Speaker 1: That's right, it's your girl. Welcome to my show. I
Speaker 1: am so glad that you guys are back to Exactly Amada,
Speaker 1: a production of I Heart And by the way, don't
Speaker 1: forget to give us those five stars. Subscribe to the
Speaker 1: podcast and to my YouTube channel of course, so you
Speaker 1: can see everything that's happening, and you can actually, you know,
Speaker 1: revisit and go recheck out our episodes, every episode every
Speaker 1: week of Exactly Ama. Just go search it up on
Speaker 1: the YouTube. I honestly can do these shows with the
Speaker 1: same energy and the same vibe if I don't have
Speaker 1: my team with me. And that's why today I want
Speaker 1: Arlene and Alex to join me. Today. I want to
Speaker 1: talk about something that hits home for me, and it's
Speaker 1: you know, now that I'm a single mom, you know,
Speaker 1: single mom life finding love again, going out on dates
Speaker 1: and who to date and where to go to find
Speaker 1: that perfect match. And you know, like I've had so
Speaker 1: many of my own personal experiences when it comes to dating, Okay,
Speaker 1: I definitely don't know how to pick them. I am
Speaker 1: the worst one when it comes to picking men. I
Speaker 1: don't do well. I will say this much. I give
Speaker 1: them all credit because I've been happy, bet or at
Speaker 1: the end. Okay, I'm not really good at it. I've
Speaker 1: seen these people that they find someone and they stick
Speaker 1: to them for like, oh we've been together like twenty years.
Speaker 1: I'm like corn, you bet, I haven't been able to
Speaker 1: figure I haven't ever been I haven't been able to
Speaker 1: figure it out. So today I just wanted to, you know,
Speaker 1: talk about that, because you know, it's a little bit
Speaker 1: hard dating as a single mother and just dating, you know,
Speaker 1: before things have changed. Now I got to think about
Speaker 1: you know, my kids, are my kids gonna like them?
Speaker 1: You know? Are you a pervert? Because I got two
Speaker 1: little girls? Are you a pervert? What's that biggest difference
Speaker 1: Amada from like when you were looking for someone before
Speaker 1: you had kids. Now. I mean, I'm sure you were
Speaker 1: trying to find a stable relationship back then, but is
Speaker 1: it more important? Yeah, you know you're dating when you're
Speaker 1: in your twenties and your mom fun. No, no, no,
Speaker 1: I've never been that girl. I've never been the games
Speaker 1: is having fun. Everybody comes stretch me out. No, I'm
Speaker 1: not that girl. I want to have a stable relationship.
Speaker 1: So I've always been like a stable relationship type of girl.
Speaker 1: But things are definitely different because now it's like I
Speaker 1: don't have time to waste. I can read the bullshit
Speaker 1: from the beginning, all the red flags I used to
Speaker 1: ignore before, I'm not ignoring them now. I see them.
Speaker 1: I hear them. I see what you're doing. You're trash.
Speaker 1: I'm out. Before I was like what I see though,
Speaker 1: I can't help him. I feel you used to feel that. Yeah,
Speaker 1: he's just going through a moment. You know, things are bad.
Speaker 1: His eggs girlfriend, let's to traumatize, you know. I was
Speaker 1: very come okay for giving out. No, see what we're
Speaker 1: trying to do, babylone, I don't want to do it.
Speaker 1: Get on my face, you know. So now it's like,
Speaker 1: if it's not something serious or commitment, I don't want
Speaker 1: to do it. If I don't see the fact that
Speaker 1: you have potential to be a stepfather to my daughters,
Speaker 1: I don't want to do it. If you're not a
Speaker 1: hard working, ambitious person, I don't want to do it.
Speaker 1: If you don't want to have a family, because that's
Speaker 1: another thing, something that's very important. Sometimes there's a lot
Speaker 1: of men that are honest and straightforward and tell you
Speaker 1: to your face. Meta mommy, I like you, but I
Speaker 1: don't want to have kids, Ela Muhanna. We're always pushing.
Speaker 1: I can change him, oh Amy. If he doesn't want
Speaker 1: to do he doesn't want to do it, you know.
Speaker 1: So it's important because later on, when you see that
Speaker 1: he doesn't treat your kids or your future children the
Speaker 1: way that you want it, you have to be like, well,
Speaker 1: he didn't want to do it in the first place.
Speaker 1: You were the one who had this ideology of what
Speaker 1: you wanted. And you have to accept people for who
Speaker 1: they are as they are, and when they show you
Speaker 1: who they are, you have to believe them like they say. So,
Speaker 1: just my standards have completely changed. What has been the
Speaker 1: thing for you in these last couple months? Have you
Speaker 1: been seeing anyone talking twenty one? How hard has that been?
Speaker 1: Are you up front? And obviously you're you're a person
Speaker 1: that's in the public eye, so people know you have daughters.
Speaker 1: But if a lot of guys believe it or not,
Speaker 1: we're not on Instagram, We're not on you know, out there,
Speaker 1: you know, looking for stuff. And there's a guy of guys.
Speaker 1: There is a lot of guys who are only on
Speaker 1: Instagram to chill whatever. You know, you have the f
Speaker 1: boys who are on Instagram. Red fag. I have Instagram,
Speaker 1: but I use it to basically talk about the things
Speaker 1: I do in the business, in the industry. I'm not
Speaker 1: in there like looking at us, you know what, I'll no, no,
Speaker 1: don't fuck it. As soon as you find a guy
Speaker 1: and he's like, You're like, oh, babe, so what's your Instagram?
Speaker 1: Oh I don't have Instagram. He's like, he's got an
Speaker 1: undercover Instagram. He has an under pitch. That's because he
Speaker 1: has his whole girlfriend, he has his whole fucking three
Speaker 1: four kids on the side. Don't believe it. You know,
Speaker 1: I'm so focused in my work, you know I don't.
Speaker 1: I don't use social media. Yeah, I indeed, red flag
Speaker 1: bow wow, Alex. He has to have a Snapchat, a
Speaker 1: bootleg Snapchat. He has to have a Facebook, he has
Speaker 1: to have Yeah, no, I have. We all all guys
Speaker 1: have social media, but it's how we use it, right,
Speaker 1: that that really separates us. Correct. So you're right, we
Speaker 1: all have social media, but it's how you You only
Speaker 1: use your Instagram for business. You've seen me, you follow me,
Speaker 1: You saw I posted a picture of this. I'm doing
Speaker 1: a convention. That's another red flag that's another red flag. Girls.
Speaker 1: If you follow a guy that you're dating, you like,
Speaker 1: and you look at the people that he follows, and
Speaker 1: then he only follows decame man and businesses, it's a trap.
Speaker 1: There's a trap. He's lying. Oh my god, he's probably
Speaker 1: dming them and he's not following them. So that you
Speaker 1: don't fuel suspicions. I know that game. Don't do this.
Speaker 1: There are social media school for men who are trying
Speaker 1: to like put up a front. Don't follow people like this. Alex, Yes,
Speaker 1: there's no way, Alex. You've heard it here. First the
Speaker 1: very first thirst trap Instagram I've ever followed, it was
Speaker 1: I want to put that out there publicly everyone. Are
Speaker 1: you using Are you using social media to find dates
Speaker 1: and to find potential candidate? I'm gonna be honest. I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be honest. My mom said that I shouldn't be
Speaker 1: like that. You assume me home and get me no
Speaker 1: pull up. And but after my last relationship, I have
Speaker 1: been traumatized. I haven't gone out on any dates. Um,
Speaker 1: there was someone that was pursuing me and I and
Speaker 1: I gave him like the time of day for like
Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe for like four days and the moment.
Speaker 1: First of all, I didn't even like him like that.
Speaker 1: I just didn't. I was just trying to give myself
Speaker 1: some time, because you know, it feels nice to be
Speaker 1: liked for someone to just be like, oh, lean, a
Speaker 1: good morning text, he goes. But then I was just
Speaker 1: like A, I don't want to do it. No, I
Speaker 1: don't want to do it. I just then milo of
Speaker 1: actually liking someone and getting screwed over again. I just
Speaker 1: want to focus on my kids, my business, my career. Um,
Speaker 1: I have my kids and I haven't had any you know,
Speaker 1: I haven't had no sex. I haven't had no sex
Speaker 1: since my ex and the last time we did it,
Speaker 1: my girls were like three months or something like that.
Speaker 1: And yeah, like you know, it's it's done. I Um,
Speaker 1: I'm not ready. It's difficult. I'm not reading. I think
Speaker 1: it's I think it's important. I think it's important when
Speaker 1: you finish a relationship to take time for yourself. That's
Speaker 1: been one of my biggest mistakes. I've ended up one
Speaker 1: relationship and I jump off. I've just jumped into another
Speaker 1: relationship and I'm like, oh, that's gonna make me feel better,
Speaker 1: and it doesn't. You need some time to heal, to
Speaker 1: know your worth, to know your standards, to know exactly
Speaker 1: what it is that you want. But I can as
Speaker 1: your way. So I'm just taking that time for myself now.
Speaker 1: And I would imagine that now that that you're the
Speaker 1: different priorities. You got your kids and now you know,
Speaker 1: it used to be you were single and you could
Speaker 1: make time to go out and to stay up all
Speaker 1: night and to stay over and not do you know,
Speaker 1: well not really because my mom my mom gets you know,
Speaker 1: takes care of my girl girls. And my mom is
Speaker 1: like trying to find a person. So she's like she
Speaker 1: always encourages me. Bet Look, I don't know. I just
Speaker 1: have really high standards now, you know, um one of
Speaker 1: my biggest mistakes. And ladies, I know you're out there,
Speaker 1: I know you can relate. A lot of us are fixers.
Speaker 1: I'm a fixer. Well I used to be a fixer.
Speaker 1: I no longer. I'm a fixer. Fixer means you'll find
Speaker 1: broken men and you are trying to fix them, like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, he's a cheater, he's a this, he's a
Speaker 1: drug addict. He's like, hey, whatever it is. He just
Speaker 1: came out of jail. And you're like, Oh, I love you,
Speaker 1: You're the one for me. I can fix you, let
Speaker 1: me clean you up, let me change your wardrobe. It's
Speaker 1: like a project, you know, let me find you. You
Speaker 1: ain't got no job and you haven't worked in the
Speaker 1: past five years, but I don't worry. I'm gonna maintain you.
Speaker 1: To you, I can get you a job, and it's like, no, mommy, listen,
Speaker 1: you have to find people that are up to your standards,
Speaker 1: get monival in order for things to work, either your
Speaker 1: level or better. But you can be out here looking
Speaker 1: for people that don't know what they wanted. That's just
Speaker 1: straight to disaster. So I'm just choosing and picking a
Speaker 1: little bit more wisely this time around. By picking a
Speaker 1: little wisely and looking into the future of what you
Speaker 1: want to set yourself success in a relationship as as
Speaker 1: a mom newly single mom in the after you had
Speaker 1: your little fling with your ex when they were you know, younger,
Speaker 1: the babies were three months old, Like you mentioned before,
Speaker 1: has there been anybody like any steps that you've made
Speaker 1: to find um a specific partner or to even talk
Speaker 1: to someone, and how do you go about it? Then?
Speaker 1: Because you, like I was mentioning before, is that you're
Speaker 1: in the public guy, so people know you have kids.
Speaker 1: Let's say, are you still putting it out there? Like, hey, listen,
Speaker 1: I don't mind talking to you, but I do have
Speaker 1: a priority. I have these two daughters, da da What
Speaker 1: do you how do you go about that? See, I
Speaker 1: am a mother first and then I am a woman.
Speaker 1: So my kids are a priority. If you don't like it,
Speaker 1: if you don't like it, if we're on a date
Speaker 1: and you know I have to go see my kids,
Speaker 1: if we're here today and I have to take a
Speaker 1: flight to see my kids, blah blah. Listen. Uh, you know,
Speaker 1: if you like me, you should understand and you should
Speaker 1: be actually grateful to see that I'm such a good mother.
Speaker 1: Because if I'm a good mother, you'll know that I
Speaker 1: would be a good wife, I'll be a good daughter,
Speaker 1: I'll be a good friend, I'll be many good things. Um,
Speaker 1: you know that's just the worst to me. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I always put it up front. Listen, Um, I have kids.
Speaker 1: They're my priority. I am in love with my kids.
Speaker 1: I am in and it's not just my kid, it's
Speaker 1: my mother. My mother is my first child, that's my
Speaker 1: oldest daughter. And then I got two newborns, So if
Speaker 1: you could stick with it, I'm down. It's buy one,
Speaker 1: get three free and not not really because they come
Speaker 1: out really expensive, so it's it's a combo deal. And
Speaker 1: I do. I will say this much. I haven't been
Speaker 1: on a date since I end up my last relationship.
Speaker 1: I have been on certain dating apps like Rya and
Speaker 1: um I do. I have found that I'd like to,
Speaker 1: you know, to just send messages back and forth, like
Speaker 1: I like to feel that I'm liked. It doesn't mean
Speaker 1: I'm gonna do anything. I don't even know where you live.
Speaker 1: I don't know who you are. Battle it's just like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, oh my god, really think you are
Speaker 1: doesn't hurt you? You know, a little barty better? Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's it. The moment's like, oh yeah, I would, let's
Speaker 1: meet up so I can stick it to you. I'm
Speaker 1: app I don't want to do it. What's the clientele
Speaker 1: like on Rya? What's the I'm on mita high classic
Speaker 1: bog we ware to say app. I think the the
Speaker 1: Rya you have to get approved is not that get
Speaker 1: like that. You have to get approved, the background checking,
Speaker 1: the line, and it's mainly for people in the entertainment industry. UM,
Speaker 1: whether it is that you're an athlete, you're an artist,
Speaker 1: your producer, your engineer, you're UM, whatever it may be.
Speaker 1: There's a lot of entrepreneurs on this app as well,
Speaker 1: and like because you can also go to their Instagram
Speaker 1: right there and verify if you're full of crap or
Speaker 1: this is really what you do. UM, I've met great
Speaker 1: people through there and just through just to talking better.
Speaker 1: Is it even good for networking? So it's been actually good?
Speaker 1: Do you do you feel like like this and you've
Speaker 1: you've done the I don't need to be on a
Speaker 1: dating site or dating app to find a date. Do
Speaker 1: you feel like it's a lot easier for you as
Speaker 1: a single mom to meet people. Is it safer for
Speaker 1: you to meet people through these apps or whatever, or
Speaker 1: or do you feel like you still need that connection
Speaker 1: where if you go out you might bump into someone
Speaker 1: or flirt with someone. Yeah, the app, the app, the app,
Speaker 1: you just with people in face to face in general,
Speaker 1: and you prefer to meet them afterwards after you've done
Speaker 1: your inspections. If I see you in person and there's
Speaker 1: a vibe and there's a clique, I'm in I love it. Cool.
Speaker 1: But if I can meet you online, I'd rather it.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna tell you why. It gives me an opportunity
Speaker 1: to not waste my time in person. I can talk
Speaker 1: to you through messages to see if I like you,
Speaker 1: your vibe, if we have an understanding too. I also
Speaker 1: get the opportunity of doing my research on your social media,
Speaker 1: for example, do you have a baby mom? Do you
Speaker 1: have a girlfriend, dadda? Who are you texting? Who are
Speaker 1: you liking? Are you commenting? Who's this like? It gives
Speaker 1: me a chance to figure out what's going on and
Speaker 1: if you have approved. If I've approved and you pass
Speaker 1: all these standards, this is like, what is a fear
Speaker 1: factor if you If you pass all of this and
Speaker 1: those say I'll go on a date with Wow, you
Speaker 1: do get a but let me tample unless I'm hungry.
Speaker 1: If I'm hungry, I'm like, oh my god, yes, let's
Speaker 1: go out. I'm gonna eat. I'm a drink. I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna call you again. Besides that, it's like, should you
Speaker 1: know how I know how you have your lady segment?
Speaker 1: You know what, while I'm here, I'm gonna have gentlemen segment.
Speaker 1: Listening to this, These are the red flags. If you're listens, Yeah,
Speaker 1: she's gonna take it. She's gonna she wants to go
Speaker 1: to a really expensive bougie restaurant that she's never been to. Okay,
Speaker 1: she's gonna go. She's gonna eat, she's gonna have appetizers, drinks,
Speaker 1: and then she's gonna be out. Wow, it's over. No,
Speaker 1: I'm not listen. You had my company. We got to talk.
Speaker 1: You got to me. Listen. Men make more money than women.
Speaker 1: They should be taking us out, and I just ladies,
Speaker 1: not how you balance it out. For the most part,
Speaker 1: when they see you, they go over there with a
Speaker 1: mission and their goal. Their goal is to pursue you
Speaker 1: and persuade you so they can figure out a way
Speaker 1: how to stick it to you. So you're just paying
Speaker 1: the game. Mamma learned to play the game. Take pictures
Speaker 1: and videos of everything, but don't take pictures of him.
Speaker 1: I posted a liber best. Is this the new advice?
Speaker 1: Is this the advice for new mothers out there who
Speaker 1: are seeking to date ladies and gentlemen? You herd to
Speaker 1: hear live on Amada. First, she's giving you the rundown
Speaker 1: on how to do it. Here's the here's the template
Speaker 1: on the game plan. Listen, Amata's dating rya category style.
Speaker 1: I don't think most of us are dating RYA's style,
Speaker 1: that's true, but you know what I listen. A lot
Speaker 1: of them may be talking shit right now, but you
Speaker 1: know where I'm coming from. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1: And I'm sure there's more than one girl out there
Speaker 1: that's gone on a date with a guy just to
Speaker 1: eat and drink and never hog them again. The same thing.
Speaker 1: Guys are the same thing. They take you out, they
Speaker 1: feed you, they give you drinks, they try to smash.
Speaker 1: If they get to smash, they never call you again. Listen, listen.
Speaker 1: I learned a little too late, but it was never
Speaker 1: too late because I'm still alive. I don't know. It's
Speaker 1: a doggy dog world, I guess right. Dating in the
Speaker 1: modern world. I'm laughing and I'm talking shit, but it
Speaker 1: honestly is very trash and it's very sad, because do
Speaker 1: you think I really want to do that now? I
Speaker 1: would love to go out on a date and actually
Speaker 1: meet someone meaningful and create something from that. But as
Speaker 1: many games as men play these days, because they have
Speaker 1: they have way too many options, way too much out
Speaker 1: it's like they got they have a catalog women on Instagram.
Speaker 1: That's what social media has become, as a catalog. You
Speaker 1: pick them, you slat up in their DM, they talk
Speaker 1: to you, exchange numbers, and next thing you know, even
Speaker 1: and they're on the other side of the world. They're
Speaker 1: taking flights or you're buying flights. It's you know, what
Speaker 1: love used to be has changed. Relationships have changed the
Speaker 1: fact of being with someone and putting up with their
Speaker 1: ship and sticking it through and I'm gonna ride with
Speaker 1: you and even though I'm pissed off at you and
Speaker 1: i don't want to talk to you, go to the
Speaker 1: next room, but we're not leaving each other. Week said
Speaker 1: we're gonna do this, and this is what we're doing,
Speaker 1: and all those things have changed, and it's very hard,
Speaker 1: especially with this new generation. So well, the new generation
Speaker 1: just makes it very difficult. I'm gonna Last year, there
Speaker 1: was a poll that was taken that there's more single
Speaker 1: men now than ever before because women have higher standards
Speaker 1: because now they don't have to support of it, like
Speaker 1: they don't have to get married to, you know, have
Speaker 1: a best financially stable, they don't need a man to
Speaker 1: take care of them, and now they have more standards.
Speaker 1: What do you think about that? I think I agree
Speaker 1: to a certain example of the book all the way.
Speaker 1: You know why, because a lot of men are single
Speaker 1: because they have way too many options, Like you know
Speaker 1: what I'm saying. Yes, a lot of women have high standards,
Speaker 1: But why would I be in if I was a
Speaker 1: man with a whole piece right, and I'm sure I
Speaker 1: would have a nice wokando, if I was a man
Speaker 1: with a whole dingling, why would I be in a
Speaker 1: relationship with a girl? These girls these days, you're giving
Speaker 1: the wife thees, You're giving the wife the quality of
Speaker 1: girl at home. I need money like you do everything
Speaker 1: a wife would do. Why would I be in a
Speaker 1: relationship with you when I could be with you you
Speaker 1: you you you, And even before the in the dating
Speaker 1: in the dating aspect dating era, girls are still doing
Speaker 1: the same thing a girlfriend would do. And girlfriends are
Speaker 1: doing the things that a wife would do, So why
Speaker 1: would they feel the need to commit to you? Why?
Speaker 1: So That's why I'm like, Yeah, if I was a guy,
Speaker 1: would probably be the same do the same thing. I
Speaker 1: would just be single and day A hope. Bunch of
Speaker 1: women I have I have. I don't necessarily have to
Speaker 1: have a commitment with you. I'm not obligated to do
Speaker 1: certain things for you because you're not my wife or
Speaker 1: you're not my girlfriend. And then that's it. And then
Speaker 1: women want to feel like they got options. They want
Speaker 1: to mess with this guy, messed with the other guy,
Speaker 1: messed with the other guy from here, dinner from here,
Speaker 1: and everybody's just playing games. And I feel that people
Speaker 1: realize that they have messed up and life has changed.
Speaker 1: The older you get, the older you get, the more
Speaker 1: you realize, I've wasted these good years of my life
Speaker 1: playing around, and now I don't have my solid significant other.
Speaker 1: You know, when you're young, do they get a moon though?
Speaker 1: You just want to have fun. But a time passes by. God,
Speaker 1: you're sick, or something is really happening, something is really
Speaker 1: going down. You're going through the press, should or whatever,
Speaker 1: and you realize that you don't really have anybody to
Speaker 1: hold you down that's really gonna be there with you
Speaker 1: to the good and the bad. That's when you realize
Speaker 1: that you messed up. And I don't also want to
Speaker 1: give that. I want to say this for the girls
Speaker 1: that are listening, for the guys as well. None of
Speaker 1: us are born bad. It's always this one person that
Speaker 1: makes you bad. I know a lot of good men
Speaker 1: out there. There's been great men. Marry me him up
Speaker 1: one HOI Sacto messes them up. Yeah, now you traumatize
Speaker 1: them and now they get in bang goad with everybody else.
Speaker 1: The same thing goes for women. There's a lot of
Speaker 1: great women out there. Lament that you destroy her confidence,
Speaker 1: you cheat, you lie, you this, you that now she
Speaker 1: wants and now she's turned into a different type of woman.
Speaker 1: And now she's you know, encouraging other women to do
Speaker 1: the same. And now oh, it's a domino effect of
Speaker 1: you know, they say, they say that the person you're
Speaker 1: dating ends up suffering from the person you dated before,
Speaker 1: like the trauma that they gave you. You end up,
Speaker 1: you know, passing it on to the person you're dating,
Speaker 1: or you're taking it out on them. I've heard that expression.
Speaker 1: I have a question for you, um in In. In
Speaker 1: your line of work, you meet a lot of people.
Speaker 1: You're always out and about right, so you know you're
Speaker 1: able to give As a new mom, you're able to
Speaker 1: give some advice to whomever it may be listening to
Speaker 1: this is also a new mother. Do you feel it's okay,
Speaker 1: um for moms to also just new moms take care
Speaker 1: of themselves to kind of keep Hey, yes, I have kids.
Speaker 1: This person that I'm going to meet up with doesn't
Speaker 1: need to know, you know, crap and look like they
Speaker 1: just want to have fun but they don't want to
Speaker 1: look for nothing serious. So do you feel yourself that
Speaker 1: it's okay for women to also play the game like
Speaker 1: that as a single mother to just keep it low?
Speaker 1: Those are because she's doing She's the best mother ever.
Speaker 1: She takes care of them, but she's still going out,
Speaker 1: you know, so side piece seeing. But yeah, judgment free zone.
Speaker 1: This is me being exactly I'm out on this is
Speaker 1: exactly my opinion. But everybody has the rights to live
Speaker 1: their life because I don't pay your bills and I'm
Speaker 1: definitely not gonna go to your house to screw you.
Speaker 1: So listen, Yes, you have the right to live your
Speaker 1: best life if you want to be on the low
Speaker 1: because you and you're being a good mother by you know,
Speaker 1: keeping one thing away from the other. Your babies don't
Speaker 1: have to know you're a guy that you're having fun with.
Speaker 1: Does don't have to know, and you go out there,
Speaker 1: you have fun and live your best life. You have
Speaker 1: the rights too. Personally, I don't move like that one.
Speaker 1: Because I'm a public figure. I have to be careful.
Speaker 1: I have to take care of myself too, because I'm
Speaker 1: a mother three, because anything that I do, I could
Speaker 1: be I could just finished, take a little nap and
Speaker 1: next thing, I know, my picture, my naked picture is
Speaker 1: on Twitter. You don't know. So you have to be
Speaker 1: very very cautious of everything that you do. You know that,
Speaker 1: um I was. I won't mention too many details, but
Speaker 1: I have been with people or someone that I literally
Speaker 1: you know me trusting you m At one point, they
Speaker 1: text me a picture of me naked sleeping in the
Speaker 1: bed and they're like, oh, that's you last night, And
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, I know it was me last night,
Speaker 1: But why would you take a picture of that, Like
Speaker 1: why would you say, oh, I have a whole bunch
Speaker 1: of those. So you are with someone thinking that's a
Speaker 1: major violation. You're comfortable going to sleep, and it's like,
Speaker 1: I trust you. We just finished being you know, intimate,
Speaker 1: and next thing I know, you have a whole collage
Speaker 1: of naked pictures of me. While I've been sleeping, So
Speaker 1: you have to be careful, you know, you have to
Speaker 1: be careful the way that you move. And if that
Speaker 1: was just me sleeping, god knows, if we were doing
Speaker 1: it and you record and I didn't even know, you know,
Speaker 1: you just you have to be very, very careful and
Speaker 1: very selective these days. It just is what it is,
Speaker 1: you know. Um So yeah, personally, I have a vibrator
Speaker 1: and I'm happy with my vibrator. I actually bought me
Speaker 1: another woman with it. It works, it's rechargeable. Look, I
Speaker 1: don't even have to buy the batteries no more. I
Speaker 1: take it in my purse. I take it in my purse.
Speaker 1: If I'm driving nine andy five and I feel horny,
Speaker 1: this is a handle myself. You keep it pushing elfe
Speaker 1: is good. I don't have to worry about cheating. I
Speaker 1: don't get pregnant, no STDs, and I my spot one
Speaker 1: two three. That is great advice for new mothers as well,
Speaker 1: because we've been playing both sides of defense here. We've
Speaker 1: been playing with the let's keep it a secret, right,
Speaker 1: let's let's do whatever you want. You also have the
Speaker 1: I'm gonna be up front and still do my thing
Speaker 1: and still, you know, like yourself, who's who was a
Speaker 1: public figure. But yes, you're a hundred percent correct. There
Speaker 1: shouldn't be any shame in that, whether you're a male
Speaker 1: or female. If you're going to be doing, you know,
Speaker 1: taking care of yourself, that's self care. Nobody should be
Speaker 1: telling you. I agree, Mina. There's a lot of st
Speaker 1: and it is what it is. So you have to
Speaker 1: be careful being protected, hailing, protect the hangling because you're
Speaker 1: gonna want to be fine and set out here in
Speaker 1: the streets. You can't live your life this way, so
Speaker 1: by a little machine one hundred dollars, the good ones,
Speaker 1: it don't work, one hundred dollars. The good ones, you
Speaker 1: handle it and you keep it pushing and you're focusing
Speaker 1: until you find the right one. I don't know if
Speaker 1: we talked about this last season, but when I was
Speaker 1: dating back in the day, I would always ask a
Speaker 1: new guy that I was about to be intimate with
Speaker 1: to go get an STD test and to send me
Speaker 1: the results. And I remember sha that with my friends
Speaker 1: and they were like, what the hell is wrong with you?
Speaker 1: And I thought I thought nobody was doing money. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I've done it. I did it with my ex. I
Speaker 1: did it with my with my EXX. We actually went
Speaker 1: together with my ex. We did it. We did it
Speaker 1: on meen and you know, like I might lie. You know,
Speaker 1: my ex was never fun of using you know, condoms
Speaker 1: or anything like that. Um And the first time around
Speaker 1: it did happen, you know, and I did panic. I
Speaker 1: panicked immediately, not just because of that, but also be
Speaker 1: because I know that I'm a very fertile person and
Speaker 1: I need to be concerned. So the moment I was like,
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, let's go figure out what's happening. But yeah,
Speaker 1: I think getting tests it should be the same way
Speaker 1: that they had the the COVID test test, that you
Speaker 1: could just have it at test. I think the people
Speaker 1: you should just be able to go to the walk
Speaker 1: into whatever you buy, a little thing you swab or whatever,
Speaker 1: p on it, look at it and if we just
Speaker 1: sit there and watch, that's it. You're clear. You're clear.
Speaker 1: Come on, let's go. Here we go. Lady. That's entrepreneur.
Speaker 1: You need an investor. You should. Yeah, you should have
Speaker 1: it at home a CD test because they do sell them.
Speaker 1: I'm sure they do. Where you where you should be
Speaker 1: able We could look that up where we where you
Speaker 1: should be able as as a partnership. You want to
Speaker 1: be safe. They want to be safe. You're a new mother,
Speaker 1: you definitely want to be safe. No matter what is.
Speaker 1: What is everyone's today's take home? What are they taking
Speaker 1: home today? You know, if I have to give a takeaway,
Speaker 1: I would say for all the single mothers out there,
Speaker 1: you have the rights to relive your life, to have fun,
Speaker 1: to be young, to explore, to do all the things
Speaker 1: that you want. Obviously, be careful. There's a lot of
Speaker 1: crazy men out here. There's a lot of crazy people
Speaker 1: out there, and if you just come out of being
Speaker 1: in a relationship, obviously you're a single mother, be very
Speaker 1: careful who you choose to be your significant other moving forward,
Speaker 1: think about your kids first. There's a lot of crazy
Speaker 1: people out here that they may seem cool as hell,
Speaker 1: but we see them. We see a lot of these
Speaker 1: stepfathers or these girlfriend boyfriends that you leave your kids with,
Speaker 1: and they may do malicious things to your child. I
Speaker 1: recently saw a guy that poured boiling water on a
Speaker 1: little girl's mouth and all types of stuff. People don't
Speaker 1: have the same patience that you do for your children,
Speaker 1: So you have to be a mother first and then
Speaker 1: you are a woman. I know there's a little bit
Speaker 1: hard to adapt and to process for a lot of women,
Speaker 1: but life has changed for you because now your priorities
Speaker 1: are your children. So I don't say is have fun,
Speaker 1: live your best life, but remember to be a mother
Speaker 1: first and then a woman. Choose wisely. That is great
Speaker 1: to hear, and as a male, that is what you
Speaker 1: want to hear from it. If you're into wanting to
Speaker 1: date a single mom, if you love kids, because there
Speaker 1: are guys out there that really want to be with
Speaker 1: someone like you, that is what you want to hear.
Speaker 1: That is perfect. I can't even put it better myself.
Speaker 1: Today's episode has been lit. I absolutely really enjoyed it.
Speaker 1: I can't wait to see what you guys think about
Speaker 1: today's episode. Please let me know at exactly abata on Instagram, Facebook,
Speaker 1: Twitter and all that good stuff. Do you agree that
Speaker 1: you have to be a mother first and then a woman.
Speaker 1: You have to choose your battles. Have you had any
Speaker 1: weird experience? Have you ever gone on a weird date
Speaker 1: as a mother? What has happened to you? I want
Speaker 1: to read it. I want to see it and shout
Speaker 1: out to all the beautiful single mothers, hard working mothers
Speaker 1: out there. To all those guys out there they're dating
Speaker 1: a single mother, thank you for being a support system.
Speaker 1: Thank you for being so amazing. Thank you for standing
Speaker 1: up for that man that left and you're taking that
Speaker 1: role in that place. Thank you guys so much for
Speaker 1: being part of exactly amata. And like I said before,
Speaker 1: don't forget to find us at all our social media
Speaker 1: platform at exactly amata. This has been a production of
Speaker 1: Ihearts Michael Tuda podcast network. I love you guys, See
Speaker 1: you next time.