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Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John, your og okay

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Speaker 1: Storytime podcast hosts, and we got some delicious, juicy stories

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Speaker 1: coming up.

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Speaker 2: But if you want to hear that deliciousness, you know,

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Speaker 2: just stick around for a two minute break with a

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Speaker 2: word from our sponsors. My sister in law stole our

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Speaker 2: baby's name, but now she regrets it. Maybe you shouldn't

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Speaker 2: have been named thieving. Hey, y'all, longtime lurker and all that.

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Speaker 2: This is a throwaway account to cut to the chase.

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Speaker 2: My wife and I spent four years trying to get

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Speaker 2: pregnant before the wrong side of thirty five. We are

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Speaker 2: currently thirty three respectfully now and are blessed with a

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Speaker 2: wonderful infant son. By the way, this comes from you Dad,

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Speaker 2: who stood his ground on the Roka Storytime subreddit. So,

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Speaker 2: my wife has a younger half sister that she has

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Speaker 2: been low contact with for some time. The woman is

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Speaker 2: entitled and toxic and also her mother's boldened child. We've

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Speaker 2: refused to let her or my mother in law in

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Speaker 2: the house since you both blatantly tried to make off

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Speaker 2: with my wife's jewelry box a couple of years. So

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Speaker 2: not only are they name thieves, they are just they

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Speaker 2: are literally just these.

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Speaker 1: Yeah.

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Speaker 2: The box contained a whole lot of valuable jewelry inherited

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Speaker 2: from my wife's grandmother. That jewelry is now in a

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Speaker 2: safety deposit box, as per my suggestion. My wife and

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Speaker 2: I nearly given up trying to conceive when it suddenly happened,

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Speaker 2: and we were astatic. After we found out we were

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Speaker 2: having a boy, we started looking into names. I ended

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Speaker 2: up suggesting the name of my Scottish grandfather.

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Speaker 1: Don't know what that was.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I'll let that one fly. Yeah, Okay, we're just

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Speaker 2: gonna we're gonna fly away. And my wife loved it,

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Speaker 2: so that's the name we settled on, but we made

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Speaker 2: the mistake of posting about it on social media. Well,

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Speaker 2: no surprise to the stereotype in this mess. My sister

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Speaker 2: in law was pregnant too, and months further along than

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Speaker 2: my wife and also having a boy. He decided to

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Speaker 2: claim my grandfather's name for her own sign, and not

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Speaker 2: just the first name, but the middle name too. We

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Speaker 2: called her pissed over what she was doing, and she

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Speaker 2: smugly told us there's nothing we can do about it.

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Speaker 1: Which she sort of was right.

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Speaker 2: Nothing we could do about it legally, as it's still

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Speaker 2: not a crime to steal planned baby names. We realized

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Speaker 2: that drama was exactly what my sister in law wanted.

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Speaker 2: She thought by taking the name for herself, wo'd not

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Speaker 2: be able to use it. I laughed and told her

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Speaker 2: that what she did was dirty and underhanded. We would

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Speaker 2: keep our chosen name and she could just deal with

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Speaker 2: it whether she decides to go through with copying us

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Speaker 2: or not. Well, my sister in law's baby daddy called

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Speaker 2: me and said I was an unreasonable wiener for still

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Speaker 2: wanting to use the name after sister in law claimed it.

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Speaker 2: I said he claimed nothing, and since we couldn't own

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Speaker 2: the name, then neither could they. Before we ended the call,

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Speaker 2: he threatened me by saying I'd be sorry if we

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Speaker 2: didn't change the name. Then he hung up before I

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Speaker 2: could respond. Months later, sister in law has a healthy

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Speaker 2: baby boy and names him this is my grandfather's name.

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Speaker 2: We did not show up for the birth, both because

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Speaker 2: of the pandemic and because we simply didn't care to

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Speaker 2: be there. Sistern in law called us wanting congratulations, but

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Speaker 2: we told her we simply didn't care, and that is

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Speaker 2: she was still insisting we changed our baby's name. Then

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Speaker 2: she be in for some big disappointment because we were

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Speaker 2: not sister in law dumbmanded. I put my wife on

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Speaker 2: the phone, but it was already on speaker, and my

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Speaker 2: wife spoke up and said, no, I agree, we weren't

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Speaker 2: changing the name. Sistern law hung up on us, but

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Speaker 2: soon started sending emails with text walls of names, even

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Speaker 2: suggest saying similar ones. I responded back that the name

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Speaker 2: was from my grandfather and that's why we were not

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Speaker 2: changing it.

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Speaker 1: She shut up and we.

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Speaker 2: Didn't hear from her again until after our own son

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Speaker 2: was born two months later.

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Speaker 1: We are blessed with our son. He came out perfect

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Speaker 1: and we named him just as we intended.

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Speaker 2: Well, no surprise, my sister in law called us a

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Speaker 2: few days after the birth, the scream in our ears

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Speaker 2: that we copied her son's name. I pointed out she

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Speaker 2: was a real copycat. She had no familial ties to

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Speaker 2: the name, and we did, and anyone who looks at

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Speaker 2: our family trees could see that. Then my wife spoke

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Speaker 2: and said, after the attempted theft of her grandmother's jewelry,

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Speaker 2: she no longer considered.

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Speaker 1: Sister elaw her sister and.

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Speaker 2: Would have nothing to do with her nephew either. For months,

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Speaker 2: we were bombarded with messages and emails my wife's side

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Speaker 2: of the family, half four on our side after finding

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Speaker 2: out the whole story. And it's always like family members

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Speaker 2: like never want to like check in and be like

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Speaker 2: I heard this as this trially just jumped to like

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Speaker 2: name calling.

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Speaker 1: I'm not gonna like check if my information is right.

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Speaker 2: Oll, clearly these people are just self centered ales the

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Speaker 2: other half or not. And sister in law's baby daddy,

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Speaker 2: true to his ward, showed up at my door to

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Speaker 2: make me sorry. Now this is getting scared, all right,

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Speaker 2: Let's all right, let's get the police involved here at this. Yeah, Jesus,

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Speaker 2: I'm not sure what his plan was, but I pretty

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Speaker 2: much towered over him.

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Speaker 1: I Miss Six's one and well built.

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Speaker 2: From regular exercise and three trips to the gym a week. He,

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Speaker 2: on the other side, was very skinny and about five six,

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Speaker 2: with a baby face that was badly hidden by a

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Speaker 2: slim beard. I told him my house has cameras and

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Speaker 2: to get off my property and never come back. He

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Speaker 2: just yelled a few obscenities at me, like ungrateful wiener,

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Speaker 2: and drove off in his beat up old car. Sister

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Speaker 2: in law and mother in law called us from a

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Speaker 2: different number to yell at me from making sister in

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Speaker 2: law's baby daddy feel emasculated. I didn't even threaten the match.

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Speaker 2: She just told him to leave and not come back,

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Speaker 2: and if he didn't want to feel emasculated, then he

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Speaker 2: shouldn't have come knocking. Then they tried to bring up

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Speaker 2: the issue of the baby's name and demanded we changed

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Speaker 2: our son's name as he's so young.

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Speaker 1: They said there's.

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Speaker 2: Still plenty of time to do it. We held our

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Speaker 2: ground and told them that they were bunkers. Still think

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Speaker 2: we're in the right, that you were in the right.

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Speaker 2: After they copied our choice of name just to try

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Speaker 2: and get one over on us, I said, sistern in

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Speaker 2: law didn't even name her son out of love, but

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Speaker 2: out of spite. Just try to stick it to my

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Speaker 2: wife for no good reason. Then my wife called them

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Speaker 2: both out on the way she was treated growing up,

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Speaker 2: how entitled sister in law and mother in law have

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Speaker 2: always been, and how she was glad to leave them

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Speaker 2: far behind and she wants nothing from them and they

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Speaker 2: won't have anything from us. That left sister in law sobbing,

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Speaker 2: and mother in law called me a royal bee before

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Speaker 2: hanging up on the phone. That was no contact again

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Speaker 2: for a little while, while still sister in law called

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Speaker 2: us again sometime later to bitterly tell us we'd won.

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Speaker 2: She and her baby daddy got in a huge, huge

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Speaker 2: fight and he left apparently very sore that sister in

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Speaker 2: law didn't let him even give their son a middle

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Speaker 2: name from his family, and he said he was sick

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Speaker 2: of the bs and wanted his son named after him

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Speaker 2: and not some guy he wasn't even related to.

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Speaker 1: So this is hilarious.

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Speaker 2: So sister in law's husband, who is the one like

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Speaker 2: physically threatening to like back up his sister naming the

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Speaker 2: kid in spite, was actually like, on second.

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Speaker 1: Thought, this is weird. I don't want to be a

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Speaker 1: part of this. And also he's be named after me.

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Speaker 1: What a guy? Look at it? This guy coming up

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Speaker 1: with solutions. We love to see it.

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Speaker 2: Right, But if you want to be related to someone,

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Speaker 2: you could be related to us by going to join

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Speaker 2: us live on YouTube and Facebook every weekday at three

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Speaker 2: pm PST. Probably why right now, so's have a profile,

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Speaker 2: but there is a relevant update.

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Speaker 1: Let's discuss.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, I think we've all said our piece here. I

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Speaker 2: think we know exactly where we sit. It's like and now,

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Speaker 2: as this shows all, this could have just been fixed

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Speaker 2: if the dad was just like, oh, hey, what do

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Speaker 2: I actually think about this?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Oh yeah, can we name our kid after me? Since

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Speaker 1: I'm his dad? But I love that.

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Speaker 2: It wasn't just like I don't want to be a

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Speaker 2: part of this naming in spite. It was like I

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Speaker 2: want them to be named after me, right, which is.

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Speaker 1: Like, I don't know. It was good. He saw the light.

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Speaker 2: It was like the beam of sunlight like shined down

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Speaker 2: on his head, and he like, wait, wait a minute,

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Speaker 2: I can solve all of this right now, and then

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Speaker 2: he did. I don't think it was a solve. I

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Speaker 2: think it was just like he was like this is weird,

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Speaker 2: and also like I want it.

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Speaker 1: I want it. Yeah, He's like, I don't care about

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Speaker 1: any of this. I want it to be mine name.

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Speaker 2: The sistern law finally caved and they got the boy's

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Speaker 2: birth certificate reissued with a completely new name okay, which

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Speaker 2: costs sister in law around five hundred dollars, or so

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Speaker 2: she claims. Sister in law then demanded shut up, shut up,

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Speaker 2: shut up. Sister in law then demanded we at least

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Speaker 2: compensate her for the name change, plus another one hundred

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Speaker 2: dollars for the emotional damage, as she's now going to

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Speaker 2: have to get used to calling her son by a

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Speaker 2: different name. I I be.

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Speaker 1: Actually they need to be studied. Put these people in

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Speaker 1: a lab.

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Speaker 2: And because you can't be, they gotta be from another

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Speaker 2: planet if they're thinking that that's a normal thing.

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Speaker 1: I go into every stream. I have a long drive.

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Speaker 2: I go into every stream and I go, you know what, today,

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Speaker 2: I'm really gonna empathize with people I don't understand.

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Speaker 1: I'm gonna try my best to do that for the

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Speaker 1: audience that we.

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Speaker 2: Could all together try to make the effort to understand people.

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Speaker 2: It's hard to understand, and that every stream I read

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Speaker 2: the story and there's no explanation.

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Speaker 1: I take it back. I can't. I can't. I can't

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Speaker 1: make sense of this. I take it back. I can't

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Speaker 1: do it. I can't do it. Not to do it tomorrow,

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Speaker 1: and then I go home. I'm like, you know what,

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Speaker 1: I might be better next time.

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Speaker 2: I think, I mean, I think all that it needs

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Speaker 2: to be said is clearly like the childhood sibling dynamic

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Speaker 2: plays a heavy role here.

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Speaker 1: I would assume one hundred percent. Yeah, there's way.

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Speaker 2: Yes, we laughed, which is an appropriate response, and said

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Speaker 2: this would have never happened if she hadn't stolen our

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Speaker 2: baby name to begin with, and we didn't owe her anything.

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Speaker 2: Since then, we've been no contact with sister in law

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Speaker 2: and mother in law, but my father in law, who's

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Speaker 2: a very nice man and divorced from mother in law

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Speaker 2: for obvious reasons, would come by often and love his grandson.

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Speaker 2: From what he and other relatives told us, the situation

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Speaker 2: between sister in law and her baby daddy, it's pretty tumultuous.

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Speaker 1: But we don't care. Not our monkeys, not our circuit.

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Speaker 2: No way, we had double Not our monkeys, not our circus.

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Speaker 2: That's crazy, do we We just had that again the

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Speaker 2: last story, but said that, Yeah, I don't remember them

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Speaker 2: saying yeah they did.

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Speaker 1: I read it.

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Speaker 2: Remember, Wow, that's crazy. We already know, we already know

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Speaker 2: exactly where we're at here. Okay, cool, done with the story.

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Speaker 1: Yes, that is that.

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Speaker 2: My in laws spread misinformation about my son, so we

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Speaker 2: went no contact with them. Just censor them, get censored.

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Speaker 2: You're canceled, Get censored. You goofball and say exactly like that.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, for starters.

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Speaker 2: I am an extremely big supporter of mental health, especially

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Speaker 2: since I suffer a lot with issues myself. I and

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Speaker 2: my partners see absolutely no issue with our children being

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Speaker 2: on the spectrum. Our issue is with how this was

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Speaker 2: addressed by his family. By the way, this comes from

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Speaker 2: user joint which and if you want to submit your stories,

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Speaker 2: do so on the r slash okay storytime subreddit. To

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Speaker 2: the story, we went to a big Thanksgiving dinner at

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Speaker 2: my mother in law's house with almost every member of

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Speaker 2: his family in attendance. During the after dinner chatting, the

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Speaker 2: subject of Ontario schooling came up. Now, normally I don't

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Speaker 2: speak much during these big family events due to being

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Speaker 2: shy and generally disliked by most of the women in

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Speaker 2: his family.

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Speaker 1: More context on that later.

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Speaker 2: But as I have a degree in youth care and

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Speaker 2: a strong opinion on the matter, I figured this conversation

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Speaker 2: would be a good chance to connect with some of

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Speaker 2: his family, like he's been asking and wanting me to do.

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Speaker 2: Almost immediately when I spoke up, they changed the topic

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Speaker 2: slightly to being about how wonderful it is that the

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Speaker 2: system has so much help for troubled children. His aunt

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Speaker 2: in law gave me some side eye while this this

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Speaker 2: and mentioned that I should find it useful. I tried

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Speaker 2: to brush it off and said it would definitely be

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Speaker 2: if my children ever needed that help. She made a

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Speaker 2: nasty comment on how quote I need to consider my

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Speaker 2: children's needs more. All this in front of my two kids.

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Speaker 2: I left the room and took the kids outside for

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Speaker 2: some fresh air and better company.

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Speaker 1: Hello birds.

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Speaker 2: My daughter, female eleven from another partner, but who my

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Speaker 2: current partner adopted unofficially ever since we started dating eight

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Speaker 2: years ago, actually does have some issues which we are

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Speaker 2: addressing with doctors in the school. However, this jab in

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Speaker 2: particular was directed at our son, male two, who is

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Speaker 2: non speaking. He makes gestures, makes eye contact, he babbles NonStop,

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Speaker 2: and has a great understanding of instruction, but he does

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Speaker 2: not yet speak in sentences. We have been to see

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Speaker 2: our family doctor, a child development specialist, and are also

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Speaker 2: in talk therapy with him. All of the possible tests

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Speaker 2: at this age have been done and confirmed that he

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Speaker 2: has no medical issues. He just really doesn't feel like

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Speaker 2: talking yet. After our breath of fresh air, we returned

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Speaker 2: to the house. My guess is that the conversation had

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Speaker 2: shifted to being about us, because as I stepped back

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Speaker 2: into the dragon's den, Aunt in law started speaking louder,

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Speaker 2: as if I could somehow not hear her from a

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Speaker 2: foot away. She said, verbatim, quote, it's just so sad

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Speaker 2: that children don't get the help they need, all because

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Speaker 2: the parents are two in denial, right, Amy, which is

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Speaker 2: not my real name.

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Speaker 1: But she was speaking to me and looking directly at me.

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Speaker 2: At no point did I lose my cool, I replied back, quote,

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Speaker 2: we aren't in denial, Karen. Yes, I named her this

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Speaker 2: on purpose. The doctors have told us that he just

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Speaker 2: needs time, and this opened the floodgates, which is crazy

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Speaker 2: that the doctors. This is definitely the kind of person

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Speaker 2: who's like, what does a doctor know?

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Speaker 1: I know best? Aunt? What doctors?

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Speaker 2: Me? Multiple, sister in law, Well, not a specialist, obviously, me. Yes,

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Speaker 2: we've seen a specialist. Actually, we have three doctors who

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Speaker 2: have confirmed that he's not on the spectrum. Aunt, Well,

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Speaker 2: then you need another opinion, sister in law, and actual

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Speaker 2: specialists at that and in law can leo my partner

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Speaker 2: again not a real name, confirm this me?

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Speaker 1: Yes, he's actually the one taking him to talk therapy.

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Speaker 2: Lots of hmm at this I decided to tell Leo

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Speaker 2: that I wanted to leave right away, after politely disengaging

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Speaker 2: from the conversation. For context, he was in the bathroom

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Speaker 2: the whole time this was happening. Dinner did not agree

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Speaker 2: with him. I cried the whole way home. My issue

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Speaker 2: was not that they had concerns, which they later insisted

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Speaker 2: that was all it was. My issue was that I

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Speaker 2: clearly stated that we were caring for him, and they

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Speaker 2: made it out as if I, yes, me specifically, somehow

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Speaker 2: was not in front of everyone, including my kids.

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Speaker 1: Yes, it gets worse.

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Speaker 2: We found out that they had been spreading this misinformations

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Speaker 2: to other corners of the family tree, talking about how

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Speaker 2: in denial we were about our son's needs and how

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Speaker 2: we were setting him up for failure. We received multiple

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Speaker 2: comments from others who were not in attendance about why

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Speaker 2: we were treating our son this way. Leo contact both

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Speaker 2: as Anton sister to ask that they apologize for their behavior,

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Speaker 2: to which they insisted they didn't need to apologize for

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Speaker 2: simply having voiced their concerns. Our point was that if

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Speaker 2: they had concerns, they could have brought them to us

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Speaker 2: directly and privately instead of making it into a big

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Speaker 2: shaming scene at a family event.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you can't fool us.

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Speaker 2: You did this to bash us, You did this to

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Speaker 2: dunk on us in front of the family.

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Speaker 1: It did not seem like there was any care involved

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Speaker 1: at all. Like Leo, like the direct relative of these people, which.

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Speaker 2: Is your partner, your husband's slash boy whatever, Leo needs

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Speaker 2: to be calling them out right and like it's like

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Speaker 2: he's babe Ruth falling his shot, says, you can't do this.

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Speaker 1: We are taking care of our kids. You need to

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Speaker 1: shut your mouths worry about your own business.

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Speaker 2: They also said that our efforts weren't good enough, that

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Speaker 2: was crossing a line and was being disrespectful to us

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Speaker 2: as parents, them then spreading this to others like wildfire,

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Speaker 2: trying to paint us as the bad guys.

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Speaker 1: They both insisted we were crazy, that's the.

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Speaker 2: Actual claim, and in denial for wanting apologies from them. Also,

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Speaker 2: they were somehow both under the delusion that I was

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Speaker 2: forcing Leo to ask them for apologies, which was not

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Speaker 2: the case, and that I specifically was the one creating

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Speaker 2: drama and tearing the family apart. His sister saying well,

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Speaker 2: if it's not autism, then there's something else wrong with

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Speaker 2: him was our final straw. I had to be the

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Speaker 2: one comforting Leo, who was beyond pissed at this point

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Speaker 2: and just wanted to go no contact, and convincing him

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Speaker 2: that an apology would be adequate enough for me. An

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Speaker 2: apology would mean that they are taking accountability for the

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Speaker 2: things that they've said and done.

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Speaker 1: At the bare.

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Speaker 2: Minimum, at most, it could mean they're genuinely sorry for

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Speaker 2: those things. He gave them an ultimatum they apologize and

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Speaker 2: promised not to treat me harshly in the future, and

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Speaker 2: then we can start fresh, or he plans to never

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Speaker 2: have contact with them again, except for in case of

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Speaker 2: family emergencies. Slightly more context aunt and sister in law

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Speaker 2: have always been outrageously rooted and insulting to me at

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Speaker 2: every family gathering since I started dating Leo, from downright

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Speaker 2: ignoring me small comments about my looks, too, saying I'm

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Speaker 2: the the only thing wrong with my daughter, and outright

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Speaker 2: claiming that I tried to trap him in a relationship

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Speaker 2: by lying about my.

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Speaker 1: Very real fertility issues.

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Speaker 2: This is just the point at which we've both had

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Speaker 2: enough of their thinly veiled abusive behavior. I'm not sure

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Speaker 2: if I've left anything out or not, but I'll try

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Speaker 2: to answer any forthcoming questions.

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Speaker 1: So am I the ahole? You know what? I think

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Speaker 1: you'd almost.

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Speaker 2: Be the ahole for continuing to have these people in

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Speaker 2: your life, Like I think you need to completely for

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Speaker 2: yourself and for your kids, Like you don't want these

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Speaker 2: people around them. They're othering your children. They're verbally abusive

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Speaker 2: to you. It's like, just cut them off. You're not

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Speaker 2: being an a whole, You're being too nice. You need

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Speaker 2: to be more of an a whole.

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Speaker 1: I'm not trying to be.

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Speaker 2: Rude, but when people share stories around like people that

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Speaker 2: are so like objectively being.

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Speaker 1: Awful, and then they're like, but am I the ahole?

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00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:49,560
Speaker 2: That we do have an edit and probably a little

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Speaker 2: update here. Let's let's get into it. You are all

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Speaker 2: so amazing and your responses are heartwarming. I have a

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Speaker 2: bit more context to add. This toxic behavior from both

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Speaker 2: of them is the reason I begged Leo not to

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Speaker 2: attend these family gatherings up until this particular event. He

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Speaker 2: was insistent I just try to be nice and ignore it.

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Speaker 2: He is now finally starting to see this behavior for

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Speaker 2: what it is and is willing to go no contact.

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Speaker 2: The difficult part about going no contact resides with his mother,

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Speaker 2: the mother in law, who has also treated me in

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Speaker 2: the same way, but was not part of the above conflict.

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Speaker 2: In fact, she sided with them at first, saying that

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Speaker 2: we were exaggerating things and making her choose sides, even

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Speaker 2: to the point where he said he would go no

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Speaker 2: contact with them, and she said, well, I.

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Speaker 1: Guess you don't want to ever see me either.

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Speaker 2: Then. However, things have smoothed over with her to some extent,

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Speaker 2: as she is very important to Leo, but her hurtful

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00:17:38,359 --> 00:17:41,280
Speaker 2: comments towards me are still an issue. By the way,

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Speaker 2: if you have an issue not having enough Okay story

399
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:45,919
Speaker 2: time in your life, I have an issue. I have

400
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,160
Speaker 2: great news for you, because you can get full episodes

401
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:48,960
Speaker 2: with stories like this.

402
00:17:49,200 --> 00:17:50,960
Speaker 1: Really. All you have to do is go to your.

403
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:55,240
Speaker 2: Preferred podcast platform, whatever it is Spotify, Apple Podcasts, iHeartRadio,

404
00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:58,840
Speaker 2: anywhere where you can get podcasts, search Okay Storytime and boom,

405
00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:01,359
Speaker 2: you'll have all the episodes your heart could ever desire.

406
00:18:01,520 --> 00:18:03,600
Speaker 2: It is really true, It's true, and there's we're adding

407
00:18:03,600 --> 00:18:05,960
Speaker 2: episodes every day, No, every single day, three day.

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00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,560
Speaker 1: We're adding episodes. Now you know, Now I know there

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Speaker 1: is some more story here, I think clearly. Well.

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Speaker 2: What confused me was I thought, OHP was trying to

411
00:18:13,920 --> 00:18:17,040
Speaker 2: talk Leo back from going no contact, but then seemed

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Speaker 2: in the edit context update like she was glad he

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Speaker 2: was moving towards no contact. So I'm kind of confused

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00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,879
Speaker 2: about that. But I'm fully on no contact here. I

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Speaker 2: would I would not be upset if they went no

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Speaker 2: context for mostly just for the children, like for the

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Speaker 2: stuff they said about the kids, but yeah, saying I

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Speaker 2: mean the kids.

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Speaker 1: They need to show extreme remorse for the things that

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Speaker 1: they've said and done. But let's finish this story lastly.

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Speaker 2: I showed all of this to Leo, and he agrees

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Speaker 2: that he should have recognized their behavior or at least

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00:18:48,880 --> 00:18:51,639
Speaker 2: believed me when I told him about it a lot sooner.

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Speaker 2: And it's very apologetic for forcing me to go to

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Speaker 2: family events for this long. We aren't married yet, but

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Speaker 2: he plans to elope with me to avoid the unnecessary

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00:19:00,119 --> 00:19:04,280
Speaker 2: family time. What a w right there? It's it is

428
00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:08,680
Speaker 2: respecting your desires, right. It's hard to see the bs

429
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Speaker 2: of family until some people point it out sometimes it

430
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Speaker 2: truly is, and even when they point it out, like

431
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,200
Speaker 2: there can be some resistance to it where it's it's

432
00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:20,000
Speaker 2: it's your family, it's like you've had to like warpgrammed.

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Speaker 2: It's so often that someone has to warp their way

434
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Speaker 2: of viewing reality because reality is too uncomfortable to be with.

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00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:29,359
Speaker 2: And then someone else who hasn't done those mental gymnastics

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Speaker 2: in order to be okay with the situation that's not

437
00:19:31,720 --> 00:19:33,800
Speaker 2: okay is like that's not okay, and you're.

438
00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:36,720
Speaker 1: Like, no, no, I have a structure built around this. Yeah, yeah,

439
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:37,320
Speaker 1: it makes sense.

440
00:19:37,359 --> 00:19:39,959
Speaker 2: Thank you all again for the amazing amount of support,

441
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,400
Speaker 2: and yes, for our sake and the kids, we are

442
00:19:42,520 --> 00:19:46,680
Speaker 2: officially going no contact with the people, and mother in

443
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:48,960
Speaker 2: law is on low contact until she can treat me

444
00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:51,800
Speaker 2: as the woman that matters most to him. Those Rilio's

445
00:19:51,840 --> 00:19:55,520
Speaker 2: words sweet W husband, w W family, I mean not

446
00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:58,400
Speaker 2: the ones that are no contact your family, your husband,

447
00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:00,840
Speaker 2: your son, your daughter, you double at the end of

448
00:20:00,880 --> 00:20:05,520
Speaker 2: that story, my sister in law hates my son just

449
00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,120
Speaker 2: because her brother.

450
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:11,200
Speaker 1: Is the father sister in law brother son. I think

451
00:20:11,200 --> 00:20:14,720
Speaker 1: we're gonna need the white board. My brain cannot confirm that.

452
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:17,280
Speaker 2: Yeah, So I wrote this post earlier, but a lot

453
00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:20,679
Speaker 2: of people insinuated that my husband did things to my

454
00:20:20,800 --> 00:20:24,639
Speaker 2: sister in law. So time to add ages. I thirty

455
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:27,960
Speaker 2: old female, am married to my husband, a thirty old male.

456
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:29,680
Speaker 1: We have a ten month old son.

457
00:20:29,840 --> 00:20:32,720
Speaker 2: My husband was no contact with his family from the

458
00:20:32,760 --> 00:20:34,760
Speaker 2: ages of twenty one to twenty eight.

459
00:20:34,720 --> 00:20:35,959
Speaker 1: Because they were nasty to him.

460
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,840
Speaker 2: By the way, this comes from you dash technical Potato

461
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,679
Speaker 2: four four three on the r okay storytime subreddit. So

462
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:44,199
Speaker 2: he's autistic and he boyed him for it. So they

463
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:46,520
Speaker 2: also weren't a fan of me. I met my husband

464
00:20:46,560 --> 00:20:48,480
Speaker 2: when he was sixteen years old. At the time, I

465
00:20:48,520 --> 00:20:50,600
Speaker 2: was in a relationship with someone else. My husband and

466
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:52,520
Speaker 2: I were just friends. The person I was with turned

467
00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:55,320
Speaker 2: abusive very fast, and I had trouble getting out. Husband

468
00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:58,760
Speaker 2: helps me. We've been dating since we were eighteen years old.

469
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,040
Speaker 2: Family was very again him helping me get out of

470
00:21:01,080 --> 00:21:04,000
Speaker 2: the relationship because of reasons they still haven't told us.

471
00:21:04,119 --> 00:21:06,600
Speaker 2: His sister, the one in question, was two years old

472
00:21:06,600 --> 00:21:08,760
Speaker 2: at this time. He has not lived at home since

473
00:21:08,760 --> 00:21:12,800
Speaker 2: his sister was four. Sister in law is fifteen years

474
00:21:12,920 --> 00:21:15,640
Speaker 2: old right now. From what I've heard from sister in law,

475
00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:19,000
Speaker 2: mother in law, father in law, and all other relatives.

476
00:21:19,119 --> 00:21:22,640
Speaker 2: My husband and sister in law were very close. He

477
00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:26,240
Speaker 2: was excited to have her become an addition to the family.

478
00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:28,600
Speaker 2: He played with her and really went into the big

479
00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:31,040
Speaker 2: brother role for her. He still tries to, but he's

480
00:21:31,080 --> 00:21:34,160
Speaker 2: a very bad communicator. He's in therapy working on it.

481
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,000
Speaker 2: Sister in law was not a fan of.

482
00:21:35,920 --> 00:21:36,800
Speaker 1: Me being pregnant.

483
00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:39,639
Speaker 2: She avoided me, wouldn't look at ultrasound pictures, and wouldn't

484
00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:41,280
Speaker 2: even look at me when I was pregnant. When my

485
00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:43,840
Speaker 2: son was born, she avoided him and would run and

486
00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:45,840
Speaker 2: cry when we asked her to hold him. We had

487
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:48,880
Speaker 2: no idea why. We had theories she's scared to hurt him.

488
00:21:48,960 --> 00:21:51,120
Speaker 2: Maybe she doesn't like me because for a long time

489
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:52,080
Speaker 2: his family didn't.

490
00:21:52,280 --> 00:21:54,960
Speaker 1: Maybe because the baby is mixed race, or jealousy. Nope.

491
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:57,280
Speaker 2: She said at a family dinner to everyone that it's

492
00:21:57,320 --> 00:22:01,639
Speaker 2: because of who my sons fought is her brother. She

493
00:22:01,760 --> 00:22:04,560
Speaker 2: doesn't like my son because her brother is the father.

494
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:06,960
Speaker 2: She said if the baby was someone else's child, she

495
00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:09,520
Speaker 2: would be okay with him. Mother in law started laughing

496
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:12,960
Speaker 2: because she thought it was hilarious. My husband's older sister

497
00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:17,639
Speaker 2: was confused. Husband was pissed, but stay quiet. I was shot.

498
00:22:17,720 --> 00:22:21,040
Speaker 2: Father in law said, that's still your nephew. It shouldn't matter.

499
00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:24,399
Speaker 2: I asked husband's aunt and grandmother what they thought, and

500
00:22:24,440 --> 00:22:27,760
Speaker 2: they think it's because mother in law encourages sister in

501
00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:31,080
Speaker 2: law to be immature and manipulative. If sister in law cries,

502
00:22:31,160 --> 00:22:33,520
Speaker 2: mother in law caves and does whatever she wants, husband

503
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:35,800
Speaker 2: is just hurt and wants to keep the baby away

504
00:22:35,840 --> 00:22:37,919
Speaker 2: from her. So those saying that my husband did something

505
00:22:37,920 --> 00:22:40,119
Speaker 2: to her, I one hundred percent doubt it. My husband

506
00:22:40,160 --> 00:22:42,720
Speaker 2: as a teenager was very introverted and wanted to be alone.

507
00:22:42,760 --> 00:22:43,440
Speaker 1: He didn't want to be.

508
00:22:43,400 --> 00:22:45,639
Speaker 2: Around his family and would interact with his sister when

509
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:47,320
Speaker 2: he was forced to. But he still loves her and

510
00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:49,359
Speaker 2: had nothing against her. He just didn't want to be

511
00:22:49,400 --> 00:22:52,359
Speaker 2: around his parents. I'm not asking for advice, I'm just venting.

512
00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:55,800
Speaker 2: I'll be talking with husband's grandma Saturday to see what

513
00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:58,920
Speaker 2: we should do. Well, this isn't a good update, kinda.

514
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:01,800
Speaker 2: I talked to multiple family members on my husband's side

515
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,119
Speaker 2: and they all agree that what sister in law said

516
00:23:04,119 --> 00:23:06,560
Speaker 2: and mother in law's reaction was out of line and

517
00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:11,240
Speaker 2: not okay. Husband aunt said that sister in law is spoiled, entitled,

518
00:23:11,280 --> 00:23:13,879
Speaker 2: and mother in law has raised a very immature teenager.

519
00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:15,920
Speaker 2: I don't know if this is relevant, but I found

520
00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:18,159
Speaker 2: it interesting. Sister in law has a boyfriend and he

521
00:23:18,240 --> 00:23:20,920
Speaker 2: worships the ground she walks on. She, on the other hand,

522
00:23:20,920 --> 00:23:23,240
Speaker 2: doesn't even want to be around him. She just orders

523
00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:25,639
Speaker 2: him around like a servant. This is what I was told.

524
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:27,040
Speaker 2: All this came to a head when we went to

525
00:23:27,080 --> 00:23:29,080
Speaker 2: another dinner with them. We planned to talk it out,

526
00:23:29,080 --> 00:23:31,600
Speaker 2: but so many things happened that we decided to slowly

527
00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:34,639
Speaker 2: go low contact. I had mother in law watch my

528
00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:36,720
Speaker 2: son for two minutes while I went to the bathroom,

529
00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:38,960
Speaker 2: and that time my son almost choked on food. I

530
00:23:39,040 --> 00:23:41,720
Speaker 2: explicitly said not to give him. Sister in law called

531
00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:45,600
Speaker 2: him a stupid baby. Husband's oldest sister tried giving my

532
00:23:45,680 --> 00:23:47,240
Speaker 2: son some booze.

533
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:50,200
Speaker 1: Okay, I think I know why, though, Let's keep going.

534
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:53,359
Speaker 1: What's strong? Oh think it's all for teething. It's probably

535
00:23:53,359 --> 00:23:55,760
Speaker 1: for teething. Okay, Yeah, Because I hear that, I'm like,

536
00:23:55,840 --> 00:23:57,800
Speaker 1: what is this a thing? It is a thing.

537
00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:00,439
Speaker 2: It's like it's like it's like back when like like

538
00:24:00,480 --> 00:24:04,480
Speaker 2: the freaking wild West, Like it's not a thing anymore,

539
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:06,479
Speaker 2: but it was at at one point us.

540
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:08,680
Speaker 1: All this happened in the span of twenty minutes, by

541
00:24:08,680 --> 00:24:10,600
Speaker 1: the way, which is crazy to do that. And it's

542
00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:11,320
Speaker 1: not your kid.

543
00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:14,639
Speaker 2: Yeah, someone's not making that call when you're literally not

544
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:19,240
Speaker 2: even the apparent is you know? My husband left with

545
00:24:19,320 --> 00:24:22,040
Speaker 2: his dad to the store, so I couldn't just leave,

546
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:24,280
Speaker 2: but we left when he came back after all that happened.

547
00:24:24,359 --> 00:24:25,280
Speaker 1: Husband is furious.

548
00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:27,240
Speaker 2: I haven't mentioned it to husband's family yet, but we

549
00:24:27,320 --> 00:24:28,960
Speaker 2: decided it would be best if we spent more time

550
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:30,880
Speaker 2: with the extended family and not waste time with bone.

551
00:24:30,920 --> 00:24:33,399
Speaker 2: If you're wondering why my family is in all of this,

552
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:36,359
Speaker 2: I live very far away from them. Sister in law

553
00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:38,600
Speaker 2: is now sixteen years old. Her birthday was a few

554
00:24:38,680 --> 00:24:41,280
Speaker 2: days ago. We did not attend her party.

555
00:24:41,320 --> 00:24:43,919
Speaker 1: Okay, update number two, Yes, second update, let's hit it.

556
00:24:43,960 --> 00:24:46,159
Speaker 2: So I thought I was going to update again, but

557
00:24:46,440 --> 00:24:49,280
Speaker 2: oh lord Christmas. Plus, this is more of a mini

558
00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:51,720
Speaker 2: update and more inside in who my sister and mother

559
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:54,879
Speaker 2: in law are. My grandfather and cousin came to visit me.

560
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:58,200
Speaker 2: My in laws extended a visit to my family members

561
00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:00,159
Speaker 2: to see them for Christmas dinner.

562
00:25:00,560 --> 00:25:03,080
Speaker 1: Christmas Cui Christmas.

563
00:25:03,119 --> 00:25:04,919
Speaker 2: My mother in law and sister in law did not

564
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:08,320
Speaker 2: greet to speak or acknowledge my grandpa and cousin. My

565
00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:11,280
Speaker 2: grandpa tried talking to mother in law, just chit chat,

566
00:25:11,400 --> 00:25:13,840
Speaker 2: and she clearly wasn't paying attention. At one point, my

567
00:25:13,920 --> 00:25:18,720
Speaker 2: grandpa said, well, OPI and husband are such wonderful parents.

568
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:22,040
Speaker 2: Mother in law didn't even even respond. She just looked

569
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:25,399
Speaker 2: at my grandpa. Sister in law cried the whole time.

570
00:25:26,680 --> 00:25:29,080
Speaker 2: It was almost fast enough. I was like, sister in law,

571
00:25:29,200 --> 00:25:31,240
Speaker 2: mother in law have chosen violence.

572
00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:34,639
Speaker 1: Ice cold, Ice called the violence.

573
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:37,679
Speaker 2: She just looked at my grandpa and locked herself in

574
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:39,680
Speaker 2: her room when we showed up. Husband and I have

575
00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:42,000
Speaker 2: come to decision on the matter. We will be going

576
00:25:42,359 --> 00:25:45,040
Speaker 2: very low contact with mother in law and sister in law.

577
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:48,080
Speaker 2: Father in law and my son are very close, so

578
00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:50,800
Speaker 2: I will be around them because I can't take that

579
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:53,240
Speaker 2: away from my son. However, it will be made aware

580
00:25:53,280 --> 00:25:55,440
Speaker 2: that we will be taking a step back, so they're

581
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:57,080
Speaker 2: going low contact and they're going to name it to

582
00:25:57,119 --> 00:25:57,720
Speaker 2: them very.

583
00:25:57,640 --> 00:25:58,359
Speaker 1: Good, very good.

584
00:25:58,520 --> 00:26:01,359
Speaker 2: I'm still on the like why it seems like they

585
00:26:01,400 --> 00:26:03,760
Speaker 2: were doing all this detective war coat and.

586
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:06,359
Speaker 1: Then this happened, and then they're just annoying and bad.

587
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:09,000
Speaker 2: It seems like, sure they don't seem to be the

588
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:12,479
Speaker 2: most emotionally mature people, but it seems like if someone

589
00:26:12,720 --> 00:26:16,440
Speaker 2: is crying, won't even look at your pregnant wife, and

590
00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:19,200
Speaker 2: then when the baby is born, is like, I can't

591
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:21,200
Speaker 2: even look at it. I'm going to cry and run away.

592
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:24,160
Speaker 2: It seems like something something is he needs to be sighted,

593
00:26:24,240 --> 00:26:25,879
Speaker 2: something's up, something needs to be spoken.

594
00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:26,640
Speaker 1: But I think I.

595
00:26:26,600 --> 00:26:29,040
Speaker 2: Said this earlier once I said this earlier, but I'm

596
00:26:29,080 --> 00:26:32,320
Speaker 2: still just confused on why they can't just ask the

597
00:26:32,359 --> 00:26:35,440
Speaker 2: sister in law. I think the aunt briefly mentioned that

598
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:38,600
Speaker 2: the mom the mother in law, which would be her sister, right,

599
00:26:38,760 --> 00:26:41,919
Speaker 2: she has like an inside scrape though Ope's aunt or

600
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:44,760
Speaker 2: the ope's aunt in law right, Okay, the mother in

601
00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:48,120
Speaker 2: law's sister said that she was raising the little grand

602
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:51,720
Speaker 2: one child, sure, a little nightmare lady. That it's sort

603
00:26:51,760 --> 00:26:53,680
Speaker 2: of like the apple then far too fall from the

604
00:26:53,720 --> 00:26:56,520
Speaker 2: tree there, So mother in law is imprinting all of

605
00:26:56,520 --> 00:26:59,920
Speaker 2: her negative toxic traits under her daughter. And all that

606
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:03,720
Speaker 2: has been happening since the brother op's husband has been

607
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:05,160
Speaker 2: out of the picture, so I think it's just gotten

608
00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:07,160
Speaker 2: to a point where it's like, there is no solving

609
00:27:07,160 --> 00:27:11,080
Speaker 2: this situation because the problem is our presence. The problem

610
00:27:11,119 --> 00:27:13,160
Speaker 2: is that we are here with our baby and we're

611
00:27:13,200 --> 00:27:16,280
Speaker 2: taking attention away from I think her dynamic with her

612
00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:20,320
Speaker 2: boyfriend also speaks volumes again by making assumptions here and

613
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:22,520
Speaker 2: we are with the information we've been given.

614
00:27:22,600 --> 00:27:24,679
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just saying all that could be true. But

615
00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:26,640
Speaker 1: I just the point I'm trying to make is why

616
00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:27,359
Speaker 1: can't we just ask?

617
00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:29,800
Speaker 2: It is fair we should ask. I bet you they

618
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:31,920
Speaker 2: would not tell you though. I bet nothing's wrong.

619
00:27:32,000 --> 00:27:32,360
Speaker 1: Go away.

620
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:34,720
Speaker 2: That's the fifteen year old response. Mother in law is

621
00:27:34,760 --> 00:27:35,720
Speaker 2: just gonna cry and be.

622
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:38,960
Speaker 1: Like, oh did you thinking of you? Because she's a manipulator.

623
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:43,080
Speaker 2: I think if there's not physiological or psychological danger, this

624
00:27:43,200 --> 00:27:45,040
Speaker 2: is a golden rule of Alex.

625
00:27:45,080 --> 00:27:47,040
Speaker 1: I haven't made one. I'm making it right now. Oh,

626
00:27:47,160 --> 00:27:48,640
Speaker 1: we got the golden rule.

627
00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:53,639
Speaker 2: If there is not physiological or psychological danger, before you

628
00:27:53,720 --> 00:27:58,000
Speaker 2: make decisions to go no contact or low contact in

629
00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:02,919
Speaker 2: a lot of situations, should probably have a conversation before

630
00:28:02,960 --> 00:28:05,480
Speaker 2: you make that decision with big facts can't disagree with that.

631
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:08,080
Speaker 1: That's that's my golden rule. Can't I don't disagree with that.

632
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:11,160
Speaker 2: There's always nuance, but speak, that's my golden rule.

633
00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:13,760
Speaker 1: Speak to each other. That is the end of that story.

634
00:28:14,680 --> 00:28:17,119
Speaker 1: John here og host. We're gonna get back to these stories,

635
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:19,280
Speaker 1: but a quick free minute break from house from our sponsors.

636
00:28:20,160 --> 00:28:25,040
Speaker 1: I'm excluding my adopted nephew from our girls trip, but

637
00:28:25,200 --> 00:28:28,600
Speaker 1: my sister keeps insisting.

638
00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:31,560
Speaker 3: It's a girl's trip, it's for the girls. We're not invited.

639
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:34,000
Speaker 1: We can't go go trip for the girls? What tip

640
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:37,440
Speaker 1: for the boys? Sometimes that just be the way it do.

641
00:28:37,640 --> 00:28:42,440
Speaker 2: Throwaway I forty two female, have two nieces, Flow fourteen

642
00:28:42,520 --> 00:28:45,920
Speaker 2: female and Ivy eleven female, as well as a nephew,

643
00:28:46,040 --> 00:28:50,120
Speaker 2: Ryan ten male through my brother Tom forty six male,

644
00:28:50,240 --> 00:28:53,479
Speaker 2: and sister in law Kate forty five female. Flow and

645
00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:57,480
Speaker 2: Ivy are biologically theirs and they adopted Ryan two years

646
00:28:57,520 --> 00:29:01,240
Speaker 2: ago after fostering him for three years. Live locally to them.

647
00:29:01,360 --> 00:29:04,440
Speaker 2: We are super close usually and have my own daughter,

648
00:29:04,560 --> 00:29:08,280
Speaker 2: Ava twelve female, who my nieces are close to. By

649
00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:11,480
Speaker 2: the way, this comes from user and in Agony and

650
00:29:11,600 --> 00:29:15,120
Speaker 2: you could submit your stories on the r slash okay,

651
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:19,040
Speaker 2: storytime subreddem so. Before foster care, Ryan's life was awful

652
00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:22,680
Speaker 2: and he has some behavioral and developmental issues. He struggles

653
00:29:22,720 --> 00:29:26,040
Speaker 2: to sit through long things such as shows quietly, whether

654
00:29:26,120 --> 00:29:29,320
Speaker 2: it be in the theater or the girls plays and recitals,

655
00:29:29,400 --> 00:29:32,520
Speaker 2: so the girls rarely have both parents supporting them. His

656
00:29:32,600 --> 00:29:35,840
Speaker 2: behavior is sometimes pretty unpredictable, and he sometimes has pretty

657
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:38,640
Speaker 2: loud and physical meltdowns, so they have to be careful

658
00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:41,360
Speaker 2: where they take him, as such, whenever me or how

659
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:44,400
Speaker 2: you take Ava to the theater or other activities which

660
00:29:44,480 --> 00:29:48,000
Speaker 2: Ryan wouldn't like. We bring the girls along too. Sometimes

661
00:29:48,040 --> 00:29:50,600
Speaker 2: Tom and Kate pay for them. Sometimes we do. We

662
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:54,160
Speaker 2: have never brought Ryan out without his parents and sisters

663
00:29:54,280 --> 00:29:57,440
Speaker 2: because he has really different interests to the girls. I

664
00:29:57,480 --> 00:30:01,200
Speaker 2: don't feel confident handling his behavior and flow. In Ivy

665
00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:04,440
Speaker 2: have expressed that they really value the Ryan free time.

666
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:07,720
Speaker 2: I've made extra effort to be there since then. Ryan

667
00:30:07,920 --> 00:30:10,440
Speaker 2: is a great kid, but he needs a lot of attention,

668
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:13,280
Speaker 2: and my nieces need people who are one hundred percent

669
00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:16,080
Speaker 2: in their corner. Low Key, feeling kind of bad for

670
00:30:16,200 --> 00:30:16,880
Speaker 2: Ryan right now.

671
00:30:17,240 --> 00:30:19,720
Speaker 3: It's a it's a sign of favoritism here, A little

672
00:30:19,720 --> 00:30:20,240
Speaker 3: bit but.

673
00:30:22,360 --> 00:30:26,760
Speaker 2: Not okay, it's like he's got behavioral issues. So you know,

674
00:30:27,080 --> 00:30:29,120
Speaker 2: anyone who says that they don't pick favorites.

675
00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:30,240
Speaker 1: Is lying, let's be honest.

676
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:34,640
Speaker 2: Sorry, but it's all I feel like it's almost impossible

677
00:30:34,680 --> 00:30:39,080
Speaker 2: to realistically not have a favorite.

678
00:30:38,360 --> 00:30:39,560
Speaker 1: Out of you, like if you have like a bunch

679
00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:39,840
Speaker 1: of kids.

680
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:41,920
Speaker 3: I'm sorry when it all comes to when it comes

681
00:30:41,960 --> 00:30:44,200
Speaker 3: to kids or comes to parents. I mean, I know

682
00:30:44,200 --> 00:30:45,640
Speaker 3: a lot of people try to do fifty fifty, but

683
00:30:45,720 --> 00:30:49,440
Speaker 3: sometimes you're gonna have a favorite, sometimes not every single time.

684
00:30:49,480 --> 00:30:52,280
Speaker 2: But like, I don't think you should like outwardly act

685
00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:54,120
Speaker 2: on your favoritism, but like.

686
00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:57,480
Speaker 3: You because yeah, we're definitely well.

687
00:30:57,320 --> 00:31:00,440
Speaker 1: Whatever, Ryan's getting dunked on because he's adopted, I don't

688
00:31:00,520 --> 00:31:00,760
Speaker 1: like it.

689
00:31:01,760 --> 00:31:03,400
Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't like that. I don't like like a

690
00:31:03,440 --> 00:31:05,600
Speaker 3: little bit of like pushing Ryan to the side.

691
00:31:05,640 --> 00:31:06,080
Speaker 1: I get it.

692
00:31:06,240 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 3: Siblings can do that, but there also needs to be

693
00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:12,520
Speaker 3: some love here. I haven't heard anything positive from the

694
00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:14,240
Speaker 3: sisters with Ryan anyways.

695
00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:16,680
Speaker 2: I am taking the girls to a Christmas theme park

696
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:19,800
Speaker 2: in London on Friday. It's quite an expensive one, uh,

697
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:21,960
Speaker 2: UK readers, If you know, you know, and I have

698
00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:25,240
Speaker 2: the joy of footing the bill for all three. On Sunday,

699
00:31:25,280 --> 00:31:27,480
Speaker 2: I got a call from Kate asking if Ryan could

700
00:31:27,480 --> 00:31:30,480
Speaker 2: come with us on Friday. He'd seen adverts and heard

701
00:31:30,520 --> 00:31:32,560
Speaker 2: the girls talking about it and wants to go. She

702
00:31:32,680 --> 00:31:35,120
Speaker 2: offered to pay for whatever he did. I told Kate no,

703
00:31:35,640 --> 00:31:38,000
Speaker 2: as I didn't know what he was like in crowds.

704
00:31:38,080 --> 00:31:40,239
Speaker 2: She said he went two years ago and loved it,

705
00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:41,960
Speaker 2: and his sisters were there to help him if he

706
00:31:42,000 --> 00:31:44,560
Speaker 2: was struggling. I said that wasn't fair on them. I

707
00:31:44,600 --> 00:31:46,680
Speaker 2: booked it as a girl's trip and it's supposed to

708
00:31:46,680 --> 00:31:49,040
Speaker 2: be a treat and I don't want it getting cut short.

709
00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:51,920
Speaker 2: And I don't feel comfortable parentifying the girls. I know

710
00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:54,680
Speaker 2: Tom's taking Ryan to London next week, so I told

711
00:31:54,760 --> 00:31:57,360
Speaker 2: Kate to book tickets on that day, but by that

712
00:31:57,480 --> 00:32:01,240
Speaker 2: point she wasn't listening. She criticized me for insinuating siblings

713
00:32:01,280 --> 00:32:04,400
Speaker 2: caring for each other was parentifying, and accused me of

714
00:32:04,480 --> 00:32:08,320
Speaker 2: being ablest as Ryan can't help his conditions and shouldn't

715
00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:10,960
Speaker 2: be excluded, as well as being biased against the kid

716
00:32:10,960 --> 00:32:13,800
Speaker 2: I'm not related to. It got very fiery and ended

717
00:32:13,800 --> 00:32:16,280
Speaker 2: with me saying, read the room, it's a girl's day

718
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:17,440
Speaker 2: and her hanging up.

719
00:32:19,600 --> 00:32:22,640
Speaker 3: I don't know if this was planned out with like

720
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:24,680
Speaker 3: months in advance. It seems like a spur of the

721
00:32:24,680 --> 00:32:25,320
Speaker 3: moment kind of thing.

722
00:32:25,400 --> 00:32:28,560
Speaker 2: I feel like to call it the girl's day would

723
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:32,160
Speaker 2: also imply that the activities are only going to.

724
00:32:32,120 --> 00:32:34,320
Speaker 1: Be enjoyed by the girls. That's what I thought too.

725
00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:36,040
Speaker 3: I thought it'd be like a spot day or like

726
00:32:36,040 --> 00:32:38,280
Speaker 3: a girl's like camping trip, but you're going to a

727
00:32:38,320 --> 00:32:41,120
Speaker 3: theme park, a Christmas theme park.

728
00:32:41,160 --> 00:32:44,920
Speaker 2: And one that it's that Ryan has already enjoyed in

729
00:32:44,960 --> 00:32:45,320
Speaker 2: the past.

730
00:32:45,520 --> 00:32:48,520
Speaker 3: Yes, again, if this was playing, do we have like

731
00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:51,600
Speaker 3: a time like a time map here like where this

732
00:32:51,760 --> 00:32:53,040
Speaker 3: like it's I.

733
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:55,120
Speaker 1: Don't think we have a time map. But honestly, like

734
00:32:55,320 --> 00:32:55,960
Speaker 1: I think that.

735
00:32:56,000 --> 00:33:00,160
Speaker 2: Them might be a little rioting calling you out me too,

736
00:33:00,240 --> 00:33:04,240
Speaker 2: because it seems like, ope, he did this and then

737
00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:07,280
Speaker 2: said we're having a girl's trip, not hey, well, I

738
00:33:07,280 --> 00:33:10,360
Speaker 2: think she set up that, like the premise of the

739
00:33:10,440 --> 00:33:12,840
Speaker 2: girl's trip was already just like set up in that

740
00:33:13,440 --> 00:33:18,200
Speaker 2: the time that the girls spend just with her is

741
00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:20,640
Speaker 2: like they value it, so it's sort of like always

742
00:33:20,640 --> 00:33:21,720
Speaker 2: a girl's day.

743
00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:22,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, but that's not fair, but.

744
00:33:23,080 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 2: Right exactly, And at this point you're just being like

745
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:27,840
Speaker 2: I just like the kids who aren't difficult, you're showing

746
00:33:27,840 --> 00:33:31,280
Speaker 2: favorite Anyways, she went to the girls and said either

747
00:33:31,320 --> 00:33:33,760
Speaker 2: they ask me for Ryan to come, or they can't go.

748
00:33:33,960 --> 00:33:36,480
Speaker 2: Flow texted me begging to not let him come and

749
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:39,000
Speaker 2: asking if they can still join us, while Ivy is

750
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:41,160
Speaker 2: more torn up as she doesn't want her brother to

751
00:33:41,160 --> 00:33:43,040
Speaker 2: be left out, but also doesn't want to risk her

752
00:33:43,120 --> 00:33:46,840
Speaker 2: day being ruined. My mother, Tom, and sister have contacted

753
00:33:46,840 --> 00:33:50,120
Speaker 2: me saying I should bring Ryan as to not show

754
00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:53,160
Speaker 2: favorites and to be inclusive. Husband is on my side.

755
00:33:53,200 --> 00:33:57,280
Speaker 2: Am I the a hole? And there's an edit to answer, Tom, Kate,

756
00:33:57,360 --> 00:33:59,760
Speaker 2: and my husband are all working. The day of the trip,

757
00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:03,600
Speaker 2: took paid time off, and Kate and Tom had childcare arranged.

758
00:34:03,720 --> 00:34:05,640
Speaker 1: I do spend quality time with Ryan.

759
00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:08,440
Speaker 2: We live a fifteen minute walk away, so we go

760
00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:10,680
Speaker 2: to their house Off and me. Ryan and Tom, if

761
00:34:10,719 --> 00:34:13,160
Speaker 2: he's around, build a lot of legos as it's a

762
00:34:13,200 --> 00:34:15,160
Speaker 2: shared hobby and I get him a new set every

763
00:34:15,160 --> 00:34:17,400
Speaker 2: Birthday and Christmas. And it's a running joke as he

764
00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:19,840
Speaker 2: spends a lot of time guessing which one. I like

765
00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:22,560
Speaker 2: this quality time as it's accessible and his parents are

766
00:34:22,600 --> 00:34:25,160
Speaker 2: around I just booked days out around my daughter's interest,

767
00:34:25,200 --> 00:34:27,120
Speaker 2: which happened to be the exact opposite of his.

768
00:34:27,360 --> 00:34:29,160
Speaker 1: She's a really artsy, girly.

769
00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:32,239
Speaker 2: Girl who likes the theater, shopping museums, movie nights, and

770
00:34:32,280 --> 00:34:35,960
Speaker 2: slumber parties, while he's into legos, video games and anything

771
00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:36,760
Speaker 2: martial arts.

772
00:34:36,880 --> 00:34:38,120
Speaker 1: And we have an update.

773
00:34:37,920 --> 00:34:41,279
Speaker 3: Again, because you're dealing with three girls.

774
00:34:41,520 --> 00:34:43,400
Speaker 1: I'm gonna say, no, you're not the a hole, but

775
00:34:43,480 --> 00:34:47,719
Speaker 1: it's like you're veering your venturing into potential Ahle territory.

776
00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:51,120
Speaker 3: Or guess what, Ryan's gonna hold it accountable against you

777
00:34:51,160 --> 00:34:52,359
Speaker 3: because you didn't invite him.

778
00:34:52,600 --> 00:34:55,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that's probably not gonna make any behavior issues

779
00:34:55,640 --> 00:34:56,640
Speaker 2: he has better.

780
00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:59,920
Speaker 3: No, I feel like you have to let him know,

781
00:35:00,440 --> 00:35:02,600
Speaker 3: or like this has to be a conversation with Ryan

782
00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:05,120
Speaker 3: and the girls, like hey, this is a girl's trip.

783
00:35:05,440 --> 00:35:07,640
Speaker 3: We can make it up to you and go somewhere

784
00:35:07,719 --> 00:35:09,160
Speaker 3: and then make it up to you. I don't know,

785
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:13,759
Speaker 3: because you're just excluding him. And again, he is a child. Uh,

786
00:35:13,800 --> 00:35:18,040
Speaker 3: and when a child gets excluded there, it's gonna hurt

787
00:35:18,120 --> 00:35:18,359
Speaker 3: a lot.

788
00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:20,359
Speaker 2: Yeah, and he's probably already being excluded in a lot

789
00:35:20,360 --> 00:35:22,719
Speaker 2: of other areas from the sound of it. Just like

790
00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:25,280
Speaker 2: the sisters don't really at least one of the sisters

791
00:35:25,280 --> 00:35:27,399
Speaker 2: doesn't really care for Ryan, so.

792
00:35:28,320 --> 00:35:28,680
Speaker 3: I don't know.

793
00:35:28,719 --> 00:35:30,879
Speaker 2: At least the younger sister was like kind of like,

794
00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:32,759
Speaker 2: I don't want to exclude him, but also I don't

795
00:35:32,760 --> 00:35:37,000
Speaker 2: want him to ruin our day. But like, you gotta

796
00:35:37,120 --> 00:35:39,520
Speaker 2: I don't know, you gotta put him out there so

797
00:35:39,560 --> 00:35:43,520
Speaker 2: that he can take you know, actions and change.

798
00:35:43,800 --> 00:35:47,680
Speaker 1: Like I don't know, it just seems unfair. Here's the update. Well,

799
00:35:47,719 --> 00:35:49,680
Speaker 1: that blew up. Thank you to everyone who commented.

800
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,880
Speaker 2: Currently on a break, so I'm gonna quickly update crap

801
00:35:52,880 --> 00:35:55,760
Speaker 2: has hit the fan. Basically, I removed the previous update

802
00:35:55,800 --> 00:35:58,320
Speaker 2: as I was too sleep deprived to do the title properly.

803
00:35:58,440 --> 00:36:01,160
Speaker 2: Your comments made me realize that I am right to

804
00:36:01,280 --> 00:36:04,759
Speaker 2: not bring Ryan. It's not safe with just me, and

805
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,879
Speaker 2: especially after reading comments from people who have special needs

806
00:36:07,920 --> 00:36:11,120
Speaker 2: children slash siblings who have had to pull all children

807
00:36:11,160 --> 00:36:13,719
Speaker 2: out of days out as there hasn't.

808
00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:15,520
Speaker 1: Been enough adults. I'm not doing that. That was a

809
00:36:15,520 --> 00:36:18,120
Speaker 1: funny sentence, but honestly that also I didn't think about

810
00:36:18,120 --> 00:36:20,279
Speaker 1: that where it's like a safety issue where he needs

811
00:36:20,280 --> 00:36:24,160
Speaker 1: full attention, right, because it's like that's also true. If

812
00:36:24,239 --> 00:36:26,399
Speaker 1: she's out with the girls and then Ryan like runs off,

813
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:29,920
Speaker 1: it's game over. Now you're in a position where it's like,

814
00:36:29,960 --> 00:36:31,360
Speaker 1: all right, well, what am I I'm gonna have to

815
00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:33,480
Speaker 1: carry these two other kids around with me while I

816
00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:36,920
Speaker 1: look for because it's her two Oh that's right, the

817
00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:37,640
Speaker 1: three girls.

818
00:36:37,719 --> 00:36:41,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that probably is a little bit too much.

819
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:42,840
Speaker 1: I don't know.

820
00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:45,840
Speaker 3: I still think this needs to be having a conversation

821
00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:49,560
Speaker 3: with Ryan because once this gets to him, he's going

822
00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:52,839
Speaker 3: to be upset. Yeah, but that does make sense. That's

823
00:36:52,840 --> 00:36:53,680
Speaker 3: a that's a very good point.

824
00:36:53,719 --> 00:36:56,920
Speaker 2: The girls also deserve to do the things that they want.

825
00:36:57,239 --> 00:36:59,480
Speaker 2: I will also make a conscious effort to do stuff

826
00:36:59,520 --> 00:37:01,560
Speaker 2: with Ryan. I'm going to suggest to Tom that me

827
00:37:01,640 --> 00:37:04,000
Speaker 2: and him take him to Lego Land when it reopens

828
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:07,120
Speaker 2: in the spring. The new players are my husband Ben

829
00:37:07,200 --> 00:37:10,799
Speaker 2: forty three male, and Tom's sister Mia forty female, and

830
00:37:10,840 --> 00:37:13,359
Speaker 2: my mom seventy female, who we will just calm out.

831
00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:15,440
Speaker 2: Because of the character limit, I couldn't elaborate on a

832
00:37:15,480 --> 00:37:18,000
Speaker 2: few things. I do spend quality time with Ryan. I

833
00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:20,360
Speaker 2: just don't take him on days out. We both love legos,

834
00:37:20,360 --> 00:37:22,200
Speaker 2: which Ama doesn't, so it's great to have someone to

835
00:37:22,239 --> 00:37:24,360
Speaker 2: bond with over that, and as we live a fifteen

836
00:37:24,360 --> 00:37:26,479
Speaker 2: minute walk away, we see each other often. It's usually

837
00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:28,879
Speaker 2: at their house and it's easier shepherding one kid rather

838
00:37:28,960 --> 00:37:29,520
Speaker 2: than three.

839
00:37:29,600 --> 00:37:31,440
Speaker 1: Sometimes he'll pick to hang.

840
00:37:31,200 --> 00:37:33,480
Speaker 2: With the girls, where they will play in activity they

841
00:37:33,520 --> 00:37:35,959
Speaker 2: all enjoy, like Mario Kart, but most of the time

842
00:37:36,040 --> 00:37:37,799
Speaker 2: he'll pick to hang with me. He's one of those

843
00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:41,160
Speaker 2: kids who thrives hanging out with adults rather than other children,

844
00:37:41,239 --> 00:37:43,600
Speaker 2: which is why his parents endorse the girl's day as

845
00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:45,959
Speaker 2: it meant they get two to one time with him.

846
00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:48,920
Speaker 2: He gets on with his sisters as they are both

847
00:37:48,960 --> 00:37:51,400
Speaker 2: super camm and kind girls, but most of his meltdowns

848
00:37:51,400 --> 00:37:54,920
Speaker 2: arise from confrontation with other kids or his sisters wanting

849
00:37:54,960 --> 00:37:57,400
Speaker 2: to do something that he doesn't like. Some examples include

850
00:37:57,440 --> 00:37:59,799
Speaker 2: Flow playing music in her room or them picking a

851
00:37:59,800 --> 00:38:02,239
Speaker 2: movie he doesn't want. Obviously, when they do a vote,

852
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:04,640
Speaker 2: the girls pick usually wins as there's two of them,

853
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:06,480
Speaker 2: and he gets stressed out a lot by other kids

854
00:38:06,480 --> 00:38:08,719
Speaker 2: at school. Kate and Tom encouraged the girls to be

855
00:38:08,760 --> 00:38:10,839
Speaker 2: empathetic and let him have his way, but I think

856
00:38:10,880 --> 00:38:13,360
Speaker 2: this means the girls sometimes lose out. He's got some

857
00:38:13,480 --> 00:38:16,120
Speaker 2: friends at school who he has frequent play dates with,

858
00:38:16,360 --> 00:38:18,560
Speaker 2: especially when the girls are out of the house, and

859
00:38:18,640 --> 00:38:20,960
Speaker 2: he's friends with me as two sons who are ten

860
00:38:20,960 --> 00:38:23,879
Speaker 2: and eight, and sometimes gets invites to go laser tag

861
00:38:23,920 --> 00:38:26,399
Speaker 2: with them, but they live slightly farther away and as

862
00:38:26,440 --> 00:38:29,239
Speaker 2: it's on weekends, Tom or Kate are always there as

863
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:31,720
Speaker 2: they have to take him. Back to the story, Ben,

864
00:38:32,080 --> 00:38:34,840
Speaker 2: my husband walked Ava to school today and Flow and

865
00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:36,840
Speaker 2: Ivy go to the same school. In the UK, the

866
00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:39,320
Speaker 2: first year secondary school is when the kids are eleven

867
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:41,719
Speaker 2: or twelve, so Ryan is at primary school still joining

868
00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:43,759
Speaker 2: the girls. In next September, Flow was waiting by the

869
00:38:43,800 --> 00:38:46,520
Speaker 2: gates the girls walk themselves and asked to talk with

870
00:38:46,600 --> 00:38:47,799
Speaker 2: him after Ava went in.

871
00:38:47,960 --> 00:38:51,520
Speaker 1: She basically said that she loves her brother, but really.

872
00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:54,520
Speaker 2: Values having days out with me, Tom and Ava because

873
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:57,279
Speaker 2: it's calmer. And when they went to Winter Wonderland two

874
00:38:57,360 --> 00:39:00,279
Speaker 2: years ago, he was chill for about four hours, but

875
00:39:00,280 --> 00:39:02,880
Speaker 2: they ended up leaving earlier than planned because he was

876
00:39:02,880 --> 00:39:05,759
Speaker 2: starting to get cranky with all the cues and they

877
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:08,719
Speaker 2: didn't want to risk any meltdowns there. As they started

878
00:39:08,840 --> 00:39:11,120
Speaker 2: with the rides that he wanted, they had only done

879
00:39:11,200 --> 00:39:13,400
Speaker 2: one or two that the girls wanted and didn't do

880
00:39:13,440 --> 00:39:16,040
Speaker 2: the ice skating, which is what she really wanted to do.

881
00:39:16,160 --> 00:39:19,000
Speaker 2: She also mentioned when the family went to a restaurant recently,

882
00:39:19,120 --> 00:39:21,239
Speaker 2: Ryan through a fit as the food was taking too

883
00:39:21,280 --> 00:39:23,640
Speaker 2: long and he was hungry. Tom took him home and

884
00:39:23,719 --> 00:39:25,640
Speaker 2: while the girls were trying to chat to Kate, she

885
00:39:25,760 --> 00:39:28,160
Speaker 2: was too busy on her phone trying to message Tom

886
00:39:28,200 --> 00:39:30,280
Speaker 2: to see if Ryan was okay. I also have noticed

887
00:39:30,280 --> 00:39:32,520
Speaker 2: that the girls are at my house a lot lately.

888
00:39:32,560 --> 00:39:35,120
Speaker 2: As they're responsible for walking themselves home. They'll just go

889
00:39:35,200 --> 00:39:38,120
Speaker 2: to mind to do homework as it's empty otherwise until

890
00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:40,800
Speaker 2: I get home at five point thirty. Ivy and Ava

891
00:39:40,880 --> 00:39:43,440
Speaker 2: are in the same class, so they do homework together.

892
00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:46,120
Speaker 2: Flow will often chat a lot to me and Ben,

893
00:39:46,239 --> 00:39:49,239
Speaker 2: often about gossip, what happened at school, YadA, YadA. I

894
00:39:49,280 --> 00:39:50,960
Speaker 2: thought nothing of it, but now I wonder if she

895
00:39:51,040 --> 00:39:53,799
Speaker 2: even has those chats with her parents. Where Flow and

896
00:39:53,840 --> 00:39:57,200
Speaker 2: Ava are both pretty headstrong and confident, Ivy is sensitive,

897
00:39:57,280 --> 00:39:59,600
Speaker 2: and I think her mom saying she's excluding her brother,

898
00:39:59,640 --> 00:40:01,719
Speaker 2: really go to her. Ben relayed this to me and

899
00:40:01,800 --> 00:40:04,200
Speaker 2: I contacted Tom, telling him we needed to meet. He

900
00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:06,680
Speaker 2: works long hours, but agreed to swing by my place

901
00:40:06,719 --> 00:40:08,319
Speaker 2: after work to hash the issues out.

902
00:40:08,360 --> 00:40:11,360
Speaker 1: While Kate is lovely, she thinks with her heart.

903
00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:14,320
Speaker 2: While I think Tom is more level headed at the moment,

904
00:40:14,440 --> 00:40:16,759
Speaker 2: he's on the bring Ryan team, but I think when

905
00:40:16,760 --> 00:40:19,239
Speaker 2: I lay out why that is not possible, like the

906
00:40:19,320 --> 00:40:21,279
Speaker 2: lack of other adults and the girl's feelings and the

907
00:40:21,360 --> 00:40:23,520
Speaker 2: length of time we're planning on staying, I'm hoping he

908
00:40:23,560 --> 00:40:26,080
Speaker 2: sees the light. This morning, I also got texts from

909
00:40:26,080 --> 00:40:28,839
Speaker 2: my mom and Mia, both on Kate's side. My mom

910
00:40:28,960 --> 00:40:31,879
Speaker 2: has had a past of kind of favoring her son

911
00:40:32,000 --> 00:40:34,360
Speaker 2: over her daughters, and she was saying that Tom was

912
00:40:34,600 --> 00:40:37,640
Speaker 2: valiant adopting Ryan, and it was my duty as the

913
00:40:37,680 --> 00:40:39,960
Speaker 2: local family member to make sure that he was accepted

914
00:40:40,000 --> 00:40:42,720
Speaker 2: as much as possible. To those who said send her along,

915
00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:46,160
Speaker 2: I wish, but also found out she and my dad

916
00:40:46,200 --> 00:40:48,640
Speaker 2: booked a last minute flight to get some winter sun

917
00:40:48,719 --> 00:40:51,279
Speaker 2: for a few days. Mia was more level headed but

918
00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:53,840
Speaker 2: still on their side, saying I needed to keep the

919
00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:57,480
Speaker 2: peace as we don't want a scrap just before Christmas.

920
00:40:57,520 --> 00:41:00,319
Speaker 2: But when I mentioned she organized things without the girl roles,

921
00:41:00,440 --> 00:41:02,640
Speaker 2: she got quiet. I also found out she is also

922
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:05,680
Speaker 2: the designated Ryan babysitter for that day, so I think

923
00:41:05,719 --> 00:41:07,560
Speaker 2: she might be trying to pawn him off on me

924
00:41:07,760 --> 00:41:09,480
Speaker 2: so she doesn't have to come over. She lives a

925
00:41:09,480 --> 00:41:11,879
Speaker 2: forty five minute drive away, and her and her kids

926
00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:14,480
Speaker 2: are driving down to hang with Ryan in his house

927
00:41:14,640 --> 00:41:16,880
Speaker 2: and in the local area, as Kate works in our

928
00:41:16,920 --> 00:41:19,560
Speaker 2: town so is close by in case there's an emergency.

929
00:41:19,600 --> 00:41:22,040
Speaker 2: I was thinking about asking my sister if her and

930
00:41:22,080 --> 00:41:24,480
Speaker 2: the boys wanted to come, but as her boys are younger,

931
00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:27,160
Speaker 2: I would be scared of the girls being overshadowed, and

932
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:29,440
Speaker 2: I'm not sure we can manage six kids between the

933
00:41:29,440 --> 00:41:32,000
Speaker 2: two of us at Winter Wonderland. Her youngest is also

934
00:41:32,120 --> 00:41:34,040
Speaker 2: not the height requirement for a lot of the rides

935
00:41:34,080 --> 00:41:36,120
Speaker 2: that the girls want to do, as he's pretty short

936
00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:38,719
Speaker 2: for his age. It also takes away from the girl's day.

937
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:41,160
Speaker 2: They've really talked a lot about it, and I don't

938
00:41:41,160 --> 00:41:44,120
Speaker 2: want them feeling awkward about doing something because Ryan doesn't

939
00:41:44,160 --> 00:41:44,480
Speaker 2: want to.

940
00:41:44,640 --> 00:41:47,000
Speaker 3: Okay, So this entire story had been like back and forth,

941
00:41:47,040 --> 00:41:53,520
Speaker 3: back and forth. I'm siding with Opie now, yeah, yeah.

942
00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:55,719
Speaker 3: One second I was like, ah, Opie, I don't think

943
00:41:55,719 --> 00:41:58,880
Speaker 3: I like where you're coming from. Now, with everything in

944
00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:01,359
Speaker 3: all the contexts that we have as right now, I

945
00:42:01,480 --> 00:42:06,160
Speaker 3: understand and that makes sense. I think again, this needs

946
00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:09,360
Speaker 3: to be talk to you about with Ryan. But I

947
00:42:09,400 --> 00:42:12,440
Speaker 3: think the girl's day is naturally fine. But I also

948
00:42:12,560 --> 00:42:17,239
Speaker 3: think some therapy with the kids, especially the girls, and

949
00:42:17,239 --> 00:42:20,160
Speaker 3: how it seems like they're getting not resentful as the word,

950
00:42:20,840 --> 00:42:23,640
Speaker 3: but they're kind of distancing themselves from the family and

951
00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:24,400
Speaker 3: from Ryan.

952
00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:27,319
Speaker 1: I think some group counseling would do them good.

953
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:30,240
Speaker 3: Yes, I think such child counseling or some child therapy

954
00:42:30,360 --> 00:42:32,560
Speaker 3: or something like that, or some family counseling to get,

955
00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:34,800
Speaker 3: you know, get it all out there and talk about

956
00:42:35,400 --> 00:42:37,759
Speaker 3: where we go, especially how we navigate this, because if

957
00:42:37,760 --> 00:42:40,080
Speaker 3: it's it's all bottled up it's to get it's gonna

958
00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:42,520
Speaker 3: turn out ugly and there should be a lot more resentment,

959
00:42:42,560 --> 00:42:46,719
Speaker 3: which we don't want. So I get it, girl, you're

960
00:42:46,760 --> 00:42:49,960
Speaker 3: allowed to, especially with kids. I don't like the favoritism,

961
00:42:49,960 --> 00:42:52,960
Speaker 3: but you're allowed to. Like, Okay, you get your day, girls,

962
00:42:53,360 --> 00:42:56,160
Speaker 3: and then Ryan and the boys will get there go well.

963
00:42:56,000 --> 00:42:59,000
Speaker 2: And it's like, let's be like, honest, he's got behavioral issues,

964
00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:03,440
Speaker 2: he's got special needs. It's it's harder to look after

965
00:43:03,560 --> 00:43:04,439
Speaker 2: and take care of Ryan.

966
00:43:04,520 --> 00:43:06,759
Speaker 3: Yeah, especially if there's only especially if she should be op.

967
00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:10,040
Speaker 3: That makes sense. If there was another adult that can

968
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:13,520
Speaker 3: go along, great and they can look after Ryan. But

969
00:43:13,840 --> 00:43:17,840
Speaker 3: I think in this scenario, a girl's trip is fine.

970
00:43:18,239 --> 00:43:20,839
Speaker 3: This is fine. And then you say to Ryan, Hey,

971
00:43:21,360 --> 00:43:23,880
Speaker 3: this is just gonna be a girl's trip. I know

972
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:26,440
Speaker 3: that you would want to go. We'll go to Lego

973
00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:29,239
Speaker 3: Land and then the girls don't have to go. Make

974
00:43:29,280 --> 00:43:30,920
Speaker 3: it your day. And if you want to bite any

975
00:43:30,920 --> 00:43:34,960
Speaker 3: of your friends or your cousins or whoever, whatever you want, Ryan,

976
00:43:35,600 --> 00:43:38,600
Speaker 3: So that's fair because guess what Lego Land. I mean,

977
00:43:38,640 --> 00:43:40,240
Speaker 3: it's a Christmas thing and everyone loves Christmas.

978
00:43:40,280 --> 00:43:41,920
Speaker 1: I agree, I fully agree.

979
00:43:42,160 --> 00:43:44,600
Speaker 2: So maybe we can come again next year when we

980
00:43:44,719 --> 00:43:48,439
Speaker 2: have all six parents available, so more flexibility. But for now,

981
00:43:48,560 --> 00:43:51,040
Speaker 2: I think it's safest going with the girls only. I

982
00:43:51,080 --> 00:43:54,120
Speaker 2: am slightly concerned that with the way Kate is behaving,

983
00:43:54,160 --> 00:43:56,719
Speaker 2: she might tell me not to come and drop all

984
00:43:56,800 --> 00:43:59,719
Speaker 2: three at mine on Friday. But Ben, who works from home,

985
00:44:00,200 --> 00:44:03,040
Speaker 2: he'll babysit if he needs to. Ryan really likes him,

986
00:44:03,280 --> 00:44:05,760
Speaker 2: and I think he would prefer playing on Ben's PS

987
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:06,839
Speaker 2: five to the theme park.

988
00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:08,080
Speaker 1: Anyways, I don't want it.

989
00:44:08,040 --> 00:44:09,759
Speaker 2: To come to that, and it's cruel to tell the

990
00:44:09,840 --> 00:44:11,680
Speaker 2: kid he can't come when he's at my door.

991
00:44:11,960 --> 00:44:13,719
Speaker 1: But I wouldn't know what else to do.

992
00:44:14,239 --> 00:44:16,040
Speaker 2: By the way, if you don't know what else to do,

993
00:44:16,120 --> 00:44:18,800
Speaker 2: I've got a suggestion for you. You can go find

994
00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:23,440
Speaker 2: full episodes with stories like this on Spotify and Apple

995
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:27,040
Speaker 2: podcasts and whenever wherever you get your podcasts. You can

996
00:44:27,200 --> 00:44:30,680
Speaker 2: listen to them to your heart's content. All you need

997
00:44:30,719 --> 00:44:33,319
Speaker 2: to do is search up Okay story time, and there

998
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:37,120
Speaker 2: they are. It's very simple, super simple. I think we

999
00:44:37,239 --> 00:44:39,759
Speaker 2: just kind of laid out exactly how we feel before

1000
00:44:39,800 --> 00:44:40,560
Speaker 2: we finish the story.

1001
00:44:40,560 --> 00:44:42,520
Speaker 3: I think I think would be kind of cleared up

1002
00:44:42,520 --> 00:44:44,319
Speaker 3: there too, like oh yeah, you can hang out with

1003
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:47,920
Speaker 3: the boys PS five. Yeah, fun time. It'll be distracted

1004
00:44:48,239 --> 00:44:49,040
Speaker 3: and that's fine.

1005
00:44:49,120 --> 00:44:50,200
Speaker 1: Make make I.

1006
00:44:50,120 --> 00:44:52,640
Speaker 3: Think what you need to enforce as well as like, Okay,

1007
00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:55,200
Speaker 3: we're gonna have the girls day, but please please, like

1008
00:44:55,640 --> 00:44:58,200
Speaker 3: I can chip in if you need anything to have

1009
00:44:58,800 --> 00:45:01,520
Speaker 3: make sure Ben has a good date, Like Ben can

1010
00:45:01,520 --> 00:45:04,200
Speaker 3: play at the PS five, order some pizza or what

1011
00:45:04,239 --> 00:45:07,320
Speaker 3: have you want? My favorite food to make him feel special.

1012
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:10,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like it's like you're you're still having a nice time,

1013
00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:13,640
Speaker 1: nice day because guess what she does get fomo sucks.

1014
00:45:13,760 --> 00:45:14,600
Speaker 1: No one likes fomo.

1015
00:45:14,680 --> 00:45:15,960
Speaker 3: Fear of missing out sucks.

1016
00:45:16,440 --> 00:45:19,120
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it really and it sounds like Ryan doesn't

1017
00:45:19,120 --> 00:45:21,600
Speaker 2: handle it very well well at all, just because of.

1018
00:45:22,920 --> 00:45:24,640
Speaker 1: His past trauma and all that stuff.

1019
00:45:24,640 --> 00:45:25,680
Speaker 3: And then he's also just a.

1020
00:45:25,680 --> 00:45:28,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, therapist, he needs therapy and counseling. I think I

1021
00:45:29,000 --> 00:45:31,200
Speaker 1: think as a unit, as the family, that would be

1022
00:45:31,440 --> 00:45:32,360
Speaker 1: that would do well.

1023
00:45:32,320 --> 00:45:34,840
Speaker 3: For help the girls. It would help the relationship better

1024
00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:37,279
Speaker 3: with Ryan. And again when when the parents were like, oh,

1025
00:45:37,360 --> 00:45:39,680
Speaker 3: be empathetic, like you can just like do this, do this,

1026
00:45:39,920 --> 00:45:41,560
Speaker 3: It'll be good for you. Guys like no, I think

1027
00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:43,560
Speaker 3: you need to talk to everyone so everyone is on

1028
00:45:43,600 --> 00:45:46,480
Speaker 3: the same, same team and same you know, mindset.

1029
00:45:46,520 --> 00:45:47,880
Speaker 1: All right, let's finish this story.

1030
00:45:48,080 --> 00:45:50,640
Speaker 2: I am pretty nervous about how my brother will react,

1031
00:45:50,840 --> 00:45:54,279
Speaker 2: especially to Flow talking to Ben, as I really don't

1032
00:45:54,280 --> 00:45:56,239
Speaker 2: want to fight or her to get in trouble. I'll

1033
00:45:56,280 --> 00:45:58,239
Speaker 2: mention what she said, but not anything where I can

1034
00:45:58,280 --> 00:46:00,440
Speaker 2: see it starting a fight. Ben told her to speak

1035
00:46:00,440 --> 00:46:02,680
Speaker 2: to her parents too, so that might be happening, but

1036
00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:05,239
Speaker 2: I think it would just be her as Ivy is

1037
00:46:05,320 --> 00:46:07,720
Speaker 2: very timid and doesn't want to make her parents sad.

1038
00:46:07,800 --> 00:46:09,600
Speaker 2: I don't want to be cut off from my nieces

1039
00:46:09,640 --> 00:46:11,680
Speaker 2: as I love them a lot and know they love

1040
00:46:11,719 --> 00:46:14,640
Speaker 2: their cousins. So I really want to resolve this, and

1041
00:46:14,719 --> 00:46:17,080
Speaker 2: the advice would be appreciated, and we have some top

1042
00:46:17,120 --> 00:46:20,680
Speaker 2: comments Number one, it sounds genuinely like everyone really loves

1043
00:46:20,680 --> 00:46:23,080
Speaker 2: each other, but just because there's that love, it doesn't

1044
00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:25,799
Speaker 2: mean that communication will always be easy. It'd be great

1045
00:46:25,840 --> 00:46:27,840
Speaker 2: if the grown ups had a family meeting without the

1046
00:46:27,920 --> 00:46:30,279
Speaker 2: kids to make plans for the upcoming year, where there's

1047
00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:34,160
Speaker 2: equal all family time and equal individual small units time,

1048
00:46:34,239 --> 00:46:36,760
Speaker 2: so that kids get their own special attention and also

1049
00:46:36,880 --> 00:46:40,279
Speaker 2: get time together. Edit to add this current situation is

1050
00:46:40,280 --> 00:46:43,200
Speaker 2: of course really sticky, but it's only sticky because everyone

1051
00:46:43,239 --> 00:46:45,879
Speaker 2: loves each other and folks want to have their own

1052
00:46:45,880 --> 00:46:48,319
Speaker 2: special time. If you can approach the conversation that way,

1053
00:46:48,400 --> 00:46:52,320
Speaker 2: with understanding and excitement to make different plans, special plans

1054
00:46:52,320 --> 00:46:55,200
Speaker 2: with Ryan in the near future with your sister, hopefully

1055
00:46:55,239 --> 00:46:57,799
Speaker 2: it'll go easier. It's not that anyone wants to leave

1056
00:46:57,840 --> 00:47:00,600
Speaker 2: anyone out. It's that sometimes it's just great and fun

1057
00:47:00,640 --> 00:47:03,800
Speaker 2: to have smaller units. Commenter two. The parents and family

1058
00:47:03,880 --> 00:47:06,000
Speaker 2: involved are massive a holes.

1059
00:47:06,160 --> 00:47:06,560
Speaker 1: Ooh.

1060
00:47:06,719 --> 00:47:08,680
Speaker 2: Ryan is going to be a monster in the coming

1061
00:47:08,760 --> 00:47:12,480
Speaker 2: years because everyone keeps placating him instead of actually parenting him.

1062
00:47:12,560 --> 00:47:14,719
Speaker 2: The fact that Mia is trying to pawn him off

1063
00:47:14,719 --> 00:47:17,880
Speaker 2: and the grandparents are all off all of a sudden

1064
00:47:18,120 --> 00:47:20,799
Speaker 2: going on a mini cation proves that they don't want

1065
00:47:20,800 --> 00:47:23,640
Speaker 2: to deal with him, but rather help him understand that

1066
00:47:23,760 --> 00:47:26,560
Speaker 2: he can always go, that it's okay to miss out.

1067
00:47:26,640 --> 00:47:29,320
Speaker 2: They are teaching him that if he winds and screams

1068
00:47:29,360 --> 00:47:31,600
Speaker 2: a lot, he'll eventually get his way. Then the poor

1069
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:34,800
Speaker 2: daughter can even spend time with their parents without tantrums

1070
00:47:34,800 --> 00:47:38,280
Speaker 2: and chaos, and that's simply not fair. Unfortunately, OPI can't

1071
00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:41,040
Speaker 2: just take the girls and just go without being arrested

1072
00:47:41,080 --> 00:47:43,920
Speaker 2: and charged. Just stay as much as you can in

1073
00:47:43,960 --> 00:47:46,560
Speaker 2: their lives until they both leave for college. Show them

1074
00:47:46,600 --> 00:47:49,319
Speaker 2: that you, hubby and cousin are with them no matter

1075
00:47:49,360 --> 00:47:52,719
Speaker 2: what happens after this display of entitlement, and that is

1076
00:47:52,760 --> 00:47:53,640
Speaker 2: the end of the story.

1077
00:47:54,719 --> 00:47:57,880
Speaker 3: My wedding was almost ruined by my narcissistic family, so

1078
00:47:57,960 --> 00:48:00,160
Speaker 3: we stopped inviting them to parties.

1079
00:48:00,480 --> 00:48:04,239
Speaker 1: Who that was a close one. They almost ruined.

1080
00:48:03,960 --> 00:48:07,239
Speaker 3: Your wedding party Rockers no longer in the.

1081
00:48:07,360 --> 00:48:11,960
Speaker 1: House to night party nights. Hey.

1082
00:48:12,600 --> 00:48:15,960
Speaker 3: My husband, thirty three male, and I twenty seven female,

1083
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:18,560
Speaker 3: got married in twenty nineteen. I had had my wedding

1084
00:48:18,600 --> 00:48:21,760
Speaker 3: planned in my mind and through pinterest boards since high school,

1085
00:48:21,760 --> 00:48:23,920
Speaker 3: and at the ripe age of twenty one, I knew

1086
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:26,319
Speaker 3: what I wanted. The planning was simple and in the

1087
00:48:26,400 --> 00:48:29,400
Speaker 3: end we only spent about ten thousand Canadian dollars for

1088
00:48:29,480 --> 00:48:32,160
Speaker 3: our small town one hundred and twenty person. Wedding colors

1089
00:48:32,160 --> 00:48:35,479
Speaker 3: were our favorite colors, red and that Tiffany Teal.

1090
00:48:35,680 --> 00:48:36,399
Speaker 1: By the way, this.

1091
00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:39,120
Speaker 3: Comes from user see you Tune ninety seven and you

1092
00:48:39,160 --> 00:48:42,080
Speaker 3: can submit your stories at r slash ok story time.

1093
00:48:43,160 --> 00:48:46,080
Speaker 3: So we had lots of family help. Mother in law

1094
00:48:46,120 --> 00:48:49,080
Speaker 3: and father in law covered catering. Stepdad covered fifty percent

1095
00:48:49,120 --> 00:48:52,000
Speaker 3: of the venue. Mother bought the gown, father covered chair rentals,

1096
00:48:52,000 --> 00:48:54,960
Speaker 3: and grandma bought a cupcake display. We were fortunate enough

1097
00:48:55,000 --> 00:48:56,400
Speaker 3: to have a family friend who used to be a

1098
00:48:56,400 --> 00:48:59,400
Speaker 3: professional party and wedding planner do our wedding flowers and

1099
00:48:59,480 --> 00:49:02,840
Speaker 3: decoration for the ceremony as a wedding present or a context.

1100
00:49:02,880 --> 00:49:05,920
Speaker 3: On my family side, I was the first granddaughter and

1101
00:49:06,000 --> 00:49:08,840
Speaker 3: the first one to actually get married besides my grandma,

1102
00:49:09,080 --> 00:49:11,719
Speaker 3: who was on her second marriage. As planning was underway,

1103
00:49:11,840 --> 00:49:15,160
Speaker 3: there was invite drama for both sides of the family. However,

1104
00:49:15,440 --> 00:49:20,040
Speaker 3: my husband's side was small potatoes. My grandma has textbook

1105
00:49:20,120 --> 00:49:23,880
Speaker 3: narcissism and buzzism. She's the kind that when she starts drinking,

1106
00:49:23,960 --> 00:49:27,360
Speaker 3: she gives the worst unwarranted advice. She had an issue

1107
00:49:27,400 --> 00:49:30,560
Speaker 3: that I wasn't wanting to invite all three of her sisters. Now,

1108
00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:33,480
Speaker 3: don't get me wrong, they are lovely people, but I

1109
00:49:33,600 --> 00:49:36,000
Speaker 3: just wanted close family and friends, and I never really

1110
00:49:36,000 --> 00:49:38,839
Speaker 3: felt close to my great aunts. Another person I really

1111
00:49:38,880 --> 00:49:41,720
Speaker 3: don't want to invite was my maternal uncle, who's also

1112
00:49:41,760 --> 00:49:45,480
Speaker 3: a narcissist and uses substances. Begrudgingly, from pressure from my

1113
00:49:45,520 --> 00:49:48,640
Speaker 3: mom and grandma, we agree to invite him, despite going

1114
00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:51,680
Speaker 3: against our better judgment. Some backstory from my grandma. She

1115
00:49:51,680 --> 00:49:53,719
Speaker 3: grew up in a very old fashioned way where boys

1116
00:49:53,719 --> 00:49:57,239
Speaker 3: were always considered priority and favored. Growing up, I never

1117
00:49:57,280 --> 00:50:01,000
Speaker 3: felt that strained, possibly because I was the first grand However,

1118
00:50:01,200 --> 00:50:04,000
Speaker 3: growing up, my mom felt that between her and her brother,

1119
00:50:04,160 --> 00:50:07,440
Speaker 3: her brother was always babied and was always given everything

1120
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:09,719
Speaker 3: he wanted. And my mom was always expected to do

1121
00:50:09,760 --> 00:50:12,600
Speaker 3: the chores and the housework. Grandma has always been super

1122
00:50:12,880 --> 00:50:17,200
Speaker 3: hypercritical of my mom, always giving unwanted advice you should xyz,

1123
00:50:17,920 --> 00:50:22,160
Speaker 3: especially when she drank. She always had a grandiose idea

1124
00:50:22,320 --> 00:50:24,600
Speaker 3: of her life, always tried to have the best house,

1125
00:50:24,760 --> 00:50:28,000
Speaker 3: the best car, painting herself in the most prestigious light. However,

1126
00:50:28,120 --> 00:50:30,600
Speaker 3: her and my grandpa are unlikely to be able to

1127
00:50:30,680 --> 00:50:33,560
Speaker 3: retire unless they sell their house at seventy five, a

1128
00:50:33,600 --> 00:50:36,760
Speaker 3: house currently for sale that is extremely overpriced. The invite

1129
00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:39,920
Speaker 3: drama definitely put a stain on the relationship between my

1130
00:50:40,000 --> 00:50:43,360
Speaker 3: grandma and myself, so much so that the real drama began.

1131
00:50:43,640 --> 00:50:46,080
Speaker 3: My wedding was in August of twenty nineteen, and in

1132
00:50:46,160 --> 00:50:48,840
Speaker 3: May twenty nineteen, my grandmother announced that she would be

1133
00:50:48,920 --> 00:50:52,719
Speaker 3: doing a vowurnule for her twenty sixth wedding anniversary, to

1134
00:50:52,880 --> 00:50:56,000
Speaker 3: take place hmmm, two weeks before my wedding.

1135
00:50:56,120 --> 00:51:01,319
Speaker 2: Oh wow, that's not going to cause any problem.

1136
00:51:01,360 --> 00:51:03,759
Speaker 3: Grandma's just seeing it as a you know, everyone's gonna

1137
00:51:03,800 --> 00:51:06,440
Speaker 3: be there, so might as well just do it.

1138
00:51:06,719 --> 00:51:08,799
Speaker 2: Yeah, everyone's gonna be there for your day, so I

1139
00:51:08,840 --> 00:51:10,759
Speaker 2: figured that might as well make it my day two

1140
00:51:10,760 --> 00:51:11,480
Speaker 2: weeks earlier.

1141
00:51:11,680 --> 00:51:14,760
Speaker 3: I was livid and hurt, but being a people pleaser,

1142
00:51:14,880 --> 00:51:17,000
Speaker 3: I didn't want to fight it. I had no issue

1143
00:51:17,080 --> 00:51:21,920
Speaker 3: showing my distaste by leaving early. Of course, that stirred

1144
00:51:22,120 --> 00:51:25,600
Speaker 3: the BOT. I threatened to uninvite her unentirely, and just

1145
00:51:25,640 --> 00:51:28,200
Speaker 3: as equally, she threatened to show up anyways, as I

1146
00:51:28,280 --> 00:51:30,520
Speaker 3: was having my ceremony in a public part. I can't

1147
00:51:30,560 --> 00:51:33,240
Speaker 3: quite remember what happened as I blacked out those memories,

1148
00:51:33,239 --> 00:51:36,600
Speaker 3: but somehow, some way I got an apology from her

1149
00:51:36,760 --> 00:51:38,880
Speaker 3: and allowed her to be at the wedding. Could you

1150
00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:40,719
Speaker 3: mention she I don't remember, but I guess.

1151
00:51:41,360 --> 00:51:46,080
Speaker 2: You're you're the grandma. Like CIA like hypnosis on you.

1152
00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:49,799
Speaker 2: She like implanted a false memory in your head, of you,

1153
00:51:50,760 --> 00:51:52,160
Speaker 2: of you getting an apology.

1154
00:51:52,719 --> 00:51:56,160
Speaker 3: My uncle is another story in his mind. He was

1155
00:51:56,200 --> 00:51:58,440
Speaker 3: a father figure to me because my mom and I

1156
00:51:58,480 --> 00:52:00,239
Speaker 3: had lived with him for like a year when I

1157
00:52:00,280 --> 00:52:02,640
Speaker 3: was a baby. To me, he was that weird uncle

1158
00:52:02,680 --> 00:52:05,920
Speaker 3: growing up, but still fun but also only half asked

1159
00:52:05,920 --> 00:52:06,640
Speaker 3: everything he did.

1160
00:52:06,760 --> 00:52:08,359
Speaker 1: It's funny. He's like I raised you.

1161
00:52:08,920 --> 00:52:11,920
Speaker 2: I mean in a literal sense, like I picked you

1162
00:52:12,000 --> 00:52:13,399
Speaker 2: up and I raised you up off the ground.

1163
00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:14,200
Speaker 1: And I put you back down.

1164
00:52:14,280 --> 00:52:18,120
Speaker 3: I'm your father. Now now I'm your father. I raised

1165
00:52:18,160 --> 00:52:20,319
Speaker 3: you literally and figuratively.

1166
00:52:20,560 --> 00:52:22,880
Speaker 1: I did the simba. I did it. I did the simba.

1167
00:52:23,040 --> 00:52:25,080
Speaker 1: I hold you up. Yeah, you're mine.

1168
00:52:25,200 --> 00:52:27,600
Speaker 3: I can remember being ten or eleven years old and

1169
00:52:27,680 --> 00:52:29,839
Speaker 3: my mom had us kids write letters to have an

1170
00:52:29,880 --> 00:52:32,480
Speaker 3: intervention like that show they used to have on TV.

1171
00:52:34,120 --> 00:52:38,560
Speaker 1: What your Mom's having you stage?

1172
00:52:39,000 --> 00:52:42,480
Speaker 2: Your mom's having you write intervention letters for your uncle

1173
00:52:42,840 --> 00:52:43,719
Speaker 2: kind of at tag.

1174
00:52:44,320 --> 00:52:47,839
Speaker 3: Well, of course, back then, it was only booze as

1175
00:52:47,840 --> 00:52:49,880
Speaker 3: far as I knew, and it has since progressed to

1176
00:52:49,960 --> 00:52:53,839
Speaker 3: other substances. Despite his poor choices, he was never mean

1177
00:52:54,120 --> 00:52:57,279
Speaker 3: and was harmless. At the engagement party, he tried to

1178
00:52:57,320 --> 00:52:59,319
Speaker 3: pull me aside to ask if I really wanted to

1179
00:52:59,320 --> 00:53:02,839
Speaker 3: get married and how my husband hurt me. He had

1180
00:53:02,840 --> 00:53:04,719
Speaker 3: his own marriage blow up in his face because they

1181
00:53:04,760 --> 00:53:07,840
Speaker 3: were both chronically addicted, and he ended up losing custody

1182
00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:10,240
Speaker 3: of his kids, which that's not great.

1183
00:53:10,440 --> 00:53:12,319
Speaker 1: Yeah, that sucks, it's not good.

1184
00:53:12,760 --> 00:53:17,080
Speaker 3: Now to the wedding. The ceremony was beautiful. Everything came together,

1185
00:53:17,200 --> 00:53:19,839
Speaker 3: everyone was civil. My uncle even cleaned up and put

1186
00:53:19,840 --> 00:53:22,080
Speaker 3: on a white shirt and dressed pants. We had the

1187
00:53:22,120 --> 00:53:26,920
Speaker 3: receiving line, took photos. It was absolutely perfect. Then we

1188
00:53:27,000 --> 00:53:28,880
Speaker 3: had some time before the reception to hang out with

1189
00:53:28,960 --> 00:53:29,720
Speaker 3: the bridal party.

1190
00:53:29,920 --> 00:53:30,720
Speaker 1: Enter the reception.

1191
00:53:31,040 --> 00:53:34,120
Speaker 3: Less people attended than we initially thought would, so that

1192
00:53:34,239 --> 00:53:37,480
Speaker 3: was a bit disappointing, but we all entered, took our seats.

1193
00:53:37,400 --> 00:53:38,200
Speaker 1: And entered.

1194
00:53:38,239 --> 00:53:41,880
Speaker 3: My uncle wearing a bright red and blue NASCAR shirt

1195
00:53:42,080 --> 00:53:45,080
Speaker 3: and a dusty old cowboy hat, complete eye sore.

1196
00:53:45,239 --> 00:53:49,000
Speaker 1: Hey, hey, hey, I watch it now.

1197
00:53:49,840 --> 00:53:53,480
Speaker 3: Honestly, that's funny, Like that's the funk.

1198
00:53:53,880 --> 00:53:57,480
Speaker 1: I agree, and you better not be mismirched Nascar. No,

1199
00:53:57,600 --> 00:53:58,400
Speaker 1: I'm just kidding.

1200
00:53:59,000 --> 00:54:02,040
Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, I think it's funny. I think it's enlighthearted.

1201
00:54:02,080 --> 00:54:04,400
Speaker 3: I know he's trying to, you know, stick out like

1202
00:54:04,440 --> 00:54:07,200
Speaker 3: a sore thumb, but like he's there to support you.

1203
00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:09,960
Speaker 2: You can only choose how you respond to it, not

1204
00:54:10,200 --> 00:54:13,000
Speaker 2: how clearly he's gonna wear that. So now you can

1205
00:54:13,040 --> 00:54:16,080
Speaker 2: either be like that's funny or you can be really there.

1206
00:54:15,960 --> 00:54:16,480
Speaker 1: To embrace it.

1207
00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:19,160
Speaker 3: You're like, all right, we can like if that's it, great,

1208
00:54:19,200 --> 00:54:22,520
Speaker 3: We shook it off, no issues, Okay, everything is fine.

1209
00:54:22,560 --> 00:54:22,840
Speaker 2: Good.

1210
00:54:23,000 --> 00:54:26,240
Speaker 3: Can't control what people wear. We all get food, Chef's

1211
00:54:26,440 --> 00:54:30,560
Speaker 3: kiss delicious. Then speeches Initially, the plan was supposed to

1212
00:54:30,600 --> 00:54:32,960
Speaker 3: be the best man, then the maid of honor, my mom,

1213
00:54:33,320 --> 00:54:36,000
Speaker 3: my husband's mom, and that's it. There wasn't supposed to

1214
00:54:36,000 --> 00:54:39,000
Speaker 3: be any open mic, but the MC dropped that ball

1215
00:54:39,040 --> 00:54:41,239
Speaker 3: as people still got up from their chairs to make

1216
00:54:41,280 --> 00:54:45,359
Speaker 3: a speech. Grandma was already two bottles of wine. Oh yeah,

1217
00:54:45,400 --> 00:54:47,839
Speaker 3: and she was completely wasted by the time she got

1218
00:54:47,920 --> 00:54:51,840
Speaker 3: up to the microphone. Two bottles of wine for little

1219
00:54:51,880 --> 00:54:52,560
Speaker 3: old Grandma.

1220
00:54:52,800 --> 00:54:55,960
Speaker 1: Bottles of wine. Two two bottles of wine. You should

1221
00:54:55,960 --> 00:54:58,200
Speaker 1: have seen me back in my day. I get put

1222
00:54:58,239 --> 00:55:00,000
Speaker 1: it back like nobody's busy.

1223
00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:03,000
Speaker 3: You know what it happens at weddings. You can't control it.

1224
00:55:03,040 --> 00:55:05,200
Speaker 3: That means she was having a good time, I guess.

1225
00:55:05,360 --> 00:55:09,120
Speaker 2: I mean, yeah, but she's also got the active that

1226
00:55:09,239 --> 00:55:10,320
Speaker 2: diiction into alcohol.

1227
00:55:10,440 --> 00:55:13,200
Speaker 1: Probably, but yeah, not great.

1228
00:55:13,440 --> 00:55:17,480
Speaker 3: Her speech made no sense and it trailed on to nonsense.

1229
00:55:17,680 --> 00:55:21,120
Speaker 3: Completely an embarrassment, especially when my main concern was that

1230
00:55:21,200 --> 00:55:24,600
Speaker 3: my husband's family would see my family as trash.

1231
00:55:24,760 --> 00:55:25,600
Speaker 1: That's hilarious.

1232
00:55:25,760 --> 00:55:28,400
Speaker 2: She's like up there drunk talking about like, you know,

1233
00:55:29,280 --> 00:55:30,480
Speaker 2: a couple of years agreatness.

1234
00:55:30,719 --> 00:55:32,000
Speaker 3: I just renewed my vows.

1235
00:55:32,640 --> 00:55:38,440
Speaker 4: Yeah, I renew my vows two weeks ago, and honestly,

1236
00:55:39,000 --> 00:55:43,319
Speaker 4: I'm remember when those raccoons used to come into our backyard.

1237
00:55:43,880 --> 00:55:48,600
Speaker 2: Jesus, It's like, oh God, they're gonna think we're trash.

1238
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:50,920
Speaker 3: Once that tragedy was over, we got up to do

1239
00:55:51,080 --> 00:55:54,000
Speaker 3: our first dance. No issue was there because I had

1240
00:55:54,040 --> 00:55:56,640
Speaker 3: my father and my stepdad in attendance. I really wanted

1241
00:55:56,640 --> 00:55:58,960
Speaker 3: to have both of them dance with me at my wedding.

1242
00:55:59,040 --> 00:56:02,200
Speaker 3: I started with my Fall, and halfway through the song my.

1243
00:56:02,239 --> 00:56:04,520
Speaker 1: Stepdad cut in. It was beautiful.

1244
00:56:05,000 --> 00:56:06,960
Speaker 3: I was having lots of fun until my uncle, in

1245
00:56:07,040 --> 00:56:10,480
Speaker 3: his entitlement, got up in his TACKI clothing and cut

1246
00:56:10,520 --> 00:56:13,719
Speaker 3: in on my stepdad, who already didn't like it. I

1247
00:56:13,760 --> 00:56:16,640
Speaker 3: was really surprised he didn't get punched out, but my

1248
00:56:16,719 --> 00:56:19,200
Speaker 3: stepdad didn't want to make a scene, so thankfully the

1249
00:56:19,280 --> 00:56:21,839
Speaker 3: DJ cut the song short because he realized that was

1250
00:56:21,920 --> 00:56:25,560
Speaker 3: not supposed to happen. I was angry.

1251
00:56:25,760 --> 00:56:27,760
Speaker 1: Shout out good DJ. Yeah.

1252
00:56:27,880 --> 00:56:30,080
Speaker 3: Then it was my husband's turn to dance with his mom.

1253
00:56:30,120 --> 00:56:32,200
Speaker 3: He picked a very special song that meant a lot

1254
00:56:32,239 --> 00:56:34,919
Speaker 3: to him and her. Halfway through the song, my mom

1255
00:56:34,960 --> 00:56:37,120
Speaker 3: decided that she was going to get up and dance

1256
00:56:37,200 --> 00:56:44,120
Speaker 3: with him as well. Oh oh oh.

1257
00:56:43,280 --> 00:56:45,560
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, don't do that.

1258
00:56:46,440 --> 00:56:50,000
Speaker 3: My mother in law was pissed, and so was my husband.

1259
00:56:50,080 --> 00:56:52,239
Speaker 3: He even said after he didn't mind so much that

1260
00:56:52,280 --> 00:56:54,520
Speaker 3: my mom cut in because it was a new mom

1261
00:56:54,760 --> 00:56:56,680
Speaker 3: and he was really trying to make a good impression

1262
00:56:56,760 --> 00:56:59,440
Speaker 3: with her. The part that really ticked him off was

1263
00:56:59,440 --> 00:57:03,120
Speaker 3: my grandma decided to also get up and cut.

1264
00:57:02,920 --> 00:57:03,920
Speaker 1: In on the dance.

1265
00:57:04,000 --> 00:57:08,560
Speaker 3: Oh no, my grandma, who had no emotional connection to him,

1266
00:57:08,600 --> 00:57:10,200
Speaker 3: also wanted to get up and be a part of

1267
00:57:10,239 --> 00:57:12,680
Speaker 3: it instead of just letting my husband have a song

1268
00:57:12,920 --> 00:57:14,120
Speaker 3: with his mother.

1269
00:57:14,400 --> 00:57:16,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then what are you supposed to do in

1270
00:57:16,440 --> 00:57:19,520
Speaker 2: the middle of your like heartfelt dance? Supposed to be like, go,

1271
00:57:20,000 --> 00:57:22,640
Speaker 2: get away from me, get off of the stand.

1272
00:57:22,800 --> 00:57:23,040
Speaker 1: Why?

1273
00:57:23,600 --> 00:57:27,320
Speaker 3: My question is, why is no one stopping anyone? Like

1274
00:57:27,400 --> 00:57:29,280
Speaker 3: everyone just like this is supposed to happen.

1275
00:57:29,080 --> 00:57:31,080
Speaker 1: Right it is. It's just a free for all. Everyone's

1276
00:57:31,160 --> 00:57:32,200
Speaker 1: just like I don't care.

1277
00:57:32,360 --> 00:57:32,640
Speaker 3: Hey.

1278
00:57:33,040 --> 00:57:33,840
Speaker 1: The more the merrier.

1279
00:57:34,280 --> 00:57:36,760
Speaker 3: As the night went on, so did more cringey stuff.

1280
00:57:36,760 --> 00:57:40,120
Speaker 3: Grandma was intoxicated and stealing wine bottles from other tables.

1281
00:57:40,280 --> 00:57:42,400
Speaker 3: My uncle got up to catch the garter when my

1282
00:57:42,480 --> 00:57:45,000
Speaker 3: husband was tossing it, and he caught it very grandy.

1283
00:57:45,240 --> 00:57:46,960
Speaker 1: No, dude, honestly, that's hilarious.

1284
00:57:47,000 --> 00:57:51,560
Speaker 2: Imagine interception, that's actually really funny. I'm sorry, funk, I

1285
00:57:51,640 --> 00:57:54,720
Speaker 2: just don't think intercepted. You're not appreciating how funny your

1286
00:57:54,800 --> 00:57:55,400
Speaker 2: uncle Uncle.

1287
00:57:55,400 --> 00:57:56,960
Speaker 1: Is actually really funny. I get it.

1288
00:57:57,040 --> 00:58:00,000
Speaker 3: This is in bad taste, true, But like a suspect,

1289
00:58:00,400 --> 00:58:01,360
Speaker 3: this is hilarious.

1290
00:58:01,520 --> 00:58:03,960
Speaker 1: Yo, I want to party with him. Catching the garter

1291
00:58:04,120 --> 00:58:09,360
Speaker 1: in the NASCAR. Yeah, with the cowboy hat. That's hilarious.

1292
00:58:09,680 --> 00:58:13,040
Speaker 3: Uncle was also completely wasted. Part of me wishes we

1293
00:58:13,080 --> 00:58:15,160
Speaker 3: didn't even have the booze at the wedding, but that's

1294
00:58:15,400 --> 00:58:18,000
Speaker 3: not changing now. My husband and I left our wedding

1295
00:58:18,040 --> 00:58:20,960
Speaker 3: by ten pm, but the party didn't end until midnight.

1296
00:58:21,120 --> 00:58:25,080
Speaker 3: But you know what never ends your ability to listen

1297
00:58:25,120 --> 00:58:30,040
Speaker 3: to episodes with stories just like this On Spotify, Apple Podcasts,

1298
00:58:30,400 --> 00:58:34,360
Speaker 3: or wherever you listen to podcasts. Just search Okay story

1299
00:58:34,400 --> 00:58:37,200
Speaker 3: time and we'll be there. We have a plethora of

1300
00:58:37,480 --> 00:58:40,560
Speaker 3: fun stories like that fun Uncle all over.

1301
00:58:40,800 --> 00:58:45,600
Speaker 2: Yes, we are truly the Fun Uncle Podcast. Actually no

1302
00:58:45,720 --> 00:58:47,120
Speaker 2: we're not. We're already story time.

1303
00:58:47,200 --> 00:58:50,400
Speaker 3: Okay, story We're okay, story time. There is a little

1304
00:58:50,400 --> 00:58:54,720
Speaker 3: bit more to the story, but at this point that

1305
00:58:54,880 --> 00:58:57,200
Speaker 3: it's out of your hands. I know it's a little embarrassing,

1306
00:58:57,760 --> 00:59:00,800
Speaker 3: but you just can't control people. Maybe you have like

1307
00:59:00,840 --> 00:59:02,760
Speaker 3: some family friends, like hey, kid, you make sure uncle

1308
00:59:02,800 --> 00:59:05,360
Speaker 3: and grandma don't do anything stupid.

1309
00:59:05,600 --> 00:59:06,400
Speaker 1: Yes, too stupid.

1310
00:59:06,480 --> 00:59:08,280
Speaker 2: I think that's a good lesson to learn, is that

1311
00:59:08,320 --> 00:59:10,880
Speaker 2: you should have had someone running point on the problematic

1312
00:59:10,920 --> 00:59:13,680
Speaker 2: family members if if you didn't want them getting up

1313
00:59:13,680 --> 00:59:14,400
Speaker 2: to shenanigans.

1314
00:59:14,520 --> 00:59:17,160
Speaker 3: But I think the way it's being handled because it's

1315
00:59:17,160 --> 00:59:20,760
Speaker 3: not it seems like it's like, uh, for Opie, it's

1316
00:59:20,880 --> 00:59:23,240
Speaker 3: very like this is stressing me out, or like this

1317
00:59:23,320 --> 00:59:25,760
Speaker 3: is not the way I wanted it. But it seems

1318
00:59:25,800 --> 00:59:28,960
Speaker 3: like to the naked eye, to people who are just expectating,

1319
00:59:29,000 --> 00:59:30,880
Speaker 3: like okay, that's a little weird, or like whatever, they're

1320
00:59:30,920 --> 00:59:33,800
Speaker 3: having a little fun, it doesn't seem like anything's being

1321
00:59:34,000 --> 00:59:37,280
Speaker 3: really bad to my To us, it seems like it's

1322
00:59:37,320 --> 00:59:39,240
Speaker 3: not the worst thing that could have happened at a

1323
00:59:39,280 --> 00:59:40,479
Speaker 3: wedding or someone's wedding.

1324
00:59:40,560 --> 00:59:40,720
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1325
00:59:40,760 --> 00:59:43,600
Speaker 2: I mean, like the vow renewal like weeks before was annoying,

1326
00:59:43,640 --> 00:59:45,400
Speaker 2: but it's like, you know, it really doesn't have anything

1327
00:59:45,400 --> 00:59:45,840
Speaker 2: to do with you.

1328
00:59:45,920 --> 00:59:47,040
Speaker 1: It has to do with them, and.

1329
00:59:47,000 --> 00:59:49,640
Speaker 2: It's like, it's not you know, it's not like it's

1330
00:59:49,640 --> 00:59:51,560
Speaker 2: the day before. It's not really stealing your thunder.

1331
00:59:51,720 --> 00:59:54,720
Speaker 3: You probably inspired them. They're like, oh yeah, it's like

1332
00:59:55,040 --> 00:59:57,600
Speaker 3: first grandchild's getting married. That's inspiring us.

1333
00:59:57,720 --> 00:59:59,360
Speaker 1: Love is love, all that stuff.

1334
00:59:59,120 --> 01:00:01,640
Speaker 2: A lot of stuff like it mostly just falls back

1335
01:00:01,680 --> 01:00:04,120
Speaker 2: to how we perceive it, like as individuals, and if

1336
01:00:04,120 --> 01:00:08,840
Speaker 2: you could like cognitively reframe something like even if like

1337
01:00:09,680 --> 01:00:12,280
Speaker 2: the truth of the matter is like that it's exploitive

1338
01:00:12,400 --> 01:00:14,160
Speaker 2: or it's like it's kind of trying to put you down,

1339
01:00:14,320 --> 01:00:16,560
Speaker 2: if you can literally reframe it in your own head,

1340
01:00:16,760 --> 01:00:19,320
Speaker 2: it doesn't matter anymore because now it's just all about

1341
01:00:19,320 --> 01:00:22,080
Speaker 2: how you perceive it and how you are feeling about it.

1342
01:00:22,120 --> 01:00:23,000
Speaker 1: So I don't know.

1343
01:00:23,480 --> 01:00:26,000
Speaker 3: All in all, we had two villains for our wedding.

1344
01:00:26,560 --> 01:00:30,480
Speaker 3: Every other aspect was practically perfect in our minds. See again,

1345
01:00:30,560 --> 01:00:33,360
Speaker 3: I think you're too hyper fixated on the two villains. Yes,

1346
01:00:33,480 --> 01:00:35,240
Speaker 3: that sucks and it was annoying, but I think it

1347
01:00:35,320 --> 01:00:37,880
Speaker 3: was too hyper fixated that they really didn't do too

1348
01:00:37,920 --> 01:00:39,040
Speaker 3: much bad stuff.

1349
01:00:39,360 --> 01:00:44,320
Speaker 2: We might be like looking past the alcohol consumption. I mean,

1350
01:00:44,400 --> 01:00:46,040
Speaker 2: I think we might be looking past that because we

1351
01:00:46,080 --> 01:00:48,320
Speaker 2: didn't see it. So it might have been really rough

1352
01:00:48,600 --> 01:00:51,880
Speaker 2: with that, yeah, but we'll see.

1353
01:00:51,760 --> 01:00:54,720
Speaker 3: Every other aspect was practically perfect in our minds. I

1354
01:00:54,760 --> 01:00:57,439
Speaker 3: definitely went through my wedding photos and deleted a bunch

1355
01:00:57,520 --> 01:01:00,360
Speaker 3: of my uncles being at the wedding. We have since

1356
01:01:00,400 --> 01:01:02,720
Speaker 3: gone super low contact with my uncle and only spect

1357
01:01:02,720 --> 01:01:04,920
Speaker 3: to him once maybe twice a year. Maybe he's at

1358
01:01:04,960 --> 01:01:08,040
Speaker 3: my grandmother's house, but he does not get invited to

1359
01:01:08,080 --> 01:01:11,080
Speaker 3: any other family events. My grandmother has since been on

1360
01:01:11,160 --> 01:01:14,400
Speaker 3: different medication and we still talk because if she's not drinking,

1361
01:01:14,720 --> 01:01:16,960
Speaker 3: she's genuinely a lovely lady. And I like to bring

1362
01:01:17,000 --> 01:01:18,840
Speaker 3: my kids up to have a cup of tea every

1363
01:01:18,880 --> 01:01:21,640
Speaker 3: so often. That's my wedding drama. And that's the end

1364
01:01:21,680 --> 01:01:22,360
Speaker 3: of that story.

1365
01:01:23,400 --> 01:01:25,840
Speaker 1: Sam here og host. We're gonna get back to these stories.

1366
01:01:25,840 --> 01:01:27,840
Speaker 1: But here's three minutes bads from our sponsors.

1367
01:01:27,840 --> 01:01:33,040
Speaker 2: First, my sister hates our father's girlfriend, so she plans

1368
01:01:33,080 --> 01:01:35,600
Speaker 2: to set him up on a blind date.

1369
01:01:36,000 --> 01:01:36,720
Speaker 3: Love is blind.

1370
01:01:37,400 --> 01:01:40,360
Speaker 1: Shout out to that. I twenty three male, have two

1371
01:01:40,440 --> 01:01:44,840
Speaker 1: younger siblings, Anna twenty one female and Chloe, nineteen female.

1372
01:01:44,880 --> 01:01:47,280
Speaker 2: We've always been close. Our parents split up when I

1373
01:01:47,400 --> 01:01:50,040
Speaker 2: was nine, and our mom became pretty much a deadbeat.

1374
01:01:50,040 --> 01:01:52,480
Speaker 2: I've seen her maybe five times in the last ten years.

1375
01:01:52,520 --> 01:01:55,600
Speaker 2: So my dad, fifty male, raised us and it's pretty

1376
01:01:55,640 --> 01:01:57,840
Speaker 2: much always been us in him. Even after he started

1377
01:01:57,920 --> 01:02:00,920
Speaker 2: dating Fiona forty four female, when I was fifteen, our

1378
01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:03,760
Speaker 2: dynamics stayed mostly the same and there were pretty much

1379
01:02:03,800 --> 01:02:06,760
Speaker 2: no issues aside from just adjusting. By the way, this

1380
01:02:06,840 --> 01:02:10,800
Speaker 2: comes from user deleted, and you can submit your stories

1381
01:02:10,840 --> 01:02:14,200
Speaker 2: to the r slash okay storytime subreddit. So Chloe recently

1382
01:02:14,240 --> 01:02:16,680
Speaker 2: moved out after living at home for her first year

1383
01:02:16,760 --> 01:02:19,880
Speaker 2: at college, and a few months later, my dad announced

1384
01:02:19,880 --> 01:02:22,760
Speaker 2: that he and Fiona were engaged and going to get married.

1385
01:02:22,880 --> 01:02:25,800
Speaker 2: In my opinion, everyone expected this would happen since they

1386
01:02:25,840 --> 01:02:28,919
Speaker 2: were together so long, but Anna was very upset. She's

1387
01:02:28,960 --> 01:02:31,760
Speaker 2: been complaining to everyone about it for weeks, but mostly me.

1388
01:02:32,000 --> 01:02:34,040
Speaker 2: She says it's like he was just waiting for us

1389
01:02:34,040 --> 01:02:35,720
Speaker 2: to all grow up and get out of the house

1390
01:02:35,760 --> 01:02:38,120
Speaker 2: so that he could move in his new woman and

1391
01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:40,840
Speaker 2: be a family with her instead. She also doesn't like

1392
01:02:40,880 --> 01:02:44,120
Speaker 2: that there's almost seven years of an age gap between them,

1393
01:02:44,160 --> 01:02:46,520
Speaker 2: because he and our mom were high school sweethearts and

1394
01:02:46,640 --> 01:02:49,000
Speaker 2: our mom was actually a few months older. So she

1395
01:02:49,040 --> 01:02:51,640
Speaker 2: feels like our Dad is replacing her with a younger model.

1396
01:02:51,760 --> 01:02:54,360
Speaker 2: Side note, she's never liked Fiona because she was still

1397
01:02:54,400 --> 01:02:56,440
Speaker 2: hoping my parents would get back together when he and

1398
01:02:56,480 --> 01:02:59,120
Speaker 2: Fiona started dating, Mom was less of a deadbeat then.

1399
01:02:59,160 --> 01:03:02,280
Speaker 2: Anna also thinks that there isn't much passion between them

1400
01:03:02,320 --> 01:03:04,400
Speaker 2: because every time she was over at our place, they

1401
01:03:04,480 --> 01:03:07,600
Speaker 2: barely touched or just treated each other like polite acquaintances

1402
01:03:07,720 --> 01:03:10,120
Speaker 2: since we were kids. She also doesn't see why he

1403
01:03:10,200 --> 01:03:12,480
Speaker 2: has to move her in before they're even married, because

1404
01:03:12,480 --> 01:03:15,560
Speaker 2: Fiona's financially well off and doesn't need the stability. She

1405
01:03:15,680 --> 01:03:17,520
Speaker 2: wants to be able to spend this summer with just

1406
01:03:17,600 --> 01:03:19,960
Speaker 2: our dad and us without anyone else moving in yet.

1407
01:03:19,960 --> 01:03:21,720
Speaker 2: She told me the other day that she's planning on

1408
01:03:21,800 --> 01:03:23,760
Speaker 2: trying to set him up with one of her friend's

1409
01:03:24,000 --> 01:03:27,320
Speaker 2: single mom instead, who she feels is much more age

1410
01:03:27,320 --> 01:03:31,040
Speaker 2: appropriate and likable than Fiona, and whom she thinks he'd

1411
01:03:31,040 --> 01:03:33,560
Speaker 2: have more chemistry with. She's planning on telling him this

1412
01:03:33,600 --> 01:03:35,800
Speaker 2: weekend and wants me to back her up. I just

1413
01:03:35,840 --> 01:03:38,000
Speaker 2: lost my patience and told her to leave me out

1414
01:03:38,000 --> 01:03:40,240
Speaker 2: of this, and that she's ruining his life by trying

1415
01:03:40,240 --> 01:03:42,240
Speaker 2: to set him up on some blind day as if

1416
01:03:42,280 --> 01:03:44,760
Speaker 2: he's a child. She started crying and told me all

1417
01:03:44,800 --> 01:03:47,240
Speaker 2: she wants is what's best for him because Fiona's the

1418
01:03:47,280 --> 01:03:49,520
Speaker 2: wrong woman and he's making a mistake. But I said,

1419
01:03:49,560 --> 01:03:52,080
Speaker 2: I don't see how this would help when he's already engaged,

1420
01:03:52,120 --> 01:03:54,040
Speaker 2: and that she's being stupid. She called me an a

1421
01:03:54,160 --> 01:03:56,000
Speaker 2: hole for being so harsh and hasn't talked to me

1422
01:03:56,040 --> 01:03:56,480
Speaker 2: since then.

1423
01:03:56,800 --> 01:04:05,120
Speaker 1: So don't I don't. I don't know what amazon uh.

1424
01:04:05,240 --> 01:04:09,040
Speaker 3: I think she's there's something here that's there's correlation to

1425
01:04:09,280 --> 01:04:12,800
Speaker 3: just having anger and but like it's way too much.

1426
01:04:13,560 --> 01:04:15,440
Speaker 1: I mean, this is not even the same sister. This

1427
01:04:15,480 --> 01:04:17,960
Speaker 1: is a different sister. This is the others.

1428
01:04:17,960 --> 01:04:21,360
Speaker 2: The other sister is just pissed and now this one

1429
01:04:21,400 --> 01:04:23,200
Speaker 2: wants to set up a blind day. But it's like

1430
01:04:24,480 --> 01:04:26,360
Speaker 2: the rationale is weird because it's like, I don't know,

1431
01:04:26,400 --> 01:04:29,240
Speaker 2: they never seem that close. It's like, yeah, probably because

1432
01:04:29,480 --> 01:04:34,400
Speaker 2: the daughter like his daughter's being present. It's like he's

1433
01:04:34,440 --> 01:04:36,240
Speaker 2: not gonna like go out of the way to be

1434
01:04:36,320 --> 01:04:38,840
Speaker 2: like lovey dovey PDA with his new woman.

1435
01:04:38,920 --> 01:04:40,800
Speaker 3: They probably talked about it too, like oh, they're not

1436
01:04:40,840 --> 01:04:43,480
Speaker 3: accustomed to this, or like don't like make it weird

1437
01:04:43,480 --> 01:04:45,919
Speaker 3: for them because yeah, like I'm comfortable, So.

1438
01:04:46,200 --> 01:04:49,480
Speaker 2: It's just like, let's not be overly affectionate around the children,

1439
01:04:49,520 --> 01:04:52,920
Speaker 2: and was probably a discussion. Yeah, I admit part of

1440
01:04:52,960 --> 01:04:55,640
Speaker 2: me is also bummed that we won't have as much

1441
01:04:55,840 --> 01:04:58,280
Speaker 2: of my dad's time anymore and that things are about

1442
01:04:58,280 --> 01:05:00,640
Speaker 2: to change dramatically. So I wonder if I should have

1443
01:05:00,680 --> 01:05:03,440
Speaker 2: been more validating or supportive of Anna. But I just

1444
01:05:03,520 --> 01:05:06,600
Speaker 2: don't think our dad did anything wrong or that talking

1445
01:05:06,640 --> 01:05:08,640
Speaker 2: him out of this will do any good. Am I

1446
01:05:08,800 --> 01:05:12,720
Speaker 2: the a hole? I'm gonna say no, Jesus, I'm gonna

1447
01:05:12,720 --> 01:05:13,120
Speaker 2: say no.

1448
01:05:14,120 --> 01:05:17,800
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, Yeah, But there is an edit to add,

1449
01:05:17,960 --> 01:05:18,960
Speaker 1: so let's get into that.

1450
01:05:19,000 --> 01:05:21,800
Speaker 2: The main reason I'm saying guessing myself is because I

1451
01:05:21,960 --> 01:05:24,920
Speaker 2: too would love another summer with just our dad. But

1452
01:05:25,040 --> 01:05:27,240
Speaker 2: I have my own place now, so it's not like

1453
01:05:27,360 --> 01:05:29,840
Speaker 2: I have nowhere to go if things get unbearable with

1454
01:05:29,920 --> 01:05:30,640
Speaker 2: Fiona here.

1455
01:05:30,720 --> 01:05:31,600
Speaker 1: I don't think they will.

1456
01:05:31,640 --> 01:05:34,080
Speaker 2: She's always let us kids just do our own thing,

1457
01:05:34,240 --> 01:05:35,920
Speaker 2: so it's not that big of a deal to me.

1458
01:05:36,040 --> 01:05:38,320
Speaker 1: I also do see where Anna's coming from.

1459
01:05:38,200 --> 01:05:41,120
Speaker 2: About him and Fiona not being very romantic in front

1460
01:05:41,120 --> 01:05:43,400
Speaker 2: of us our parents were much more at touchy peely.

1461
01:05:43,520 --> 01:05:46,040
Speaker 2: I don't know if this means she's the wrong woman

1462
01:05:46,240 --> 01:05:48,320
Speaker 2: or not, but to be honest, since my dad doesn't

1463
01:05:48,320 --> 01:05:50,919
Speaker 2: seem to care, I don't either, thank you exactly. Yeah,

1464
01:05:51,240 --> 01:05:53,920
Speaker 2: there and there it is. I don't see her as

1465
01:05:53,920 --> 01:05:56,360
Speaker 2: another parent or anything. But we've personally never had a

1466
01:05:56,360 --> 01:05:58,640
Speaker 2: problem with each other, and I don't think Chloe does either.

1467
01:05:58,720 --> 01:06:00,640
Speaker 2: I do agree my dad deserves to do what he

1468
01:06:00,720 --> 01:06:02,600
Speaker 2: wants to be happy at this point, and now we

1469
01:06:02,640 --> 01:06:05,360
Speaker 2: have an update. Yeah, sounds like his perspective is the

1470
01:06:05,440 --> 01:06:05,919
Speaker 2: right one.

1471
01:06:06,560 --> 01:06:08,320
Speaker 3: Guess what, Dad as an adult and he can make

1472
01:06:08,360 --> 01:06:09,360
Speaker 3: his big boy decisions.

1473
01:06:09,440 --> 01:06:09,920
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1474
01:06:10,080 --> 01:06:12,160
Speaker 2: I think they've been together long enough that if they

1475
01:06:12,280 --> 01:06:15,280
Speaker 2: weren't gonna work out, he'd know it. And I can

1476
01:06:15,280 --> 01:06:18,360
Speaker 2: almost guarantee that they had a discussion where it was like, well,

1477
01:06:18,360 --> 01:06:20,280
Speaker 2: we don't want the kids to feel weird, so maybe

1478
01:06:20,400 --> 01:06:24,400
Speaker 2: let's be a little hands off around the children.

1479
01:06:24,440 --> 01:06:26,720
Speaker 3: Which that's perfectly fine.

1480
01:06:26,760 --> 01:06:32,439
Speaker 1: Honestly, is the correct protocol. Always don't make things. Here's

1481
01:06:32,480 --> 01:06:32,920
Speaker 1: the update.

1482
01:06:32,960 --> 01:06:35,479
Speaker 2: Thanks to everyone who shared all the advice. A lot

1483
01:06:35,560 --> 01:06:37,920
Speaker 2: has gone down, so I thought I should update. I

1484
01:06:37,960 --> 01:06:40,400
Speaker 2: tried talking to Anna once more about not doing the

1485
01:06:40,440 --> 01:06:43,840
Speaker 2: whole blind date thing, but she refused. So as folks suggested,

1486
01:06:43,880 --> 01:06:45,800
Speaker 2: I went and told my dad I had to warn

1487
01:06:45,880 --> 01:06:48,840
Speaker 2: him about something. So, as folks suggested, I went and

1488
01:06:48,880 --> 01:06:51,760
Speaker 2: told my dad that I had to warn him about something.

1489
01:06:51,880 --> 01:06:54,000
Speaker 2: Here's where I may be messed up a bit. Fiona

1490
01:06:54,080 --> 01:06:56,400
Speaker 2: was there and maybe I should have said it privately,

1491
01:06:56,480 --> 01:06:58,640
Speaker 2: but there was no time. He asked what was wrong,

1492
01:06:58,680 --> 01:07:00,360
Speaker 2: and I just couldn't get the words out. So I

1493
01:07:00,360 --> 01:07:02,439
Speaker 2: said it's about the engagement and that it was best

1494
01:07:02,480 --> 01:07:04,480
Speaker 2: he heard it from Anna. Well, of course he went

1495
01:07:04,520 --> 01:07:06,640
Speaker 2: to her room to get her. We all sat in

1496
01:07:06,640 --> 01:07:07,240
Speaker 2: the living room.

1497
01:07:07,320 --> 01:07:10,160
Speaker 1: Chloe was already watching TV there, and after some coaxing

1498
01:07:10,160 --> 01:07:11,880
Speaker 1: from him, she just exploded and.

1499
01:07:11,880 --> 01:07:14,960
Speaker 2: Started crying that it wasn't fair. Things were happening too

1500
01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:17,320
Speaker 2: fast and he just decided to get engaged without even

1501
01:07:17,360 --> 01:07:18,120
Speaker 2: consulting us.

1502
01:07:18,200 --> 01:07:19,480
Speaker 1: See I kind of called that one.

1503
01:07:19,560 --> 01:07:21,800
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's where like some like I feel like, that's

1504
01:07:21,840 --> 01:07:23,800
Speaker 3: That's what I meant earlier, is that they needed to

1505
01:07:23,880 --> 01:07:27,520
Speaker 3: talk because things are like you, I think you're a

1506
01:07:27,520 --> 01:07:30,080
Speaker 3: little confused. I was like, yeah, this is this is fat,

1507
01:07:30,200 --> 01:07:33,880
Speaker 3: this is fast. Yeah, and it's bottling up. Something's bottling something.

1508
01:07:33,880 --> 01:07:36,560
Speaker 3: There's something connecting over there. It's like, ah, something that's

1509
01:07:36,560 --> 01:07:37,040
Speaker 3: good at.

1510
01:07:37,120 --> 01:07:39,200
Speaker 1: I just don't feel like it's that fast. Dude, it's

1511
01:07:39,240 --> 01:07:42,280
Speaker 1: been years. It's been years and years, but guess what

1512
01:07:42,440 --> 01:07:46,479
Speaker 1: for been nine years for kids? I don't know. For something.

1513
01:07:46,520 --> 01:07:47,360
Speaker 1: It just depends.

1514
01:07:47,520 --> 01:07:49,880
Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't know. Sometimes they just you

1515
01:07:49,920 --> 01:07:51,240
Speaker 3: can't except.

1516
01:07:50,920 --> 01:07:54,800
Speaker 1: Nine years you see it coming, nine years. Sometimes you

1517
01:07:54,800 --> 01:07:57,160
Speaker 1: should see it coming. Sometimes kids just can't don't want

1518
01:07:57,160 --> 01:07:57,640
Speaker 1: to accept it.

1519
01:07:57,840 --> 01:08:00,400
Speaker 2: Yeah, she said, he just decided to get engage without

1520
01:08:00,440 --> 01:08:02,400
Speaker 2: even consulting us, which he doesn't need to do, and

1521
01:08:02,440 --> 01:08:04,320
Speaker 2: we were just supposed to go along with it, like

1522
01:08:04,440 --> 01:08:05,320
Speaker 2: we're still children.

1523
01:08:05,400 --> 01:08:07,320
Speaker 1: I'm confused. What's the other option? She said?

1524
01:08:07,360 --> 01:08:09,800
Speaker 2: We never consented to our mom leaving us and had

1525
01:08:09,840 --> 01:08:11,920
Speaker 2: no say in them getting back together, so that we

1526
01:08:11,920 --> 01:08:13,920
Speaker 2: should have at least had a say in who he

1527
01:08:14,000 --> 01:08:16,599
Speaker 2: started dating next. Please note this is not what I

1528
01:08:16,640 --> 01:08:20,000
Speaker 2: personally feel, I think, which is good true, because that's

1529
01:08:20,040 --> 01:08:22,600
Speaker 2: not right and this is clearly being said from a

1530
01:08:22,600 --> 01:08:23,639
Speaker 2: place of like trauma.

1531
01:08:24,040 --> 01:08:26,479
Speaker 1: This is YAH, and this abandonment or whatever.

1532
01:08:26,320 --> 01:08:29,120
Speaker 3: Correlating from something so much deeper than what she's saying.

1533
01:08:29,200 --> 01:08:33,960
Speaker 1: Yep, therapy is needed. Therapy time anyway, my dad just

1534
01:08:34,000 --> 01:08:35,439
Speaker 1: looks shell shocked.

1535
01:08:35,560 --> 01:08:38,040
Speaker 2: Seeing his face made me feel god awful. He looked

1536
01:08:38,080 --> 01:08:41,479
Speaker 2: silently at Fiona and she silently burst into tears. This

1537
01:08:41,560 --> 01:08:44,439
Speaker 2: scared me because I've never even seen her cry. My

1538
01:08:44,520 --> 01:08:47,559
Speaker 2: dad's rarely weepy, and I've even seen him cry more.

1539
01:08:47,640 --> 01:08:49,760
Speaker 2: Dad held her hand and she just kept sobbing. I

1540
01:08:49,840 --> 01:08:53,040
Speaker 2: told you, I told you, it felt worse. I felt worse.

1541
01:08:53,200 --> 01:08:55,760
Speaker 2: One nice thing was Chloe got emotional to see this,

1542
01:08:55,960 --> 01:08:58,400
Speaker 2: so she actually went over and gave Fiona a hug.

1543
01:08:58,479 --> 01:09:00,840
Speaker 1: I felt like doing it too, but thought it'd be weird.

1544
01:09:01,040 --> 01:09:03,519
Speaker 2: My dad hugged Anna and said he was sorry. He

1545
01:09:03,600 --> 01:09:06,240
Speaker 2: never realized how she felt. He said it's too late

1546
01:09:06,280 --> 01:09:08,519
Speaker 2: to set him up with anyone. I managed to have

1547
01:09:08,600 --> 01:09:11,080
Speaker 2: Anna add this, if he was going to be with anyone,

1548
01:09:11,120 --> 01:09:13,720
Speaker 2: it would be Fiona. But if this engagement was really

1549
01:09:13,800 --> 01:09:15,800
Speaker 2: hurting her, the two of them would talk about whether

1550
01:09:15,840 --> 01:09:18,360
Speaker 2: it could be postponed. He did say it's a done

1551
01:09:18,360 --> 01:09:20,600
Speaker 2: deal that she's moving in this summer, though, since she

1552
01:09:20,680 --> 01:09:24,120
Speaker 2: already ended her lease and made arrangements. Long story short,

1553
01:09:24,240 --> 01:09:25,920
Speaker 2: he arranged family therapy.

1554
01:09:26,040 --> 01:09:30,240
Speaker 1: There we go. So this is again. Okay, it's good,

1555
01:09:30,800 --> 01:09:32,200
Speaker 1: it's good. That's the best thing that could happened.

1556
01:09:32,240 --> 01:09:33,760
Speaker 3: That's good, the best thing that could happen. I know,

1557
01:09:34,200 --> 01:09:36,040
Speaker 3: especially with kids, they just don't want to talk about

1558
01:09:36,040 --> 01:09:38,000
Speaker 3: their feelings and don't want to talk about things and

1559
01:09:38,040 --> 01:09:40,400
Speaker 3: just like let things just brush under the rug. And

1560
01:09:40,439 --> 01:09:43,760
Speaker 3: I think when you get confronted by an adult like hey,

1561
01:09:43,800 --> 01:09:46,639
Speaker 3: how are you a feeling and usually kids are like meh,

1562
01:09:46,920 --> 01:09:49,559
Speaker 3: I'm all right, Well I don't want to talk about it.

1563
01:09:49,680 --> 01:09:54,560
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm hanging in there, chief, chief be chief.

1564
01:09:53,920 --> 01:09:57,040
Speaker 3: And now she's now it's all coming out.

1565
01:09:57,400 --> 01:10:00,400
Speaker 2: Fiona actually suggested it and said she was willing to

1566
01:10:00,439 --> 01:10:03,599
Speaker 2: participate if it would help. I don't think I need therapy,

1567
01:10:03,640 --> 01:10:05,599
Speaker 2: but I think I'm going to do it just to help.

1568
01:10:05,680 --> 01:10:08,759
Speaker 2: Chloe agreed, and Anna hasn't said anything since this happened,

1569
01:10:08,760 --> 01:10:10,880
Speaker 2: but I think that's a sign that she's accepted it.

1570
01:10:11,000 --> 01:10:14,080
Speaker 2: Things were okay for the rest of the evening, thank god,

1571
01:10:14,400 --> 01:10:17,280
Speaker 2: no blind date. Dad asked if I was okay and

1572
01:10:17,360 --> 01:10:19,439
Speaker 2: thanked me for doing this. He said he was proud

1573
01:10:19,479 --> 01:10:21,120
Speaker 2: of me, and I teared up a little bit. He

1574
01:10:21,200 --> 01:10:22,800
Speaker 2: and Fiona sat on the porch for the rest of

1575
01:10:22,840 --> 01:10:25,240
Speaker 2: the night with his arm around her. I'm honestly relieved.

1576
01:10:25,320 --> 01:10:28,000
Speaker 2: Things have been calm since then. Anna is still quiet,

1577
01:10:28,000 --> 01:10:31,639
Speaker 2: but at least she's not avoiding us or objecting to therapy.

1578
01:10:31,760 --> 01:10:34,600
Speaker 2: The first session starts early July, and he's booked it

1579
01:10:34,640 --> 01:10:36,880
Speaker 2: for the four of us for now. Thanks for all

1580
01:10:36,920 --> 01:10:40,000
Speaker 2: the support everyone, I'm really hopeful things will get better

1581
01:10:40,000 --> 01:10:42,720
Speaker 2: from now on. And by the way, did you know

1582
01:10:42,880 --> 01:10:46,120
Speaker 2: that you can listen to full episodes with stories like this?

1583
01:10:46,600 --> 01:10:48,800
Speaker 2: All you have to do is go to Spotify or

1584
01:10:48,840 --> 01:10:51,640
Speaker 2: Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your podcast from and

1585
01:10:51,680 --> 01:10:55,320
Speaker 2: search Okay story time, and there you will find us.

1586
01:10:55,520 --> 01:10:57,600
Speaker 2: You'll find a lot of us, find us, and you

1587
01:10:57,640 --> 01:11:00,960
Speaker 2: can listen peak a boo intently do it.

1588
01:11:01,520 --> 01:11:03,040
Speaker 1: So there's a little bit of story left. But Kean,

1589
01:11:03,120 --> 01:11:04,160
Speaker 1: how are we how are we feeling?

1590
01:11:04,360 --> 01:11:08,080
Speaker 3: I'm feeling kind of warm inside, like this is oh yeah, yeah,

1591
01:11:08,120 --> 01:11:11,080
Speaker 3: this is very nice. This is this solution is being

1592
01:11:11,080 --> 01:11:14,960
Speaker 3: figured out. The family's talked, you know, everyone is getting

1593
01:11:15,000 --> 01:11:18,240
Speaker 3: in on it. And I like how the father's like, oh,

1594
01:11:18,320 --> 01:11:21,400
Speaker 3: I didn't realize, you know, because he didn't he didn't

1595
01:11:21,479 --> 01:11:23,880
Speaker 3: listen or didn't want to not necessarily ask about how

1596
01:11:23,880 --> 01:11:26,040
Speaker 3: his daughters were feeling, but like he didn't he just

1597
01:11:26,120 --> 01:11:28,679
Speaker 3: wasn't aware. He wasn't aware, and that sometimes happens because

1598
01:11:28,720 --> 01:11:30,800
Speaker 3: there was no communication there. Because again, at the end

1599
01:11:30,800 --> 01:11:32,920
Speaker 3: of the day, how are you feeling, sweetie man, I'm

1600
01:11:32,920 --> 01:11:34,479
Speaker 3: all right, I'm gonna go to my room now.

1601
01:11:34,520 --> 01:11:38,120
Speaker 1: Bye. Yeah. Yeah, it can happen. That can certainly happen.

1602
01:11:38,240 --> 01:11:40,840
Speaker 3: So reaching out. I think that's the case in point

1603
01:11:40,880 --> 01:11:43,360
Speaker 3: here is just reach out to talk to even if

1604
01:11:43,360 --> 01:11:46,080
Speaker 3: it's a child or a loved one, even if they

1605
01:11:46,120 --> 01:11:48,240
Speaker 3: say they're all right, like are you actually okay? Like

1606
01:11:48,280 --> 01:11:49,240
Speaker 3: are you okay? To Koda?

1607
01:11:49,479 --> 01:11:57,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, seeing he's not okay, I'm actually great good. I

1608
01:11:57,080 --> 01:12:00,559
Speaker 1: think okay, I think I am okay. I'm stressed out

1609
01:12:00,560 --> 01:12:01,679
Speaker 1: about all the dust in the air.

1610
01:12:01,880 --> 01:12:04,240
Speaker 3: Oh that's a different thing. Okay, Well, yes, let's go

1611
01:12:04,280 --> 01:12:05,759
Speaker 3: to the Okay, let's.

1612
01:12:05,560 --> 01:12:06,160
Speaker 1: Finish this up.

1613
01:12:06,200 --> 01:12:08,360
Speaker 2: And it's to add while it's true that my dad

1614
01:12:08,400 --> 01:12:11,040
Speaker 2: never asked us for permission to date Fiona, I remember

1615
01:12:11,120 --> 01:12:13,520
Speaker 2: him saying many times that he was starting a relationship

1616
01:12:13,520 --> 01:12:15,400
Speaker 2: and that his biggest hope was for us to be

1617
01:12:15,560 --> 01:12:17,519
Speaker 2: okay with it, and if not, he'd do whatever it

1618
01:12:17,560 --> 01:12:20,240
Speaker 2: took to help us get there. We weren't necessarily thrilled,

1619
01:12:20,280 --> 01:12:22,559
Speaker 2: but I know none of us had objected, though maybe

1620
01:12:22,560 --> 01:12:24,280
Speaker 2: Anna just didn't think that it would stick.

1621
01:12:24,560 --> 01:12:25,040
Speaker 1: I don't know.

1622
01:12:25,200 --> 01:12:28,719
Speaker 2: I also don't think they should have to postpone their marriage,

1623
01:12:28,720 --> 01:12:31,240
Speaker 2: but if that's what everyone sees fit to do, then

1624
01:12:31,280 --> 01:12:33,800
Speaker 2: I won't object. I will really quickly just say that.

1625
01:12:33,920 --> 01:12:35,400
Speaker 2: You know, I get being like I want my kids

1626
01:12:35,400 --> 01:12:37,160
Speaker 2: to be comfortable with like the next person I'm dating,

1627
01:12:37,200 --> 01:12:41,080
Speaker 2: but it's like they can't be like allowed to make

1628
01:12:41,080 --> 01:12:42,280
Speaker 2: that decision for you.

1629
01:12:42,280 --> 01:12:45,559
Speaker 3: No, I think it's a conversation with all three or

1630
01:12:45,560 --> 01:12:47,559
Speaker 3: like whoever your children are like how do you feel

1631
01:12:47,560 --> 01:12:50,479
Speaker 3: about my partner? And like you're like, hey, like I

1632
01:12:50,520 --> 01:12:53,479
Speaker 3: want to hear your voicing and your reasoning and all that.

1633
01:12:54,120 --> 01:12:56,880
Speaker 3: But because that's that family too, that they're a fan

1634
01:12:57,000 --> 01:12:59,240
Speaker 3: yeah first Yeah, and they want to be comfortable with

1635
01:12:59,240 --> 01:13:02,400
Speaker 3: the person you're dating. Yeah, obviously in this case, thankfully,

1636
01:13:03,160 --> 01:13:05,840
Speaker 3: Fiona wasn't a bad person. Fiona was a very caring

1637
01:13:05,880 --> 01:13:08,760
Speaker 3: person and respected them. But I think that's what needed

1638
01:13:08,760 --> 01:13:11,839
Speaker 3: to happen at the beginning, was communication and talking with

1639
01:13:12,080 --> 01:13:14,920
Speaker 3: the girls and seeing how they feel in general.

1640
01:13:15,160 --> 01:13:18,200
Speaker 2: And to add number two, just want to clarify that

1641
01:13:18,280 --> 01:13:21,240
Speaker 2: my dad and Fiona are still engaged. No one has

1642
01:13:21,240 --> 01:13:23,920
Speaker 2: called off or postponed the marriage yet, which I'm glad about.

1643
01:13:24,000 --> 01:13:26,479
Speaker 2: Postponing was just something my dad suggested in order to

1644
01:13:26,479 --> 01:13:29,000
Speaker 2: take more time to help Anna if it was needed.

1645
01:13:29,040 --> 01:13:31,680
Speaker 2: But they're definitely still getting married, and he made it

1646
01:13:31,720 --> 01:13:34,280
Speaker 2: clear he'd never marry anyone but her. I did make

1647
01:13:34,320 --> 01:13:36,880
Speaker 2: it clear during the whole confrontation that these were just

1648
01:13:37,200 --> 01:13:39,960
Speaker 2: Anna's thoughts and I don't share them.

1649
01:13:40,200 --> 01:13:42,760
Speaker 3: I like that the most that Oafie was like, this

1650
01:13:42,880 --> 01:13:46,800
Speaker 3: has nothing to do with me, and it's not I

1651
01:13:46,880 --> 01:13:47,639
Speaker 3: have no thoughts.

1652
01:13:48,000 --> 01:13:54,000
Speaker 1: This is her, not me, her Ty, fuck, it's hers.

1653
01:13:54,200 --> 01:13:55,040
Speaker 1: These are her thoughts.

1654
01:13:56,200 --> 01:14:00,439
Speaker 3: But yeah, no, I think I'm also good on you know,

1655
01:14:00,640 --> 01:14:02,600
Speaker 3: the adults here and being like, we can postpone it

1656
01:14:02,600 --> 01:14:04,680
Speaker 3: if this doesn't make you comfortable, and we can be

1657
01:14:04,720 --> 01:14:07,439
Speaker 3: more of a family. And I feel like when once

1658
01:14:07,479 --> 01:14:10,479
Speaker 3: Anna is like yes or like not necessarily get their blessed,

1659
01:14:10,479 --> 01:14:13,200
Speaker 3: get her blessing, but it's kind of getting her blessing. Yeah,

1660
01:14:14,479 --> 01:14:16,639
Speaker 3: but that's the end of that story.