Speaker 1: What was good was popping into a Girl a Mada.
Speaker 1: And welcome to another episode, to another show of Exactly
Speaker 1: a Mada. This is a production of My heart and
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Speaker 1: to have this podcast where I can just be open, honest,
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Speaker 1: Also leave comments. Leave comments. I always love to sit
Speaker 1: there and just read everything that you guys have to say,
Speaker 1: whether it's good or bad. Um or if you want
Speaker 1: something specific like I'm not I'm going through a situation,
Speaker 1: or I want to hear about this ballet, write it
Speaker 1: in there. We're gonna check it out and we're gonna
Speaker 1: make it happen. So today's episode it's about lessons that
Speaker 1: can be learned from your ex or rather better the
Speaker 1: lessons that I learned from my ex um and to
Speaker 1: talk about it. Look, I don't have to feel excited,
Speaker 1: depressed or confused battle. I need to balance who my
Speaker 1: energy is, my producer, my friend, colleague, Alex, Alex, are
Speaker 1: you in here. I'm so glad I'm here because the
Speaker 1: beginning of that sounded like, Hey, am I bringing her down?
Speaker 1: Am I depressing a model? Right now? She's She's like,
Speaker 1: I need him to bring me back. Yeah, I need
Speaker 1: you to bring the balance to this because whenever you
Speaker 1: hear the word X, you are ready, like you're honestly
Speaker 1: always ready to be on the defense mode. And it
Speaker 1: depends how soon it was, depends who it was, depends
Speaker 1: how you guys broke up, it depends how many things.
Speaker 1: But I mean, hey, I'm still friends with a lot
Speaker 1: of xsmut. Really, we have some really great friends. We'll
Speaker 1: talk about that towards the later part of the episode.
Speaker 1: But I'm you know, yeah, I don't have one X
Speaker 1: that I'm not Have you ever gone back to an X?
Speaker 1: But you guys broke up and then he went back
Speaker 1: to them? No, No, every single time we got together,
Speaker 1: we ended things, but we still remained really good friends. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I want excess to disappear, Like why are you still briefing?
Speaker 1: Why are you still here? Like we just what's employee?
Speaker 1: You're you know saying you already done enough? Damnage? Is
Speaker 1: time we used to go? But um, anyway, I mean
Speaker 1: go out of my life. You know, if you're still
Speaker 1: here in the world damaging other women, that's on you. Bet.
Speaker 1: I just want you to disappear in my life and
Speaker 1: never see you again. And if so, I want to
Speaker 1: see you doing terrible so I can look at you
Speaker 1: be like you see what I'm saying karmas a bit. Anyway,
Speaker 1: let's get to you know what. Yeah, I wanted to
Speaker 1: know a matter when when did you really start dating?
Speaker 1: When did you jump into the dating scene? How old
Speaker 1: were you when you knew you were on your very
Speaker 1: first I think I don't know, because like just like lunch,
Speaker 1: lunch count as a date. Yeah, that's a date if
Speaker 1: you're sitting there talking and yeah, but I'm plenty lunch
Speaker 1: high school, like you know, you're in high school. Whatever
Speaker 1: you like? Look, you know what, yeah, because that is
Speaker 1: your that is your world that was where you were
Speaker 1: in so as a teenager, and that's what we're gonna
Speaker 1: talk about right now. As a teenager, do you remember
Speaker 1: your very first dates, last relationship and break up in
Speaker 1: that world that you lived on. I remember, I remember,
Speaker 1: Oh my god, this is so terrible. I remember having
Speaker 1: like high school dates, but it was more like, listen,
Speaker 1: our fourth period, we're gonna sit together in the same table, okay,
Speaker 1: and then we would have that half an hour of
Speaker 1: eating together whatever, and then we went our separate ways.
Speaker 1: We never did anything, but to me at that moment,
Speaker 1: that was like a big thing. You know, we're sitting
Speaker 1: together in the lunch table or whatever. Um. And then
Speaker 1: you know, later on in life, you know, I did
Speaker 1: date my teacher, but that's another conversation. Um. But yeah,
Speaker 1: like in the dating dating scene, I think I kind
Speaker 1: of I started later on, say at the end of
Speaker 1: high school or something like that. So more towards your
Speaker 1: the ending of your tea yeah, the ending of my teens,
Speaker 1: the ending of my team of my teens. Because everything else,
Speaker 1: I think it was just kind of cute. I wouldn't
Speaker 1: consider it like dating dating. I just thought it was cute.
Speaker 1: Battle Um. Yeah, because you also could break up in
Speaker 1: high school, you know, if you grab a pen from
Speaker 1: someone who you know you're the person you're dating, thought
Speaker 1: you you were flirting with because you grabbed their pen.
Speaker 1: Breakups in high school hurt, you know. I remember breaking
Speaker 1: up with my girlfriend at the time and we were dating,
Speaker 1: we were high school sweethearts, and everyone came out of
Speaker 1: the woodwork people. I never even talked to jock's cheerleader. Everything.
Speaker 1: We're like, we're so sorry to hear, you know, but
Speaker 1: I'm like, what, yeah, I know again, when you first
Speaker 1: start finding out what love is and we started liking someone,
Speaker 1: the beginning of those breakups is really like the most
Speaker 1: hurtful ones ever. So I totally get I mean, I
Speaker 1: get it, um, but I'll say this much. I'll say
Speaker 1: that looking back, like if I really had to go
Speaker 1: out the studio, looking back into my dating life, I've
Speaker 1: made the worst choices ever, and I haven't gotten any better.
Speaker 1: Some people just aren't good at making uh, you know,
Speaker 1: choices when it comes to their significant other. And I
Speaker 1: also always think that that also comes with childhood traumas
Speaker 1: you end up just picking the wrong person just because
Speaker 1: you want affection or because you want to be loved
Speaker 1: and you can see all the red flags, and then
Speaker 1: you'll still stick around because you're just looking to feel that,
Speaker 1: you know, that empty spot. So so even so so
Speaker 1: moving away from from your teenage years because it sounds
Speaker 1: like you were just kind of like, okay, cool, yeah,
Speaker 1: And then I also, girls, there's nothing really there wasn't
Speaker 1: there wasn't really nothing there to learn except your your
Speaker 1: You were experimenting and seeing what you wanted. So let
Speaker 1: me ask you something. You said that throughout the years
Speaker 1: you've made mistakes and you kind of fall back on that,
Speaker 1: on that blade again, over and over and over again.
Speaker 1: So this has been happening since you you were in
Speaker 1: your twenties up to now. What what are some of
Speaker 1: the things that you think you've you you know that
Speaker 1: you've learned, but you continue to just put them aside
Speaker 1: and and make the mistakes. Like when you look at
Speaker 1: the guy, you can already smell it. You can smell
Speaker 1: when they're all players. You can smell just a walking
Speaker 1: redah when they're red flags, when they're too months into themselves,
Speaker 1: when they are talking to too many women, when they
Speaker 1: break their neck to look at the girl that's walking by,
Speaker 1: or whatever. There's many red flags that you see, and
Speaker 1: then you try to convince yourself became. You know, I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna let him be himself. I don't want to
Speaker 1: put too many pressure, you know, too much pressure. You know, Um,
Speaker 1: if he's dating me is because he really likes me.
Speaker 1: He doesn't have to be with me, so I guess,
Speaker 1: and you just put up. You create these like excuses
Speaker 1: yourselves to forgive bad behavior. That's that I find. I
Speaker 1: find that that's something that a lot of people do.
Speaker 1: They find an excuse and just exactly the way you
Speaker 1: said it to remove that bad behavior and think that's
Speaker 1: something might you blame yourself. You blame yourself like anytime
Speaker 1: something goes wrong, and it's something that women do for
Speaker 1: the most part. Like it's funny because when when a
Speaker 1: man breaks up with a girl, you know, or let's
Speaker 1: say reverse, when a girl breaks up with a guy,
Speaker 1: you automatically say, oh, she's crazy or there's something wrong
Speaker 1: with her or that it's always the opposite person that
Speaker 1: you blame women for the most part, if a man
Speaker 1: breaks up with us, where like, what did I do wrong?
Speaker 1: There must be something wrong with me. I must have
Speaker 1: pushed him away, so it's like it's kind of hard,
Speaker 1: it's kind of hard to see where it's coming. Is
Speaker 1: that Is that something that you've learned from your relationships
Speaker 1: where a guy has gone out and done that and said,
Speaker 1: oh my god, I'm crazy. Like, yeah, they're trying to
Speaker 1: make you feel like, oh, okay, you've got problems. You've
Speaker 1: got problems, or you've got self susteem problems, or you've
Speaker 1: got insecurities because you just peep the red flag. And
Speaker 1: I also believe that women, for the most part, we
Speaker 1: give a lot of warnings. We give a lot of
Speaker 1: warnings before we give up on something. Like when a
Speaker 1: woman is over something, that means that she's already tried,
Speaker 1: she's already spoken this, that she's you know, she gave
Speaker 1: out her warnings. A lot of guys don't actually pay
Speaker 1: attention to them or don't think that that day is
Speaker 1: ever going to come. They kind of get comfortable. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: I've seen my warnings. So can you can pretty much
Speaker 1: say that you know for you as you for yourself here,
Speaker 1: do you see the person first and not your expectations
Speaker 1: or do you reverse that? Do you have expectations of
Speaker 1: that person and then start to see things developed with
Speaker 1: that person um in front. Unfortunately, I feel that sometimes
Speaker 1: I do have expectations for them because I like build
Speaker 1: the bears, I like build a guy. I want to
Speaker 1: I want to train you like a puppy. I can
Speaker 1: fix you, like there's you have so much potential. I
Speaker 1: can fix this. And that's the biggest mistake as women
Speaker 1: as men is being in relationships with people that we
Speaker 1: feel that we can fix them. You know, you have
Speaker 1: to accept people for who they are as they are,
Speaker 1: and that's just what it is. They're not going to change.
Speaker 1: They can evolve from being who they are, but they're
Speaker 1: not going to change. And that has been my biggest mistake.
Speaker 1: I've always dated men that I feel that I can change, um,
Speaker 1: that I can make better, and it hasn't worked out.
Speaker 1: So have you not trusted your intuition and all these
Speaker 1: and all of these mishaps or I've trusted its trusted
Speaker 1: I just disregarded it because deep down and said, you
Speaker 1: know when a guy is no good or you know
Speaker 1: when you shouldn't date this person, like this person seems
Speaker 1: like trouble. Like whenever they say, oh I'm single, you
Speaker 1: know you're like you're single? Like you mean today, like
Speaker 1: for now, Like you're really saying, I don't know, you
Speaker 1: could be dating them and you could see suspicious movements,
Speaker 1: the calls that I gotta go outside to pick up
Speaker 1: this phone call, or the you know, I don't know. Um,
Speaker 1: you're always and these are all and these are all
Speaker 1: things you've learned throughout the years from your excess in
Speaker 1: your life. Yeah, basically because the only way you can
Speaker 1: learn these things is through your own personal experience. Like
Speaker 1: no matter how much people tell you, and how many
Speaker 1: would you say in a number of off the top
Speaker 1: of your head, excess wise boys and girls, because you've
Speaker 1: explained on the show before the dated or seen women, Um,
Speaker 1: where do you see number one? How many of these
Speaker 1: excess you think you you can count that have taught
Speaker 1: you a lesson or you've learned something from some of
Speaker 1: them that will make you better all of them almos
Speaker 1: happening they made from one I learned, don't be so
Speaker 1: financially open when as a woman, when you're so financially
Speaker 1: open to me, if there's nothing wrong, if I make
Speaker 1: I says, I'll be like, oh my god, bab I'm
Speaker 1: so excited. I just got this opportunity and made fifty grand,
Speaker 1: this other person might not look especially if they don't
Speaker 1: make as much money as you do. UM. That's another
Speaker 1: one that I learned. They look at you with like, oh,
Speaker 1: you got money, so now you're no longer you know,
Speaker 1: paying for dinners or putting up money because you feel like, well,
Speaker 1: you got it. Don't be financially open too. Definitely learned
Speaker 1: that don't ever date anybody and I and I used
Speaker 1: to like it because anytime I see those movies where
Speaker 1: I see people that you know, no, no, we worked
Speaker 1: together and we built this empire. I always wanted to
Speaker 1: build an empire with somebody. But then I realized times
Speaker 1: have changed and things have changed, and everybody's the same.
Speaker 1: When you date someone that has less than you do,
Speaker 1: especially being a woman, there's always a sense of competition,
Speaker 1: whether they tell you or not. Deep down inside, there's
Speaker 1: always a sense of like, you know, Cia Stanto, I
Speaker 1: gotta do tanto and she's driving a Maserati. I gotta
Speaker 1: drive a Bentley and she there's always that sense of competition.
Speaker 1: Definitely learned that. UM, I learned do you do you
Speaker 1: count that as a a problem? A break in communication
Speaker 1: within the relationship where you maybe UM, are expressing too
Speaker 1: much or too little? How do you see that? And
Speaker 1: when you in the communication of a know that they
Speaker 1: that you should be completely open with your partner Today's today,
Speaker 1: after my experiences in life today, I would say you shouldn't.
Speaker 1: I feel that no matter what, you should still preserve
Speaker 1: some things for yourself, you know, and always be clear
Speaker 1: in the fact that you're two separate individuals. You know,
Speaker 1: you have you, I have me. We have us, but
Speaker 1: you have you can't lose yourself in the midst of that.
Speaker 1: And that also includes financially. We can have an account together,
Speaker 1: and we both have to have our individual things. So
Speaker 1: you can't express everything that you have, everything that you own.
Speaker 1: I don't. I just don't think that it's healthy. And
Speaker 1: it should be, but I don't think that it's healthy.
Speaker 1: So let me ask you somewhere where did it go
Speaker 1: wrong for you? How come you have not been able
Speaker 1: to pick up these patterns or have you and you
Speaker 1: just ignore them, the patterns of these certain lessons that
Speaker 1: I don't realize that I am following a pattern til
Speaker 1: after I'm in it, you know, after I'm in it,
Speaker 1: when I realized, damn, I did it again. You know,
Speaker 1: I did the build the bear to fix, you know,
Speaker 1: make a guy, you know, um, the with the oh
Speaker 1: he has potential, he's so great. And now I'm and
Speaker 1: now I feel like my mom was right. My mom
Speaker 1: always says together because you already have your stuff together,
Speaker 1: or at least for the most part, you're more put
Speaker 1: together than a lot of women out there. So you know,
Speaker 1: you have to find somebody that's gonna lift you up.
Speaker 1: And I'm always trying to lift other people up, you know,
Speaker 1: So no, I'm not doing that anymore. Sorry. And what
Speaker 1: about if you were to talk to someone um or
Speaker 1: have you been in a situation where the person is
Speaker 1: trying to fix themselves? Is that a red flag for
Speaker 1: you or is it something that you could think you
Speaker 1: could take on and be helpful with. No, Bobby, when
Speaker 1: you finished working on yourself hot at me the end
Speaker 1: when you feel that you get your life together, and
Speaker 1: so it talk to me because I did that for
Speaker 1: a very long time. And what ends up happening, Ladies,
Speaker 1: tell me if I'm right or wrong. For the most part,
Speaker 1: girls like me that are fixers that you want to
Speaker 1: fix men and you want to build them, you wind
Speaker 1: up building them for the next bitch, you end up
Speaker 1: building them for the next woman because after you get them,
Speaker 1: when the confidence is low, you let them know how
Speaker 1: amazing they are. You clean them off. You you clement,
Speaker 1: You fix them up the quest soon as they know them. Like, yeah,
Speaker 1: the same thing happens with guys that get girls that
Speaker 1: are get on FATA. Right. You got money, you get
Speaker 1: her boobs done, you get her three sixty life or
Speaker 1: her bibyl hair done, expensive bags that they don't. You
Speaker 1: started taking her to expensive dinners that she's never been to,
Speaker 1: you know, surrounding her around different environments of people. You
Speaker 1: know what your trash. I can do this without you
Speaker 1: and don't say they forget where they started. So that's
Speaker 1: that's kind of hard, right, Like sometimes you're trying to
Speaker 1: when you're trying to gauge someone and and learning about them,
Speaker 1: you really don't know upfront because a lot of people
Speaker 1: won't be up front if they're fixing themselves, right, and
Speaker 1: that you know, I would think that from your past excess,
Speaker 1: did you have one or two or three maybe that
Speaker 1: you knew we're going through something like that, or or
Speaker 1: were you always the one to want to build the guy? No,
Speaker 1: I and in some occasions I didn't know. You know,
Speaker 1: you started seeing it later on because a lot of people.
Speaker 1: And that's another thing. Um, guys, ladies, jen's um stop
Speaker 1: doing that, Like if you don't got it, just don't
Speaker 1: have it. Stop trying to pretend. In the beginning, you know,
Speaker 1: you show you show like that character, like the good
Speaker 1: side of you, you know the game, I'm so perfect,
Speaker 1: and they get don't fart, you know what I'm so
Speaker 1: I don't do nothing. No from the beginning, show me
Speaker 1: all your flaws, me that I wake up late, I'm dirty,
Speaker 1: I never pick up it, I don't do this, you know,
Speaker 1: I don't know. Show me everything. Then you decide, you
Speaker 1: know what, I think I can deal with this, I
Speaker 1: can fix this, or I want to you know that's cool.
Speaker 1: But in the beginning, I've had guys that have shown
Speaker 1: me the moods and the stars gase perfect though, and
Speaker 1: later on with time you start to realize, wait, all
Speaker 1: of this was a facade. So that's that's terrible, that's crazy,
Speaker 1: That's that's insane. I would say, sometimes you gotta love yourself,
Speaker 1: um a little bit more than to settle with something
Speaker 1: uh detrimental that could bring mental breakdown. For yourself and
Speaker 1: in more anguish towards the relationships and learn stop settling.
Speaker 1: Don't settle. I was a settler. I'm not doing it anymore.
Speaker 1: Sometimes did you stay with them because you were comfortable?
Speaker 1: That happens a lot too. It's like marriages a lot
Speaker 1: of times. To stick with somebody not because you are
Speaker 1: in love anymore, it's just because I'm comfortable. I already
Speaker 1: know you. I don't want to start all over again.
Speaker 1: You know you've already seen me naked, you already know
Speaker 1: everything about me. Is like, all right, I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: stick around and be here. And then you realize you
Speaker 1: left the best years of your life being with somebody
Speaker 1: just because you didn't want to put the effort of
Speaker 1: starting all over again. So don't settle. If you know
Speaker 1: that you're with somebody that you should be doing better,
Speaker 1: or this person doesn't deserve you, or you're with someone
Speaker 1: because you don't want to be by yourself, which is
Speaker 1: something that happens a lot. You don't want to be
Speaker 1: lonely and all, been there, done that, don't do it.
Speaker 1: Not doing it anymore? NOTO. What's what's one of the
Speaker 1: biggest lessons you've learned? For one particular excite. Is there
Speaker 1: someone in your in your life that stands out the
Speaker 1: most that you're like, damn, Like you always kind of
Speaker 1: think about it. You know, everyone has that, Everyone has
Speaker 1: that one person they're like, damn you know, um, maybe too,
Speaker 1: But for yourself, do you is anyone on the back
Speaker 1: of your mind that you knew that that lesson that
Speaker 1: you learned from that person? You cannot commit again. You
Speaker 1: don't have to name them, but the situation um lesson
Speaker 1: learn Whenever they say they're gonna pull out, don't listen
Speaker 1: to them. It's a lot. You gotta put it out yourself.
Speaker 1: You gotta put it out yourself or wrap it up.
Speaker 1: Don't trust that. Ladies don't trust it. Wow, and and
Speaker 1: and and I'm assuming I'm not gonna assume that is
Speaker 1: a that is a lesson learned from your from your
Speaker 1: from your younger years, from when you were first learning
Speaker 1: about And that's crazy. Just the tip or don't believe
Speaker 1: none of that. Don't believe out of it. You can
Speaker 1: get in trouble. Um. I was saying, that goes both ways.
Speaker 1: Guys out there listening to this podcast, if a girl
Speaker 1: tells you just do it, it's fine, you be careful. UM.
Speaker 1: I will also say, hey, I'll be joking around, but
Speaker 1: it's real for a lot of people. UM. I would
Speaker 1: also say, when you start dating someone, if you really
Speaker 1: like them, make sure that they're single. If they tell
Speaker 1: you that they're single. I don't think that these days
Speaker 1: you can no longer just believe the fact that they
Speaker 1: said that they're single. I need proof and evidence. I
Speaker 1: need to investigate the situation. You know, um if you
Speaker 1: say that you're Because that's another thing. When guys want
Speaker 1: to get it, they'll be like, oh, you know, I'm married,
Speaker 1: but we're separated. You know, we have for having problems
Speaker 1: right now, things aren't working. You know, I'm getting a
Speaker 1: divorce or I'm already a divorce in the process of
Speaker 1: she doesn't want me. Okay, I need facts and evidence,
Speaker 1: please Texas bitch right now and say something sweet to
Speaker 1: her to see how she's gonna answer you back. And
Speaker 1: she says, Bobby this and that you're lying, and she's like,
Speaker 1: what the fund do you want? It sounds like my girl?
Speaker 1: All right, So that's it. But what if you have someone,
Speaker 1: what if you have an exit? Actually literally like still
Speaker 1: you know, not in the sense of love love, but
Speaker 1: loves you to death. You know you've had that. Really,
Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't know. I need to have
Speaker 1: some type of proof that you're actually single, because these
Speaker 1: days everybody says that they're single and they're really not.
Speaker 1: They just want to have face time and walk around
Speaker 1: your face time and walk around your house. Open all
Speaker 1: the drawers. Can you please open your medicine cabinet? Let
Speaker 1: me see open is an extra toothbrush. As a matter
Speaker 1: of fact, ladies, here's another one. When you go to
Speaker 1: the shower, do you have some bed bath and beyond
Speaker 1: jelly fruity shit? No, that's no, that's the sign you're
Speaker 1: not using this part of metro? What's wrong with stuff?
Speaker 1: Something is off? Do you have some like you know,
Speaker 1: girly pink shaver or something? I need to know or
Speaker 1: I really put my feelings into it because you can't
Speaker 1: trust these days, and that's the thing people be having
Speaker 1: these double lives. I just feel like, be honest. Look,
Speaker 1: if you're just so you can say so you can
Speaker 1: say lesson learned. Maybe is that well, yeah, that's happen,
Speaker 1: that's will definitely happened to me. But I just feel like,
Speaker 1: be honest. Like, because I might still want to funk
Speaker 1: with you if you're honest, if you're like, Look, I'm married,
Speaker 1: all right, I got my wife, I have ten kids,
Speaker 1: I got a nine of five. This is what it is.
Speaker 1: Do you still like me? Okay, at least you gave me.
Speaker 1: At least you gave me an opportunity. Hey, listen, I'm
Speaker 1: being honest with you right now. Okay, my life is
Speaker 1: and shambles, all this going on, but exactly, but you
Speaker 1: know what, you find me attractive? I find you attractive.
Speaker 1: We have good chemistry. Do you still want to mess
Speaker 1: with me? At least you gave me the opportunity. But
Speaker 1: don't lie to me. Don't make me like you. Don't
Speaker 1: make me fall into this crap. To the leader on
Speaker 1: realized that all of it was a lie. I think
Speaker 1: that's disrespectful and I think that that is a great
Speaker 1: topic for a future episode that we can we can
Speaker 1: definitely talk about, about, you know, the double lives and
Speaker 1: how people you know live them. I mean, there's people
Speaker 1: out there who are married, have kids and are living
Speaker 1: a completely separate life outside and just men. Women do
Speaker 1: it too, women too, Yeah, and the opposite partner in
Speaker 1: the situation has no idea, especially long distance relationships. I'm
Speaker 1: just saying. I'm not saying, but I'm just saying, so, yeah,
Speaker 1: you gotta be careful social media. Man, you just like
Speaker 1: one picture and next thing, you know, you've been dating
Speaker 1: for three years online said, but that's another thing. You know.
Speaker 1: Social media is another way of also having a double life.
Speaker 1: You know, there's guys that wake up every morning to
Speaker 1: text a little Instagram girlfriend that you've never met. But
Speaker 1: you cater and give attention to this person more than
Speaker 1: you do to the person that sitting next to you
Speaker 1: every day. There's laying next to you every day. So yeah,
Speaker 1: these things are important. Learned from our excess today, ladies
Speaker 1: and gentlemen, we have learned a lot. We've known. You've
Speaker 1: gotten very very personal today, which is great for our
Speaker 1: listeners to this. And I'm not saying that all of
Speaker 1: these situations our minds. I'm just saying, over right, right,
Speaker 1: So you you've you've shared enough with us from your
Speaker 1: personal life that we can relate to what has happened.
Speaker 1: You know, what has happened to you? Oh man, This
Speaker 1: episode will last another three days, but at leave is
Speaker 1: one thing that you learned from your ex Um, I've
Speaker 1: learned that. I've I've definitely learned that sometimes you have
Speaker 1: to trust another I've had a lot of issues with
Speaker 1: trust in the past, and it was all in my head.
Speaker 1: It was all in my head, and I've put the
Speaker 1: blame on on on other people thinking and making things
Speaker 1: up that weren't real. So, you know, I went through
Speaker 1: a bad marriage. I got divorced shortly after I was
Speaker 1: dating around and and it kind of played with my
Speaker 1: mind that this person really like me or were they
Speaker 1: talking to blah blah blah. So I played the trick
Speaker 1: in my own head and I lost a lot of
Speaker 1: relationships because of it. Yeah. Trust is a big that's true.
Speaker 1: I've done the same thing you have that you you
Speaker 1: come up with things in your mind because you just
Speaker 1: don't trust the other person. It's hard to trust because
Speaker 1: for you to be like that, that means if somebody
Speaker 1: had to funk you up, like somebody messed up with
Speaker 1: your trust and now you don't trust. It's like a cycle. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So the one thing I've learned from my exis is
Speaker 1: that I should listen and communicate, you know, which is
Speaker 1: now sitting here in my thirties. I can tell you
Speaker 1: that I am a complete different person from the person
Speaker 1: that I was in my twenties. And I've learned to listen,
Speaker 1: trust and just be open, you know, and just not
Speaker 1: sit here and be close minded to what the world
Speaker 1: has to for because you know that can that can
Speaker 1: hurt everyone in the end if you're just like, you know,
Speaker 1: what's something I also learned I must admit, like on
Speaker 1: a more positive side, Um, sometimes you have to let
Speaker 1: go of things. Let go of things. Um, you can't fight.
Speaker 1: You have to learn how to choose and pick your battles.
Speaker 1: You can't fight and argue for every single petty little
Speaker 1: things like sometimes you know, all that argument, all that fighting,
Speaker 1: all that sometimes you be nagging and being petty and
Speaker 1: just looking that that can really mess up a relationship.
Speaker 1: Do I think the relationships wants to one? A little argument? Okay, cool,
Speaker 1: little looking for something that's super unhealthy. Sometimes you have
Speaker 1: to know when to back up and be like, you
Speaker 1: know what, and I'm not gonna do it today. I'm
Speaker 1: just gonna and you know, we're we're you know, Latinos
Speaker 1: are very firing, you know Hispanish Latinos are very fire.
Speaker 1: So we're known to sometimes spark up a little argument
Speaker 1: over spilled you know. So that's you know, we gotta
Speaker 1: look into ourselves and change that sometimes, but we're still
Speaker 1: who we still are who we are. We gotta be
Speaker 1: proud of it. The last thing I'm gonna leave you
Speaker 1: here with is before we get out of here, is
Speaker 1: you know, um, we're not responsible for anyone else's happiness
Speaker 1: about our own correct? Correct? Yeah, most definitely. I mean
Speaker 1: I do think that in order to make somebody else happy,
Speaker 1: you have to be happy yourself, um, which is a
Speaker 1: very hard thing to do, because we try to find
Speaker 1: our happiness within somebody else, and that goes both ways.
Speaker 1: You know, stop looking for this happy you, stop looking
Speaker 1: for your spouse to fulfill or your significant other to
Speaker 1: fulfill that emptiness that you have inside. That's something you've
Speaker 1: got to figure out on your own. Uh. That's another reason,
Speaker 1: another way for you to end up a good relationship
Speaker 1: for somebody that actually really loves you and really cares
Speaker 1: about you and really wants to be with you, because
Speaker 1: you put them all the responsibility of your happiness on them,
Speaker 1: they gotta be They gotta worry about being happy themselves too.
Speaker 1: So I think that's something that we definitely have to
Speaker 1: work on UM. And I feel that realistically, this conversation
Speaker 1: can go on and on because I feel there's so
Speaker 1: many lessons learned, good and bad. For the more is
Speaker 1: probably know I was hitting you out with the bad.
Speaker 1: There's some good things. I've also learned from my excess
Speaker 1: that I'm grateful for them. I'm grateful for every single
Speaker 1: man I've ever loved, even if they haven't loved me
Speaker 1: back the way that I loved them, or every girl whatever. Um,
Speaker 1: I'm grateful because I learned, I'm matured and maybe the
Speaker 1: woman that I am today. UM, I will never regret
Speaker 1: loving someone because I gave the best out of me. Now,
Speaker 1: if they did wrong by me, that's on them, But
Speaker 1: I gave the best out of me, and I think
Speaker 1: that that should be the same way for everybody. If
Speaker 1: you ever feel that somebody has done you wrong, don't
Speaker 1: feel bad that they did you. You know, feel bad
Speaker 1: find that that they did you wrong. But if you
Speaker 1: did good by them, that's okay. Let Papado take care
Speaker 1: of them, let them, you know, let God handle that
Speaker 1: you did the right thing. So with that being said,
Speaker 1: there's so many lessons learned from my exes there's so
Speaker 1: many more things I'm sure I will learn right now,
Speaker 1: you know, I just I just recently learned a lot
Speaker 1: of hangs from my ex. Uh. But oh boy, never
Speaker 1: blame someone else for the road you're on. But I
Speaker 1: am grateful for every single experience, good or bad. I
Speaker 1: am grateful for every lesson because just because I said lesson,
Speaker 1: it don't mean that it's bad. I'm grateful for everything.
Speaker 1: You know, if you hadn't gone through all the things
Speaker 1: you've gone through in life, you wouldn't be who you are.
Speaker 1: You wouldn't be where you are today, So you gotta
Speaker 1: look at it that way. Alex, this has been so good.
Speaker 1: I must admit this has been so good. It's been
Speaker 1: interesting and made me um laugh and made me think. Uh.
Speaker 1: It made me actually want to keep asking myself some
Speaker 1: of these questions because a lot of times these type
Speaker 1: of conversations are very self healing to hear yourself out
Speaker 1: loud express certain things. So thank you so much, no problem,
Speaker 1: That's what I'm here for, you know, come up with
Speaker 1: ideas together and we serenade our audience. Yeah, and if
Speaker 1: you guys can relate to today's topic, I definitely want
Speaker 1: to learn um and know on exactly I'm on Instagram
Speaker 1: and on Twitter. What lessons have you learned from your ex?
Speaker 1: What did your ex taught you that you'll always carry
Speaker 1: that with you or that you feel like, damn it,
Speaker 1: you know, if it wasn't because of this experience that
Speaker 1: I had, I have never done this, or whatever the
Speaker 1: case may be, I definitely want to know, So go
Speaker 1: leave some comments there and you can also leave some
Speaker 1: comments at the YouTube channel. Go on the search bar
Speaker 1: and write exactly a Mata and you can see all
Speaker 1: the behind the scenes of this actual podcast. But with
Speaker 1: that being said, thank you everyone for joining me and
Speaker 1: remember to follow exactly a Mata and Microua podcast on Instagram.
Speaker 1: You can also watch the podcast and the YouTube channel.
Speaker 1: This has been a production of I Heart micro Tua
Speaker 1: podcast network, and for more podcasts from my Heart, visit
Speaker 1: That I Heard Radio app, Apple podcast, or wherever you
Speaker 1: listen to your favorite podcast show. Thank you so much, Alex.
Speaker 1: I shall see you soon. Everybody, Gang Gang Gang, See
Speaker 1: you next Thursday. Exactly in my Life. H