I'm I'm sorry. If, by

677
00:40:50,640 --> 00:40:52,440
Speaker 1: the way, I don't I'm not endorsing anything. I just

678
00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:55,560
Speaker 1: say what I do. I just I'm just telling everyone

679
00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:59,359
Speaker 1: what I do, and if you want to do it,

680
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:01,719
Speaker 1: then that's well. I'm just telling you what I do.

681
00:41:01,800 --> 00:41:05,640
Speaker 1: This is a speaking the fact of how I live

682
00:41:05,719 --> 00:41:10,040
Speaker 1: my life. If if it turns out that uh sam

683
00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:15,120
Speaker 1: Oltman is is using all of our uh depression trauma

684
00:41:15,160 --> 00:41:19,200
Speaker 1: dumps to build a robot that kills dogs, then that's

685
00:41:19,280 --> 00:41:22,200
Speaker 1: I'll find I'll find that out. At the same time

686
00:41:22,239 --> 00:41:22,840
Speaker 1: all of you do.

687
00:41:24,320 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 2: Yeah, but we used to use LimeWire, like we're fearless.

688
00:41:31,080 --> 00:41:33,919
Speaker 1: But yeah, it was really helpful. It's like my friend,

689
00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:36,440
Speaker 1: I have a friend who does it too, and he

690
00:41:36,440 --> 00:41:39,359
Speaker 1: he he actually came up with the he. I thought

691
00:41:39,360 --> 00:41:41,360
Speaker 1: it was really genius the way he described it. He

692
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:44,000
Speaker 1: told me it felt like journaling squared.

693
00:41:48,080 --> 00:41:50,880
Speaker 2: I do like that it has questions that asked you

694
00:41:51,239 --> 00:41:51,920
Speaker 2: to think about.

695
00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:54,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not and I don't think I'm not gonna

696
00:41:54,840 --> 00:41:57,840
Speaker 1: go on up whatever, but like it's it's fucking helpful

697
00:41:57,880 --> 00:42:01,200
Speaker 1: because it's like, you know, if I'm going insane at

698
00:42:01,239 --> 00:42:07,919
Speaker 1: three o'clock in the morning, like you know, it's it's it's, it's, it's,

699
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:11,239
Speaker 1: it's there. And again, they might be using they might

700
00:42:11,280 --> 00:42:15,920
Speaker 1: be using all of our ship to train to create

701
00:42:15,960 --> 00:42:20,120
Speaker 1: a mass nuclear weapon, but I you know, that's that's

702
00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:26,480
Speaker 1: beyond me. I have no fucking idea mine anyway. I mean,

703
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:28,600
Speaker 1: has real therapy been cool?

704
00:42:29,760 --> 00:42:32,600
Speaker 2: I don't know. It's just me talking and then the

705
00:42:32,680 --> 00:42:36,000
Speaker 2: lady saying, all right, see you in two weeks for

706
00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:38,800
Speaker 2: more of the story. I guess it was like an intake,

707
00:42:39,360 --> 00:42:43,680
Speaker 2: but the intake's like three sessions long. M hm, Well,

708
00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:46,880
Speaker 2: I guess you taught me some grounding stuff that really helped.

709
00:42:47,000 --> 00:42:49,920
Speaker 2: Oh and then I've been doing somatic yoga. I have

710
00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:53,480
Speaker 2: never been attached to my body before, and it's crazy.

711
00:42:53,480 --> 00:42:58,640
Speaker 2: I was always very clumsy, not able to do things

712
00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:02,600
Speaker 2: with precision with my fingers, like I always dropped wrenches,

713
00:43:03,360 --> 00:43:08,520
Speaker 2: and now I'm able to actually feel my body. It's

714
00:43:08,680 --> 00:43:14,440
Speaker 2: really strange to be like disconnected from your body.

715
00:43:14,560 --> 00:43:17,239
Speaker 1: What what what is the word somatic? Man?

716
00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:22,319
Speaker 2: You'd have to google it. I don't remember, but I

717
00:43:22,360 --> 00:43:25,800
Speaker 2: know it's like a system in your body that needs

718
00:43:26,440 --> 00:43:27,560
Speaker 2: I guess, like regulation.

719
00:43:28,719 --> 00:43:33,759
Speaker 1: Okay, that's cool. What is like somatic yoga? What do

720
00:43:33,760 --> 00:43:34,480
Speaker 1: you actually like do?

721
00:43:35,560 --> 00:43:39,719
Speaker 2: It's just yoga stretches that last way longer and you

722
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:44,200
Speaker 2: like breathe more breadths in between, and it just releases

723
00:43:44,560 --> 00:43:46,720
Speaker 2: tension that you have built up in your body.

724
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:53,960
Speaker 1: Cool. Cool, I like that. I'm sorry to hear. Well,

725
00:43:54,040 --> 00:43:56,040
Speaker 1: I don't know. Actually I don't know what I am

726
00:43:56,080 --> 00:43:59,799
Speaker 1: because you sound you sound like you sound like you're

727
00:43:59,840 --> 00:44:03,239
Speaker 1: on I mean, this is just a just a personal

728
00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:06,480
Speaker 1: observation from the forty three minutes that we've been talking.

729
00:44:06,480 --> 00:44:10,359
Speaker 1: But it sounds like you're on a upward trajectory.

730
00:44:11,640 --> 00:44:14,440
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, things looking like I'm a homeowner. My car's

731
00:44:14,560 --> 00:44:19,279
Speaker 2: paid off. I'm not in school debt like I'm hanging out.

732
00:44:19,840 --> 00:44:24,040
Speaker 2: I just need to be in the moment and enjoy it.

733
00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:26,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I hope you've become less depressed.

734
00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:29,360
Speaker 2: Thank you you as well.

735
00:44:29,960 --> 00:44:31,960
Speaker 1: And I hope you. I hope you don't stop feeling

736
00:44:31,960 --> 00:44:35,000
Speaker 1: old because you know what, By the way, you know

737
00:44:35,040 --> 00:44:39,080
Speaker 1: what it is is I have something what helps me

738
00:44:39,239 --> 00:44:41,640
Speaker 1: feel not old is what is looking at people who

739
00:44:41,680 --> 00:44:46,960
Speaker 1: are actually old. Like like I was walking down I

740
00:44:47,040 --> 00:44:53,120
Speaker 1: was walking down the street in uh Manhattan yesterday and

741
00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:55,080
Speaker 1: I saw a dude must have been in like his

742
00:44:55,200 --> 00:45:06,120
Speaker 1: late fifties, and he had a backpack. You can be,

743
00:45:06,239 --> 00:45:08,160
Speaker 1: you can be in your life and I had a backpack.

744
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:13,800
Speaker 1: And it's like me and this guy are both walking

745
00:45:13,920 --> 00:45:18,239
Speaker 1: through New York with a fucking backpack. You know what

746
00:45:18,280 --> 00:45:19,840
Speaker 1: I mean, Like you can do it. You can be

747
00:45:20,920 --> 00:45:25,080
Speaker 1: in your late fifties walking through a city with a

748
00:45:25,280 --> 00:45:28,879
Speaker 1: fucking backpack. I got like I got at least I'm

749
00:45:28,920 --> 00:45:32,120
Speaker 1: twenty seven. I have done in double the amount of

750
00:45:32,160 --> 00:45:34,600
Speaker 1: time I've been a lot. He's like he is a backpack.

751
00:45:34,760 --> 00:45:36,279
Speaker 1: Like I saw this. I swear to God, I saw

752
00:45:36,320 --> 00:45:39,000
Speaker 1: this guy. I don't know why I said, I swear

753
00:45:39,000 --> 00:45:41,239
Speaker 1: to God. As if I'm like describing seeing the lock

754
00:45:41,280 --> 00:45:43,440
Speaker 1: of Monster. But that is what it felt like for me.

755
00:45:43,640 --> 00:45:46,400
Speaker 1: I know, I'm actually, I'm actually serious. I saw this

756
00:45:46,440 --> 00:45:50,160
Speaker 1: fucking guy walking. He must have been fifty five years old,

757
00:45:50,680 --> 00:45:59,640
Speaker 1: that's me times two, and he was he was walking

758
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:02,680
Speaker 1: down the street with a backpack, and he like looked

759
00:46:02,680 --> 00:46:06,440
Speaker 1: at his watch, and I was and I saw him,

760
00:46:06,480 --> 00:46:08,480
Speaker 1: and I was like, look at this guy. This guy's

761
00:46:08,480 --> 00:46:11,680
Speaker 1: double my age walking down the street with a backpack,

762
00:46:11,800 --> 00:46:14,600
Speaker 1: and he's got he's got places to be. He's alive.

763
00:46:14,680 --> 00:46:18,240
Speaker 1: He's not fucking dead. You know, he's he's he's living,

764
00:46:18,280 --> 00:46:20,799
Speaker 1: he's doing it. I don't know what he's on his

765
00:46:20,840 --> 00:46:26,560
Speaker 1: way to. He might be on his way to collapse

766
00:46:26,719 --> 00:46:31,160
Speaker 1: the agricultural industry or something, but he's he's living his life,

767
00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:34,920
Speaker 1: you know, he's he's there. So we're I think we

768
00:46:35,040 --> 00:46:38,360
Speaker 1: still got a lot more time left to you know,

769
00:46:38,600 --> 00:46:41,120
Speaker 1: we can. We can hang out with people our age

770
00:46:41,239 --> 00:46:45,879
Speaker 1: and get high in cars for a good fifty three

771
00:46:45,920 --> 00:46:46,920
Speaker 1: more years probably.

772
00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:51,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so funny. My grandpa, he's like, I forgot

773
00:46:51,080 --> 00:46:52,879
Speaker 2: how old he is. He was born in thirty eight.

774
00:46:53,320 --> 00:46:56,800
Speaker 2: I can't do math right now. He cuts his grass

775
00:46:56,840 --> 00:47:00,359
Speaker 2: like every other day because he's so bored and he's

776
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:07,080
Speaker 2: just out there making his own I guess jobs to

777
00:47:07,120 --> 00:47:11,759
Speaker 2: do by fucking up his house. Like one day he

778
00:47:11,800 --> 00:47:16,280
Speaker 2: went to go clean the inside glass of the oven door,

779
00:47:17,160 --> 00:47:19,320
Speaker 2: the glass that you're not supposed to get in between,

780
00:47:19,840 --> 00:47:22,879
Speaker 2: and he sucked up his whole oven and he made

781
00:47:22,880 --> 00:47:26,279
Speaker 2: a whole new project to install a new one.

782
00:47:26,880 --> 00:47:30,359
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's just bored. But you don't have to live

783
00:47:30,400 --> 00:47:34,880
Speaker 1: that way. Like I think, like like growing up, like

784
00:47:34,960 --> 00:47:38,840
Speaker 1: you say, like when I look up, like my my,

785
00:47:38,840 --> 00:47:42,880
Speaker 1: my dad hasn't been where I don't know. You know

786
00:47:42,920 --> 00:47:45,040
Speaker 1: why I focus on the backpack thing is because I

787
00:47:45,200 --> 00:47:48,279
Speaker 1: just a backpack is just such a A backpack is

788
00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:51,640
Speaker 1: a young man's game. You know. When I saw this

789
00:47:51,680 --> 00:47:54,120
Speaker 1: older guy with a backpack, I was like, that's crazy.

790
00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:57,319
Speaker 1: This is fucking like my what my dad was. My

791
00:47:57,400 --> 00:48:00,000
Speaker 1: dad's in his sixties. He's not walking on the side.

792
00:48:00,040 --> 00:48:03,320
Speaker 1: I'd walk with a backpack, but here's this guys in

793
00:48:03,360 --> 00:48:06,080
Speaker 1: the sixties he's walking. Yeah. I always yeah, right, I

794
00:48:06,120 --> 00:48:09,680
Speaker 1: always imagine like once you pass the I was like,

795
00:48:09,719 --> 00:48:12,560
Speaker 1: once you pass a certain age, it's all briefcases, no backpacks.

796
00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:14,399
Speaker 1: But it's like you can do it. You can, you can,

797
00:48:14,480 --> 00:48:19,439
Speaker 1: you can't. You don't have to age out of the backpack, right.

798
00:48:19,560 --> 00:48:22,120
Speaker 2: It's like like the other day asking my husband like,

799
00:48:22,200 --> 00:48:26,160
Speaker 2: are we like really adults, Like we're twenty nine? We're well,

800
00:48:26,200 --> 00:48:30,440
Speaker 2: I'm twenty nine and homeowners, Like this is like what

801
00:48:30,520 --> 00:48:35,840
Speaker 2: it is to be an adult, Like that's crazy to

802
00:48:35,960 --> 00:48:39,560
Speaker 2: things like when I was a child, my parent is

803
00:48:39,600 --> 00:48:44,000
Speaker 2: twenty nine, Like that's just so crazy. They were so immature, right,

804
00:48:44,400 --> 00:48:48,080
Speaker 2: and they were in charge of people's lives.

805
00:48:48,239 --> 00:48:50,400
Speaker 1: I think you, I think once you get to a

806
00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:52,960
Speaker 1: certain age, you realize that adulthood is somewhat of.

807
00:48:52,920 --> 00:48:55,359
Speaker 2: A myth, anti clematic.

808
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:59,600
Speaker 1: It's anti climatic. You die not ever knowing the answers

809
00:48:59,640 --> 00:49:02,640
Speaker 1: to any thing. I think. I I think I've determined that.

810
00:49:04,080 --> 00:49:08,239
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, seriously, it's anti climatic. And people talk it

811
00:49:08,320 --> 00:49:12,320
Speaker 2: up too much, like they need to take take it away.

812
00:49:13,520 --> 00:49:16,120
Speaker 2: I still don't even understand what it is to be

813
00:49:16,160 --> 00:49:20,200
Speaker 2: an adult, Like I don't feel like one, but clearly

814
00:49:20,239 --> 00:49:22,880
Speaker 2: I am one. Maybe it's imposter syndrome.

815
00:49:22,960 --> 00:49:27,800
Speaker 1: I don't know, what's your name again?

816
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:31,240
Speaker 2: Said you wanted to stop?

817
00:49:33,640 --> 00:49:39,719
Speaker 1: Yeah, Erica, Okay. I really enjoyed having this conversation with you.

818
00:49:39,760 --> 00:49:42,439
Speaker 6: This was fun, Yeah, a great same.

819
00:49:45,719 --> 00:49:47,799
Speaker 1: Let's see, is there anything else you want to talk

820
00:49:47,800 --> 00:49:49,960
Speaker 1: about before we go? Or you do? Do you think

821
00:49:50,000 --> 00:49:54,759
Speaker 1: we you think we covered all the bases, we can

822
00:49:54,880 --> 00:49:55,600
Speaker 1: keep on going.

823
00:49:55,760 --> 00:50:01,200
Speaker 2: But I forgot so I have been self isolating, and

824
00:50:01,360 --> 00:50:04,160
Speaker 2: I made plans tonight and I'm gonna keep them and

825
00:50:04,239 --> 00:50:05,760
Speaker 2: actually go instead of cancel.

826
00:50:06,080 --> 00:50:06,799
Speaker 1: Oh please do?

827
00:50:07,920 --> 00:50:13,959
Speaker 2: Yes your plans for callers?

828
00:50:15,920 --> 00:50:16,840
Speaker 1: What are the plans?

829
00:50:18,160 --> 00:50:21,080
Speaker 2: Going to eat Mexican food with?

830
00:50:21,160 --> 00:50:21,359
Speaker 1: Who?

831
00:50:22,480 --> 00:50:25,400
Speaker 2: With a girl from BUMBLEBSF Cool?

832
00:50:25,920 --> 00:50:28,320
Speaker 1: Well, I'm surprised you've been self isolating because you strike

833
00:50:28,480 --> 00:50:32,160
Speaker 1: me as like an extroverted person. If you're like walking

834
00:50:32,160 --> 00:50:38,640
Speaker 1: around the campus trying to talk to people, I'm trying.

835
00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:41,520
Speaker 2: To be extroverted just to help out, you know.

836
00:50:43,960 --> 00:50:47,440
Speaker 1: Well, good, I'm glad you're Yeah, self isolating is bad.

837
00:50:49,560 --> 00:50:51,240
Speaker 2: Yes, already, Well thank.

838
00:50:51,120 --> 00:50:54,200
Speaker 1: You going, we'll drive you insane. You know that guy

839
00:50:54,239 --> 00:51:02,160
Speaker 1: Brian Johnson, No, well, there's like a this is this guy.

840
00:51:02,320 --> 00:51:05,400
Speaker 1: He's trying to live forever. But and the way he

841
00:51:05,600 --> 00:51:07,480
Speaker 1: and the way and I think I heard him say

842
00:51:07,480 --> 00:51:10,319
Speaker 1: some shit like I get at least thirty minutes of

843
00:51:10,360 --> 00:51:13,960
Speaker 1: social social activity every day, Like it's like uh, like

844
00:51:14,040 --> 00:51:17,360
Speaker 1: calculated and shit, you know, it's important to not die.

845
00:51:19,200 --> 00:51:20,239
Speaker 2: He should stream this.

846
00:51:21,480 --> 00:51:23,640
Speaker 1: He probably is. I don't know. I shouldn't. I shouldn't

847
00:51:23,640 --> 00:51:26,400
Speaker 1: even bring him up because I actually don't know anything

848
00:51:26,440 --> 00:51:29,040
Speaker 1: really that much about him. But I hope you enjoy

849
00:51:29,040 --> 00:51:29,840
Speaker 1: your Mexican food.

850
00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:32,040
Speaker 2: Erica, thank you?

851
00:51:32,600 --> 00:51:34,560
Speaker 1: Okay, anything else you want to say to the people

852
00:51:34,560 --> 00:51:35,279
Speaker 1: of the computer.

853
00:51:35,000 --> 00:51:39,920
Speaker 2: Before we go, and keep your plans. Everybody get outside.

854
00:51:39,840 --> 00:51:46,759
Speaker 1: Beautiful, good luck Erica, Thank you, bye bye. I really

855
00:51:46,800 --> 00:51:51,560
Speaker 1: enjoyed talking her. That was nice. That was cool. Keep

856
00:51:52,680 --> 00:51:57,200
Speaker 1: keep keep living life, keep doing things.

857
00:51:57,960 --> 00:52:02,000
Speaker 3: Thanks for calling, man, thanks for picking up. You get

858
00:52:02,000 --> 00:52:02,879
Speaker 3: a chance to read it.

859
00:52:03,200 --> 00:52:05,520
Speaker 1: No, what's your name? What's what's what's up?

860
00:52:05,800 --> 00:52:08,760
Speaker 3: Uh yeah, yeah, okay, I'm gonna go by otter.

861
00:52:12,080 --> 00:52:12,319
Speaker 2: Yeah.

862
00:52:12,360 --> 00:52:16,719
Speaker 3: I haven't prepared anything. Uh but I wanted to call

863
00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:22,000
Speaker 3: in today because my life has been pretty crazy since

864
00:52:22,520 --> 00:52:27,040
Speaker 3: uh you know, maybe the last few years, and some

865
00:52:27,120 --> 00:52:30,440
Speaker 3: of that craziness has helped me kind of like blossom

866
00:52:30,600 --> 00:52:35,239
Speaker 3: as an adult and like my life has ended up

867
00:52:35,280 --> 00:52:41,360
Speaker 3: being pretty good and uh man, but I guess I

868
00:52:41,400 --> 00:52:49,080
Speaker 3: can start so you know my Oh gosh, I'm like

869
00:52:49,160 --> 00:52:49,920
Speaker 3: kind of nervous.

870
00:52:49,920 --> 00:52:50,120
Speaker 5: Man.

871
00:52:50,239 --> 00:52:53,440
Speaker 3: I know there is low stakes and all damn talking

872
00:52:53,480 --> 00:52:57,560
Speaker 3: to the therapy get go. Are you still there?

873
00:52:57,680 --> 00:53:01,279
Speaker 1: It's yeah, talking to the therapy get is about as

874
00:53:01,320 --> 00:53:03,760
Speaker 1: low stakes as it sounds.

875
00:53:03,960 --> 00:53:09,680
Speaker 3: I know, man, So yeah, I you know, growing up,

876
00:53:10,160 --> 00:53:12,960
Speaker 3: you know, Okay, I guess for reference, let me give

877
00:53:13,000 --> 00:53:17,640
Speaker 3: you the two long TLDR. Here. I'm thirty one now,

878
00:53:18,320 --> 00:53:24,640
Speaker 3: and I, you know, very recently just got my life

879
00:53:24,680 --> 00:53:27,640
Speaker 3: together a little bit. I you know, haven't been in

880
00:53:27,719 --> 00:53:33,439
Speaker 3: a lot of relationships. You know, was very shy, and

881
00:53:34,320 --> 00:53:38,600
Speaker 3: you know, I basically lost my virginity at age twenty nine.

882
00:53:40,320 --> 00:53:45,759
Speaker 3: And yeah, yeah, and you know it. I I've moved

883
00:53:45,760 --> 00:53:49,239
Speaker 3: in with girlfriends and I've been with her now for

884
00:53:49,320 --> 00:53:52,799
Speaker 3: over a year. So the thing that kind of led

885
00:53:52,840 --> 00:53:56,520
Speaker 3: me here is so growing up, I was very shy.

886
00:53:56,680 --> 00:53:58,920
Speaker 3: I was like kind of afraid of to talk to women,

887
00:54:00,000 --> 00:54:03,799
Speaker 3: which sounds weird, but like, you know, it was just

888
00:54:03,800 --> 00:54:07,880
Speaker 3: a thing that you know, felt very unnatural to me,

889
00:54:08,560 --> 00:54:11,560
Speaker 3: and I took a lot of practice to kind of,

890
00:54:11,880 --> 00:54:16,200
Speaker 3: you know, do this. And I also worked really intense

891
00:54:16,320 --> 00:54:19,920
Speaker 3: like jobs at startups. I'm like a software engineer, and

892
00:54:20,040 --> 00:54:23,960
Speaker 3: like I was working my ass off, and I really

893
00:54:23,960 --> 00:54:27,960
Speaker 3: didn't have a lot of time to socialize in college

894
00:54:28,200 --> 00:54:33,839
Speaker 3: or when I graduated, and then fucking COVID happened, and

895
00:54:33,880 --> 00:54:36,359
Speaker 3: that was even like fewer opportunities to hang out with

896
00:54:36,400 --> 00:54:40,800
Speaker 3: people and talk, and like, dude, I just like started

897
00:54:40,800 --> 00:54:45,600
Speaker 3: to develop like the worst anxiety and like just kind

898
00:54:45,640 --> 00:54:51,279
Speaker 3: of just feelings of loneliness and you know, spending a

899
00:54:51,320 --> 00:54:55,160
Speaker 3: lot of time alone, I started to develop like really

900
00:54:55,200 --> 00:55:01,399
Speaker 3: bad and Sammie and Ship and and then the real

901
00:55:01,480 --> 00:55:09,439
Speaker 3: kicker is in twenty twenty two. Winter of twenty twenty two,

902
00:55:10,719 --> 00:55:17,200
Speaker 3: my mom was diagnosed with cancer and she ended up

903
00:55:17,280 --> 00:55:24,759
Speaker 3: passing eleven months later. And honestly, it was like the

904
00:55:24,840 --> 00:55:28,120
Speaker 3: hardest thing that I had ever been through. You know,

905
00:55:28,160 --> 00:55:31,640
Speaker 3: I had moved home from COVID, and then while my

906
00:55:31,680 --> 00:55:35,880
Speaker 3: mom was sick, I you know, stayed home and helped

907
00:55:35,920 --> 00:55:40,200
Speaker 3: care for her. So it was just really like not

908
00:55:40,320 --> 00:55:41,279
Speaker 3: a good place, man. I.

909
00:55:41,440 --> 00:55:42,319
Speaker 2: I I.

910
00:55:44,239 --> 00:55:46,880
Speaker 3: Was very alone, and I was dealing with, you know,

911
00:55:46,920 --> 00:55:50,279
Speaker 3: the trauma of caring for this my very sick mother.

912
00:55:52,000 --> 00:55:58,880
Speaker 3: And you know, after she passed, I finally moved, you

913
00:55:58,880 --> 00:56:01,439
Speaker 3: know out of my family's house after like two years

914
00:56:01,480 --> 00:56:07,880
Speaker 3: of living there, and you know, I basically entered a

915
00:56:07,960 --> 00:56:11,680
Speaker 3: very dark depression because you know, I had been very

916
00:56:11,719 --> 00:56:16,000
Speaker 3: reliant on family for those past two years, and I

917
00:56:16,080 --> 00:56:20,040
Speaker 3: ended up moving alone and now I'm like alone with

918
00:56:20,160 --> 00:56:26,640
Speaker 3: four walls around me, and basically, you know, I am

919
00:56:26,680 --> 00:56:30,920
Speaker 3: I'm dealing with all this trauma that I had experienced

920
00:56:30,960 --> 00:56:37,359
Speaker 3: over the last year. I ended up having lots of problems,

921
00:56:38,360 --> 00:56:41,359
Speaker 3: and like maybe a few months into it, like I

922
00:56:41,480 --> 00:56:43,680
Speaker 3: just just like realized, like I don't want to kill

923
00:56:43,719 --> 00:56:46,160
Speaker 3: myself right now, but if I don't do anything, I'm

924
00:56:46,160 --> 00:56:50,600
Speaker 3: probably gonna want to kill myself. So I ended up

925
00:56:50,760 --> 00:56:53,960
Speaker 3: like calling the doctor's office and being like, Hi, I'm

926
00:56:54,080 --> 00:56:57,880
Speaker 3: very depressed and I can't sleep, Please help me. And

927
00:56:58,000 --> 00:57:00,640
Speaker 3: from that I ended up going to like actually therapy,

928
00:57:01,320 --> 00:57:06,680
Speaker 3: uh and I ended up starting on like lexicro and

929
00:57:05,920 --> 00:57:10,400
Speaker 3: uh man, that did a lot for me, you know,

930
00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:15,320
Speaker 3: really just like kind of like overnight, like I started

931
00:57:15,360 --> 00:57:20,000
Speaker 3: to feel a lot better than shit. I you know,

932
00:57:20,480 --> 00:57:26,160
Speaker 3: ended up being able to sleep more, ended up like

933
00:57:26,840 --> 00:57:29,280
Speaker 3: just not feeling like there was a gorilla on my

934
00:57:29,320 --> 00:57:31,800
Speaker 3: back all the time, and I was able to like

935
00:57:32,320 --> 00:57:36,840
Speaker 3: just like start enjoying my life again. And by the way,

936
00:57:37,000 --> 00:57:39,400
Speaker 3: still a virgin at this time. Still dating is out

937
00:57:39,440 --> 00:57:43,200
Speaker 3: of the question. But like you know, I was always

938
00:57:43,200 --> 00:57:46,120
Speaker 3: really big into the gym, and I started taking it

939
00:57:46,160 --> 00:57:51,240
Speaker 3: even more seriously, and like, you know, in a past episode,

940
00:57:51,280 --> 00:57:54,160
Speaker 3: you know, you kept talking about how you don't believe,

941
00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:56,680
Speaker 3: Like I think you corrected yourself, but you were like, oh,

942
00:57:56,680 --> 00:57:59,800
Speaker 3: I don't believe theta of your future self, And like

943
00:58:00,000 --> 00:58:02,560
Speaker 3: when I moved that, I was like, dude, that can't be,

944
00:58:02,640 --> 00:58:07,080
Speaker 3: Like that is so untrue because like, you know, obviously

945
00:58:07,160 --> 00:58:09,320
Speaker 3: what you're doing, you want to be authentic, you know

946
00:58:09,360 --> 00:58:11,320
Speaker 3: what I mean, You want to be authentic to yourself.

947
00:58:12,040 --> 00:58:15,280
Speaker 3: But like, I really think you can be authentic to

948
00:58:15,320 --> 00:58:17,640
Speaker 3: yourself and be like that's the kind of person I

949
00:58:17,680 --> 00:58:19,760
Speaker 3: want to be, and then go out and achieve it,

950
00:58:19,840 --> 00:58:20,520
Speaker 3: you know what I mean?

951
00:58:20,840 --> 00:58:23,160
Speaker 1: You know it's I'm actually I just want to say,

952
00:58:23,160 --> 00:58:26,160
Speaker 1: I'm so glad that you heard me say that and

953
00:58:27,200 --> 00:58:32,040
Speaker 1: vehemently disagreed with it, because well, the I don't I'm

954
00:58:32,040 --> 00:58:33,840
Speaker 1: not going to go on a long philosophical rant because

955
00:58:33,840 --> 00:58:37,640
Speaker 1: I want to let you finish your story. But I

956
00:58:38,320 --> 00:58:42,920
Speaker 1: think in the grand like there's you know what it is,

957
00:58:43,160 --> 00:58:46,200
Speaker 1: there's like lenses through which you can say that there

958
00:58:46,280 --> 00:58:48,760
Speaker 1: is no future self and that time is flat and

959
00:58:49,080 --> 00:58:51,760
Speaker 1: blah blah blah blah, blah whatever, But we don't really

960
00:58:51,960 --> 00:59:00,600
Speaker 1: live in that lens. We live in normal ass human life,

961
00:59:00,600 --> 00:59:02,920
Speaker 1: and in normalized human life. I do agree there is

962
00:59:02,960 --> 00:59:05,080
Speaker 1: a future self. I've come around to the fact that

963
00:59:05,120 --> 00:59:08,800
Speaker 1: there is absolutely a future self. So I'm I'm with

964
00:59:08,880 --> 00:59:09,320
Speaker 1: you on that.

965
00:59:10,280 --> 00:59:14,840
Speaker 3: Okay, okay, yeah, because I don't know. I somehow like

966
00:59:15,080 --> 00:59:18,200
Speaker 3: pulling out of this dark depression and going to the

967
00:59:18,240 --> 00:59:22,560
Speaker 3: gym more and like being more social really led me

968
00:59:22,600 --> 00:59:25,959
Speaker 3: to this like place in my life where I felt

969
00:59:25,960 --> 00:59:29,760
Speaker 3: like I was ready to start like finding someone to like,

970
00:59:30,560 --> 00:59:34,560
Speaker 3: you know, uh, find someone who loves me and I

971
00:59:34,600 --> 00:59:39,800
Speaker 3: love that, you know, and you know, I It was

972
00:59:39,840 --> 00:59:43,360
Speaker 3: really weird, like I went from like basically being like

973
00:59:43,800 --> 00:59:47,000
Speaker 3: my quote unquote old self and then in like one

974
00:59:47,040 --> 00:59:50,880
Speaker 3: week I did this. I went on I went to

975
00:59:51,000 --> 00:59:53,280
Speaker 3: speed dating. Of all things, I went to a speed

976
00:59:53,360 --> 00:59:57,480
Speaker 3: dating event, and at the same time, I also like

977
00:59:57,600 --> 01:00:00,560
Speaker 3: decided to ask the number of this woman at like

978
01:00:00,640 --> 01:00:04,760
Speaker 3: a tropical smoothie cafe who's pretty hot and seemed pretty cool,

979
01:00:05,520 --> 01:00:09,720
Speaker 3: and like both of those like extreme. It's like, you know,

980
01:00:09,840 --> 01:00:12,800
Speaker 3: relatively extreme things for me kind of like busted me

981
01:00:12,800 --> 01:00:15,240
Speaker 3: out of my shell. I downloaded the apps and I

982
01:00:15,320 --> 01:00:18,560
Speaker 3: was like like, I know the apps can be kind

983
01:00:18,560 --> 01:00:21,520
Speaker 3: of shitty, but like what a time to be alive, right,

984
01:00:21,720 --> 01:00:27,240
Speaker 3: Like you can just meet people. And I ended up

985
01:00:27,320 --> 01:00:30,919
Speaker 3: like literally going on at least one date per week

986
01:00:31,080 --> 01:00:33,800
Speaker 3: and usually two dates per week for about three months.

987
01:00:34,720 --> 01:00:37,640
Speaker 3: And like no, and like I don't think I'm a

988
01:00:37,640 --> 01:00:40,800
Speaker 3: particularly good looking guy, but like, you know, if you

989
01:00:40,880 --> 01:00:45,720
Speaker 3: have a good profile and you like you know, you know,

990
01:00:46,240 --> 01:00:50,400
Speaker 3: show other people you give a fuck, you know, shit can.

991
01:00:50,320 --> 01:00:51,800
Speaker 1: Happen, you know, beautiful.

992
01:00:53,520 --> 01:00:58,080
Speaker 3: Yeah, and like I ended up finding someone. It didn't

993
01:00:58,120 --> 01:01:00,000
Speaker 3: work out with them for very long. It was like

994
01:01:00,040 --> 01:01:03,280
Speaker 3: a pretty crappy you know, three months, but no, it

995
01:01:03,320 --> 01:01:05,640
Speaker 3: wasn't crappy. It was my first relationship. I ended up

996
01:01:05,680 --> 01:01:10,680
Speaker 3: losing my V card. But yeah, I mean it ended

997
01:01:10,760 --> 01:01:13,960
Speaker 3: up being like the right experience I needed to go

998
01:01:14,080 --> 01:01:18,200
Speaker 3: and find something more serious. But yeah, I mean I've

999
01:01:18,240 --> 01:01:22,400
Speaker 3: been with this lady now for uh well, like you know,

1000
01:01:22,640 --> 01:01:23,880
Speaker 3: almost like a year and a half.

1001
01:01:23,920 --> 01:01:24,160
Speaker 2: Now.

1002
01:01:24,600 --> 01:01:27,240
Speaker 3: I moved with her. Yeah, I moved in with her.

1003
01:01:27,840 --> 01:01:31,080
Speaker 3: And like, you know, just as a PSA for anybody,

1004
01:01:31,080 --> 01:01:34,040
Speaker 3: you know, if you're ever going through something like incredibly hard,

1005
01:01:34,160 --> 01:01:37,760
Speaker 3: like you know, lewising someone you're caring about or you

1006
01:01:37,800 --> 01:01:42,560
Speaker 3: know someone who is ill. You know, even if you

1007
01:01:42,600 --> 01:01:46,360
Speaker 3: feel like you're you got this gorilla on your back,

1008
01:01:46,440 --> 01:01:52,360
Speaker 3: you know you can always life can open up in

1009
01:01:52,440 --> 01:01:55,040
Speaker 3: ways that you don't expect, and things can change really

1010
01:01:55,080 --> 01:01:55,840
Speaker 3: really fast.

1011
01:01:57,680 --> 01:02:01,640
Speaker 1: I love a good I love a good life. That's amazing.

1012
01:02:01,720 --> 01:02:05,640
Speaker 1: That's wonderful. Yeah, man, that's so cool. And so you're

1013
01:02:05,960 --> 01:02:07,080
Speaker 1: you're thirty one now, right?

1014
01:02:08,160 --> 01:02:08,760
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1015
01:02:08,880 --> 01:02:14,120
Speaker 1: Okay cool? And so I mean, what do you think

1016
01:02:14,160 --> 01:02:14,440
Speaker 1: it is?

1017
01:02:14,520 --> 01:02:14,680
Speaker 5: Right?

1018
01:02:14,800 --> 01:02:17,160
Speaker 1: Was it like the was it like the therapy? Was it?

1019
01:02:17,320 --> 01:02:20,880
Speaker 1: The pills? Was it? The combinator? The gym? Was it?

1020
01:02:20,960 --> 01:02:23,720
Speaker 1: And an amalagam of a million different things? Like how

1021
01:02:23,760 --> 01:02:25,160
Speaker 1: do you how do you explain it?

1022
01:02:25,320 --> 01:02:25,480
Speaker 4: You know?

1023
01:02:26,000 --> 01:02:31,520
Speaker 3: The way I think about it is, you know, sometimes

1024
01:02:31,520 --> 01:02:33,720
Speaker 3: you need to hit kind of like a rock bottom

1025
01:02:34,040 --> 01:02:38,120
Speaker 3: in order to climb totally. And like I kind of

1026
01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:41,880
Speaker 3: felt that I had hit my own rock bottom and

1027
01:02:42,040 --> 01:02:48,760
Speaker 3: like just the suckiness of like losing my mom and

1028
01:02:47,880 --> 01:02:54,040
Speaker 3: uh and like you know that time alone after because

1029
01:02:54,120 --> 01:02:56,320
Speaker 3: like I had been living at home for two years

1030
01:02:57,040 --> 01:02:59,880
Speaker 3: and just like being alone again was just such a

1031
01:03:00,080 --> 01:03:03,880
Speaker 3: fucked up saying after like you know, uh, caring for

1032
01:03:03,920 --> 01:03:10,640
Speaker 3: my mother and like that rock bottom allowed me to climb,

1033
01:03:11,000 --> 01:03:13,640
Speaker 3: and like, honestly, I've been like kind of riding that

1034
01:03:13,760 --> 01:03:16,240
Speaker 3: high since and I, you know, like, sure, I still

1035
01:03:16,280 --> 01:03:19,000
Speaker 3: have some shitty days. Sure, I like have some dark

1036
01:03:19,080 --> 01:03:24,640
Speaker 3: moments here or there, but like, excuse me, you know,

1037
01:03:25,200 --> 01:03:29,440
Speaker 3: I still kind of feel like I'm riding that high.

1038
01:03:30,120 --> 01:03:32,920
Speaker 1: I I guess you know what's funny is back to

1039
01:03:33,000 --> 01:03:38,640
Speaker 1: the conversation about the future self is uh, and is

1040
01:03:38,720 --> 01:03:44,200
Speaker 1: like I used to also believe it, yeah again, that

1041
01:03:44,240 --> 01:03:46,960
Speaker 1: there was no future self, But I lately have been

1042
01:03:46,960 --> 01:03:49,120
Speaker 1: feeling the best I've been feeling in a long time.

1043
01:03:49,840 --> 01:03:52,520
Speaker 1: And I always kind of hear that I appreciate you

1044
01:03:52,520 --> 01:03:56,400
Speaker 1: saying that, and I always, I always fucking knew I

1045
01:03:56,440 --> 01:03:58,680
Speaker 1: would get there. I always knew I would get there.

1046
01:03:58,920 --> 01:04:02,920
Speaker 1: And then I would read all the fucking philosophical bullshit

1047
01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:04,600
Speaker 1: about how there is no there and there is no

1048
01:04:04,680 --> 01:04:07,480
Speaker 1: future self, and I know what it means. I get it,

1049
01:04:08,120 --> 01:04:10,640
Speaker 1: and who knows how long we're gonna, you know, be

1050
01:04:10,680 --> 01:04:15,120
Speaker 1: feeling like this, But yeah, man, no, I feel my

1051
01:04:15,240 --> 01:04:20,360
Speaker 1: life feels very different mentally than it has in the past.

1052
01:04:21,240 --> 01:04:21,360
Speaker 3: Uh.

1053
01:04:21,840 --> 01:04:25,320
Speaker 1: You know then it did like uh one, two, three,

1054
01:04:25,880 --> 01:04:29,960
Speaker 1: four years ago, and I am I am the future self.

1055
01:04:30,120 --> 01:04:34,920
Speaker 1: I'm the future self. By definition, it's true, and so

1056
01:04:35,120 --> 01:04:38,200
Speaker 1: I don't know. But I don't know. I haven't I

1057
01:04:38,640 --> 01:04:42,960
Speaker 1: haven't lived long enough to have asked me again when

1058
01:04:43,000 --> 01:04:45,440
Speaker 1: I'm eighty, if I'm lucky enough to make it to eighty,

1059
01:04:46,000 --> 01:04:48,080
Speaker 1: if I believe in a future self, or I believe

1060
01:04:48,120 --> 01:04:50,880
Speaker 1: in it there, because who knows. I mean, it's a grand,

1061
01:04:50,960 --> 01:04:53,160
Speaker 1: crazy roller coaster and you never know what the fuck

1062
01:04:53,520 --> 01:04:57,320
Speaker 1: each day could bring. So I don't know, but I'm

1063
01:04:57,360 --> 01:05:02,000
Speaker 1: happy for you that you feel good, and yeah, it's great,

1064
01:05:02,360 --> 01:05:05,920
Speaker 1: it's great. I don't know. The more the more I

1065
01:05:05,920 --> 01:05:09,280
Speaker 1: I live my life and go through ups and downs

1066
01:05:09,280 --> 01:05:10,960
Speaker 1: and talk to other people about it, the more I

1067
01:05:11,040 --> 01:05:14,880
Speaker 1: just I just don't know. But what do you? Yeah,

1068
01:05:14,920 --> 01:05:16,680
Speaker 1: you can ask me whatever you want.

1069
01:05:17,240 --> 01:05:19,240
Speaker 3: Uh, sorry, I'm totally changing gears.

1070
01:05:19,600 --> 01:05:19,920
Speaker 1: Go ahead.

1071
01:05:21,080 --> 01:05:24,560
Speaker 3: I was gonna say, uh, what is your favorite thing

1072
01:05:24,600 --> 01:05:25,640
Speaker 3: at Taco Bell right now?

1073
01:05:26,160 --> 01:05:28,600
Speaker 1: My favorite thing at Taco Bell right right now. I'm

1074
01:05:28,640 --> 01:05:30,760
Speaker 1: trying to avoid Taco Bell, But if I were there

1075
01:05:30,840 --> 01:05:35,240
Speaker 1: right now, I would probably just get like a like

1076
01:05:35,280 --> 01:05:38,360
Speaker 1: a beef a seven layer beef burrito thing. I think

1077
01:05:38,600 --> 01:05:42,200
Speaker 1: that's what it is. I don't know how many layers

1078
01:05:42,200 --> 01:05:47,080
Speaker 1: there are exactly, but get like a beef yeah, like

1079
01:05:47,280 --> 01:05:51,840
Speaker 1: a little beef burrito, maybe a couple of doritos locos tacos.

1080
01:05:52,280 --> 01:05:55,720
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, okay, yeah nice.

1081
01:05:57,320 --> 01:05:58,440
Speaker 2: Hm hmmmm.

1082
01:05:58,960 --> 01:06:03,240
Speaker 3: I'm glad you're feeling bout or you still feel like

1083
01:06:03,280 --> 01:06:06,120
Speaker 3: you're in that existential mode or have you.

1084
01:06:06,800 --> 01:06:08,640
Speaker 1: It comes in and out, but it's I'm I'm I'm

1085
01:06:08,680 --> 01:06:10,160
Speaker 1: out of it. I'm out of it and I feel

1086
01:06:10,440 --> 01:06:14,120
Speaker 1: better than you have. Hell yeah, part of it was

1087
01:06:15,720 --> 01:06:20,680
Speaker 1: uh yeah, uh taking pills and a lot of I

1088
01:06:20,680 --> 01:06:22,400
Speaker 1: don't I mean, it's a lot of stuff. It's really

1089
01:06:22,400 --> 01:06:25,800
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff. But m yeah, I mean it's

1090
01:06:25,800 --> 01:06:27,760
Speaker 1: it's been great. So we're just a couple. We're just

1091
01:06:27,800 --> 01:06:31,200
Speaker 1: a couple of a couple of dudes living their best

1092
01:06:31,640 --> 01:06:34,600
Speaker 1: livest or are you excited about the future? Do you

1093
01:06:34,640 --> 01:06:36,360
Speaker 1: have plans?

1094
01:06:37,240 --> 01:06:37,480
Speaker 2: You know?

1095
01:06:37,960 --> 01:06:41,200
Speaker 3: I I am excited about the future. I don't really

1096
01:06:41,280 --> 01:06:44,880
Speaker 3: have like plans per se. I mean, hopefully I can

1097
01:06:44,920 --> 01:06:49,840
Speaker 3: marry this lady. I mean I'd like to have a

1098
01:06:49,880 --> 01:06:54,800
Speaker 3: family one day. Yeah, and like I don't feel like

1099
01:06:55,400 --> 01:06:58,600
Speaker 3: particularly rushed to do that, Like I don't know, I'm

1100
01:06:58,680 --> 01:07:00,800
Speaker 3: thirty one, so like I don't want my wait forever.

1101
01:07:00,960 --> 01:07:05,720
Speaker 3: But like you know, maybe in the next three to

1102
01:07:05,840 --> 01:07:11,240
Speaker 3: five years sounds good to me. Cool, but yeah, I

1103
01:07:11,240 --> 01:07:13,480
Speaker 3: mean I am a lot more excited about the future.

1104
01:07:13,880 --> 01:07:19,920
Speaker 3: Like I don't know, like before I was able to

1105
01:07:20,080 --> 01:07:24,360
Speaker 3: like date and like talk to women and like still

1106
01:07:24,400 --> 01:07:27,000
Speaker 3: hadn't lost my v card. I kind of always have

1107
01:07:27,200 --> 01:07:30,640
Speaker 3: this like nagging thrab inside of me that like, oh god,

1108
01:07:30,720 --> 01:07:33,320
Speaker 3: that's just that's something I got to figure out. And like,

1109
01:07:33,760 --> 01:07:38,400
Speaker 3: I definitely feel like I've cracked that nut now and

1110
01:07:38,480 --> 01:07:42,520
Speaker 3: I just like, you know, I just feel like an

1111
01:07:42,600 --> 01:07:45,400
Speaker 3: eternal sense of like relief.

1112
01:07:46,640 --> 01:07:50,640
Speaker 1: About wonderful. Yeah, that's great, that's great, And I really

1113
01:07:50,680 --> 01:07:52,760
Speaker 1: genuinely I appreciate you sharing this because I know there's

1114
01:07:52,760 --> 01:07:59,000
Speaker 1: a lot of people who, you know, have had struggles

1115
01:07:59,040 --> 01:08:01,360
Speaker 1: in that department for what they believed to be an

1116
01:08:01,400 --> 01:08:05,120
Speaker 1: embarrassingly long amount of time. And uh, I think for

1117
01:08:05,240 --> 01:08:08,360
Speaker 1: someone to be able to hear your story and be like, well,

1118
01:08:08,400 --> 01:08:11,280
Speaker 1: you know, there's a light at the end of the

1119
01:08:11,320 --> 01:08:15,080
Speaker 1: tunnel for me, even if I've been feeling a certain

1120
01:08:15,080 --> 01:08:17,840
Speaker 1: way about myself for for my whole life, I mean,

1121
01:08:17,840 --> 01:08:20,280
Speaker 1: I think that's that's great. I love a story like that.

1122
01:08:21,360 --> 01:08:24,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, And like, oh man, I hope I like I

1123
01:08:24,640 --> 01:08:27,679
Speaker 3: don't sound like one of those like fucking black pilled

1124
01:08:28,080 --> 01:08:29,960
Speaker 3: in cell people, because I'm.

1125
01:08:29,680 --> 01:08:34,840
Speaker 1: Like, you're the opposite of the black pills you think I'm.

1126
01:08:36,400 --> 01:08:40,280
Speaker 3: I mean, well, I was gonna say, like, yeah, I

1127
01:08:40,280 --> 01:08:42,519
Speaker 3: couldn't get any pussy, but like I knew, deep down

1128
01:08:42,520 --> 01:08:44,320
Speaker 3: it was my fault, you know what I mean. I

1129
01:08:44,360 --> 01:08:48,280
Speaker 3: knew there was like my doing and not like you know,

1130
01:08:49,240 --> 01:08:51,240
Speaker 3: you know the rest of the world around me. It

1131
01:08:51,280 --> 01:08:53,519
Speaker 3: was it was my own thing.

1132
01:08:54,400 --> 01:08:59,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, well you're you're you're the opposite of black pill,

1133
01:08:59,320 --> 01:09:04,160
Speaker 1: because the black pill is the complete, I mean, the

1134
01:09:04,200 --> 01:09:08,559
Speaker 1: black pill's death. It's complete succession of any glimmer of

1135
01:09:08,720 --> 01:09:14,040
Speaker 1: hope that there is any agency left or any hope

1136
01:09:14,120 --> 01:09:19,720
Speaker 1: left for you in your life, and you're the opposite.

1137
01:09:19,760 --> 01:09:24,080
Speaker 1: You're continuing to push forward, like like if you like,

1138
01:09:24,320 --> 01:09:28,240
Speaker 1: if you're you know, whatever, if you're not good with

1139
01:09:28,880 --> 01:09:31,880
Speaker 1: talking to women or or even really anything about your

1140
01:09:31,880 --> 01:09:35,599
Speaker 1: life that you're unsatisfied with, but you're kind of like, uh,

1141
01:09:36,360 --> 01:09:40,439
Speaker 1: fighting making progress or even just fighting even just holding

1142
01:09:40,439 --> 01:09:46,200
Speaker 1: onto some hope that some things will are are are malleable,

1143
01:09:46,320 --> 01:09:49,760
Speaker 1: and that you're you're able to change and that a

1144
01:09:49,840 --> 01:09:52,960
Speaker 1: future self exists. Then yeah, you're out of the the

1145
01:09:52,960 --> 01:09:55,120
Speaker 1: black pilt. The black pill is again a complete what

1146
01:09:55,240 --> 01:09:57,640
Speaker 1: because I I don't know, I've been I've been on

1147
01:09:57,720 --> 01:10:01,840
Speaker 1: a I've been just thinking about this myself and like

1148
01:10:01,880 --> 01:10:06,479
Speaker 1: talking to friends about it of like the internal being

1149
01:10:06,520 --> 01:10:12,040
Speaker 1: a reflection of the external, and I don't it's not

1150
01:10:12,120 --> 01:10:14,800
Speaker 1: a complete theory, but I think there is a lot

1151
01:10:14,840 --> 01:10:18,599
Speaker 1: of truth to it, because like if you're on man,

1152
01:10:18,680 --> 01:10:22,920
Speaker 1: if you're on Reddit and you're like talking about how

1153
01:10:22,960 --> 01:10:25,680
Speaker 1: you suck and you're horrible, and you know you have

1154
01:10:25,840 --> 01:10:29,479
Speaker 1: this thing and that thing happened to you, and you

1155
01:10:30,320 --> 01:10:34,360
Speaker 1: have this thing about you or your life for the

1156
01:10:34,360 --> 01:10:36,200
Speaker 1: world that makes it so that you're never be happy,

1157
01:10:36,200 --> 01:10:39,880
Speaker 1: then it just becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. I think, yeah,

1158
01:10:40,960 --> 01:10:43,320
Speaker 1: And even look, man, because that's the thing, right, even

1159
01:10:43,360 --> 01:10:46,880
Speaker 1: if you're like twenty nine and a virgin, if you

1160
01:10:47,000 --> 01:10:50,120
Speaker 1: have the fucking right because you're twenty when you're twenty

1161
01:10:50,160 --> 01:10:53,360
Speaker 1: nine and you're a virgin, and you have the thing

1162
01:10:53,920 --> 01:10:59,360
Speaker 1: to be like, hey, look, I believe if I put

1163
01:10:59,360 --> 01:11:02,479
Speaker 1: myself out on the dating apps and I put together

1164
01:11:02,600 --> 01:11:08,840
Speaker 1: a presentable digital version of myself and I learn how

1165
01:11:08,880 --> 01:11:10,760
Speaker 1: to talk to people, and I believe you know, look,

1166
01:11:10,800 --> 01:11:15,360
Speaker 1: it's I have twenty nine years of pretty bad data.

1167
01:11:15,439 --> 01:11:18,280
Speaker 1: You know, I have twenty nine years of data that's

1168
01:11:18,400 --> 01:11:23,120
Speaker 1: telling me. I have twenty nine years of data that

1169
01:11:23,200 --> 01:11:27,080
Speaker 1: I could easily interpret to mean that I suck and

1170
01:11:27,120 --> 01:11:30,400
Speaker 1: I'm never gonna find happiness. And that's the easy thing

1171
01:11:30,479 --> 01:11:32,320
Speaker 1: to do with that twenty nine years of data. But

1172
01:11:32,479 --> 01:11:34,519
Speaker 1: to take that twenty nine years of data and go, Okay,

1173
01:11:34,560 --> 01:11:38,240
Speaker 1: that's what that was, but doesn't have to be what

1174
01:11:38,439 --> 01:11:42,040
Speaker 1: is forever. And then because you have that internal belief,

1175
01:11:42,080 --> 01:11:46,799
Speaker 1: you take the external action of going on the fucking

1176
01:11:46,880 --> 01:11:49,479
Speaker 1: dates and putting yourself out there. You're like, you don't

1177
01:11:49,479 --> 01:11:51,880
Speaker 1: have you're right, because if you believe that nothing good

1178
01:11:51,880 --> 01:11:54,600
Speaker 1: would ever happen, you'd take no shots, you know what

1179
01:11:54,640 --> 01:11:57,479
Speaker 1: I mean? And so because you it's so because you

1180
01:11:57,520 --> 01:12:00,600
Speaker 1: believe you took the shots and things worked out you. So,

1181
01:12:00,680 --> 01:12:04,439
Speaker 1: I don't know if I believe necessarily that, like I mean, actually,

1182
01:12:04,479 --> 01:12:05,920
Speaker 1: you know what, fuck it, I kind of do believe that,

1183
01:12:06,000 --> 01:12:09,160
Speaker 1: like in like manifestation in a sense of like what

1184
01:12:09,200 --> 01:12:13,080
Speaker 1: you believe about like like you're I like, dude, I

1185
01:12:13,120 --> 01:12:15,320
Speaker 1: hate I hate saying it because it just sounds so

1186
01:12:15,680 --> 01:12:19,639
Speaker 1: like it when woo when it sound, dude, it sounds

1187
01:12:19,680 --> 01:12:22,840
Speaker 1: woo woo, but it's like so logical when you break

1188
01:12:22,880 --> 01:12:27,760
Speaker 1: it down, it sounds it sounds like a business success.

1189
01:12:28,120 --> 01:12:32,000
Speaker 1: Instagram picture of the sky. Your only limit is your imagination.

1190
01:12:32,400 --> 01:12:35,080
Speaker 1: But when you but when you but no, no, but

1191
01:12:35,080 --> 01:12:38,880
Speaker 1: but but when you think about it, it's it's right,

1192
01:12:39,200 --> 01:12:43,000
Speaker 1: it's logical. Your brain, how you think about the world

1193
01:12:43,120 --> 01:12:47,240
Speaker 1: affects how you make how you act within it, and

1194
01:12:47,280 --> 01:12:50,560
Speaker 1: then how you act within it is affects your external reality.

1195
01:12:50,720 --> 01:12:53,920
Speaker 1: So it makes logical sense. It's not just like some

1196
01:12:53,920 --> 01:12:55,120
Speaker 1: some wooo bullshit.

1197
01:12:56,120 --> 01:12:59,439
Speaker 3: And even if it feels like extremely unnatural at first

1198
01:12:59,520 --> 01:13:03,679
Speaker 3: to go and be that unnaturally positive and like believe

1199
01:13:03,760 --> 01:13:08,880
Speaker 3: these things like it comes with time, you know what

1200
01:13:08,880 --> 01:13:12,160
Speaker 3: I mean. And like I don't think that's necessarily being

1201
01:13:12,240 --> 01:13:15,280
Speaker 3: like not authentic or being like a douchebag or not no,

1202
01:13:15,360 --> 01:13:21,000
Speaker 3: not like it's it's very much like you know, having hope,

1203
01:13:21,439 --> 01:13:22,880
Speaker 3: having hope in the system, you know.

1204
01:13:24,840 --> 01:13:28,120
Speaker 1: Also especially with something like especially with something like dating

1205
01:13:28,240 --> 01:13:33,040
Speaker 1: right where it's like you only need one you know,

1206
01:13:33,880 --> 01:13:36,200
Speaker 1: like because look, right, if you're like five to two

1207
01:13:37,320 --> 01:13:40,559
Speaker 1: and you're like and if you're five, if you're on Reddit,

1208
01:13:40,640 --> 01:13:42,920
Speaker 1: and you're five to two and you're like, most women

1209
01:13:43,160 --> 01:13:46,800
Speaker 1: don't want to date a five to two guy. You're

1210
01:13:46,920 --> 01:13:51,880
Speaker 1: here's a you're right, but that does you're right, But

1211
01:13:51,920 --> 01:13:56,000
Speaker 1: that doesn't mean that you're never going to be able

1212
01:13:56,040 --> 01:13:58,599
Speaker 1: to find someone, you know what I mean, because you don't.

1213
01:13:58,800 --> 01:14:02,240
Speaker 1: You don't mean most women or most You don't need

1214
01:14:02,320 --> 01:14:05,799
Speaker 1: most people in any situation, in any situation in life.

1215
01:14:05,960 --> 01:14:08,479
Speaker 1: You don't need most people to do anything. And in

1216
01:14:08,479 --> 01:14:12,000
Speaker 1: this particular situation, you only need one of the eighty

1217
01:14:12,240 --> 01:14:14,280
Speaker 1: the inch of the infinite of them.

1218
01:14:14,280 --> 01:14:17,559
Speaker 3: You know, And like everybody's got something that isn't like

1219
01:14:17,920 --> 01:14:22,479
Speaker 3: traditionally attractive, you know what I mean, like everybody, and

1220
01:14:22,600 --> 01:14:24,960
Speaker 3: like at the end of the day, it's all about

1221
01:14:25,200 --> 01:14:29,639
Speaker 3: just like you know, taking care of yourself, making other

1222
01:14:29,680 --> 01:14:33,559
Speaker 3: people feel special, like being confident, and that's it.

1223
01:14:34,520 --> 01:14:35,679
Speaker 1: What's your name again, Otter?

1224
01:14:36,920 --> 01:14:39,360
Speaker 3: Otter? Yeah, I'm going by Otter. I go by sneaky

1225
01:14:39,439 --> 01:14:42,880
Speaker 3: otter sometimes sneaky Otter.

1226
01:14:44,080 --> 01:14:47,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, sneaky otter. Well thanks for sharing this with this

1227
01:14:47,920 --> 01:14:49,960
Speaker 1: sneaky outter. I'm very I love I like I said,

1228
01:14:50,000 --> 01:14:53,679
Speaker 1: I love. I love a good story of turning it around.

1229
01:14:54,120 --> 01:14:57,240
Speaker 1: That's my favorite thing. So I appreciate you sharing that is.

1230
01:14:57,400 --> 01:14:58,519
Speaker 1: Is there anything else you want to say to the

1231
01:14:58,560 --> 01:14:59,920
Speaker 1: people of the computer before we go?

1232
01:15:01,040 --> 01:15:03,840
Speaker 3: Uh pus stored in the Balls Rock and Roll later

1233
01:15:03,920 --> 01:15:05,519
Speaker 3: on Man Alive.

1234
01:15:08,200 --> 01:15:09,680
Speaker 1: I feel like I've had to I feel like I've

1235
01:15:09,720 --> 01:15:13,200
Speaker 1: talked about this bullshit on my podcast a lot. But like, yeah,

1236
01:15:13,240 --> 01:15:19,479
Speaker 1: I do. I do believe in the sense that the

1237
01:15:19,479 --> 01:15:22,439
Speaker 1: the internal is the reflection of the external. And that's

1238
01:15:22,520 --> 01:15:28,880
Speaker 1: not a again, it's not a rejection of empirical fact,

1239
01:15:29,120 --> 01:15:36,920
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Because I like, how do

1240
01:15:36,960 --> 01:15:42,240
Speaker 1: I like if you like a lot like people being like, oh,

1241
01:15:42,280 --> 01:15:45,000
Speaker 1: people only care about looks, and it's like, yes, that's true,

1242
01:15:46,160 --> 01:15:51,479
Speaker 1: but it doesn't You're you're using how do I say this,

1243
01:15:53,240 --> 01:15:57,839
Speaker 1: You're looking at the data in the least favorable There's

1244
01:15:58,200 --> 01:16:04,560
Speaker 1: every every data set that that you can look at

1245
01:16:05,320 --> 01:16:12,360
Speaker 1: you can find a positive interpretation of it. I think

1246
01:16:13,200 --> 01:16:16,840
Speaker 1: maybe not every data set, maybe not one about uh,

1247
01:16:17,560 --> 01:16:21,559
Speaker 1: maybe not every data set. Okay, I'm gonna stop talking.

1248
01:16:21,760 --> 01:16:27,880
Speaker 1: That's I'm gonna stop talking. Hello. Hello, Hey, what's your name? Hello?

1249
01:16:30,040 --> 01:16:30,479
Speaker 6: Hello?

1250
01:16:31,240 --> 01:16:35,320
Speaker 1: Hi, Hi, what's your name? My name is Chris, Chris,

1251
01:16:36,400 --> 01:16:38,920
Speaker 1: what's up, Chris?

1252
01:16:38,960 --> 01:16:41,799
Speaker 6: Not much? I'm going to a basement show tonight.

1253
01:16:42,400 --> 01:16:43,559
Speaker 1: Ooh who you seeing?

1254
01:16:45,439 --> 01:16:46,080
Speaker 2: Uh?

1255
01:16:46,120 --> 01:16:47,760
Speaker 6: I don't know. I live in like kind of like

1256
01:16:47,880 --> 01:16:51,240
Speaker 6: butt fuck, not quite butt fuck nowhere Wisconsin. There's like

1257
01:16:51,800 --> 01:16:55,040
Speaker 6: forty thousand some or no, there's like seventy some seventy

1258
01:16:55,040 --> 01:16:58,439
Speaker 6: thousand people in my town. So like it's kind of

1259
01:16:58,520 --> 01:17:00,519
Speaker 6: just like bands from Wisconsin the area.

1260
01:17:01,280 --> 01:17:05,200
Speaker 1: That sounds awesome. I love that shit. How are you like?

1261
01:17:06,000 --> 01:17:06,759
Speaker 1: Do you play music?

1262
01:17:09,120 --> 01:17:11,439
Speaker 6: No? Not myself. I mean I did like band in

1263
01:17:11,560 --> 01:17:12,120
Speaker 6: high school.

1264
01:17:12,240 --> 01:17:19,240
Speaker 1: But do you No, I don't, but I love I

1265
01:17:19,320 --> 01:17:21,280
Speaker 1: like that kind of I love what do you? What

1266
01:17:21,360 --> 01:17:22,680
Speaker 1: is it like ten dollars to get in?

1267
01:17:24,080 --> 01:17:25,160
Speaker 6: It's like five bucks here?

1268
01:17:25,400 --> 01:17:25,599
Speaker 5: Oh?

1269
01:17:26,040 --> 01:17:29,880
Speaker 1: Are you gonna have fun? Is it like at someone's house? Yeah?

1270
01:17:30,080 --> 01:17:35,439
Speaker 6: Yeah, it's called uh maybe some people like recognize this.

1271
01:17:35,600 --> 01:17:39,960
Speaker 6: It's called Graham Jams. This is an oh Claire, Wisconsin.

1272
01:17:40,200 --> 01:17:43,519
Speaker 1: Oh Claire, Wisconsin. Graham Jams. That sounds fucking cool. How'd

1273
01:17:43,560 --> 01:17:46,559
Speaker 1: you is your first time going? Yeah?

1274
01:17:46,680 --> 01:17:48,479
Speaker 6: Yeah, I had a buddy. You told me about it,

1275
01:17:48,520 --> 01:17:51,040
Speaker 6: and I've always been busy with like work in school

1276
01:17:51,040 --> 01:17:54,639
Speaker 6: and stuff. Uh, but now now I got the time.

1277
01:17:55,560 --> 01:17:58,120
Speaker 1: Cool? Are you Are you going with your buddy? You're

1278
01:17:58,120 --> 01:17:58,599
Speaker 1: going alone?

1279
01:18:00,120 --> 01:18:02,599
Speaker 6: Yeah, I'm going with that buddy. I'm gonna meet him there,

1280
01:18:02,640 --> 01:18:05,920
Speaker 6: and then I have somebody from work coming to join me,

1281
01:18:05,960 --> 01:18:07,200
Speaker 6: too cool.

1282
01:18:07,920 --> 01:18:08,960
Speaker 1: Are you still in school?

1283
01:18:10,640 --> 01:18:10,920
Speaker 3: Yeah?

1284
01:18:11,080 --> 01:18:14,400
Speaker 6: Yeah, has that going going for a psychology?

1285
01:18:15,120 --> 01:18:22,439
Speaker 1: Oh that'll be fun, that'll be fun. Well are you

1286
01:18:22,520 --> 01:18:25,920
Speaker 1: trying to be Are you trying to be a therapist? Yeah?

1287
01:18:26,000 --> 01:18:28,240
Speaker 6: Yeah, I mean I talked. I talked to you about this,

1288
01:18:28,439 --> 01:18:30,040
Speaker 6: like I don't know, maybe like a month ago.

1289
01:18:30,160 --> 01:18:32,920
Speaker 1: Actually, oh you are we called? You talked to me already.

1290
01:18:34,800 --> 01:18:38,160
Speaker 6: Yeah. Yeah, you just give me if you want, well.

1291
01:18:38,120 --> 01:18:40,519
Speaker 1: Hold on, hold on, all right, hold on. You have

1292
01:18:40,600 --> 01:18:41,679
Speaker 1: some well you're.

1293
01:18:43,439 --> 01:18:45,840
Speaker 6: You're like, oh I talk give me the next guy.

1294
01:18:47,400 --> 01:18:51,320
Speaker 1: You have some confidence in yourself. Chris, goddamn, what did

1295
01:18:51,320 --> 01:18:52,759
Speaker 1: we talk about? When did we talk?

1296
01:18:54,200 --> 01:18:54,320
Speaker 3: Uh?

1297
01:18:54,720 --> 01:18:57,400
Speaker 6: I don't remember. I like, well, I don't remember much

1298
01:18:57,439 --> 01:19:01,680
Speaker 6: of it. I remember, like I remember like asking you.

1299
01:19:01,800 --> 01:19:04,519
Speaker 6: I was like, I was like, when was the last

1300
01:19:04,520 --> 01:19:06,600
Speaker 6: time you had sex? And You're like, when was the

1301
01:19:06,640 --> 01:19:08,000
Speaker 6: last time you had sex?

1302
01:19:08,080 --> 01:19:08,400
Speaker 1: Collar?

1303
01:19:10,160 --> 01:19:11,920
Speaker 6: That's like that's the one thing I remember.

1304
01:19:17,800 --> 01:19:20,400
Speaker 1: Okay, Well, why'd you call in again?

1305
01:19:22,920 --> 01:19:23,360
Speaker 2: Uh?

1306
01:19:24,160 --> 01:19:25,680
Speaker 6: I just thought you were doing it, you know.

1307
01:19:26,560 --> 01:19:30,040
Speaker 1: Okay, what do you want to do with the what

1308
01:19:30,040 --> 01:19:31,200
Speaker 1: do you want to do with the time we have

1309
01:19:31,280 --> 01:19:32,240
Speaker 1: left on this phone call.

1310
01:19:34,000 --> 01:19:36,160
Speaker 6: Fuck, I don't know, man, I just wanted to tell

1311
01:19:36,160 --> 01:19:38,080
Speaker 6: you about that. I thought you'd think it was cool.

1312
01:19:39,080 --> 01:19:43,920
Speaker 1: It was like and and and Chris. Huh, you were right.

1313
01:19:44,200 --> 01:19:46,080
Speaker 1: I do think it's cool. I think it's very cool.

1314
01:19:46,200 --> 01:19:46,960
Speaker 1: I like that ship.

1315
01:19:48,560 --> 01:19:53,400
Speaker 6: Yeah, man, yeah, I had Uh. I just did ah

1316
01:19:53,800 --> 01:19:57,080
Speaker 6: fucking two week army training. Dude, I shot like machine

1317
01:19:57,120 --> 01:19:57,840
Speaker 6: guns and ship.

1318
01:19:58,479 --> 01:20:00,080
Speaker 1: Are you going into the army?

1319
01:20:00,760 --> 01:20:03,000
Speaker 6: I already am in the army? I do like National

1320
01:20:03,000 --> 01:20:05,200
Speaker 6: Guard like a weekend a month's type shit.

1321
01:20:06,760 --> 01:20:11,040
Speaker 1: Wow, yeah, man, damn do you think you're gonna have yeah?

1322
01:20:11,120 --> 01:20:11,240
Speaker 3: Right?

1323
01:20:11,280 --> 01:20:12,080
Speaker 1: Do you think you're gonna have.

1324
01:20:12,000 --> 01:20:14,080
Speaker 6: To go to nup the machine gun on top of

1325
01:20:14,120 --> 01:20:18,160
Speaker 6: the truck, drive that shit around, shoot ship, you know,

1326
01:20:18,360 --> 01:20:22,639
Speaker 6: like shoot buildings, shoot fucking targets, blow shit up.

1327
01:20:23,760 --> 01:20:25,400
Speaker 1: Where did they do this? This must be in like

1328
01:20:25,479 --> 01:20:27,560
Speaker 1: a remote area.

1329
01:20:28,280 --> 01:20:28,599
Speaker 2: Yeah.

1330
01:20:28,640 --> 01:20:32,240
Speaker 6: So I'm not gonna name like the installation that I

1331
01:20:32,439 --> 01:20:36,200
Speaker 6: do it on, but ninety percent of like army and

1332
01:20:36,320 --> 01:20:40,000
Speaker 6: like Air Force installations and forts camps whatever, they have

1333
01:20:40,200 --> 01:20:44,000
Speaker 6: like huge spaces of like woods and like shooting ranges

1334
01:20:44,040 --> 01:20:46,679
Speaker 6: and stuff to do that shit cool?

1335
01:20:47,200 --> 01:20:49,280
Speaker 1: What did you did it make? You feel powerful to

1336
01:20:49,400 --> 01:20:51,679
Speaker 1: shoot a machine gun from the top of a truck.

1337
01:20:53,040 --> 01:20:55,720
Speaker 6: Okay, the dog shit part of the army, right, Like

1338
01:20:55,760 --> 01:20:57,880
Speaker 6: most people go in there, like, dude, shooting machine guns

1339
01:20:57,960 --> 01:20:59,920
Speaker 6: is gonna be so fucking fun. But the army like

1340
01:21:00,160 --> 01:21:08,200
Speaker 6: sucks all the enjoyment out of it. How Like, Okay,

1341
01:21:08,360 --> 01:21:11,760
Speaker 6: So there's so many people that have to go right,

1342
01:21:12,960 --> 01:21:17,639
Speaker 6: and it's always planned. The army plans nothing well at all,

1343
01:21:17,760 --> 01:21:22,240
Speaker 6: dog like. So you're sitting there just waiting all fucking

1344
01:21:22,280 --> 01:21:24,360
Speaker 6: day to shoot, and by the time you get out there,

1345
01:21:24,840 --> 01:21:28,200
Speaker 6: it's so late, you're so tired, it's so fucking hot

1346
01:21:28,280 --> 01:21:31,360
Speaker 6: at you know, and there's so much like shit you

1347
01:21:31,479 --> 01:21:34,760
Speaker 6: gotta do for to be like safe, like compared to

1348
01:21:35,080 --> 01:21:37,120
Speaker 6: like if I were to just like shoot a machine

1349
01:21:37,120 --> 01:21:40,680
Speaker 6: gun like you know, in the in the woods like

1350
01:21:40,720 --> 01:21:43,120
Speaker 6: in the country or some shit, it's so much worse.

1351
01:21:43,640 --> 01:21:45,400
Speaker 6: Plus you have to well it's not even like you're

1352
01:21:45,400 --> 01:21:48,519
Speaker 6: just shooting it to like practice. It's like you have

1353
01:21:48,600 --> 01:21:52,920
Speaker 6: to shoot this many targets this fast. It fucking sucks. Man.

1354
01:21:54,720 --> 01:22:00,280
Speaker 1: Huh, Well, I don't you know, Chris, honestly, to give

1355
01:22:00,280 --> 01:22:04,000
Speaker 1: you a counterpoint, I don't think shooting a gun should

1356
01:22:04,080 --> 01:22:04,960
Speaker 1: be that fun.

1357
01:22:07,320 --> 01:22:11,160
Speaker 6: What do you mean, man, you you don't want to like, well,

1358
01:22:11,200 --> 01:22:13,760
Speaker 6: you're gonna be drafted to go to Iran here in

1359
01:22:13,840 --> 01:22:14,280
Speaker 6: like a week.

1360
01:22:14,600 --> 01:22:17,560
Speaker 1: They're not gonna hold on, hold, they're not gonna draft me.

1361
01:22:18,160 --> 01:22:22,320
Speaker 1: They're not gonna. I promise you, I will dodge that draft.

1362
01:22:23,240 --> 01:22:24,679
Speaker 1: I promise you.

1363
01:22:24,680 --> 01:22:26,840
Speaker 6: You could just say you're you can just say you're tran.

1364
01:22:27,080 --> 01:22:27,760
Speaker 6: It's pretty good.

1365
01:22:28,200 --> 01:22:29,880
Speaker 1: Oh I don't even have to do that. I'll just

1366
01:22:29,920 --> 01:22:31,720
Speaker 1: show them my blood work and they'll be like, you

1367
01:22:31,760 --> 01:22:34,800
Speaker 1: eat too much cotton candy for us to send you,

1368
01:22:35,120 --> 01:22:36,400
Speaker 1: uh to the Middle East.

1369
01:22:37,520 --> 01:22:40,320
Speaker 6: No, man, trust me. They have like cut down the

1370
01:22:40,360 --> 01:22:45,240
Speaker 6: restrictions on like uh weight and health stuff so much

1371
01:22:45,840 --> 01:22:47,880
Speaker 6: that they don't give a fuck about that. Really you

1372
01:22:47,920 --> 01:22:51,720
Speaker 6: have to be like very unhealthy, like extraordinarily.

1373
01:22:54,000 --> 01:22:56,360
Speaker 1: But I don't know, I feel like they're looking for

1374
01:22:56,439 --> 01:22:59,920
Speaker 1: like young young boys. I'm like they're looking for like

1375
01:23:00,000 --> 01:23:01,360
Speaker 1: eighteen year olds.

1376
01:23:01,800 --> 01:23:04,080
Speaker 6: I think it's up to like thirty. I think the

1377
01:23:04,160 --> 01:23:08,160
Speaker 6: draft goes up to like fucking thirty or some shit.

1378
01:23:08,640 --> 01:23:09,840
Speaker 1: Do you think we're gonna do that? You think we're

1379
01:23:09,840 --> 01:23:12,639
Speaker 1: gonna do it like we're gonna do like a whole draft.

1380
01:23:13,040 --> 01:23:15,000
Speaker 6: No, No, I don't even think there's going to be

1381
01:23:15,080 --> 01:23:18,680
Speaker 6: like a war, but like, you know, next Therapy Get

1382
01:23:18,720 --> 01:23:22,360
Speaker 6: Go podcast is gonna be hosted from a POW camp

1383
01:23:22,400 --> 01:23:25,439
Speaker 6: and outside of tront.

1384
01:23:25,120 --> 01:23:28,000
Speaker 1: That would be crazy if that's if I transitioned into

1385
01:23:28,680 --> 01:23:30,200
Speaker 1: covering wars.

1386
01:23:31,200 --> 01:23:33,559
Speaker 6: No, you would be you would be a prisoner and

1387
01:23:33,600 --> 01:23:36,600
Speaker 6: said POW camp. You know, oh shit, like you know

1388
01:23:36,720 --> 01:23:39,160
Speaker 6: you're how you like went to Mexico and shit, you

1389
01:23:39,320 --> 01:23:43,479
Speaker 6: like interview people on the streets, like interview other prisoners

1390
01:23:43,520 --> 01:23:44,120
Speaker 6: of war.

1391
01:23:45,800 --> 01:23:52,559
Speaker 1: Being a gecko, being a gecko at a POW camp. Yeah,

1392
01:23:53,040 --> 01:23:54,000
Speaker 1: you know what's funny is.

1393
01:23:54,000 --> 01:23:56,280
Speaker 6: Uh geto during like World War two or something.

1394
01:23:57,439 --> 01:24:03,120
Speaker 1: I live in such childlike I live in such childlike

1395
01:24:03,320 --> 01:24:06,280
Speaker 1: naivete because when I think of POW I think of

1396
01:24:06,360 --> 01:24:13,720
Speaker 1: the block from Mario more so than a prisoner of

1397
01:24:13,760 --> 01:24:14,400
Speaker 1: war camp.

1398
01:24:16,640 --> 01:24:22,360
Speaker 6: Yeah. Yeah, no, that's that's totally fair. I often think

1399
01:24:22,400 --> 01:24:26,240
Speaker 6: in fucking video game and TikTok terminology, you can't say

1400
01:24:26,240 --> 01:24:28,920
Speaker 6: shit to me without me making a TikTok reference.

1401
01:24:29,400 --> 01:24:31,240
Speaker 1: You know, I know I said earlier that shooting a

1402
01:24:31,280 --> 01:24:34,920
Speaker 1: gun shouldn't be fun, but the most fun video games

1403
01:24:34,920 --> 01:24:37,640
Speaker 1: on the planet are about killing people with guns, and

1404
01:24:37,640 --> 01:24:41,680
Speaker 1: they're extremely fun. So by doing it in But you know,

1405
01:24:41,840 --> 01:24:45,719
Speaker 1: killing people with guns in video games is really fun.

1406
01:24:45,840 --> 01:24:48,960
Speaker 1: By killing people with guns in real life sounds horrific.

1407
01:24:49,560 --> 01:24:51,120
Speaker 1: I don't think that should be fun at all.

1408
01:24:52,960 --> 01:24:56,800
Speaker 6: I mean, there's there's definitely people who who enjoy it.

1409
01:24:56,880 --> 01:24:59,400
Speaker 6: I mean, not that many. I don't think. I don't

1410
01:24:59,400 --> 01:25:04,679
Speaker 6: think many many people in the military enjoy enjoy killing.

1411
01:25:05,439 --> 01:25:08,840
Speaker 1: There's got to be a few, there's definitely a few.

1412
01:25:09,479 --> 01:25:10,759
Speaker 6: But like Tom.

1413
01:25:10,640 --> 01:25:13,280
Speaker 1: Enjoyed, do you want you do you have a lust

1414
01:25:13,320 --> 01:25:14,720
Speaker 1: for blood? Chris?

1415
01:25:16,200 --> 01:25:18,759
Speaker 6: No, man, I do this ship for the bennies.

1416
01:25:18,880 --> 01:25:22,040
Speaker 1: The benefits Are you gonna punch someone in the face

1417
01:25:22,080 --> 01:25:23,200
Speaker 1: in the mosh pit? Tonight?

1418
01:25:25,240 --> 01:25:25,280
Speaker 2: No?

1419
01:25:25,600 --> 01:25:29,600
Speaker 6: I'm I'm weak and frail and twinkish. I have a

1420
01:25:29,640 --> 01:25:38,840
Speaker 6: girlish figure, so real, skinny guy.

1421
01:25:39,400 --> 01:25:41,200
Speaker 1: You know. I feel like, actually, this was a good

1422
01:25:41,200 --> 01:25:47,479
Speaker 1: phone call. Yeah yeah, I think like, no, no, this

1423
01:25:47,600 --> 01:25:49,759
Speaker 1: was perfect. This was a perfect way to end this.

1424
01:25:51,640 --> 01:25:55,280
Speaker 6: Well, talking about like the Get Go Pow camp and

1425
01:25:55,320 --> 01:25:56,080
Speaker 6: like killing people.

1426
01:25:56,479 --> 01:25:59,680
Speaker 1: No, just you know, don't we don't have to think

1427
01:25:59,680 --> 01:26:01,800
Speaker 1: about it too much. I think we can just I

1428
01:26:01,920 --> 01:26:04,120
Speaker 1: just intuitively believe this was a good way to end

1429
01:26:04,120 --> 01:26:06,520
Speaker 1: the podcast today.

1430
01:26:06,760 --> 01:26:08,679
Speaker 6: Yeah. Yeah, oh shit, I'm the I'm.

1431
01:26:08,520 --> 01:26:12,400
Speaker 1: The last one, man, You're the last one. Wow.

1432
01:26:12,600 --> 01:26:15,400
Speaker 6: I saw that it was like an hour Like I

1433
01:26:15,680 --> 01:26:18,559
Speaker 6: always get these like notifications from your Instagram story. That's

1434
01:26:18,600 --> 01:26:21,000
Speaker 6: how I find out. I saw it was like this

1435
01:26:21,040 --> 01:26:22,640
Speaker 6: is an hour ago. I was like, yeah, I'm not

1436
01:26:22,720 --> 01:26:23,519
Speaker 6: I'm not getting into.

1437
01:26:23,439 --> 01:26:28,519
Speaker 1: This, Chris, What's up? Is there anything else you want

1438
01:26:28,520 --> 01:26:30,040
Speaker 1: to say to the people of the computer before we go?

1439
01:26:31,880 --> 01:26:32,880
Speaker 6: And whatever?

1440
01:26:32,960 --> 01:26:33,280
Speaker 2: You do?

1441
01:26:34,000 --> 01:26:36,800
Speaker 6: Go out and find shit to do, like even me,

1442
01:26:37,040 --> 01:26:40,280
Speaker 6: Like I work and go to school all the fucking time.

1443
01:26:40,320 --> 01:26:44,799
Speaker 6: But I promised you there's like shit to do somewhere something.

1444
01:26:45,200 --> 01:26:46,680
Speaker 6: Unless you live in like the middle of nowhere, I

1445
01:26:46,680 --> 01:26:47,200
Speaker 6: think are fucked.

1446
01:26:47,520 --> 01:26:49,519
Speaker 1: But like, don't you live hold on, wait, don't you

1447
01:26:49,560 --> 01:26:51,080
Speaker 1: live in the middle of nowhere? Isn't that what you

1448
01:26:51,080 --> 01:26:51,599
Speaker 1: were just saying?

1449
01:26:52,040 --> 01:26:56,559
Speaker 6: Okay, compared to like I don't know, like big cities

1450
01:26:56,640 --> 01:27:01,080
Speaker 6: like Minneapolis, New York, Philly, shit like that. Oh Claire

1451
01:27:01,439 --> 01:27:04,040
Speaker 6: is some some people in the in those bigger cities

1452
01:27:04,120 --> 01:27:05,160
Speaker 6: think it's pretty small.

1453
01:27:05,240 --> 01:27:10,400
Speaker 1: But I like the sentiment though, I like, I think

1454
01:27:10,439 --> 01:27:13,240
Speaker 1: it's good to do things.

1455
01:27:14,840 --> 01:27:19,880
Speaker 6: Yeah, yeah not because otherwise, like I just fucking hate

1456
01:27:19,960 --> 01:27:22,040
Speaker 6: everything and I'm just like a robot. I just like

1457
01:27:22,120 --> 01:27:24,560
Speaker 6: go make money and then spend money on school. You

1458
01:27:24,600 --> 01:27:26,559
Speaker 6: know you gotta spend money on like other ships, like

1459
01:27:27,120 --> 01:27:33,360
Speaker 6: fucking video games and basement shows.

1460
01:27:33,560 --> 01:27:35,120
Speaker 1: I like your ethos, Chris. I hope you have a

1461
01:27:35,120 --> 01:27:36,920
Speaker 1: fun time at this basement show. I don't know why

1462
01:27:36,920 --> 01:27:39,080
Speaker 1: I said it that, like Mike Tyson just now. I

1463
01:27:39,080 --> 01:27:43,120
Speaker 1: think it's because I almost burned. Okay, okay, I think

1464
01:27:43,200 --> 01:27:46,120
Speaker 1: I think I think this was good. I hope you

1465
01:27:46,200 --> 01:27:48,400
Speaker 1: enjoy this basement show. And again you were right. I

1466
01:27:48,439 --> 01:27:51,280
Speaker 1: do think it's cool. I think it's very cool. I

1467
01:27:51,400 --> 01:27:57,160
Speaker 1: like doing shit. I like hearing about cheap, cool shit

1468
01:27:57,360 --> 01:28:02,680
Speaker 1: existing in places outside of major cities. And I am

1469
01:28:02,760 --> 01:28:04,960
Speaker 1: very happy that you relaid this information not only to me,

1470
01:28:05,040 --> 01:28:05,839
Speaker 1: but to the listeners.

1471
01:28:08,000 --> 01:28:13,799
Speaker 6: I know, man, Yeah, if you guys can, can fucking

1472
01:28:14,439 --> 01:28:19,120
Speaker 6: make it to this city in one hour and figure

1473
01:28:19,120 --> 01:28:20,440
Speaker 6: out'll it'll.

1474
01:28:20,200 --> 01:28:22,040
Speaker 1: This will be by the time I post this, it'll

1475
01:28:22,040 --> 01:28:23,519
Speaker 1: be the show. Beal.

1476
01:28:23,680 --> 01:28:25,679
Speaker 6: Now there's the guys listening to the to the live

1477
01:28:25,720 --> 01:28:29,439
Speaker 6: stream and ship. Oh sure, I guarantee none of them

1478
01:28:29,760 --> 01:28:32,200
Speaker 6: even live in Wisconsin. But you know you don't know that.

1479
01:28:32,320 --> 01:28:36,519
Speaker 1: You don't know anything, Chris. You cannot assume a single

1480
01:28:36,600 --> 01:28:39,400
Speaker 1: thing about anything that you even even the things you

1481
01:28:39,560 --> 01:28:41,479
Speaker 1: know you must be skeptical of.

1482
01:28:43,479 --> 01:28:46,839
Speaker 6: No, I'm you know, people who are stupid and gullible

1483
01:28:46,880 --> 01:28:48,720
Speaker 6: are like pretty happy if you notice that.

1484
01:28:48,920 --> 01:28:50,000
Speaker 1: So I have noticed that.

1485
01:28:50,640 --> 01:28:52,479
Speaker 6: I'm trying to live a little bit like that, you know,

1486
01:28:52,520 --> 01:28:55,080
Speaker 6: and I'm pretty happy. So there you go.

1487
01:28:55,439 --> 01:28:59,919
Speaker 1: Okay, in that case, believe everything you hear, be skeptical

1488
01:29:00,120 --> 01:29:05,600
Speaker 1: of nothing, and and you'll be happier. That is a

1489
01:29:05,600 --> 01:29:09,840
Speaker 1: little true. That is a little true. I'll see you

1490
01:29:09,880 --> 01:29:11,400
Speaker 1: around the universe. Chris, thank you for calling.

1491
01:29:12,360 --> 01:29:13,439
Speaker 6: Yeah, man, I have a good night.

1492
01:29:13,640 --> 01:29:19,320
Speaker 1: You too. I was lovely. Thank you very much everyone

1493
01:29:19,360 --> 01:29:26,920
Speaker 1: for listening to the Therapy Gecko podcast today. Good calls today. Uh,

1494
01:29:27,600 --> 01:29:31,439
Speaker 1: talking to Otter was cool, talking to Erica was cool.

1495
01:29:32,160 --> 01:29:35,320
Speaker 1: Talking to Chris was cool. Good calls today. Good episode

1496
01:29:35,320 --> 01:29:38,720
Speaker 1: of the pod. Good pod. I love a good pod.

1497
01:29:39,560 --> 01:29:42,800
Speaker 1: I love I love when I when I take off

1498
01:29:42,880 --> 01:29:44,439
Speaker 1: the geck go ahead and I'm like, this was a

1499
01:29:44,479 --> 01:29:46,840
Speaker 1: good one. I liked that one. Today is one of

1500
01:29:46,840 --> 01:29:54,400
Speaker 1: those days. Stay beautiful and see you see you next time.

1501
01:29:55,720 --> 01:29:59,280
Speaker 1: Ghek bless it goes on the line.

1502
01:29:59,520 --> 01:29:59,880
Speaker 3: Thank you.

1503
01:30:00,000 --> 01:30:03,000
Speaker 1: The phone calls every night. Never big Get goes to

1504
01:30:03,120 --> 01:30:05,920
Speaker 1: on his right, you're just teaching news housing over your life.

1505
01:30:06,280 --> 01:30:09,240
Speaker 1: But he's not really an expert.