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Speaker 1: Countdown with Keith Olderman is a production of iHeartRadio. Kevin

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Speaker 1: Owen McCarthy, representative of the twentieth California Congressional District and

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Speaker 1: fifty fifth Speaker of the House of Representatives, has jeopardized

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Speaker 1: the security and safety of every representative and every Senator

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Speaker 1: and every staffer, and the continuity of the government of

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Speaker 1: the United States of America, and publicly admitted committing the

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Speaker 1: act by which he did so. He must be indicted

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Speaker 1: and arrested. We know now that Tucker Carlson gained access

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Speaker 1: to the January sixth video by a dishonest sleight of

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Speaker 1: hand executed by Speaker McCarthy. That Congressman Brian's Style asked

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Speaker 1: the Capitol Police to set up a video terminal so

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Speaker 1: he Style could view the footage in his capacity as

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Speaker 1: Chairman of the House Administration Committee. But McCarthy, acting without

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Speaker 1: authorization and without even the minimal decency to warren Capitol Police,

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Speaker 1: whose lives he would also risk by his actions, then

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Speaker 1: gave Carlson access to that terminal designed for Brian's Style.

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Speaker 1: If the Capitol Police Board cannot or will not act

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Speaker 1: on its own to close the terminal to Carlson and

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Speaker 1: to House Republicans until the nation can be assured Brian's

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Speaker 1: Style and Kevin McCarthy are not lying about who the

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Speaker 1: viewing station is for today, the Department of Homeland Security

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Speaker 1: and the Department of Justice need to step in. They

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Speaker 1: must block Tucker Carlson's access to that video, the secrecy

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Speaker 1: of which is vital to the safety of the United

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Speaker 1: States capital, and the containment of which is essential to

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Speaker 1: prevent another violent assault by some of Tucker Carlson's viewers,

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Speaker 1: an assault designed to overthrow the government of the United States,

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Speaker 1: and the Department of Justice needs to investigate which laws

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Speaker 1: Speaker McCarthy and Congressman's Style have violated and indict and

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Speaker 1: arrest them accordingly. Unilaterally, granting a grandstanding propagandist of dubious

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Speaker 1: sanity access to the video is bad enough, and it

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Speaker 1: violates national security interests. But to do it by scam

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Speaker 1: like the one McCarthy and Style have run is sufficient

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Speaker 1: to merit prosecution and sufficient for Democrats in the House

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Speaker 1: to bring motions of censure and even expulsion for both

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Speaker 1: of these blindly, brazenly, irresponsibly stupid supposed public servants. Tucker

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Speaker 1: Carlson and Fox News have no more right to see

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Speaker 1: this unedited video than Vladimir Putin does. Tucker Carlson's conduct,

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Speaker 1: his irresponsibility over decades, his disloyalty to this country suggest

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Speaker 1: he is the last person in this country who should

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Speaker 1: control what happens to this video, and Kevin McCarthy is

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Speaker 1: the next to last person in this country who should

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Speaker 1: control what happens to this video. McCarthy finally has said

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Speaker 1: something about his actions. Unfortunately, what he said sounds like

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Speaker 1: something said by a child. He told the New York

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Speaker 1: Times last night. Quote I promised, unquote, he added, I

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Speaker 1: was asked in the press about these tapes, and I

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Speaker 1: said they do belong to the American public. I think sunshine.

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Speaker 1: Lets everybody make their own judgment unquote. Of course, here

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Speaker 1: McCarthy is both lying and mistaken. The so called promise

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Speaker 1: he made, the one that jeopardizes the lives of every

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Speaker 1: member of Congress, including his own, was made not to

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Speaker 1: the American public but to the insurrectionists in his own party,

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Speaker 1: who demanded the public release of the remaining security video

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Speaker 1: so they could cherry pick from it as part of

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Speaker 1: their price for voting for him. For speaker. Additionally, under

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Speaker 1: no circumstances is Tucker Carlson the American public. His audience

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Speaker 1: may seem large in a cable news context, but it

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Speaker 1: is about the same as Friday night wrestling on Fox,

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Speaker 1: and it is about half that of sixty minutes last Friday,

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Speaker 1: two million, seven hundred and eighty eight thousand Americans watched

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Speaker 1: Carlson's show, meaning the other three hundred and thirty million

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Speaker 1: did not. Additionally, McCarthy's use of the word sunshine in

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Speaker 1: any context relating to Tucker Carlson is certainly a first

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Speaker 1: in the history of the world. But before his very

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Speaker 1: limited and very scared sounding quote to the newspaper, Kevin

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Speaker 1: McCarthy's team spoke volumes yesterday. It blasted a fundraising email.

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Speaker 1: It was not titled Kevin McCarthy gives American public access

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Speaker 1: to January six tapes. It was titled Kevin McCarthy gives

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Speaker 1: Tucker Carlson access to those tapes, Patriot. It begins, you

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Speaker 1: deserve the facts, all of the facts. I have released

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Speaker 1: the full forty four thousand hours of uncut camera surveillance footage.

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Speaker 1: McCarthy then fund raises off his actions. Would you consider

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Speaker 1: chipping in twenty five dollars, fifty dollars or one hundred

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Speaker 1: dollars to help House Republicans keep delivering on our commitments

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Speaker 1: to America the use of America. There is a surprise,

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Speaker 1: and you would think that under the circumstances McCarthy would

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Speaker 1: give donors a DVD showing where all the security cameras

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Speaker 1: and hidden escape routes in the Capitol are located, but

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Speaker 1: no such offer is presented. The use of the personal

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Speaker 1: pronoun in that email I have released when the viewing

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Speaker 1: station was set up at the request of Congressman's style

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Speaker 1: adds to the evidence that McCarthy lied to the Capitol

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Speaker 1: police to get their cooperation, and it underscores the need

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Speaker 1: for DOJ and Homeland Security to shut down the viewing

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Speaker 1: station today, to shut down Tucker Carlson, and for that matter,

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Speaker 1: to shut down Kevin McCarthy. It would be at this

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Speaker 1: point that a McCarthy or Carlson defender would start yelling

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Speaker 1: about my hypocrisy in wanting the cops to come and

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Speaker 1: stop a journalist from seeing this video. Were there journalists

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Speaker 1: involved in this process, this might in fact be a

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Speaker 1: complicating action in court in their own defense. However, Fox

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Speaker 1: and Tucker Carlson have repeatedly and utter oath asserted that

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Speaker 1: he is not a journalist. There is no more of

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Speaker 1: a free press issue here than there would be if

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Speaker 1: Brian Style and Kevin McCarthy had connived to put the

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Speaker 1: January sixth footage in the hands of the producers of

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Speaker 1: the aforementioned Friday night wrestling show. We know from Tuesday's

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Speaker 1: developments that the Capitol Police Board, made up of the

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Speaker 1: acting Architect of the Capitol and the sergeants at arms

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Speaker 1: of the House and the Senate, was supposedly to me

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Speaker 1: yesterday and perhaps even to vote on whether to shut

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Speaker 1: down the viewing terminal, or at least shut it down

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Speaker 1: from Tucker Carlson and his producer's gaze. But as I

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Speaker 1: recording time, there were no details from that meeting yet

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Speaker 1: if it indeed took place, nor was information forthcoming from

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Speaker 1: an internal meeting of House Democratic leadership called for Wednesday

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Speaker 1: by Akeem Jeffries. But Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer went

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Speaker 1: off on McCarthy and Carlson and Fox and the entire

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Speaker 1: corrupt scumbaggery of this quote. The Speaker, nor any elected

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Speaker 1: official does not have the right to jeopardize the safety

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Speaker 1: of senators, nor Senate and Capital staff for their own

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Speaker 1: political purposes. Schumer wrote to the other Democratic senators period

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Speaker 1: full stop. Schumer fleshed out the security problem that is

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Speaker 1: at the heart of McCarthy's crimes and why officials must intervene. Quote.

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Speaker 1: The footage speaker McCarthy is making available to Fox News

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Speaker 1: is a treasure trove of closely held in about how

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Speaker 1: the Capital Complex is protected. It publicly reveals the locations

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Speaker 1: of security cameras across the Capital grounds. It also risks

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Speaker 1: exposing the carefully laid out and highly guarded plans for

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Speaker 1: the continuity of government intended to preserve our democracy in

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Speaker 1: the event of an attack. The speaker is needlessly exposing

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Speaker 1: the Capital Complex to one of the worst security risks

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Speaker 1: since nine to eleven end quote. Schumer could just as

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Speaker 1: easily have noted that that is why McCarthy executed this charade,

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Speaker 1: because Tucker Carlson is his best route to reach those

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Speaker 1: who need to know how the capital is protected, and

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Speaker 1: where the cameras are and what the continuity plans are.

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Speaker 1: He did note, Schumer that is that Carlson has no

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Speaker 1: fidelity to the truth. Schumer called him disingenuous, which is

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Speaker 1: a polite way of underscoring the reality here, which is that,

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Speaker 1: in the same way George Santos cannot stop lying, Tucker

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Speaker 1: Carlson exists solely to dissemble and manipulate and propagandize. Regrettably,

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Speaker 1: at this point, Chuck Schumer's letter comes to a screeching halt.

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Speaker 1: Let me be clear, his penultimate paragraph begins. The Senate

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Speaker 1: strongly objects to the release, but Schumer then says nothing

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Speaker 1: about the Senate taking any action to prevent it or

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Speaker 1: to find those culpable for it, as if there were

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Speaker 1: some reason not to blow up McCarthy and Style and

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Speaker 1: Fox News for it that matter, by subpoenaing them to

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Speaker 1: appear before a Senate committee. These are not traditional fights

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Speaker 1: between two political parties. This is the leader of one

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Speaker 1: party in the House, the speaker of that August organization,

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Speaker 1: so desperate for power that he committed himself to working

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Speaker 1: against the national security interests of the United States of America,

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Speaker 1: and there are laws against such treachery. If the Senate

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Speaker 1: wants to hold back, or the Democrats of both houses

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Speaker 1: want to hold back, there would seemingly be no other

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Speaker 1: option in his fundraising email and his quote to The

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Speaker 1: New York Times, Kevin McCarthy has confessed and boasted about it. Quote.

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Speaker 1: I have released the full forty four thousand hours of

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Speaker 1: uncut camera surveillance footage. Kevin Owen McCarthy has willfully endangered

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Speaker 1: every congressman, senator staffer, to say nothing of the continuity

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Speaker 1: of the government itself. And therefore he has willfully endangered

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Speaker 1: every American. This is treasonous. Arrest him still ahead of

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Speaker 1: us in this edition of Countdown, since we're still on

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Speaker 1: the topic of the Fox quote news unquote channel and

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Speaker 1: it's continuing attack on America. Time for me to fess up.

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Speaker 1: I went out on two dates with Laura Ingram. To

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Speaker 1: be fair, it was a century ago. On the other hand,

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Speaker 1: I still have the scars a surprise in the presidential

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Speaker 1: approval polls. But I was told Joe Biden couldn't possibly

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Speaker 1: do this, and Special counsel Jack Smith reportedly subpoena's testimony

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Speaker 1: from Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner Trump. And before you say,

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Speaker 1: at least they can't possibly claim, they can refuse by

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Speaker 1: claiming some kind of made up privilege, you've forgotten about

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Speaker 1: NEPO baby privilege, haven't you That's next? This is countdown.

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Speaker 1: This is countdown with Keith postscripts to the news. Some headlines,

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Speaker 1: some updates, some snarks, some predictions, state line District of Columbia.

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Speaker 1: Some subpoenas from the Special Council's office more of them.

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Speaker 1: The testimony of Ivanka Trump and her husband Jared Kushner

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Speaker 1: Trump is demanded by the office of Jack Smith. Per

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Speaker 1: The New York Times and Maga Haberman. Here we wait

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Speaker 1: for the Special Council to subpoena Haberman. Dateline East Palestine, Ohio, Trump,

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Speaker 1: who once posted of the deregulations of the railroad industry

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Speaker 1: which permitted the chemical spilled disaster on the Ohio Pennsylvania border,

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Speaker 1: visited that city and brought the people there baseball caps

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Speaker 1: and bottled water. He says the water was Trump Water.

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Speaker 1: Trump Water went out of business in two ten, meaning

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Speaker 1: those containers of water have been filled with water and

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Speaker 1: germs for thirteen years. As if East Palestine didn't already

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Speaker 1: have enough toxic waste. Date Line Orlando police say a

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Speaker 1: suspect shot and killed a woman in the Pine Hills

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Speaker 1: neighborhood there in the morning yesterday. Then after TV cruise

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Speaker 1: showed up to cover the story. Hours later, the same

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Speaker 1: man returned and shot at the TV news cruise. Four

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Speaker 1: people were hit, One reporter and a child were killed.

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Speaker 1: Date Lines Madison, Wisconsin and New York Former House Speaker

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Speaker 1: Paul Ryan slammed both President Biden and Trump for not

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Speaker 1: cutting or gutting social Security and Medicare. Ryan said, they

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Speaker 1: quote are doing the opposite of leadership. At almost the

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Speaker 1: same hour, the former Vice President Mike Pence attacked Kevin

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Speaker 1: McCarthy and to quote Pence, while I respect the speaker's

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Speaker 1: commitment to take Social Security and Medicare off the table

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Speaker 1: for the debt ceiling negotiations, we've got to put them

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Speaker 1: on the table in the long term unquote. Remind me

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Speaker 1: again about McCarthy's claim that the GEO p does not

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Speaker 1: want to cut or gut social Security and Medicare. Thank you,

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Speaker 1: Nancy Faust and dateline for Keepsie, New York. Polling from

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Speaker 1: Marist College based in that city, done for NPR and PBS,

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Speaker 1: showing something every American political pundit has assured us would

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Speaker 1: never happen. While half of them were insisting that Joe

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Speaker 1: Biden should not seek reelection. Do you approve or disapprove

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Speaker 1: of the job Biden is doing as president? The Marist

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Speaker 1: Pole asked registered voters disapprove forty five percent, approve forty

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Speaker 1: nine percent approve would be more in this poll. Stell

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Speaker 1: ahead on countdown the Awful truth as we discussed the

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Speaker 1: end of Fox News or what should be the end

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Speaker 1: of Fox News in this debacle over Kevin McCarthy and

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Speaker 1: Tucker Carlson. I dated Laura Ingram first time for the

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Speaker 1: daily round ups of the other miscreants, morons and Donning

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Speaker 1: Kruger effect specimens who constitute today's whereas persons in the world.

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Speaker 1: The Bronze thirty year old Angelina Cando arrested and now

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Speaker 1: facing charges of arson, criminal mischief, reckless endangerment, and hate crimes.

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Speaker 1: Somebody pulled up to the Little Prince restaurant in New

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Speaker 1: York City, went up to the Pride flag hanging outside

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Speaker 1: of it, and lit the flag on fire. Once police

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Speaker 1: confirmed it was not anybody working for the New York

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Speaker 1: Rangers or the National Hockey League, they arrested Cando because,

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Speaker 1: in addition to being a homophobe, she's also a moron.

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Speaker 1: Never occurred to miss Cando that restaurants these days have

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Speaker 1: security cameras. The entire episode was caught on video. The

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Speaker 1: Bronze speaking of morons, Sean Hannity, because of all the

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Speaker 1: hatred stuffed inside him along with all the scotch, we

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Speaker 1: sometimes forget the stupidity in his case. Sean Hannity hosted

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Speaker 1: Marjorie Trader Green on his TV show to discuss her

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Speaker 1: national divorce stunt. Hannity highlighted one part of it that

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Speaker 1: he likes, quote banning people who moved from blue states

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Speaker 1: to red states from voting for five years so they

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Speaker 1: don't bring their band politics with them. I actually favor

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Speaker 1: that idea un punchline. Sean Hannity is a legal resident

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Speaker 1: of New York State, so if he moved into Marjorie

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Speaker 1: Taylor Green's Confederate States of Moron America, he just endorsed

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Speaker 1: denying himself the right to vote for five years. But

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Speaker 1: our winner, it's Marge herself first. The divorce of red

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Speaker 1: states from blue states, in which the red states get

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Speaker 1: to keep everything they like at the Blue states expense,

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Speaker 1: while she remains blissfully unaware that she lives in a

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Speaker 1: blue state. Now, Green has told a waiting world of

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Speaker 1: her next project, the preservation of statues honoring Confederate heroes.

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Speaker 1: Won't the descendants of the victims of slavery take offense? No,

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Speaker 1: she says, quote. If I were black people today and

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Speaker 1: I walked by one of those statues, I would be

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Speaker 1: so proud because I'd say, look how far I have

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Speaker 1: come in this country, just like the pride Green no

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Speaker 1: doubt feels when she goes to Bedrock Ranch in Williams,

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Speaker 1: Arizona and walks by the statue of Barney Rubble Marjorie, Yeah, dab,

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Speaker 1: Now what's the rest of it? Taylor Green, Today's worst

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Speaker 1: person in the world, to the number one story on

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Speaker 1: the countdown on my favorite topic, Me and Things I

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Speaker 1: promised not to tell. My tattered little diary from nineteen

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Speaker 1: ninety seven informs me the twenty five years ago this week,

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Speaker 1: in the second month of my news career at MSNBC,

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Speaker 1: one of my guests for the first time was one

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Speaker 1: of the network's original contributor commentators, original MSNBC talent, Laura Ingram.

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Speaker 1: This began a process that ended in us going out

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Speaker 1: on two dates, and something she told me on the

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Speaker 1: first of these dates has resonated with me literally every

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Speaker 1: month since, and is relevant to politics today. I did

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Speaker 1: not so much date her as survive her. Even then

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Speaker 1: before nine to eleven helped to slide her cheese off

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Speaker 1: her cracker. I find a diary entry referring to her

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Speaker 1: as Hurricane Laura. That was March fifteenth, nineteen ninety eight.

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Speaker 1: Beware the odds of March Julius Caesar. I didn't, honestly,

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Speaker 1: and God help me, nearly forty eight years of dating,

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Speaker 1: I have not been a kiss. And tell her I

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Speaker 1: have dated. I don't know dozens. We're in a couple

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Speaker 1: of hundred, actually thirteen, seriously, with maybe three exceptions. You

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Speaker 1: don't know any of their names. One of them, now

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Speaker 1: a political writer, basically lived with me for three years.

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Speaker 1: I keep that confidence. So why am I telling this

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Speaker 1: story violating that? Because not three months after that first date,

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Speaker 1: when we were still going out, Laura Ingram asked me

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Speaker 1: if she could look at a speech was going to

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Speaker 1: give it Cornell's graduation weekend and offer suggestions. This is

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Speaker 1: so long ago. I literally faxed it to her. Sure enough,

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Speaker 1: a couple days later, I'm watching Imus in the Morning,

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Speaker 1: which was televised by my network MSNBC, and there on

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Speaker 1: his desk in front of him is the fact copy

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Speaker 1: of my speech, and he is reading from my facts.

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Speaker 1: I could recognize the exact sequence of the vertical stripes.

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Speaker 1: My cheap fax machine used to streak all of my

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Speaker 1: outgoing pages with Laura used to go on his show

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Speaker 1: a lot, so to curry favor with Imus, she sent

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Speaker 1: him the speech without asking me, as I told her

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Speaker 1: that day, all bets are now off. So I've told

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Speaker 1: parts of this story before, like she had been a

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Speaker 1: Supreme Court clerk for Clarence Thomas, and our first date

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Speaker 1: consisted of taking me on an insider's tour of the

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Speaker 1: court and having me sit in his chair in tribute

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Speaker 1: to him. I did not say or do anything constructive.

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Speaker 1: She then cooked me the largest steak I had ever

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Speaker 1: seen that did not have a rodeo cowboy riding on it,

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Speaker 1: and we watched a woman later discredited because she could

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Speaker 1: not keep her stories straight, go on sixty minutes and

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Speaker 1: make allegations against Bill Clinton. This is my perfect date,

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Speaker 1: Laura told me, seared into my memory. But the important

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Speaker 1: Laura Ingram story sitting there in the middle of all

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Speaker 1: the debris, I don't think I've ever told this. The

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Speaker 1: first date was only about six weeks after the then

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Speaker 1: First Lady Hillary Clinton got on The Today Show and

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Speaker 1: blamed the at best exaggerated scandal about her husband and

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Speaker 1: Monica Lewinsky on the quote vast right wing conspiracy man

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Speaker 1: is sound stumpid. Laura said that night, as she showed

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Speaker 1: me her small office upstairs, I expected that she was

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Speaker 1: about to decry the idea that Republicans would exploit television,

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Speaker 1: talk radio and the brand new Internet to try to

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Speaker 1: bring down a president from the other party. And I said,

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Speaker 1: so naive little boy that I was now not that,

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Speaker 1: of course, we aren't doing that. She was kind of

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Speaker 1: offended that I doubted the conspiracy part. I explained, I'd

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Speaker 1: only been covering politics for two months. At the end

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Speaker 1: of the day, she said, end of the day, constantly,

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Speaker 1: at the end of the day, it's that vast part.

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Speaker 1: It's not vast, vast right wing conspiracy. Why, I bet

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Speaker 1: there's not even thirty of us. Laura Ingraman explained that

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Speaker 1: she was essentially the central desk for what she called

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Speaker 1: the miniature right wing conspiracy. She showed me a printed

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Speaker 1: page that had the facts numbers of about two dozen people.

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Speaker 1: There at the top are the sources. She said. There

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Speaker 1: was Ted Olson, the attorney, founder of the so called

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Speaker 1: Arkansas Project on the husband of Barbara Olsen, a constant

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Speaker 1: presence as a talking head on cable news. She later

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Speaker 1: died on nine to eleven. Body liked her. There were

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Speaker 1: several numbers in the office of Independent Council ken Starr.

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Speaker 1: One of them read B. Kavanaugh. I said, who's that?

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Speaker 1: She said, nobody impartant. The only other name I remember

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Speaker 1: was Spencer Abraham, who then was a senator from Michigan.

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Speaker 1: She said, they, including the people in ken Starr's office,

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Speaker 1: sent her all the rumors, the ideas, stuff about Clinton.

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Speaker 1: Stuff they made up, and she distributed them to the

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Speaker 1: other parts of the list. That's these numbers. One number

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Speaker 1: was marked Hannity Radio, another Hannity TV, O'Reilly Radio, O'Reilly TV.

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Speaker 1: There was one for Limbaugh. There was one mark Justice Thomas,

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Speaker 1: and I pointed to it. He likes to stay and farmed. Now,

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Speaker 1: maybe the most important name is not on that list.

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Speaker 1: That's Matt Dredge. She said. Matt Drudge used all her stuff,

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Speaker 1: but he didn't want any of it to be traceable.

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Speaker 1: Very big on not traceable, so I never facts it

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Speaker 1: to him. She said, I just give it to my

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Speaker 1: This is when she still liked her brother. He sees

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Speaker 1: Drudge all the time. He gives the stuff to Drudge. Now, Oliver,

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Speaker 1: here is my baseball collection. See there were reasons to

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Speaker 1: go out with her. At the time, I could think

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Speaker 1: only of an old cartoon I had once seen. It

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Speaker 1: was an octopus working in the post office, using all

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Speaker 1: eight of its limbs to sort the mail. But every

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Speaker 1: couple of weeks it dawns on me afresh. Then I

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Speaker 1: was actually a witness to one of the earliest configurations

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Speaker 1: of the machinery. And there is no doubt today whether

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Speaker 1: it is vast or miniature. It's beast, the machinery that

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Speaker 1: links the right wing politicians and those who are supposed

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Speaker 1: to be above the fray, like Supreme Court justices and

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Speaker 1: special prosecutors and people like that. There with the right

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Speaker 1: wing publicity outlets that pretend to be news organizations like

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Speaker 1: Fox and Drudge and o N and Newsmax, and the

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Speaker 1: ones that don't even pretend, like those who succeeded Limbaugh.

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Speaker 1: This machine is, in fact everything that your typical paranoid

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Speaker 1: conservative republican fascist trumpist thinks is being run by George

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Speaker 1: Soros or Bill Gates or doctor Fauci or me. You

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Speaker 1: want to be able to say, there are reports or

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Speaker 1: accusations about some Democrat or a liberal figure or celebrity. Well,

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Speaker 1: somebody puts a rumor in at one end of the machinery,

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Speaker 1: or somebody makes up a rumor at one end of

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Speaker 1: the machinery. It is then sent to dozens of other people.

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Speaker 1: They repeat it voila. Suddenly there are reports. The reports

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Speaker 1: then get fed back to Fox News or bright Bart

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Speaker 1: or the Wall Street Journal or the Supreme Court, or

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00:25:48,955 --> 00:25:53,835
Speaker 1: they're just tweeted by a thousand bots simultaneously. You want

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Speaker 1: to push this ancient racist, anti Semitic paranoia called the

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00:25:57,635 --> 00:26:00,395
Speaker 1: Great Replacement, but you want it to come out washed

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Speaker 1: clean enough that soulless opportunists like at least to Find

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Speaker 1: and JD Vance can say it aloud on the campaign

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Speaker 1: trail without forfeiting their candidacies. This is the machinery. And

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Speaker 1: I saw the machinery when it was just a list

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Speaker 1: of twenty and thirty people, and at that moment I

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00:26:18,955 --> 00:26:23,795
Speaker 1: barely recognized the importance of what I saw. Then again,

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Speaker 1: I was still on that night, recovering from not just

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Speaker 1: the giants steak, but something far more visceral. Earlier that day,

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Speaker 1: as we were leaving the Supreme Court, Laura Ingram had

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Speaker 1: boasted about getting even with an ex boyfriend by going

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Speaker 1: back into what had been their house and putting up

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Speaker 1: exact copies of all the photos of the two of

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Speaker 1: them together that he had taken down from his walls.

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Speaker 1: And when he got smart and changed the locks, she

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Speaker 1: went back again to finish the job. Found her key

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00:26:58,635 --> 00:27:03,915
Speaker 1: didn't work so naturally as you would. She stuffed his

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Speaker 1: garden home through the mail slot of his front door

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Speaker 1: and turned on the outdoor Spiggott ten thousand dollars rith

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Speaker 1: the hirn who when Flora's ruined, she said proudly, And

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Speaker 1: part of me screamed, flee, flee. Now I didn't flee. Later,

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Speaker 1: as I tried to sleep, two noises kept me awake, snoring,

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Speaker 1: not my own, and Laura's dog. Laura's dog kept talking

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Speaker 1: in his sleep, I mean almost in syllables, Yeah, like that.

395
00:27:47,555 --> 00:27:50,275
Speaker 1: It was something like twenty five degrees out and I

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00:27:50,315 --> 00:27:52,915
Speaker 1: was on the second floor. And yet I resolved that

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Speaker 1: if her dog really did make that last leap to

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Speaker 1: formulate actual syllables, and it turned out her dog was

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00:28:00,955 --> 00:28:03,235
Speaker 1: the one telling her what to do. I was simply

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00:28:03,235 --> 00:28:06,595
Speaker 1: going to leave by the window without bothering to open

401
00:28:06,635 --> 00:28:11,635
Speaker 1: it first. The next morning, Laura and I walked her dog.

402
00:28:11,875 --> 00:28:14,395
Speaker 1: We got to an empty field. She threw a tennis ball.

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00:28:14,475 --> 00:28:17,675
Speaker 1: He went and got it. She cocked her arm back again.

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00:28:17,715 --> 00:28:22,195
Speaker 1: He took off, loving life as he did. She did

405
00:28:22,235 --> 00:28:25,235
Speaker 1: not throw it. He went forty fifty sixty feet, then

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00:28:25,315 --> 00:28:30,235
Speaker 1: stopped and looked back at her with such disappointment and

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00:28:30,835 --> 00:28:35,875
Speaker 1: even a sense of betrayal, and she said, loudly, without

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00:28:35,915 --> 00:28:39,795
Speaker 1: a trace of affection for him or anything else, wait

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00:28:39,995 --> 00:28:44,515
Speaker 1: far at which is when I realized I was being

410
00:28:44,635 --> 00:28:51,395
Speaker 1: courted to be the next dog. A few weeks later,

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Speaker 1: back home in New York, I got home from working

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Speaker 1: an early morning shift filling in for the commentator Paul

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Speaker 1: Harvey at ABC Radio. I was just waking up from

414
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Speaker 1: a tortured nap when the phone rang aunts Laura, I'm downstairs.

415
00:29:02,235 --> 00:29:05,635
Speaker 1: We're going to my old law frames party at the museum.

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Speaker 1: I said. I was exhausted. We're going, or I'll just

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Speaker 1: stay here at this pay phone outside her plans calling

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Speaker 1: you all night. We went the next option opportunity probably

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00:29:18,195 --> 00:29:19,995
Speaker 1: was going to be me on the wrong end of

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Speaker 1: a hostage drama. Turned out she was not invited to

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Speaker 1: her party. We're crashing it. I'm going to drink heavily. Frankly,

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Speaker 1: it was a great party. I got to meet Hillary

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Speaker 1: Clinton's mother and her brother. And if you think the

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00:29:34,195 --> 00:29:38,195
Speaker 1: fascists are completely sincere about everything, even their neuroses and

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00:29:38,275 --> 00:29:42,195
Speaker 1: their paranoia, no, Laura Ingram hugged Hillary Clinton's mother and

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Speaker 1: Hillary Clinton's brother. They seemed to be friends. Later we

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Speaker 1: wound up meeting friends of her in the Oak bar

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Speaker 1: at the Plaza Hotel, where she kept drinking. I was astonished.

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Speaker 1: After about her sixth Cosmopolitan on top of everything she'd

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Speaker 1: had at the party, she began to droop her head,

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Speaker 1: nodding like a bobblehead doll. Her friends, Okay, that's it,

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Speaker 1: we'll take care of the check. You take care of her.

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00:30:10,715 --> 00:30:13,595
Speaker 1: She had not gotten a hotel room or anything. And

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Speaker 1: if you've ever heard of anybody who needed to be

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00:30:16,235 --> 00:30:19,115
Speaker 1: poured into a cab because they were so drunk, you

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00:30:19,155 --> 00:30:21,275
Speaker 1: don't really know what that means until you have to

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00:30:21,315 --> 00:30:26,355
Speaker 1: pour them into a cab. Frankly, I wanted to put

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Speaker 1: her in a hotel somewhere, but the spectacle would have

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00:30:30,395 --> 00:30:34,075
Speaker 1: made the gossip pages. She basically could not stand up,

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Speaker 1: so I took her to my apartment, put her into

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Speaker 1: my bed, and I went and slept on the couch

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00:30:39,275 --> 00:30:42,275
Speaker 1: at the far end of the apartment, which is where

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00:30:42,315 --> 00:30:44,755
Speaker 1: I was hours later in the morning when she woke

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00:30:44,835 --> 00:30:48,515
Speaker 1: me up because she came parading through using my phone

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00:30:48,555 --> 00:30:50,755
Speaker 1: to call my assistant to get a car sent to

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00:30:50,915 --> 00:30:53,915
Speaker 1: my address to take her to the airport, and to

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00:30:53,955 --> 00:30:56,435
Speaker 1: make sure that everybody in my office knew she had

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00:30:56,435 --> 00:31:00,995
Speaker 1: stayed overnight at my apartment. And all I kept thinking

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00:31:01,195 --> 00:31:06,235
Speaker 1: was why didn't I follow my instincts. Instincts said flee?

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00:31:07,475 --> 00:31:15,075
Speaker 1: I fleed? Not, of course, if I had fled, I

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00:31:15,115 --> 00:31:17,395
Speaker 1: would have missed seeing the telephone tree of the miniature

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00:31:17,475 --> 00:31:37,355
Speaker 1: right wing conspiracy, wouldn't I. Well, if you spend forty

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00:31:37,355 --> 00:31:40,435
Speaker 1: eight years of your life dating, I'm gonna make some mistakes,

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00:31:41,275 --> 00:31:48,395
Speaker 1: big mistakes, terrible, horrible, unfixable mistakes, mistakes that they'll put

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Speaker 1: on your tombstone. Countdown has come to you from the

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00:31:50,915 --> 00:31:54,955
Speaker 1: studios of All Women Broadcasting umpire World headquarters here in

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00:31:54,995 --> 00:31:57,675
Speaker 1: the Sports Capsule Building in New York. Thank you for listening.

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00:31:58,155 --> 00:32:00,715
Speaker 1: Here are the credits. Most of the music was arranged, produced,

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Speaker 1: and performed by Brian Ray and John Philip Channel. They

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00:32:03,675 --> 00:32:07,355
Speaker 1: are the Countdown music directors produced by Tko Brothers. All

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00:32:07,515 --> 00:32:11,275
Speaker 1: orchestration and keyboards by John Philip Channel, guitars, bass and

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00:32:11,355 --> 00:32:15,075
Speaker 1: drums by Brian Ray. Other Beethoven selections have been arranged

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00:32:15,115 --> 00:32:18,035
Speaker 1: and performed by the group No Horns Allowed. The sports

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00:32:18,115 --> 00:32:21,275
Speaker 1: music is the Alderman theme from ESPN two and it

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00:32:21,315 --> 00:32:24,795
Speaker 1: was written by Mitch Warren Davis and appears courtesy of ESPN, Inc.

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00:32:25,275 --> 00:32:28,795
Speaker 1: Musical comments from Nancy Faust The best baseball stadium organist ever.

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00:32:29,155 --> 00:32:32,155
Speaker 1: Our announcer today was Larry David and everything else was

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00:32:32,155 --> 00:32:35,115
Speaker 1: pretty much my fault. So let's countdown for this the

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00:32:35,195 --> 00:32:38,755
Speaker 1: seven hundred and seventy ninth day since Donald Trump's first

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00:32:38,755 --> 00:32:42,195
Speaker 1: attempted coup against the democratically elected government of the United States.

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Speaker 1: Arrest him now while we still can. The next scheduled

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Speaker 1: countdown is tomorrow. Till then, I'm Keith Olderman. Good morning,

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00:32:49,715 --> 00:33:08,915
Speaker 1: good afternoon, goodnight, and good luck. Countdown with Keith Alerman

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00:33:09,075 --> 00:33:13,515
Speaker 1: is a production of iHeartRadio. For more podcasts from iHeartRadio,

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00:33:13,755 --> 00:33:17,715
Speaker 1: visit the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get

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00:33:17,755 --> 00:33:18,675
Speaker 1: your podcasts.