1 00:00:00,880 --> 00:00:04,160 Speaker 1: Time now for today's Strawberry Letter and listen. If you 2 00:00:04,200 --> 00:00:11,280 Speaker 1: need advice on sex, on dating, on parenting, relationships, whatever, 3 00:00:11,600 --> 00:00:14,840 Speaker 1: write us okay and more. Submit your Strawberry letter to 4 00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:18,759 Speaker 1: Steve Harvey FM and click submit Strawberry Letter. We'll try 5 00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:23,479 Speaker 1: to help you if we can. Can't help everybody. If 6 00:00:23,520 --> 00:00:27,320 Speaker 1: we can, we'll try, and we could be reading your 7 00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:32,360 Speaker 1: letter live. Bure like we're gonna read this one right here, 8 00:00:32,520 --> 00:00:35,360 Speaker 1: right now. Buggle up, hold on tight, We got it 9 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:38,480 Speaker 1: for you here. It is the stroll every letter subject. 10 00:00:38,600 --> 00:00:43,839 Speaker 1: My man says, I went from whop to hop. All right, 11 00:00:44,440 --> 00:00:47,319 Speaker 1: Dear Stephen Shirley, I'm a thirty year old mother with 12 00:00:47,400 --> 00:00:50,320 Speaker 1: three children. My children's father and I have been together 13 00:00:50,440 --> 00:00:52,919 Speaker 1: over ten years, so let me say this before you 14 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:56,680 Speaker 1: bash me. He has asked me to marry him several times, 15 00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:59,360 Speaker 1: and I respectfully declined because we need to go to 16 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:03,200 Speaker 1: therapy before we get married. Here's why my confidence is 17 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:06,000 Speaker 1: at an all time low, because my children's father has 18 00:01:06,080 --> 00:01:10,440 Speaker 1: cheated many times. Whenever I confront him, his exact words are, 19 00:01:10,800 --> 00:01:14,080 Speaker 1: your sex is very boring and you complain too much. 20 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:17,479 Speaker 1: When the new Mega Stallion and Cardi B Song came out, 21 00:01:17,560 --> 00:01:20,640 Speaker 1: He even joked that I've gone from wop to hop, 22 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:27,600 Speaker 1: meaning I have horrible ap My response was, well, I 23 00:01:27,720 --> 00:01:33,480 Speaker 1: was what you said in the letter was horrible, ass Pere. 24 00:01:34,080 --> 00:01:36,040 Speaker 1: You don't want to say ass You got to read 25 00:01:36,040 --> 00:01:37,600 Speaker 1: the letter like we wrote the letter out of me. 26 00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:42,920 Speaker 1: You didn't read. You didn't write the letter. Ike, I 27 00:01:43,040 --> 00:01:48,200 Speaker 1: can't see anyway, all right, you guys got the message. 28 00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:51,240 Speaker 1: My response was, well, I wouldn't complain as much and 29 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:53,200 Speaker 1: would do a better job in the bedroom if you 30 00:01:53,240 --> 00:01:55,880 Speaker 1: were half the man you used to be. I'm often 31 00:01:55,920 --> 00:01:58,680 Speaker 1: tired from work and running around with three children, so 32 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:01,200 Speaker 1: he blames me for our back luster sex life and 33 00:02:01,320 --> 00:02:06,320 Speaker 1: not ever being in the mood. I've obliged him many 34 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:08,720 Speaker 1: nights and would just lie there trying not to fall 35 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:12,120 Speaker 1: asleep until the sex was over. But now, years later, 36 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:14,919 Speaker 1: and after all the cheating, it has affected my ability 37 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:18,000 Speaker 1: to perform in the bedroom. I've heard it's a mental thing, 38 00:02:18,120 --> 00:02:21,239 Speaker 1: but I'm not sure why I can't get excited or 39 00:02:21,240 --> 00:02:23,799 Speaker 1: in the mood. I know that if I can't please him, 40 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:26,799 Speaker 1: he's going to get it somewhere else. Just recently, we 41 00:02:26,880 --> 00:02:29,520 Speaker 1: got into a big argument and he yelled out that 42 00:02:29,639 --> 00:02:34,519 Speaker 1: I have some whack a kitty. He apologized a few 43 00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:38,560 Speaker 1: minutes later. But this is affecting my confidence. He refuses 44 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,919 Speaker 1: to go to therapy, So should I take my three 45 00:02:41,040 --> 00:02:45,760 Speaker 1: children and leave him? Okay, listen, you don't need therapy. 46 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,280 Speaker 1: You've mentioned therapy a few times in this letter. You 47 00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:51,520 Speaker 1: need a new man, that's what you need. He's not 48 00:02:51,639 --> 00:02:54,240 Speaker 1: deserving of you. I mean, what does he do besides 49 00:02:54,280 --> 00:02:58,680 Speaker 1: put you down and cheat? Ten years of this, ten 50 00:02:58,760 --> 00:03:00,800 Speaker 1: years of this you've been going through. It has to 51 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:05,680 Speaker 1: be enough, that you know, just say enough. This has 52 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:08,400 Speaker 1: to be enough for even the strongest and the most 53 00:03:08,440 --> 00:03:11,079 Speaker 1: confident woman wouldn't be able to deal with this all 54 00:03:11,080 --> 00:03:13,360 Speaker 1: the time. And here you are doing what so many 55 00:03:13,400 --> 00:03:18,160 Speaker 1: women do, blaming yourself. I mean, I just say, life happens. 56 00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,840 Speaker 1: Three kids in a full time job that's not easy 57 00:03:20,960 --> 00:03:24,280 Speaker 1: for anyone, and then he expects you to perform and 58 00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:26,480 Speaker 1: all of this and blah blah blah. When your man 59 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:29,800 Speaker 1: is not right, sex is the last thing on your mind. 60 00:03:29,840 --> 00:03:32,200 Speaker 1: Let me tell you that the only thing that you 61 00:03:32,280 --> 00:03:34,760 Speaker 1: were to blame for in this is staying with him, 62 00:03:34,840 --> 00:03:37,520 Speaker 1: in my opinion, for ten years, and for taking him 63 00:03:37,520 --> 00:03:42,160 Speaker 1: back repeatedly when he cheats on you, so you don't 64 00:03:42,160 --> 00:03:45,080 Speaker 1: give him an incentive to stop cheating or anything like that. 65 00:03:45,160 --> 00:03:47,840 Speaker 1: So I say to you, first things first, don't worry 66 00:03:47,840 --> 00:03:50,920 Speaker 1: about from whop to hop and all of that right now, 67 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,400 Speaker 1: forget all that. You can get that back. He doesn't 68 00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:57,840 Speaker 1: appreciate it or deserve it anyway. It's just time to 69 00:03:57,840 --> 00:03:59,920 Speaker 1: get back to yourself. I think you should do you 70 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:03,120 Speaker 1: boo right now. Start building up, Start restoring what you 71 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:06,440 Speaker 1: have allowed him to tear down in all these years. 72 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:11,480 Speaker 1: Fall in love with yourself again. Start putting yourself first. Okay, 73 00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:14,800 Speaker 1: yourself first, and watch him take notice. If not, don't 74 00:04:14,800 --> 00:04:17,919 Speaker 1: be afraid to get the kids and move on or 75 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:22,680 Speaker 1: put his trifling behind out Steve, you don't, surely I 76 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:27,200 Speaker 1: agree with every single thing you've said. Great advice to 77 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:31,640 Speaker 1: this woman. Of course, my angle is gonna be a 78 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:35,479 Speaker 1: little bit different. See, I know how men operate, and 79 00:04:35,600 --> 00:04:39,240 Speaker 1: what he's doing is the atypical thing when a man 80 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:44,320 Speaker 1: get busted or something. Here comes the reverse psychology, Here 81 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:48,880 Speaker 1: comes the why I did it? You know? No, it's 82 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:52,440 Speaker 1: thirty year old mother of three, been together ten years. 83 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:56,240 Speaker 1: He's asking to marry, but she's declined respectfully because she 84 00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:59,080 Speaker 1: feels like they need to go to counseling before they 85 00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:03,320 Speaker 1: get married because my confidence is at all time low 86 00:05:03,440 --> 00:05:07,520 Speaker 1: because he's cheated on her many times. Wait a minute, 87 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:11,479 Speaker 1: cheated on you many times? Why are you still in 88 00:05:11,480 --> 00:05:16,600 Speaker 1: the relationship? The marriage part, This ain't even a discussion. 89 00:05:17,600 --> 00:05:20,600 Speaker 1: If a man ain't gonna act right before you getting married, 90 00:05:20,960 --> 00:05:25,320 Speaker 1: what makes you think? What thing happens that makes you 91 00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:29,840 Speaker 1: think that he gonna change after you getting married? Remember, 92 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:33,480 Speaker 1: like I've said on this show several times, a minister 93 00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:37,080 Speaker 1: told me one time, when a man gets married, the 94 00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:40,200 Speaker 1: only thing that changes the day after the wedding is 95 00:05:40,240 --> 00:05:44,920 Speaker 1: the appearance of his left hand third finger. That's if 96 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:48,960 Speaker 1: he is what he was before you got married. Marriage 97 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:54,200 Speaker 1: doesn't change anything. Now, if a person you either practice 98 00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:56,960 Speaker 1: being married or you don't. You either getting ready used 99 00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:59,040 Speaker 1: to cut and cut your little strains out there or 100 00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:01,160 Speaker 1: you a little while old, so and get that out 101 00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:03,400 Speaker 1: the way for you get married. That's how you get married. 102 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:08,239 Speaker 1: You can't be cheating on this woman repeatedly, steady asking 103 00:06:08,240 --> 00:06:11,840 Speaker 1: her to marry you, marry you for what? Man? Are 104 00:06:11,880 --> 00:06:15,360 Speaker 1: you kidding me? And then every time you bust him, 105 00:06:15,560 --> 00:06:18,839 Speaker 1: his exact words are your sex is very boring and 106 00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:23,000 Speaker 1: you complain too much. Wait a minute, that's not why 107 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:26,520 Speaker 1: you're cheating on me. You're cheating on me because your 108 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:31,080 Speaker 1: ass is a low life. That's why you doing it. Man. Now, 109 00:06:31,080 --> 00:06:34,039 Speaker 1: when we come back, I have my weight that you 110 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:36,839 Speaker 1: should handle this. All right, coming up, we'll have first 111 00:06:36,839 --> 00:06:43,440 Speaker 1: you staying okay, oh okay. At twenty three after the hour, 112 00:06:43,920 --> 00:06:47,000 Speaker 1: subject of my Strawberry letter for today is my man 113 00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:51,000 Speaker 1: says I went from wop to hop. We'll get back 114 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:56,839 Speaker 1: into it right after this. You're listening show, all right, Steve, 115 00:06:56,880 --> 00:06:59,800 Speaker 1: come on, let's recap today's Strawberry letter. Subject my man 116 00:07:00,120 --> 00:07:04,600 Speaker 1: says I went from wop to hop. This letter right 117 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:07,600 Speaker 1: here kind of hurts. Shirley gave this woman some spot 118 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:11,120 Speaker 1: on advice that I agree with thousand percent. Thirty year 119 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:13,800 Speaker 1: old woman three children have been together with her man 120 00:07:13,960 --> 00:07:17,320 Speaker 1: ten years and she's asked he's asked her to marry 121 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:21,520 Speaker 1: him several times, but she's respectfully declined. Why you did 122 00:07:21,520 --> 00:07:23,760 Speaker 1: it respectfully? I don't know, because I found out he 123 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:25,800 Speaker 1: wasn't treating you with no respect at all. But you 124 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:28,680 Speaker 1: respectfully decline because you say you need to go to 125 00:07:28,800 --> 00:07:32,160 Speaker 1: therapy before you getting married because your confidence as an 126 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:37,480 Speaker 1: all time load, because he has cheated on you many times. Now, 127 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:41,920 Speaker 1: here's a thing. When you confront him, his exact words are, 128 00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:47,320 Speaker 1: your sex is very boring and you complain too much. 129 00:07:48,520 --> 00:07:53,760 Speaker 1: Wait a minute, that's why he's cheated on you many times. 130 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:59,280 Speaker 1: But he stayed with you for ten years, made three kids, 131 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:03,160 Speaker 1: and he's telling you that your sex is very boring. 132 00:08:03,360 --> 00:08:06,880 Speaker 1: He showed keep coming over that a lot for this 133 00:08:07,120 --> 00:08:13,080 Speaker 1: boring sex three kids. Now. When the new mag Stallion 134 00:08:13,120 --> 00:08:16,000 Speaker 1: and Cardi B song came out, he joked that I've 135 00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:22,680 Speaker 1: gone from wob to a hop hap and in the 136 00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:25,640 Speaker 1: words of his latter meeting, I have a horrible ass 137 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:33,920 Speaker 1: p Okay not dog. Really, this is mental abuse. I 138 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:38,720 Speaker 1: understand the woman's confidence being shattered, or understand that, but dog, 139 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:42,240 Speaker 1: So you're gonna use reverse psychology. So you're telling this 140 00:08:42,280 --> 00:08:44,760 Speaker 1: woman the reason you cheat because she got bad sex. 141 00:08:45,080 --> 00:08:48,280 Speaker 1: Wait a minute, and then, lady, Now, now you got close. Lady, 142 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:50,600 Speaker 1: here's where I started to have hope for you. My 143 00:08:50,760 --> 00:08:54,800 Speaker 1: response was, well, I wouldn't complain as much and would 144 00:08:54,840 --> 00:08:57,560 Speaker 1: do a better job in the bedroom if you were 145 00:08:57,679 --> 00:09:01,280 Speaker 1: half the man you used to be. Nah, that's why 146 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:03,719 Speaker 1: I want to get that in this letter. See, Oh, 147 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:07,400 Speaker 1: you stinging me talking about it. I got a horrible P. 148 00:09:08,240 --> 00:09:12,280 Speaker 1: Let's talk about chop see right now, See if you're 149 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:14,880 Speaker 1: gonna talk about my P, then we need to talk 150 00:09:14,880 --> 00:09:19,040 Speaker 1: about choke p. See. I might have a hop a 151 00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:22,280 Speaker 1: horrible ass P. But but you got something wrong with 152 00:09:22,320 --> 00:09:25,040 Speaker 1: you too, because you just said he had to man, 153 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:28,959 Speaker 1: he used to be. That's a lot smaller. You're scaring me. Stick. 154 00:09:29,400 --> 00:09:32,560 Speaker 1: So now you gotta lap. See you gotta halp. You 155 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,160 Speaker 1: got a horrible ass pe and he gotta lap. He 156 00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:37,760 Speaker 1: got a little ass pe. See what I'm laid. See 157 00:09:37,800 --> 00:09:42,439 Speaker 1: then what we got to do? We were we're doing initials. Now, Oh, 158 00:09:42,559 --> 00:09:46,320 Speaker 1: I gotta help. You gotta lap, You gotta little. Now 159 00:09:46,559 --> 00:09:49,000 Speaker 1: we're in here talking about each other. Pe. Let's spread 160 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:53,240 Speaker 1: the pee round. Make my funk to pee funk. I 161 00:09:53,400 --> 00:09:56,760 Speaker 1: want to get funk up. I want the bomb. I 162 00:09:56,800 --> 00:10:00,800 Speaker 1: want the pe funk. I want my funk funk. Oh, 163 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:04,120 Speaker 1: make my funk the pe funk. I want to get 164 00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:06,559 Speaker 1: funked up. That's what you are to play the next time, 165 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:09,120 Speaker 1: y'all head to the bathroom and the head to the bedroom. 166 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:12,160 Speaker 1: I want something to happen to me. But you ain't 167 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:17,520 Speaker 1: half the man you used to be, cause you the shrunk. Oh, 168 00:10:18,080 --> 00:10:20,839 Speaker 1: your fat ass stomach is leaning over your belt. I 169 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,679 Speaker 1: can't find it. You can't find it now you're over 170 00:10:23,760 --> 00:10:28,200 Speaker 1: here talking about mind horrible. It's cause you little. Now 171 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:31,600 Speaker 1: we're doing all. You can go or you can go lp. 172 00:10:32,280 --> 00:10:35,480 Speaker 1: You got a livesy old poker. See your poker is 173 00:10:35,559 --> 00:10:39,800 Speaker 1: livesy all. You can be a lap you gotta you 174 00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:42,680 Speaker 1: gotta limp ass poker. See you can use We could 175 00:10:42,679 --> 00:10:48,040 Speaker 1: dose initials all day. See one thing about it, ladies. 176 00:10:48,559 --> 00:10:52,240 Speaker 1: You can bruise your man's ego, or we're in the 177 00:10:52,360 --> 00:10:57,800 Speaker 1: ego bruising business. Yeah, you ain't as exciting in the 178 00:10:57,880 --> 00:11:01,880 Speaker 1: bedroom no more, sister, because he don't excite you. No mo. 179 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:06,640 Speaker 1: Yeah you don't need it, Sampy, you need it. Yeah, 180 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:08,400 Speaker 1: you need to give it to him like he giving 181 00:11:08,440 --> 00:11:11,760 Speaker 1: it to you. It ain't what it was because you 182 00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:17,240 Speaker 1: ain't what you was. You don't know what color shoes 183 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:19,680 Speaker 1: you got on, What color your shoes? You look straight down? 184 00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:23,400 Speaker 1: What color your shoes? You don't even know. I went 185 00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:26,560 Speaker 1: through that when I was pregnant. See you don't know that. See, 186 00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:28,680 Speaker 1: but men See it's okay for a woman to do 187 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:31,480 Speaker 1: that when she pregnant, y'all having baby in there. But 188 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:33,480 Speaker 1: some of us can't look down because we ain't even 189 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:35,520 Speaker 1: got no baby. We just look like we're in our 190 00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:39,520 Speaker 1: second tribal men. See, you got to bring this up 191 00:11:39,559 --> 00:11:41,800 Speaker 1: to him. You ain't got to be the only one 192 00:11:41,920 --> 00:11:45,600 Speaker 1: take a shot. And now, years later, after all the cheating, 193 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:48,800 Speaker 1: it's affected your ability to perform him in the bedroom. 194 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:51,600 Speaker 1: I've heard it's a mental thing, but I'm not sure 195 00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:53,720 Speaker 1: why I can't get excited or in the mood. Well, 196 00:11:53,760 --> 00:11:55,760 Speaker 1: let me help you. You can't get excited because he 197 00:11:55,800 --> 00:11:59,679 Speaker 1: ain't exciting you. He ain't doing nothing. And when he 198 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:04,720 Speaker 1: gets there, you about to fall asleep. All these his kids, 199 00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:07,720 Speaker 1: yeah they't his kids, then it must have been good 200 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:11,000 Speaker 1: at some point, that's what I said. That's what I said, 201 00:12:11,559 --> 00:12:14,960 Speaker 1: you know. And they all little kids because he could, 202 00:12:14,960 --> 00:12:20,559 Speaker 1: because he loved and he made little kids. All his kids, 203 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:24,080 Speaker 1: real little undersized down there at the school. That's why 204 00:12:24,080 --> 00:12:29,000 Speaker 1: I ain't known on them playing basketball, none of this, See, y'all. 205 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:31,400 Speaker 1: Gonnauner stand his ass now, y'all got in the big 206 00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:33,760 Speaker 1: ass argument. Recently, he yelled out that you got some 207 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:37,520 Speaker 1: whack ass kitty. Then he gonna apologize a few minutes later. 208 00:12:38,679 --> 00:12:44,320 Speaker 1: Well you well, well you got a whack ass Well 209 00:12:44,600 --> 00:12:48,760 Speaker 1: we can't. I just said it. Well, y'alls is whacked too, 210 00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:51,360 Speaker 1: So we're just in here, just both serving up just 211 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:55,720 Speaker 1: bad sex. Now where you're going, you gotta keep cheating 212 00:12:55,840 --> 00:12:57,920 Speaker 1: because every time you cheat with somebody, they don't want 213 00:12:57,920 --> 00:12:59,600 Speaker 1: it no more. So you gotta go get somebody else 214 00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:06,400 Speaker 1: cheats on Today Strawberry Letter at Steve Harvey FM, on 215 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:09,920 Speaker 1: Instagram and Facebook. Check out the Strawberry Letter podcast on demand. 216 00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:12,800 Speaker 1: Two coming up in forty six minutes after the hour. 217 00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:15,520 Speaker 1: You know what time it is, Junior Sports Talk. Right 218 00:13:15,559 --> 00:13:19,520 Speaker 1: after this, you're listening to the Stave Harvey Morning Show