Speaker 1: Get your vitamin right with me and get excited. Good morning,
Speaker 1: good afternoon, good evening. Wherever you may be, you are
Speaker 1: tuned into the Vitamin D with Dawn Day podcast. And
Speaker 1: if you haven't guessed it already, I'm your host Dawn Day,
Speaker 1: and I'm here to get too excited enough about your
Speaker 1: life so that you can live life on purpose and
Speaker 1: for a purpose. Now this is your first time tuning in. Welcome,
Speaker 1: I'm so glad to have you. Um. I want to
Speaker 1: tell you now that vitamin D is upont of my name.
Speaker 1: You know my name is Dawn, so you get vitamin
Speaker 1: D from the sun. So I am here to shed
Speaker 1: light into your life. And I do this with inspirational
Speaker 1: insights and conversations with everyday people and some of your
Speaker 1: favorite celebrities, so it gets a kind of interesting. And
Speaker 1: also I have these special moments where I answer some
Speaker 1: advice letters that you guys right in just to give
Speaker 1: you my take. Because when we talk about vitamin D,
Speaker 1: it's about shedding the light. So I shed light on
Speaker 1: these letters. But I want to be clear, Um, when
Speaker 1: you shed light, that's on the good and the bad.
Speaker 1: So if you wanna be better and you want to
Speaker 1: do better. You gotta be able to see better. So
Speaker 1: I'm gonna give a t straight no chaser because I
Speaker 1: want to keep it real with you. Becauld you imagine
Speaker 1: like a plant being put into the ground, expecting soil
Speaker 1: and not getting it. How do you expect to grow? Huh?
Speaker 1: And I'm assuming that you wrote in because you want
Speaker 1: to grow. You want to get some insight. So I
Speaker 1: want to encourage anyone else that you know they feel
Speaker 1: tempted and go ahead and email me Vitamin D at
Speaker 1: Dawn day Speaks dot com. Okay, Um, I hope your
Speaker 1: day is going off well. I hope that you are
Speaker 1: walking in positivity and lighting all that good stuff. How
Speaker 1: am I? I'm cool, I'm good, I'm transition and learning
Speaker 1: in life. What I um about being present? I'm learning
Speaker 1: life and I'm reflecting and I'm seeing myself because I
Speaker 1: told you I want to grow, and I told you
Speaker 1: more of what we're doing with the Vitamin D with
Speaker 1: daunt podcast. Um what else? Also? I probably should have
Speaker 1: said this right before. Um, how many of you guys
Speaker 1: have noticed or been in seasons where people are falling away,
Speaker 1: like you know, different friends, They're just falling away and
Speaker 1: not like because it's a fight. It's just that things
Speaker 1: are changing or you know, um, you find yourself. Uh
Speaker 1: just as some people say, they say it's like a
Speaker 1: prowning season, and that's because it's just time to elevate
Speaker 1: with life. And so sometimes things are you know, may
Speaker 1: not be going as playing, but you see the change going.
Speaker 1: I guess that's really what's going on. So I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna say that bad, but I see it and it's
Speaker 1: so uncomfortable. And I just wanted to remind you to
Speaker 1: stay strong in your mind because I can see the
Speaker 1: blessings that are happening in my life. I can feel them.
Speaker 1: I'm experiencing them. And just like how the tides run
Speaker 1: high and the tides run low, how in the morning
Speaker 1: there is the sun and that night there's dusk. I
Speaker 1: I have these moments of all these blessings, but then
Speaker 1: it's still life. And I just want to encourage you
Speaker 1: to stay mentally in the game because I fight it myself. Yes,
Speaker 1: vitamin D yes, dawn day, old inspiration. I have these
Speaker 1: moments where I have to force myself. I have to
Speaker 1: remind myself. I have to exercise this brain of mind
Speaker 1: because I know what I ask God for and I
Speaker 1: know what the promises all my life, and I just
Speaker 1: want you to remind yourself, whatever the promises, things may
Speaker 1: not be going the way that you expect. It may
Speaker 1: not be happening when the moment that you want them
Speaker 1: to happen, but know that it's happening right on time.
Speaker 1: That quote unquote missed opportunity, perhaps it wasn't ready, or
Speaker 1: you have something out better for you. And I guess
Speaker 1: it's just the understanding of that. It's just the peace
Speaker 1: of that. I think that's what the flow of that is.
Speaker 1: And I guess that's what we need to get in
Speaker 1: a better flow of things, not just hitting our head
Speaker 1: and getting frustrated because it doesn't work, it doesn't help,
Speaker 1: it doesn't soothe. It's like when you when you're getting
Speaker 1: frustrated and you're getting upset, it's almost like having your
Speaker 1: muscles be constricted for so long it aches, it hurts,
Speaker 1: but when you just breathe, put them shoulders down and relax,
Speaker 1: almost as if you can just sit back and get
Speaker 1: a view kind of like maybe that's also why they
Speaker 1: say play the game of chess, because you can really
Speaker 1: just see all the pieces that are on the board.
Speaker 1: In fact, you understand why you're in this position and
Speaker 1: understanding with me the result of the next position. And
Speaker 1: I think that comes with the understanding. So peace be
Speaker 1: still on that. Clearly I had to get that out
Speaker 1: about something because I was going in with the der
Speaker 1: may over here like mmm, Laura on the board, like okay,
Speaker 1: but yeah, I just want to say that. So let
Speaker 1: me go into that. I don't a bag and read
Speaker 1: this letter. Oh first, let me say thank you, thank
Speaker 1: you so much. Here's the letter. Thank you so much
Speaker 1: for writing in. Thank you so much for being vulnerable.
Speaker 1: Thank you so much for choosing you and wanting to elevate,
Speaker 1: to be better and to do better. Okay, all right,
Speaker 1: now let me tell you now I love you, and
Speaker 1: I appreciate you, and I respect you and to honor you.
Speaker 1: All right, let's go in. Here is the Vitamin Due
Speaker 1: Advice letter, subject my husband doesn't want me to go
Speaker 1: back to work. HM. Dear Dawn, I just aced an
Speaker 1: interview for the job of my dreams. I should be
Speaker 1: over the moon, but I'm feeling like I've stepped onto
Speaker 1: a path of doom. I'm thirty eight, living in San Diego,
Speaker 1: and I've been to stay at home mom for about
Speaker 1: six years now. My husband and I are both what
Speaker 1: you might call high achieving. He's a legal consultant for
Speaker 1: some large media corporation, and I used to work as
Speaker 1: an academic before we decided to have children. Considering that
Speaker 1: he made them and was in the most stable position,
Speaker 1: I wasn't tenure track and I didn't foresee getting to
Speaker 1: that point soon. We decided that we'd become a single
Speaker 1: income household and i'd stay back with the kids. Looking
Speaker 1: back on it, I came into our marriage thinking that
Speaker 1: once whatever children we had started going to school, I'd
Speaker 1: start working again. I've since realized that my husband wasn't
Speaker 1: of that same mindset. We ended up having a beautiful
Speaker 1: baby girl, and I have love for the past five
Speaker 1: years being able to see her grow. But I've also
Speaker 1: missed the classroom and the ability to do research. So
Speaker 1: now that our baby is getting ready to go to
Speaker 1: school next year, lord hoping it's in person, I decided
Speaker 1: to look into getting a new job. I didn't tell
Speaker 1: my husband, though. Since our daughter has been born, he's
Speaker 1: been showing upgrade taking care of her, taking time from
Speaker 1: work when I need to break, bringing his mom from
Speaker 1: across the country to help and let her know her
Speaker 1: grand baby. But he's also been throwing a little slide
Speaker 1: comments like you're so good at this, you'd make a
Speaker 1: great housewife. It rubbed me the wrong way sometimes, but
Speaker 1: I usually push these thoughts away because well and infant
Speaker 1: takes up a lot of attention. So I told him
Speaker 1: that I wanted to go back to work when our
Speaker 1: daughter gets to first grade, and that he made the
Speaker 1: space and said sounds great. No enthusiasm in his voice,
Speaker 1: no questions about where I wanted to start or what
Speaker 1: he could do to help me find something. I felt
Speaker 1: so unsupported that I think it started to affect our relationship.
Speaker 1: I brought up starting as an adjunct professor at the
Speaker 1: local community college, and he said wouldn't next year be better,
Speaker 1: with no explation as to why. So when I ended
Speaker 1: up getting an opportunity to interview for a tenure track
Speaker 1: position at a private university about an hour away, I
Speaker 1: jumped at it. I guess I thought that I wouldn't
Speaker 1: get it and it would be just be nice to
Speaker 1: I don't know try, but they want me to start
Speaker 1: next semester and I'm a little stuck. Do I tell
Speaker 1: my husband and possibly deal with whatever sexist crap he's
Speaker 1: been stewing in, or do I earned down this and
Speaker 1: try to start my professional life from a place of honesty.
Speaker 1: Please help me down who first. You're gonna have to
Speaker 1: tell your husband? Uh? Communication is key, okay, miss Um.
Speaker 1: I want to live my life on purpose and for
Speaker 1: a purpose on the side of my family. I think
Speaker 1: this is great that um, that you have an identity,
Speaker 1: and I think that's first and foremost. Do not feel
Speaker 1: guilty about wanting more for your life. Do not feel
Speaker 1: guilty about creating your own neglis about your whole moment um.
Speaker 1: The one thing that I do feel that you should
Speaker 1: feel guilty about, or something that I really need some work,
Speaker 1: is that there is a lot of miscommunication in this relationship,
Speaker 1: or perhaps probably not enough. And it seems as though
Speaker 1: it started at you know, uh, from the get go.
Speaker 1: I mean, you guys had got into this relationship, and
Speaker 1: you guys know that you guys are both career driven.
Speaker 1: I mean you said it yourself, you said, my husband
Speaker 1: and I are both high achieving. And here's the thing
Speaker 1: I feel like with women, we always when we want
Speaker 1: to do the balance of many of us or some
Speaker 1: of us want to have children and have the career
Speaker 1: and have the family. But there comes a balance, there
Speaker 1: comes a communication and just what so many things changing
Speaker 1: right now? The whole standard household is not a thing now.
Speaker 1: The thing that's so alarming, and it screams out, I
Speaker 1: want to go ahead over this. You said you just
Speaker 1: aced an interview of a job of your dreams. Y'all
Speaker 1: know how I feel about dreams. You know how I
Speaker 1: feel like you gotta go after your dreams with a
Speaker 1: clear eye view. That's what Meek Mills said. He said,
Speaker 1: if you wanted, you got to see it with the
Speaker 1: clear eyed view. Okay, so here you you saw that,
Speaker 1: and you saw this job, and you did an excellent
Speaker 1: job at this interview. Then I guess what just blew
Speaker 1: me is because I'm thinking you're writing this let and
Speaker 1: you're saying you're this high achieving woman, Um, you're ready
Speaker 1: to be to love on yourself, to get out there
Speaker 1: with your family. Um, you've aised this job. And then
Speaker 1: at the end of the letter you go on to say, um,
Speaker 1: I didn't tell my husband though, should you turn down
Speaker 1: this opportunity? What what you said? You? No? I found it?
Speaker 1: Do I tell my husband? And possibly deal with whatever
Speaker 1: sexist crapt he's doing in or do I turn down
Speaker 1: this opportunity? Do you know that you missed one percent
Speaker 1: of the shots that you do not take? And are
Speaker 1: you willing to risk this even when it comes to
Speaker 1: your dreams? Now, one thing that I don't think that
Speaker 1: is good is just to go up and not have
Speaker 1: this communication with your husband. But I do think it's
Speaker 1: important to you adhere to what do you want for yourself?
Speaker 1: Because you said you've been at to stay at home
Speaker 1: mom for six years. Okay, you said that you came
Speaker 1: into the marriage thinking that wherever children you had and
Speaker 1: they started going to school, that you would start working again.
Speaker 1: Now you came into the marriage and with what point
Speaker 1: did you realize that that he did not have that
Speaker 1: same mindset. It's interesting thing because I do think that
Speaker 1: people change, but that's with a miscommunication of some sort.
Speaker 1: Because how did you guys both go into high achieving
Speaker 1: then once you have a child. You know, I don't
Speaker 1: think it's like a switch when you just cut off
Speaker 1: and go. But for whatever reason, he is not on
Speaker 1: the same page. And you said to yourself, you said, um,
Speaker 1: you had your beautiful baby girl and you love for
Speaker 1: the past five years being able to see her grow.
Speaker 1: But mama got to get her groove back in the workforce.
Speaker 1: You said you also missed the classroom and being able
Speaker 1: to do research. You know, one thing that I feel
Speaker 1: like a lot of women say is that don't forget
Speaker 1: about yourself and whether you're a woman, whether you're a man,
Speaker 1: you have to learn to love them yourself. I have recently.
Speaker 1: I was just talking about how it's important to tap in,
Speaker 1: how it's important to adhere to your dreams and your desires,
Speaker 1: and how it's important to celebrate yourself. Just as though
Speaker 1: you may go to the doctor if you're not feeling good,
Speaker 1: you need to go and aid yourself in celebratory activities
Speaker 1: when you do have an achievement, because that's a part
Speaker 1: of self care, that's a part of self love. Now
Speaker 1: you said that, um, now the baby is getting back
Speaker 1: too ready to go back to go in school. So
Speaker 1: you took the initiative to go ahead and check out
Speaker 1: a job position. Now you didn't tell your husband. Now,
Speaker 1: I don't think that's too guilty, because you didn't know
Speaker 1: how it was gonna go. You were just out there
Speaker 1: just checking in just to feel of what's going to do.
Speaker 1: But I can understand why you probably have some reservations
Speaker 1: because you have said that. He's also been throwing a
Speaker 1: lot of the slight comments, you know, just initiating or
Speaker 1: just to make sure that you understand what he's said.
Speaker 1: He said, you're so good at this. You make a
Speaker 1: great housewife. Now here's one thing you said earlier that
Speaker 1: you guys in the marriage. You came in thinking it
Speaker 1: was one thing was the other. Because it's a miscommunication.
Speaker 1: He is making it very clear what this deal is.
Speaker 1: He sees you as a good wife, a good housewife,
Speaker 1: and mom to your children at home. I have to
Speaker 1: challenge you because I'm wondering, at what point are you
Speaker 1: gonna speak up. I'm not saying that you have to
Speaker 1: push your dreams to the side, but when are you
Speaker 1: going to find your voice? Because I've said this before.
Speaker 1: How you do anything, it's how you do everything. So
Speaker 1: at what point are you going to make it a
Speaker 1: point to make yourself a point to speak up for yourself? Okay, now,
Speaker 1: you did say you you wanted to go back to work.
Speaker 1: I just imagine this probably like a little not a roar,
Speaker 1: but just like a meal. You said oh, I want
Speaker 1: to go back to work when our daughter gets the
Speaker 1: first grade. And he made this face and said, sounds great, honey,
Speaker 1: no enthusiasm. So you really didn't know how to read it,
Speaker 1: and you didn't use on your lovel and you're in
Speaker 1: a communication to say, hey, what do you mean by that?
Speaker 1: That is a very important sentence phrase that I think
Speaker 1: a lot of people should um adopt because I think
Speaker 1: it helps, you know, flush out miscommunication with people, because
Speaker 1: oftentimes you can be in a situation and you just
Speaker 1: get mad or take something out of contact and all
Speaker 1: you have to say is what did you mean by that?
Speaker 1: Or what do you mean by that? You said? Immediately
Speaker 1: at this point I felt so unsupported that I think
Speaker 1: it started to affect our relationship. Oh oh, you're letting
Speaker 1: your miscommunication or lack there of communication now in fact,
Speaker 1: your home. Now you know what I love? They say
Speaker 1: home is what the heart is. You know you Nesta
Speaker 1: would love, But it's also your your realm of peace.
Speaker 1: So what you're gonna go out there with your dreams
Speaker 1: and come back to a house of hell because you
Speaker 1: haven't learned how to communicate, let alone what happens when
Speaker 1: your boss comes in for something when you say you
Speaker 1: want to go after this job position and they said, well,
Speaker 1: you have a baby, I don't think that's a good thing.
Speaker 1: Or oh, you make good at just staying like a
Speaker 1: secretary assistant. I know you're going for a professor, but
Speaker 1: I'm just saying, just keeping it in mind. What if
Speaker 1: you want to go to be a dean of a department,
Speaker 1: you have to be able to exercise your voice. At
Speaker 1: what point are you going to choose to speak up?
Speaker 1: Now you're going to say that you brought up starting
Speaker 1: as an adjunct professor at the local community college, and
Speaker 1: he said, what it next year? Be better again. Now
Speaker 1: I'm starting to think the music communication maybe on your end,
Speaker 1: because um, you said that you came in thinking that
Speaker 1: this marriage, uh, with whatever children that you guys had
Speaker 1: once they started going to school, that you were going
Speaker 1: to go back to school. But he seems to make
Speaker 1: it very clear he likes you right and on good.
Speaker 1: Ready where you are? Okay? And now we're the point
Speaker 1: that you're talking about possibly letting your dreams go to
Speaker 1: the wayside, So you're gonna let somebody hush you and
Speaker 1: muffle you. I think that you need to go ahead
Speaker 1: and tell your husband, this is a moment for you
Speaker 1: to be upfront and honest, to declare your voice, even
Speaker 1: if your voice shakes, you know, because it's like this,
Speaker 1: If you don't stand for something in life, you will
Speaker 1: fall for anything. And I don't think that your dreams
Speaker 1: should be your downfall. Your dreams apposed to rise you up.
Speaker 1: Now it's interesting that you did. Guys just say about
Speaker 1: start arting with your daughter the following year, but they're
Speaker 1: trying to get you to start next semester. That's a
Speaker 1: level of consideration because you gotta plan childcare. You gotta
Speaker 1: It's just a lot of adjustment and a lot of
Speaker 1: moving parts. And I think that now that your adjustments
Speaker 1: to your movements can't no longer just work or what
Speaker 1: life was like prior to this what how many years?
Speaker 1: Six years with your baby girl, that now you have
Speaker 1: another being to think about. It's not just you and
Speaker 1: him that you can bounce, and you gotta communicate because
Speaker 1: if it's not in this area, there's gonna be so
Speaker 1: many other areas of your life. And as you're having
Speaker 1: your family, who knows however many other children. I know
Speaker 1: you're like don chill, I told you I just cut
Speaker 1: my freedom papers. What I'm just saying, anything else that
Speaker 1: you're inviting in your life, you gotta make room for
Speaker 1: with communication to the line how things are gonna work,
Speaker 1: what are your expectations are, Because you said that there's
Speaker 1: a miscommunication, but it sounds like there may be a
Speaker 1: lack there of communication on your end. It don't sound
Speaker 1: like it. That's what he is, because he made it
Speaker 1: clear you are good at this, You make a great housewife.
Speaker 1: Wouldn't next year be better? And then what you're gonna
Speaker 1: put on the next year and the next year and
Speaker 1: the next year after ye? So yeah, I think you
Speaker 1: should go ahead and tell them No. I don't think
Speaker 1: you should just drop this perfect opportunity because maybe in
Speaker 1: this conversation, maybe your husband can see you for who
Speaker 1: you are right now now who he thought you were,
Speaker 1: but who you are at your core, and you are
Speaker 1: a woman who likes to work, and you are a
Speaker 1: woman who likes to go after your dreams. Because what
Speaker 1: you're gonna sit there and turn it down and then
Speaker 1: being happy, then you're gonna go home resenting. Then you're
Speaker 1: gonna have a whole other field of problems because now
Speaker 1: your daughter is observing this relationship and now there's gonna
Speaker 1: be trouble that. You see how it's just like a
Speaker 1: calloust and they just keep pushing hard stuff on the
Speaker 1: hard stuff. That's what callousis too. They just they just
Speaker 1: pack stuff on top and it just makes a mole
Speaker 1: hill into a mountain. You know? Do you hear me?
Speaker 1: So I tell your husband and tell him because he
Speaker 1: deserves to know. But say it because you deserve to
Speaker 1: hear your voice. And do it even if your your
Speaker 1: your voice shakes. Okay, speak up for yourself? What what?
Speaker 1: What exc say? Check yourself before you wreck yourself? Okay, Okay,
Speaker 1: I love you and I think you're important. Thank you
Speaker 1: for being transparent, Thank you for writing in And if
Speaker 1: any other career oriented women out there who have been
Speaker 1: able or who are balancing the husband, the children and family,
Speaker 1: what advice do you have? What did you do? I'm
Speaker 1: sure you know things may have justed, but you're still
Speaker 1: reciting in who you are because you're gonna be who
Speaker 1: you be. Okay, Well if you like that, UM, I
Speaker 1: want to encourage you if you have some more advice.
Speaker 1: So you have some questions about relationships, career, family, UM,
Speaker 1: email me Vitamin D at Dawn Day Speaks dot com
Speaker 1: and I'd love to give you my advice, love to
Speaker 1: share some insighters on just what I think. Okay, Also,
Speaker 1: we're working on getting our subscribers up. Did you enjoy
Speaker 1: the podcast? Have you been enjoying the podcast? If so,
Speaker 1: tell your friends to tell your friend, to tell your
Speaker 1: friend and them and some more about vitamin D with
Speaker 1: Dawn Day. We're expanding, we're growing, we're building, and we've
Speaker 1: got to get our subscriber base of UM. I forgot
Speaker 1: to announce it, but we've hit a year. We started
Speaker 1: in June June, so thank you who I probably shouldn't
Speaker 1: do a separate episode of that, but hey, we're gonna
Speaker 1: keep going because there's no stopping now, So tell them
Speaker 1: so they can subscribe. And then also, if you've been
Speaker 1: checking out some of the quick doses, if you've been
Speaker 1: checking out some of the interviews, I want to encourage
Speaker 1: you to head over to the YouTube channel at Dawn
Speaker 1: Day Speaks. Yes, great interviews up there, kier Anthony Hamilton's
Speaker 1: Lyric Cross, Purvis Taylor, Major Um, Timothy Snell, Latife, my trainer,
Speaker 1: so many people, Violet Palmer, who is coming on the
Speaker 1: show again, but just so much more where you can
Speaker 1: get inspired and detained and feel informed. Okay, so check
Speaker 1: the it out. Also, one last thing, if you can
Speaker 1: get enough of me, Dawn Day Hey and was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I want some more inspiration motivation in my life. I
Speaker 1: want to encourage you to follow me Dawn Day on
Speaker 1: all social media at Dawn day Speaks. Check out my
Speaker 1: ent prob, check out my voiceovers, check out the podcast
Speaker 1: All Things Are to Day and what I got going on.
Speaker 1: I love to have you, Okay, so um, make today great,
Speaker 1: be amazing, make the decision to live your life on
Speaker 1: purpose and for purpose, and until next time, I want
Speaker 1: you to always remember that you are your greatest asside