1
00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:17,600
Speaker 1: Plan stalkers. Oh my god, I can't. Okay, So here's

2
00:00:17,600 --> 00:00:19,279
Speaker 1: the thing. We have to talk about plans. We have

3
00:00:19,360 --> 00:00:22,440
Speaker 1: to talk about plans and the difference between the people

4
00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:25,880
Speaker 1: who stalk you for plans and the people who don't

5
00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:28,560
Speaker 1: care about plans. And I'm sure that you both are

6
00:00:28,600 --> 00:00:33,640
Speaker 1: equally guilty. And this is sort of related to I

7
00:00:33,680 --> 00:00:35,720
Speaker 1: guess I could later do another rant on being a

8
00:00:35,720 --> 00:00:38,239
Speaker 1: good or bad friend, um and what the definition of

9
00:00:38,240 --> 00:00:40,480
Speaker 1: that is, but maybe we'll flow into that. Okay, So

10
00:00:40,960 --> 00:00:45,720
Speaker 1: I have a friend who for years, for decades, has

11
00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:49,760
Speaker 1: been a plan stalker. And what I mean is they

12
00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:52,840
Speaker 1: will say what are you doing? Are you around this weekend?

13
00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:57,000
Speaker 1: And then you say yes, And now you've entered the mafia. Yes,

14
00:00:57,160 --> 00:00:59,360
Speaker 1: I am okay. Do you want to do blah blah

15
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,680
Speaker 1: blah on Saturday? Or do you want to go somewhere Friday?

16
00:01:01,720 --> 00:01:03,360
Speaker 1: Do you want to make plans? And it seems super loose,

17
00:01:03,400 --> 00:01:05,840
Speaker 1: it's not that locked in, it's just now whatever, maybe

18
00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:10,560
Speaker 1: we'll grab dinner. Now you've entered the second realm of

19
00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:13,600
Speaker 1: the mafia. And then the weekend comes and then it

20
00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:15,360
Speaker 1: comes closer and it still feels safe, and then you

21
00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:21,120
Speaker 1: say yes, okay, Saturday. Now we are cooking. Now, the

22
00:01:21,200 --> 00:01:24,760
Speaker 1: texts are flying in the phone calls, the text the details,

23
00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:27,600
Speaker 1: where what time, when are we going or coming? Are

24
00:01:27,640 --> 00:01:29,280
Speaker 1: we eating or nightting? Are we drinking? Are we doing

25
00:01:29,319 --> 00:01:31,120
Speaker 1: a drink before? Let's do this? Should we go to

26
00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:32,720
Speaker 1: that place? I like that place. I wanted to try

27
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,200
Speaker 1: this place. I want the other place. I don't like

28
00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:36,240
Speaker 1: that place. I want to go back. Get me the

29
00:01:36,280 --> 00:01:38,240
Speaker 1: funk out of this plan now. I want out. Now.

30
00:01:38,280 --> 00:01:40,480
Speaker 1: I have panic attacks. Now, I have hives. I don't

31
00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:41,920
Speaker 1: want to be part of this. I don't know what

32
00:01:41,959 --> 00:01:44,399
Speaker 1: I signed up for. I didn't want this job. I

33
00:01:44,440 --> 00:01:46,919
Speaker 1: don't like it. I'm not gonna work. I'm not worthy,

34
00:01:46,959 --> 00:01:48,840
Speaker 1: I'm not good enough. I'm gonna cancel. I know I'm

35
00:01:48,880 --> 00:01:51,800
Speaker 1: gonna cancel that day. I have a fever, I have COVID,

36
00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:56,160
Speaker 1: I I am pregnant, I have twins. I can't do it.

37
00:01:56,200 --> 00:01:58,280
Speaker 1: I don't know. And then I start panicking on the

38
00:01:58,320 --> 00:02:00,600
Speaker 1: day of the plan because of the anxiety talking about

39
00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:02,920
Speaker 1: the plan that I start finding my I start digging

40
00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:05,280
Speaker 1: my way out of the hole. I just can't do it.

41
00:02:05,280 --> 00:02:08,880
Speaker 1: It's too much pressure. And so then that happens and

42
00:02:08,919 --> 00:02:10,799
Speaker 1: then I start to try to do it differently, and

43
00:02:10,840 --> 00:02:13,120
Speaker 1: I start to try Yeah, no, we're totally lose. I

44
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:14,800
Speaker 1: just I don't like to make a lot of plans,

45
00:02:14,800 --> 00:02:17,200
Speaker 1: so like, I'm not a big planner, and my whole

46
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,480
Speaker 1: life is planned within an inch of its life. So

47
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:22,160
Speaker 1: let's just keep it. You have no problem, no problem.

48
00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:24,560
Speaker 1: But then somehow it starts keeping in. Okay, Hi, what's so,

49
00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:27,800
Speaker 1: what's the story for tonight? I'm like, Hi, I'm going

50
00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:29,600
Speaker 1: to get a restraining order. I need a t R oh,

51
00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:32,400
Speaker 1: and you need to stay fifteen feet away from your

52
00:02:32,400 --> 00:02:35,960
Speaker 1: telephone with my phone number in it. So I realized

53
00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:39,280
Speaker 1: this is me being insane also like or maybe solely

54
00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:44,200
Speaker 1: I can't explain it. So one night, and this happens

55
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:46,880
Speaker 1: to certain people too. There's some people you know, you

56
00:02:46,919 --> 00:02:48,720
Speaker 1: make the plan and you've locked yourself in and you

57
00:02:48,760 --> 00:02:50,399
Speaker 1: don't know what you're doing. And that's the same type

58
00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:51,840
Speaker 1: of person that you have to make the plan with.

59
00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:55,079
Speaker 1: Otherwise there is no plan. So it's not like I

60
00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:59,359
Speaker 1: like the people and my world are people that it's

61
00:02:59,440 --> 00:03:01,919
Speaker 1: just like, you know, whatever, we'll talk that day, cool,

62
00:03:02,040 --> 00:03:04,000
Speaker 1: I'll check in with you, and I make that plan

63
00:03:04,120 --> 00:03:06,640
Speaker 1: so many times by the way, I'm nice, I'm free,

64
00:03:06,639 --> 00:03:10,320
Speaker 1: I'm a homebody, and I'm really really very close to agoraphobic.

65
00:03:10,520 --> 00:03:12,560
Speaker 1: Everybody that works with me or knows me, or has

66
00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:15,520
Speaker 1: lived with me, and even introverts says that I am

67
00:03:15,560 --> 00:03:19,040
Speaker 1: the single greatest home by the day I have ever encountered,

68
00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,680
Speaker 1: short of someone that's like in a straight jacket in

69
00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:24,639
Speaker 1: a padded cell. Like I seem social because I'm gregarious

70
00:03:24,639 --> 00:03:26,720
Speaker 1: and I'm sarcastic, and some find me humorous. But I

71
00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:28,880
Speaker 1: don't leave my house and I don't leave my pajamas

72
00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:33,120
Speaker 1: unless I'm being paid. I mean, except with the exception

73
00:03:33,120 --> 00:03:34,720
Speaker 1: of doing things to my daughter, but putting hair and

74
00:03:34,720 --> 00:03:38,080
Speaker 1: makeup on, that's like being paid. Okay, that's why I

75
00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:42,960
Speaker 1: was built for a podcast. So one night I was

76
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:47,520
Speaker 1: going with Paul to work doesn't count if it's a

77
00:03:47,560 --> 00:03:49,520
Speaker 1: work plan. And I still try to get out of

78
00:03:49,520 --> 00:03:51,720
Speaker 1: all of those and make them shorter and make it

79
00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:54,000
Speaker 1: the window tighter, and stack it, stack it, stack it,

80
00:03:54,440 --> 00:03:55,920
Speaker 1: so I only have to work on that one day

81
00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:57,520
Speaker 1: and put it in this window. And I don't want

82
00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,680
Speaker 1: to breathe for one second or eater p I just

83
00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:01,360
Speaker 1: want to be done and then get to be free.

84
00:04:01,600 --> 00:04:03,600
Speaker 1: I'm not that person that wants to be busy. I'm

85
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,680
Speaker 1: that person that wants to be free. I'm not that

86
00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:07,400
Speaker 1: person that wants to be working. I'm that person that

87
00:04:07,440 --> 00:04:10,360
Speaker 1: wants to be vacation and cocktailing what walking on the beach,

88
00:04:10,440 --> 00:04:14,480
Speaker 1: doing yoga, laughing and and buying things online. That's who

89
00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:16,920
Speaker 1: I really am. And pumpkin picking and jumping in the

90
00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:19,560
Speaker 1: ocean at all of that. But like this, I don't

91
00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:21,640
Speaker 1: count his work because this is me ranting, and I

92
00:04:21,680 --> 00:04:24,360
Speaker 1: do need a place to have an outlet. So I'm

93
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:28,960
Speaker 1: going with Paul to go to something that Kelly RiPP

94
00:04:28,960 --> 00:04:30,600
Speaker 1: But invited me to. It was right when I had

95
00:04:30,640 --> 00:04:35,920
Speaker 1: done the today. Uh, Kelly and Ryan and um, they

96
00:04:35,960 --> 00:04:38,239
Speaker 1: invited me to something at Gelman's house, which is business

97
00:04:38,240 --> 00:04:40,640
Speaker 1: to me, and it's business meets pleasure and it means

98
00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:42,279
Speaker 1: it's a reason to get dressed and look cute and

99
00:04:42,279 --> 00:04:44,920
Speaker 1: see Kelly. But it's also slash business and it's also

100
00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:47,520
Speaker 1: slash obligation because you know, I'm kissing the ring of

101
00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:49,680
Speaker 1: Gelman who puts me on the show, and it's just

102
00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:51,880
Speaker 1: you're playing the whole game and you're running, you're knocking

103
00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:54,600
Speaker 1: out all of those pins one bowling ball because forty

104
00:04:54,680 --> 00:04:56,920
Speaker 1: five people that you won't see for two years will

105
00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:59,400
Speaker 1: be there that one day, and you are just stacking.

106
00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:01,280
Speaker 1: You just get in there. You're networking, you're having fun,

107
00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:03,440
Speaker 1: you're having a cocktail. You put on some lashes, you

108
00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:05,440
Speaker 1: wore a nice bag, you get a compliment on your shoes,

109
00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:08,880
Speaker 1: you someone took your picture, You did it all, mentioned

110
00:05:08,920 --> 00:05:11,039
Speaker 1: it all. So I say to my friend who I

111
00:05:11,040 --> 00:05:13,520
Speaker 1: had had a plan with on Friday night with her husband.

112
00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:16,520
Speaker 1: She says, you want to have plans Friday night. I said, well,

113
00:05:16,560 --> 00:05:19,919
Speaker 1: I yes, And then I said to her, I actually

114
00:05:19,960 --> 00:05:22,440
Speaker 1: got invited to something. I'm always honest, always straightforward. I

115
00:05:22,480 --> 00:05:24,680
Speaker 1: don't care what anyone thinks. I'm not a liar. I'm not.

116
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,479
Speaker 1: I just tell the truth. I don't want to do this,

117
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:28,159
Speaker 1: or I want to do it, or this is what's happening.

118
00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:30,839
Speaker 1: So I got invited by Kelly and Ryan to go

119
00:05:30,880 --> 00:05:33,200
Speaker 1: to Gellman's on Saturday, and I really want to go,

120
00:05:33,279 --> 00:05:35,240
Speaker 1: and I should go because it's good for me and

121
00:05:35,279 --> 00:05:37,560
Speaker 1: because I do their show and I never do anything,

122
00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:39,960
Speaker 1: and it gets whatever and it's blah blah blah things

123
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:43,200
Speaker 1: I just told you. So I said, so we can't

124
00:05:43,240 --> 00:05:45,000
Speaker 1: go out Friday night. She goes, well, anyway, maybe it's

125
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:46,679
Speaker 1: done early, and maybe you'll want to go to dinner

126
00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:49,720
Speaker 1: because we're just around. And I said, oh, okay, I

127
00:05:49,760 --> 00:05:51,520
Speaker 1: don't want to hold you up and make plan. We're

128
00:05:51,560 --> 00:05:53,719
Speaker 1: not making other plans. We won't make other plan if

129
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:57,320
Speaker 1: you're done early, we'll be just around. We're not doing anything.

130
00:05:57,880 --> 00:06:00,680
Speaker 1: Quote unquote Okay, well then, but I'm not gonna make

131
00:06:00,680 --> 00:06:01,880
Speaker 1: a problem. I don't know. We could go out to

132
00:06:01,920 --> 00:06:03,520
Speaker 1: dinner with them after, they could ask us to dinner

133
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:06,160
Speaker 1: after we would go, or who knows, or maybe we're

134
00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:09,160
Speaker 1: buzzed and I don't know. Okay, no worries. We're not

135
00:06:09,200 --> 00:06:12,240
Speaker 1: doing anything. Just you can call us at any point. Okay.

136
00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,280
Speaker 1: We're in the middle of the party and I decide,

137
00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:18,560
Speaker 1: let's be cool, let's be nice, let's do it. We're here,

138
00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:21,320
Speaker 1: we're ready, dressed, we already had a couple of cocktails.

139
00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:25,239
Speaker 1: Let's go be social. So I text my friend and said,

140
00:06:26,480 --> 00:06:30,760
Speaker 1: we can meet you for dinner. As Julia Roberts said

141
00:06:30,760 --> 00:06:35,040
Speaker 1: in Pretty Woman, Big mistake. Huge. Now we're at the party,

142
00:06:35,400 --> 00:06:39,479
Speaker 1: my phone starts blowing up, ringing, ringing. It's one my

143
00:06:39,520 --> 00:06:42,839
Speaker 1: fucking phone is ringing, Paul's pocket ringing. We're looking at

144
00:06:42,839 --> 00:06:44,880
Speaker 1: each other, We're talking to some We're talking to Noah,

145
00:06:44,880 --> 00:06:47,840
Speaker 1: who owns Marquee. Then we're talking at Tamin Hall. Then

146
00:06:47,880 --> 00:06:51,920
Speaker 1: we're talking at Kelly's husband. Then we're talking to um

147
00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:55,560
Speaker 1: Ali went Worth, George Stephanopolis's wife who I love and

148
00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:58,960
Speaker 1: like it's Gellman. His wife is great, like interesting people

149
00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:02,599
Speaker 1: like this is a whole party. So now my phone's

150
00:07:02,600 --> 00:07:04,919
Speaker 1: blowing up. His phone's blowing up. I'm in the moment,

151
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:07,240
Speaker 1: we're having fun. I'm like, here we fucking go. The

152
00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:10,680
Speaker 1: mafia is calling. Now we have to go put a

153
00:07:10,760 --> 00:07:13,440
Speaker 1: hit out on someone. We are on time or always

154
00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:15,440
Speaker 1: on time. The reservation was at eight o'clock. Okay, it's

155
00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:20,120
Speaker 1: byably like thirty to eight or forty five minutes before whatever.

156
00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:22,600
Speaker 1: Then the text, the text blowing up, the text blowing up,

157
00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:25,960
Speaker 1: text blowing up. Now it's like eight o'clock and we're finally,

158
00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:29,040
Speaker 1: uh like five minutes away. There, we're gonna be five

159
00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:31,560
Speaker 1: minutes late, okay for this thing that started eight o'clock

160
00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:35,280
Speaker 1: fifty text. I pick up the phone, like, what what

161
00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:38,320
Speaker 1: we're with you? We're coming, We're on the way what

162
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,520
Speaker 1: I don't know. It's not me, it's my husband, and

163
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:41,800
Speaker 1: he wants to know where you are with the tables

164
00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:46,680
Speaker 1: and wherever. Please relax, get out, have sex, get a vibrator,

165
00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:50,200
Speaker 1: do something, run, have an orgasm, eat a chocolate sunday,

166
00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:54,400
Speaker 1: have a fucking cocktail, have a three way, do an orgy,

167
00:07:54,560 --> 00:07:57,240
Speaker 1: do something. Leave me the funk Alona, Mama, goddamn way.

168
00:07:57,280 --> 00:08:03,920
Speaker 1: I'm never making plans again. So that's a really good

169
00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:06,560
Speaker 1: friend of mine who I love. And I later said

170
00:08:06,560 --> 00:08:11,840
Speaker 1: to her, you gotta, you gotta, we gotta talk about

171
00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:16,320
Speaker 1: this like you gotta take it easy because you know

172
00:08:16,640 --> 00:08:18,360
Speaker 1: it was not me, it was my husband. It's blah

173
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:21,000
Speaker 1: blah blah. Like no, there's been going on for decades.

174
00:08:21,040 --> 00:08:23,400
Speaker 1: You worry about the plan. You've gotta stop. And I

175
00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:25,000
Speaker 1: love you and you don't have to take my advice.

176
00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:28,880
Speaker 1: But I need to be loosey, goosey, Okay. I can't

177
00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:32,880
Speaker 1: have like this go on. And you know what, it's

178
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:36,880
Speaker 1: never happened again. She is no longer a plan stalker.

179
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:40,640
Speaker 1: I did a plan stalker in her invention and it worked.

180
00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:43,120
Speaker 1: More plans with her or no plans and actually knows

181
00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:45,000
Speaker 1: not to make plans. But by the way, as a result,

182
00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:46,920
Speaker 1: I made plans with her because I've been like, hey,

183
00:08:46,960 --> 00:08:47,839
Speaker 1: I want to do this. I want to come on

184
00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:49,080
Speaker 1: the boat. I want to go for a walk on it,

185
00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:52,760
Speaker 1: because now the news is off my neck. Thoughts. Do

186
00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:57,040
Speaker 1: any of you know any plan stalkers or equally as

187
00:08:57,080 --> 00:08:59,560
Speaker 1: offensive people like me who do not want to be

188
00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:11,160
Speaker 1: comm did to anything. My guest today's Brookshields, Mom, actress,

189
00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:15,559
Speaker 1: Broadway performer, and model. We cover everything from how her

190
00:09:15,559 --> 00:09:18,080
Speaker 1: parents kept her humble while she was a famous teen,

191
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,840
Speaker 1: to take in control of her career and finances in

192
00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:24,520
Speaker 1: her twenties, and now how her relationship has changed with fame,

193
00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:27,720
Speaker 1: vanity and of course social media. We are talking about

194
00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:30,680
Speaker 1: why chasing relevance is so dangerous and the importance of

195
00:09:30,720 --> 00:09:40,440
Speaker 1: doing things for the joy of it. How are you

196
00:09:41,360 --> 00:09:45,800
Speaker 1: nice to see you? So nice to see you? So pretty? Oh?

197
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:50,600
Speaker 1: Thank you? I got a glam squad. I did, I did?

198
00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:53,520
Speaker 1: I had to. Um, I needed my hair blown out

199
00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:58,640
Speaker 1: and done because we're flying to England tonight and um

200
00:09:58,679 --> 00:10:01,160
Speaker 1: we have to go to a wedding and so I

201
00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:04,240
Speaker 1: want to like head and just keep it there and

202
00:10:05,120 --> 00:10:08,480
Speaker 1: try to make it on. I'll put rollers on the plane. Yeah,

203
00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:11,959
Speaker 1: that would be very pretty well, thank you for doing this.

204
00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:15,440
Speaker 1: I'll start just by asking you, are you were famous

205
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:18,440
Speaker 1: at a young age you sort of ever resentful of

206
00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:21,240
Speaker 1: that path being planned for you? You know, we often

207
00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:23,319
Speaker 1: say people who are you probably say about your kids,

208
00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:25,319
Speaker 1: they didn't choose this. They didn't ask for this life

209
00:10:25,400 --> 00:10:27,360
Speaker 1: or putting a mic on kids on reality shows, they

210
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:30,640
Speaker 1: didn't ask for this. So you're literally the quintessential earliest

211
00:10:30,679 --> 00:10:32,600
Speaker 1: example of that that I can think of. So what

212
00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:36,680
Speaker 1: about that? Um? I never resented it because I didn't

213
00:10:36,679 --> 00:10:40,400
Speaker 1: know life without it. So and you know, it wasn't

214
00:10:40,559 --> 00:10:42,959
Speaker 1: It wasn't as if, oh, I wanted to be an

215
00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:46,480
Speaker 1: actress and then I became a famous actress and then

216
00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,600
Speaker 1: all of a sudden I lost my privacy. You know,

217
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:53,120
Speaker 1: I basically never had privacy. You know, my my um

218
00:10:54,280 --> 00:10:59,400
Speaker 1: my first period was put on People magazine. You know that,

219
00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:02,600
Speaker 1: you know mean it was It was actually not correct

220
00:11:02,679 --> 00:11:04,960
Speaker 1: to which is interesting. That's what I was more mad about.

221
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:08,600
Speaker 1: I was like, it wasn't even true. Um, But so

222
00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:11,400
Speaker 1: I I didn't have what I see in a lot

223
00:11:11,480 --> 00:11:16,559
Speaker 1: of um people who go from relative anonymity to fame.

224
00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:20,319
Speaker 1: You know, so I it didn't rob me in that way.

225
00:11:20,720 --> 00:11:25,320
Speaker 1: And the odd part about it was it was it

226
00:11:25,920 --> 00:11:28,800
Speaker 1: there was a part of it that grew with an

227
00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:31,880
Speaker 1: out of so it's I'd been modeling my whole life,

228
00:11:32,400 --> 00:11:37,600
Speaker 1: and then that grew into the eighties modeling, which then

229
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:41,040
Speaker 1: grew into Calvin's and and and all that, so that

230
00:11:41,120 --> 00:11:45,080
Speaker 1: it did have sort of a path where you it's

231
00:11:45,120 --> 00:11:49,559
Speaker 1: not as much about fame as it is about um,

232
00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:55,600
Speaker 1: notoriety and success for something you're doing. So my opinion

233
00:11:55,679 --> 00:11:59,720
Speaker 1: was I was selling these genes and they made the

234
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,920
Speaker 1: price and they made the sales go up, and that

235
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:05,280
Speaker 1: gave me pride because I'd done my job. Or if

236
00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:08,240
Speaker 1: Blue Lagoon was a box office or something, I did

237
00:12:08,280 --> 00:12:14,360
Speaker 1: my job. I was a dutiful student, kid follower, rule follower,

238
00:12:14,559 --> 00:12:17,600
Speaker 1: and the rewards that I got work in the success

239
00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:20,559
Speaker 1: of what I was doing with a bunch of other people,

240
00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:21,640
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? So it was like

241
00:12:21,679 --> 00:12:25,200
Speaker 1: that it always came before me. And in my private life,

242
00:12:25,720 --> 00:12:29,040
Speaker 1: my mom never let me um out of the house.

243
00:12:29,080 --> 00:12:31,560
Speaker 1: Now just kidding, UM, I should have not let her

244
00:12:31,559 --> 00:12:33,120
Speaker 1: out of the house. That that would have been a

245
00:12:33,160 --> 00:12:37,679
Speaker 1: better move. Um. My mom never let me move to California.

246
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:41,480
Speaker 1: Get my high school equivalent C test. Um, you know,

247
00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:44,360
Speaker 1: go live the life and and just be an actress,

248
00:12:44,400 --> 00:12:46,320
Speaker 1: be a child actress, and that's all that I was

249
00:12:46,360 --> 00:12:49,000
Speaker 1: going to be. We stayed in New York City. I

250
00:12:49,840 --> 00:12:53,080
Speaker 1: we went to regular schools all through grade school, and

251
00:12:53,120 --> 00:12:56,000
Speaker 1: then I went to Dwight Englewood High School, and I

252
00:12:56,080 --> 00:12:59,880
Speaker 1: was surrounded by not one actress except for Laura Linney,

253
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:02,280
Speaker 1: and we were in grade school together for three years.

254
00:13:02,320 --> 00:13:05,800
Speaker 1: But and we were very good friends still. Um, So

255
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:09,840
Speaker 1: there was this, and then my father's life didn't acknowledge

256
00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:13,880
Speaker 1: anything that I did professionally. They never went to see

257
00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:18,520
Speaker 1: any of my movies. They only my dad and my

258
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:22,320
Speaker 1: stepmom and my sisters only came to see me when

259
00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:25,600
Speaker 1: I was on Broadway, so thirty years, you know later.

260
00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:31,120
Speaker 1: So I grew up with this compartmentalized way of living

261
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:33,800
Speaker 1: with my mom. It was bohemian in New York City,

262
00:13:33,840 --> 00:13:37,240
Speaker 1: and we were taking doing photo shoots and photographers lofts

263
00:13:37,280 --> 00:13:40,000
Speaker 1: and going to studio picked before and it was fabulous.

264
00:13:40,559 --> 00:13:43,880
Speaker 1: And my dad's house was dinner at a certain time,

265
00:13:43,960 --> 00:13:47,400
Speaker 1: kids in the kitchen, you know, adults have their cocktail hour.

266
00:13:47,600 --> 00:13:50,680
Speaker 1: And I am not famous. I am not recognized. I'm

267
00:13:50,720 --> 00:13:57,560
Speaker 1: not special. Do not do anything to bring attention to yourself. Interesting. Well,

268
00:13:57,640 --> 00:13:59,520
Speaker 1: I think the most interesting thing that you said to

269
00:13:59,559 --> 00:14:02,840
Speaker 1: me was that it didn't matter whether you were born

270
00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:08,480
Speaker 1: into academia or any other world. You created a path

271
00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:11,880
Speaker 1: and just had some sort of internal instinct or from

272
00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:14,760
Speaker 1: your parents to work hard, to understand the putting one

273
00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:17,280
Speaker 1: front in front of the other and shifting and pivoting.

274
00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:20,280
Speaker 1: Even at a young age, you were creating a success

275
00:14:20,320 --> 00:14:23,080
Speaker 1: in different arenas. One was modeling and selling the jeans,

276
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:25,760
Speaker 1: another one was box office. And so that's true, it's

277
00:14:25,760 --> 00:14:29,960
Speaker 1: not it's all into And it also preceded me, do

278
00:14:30,040 --> 00:14:32,640
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? It gave me one layer

279
00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:36,920
Speaker 1: of separation from the craziness of it. I understand. But

280
00:14:37,160 --> 00:14:39,440
Speaker 1: we had to do it. You were the you were

281
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:42,160
Speaker 1: the work. You were the worker. You were you were

282
00:14:42,200 --> 00:14:46,000
Speaker 1: the rainmaker. And being pretty does not make rain in

283
00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:49,560
Speaker 1: and of itself. It won't last. I mean, it can

284
00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:50,920
Speaker 1: do it for a minute, but it's a it's a

285
00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:52,400
Speaker 1: flash in the path. So I find that to be

286
00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:56,880
Speaker 1: to be um interesting. I know, yeah, exactly why I

287
00:14:56,920 --> 00:15:00,600
Speaker 1: always ridiculous. I mean, I have I a photo shoot

288
00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:04,200
Speaker 1: yesterday and you know, everybody's starting to get like, you know,

289
00:15:04,280 --> 00:15:08,840
Speaker 1: delirious at fourteenth hour, and I don't know how to

290
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:12,200
Speaker 1: let that take over me. I just go harder, you know,

291
00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:14,800
Speaker 1: Yes I'll do I'll jump in the ocean at at

292
00:15:14,920 --> 00:15:17,360
Speaker 1: you know, eight o'clock at night and we'll get that picture.

293
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:19,920
Speaker 1: And yes, I'll do that. And oh, yes, this hurts,

294
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:23,600
Speaker 1: but it's okay. There's just a way of working and

295
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:28,120
Speaker 1: a work ethic that I was so I prided myself

296
00:15:28,200 --> 00:15:31,320
Speaker 1: on because I got rewarded by it. I was approved of.

297
00:15:31,960 --> 00:15:34,640
Speaker 1: People liked me. You know, I gotta I got a

298
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:37,680
Speaker 1: gold star. It stays with you. And it's interesting because

299
00:15:37,720 --> 00:15:40,480
Speaker 1: I always say, it's not about Instagram filters, it's not

300
00:15:40,600 --> 00:15:43,720
Speaker 1: about fame. You cannot be successful if you don't work hard.

301
00:15:43,720 --> 00:15:46,760
Speaker 1: So it's very comforting to entrepreneurs, butting entrepreneurs to say

302
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:48,800
Speaker 1: to them, you can have all that other stuff and

303
00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:51,040
Speaker 1: that all is the frosting, but the cake is the

304
00:15:51,080 --> 00:15:53,400
Speaker 1: old school hard work ethic. And you've talked a lot

305
00:15:53,440 --> 00:15:54,960
Speaker 1: about your relationship with your mother, so I don't want

306
00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:57,520
Speaker 1: to drone on about that, but where do you think

307
00:15:57,560 --> 00:16:00,360
Speaker 1: that that drive came for her to want that for

308
00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:03,240
Speaker 1: you so young, Like, why did she want that for you?

309
00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:05,200
Speaker 1: Or was she wanting it for her? Did you think

310
00:16:05,520 --> 00:16:08,520
Speaker 1: this isn't for me, this is for you. No, we

311
00:16:08,520 --> 00:16:11,920
Speaker 1: were us against the world. We were the duo and

312
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:14,840
Speaker 1: the team. And she was divorced when I was five

313
00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:18,280
Speaker 1: months old from my father said I don't you won't

314
00:16:18,440 --> 00:16:20,680
Speaker 1: have to pay anything, but put this kid through school.

315
00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:23,720
Speaker 1: That's all she wanted. They had a very amicable Neither

316
00:16:23,760 --> 00:16:27,080
Speaker 1: one of them ever said anything bad about the other person.

317
00:16:27,680 --> 00:16:32,800
Speaker 1: And I um, she was she was an alcoholic. That

318
00:16:32,840 --> 00:16:35,960
Speaker 1: was the toughest part of of living with her. But

319
00:16:36,120 --> 00:16:39,400
Speaker 1: she was very, very poor. She was from Yark, New Jersey.

320
00:16:39,920 --> 00:16:43,920
Speaker 1: She wanted to invent herself, otherwise she did not. She

321
00:16:43,960 --> 00:16:48,800
Speaker 1: wanted to get across that that water and and form

322
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:52,600
Speaker 1: herself into an Upper East Side woman who wears pucci

323
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:56,760
Speaker 1: and is cooft and beautiful and intelligent. And she had

324
00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:59,400
Speaker 1: street smart at the same time, and she would try

325
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:01,320
Speaker 1: to make up for the fact that she didn't go

326
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:05,920
Speaker 1: to college by knowing all the manners and knowing every

327
00:17:05,920 --> 00:17:08,640
Speaker 1: She did it. And she really did it. I mean

328
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:11,320
Speaker 1: my dad, you know, fell fell for her. And she

329
00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:13,320
Speaker 1: was in the right place at the right time, and

330
00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:17,120
Speaker 1: and she was basically welcomed and you know this other

331
00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:19,320
Speaker 1: side of life, which was like the beach club or

332
00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:24,600
Speaker 1: famous places like that. And then here she has this baby, right,

333
00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:29,199
Speaker 1: and the baby is hers. It's unconditionally hers. You know,

334
00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:32,320
Speaker 1: her father died. Her mother was a horror of a

335
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:36,960
Speaker 1: human being. The you know, she was basically rather estranged

336
00:17:37,119 --> 00:17:41,399
Speaker 1: as eventually from her siblings, and she was alone. And

337
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:44,520
Speaker 1: you wouldn't really ever know anything really personal about my

338
00:17:44,600 --> 00:17:47,280
Speaker 1: mom if you really think about it. She never dive

339
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:52,880
Speaker 1: al It turns out my mom alcoholic. My mom, I'm

340
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:57,080
Speaker 1: your mother. Okay, so you were you must have been

341
00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:01,760
Speaker 1: a baby when you well, I'm yeah, no, I understand

342
00:18:01,800 --> 00:18:03,720
Speaker 1: a lot of that. Well. And so your father came

343
00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:07,760
Speaker 1: from uh means meaning that was a different world, Okay, Okay,

344
00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:11,399
Speaker 1: he was. He went to UM University of Pennsylvania. He

345
00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:15,080
Speaker 1: was Upper East side. His his father really never made

346
00:18:15,119 --> 00:18:18,000
Speaker 1: his own money, but his father always married really wealthy women.

347
00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:23,399
Speaker 1: Um and and so my father was in that world.

348
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:25,439
Speaker 1: You know, he went to prep school and he was

349
00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:30,960
Speaker 1: groomed to, you know, marry a proctealer or somebody, you know,

350
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:33,680
Speaker 1: and then of course he falls in love with Terry

351
00:18:33,760 --> 00:18:38,760
Speaker 1: from Newark, which it's not fitting into the plans. She

352
00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:42,040
Speaker 1: sort of cut cut him loose, um because she knew

353
00:18:42,560 --> 00:18:44,840
Speaker 1: he was gonna she was you can't fire me a

354
00:18:44,920 --> 00:18:47,439
Speaker 1: quick person. You know she would she would break her

355
00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:52,600
Speaker 1: own heart to spare herself from you breaking. I understand again,

356
00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:56,720
Speaker 1: I'm your mother. Okay, great, so so um, the question

357
00:18:56,800 --> 00:19:01,600
Speaker 1: is what is your relationship to money and success? What

358
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:04,280
Speaker 1: is what is your perception of money and success? Do

359
00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:06,679
Speaker 1: you have noise about it? Do your how do you

360
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:08,800
Speaker 1: how do you work that out with your kids? A

361
00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:11,159
Speaker 1: having money made it your own? How do it your

362
00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:14,280
Speaker 1: whole life? It sounds like because you started making Um,

363
00:19:15,119 --> 00:19:20,160
Speaker 1: I actually lost almost everything, not one but two times

364
00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:24,000
Speaker 1: because for as much as we made, it was different.

365
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:26,560
Speaker 1: It was a different time. But my mom and I

366
00:19:26,640 --> 00:19:30,840
Speaker 1: just bought stuff. So you do this movie. We can

367
00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:34,040
Speaker 1: get a house in New Jersey. You do this. We

368
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:37,040
Speaker 1: we can get a car, you do that, we can

369
00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:40,520
Speaker 1: get this. So it went into this pot and you know,

370
00:19:40,800 --> 00:19:43,719
Speaker 1: she was my manager but didn't take a salary. And

371
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,720
Speaker 1: whatever we had was just you know, you could own

372
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:48,720
Speaker 1: a tree. You can have a house in New Jersey

373
00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:53,040
Speaker 1: and have a tree. And she was all about property.

374
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:59,560
Speaker 1: So at one point we had five properties and no capital. None.

375
00:20:00,280 --> 00:20:03,920
Speaker 1: She would she she was this mix of being totally

376
00:20:03,960 --> 00:20:06,920
Speaker 1: bad with money. As long as she could have something,

377
00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:09,360
Speaker 1: you know, she could have credit card dead and as

378
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:11,320
Speaker 1: long as she could have the thing in her hand,

379
00:20:12,480 --> 00:20:14,920
Speaker 1: she would it was. It was working out for her,

380
00:20:15,520 --> 00:20:18,960
Speaker 1: and you know, I was watching this all start to

381
00:20:19,040 --> 00:20:21,760
Speaker 1: catch up to both of us. So I had to

382
00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:27,920
Speaker 1: legally and emotionally, which was the hardest part, separate from

383
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:30,399
Speaker 1: her so that I could legally sell some of the

384
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:34,160
Speaker 1: property so that we could become more liquid. And oh,

385
00:20:34,840 --> 00:20:40,480
Speaker 1: I was seven, I really was. Later I was seventeen

386
00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:44,440
Speaker 1: when I first started realizing that she would never really

387
00:20:44,440 --> 00:20:47,440
Speaker 1: talk about investments. We sort of had this person who

388
00:20:47,480 --> 00:20:49,840
Speaker 1: helped us and we would sign papers and that was it.

389
00:20:49,960 --> 00:20:52,280
Speaker 1: But there was no education. She didn't know. We were

390
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:54,080
Speaker 1: flying by the seat of our pants. And then it

391
00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:58,480
Speaker 1: wasn't really until in my late twenties that I said

392
00:20:59,080 --> 00:21:02,680
Speaker 1: this is gonna I'm gonna be destroyed by this because

393
00:21:03,200 --> 00:21:06,240
Speaker 1: I'm gonna I'm starting to, you know, do an escafee

394
00:21:06,280 --> 00:21:12,199
Speaker 1: commercials in in France for a Japanese company, like and

395
00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:15,560
Speaker 1: I'm you know, and I'm doing stuff. That's so dis

396
00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:18,760
Speaker 1: ingenuous to who I wanted to know. It sounds like

397
00:21:18,760 --> 00:21:22,600
Speaker 1: you were disorganized. Disorganized, I didn't have an agent. We

398
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:25,120
Speaker 1: just needed money. So if they're gonna offer you that thing.

399
00:21:25,200 --> 00:21:27,480
Speaker 1: In Japan, there was no through life. I understand that.

400
00:21:27,520 --> 00:21:30,399
Speaker 1: There wasn't a career, you know, there wasn't. I just

401
00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:33,199
Speaker 1: worked in this movie. You just want to here go

402
00:21:33,320 --> 00:21:35,280
Speaker 1: on the Broadway, that would be a good next move. No,

403
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:39,320
Speaker 1: there was no structure. But we were living the highlife,

404
00:21:39,560 --> 00:21:42,680
Speaker 1: you know. I mean we had She bought us jewelry

405
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:46,800
Speaker 1: and cars and houses and and we She gave everything

406
00:21:46,840 --> 00:21:49,359
Speaker 1: to people too. She was extremely generous. She was the

407
00:21:49,440 --> 00:21:53,640
Speaker 1: least cheap person that I had ever really come into

408
00:21:53,680 --> 00:21:58,280
Speaker 1: contact with, but the worst with money, which is probably fine. Well,

409
00:21:58,359 --> 00:22:02,160
Speaker 1: I say it's funny because is I say to people

410
00:22:02,560 --> 00:22:05,320
Speaker 1: this guy Breck said to me, you can make a

411
00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:07,600
Speaker 1: lifestyle out of a life, but you can't make a

412
00:22:07,680 --> 00:22:11,160
Speaker 1: life out of a lifestyle. And so many people listening

413
00:22:11,680 --> 00:22:14,000
Speaker 1: are probably working and making money and figure out which

414
00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:16,520
Speaker 1: way to go. That you said through line is very

415
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:19,520
Speaker 1: interesting to me because that's like the centerpiece of knowing

416
00:22:19,560 --> 00:22:21,320
Speaker 1: what you're doing, and it could be in any career,

417
00:22:21,359 --> 00:22:23,680
Speaker 1: what is the brand? And the brand word brand is

418
00:22:23,720 --> 00:22:27,040
Speaker 1: over overused, but what is the theme? What are we doing?

419
00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:30,240
Speaker 1: What's the baseline, what's the hypothesis? So in any career

420
00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:31,679
Speaker 1: you have to sort of decide what you're doing and

421
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:33,560
Speaker 1: it can change, but you have to have some sort

422
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:36,480
Speaker 1: of mental map and chessboard that you're working with. So

423
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:38,880
Speaker 1: it sounds like that's when you pull I didn't have that,

424
00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:43,119
Speaker 1: you know. And I and I said to my my

425
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:45,560
Speaker 1: ex husband, my then husband, and I, you know I

426
00:22:45,720 --> 00:22:48,440
Speaker 1: we were, well, he wasn't a husband yet, but he said,

427
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:50,280
Speaker 1: what do you want to do? And I said, well,

428
00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:52,880
Speaker 1: I want to be an actress. And it was sort

429
00:22:52,920 --> 00:22:55,120
Speaker 1: of like, well, then why are you putting your name

430
00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:59,000
Speaker 1: on hair dryers like and like Barbie dolls like this

431
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:03,439
Speaker 1: that that isn't Yeah, I wasn't it, and so and

432
00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:06,800
Speaker 1: we really, you know, I didn't. There was damage that

433
00:23:06,960 --> 00:23:09,760
Speaker 1: was done too by that point, because nobody in the

434
00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:13,600
Speaker 1: industry knew what I was. Was I a model? Was

435
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:16,280
Speaker 1: I serius actory? Well I was going to ask this question.

436
00:23:16,840 --> 00:23:18,439
Speaker 1: That was your lull. That was when you sort of

437
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,560
Speaker 1: went away and we're more ambiguous in the world like

438
00:23:20,600 --> 00:23:23,240
Speaker 1: you were Brookshields as a kid, I'm fifty, were close

439
00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:24,560
Speaker 1: in age. I think I'm going to give up your age.

440
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:28,359
Speaker 1: I don't know your age, but I'm fifty. But um,

441
00:23:28,400 --> 00:23:30,240
Speaker 1: I'm aware of you, like I'm you know what I mean,

442
00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 1: I'm aware of that. I was like literally aware of

443
00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:35,000
Speaker 1: Studio fifty four and Calvin clein jeans and lived for

444
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,560
Speaker 1: the Blue Lagoon. So I'm sort of there. So then

445
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:39,440
Speaker 1: I remember in my mind that's why I was asking

446
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:41,800
Speaker 1: about perception. You sort of I would never forget the

447
00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:44,800
Speaker 1: name Brookshields. You're very always relevant because you're just an icon.

448
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:47,600
Speaker 1: But you did weren't around that much. You got married

449
00:23:47,640 --> 00:23:50,640
Speaker 1: to uh, the tennis player. And that's what I knew

450
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:53,360
Speaker 1: in my life. I first started to not be around.

451
00:23:53,600 --> 00:23:57,680
Speaker 1: And when the real first kind of oh my god

452
00:23:57,760 --> 00:24:03,760
Speaker 1: moment was when I went to college, because I have assumed, yes,

453
00:24:03,960 --> 00:24:08,080
Speaker 1: I assumed, I would just continue to make movies during

454
00:24:08,080 --> 00:24:10,280
Speaker 1: the summer and I would go to college and then

455
00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:13,440
Speaker 1: I would come out even more of a an actress

456
00:24:13,480 --> 00:24:15,760
Speaker 1: and a person, and I could study in school and

457
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:18,560
Speaker 1: I could and everybody would welcome me with open arms

458
00:24:18,600 --> 00:24:21,879
Speaker 1: because then I was an intelligent, educated actress. Well, I

459
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:25,320
Speaker 1: certainly didn't want an educated actress in Hollywood. But in

460
00:24:25,359 --> 00:24:30,000
Speaker 1: those four years I had turned things down and people

461
00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:32,080
Speaker 1: weren't waiting for me. They weren't going to wait and

462
00:24:32,119 --> 00:24:35,520
Speaker 1: push the movie to the summer for me, you know.

463
00:24:35,880 --> 00:24:39,560
Speaker 1: And all of a sudden, I was, you know, gained weight,

464
00:24:39,680 --> 00:24:42,719
Speaker 1: and my hair was kind of weird, and I was

465
00:24:42,880 --> 00:24:45,000
Speaker 1: in that sort of awkward stage of trying to come

466
00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:48,479
Speaker 1: into my own just as a person, and it didn't

467
00:24:48,560 --> 00:24:52,280
Speaker 1: fit into Hollywood, and no one knew really what I was.

468
00:24:52,320 --> 00:24:57,360
Speaker 1: So I wasn't really and a model anymore because I wasn't.

469
00:24:57,600 --> 00:24:59,800
Speaker 1: I didn't look like one in the same way that

470
00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:03,359
Speaker 1: wanted me to be, and Hollywood or whatever didn't want it,

471
00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:05,040
Speaker 1: didn't know what to do with me because I was

472
00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:08,239
Speaker 1: so famous. Did that mean I wasn't an actress? So

473
00:25:08,440 --> 00:25:10,880
Speaker 1: by then I was so famous that I wouldn't even

474
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:14,160
Speaker 1: get parts because you couldn't forget it was me. So

475
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:19,320
Speaker 1: that's when I just started studying acting more and really

476
00:25:19,359 --> 00:25:21,560
Speaker 1: delving into that and sort of and that's when I

477
00:25:21,600 --> 00:25:23,359
Speaker 1: went on Broadway. And it was when I went on

478
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:27,560
Speaker 1: Broadway then I realized, um that they gave me for

479
00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:30,439
Speaker 1: a place because I had a job for over six months,

480
00:25:30,800 --> 00:25:34,560
Speaker 1: and that's when I started systematically UM going through the

481
00:25:34,560 --> 00:25:38,600
Speaker 1: properties and try and legally kind of extricating myself from

482
00:25:38,640 --> 00:25:41,200
Speaker 1: my mother. How old do you then that was by

483
00:25:41,240 --> 00:25:43,560
Speaker 1: the time let's see, I got out in the eight seven,

484
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:49,040
Speaker 1: it was really ninety three, nenty four. I because I

485
00:25:49,040 --> 00:25:51,800
Speaker 1: had then taken acting classes and I started saying no

486
00:25:52,040 --> 00:26:08,719
Speaker 1: to projects, which it had never occurred to me. If

487
00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:10,480
Speaker 1: you could just say it in a sentence, what is

488
00:26:10,520 --> 00:26:16,440
Speaker 1: your brand? Who are you too? To the world, I'm

489
00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:21,520
Speaker 1: on the one hand, America's sweetheart and on the other hand,

490
00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:27,440
Speaker 1: this larger than life type of UM, like an icon.

491
00:26:27,600 --> 00:26:32,520
Speaker 1: I vacillate between that because it's it's really hard to

492
00:26:32,600 --> 00:26:36,879
Speaker 1: know what my personal brand is because I crossed so

493
00:26:36,960 --> 00:26:41,680
Speaker 1: many lines, so and over generations. You know. Now kids

494
00:26:41,680 --> 00:26:45,159
Speaker 1: are coming up to me for Hannah Montana's Mom or

495
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:51,760
Speaker 1: Nickelodeon or Jane the Virgin and their parents loved you know,

496
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:54,399
Speaker 1: lu Laguan or whatever, and now they have these kids

497
00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:57,560
Speaker 1: and they feel comfortable with their kids seeing that in me,

498
00:26:57,680 --> 00:26:59,800
Speaker 1: so they bring their kids to see me on Broadway.

499
00:27:00,520 --> 00:27:05,360
Speaker 1: And so it's a I'm a very confused. It's very

500
00:27:05,400 --> 00:27:09,479
Speaker 1: confusing to put me in one one sort of place,

501
00:27:09,600 --> 00:27:12,199
Speaker 1: and that's caused me a lot of stress. But by

502
00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:17,080
Speaker 1: the same token, I have such a versatile career, including

503
00:27:17,119 --> 00:27:22,119
Speaker 1: writing books, in including the education that I got, including

504
00:27:22,160 --> 00:27:25,760
Speaker 1: Broadway and television and film and modeling. So it's this

505
00:27:26,359 --> 00:27:30,240
Speaker 1: not many people that I know across all those lines.

506
00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:33,959
Speaker 1: You seem to me like a strong, honest woman. You

507
00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:37,119
Speaker 1: seem like a power mom. To me, That's what I get.

508
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:39,520
Speaker 1: But the through line is the right is the word though,

509
00:27:39,520 --> 00:27:44,439
Speaker 1: because that that word, that concept, that sort of um

510
00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:49,520
Speaker 1: a connection is what I started cultivating. So that even

511
00:27:49,560 --> 00:27:55,639
Speaker 1: though the medium may change, or the entrepreneurial part of

512
00:27:55,640 --> 00:27:59,240
Speaker 1: me or the literary part whatever, that is the piece

513
00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:01,920
Speaker 1: that I was beginning to develop for the first time

514
00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:03,639
Speaker 1: in my life when I went to college, when I

515
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:08,560
Speaker 1: learned just how to think and theorize and um and

516
00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:10,840
Speaker 1: and sort of come up with what I thought my

517
00:28:10,960 --> 00:28:17,000
Speaker 1: hypotheses were, etcetera. I started for me as the through line,

518
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:20,040
Speaker 1: so that it didn't I didn't work, I didn't I

519
00:28:20,040 --> 00:28:23,680
Speaker 1: didn't get freaked out by by this this No, I'm

520
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:27,040
Speaker 1: me and I happened to be versatile and diverse and

521
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:31,160
Speaker 1: I love learning new things, so it freed me up

522
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:33,800
Speaker 1: from feeling that I had to be just one thing

523
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:37,200
Speaker 1: or my brand was weak and it didn't mean anything.

524
00:28:37,520 --> 00:28:40,120
Speaker 1: Hard work is very important to you, but um is

525
00:28:40,200 --> 00:28:43,800
Speaker 1: relevant important to you being relevant and being busy because

526
00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:46,120
Speaker 1: hard work is different. It could be quality versus quantity,

527
00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:48,280
Speaker 1: meaning do you look at the calendar and if there's

528
00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:50,440
Speaker 1: nothing going on and no one's asked you to do something,

529
00:28:50,440 --> 00:28:52,480
Speaker 1: do you get worried? Or that's not part of this

530
00:28:52,840 --> 00:28:57,680
Speaker 1: When I don't have time doing comedy and filming something

531
00:28:57,840 --> 00:29:03,240
Speaker 1: of a sudden like that bi atrophy. But it's about

532
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:09,080
Speaker 1: the joy and the absolute meditative escape that I get

533
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:13,000
Speaker 1: when I was doing my television show or when I

534
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 1: was doing comedy on Broadway. It's less about being relevant

535
00:29:16,920 --> 00:29:20,680
Speaker 1: and more because to me, chasing relevance is really dangerous

536
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:25,160
Speaker 1: for me, and I don't want to have that like

537
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:28,920
Speaker 1: hunger and oh I've gotta you know, Yeah, I'll do TikTok,

538
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,400
Speaker 1: but I'm not doing it so I can get all

539
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:33,320
Speaker 1: the followers in the same way and be just like

540
00:29:33,360 --> 00:29:35,800
Speaker 1: my kids. And I'm gonna be younger now and no

541
00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:41,000
Speaker 1: I can't because I've been relevant at every stage. Do

542
00:29:41,040 --> 00:29:42,720
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? In my own life. You

543
00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:46,120
Speaker 1: like the outlet. I relate to this because you need

544
00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:49,560
Speaker 1: And that's where I don't love quote unquote television because

545
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:52,040
Speaker 1: of all the nonsense that comes with it, And I

546
00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:54,880
Speaker 1: don't love all kinds of television because it doesn't give

547
00:29:54,880 --> 00:29:57,960
Speaker 1: me that humorous outlet. And as much as I wouldn't

548
00:29:58,080 --> 00:29:59,720
Speaker 1: want to go back to the housewise because what I

549
00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:03,920
Speaker 1: believe represents now for women, I missed that ranting and

550
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:07,120
Speaker 1: that that outlet. Yeah, just the creative outlet of being

551
00:30:07,160 --> 00:30:09,880
Speaker 1: able to be absurd and say absurd things and anything

552
00:30:09,920 --> 00:30:12,680
Speaker 1: you want about anybody. And that's why this particularly, I

553
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:15,400
Speaker 1: love this because we're having a conversation and I am

554
00:30:15,480 --> 00:30:18,000
Speaker 1: very insular, so that's why I asked you that question. Also,

555
00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:24,080
Speaker 1: people crave people crave fame in that way where you know,

556
00:30:24,160 --> 00:30:27,320
Speaker 1: the clicking of the photographers and the yelling of your

557
00:30:27,400 --> 00:30:30,000
Speaker 1: name and the red carpets, and and that's sort of

558
00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:34,560
Speaker 1: the symbol of what this is. I dread that same

559
00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:38,760
Speaker 1: dread make up. I dready saying, by the way on

560
00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:44,480
Speaker 1: My life, despise despise. Yeah, I hate it. And because

561
00:30:44,760 --> 00:30:46,840
Speaker 1: all the time you're saying you have to get you

562
00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:51,320
Speaker 1: in the front row you've got and I'm like, how

563
00:30:51,440 --> 00:30:54,640
Speaker 1: is that going to get myself show produced? I'm like,

564
00:30:54,720 --> 00:30:56,720
Speaker 1: it has nothing to do with me. I'm in pajamas.

565
00:30:56,760 --> 00:30:58,560
Speaker 1: I like nice things fashion me because always the thing

566
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:01,000
Speaker 1: that you're gonna go to that know us open, No,

567
00:31:01,960 --> 00:31:04,840
Speaker 1: this person's box. No, I'm the same. Yeah, I come from.

568
00:31:04,880 --> 00:31:06,920
Speaker 1: It's so funny. Oh wow. I did a movie in

569
00:31:07,040 --> 00:31:10,040
Speaker 1: over the Pandemic. Oddly enough, it was just such a gift.

570
00:31:10,080 --> 00:31:12,320
Speaker 1: I couldn't believe it. For two and a half months,

571
00:31:12,560 --> 00:31:15,160
Speaker 1: I was living in this bubble with the with the

572
00:31:15,200 --> 00:31:18,239
Speaker 1: crew and cast in Scotland and we managed to do

573
00:31:18,280 --> 00:31:22,080
Speaker 1: a rom com for Netflix. And can I tell you that,

574
00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:25,640
Speaker 1: aside from missing my children, I had a pep in

575
00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:28,680
Speaker 1: my step. I woke up every day. I was just

576
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:32,320
Speaker 1: because I got to go home. And I grew up

577
00:31:32,360 --> 00:31:35,440
Speaker 1: on movie sets having those all inside jokes with the

578
00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:39,320
Speaker 1: gaffers and the grips and you know, having a transpoke guy.

579
00:31:39,440 --> 00:31:41,840
Speaker 1: If some somebody looked at me the wrong way, he'd say,

580
00:31:41,880 --> 00:31:45,480
Speaker 1: you want them to leave with a limp? You know me?

581
00:31:45,640 --> 00:31:48,640
Speaker 1: And it's it's like camp and you're doing something and

582
00:31:48,680 --> 00:31:52,000
Speaker 1: it's it's not heavy drama, you know. I don't enjoy

583
00:31:52,120 --> 00:31:56,880
Speaker 1: living in that space, so that it's always been I

584
00:31:56,920 --> 00:32:00,440
Speaker 1: don't crave being front center as me, I even as

585
00:32:00,440 --> 00:32:03,400
Speaker 1: a character, but not as me. I get it. And

586
00:32:03,480 --> 00:32:06,040
Speaker 1: well also it's the necessary evil to be able to

587
00:32:06,080 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 1: be you. You have you can't be and nobody and

588
00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:10,400
Speaker 1: maybe it just worse. So I'm saying, that's what you're saying,

589
00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:12,840
Speaker 1: and nobody. You're not complaining about fame. I'm not putting

590
00:32:12,880 --> 00:32:14,720
Speaker 1: you in that box. Nobody wants saying her famous people.

591
00:32:15,240 --> 00:32:17,200
Speaker 1: But I'm I get what you're saying, and so does

592
00:32:17,200 --> 00:32:19,200
Speaker 1: everybody else listening. I just didn't coveted you know what

593
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:21,360
Speaker 1: I mean. I never coveted it. Maybe it's because I

594
00:32:21,520 --> 00:32:24,320
Speaker 1: it was sort of always I was always infamous. I

595
00:32:24,400 --> 00:32:27,200
Speaker 1: was always controversial, do you know what I mean? Fame

596
00:32:27,280 --> 00:32:30,640
Speaker 1: and infamy to me, we're sort of synonymous. And you

597
00:32:30,680 --> 00:32:33,560
Speaker 1: know that was I was like, uh, you know, people say, oh,

598
00:32:33,640 --> 00:32:36,560
Speaker 1: it's gonna go into the radar, and like, nothing I do,

599
00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:39,239
Speaker 1: no matter how much I wanted to, is not going

600
00:32:39,280 --> 00:32:42,320
Speaker 1: to go into the radar. So we have to be prepared.

601
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:46,320
Speaker 1: You know, well, years ago, you used to your weight

602
00:32:46,440 --> 00:32:49,120
Speaker 1: used to be a conversation. You gained weight you lost weight,

603
00:32:49,200 --> 00:32:51,120
Speaker 1: and it seems that would seem to be a struggle

604
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:55,920
Speaker 1: for any woman, particularly younger. And my question is, are

605
00:32:56,320 --> 00:32:59,920
Speaker 1: what's your relationship now with weight? But vanity looks be

606
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:05,440
Speaker 1: being young instagram filtering selfies, this new world of everybody

607
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:08,520
Speaker 1: our generation did not say, hey, look at me, I'm

608
00:33:08,560 --> 00:33:11,160
Speaker 1: taking a picture of myself in a bathing suit, Like

609
00:33:11,600 --> 00:33:13,600
Speaker 1: what the hell is that? And we all are doing

610
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:15,160
Speaker 1: it because don't hate the player, hate the game. I

611
00:33:15,160 --> 00:33:17,240
Speaker 1: can promise you I hate all of it. I like

612
00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:19,040
Speaker 1: the humor. I know that you like TikTok as. I

613
00:33:19,040 --> 00:33:22,840
Speaker 1: bet you like the humor. But like, it's so counterintuitive

614
00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:25,719
Speaker 1: to be like, let me put the camera on myself

615
00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:27,600
Speaker 1: and take a picture of you to show you how

616
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:30,200
Speaker 1: good I am, how rich I am, how my handbag,

617
00:33:30,280 --> 00:33:33,800
Speaker 1: my ass, my face, my what the fuck? So I

618
00:33:33,840 --> 00:33:35,480
Speaker 1: want to know what you think about all that, because

619
00:33:35,520 --> 00:33:37,720
Speaker 1: you grew up with other people taking your picture and

620
00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:41,360
Speaker 1: being famous, you know, in your Calvin's. But now you've

621
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:43,800
Speaker 1: got to be part of this whole universe. You know

622
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:45,840
Speaker 1: what I think it's how you approach it, because at

623
00:33:45,880 --> 00:33:49,000
Speaker 1: first I refused. I was just you know, I'm not

624
00:33:49,080 --> 00:33:51,480
Speaker 1: doing it. I don't get it. I don't want to

625
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:54,120
Speaker 1: take a picture of my food. I don't need you

626
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:56,160
Speaker 1: to know what I'm eating. I really don't, you know,

627
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:59,920
Speaker 1: and I don't I you know, I don't. I feel

628
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:04,080
Speaker 1: I don't get into the time that it takes, you know,

629
00:34:04,160 --> 00:34:06,600
Speaker 1: the rabbit hole of of all of this that you

630
00:34:06,680 --> 00:34:10,480
Speaker 1: get sucked into, or the time you know, I don't

631
00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:14,520
Speaker 1: know from filters or or stuff like that. But and

632
00:34:14,520 --> 00:34:16,440
Speaker 1: then you hate that you're doing it but then not

633
00:34:16,480 --> 00:34:18,520
Speaker 1: doing it right. You'd rather do it and know how

634
00:34:18,560 --> 00:34:19,960
Speaker 1: to do it or not do it. But if you're

635
00:34:19,960 --> 00:34:21,480
Speaker 1: not doing it, then you're not doing it and you're

636
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:23,719
Speaker 1: not part of popular culture. And if you're doing it

637
00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:25,799
Speaker 1: and you're shitty at it, then you look like you

638
00:34:25,960 --> 00:34:28,200
Speaker 1: Then it's terrible. So it's like doing a bad movie.

639
00:34:28,360 --> 00:34:30,880
Speaker 1: It's like the work. I get it, but now I

640
00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:37,520
Speaker 1: will lose jobs. Two influencers that don't actresses, you know,

641
00:34:37,520 --> 00:34:41,600
Speaker 1: where my daughters will say, well, they're actresses. I'm like, really, uh,

642
00:34:41,680 --> 00:34:44,200
Speaker 1: what can I see something? And I'll be like, yeah,

643
00:34:44,239 --> 00:34:46,000
Speaker 1: you should look like their technic. I'm like that guy.

644
00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:50,080
Speaker 1: I think, right, all right, i'tally it's like weird, no,

645
00:34:50,760 --> 00:34:54,319
Speaker 1: but but but I don't. Um, I don't look down

646
00:34:54,360 --> 00:34:57,160
Speaker 1: on them. I just I'm in a different sort of

647
00:34:57,239 --> 00:35:02,080
Speaker 1: mindset about it. However, if I'm up for something, it's

648
00:35:02,120 --> 00:35:04,799
Speaker 1: a part of the conversation, how many followers do you have?

649
00:35:05,160 --> 00:35:07,080
Speaker 1: How many you have to get them up? You have

650
00:35:07,120 --> 00:35:09,279
Speaker 1: to get them up. And I thought, Wow, that's like

651
00:35:09,360 --> 00:35:10,960
Speaker 1: them saying you're not thin enough. You need to have

652
00:35:11,040 --> 00:35:13,680
Speaker 1: you lost weight. You can get this role. Now it's

653
00:35:13,760 --> 00:35:16,040
Speaker 1: the new you don't have enough followers. You're fine that

654
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:18,040
Speaker 1: you you are heavier, because that's in, but not having

655
00:35:18,040 --> 00:35:21,680
Speaker 1: followers not in. I switched at one point because I

656
00:35:21,719 --> 00:35:26,200
Speaker 1: resented it. I hired people to help me understand, Oh,

657
00:35:26,280 --> 00:35:30,799
Speaker 1: it's National dog Day and put that on it. I

658
00:35:30,920 --> 00:35:33,440
Speaker 1: was like, God, I want to read my book on

659
00:35:33,520 --> 00:35:36,839
Speaker 1: my off time, and I wanna my children then, who

660
00:35:36,840 --> 00:35:41,080
Speaker 1: are probably on their computers anyway. Um So, but then

661
00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:47,800
Speaker 1: I started to have a again. I found the purpose

662
00:35:47,960 --> 00:35:53,239
Speaker 1: for it, meaning the career purpose fromout this film, show

663
00:35:53,280 --> 00:35:56,240
Speaker 1: the behind the scenes that you're comfortable with. Let people

664
00:35:56,360 --> 00:35:59,520
Speaker 1: in on the fantasy of your riding a horse and

665
00:35:59,680 --> 00:36:04,640
Speaker 1: over the beautiful countryside in Scotland and a gown, and

666
00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:09,960
Speaker 1: you know that the wish fulfillment piece. Um, I it's exhausting.

667
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,719
Speaker 1: Though it's exhausting, but if you have the right to

668
00:36:12,800 --> 00:36:15,880
Speaker 1: have a team around you to help interface with it

669
00:36:16,239 --> 00:36:18,799
Speaker 1: and make sure you're not doing too much. Because when

670
00:36:18,840 --> 00:36:21,040
Speaker 1: I first started doing it, I was I would do

671
00:36:21,120 --> 00:36:25,560
Speaker 1: like twelve posts in it like two hours, and my

672
00:36:25,600 --> 00:36:27,520
Speaker 1: food is like this, and would I'd be like, I'm

673
00:36:27,520 --> 00:36:30,719
Speaker 1: done right and my daughter is like, no, it's and

674
00:36:30,719 --> 00:36:33,200
Speaker 1: I's like, please don't tell me, it's like this seventies

675
00:36:33,239 --> 00:36:35,160
Speaker 1: she said. It's kind of is. I said, I need

676
00:36:35,480 --> 00:36:37,760
Speaker 1: I need a buffer and I need someone to teach

677
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:42,400
Speaker 1: me and tell me. And it became no sort of Um,

678
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:47,080
Speaker 1: it cross pollinated, like you know, between pr and and

679
00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:50,640
Speaker 1: the movie or PR and the my own company which

680
00:36:50,640 --> 00:36:54,040
Speaker 1: I started. I understand it's more purposeful and you you're

681
00:36:54,160 --> 00:36:56,239
Speaker 1: organized again, you have a through line with it, you

682
00:36:56,320 --> 00:36:58,880
Speaker 1: have a relationship with it. First, is it being scattered?

683
00:36:59,239 --> 00:37:02,160
Speaker 1: What about the v nity piece. Here's what's hard is

684
00:37:02,239 --> 00:37:07,160
Speaker 1: that I was said to be a certain certain type

685
00:37:07,160 --> 00:37:11,319
Speaker 1: of face. I was a I was labeled beautiful. I

686
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:14,160
Speaker 1: was a face of a decade, which I don't understand

687
00:37:14,160 --> 00:37:18,880
Speaker 1: who what committee decides that. But mus being God and

688
00:37:19,480 --> 00:37:22,920
Speaker 1: all the because it's very arbitrary and I feel um,

689
00:37:23,000 --> 00:37:25,600
Speaker 1: but I was that right. So just by virtue of

690
00:37:25,600 --> 00:37:30,200
Speaker 1: getting older, I am a disappointment, meaning I don't feel

691
00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:33,520
Speaker 1: this way. But if you're not careful, a SBBs T

692
00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 1: is to see right, so you are. I'm letting people

693
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:41,080
Speaker 1: down by not looking the way I did it when

694
00:37:41,120 --> 00:37:43,359
Speaker 1: I was fifteen. And a lot of the time people

695
00:37:43,400 --> 00:37:46,040
Speaker 1: will say to me, oh, you know, and you're still yeah,

696
00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:49,320
Speaker 1: but you're still okay. You're thinking, well, no, I'm actually

697
00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:52,920
Speaker 1: better now that I was, to be honest, So let's

698
00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:56,440
Speaker 1: start with that, and let's but the vanity piece of it.

699
00:37:56,760 --> 00:37:59,880
Speaker 1: I will fall pray to it as as he's a

700
00:38:00,200 --> 00:38:03,200
Speaker 1: But then I bring myself back to reality and I

701
00:38:03,280 --> 00:38:07,320
Speaker 1: and I say you can't be filtered and all of that. Listen.

702
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:09,920
Speaker 1: I want to show a good angle and I'm going

703
00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:12,200
Speaker 1: to edit out a picture that that I don't think

704
00:38:12,280 --> 00:38:14,480
Speaker 1: is flattering to myself. But I'm not going to go

705
00:38:14,560 --> 00:38:19,400
Speaker 1: in and heavy handedly swooth everything and take away every

706
00:38:19,480 --> 00:38:23,360
Speaker 1: laugh line, not wrinkle laugh line, because that will just

707
00:38:23,400 --> 00:38:27,719
Speaker 1: make me feel worse about myself. Whereas if I'm just

708
00:38:27,800 --> 00:38:31,160
Speaker 1: who I am, someone who had postpartum, someone who struggled

709
00:38:31,200 --> 00:38:34,279
Speaker 1: with the insecurity for my own reasons. Someone who's never

710
00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:37,520
Speaker 1: been skinny, someone who now has a huge scar on

711
00:38:37,640 --> 00:38:42,680
Speaker 1: my leg, and it's all uneven and right. That's who

712
00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:46,759
Speaker 1: I really am. So I have to educate people and

713
00:38:47,040 --> 00:38:51,200
Speaker 1: educate myself as to what I want to accept. And

714
00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:54,440
Speaker 1: isn't that freeing? Though? Because I find I'm never wearing

715
00:38:54,520 --> 00:38:56,439
Speaker 1: I don't have makeup. This will be on social media

716
00:38:56,719 --> 00:38:59,960
Speaker 1: my own friends who aren't public people say to me,

717
00:39:00,560 --> 00:39:03,440
Speaker 1: how could you like post like this? You just do

718
00:39:03,520 --> 00:39:06,160
Speaker 1: not care my hair. I just don't care because I

719
00:39:06,200 --> 00:39:09,360
Speaker 1: find it liberating. I can't explain it. It's like, thank God,

720
00:39:09,440 --> 00:39:12,000
Speaker 1: there's no competing. You can't get there. You're not going

721
00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:14,160
Speaker 1: to get there. It's a bottomless pit. And what are

722
00:39:14,160 --> 00:39:16,160
Speaker 1: we gonna do? The gig is up, or the jig

723
00:39:16,200 --> 00:39:19,120
Speaker 1: is up, whatever it's called. The jig is something is up,

724
00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:22,000
Speaker 1: the jig the gig is up. I'm not twenty three,

725
00:39:22,360 --> 00:39:24,360
Speaker 1: you know, we're not bouncing quarters off my ass and

726
00:39:24,400 --> 00:39:26,920
Speaker 1: that's not happening. So I think it's sort of liberating.

727
00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:29,319
Speaker 1: But I get what you're saying. My vanity will will

728
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:32,160
Speaker 1: be will come in the form of oh, I don't

729
00:39:32,200 --> 00:39:34,239
Speaker 1: feel like I'm in shape because I haven't worked out

730
00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:37,080
Speaker 1: in so long. Because so I'm gonna hit it a

731
00:39:37,120 --> 00:39:39,919
Speaker 1: little bit hard and that's gonna give me a little

732
00:39:39,960 --> 00:39:42,200
Speaker 1: like on my stomach. Were taught and oh I have

733
00:39:42,280 --> 00:39:45,239
Speaker 1: more energy. And so I always want to be my best.

734
00:39:45,280 --> 00:39:46,920
Speaker 1: Let's put it that way, like I always want to

735
00:39:46,960 --> 00:39:50,759
Speaker 1: be at least striving to be that be the best

736
00:39:50,760 --> 00:39:54,799
Speaker 1: that I can be within a limit to do. You know,

737
00:39:54,920 --> 00:39:58,080
Speaker 1: it's like I never knew how to relax, and when

738
00:39:58,080 --> 00:40:03,280
Speaker 1: I broke my femur, I mean I've had to do nothing, nothing,

739
00:40:03,360 --> 00:40:07,360
Speaker 1: no exercise for so long and that kind of I

740
00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:10,600
Speaker 1: would look at that as lazy idle um. You know,

741
00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:13,880
Speaker 1: I feel gross. I feel, you know, just like a sloth.

742
00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:17,880
Speaker 1: And I had to relearn about that too. I had

743
00:40:17,920 --> 00:40:20,759
Speaker 1: to forgive myself and say, you need time to heal.

744
00:40:21,560 --> 00:40:38,319
Speaker 1: And this looks like this, this is what healing looks like. Yeah,

745
00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:44,680
Speaker 1: so you've been open about depression. So when you're depressed,

746
00:40:44,680 --> 00:40:47,000
Speaker 1: because a lot of people have felt depressed, especially during

747
00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:50,440
Speaker 1: the pandemic, even if they don't suffer from clinical depression,

748
00:40:50,760 --> 00:40:54,120
Speaker 1: how does it affect other people thinking it's about them? Like,

749
00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:57,080
Speaker 1: how do you divide that and make people around you

750
00:40:57,120 --> 00:41:00,319
Speaker 1: realize it's literally it's not you, it's me, because I

751
00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:02,680
Speaker 1: would think that if you're depressed, or if you have hormones,

752
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:04,960
Speaker 1: or if people are menopausal or whatever is going on

753
00:41:05,000 --> 00:41:07,680
Speaker 1: in their life other people like, or if people just

754
00:41:07,800 --> 00:41:10,319
Speaker 1: aren't happy on them on their own, you have to

755
00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:13,839
Speaker 1: deal with other people. So those people often think it's them,

756
00:41:14,160 --> 00:41:16,439
Speaker 1: And I want to know how you recognize and then

757
00:41:16,600 --> 00:41:19,840
Speaker 1: define and clarify that. Well, first of all, when that

758
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:23,040
Speaker 1: kind of a reaction you're met with that kind of reaction,

759
00:41:23,120 --> 00:41:27,279
Speaker 1: inevitably it is about the other person. Because if you

760
00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:29,279
Speaker 1: are all of a sudden different than they know you

761
00:41:29,360 --> 00:41:34,840
Speaker 1: to be, positive, upbeat, generous, laughing, whatever the whole thing is,

762
00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:37,000
Speaker 1: you know, making people feel good about themselves, all of

763
00:41:37,080 --> 00:41:41,960
Speaker 1: a sudden you're struggling. Their world changes. Um kids, their

764
00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:45,160
Speaker 1: world gets threatened. If mom's crying, what does that mean

765
00:41:45,239 --> 00:41:48,200
Speaker 1: for them? You know, their whole sort of foundation from

766
00:41:48,239 --> 00:41:50,520
Speaker 1: the time they were a little you know you. I

767
00:41:50,560 --> 00:41:53,080
Speaker 1: always had to balance that, So I when't I was

768
00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:55,759
Speaker 1: crying once in the car and my and four year

769
00:41:55,800 --> 00:41:59,080
Speaker 1: old said, Mama crying, And I said, I was like,

770
00:41:59,120 --> 00:42:01,759
Speaker 1: oh God, do I say to her? No, I just

771
00:42:01,800 --> 00:42:03,920
Speaker 1: got something in my eye and your instincts are wrong.

772
00:42:04,640 --> 00:42:06,920
Speaker 1: Or do I say yes? And can you believe that

773
00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:10,200
Speaker 1: this happened? No, she's a child. What does she need

774
00:42:10,239 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 1: to know? She needs to know that I'm gonna be

775
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:14,960
Speaker 1: okay and that she's gonna be okay. So I said, yeah,

776
00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:18,239
Speaker 1: mom's a little sad today, I'm gonna be okay. I

777
00:42:18,280 --> 00:42:21,560
Speaker 1: love you, you are so loved and you are very safe,

778
00:42:21,800 --> 00:42:24,160
Speaker 1: and she goes, I'm a crying and I was like,

779
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:27,359
Speaker 1: that's it, that's all I can But it was really

780
00:42:27,400 --> 00:42:30,759
Speaker 1: interesting because I've learned at a young age that it's

781
00:42:30,760 --> 00:42:33,560
Speaker 1: always about the other person, you know. It's like and

782
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:36,840
Speaker 1: people don't want change, they don't want growth. It's like,

783
00:42:37,000 --> 00:42:39,760
Speaker 1: it's why you lose people when you you become people

784
00:42:39,800 --> 00:42:42,760
Speaker 1: become sober, they all of a sudden friends of theirs

785
00:42:42,760 --> 00:42:44,680
Speaker 1: have to drop away because they don't know how to

786
00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:51,080
Speaker 1: relate to a sober person as that person sober so postpartum.

787
00:42:51,120 --> 00:42:53,799
Speaker 1: I took so much of the blame myself until I

788
00:42:53,880 --> 00:42:59,000
Speaker 1: learned what it was, and everybody else was just spiraling.

789
00:42:59,480 --> 00:43:02,400
Speaker 1: But they they didn't think it was about themselves. But

790
00:43:02,440 --> 00:43:07,359
Speaker 1: they thought that they had the answers, and most stop breastfeeding. Oh,

791
00:43:07,400 --> 00:43:10,320
Speaker 1: don't do that, or you're not getting enough slah, I

792
00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:12,160
Speaker 1: don't you know, do this and it's like, no, you

793
00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:16,360
Speaker 1: don't understand, you can't help me, and I I appreciate

794
00:43:16,719 --> 00:43:20,880
Speaker 1: you're not a knowledgeable advice is not with doctors, But

795
00:43:21,480 --> 00:43:24,520
Speaker 1: you know, I realized I had to become educated about

796
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:27,760
Speaker 1: it myself so that a I could take the illness

797
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:30,160
Speaker 1: off of myself, thinking I was just a terrible person

798
00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:33,320
Speaker 1: and made a huge mistake and played god because I

799
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:36,480
Speaker 1: used id F and yeah, you just beat yourself up

800
00:43:36,560 --> 00:43:38,960
Speaker 1: and all these things and and so that was the

801
00:43:39,000 --> 00:43:41,879
Speaker 1: first piece, and then I had to have I had

802
00:43:41,920 --> 00:43:44,160
Speaker 1: to turn it around and have more empathy for the

803
00:43:44,239 --> 00:43:49,280
Speaker 1: people that were making it about themselves because they had

804
00:43:49,440 --> 00:43:51,960
Speaker 1: no idea what was going on, and they weren't feeling

805
00:43:52,040 --> 00:43:57,239
Speaker 1: the feelings. So I had to really gently tell them

806
00:43:57,880 --> 00:44:00,320
Speaker 1: that this really was something that I was going to

807
00:44:00,400 --> 00:44:04,000
Speaker 1: do my hardest to get through and passed, but that

808
00:44:04,480 --> 00:44:08,640
Speaker 1: it really wasn't anything that they could change, did wrong,

809
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:11,800
Speaker 1: did differently, but that I would like it if we

810
00:44:11,880 --> 00:44:14,759
Speaker 1: all were able to learn about this together. And so

811
00:44:16,000 --> 00:44:18,879
Speaker 1: they became a little bit more knowledgeable and therefore more

812
00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:23,160
Speaker 1: empathetic instead of fearful and sort of self absorbed. Was

813
00:44:23,200 --> 00:44:25,400
Speaker 1: it everybody stronger as a result? It was your I

814
00:44:25,440 --> 00:44:26,920
Speaker 1: don't want I don't want to like to pry, you know,

815
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:28,680
Speaker 1: so I did my toe in the pool. Yeah, well

816
00:44:28,719 --> 00:44:31,239
Speaker 1: it didn't really make us closer at first, because what

817
00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:35,400
Speaker 1: happened was I was so disassociated with the baby that

818
00:44:35,560 --> 00:44:39,160
Speaker 1: he swept in and he had this unbelievable bond with

819
00:44:39,280 --> 00:44:42,120
Speaker 1: the baby, and I was even more left out, in

820
00:44:42,239 --> 00:44:46,200
Speaker 1: my opinion, the more resentful, and I started resenting their

821
00:44:46,480 --> 00:44:49,520
Speaker 1: you know connection when all you want for your daughter

822
00:44:49,680 --> 00:44:51,680
Speaker 1: to get it, to be happy. But you know, I

823
00:44:51,880 --> 00:44:54,279
Speaker 1: was like, now I can't hand now really great, Well

824
00:44:54,320 --> 00:44:58,440
Speaker 1: aren't you guys happy, like get happy like? So? You know,

825
00:44:58,600 --> 00:45:01,600
Speaker 1: so I it did not make us closer at all.

826
00:45:01,680 --> 00:45:04,000
Speaker 1: And that's very male, that's very male with women. How

827
00:45:04,040 --> 00:45:07,200
Speaker 1: the women do? I mean just stereotypical, but you know,

828
00:45:07,960 --> 00:45:10,000
Speaker 1: the women want to do everything that the man comes

829
00:45:10,040 --> 00:45:14,279
Speaker 1: in and does, gives one lollipop. It one lollipop and

830
00:45:14,320 --> 00:45:17,880
Speaker 1: a whole life is made. Yeah, I get I get it. Sorry,

831
00:45:18,120 --> 00:45:22,000
Speaker 1: but then the you know, that was just it was

832
00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:25,399
Speaker 1: so isolating to me with regards to her. But then,

833
00:45:25,719 --> 00:45:28,240
Speaker 1: but the raising of children has brought us much closer

834
00:45:28,320 --> 00:45:32,239
Speaker 1: together because we're together in it, in that journey. And

835
00:45:32,360 --> 00:45:34,719
Speaker 1: if we ever start to part or and I say like,

836
00:45:34,920 --> 00:45:36,920
Speaker 1: I need you on my side with this, you can't.

837
00:45:37,440 --> 00:45:39,879
Speaker 1: You can't contradict me in front of them. You can't

838
00:45:40,120 --> 00:45:43,200
Speaker 1: give them permission to be disrespectful to me because you're

839
00:45:43,239 --> 00:45:46,960
Speaker 1: being disrespectful to me, and vice versa. So team you

840
00:45:47,000 --> 00:45:48,840
Speaker 1: have to be on the same pas to which is

841
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:51,960
Speaker 1: not they, which isn't always they're only on their team

842
00:45:52,000 --> 00:45:55,800
Speaker 1: the kids exactly. Well, I guess that brings me to

843
00:45:56,000 --> 00:45:58,799
Speaker 1: something that's important. And I talked to very successful people

844
00:45:59,360 --> 00:46:01,840
Speaker 1: who are in relationships with other successful people and the

845
00:46:01,920 --> 00:46:05,080
Speaker 1: definition of success success I mean that both people are

846
00:46:05,840 --> 00:46:09,880
Speaker 1: successful in business in some regards. So what um what

847
00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:13,480
Speaker 1: I what are your experiences about successful relationships? It's how

848
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:15,560
Speaker 1: long have you been married? We're in our twenty first year.

849
00:46:16,000 --> 00:46:22,400
Speaker 1: I've noticed that the willingness to like grow and change

850
00:46:23,120 --> 00:46:26,440
Speaker 1: is really important to talk about because, for instance, when

851
00:46:26,520 --> 00:46:30,240
Speaker 1: my when I met my husband, I was much more broken.

852
00:46:30,960 --> 00:46:34,520
Speaker 1: My father was sick, my show ended, my best friend

853
00:46:34,600 --> 00:46:39,480
Speaker 1: had died, and I had had a difficult physical diagnosis

854
00:46:39,640 --> 00:46:44,120
Speaker 1: and I was I was weak and here was this

855
00:46:45,200 --> 00:46:49,239
Speaker 1: strong pillar of strength person who was really funny very

856
00:46:49,360 --> 00:46:53,640
Speaker 1: much made me laugh and would um it's more taking

857
00:46:53,680 --> 00:46:56,319
Speaker 1: the piss out of someone because I'm so international. Um,

858
00:46:56,640 --> 00:46:58,440
Speaker 1: but he would make fun of me, you know. It

859
00:46:58,520 --> 00:47:02,719
Speaker 1: would be and were all really nerdy things that I

860
00:47:02,920 --> 00:47:06,680
Speaker 1: did do, but it wasn't nasty. It was funny and

861
00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:09,560
Speaker 1: it made me laugh at myself. And I love I

862
00:47:09,680 --> 00:47:11,840
Speaker 1: loved it because I thought, oh, he really knows me.

863
00:47:12,520 --> 00:47:15,120
Speaker 1: You know, she does get the highlighter out. She's gonna

864
00:47:15,120 --> 00:47:17,000
Speaker 1: need a red pen and a highlighter and like all

865
00:47:17,080 --> 00:47:22,200
Speaker 1: my little idiosyncratic stick things and I'm imitating me and

866
00:47:22,600 --> 00:47:26,279
Speaker 1: so and it worked because it endeared me to him

867
00:47:26,360 --> 00:47:29,680
Speaker 1: and to myself, and it helped me not take things

868
00:47:29,719 --> 00:47:32,560
Speaker 1: so seriously. And I loved that he had an inside

869
00:47:32,680 --> 00:47:36,480
Speaker 1: sort of way with me. Um. I never felt put down.

870
00:47:37,360 --> 00:47:41,800
Speaker 1: But then I started changing in my career and my

871
00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:46,719
Speaker 1: life and my motherhood, and I started saying, no, wait,

872
00:47:46,800 --> 00:47:48,640
Speaker 1: I have a different opinion. You know what I'm not.

873
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:53,560
Speaker 1: I'm not don't lead with oh she burned the almonds

874
00:47:53,600 --> 00:47:57,440
Speaker 1: or burnt the walnuts or whatever. Let's not do that anymore,

875
00:47:57,440 --> 00:48:01,000
Speaker 1: because it actually doesn't fit for me anymore. And but

876
00:48:01,120 --> 00:48:03,000
Speaker 1: I'm not. But I'm not. It's not a bait and switch.

877
00:48:03,080 --> 00:48:04,600
Speaker 1: I'm not going to just switch it up on you

878
00:48:04,719 --> 00:48:07,080
Speaker 1: and then penalize you for it. W's gonna have to

879
00:48:07,120 --> 00:48:12,080
Speaker 1: be so I'm evolution asking you to be cognizant of that.

880
00:48:13,160 --> 00:48:15,360
Speaker 1: And he's come to me with certain things to be

881
00:48:15,520 --> 00:48:20,120
Speaker 1: cognizant of, and I remember it the next time. Or

882
00:48:20,880 --> 00:48:24,000
Speaker 1: he'll say, you know, I don't know why you, um,

883
00:48:24,680 --> 00:48:26,960
Speaker 1: why do you feel the need to talk about X?

884
00:48:27,719 --> 00:48:30,600
Speaker 1: And I'll say, oh, you know what, Actually that's a

885
00:48:30,640 --> 00:48:33,240
Speaker 1: part of self deprecation that I don't want to do anymore.

886
00:48:33,600 --> 00:48:35,279
Speaker 1: You know what. You're right, I'm not going to do

887
00:48:35,400 --> 00:48:37,640
Speaker 1: that anymore. And then if it comes up, then he

888
00:48:38,800 --> 00:48:43,719
Speaker 1: he's very receptive to um. You can't say something like

889
00:48:43,960 --> 00:48:46,880
Speaker 1: calm down, I'll just make his head and head explod.

890
00:48:48,040 --> 00:48:50,800
Speaker 1: You know, if you wait, you and you bring it

891
00:48:50,920 --> 00:48:54,440
Speaker 1: to him with a calm here's how I hear this.

892
00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:58,080
Speaker 1: Can we work on that? And it's tiring. It's like

893
00:48:58,239 --> 00:49:03,000
Speaker 1: it's because you generation shop. It's work. It work, it's workshop.

894
00:49:03,520 --> 00:49:05,360
Speaker 1: But it was I'm not the same as I was

895
00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:07,680
Speaker 1: when I married him, and if I if you expected

896
00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:11,120
Speaker 1: me to be, we probably would be divorced. You know.

897
00:49:11,600 --> 00:49:14,000
Speaker 1: We I get it, I really do. It's it's a

898
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:17,400
Speaker 1: well put Paul will say to me once again, the

899
00:49:17,480 --> 00:49:19,920
Speaker 1: message is totally correct, But it's the messaging, you know, like,

900
00:49:20,560 --> 00:49:23,120
Speaker 1: and it's totally true if you say something in the

901
00:49:23,160 --> 00:49:25,800
Speaker 1: appropriate way, and it just takes two seconds of time

902
00:49:25,880 --> 00:49:29,040
Speaker 1: to say it right versus you know, and just saying

903
00:49:29,200 --> 00:49:32,560
Speaker 1: you me how I feel, versus saying you did or

904
00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:34,680
Speaker 1: you are you know, little tools like that. It's also

905
00:49:35,000 --> 00:49:38,000
Speaker 1: you know how I took him a long time too.

906
00:49:38,640 --> 00:49:42,200
Speaker 1: If I voiced discontent about that was being I was

907
00:49:42,280 --> 00:49:46,239
Speaker 1: unhappy about something, he would watch into trying to fix it,

908
00:49:46,280 --> 00:49:48,440
Speaker 1: fix it, fix it, and I finally had to say it, Look,

909
00:49:48,719 --> 00:49:50,960
Speaker 1: I sometimes just need you to hear me, just let

910
00:49:51,040 --> 00:49:55,440
Speaker 1: me vent. Like I'm not asking you to solve every problem.

911
00:49:55,520 --> 00:49:57,840
Speaker 1: But I did in the beginning. Do I like to

912
00:49:58,000 --> 00:50:00,520
Speaker 1: I look good in this thing? Did you do? Do

913
00:50:00,640 --> 00:50:03,480
Speaker 1: I do I like this food? You know? Which is

914
00:50:03,520 --> 00:50:05,719
Speaker 1: the way I used to be with my mother. You know,

915
00:50:06,640 --> 00:50:09,680
Speaker 1: People would say do you like like the food? And

916
00:50:09,719 --> 00:50:13,279
Speaker 1: I'd be like, I never thought consider it, you know,

917
00:50:13,440 --> 00:50:16,880
Speaker 1: And so there was a bit of that in our relationship, Babe,

918
00:50:16,960 --> 00:50:18,160
Speaker 1: you a little bit and then you grew up in

919
00:50:18,160 --> 00:50:21,439
Speaker 1: the relationship I wanted to not very comfortable being taken

920
00:50:21,480 --> 00:50:24,200
Speaker 1: care of for a little while. Are you competitive at all?

921
00:50:24,239 --> 00:50:26,239
Speaker 1: Because I'm busy and you have that because you're both

922
00:50:26,280 --> 00:50:28,959
Speaker 1: a very serious career, so I would imagine, and there's

923
00:50:29,120 --> 00:50:33,759
Speaker 1: not similar careers but not totally dissimilar. So is how

924
00:50:33,840 --> 00:50:36,239
Speaker 1: does that? Is there a struggle with that? Um No,

925
00:50:36,640 --> 00:50:40,680
Speaker 1: it's so different. And I champion his what he's doing

926
00:50:40,800 --> 00:50:43,040
Speaker 1: and his I've always wanted him to direct, and now

927
00:50:43,120 --> 00:50:46,560
Speaker 1: he's directing more so it's exciting, um and proud of him.

928
00:50:47,400 --> 00:50:50,680
Speaker 1: I will say it took me a long time to

929
00:50:50,840 --> 00:50:57,719
Speaker 1: get over um not or to to to not assume

930
00:50:58,360 --> 00:51:00,719
Speaker 1: that because he was my husband, that I could be

931
00:51:00,760 --> 00:51:04,800
Speaker 1: in every one of his movies. I just assumed that

932
00:51:04,960 --> 00:51:07,760
Speaker 1: I was, you know, his his mws, and that everybody

933
00:51:07,840 --> 00:51:11,279
Speaker 1: was gonna want me, and you know they didn't, you know,

934
00:51:11,560 --> 00:51:15,279
Speaker 1: so I've you know, that's hurt. It's you know, when

935
00:51:15,320 --> 00:51:17,319
Speaker 1: it was true. And finally I said to him one day,

936
00:51:17,360 --> 00:51:19,480
Speaker 1: I was like, oh my god, bab I'm so sorry.

937
00:51:20,239 --> 00:51:23,760
Speaker 1: I have been putting this on you quietly and overtly,

938
00:51:23,840 --> 00:51:26,200
Speaker 1: which is the worst. And I said, and I've been

939
00:51:26,640 --> 00:51:29,000
Speaker 1: I've been pining for it, and then I've been resenting you,

940
00:51:29,400 --> 00:51:31,880
Speaker 1: and I was like, there's enough work to go around.

941
00:51:32,360 --> 00:51:34,800
Speaker 1: I am fine, please take like, take me off the

942
00:51:34,920 --> 00:51:40,520
Speaker 1: list because it's you know, it's inevitably didn't work. And

943
00:51:40,680 --> 00:51:45,680
Speaker 1: I don't just because I didn't everybody. It wasn't owed

944
00:51:45,760 --> 00:51:48,960
Speaker 1: to me, you know, And you know, he wasn't the

945
00:51:49,120 --> 00:51:51,000
Speaker 1: type of he wasn't directing, but he wasn't the type

946
00:51:51,040 --> 00:51:53,280
Speaker 1: of director that was going to put his wife and everything.

947
00:51:53,440 --> 00:51:56,719
Speaker 1: He's going into those rooms, right, those producer rooms, and

948
00:51:56,800 --> 00:51:59,839
Speaker 1: the hearing he's hearing everything that networks say, he's hearing

949
00:52:00,000 --> 00:52:03,439
Speaker 1: everything that the executives say. It was so much better

950
00:52:03,560 --> 00:52:06,160
Speaker 1: for him to, in his mind and that way divorced

951
00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:10,640
Speaker 1: himself from me because it's so brutal, and he would

952
00:52:10,719 --> 00:52:12,600
Speaker 1: it's too much for him to have to take. I'm

953
00:52:12,640 --> 00:52:15,200
Speaker 1: not saying everything was nic You might not be the

954
00:52:15,239 --> 00:52:18,600
Speaker 1: best thing for the same very See, that's it took

955
00:52:18,600 --> 00:52:20,640
Speaker 1: me a while to get around to that, you know

956
00:52:20,719 --> 00:52:23,759
Speaker 1: what I mean. And that's just the truth. For whatever

957
00:52:23,800 --> 00:52:25,520
Speaker 1: they're looking for, I don't mean about and that is

958
00:52:25,920 --> 00:52:28,320
Speaker 1: and then you don't know whatever that every film has that.

959
00:52:28,560 --> 00:52:30,880
Speaker 1: And I didn't know that until I became a producer,

960
00:52:31,360 --> 00:52:33,080
Speaker 1: and you'd see someone with a lot of talent and

961
00:52:33,200 --> 00:52:36,680
Speaker 1: you think, oh, yeah, they're unfortunately their teachall. They're burnett,

962
00:52:36,680 --> 00:52:38,680
Speaker 1: they're blonde, they need to be a little like And

963
00:52:38,840 --> 00:52:40,880
Speaker 1: so once I sort of was on the other side

964
00:52:40,920 --> 00:52:43,919
Speaker 1: of that, once I started producing, then I started thinking,

965
00:52:43,960 --> 00:52:46,600
Speaker 1: oh my god, it's not personal, but they all have talent.

966
00:52:47,000 --> 00:52:49,400
Speaker 1: The assumption is if you're coming in on something or

967
00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:51,800
Speaker 1: they're looking there considering you, the assumption is you have

968
00:52:51,920 --> 00:52:54,239
Speaker 1: talent the way you wouldn't have been in that room.

969
00:52:54,719 --> 00:52:58,040
Speaker 1: So you know, that was a learning curve for me too.

970
00:52:58,120 --> 00:53:01,920
Speaker 1: But when I released him from did you write for me?

971
00:53:01,960 --> 00:53:03,279
Speaker 1: Did you write for me? Do you write anything for me?

972
00:53:03,320 --> 00:53:05,440
Speaker 1: And pick something for me? You know, I wasn't that bad,

973
00:53:05,520 --> 00:53:10,200
Speaker 1: but I'm sure he felt it like that. I just grew,

974
00:53:11,120 --> 00:53:15,440
Speaker 1: but just brought it broadened our horizon together. I cut

975
00:53:15,520 --> 00:53:19,440
Speaker 1: him loose, you know, from my insecurities and needs and

976
00:53:20,080 --> 00:53:23,440
Speaker 1: and then it also made me go, like self advocate brook,

977
00:53:24,160 --> 00:53:26,200
Speaker 1: you know, do you like your agents? Do not like

978
00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:28,560
Speaker 1: your agents? I've never even been with agencies before. It

979
00:53:28,600 --> 00:53:31,080
Speaker 1: was all my only my mother. That brings me to

980
00:53:31,400 --> 00:53:33,200
Speaker 1: I guess the last thing I wanted to ask you,

981
00:53:33,280 --> 00:53:35,960
Speaker 1: which was of your career, Not of your life, not

982
00:53:36,160 --> 00:53:38,560
Speaker 1: your kids, um or your marriage, but of your career,

983
00:53:39,080 --> 00:53:41,319
Speaker 1: your rose and your thorn, the high and the low.

984
00:53:41,840 --> 00:53:46,080
Speaker 1: My high was suddenly Susan, Absolutely suddenly Susan. I could

985
00:53:46,120 --> 00:53:49,040
Speaker 1: not wait to get to work every day. Um. And

986
00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:52,640
Speaker 1: I'd never been in sitcoms before, so it was it

987
00:53:52,760 --> 00:53:54,520
Speaker 1: was a lot of thinking on your feet, a lot

988
00:53:54,600 --> 00:53:57,439
Speaker 1: of re memorization and having to to pivot and really

989
00:53:57,520 --> 00:54:01,320
Speaker 1: and I love that type of um in the trenches

990
00:54:01,480 --> 00:54:03,440
Speaker 1: kind of a thing. And it was the first time

991
00:54:03,480 --> 00:54:08,200
Speaker 1: I ever really got to be funny and do it

992
00:54:08,400 --> 00:54:11,480
Speaker 1: and no and know that I'm good at it and

993
00:54:11,680 --> 00:54:15,319
Speaker 1: learning more all the time and finding finding my own

994
00:54:15,480 --> 00:54:19,920
Speaker 1: sense of humor and self and that type of actress

995
00:54:20,440 --> 00:54:25,640
Speaker 1: um thorn. I did a Broadway show, first time I

996
00:54:25,760 --> 00:54:30,000
Speaker 1: was going to originate it, and I should not have

997
00:54:30,280 --> 00:54:36,040
Speaker 1: been cast as the character. Um. My strength on Broadway

998
00:54:36,320 --> 00:54:41,600
Speaker 1: is doing all of it. Um well enough. You know,

999
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:45,480
Speaker 1: I'm the whole package. I can dance enough, sing enough,

1000
00:54:45,719 --> 00:54:48,720
Speaker 1: act enough, be the and then have the name whatever

1001
00:54:48,760 --> 00:54:51,360
Speaker 1: they need for box office, right, So I'm the whole package.

1002
00:54:52,040 --> 00:54:56,680
Speaker 1: Put me in a spotlight and have me sing opposite Jeno,

1003
00:54:57,600 --> 00:55:01,120
Speaker 1: you know, not gonna happen. Like put me opposite the

1004
00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:04,399
Speaker 1: best person in whatever Broadway show who's a real humver,

1005
00:55:04,520 --> 00:55:07,759
Speaker 1: and that I'm not going to outdance that person. So

1006
00:55:08,200 --> 00:55:11,959
Speaker 1: I got hired to this job, and it vocally wasn't

1007
00:55:12,000 --> 00:55:16,120
Speaker 1: in my range. Um it was. It was just it

1008
00:55:16,320 --> 00:55:19,360
Speaker 1: was doomed from the beginning. I broke my hand. It

1009
00:55:19,480 --> 00:55:23,279
Speaker 1: was terrifying, and I worked so hard and I was

1010
00:55:23,400 --> 00:55:26,800
Speaker 1: working against it wasn't it wasn't right for me. But

1011
00:55:26,920 --> 00:55:29,760
Speaker 1: they wanted me to get the financing, and they wanted

1012
00:55:29,840 --> 00:55:34,520
Speaker 1: my name to get the financing. And and then what

1013
00:55:34,719 --> 00:55:38,440
Speaker 1: what then what started happening was I started getting criticized

1014
00:55:38,760 --> 00:55:44,759
Speaker 1: for not being talented because I was out. You are

1015
00:55:44,880 --> 00:55:46,320
Speaker 1: you were all of us put on the field in

1016
00:55:46,320 --> 00:55:48,920
Speaker 1: the Super Bowl, and you're like, I tossed the ball around,

1017
00:55:48,960 --> 00:55:51,399
Speaker 1: but I'm not, you know Tom Braid exactly and there

1018
00:55:51,719 --> 00:55:54,640
Speaker 1: that sounds horrified, and it was, and and I mean

1019
00:55:54,800 --> 00:55:58,200
Speaker 1: every sign in the world was put towards I tore

1020
00:55:58,280 --> 00:56:02,279
Speaker 1: my calf muscle, I oake my hand completely through, but

1021
00:56:02,440 --> 00:56:05,080
Speaker 1: I didn't want to quit. I didn't want to, and

1022
00:56:05,160 --> 00:56:08,239
Speaker 1: this was my chance to originate a role. And I

1023
00:56:08,960 --> 00:56:10,520
Speaker 1: and they kept saying, well, we're going to rewrite it.

1024
00:56:10,600 --> 00:56:12,080
Speaker 1: So I kept thinking they were going to write it

1025
00:56:12,239 --> 00:56:17,080
Speaker 1: for me, they knew what they wanted, and the you

1026
00:56:17,160 --> 00:56:20,200
Speaker 1: know what I mean, they weren't and so and they

1027
00:56:20,320 --> 00:56:22,800
Speaker 1: and I worked so hard. I worked. I was trained

1028
00:56:22,960 --> 00:56:27,640
Speaker 1: every day and you know, definitely leap some bounds. But

1029
00:56:28,239 --> 00:56:31,040
Speaker 1: when it got right down to the singleness of it,

1030
00:56:31,520 --> 00:56:34,000
Speaker 1: I wasn't able to be It wasn't funny enough. I

1031
00:56:34,080 --> 00:56:36,480
Speaker 1: didn't do any dancing in it. Well, the pressure too.

1032
00:56:36,560 --> 00:56:38,480
Speaker 1: You can't work like that. You probably couldn't even be

1033
00:56:38,560 --> 00:56:40,480
Speaker 1: free enough to be creative. And that's a good message

1034
00:56:40,520 --> 00:56:44,080
Speaker 1: for people that it's good to challenge ourselves, but you

1035
00:56:44,200 --> 00:56:46,400
Speaker 1: don't want to get too far over your skis because

1036
00:56:46,440 --> 00:56:48,800
Speaker 1: if you do, you're lucky you were able to recover

1037
00:56:48,880 --> 00:56:51,360
Speaker 1: from it could have affected your career very, very seriously,

1038
00:56:51,520 --> 00:56:54,520
Speaker 1: because that stuff happens. You go into something and you're like,

1039
00:56:54,600 --> 00:56:56,759
Speaker 1: I'll figure it out, and you, like I said, you

1040
00:56:56,800 --> 00:56:58,160
Speaker 1: have to push it. Like in yoga, you want to

1041
00:56:58,239 --> 00:56:59,719
Speaker 1: get a little bit stretched, but you don't want to

1042
00:56:59,719 --> 00:57:02,800
Speaker 1: have you know, otherwise you're gonna hurt yourself. And that

1043
00:57:02,880 --> 00:57:05,080
Speaker 1: happens in business too. If you go too far. It

1044
00:57:05,239 --> 00:57:07,400
Speaker 1: doesn't know what happens. I mean, I could learn a

1045
00:57:07,480 --> 00:57:11,360
Speaker 1: lot from you in business. But um I then I

1046
00:57:11,520 --> 00:57:16,080
Speaker 1: said to everybody, UM, I don't want to. I should

1047
00:57:16,120 --> 00:57:19,680
Speaker 1: not take this to Broadway because unless it changes, I will,

1048
00:57:19,960 --> 00:57:23,200
Speaker 1: I will. It's like being in front of a firing squad.

1049
00:57:23,240 --> 00:57:24,840
Speaker 1: I said, this is a this is a wrong of

1050
00:57:24,960 --> 00:57:29,560
Speaker 1: the stake, career and a career destroyer. And they had

1051
00:57:29,640 --> 00:57:32,760
Speaker 1: gotten the financing from my name attached, but then they

1052
00:57:33,000 --> 00:57:37,120
Speaker 1: switched it around and they ended up, unbeknownst to me,

1053
00:57:37,800 --> 00:57:41,920
Speaker 1: casting somebody else. And they were supposed to give me

1054
00:57:42,040 --> 00:57:44,520
Speaker 1: right of refusal, and I was, you know, to go

1055
00:57:44,640 --> 00:57:47,120
Speaker 1: to Broadway. I was supposed to say, do I want

1056
00:57:47,160 --> 00:57:49,320
Speaker 1: to take it to Broadway or do not? So I

1057
00:57:49,840 --> 00:57:51,520
Speaker 1: thought I was going to get a chance to actually

1058
00:57:51,640 --> 00:57:53,640
Speaker 1: voice that. So I said it to my agents and stuff.

1059
00:57:54,040 --> 00:57:57,760
Speaker 1: And they went in such a way and they hired

1060
00:57:57,840 --> 00:58:01,600
Speaker 1: this other girl and they opened on Broadway while I

1061
00:58:01,760 --> 00:58:06,880
Speaker 1: was doing Adam's Fanley on Broadway, and and they closed

1062
00:58:06,920 --> 00:58:10,000
Speaker 1: in a week. What a that was a dodged bullet?

1063
00:58:10,560 --> 00:58:15,520
Speaker 1: Wow Thorn that's like, actually, that's also a rose because

1064
00:58:15,560 --> 00:58:16,880
Speaker 1: you got out of that. I mean, that's like a

1065
00:58:17,000 --> 00:58:18,880
Speaker 1: roseann A Thorne wrapped in one because if you had

1066
00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:21,200
Speaker 1: done it, that would have been brewed. But it wasn't. Unscared, No,

1067
00:58:22,240 --> 00:58:25,240
Speaker 1: you know, the press was like, well, she's never been,

1068
00:58:25,760 --> 00:58:29,000
Speaker 1: you know, a vocal powerhouse. Yeah, it just was. No.

1069
00:58:29,120 --> 00:58:33,200
Speaker 1: I guess what I've never I never said all your

1070
00:58:33,800 --> 00:58:37,240
Speaker 1: when you didn't do anything wrong, that's unbelievable. Well, and

1071
00:58:37,320 --> 00:58:40,120
Speaker 1: when I do, if I do a cabaret show, it's

1072
00:58:40,160 --> 00:58:42,520
Speaker 1: a show in its entirety. I'm not gonna stand in

1073
00:58:42,600 --> 00:58:47,640
Speaker 1: front of a mic just like all right, And I

1074
00:58:48,600 --> 00:58:51,880
Speaker 1: can't look at that as failure, you know, because guess what,

1075
00:58:53,040 --> 00:58:55,960
Speaker 1: those people of the world couldn't sing and dance and

1076
00:58:56,040 --> 00:58:59,520
Speaker 1: act in Wonderful Town on Broadway either not therefore take

1077
00:59:00,240 --> 00:59:02,400
Speaker 1: you know, it's like, and I don't really believe in

1078
00:59:02,480 --> 00:59:05,040
Speaker 1: knowing your lane. Well, we've learned more from our failures.

1079
00:59:05,520 --> 00:59:07,800
Speaker 1: We learn more from our famires and our successes, for sure,

1080
00:59:08,000 --> 00:59:11,440
Speaker 1: you know. So that what an amazing see I know

1081
00:59:11,600 --> 00:59:14,000
Speaker 1: so much more about you now. I'm so thrilled. And

1082
00:59:14,160 --> 00:59:16,040
Speaker 1: Jill was so excited for us to talk and I'm

1083
00:59:16,080 --> 00:59:18,400
Speaker 1: just so excited that thank you, thank you, um, and

1084
00:59:18,640 --> 00:59:20,960
Speaker 1: just to spend this time together and now we know

1085
00:59:21,120 --> 00:59:23,360
Speaker 1: each other, I feel much better. And now when I

1086
00:59:23,600 --> 00:59:26,840
Speaker 1: my launch my show by my my podcast, which I

1087
00:59:26,880 --> 00:59:30,240
Speaker 1: will be doing, I'll come and we'll chat them again too.

1088
00:59:30,880 --> 00:59:32,840
Speaker 1: I would love that. Okay, Well tell Chris I said hello,

1089
00:59:33,040 --> 00:59:36,680
Speaker 1: loved your family and have an amazing day. Thank you too.

1090
00:59:43,200 --> 00:59:48,720
Speaker 1: That was so lovely. Uh Brookshields was so wonderful to

1091
00:59:48,800 --> 00:59:51,320
Speaker 1: talk to. Every guest is so different, and that was

1092
00:59:51,440 --> 00:59:54,560
Speaker 1: more of a free flowing woman to woman conversation, really

1093
00:59:54,640 --> 00:59:58,320
Speaker 1: getting inside who she is and her journey. I love

1094
00:59:58,360 --> 01:00:03,320
Speaker 1: it so much. Her website is beginning is now and

1095
01:00:03,680 --> 01:00:06,120
Speaker 1: we wish her the absolute best. That was a delight,

1096
01:00:06,800 --> 01:00:09,040
Speaker 1: So thank you so much for all of your comments.

1097
01:00:09,520 --> 01:00:14,200
Speaker 1: Remember to rate, review and subscribe. Loving all the comments,

1098
01:00:14,360 --> 01:00:17,439
Speaker 1: loving the ratings, UM and we're doing really well thanks

1099
01:00:17,480 --> 01:00:18,760
Speaker 1: to you, so I appreciate you.