WEBVTT - Navigating the Dating World as a Single Mother 0:00:02.680 --> 0:00:07.040 That's right, it's your girl. Welcome to my show. I 0:00:07.080 --> 0:00:10.200 am so glad that you guys are back to Exactly Amada, 0:00:10.280 --> 0:00:13.280 a production of I Heart And by the way, don't 0:00:13.280 --> 0:00:16.479 forget to give us those five stars. Subscribe to the 0:00:16.520 --> 0:00:22.560 podcast and to my YouTube channel of course, so you 0:00:22.560 --> 0:00:25.119 can see everything that's happening, and you can actually, you know, 0:00:25.200 --> 0:00:28.840 revisit and go recheck out our episodes, every episode every 0:00:28.920 --> 0:00:31.800 week of Exactly Ama. Just go search it up on 0:00:31.800 --> 0:00:35.519 the YouTube. I honestly can do these shows with the 0:00:35.560 --> 0:00:38.040 same energy and the same vibe if I don't have 0:00:38.120 --> 0:00:41.680 my team with me. And that's why today I want 0:00:42.040 --> 0:00:53.600 Arlene and Alex to join me. Today. I want to 0:00:53.640 --> 0:00:56.200 talk about something that hits home for me, and it's 0:00:56.280 --> 0:00:58.520 you know, now that I'm a single mom, you know, 0:00:58.640 --> 0:01:02.920 single mom life finding love again, going out on dates 0:01:02.920 --> 0:01:05.280 and who to date and where to go to find 0:01:05.319 --> 0:01:08.200 that perfect match. And you know, like I've had so 0:01:08.280 --> 0:01:12.000 many of my own personal experiences when it comes to dating, Okay, 0:01:12.040 --> 0:01:14.600 I definitely don't know how to pick them. I am 0:01:14.640 --> 0:01:17.240 the worst one when it comes to picking men. I 0:01:17.280 --> 0:01:19.720 don't do well. I will say this much. I give 0:01:19.760 --> 0:01:22.680 them all credit because I've been happy, bet or at 0:01:22.720 --> 0:01:26.160 the end. Okay, I'm not really good at it. I've 0:01:26.160 --> 0:01:28.040 seen these people that they find someone and they stick 0:01:28.040 --> 0:01:29.800 to them for like, oh we've been together like twenty years. 0:01:29.840 --> 0:01:32.200 I'm like corn, you bet, I haven't been able to 0:01:32.200 --> 0:01:34.600 figure I haven't ever been I haven't been able to 0:01:34.640 --> 0:01:37.440 figure it out. So today I just wanted to, you know, 0:01:37.480 --> 0:01:41.360 talk about that, because you know, it's a little bit 0:01:41.360 --> 0:01:44.840 hard dating as a single mother and just dating, you know, 0:01:45.040 --> 0:01:48.320 before things have changed. Now I got to think about 0:01:48.360 --> 0:01:52.480 you know, my kids, are my kids gonna like them? 0:01:52.600 --> 0:01:54.560 You know? Are you a pervert? Because I got two 0:01:54.600 --> 0:01:57.920 little girls? Are you a pervert? What's that biggest difference 0:01:57.920 --> 0:02:01.080 Amada from like when you were looking for someone before 0:02:01.080 --> 0:02:04.160 you had kids. Now. I mean, I'm sure you were 0:02:04.160 --> 0:02:06.720 trying to find a stable relationship back then, but is 0:02:06.720 --> 0:02:09.480 it more important? Yeah, you know you're dating when you're 0:02:09.480 --> 0:02:12.360 in your twenties and your mom fun. No, no, no, 0:02:13.000 --> 0:02:14.760 I've never been that girl. I've never been the games 0:02:14.880 --> 0:02:17.839 is having fun. Everybody comes stretch me out. No, I'm 0:02:17.840 --> 0:02:21.360 not that girl. I want to have a stable relationship. 0:02:21.639 --> 0:02:23.919 So I've always been like a stable relationship type of girl. 0:02:24.320 --> 0:02:26.720 But things are definitely different because now it's like I 0:02:26.720 --> 0:02:29.079 don't have time to waste. I can read the bullshit 0:02:29.120 --> 0:02:31.639 from the beginning, all the red flags I used to 0:02:31.680 --> 0:02:34.160 ignore before, I'm not ignoring them now. I see them. 0:02:34.200 --> 0:02:36.120 I hear them. I see what you're doing. You're trash. 0:02:36.240 --> 0:02:38.960 I'm out. Before I was like what I see though, 0:02:38.960 --> 0:02:42.359 I can't help him. I feel you used to feel that. Yeah, 0:02:42.440 --> 0:02:45.079 he's just going through a moment. You know, things are bad. 0:02:45.240 --> 0:02:48.760 His eggs girlfriend, let's to traumatize, you know. I was 0:02:48.880 --> 0:02:53.360 very come okay for giving out. No, see what we're 0:02:53.360 --> 0:02:55.040 trying to do, babylone, I don't want to do it. 0:02:55.080 --> 0:02:58.440 Get on my face, you know. So now it's like, 0:02:58.760 --> 0:03:00.920 if it's not something serious or commitment, I don't want 0:03:00.960 --> 0:03:02.560 to do it. If I don't see the fact that 0:03:02.600 --> 0:03:07.360 you have potential to be a stepfather to my daughters, 0:03:07.600 --> 0:03:09.560 I don't want to do it. If you're not a 0:03:09.600 --> 0:03:12.120 hard working, ambitious person, I don't want to do it. 0:03:12.440 --> 0:03:14.520 If you don't want to have a family, because that's 0:03:14.520 --> 0:03:17.120 another thing, something that's very important. Sometimes there's a lot 0:03:17.160 --> 0:03:19.160 of men that are honest and straightforward and tell you 0:03:19.160 --> 0:03:21.120 to your face. Meta mommy, I like you, but I 0:03:21.160 --> 0:03:24.200 don't want to have kids, Ela Muhanna. We're always pushing. 0:03:24.360 --> 0:03:27.400 I can change him, oh Amy. If he doesn't want 0:03:27.440 --> 0:03:28.840 to do he doesn't want to do it, you know. 0:03:28.960 --> 0:03:32.080 So it's important because later on, when you see that 0:03:32.120 --> 0:03:34.400 he doesn't treat your kids or your future children the 0:03:34.440 --> 0:03:36.200 way that you want it, you have to be like, well, 0:03:36.200 --> 0:03:37.400 he didn't want to do it in the first place. 0:03:37.440 --> 0:03:39.920 You were the one who had this ideology of what 0:03:40.120 --> 0:03:42.120 you wanted. And you have to accept people for who 0:03:42.200 --> 0:03:44.760 they are as they are, and when they show you 0:03:44.800 --> 0:03:47.760 who they are, you have to believe them like they say. So, 0:03:48.960 --> 0:03:53.840 just my standards have completely changed. What has been the 0:03:54.280 --> 0:03:56.440 thing for you in these last couple months? Have you 0:03:56.480 --> 0:03:59.560 been seeing anyone talking twenty one? How hard has that been? 0:03:59.680 --> 0:04:02.280 Are you up front? And obviously you're you're a person 0:04:02.320 --> 0:04:05.000 that's in the public eye, so people know you have daughters. 0:04:05.600 --> 0:04:08.040 But if a lot of guys believe it or not, 0:04:08.160 --> 0:04:11.560 we're not on Instagram, We're not on you know, out there, 0:04:11.640 --> 0:04:16.560 you know, looking for stuff. And there's a guy of guys. 0:04:16.640 --> 0:04:18.800 There is a lot of guys who are only on 0:04:18.839 --> 0:04:21.960 Instagram to chill whatever. You know, you have the f 0:04:22.120 --> 0:04:30.080 boys who are on Instagram. Red fag. I have Instagram, 0:04:30.120 --> 0:04:32.880 but I use it to basically talk about the things 0:04:32.920 --> 0:04:36.720 I do in the business, in the industry. I'm not 0:04:36.760 --> 0:04:40.800 in there like looking at us, you know what, I'll no, no, 0:04:41.279 --> 0:04:44.080 don't fuck it. As soon as you find a guy 0:04:44.080 --> 0:04:46.040 and he's like, You're like, oh, babe, so what's your Instagram? 0:04:46.040 --> 0:04:48.400 Oh I don't have Instagram. He's like, he's got an 0:04:48.440 --> 0:04:51.800 undercover Instagram. He has an under pitch. That's because he 0:04:51.839 --> 0:04:54.240 has his whole girlfriend, he has his whole fucking three 0:04:54.320 --> 0:04:56.560 four kids on the side. Don't believe it. You know, 0:04:56.640 --> 0:04:58.560 I'm so focused in my work, you know I don't. 0:04:58.760 --> 0:05:01.479 I don't use social media. Yeah, I indeed, red flag 0:05:01.640 --> 0:05:05.760 bow wow, Alex. He has to have a Snapchat, a 0:05:05.760 --> 0:05:08.960 bootleg Snapchat. He has to have a Facebook, he has 0:05:08.960 --> 0:05:12.680 to have Yeah, no, I have. We all all guys 0:05:12.760 --> 0:05:14.920 have social media, but it's how we use it, right, 0:05:14.960 --> 0:05:18.880 that that really separates us. Correct. So you're right, we 0:05:18.920 --> 0:05:20.920 all have social media, but it's how you You only 0:05:20.960 --> 0:05:23.839 use your Instagram for business. You've seen me, you follow me, 0:05:23.880 --> 0:05:26.280 You saw I posted a picture of this. I'm doing 0:05:26.279 --> 0:05:30.600 a convention. That's another red flag that's another red flag. Girls. 0:05:30.640 --> 0:05:32.719 If you follow a guy that you're dating, you like, 0:05:32.960 --> 0:05:34.520 and you look at the people that he follows, and 0:05:34.560 --> 0:05:38.360 then he only follows decame man and businesses, it's a trap. 0:05:38.800 --> 0:05:41.679 There's a trap. He's lying. Oh my god, he's probably 0:05:41.720 --> 0:05:43.359 dming them and he's not following them. So that you 0:05:43.360 --> 0:05:45.520 don't fuel suspicions. I know that game. Don't do this. 0:05:45.680 --> 0:05:47.960 There are social media school for men who are trying 0:05:47.960 --> 0:05:52.800 to like put up a front. Don't follow people like this. Alex, Yes, 0:05:52.880 --> 0:05:56.359 there's no way, Alex. You've heard it here. First the 0:05:56.560 --> 0:06:00.400 very first thirst trap Instagram I've ever followed, it was 0:06:01.680 --> 0:06:05.960 I want to put that out there publicly everyone. Are 0:06:05.960 --> 0:06:09.800 you using Are you using social media to find dates 0:06:09.800 --> 0:06:13.880 and to find potential candidate? I'm gonna be honest. I'm 0:06:13.880 --> 0:06:15.560 gonna be honest. My mom said that I shouldn't be 0:06:15.640 --> 0:06:17.520 like that. You assume me home and get me no 0:06:17.640 --> 0:06:22.320 pull up. And but after my last relationship, I have 0:06:22.400 --> 0:06:25.640 been traumatized. I haven't gone out on any dates. Um, 0:06:25.680 --> 0:06:28.280 there was someone that was pursuing me and I and 0:06:28.360 --> 0:06:30.400 I gave him like the time of day for like 0:06:30.720 --> 0:06:33.640 I don't know, maybe for like four days and the moment. 0:06:33.680 --> 0:06:34.919 First of all, I didn't even like him like that. 0:06:34.960 --> 0:06:36.480 I just didn't. I was just trying to give myself 0:06:36.520 --> 0:06:38.800 some time, because you know, it feels nice to be 0:06:38.920 --> 0:06:41.320 liked for someone to just be like, oh, lean, a 0:06:41.360 --> 0:06:43.440 good morning text, he goes. But then I was just 0:06:43.520 --> 0:06:45.200 like A, I don't want to do it. No, I 0:06:45.200 --> 0:06:49.840 don't want to do it. I just then milo of 0:06:49.839 --> 0:06:53.120 actually liking someone and getting screwed over again. I just 0:06:53.200 --> 0:06:56.679 want to focus on my kids, my business, my career. Um, 0:06:57.000 --> 0:06:59.320 I have my kids and I haven't had any you know, 0:06:59.360 --> 0:07:01.600 I haven't had no sex. I haven't had no sex 0:07:01.680 --> 0:07:04.960 since my ex and the last time we did it, 0:07:05.000 --> 0:07:06.760 my girls were like three months or something like that. 0:07:07.200 --> 0:07:10.800 And yeah, like you know, it's it's done. I Um, 0:07:10.840 --> 0:07:12.840 I'm not ready. It's difficult. I'm not reading. I think 0:07:12.840 --> 0:07:15.880 it's I think it's important. I think it's important when 0:07:15.880 --> 0:07:19.160 you finish a relationship to take time for yourself. That's 0:07:19.160 --> 0:07:21.360 been one of my biggest mistakes. I've ended up one 0:07:21.400 --> 0:07:25.800 relationship and I jump off. I've just jumped into another 0:07:25.840 --> 0:07:28.000 relationship and I'm like, oh, that's gonna make me feel better, 0:07:28.160 --> 0:07:30.920 and it doesn't. You need some time to heal, to 0:07:31.200 --> 0:07:34.800 know your worth, to know your standards, to know exactly 0:07:34.880 --> 0:07:38.480 what it is that you want. But I can as 0:07:38.520 --> 0:07:42.000 your way. So I'm just taking that time for myself now. 0:07:42.480 --> 0:07:46.520 And I would imagine that now that that you're the 0:07:46.520 --> 0:07:49.360 different priorities. You got your kids and now you know, 0:07:49.400 --> 0:07:51.440 it used to be you were single and you could 0:07:51.480 --> 0:07:53.320 make time to go out and to stay up all 0:07:53.400 --> 0:07:55.360 night and to stay over and not do you know, 0:07:56.560 --> 0:07:58.960 well not really because my mom my mom gets you know, 0:07:59.080 --> 0:08:01.120 takes care of my girl girls. And my mom is 0:08:01.160 --> 0:08:12.360 like trying to find a person. So she's like she 0:08:12.400 --> 0:08:18.360 always encourages me. Bet Look, I don't know. I just 0:08:18.400 --> 0:08:21.520 have really high standards now, you know, um one of 0:08:21.560 --> 0:08:24.120 my biggest mistakes. And ladies, I know you're out there, 0:08:24.160 --> 0:08:26.320 I know you can relate. A lot of us are fixers. 0:08:26.360 --> 0:08:28.880 I'm a fixer. Well I used to be a fixer. 0:08:28.960 --> 0:08:31.640 I no longer. I'm a fixer. Fixer means you'll find 0:08:31.760 --> 0:08:36.760 broken men and you are trying to fix them, like, oh, 0:08:36.800 --> 0:08:39.080 you know, he's a cheater, he's a this, he's a 0:08:39.120 --> 0:08:41.280 drug addict. He's like, hey, whatever it is. He just 0:08:41.320 --> 0:08:43.640 came out of jail. And you're like, Oh, I love you, 0:08:44.040 --> 0:08:46.320 You're the one for me. I can fix you, let 0:08:46.360 --> 0:08:48.520 me clean you up, let me change your wardrobe. It's 0:08:48.520 --> 0:08:51.199 like a project, you know, let me find you. You 0:08:51.240 --> 0:08:52.920 ain't got no job and you haven't worked in the 0:08:52.920 --> 0:08:55.840 past five years, but I don't worry. I'm gonna maintain you. 0:08:55.920 --> 0:08:58.920 To you, I can get you a job, and it's like, no, mommy, listen, 0:08:59.600 --> 0:09:01.959 you have to find people that are up to your standards, 0:09:02.040 --> 0:09:04.679 get monival in order for things to work, either your 0:09:04.800 --> 0:09:07.480 level or better. But you can be out here looking 0:09:07.480 --> 0:09:12.040 for people that don't know what they wanted. That's just 0:09:12.400 --> 0:09:16.600 straight to disaster. So I'm just choosing and picking a 0:09:16.600 --> 0:09:27.079 little bit more wisely this time around. By picking a 0:09:27.120 --> 0:09:30.480 little wisely and looking into the future of what you 0:09:30.520 --> 0:09:34.880 want to set yourself success in a relationship as as 0:09:34.880 --> 0:09:38.800 a mom newly single mom in the after you had 0:09:38.880 --> 0:09:41.920 your little fling with your ex when they were you know, younger, 0:09:41.960 --> 0:09:44.280 the babies were three months old, Like you mentioned before, 0:09:44.640 --> 0:09:49.280 has there been anybody like any steps that you've made 0:09:49.880 --> 0:09:54.839 to find um a specific partner or to even talk 0:09:54.960 --> 0:09:57.400 to someone, and how do you go about it? Then? 0:09:57.520 --> 0:09:59.520 Because you, like I was mentioning before, is that you're 0:09:59.520 --> 0:10:01.960 in the public guy, so people know you have kids. 0:10:02.440 --> 0:10:05.880 Let's say, are you still putting it out there? Like, hey, listen, 0:10:06.000 --> 0:10:08.120 I don't mind talking to you, but I do have 0:10:08.160 --> 0:10:10.760 a priority. I have these two daughters, da da What 0:10:10.840 --> 0:10:15.520 do you how do you go about that? See, I 0:10:15.559 --> 0:10:17.760 am a mother first and then I am a woman. 0:10:17.880 --> 0:10:21.160 So my kids are a priority. If you don't like it, 0:10:21.200 --> 0:10:23.120 if you don't like it, if we're on a date 0:10:23.200 --> 0:10:25.439 and you know I have to go see my kids, 0:10:25.480 --> 0:10:27.280 if we're here today and I have to take a 0:10:27.280 --> 0:10:30.360 flight to see my kids, blah blah. Listen. Uh, you know, 0:10:30.600 --> 0:10:32.560 if you like me, you should understand and you should 0:10:32.559 --> 0:10:35.199 be actually grateful to see that I'm such a good mother. 0:10:35.200 --> 0:10:36.760 Because if I'm a good mother, you'll know that I 0:10:36.720 --> 0:10:38.559 would be a good wife, I'll be a good daughter, 0:10:38.600 --> 0:10:43.520 I'll be a good friend, I'll be many good things. Um, 0:10:43.960 --> 0:10:47.320 you know that's just the worst to me. So yeah, 0:10:47.360 --> 0:10:49.640 I always put it up front. Listen, Um, I have kids. 0:10:49.760 --> 0:10:51.920 They're my priority. I am in love with my kids. 0:10:51.960 --> 0:10:53.920 I am in and it's not just my kid, it's 0:10:53.960 --> 0:10:56.120 my mother. My mother is my first child, that's my 0:10:56.160 --> 0:10:58.880 oldest daughter. And then I got two newborns, So if 0:10:58.920 --> 0:11:01.240 you could stick with it, I'm down. It's buy one, 0:11:01.320 --> 0:11:03.600 get three free and not not really because they come 0:11:03.600 --> 0:11:07.720 out really expensive, so it's it's a combo deal. And 0:11:08.880 --> 0:11:11.480 I do. I will say this much. I haven't been 0:11:11.520 --> 0:11:15.079 on a date since I end up my last relationship. 0:11:15.440 --> 0:11:20.920 I have been on certain dating apps like Rya and 0:11:21.720 --> 0:11:25.200 um I do. I have found that I'd like to, 0:11:25.360 --> 0:11:27.960 you know, to just send messages back and forth, like 0:11:28.280 --> 0:11:30.960 I like to feel that I'm liked. It doesn't mean 0:11:31.000 --> 0:11:32.800 I'm gonna do anything. I don't even know where you live. 0:11:32.800 --> 0:11:34.960 I don't know who you are. Battle it's just like, 0:11:34.960 --> 0:11:38.200 oh my god, oh my god, really think you are 0:11:38.520 --> 0:11:41.720 doesn't hurt you? You know, a little barty better? Yeah, 0:11:41.760 --> 0:11:43.280 that's it. The moment's like, oh yeah, I would, let's 0:11:43.280 --> 0:11:44.480 meet up so I can stick it to you. I'm 0:11:44.520 --> 0:11:47.239 app I don't want to do it. What's the clientele 0:11:47.320 --> 0:11:51.040 like on Rya? What's the I'm on mita high classic 0:11:51.120 --> 0:11:54.960 bog we ware to say app. I think the the 0:11:55.040 --> 0:11:57.120 Rya you have to get approved is not that get 0:11:57.160 --> 0:11:59.480 like that. You have to get approved, the background checking, 0:11:59.520 --> 0:12:04.640 the line, and it's mainly for people in the entertainment industry. UM, 0:12:04.840 --> 0:12:07.320 whether it is that you're an athlete, you're an artist, 0:12:07.400 --> 0:12:11.520 your producer, your engineer, you're UM, whatever it may be. 0:12:11.679 --> 0:12:14.280 There's a lot of entrepreneurs on this app as well, 0:12:14.520 --> 0:12:16.880 and like because you can also go to their Instagram 0:12:16.960 --> 0:12:19.480 right there and verify if you're full of crap or 0:12:19.520 --> 0:12:22.040 this is really what you do. UM, I've met great 0:12:22.040 --> 0:12:26.400 people through there and just through just to talking better. 0:12:26.920 --> 0:12:29.600 Is it even good for networking? So it's been actually good? 0:12:30.040 --> 0:12:34.040 Do you do you feel like like this and you've 0:12:34.200 --> 0:12:36.760 you've done the I don't need to be on a 0:12:36.840 --> 0:12:39.600 dating site or dating app to find a date. Do 0:12:39.640 --> 0:12:43.760 you feel like it's a lot easier for you as 0:12:43.800 --> 0:12:47.520 a single mom to meet people. Is it safer for 0:12:47.520 --> 0:12:49.480 you to meet people through these apps or whatever, or 0:12:49.720 --> 0:12:51.400 or do you feel like you still need that connection 0:12:51.400 --> 0:12:54.360 where if you go out you might bump into someone 0:12:54.559 --> 0:12:58.840 or flirt with someone. Yeah, the app, the app, the app, 0:12:59.640 --> 0:13:02.199 you just with people in face to face in general, 0:13:02.320 --> 0:13:04.680 and you prefer to meet them afterwards after you've done 0:13:04.679 --> 0:13:08.760 your inspections. If I see you in person and there's 0:13:08.760 --> 0:13:12.160 a vibe and there's a clique, I'm in I love it. Cool. 0:13:12.480 --> 0:13:14.600 But if I can meet you online, I'd rather it. 0:13:14.600 --> 0:13:16.560 I'm gonna tell you why. It gives me an opportunity 0:13:16.559 --> 0:13:18.720 to not waste my time in person. I can talk 0:13:18.760 --> 0:13:20.600 to you through messages to see if I like you, 0:13:20.600 --> 0:13:23.160 your vibe, if we have an understanding too. I also 0:13:23.200 --> 0:13:25.880 get the opportunity of doing my research on your social media, 0:13:25.960 --> 0:13:28.240 for example, do you have a baby mom? Do you 0:13:28.240 --> 0:13:30.000 have a girlfriend, dadda? Who are you texting? Who are 0:13:30.040 --> 0:13:32.520 you liking? Are you commenting? Who's this like? It gives 0:13:32.520 --> 0:13:34.600 me a chance to figure out what's going on and 0:13:34.720 --> 0:13:37.920 if you have approved. If I've approved and you pass 0:13:38.040 --> 0:13:41.040 all these standards, this is like, what is a fear 0:13:41.080 --> 0:13:44.080 factor if you If you pass all of this and 0:13:44.160 --> 0:13:46.160 those say I'll go on a date with Wow, you 0:13:46.200 --> 0:13:48.120 do get a but let me tample unless I'm hungry. 0:13:48.120 --> 0:13:49.679 If I'm hungry, I'm like, oh my god, yes, let's 0:13:49.679 --> 0:13:51.000 go out. I'm gonna eat. I'm a drink. I'm not 0:13:51.000 --> 0:13:54.560 gonna call you again. Besides that, it's like, should you 0:13:54.559 --> 0:13:56.640 know how I know how you have your lady segment? 0:13:56.720 --> 0:13:59.800 You know what, while I'm here, I'm gonna have gentlemen segment. 0:14:00.160 --> 0:14:07.480 Listening to this, These are the red flags. If you're listens, Yeah, 0:14:07.480 --> 0:14:09.240 she's gonna take it. She's gonna she wants to go 0:14:09.240 --> 0:14:12.760 to a really expensive bougie restaurant that she's never been to. Okay, 0:14:12.760 --> 0:14:16.240 she's gonna go. She's gonna eat, she's gonna have appetizers, drinks, 0:14:17.760 --> 0:14:21.920 and then she's gonna be out. Wow, it's over. No, 0:14:22.080 --> 0:14:25.560 I'm not listen. You had my company. We got to talk. 0:14:25.640 --> 0:14:28.600 You got to me. Listen. Men make more money than women. 0:14:28.640 --> 0:14:33.160 They should be taking us out, and I just ladies, 0:14:33.520 --> 0:14:37.080 not how you balance it out. For the most part, 0:14:37.120 --> 0:14:38.920 when they see you, they go over there with a 0:14:39.000 --> 0:14:41.720 mission and their goal. Their goal is to pursue you 0:14:42.680 --> 0:14:45.160 and persuade you so they can figure out a way 0:14:45.200 --> 0:14:47.040 how to stick it to you. So you're just paying 0:14:47.080 --> 0:14:57.800 the game. Mamma learned to play the game. Take pictures 0:14:57.800 --> 0:15:00.000 and videos of everything, but don't take pictures of him. 0:15:00.000 --> 0:15:02.240 I posted a liber best. Is this the new advice? 0:15:02.320 --> 0:15:04.360 Is this the advice for new mothers out there who 0:15:04.360 --> 0:15:06.960 are seeking to date ladies and gentlemen? You herd to 0:15:07.040 --> 0:15:09.760 hear live on Amada. First, she's giving you the rundown 0:15:09.760 --> 0:15:11.720 on how to do it. Here's the here's the template 0:15:11.760 --> 0:15:15.480 on the game plan. Listen, Amata's dating rya category style. 0:15:15.560 --> 0:15:17.960 I don't think most of us are dating RYA's style, 0:15:18.240 --> 0:15:20.440 that's true, but you know what I listen. A lot 0:15:20.480 --> 0:15:22.680 of them may be talking shit right now, but you 0:15:22.720 --> 0:15:24.720 know where I'm coming from. You know what I mean. 0:15:24.920 --> 0:15:27.000 And I'm sure there's more than one girl out there 0:15:27.040 --> 0:15:28.880 that's gone on a date with a guy just to 0:15:29.000 --> 0:15:31.720 eat and drink and never hog them again. The same thing. 0:15:31.760 --> 0:15:33.720 Guys are the same thing. They take you out, they 0:15:33.760 --> 0:15:36.479 feed you, they give you drinks, they try to smash. 0:15:36.560 --> 0:15:43.320 If they get to smash, they never call you again. Listen, listen. 0:15:44.440 --> 0:15:45.920 I learned a little too late, but it was never 0:15:45.960 --> 0:15:48.360 too late because I'm still alive. I don't know. It's 0:15:48.360 --> 0:15:52.600 a doggy dog world, I guess right. Dating in the 0:15:52.680 --> 0:15:56.280 modern world. I'm laughing and I'm talking shit, but it 0:15:56.320 --> 0:15:58.960 honestly is very trash and it's very sad, because do 0:15:59.000 --> 0:16:00.440 you think I really want to do that now? I 0:16:00.440 --> 0:16:02.000 would love to go out on a date and actually 0:16:02.080 --> 0:16:05.800 meet someone meaningful and create something from that. But as 0:16:05.840 --> 0:16:09.080 many games as men play these days, because they have 0:16:09.280 --> 0:16:12.240 they have way too many options, way too much out 0:16:12.280 --> 0:16:15.280 it's like they got they have a catalog women on Instagram. 0:16:15.280 --> 0:16:17.360 That's what social media has become, as a catalog. You 0:16:17.400 --> 0:16:19.400 pick them, you slat up in their DM, they talk 0:16:19.480 --> 0:16:21.880 to you, exchange numbers, and next thing you know, even 0:16:21.920 --> 0:16:23.320 and they're on the other side of the world. They're 0:16:23.360 --> 0:16:26.320 taking flights or you're buying flights. It's you know, what 0:16:26.520 --> 0:16:30.200 love used to be has changed. Relationships have changed the 0:16:30.200 --> 0:16:32.400 fact of being with someone and putting up with their 0:16:32.400 --> 0:16:34.520 ship and sticking it through and I'm gonna ride with 0:16:34.560 --> 0:16:35.880 you and even though I'm pissed off at you and 0:16:35.920 --> 0:16:37.480 i don't want to talk to you, go to the 0:16:37.520 --> 0:16:39.720 next room, but we're not leaving each other. Week said 0:16:39.720 --> 0:16:41.360 we're gonna do this, and this is what we're doing, 0:16:41.400 --> 0:16:44.360 and all those things have changed, and it's very hard, 0:16:44.440 --> 0:16:47.600 especially with this new generation. So well, the new generation 0:16:47.680 --> 0:16:49.720 just makes it very difficult. I'm gonna Last year, there 0:16:49.760 --> 0:16:52.560 was a poll that was taken that there's more single 0:16:52.680 --> 0:16:58.480 men now than ever before because women have higher standards 0:16:58.880 --> 0:17:01.080 because now they don't have to support of it, like 0:17:01.120 --> 0:17:03.400 they don't have to get married to, you know, have 0:17:03.480 --> 0:17:06.440 a best financially stable, they don't need a man to 0:17:06.720 --> 0:17:09.120 take care of them, and now they have more standards. 0:17:09.160 --> 0:17:19.680 What do you think about that? I think I agree 0:17:19.840 --> 0:17:22.080 to a certain example of the book all the way. 0:17:22.119 --> 0:17:23.639 You know why, because a lot of men are single 0:17:23.640 --> 0:17:25.920 because they have way too many options, Like you know 0:17:25.960 --> 0:17:28.000 what I'm saying. Yes, a lot of women have high standards, 0:17:28.040 --> 0:17:30.080 But why would I be in if I was a 0:17:30.119 --> 0:17:32.440 man with a whole piece right, and I'm sure I 0:17:32.440 --> 0:17:35.000 would have a nice wokando, if I was a man 0:17:35.160 --> 0:17:38.040 with a whole dingling, why would I be in a 0:17:38.080 --> 0:17:40.960 relationship with a girl? These girls these days, you're giving 0:17:41.000 --> 0:17:44.159 the wife thees, You're giving the wife the quality of 0:17:44.280 --> 0:17:51.000 girl at home. I need money like you do everything 0:17:51.000 --> 0:17:52.600 a wife would do. Why would I be in a 0:17:52.640 --> 0:17:54.280 relationship with you when I could be with you you 0:17:54.400 --> 0:17:58.560 you you you, And even before the in the dating 0:17:58.800 --> 0:18:02.640 in the dating aspect dating era, girls are still doing 0:18:02.680 --> 0:18:04.840 the same thing a girlfriend would do. And girlfriends are 0:18:04.840 --> 0:18:06.520 doing the things that a wife would do, So why 0:18:06.520 --> 0:18:09.120 would they feel the need to commit to you? Why? 0:18:09.359 --> 0:18:12.280 So That's why I'm like, Yeah, if I was a guy, 0:18:12.320 --> 0:18:13.920 would probably be the same do the same thing. I 0:18:13.960 --> 0:18:15.720 would just be single and day A hope. Bunch of 0:18:15.760 --> 0:18:18.320 women I have I have. I don't necessarily have to 0:18:18.520 --> 0:18:21.760 have a commitment with you. I'm not obligated to do 0:18:21.800 --> 0:18:23.720 certain things for you because you're not my wife or 0:18:23.720 --> 0:18:25.960 you're not my girlfriend. And then that's it. And then 0:18:26.000 --> 0:18:28.320 women want to feel like they got options. They want 0:18:28.320 --> 0:18:29.919 to mess with this guy, messed with the other guy, 0:18:30.000 --> 0:18:33.600 messed with the other guy from here, dinner from here, 0:18:33.640 --> 0:18:37.760 and everybody's just playing games. And I feel that people 0:18:37.880 --> 0:18:40.840 realize that they have messed up and life has changed. 0:18:40.880 --> 0:18:43.320 The older you get, the older you get, the more 0:18:43.359 --> 0:18:46.679 you realize, I've wasted these good years of my life 0:18:46.840 --> 0:18:49.880 playing around, and now I don't have my solid significant other. 0:18:50.440 --> 0:18:52.840 You know, when you're young, do they get a moon though? 0:18:52.880 --> 0:18:55.240 You just want to have fun. But a time passes by. God, 0:18:56.480 --> 0:18:58.800 you're sick, or something is really happening, something is really 0:18:58.840 --> 0:19:01.240 going down. You're going through the press, should or whatever, 0:19:01.720 --> 0:19:04.199 and you realize that you don't really have anybody to 0:19:04.240 --> 0:19:06.879 hold you down that's really gonna be there with you 0:19:06.920 --> 0:19:08.960 to the good and the bad. That's when you realize 0:19:08.960 --> 0:19:10.720 that you messed up. And I don't also want to 0:19:10.720 --> 0:19:12.760 give that. I want to say this for the girls 0:19:12.760 --> 0:19:15.800 that are listening, for the guys as well. None of 0:19:15.880 --> 0:19:18.879 us are born bad. It's always this one person that 0:19:18.960 --> 0:19:21.720 makes you bad. I know a lot of good men 0:19:21.800 --> 0:19:29.920 out there. There's been great men. Marry me him up 0:19:31.000 --> 0:19:35.680 one HOI Sacto messes them up. Yeah, now you traumatize 0:19:35.680 --> 0:19:38.240 them and now they get in bang goad with everybody else. 0:19:38.520 --> 0:19:40.399 The same thing goes for women. There's a lot of 0:19:40.480 --> 0:19:50.240 great women out there. Lament that you destroy her confidence, 0:19:50.280 --> 0:19:53.639 you cheat, you lie, you this, you that now she 0:19:53.800 --> 0:19:56.800 wants and now she's turned into a different type of woman. 0:19:57.160 --> 0:19:59.320 And now she's you know, encouraging other women to do 0:19:59.400 --> 0:20:01.080 the same. And now oh, it's a domino effect of 0:20:01.240 --> 0:20:05.080 you know, they say, they say that the person you're 0:20:05.160 --> 0:20:08.359 dating ends up suffering from the person you dated before, 0:20:08.480 --> 0:20:11.520 like the trauma that they gave you. You end up, 0:20:11.720 --> 0:20:13.639 you know, passing it on to the person you're dating, 0:20:13.720 --> 0:20:16.240 or you're taking it out on them. I've heard that expression. 0:20:17.880 --> 0:20:21.119 I have a question for you, um in In. In 0:20:21.359 --> 0:20:23.880 your line of work, you meet a lot of people. 0:20:23.960 --> 0:20:26.920 You're always out and about right, so you know you're 0:20:26.960 --> 0:20:28.960 able to give As a new mom, you're able to 0:20:28.960 --> 0:20:32.800