1 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:25,599 Speaker 1: Um okay podcast starts now. Okay podcast starts now. Hello world, 2 00:00:25,680 --> 00:00:29,760 Speaker 1: you are listening to a renowned podcast radio lab. George. 3 00:00:29,840 --> 00:00:34,760 Speaker 1: How are you doing? Um? Happy? Nine eleven? Uh? He 4 00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:38,400 Speaker 1: went there? Okay, dirt bag left, We're here. I had 5 00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:42,560 Speaker 1: a moment today where I was like should I should 6 00:00:42,640 --> 00:00:46,360 Speaker 1: I post about nine eleven? And then I was like, no, 7 00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:49,200 Speaker 1: what are you talking about? What would you have said? 8 00:00:49,240 --> 00:00:50,919 Speaker 1: What was your post that you were bringing. I'm not 9 00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:53,720 Speaker 1: I'm not gonna. I mean when nine eleven happened, my 10 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:56,040 Speaker 1: family lived in New Jersey and might add worked in Manhattan, 11 00:00:56,080 --> 00:00:58,920 Speaker 1: so like I do distinct like not to you know, 12 00:00:59,200 --> 00:01:00,960 Speaker 1: I was living in the area, and I have like 13 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:04,200 Speaker 1: a personal experience of it, and I remember, like, you know, 14 00:01:05,160 --> 00:01:07,080 Speaker 1: not knowing if my dad was okay, and like waiting 15 00:01:07,080 --> 00:01:09,080 Speaker 1: to be picked up at school. Then my mom came 16 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:12,640 Speaker 1: to school. Everyone else was getting picked up and my mom, 17 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:14,680 Speaker 1: like everyone else was getting picked up, and it was 18 00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:17,240 Speaker 1: like okay, this family safe, this family safe. And my 19 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:20,560 Speaker 1: mom did not come early and came right when school ended, 20 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,039 Speaker 1: meaning I was waiting in the gym for like the 21 00:01:23,240 --> 00:01:25,320 Speaker 1: entire school day, and then she came and I was 22 00:01:25,360 --> 00:01:27,320 Speaker 1: like everyone else came and picked up their kids early. 23 00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:30,240 Speaker 1: And she was like why and I was like, because 24 00:01:30,280 --> 00:01:31,920 Speaker 1: of nine eleven and she's like, well, yeah, but I 25 00:01:31,920 --> 00:01:36,240 Speaker 1: mean school was still happening, right. I love that in 26 00:01:36,319 --> 00:01:38,640 Speaker 1: that story, you, as a child knew it was already 27 00:01:38,760 --> 00:01:41,399 Speaker 1: nine eleven. I said, I said, haven't you heard it's 28 00:01:41,440 --> 00:01:44,399 Speaker 1: nine eleven. It's not eleven, it's the nine eleven, the 29 00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:47,080 Speaker 1: one I've been telling you is coming, and it's I know, 30 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:50,640 Speaker 1: And you know I can't legally talk about why I knew, 31 00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:53,680 Speaker 1: but I did. Also, I just have to say, George, 32 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:55,600 Speaker 1: you know a running theme in this podcast is how 33 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:58,200 Speaker 1: absolutely piste off you are your bitch of a mom, 34 00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:02,480 Speaker 1: and I to say, I have to go of that anger. Listen, 35 00:02:02,760 --> 00:02:04,680 Speaker 1: you have called my mom a bit on this podcast 36 00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:08,120 Speaker 1: over five times, and I have never said that. Look, 37 00:02:08,240 --> 00:02:10,919 Speaker 1: I'm literally just interpreting what you're saying. I'm a mirror. 38 00:02:11,240 --> 00:02:15,320 Speaker 1: I know you're bringing this very kind of like passive 39 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:18,240 Speaker 1: wasp energy where you're like, my mom, yeah, I've met her, 40 00:02:18,560 --> 00:02:20,880 Speaker 1: and I'm like, no, you know, my mom and I 41 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:23,320 Speaker 1: have fights, then we work it out like it's a 42 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:26,800 Speaker 1: more healthy relationship. All I'm ever hearing from you is like, 43 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:33,320 Speaker 1: oh my bitch, mom this you know once again six times? Okay, Look, 44 00:02:33,360 --> 00:02:37,040 Speaker 1: I'm literally just saying what you're telling me. The last 45 00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:38,919 Speaker 1: time this happened, I was talking about how my mom 46 00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:42,520 Speaker 1: like I was making coffee and my mom was like, oh, 47 00:02:42,720 --> 00:02:44,200 Speaker 1: you know, the water doesn't go there, and then you 48 00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:49,720 Speaker 1: were like, she sounds like a bit. Look, unfortunately, we 49 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:52,160 Speaker 1: have no way of looking this information up, so we 50 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:57,400 Speaker 1: don't know. Well, we delete the podcast episodes right when 51 00:02:57,400 --> 00:03:01,760 Speaker 1: we post them. That way are more valuable. Sometimes our 52 00:03:01,800 --> 00:03:05,800 Speaker 1: audience grows and we say, no, I'm scared of success. 53 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:09,799 Speaker 1: How about you? Yeah, me too. Um. You know, actually, pathetically, 54 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:12,880 Speaker 1: I did make a nine eleven post. Um, Oh my god, 55 00:03:12,919 --> 00:03:15,320 Speaker 1: what was it? Well, it was you were you Prower 56 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:22,160 Speaker 1: against Um? It was a neutral take it just um. 57 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:26,760 Speaker 1: I said that when I was in when nine eleven happened, 58 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:30,240 Speaker 1: I was scared because I was in the third largest 59 00:03:30,240 --> 00:03:33,400 Speaker 1: middle school in Ohio and we were sure, like, just 60 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:36,720 Speaker 1: statistically speaking, that was probably the next target. That's a 61 00:03:36,840 --> 00:03:40,840 Speaker 1: really funny joke. Well, and that's true. You know, I 62 00:03:40,880 --> 00:03:44,000 Speaker 1: remember being in the library and the kids being like, well, 63 00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:46,240 Speaker 1: I mean think about it, like we are the that's 64 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:49,760 Speaker 1: the third biggest library or biggest middle school. Did people 65 00:03:49,760 --> 00:03:52,760 Speaker 1: actually say that? People actually thought that, like, because you 66 00:03:52,800 --> 00:03:55,160 Speaker 1: know how everyone wants to make something about themselves, Like 67 00:03:55,200 --> 00:04:00,600 Speaker 1: these were sort of exercising early narcissism. That's really I mean, honestly, 68 00:04:00,680 --> 00:04:02,720 Speaker 1: it's really cool that can even happen in Ohio and 69 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:05,400 Speaker 1: not just you know Bushwick. Isn't it cool that narcissism 70 00:04:05,480 --> 00:04:08,440 Speaker 1: exists throughout this great nation? You don't need to be 71 00:04:08,520 --> 00:04:11,000 Speaker 1: coastal to have it. Yeah, no, there are well, no, 72 00:04:11,120 --> 00:04:14,520 Speaker 1: it's just more sad if you're not. But there are 73 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:18,720 Speaker 1: different I think there are different flavors of narcissism, you know, 74 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:21,760 Speaker 1: the Midway. I feel like the narcissism of of an 75 00:04:21,800 --> 00:04:26,600 Speaker 1: Ohio is kind of thinking that they are the real America. Yeah, 76 00:04:26,640 --> 00:04:29,400 Speaker 1: that is very true. And then the narcissism of like 77 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:33,240 Speaker 1: a Brooklyn is thinking, you know what is Ohio? Right, 78 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:38,280 Speaker 1: It's like I'm not, I'm European, like right, transcend New 79 00:04:38,360 --> 00:04:44,240 Speaker 1: York is in Europe technically, I mean it's so close, right, um? 80 00:04:44,279 --> 00:04:46,400 Speaker 1: But you know, can I tell you the really stupid 81 00:04:46,480 --> 00:04:50,320 Speaker 1: joke I wanted to make for Yes, I I fully 82 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,160 Speaker 1: drafted it. I was about to screenshot it and send 83 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:53,520 Speaker 1: it to you and be like, should I post this? 84 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:57,600 Speaker 1: And the joke was she I barely remember a world 85 00:04:57,640 --> 00:05:02,400 Speaker 1: before nine eleven. Oh wait, yes I do. It was yesterday? 86 00:05:02,720 --> 00:05:05,520 Speaker 1: Uh nine a k A nine ten. And then I 87 00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:08,520 Speaker 1: would put a bunch of laughing emojis and then hashtag 88 00:05:08,640 --> 00:05:16,320 Speaker 1: Friday funny god on, just trying to lighten the damn move. 89 00:05:16,480 --> 00:05:18,920 Speaker 1: It really is interesting that that joke not only didn't 90 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:21,280 Speaker 1: make it online, but didn't even make it to my 91 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:24,400 Speaker 1: personal texting, Like it didn't even you knew even just 92 00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:26,880 Speaker 1: to send it to me was embarrassing. Yeah, well I 93 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,279 Speaker 1: knew you wouldn't appreciate it. It's really not your style, 94 00:05:29,640 --> 00:05:33,239 Speaker 1: and um I respect that, and having to think it through, 95 00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:35,720 Speaker 1: I thought it, do I need to be tweeting this? Which, yeah, 96 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:39,680 Speaker 1: well what do you? What do we think currently about? Um? 97 00:05:39,800 --> 00:05:42,560 Speaker 1: Ironic bad jokes? Like to write something and then do 98 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:46,279 Speaker 1: like clapping emoji, laughing emoji. I think it can be 99 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:51,560 Speaker 1: fun when the like the timeline feels extremely toxic, like 100 00:05:51,960 --> 00:05:54,599 Speaker 1: I was getting very annoyed that everyone was interacting with 101 00:05:54,640 --> 00:05:56,440 Speaker 1: that dumb This is why are we doing a Twitter 102 00:05:56,480 --> 00:06:00,159 Speaker 1: round up? Anyway, Everyone's interacting with that guy, uh, that 103 00:06:00,279 --> 00:06:04,440 Speaker 1: writer who did like the Paul Kergman Yeah yeah, and 104 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:06,880 Speaker 1: I was like so annoyed and I was like, which, 105 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:10,000 Speaker 1: you know you did interact with And then I deleted, 106 00:06:10,279 --> 00:06:13,960 Speaker 1: oh congrats because I said who am I? Who am I? 107 00:06:14,839 --> 00:06:18,000 Speaker 1: Who am I? To talk back at Paul Kergman. Well, 108 00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:20,479 Speaker 1: I was like, everybody like, dunking on this is like 109 00:06:20,680 --> 00:06:23,520 Speaker 1: grow up? I know, I agree, and you know what 110 00:06:23,720 --> 00:06:28,680 Speaker 1: I did grow up fast and Hollywood makes you um 111 00:06:28,720 --> 00:06:30,400 Speaker 1: so I thought I would. That was sort of my 112 00:06:30,440 --> 00:06:36,560 Speaker 1: anti dunking on that guy. Huh So do we love 113 00:06:36,560 --> 00:06:39,760 Speaker 1: our Twitter roundup? Is this that all sounds great? I 114 00:06:39,839 --> 00:06:42,680 Speaker 1: mean I'm really glad that I deleted a tweet and 115 00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:48,920 Speaker 1: you didn't post yours. Another successful day? That is it? 116 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:55,320 Speaker 1: Um so should be bringing our guests, I guess, So, 117 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,440 Speaker 1: like what's that? What the only I'm trying to think 118 00:06:57,480 --> 00:06:59,599 Speaker 1: of an interesting way to say that I've been watching tennis, 119 00:06:59,640 --> 00:07:03,520 Speaker 1: but it's not an interesting thing. I mean it can be. 120 00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:07,560 Speaker 1: I mean, has anything interesting happened in tennis? Yes, sir? 121 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:10,480 Speaker 1: You know Williams was is not didn't make the final? 122 00:07:10,960 --> 00:07:15,080 Speaker 1: Oh I know, well I don't want to. You know, 123 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:18,239 Speaker 1: last night I had a moment where I was watching 124 00:07:18,280 --> 00:07:20,480 Speaker 1: it by myself, and then our our good friend Josh 125 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:23,000 Speaker 1: Sharp was also watching and I just was in this 126 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:25,040 Speaker 1: text thread with him where after every point one of 127 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:28,480 Speaker 1: us would just be like whoo or like yikes or 128 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:30,880 Speaker 1: like oof, And I was like, what are we doing? What? 129 00:07:30,880 --> 00:07:33,720 Speaker 1: What is the point of like texting a syllable after 130 00:07:33,800 --> 00:07:36,480 Speaker 1: each point? Should I just be watching this match by myself? 131 00:07:37,400 --> 00:07:40,160 Speaker 1: Was it fun? Yeah? I mean maybe you don't need 132 00:07:40,200 --> 00:07:43,640 Speaker 1: to investigate these few Maybe you just I can't imagine. No, Okay, sure, 133 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:48,080 Speaker 1: let's bring in our guest. Well, I was trying to 134 00:07:48,120 --> 00:07:50,640 Speaker 1: think of a fun way to talk about my gorgeous 135 00:07:50,640 --> 00:07:54,800 Speaker 1: trip upstate. Um, but let's just bring in our guests. Yeah. No, 136 00:07:54,920 --> 00:07:57,360 Speaker 1: I don't think upstate or watching the US Open really 137 00:07:57,440 --> 00:08:01,560 Speaker 1: qualify as next topics. That's a good point. Um, okay 138 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:06,720 Speaker 1: should we bring him in? Or okay, um, please give 139 00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:12,240 Speaker 1: it up for our next guest. He is the inventor 140 00:08:12,560 --> 00:08:19,240 Speaker 1: of the cotton gin. It is Joel can Booster. I 141 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:22,000 Speaker 1: love when you guys just sort of hit a wall 142 00:08:22,040 --> 00:08:24,680 Speaker 1: and that's when you decide to bring guests in. Um, 143 00:08:24,720 --> 00:08:27,760 Speaker 1: that is uh my favorite part of your podcast. Yeah, 144 00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:30,040 Speaker 1: and you know what, Joel, thank you. We already ask 145 00:08:30,160 --> 00:08:32,959 Speaker 1: this off, Mike, but I want you to be perfectly honest, 146 00:08:33,240 --> 00:08:37,199 Speaker 1: ask someone who does listen to this podcast, what is it? Um? 147 00:08:37,280 --> 00:08:41,160 Speaker 1: Where's it going? Um? I think it's going straight to 148 00:08:41,280 --> 00:08:44,880 Speaker 1: the forever Dog now, you know you would think, And 149 00:08:44,960 --> 00:08:47,160 Speaker 1: yet we have not gotten any emails. You know that 150 00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:50,120 Speaker 1: is really incredible that we have not gotten that email. 151 00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:53,640 Speaker 1: I think if fits right in with that network, which 152 00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:57,320 Speaker 1: is just populated by podcasts that I listened to, because, UM, 153 00:08:57,720 --> 00:08:59,920 Speaker 1: it makes me feel less alone, because it makes me 154 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,760 Speaker 1: feel like I'm hanging out with my good friends. UM. 155 00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:05,559 Speaker 1: And that is what that network is to me personally, 156 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,000 Speaker 1: just me and my good friends hanging out. And that's 157 00:09:08,040 --> 00:09:10,640 Speaker 1: what this podcast is to me. It's so crazy that 158 00:09:10,679 --> 00:09:12,640 Speaker 1: you said that, because from the beginning we said we 159 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:14,680 Speaker 1: don't want this to feel like friends hanging out. We 160 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:17,400 Speaker 1: wanted to feel like it's actually out in something to 161 00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:21,680 Speaker 1: the conversation. So I guess we've failed. We Yeah, I 162 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:27,240 Speaker 1: intrinsically sort of feel like this is an inside baseball 163 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:32,400 Speaker 1: podcast for our specific group text. That is how I 164 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:34,400 Speaker 1: feel about it, and I and in that way, I 165 00:09:34,440 --> 00:09:37,000 Speaker 1: was deeply offended that it actually has taken this long 166 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:40,000 Speaker 1: for me to be invited on. UM. Well, here's the 167 00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,280 Speaker 1: thing we have been UM Well, first of all, we 168 00:09:42,320 --> 00:09:44,280 Speaker 1: didn't want to have you on, but second of all, 169 00:09:44,559 --> 00:09:50,600 Speaker 1: we've been trying to kind of stretch out UM the 170 00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:53,200 Speaker 1: game men that we have on. I see what you're 171 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:55,360 Speaker 1: doing with the guests. You're you're trying to go off 172 00:09:55,360 --> 00:09:57,480 Speaker 1: the beaten path, You're trying to take it outside of 173 00:09:57,480 --> 00:10:00,959 Speaker 1: the lost Cultures to cinematic universe. I get you're trying 174 00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:04,800 Speaker 1: to go with some you know, you know, interesting guests 175 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:07,400 Speaker 1: that maybe people who don't listen to these podcasts haven't 176 00:10:07,440 --> 00:10:11,320 Speaker 1: heard from before. You're you know, I don't know, like yeah, 177 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:19,040 Speaker 1: people like Matt Rogers or Bowen Yang And now me, 178 00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:21,560 Speaker 1: I was, I was really nervous Sam when you were 179 00:10:21,559 --> 00:10:23,319 Speaker 1: introducing me that you were actually going to list a 180 00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:26,400 Speaker 1: credit because if I know, for now, we don't know 181 00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:29,120 Speaker 1: any of you don't do that in this house, and 182 00:10:29,200 --> 00:10:32,360 Speaker 1: so I would have been you haven't been in anything 183 00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:36,199 Speaker 1: right right never? And I actually, um, it would have 184 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:38,400 Speaker 1: been actually humiliating for me if you had listed to 185 00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:40,200 Speaker 1: credit and I'd been, well, yeah, I didn't want to 186 00:10:40,200 --> 00:10:42,160 Speaker 1: say I mean, I could have said, you know, out 187 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:44,679 Speaker 1: of bounds comedy festival in Austin, Texas. But I just 188 00:10:45,040 --> 00:10:47,800 Speaker 1: I didn't. I feel like that would almost be offensive 189 00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:52,440 Speaker 1: to you. He's the host of UM, a monthly show 190 00:10:52,480 --> 00:10:56,600 Speaker 1: at this and that UM but cut that's pre George. 191 00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:59,679 Speaker 1: George was still coming up at Boston Open Mics when 192 00:10:59,679 --> 00:11:01,760 Speaker 1: I was was being a bar show at this and 193 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:05,280 Speaker 1: that R I p in Williamsburg, Brooklyn that I love 194 00:11:05,440 --> 00:11:08,559 Speaker 1: this and that is a classic UM or earlier Williamsburg 195 00:11:09,160 --> 00:11:12,120 Speaker 1: venue name. Yeah, you know after that show was one 196 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:16,680 Speaker 1: of the drunkest times of my entire life. Oh yeah, 197 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:20,560 Speaker 1: um which the bartender kept giving me free drinks and 198 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:22,440 Speaker 1: I was I remember talking to you and you were 199 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:24,120 Speaker 1: I was like, he just keeps giving free drinks and 200 00:11:24,120 --> 00:11:26,080 Speaker 1: You're like, yeah, he's just gonna keep doing that. And 201 00:11:26,120 --> 00:11:28,280 Speaker 1: I was like, well, this is great then, and I 202 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:30,160 Speaker 1: was like watch like kind of like doing it like 203 00:11:30,160 --> 00:11:31,760 Speaker 1: a little trick, and I was like, watch me get 204 00:11:31,760 --> 00:11:36,600 Speaker 1: a free drink. It was a nightmare. That was really 205 00:11:36,640 --> 00:11:39,000 Speaker 1: that was a really great at a pack in I 206 00:11:39,040 --> 00:11:42,240 Speaker 1: think comedy in the scene, like I remember George on 207 00:11:42,240 --> 00:11:44,560 Speaker 1: one episode I think with with Drew Anderson, you're saying 208 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:48,520 Speaker 1: that New York comedy was just people singing Broadway songs now, um, 209 00:11:48,600 --> 00:11:52,320 Speaker 1: and I and I get the sentiment, but I agree 210 00:11:52,600 --> 00:11:55,640 Speaker 1: that like there was a time when that was not happening. 211 00:11:55,679 --> 00:11:59,920 Speaker 1: In in fact, those impulses were shamed and people sort 212 00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:04,280 Speaker 1: had to hide that. Um, absolutely for that. And I mean, 213 00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:07,760 Speaker 1: much like all other industries, comedy used to be inhospitable 214 00:12:07,800 --> 00:12:12,679 Speaker 1: to gay men, and now it's too hospitable. People are 215 00:12:12,679 --> 00:12:16,840 Speaker 1: feeling a little too comfortable, you know what, I actually 216 00:12:16,960 --> 00:12:21,920 Speaker 1: genuinely agree. I mean, no, it sounds okay, this sounds toxic, 217 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:24,679 Speaker 1: but I fully think we got to make some cuts. 218 00:12:24,720 --> 00:12:26,679 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I actually think if we were to make 219 00:12:26,679 --> 00:12:28,480 Speaker 1: cuts now, I would be cut. I would be cut 220 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:32,240 Speaker 1: for sure. Really, I know, I think I think funny 221 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:36,040 Speaker 1: in months, I literally haven't. And I know that, babe. 222 00:12:36,040 --> 00:12:38,360 Speaker 1: It's the pandemic of the pandemic. But the pandemic is 223 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,360 Speaker 1: here to stay, and so at this point, if you're 224 00:12:40,400 --> 00:12:42,120 Speaker 1: not if you can't be funny in the pandemic, then 225 00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:44,440 Speaker 1: you're just not funny. I think it's I no, no, 226 00:12:44,640 --> 00:12:50,400 Speaker 1: it's true. But the thing is we have to the 227 00:12:50,840 --> 00:12:55,440 Speaker 1: number of universal experiences is smaller during the pandemic, So 228 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:58,199 Speaker 1: the things you can make fun of are so are 229 00:12:58,240 --> 00:13:01,319 Speaker 1: also similar. It's so I guess people have been making 230 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:06,320 Speaker 1: jokes about like relationships and jobs for decades, and there's 231 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,360 Speaker 1: also a lot of like, you know, I can't really 232 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:11,480 Speaker 1: talk about all of the really funny happenings going on 233 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:16,000 Speaker 1: at the speakeasies that I'm frequenting now, Yes, and that's 234 00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:18,120 Speaker 1: really good, you know, like I can't a lot of 235 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:22,720 Speaker 1: slapstick humor in your speakeasy orgies. Yeah, there's no more 236 00:13:22,880 --> 00:13:26,959 Speaker 1: wild talks about those parties were all at all the time. Yeah, 237 00:13:27,040 --> 00:13:30,280 Speaker 1: I I it really has sort of made me realize 238 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:32,880 Speaker 1: that the locust of my writing for the last two 239 00:13:32,960 --> 00:13:37,120 Speaker 1: years has been drugs and orgies, which is reversal stuff. 240 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:40,520 Speaker 1: I've really managed to make it um really fun and 241 00:13:40,600 --> 00:13:42,960 Speaker 1: universal for the people that I played too largely in 242 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,480 Speaker 1: the Midwest, which I also wanted to say that growing 243 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:47,760 Speaker 1: up in the Midwest during nine eleven, I remember my 244 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:51,280 Speaker 1: dad's stockpiling canned goods, and even at the age of 245 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:54,200 Speaker 1: like twelve, I was like, I don't even know where 246 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:57,960 Speaker 1: New York is right now, so why would they care? 247 00:13:58,320 --> 00:14:02,600 Speaker 1: Why would they care? Plane feel Illinois. The Midwest really 248 00:14:02,640 --> 00:14:06,000 Speaker 1: took that as an identity, like because it was. It 249 00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:09,160 Speaker 1: was a very what I remember, here's what I remember 250 00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:14,800 Speaker 1: from from Africa, because this is I feel like these 251 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:17,680 Speaker 1: are things that we were all just young enough to 252 00:14:17,800 --> 00:14:21,040 Speaker 1: like not question, but old enough to really remember visc 253 00:14:21,080 --> 00:14:25,000 Speaker 1: really do. Like there was such a rise in full 254 00:14:25,080 --> 00:14:27,840 Speaker 1: on like nationalism, but in like a cute in like 255 00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:31,920 Speaker 1: an a political way. Like I distinctly remember asking my 256 00:14:32,040 --> 00:14:34,880 Speaker 1: parents to buy a little magnet for our car that 257 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:37,520 Speaker 1: said support our troops. Like it was like a yellow 258 00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:40,240 Speaker 1: ribbon magnet, and I was like, this is a status symbol, 259 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:42,080 Speaker 1: like everyone has that. It's kind of the tel far 260 00:14:42,160 --> 00:14:46,360 Speaker 1: bag of um a post nine eleven America, New Jersey 261 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:50,320 Speaker 1: or like I remember like buying a like a winter 262 00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:52,520 Speaker 1: hat that was that had like an American It was 263 00:14:52,560 --> 00:14:57,080 Speaker 1: all stars around the head and then stripes going up. 264 00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,480 Speaker 1: I remember in youth group because I was school at 265 00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:02,520 Speaker 1: the time, so I wasn't in school for this, but 266 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:05,440 Speaker 1: I remember in youth group we started folding the flag 267 00:15:05,800 --> 00:15:08,320 Speaker 1: at the end of every youth group. Oh my god, 268 00:15:08,760 --> 00:15:10,880 Speaker 1: in in the way that you're supposed to fold flags 269 00:15:11,040 --> 00:15:14,040 Speaker 1: in the respectful way, like basically all of turning all 270 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,640 Speaker 1: of us into those messengers who like bring the flag 271 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:20,240 Speaker 1: to fallen soldiers homes at the end of the war. Um, 272 00:15:20,280 --> 00:15:22,520 Speaker 1: that's how I felt. That's it felt like dragged to 273 00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:25,480 Speaker 1: me every single day. It really was. It was like 274 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:28,800 Speaker 1: a way, weirdly enough, it was so accessible to be 275 00:15:28,880 --> 00:15:31,200 Speaker 1: patriotic in that kind of surface level way that I 276 00:15:31,400 --> 00:15:34,320 Speaker 1: found it to be a way that I could um 277 00:15:34,600 --> 00:15:36,840 Speaker 1: relate to my to you know, my friends who had 278 00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:39,400 Speaker 1: non immigrant parents. I was like, yeah, I love the 279 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:45,320 Speaker 1: American flag was huge. It was really like, Okay, I'm 280 00:15:45,320 --> 00:15:47,880 Speaker 1: going to join the army. Like if I were like 281 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:50,240 Speaker 1: if I were like killing right now, I would absolutely 282 00:15:50,320 --> 00:15:53,040 Speaker 1: join the army. If I wasn't in school and eleven, 283 00:15:53,200 --> 00:15:56,720 Speaker 1: I would be joining the army. I remember. I mean 284 00:15:56,760 --> 00:16:00,040 Speaker 1: I identified as a Republican until I was sixteen to 285 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:05,880 Speaker 1: oh that was your I absolutely did, because you don't know, 286 00:16:06,640 --> 00:16:11,000 Speaker 1: there is somewhere out there a toxic essay that I 287 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:15,680 Speaker 1: wrote for like a one prize for like the local 288 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:20,040 Speaker 1: bookstore that's like pro George Bush, and it is like 289 00:16:20,320 --> 00:16:23,560 Speaker 1: it will be released one day and I will like 290 00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:27,200 Speaker 1: I was literally thirteen, and it was just like, oh, 291 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:30,240 Speaker 1: I can't believe. I remember looking my a p U S. 292 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:34,080 Speaker 1: History teacher in the eyes who wasn't like a vowed liberal, 293 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:37,240 Speaker 1: and being like, I'm so glad George W. Bush was 294 00:16:37,280 --> 00:16:39,560 Speaker 1: reelected and he said why and I said, because I 295 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:43,480 Speaker 1: feel safe for now. Well, at least you were like 296 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:47,320 Speaker 1: evolved in your messaging. I would say you were really 297 00:16:47,520 --> 00:16:51,880 Speaker 1: was the official line? Good for you? I Um, I 298 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:57,040 Speaker 1: remember very clearly thinking that I personally was smarter than 299 00:16:57,080 --> 00:17:02,680 Speaker 1: George W. Bush and um asking asking my parents. I 300 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:06,359 Speaker 1: was like, I was basically making the argument like no 301 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,239 Speaker 1: matter what your beliefs are, like, he's not smart, Like 302 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:11,439 Speaker 1: I think I'm smarter than him, right, And I remember 303 00:17:11,440 --> 00:17:13,680 Speaker 1: my dad being like, well, I mean, I don't know 304 00:17:13,720 --> 00:17:17,600 Speaker 1: if you're smarter than him currently, like you are, um eleven, 305 00:17:18,119 --> 00:17:20,399 Speaker 1: but but I see what you're saying. And then I 306 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:23,199 Speaker 1: also remember being part of the Young Liberals group in 307 00:17:23,280 --> 00:17:28,320 Speaker 1: my middle school where we would um order Carrie buttons 308 00:17:28,359 --> 00:17:33,119 Speaker 1: and wear them. Oh wow, woke bay. Yeah, it doesn't 309 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:36,399 Speaker 1: seem like it could sustain an entire club for very long. 310 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:40,000 Speaker 1: That's literally all it was. I don't we did nothing else, 311 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:42,440 Speaker 1: and it was it was in response to a Young 312 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:45,320 Speaker 1: Conservatives club that was started so then and I didn't 313 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:47,960 Speaker 1: know the words conservative and liberalist Republican and Democrat, and 314 00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:50,840 Speaker 1: I remember being like, okay, liberal is democrat? Good, Like 315 00:17:50,920 --> 00:17:55,119 Speaker 1: that's the synonym um. But yeah, this was when I 316 00:17:55,160 --> 00:17:57,000 Speaker 1: was learning a lot of different words. For instance, one 317 00:17:57,040 --> 00:17:59,359 Speaker 1: time someone asked me what my religion was, and I said, 318 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:01,959 Speaker 1: First of all, they said, are you Jewish or Christian? 319 00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:05,520 Speaker 1: And I said Christian because that's how I was raised, 320 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:07,760 Speaker 1: and they were And then I was like, um, I'm 321 00:18:07,840 --> 00:18:10,720 Speaker 1: Christian Orthodox because I was Greek Orthodox. And then the 322 00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:13,480 Speaker 1: person goes, no, Orthodox is only for Jews, and I 323 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:15,800 Speaker 1: was like, oh, okay, well I guess I'm wrong. I 324 00:18:16,440 --> 00:18:18,640 Speaker 1: you know, it's crazy is growing up in my church 325 00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:21,880 Speaker 1: we would not even call Greek Orthodox Christians. We would 326 00:18:21,920 --> 00:18:25,080 Speaker 1: not at all. That makes it Wait, what was your 327 00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:30,040 Speaker 1: I don't know any of the names. Baptist? Okay, interesting, 328 00:18:31,320 --> 00:18:33,760 Speaker 1: you just love youth group? Were you a freak for it? 329 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:36,000 Speaker 1: I was a freak for youth group. I was a 330 00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:38,800 Speaker 1: youth leader. We would have to you would like. The 331 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:42,119 Speaker 1: thing is is my youth group was a franchised youth group, 332 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:45,000 Speaker 1: and so it was connected to a large camp in 333 00:18:45,040 --> 00:18:47,560 Speaker 1: New York that you would go to every summer and 334 00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:50,399 Speaker 1: compete in. You would also compete throughout the year in 335 00:18:50,480 --> 00:18:53,480 Speaker 1: regional Bible quizzine competitions. This is oh I did know 336 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:56,280 Speaker 1: this about you? Yeah yeah. But also like it was 337 00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:58,119 Speaker 1: also like speech and debate. So there would be like 338 00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:01,879 Speaker 1: dramatic monologues you could form as Jesus, you could do 339 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:05,920 Speaker 1: a preaching Christians, you could do girls were allowed weren't 340 00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:08,240 Speaker 1: allowed to do preaching. They were allowed to do storytelling 341 00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:11,280 Speaker 1: for children, and then the boys had to be preaching. 342 00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:14,680 Speaker 1: And then you would do like group drama like re enactments, 343 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:17,760 Speaker 1: and you would compete. And I competed in those as well, 344 00:19:17,800 --> 00:19:19,679 Speaker 1: and I made it to nationals quite a few times 345 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:23,960 Speaker 1: doing monologues, which very competitive. I have to say, I 346 00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:29,280 Speaker 1: can't imagine, um, you know, getting anything out of talking 347 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:32,159 Speaker 1: to a crowd of people on a stage, um, and 348 00:19:32,200 --> 00:19:37,720 Speaker 1: even adding a competitive element to it. It sounds so immature. Um. 349 00:19:37,840 --> 00:19:40,960 Speaker 1: You know. It was sort of the America's got talent 350 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:44,200 Speaker 1: for Bible people at the time. And I remember going 351 00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:47,280 Speaker 1: to New York and competing at these camps and it 352 00:19:47,320 --> 00:19:50,000 Speaker 1: was the most incredible experience of my entire fucking life. 353 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,840 Speaker 1: And every every summer I'd go to these camps, and 354 00:19:52,920 --> 00:19:56,920 Speaker 1: every summer I would throw all of my secular CDs 355 00:19:56,960 --> 00:19:59,960 Speaker 1: into a bonfire that I drink that, and then three 356 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,520 Speaker 1: months later I would I would renig and like, you know, 357 00:20:02,920 --> 00:20:06,320 Speaker 1: by Avril Levine, you're not Yeah. Wow, so you did 358 00:20:06,520 --> 00:20:08,600 Speaker 1: visit New York, so you are implicated. In nine eleven, 359 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:15,240 Speaker 1: should we do our first segment? Okay? Can I say, 360 00:20:15,359 --> 00:20:17,560 Speaker 1: can we talk about the podcast? Will make the podcast? Yeah? 361 00:20:17,600 --> 00:20:19,800 Speaker 1: We need we need we Actually I've been thinking about 362 00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:21,439 Speaker 1: the Sam. We need to go back to our roots 363 00:20:21,880 --> 00:20:24,280 Speaker 1: and be more avant garde. We've been having too many 364 00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:30,080 Speaker 1: linear conversations. I mean tips, tricks, I mean, how do 365 00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:33,159 Speaker 1: we lighten the damn mood? Oh wait, Sam, you just 366 00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:35,920 Speaker 1: got suddenly very loud. Oh my god. Congrat Sam. You 367 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:41,040 Speaker 1: found your voice. Sam, you finally found your voice. I'm 368 00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:45,239 Speaker 1: watching a season of Real Housewives where Carol is like, like, 369 00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:47,439 Speaker 1: says two things and then people are like, you know, 370 00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:50,439 Speaker 1: I like that you found your voice. I mean, I 371 00:20:50,480 --> 00:20:53,959 Speaker 1: think that's so inspiring. And if I can find my 372 00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:57,440 Speaker 1: voice within this podcast, I hope that all a little 373 00:20:57,480 --> 00:20:59,960 Speaker 1: boys out there in the third biggest middle school in 374 00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:03,840 Speaker 1: third world can can find a way to speak up 375 00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:06,600 Speaker 1: and say I'm at risk of being in the next 376 00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:11,080 Speaker 1: nine eleven. I think that's powerful. I hope your refugee's 377 00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:17,159 Speaker 1: listen to this podcast they do. Wait, this is a 378 00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:19,360 Speaker 1: different Okay, wait, maybe we should do our first topic 379 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:22,480 Speaker 1: because what I would say actually is a bad topic. Okay, 380 00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:24,280 Speaker 1: let's just do our Let's just do our first segment. 381 00:21:24,280 --> 00:21:25,879 Speaker 1: It'll losten us up, and then we'll be ready to 382 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:29,160 Speaker 1: only talk about surface level, non serious things. Oh thank god. 383 00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:31,560 Speaker 1: And if it and if a conversation ever comes back 384 00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:35,600 Speaker 1: to my family, I will completely shut down. Okay, that's 385 00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:39,720 Speaker 1: totally me. Okay, Joe, we're not even going to introduce 386 00:21:39,720 --> 00:21:43,639 Speaker 1: this segment because Joel is a podcast listener. Joel, well, actually, 387 00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:47,040 Speaker 1: Sam go for you can go first. Um okay, Joel, 388 00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:49,360 Speaker 1: this is straight Shooter just I'm not going to explain it, 389 00:21:49,400 --> 00:21:52,560 Speaker 1: but here is the start of it. I mean, you know, 390 00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:55,960 Speaker 1: you might want to just as a note, you might 391 00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:58,520 Speaker 1: want to just in case someone's tuning in for this episode. 392 00:21:59,160 --> 00:22:02,760 Speaker 1: Any other note, Joel, any other The section of the 393 00:22:03,040 --> 00:22:04,760 Speaker 1: section of the episode where we ask you what you 394 00:22:04,760 --> 00:22:10,280 Speaker 1: think of the podcast has already happened. Okay, go ahead, Yeah, 395 00:22:10,480 --> 00:22:17,280 Speaker 1: maybe I could break this tension with a uh ladle Okay, 396 00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:21,119 Speaker 1: Straight Shooters is a segment in which we gauge the 397 00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:24,840 Speaker 1: guests familiarity with the beautiful, gorgeous tapestry that is straight 398 00:22:24,840 --> 00:22:27,240 Speaker 1: culture by asking them a series of rapid fire questions 399 00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:29,720 Speaker 1: that's mostly just this thing or this thing. If they 400 00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:32,840 Speaker 1: dare to ask a follow up, we get absolutely piste off. 401 00:22:33,040 --> 00:22:35,760 Speaker 1: And if you're a new listener, then guess what I'm 402 00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:40,479 Speaker 1: already piste off. You go? Okay, Joel? Here we go 403 00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:49,919 Speaker 1: HBO's Girls or Amazon's The Boys, Amazon's the Boys? Whoa Joel? 404 00:22:50,560 --> 00:22:56,800 Speaker 1: Natural wine or natural deodorant? Natural line? Okay, Joel? If 405 00:22:56,920 --> 00:23:00,280 Speaker 1: a disease was named after you because you got it 406 00:23:00,440 --> 00:23:03,280 Speaker 1: and you wore it so well, would you be flattered 407 00:23:03,359 --> 00:23:10,600 Speaker 1: or offended? Flattered Joel? Raising awareness or raising the roof? 408 00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:21,879 Speaker 1: Raising awareness? Joel? Louis Baton or Luis c K Joel. 409 00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:28,240 Speaker 1: Homemade Granola or Homemade Dynamite by Lord the remix featuring College, 410 00:23:28,280 --> 00:23:33,000 Speaker 1: Post Malone and Scissa Um Homemade Dynamite by Lord featuring Colleen, 411 00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:39,120 Speaker 1: Sissa and and the other Post Malone. Pay attention, Pay attention. 412 00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:42,679 Speaker 1: This is gonna be on the final Um Joel. What 413 00:23:42,920 --> 00:23:46,040 Speaker 1: is more emotional seeing two people commit their lives to 414 00:23:46,080 --> 00:23:48,959 Speaker 1: each other in marriage, or seeing two companies commit their 415 00:23:48,960 --> 00:23:53,840 Speaker 1: profits together in merger, two people committing one thousand marriage 416 00:23:54,760 --> 00:24:03,679 Speaker 1: Joel dried fruit or wet asked pussy. See wow, Joel, 417 00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:05,600 Speaker 1: that was beautiful, And now, of course we give you. 418 00:24:06,119 --> 00:24:07,919 Speaker 1: I want to I want to defend my answer for 419 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:10,760 Speaker 1: the Boys really quickly and say, have you seen pictures 420 00:24:10,760 --> 00:24:14,080 Speaker 1: of Langston Kerman celebrated comic in The Boys? Yet? Oh 421 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:15,399 Speaker 1: my god, I didn't know he was on The Boys? 422 00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:20,760 Speaker 1: Forced him still recovering from his appearance on Insecure Jack. 423 00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:22,840 Speaker 1: And there's a picture on his instagram of it. If 424 00:24:22,880 --> 00:24:24,720 Speaker 1: you're a fan of comedy, if you're a fan of 425 00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:28,840 Speaker 1: gorgeous bodies, go to Langston Kerman's instagram and look at 426 00:24:28,920 --> 00:24:33,640 Speaker 1: his still from the Boys, because it is outrageous. Wow. 427 00:24:34,119 --> 00:24:36,080 Speaker 1: You know, Langston Kerman is has an m f A 428 00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:41,640 Speaker 1: in poetry. Yeah, serious, Austin Comics. You love to get 429 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:46,080 Speaker 1: these advanced degrees. Lanson Kerman is too much. I mean 430 00:24:46,080 --> 00:24:48,040 Speaker 1: the fact that his name is Langston and he has 431 00:24:48,080 --> 00:24:51,080 Speaker 1: an m f A in poetry, and he taught he 432 00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:54,760 Speaker 1: was a high school English teacher on the South Side. Yes, exactly. 433 00:24:56,119 --> 00:24:59,760 Speaker 1: Jan is married to a beautiful, gorgeous woman. Yeah. Who 434 00:25:00,040 --> 00:25:01,920 Speaker 1: So he is a doctor. I want to say, like, not, 435 00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:05,600 Speaker 1: oh my god, enough has a PhD. I want to 436 00:25:05,640 --> 00:25:09,240 Speaker 1: say they're kind of a um uh, they're like a 437 00:25:09,359 --> 00:25:15,640 Speaker 1: plant to make heterosexuality like acceptable again. Yeah, well it's working. 438 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:19,080 Speaker 1: I'm thinking of turning back me too. Actually, can I 439 00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:22,639 Speaker 1: say that I have in recent years been like, maybe 440 00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:26,840 Speaker 1: I missed something here. I agree. I've been thinking about 441 00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:31,040 Speaker 1: like circling back and just grazing bisexuality for a second, 442 00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:33,119 Speaker 1: just to that's the real horseshoe theory is that we're 443 00:25:33,160 --> 00:25:36,280 Speaker 1: all going to be straight in two years. I would 444 00:25:36,320 --> 00:25:39,320 Speaker 1: love for that to be true, that there's there's not 445 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:45,400 Speaker 1: enough of that. Do you think it's tough because bisexuality exists? 446 00:25:45,720 --> 00:25:48,480 Speaker 1: But if it didn't, then do you think there would 447 00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:53,360 Speaker 1: be many people that were that would like then do like, um, 448 00:25:53,560 --> 00:25:57,080 Speaker 1: there would be like Rachel Dollar drawls for for homosexuality. 449 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:02,560 Speaker 1: You you so you're saying, would bisexual people exist if 450 00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:06,440 Speaker 1: bisexuality didn't exist? You know what, let's nip this right 451 00:26:06,440 --> 00:26:10,120 Speaker 1: in the bud. Do you remember when Cynthia Nixon said 452 00:26:10,119 --> 00:26:14,800 Speaker 1: that you could choose your sexuality days of Cynthia Nixon. 453 00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:17,200 Speaker 1: I do. But here's the thing the way she said 454 00:26:17,200 --> 00:26:20,719 Speaker 1: it was not. She was just like, I choose to 455 00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:24,280 Speaker 1: be with a woman. Yes, I know, I miss I'm 456 00:26:24,359 --> 00:26:27,359 Speaker 1: intentionally misrepresenting it because it's funnier to say that Cynthia 457 00:26:27,440 --> 00:26:29,919 Speaker 1: Nixon believes you can choose your sexuality. Yeah, you know, 458 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:32,320 Speaker 1: that's why she lost to the Blasio because of that comment. 459 00:26:34,800 --> 00:26:37,560 Speaker 1: How do you think Cynthia Nixon would have handled the pandemic? 460 00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:39,960 Speaker 1: Jams would have been open way soon. Here's the thing, 461 00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:44,400 Speaker 1: It's really there is something really tough about these scenarios 462 00:26:44,440 --> 00:26:48,680 Speaker 1: with the pandemic because, on the one hand, I want 463 00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:51,800 Speaker 1: Cynthia Nixon to be governor. On the other hand, all 464 00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:57,719 Speaker 1: these like ruthless, unethical, mobster like people such as Hillary 465 00:26:57,760 --> 00:27:01,320 Speaker 1: Clinton or Bill de Blasio or whoever or else, when 466 00:27:01,400 --> 00:27:04,600 Speaker 1: it comes to something as sweeping as a pandemic, I'm like, 467 00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:10,600 Speaker 1: they're gonna make the spreadsheets. Okay, you started off very 468 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:15,080 Speaker 1: Jacoba and then you ended very New Republic. Yeah, I'm I'm, 469 00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:17,480 Speaker 1: I'm I'm coming around to the New Republic point of view. 470 00:27:18,119 --> 00:27:22,240 Speaker 1: I am shocked that that is your take. I'm genuinely surprised. 471 00:27:22,840 --> 00:27:25,000 Speaker 1: I mean, I can't help but feel that she would 472 00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:29,040 Speaker 1: obviously be doing a better job. She would love she 473 00:27:29,119 --> 00:27:33,120 Speaker 1: loves a spreadsheet. It's true. Something Nick, Well, if you're 474 00:27:33,119 --> 00:27:40,919 Speaker 1: gonna be a leftist, you need to be bisexual. No, 475 00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:43,680 Speaker 1: that's it. I have nothing more to add. I don't 476 00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:46,760 Speaker 1: actually think Deblasi is doing a good job. I'm I'm 477 00:27:46,800 --> 00:27:50,200 Speaker 1: I'm trying to there's something in the kind of like, 478 00:27:50,440 --> 00:27:53,760 Speaker 1: no matter how many people um wait, I'm also not 479 00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:56,440 Speaker 1: talking about DEBLIGI, I'm talking about Cuomo. But but let's 480 00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:58,640 Speaker 1: take the Blagia for instance, the fact that no matter 481 00:27:58,720 --> 00:28:02,119 Speaker 1: how many people literally we are like telling him to 482 00:28:02,160 --> 00:28:04,760 Speaker 1: resign every single day, he just keeps on doing the 483 00:28:04,840 --> 00:28:07,959 Speaker 1: same thing. What if that thing was good? What if 484 00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:10,720 Speaker 1: we could channel the energy of just like that blind 485 00:28:10,840 --> 00:28:12,600 Speaker 1: faith in what you're doing. But then you had like 486 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:15,399 Speaker 1: good politics. And I don't know if um, someone like 487 00:28:15,400 --> 00:28:17,040 Speaker 1: Cynthia Nixon would have that. I think she would be 488 00:28:17,119 --> 00:28:19,200 Speaker 1: very influenced by what people around her were saying because 489 00:28:19,200 --> 00:28:22,200 Speaker 1: of her empathy. She'd listen to her constituents exactly, she'd 490 00:28:22,200 --> 00:28:26,639 Speaker 1: listen to her constituents. But sometimes constituents are bad. Some well, 491 00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:28,280 Speaker 1: there are, there are too many of them, especially in 492 00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:29,720 Speaker 1: a city like New York. Well, and that's why we 493 00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:32,520 Speaker 1: have to make cuts right. We have to get rid 494 00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:35,960 Speaker 1: of some constituents that's made aware of how how many 495 00:28:35,960 --> 00:28:40,200 Speaker 1: people live in Wyoming. Um, just the other day stumbled 496 00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:42,920 Speaker 1: across this information. Do you guys know crisis right rules? 497 00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:45,200 Speaker 1: How many people are in Wyoming? How many people in 498 00:28:45,240 --> 00:28:52,640 Speaker 1: the state of Wyoming. I'm guessing, Um, that sounds right? 499 00:28:53,280 --> 00:28:56,920 Speaker 1: A hundred thousand is your guest? Wait? Hold on, hold on, 500 00:28:58,400 --> 00:29:03,320 Speaker 1: you think hundred thousand people in Wyoming? A little? How 501 00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:11,000 Speaker 1: about um, three hundred thousand? Okay, you bother her George 502 00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:13,960 Speaker 1: wins prices right Rules because he's he got close. Is 503 00:29:13,960 --> 00:29:18,720 Speaker 1: it literally like two million? No, it's it's five thousand. Um, 504 00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:21,240 Speaker 1: But what I will say, your guest is more reasonable 505 00:29:21,280 --> 00:29:24,480 Speaker 1: than Sam's one hundred thousand people. There's a hundred thousand 506 00:29:24,520 --> 00:29:27,520 Speaker 1: people in green Point right now? No, you were you 507 00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:31,520 Speaker 1: were You were like setting this up as like it's 508 00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:34,000 Speaker 1: you will never believe how few people there are in Wyoming. 509 00:29:34,080 --> 00:29:37,480 Speaker 1: So I was like, okay, are there five if not 510 00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:40,400 Speaker 1: that many people? Think about how people live in New 511 00:29:40,480 --> 00:29:44,760 Speaker 1: York City, I mean five thousand people sounds like a 512 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:47,520 Speaker 1: lot of people. Imagine you're throwing a party in your 513 00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:52,120 Speaker 1: apartment and then you invite five thousand people, like I 514 00:29:52,120 --> 00:29:53,680 Speaker 1: would be upset. I be like, this is a lot 515 00:29:53,720 --> 00:29:55,760 Speaker 1: of people. I'd be like, there need to be some 516 00:29:55,800 --> 00:29:59,920 Speaker 1: cuts made, Like does anyone have a list? Like therely 517 00:30:00,080 --> 00:30:03,200 Speaker 1: invest in a V I P section always like the 518 00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:06,000 Speaker 1: amount of people that went to the warp Tour one year, 519 00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:08,480 Speaker 1: you know, like, I don't even think that, Like that 520 00:30:08,680 --> 00:30:11,840 Speaker 1: is like an eighth of the population of New York. 521 00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:15,959 Speaker 1: But doesn't that grind your gears? They get two senators? 522 00:30:16,280 --> 00:30:18,880 Speaker 1: Oh that's what you're saying. Of course, of course, of 523 00:30:18,920 --> 00:30:23,400 Speaker 1: course I'm so nervous that I said, in my efforts 524 00:30:23,440 --> 00:30:26,440 Speaker 1: to be funny, basically expressed support for Bill de Blasio 525 00:30:26,480 --> 00:30:29,440 Speaker 1: and Andrew Cuomo and Hillary Clinton and Hillary Clinton. And 526 00:30:29,440 --> 00:30:31,760 Speaker 1: you know what, ultimately, if you look at if you 527 00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:33,760 Speaker 1: look at everything I said literally and you kind of 528 00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:35,360 Speaker 1: take it at face value, that is what I did. 529 00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:37,760 Speaker 1: But I promise you I don't feel that way. Well, George, 530 00:30:37,920 --> 00:30:40,280 Speaker 1: are you really did a good act? What I'm trying 531 00:30:40,320 --> 00:30:41,920 Speaker 1: to say? You know what I'm gonna keep. I'm gonna 532 00:30:42,000 --> 00:30:45,160 Speaker 1: keep a Biden this November. So you're saying women are 533 00:30:45,240 --> 00:30:49,520 Speaker 1: too weak. I feel like men should get the vaccine first. 534 00:30:52,560 --> 00:30:54,320 Speaker 1: Are you guys gonna get the Are you guys gonna 535 00:30:54,320 --> 00:30:56,520 Speaker 1: get the first wave vaccine? Because I am. I'm gonna say, 536 00:30:56,600 --> 00:30:58,800 Speaker 1: give it to me. I don't care. I don't care 537 00:30:58,880 --> 00:31:02,160 Speaker 1: what it does to me October, Give me the vaccine. 538 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:05,000 Speaker 1: Give it to me earlier. I've signed up for every 539 00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:08,080 Speaker 1: single trial of a vaccine that I can find. Do 540 00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:10,200 Speaker 1: they pay you for the trials? I don't think so, 541 00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:13,840 Speaker 1: And I don't need the money. I need the vaccine, Okay, honey, 542 00:31:15,080 --> 00:31:17,520 Speaker 1: so that I can walk to subway without a mask on. 543 00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:23,600 Speaker 1: That's what I want. Subway every day, like fucking Jarrett 544 00:31:24,160 --> 00:31:28,000 Speaker 1: and get a sandwich. Isn't that sad? You do culture 545 00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:31,080 Speaker 1: right there? When you were saying I would walk to 546 00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:33,840 Speaker 1: the subway, I was like, Oh, he's like pretending he's 547 00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:36,239 Speaker 1: still in New York. Like, ok, I just won't call 548 00:31:36,320 --> 00:31:39,200 Speaker 1: him out on this, like, sure to go to the 549 00:31:39,240 --> 00:31:44,640 Speaker 1: subway in l A. Oh the subway. You guys are 550 00:31:44,680 --> 00:31:48,840 Speaker 1: adding roll back the transcript. I said, subway walk to 551 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:55,120 Speaker 1: subway way. This is sort of subway subway every day? 552 00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:59,640 Speaker 1: Why because I know how much is in it and 553 00:31:59,800 --> 00:32:03,600 Speaker 1: it is healthy for you. Are you in the running 554 00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:09,000 Speaker 1: to be the next spokesperson. I cannot confirm nor deny 555 00:32:10,320 --> 00:32:16,880 Speaker 1: the next pedophile to be representing America's next pedophile representing 556 00:32:16,920 --> 00:32:26,080 Speaker 1: subway banks. Oh you know, remember when okay, this is 557 00:32:26,120 --> 00:32:28,600 Speaker 1: not okay whatever, I'm gonna try talking about it. Remember 558 00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:33,000 Speaker 1: when Jared Vogel got arrested and then everybody was like, wait, 559 00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:35,600 Speaker 1: that's not the right name, and it is okay, that 560 00:32:35,720 --> 00:32:39,200 Speaker 1: is the right name. Uh, And everybody like made the 561 00:32:39,240 --> 00:32:42,200 Speaker 1: same joke on Twitter where it was like I hope 562 00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:45,000 Speaker 1: he's taken a foot long in prison or something, and 563 00:32:45,040 --> 00:32:47,680 Speaker 1: it was like all so bad and stupid. But there 564 00:32:47,760 --> 00:32:50,800 Speaker 1: was one guy who was like a failed open micer 565 00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:53,760 Speaker 1: who made a Facebook post where he was like clearly 566 00:32:53,800 --> 00:32:55,520 Speaker 1: trying to get to the computer and type the joke 567 00:32:55,560 --> 00:32:58,880 Speaker 1: as quickly as possible, and he wrote if you to 568 00:32:59,080 --> 00:33:04,400 Speaker 1: be in shape to catch the kid, which like, wait, 569 00:33:04,440 --> 00:33:07,560 Speaker 1: he wrote, what if you to be in shape to 570 00:33:07,720 --> 00:33:10,480 Speaker 1: catch the kid? That was that was the whole sentence. 571 00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:19,920 Speaker 1: That's so funny. It was clearly I see what he's doing. Yeah, 572 00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:22,200 Speaker 1: and he just it was full of typos and he 573 00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:24,480 Speaker 1: couldn't you know, it's all about timing. He was like, 574 00:33:24,480 --> 00:33:28,920 Speaker 1: I gotta get this out before anybody else. Remember about 575 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,360 Speaker 1: the week that Jared Fogel was arrested. Is I believe 576 00:33:31,480 --> 00:33:33,360 Speaker 1: I could be making this up, but I believe it 577 00:33:33,440 --> 00:33:36,719 Speaker 1: was the same week that Facebook reacts came out, and 578 00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:43,720 Speaker 1: I just remember smashing that and they created those you 579 00:33:43,760 --> 00:33:48,800 Speaker 1: know how how YouTube was created after um, after Janet 580 00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:53,040 Speaker 1: Jackson you know, had had her words amountfunction, But in fact, 581 00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:55,120 Speaker 1: the react buttons were created because people were so angry 582 00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:59,240 Speaker 1: about Jared Fogel that they needed something other than a like, Sam, 583 00:33:59,280 --> 00:34:02,680 Speaker 1: here's the question, and that is on everyone's lips. Now 584 00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:05,080 Speaker 1: that we've brought up Jared Fogo. I can hear your 585 00:34:05,120 --> 00:34:10,879 Speaker 1: listeners clamoring to get inside and no, would you smash? 586 00:34:13,719 --> 00:34:16,040 Speaker 1: I draw a line, and I have to draw the line. 587 00:34:16,080 --> 00:34:20,279 Speaker 1: There your type, but not at Dr Phil. I sent 588 00:34:20,360 --> 00:34:23,080 Speaker 1: you a video of Dr Phil today and you got 589 00:34:23,080 --> 00:34:26,400 Speaker 1: a chub. Sam, I do think Dr Phil is a 590 00:34:26,400 --> 00:34:28,799 Speaker 1: step too far? No, okay, but you have to you 591 00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:31,319 Speaker 1: have to put yourself in the full Like the full 592 00:34:31,360 --> 00:34:36,279 Speaker 1: fantasy was Dr Phil doing a TikTok where he's saying like, 593 00:34:36,280 --> 00:34:38,680 Speaker 1: like people are calling me daddy online and then he 594 00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:42,040 Speaker 1: says in this weird voice, like kind of southern kind 595 00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:47,279 Speaker 1: of scolding in a way that's sure. I mean it's like, 596 00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:50,319 Speaker 1: I ain't your daddy. And I was like, oh, like, 597 00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:54,440 Speaker 1: come on you. I just imagine you on your knees, 598 00:34:57,960 --> 00:35:00,880 Speaker 1: Dr phil and him looking down and just saying I 599 00:35:00,920 --> 00:35:04,439 Speaker 1: ain't your daddy. Oh does that not turn you guys 600 00:35:04,440 --> 00:35:07,759 Speaker 1: on a little? Sam? When you first said you were 601 00:35:07,760 --> 00:35:10,160 Speaker 1: attracted Dr Philip, I was not into it. But when 602 00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:13,280 Speaker 1: I found out that it was because of a TikTok, 603 00:35:14,200 --> 00:35:19,560 Speaker 1: I'm on board. Oh yeah, we are all pro TikTok 604 00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:23,800 Speaker 1: here where pro TikTok? I am pro uh Cynthia Nixon 605 00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:28,959 Speaker 1: and not Bill the Blastio and Andrew Cuomo and saying 606 00:35:29,040 --> 00:35:32,799 Speaker 1: I'm i am anti Jared Fogel, Yes, and I'm you know, 607 00:35:32,800 --> 00:35:34,439 Speaker 1: I would say I see both sides. With the Jared 608 00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:39,480 Speaker 1: Fogo situation. How do you think he would handle the pandemic? Well, 609 00:35:41,200 --> 00:35:46,680 Speaker 1: you know, he really you can't say he's not disciplined. 610 00:35:46,400 --> 00:35:50,279 Speaker 1: Here here's the point I was trying to make, and 611 00:35:50,320 --> 00:35:52,839 Speaker 1: I actually think this is why Jared would handle the pandemic. Well, 612 00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:57,719 Speaker 1: is is the pandemic is such a like it's you 613 00:35:57,840 --> 00:36:00,480 Speaker 1: just have to have tunnel vision and and just be 614 00:36:00,600 --> 00:36:04,080 Speaker 1: like every single person is the same, and we're going 615 00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:07,239 Speaker 1: to get every single person the vaccine. So if you 616 00:36:07,440 --> 00:36:12,560 Speaker 1: are just without even considering anything else. Ideally, I'm not 617 00:36:12,600 --> 00:36:14,960 Speaker 1: saying that is what anyone is currently doing, but the 618 00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:18,319 Speaker 1: ideal situation is that it should be like an equalizing 619 00:36:18,320 --> 00:36:20,680 Speaker 1: force and that every single person is just as susceptible 620 00:36:20,719 --> 00:36:23,520 Speaker 1: to it, and every single person deserves a vaccine. So 621 00:36:23,560 --> 00:36:26,840 Speaker 1: then what you need is someone who is so uh 622 00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:30,560 Speaker 1: single minded that they can just focus on that one task. 623 00:36:31,200 --> 00:36:35,239 Speaker 1: And Jared has only done one, well two things, but 624 00:36:35,400 --> 00:36:37,680 Speaker 1: one thing in his life, which is that he has 625 00:36:37,760 --> 00:36:40,560 Speaker 1: lost weight by eating subway sandwiches. And I feel like 626 00:36:40,600 --> 00:36:43,560 Speaker 1: if he could channel that kind of single mindedness to 627 00:36:43,680 --> 00:36:46,839 Speaker 1: something like dealing with the pandemic, we could really have something. 628 00:36:46,880 --> 00:36:50,279 Speaker 1: Whereas Cynthia Nixon, it's like she's an actress, she's a politician, 629 00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:54,359 Speaker 1: she's bisexual. Jared Fogo would make a better I think 630 00:36:54,520 --> 00:36:57,560 Speaker 1: what you're describing is a tzar. You think that Jared 631 00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:01,520 Speaker 1: Fogo would be a good pandemics are yes and yeah, 632 00:37:01,600 --> 00:37:05,960 Speaker 1: get him in Fauci's role. Yeah, Jared Folo is the 633 00:37:06,200 --> 00:37:11,920 Speaker 1: new Faucci. Let's get a trending. I speaking of you, 634 00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:14,920 Speaker 1: know nine eleven things as kids that we interpreted weird. 635 00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:17,640 Speaker 1: Jared Fogel, I remember being a kid and being like 636 00:37:17,760 --> 00:37:22,879 Speaker 1: truly inspired and being like, Wow, anything is possible, dared 637 00:37:22,960 --> 00:37:27,920 Speaker 1: to believe like this man lost weight by eating subway. Well, Sam, 638 00:37:28,000 --> 00:37:29,759 Speaker 1: I have to tell you, as a very fat kid, 639 00:37:29,880 --> 00:37:33,920 Speaker 1: I the whole thing. Ill. It made me think that 640 00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:36,359 Speaker 1: to to lose weight with something that if I really 641 00:37:36,360 --> 00:37:37,759 Speaker 1: put my mind to it, I can do in the 642 00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:40,279 Speaker 1: span of like two months, I just needed to find 643 00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:45,520 Speaker 1: the right sandwich chain. So that's why I kept putting 644 00:37:45,520 --> 00:37:49,800 Speaker 1: it off. Yeah, well I can see that that makes sense. 645 00:37:50,000 --> 00:37:52,520 Speaker 1: Thank you. Did they not have quiz nos in Micanos 646 00:37:52,600 --> 00:37:55,680 Speaker 1: or wherever the funk you were? Well, first of all, 647 00:37:55,719 --> 00:37:57,120 Speaker 1: this was when I was in New Jersey and they 648 00:37:57,160 --> 00:38:05,319 Speaker 1: most certainly had quiz nos there. Um. So Joel, we 649 00:38:05,400 --> 00:38:07,400 Speaker 1: have this. We have asked you to have come prepared 650 00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:12,360 Speaker 1: with the topic. Yeah, and I'll say, um, the topic 651 00:38:12,719 --> 00:38:15,600 Speaker 1: I am I've come to prepared to talk to you 652 00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:18,920 Speaker 1: about is spiders and bugs. Um. And it's a topic 653 00:38:19,040 --> 00:38:22,000 Speaker 1: that I think and I was really struggling with this 654 00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:24,480 Speaker 1: because I thought, for a second, there is something feminine 655 00:38:24,600 --> 00:38:29,640 Speaker 1: about spiders. Spiders are often sort of like we project 656 00:38:30,239 --> 00:38:34,120 Speaker 1: like the female gender onto them, and spiders are girls, 657 00:38:34,120 --> 00:38:38,680 Speaker 1: sort of canonically hugs are boys, but dealing with them 658 00:38:38,880 --> 00:38:42,319 Speaker 1: is a boy's job. Is it's a straight male job. 659 00:38:42,520 --> 00:38:44,520 Speaker 1: And I'll say this, so the reason I really thought 660 00:38:44,520 --> 00:38:46,279 Speaker 1: about this is because I was really thinking about like 661 00:38:46,320 --> 00:38:49,239 Speaker 1: the last messages of my own heterosexuality. And it was 662 00:38:49,239 --> 00:38:51,120 Speaker 1: when I was like eight years old, and there was 663 00:38:51,160 --> 00:38:53,120 Speaker 1: a time in my life where I really wanted to 664 00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:56,160 Speaker 1: be an entomologist. Like that was like my first big 665 00:38:56,200 --> 00:39:00,279 Speaker 1: career aspiration was to be an entomologist, and I like 666 00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:05,040 Speaker 1: fascinated with bugs, and I was specifically and this this 667 00:39:05,120 --> 00:39:07,440 Speaker 1: hurts my heart to say, but I would. I would 668 00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:10,719 Speaker 1: capture spiders and put them in containers together and make 669 00:39:10,760 --> 00:39:15,640 Speaker 1: them fight. And then I developed empathy and realized and 670 00:39:15,719 --> 00:39:18,120 Speaker 1: it was sort of a crossroads of like, you know, 671 00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:22,200 Speaker 1: you either graduate from spiders to real animals or you become, 672 00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:25,560 Speaker 1: you know, a person with empathy. And thankfully I developed 673 00:39:25,600 --> 00:39:28,440 Speaker 1: empathy and realized how horrific that is. But I think 674 00:39:28,480 --> 00:39:34,399 Speaker 1: making Spider's fight is very straight making spiders fight. Making 675 00:39:34,440 --> 00:39:38,160 Speaker 1: Spider's fight is definitely sort of you lashing out, you know, 676 00:39:38,360 --> 00:39:41,200 Speaker 1: I I see that as you trying to fit in 677 00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:46,719 Speaker 1: with straight it feels so. But to me, making spider's 678 00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:54,480 Speaker 1: fight is very like if spiders are girls, is you're 679 00:39:54,520 --> 00:40:01,600 Speaker 1: Andy Cohen. We're kind of Andy Cole and your route Paul, 680 00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:04,120 Speaker 1: and you're making them lips thing for their lives like 681 00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:07,879 Speaker 1: this does not seem to me. I mean, imagine growing 682 00:40:07,920 --> 00:40:09,759 Speaker 1: up in a household with no barbies, what are you 683 00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:14,720 Speaker 1: gonna do? You have to find anything? Spiders were my barbies. Yeah, 684 00:40:14,960 --> 00:40:17,760 Speaker 1: and luckily I had two sisters, so barbies were my barbies. 685 00:40:18,080 --> 00:40:19,920 Speaker 1: Have I told the story on this podcast about how 686 00:40:19,960 --> 00:40:22,160 Speaker 1: one time my grandmother saw me playing with the barbie 687 00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:24,480 Speaker 1: and then immediately went outside and chain smoked for like 688 00:40:24,520 --> 00:40:32,480 Speaker 1: three hours. My parents were never prouder of me than 689 00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:34,440 Speaker 1: when I would run around and saying I wanted to 690 00:40:34,440 --> 00:40:37,400 Speaker 1: be a bug scientist. Um, and what the fund do 691 00:40:37,520 --> 00:40:41,640 Speaker 1: bug scientists are? What exactly are they doing today? You? Like? 692 00:40:41,719 --> 00:40:44,080 Speaker 1: Do I hope they feel proud of themselves that they 693 00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:47,799 Speaker 1: went into such a useless fucking field, Like we're going 694 00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:50,880 Speaker 1: through a global fucking pandemic and you're studying how crickets 695 00:40:50,960 --> 00:40:58,880 Speaker 1: nate for you for what reason? Literally? Why? Counterpoint? I 696 00:40:58,920 --> 00:41:01,440 Speaker 1: think I I knew one in college who studied ants, 697 00:41:01,719 --> 00:41:04,600 Speaker 1: and she was like, aunts are the most collaborative creatures 698 00:41:04,600 --> 00:41:06,480 Speaker 1: and if we could all channel ants, then we would 699 00:41:06,480 --> 00:41:08,840 Speaker 1: live in a socialist utopia. What do you have to 700 00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:12,080 Speaker 1: say about that? How are we gonna do that? Like 701 00:41:12,200 --> 00:41:17,000 Speaker 1: download their damn brain? I'm picked off? And ants are 702 00:41:17,000 --> 00:41:20,640 Speaker 1: also the most crushable creatures too, Okay, yes, it's called 703 00:41:20,760 --> 00:41:28,360 Speaker 1: vulnerable radical vulnerability. They're also extremely strong, they are. Do 704 00:41:28,400 --> 00:41:33,880 Speaker 1: you know who's gay? Grasshoppers? Why? Because they're hopping around? 705 00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:41,960 Speaker 1: Have you ever seen a straight person be like They 706 00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:45,520 Speaker 1: also all do sort of seem like they're wearing accessories, 707 00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:48,520 Speaker 1: like you can that's the thing. Yeah, really easily picture 708 00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:51,160 Speaker 1: a grasshopper and a top hat in a monocle, was 709 00:41:52,360 --> 00:41:55,319 Speaker 1: um any sort? And which are all three very gay 710 00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:57,799 Speaker 1: accessories as we know. Did I ever tell you about 711 00:41:57,800 --> 00:42:02,480 Speaker 1: the time I met Anthony wearing a monocle? Oh? No? Yeah. 712 00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:06,279 Speaker 1: I opened for John for Jonathan van ness Um at 713 00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:09,279 Speaker 1: the improv and to to his credit, I will say 714 00:42:09,280 --> 00:42:11,759 Speaker 1: this about Jonathan vaness doing stand up. You know for 715 00:42:11,840 --> 00:42:14,040 Speaker 1: a fact that there's no jokes, you know, going in 716 00:42:14,080 --> 00:42:18,520 Speaker 1: that there's no jokes, there's no hard set sold out 717 00:42:18,680 --> 00:42:22,120 Speaker 1: like five shows. Um, and every time he opened his 718 00:42:22,120 --> 00:42:25,359 Speaker 1: mouth just uproarious laughter. And to his credit, I will say, 719 00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:27,120 Speaker 1: at one point in the middle of his set, he 720 00:42:27,320 --> 00:42:30,520 Speaker 1: literally um was like, you guys are just laughing at 721 00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:32,920 Speaker 1: everything I say, even the stuff that's not supposed to 722 00:42:32,960 --> 00:42:35,759 Speaker 1: be funny. Why are you doing that? And then they 723 00:42:35,840 --> 00:42:38,360 Speaker 1: laughed at that even harder, and you could tell he 724 00:42:38,400 --> 00:42:40,480 Speaker 1: was sort of in his own nightmare at that point, 725 00:42:40,520 --> 00:42:42,399 Speaker 1: Like it was like a very Twilight Zone moment where 726 00:42:42,400 --> 00:42:44,719 Speaker 1: he was like, I've gotten my greatest wish, but I 727 00:42:44,760 --> 00:42:47,160 Speaker 1: hate it. And then he was he literally turned to 728 00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:48,239 Speaker 1: a woman in the front room and he's like, are 729 00:42:48,239 --> 00:42:52,320 Speaker 1: you eating pizza? Like applause break up, an applause break. 730 00:42:52,719 --> 00:42:55,120 Speaker 1: That's literally verbatim when he said, he said, are you 731 00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:58,799 Speaker 1: eating pizza? Applause break? And then he said, what are 732 00:42:59,000 --> 00:43:04,840 Speaker 1: you guys doing? Wing? Uh? So it was incredible to 733 00:43:04,880 --> 00:43:08,120 Speaker 1: watch someone sort of realized that like they just couldn't 734 00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:10,560 Speaker 1: they knew that they weren't good, but like they also 735 00:43:10,640 --> 00:43:14,479 Speaker 1: could do no wrong. And most of the other Queer 736 00:43:14,520 --> 00:43:17,160 Speaker 1: Eye guys were there, and in between shows, we were 737 00:43:17,200 --> 00:43:21,400 Speaker 1: in the green room and Tan was very nice. He 738 00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:23,640 Speaker 1: was like he treated us, like the people that were 739 00:43:23,640 --> 00:43:26,000 Speaker 1: opening for Jonathan, like we were selept. He was like, 740 00:43:26,040 --> 00:43:28,840 Speaker 1: I can't believe what you do. It's incredible. And Anthony 741 00:43:28,960 --> 00:43:32,040 Speaker 1: was like very like, no one looked at me, but 742 00:43:32,080 --> 00:43:34,520 Speaker 1: he kept being like, I'm where. I was like, why 743 00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:35,920 Speaker 1: are you? We were all sort of like, why are 744 00:43:35,960 --> 00:43:38,960 Speaker 1: you wearing um this monocle? And he said, because I 745 00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:41,960 Speaker 1: don't want people to know who I am. And it's 746 00:43:42,000 --> 00:43:46,760 Speaker 1: like you've put a target on your face. Uh no, 747 00:43:47,000 --> 00:43:50,840 Speaker 1: that's what he said. What a disguise, What a disguise? 748 00:43:50,840 --> 00:43:56,920 Speaker 1: A monocle? Um and Pete Davidson and um Ariana Grande 749 00:43:56,960 --> 00:44:01,080 Speaker 1: were also up there, and they were they are on 750 00:44:01,160 --> 00:44:04,240 Speaker 1: a very nice I did approach her and say I'm sorry, 751 00:44:04,280 --> 00:44:06,640 Speaker 1: I'm gay and I have to say this, but I 752 00:44:06,640 --> 00:44:08,920 Speaker 1: love you, and she was very and she, you know, 753 00:44:08,920 --> 00:44:10,799 Speaker 1: it was very sweet about it. And then she was like, 754 00:44:10,800 --> 00:44:13,319 Speaker 1: we're actually going to home to play quip blash and 755 00:44:13,320 --> 00:44:16,960 Speaker 1: watch Harry Potter. Um. So that's a little window into 756 00:44:17,120 --> 00:44:19,680 Speaker 1: what that relationship was. I think it's really cool that 757 00:44:19,719 --> 00:44:21,520 Speaker 1: you felt the need to say that you're gay while 758 00:44:21,560 --> 00:44:26,960 Speaker 1: you're opening for the Queer Eye Cast. I felt the 759 00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:28,600 Speaker 1: need to say I was gay, so that like she 760 00:44:28,719 --> 00:44:37,760 Speaker 1: knew why I was approaching her. Um, not, I don't know, George, listen, Joel. 761 00:44:37,840 --> 00:44:40,120 Speaker 1: I think it's beautiful that you open with that. I 762 00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:43,680 Speaker 1: think that is it's honest. That's actually how I approach 763 00:44:43,760 --> 00:44:45,920 Speaker 1: women at the gym. When I when I would go 764 00:44:45,960 --> 00:44:47,680 Speaker 1: to the gym and I would like need to work 765 00:44:47,719 --> 00:44:50,480 Speaker 1: in with the worm, I would say, I have to. Yeah. 766 00:44:50,600 --> 00:44:52,239 Speaker 1: I did go through a phase where I was like, 767 00:44:52,880 --> 00:44:55,360 Speaker 1: I didn't know that, you know, it was obvious that 768 00:44:55,400 --> 00:44:57,880 Speaker 1: I was gay, So I so I felt that every 769 00:44:57,880 --> 00:44:59,799 Speaker 1: time I talked to a woman, I thought I didn't 770 00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:01,239 Speaker 1: want her to think I was hitting on her. So 771 00:45:01,239 --> 00:45:02,719 Speaker 1: it would be very common for you to be like, 772 00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:04,880 Speaker 1: first of all, like I'm gay, so let's get that 773 00:45:04,920 --> 00:45:08,000 Speaker 1: out of the way. I always hated when, like, like, 774 00:45:08,040 --> 00:45:10,440 Speaker 1: I know, straight guys get annoyed when girls are like 775 00:45:10,520 --> 00:45:13,000 Speaker 1: my boyfriend, like really early in the conversation. But I 776 00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:14,759 Speaker 1: would get like super annoyed when they would be like, 777 00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:17,440 Speaker 1: well my boyfriend, because I was like, yeah, fine, like 778 00:45:17,480 --> 00:45:20,120 Speaker 1: I'm not, I'm literally not hitting on you, Like stop 779 00:45:20,160 --> 00:45:23,120 Speaker 1: saying your boyfriend, Like I don't care. God, girls can 780 00:45:23,160 --> 00:45:27,919 Speaker 1: be so cruel to gaze ever talked about that. People 781 00:45:27,960 --> 00:45:30,560 Speaker 1: are always talking about gay misogyny these days, but they 782 00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:38,280 Speaker 1: never talked about this. They never talked about straight homophobia. 783 00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:43,520 Speaker 1: Why are we not talking about straight homophobia? Remember when 784 00:45:43,520 --> 00:45:46,439 Speaker 1: everyone was where it was cool to be like bachelorette 785 00:45:46,480 --> 00:45:50,759 Speaker 1: parties in gay bars. Is like Nazi Germany. I do 786 00:45:50,800 --> 00:45:54,959 Speaker 1: not remember that comparison being popular. They don't remember it either, 787 00:45:55,040 --> 00:45:57,960 Speaker 1: And I do think there there is like such a 788 00:45:58,040 --> 00:46:04,319 Speaker 1: weird like they're like, gay people aren't persecuted anymore. Um, 789 00:46:04,360 --> 00:46:06,040 Speaker 1: we all know that, and I think that a lot 790 00:46:06,080 --> 00:46:10,040 Speaker 1: of kids we were still um, and so that's like 791 00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:12,719 Speaker 1: their one go to is that, well, what happens is 792 00:46:12,760 --> 00:46:15,560 Speaker 1: the gay people that are persecuted are like being resilient 793 00:46:15,719 --> 00:46:19,479 Speaker 1: and you know, being extremely strong, and the gay people 794 00:46:19,480 --> 00:46:24,680 Speaker 1: that aren't persecuted are writing uh books about being persecuted. Yeah, 795 00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:28,040 Speaker 1: well also, um, people are being persecuted don't have time 796 00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:31,200 Speaker 1: because they're being persecuted, right Exactly, If you're actually being persecuted, 797 00:46:31,200 --> 00:46:33,560 Speaker 1: you wouldn't be writing a book or kind of having 798 00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:36,839 Speaker 1: an audible original. Well, gay people today is kind of 799 00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:40,919 Speaker 1: like the Midwest during nine eleven, where it is not 800 00:46:41,080 --> 00:46:44,920 Speaker 1: about you at all. You're chilling but they're still like, 801 00:46:45,120 --> 00:46:46,960 Speaker 1: do you see what could happen to me? Like? What 802 00:46:47,040 --> 00:46:50,760 Speaker 1: that's that you hit the nail on the head. Urban 803 00:46:51,320 --> 00:46:55,319 Speaker 1: gay people today with homophobia are like the Midwest with 804 00:46:55,400 --> 00:47:00,360 Speaker 1: nine eleven. It has nothing to do with you. Stop 805 00:47:00,480 --> 00:47:10,480 Speaker 1: making this about you. Yes, canned goods and stop you. 806 00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:15,000 Speaker 1: They just want to come into the bars. M um. 807 00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:19,319 Speaker 1: So bugs, I'm honestly surprised that you liked them. Do 808 00:47:19,400 --> 00:47:22,880 Speaker 1: you still feel comfortable around I'm tortured. The other reason 809 00:47:22,920 --> 00:47:25,080 Speaker 1: I brought up spiders is because so I live by 810 00:47:25,080 --> 00:47:28,359 Speaker 1: a river currently very close to river. I won't say 811 00:47:28,360 --> 00:47:32,480 Speaker 1: which one because people to find me. It's the river wild. 812 00:47:34,920 --> 00:47:37,200 Speaker 1: And because of that, there are a lot of bugs. 813 00:47:37,239 --> 00:47:39,160 Speaker 1: And I live in a spider haven. There are no 814 00:47:39,320 --> 00:47:41,600 Speaker 1: less than five spiders in every room of my apartment 815 00:47:42,040 --> 00:47:46,680 Speaker 1: right now, and it is um it's terrifying. And my neighbors, 816 00:47:47,000 --> 00:47:49,520 Speaker 1: who I live in a duplex and I share a 817 00:47:49,520 --> 00:47:52,040 Speaker 1: backyard with my neighbors, and there they begged me every 818 00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:54,359 Speaker 1: day not to kill the spiders. These other spiders are 819 00:47:54,360 --> 00:47:57,280 Speaker 1: so important to the ecosystem because they kill the other bugs. 820 00:47:57,680 --> 00:47:59,759 Speaker 1: And I famously have a joke where I say I 821 00:47:59,760 --> 00:48:01,319 Speaker 1: don't want to work with the bugs to get rid 822 00:48:01,360 --> 00:48:02,719 Speaker 1: of the bugs. You know, I don't want to work 823 00:48:03,200 --> 00:48:06,040 Speaker 1: the community to get rid of the other bubbles um. 824 00:48:06,080 --> 00:48:08,919 Speaker 1: But that's how I feel, because it just doesn't seem 825 00:48:09,000 --> 00:48:11,759 Speaker 1: worth it. And also they're constantly telling me they're like, 826 00:48:11,800 --> 00:48:14,160 Speaker 1: the spiders are more afraid of you than you are 827 00:48:14,200 --> 00:48:16,600 Speaker 1: at them. And to that, I say, prove that, because 828 00:48:16,719 --> 00:48:20,040 Speaker 1: it gets like if they're afraid, then they should leave. Yes, exactly. 829 00:48:20,480 --> 00:48:27,000 Speaker 1: They I don't share a bed with people I'm afraid of. Yes, yeah, 830 00:48:29,080 --> 00:48:32,319 Speaker 1: it can be hot to be a little scared. Yeah, Jo, 831 00:48:32,520 --> 00:48:36,520 Speaker 1: that's that one we're not on board with. We were 832 00:48:36,600 --> 00:48:40,000 Speaker 1: like with you until the very end. You ever thought 833 00:48:40,040 --> 00:48:42,440 Speaker 1: that the bugs think it's hot to be scared of 834 00:48:42,480 --> 00:48:45,719 Speaker 1: you and therefore they get in your bed? Maybe? You know? 835 00:48:45,960 --> 00:48:48,080 Speaker 1: I hate I hate it when the first thing people 836 00:48:48,120 --> 00:48:50,319 Speaker 1: bring up with spiders is how many spiders you eat 837 00:48:50,400 --> 00:48:52,600 Speaker 1: in a year? And I feel like, during the pandemic, 838 00:48:52,640 --> 00:48:56,160 Speaker 1: we're all eating so many more spiders than we normally would, right, 839 00:48:57,520 --> 00:49:01,000 Speaker 1: I do what. I would love to know the logic 840 00:49:01,040 --> 00:49:04,239 Speaker 1: on that. Wait, I have a question, what even is 841 00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:07,440 Speaker 1: the whole like, um, we eat this many spiders in 842 00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:10,680 Speaker 1: a year? I feel like someone just made that up once. No, 843 00:49:10,840 --> 00:49:12,400 Speaker 1: I believe it because have you ever woken up with 844 00:49:12,440 --> 00:49:15,880 Speaker 1: a spider on your face? I know I've woken up 845 00:49:15,920 --> 00:49:22,320 Speaker 1: with a giant cockroach on my back. Congrats, So you've 846 00:49:22,360 --> 00:49:25,280 Speaker 1: woken up with a spider on your face many times? 847 00:49:25,480 --> 00:49:28,319 Speaker 1: Have you never? Never creeping on your face? And sort 848 00:49:28,320 --> 00:49:30,919 Speaker 1: of like you never once? Oh my god, you guys 849 00:49:30,960 --> 00:49:33,360 Speaker 1: are gaslighting me right now. This is a this is 850 00:49:33,480 --> 00:49:38,400 Speaker 1: a human experience that many people share. No, what's gaslighting 851 00:49:38,480 --> 00:49:40,799 Speaker 1: is everyone being like, yeah, you eat a number of 852 00:49:40,800 --> 00:49:43,080 Speaker 1: spiders in your lifetime, and it's like, where's the data? 853 00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:46,359 Speaker 1: Why it's in there? That's what I wonder. Why would 854 00:49:46,400 --> 00:49:49,879 Speaker 1: they go in there? Well, they're attracted to moisture. Oh 855 00:49:49,920 --> 00:49:52,000 Speaker 1: are they? I don't know, but that makes sense you 856 00:49:52,040 --> 00:49:55,799 Speaker 1: an entomologists. Maybe I think this is a total and 857 00:49:55,840 --> 00:49:59,000 Speaker 1: complete urban myth. I think I've worked it up and 858 00:49:59,000 --> 00:50:02,160 Speaker 1: I think it's a lie. And I the fact that 859 00:50:02,160 --> 00:50:04,360 Speaker 1: it spread is because it's such a juicy piece of 860 00:50:04,360 --> 00:50:07,320 Speaker 1: gossip that everyone talks about it. But it's not true. 861 00:50:08,280 --> 00:50:11,200 Speaker 1: I would say that it is my experience that I 862 00:50:11,239 --> 00:50:13,200 Speaker 1: have woken up with enough spiders on my face to 863 00:50:13,200 --> 00:50:15,640 Speaker 1: believe that I personally have eaten a number of spiders 864 00:50:16,040 --> 00:50:19,360 Speaker 1: in this very month alone. Probably how many times a 865 00:50:19,440 --> 00:50:21,360 Speaker 1: year do you wake up with spiders on your face? 866 00:50:22,520 --> 00:50:25,600 Speaker 1: It's a monthly occurrence. I would say, Oh, this is 867 00:50:25,600 --> 00:50:32,400 Speaker 1: absolutely Joel. This think something is up with you. You 868 00:50:32,440 --> 00:50:35,080 Speaker 1: are like you are like one with the spiders, like 869 00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:40,520 Speaker 1: I don't like spider Man. Yeah no, wait, I'm not Actually, 870 00:50:40,680 --> 00:50:43,000 Speaker 1: I'm not making this up, and I actually am wondering 871 00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:47,480 Speaker 1: if you guys are like you've never You've literally never 872 00:50:47,600 --> 00:50:50,279 Speaker 1: woken up. I've promised you. I have never had a 873 00:50:50,280 --> 00:50:52,560 Speaker 1: spider on my face, Joel, look at me and listen. 874 00:50:53,040 --> 00:50:55,640 Speaker 1: Of course, I love to gaslight people, but right now 875 00:50:55,920 --> 00:50:59,000 Speaker 1: I'm not gaslighting. I have never once had a spider 876 00:50:59,040 --> 00:51:01,560 Speaker 1: on my face that I've don't know, people right into 877 00:51:01,600 --> 00:51:08,680 Speaker 1: Stradio lab at gmail dot com. Yes, that is actually, um, 878 00:51:08,719 --> 00:51:10,600 Speaker 1: and tell me if you've ever woken up with a 879 00:51:10,600 --> 00:51:13,840 Speaker 1: spider on your face, because that is an experience that 880 00:51:13,920 --> 00:51:15,440 Speaker 1: I thought was I thought I was going to come 881 00:51:15,480 --> 00:51:17,600 Speaker 1: on the pot and you'd be like, yes, of course, 882 00:51:17,640 --> 00:51:20,279 Speaker 1: that experience that we all share. No. I mean, it's 883 00:51:20,280 --> 00:51:23,319 Speaker 1: so crazy because even I, as everyone knows, I'm in 884 00:51:23,360 --> 00:51:25,759 Speaker 1: the midst of a cockroach infestation. In fact, my way 885 00:51:25,760 --> 00:51:28,839 Speaker 1: of dealing with it is moving and um despite that, 886 00:51:28,960 --> 00:51:31,759 Speaker 1: I've never woken up with bugs except for that one 887 00:51:31,840 --> 00:51:34,920 Speaker 1: notable exception with bugs on my person. Spider. But you 888 00:51:34,960 --> 00:51:37,040 Speaker 1: know what, I don't actually know if New York is 889 00:51:37,040 --> 00:51:40,200 Speaker 1: a spider town. That's true, that's true. Like when was 890 00:51:40,200 --> 00:51:42,680 Speaker 1: the last time you even saw a spider? You know what? 891 00:51:42,800 --> 00:51:44,920 Speaker 1: That's I will agree with you there. I'm trying to 892 00:51:44,960 --> 00:51:48,359 Speaker 1: think of all the other various places I've lived if 893 00:51:48,360 --> 00:51:50,200 Speaker 1: I've ever woken up with a spider on my face. 894 00:51:50,440 --> 00:51:52,759 Speaker 1: I mean I lived in like a gross sort of 895 00:51:52,880 --> 00:51:56,600 Speaker 1: spidery basement when I was in college, and never once 896 00:51:56,640 --> 00:51:58,200 Speaker 1: so I wake up with a spider on my face. 897 00:51:58,520 --> 00:52:02,680 Speaker 1: Well that was in Michigan, right, Virginia. They're not They're 898 00:52:02,920 --> 00:52:05,759 Speaker 1: it's not the same type, you don't you? Is this river? 899 00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:08,680 Speaker 1: Are they just in l A? Are they all trying 900 00:52:08,680 --> 00:52:13,520 Speaker 1: to make it? I that that might actually be honestly possible, 901 00:52:13,600 --> 00:52:16,640 Speaker 1: because the thing is, I've never experienced spiders like I've 902 00:52:16,680 --> 00:52:18,840 Speaker 1: experienced spiders in l A. It's living next to the 903 00:52:18,920 --> 00:52:23,839 Speaker 1: river like I have, Well, they might be the river 904 00:52:25,160 --> 00:52:28,160 Speaker 1: and I wait, retently, walking through webs and I always 905 00:52:28,440 --> 00:52:35,120 Speaker 1: and always I'm contually walking through webs. This is like 906 00:52:35,160 --> 00:52:39,040 Speaker 1: a y a novel, like literally like Stranger Things, and 907 00:52:39,080 --> 00:52:42,719 Speaker 1: you're just walking through like sheets of webs. Well and 908 00:52:42,800 --> 00:52:45,120 Speaker 1: they're supposedly I found this out. You're not supposed to 909 00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:48,799 Speaker 1: clear away webs because the spiders eat their webs for 910 00:52:48,800 --> 00:52:51,399 Speaker 1: sustenance when they're not catching enough bugs. Which to that, 911 00:52:51,520 --> 00:52:54,200 Speaker 1: I say, not my problem. If you didn't get it, 912 00:52:54,360 --> 00:52:56,319 Speaker 1: if you didn't get it in the night before, like 913 00:52:56,360 --> 00:53:01,160 Speaker 1: you're supposed to spiders eating their own webs. Yeah, it's 914 00:53:01,200 --> 00:53:04,680 Speaker 1: that's very like you know, eating your own cup exactly, 915 00:53:04,840 --> 00:53:09,520 Speaker 1: kind of like that. Okay. Also, I think you should 916 00:53:09,600 --> 00:53:11,799 Speaker 1: take take away the webs, because you know, it's sort 917 00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:14,799 Speaker 1: of like you want to motivate those spiders to not 918 00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:16,719 Speaker 1: just sort of depend on eating their web. You want 919 00:53:16,719 --> 00:53:19,000 Speaker 1: to say, hey, no, you can't have the safety net 920 00:53:19,080 --> 00:53:21,920 Speaker 1: get out there and eat bugs, well literal safety new 921 00:53:22,160 --> 00:53:24,839 Speaker 1: I will say. I will say that I am I'm 922 00:53:24,920 --> 00:53:27,960 Speaker 1: constantly screaming at them because a lot of the spiders 923 00:53:27,960 --> 00:53:30,960 Speaker 1: will choose web areas that are like near the ground, 924 00:53:31,040 --> 00:53:33,640 Speaker 1: and famously most of the bugs are in the sky, 925 00:53:34,239 --> 00:53:37,200 Speaker 1: and so I'm I say, what are you doing down there. 926 00:53:37,200 --> 00:53:38,880 Speaker 1: Of course you need to eat your own webs. And 927 00:53:38,880 --> 00:53:42,960 Speaker 1: I and I just it's so frustrating because they're not 928 00:53:43,000 --> 00:53:44,960 Speaker 1: the whole reason we're not killing the bugs the spiders 929 00:53:45,000 --> 00:53:46,800 Speaker 1: is because they're supposed to be killing these flying the 930 00:53:47,160 --> 00:53:51,480 Speaker 1: mosquitoes and the dangerous disnease carrying bugs and they're not 931 00:53:51,520 --> 00:53:55,799 Speaker 1: doing it because they're on the ground so base. There 932 00:53:55,840 --> 00:53:58,000 Speaker 1: are no bugs in my house too. That's the other thing. 933 00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:00,879 Speaker 1: What are they doing what they're doing in my house? 934 00:54:00,920 --> 00:54:04,560 Speaker 1: Maybe they're lifestyle spiders. I mean, it's like, how you know, 935 00:54:04,600 --> 00:54:07,319 Speaker 1: what are we doing? Not per creating, I don't know, 936 00:54:07,400 --> 00:54:12,160 Speaker 1: living our lives? That is true, that is true. We 937 00:54:12,280 --> 00:54:16,520 Speaker 1: are God's spiders. We are gods will endorsed spiders. Yeah, 938 00:54:16,560 --> 00:54:23,080 Speaker 1: I mean all we do is eat our own We 939 00:54:23,160 --> 00:54:27,000 Speaker 1: don't know. I'm just like, here's the thing. If I 940 00:54:27,040 --> 00:54:30,160 Speaker 1: was like, if you knew a person, it's like, okay, 941 00:54:30,200 --> 00:54:32,400 Speaker 1: everyone else or like many people are having sex and 942 00:54:32,400 --> 00:54:34,600 Speaker 1: there was just one person and only ate his own Come, 943 00:54:35,040 --> 00:54:37,440 Speaker 1: it's not your place to judge him. That's just like 944 00:54:37,480 --> 00:54:39,719 Speaker 1: what he does. And these spiders don't catch but because 945 00:54:39,719 --> 00:54:43,160 Speaker 1: they just eat their own webs. But that's not what 946 00:54:43,200 --> 00:54:50,120 Speaker 1: they're supposed to be doing. Wow, current problematic line of 947 00:54:50,160 --> 00:54:58,759 Speaker 1: reasoning is overshadowing my um my that you were. I 948 00:54:58,800 --> 00:55:00,960 Speaker 1: have this entire time in thinking how I can edit 949 00:55:01,000 --> 00:55:03,080 Speaker 1: out that part to make myself sound less like I 950 00:55:03,160 --> 00:55:06,279 Speaker 1: support Cuomo. I don't think there's a way to do it. 951 00:55:06,760 --> 00:55:11,360 Speaker 1: You literally said that Cynthia Nixon was too weak willed 952 00:55:11,960 --> 00:55:13,600 Speaker 1: to handle. I mean I didn't kind of say that, 953 00:55:13,640 --> 00:55:17,600 Speaker 1: and I don't have her own sexuality, but she can't 954 00:55:18,400 --> 00:55:21,680 Speaker 1: fight her way out of a pandemic Cynthia Nixon, Well, 955 00:55:21,760 --> 00:55:24,440 Speaker 1: I'm really glad she's attached to the next Ryan Murphy project. 956 00:55:24,480 --> 00:55:27,960 Speaker 1: I'll say that she is. Yeah, she's thrown in the towel. 957 00:55:28,040 --> 00:55:31,520 Speaker 1: She's not going. There's already a trailer for it. Oh, 958 00:55:31,800 --> 00:55:35,360 Speaker 1: is it Nurse Ratchet or whatever something like that. Okay, 959 00:55:36,239 --> 00:55:39,680 Speaker 1: Nurse Ratchet. I don't think it's actually called Nurse Ratchet. 960 00:55:40,680 --> 00:55:48,200 Speaker 1: That's my latest single, Megan Stallion Nurse Wait, so you 961 00:55:48,239 --> 00:55:50,440 Speaker 1: have a heart out, So we need to do um 962 00:55:50,520 --> 00:55:54,640 Speaker 1: um our final segment. I forgot all about that, I know. 963 00:55:55,040 --> 00:55:57,880 Speaker 1: So we do a final segment um for the listeners 964 00:55:57,880 --> 00:55:59,920 Speaker 1: listening for the first time. I guess I'll explain it 965 00:56:00,040 --> 00:56:03,239 Speaker 1: to you because somebody left a review on our podcast 966 00:56:03,320 --> 00:56:07,480 Speaker 1: that said it's a little too inside baseball. Sometimes somebody 967 00:56:07,520 --> 00:56:10,399 Speaker 1: actually said that, you know, somebody did say that. There's 968 00:56:10,480 --> 00:56:14,040 Speaker 1: one review that said that, and I said, wait, I'm 969 00:56:14,040 --> 00:56:16,800 Speaker 1: blinging it up right now. Should be said, game, bitch, 970 00:56:17,000 --> 00:56:20,160 Speaker 1: that's why you're mad. Yeah, don't be fucking mad. Moved 971 00:56:20,200 --> 00:56:23,719 Speaker 1: to New York, dumb moved from an ault comedian. And 972 00:56:23,719 --> 00:56:25,799 Speaker 1: then if you listen to our podcast and you're not 973 00:56:25,800 --> 00:56:28,440 Speaker 1: an alt comedian in New York, we do not want 974 00:56:28,520 --> 00:56:33,080 Speaker 1: your business. This is a boutique podcast that is put 975 00:56:33,080 --> 00:56:35,839 Speaker 1: out by us and us alone. Not even Forever Dog 976 00:56:35,880 --> 00:56:39,239 Speaker 1: contame us. Oh there it is. First of all, the 977 00:56:39,239 --> 00:56:42,479 Speaker 1: title of this review is beige, and then it says 978 00:56:42,600 --> 00:56:44,840 Speaker 1: flashes of wit. But it all seems like an inside 979 00:56:44,920 --> 00:56:47,160 Speaker 1: joke that I'm not privy to. I might be missing 980 00:56:47,200 --> 00:56:50,000 Speaker 1: some of some of nuances since I don't live in 981 00:56:50,000 --> 00:56:54,719 Speaker 1: New York though, mhmm. Here's what I will say. I 982 00:56:54,760 --> 00:56:57,920 Speaker 1: guarantee you that most people who live in New York 983 00:56:59,160 --> 00:57:04,239 Speaker 1: also are podcasts, also are not privy to some kind 984 00:57:04,280 --> 00:57:09,600 Speaker 1: of inside joke. I okay. To their credit, this podcast 985 00:57:09,760 --> 00:57:15,319 Speaker 1: is definitely an intermediate level podcast. Actually, I actually have 986 00:57:15,440 --> 00:57:18,840 Speaker 1: you listened to some of Have you listened to Karamo's podcast? 987 00:57:18,920 --> 00:57:22,840 Speaker 1: Come on, no, Joe, I have not listened to Karamo's podcast. 988 00:57:22,920 --> 00:57:24,560 Speaker 1: What do you I'm doing sitting around listening to the 989 00:57:24,640 --> 00:57:28,280 Speaker 1: damn Queer Eye guys podcasts. I've been saying that like 990 00:57:28,320 --> 00:57:31,960 Speaker 1: this podcast is infinitely better than like Chasen's podcast or 991 00:57:32,000 --> 00:57:37,080 Speaker 1: likely for instance, I would rather listen to this for 992 00:57:37,160 --> 00:57:39,320 Speaker 1: ten hours straight than listen to one episode of pod 993 00:57:39,400 --> 00:57:47,280 Speaker 1: Save Well, I would have to agree. Shots fired, you've heard. Wait, 994 00:57:47,080 --> 00:57:49,000 Speaker 1: we we have to we have to do um what's 995 00:57:49,000 --> 00:57:51,640 Speaker 1: our final segment called? Oh shout outs? That's right, shout 996 00:57:51,640 --> 00:57:53,760 Speaker 1: out and we give a shout out to something that 997 00:57:53,800 --> 00:57:58,160 Speaker 1: we like in the style. I just really take this 998 00:57:58,200 --> 00:58:01,280 Speaker 1: to be like an like an m t V t 999 00:58:01,520 --> 00:58:04,160 Speaker 1: r L situation, and some guys think it's radio and 1000 00:58:04,160 --> 00:58:06,320 Speaker 1: it's really interesting to see what Well, we haven't decided 1001 00:58:06,360 --> 00:58:09,600 Speaker 1: which one it is, and once again I'm I personally 1002 00:58:09,640 --> 00:58:11,919 Speaker 1: don't decide as I'm doing it, what what I'm trying 1003 00:58:11,920 --> 00:58:15,200 Speaker 1: to go for. I think it's open to interpretation, and 1004 00:58:15,320 --> 00:58:17,760 Speaker 1: I think George again it's good at it, but he 1005 00:58:17,920 --> 00:58:20,680 Speaker 1: is uh he the low He comes in with his 1006 00:58:20,840 --> 00:58:25,200 Speaker 1: low um sense of self and it's help his team. 1007 00:58:25,640 --> 00:58:31,320 Speaker 1: Shut up. Shut up, actually shut up? You know, actually 1008 00:58:31,440 --> 00:58:35,720 Speaker 1: shut up. I have I have one today and I'm 1009 00:58:35,720 --> 00:58:39,640 Speaker 1: ready for it. Okay, great, then you can start what's up? Listeners? 1010 00:58:39,680 --> 00:58:41,520 Speaker 1: I want to give a quick shout out to Chasti 1011 00:58:41,560 --> 00:58:45,120 Speaker 1: and Buddha, Jedge Karamo, Jonathan van Ness, John Lovett from 1012 00:58:45,120 --> 00:58:48,920 Speaker 1: Pot Save American all other prominent gay men. I think 1013 00:58:49,000 --> 00:58:51,200 Speaker 1: what you're doing is so good, and you're opening doors 1014 00:58:51,280 --> 00:58:53,640 Speaker 1: for me left and right. I can't even I don't 1015 00:58:53,680 --> 00:58:55,360 Speaker 1: have time to go through each of these doors. Every 1016 00:58:55,400 --> 00:58:56,760 Speaker 1: day I wake up and I go through each door 1017 00:58:56,800 --> 00:58:58,919 Speaker 1: and I say this one, maybe this one. If anything, 1018 00:58:58,960 --> 00:59:01,280 Speaker 1: there are too many options with me as for me 1019 00:59:01,360 --> 00:59:05,160 Speaker 1: as a young gay man in media, splash entertainment, and 1020 00:59:05,200 --> 00:59:07,480 Speaker 1: I wish some of them would close along with the 1021 00:59:07,480 --> 00:59:12,480 Speaker 1: people who opened up. Okay, I'll go now, what's up? Listeners? UM? 1022 00:59:12,480 --> 00:59:13,960 Speaker 1: I just want to give a quick shout out to 1023 00:59:13,960 --> 00:59:18,320 Speaker 1: toxic parance everywhere. Um. I just rode on an airplane, 1024 00:59:18,440 --> 00:59:21,720 Speaker 1: Yes it's allowed, who cares? Live it up? Yellow? And 1025 00:59:21,760 --> 00:59:24,800 Speaker 1: there was a parent behind me who was absolutely going 1026 00:59:24,960 --> 00:59:28,320 Speaker 1: off on the flight attendant. It was quite rude, and 1027 00:59:28,480 --> 00:59:30,000 Speaker 1: I don't know why they were so mad, but they 1028 00:59:30,080 --> 00:59:32,479 Speaker 1: kept condescending to her, and she was being really nice, 1029 00:59:32,760 --> 00:59:35,000 Speaker 1: and they kept saying, what's her last name, what's your 1030 00:59:35,040 --> 00:59:37,440 Speaker 1: last name? I'm gonna report you. I'm gonna report you. 1031 00:59:37,680 --> 00:59:39,440 Speaker 1: And it was like, literally, just make your kids sit 1032 00:59:39,520 --> 00:59:41,760 Speaker 1: and see. That's all she's asking me to do. And 1033 00:59:41,880 --> 00:59:45,000 Speaker 1: he wouldn't stop talking to her for the entire hour flight. 1034 00:59:45,360 --> 00:59:48,320 Speaker 1: And she was nice and she was funny, and her 1035 00:59:48,320 --> 00:59:51,600 Speaker 1: presentation was original, and I cared for this woman. And 1036 00:59:51,640 --> 00:59:53,360 Speaker 1: I tried to smile at her when I left and 1037 00:59:53,360 --> 00:59:55,760 Speaker 1: said thank you, but I was wearing my mask and 1038 00:59:55,800 --> 00:59:57,920 Speaker 1: so she couldn't see my smile. And I don't think 1039 00:59:57,960 --> 01:00:00,200 Speaker 1: my eyes are that expressive. And that is is the 1040 01:00:00,240 --> 01:00:02,720 Speaker 1: truth that I have to live with. I love you, 1041 01:00:02,800 --> 01:00:04,880 Speaker 1: by At, I hate you evil parents. It was your 1042 01:00:04,960 --> 01:00:06,800 Speaker 1: choice to have kids and no one else had them. 1043 01:00:07,120 --> 01:00:13,840 Speaker 1: By what a journey. Hey, guys, what's up? I just 1044 01:00:13,840 --> 01:00:16,240 Speaker 1: want to send out a quick shout out to my barber. 1045 01:00:16,400 --> 01:00:19,040 Speaker 1: He is back in business and his warped sense of 1046 01:00:19,160 --> 01:00:21,840 Speaker 1: celebrity as as I am one of his celebrity clients. 1047 01:00:21,880 --> 01:00:27,520 Speaker 1: Along with his other celebrity clients. Zendeia's mom, the celebrity clients, 1048 01:00:27,600 --> 01:00:29,960 Speaker 1: me and Zendia's mom. I love him so much. I 1049 01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:32,320 Speaker 1: love the way he cuts my hair and constantly feels 1050 01:00:32,360 --> 01:00:35,880 Speaker 1: me on him Today's greatest conspiracy theories. I did not 1051 01:00:35,960 --> 01:00:38,439 Speaker 1: know about the Wayfair one until I got my hair 1052 01:00:38,440 --> 01:00:42,360 Speaker 1: cut by my barber, and he is constantly, yes, constantly, constantly, 1053 01:00:42,360 --> 01:00:46,080 Speaker 1: constantly referring to them or they, and he refuses to 1054 01:00:46,120 --> 01:00:49,720 Speaker 1: elaborate on who they are. I love them, ray that 1055 01:00:49,800 --> 01:00:52,720 Speaker 1: he makes me feel uncomfortable, but I cannot find anyone 1056 01:00:52,760 --> 01:00:55,600 Speaker 1: else to cut Asian hair, so I keep going back, 1057 01:00:55,680 --> 01:00:58,280 Speaker 1: even though he is much better than my last barber, 1058 01:00:58,320 --> 01:01:01,840 Speaker 1: who would constantly show me right porn on his phone 1059 01:01:02,280 --> 01:01:04,120 Speaker 1: while he was gutting my hair. And then I finally 1060 01:01:04,160 --> 01:01:05,840 Speaker 1: came out to him after a year and he just 1061 01:01:05,880 --> 01:01:10,280 Speaker 1: started showing me weirder porn, not showing me more at all. 1062 01:01:10,520 --> 01:01:13,280 Speaker 1: So in that way, Mr Barber, even though he does 1063 01:01:13,360 --> 01:01:16,800 Speaker 1: believe that children are being trafficked through Wayfair cabinets, is 1064 01:01:16,960 --> 01:01:19,120 Speaker 1: much better than my last barber, and I love him 1065 01:01:19,160 --> 01:01:24,680 Speaker 1: and I just want to say thank you. Wait, I 1066 01:01:24,720 --> 01:01:29,000 Speaker 1: didn't know that Wayfair thing. You didn't know that it's 1067 01:01:29,000 --> 01:01:33,960 Speaker 1: a classic. Apparently, um the name of Wayfair cabinets aligns 1068 01:01:33,960 --> 01:01:37,280 Speaker 1: with the names of missing girls, and if you order 1069 01:01:37,480 --> 01:01:42,120 Speaker 1: a specific Wayfair cabinet, you're ordering that missing girl. I 1070 01:01:42,160 --> 01:01:45,480 Speaker 1: think I explained that correctly, but I mean, like third 1071 01:01:45,520 --> 01:01:49,400 Speaker 1: hand through my barber, who is not I don't know. 1072 01:01:49,800 --> 01:01:53,520 Speaker 1: He clearly doesn't understand what's happening. So I'm not sure 1073 01:01:53,520 --> 01:01:57,240 Speaker 1: why you will look into this well and enjold to 1074 01:01:57,280 --> 01:02:00,520 Speaker 1: your to your former barber. I just say, I feel 1075 01:02:00,560 --> 01:02:04,840 Speaker 1: like all barbers are straight and currently horny. They I've 1076 01:02:04,840 --> 01:02:10,680 Speaker 1: never had showing men. It's not authentic. He he. He 1077 01:02:10,720 --> 01:02:13,160 Speaker 1: literally went from just showing me like what he jerked 1078 01:02:13,160 --> 01:02:16,760 Speaker 1: off to the night before, to showing me like weird 1079 01:02:17,000 --> 01:02:21,880 Speaker 1: check like not checked fantasy, but like check like guys 1080 01:02:22,000 --> 01:02:25,760 Speaker 1: painting with their dicks and oh yeah, I've gone down 1081 01:02:25,800 --> 01:02:30,960 Speaker 1: that rabbit hole. Well that seems pretty inclusive. Yeah, I 1082 01:02:30,960 --> 01:02:34,320 Speaker 1: mean he was trying, he was doing his best. Yeah, 1083 01:02:34,400 --> 01:02:41,120 Speaker 1: and the ally of the week goes to Joel's former barber. Um. So, Joel, 1084 01:02:41,360 --> 01:02:46,240 Speaker 1: I guess thank you for doing the pod. Incredible montime 1085 01:02:46,360 --> 01:02:51,520 Speaker 1: coming um first time long time. I'm really excited to 1086 01:02:51,640 --> 01:02:56,200 Speaker 1: see you know where you guys land with this US too, 1087 01:02:56,280 --> 01:02:58,720 Speaker 1: And we have been kind of crash landing for a 1088 01:02:58,760 --> 01:03:01,200 Speaker 1: few months now, and I could that way to see 1089 01:03:01,200 --> 01:03:04,880 Speaker 1: where the final destination is, hopefully the Forever Dog Offices. 1090 01:03:06,960 --> 01:03:12,640 Speaker 1: Maybe your Wolf you know, Headgun? Oh sure, why not? 1091 01:03:13,680 --> 01:03:16,000 Speaker 1: Why not? I say all of them, All of them 1092 01:03:16,000 --> 01:03:18,800 Speaker 1: are possibilities, and I can't say anymore, Honey, as long 1093 01:03:18,840 --> 01:03:20,520 Speaker 1: as I can buy a brown Stone at the end 1094 01:03:20,520 --> 01:03:23,400 Speaker 1: of this, I'm set. What if we Oh my god, Sam, 1095 01:03:23,440 --> 01:03:26,440 Speaker 1: imagine if we can't buy a brown Store from Brown Store, 1096 01:03:27,120 --> 01:03:29,840 Speaker 1: a brown Store from our podcast money. That would be 1097 01:03:29,880 --> 01:03:33,959 Speaker 1: really sad. I I've been told by many, many people 1098 01:03:34,000 --> 01:03:35,320 Speaker 1: that I will be able to buy a brown Stone 1099 01:03:35,320 --> 01:03:36,520 Speaker 1: at the end of this. I need to buy a 1100 01:03:36,520 --> 01:03:40,320 Speaker 1: brown Store, which is a store where I sell only 1101 01:03:40,360 --> 01:03:45,080 Speaker 1: objects that are shades of brown. And I think you can, okay, 1102 01:03:45,200 --> 01:03:48,760 Speaker 1: should be Should we go? Then? Do you guys get 1103 01:03:48,800 --> 01:03:53,480 Speaker 1: the end of your podcast or what? No Queen By