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Speaker 1: Hi. I am Kate Hudson and my name is Oliver Hudson.

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Speaker 1: We wanted to do something that highlighted our relationship and

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Speaker 1: what it's like to be siblings. We are a sibling. Railvalry, No, no, sibling,

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Speaker 1: don't do that with your mouth, revelry. That's good. Do

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Speaker 1: it again? Hello? Hello? Hello? Yeah, your levels are lower?

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Speaker 1: He talk so quiet? Oh? I mean can I turn

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Speaker 1: on my volume? What's what I'm doing? Then? Here? Oh

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Speaker 1: I can talk louder. Yeah. We always trying to talk,

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Speaker 1: and it's sort of like seltry vous? What like? Right

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Speaker 1: now your microphone is seventeen feet from your mouth because

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Speaker 1: I was taking a sip of my coffee. But your

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Speaker 1: voice does you do have different voices? So do you not? Really?

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Speaker 1: Oh my god, you do? You for sure have different

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Speaker 1: voices for different friends, like you have you know, five six, whatever,

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Speaker 1: like really great friends. I would bet money that, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that based on how you are talking right to that person,

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Speaker 1: I could guess what friend it is for sure. Probably.

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Speaker 1: Then why do you always ask? And I was like,

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Speaker 1: who is that? Well? Because I'm curious if I'm right?

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Speaker 1: You know, But you talk to Jackie a certain way.

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Speaker 1: You talk to Robin for sure, a certain way glory,

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Speaker 1: you know, machine Sam, everyone like you, you have a

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Speaker 1: different thing. And then when and then when you're ordering

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Speaker 1: food or you're doing you're having a call that requires

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Speaker 1: sort of you to be friendly. I mean you, your

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Speaker 1: your voice goes way up very high octave, like what

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Speaker 1: m It just gets high, you know. And then ordering

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Speaker 1: when you're ordering food too, that's my pet peeve. My

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Speaker 1: voice gets high. No, you're ordering, oh my ordering. I

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Speaker 1: know I'm going to love you. I'm not really preface it.

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Speaker 1: I'll preface it. Preface, preface, preface, preface, by preface. It's early.

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Speaker 1: It's really early already starting with like your pet peeves

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Speaker 1: about me, it's not going to be yes, we just

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Speaker 1: dropped the kids off at the pool you did together.

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Speaker 1: I'm not an early morning person. It's an am podcast,

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Speaker 1: for sure. I thought you were like coming at me

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Speaker 1: right now with like pet peeves. I was going to

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Speaker 1: start to get angry. Well, we can get into pet

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Speaker 1: peeves if you want. I don't think it's a good idea. Why.

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Speaker 1: I don't know, just saying no, But it's it's interesting

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Speaker 1: because I think in relationships, or at least you and I,

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Speaker 1: we each have each other. We each have pet peeves,

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Speaker 1: but they're they're minor, meaning it's not deal breaking ship,

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Speaker 1: but it's there are still things that you do or

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Speaker 1: that I do, that you don't acknowledge in the moment

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Speaker 1: because it's just part of what I do and you

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Speaker 1: live with it. Chewing at night. Right, so let's go

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Speaker 1: over these what what are what are some of yours

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Speaker 1: for me? The chewing, we'll explain, Well, you're like a

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Speaker 1: very dramatic chewer in general. It's not that your mouth

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Speaker 1: is open, you chew with your mouth closed, but it's

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Speaker 1: very like exaggerated and loud. And then a lot of

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Speaker 1: times like you'll get in bed and be crunching on

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Speaker 1: chips or like chewing on things while you're trying to sleep,

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Speaker 1: well I don't know, or read or do something, and

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Speaker 1: I look over and it's just it's me because it's

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Speaker 1: like we're in bed and it's quite extra quiet, but

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Speaker 1: it always feels so loud, and I know you're Sometimes

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Speaker 1: I'm like, is he doing that to annoy me on purpose?

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Speaker 1: Because like sometimes you do like to do that, well,

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Speaker 1: you like to annoy me a little bit. Sometimes I

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Speaker 1: don't really like to do that, do you but just

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Speaker 1: in general, you do sometimes you like to like push buttons. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: that's my personality though, So chewing like in bed at night, Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like when it's quiet and you're the thing is I know,

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Speaker 1: I know that it's loud. I know that it's all.

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Speaker 1: That's like not a big deal, you know. And then

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Speaker 1: you know my other one is like shaving and the

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Speaker 1: sind Oh, the shaving. Yeah, but you've been getting better,

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Speaker 1: you really have. You try and like put down a towel.

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Speaker 1: And I don't know if anybody else has this, but

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Speaker 1: the the shape it's like an electric razor. And the hair,

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Speaker 1: well it's from the beard maanscape, yeah, yeah, and the

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Speaker 1: hair goes everywhere. And we have like a white counter

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Speaker 1: and a white sink and then it's down on the

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Speaker 1: floor and it gets into the crevices of the tiles

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Speaker 1: and like I can't stand that and the hair and

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Speaker 1: it's always a mess. And it's usually like on a

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Speaker 1: day that like you know, just like cleaned up and

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Speaker 1: everything looks nice, and then it's like shit, look in

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Speaker 1: and it's like a black like nest of like shaved

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Speaker 1: hair like in the sink on the counter, and then

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Speaker 1: it's like somehow it gets onto like you know, the

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Speaker 1: toothpaste holder and like the floor and I don't like

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Speaker 1: to like walk, and it's just very hard to like

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Speaker 1: clean up, right, I get that, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 1: Do you ever? Are you ever not in the bathroom?

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Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden you're like, oh yeah,

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Speaker 1: I know, And I'm like, oh no, yep, but you

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Speaker 1: try now you try and put down a towel, and

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Speaker 1: I get it. You definitely try What else am I

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Speaker 1: going to do? Where am I supposed to do that?

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Speaker 1: I mean I can't go outside, Like where am I

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Speaker 1: supposed to shave my bead? You know? What I did

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Speaker 1: see though once on like an Instagram at or somewhere,

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Speaker 1: is like a net thing that like goes over your sink.

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Speaker 1: Someone invented it. I'm sure it was like you know,

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Speaker 1: some wife or partner that created it because they could

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Speaker 1: stand it. I mean, it is insane. I mean there

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Speaker 1: are hairs that fly and crazy everywhere. They're little and

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Speaker 1: they're hard to pick up. Like I don't know, maybe

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Speaker 1: like in the shower, we get like a mirror on

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Speaker 1: the wall and you can do it in there, not

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Speaker 1: when it's shower ring. Like the shower isn't all So

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Speaker 1: just like step into a dry shower, into the shower

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Speaker 1: before you're going to shower, have like a mirror stuck

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Speaker 1: on the wall, you know how sometimes you have that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: there's like the sticky mirrors so you can see it

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Speaker 1: and you do it and then you just clean yourself

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Speaker 1: and all the hair. It's kind of great. Okay, I'm

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Speaker 1: actually glad we had this discussion. And no, it's good.

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Speaker 1: I mean I get that, I get that my ordering

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Speaker 1: what happens too now is like because I know that

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Speaker 1: you don't like it, and then it makes me extra

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Speaker 1: nervous and then it's even harder to make a decision. Okay,

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Speaker 1: It's just I have this anxiety around waiters and you know,

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Speaker 1: or people who are in the service industry who are

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Speaker 1: I know, they have a thousand other tables that they're

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Speaker 1: trying to get to. There's an order of things. Yes,

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Speaker 1: I'm a waitress, I know, I get it. I'm always

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Speaker 1: so polite and nice. You're amazing. I'm just explaining myself.

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Speaker 1: You know, I have an issue with not just you,

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Speaker 1: but people. When the waiter comes around to take an order,

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Speaker 1: it's like, well, god, you know, well what about the

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Speaker 1: is the mac and cheese, Like I mean, well, what

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Speaker 1: about the salmon? And and he's like I don't know,

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Speaker 1: And I'm just sitting there like, oh my god, this

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Speaker 1: person needs to get to the next table, Like fucking

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Speaker 1: let's get the order in and go. But would you

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Speaker 1: rather worry about that person getting to the next table

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Speaker 1: or me ordering the wrong thing and then being like

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Speaker 1: disappointed or annoyed or like, but you need to you

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Speaker 1: need to prep order prep you know what I mean, Like, Okay,

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Speaker 1: we're at a restaurant, Boom, I know what's up, Like

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Speaker 1: the waiter's coming around, and I know what's going on.

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Speaker 1: But sometimes I don't. I get scared. I don't know,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. I'm like trying to make

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Speaker 1: a decision on what I want, and then it's like

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Speaker 1: I have an indecisive problem. I mean it's yeah issue.

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Speaker 1: I'm always afraid to like make the wrong decision. I

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Speaker 1: mean it could literally be like do I want like

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Speaker 1: pink gum, like bubble gum or mint? And you know

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Speaker 1: nowadays decisive, I'm indecisive, but I make a choice or

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Speaker 1: a decision to then fucking boom make a choice. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: And half the time you're like pissed with your meal order.

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Speaker 1: You're like, why, it's not just food. I'm just saying

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Speaker 1: in general. I mean, I I have indecision, but you know,

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Speaker 1: I make a choice to be like, okay, fucking just

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Speaker 1: just do it. I mean, in the last couple of days,

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Speaker 1: I've been in clean mode, throwing things out that I

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Speaker 1: have kept for years. But I just like, throw it away,

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Speaker 1: don't think about it, throw it away, don't think about it,

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Speaker 1: or give it away. We're not throwing it away. But yeah, well,

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Speaker 1: I mean I give away the things that I can

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Speaker 1: give away. No, but I know you mean, yeah, you're

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Speaker 1: you're much more better that better at that. And it

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Speaker 1: also does feel good when you do make a decision.

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Speaker 1: It's like, oh I did it. Yeah, yeah, for sure.

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Speaker 1: But I like to make decision. It's like when it

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Speaker 1: comes to planning and you don't. I'm not a planner.

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Speaker 1: I do not like the plan I like spontaneity. But

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Speaker 1: you realize, with the family and plane tickets and travel

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Speaker 1: and packing and all the things that I do that

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Speaker 1: you don't have to think about take planning. No. I mean,

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Speaker 1: for a second, to get serious for a second, that

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Speaker 1: is something that I think about. You know that I

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Speaker 1: do tell you. But the little things that you do,

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Speaker 1: and I think this is probably relatable in a lot

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Speaker 1: of relationships. You know, the things that get taken for granted.

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Speaker 1: Mm hmm. This should gonna be something nice. You're gonna, yeah,

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Speaker 1: the ship that you have to take care of, or

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Speaker 1: the things that you do, the small things to make

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Speaker 1: the whole thing run, things that I could never do.

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Speaker 1: It's amazing. I mean, it really is just the little things.

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Speaker 1: No I think about it, you know, And I think

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Speaker 1: that the kids don't understand that either, you know, they

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Speaker 1: need to understand like all those little things that go

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Speaker 1: into making their life easier, you know. I know, so true. Well,

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Speaker 1: I like to be organized. I'm like not an organized person,

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Speaker 1: but I crave it, you know. So You're you're an

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Speaker 1: interesting human being. There's great juxtaposition going on, like you

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Speaker 1: need organization, but you on don't know how to do it,

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Speaker 1: can't do it. I can't. I my favorite store, like

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Speaker 1: in the world, one of them anyways, you know what

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Speaker 1: it is, then container store. I get giddy when I

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Speaker 1: see it. When I walk in. I usually end up

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Speaker 1: buying and you know, hundreds of dollars of worth of

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Speaker 1: like organizational products, and then they come home and then

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Speaker 1: they just sit here because I don't know how to

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Speaker 1: do that. The amount of bins that we've had in

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Speaker 1: our twenty years of being together, I mean you could

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Speaker 1: stack those, you know, thirty thousand feet in the air.

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Speaker 1: We've had so many bins. It's crazy. No, I know,

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Speaker 1: it's it's hard. It's a hard one. I like, you know,

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Speaker 1: a couple of like my best friends in the whole

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Speaker 1: world are literally borderline OCD like organized, and I envy it.

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Speaker 1: You know, there's no clutter, there's no like piles in

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Speaker 1: their house, and there's no you know, I look at

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Speaker 1: things sometimes and I just don't have that that part,

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Speaker 1: you know, that gene that like where everything goes and

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Speaker 1: it goes in its place. Now, when I do that,

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Speaker 1: it's amazing. It's just keeping it up. I'm not great

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Speaker 1: at that part. But so why is the house always

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Speaker 1: so chaotic? Well, because first of all, I'm the only one,

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Speaker 1: because no one else would ever do anything, like think

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Speaker 1: about the things that just sit on the stairs. Does

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Speaker 1: anybody else have this? Okay, we have an upstairs and

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Speaker 1: everything that gets brought down during the day or from

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Speaker 1: the kitchen to go upstairs, let's say, or from upstairs

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Speaker 1: toys and things like that that get brought down. No

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Speaker 1: one puts anything away like that's one thing. Well, shit

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Speaker 1: just gets draped over things, over things. It's like on

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Speaker 1: a chair, on a on a countertop, like you know,

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Speaker 1: things don't get put back in their place. Really, I

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Speaker 1: mean Wilder now finally at fourteen, like keeps his ship. Well,

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Speaker 1: he cares about the cares room room. But what he

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Speaker 1: does is like his space looks amazing. I mean he's

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Speaker 1: literally like organized, and you know he likes to clean

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Speaker 1: it all up and make everything any of his room, yes,

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Speaker 1: but he doesn't want in his room. He just takes

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Speaker 1: and puts outside of his room allways, like stacks of

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Speaker 1: shit outside of his room. That's so Fun's immaculate outside

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Speaker 1: the best room in the house, for sure, it's beautiful.

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Speaker 1: But everything he doesn't want just stacked up right outside

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Speaker 1: of his door. I know. Well it's hard with kids,

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Speaker 1: I mean, honestly, like three kids, two dogs, No, I know.

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Speaker 1: And this is the way we us, That's the way

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Speaker 1: we were. Whether people live organized, we sometimes get overwhelmed

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Speaker 1: by the kids frat house that we live in, honestly,

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Speaker 1: but that's just the way we fucking do it. I mean,

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Speaker 1: you look at our friends who have three kids, who

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Speaker 1: have a nice adult home. It's not us. We don't

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Speaker 1: have that. There's a reason for it, you know what

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Speaker 1: I mean, like it's my vault or no. I mean,

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Speaker 1: but like I can't. Here's the thing, It's like we

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Speaker 1: live out of laundry baskets because I feel like all

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Speaker 1: I do is say laundry between teenage boys, like you know,

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Speaker 1: workout clothes, towels, you know everything. So how how do

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Speaker 1: other people do it? How do our friends? I don't, No,

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Speaker 1: Like I just don't have time to like fold laundry

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Speaker 1: and put it away, So I have clean baskets and

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Speaker 1: dirty baskets. And then it's just like a free for all. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: it's like this is a clean basket of clothes. Get

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Speaker 1: in there and you know, deal with the wrinkles, get

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Speaker 1: what you need. It's like who has time for that?

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Speaker 1: Like the other thing is and I'm sure like a

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Speaker 1: lot of moms feel this way too, But like by

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Speaker 1: the time like the kids go down, is when you think,

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Speaker 1: like and this is how some people do work. That's

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Speaker 1: when they like clean up and tidy up and I'm done.

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Speaker 1: At that point, my bet is calling me. I want

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Speaker 1: to do nothing but like not be needed, and just

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Speaker 1: like I get in bed and it's like done. So

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Speaker 1: if I don't get stuff done during the day but

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Speaker 1: then and I'm not complaining, it's just a funny thing.

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Speaker 1: But it's like if you clean one room and then

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Speaker 1: you go into the next, all of a sudden you

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Speaker 1: come back and it's like the chaos of the day,

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Speaker 1: backpack snacks, you know, art projects out on the table,

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Speaker 1: like you know, whatever it might be. It's impossible to

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Speaker 1: get ahead. Yeah, and we travel a lot. So like

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Speaker 1: right now sitting next to us is our bags from

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Speaker 1: weekend now from Laguna. Yeah, in one week, we were

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Speaker 1: in Colorado on a Sunday, La Albuquerque, New Mexico, down

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Speaker 1: to Laguna for the weekend, and then back home first

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Speaker 1: night of school. Yeah, so I still have bags because

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Speaker 1: I come in and I'm like, I don't need anything

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Speaker 1: in that bag for this next trip because it's a

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Speaker 1: different place, I know, and then the unpacking of the bags.

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Speaker 1: But like literally one of my best friends Sam, we

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Speaker 1: came home from the same trip and I said to her,

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Speaker 1: I made it, said something like, oh, you know I'm

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Speaker 1: just going to be unpacking tomorrow. And she's like, wait,

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Speaker 1: are you forgetting who I am? She's like, I'm already

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Speaker 1: unpacked because she literally gets home, takes out the suitcases

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Speaker 1: and unpacks immediately. Oh yeah, ours will sit for weeks.

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Speaker 1: Well that's the difference. That's the difference between us in

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Speaker 1: them just them meaning collective and collective them, the general them,

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Speaker 1: you know who do that stuff. Like we just let

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Speaker 1: that shit sit because we get home and it's like,

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Speaker 1: all right, let's just let's just chill for let's just

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Speaker 1: chill and then we'll get to it. So Danielle Santaur,

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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, she's a friend. Yes, did a post

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Speaker 1: or something like a long time ago, and I laughed

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Speaker 1: because I was like, oh my god, I so get this.

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Speaker 1: Like our bed in the morning, Like a lot of

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Speaker 1: people will make their bed, and I think it's the

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Speaker 1: center of the bedroom. If the bed is a mess,

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Speaker 1: the rest of the room kind of feels like a mess, right,

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Speaker 1: even if your side tables are messy or there's launder

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Speaker 1: or whatever. And but like I'm not making my bed

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Speaker 1: in the morning. I'm rushing around trying to get kids

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Speaker 1: ready for school whatever. But she was like, am I

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Speaker 1: the only one that before I get in bed at night?

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Speaker 1: I will make the bed? You do? I do? No?

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Speaker 1: But Danielle did this and she did a post and

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Speaker 1: I remember like literally being like, oh my god, there's

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Speaker 1: another person on the planet that does this, which is

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Speaker 1: I like a tidy looking bed, you know, tighten the

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Speaker 1: sheets up, plus put your pillows already, get the comforter

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Speaker 1: straight and the whole thing. And then it's like, get that.

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't do that, but I get it, Like I

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Speaker 1: look at it. If I saw you doing that one

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Speaker 1: oh my god, I'd get so laid. You really will,

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Speaker 1: for sure. For sure, you start like organizing things and

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Speaker 1: you're off, you know, I'd be yeah, bent over the bed, yeah,

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Speaker 1: one hundred. You just randomly walked in, and I'm like,

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Speaker 1: you know, fucking bouncing quarters off the bed and making

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Speaker 1: it tight. I love it. You're laughing so hard because

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Speaker 1: it's like something I would never do. No, I mean

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Speaker 1: when you're not here, you're on girls' weekends or whatever,

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Speaker 1: like you know, oh the house. Oh I don't get it. No, No,

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Speaker 1: but see that's not true. No, No, I want to

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Speaker 1: go on record here. When I'm alone, I clean, which

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Speaker 1: means you mean you're cleaner, isn't here me? No? Yeah, no, yeah,

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00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:13,720
Speaker 1: yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah, meaning you know I do.

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Speaker 1: I don't like to live in filth. So when i'm

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Speaker 1: when i'm not when you were gone, like, I am

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Speaker 1: much more proactive. I'm no, I agree, I agree, and

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Speaker 1: then I always try to make the house look nice

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Speaker 1: for when you come back. I know you do, because

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00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:32,080
Speaker 1: that's one of our love languages. Yeah, I think it's

323
00:19:32,160 --> 00:19:39,400
Speaker 1: the most underrated, oh genius like relationship saving book out there,

324
00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:42,919
Speaker 1: the Five Languages of Love. No, do yourself a favor.

325
00:19:43,119 --> 00:19:47,760
Speaker 1: It's simple, and it's it's so accurate, simple and once

326
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:50,440
Speaker 1: you read it and really get it. And actually, yeah,

327
00:19:50,480 --> 00:19:52,840
Speaker 1: he was on this podcast. I know, I know. I

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00:19:52,880 --> 00:19:55,479
Speaker 1: wish she was here with us right now. I know

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00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:59,359
Speaker 1: because I know, speaking of that physical touch, which is

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00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:05,080
Speaker 1: mine getting back to you, yeah, you know, I've been

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00:20:05,240 --> 00:20:08,639
Speaker 1: lacking a little bit. I mean, you know, really a

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00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:12,800
Speaker 1: little bit. Maybe. Yeah, I mean it's fine, you know,

333
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:15,919
Speaker 1: you just it's not your deal. You don't you're not

334
00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:21,040
Speaker 1: touchy feely, just generally well, I'm affectionate, like I'm like,

335
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:24,520
Speaker 1: I know, but let's let's let's just say, hold on,

336
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:29,520
Speaker 1: let's be honest. Would you agree that you are very

337
00:20:29,560 --> 00:20:33,159
Speaker 1: needy in the affection area. So I am like an

338
00:20:33,200 --> 00:20:36,480
Speaker 1: affectionate person, but I need to do a lot more

339
00:20:36,880 --> 00:20:41,400
Speaker 1: than I do for you because it is your love language.

340
00:20:41,720 --> 00:20:44,280
Speaker 1: I like rubbing your bag and your head, like I

341
00:20:44,320 --> 00:20:49,280
Speaker 1: come over and I cuddle on you. You You do. I

342
00:20:49,320 --> 00:20:51,400
Speaker 1: mean the last five months, what you've been going through,

343
00:20:51,480 --> 00:20:54,600
Speaker 1: you haven't been like like you've been rubbing on your

344
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:57,040
Speaker 1: scratching your head. I've been good. You've been good. You've

345
00:20:57,040 --> 00:21:00,399
Speaker 1: been good, but I will say this, I could do better. No, Okay,

346
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,879
Speaker 1: it's been like maybe two weeks since I've been you know,

347
00:21:04,800 --> 00:21:09,720
Speaker 1: a ten being one back to myself. Right, I'm I'm

348
00:21:09,760 --> 00:21:11,760
Speaker 1: going to nine. Yeah. I still have some shit, but

349
00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:15,119
Speaker 1: I'm pretty much back right Yeah. And so once you

350
00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:18,000
Speaker 1: saw me back back, you're like, all right, my job

351
00:21:18,080 --> 00:21:21,959
Speaker 1: is done. You're like, oh he's back. Oh he does

352
00:21:22,119 --> 00:21:25,439
Speaker 1: Oh good Fox. I don't need to feal that. But also,

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Speaker 1: for the last two weeks, I've been packing up after

354
00:21:27,880 --> 00:21:32,000
Speaker 1: living somewhere for an entire not even about taking thirty

355
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,680
Speaker 1: minutes out of your day to like cuddle me. It's

356
00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:38,720
Speaker 1: the small thing, but I reach over into bed, you know,

357
00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:43,080
Speaker 1: every day morning and evening, and I just touched you. Yeah,

358
00:21:43,320 --> 00:21:46,760
Speaker 1: let's see how I do from now until the next

359
00:21:47,119 --> 00:21:50,200
Speaker 1: podcast in the affection area. Because it is your love language.

360
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:53,520
Speaker 1: I need to you know. But here's the thing. It

361
00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:56,280
Speaker 1: doesn't come, you know, say naturally to me. I have

362
00:21:56,359 --> 00:21:58,439
Speaker 1: to remember it. This is like where the thing comes in.

363
00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:01,639
Speaker 1: It's work like yours for me. You know what it is,

364
00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:04,640
Speaker 1: and it's a you have to make a conscious effort

365
00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:08,639
Speaker 1: to you know. But I like doing it. I like

366
00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:12,280
Speaker 1: acts of service where I didn't before. Once we got

367
00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:15,879
Speaker 1: into this sort of love language thing, or understood that

368
00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:20,600
Speaker 1: people accept, you know, receive and give love in a

369
00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:24,159
Speaker 1: certain way, and there's certain aspects of that that connect

370
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:26,879
Speaker 1: with them more. Once we sort of understood that, I

371
00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:29,960
Speaker 1: had to force myself. It's like anything else, you fake

372
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:32,119
Speaker 1: it before you make it. You can actually change your

373
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:36,000
Speaker 1: brain chemistry if you just jo to s Benza, if

374
00:22:36,040 --> 00:22:40,320
Speaker 1: you just fucking hammer it, even if you're not feeling it,

375
00:22:40,440 --> 00:22:42,480
Speaker 1: even if it's like this isn't inherently who I am.

376
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Speaker 1: But I know my partner likes this, and you have

377
00:22:45,600 --> 00:22:48,080
Speaker 1: to get through it and then and then you start

378
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:51,919
Speaker 1: to like it. I know, and so for me acts

379
00:22:51,920 --> 00:22:55,399
Speaker 1: of service in the beginning was like oh Jesus Christ, okay,

380
00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:57,560
Speaker 1: what am I doing? And this is but now I

381
00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:02,720
Speaker 1: like it. There's a satisfy action that I get for

382
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:05,760
Speaker 1: opening the car door for me, like, yeah, I've been

383
00:23:05,800 --> 00:23:08,000
Speaker 1: doing that more. I know. I love it, but or

384
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:09,600
Speaker 1: how but like when I have the groceries and I

385
00:23:09,640 --> 00:23:11,919
Speaker 1: don't have to ask you to like come help me,

386
00:23:11,920 --> 00:23:14,439
Speaker 1: and you just do it. I know that. But the

387
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:17,000
Speaker 1: thing is, I would do that if I didn't if

388
00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:19,360
Speaker 1: I knew you were coming home, you know what I mean,

389
00:23:19,480 --> 00:23:21,600
Speaker 1: Like you usually call me and you're like, I'm here

390
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:25,160
Speaker 1: with the groceries. I'm like, okay, let's go. I don't

391
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,520
Speaker 1: have a chance to do it. But the car door

392
00:23:27,600 --> 00:23:30,439
Speaker 1: thing is interesting because that's old school, I know, but

393
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:33,800
Speaker 1: it's not really, And I mean to be blunt, I've

394
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:37,879
Speaker 1: never opened car doors, you know, for you or it

395
00:23:38,040 --> 00:23:40,840
Speaker 1: just never even crossed my mind, just like I never

396
00:23:40,920 --> 00:23:43,880
Speaker 1: it never crossed my mind to ask your dad right

397
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:48,560
Speaker 1: for your hand in marriage. Then it wasn't even a thought, right, Well,

398
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:51,520
Speaker 1: you didn't grow up with that. I really didn't. Really.

399
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:53,800
Speaker 1: Your dad is way more old school and he still

400
00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:56,919
Speaker 1: opens car doors for your I mean he additional, he's traditional.

401
00:23:57,000 --> 00:24:00,320
Speaker 1: So yeah, I had to because I felt I feel

402
00:24:00,320 --> 00:24:04,159
Speaker 1: insecure about it. I feel like, God, like, there's a

403
00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:08,399
Speaker 1: weird vulnerability here you go, because I know you're going

404
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:10,800
Speaker 1: to be like on then I feel patronized, and I'm like,

405
00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:16,400
Speaker 1: but it's not like an all like a patronizing it's like, oh, well,

406
00:24:16,400 --> 00:24:18,760
Speaker 1: like what's the movie like Singles or something where like

407
00:24:19,200 --> 00:24:22,040
Speaker 1: she gets in first and then he locks the door, Yeah,

408
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:24,280
Speaker 1: unlocks the door, and then if you unlock it, if

409
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:26,639
Speaker 1: he unlocks the door, yes, like she reaches over and

410
00:24:26,720 --> 00:24:29,359
Speaker 1: unlocks for him. Like it's just that those cute little

411
00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:34,880
Speaker 1: like romantic gestures I love. Like I don't know, Yeah,

412
00:24:34,880 --> 00:24:37,880
Speaker 1: I just had like a gentleman dad, Like I love

413
00:24:37,920 --> 00:24:41,040
Speaker 1: that I know stuff. But you also had a super

414
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:45,480
Speaker 1: like independent mom that like did everything and didn't need anything,

415
00:24:45,920 --> 00:24:49,560
Speaker 1: you know, like I can do things like when I

416
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:51,840
Speaker 1: ask you to do things around the house, like it's

417
00:24:51,840 --> 00:24:55,240
Speaker 1: not like I can't do them. But sometimes I'm just like, eh,

418
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:58,320
Speaker 1: can you change the light bulbs or you know, I

419
00:24:58,400 --> 00:25:00,879
Speaker 1: like it? Yeah, which, by the way, we need to

420
00:25:00,920 --> 00:25:03,960
Speaker 1: do our lights are No. I've been gone all summer

421
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:05,800
Speaker 1: and the lights brea. No, that was a turning point

422
00:25:05,800 --> 00:25:09,320
Speaker 1: in our relationship. The light bulbs. Yeah, remember that that

423
00:25:09,440 --> 00:25:13,560
Speaker 1: was four years ago or three years ago. Yep, you cried, Yep,

424
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:18,680
Speaker 1: literally cried to me. Cried because I didn't do the

425
00:25:18,760 --> 00:25:21,199
Speaker 1: light bulbs. But it was deeper than that, meaning like

426
00:25:21,440 --> 00:25:24,040
Speaker 1: she asked and asked, and I just that was part

427
00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:27,119
Speaker 1: of my turning point of like, okay, acts of service. Well,

428
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:29,199
Speaker 1: you always say you were going to, and then it

429
00:25:29,240 --> 00:25:31,480
Speaker 1: became like me nagging, and then it was like an

430
00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:32,879
Speaker 1: issue and I'm like, don't say you're gonna do it

431
00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:36,439
Speaker 1: if you're not going to, like you know, it just

432
00:25:36,840 --> 00:25:39,439
Speaker 1: dug in deeper. It wasn't about the and then you

433
00:25:39,480 --> 00:25:41,480
Speaker 1: cried the light bulbs, and then I did. I think

434
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:44,720
Speaker 1: I cried a little bit. You're like, you just don't

435
00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:49,320
Speaker 1: do the light bulbs. Fuck you do the goddamn light bulbs. Translation,

436
00:25:49,480 --> 00:25:59,880
Speaker 1: you don't care about me. Yeah, cores light official beer.

437
00:26:00,080 --> 00:26:02,560
Speaker 1: Slowing down Summer. I kind of feel like it's always

438
00:26:02,560 --> 00:26:05,240
Speaker 1: the shortest season and then you have to make the

439
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:08,359
Speaker 1: most of it. Everybody's rushing, rushing, rush, rushing, rushing, rushing.

440
00:26:08,840 --> 00:26:10,520
Speaker 1: All we have to do is just chill out. I

441
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:13,120
Speaker 1: still feel like I'm in eighth grade. When summer comes around,

442
00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:16,320
Speaker 1: I just stop answering calls. I'm on summer break, so

443
00:26:17,040 --> 00:26:21,320
Speaker 1: you can pop open your little course Light. It's cold loggered,

444
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445
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446
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447
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448
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Speaker 1: give up yet. We've got a couple of weeks left,

449
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Speaker 1: and it helps us slow this shit down. So we

450
00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:48,640
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451
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452
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453
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454
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Speaker 1: of this show. As a matter of fact, I'm gonna go,

455
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Speaker 1: put my feet up and crack open a crazy cold

456
00:27:02,520 --> 00:27:05,879
Speaker 1: blue Mountain Ready to go, Cores Light. Cores Light is

457
00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:08,959
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458
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Speaker 1: beer that is made to chill, we want you to

459
00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:14,119
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460
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461
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462
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463
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464
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465
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466
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467
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468
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Speaker 1: and then they added their special hex Tech performance technology.

469
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470
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471
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472
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473
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474
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475
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Speaker 1: let me tell you something, I feel all of that

476
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477
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478
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479
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480
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481
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482
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483
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Speaker 1: using these socks forever. It's always in stockings every time

484
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485
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486
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487
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488
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:13,680
Speaker 1: dot com slash Sibling. I want to get back the marriage.

489
00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:16,480
Speaker 1: I want to get back to the bed situation for

490
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:21,080
Speaker 1: a second, because sometimes the bed looks beautiful and you

491
00:29:21,160 --> 00:29:25,680
Speaker 1: make it ooh, and it's not a freshie, you know

492
00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:27,640
Speaker 1: what I mean? Does everybody know what a fresh she is?

493
00:29:27,640 --> 00:29:30,440
Speaker 1: A fresh eet? Well, it's like a brand new clean bed.

494
00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:33,760
Speaker 1: Words like brand new sheets put on before. It's like god,

495
00:29:34,160 --> 00:29:38,600
Speaker 1: it's called a fresh eet. But it looks It can

496
00:29:38,640 --> 00:29:40,520
Speaker 1: be deceiving because it looks like a fresh sheet, and

497
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:43,120
Speaker 1: then you get in it and the kids have been

498
00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:47,840
Speaker 1: in it eating fucking crackers and cookies and kids because

499
00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:55,440
Speaker 1: there's no crumbs on my side of the bed. Literally,

500
00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:58,920
Speaker 1: Wilder came in yesterday and he was like, what are you?

501
00:29:59,200 --> 00:30:01,480
Speaker 1: He went to like caut with me, like in bed

502
00:30:01,480 --> 00:30:03,640
Speaker 1: and he's like oh and he like jumps up and

503
00:30:03,680 --> 00:30:05,520
Speaker 1: I was like what and he's like, there's like crumbs

504
00:30:05,840 --> 00:30:14,560
Speaker 1: all over dead side. And I was like, yep, that's right, Okay, okay, yeah,

505
00:30:14,600 --> 00:30:15,800
Speaker 1: I know what you mean. I know what you mean.

506
00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:18,800
Speaker 1: There's crumbs. Yep. So you're saying I put the crumbs

507
00:30:18,800 --> 00:30:22,000
Speaker 1: there for the most far. I mean, I definitely don't

508
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:30,000
Speaker 1: eat chips in bed. Maybe some chocolate snacks or something, right,

509
00:30:30,480 --> 00:30:33,440
Speaker 1: I'm just a snacker lady. There are a late night

510
00:30:34,720 --> 00:30:40,200
Speaker 1: snacky yep. I know. So maybe maybe I do put

511
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:41,880
Speaker 1: the crumbs in the bed, but I get in the

512
00:30:41,920 --> 00:30:46,960
Speaker 1: bed and it's just like sleeping in crumbs. It's not good.

513
00:30:46,400 --> 00:30:49,040
Speaker 1: There is no sleeping in crumbs. You have to get

514
00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:55,160
Speaker 1: up and at least like swipe them out. Swiper, no swiping. Yeah,

515
00:30:55,200 --> 00:30:57,760
Speaker 1: it's not good. You got to tighten the sheet because

516
00:30:57,840 --> 00:30:59,880
Speaker 1: usually the sheet, you know, is coming off the corners

517
00:30:59,880 --> 00:31:03,040
Speaker 1: a little bit tight. And she kind of fluffed the pillows.

518
00:31:04,480 --> 00:31:06,880
Speaker 1: Get your pillows situated. You always steal mine when you're

519
00:31:06,880 --> 00:31:08,960
Speaker 1: watching TV and then I have to yank them out

520
00:31:08,960 --> 00:31:12,240
Speaker 1: from underneath you for bed. That's another pet peeve. I

521
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:14,520
Speaker 1: can't stand that, I know, but you got to realize,

522
00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:17,480
Speaker 1: like if you're on my sleeping with my you know,

523
00:31:17,520 --> 00:31:19,840
Speaker 1: watching TV with my pillows. And Sharen is like a

524
00:31:19,880 --> 00:31:23,800
Speaker 1: pillow insane person. Like she knows if she put a

525
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:27,360
Speaker 1: blindfold on and you put twenty five pillows in front

526
00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:30,040
Speaker 1: of her and she could pick out the six that

527
00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:33,400
Speaker 1: she uses without looking. She could just pick them, feel them,

528
00:31:33,440 --> 00:31:36,760
Speaker 1: smell them, and pick the six. I'm like smelling them.

529
00:31:36,760 --> 00:31:39,560
Speaker 1: But I do know my pillows. And so sometimes I'll

530
00:31:39,600 --> 00:31:42,120
Speaker 1: have pillows on my side and I'm sort of, you know,

531
00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:45,280
Speaker 1: into a show and I'm just sort of I'm so cozy,

532
00:31:45,320 --> 00:31:47,640
Speaker 1: and all of a sudden, like they just get yanked

533
00:31:47,640 --> 00:31:50,080
Speaker 1: out from under my neck, like and all of a sudden,

534
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:57,400
Speaker 1: I'm lying flat on my back. Sorry, sorry, Jesus Christ.

535
00:31:59,640 --> 00:32:02,280
Speaker 1: I know. I honestly, we got to figure out the

536
00:32:02,280 --> 00:32:08,200
Speaker 1: pillow situation. I gotta like, yeah, my pillows suck lately. Well,

537
00:32:08,240 --> 00:32:10,760
Speaker 1: I also like a little firmer like big pillow, you

538
00:32:10,840 --> 00:32:17,600
Speaker 1: like like floppy like down. So it's like yeah, yeah,

539
00:32:17,600 --> 00:32:21,479
Speaker 1: I don't gotta figure it out. I know, I know.

540
00:32:21,760 --> 00:32:29,200
Speaker 1: We got lots to figure out now, I know we do. No,

541
00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:34,520
Speaker 1: we don't. Well we started with pet peeves. You only

542
00:32:34,520 --> 00:32:38,240
Speaker 1: got into one, which is my ordering. Yeah. I have

543
00:32:38,280 --> 00:32:42,200
Speaker 1: a couple more. Oh, but the ordering thing I do

544
00:32:42,440 --> 00:32:44,360
Speaker 1: sometimes try and work on. But then I get really

545
00:32:44,400 --> 00:32:47,720
Speaker 1: nervous because I know that you're like annoyed, and I'm like,

546
00:32:47,800 --> 00:32:51,840
Speaker 1: I don't know, I know, but guess guess what my

547
00:32:51,960 --> 00:32:57,960
Speaker 1: number one is? Wait? No, no, So with the late thing,

548
00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:06,600
Speaker 1: I'm late ish too. With Aaron, it's like she knows

549
00:33:06,720 --> 00:33:10,400
Speaker 1: she's late. She accepts that she's late. You accept that

550
00:33:10,480 --> 00:33:14,280
Speaker 1: you're just a late person, and you're almost okay with

551
00:33:14,320 --> 00:33:17,040
Speaker 1: it because it is because usually rushing around and stressed out.

552
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:20,120
Speaker 1: I don't like it. I'm always like, ah, but I

553
00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:22,880
Speaker 1: like can't find things. It comes down to like organization.

554
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:27,000
Speaker 1: You know, where is everything? And at last minute, and

555
00:33:27,200 --> 00:33:30,400
Speaker 1: the thing is, you just need so many things to

556
00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:33,400
Speaker 1: get out of the house. Yes, I do. That's another problem.

557
00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:35,440
Speaker 1: I have to start earlier. You know what I mean.

558
00:33:36,880 --> 00:33:39,280
Speaker 1: But this is not this is a this is forty

559
00:33:39,360 --> 00:33:42,000
Speaker 1: years in the making. This is not anything new. This

560
00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:45,920
Speaker 1: is you said something really interesting to me when we

561
00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:49,920
Speaker 1: first started dating, actually because I was dealing with, you know,

562
00:33:50,320 --> 00:33:52,320
Speaker 1: in that moment, always sort of dealing with my dad

563
00:33:52,400 --> 00:33:58,920
Speaker 1: and how that relationship has affected my life in my career,

564
00:33:59,160 --> 00:34:02,520
Speaker 1: in my relationship and ships and YadA yah, and that

565
00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:07,520
Speaker 1: early on you said, you said, you know, you you

566
00:34:07,600 --> 00:34:11,920
Speaker 1: recognize the issues, but you know, you don't do You're

567
00:34:11,960 --> 00:34:15,719
Speaker 1: not doing anything about it. You're not being proactive basically, like, yeah,

568
00:34:15,760 --> 00:34:18,319
Speaker 1: you get that your dad did this, and you're you

569
00:34:18,360 --> 00:34:20,719
Speaker 1: know this is a symptom of your dad not being

570
00:34:20,800 --> 00:34:23,879
Speaker 1: there and all that, but you just it's it's good

571
00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:26,080
Speaker 1: enough for you just to understand it and know it,

572
00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:28,120
Speaker 1: but not actually do the work and figure it out.

573
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:31,480
Speaker 1: And I was like, oh shit, that's true, you know,

574
00:34:31,480 --> 00:34:34,080
Speaker 1: which is a whole other topic, but that's similar with

575
00:34:34,200 --> 00:34:36,640
Speaker 1: you and You're late. It's like, yeah, this, I know,

576
00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:39,320
Speaker 1: this is who I am, but it's just not fuck it,

577
00:34:39,480 --> 00:34:42,400
Speaker 1: that's who I am. I mean, look, there's a little

578
00:34:42,440 --> 00:34:44,839
Speaker 1: part of like at this point, I'm like, these are

579
00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:48,439
Speaker 1: things you know about myself, and I try and work

580
00:34:48,440 --> 00:34:51,360
Speaker 1: on them sometimes and then other times I'm like, you

581
00:34:51,440 --> 00:34:55,319
Speaker 1: gotta take the good with the bad. The other one

582
00:34:55,360 --> 00:34:57,959
Speaker 1: is burping. Yeah, yeah, Oh that's my big I haven't

583
00:34:58,000 --> 00:35:02,440
Speaker 1: been doing it a lot lately. You do? You do? Not? Really?

584
00:35:04,560 --> 00:35:06,640
Speaker 1: When was the last time? Oh? Baby, do it all

585
00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:11,160
Speaker 1: the time. This is an unconscious thing. It's and by

586
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:14,360
Speaker 1: the way, to preface it, it's not even about burping,

587
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:16,440
Speaker 1: like meaning like if you if you burp, you burp,

588
00:35:16,640 --> 00:35:22,320
Speaker 1: it's normal. I don't dislike burping, but you make yourself burp,

589
00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:23,839
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? And I can see when

590
00:35:23,880 --> 00:35:27,520
Speaker 1: you do that. I haven't done it lately. Man. I

591
00:35:27,560 --> 00:35:29,239
Speaker 1: love you. I don't want you to get mad at me.

592
00:35:29,400 --> 00:35:34,279
Speaker 1: Are we getting divorced? No? No, no, no, okay no no,

593
00:35:34,440 --> 00:35:36,920
Speaker 1: I mean you have so much credit in this relationship.

594
00:35:37,640 --> 00:35:44,920
Speaker 1: It's crazy. You've got a lot of credit. I did

595
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:50,200
Speaker 1: have been saving up, saving up. Are you attracted to

596
00:35:50,239 --> 00:35:58,880
Speaker 1: other guys? Yeah? Where did that come from? I don't know.

597
00:35:59,000 --> 00:36:01,440
Speaker 1: I just had like a image of you in like

598
00:36:01,480 --> 00:36:05,960
Speaker 1: a bar or something just like pomped into your head. Yeah,

599
00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:10,160
Speaker 1: my god, what was I wearing a Do you and

600
00:36:10,200 --> 00:36:18,160
Speaker 1: your girls like talk about dudes not like guys? Do?

601
00:36:18,160 --> 00:36:19,520
Speaker 1: Do you know what I mean? Like you have a

602
00:36:19,560 --> 00:36:23,920
Speaker 1: girl's night tonight? Oh no, you did it last night? Sorry? Yeah, Like,

603
00:36:23,920 --> 00:36:29,040
Speaker 1: do you talk about guys like besides our husbands. Yeah,

604
00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:32,560
Speaker 1: not really, like unless there's like some like show or

605
00:36:32,640 --> 00:36:35,640
Speaker 1: you know, it's like Brad pants on this or you

606
00:36:35,680 --> 00:36:37,399
Speaker 1: know something, and it might come out. But like we're

607
00:36:37,400 --> 00:36:42,040
Speaker 1: not sitting around like talking about guys like you know,

608
00:36:42,239 --> 00:36:45,520
Speaker 1: men do. There's like ten other things that we're talking

609
00:36:45,520 --> 00:36:51,400
Speaker 1: about before that. But you know what I mean, Like yeah,

610
00:36:51,400 --> 00:36:54,040
Speaker 1: but of course, like of course I find other guys

611
00:36:54,080 --> 00:37:02,960
Speaker 1: like attractive. What that would be sad and scary if

612
00:37:02,960 --> 00:37:09,560
Speaker 1: I didn't, oh for sure. Yeah, yeah, I mean always,

613
00:37:09,680 --> 00:37:13,200
Speaker 1: Like first of all, I think you know, there's a

614
00:37:13,280 --> 00:37:16,200
Speaker 1: reality to just because you're in love with someone or

615
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:19,319
Speaker 1: attracted to your person doesn't mean that you can't be

616
00:37:19,440 --> 00:37:24,960
Speaker 1: attracted to other people and also like want to you know,

617
00:37:26,320 --> 00:37:31,520
Speaker 1: be like seen as you know, attractive to other people

618
00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:33,000
Speaker 1: as well. Do you know what I mean? Like that

619
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:35,520
Speaker 1: doesn't really go away, not that I like I'm saying,

620
00:37:35,680 --> 00:37:39,560
Speaker 1: you know you care less about that, but just in life. Yeah,

621
00:37:39,600 --> 00:37:42,160
Speaker 1: of course, I mean I always have said this. I

622
00:37:42,160 --> 00:37:44,080
Speaker 1: don't know if I said it in the first podcast too,

623
00:37:44,080 --> 00:37:46,960
Speaker 1: but like it's hard to be monogamous. It's not in

624
00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:51,000
Speaker 1: the natural state, you know what I mean of humans

625
00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:55,319
Speaker 1: and it's like literally I think swans and like you

626
00:37:55,360 --> 00:38:02,720
Speaker 1: know one other yea story that's so sad. Oh my god,

627
00:38:03,040 --> 00:38:05,560
Speaker 1: that's the worst. Like I could still cry about it.

628
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:10,720
Speaker 1: We were in Colorado and this goose you know, they

629
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:14,840
Speaker 1: pair up and this goose in the pond. Yeah, no,

630
00:38:14,880 --> 00:38:17,080
Speaker 1: they pair up and they're they're they're made for life,

631
00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:19,719
Speaker 1: made for life. Yeah, exactly. I think geese do, right,

632
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:23,560
Speaker 1: geese and swan Well, yeah, no, I think they do.

633
00:38:23,640 --> 00:38:27,400
Speaker 1: I think geese do. If not, they hang out and

634
00:38:27,760 --> 00:38:31,160
Speaker 1: have babies and then leave, I don't know. But like anyway,

635
00:38:31,520 --> 00:38:35,400
Speaker 1: there were two geese and one of them died in

636
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:37,399
Speaker 1: the pond and we were they were there every day,

637
00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:39,440
Speaker 1: so we see them. They were like this little couple.

638
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:40,880
Speaker 1: We thought that they were a couple. What did we

639
00:38:40,960 --> 00:38:44,000
Speaker 1: name them, Was it like, oh, yeah and Angelina or

640
00:38:44,040 --> 00:38:48,040
Speaker 1: something like Brad and Angelina. No, but it was something

641
00:38:48,120 --> 00:38:51,960
Speaker 1: like that. It was like a right, there was a

642
00:38:51,960 --> 00:38:54,640
Speaker 1: reason for it. And one of them like was just

643
00:38:54,800 --> 00:38:59,400
Speaker 1: floating and dead and it and the other one was

644
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:05,440
Speaker 1: just you know, honking and devastated. Stayed there for like

645
00:39:05,520 --> 00:39:08,080
Speaker 1: two weeks. Oh my god. We'd go by every day

646
00:39:08,080 --> 00:39:10,520
Speaker 1: and then checking and he or she I don't know

647
00:39:10,560 --> 00:39:12,600
Speaker 1: which one it was was would just stay there and

648
00:39:12,680 --> 00:39:17,920
Speaker 1: like I'm like, it was like heartbreaking, and finally, well

649
00:39:17,960 --> 00:39:21,320
Speaker 1: then found it found another dude. Well let's just say

650
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:24,439
Speaker 1: it was the guy and the wife you know, died.

651
00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:27,839
Speaker 1: He was like a widower and so literally was there

652
00:39:27,840 --> 00:39:30,279
Speaker 1: every day like honking and just sitting there and like

653
00:39:30,719 --> 00:39:33,240
Speaker 1: near the other, you know, dead one, or like waiting

654
00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:35,960
Speaker 1: for it to come back. Whatever it was morning. It

655
00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:39,759
Speaker 1: was horrible, and then we went away. And when we

656
00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:42,160
Speaker 1: came back, we're like, oh my god, I wonder if

657
00:39:42,200 --> 00:39:46,879
Speaker 1: he's still there. And there was another goose, so we

658
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:50,680
Speaker 1: were like maybe that was a widow and her partner

659
00:39:51,120 --> 00:39:54,440
Speaker 1: goose died too, and then they found each other the

660
00:39:54,520 --> 00:39:58,920
Speaker 1: story that the children's book. Yes, and then they like

661
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:01,239
Speaker 1: flew off and lived. Hap they ever accurately they found

662
00:40:01,280 --> 00:40:04,880
Speaker 1: each other. I know. I know. So when you're dealing

663
00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:07,160
Speaker 1: with or this, if you have this idea of this

664
00:40:07,280 --> 00:40:11,399
Speaker 1: concept that you know, sort of we're not naturally monogamous,

665
00:40:11,440 --> 00:40:14,920
Speaker 1: which primarily I guess you're right because there was just

666
00:40:14,920 --> 00:40:18,760
Speaker 1: about procreation. I mean, I think there is some hardwiring there,

667
00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:21,759
Speaker 1: you know what I mean? Oh yeah, it's hard. It's

668
00:40:21,760 --> 00:40:25,400
Speaker 1: been it's been sort of this societal not pressure, but

669
00:40:25,560 --> 00:40:27,759
Speaker 1: just it's the right thing to sort of be with

670
00:40:27,840 --> 00:40:32,480
Speaker 1: one person at least in this culture. But how do

671
00:40:32,520 --> 00:40:37,840
Speaker 1: you factor that in to what just to your everyday relationship,

672
00:40:38,000 --> 00:40:41,200
Speaker 1: you know, or how would one factor that in? Meaning

673
00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:44,719
Speaker 1: it's just every understanding of that if in fact you

674
00:40:44,719 --> 00:40:50,360
Speaker 1: do believe that. Yeah, I mean I think I won't

675
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:52,480
Speaker 1: even say like male female, but I would just say

676
00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:55,360
Speaker 1: person to person. It's different, you know, like I find

677
00:40:55,680 --> 00:41:00,680
Speaker 1: comfort in one person in my part, you know what

678
00:41:00,719 --> 00:41:06,080
Speaker 1: I mean. And some people don't, like ray have something else,

679
00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:08,960
Speaker 1: or they get bored or they're you know whatever. But

680
00:41:10,840 --> 00:41:20,520
Speaker 1: mm hmm, that's it. It's all you got. Well, no,

681
00:41:20,600 --> 00:41:23,480
Speaker 1: I'm just trying to like articulate it and have it

682
00:41:23,520 --> 00:41:28,880
Speaker 1: make sense. But I think when you commit to somebody

683
00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:33,160
Speaker 1: and want to be in a monogamous relationship like it's

684
00:41:33,440 --> 00:41:36,440
Speaker 1: it shouldn't be like hard work. I don't like that

685
00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:39,160
Speaker 1: at all. You should want to be there, of course,

686
00:41:39,239 --> 00:41:41,200
Speaker 1: but it just doesn't mean that you're not going to

687
00:41:41,239 --> 00:41:44,040
Speaker 1: be attracted to somebody else or want to you know.

688
00:41:45,280 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 1: But generally speaking, if you I think if you kind

689
00:41:49,200 --> 00:41:51,920
Speaker 1: of find you know, the one or your partner, You're

690
00:41:53,160 --> 00:41:56,680
Speaker 1: you don't want to do that. Well, of course not.

691
00:41:56,880 --> 00:41:59,920
Speaker 1: But I'm saying that hardwiring or that that idea that

692
00:42:00,080 --> 00:42:02,840
Speaker 1: we're not monogamous. I mean, you take that into account

693
00:42:02,880 --> 00:42:09,120
Speaker 1: when dealing, you know, when giving each other sort of

694
00:42:09,239 --> 00:42:14,000
Speaker 1: room to be attracted to other people and not being

695
00:42:14,040 --> 00:42:17,040
Speaker 1: so judgmental, you know, being like oh well yeah, of

696
00:42:17,120 --> 00:42:20,000
Speaker 1: course as long as you're with me, right. Well, that

697
00:42:20,120 --> 00:42:22,400
Speaker 1: was always like my feeling. I was like, go flirt,

698
00:42:22,480 --> 00:42:26,040
Speaker 1: have fun, like you're coming home to me. Do you

699
00:42:26,120 --> 00:42:28,279
Speaker 1: know what I mean? Like I was never threatened or

700
00:42:28,960 --> 00:42:33,560
Speaker 1: you know, I'm I'm I think I'm naturally jealous, you know,

701
00:42:33,760 --> 00:42:36,520
Speaker 1: in the beginning of all my relationships, all three and

702
00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:39,640
Speaker 1: even hours, Like I get hot jealous and then and

703
00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:43,520
Speaker 1: then it subsides. But yeah, I need to know everything.

704
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:46,000
Speaker 1: Well I think you're still jealous, you know, way more

705
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:48,040
Speaker 1: than me. Oh yeah, yeah for sure. But I'm saying

706
00:42:48,040 --> 00:42:50,520
Speaker 1: I needed to know everything, Remember, I mean, you know,

707
00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:55,520
Speaker 1: I want to know every dude, every detail. I'm just

708
00:42:55,520 --> 00:42:59,680
Speaker 1: saying I need to know every friends. First, we did

709
00:42:59,719 --> 00:43:02,319
Speaker 1: a lot of talking. It's not like most people get

710
00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:05,320
Speaker 1: into a relationship and don't do that. It's more like

711
00:43:05,360 --> 00:43:08,240
Speaker 1: what happened before us has happened before us, and now

712
00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:11,360
Speaker 1: moving forward, you were not You were very much like

713
00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:15,160
Speaker 1: you know, needed to know, which I get. I like,

714
00:43:15,760 --> 00:43:18,120
Speaker 1: I have no problem, but you still bring up things

715
00:43:18,120 --> 00:43:21,720
Speaker 1: twenty years later that happened like a few years before

716
00:43:21,719 --> 00:43:23,960
Speaker 1: we were even dating, and it gets you hot and

717
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:27,640
Speaker 1: fired and you're mad. I just I'm in general, I'm jealous.

718
00:43:27,719 --> 00:43:33,799
Speaker 1: Like some dudes like when their girlfriend's wives whatever it is,

719
00:43:36,000 --> 00:43:42,239
Speaker 1: when they're attractive people and other men are looking at them,

720
00:43:42,440 --> 00:43:44,760
Speaker 1: you know, and they're on display, and guys feel proud

721
00:43:44,880 --> 00:43:46,719
Speaker 1: and like, yeah, I don't like I want her to

722
00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:49,560
Speaker 1: look hot and sexy and da da da. I kind

723
00:43:49,560 --> 00:43:53,160
Speaker 1: of I'm the opposite. I don't you know, when you're

724
00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:55,040
Speaker 1: in this mode of wearing all these sort of sun

725
00:43:55,120 --> 00:43:59,120
Speaker 1: dresses now with no bras, like and I love it,

726
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:02,880
Speaker 1: but what about like dudes looking I don't know, like

727
00:44:03,000 --> 00:44:06,759
Speaker 1: bothers you, I don't know, it's so fun. I don't

728
00:44:06,800 --> 00:44:09,120
Speaker 1: like it. It's weird. I mean, twenty years in it's like,

729
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:13,480
Speaker 1: you know, it's like when you used to wear the ponytail,

730
00:44:14,200 --> 00:44:17,799
Speaker 1: the fake ponytail. When we started first started dating, you

731
00:44:17,920 --> 00:44:21,160
Speaker 1: wear this fake ponytail, thing, you know that was like

732
00:44:21,200 --> 00:44:24,040
Speaker 1: sort of long, and it was like an extensions, but

733
00:44:24,080 --> 00:44:25,960
Speaker 1: like I would just slick my hair my shorter hair,

734
00:44:26,000 --> 00:44:27,480
Speaker 1: put it in and then but it looked like this

735
00:44:27,640 --> 00:44:32,160
Speaker 1: long ponytail and it was like hot. I loved it

736
00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:35,200
Speaker 1: because it looked hot. And I was like, oh Jesus,

737
00:44:35,280 --> 00:44:37,719
Speaker 1: when she's going out to fucking clubs and bars and

738
00:44:37,760 --> 00:44:41,279
Speaker 1: I'm not there, I mean, remember it's looking at her

739
00:44:41,920 --> 00:44:44,319
Speaker 1: and I hung up on you one night, remember, oh

740
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:46,600
Speaker 1: my god. Of course I was literally with Karen and

741
00:44:46,640 --> 00:44:49,880
Speaker 1: like Cescy like going into some like party in like Hollywood,

742
00:44:49,880 --> 00:44:52,280
Speaker 1: and you were like, you know, what are you wearing

743
00:44:52,400 --> 00:44:54,200
Speaker 1: or something? And then you're like is your hair curly

744
00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:57,480
Speaker 1: or straight? Because they have like curlyish hair, but sometimes

745
00:44:57,520 --> 00:44:59,080
Speaker 1: I would straighten it and you were like asking, and

746
00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:02,799
Speaker 1: I was like, either I haven't like my extension ponytail,

747
00:45:03,480 --> 00:45:06,560
Speaker 1: and you were like click, literally hung up hung up

748
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:08,279
Speaker 1: on me. As we're like walking into the club, I

749
00:45:08,320 --> 00:45:13,560
Speaker 1: was like, hello, hello, let's go girl. I'm like, oh

750
00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:19,000
Speaker 1: my god, I did that. I like that thing so funny.

751
00:45:19,360 --> 00:45:22,120
Speaker 1: I might have to bring that thing back. I know,

752
00:45:27,920 --> 00:45:30,960
Speaker 1: each and every so we stink. You know, that's just

753
00:45:31,000 --> 00:45:33,920
Speaker 1: part of human nature. We sweat, we stink. That's how

754
00:45:33,960 --> 00:45:37,360
Speaker 1: it works. There's no avoiding it. We have body odor

755
00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:41,239
Speaker 1: and our armpits can stink. That's just the way it is,

756
00:45:41,600 --> 00:45:46,040
Speaker 1: all right. They've had multiple attempts at natural deodorant, but

757
00:45:46,160 --> 00:45:50,080
Speaker 1: until now, until each and every came into my life,

758
00:45:50,120 --> 00:45:54,239
Speaker 1: I have never found one that worked. But times have

759
00:45:54,400 --> 00:45:58,799
Speaker 1: changed everybody, Each and every it really really works. I

760
00:45:58,840 --> 00:46:03,239
Speaker 1: smell great throughout the whole day. Amazing. I wear it

761
00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:05,560
Speaker 1: every day. I have on my sandal wood scent today.

762
00:46:05,560 --> 00:46:09,360
Speaker 1: There's ten amazing Core Sense plus seasonal Limited Edition Sense.

763
00:46:10,000 --> 00:46:14,480
Speaker 1: You've got six simple safe ingredients. There's no parabins, no

764
00:46:14,640 --> 00:46:17,839
Speaker 1: artificial fragrances. I love this. It's been found to fight

765
00:46:17,960 --> 00:46:20,640
Speaker 1: odor as well as sweat. It seems to actually do

766
00:46:20,719 --> 00:46:23,560
Speaker 1: really well with that, which is very hard because a

767
00:46:23,600 --> 00:46:25,640
Speaker 1: lot of natural deoder ands have a hard time helping

768
00:46:25,640 --> 00:46:28,520
Speaker 1: you with that. It's vegan, cruelty free, comes in a

769
00:46:28,560 --> 00:46:32,120
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770
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773
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774
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775
00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:56,120
Speaker 1: dot com slash sibling. I think jealousy is a tough

776
00:46:56,120 --> 00:47:00,399
Speaker 1: thing in a relationship though oh yeah, you know you're Liz,

777
00:47:00,520 --> 00:47:03,360
Speaker 1: but not like, oh no, it's extreme. For me. It

778
00:47:03,400 --> 00:47:06,560
Speaker 1: happens early on, it's a little more extreme, and then

779
00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:09,040
Speaker 1: obviously it's been twenty years. I mean you kind of

780
00:47:09,040 --> 00:47:14,000
Speaker 1: get jealous sometimes. Of like my girlfriends, I can tell

781
00:47:14,000 --> 00:47:18,680
Speaker 1: a little bit, a little bit like because you know, okay,

782
00:47:18,760 --> 00:47:21,239
Speaker 1: I'll elaborate, and this is something that I've said, like

783
00:47:22,320 --> 00:47:26,120
Speaker 1: in our relationship. You asked me like one time, like

784
00:47:26,200 --> 00:47:29,720
Speaker 1: Chris Martin with what's my passion? That I said sleep?

785
00:47:29,920 --> 00:47:32,719
Speaker 1: Did you tell that story? I think this podcast we

786
00:47:32,800 --> 00:47:36,880
Speaker 1: told it. But I also, like my girlfriends, that's like

787
00:47:36,920 --> 00:47:39,759
Speaker 1: a thing for me. It's it's you know, yeah, it's

788
00:47:39,800 --> 00:47:42,920
Speaker 1: a huge part of my life. Fishing. It's like you're fishing.

789
00:47:43,000 --> 00:47:46,239
Speaker 1: It's like a passion or it's like a hobby that

790
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:49,920
Speaker 1: you have. My spare time away from you or my

791
00:47:50,000 --> 00:47:53,560
Speaker 1: family is my girlfriends. I love it, like and so

792
00:47:54,560 --> 00:47:57,400
Speaker 1: you know, just girl time whatever. But I think sometimes

793
00:47:57,400 --> 00:48:00,239
Speaker 1: that you get a little like jealous like when I

794
00:48:00,239 --> 00:48:05,480
Speaker 1: want to do that or with am I wrong? It's

795
00:48:05,480 --> 00:48:07,400
Speaker 1: not jealousy, I know what you mean. I just like

796
00:48:07,520 --> 00:48:10,759
Speaker 1: being with you. I'm sorry, Oh I know. Yeah, I

797
00:48:10,760 --> 00:48:13,359
Speaker 1: mean no, I've gotten better with that. I've gotten better

798
00:48:13,360 --> 00:48:15,360
Speaker 1: with that. You know. That's something that we talked about

799
00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:19,440
Speaker 1: even before I went to Hoffman, which we haven't even

800
00:48:19,520 --> 00:48:23,440
Speaker 1: talked about Hoffman on this show. Your experience with that,

801
00:48:23,600 --> 00:48:26,560
Speaker 1: my experience with that crazy. That'll be the next one.

802
00:48:27,120 --> 00:48:34,880
Speaker 1: Stay tuned. Hoffman Recap special episode going to Hoffman. And

803
00:48:35,000 --> 00:48:37,759
Speaker 1: also like the love languages, I want to do those more.

804
00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:41,440
Speaker 1: We can incorporate those two. But you know, that was

805
00:48:41,440 --> 00:48:43,279
Speaker 1: something that I had to come to terms with. You

806
00:48:43,360 --> 00:48:47,160
Speaker 1: would go away or have weekends with your girlfriends, and I,

807
00:48:47,200 --> 00:48:51,120
Speaker 1: you know, would get upset by it. You know, not upset,

808
00:48:51,160 --> 00:48:53,880
Speaker 1: but you know I get moody and yeah, like a

809
00:48:53,880 --> 00:49:04,560
Speaker 1: little bitch. Yeah essentially, yes, for real. You know, I

810
00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:06,640
Speaker 1: don't know what that is. I mean, there's something deeply,

811
00:49:06,800 --> 00:49:09,560
Speaker 1: there's something deeper from a psychological part. You know. It's

812
00:49:09,600 --> 00:49:11,239
Speaker 1: just like I'm going to have a good time and

813
00:49:11,280 --> 00:49:14,799
Speaker 1: you're not there. No, I guess, or you're giving your time,

814
00:49:14,880 --> 00:49:18,879
Speaker 1: giving your time and happiness to somebody else, even though

815
00:49:18,920 --> 00:49:24,160
Speaker 1: that's in irrational thought, right, but still that's probably what

816
00:49:24,200 --> 00:49:26,040
Speaker 1: it was. And if we're going to trace that back,

817
00:49:26,719 --> 00:49:31,320
Speaker 1: you know my mom, you know my mom, and obviously

818
00:49:31,480 --> 00:49:34,879
Speaker 1: was a movie star, and she was traveling around and

819
00:49:34,920 --> 00:49:36,640
Speaker 1: you know, not only that, but then fans would come

820
00:49:36,719 --> 00:49:39,520
Speaker 1: up to her and and want a piece of her,

821
00:49:39,719 --> 00:49:43,600
Speaker 1: you know. And I remember as a kid hating that.

822
00:49:43,760 --> 00:49:47,120
Speaker 1: I mean, I could not stand when people came up

823
00:49:47,120 --> 00:49:50,040
Speaker 1: to her. I still remember the feeling because I still

824
00:49:50,040 --> 00:49:52,720
Speaker 1: have it today because it's like almost this residual trigger.

825
00:49:53,760 --> 00:49:56,000
Speaker 1: But it would drive me crazy. I'm like, at least

826
00:49:56,040 --> 00:49:59,799
Speaker 1: I internally like just leave her the fuck alone. I mean,

827
00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:02,400
Speaker 1: was really a little bit of like she's mine and

828
00:50:02,440 --> 00:50:04,920
Speaker 1: I well, I think so. I think it's like people

829
00:50:04,920 --> 00:50:07,520
Speaker 1: were taking her attention away from me when I needed

830
00:50:07,520 --> 00:50:12,080
Speaker 1: it most. You know, this is twenty years of therapy

831
00:50:12,239 --> 00:50:15,400
Speaker 1: coming out, so but yeah, that's what it is. So

832
00:50:15,440 --> 00:50:19,279
Speaker 1: I would attribute my feelings towards you going out with

833
00:50:19,320 --> 00:50:22,520
Speaker 1: your friends. Maybe there's a similar connection there, but it's

834
00:50:22,560 --> 00:50:26,239
Speaker 1: something that I had to sort of deal with and

835
00:50:26,320 --> 00:50:30,400
Speaker 1: get through. And now now I'm better, you know, for sure,

836
00:50:30,680 --> 00:50:33,920
Speaker 1: oh yeah, definitely. No, it was a thing. And the

837
00:50:34,320 --> 00:50:36,799
Speaker 1: most of the time, like girls have a problem or

838
00:50:36,920 --> 00:50:40,240
Speaker 1: you know, now we're getting into all the like girls

839
00:50:40,239 --> 00:50:42,279
Speaker 1: and men and women. This is a general statement, but

840
00:50:42,400 --> 00:50:45,160
Speaker 1: like you know, it's like guys nights and like going

841
00:50:45,360 --> 00:50:47,799
Speaker 1: you know, to be with the guys and all that.

842
00:50:48,440 --> 00:50:50,960
Speaker 1: And you know, it's funny because like I love when

843
00:50:50,960 --> 00:50:53,440
Speaker 1: you go out with your friends, like I'm like, go

844
00:50:53,560 --> 00:50:56,200
Speaker 1: have fun. Oh my god, this is great. And then

845
00:50:56,520 --> 00:50:58,480
Speaker 1: but you have more of the problem, like when I'm

846
00:50:58,520 --> 00:51:02,640
Speaker 1: out with my friends. It's not a problem, not a problem.

847
00:51:02,800 --> 00:51:05,560
Speaker 1: It's not a problem. But you know, now it's it's

848
00:51:05,640 --> 00:51:09,319
Speaker 1: it's it's better now, you know. Yeah, but yeah, it was.

849
00:51:09,719 --> 00:51:12,759
Speaker 1: It was a thing. It was just sort of like yeah, oh,

850
00:51:12,800 --> 00:51:16,840
Speaker 1: you're going to go to OHI for two nights, okay,

851
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:21,040
Speaker 1: but meanwhile you go on fishing trips for ten days.

852
00:51:21,680 --> 00:51:25,040
Speaker 1: I'm there. I have no argument. I mean there's no

853
00:51:26,239 --> 00:51:29,120
Speaker 1: I've got no legs to stand on and tell me

854
00:51:29,640 --> 00:51:35,719
Speaker 1: moms in the out there. When I leave, I set

855
00:51:36,040 --> 00:51:38,560
Speaker 1: everything up for the weekend or whatever it might be

856
00:51:38,640 --> 00:51:43,480
Speaker 1: for you, literally from plate eates to food to everything

857
00:51:43,680 --> 00:51:47,080
Speaker 1: set and ready. I'd love to full and appreciate it,

858
00:51:47,160 --> 00:51:50,719
Speaker 1: but honestly, can I be straight up yeah, it's overkill,

859
00:51:51,360 --> 00:51:54,280
Speaker 1: Like it's almost like you don't think I can handle

860
00:51:54,320 --> 00:51:56,920
Speaker 1: this when I just I actually think you can. I'm

861
00:51:56,960 --> 00:51:59,520
Speaker 1: trying to make it a little easier. You look them alone,

862
00:51:59,680 --> 00:52:01,319
Speaker 1: not say I wouldn't need you and want you all

863
00:52:01,320 --> 00:52:03,719
Speaker 1: my life, but like I can do that shit, like

864
00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:06,120
Speaker 1: I'm not a dad. You can. But I like to

865
00:52:06,280 --> 00:52:08,520
Speaker 1: just be like I'm not leaving you in the dust.

866
00:52:08,560 --> 00:52:13,240
Speaker 1: Like that's why it's I'd never say anything really because

867
00:52:13,280 --> 00:52:16,520
Speaker 1: it's like sweet and I know that it's good meaning

868
00:52:16,680 --> 00:52:19,839
Speaker 1: you know, but it's it's like, yeah, I know, I know,

869
00:52:19,880 --> 00:52:21,640
Speaker 1: I know, I got it, I got it. How much

870
00:52:21,680 --> 00:52:24,600
Speaker 1: how many times have I said that, Like I know,

871
00:52:24,640 --> 00:52:26,359
Speaker 1: I got it, I got it. I love you, I

872
00:52:26,360 --> 00:52:29,640
Speaker 1: got it. I know. But I like to like make

873
00:52:29,680 --> 00:52:33,279
Speaker 1: sure everything's like it's also leaving and being like a

874
00:52:33,360 --> 00:52:37,200
Speaker 1: kind of controlling ish, micromanagy person. It's hard to do

875
00:52:37,280 --> 00:52:41,120
Speaker 1: sometimes because I'm like, ah, I also, you know, there

876
00:52:41,160 --> 00:52:43,719
Speaker 1: was a period where you know, I don't know if

877
00:52:43,840 --> 00:52:46,960
Speaker 1: we were like just passing ships or just at a

878
00:52:47,040 --> 00:52:50,080
Speaker 1: lowish point in our relationship or you know, you get

879
00:52:50,080 --> 00:52:52,799
Speaker 1: to see things in your partner that most people don't see,

880
00:52:52,920 --> 00:52:54,960
Speaker 1: meaning the ups and the downs and the faces that

881
00:52:55,000 --> 00:52:57,799
Speaker 1: get made and you know, oh, she's in a bad mood.

882
00:52:57,960 --> 00:52:59,840
Speaker 1: She's in a good mood. She's this and this and that.

883
00:53:00,160 --> 00:53:03,239
Speaker 1: She's tired, and I know, and I used to talk

884
00:53:03,280 --> 00:53:05,359
Speaker 1: to you about this. The minute your friends come around her,

885
00:53:05,400 --> 00:53:07,920
Speaker 1: you could be like pissy or whatever. And you get

886
00:53:07,960 --> 00:53:09,799
Speaker 1: a call from Jackie and all of a sudden, like

887
00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:12,239
Speaker 1: what the fuck? And she's and you're on the phone like,

888
00:53:12,280 --> 00:53:16,120
Speaker 1: oh my god. I'm like, oh, she's happy. So I

889
00:53:16,160 --> 00:53:18,680
Speaker 1: can't make her happy, but her friends can make her happy.

890
00:53:18,880 --> 00:53:20,640
Speaker 1: And now she's going to go out with her go

891
00:53:20,680 --> 00:53:23,440
Speaker 1: with her girlfriends for two days and be a and

892
00:53:23,600 --> 00:53:27,360
Speaker 1: happy as a clam. This isn't now, this is my thinking,

893
00:53:27,719 --> 00:53:30,680
Speaker 1: I remember. And then she comes home. This is my

894
00:53:30,760 --> 00:53:34,560
Speaker 1: internal monologue everyone. Then she comes home and now she's

895
00:53:34,600 --> 00:53:37,839
Speaker 1: tired because she you know, drank and did mushrooms. And

896
00:53:37,880 --> 00:53:41,440
Speaker 1: now it's like it's like, oh, now she's depleted, and

897
00:53:41,480 --> 00:53:43,399
Speaker 1: this is all the shit that would go through my mind.

898
00:53:43,400 --> 00:53:46,200
Speaker 1: That is just unfair and irrational. I mean, I'm not like, okay,

899
00:53:46,239 --> 00:53:48,440
Speaker 1: so this is no not anymore, thank god, But I

900
00:53:48,440 --> 00:53:51,000
Speaker 1: think this is a current theme I would say, which

901
00:53:51,040 --> 00:53:53,799
Speaker 1: is you kind of like give your best self to

902
00:53:53,880 --> 00:53:58,400
Speaker 1: somebody else and your you know, energy or your time

903
00:53:58,480 --> 00:54:00,719
Speaker 1: or whatever, and then you come home and you don't

904
00:54:00,760 --> 00:54:03,600
Speaker 1: have it to give anymore, right, right, So, but what

905
00:54:03,640 --> 00:54:07,120
Speaker 1: I will say to that, instead of personalizing it, which

906
00:54:07,120 --> 00:54:10,520
Speaker 1: a lot of times we've had this discussion before, you

907
00:54:10,640 --> 00:54:15,399
Speaker 1: realize that the day to day of the life isn't

908
00:54:15,440 --> 00:54:19,600
Speaker 1: so much about your partner. It's just about the responsibilities

909
00:54:19,880 --> 00:54:25,680
Speaker 1: and you know, whatever that might be, whether it's you know, financial,

910
00:54:25,840 --> 00:54:29,759
Speaker 1: house cleaning, kids, managing school, like all of the like

911
00:54:29,960 --> 00:54:34,839
Speaker 1: eugh that you know goes on and your friends call

912
00:54:35,040 --> 00:54:37,040
Speaker 1: and then it's it takes you out of that for

913
00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:40,160
Speaker 1: a minute. It's like, oh my gosh, wait, I'm not

914
00:54:40,440 --> 00:54:42,839
Speaker 1: mom right now, I'm the friend or oh my god.

915
00:54:42,880 --> 00:54:45,680
Speaker 1: We can talk and laugh about something that you know

916
00:54:46,360 --> 00:54:48,480
Speaker 1: you're not doing, and then you go away and it

917
00:54:48,520 --> 00:54:50,840
Speaker 1: does feel or you have a night or you have

918
00:54:50,880 --> 00:54:53,799
Speaker 1: a birthday or whatever, it's like, oh my god, I

919
00:54:53,800 --> 00:54:57,120
Speaker 1: can leave all of that behind, go laugh, have a

920
00:54:57,160 --> 00:54:59,080
Speaker 1: good time. But then you are coming back. Right It's

921
00:54:59,120 --> 00:55:01,600
Speaker 1: like it's like when we you do a night or

922
00:55:01,640 --> 00:55:04,000
Speaker 1: have an anniversary or something we go and it's like

923
00:55:04,560 --> 00:55:08,720
Speaker 1: reconnected and amazing, and you know, you sex and sleep

924
00:55:08,760 --> 00:55:11,960
Speaker 1: in and you're not in your normal roles. And then

925
00:55:11,960 --> 00:55:14,439
Speaker 1: you come back and the joke is literally you walk

926
00:55:14,440 --> 00:55:17,359
Speaker 1: in the door and it's like gone because you're like, oh,

927
00:55:17,400 --> 00:55:19,520
Speaker 1: we're back. Yeah, we're back to like you know, the

928
00:55:19,680 --> 00:55:22,680
Speaker 1: dog shit on the thing and you know, the kids

929
00:55:22,680 --> 00:55:25,000
Speaker 1: are fighting or whatever. I know, it's a respite for

930
00:55:25,040 --> 00:55:29,160
Speaker 1: your life. It's also that's just you know, normal, but

931
00:55:29,680 --> 00:55:33,520
Speaker 1: I do, I get that, but it's you can't like personalize.

932
00:55:33,560 --> 00:55:35,719
Speaker 1: It's not like you're not I know, you don't do

933
00:55:35,760 --> 00:55:39,440
Speaker 1: this anymore, but no, no, there's an escape. It's like guys,

934
00:55:39,480 --> 00:55:41,160
Speaker 1: and you know, let's say a husband wants to like

935
00:55:41,520 --> 00:55:45,600
Speaker 1: go play golf or basketball or workout or it is

936
00:55:45,640 --> 00:55:48,200
Speaker 1: the feeling of like, oh my gosh, I'm my own person,

937
00:55:48,800 --> 00:55:51,520
Speaker 1: I'm not responsible, I can leave for a minute. Well,

938
00:55:51,560 --> 00:55:54,000
Speaker 1: this is what I love about you. Honestly, it's one

939
00:55:54,040 --> 00:55:56,680
Speaker 1: of my favorite things. And I think that it's part

940
00:55:56,680 --> 00:56:00,640
Speaker 1: of what's kept our relationship amazing. And I would strongly

941
00:56:00,680 --> 00:56:05,719
Speaker 1: suggest both men and women or each equal partners, you know,

942
00:56:06,719 --> 00:56:10,080
Speaker 1: be able to be independent of each other. There's a

943
00:56:10,120 --> 00:56:13,279
Speaker 1: codependency that happens in relationships that will fucking kill it.

944
00:56:13,920 --> 00:56:18,200
Speaker 1: And the most amazing thing about you is that you understand.

945
00:56:18,239 --> 00:56:20,840
Speaker 1: And I always say this to people. You get that

946
00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:23,520
Speaker 1: I love the things that I love and they're important

947
00:56:23,560 --> 00:56:27,200
Speaker 1: to me. My fishing, my big fishing trips, my golf trips,

948
00:56:28,440 --> 00:56:30,320
Speaker 1: you know, whatever it might be, might be my mountain

949
00:56:30,360 --> 00:56:34,640
Speaker 1: biking or whatever it is, it's important to me. So

950
00:56:34,719 --> 00:56:41,239
Speaker 1: it's not necessarily being away from you. It's fulfilling, you know,

951
00:56:41,600 --> 00:56:45,560
Speaker 1: something inside of me. It's something that is passionate, and

952
00:56:45,920 --> 00:56:48,279
Speaker 1: that only makes me a better human being when I'm

953
00:56:48,320 --> 00:56:49,960
Speaker 1: able to do the things that I love to do.

954
00:56:50,080 --> 00:56:54,440
Speaker 1: And you have no issue with those things, with me

955
00:56:54,640 --> 00:56:57,720
Speaker 1: going on a golf course or but I am aware

956
00:56:57,760 --> 00:57:01,319
Speaker 1: of that and I try to recipt kate you know

957
00:57:01,360 --> 00:57:04,239
Speaker 1: what I mean. It's not just take take, take. You

958
00:57:04,320 --> 00:57:07,080
Speaker 1: have to take stock of your relationship. You have to

959
00:57:07,120 --> 00:57:10,839
Speaker 1: be mindful about your relationship and think. You know, even

960
00:57:10,960 --> 00:57:13,759
Speaker 1: yesterday when I'm cleaning, you know, I'm like, okay, I'm cleaning, Okay, good,

961
00:57:13,840 --> 00:57:16,600
Speaker 1: I'm doing my part because I know Aaron does her

962
00:57:16,680 --> 00:57:18,960
Speaker 1: parts and it's time for me to sort of do

963
00:57:19,080 --> 00:57:23,280
Speaker 1: my parts. M hm you know, I love that, poop,

964
00:57:23,320 --> 00:57:27,000
Speaker 1: I love you, but it is true, like I this

965
00:57:27,120 --> 00:57:29,520
Speaker 1: is what I also think too, A I know that

966
00:57:29,560 --> 00:57:32,920
Speaker 1: out mountain biking or you know, fishing or your things

967
00:57:32,920 --> 00:57:35,120
Speaker 1: that say take you away from me and the family.

968
00:57:35,200 --> 00:57:39,320
Speaker 1: Let's say, I don't look at it like that. I

969
00:57:39,400 --> 00:57:41,240
Speaker 1: love that you love doing that. I know what it

970
00:57:41,280 --> 00:57:44,880
Speaker 1: does for you. I also want that in return, right,

971
00:57:44,920 --> 00:57:47,960
Speaker 1: So you can't you know, guilty for going to play

972
00:57:48,080 --> 00:57:50,440
Speaker 1: golf and you're leaving, but then me want to go

973
00:57:50,480 --> 00:57:52,800
Speaker 1: and be with my friends or you know, do something.

974
00:57:52,840 --> 00:57:55,960
Speaker 1: So I always think, oh my gosh, go and do that,

975
00:57:56,040 --> 00:57:58,560
Speaker 1: because I don't want to be a bit about you

976
00:57:58,640 --> 00:58:02,560
Speaker 1: doing something like that, because then, you know, how is

977
00:58:02,600 --> 00:58:04,560
Speaker 1: that fair for me to be like, bye, I'm leaving

978
00:58:04,560 --> 00:58:07,760
Speaker 1: for the weekend. You know. It's a very like give

979
00:58:07,760 --> 00:58:11,560
Speaker 1: and take in that area. I also love my alone time.

980
00:58:12,120 --> 00:58:16,000
Speaker 1: You know, we're a very together couple like all the time,

981
00:58:16,880 --> 00:58:19,480
Speaker 1: you know, and so sometimes it is nice to be like, ah,

982
00:58:19,560 --> 00:58:22,920
Speaker 1: I can just be in a zone of not taking

983
00:58:22,960 --> 00:58:25,320
Speaker 1: care of everybody or you know, whatever that might be.

984
00:58:25,400 --> 00:58:27,880
Speaker 1: And I know for you getting out fishing and you know,

985
00:58:27,960 --> 00:58:30,840
Speaker 1: golfing or you know, being with the guys, it is

986
00:58:31,040 --> 00:58:34,800
Speaker 1: nice sometimes to not be Oh my god, I'm in husband,

987
00:58:35,240 --> 00:58:41,040
Speaker 1: dad mode, work mode. I can just go and be mode,

988
00:58:41,720 --> 00:58:44,680
Speaker 1: no different. But you know, it's so funny. It's with

989
00:58:44,800 --> 00:58:48,040
Speaker 1: all the people that I know, with all the husbands,

990
00:58:48,040 --> 00:58:49,600
Speaker 1: with all the men that I know that are in

991
00:58:49,640 --> 00:58:54,960
Speaker 1: my life, I one, for sure more than half. I'd

992
00:58:55,000 --> 00:58:59,080
Speaker 1: say maybe even eighty five percent have these restrictions that

993
00:58:59,120 --> 00:59:01,200
Speaker 1: get put on them. Oh I can't do that, or

994
00:59:01,360 --> 00:59:04,080
Speaker 1: she's you know she and my wife isn't going to

995
00:59:04,160 --> 00:59:06,680
Speaker 1: let me do that, or whatever it is. Yeah, I'm

996
00:59:06,680 --> 00:59:10,520
Speaker 1: always just amazed me too. Fucking bullshit why it's not

997
00:59:10,560 --> 00:59:13,920
Speaker 1: a big deal and letting I mean, that's so crazy. Now,

998
00:59:14,040 --> 00:59:17,320
Speaker 1: I will say, you don't know the backstory. I I

999
00:59:17,760 --> 00:59:21,400
Speaker 1: you know, somebody works all week long, and you know

1000
00:59:21,520 --> 00:59:24,160
Speaker 1: they're one day on the weekend to be with the

1001
00:59:24,240 --> 00:59:26,800
Speaker 1: kids or help around the house or do whatever that

1002
00:59:26,880 --> 00:59:32,600
Speaker 1: might be. My thing is is my family comes first, right,

1003
00:59:32,720 --> 00:59:36,480
Speaker 1: So as long as that is the theme, you know,

1004
00:59:36,600 --> 00:59:38,840
Speaker 1: and you're making the effort, I think you should. We

1005
00:59:38,840 --> 00:59:41,120
Speaker 1: should all have our own things to do and not

1006
00:59:41,160 --> 00:59:43,480
Speaker 1: be threatened by it. And you know, I know that's

1007
00:59:43,480 --> 00:59:49,160
Speaker 1: hard for some people. Mm hmm. You know, yeah, No,

1008
00:59:49,240 --> 00:59:50,760
Speaker 1: it's a good point. Like there's a few make a

1009
00:59:50,760 --> 00:59:53,320
Speaker 1: good point. I mean, I'm speaking from such a personal space.

1010
00:59:54,000 --> 00:59:58,280
Speaker 1: I'm very lucky to be an actor to work hard,

1011
00:59:58,840 --> 01:00:01,280
Speaker 1: you know, but then have time off. I mean, I'm

1012
01:00:01,280 --> 01:00:04,440
Speaker 1: always doing shit over there. But beyond, I mean beyond.

1013
01:00:04,600 --> 01:00:07,720
Speaker 1: Our situation is not gig where it's a norm, you know,

1014
01:00:07,920 --> 01:00:09,880
Speaker 1: nine to five and you wake up, you know, and

1015
01:00:09,920 --> 01:00:13,000
Speaker 1: then it's like it's the weekend. I'm out, Okay, sorry,

1016
01:00:13,080 --> 01:00:15,840
Speaker 1: I'm going fishing for the weekend and the kids and

1017
01:00:16,760 --> 01:00:20,920
Speaker 1: you're fucking going fishing. You have seen us all week right,

1018
01:00:21,080 --> 01:00:23,320
Speaker 1: And also I will say this and I'm sure I

1019
01:00:23,360 --> 01:00:26,680
Speaker 1: can this will resonate too with people. But you know,

1020
01:00:26,760 --> 01:00:29,640
Speaker 1: being a stay at home mom, you know, it's like

1021
01:00:29,960 --> 01:00:33,680
Speaker 1: there's somebody that comes home from say work, at the

1022
01:00:33,800 --> 01:00:39,040
Speaker 1: end of the day, exhausted, you know, dealing with work things,

1023
01:00:39,120 --> 01:00:41,200
Speaker 1: and you know their mind is somewhere else. They come

1024
01:00:41,240 --> 01:00:44,000
Speaker 1: home and it is the feeling of like, oh now

1025
01:00:44,040 --> 01:00:46,400
Speaker 1: I have to work again, meaning oh I got to

1026
01:00:46,440 --> 01:00:49,240
Speaker 1: go into you know, the zone of the kids and

1027
01:00:49,320 --> 01:00:51,800
Speaker 1: helping and you know, whatever that might be. And it's

1028
01:00:52,120 --> 01:00:54,640
Speaker 1: you know what I'm saying, so like, but as the

1029
01:00:54,680 --> 01:00:58,080
Speaker 1: mom who's been home with kids or babies, or you know,

1030
01:00:58,640 --> 01:01:01,400
Speaker 1: managing all day too. There is relief when your partner

1031
01:01:01,440 --> 01:01:02,960
Speaker 1: comes home at the end of the day. You almost

1032
01:01:02,960 --> 01:01:06,400
Speaker 1: want to be like, oh you're home. Here, take them.

1033
01:01:06,760 --> 01:01:10,160
Speaker 1: And that person's coming in exhausted, like wait, I need

1034
01:01:10,200 --> 01:01:14,040
Speaker 1: a minute to myself, Like there's an unwinding time. I mean,

1035
01:01:14,680 --> 01:01:18,240
Speaker 1: the thing is, no matter what the situation is, working,

1036
01:01:18,280 --> 01:01:22,080
Speaker 1: staying at home, that kind of stuff, the general consensus

1037
01:01:22,080 --> 01:01:27,880
Speaker 1: should be respect and acknowledgement of the other person, because

1038
01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:31,520
Speaker 1: do you remember when you know. Sometimes I think this

1039
01:01:31,600 --> 01:01:33,600
Speaker 1: is a common theme too. People are like battling of

1040
01:01:33,680 --> 01:01:35,560
Speaker 1: like well I've been doing this all day. Well I've

1041
01:01:35,600 --> 01:01:37,160
Speaker 1: been doing that all day, and it becomes this like

1042
01:01:37,240 --> 01:01:39,240
Speaker 1: tit for tat. I'm like, well I'm doing this and

1043
01:01:39,280 --> 01:01:44,080
Speaker 1: I did that instead of appreciating the other person, putting

1044
01:01:44,120 --> 01:01:48,360
Speaker 1: yourself in their shoes and saying you know, sometimes it's

1045
01:01:48,400 --> 01:01:49,560
Speaker 1: just like oh my god, I know you've had a

1046
01:01:49,640 --> 01:01:52,880
Speaker 1: really long day, like let me, you know, help with

1047
01:01:52,920 --> 01:01:56,080
Speaker 1: this for a little bit, or remembering to stay as

1048
01:01:56,120 --> 01:01:59,560
Speaker 1: a team and kind of I think everybody just always

1049
01:01:59,560 --> 01:02:03,320
Speaker 1: wants to be appreciated or acknowledged, whatever that may be

1050
01:02:03,560 --> 01:02:06,160
Speaker 1: It might be something small, it might be something big.

1051
01:02:06,840 --> 01:02:09,720
Speaker 1: But if there's an appreciation for your partner and what

1052
01:02:09,760 --> 01:02:12,960
Speaker 1: they're doing, or an ability to kind of shine a

1053
01:02:13,000 --> 01:02:16,160
Speaker 1: light and say, oh, yeah, you know, maybe they weren't

1054
01:02:17,080 --> 01:02:19,320
Speaker 1: working quote unquote all day, but they were home with

1055
01:02:19,400 --> 01:02:25,080
Speaker 1: the kids all day, which is exhausting on another level managing, feeding, washing, cleaning.

1056
01:02:25,680 --> 01:02:29,440
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's hard just to express those things because you

1057
01:02:29,600 --> 01:02:31,400
Speaker 1: when you're in it, well, no, you have to be

1058
01:02:31,480 --> 01:02:34,640
Speaker 1: vulnerable to sort of say hey, I appreciate you. No,

1059
01:02:34,720 --> 01:02:36,400
Speaker 1: I know, And I had to deal with all that,

1060
01:02:36,560 --> 01:02:40,640
Speaker 1: meaning like just lack of vulnerable. I was feeling too

1061
01:02:40,720 --> 01:02:44,840
Speaker 1: vulnerable to even express my gratitude. You know. It was

1062
01:02:45,360 --> 01:02:47,040
Speaker 1: hard to look at you and be like, you know

1063
01:02:47,080 --> 01:02:50,400
Speaker 1: what you're doing, You're doing an amazing thing. I appreciate

1064
01:02:50,440 --> 01:02:53,600
Speaker 1: everything that you do. Oh my god, it so hard

1065
01:02:53,600 --> 01:02:56,720
Speaker 1: to say that because it's so much When I used

1066
01:02:56,720 --> 01:02:58,720
Speaker 1: to say that, things have shifted. But when I used

1067
01:02:58,720 --> 01:03:03,320
Speaker 1: to force myself to say that, which side note, forced

1068
01:03:03,320 --> 01:03:06,480
Speaker 1: yourself to say that, even if it hurts and you

1069
01:03:06,520 --> 01:03:09,000
Speaker 1: feel like that fucking feeling and you're like, oh god,

1070
01:03:09,040 --> 01:03:12,360
Speaker 1: I'm being soft, because that's the other thing from my

1071
01:03:12,640 --> 01:03:16,880
Speaker 1: male sort of perspective or my feeling of masculinity whatever

1072
01:03:17,280 --> 01:03:20,760
Speaker 1: that means nowadays. But like there was this sort of

1073
01:03:21,120 --> 01:03:24,320
Speaker 1: saw I was like too soft. Yeah, I don't know why.

1074
01:03:24,360 --> 01:03:27,080
Speaker 1: I felt like, you know, it was being not tough

1075
01:03:27,240 --> 01:03:30,040
Speaker 1: or something crazy where for me to tell you, you

1076
01:03:30,080 --> 01:03:33,840
Speaker 1: know what, you're soft. It's vulnerable. Vulnerable yeah, because also

1077
01:03:33,880 --> 01:03:37,000
Speaker 1: that forced yourself to say it, right, But I will

1078
01:03:37,040 --> 01:03:39,440
Speaker 1: say this, Okay, there's I'm sure there's some people you

1079
01:03:39,520 --> 01:03:43,080
Speaker 1: want the reaction to feel good. Right, So when you

1080
01:03:43,160 --> 01:03:45,200
Speaker 1: say something like that to me and I say, oh

1081
01:03:45,240 --> 01:03:47,080
Speaker 1: my god, that means so much, babe, I love you,

1082
01:03:47,240 --> 01:03:50,560
Speaker 1: thank you, then it's great. You feel good. Every thing works.

1083
01:03:50,680 --> 01:03:52,439
Speaker 1: What you don't want is someone to be like, yeah,

1084
01:03:52,440 --> 01:03:55,640
Speaker 1: that's right, thanks for noticing, or you know what I mean,

1085
01:03:55,760 --> 01:03:58,280
Speaker 1: Like you have to know your partner. Like a lot

1086
01:03:58,320 --> 01:04:01,160
Speaker 1: of times there's these feelings of resentment and these feelings

1087
01:04:01,200 --> 01:04:03,680
Speaker 1: that build up in people and friends and relationships that

1088
01:04:03,720 --> 01:04:06,520
Speaker 1: I've seen and heard where it is this battle of

1089
01:04:06,600 --> 01:04:09,360
Speaker 1: like I do this, he doesn't notice I do all that,

1090
01:04:09,440 --> 01:04:11,000
Speaker 1: and then the other person's like, well I'm doing this,

1091
01:04:11,080 --> 01:04:13,520
Speaker 1: and you know, it just starts to separate people and

1092
01:04:13,560 --> 01:04:18,040
Speaker 1: you become resentful. And that shit builds up. The best

1093
01:04:18,120 --> 01:04:20,520
Speaker 1: thing you can do is be vulnerable and just lay

1094
01:04:20,520 --> 01:04:22,440
Speaker 1: it out on the table. No matter how much it sucks,

1095
01:04:22,560 --> 01:04:26,560
Speaker 1: it usually brings the other person's guard down and then

1096
01:04:26,560 --> 01:04:29,360
Speaker 1: there's a feeling of like, oh my gosh, thank you, no,

1097
01:04:29,440 --> 01:04:31,600
Speaker 1: thank you, I love you, No, I love you. I mean,

1098
01:04:31,640 --> 01:04:33,760
Speaker 1: it can literally lead to that kind of stuff. Oh

1099
01:04:33,960 --> 01:04:39,360
Speaker 1: and by the way, watch how that changes your sex.

1100
01:04:40,040 --> 01:04:42,400
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, no, for real, you know what I mean.

1101
01:04:42,440 --> 01:04:45,040
Speaker 1: It sounds crazy, but once you open up, or once

1102
01:04:45,080 --> 01:04:48,840
Speaker 1: you can get a little more vulnerable, or if it's painful,

1103
01:04:48,920 --> 01:04:50,920
Speaker 1: but just fucking try it and be hey, you know what,

1104
01:04:51,280 --> 01:04:53,920
Speaker 1: I've noticed that you've been doing this, and I just

1105
01:04:53,920 --> 01:04:57,080
Speaker 1: want you to know that I've noticed that even though

1106
01:04:57,520 --> 01:05:00,840
Speaker 1: you know, for me, you know, it's hard to be

1107
01:05:00,920 --> 01:05:04,680
Speaker 1: vulnerable sometimes and even say that, but that openness will

1108
01:05:04,760 --> 01:05:10,360
Speaker 1: lead to better sex. What I thought you were going

1109
01:05:10,400 --> 01:05:16,320
Speaker 1: to say something dirty, But it's true because then there's

1110
01:05:16,360 --> 01:05:20,440
Speaker 1: a connection. Appreciation. It's that little you know, elephant in

1111
01:05:20,480 --> 01:05:22,520
Speaker 1: the room or whatever you want to say that breaks

1112
01:05:22,560 --> 01:05:27,880
Speaker 1: the ice, you know, And well, I mean, you know,

1113
01:05:28,000 --> 01:05:30,600
Speaker 1: last night you being appreciated. Yeah, last night you went

1114
01:05:30,600 --> 01:05:35,520
Speaker 1: out with your friends. Yeah, totally good. Now, I know

1115
01:05:36,200 --> 01:05:39,600
Speaker 1: you're going to come home late, which is another thing

1116
01:05:39,640 --> 01:05:41,680
Speaker 1: that you do, by the way, but talk about later

1117
01:05:42,000 --> 01:05:44,080
Speaker 1: You're like, ohly a couple hours. I'm like, no, you're not.

1118
01:05:44,200 --> 01:05:46,440
Speaker 1: You know what I mean. Not last night I was

1119
01:05:46,480 --> 01:05:48,480
Speaker 1: saying in general, I knew you're going to come home well.

1120
01:05:48,560 --> 01:05:50,919
Speaker 1: I also it's like usually if you were to ask

1121
01:05:51,000 --> 01:05:52,959
Speaker 1: any of us, we were like, let's start early because

1122
01:05:52,960 --> 01:05:54,320
Speaker 1: it's a school night, we're going to do this. And

1123
01:05:54,360 --> 01:05:56,040
Speaker 1: then we get there and no one, Yeah, of course.

1124
01:05:56,080 --> 01:05:57,880
Speaker 1: You know. What I need to do is say to you,

1125
01:05:58,000 --> 01:06:00,120
Speaker 1: is like I'll be home at like two, right and

1126
01:06:00,120 --> 01:06:01,960
Speaker 1: then and then just come home at like midnight and

1127
01:06:02,000 --> 01:06:06,400
Speaker 1: then surprise you. I love that, But okay, learned something new.

1128
01:06:06,400 --> 01:06:08,240
Speaker 1: We're gonna try. Last night I had to sort of

1129
01:06:08,320 --> 01:06:12,600
Speaker 1: check myself because my mind was I was like, okay,

1130
01:06:12,760 --> 01:06:14,800
Speaker 1: you know, I know she's coming home late, and I

1131
01:06:14,840 --> 01:06:16,480
Speaker 1: didn't even think about when you were coming home. I

1132
01:06:16,560 --> 01:06:18,400
Speaker 1: just put it out of my mind. But now I'm like,

1133
01:06:18,400 --> 01:06:23,240
Speaker 1: all right, well is she drinking and she's drinking with

1134
01:06:23,320 --> 01:06:26,320
Speaker 1: her girls. It's a school day. We got to get up,

1135
01:06:26,520 --> 01:06:27,960
Speaker 1: and I'm like, am I going to take all the

1136
01:06:27,960 --> 01:06:30,480
Speaker 1: fucking kids to school, you know, because they're at the

1137
01:06:30,520 --> 01:06:33,080
Speaker 1: same school, but they're in like different weird buildings. The

1138
01:06:33,160 --> 01:06:36,720
Speaker 1: drop offs get staggered. It's that's a whole other fucking podcast.

1139
01:06:36,960 --> 01:06:40,560
Speaker 1: But you know, and I'm like, you know, she gonna

1140
01:06:40,800 --> 01:06:42,760
Speaker 1: sit she better wake up. I mean, like, I can't

1141
01:06:42,760 --> 01:06:45,760
Speaker 1: do this on my own. And I'm like, oh, shut

1142
01:06:45,760 --> 01:06:48,959
Speaker 1: the fuck up. That's old self talk. I'm so glad

1143
01:06:49,000 --> 01:06:50,640
Speaker 1: you noticed that. No, I'm like, I'm like, who gives

1144
01:06:50,680 --> 01:06:52,080
Speaker 1: a shit, Yeah, just get up and you do it,

1145
01:06:52,400 --> 01:06:55,000
Speaker 1: because how about you know what it is. This is

1146
01:06:54,480 --> 01:06:56,720
Speaker 1: what I said to check myself. This is what I

1147
01:06:56,760 --> 01:06:59,120
Speaker 1: say to that because this is very, very important in

1148
01:06:59,160 --> 01:07:02,840
Speaker 1: the beginning of a relationship. When you're falling in love

1149
01:07:03,000 --> 01:07:06,400
Speaker 1: and you you know, want your person to love you

1150
01:07:06,440 --> 01:07:10,040
Speaker 1: know you and you love them, it's this feeling of like,

1151
01:07:10,080 --> 01:07:12,240
Speaker 1: oh my god, go I have so much fun. Like

1152
01:07:12,840 --> 01:07:16,880
Speaker 1: instead of this feeling of like, you know, she's gonna

1153
01:07:16,880 --> 01:07:18,280
Speaker 1: be extra tired and I might have to do all

1154
01:07:18,280 --> 01:07:20,240
Speaker 1: the kids, it should be like, oh my god, she

1155
01:07:20,280 --> 01:07:22,640
Speaker 1: hasn't seen her friends, she's been gone all summer. She's

1156
01:07:22,680 --> 01:07:25,520
Speaker 1: finally you know, having a night with her girlfriends. How fun.

1157
01:07:25,560 --> 01:07:28,120
Speaker 1: I hope she has a great time, Like when you

1158
01:07:28,160 --> 01:07:32,320
Speaker 1: go out to fish or you know, golf, I'm like, oh,

1159
01:07:32,520 --> 01:07:35,000
Speaker 1: I know he's having the best time. Not fish and

1160
01:07:35,040 --> 01:07:37,040
Speaker 1: you think the boat's gonna burn up and I'm gonna

1161
01:07:37,120 --> 01:07:39,680
Speaker 1: drown and sink. Right, Well, that's my own shit. But

1162
01:07:39,960 --> 01:07:42,040
Speaker 1: for you, in my mind, I'm like, I know you

1163
01:07:42,080 --> 01:07:45,919
Speaker 1: are literally like at your peak of happiness. That makes

1164
01:07:45,960 --> 01:07:49,960
Speaker 1: me happy, you know what I'm saying, Like, instead of resentful,

1165
01:07:50,480 --> 01:07:54,400
Speaker 1: it's a you know, that feeling of like for your partner,

1166
01:07:54,600 --> 01:07:56,000
Speaker 1: you're all of a sudden mad at me and you're

1167
01:07:56,000 --> 01:07:59,280
Speaker 1: going into you know, she's gonna be wait, you know,

1168
01:07:59,640 --> 01:08:02,720
Speaker 1: drunk or like hungover or coming in late and tired,

1169
01:08:02,800 --> 01:08:05,600
Speaker 1: And that's like a not a nice way to think

1170
01:08:05,640 --> 01:08:08,000
Speaker 1: of it, instead of oh my god, I hope she

1171
01:08:08,040 --> 01:08:10,920
Speaker 1: had fun, and like I'm glad she's with their girlfriends

1172
01:08:11,280 --> 01:08:15,000
Speaker 1: and she deserves that. Everyone was this way, there'd be

1173
01:08:15,080 --> 01:08:17,720
Speaker 1: no divorce, or there would be a lot less of it,

1174
01:08:17,760 --> 01:08:23,560
Speaker 1: because that's that's true. Open vulnerable communication so much easier

1175
01:08:23,640 --> 01:08:25,680
Speaker 1: said than fucking done, you know what I mean. But

1176
01:08:25,720 --> 01:08:28,120
Speaker 1: I'm glad you caught yourself. I did. But I'm just saying,

1177
01:08:28,280 --> 01:08:31,559
Speaker 1: like it's hard. I just want to be clear about that.

1178
01:08:31,640 --> 01:08:35,320
Speaker 1: It's hard to be vulnerable like you you talked, we

1179
01:08:35,360 --> 01:08:37,240
Speaker 1: talked at our therapists, or you talk to therapists, and

1180
01:08:37,400 --> 01:08:40,240
Speaker 1: like you just like just communicate, just tell her you

1181
01:08:40,280 --> 01:08:44,160
Speaker 1: appreciate her, or you know, tell her that. Yeah, it's

1182
01:08:44,200 --> 01:08:46,600
Speaker 1: easier said than done. It's not that easy to just

1183
01:08:47,200 --> 01:08:50,800
Speaker 1: I'm super I'm not getting upset. I'm just I'm just

1184
01:08:50,840 --> 01:08:53,559
Speaker 1: saying that. You know, it's it's hot. It's not an

1185
01:08:53,600 --> 01:08:56,960
Speaker 1: easy thing to do for men and women. I think

1186
01:08:57,280 --> 01:08:59,360
Speaker 1: I think a lot more for men, you know, but

1187
01:09:00,720 --> 01:09:03,759
Speaker 1: you know, it's hard for a guy to just straight

1188
01:09:03,840 --> 01:09:07,240
Speaker 1: up out of nowhere, at least for me, just just

1189
01:09:07,240 --> 01:09:09,240
Speaker 1: going to say it very generally, because there are guys

1190
01:09:09,240 --> 01:09:11,840
Speaker 1: that you know, no, of course there are, of course

1191
01:09:11,880 --> 01:09:14,160
Speaker 1: there are. I'm speaking for myself, and then just my

1192
01:09:14,760 --> 01:09:19,599
Speaker 1: small group your dad exactly, my small group of friends.

1193
01:09:19,600 --> 01:09:22,519
Speaker 1: But it's it's hard, just unsolicited just to you know,

1194
01:09:22,880 --> 01:09:24,720
Speaker 1: take your wife and look at her and be like, hey,

1195
01:09:24,720 --> 01:09:28,519
Speaker 1: you know what, just thinking about it. You know, I

1196
01:09:28,560 --> 01:09:31,840
Speaker 1: just really appreciate you, and I just love all the

1197
01:09:31,880 --> 01:09:35,280
Speaker 1: things that you do for this family, and I recognize

1198
01:09:35,320 --> 01:09:39,120
Speaker 1: what you do around the house and how you are

1199
01:09:39,280 --> 01:09:42,639
Speaker 1: the you know, the hand in the clock that makes

1200
01:09:42,680 --> 01:09:45,160
Speaker 1: it work. You're you're the one that ticks. I don't

1201
01:09:45,200 --> 01:09:49,280
Speaker 1: know what I do without you. Not an easy thing

1202
01:09:49,320 --> 01:09:52,360
Speaker 1: to just say, was that? Just like you were saying

1203
01:09:52,400 --> 01:09:56,320
Speaker 1: that to me, I was doing acting okay, Yeah, I

1204
01:09:56,360 --> 01:10:00,640
Speaker 1: mean I mean that. Okay, but like are you? I

1205
01:10:00,720 --> 01:10:03,160
Speaker 1: mean that? But it's not mean. My point is it's

1206
01:10:03,200 --> 01:10:06,640
Speaker 1: not easy just to sit your partner down. Well you

1207
01:10:06,680 --> 01:10:11,920
Speaker 1: don't have to say and just say, but think about it.

1208
01:10:11,960 --> 01:10:15,880
Speaker 1: That took thirty seconds, little tiny thing for you to say,

1209
01:10:16,120 --> 01:10:18,880
Speaker 1: means the world to the person receiving it, and it

1210
01:10:18,880 --> 01:10:23,040
Speaker 1: can shift the entire day and relationship and all that stuff.

1211
01:10:23,080 --> 01:10:30,120
Speaker 1: Sometimes it is that it's not simple but simplistic. Let's

1212
01:10:30,120 --> 01:10:35,519
Speaker 1: always say it's simple. It's not simplistic. Yeah, you're drowning

1213
01:10:35,560 --> 01:10:40,479
Speaker 1: in a cup. It's a therapist. We were in a

1214
01:10:40,479 --> 01:10:45,679
Speaker 1: couple of therapy for a minute. You know, saved our marriage. Basically,

1215
01:10:45,720 --> 01:10:50,840
Speaker 1: you're drowning in a cup. I'm like, okay, he said

1216
01:10:50,840 --> 01:10:53,360
Speaker 1: that to me so much over the hour. Many years.

1217
01:10:53,760 --> 01:10:56,320
Speaker 1: I've been drowning in a cup for years. I never

1218
01:10:56,360 --> 01:10:58,639
Speaker 1: said that to me. I've never heard that one. My god,

1219
01:10:58,640 --> 01:11:02,479
Speaker 1: I'm always drowning in a cup Jesus, and I'm always

1220
01:11:02,520 --> 01:11:04,559
Speaker 1: picturing it when he says it. I picture like a

1221
01:11:04,600 --> 01:11:10,280
Speaker 1: white ceramic, tiny tea cup me and they're like, ah,

1222
01:11:10,320 --> 01:11:15,200
Speaker 1: like you picture like a teacup, a teacup, wow, drowning

1223
01:11:15,200 --> 01:11:18,000
Speaker 1: in a cup? Meaning I guess right. I was picturing

1224
01:11:18,040 --> 01:11:20,280
Speaker 1: like I can get out of head I want, meaning,

1225
01:11:20,439 --> 01:11:23,679
Speaker 1: just stand up and fucking get out of the cup, right, Okay,

1226
01:11:23,760 --> 01:11:27,200
Speaker 1: I don't know. I never really asked him. I I'm

1227
01:11:27,200 --> 01:11:28,920
Speaker 1: pretty sure that's what it is. You might have to

1228
01:11:28,960 --> 01:11:32,200
Speaker 1: text him. But sometimes those little things just mean the

1229
01:11:32,200 --> 01:11:35,400
Speaker 1: world and you don't even think it, you know, think

1230
01:11:35,479 --> 01:11:39,639
Speaker 1: much of it, but it does. M hm. I appreciate you,

1231
01:11:41,120 --> 01:11:43,639
Speaker 1: but words don't really matter. No better. It's funny. It's

1232
01:11:43,640 --> 01:11:47,440
Speaker 1: like I was just about to say that it's love language.

1233
01:11:47,600 --> 01:11:49,879
Speaker 1: I just have to show you and touches and kisses

1234
01:11:49,920 --> 01:11:54,880
Speaker 1: and hugs and scratches and yeah, I mean if you're

1235
01:11:54,920 --> 01:11:57,519
Speaker 1: like I think I appreciate you and almost makes it

1236
01:11:57,560 --> 01:12:01,160
Speaker 1: you're being a hug no wham. And you said that

1237
01:12:01,200 --> 01:12:02,760
Speaker 1: to me. I mean, it's nice, but it's not. It

1238
01:12:02,760 --> 01:12:06,040
Speaker 1: doesn't get me, you know, like I almost deflect in

1239
01:12:06,080 --> 01:12:08,479
Speaker 1: a strange way. Like compliments are hard for me to take.

1240
01:12:08,600 --> 01:12:10,280
Speaker 1: That's another thing I've been working on. It's sort of

1241
01:12:10,600 --> 01:12:14,000
Speaker 1: taking a compliment like hey, I loved you in this show,

1242
01:12:14,160 --> 01:12:16,320
Speaker 1: or you do a finish a scene like dude, that

1243
01:12:16,400 --> 01:12:20,160
Speaker 1: was fucking great or whatever. I'm like, he thinks, thanks, Like,

1244
01:12:20,439 --> 01:12:23,360
Speaker 1: just don't say that, you know. So when I'm washing

1245
01:12:23,400 --> 01:12:26,680
Speaker 1: the dishes and you come and you're like bag like

1246
01:12:26,840 --> 01:12:30,800
Speaker 1: you watching the dishes, I'm like, ah, don't say that,

1247
01:12:31,600 --> 01:12:34,080
Speaker 1: like am I? But then what do I do? When

1248
01:12:34,080 --> 01:12:35,680
Speaker 1: do I say it? Because I want to show you

1249
01:12:35,720 --> 01:12:40,439
Speaker 1: the appreciation I acknowledge things doing it and little reach

1250
01:12:40,520 --> 01:12:45,000
Speaker 1: reach around okay, silent reach around, silent reach around that

1251
01:12:45,080 --> 01:12:49,440
Speaker 1: translates to thank you and I appreciate you. Yeah, okay,

1252
01:12:50,920 --> 01:12:57,240
Speaker 1: I gotta go. That's a morning pod. The Morning Pod.

1253
01:12:58,960 --> 01:13:02,479
Speaker 1: That was good, right, yep, you know because when we

1254
01:13:02,479 --> 01:13:04,760
Speaker 1: were starting this little all over the place. But I know,

1255
01:13:04,840 --> 01:13:08,200
Speaker 1: but I like that. You know, Aarin's a fucking planner

1256
01:13:08,600 --> 01:13:15,960
Speaker 1: and I am not. I mean, I hate plans. I calendar.

1257
01:13:16,000 --> 01:13:18,280
Speaker 1: I like despise plans when you take out your calendar.

1258
01:13:18,320 --> 01:13:20,200
Speaker 1: Sometimes the night we'll get into bed and he'll open

1259
01:13:20,280 --> 01:13:23,040
Speaker 1: up his calendar as a joke, and he'll look at

1260
01:13:23,040 --> 01:13:25,360
Speaker 1: me and he'll be like, babe, do you want a plan?

1261
01:13:25,600 --> 01:13:28,040
Speaker 1: And it is on. Yeah, it's on because I know

1262
01:13:28,080 --> 01:13:30,479
Speaker 1: he's joking. Now, sometimes when I do plan, you're like,

1263
01:13:30,520 --> 01:13:33,000
Speaker 1: are you planning? I'm like, babe, please not now, like

1264
01:13:33,040 --> 01:13:35,519
Speaker 1: I really do want to figure this out sometimes, but

1265
01:13:35,560 --> 01:13:38,160
Speaker 1: then yeah, because you get like are you planning, I'm like,

1266
01:13:38,560 --> 01:13:40,720
Speaker 1: that's one of those things. I know. I love it,

1267
01:13:40,760 --> 01:13:43,360
Speaker 1: but the calendar and I love playing. You like to plan.

1268
01:13:43,520 --> 01:13:45,360
Speaker 1: I do not like to plan. So when we started

1269
01:13:45,760 --> 01:13:49,120
Speaker 1: this morning drop the kids off at school, we got

1270
01:13:49,160 --> 01:13:50,439
Speaker 1: it because we got to do it early, we got

1271
01:13:50,479 --> 01:13:54,000
Speaker 1: to get it in. Yeah, he's getting her coffee and

1272
01:13:54,040 --> 01:13:56,640
Speaker 1: I'm like, Babe, we gotta fucking go because Alice and

1273
01:13:56,680 --> 01:13:59,439
Speaker 1: our producer's waiting and she's eating her little like peanut

1274
01:13:59,479 --> 01:14:04,400
Speaker 1: butter bar. Not into the microphone. I'm just making the

1275
01:14:04,439 --> 01:14:07,000
Speaker 1: sound effect. I'm like, hey, well, what are we going

1276
01:14:07,080 --> 01:14:09,840
Speaker 1: to talk about? We have no plan. I'm like, who cares,

1277
01:14:09,920 --> 01:14:13,080
Speaker 1: Let's fucking go. And I think it turns out good.

1278
01:14:13,720 --> 01:14:15,040
Speaker 1: It does turn out good, but we do have to

1279
01:14:15,080 --> 01:14:17,400
Speaker 1: meet in the middle. Sometimes you have to like just

1280
01:14:17,680 --> 01:14:21,520
Speaker 1: you know, we don't have to have like a scheduled,

1281
01:14:21,560 --> 01:14:27,240
Speaker 1: like you know, bullet point. Well, we're doing this, you know,

1282
01:14:27,439 --> 01:14:30,519
Speaker 1: we're filling in. My sister's been working her butt off

1283
01:14:31,040 --> 01:14:34,439
Speaker 1: doing cool shit and we're filling in. Even though it's

1284
01:14:34,439 --> 01:14:39,240
Speaker 1: not sibling Revelry, we're not talking about siblings. This has

1285
01:14:39,280 --> 01:14:43,840
Speaker 1: been fun for you and I. The response has been

1286
01:14:43,880 --> 01:14:47,360
Speaker 1: really cool. Honestly, we've gotten some amazing emails, one in

1287
01:14:47,400 --> 01:14:52,160
Speaker 1: particular that was brought me to tears. I know, And

1288
01:14:52,640 --> 01:14:56,080
Speaker 1: maybe we do this for real, like do our own

1289
01:14:56,120 --> 01:14:58,840
Speaker 1: thing at some point. Yeah, it would be so fun.

1290
01:14:58,880 --> 01:15:00,400
Speaker 1: I'm just like, are people going to go a word

1291
01:15:00,439 --> 01:15:04,960
Speaker 1: with like the ins and outs of Well again, we

1292
01:15:05,040 --> 01:15:08,880
Speaker 1: have to plan. See, Okay, we need to get a

1293
01:15:08,880 --> 01:15:11,080
Speaker 1: petition going you if we can get one hundred thousand

1294
01:15:11,160 --> 01:15:18,479
Speaker 1: signatures e signatures, yeah, and then what we what people

1295
01:15:18,520 --> 01:15:21,400
Speaker 1: would want to hear more of too. So we already

1296
01:15:21,400 --> 01:15:24,840
Speaker 1: have stuff. We haven't even gone into kids, parenting. It's

1297
01:15:24,880 --> 01:15:27,479
Speaker 1: it's it's there's so much. Look, there's a million marriage

1298
01:15:27,520 --> 01:15:32,000
Speaker 1: podcasts out there, there's no doubt about it. But no

1299
01:15:32,040 --> 01:15:37,160
Speaker 1: one like us, babe, no one like us. All Right,

1300
01:15:37,400 --> 01:15:43,519
Speaker 1: until next time, Okay, I love you. Sibling Revelry is

1301
01:15:43,600 --> 01:15:46,880
Speaker 1: executive produced by Kate Hudson and Oliver Hudson. Producer is

1302
01:15:46,960 --> 01:15:51,360
Speaker 1: Alison President, Editor is Josh Wendish. Music by Mark Hudson

1303
01:15:51,720 --> 01:15:54,160
Speaker 1: a k a. Uncle Mark. If you want to show

1304
01:15:54,240 --> 01:15:57,080
Speaker 1: us some love, rate the show and leave us a review.

1305
01:15:57,200 --> 01:16:00,920
Speaker 1: This show is powered by Simple Cast No