1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:02,760 Speaker 1: Hey, this is Sam, this is John. We're the ancient 2 00:00:02,880 --> 00:00:06,040 Speaker 1: two case storytime podcast hosts, and we have some ancient 3 00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:07,480 Speaker 1: wisdom in the stories coming up. 4 00:00:07,600 --> 00:00:08,240 Speaker 2: If you want to. 5 00:00:08,160 --> 00:00:11,080 Speaker 1: Hear the wisdom from two old heads that know more 6 00:00:11,119 --> 00:00:12,639 Speaker 1: than they know what to do with, you're gonna have 7 00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:15,239 Speaker 1: to wait for a quick message from our sponsors for 8 00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:17,239 Speaker 1: the next two minutes or so. 9 00:00:17,239 --> 00:00:20,160 Speaker 2: So this is part four. But last we left off. 10 00:00:20,160 --> 00:00:22,119 Speaker 3: In this series, we found out about Ope's heart to 11 00:00:22,200 --> 00:00:24,880 Speaker 3: heart with their boyfriend. According to her, he agreed to 12 00:00:24,880 --> 00:00:28,200 Speaker 3: set some boundaries in place with his ex professor, especially 13 00:00:28,240 --> 00:00:31,560 Speaker 3: as their decision to share in Airbnb made both their 14 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:35,040 Speaker 3: partners uncomfortable. However, Opie's boyfriend still insists that Opi and 15 00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:37,720 Speaker 3: his ex professor are going to meet to get to 16 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:40,320 Speaker 3: know each other. Will this dinner party crash and burn? 17 00:00:40,760 --> 00:00:46,239 Speaker 3: Let's find out. So this is the professor's side, hy 18 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:49,760 Speaker 3: ya yi, Why am I twenty five female always portrayed 19 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:54,160 Speaker 3: as wasted? Maria twenty five female was wasted? Editors not 20 00:00:54,360 --> 00:00:57,080 Speaker 3: says there has been some confusion. Maria and Linda are 21 00:00:57,200 --> 00:01:01,520 Speaker 3: professor's friends. Maria is the one who can corroborate everything. 22 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:04,480 Speaker 3: I twenty five female and the aforementioned professor and the 23 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:07,479 Speaker 3: best of writer to post about me related to posts 24 00:01:07,480 --> 00:01:10,080 Speaker 3: and the subreddit. I decided to post a response after 25 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:12,160 Speaker 3: this event was brought up again with a mutual Maria 26 00:01:12,200 --> 00:01:14,680 Speaker 3: twenty five female for both hanging out as I type. 27 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:16,560 Speaker 4: This, and I think, Okay, maybe the reason she is 28 00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:18,360 Speaker 4: replying to this like this is because again she's not 29 00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:20,919 Speaker 4: really a professor. Her full time job as an accountant. 30 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:21,679 Speaker 2: So she does. 31 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:23,280 Speaker 4: I don't even know if it's like, oh, I might 32 00:01:23,319 --> 00:01:26,440 Speaker 4: be losing my job like you're not. Maybe you're your adjuncte. 33 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:28,600 Speaker 4: You know, you're a full time something else. 34 00:01:28,959 --> 00:01:30,080 Speaker 2: She's just in it for the tea. 35 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:33,920 Speaker 3: She and I have both hung out with boyfriend Bob 36 00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,520 Speaker 3: in group settings and think there are definitely two sides 37 00:01:36,560 --> 00:01:39,640 Speaker 3: of the story. My main gripe is being portrayed as 38 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:43,080 Speaker 3: a wasted man stealer. Below is the original post I 39 00:01:43,080 --> 00:01:46,240 Speaker 3: found while browsing Day one. Also, someone did find me 40 00:01:46,400 --> 00:01:49,200 Speaker 3: after reading this post due to how specific it is. 41 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:52,160 Speaker 3: I'm responding paragraph by paragraph, so you do not need 42 00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,800 Speaker 3: to read the original post. Feel free too. So I 43 00:01:54,920 --> 00:01:59,120 Speaker 3: was his instructor for one class flash semester that boyfriend 44 00:01:59,120 --> 00:02:01,760 Speaker 3: Bob attended. I have no say or sway at the 45 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:04,120 Speaker 3: school and have not taught since then. I taught a 46 00:02:04,160 --> 00:02:06,760 Speaker 3: class related to my profession. I did not get to 47 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:09,400 Speaker 3: know Bob personally until after the class was over. On 48 00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:11,680 Speaker 3: the last day, he expressed that I was a great 49 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:14,799 Speaker 3: instructor and gave me a miniature he built as a 50 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:18,079 Speaker 3: show of gratitude. I also made miniatures a different type, though, 51 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:20,800 Speaker 3: and it was intrigued that someone else was into this hobby. 52 00:02:20,880 --> 00:02:21,840 Speaker 2: And we stayed in toime. 53 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:23,799 Speaker 4: Nah, this guy knew that you did that before he 54 00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:25,400 Speaker 4: gave you that. Right, there's no way. 55 00:02:25,440 --> 00:02:28,400 Speaker 3: Maybe, but yeah, maybe maybe she talked about it in class, 56 00:02:28,440 --> 00:02:30,200 Speaker 3: but I think it still could have been, like, you know, 57 00:02:30,240 --> 00:02:31,919 Speaker 3: like a apple at the end of a. 58 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:35,120 Speaker 4: I'm immediately suspicious of the way she's framing this because 59 00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:37,120 Speaker 4: it sounds like, well, the first he made the first move, 60 00:02:37,720 --> 00:02:38,200 Speaker 4: and it's like. 61 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:39,600 Speaker 2: I don't think I'm asicious. 62 00:02:39,919 --> 00:02:44,720 Speaker 3: I feel like, like that move alone, Like I've given 63 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:47,639 Speaker 3: nice little things to professors, not as much as I should. 64 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:49,400 Speaker 2: I should give more apples to professors. 65 00:02:50,400 --> 00:02:51,480 Speaker 4: Are they apples? Though? 66 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:54,040 Speaker 2: The nice little things? 67 00:02:54,120 --> 00:02:56,560 Speaker 4: Thice? Little things, little little. 68 00:02:56,480 --> 00:02:58,880 Speaker 2: Little things, Yeah, just a little little things. 69 00:02:58,680 --> 00:03:00,200 Speaker 4: A little appreciation, a little. 70 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:03,840 Speaker 3: Later, I invited a few students for a meal, girls 71 00:03:03,840 --> 00:03:06,160 Speaker 3: and guys, and the boys students were the only ones 72 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:07,079 Speaker 3: who are svp'ed. 73 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:08,799 Speaker 2: Yes, Bob did. 74 00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:11,080 Speaker 3: Mention an event I did not invite myself. I said 75 00:03:11,120 --> 00:03:13,760 Speaker 3: me and my friend Linda were interested in may Goo too. 76 00:03:13,919 --> 00:03:16,520 Speaker 3: Later on, Bob invited me to join their group's airbnb 77 00:03:16,639 --> 00:03:19,520 Speaker 3: because I was looking at hotels. A previous event trip 78 00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:23,120 Speaker 3: fell through for mine Linda's friend group, and I felt 79 00:03:23,160 --> 00:03:25,480 Speaker 3: bad she couldn't go on a trip in the USA 80 00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:27,440 Speaker 3: before she had to go back to her home country. 81 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:30,920 Speaker 3: This trip was to replace that experience, and Bob invited 82 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:33,280 Speaker 3: us to the airbnb, and Linda and I shared a 83 00:03:33,360 --> 00:03:35,920 Speaker 3: room with two beds, so they had separate beds and everything. 84 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:38,160 Speaker 4: What do you think I mean, that's that's fine. 85 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:40,480 Speaker 3: Maria ended up coming on this trip as well, which 86 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:42,400 Speaker 3: the group was also okay with, and stayed in the 87 00:03:42,440 --> 00:03:45,360 Speaker 3: same room with me and Linda, respectfully. I had one 88 00:03:45,400 --> 00:03:48,120 Speaker 3: cocktail and then his friend bought everyone a shot. That 89 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:51,600 Speaker 3: was the extent of my drinking. I wasn't wasted, Linda 90 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:54,280 Speaker 3: wasn't wasted, and no one else in the group ended 91 00:03:54,320 --> 00:03:58,080 Speaker 3: up being wasted. Maria was, though Maria underestimated how strong 92 00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:00,240 Speaker 3: the drinks were, and she was the DD and did 93 00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,280 Speaker 3: not have enough time to sober up once she felt 94 00:04:02,280 --> 00:04:02,880 Speaker 3: the booze hitter. 95 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:03,760 Speaker 2: You couldn't drive. 96 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:06,160 Speaker 3: I didn't want to drive her dad's car and Linda 97 00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:08,720 Speaker 3: doesn't have a US driver's license. Bob offered to drive 98 00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:11,320 Speaker 3: the car with me, Linda, and Maria back to the airbnb. 99 00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:14,560 Speaker 3: The other car was driven back by his friend, who 100 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:18,239 Speaker 3: was not wasted and drove sober. At the Airbnb, Bob 101 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:20,960 Speaker 3: asked what I would do with a model kid I won. 102 00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:23,440 Speaker 3: I said, I'm not familiar with that type of miniature, 103 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:26,000 Speaker 3: so I would sell it on Facebook marketplace. He said 104 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,360 Speaker 3: it was actually easy to build, he had built one before, 105 00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:30,880 Speaker 3: and he can help me build it right then, as 106 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:33,320 Speaker 3: all their tools for building were still out on the table. 107 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:35,840 Speaker 3: I said he didn't have to, but he insisted and 108 00:04:35,880 --> 00:04:39,520 Speaker 3: I accepted his help. I was also still not wasted. 109 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:43,360 Speaker 4: And we've already established building the thing is way less 110 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:45,400 Speaker 4: susce than not building the whole thing. 111 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:47,560 Speaker 2: I think there was a full model at the end 112 00:04:47,600 --> 00:04:48,080 Speaker 2: of this income. 113 00:04:48,240 --> 00:04:50,960 Speaker 4: Yeah, it was like a let's appreciate this thing. Oh, 114 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:53,120 Speaker 4: you don't think you can do something I bet you can, 115 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:56,120 Speaker 4: because this is cool and it can be overwhelming to 116 00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,520 Speaker 4: build some of those things there. The instructions can be 117 00:04:58,640 --> 00:05:00,880 Speaker 4: unclear and difficult tedious. 118 00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:04,480 Speaker 3: So far, though Chat is saying she's lying with seven votes, 119 00:05:04,600 --> 00:05:07,120 Speaker 3: I mean, I don't know. I don't think necessarily she is. 120 00:05:07,279 --> 00:05:10,320 Speaker 4: This sounds like exactly what happened, because the boyfriend is like, 121 00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:12,799 Speaker 4: all right, well, after y'all had a heart to heart, 122 00:05:12,960 --> 00:05:15,039 Speaker 4: all of this comes down to, is the boyfriend to 123 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:18,000 Speaker 4: be trusted in this relationship and everything it is telling me? 124 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:19,560 Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, you know. 125 00:05:20,360 --> 00:05:23,479 Speaker 4: I think if boyfriend picked up the sense that there 126 00:05:23,640 --> 00:05:28,200 Speaker 4: was some level of infatuation or you know. 127 00:05:28,560 --> 00:05:29,960 Speaker 2: I think as soon as he did he like put 128 00:05:29,960 --> 00:05:30,800 Speaker 2: that boundary. 129 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:33,719 Speaker 4: Lost coming his way, he'd be like, Hey, let's not 130 00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,479 Speaker 4: hang out with her anymore. That's freaky, right. Why would 131 00:05:36,480 --> 00:05:38,040 Speaker 4: we want to do that? We want to hang out 132 00:05:38,080 --> 00:05:41,280 Speaker 4: with the home wrecker who wants to ruin her engagement 133 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:43,760 Speaker 4: and also mess with mine? Like what are we doing? 134 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:47,039 Speaker 2: I agree? I agree, but I accepted his help. I 135 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:47,920 Speaker 2: was still not wasted. 136 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:50,560 Speaker 3: Next to us in the living room, Maria and two 137 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:53,360 Speaker 3: of the guys were watching or in high school host 138 00:05:53,360 --> 00:05:56,599 Speaker 3: Club and Cowboy Bebop. We all stayed up until two 139 00:05:56,600 --> 00:05:59,120 Speaker 3: am building or watching anime, so it was like everyone 140 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:00,400 Speaker 3: was in the room exactly. 141 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:02,960 Speaker 4: It's like this this is f would be so different 142 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:04,680 Speaker 4: if it was just the two of them, But that 143 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:07,799 Speaker 4: would be ever unacceptable immediately, because what are you doing? 144 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:10,120 Speaker 3: But for half of the trip, me and the girls 145 00:06:10,200 --> 00:06:12,080 Speaker 3: split off and did our own thing. We did not 146 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:14,479 Speaker 3: stay with the group the entire trip because our intent 147 00:06:14,600 --> 00:06:17,440 Speaker 3: was to go piggyback a small girl's weekend while also 148 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:21,320 Speaker 3: seeing the event. Now this is back to Op's original post, 149 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:24,719 Speaker 3: so basically saying like they met up with a professor 150 00:06:25,080 --> 00:06:27,520 Speaker 3: and got to meet professor's fiance at the anime convention. 151 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:31,000 Speaker 3: I trust my boyfriend, but what's what's happening? So Bob 152 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:34,520 Speaker 3: and his group? This is the professor announced talking. Bob 153 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:36,880 Speaker 3: and his group went to an anime convention. I and 154 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:39,960 Speaker 3: my friend group also went because I was not aware 155 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:43,200 Speaker 3: there was one near me until Bob mentioned it. My 156 00:06:43,279 --> 00:06:45,599 Speaker 3: friend group, I thought got along well with his friends 157 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:48,640 Speaker 3: and it was a great first con experience. I and 158 00:06:48,680 --> 00:06:51,120 Speaker 3: a few of my friends express interests in future events. 159 00:06:51,120 --> 00:06:53,960 Speaker 3: I think she's hung up on this professor title ship, 160 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:57,359 Speaker 3: but I was an instructor who students call professor. But 161 00:06:57,440 --> 00:06:59,719 Speaker 3: this was very clearly was a side gig. As I 162 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:02,279 Speaker 3: had a career, I was never in any position to 163 00:07:02,279 --> 00:07:04,680 Speaker 3: power at the school. I was a contract employee used 164 00:07:04,680 --> 00:07:07,280 Speaker 3: to fill an open course section at an undesirable time. 165 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:09,760 Speaker 3: For the majority of the time I knew Bob. We 166 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:12,280 Speaker 3: were equals, were only one year apart in age, and 167 00:07:12,320 --> 00:07:15,280 Speaker 3: shared a similar hobby. I respect that they view my 168 00:07:15,400 --> 00:07:17,960 Speaker 3: actions unprofessionally. I did not view it at the time. 169 00:07:18,240 --> 00:07:20,920 Speaker 3: I was no longer an instructor and have not been 170 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:24,320 Speaker 3: since I taught a four month course one day a week. 171 00:07:24,400 --> 00:07:26,680 Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean, that's what I'm saying, dog. 172 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:28,560 Speaker 3: Like I would not be friends with an eighteen to 173 00:07:28,600 --> 00:07:30,600 Speaker 3: twenty two year old I had nothing in common with. 174 00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:35,320 Speaker 3: And then the original ope, the girlfriend of this guy, Yeah, 175 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:38,640 Speaker 3: talks about having the heart to heart andting boundaries and stuff, 176 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:42,080 Speaker 3: and then op now that this professor says I did 177 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:44,120 Speaker 3: not know it had crossed any of their boundaries at 178 00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:46,280 Speaker 3: the time until the phone call. I treated Bob the 179 00:07:46,280 --> 00:07:48,400 Speaker 3: same way I treat all of my friends, but I 180 00:07:48,480 --> 00:07:51,200 Speaker 3: do understand and respect that not everyone has the same 181 00:07:51,240 --> 00:07:53,720 Speaker 3: view of friendship. My friend group went through a period 182 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:55,960 Speaker 3: where we would talk about going to do stuff and 183 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:58,560 Speaker 3: then no one does any work to follow through the 184 00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:01,040 Speaker 3: event Linda and our friends were going to attend that 185 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,440 Speaker 3: never happened is a good example. I didn't want lazy 186 00:08:03,480 --> 00:08:05,800 Speaker 3: friends being the reason why I did not experience things. 187 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:08,840 Speaker 3: Bob did follow through on going to things. My husband's 188 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:11,200 Speaker 3: concern was that it was a group of guys we 189 00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,640 Speaker 3: had not met yet in person, and we were all girls. 190 00:08:13,800 --> 00:08:15,720 Speaker 3: I told him that if I thought any of one 191 00:08:15,760 --> 00:08:17,960 Speaker 3: of them was giving off weird vibes, we would immediately 192 00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:20,120 Speaker 3: leave and get a hotel. As for the phone call, 193 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,400 Speaker 3: he did call to tell me basically the same, and 194 00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:26,000 Speaker 3: my understanding was that we should talk less because she 195 00:08:26,080 --> 00:08:28,600 Speaker 3: does not like the closeness. At the time, we were 196 00:08:28,640 --> 00:08:30,760 Speaker 3: messaging every day, and I did make an attempt to 197 00:08:30,760 --> 00:08:33,840 Speaker 3: reduce the frequency to once a week and then ope. 198 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:36,120 Speaker 3: The original ope basically was like well, but she was 199 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:40,000 Speaker 3: still talking to him all the time. And ex Professor 200 00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:44,360 Speaker 3: says one thing left out is that during the phone 201 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:47,800 Speaker 3: call between Bob and me, I asked Bob if his 202 00:08:47,960 --> 00:08:50,880 Speaker 3: girlfriend would want to ever talk or get to know me, 203 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,800 Speaker 3: or if all three of us could hang out, and 204 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:56,520 Speaker 3: he asked her, and she said she did not want 205 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:58,720 Speaker 3: to do that, and she was uncomfortable at the thought 206 00:08:58,760 --> 00:08:59,320 Speaker 3: of meeting me. 207 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:02,199 Speaker 2: Ooh, that feels like new information. 208 00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:03,720 Speaker 4: That is new information. 209 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:06,960 Speaker 5: But I'm having trouble no one who's lying here, because 210 00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:09,960 Speaker 5: it is either the original poster or the professor. The 211 00:09:10,080 --> 00:09:14,240 Speaker 5: professor's doing a like this, dissecting paragraph by paragraph of 212 00:09:14,320 --> 00:09:15,120 Speaker 5: the play by play. 213 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:18,600 Speaker 4: You know, here's what I'm saying. Ki Kim Fine had 214 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:21,640 Speaker 4: an interesting thought where it's like, it seems pretty suspicious 215 00:09:21,679 --> 00:09:24,320 Speaker 4: that she found this so quickly, especially considering how long 216 00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:26,079 Speaker 4: it probably would have taken her to write this right, 217 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:29,280 Speaker 4: But regardless, I think I don't think. I think let's 218 00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:31,560 Speaker 4: drop that because it's really irrelevant. The point is is 219 00:09:31,600 --> 00:09:33,960 Speaker 4: that you're being like, oh, well, that's why the dinner 220 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,320 Speaker 4: was weird, because I knew that she had said she 221 00:09:36,480 --> 00:09:38,880 Speaker 4: thought meeting me would be uncomfortable and weird. But we 222 00:09:38,920 --> 00:09:41,800 Speaker 4: already got from Op that Op's got anxiety. She doesn't 223 00:09:41,800 --> 00:09:43,320 Speaker 4: even want to go to the convention because she's got 224 00:09:43,360 --> 00:09:47,200 Speaker 4: social anxiety. So as this other person hearing that, and 225 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:49,360 Speaker 4: now you're at dinner and here she is right in 226 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:51,600 Speaker 4: front of you with her boyfriend. Do you really think 227 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:55,000 Speaker 4: icing her out is the move Like that feels. 228 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:58,679 Speaker 3: Like professor didn't ice the girlfriend out, and it was 229 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:01,720 Speaker 3: like just like perceived icing because of social meid insight. 230 00:10:01,600 --> 00:10:04,440 Speaker 4: The boyfriend literally had to be like, Hey, this is 231 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:05,720 Speaker 4: my girlfriend, Like, I. 232 00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:08,280 Speaker 3: Think we might ask context on the girlfriend's side, so, 233 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,640 Speaker 3: you know, or on the professor's side. So she said 234 00:10:10,679 --> 00:10:11,800 Speaker 3: she did not want to do that and she was 235 00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:13,920 Speaker 3: uncomfortable at the thought of meeting me. I did stop 236 00:10:13,920 --> 00:10:16,480 Speaker 3: messaging him frequently and only did so once a week 237 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:18,280 Speaker 3: to ask how his job search was going and to 238 00:10:18,360 --> 00:10:20,320 Speaker 3: let him know the status of a big event in 239 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:24,280 Speaker 3: my life. I thought that was what was requested, less interaction, 240 00:10:24,760 --> 00:10:27,720 Speaker 3: not no interaction. It is true, and if you're new here, 241 00:10:27,840 --> 00:10:30,160 Speaker 3: there are multiple parts of the story, so make sure 242 00:10:30,160 --> 00:10:32,439 Speaker 3: to follow us on the iHeartRadio app, Apple podcasts, or 243 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:34,839 Speaker 3: wherever you get your podcasts. Okay, let's get back into 244 00:10:34,840 --> 00:10:37,080 Speaker 3: the story. So Maria and I. So Maria and the 245 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:39,840 Speaker 3: ex professor went to this dinner because everyone from the 246 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:43,079 Speaker 3: airbnb trip was going to be there. Linda did not go. 247 00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:46,440 Speaker 3: What is not mentioned is that Bob and the girlfriend 248 00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:49,400 Speaker 3: arrived forty minutes into eating. They arrived when I was 249 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,840 Speaker 3: away from the table when I saw them. After I returned, 250 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:54,480 Speaker 3: I nodded and said hi, not specifically at Bob or her. 251 00:10:54,640 --> 00:10:57,640 Speaker 3: I did not address the hide either specifically, because one 252 00:10:57,800 --> 00:11:00,560 Speaker 3: girlfriend does not like me and him talking, and I 253 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:03,320 Speaker 3: didn't want to disrespect that by talking to Bob in 254 00:11:03,320 --> 00:11:05,000 Speaker 3: front of her, and too, she said she did not 255 00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:07,240 Speaker 3: want to talk to me or get to know me previously, 256 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,360 Speaker 3: and I thought she still felt that way. 257 00:11:09,520 --> 00:11:12,560 Speaker 4: All right, that's arriving forty minutes late to the dinner, 258 00:11:12,559 --> 00:11:15,120 Speaker 4: big deal. That's a big deal, and that informs it. 259 00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:17,280 Speaker 4: That's way different if it's everyone's getting to the table 260 00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:19,080 Speaker 4: and sitting down saying, hey, how are you what's going on? 261 00:11:19,160 --> 00:11:19,960 Speaker 4: Blah blah blah. 262 00:11:20,080 --> 00:11:21,120 Speaker 2: I don't know. I kind of believe. 263 00:11:21,120 --> 00:11:23,839 Speaker 3: I kind of believe the chat is split fifty to 264 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:25,920 Speaker 3: fifty on whether they believe the professor or not. 265 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:28,560 Speaker 2: But I kind of that makes sense to me. 266 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:31,520 Speaker 4: I believe that I believe I believe both sides of this, 267 00:11:31,640 --> 00:11:34,640 Speaker 4: in that I believe that the boyfriend doesn't want it was, 268 00:11:34,720 --> 00:11:37,160 Speaker 4: has no intentions of hooking up. I believe that the 269 00:11:37,200 --> 00:11:40,679 Speaker 4: girlfriend was still uncomfortable at this dynamic that he has 270 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:42,960 Speaker 4: with another woman. She knows nothing about. And I believe 271 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:46,040 Speaker 4: that the professor was like, oh, is that the case. Okay, 272 00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:47,760 Speaker 4: then I'll try not to be weird. And then all 273 00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:50,880 Speaker 4: these things have happened that have just compounded, oh PE's 274 00:11:50,960 --> 00:11:54,000 Speaker 4: own insecurities, Yeah, into this thing that is bigger than 275 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:54,680 Speaker 4: it actually was. 276 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,040 Speaker 5: I have a conspiracy theory. 277 00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:58,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, hit me with it. 278 00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:01,880 Speaker 5: Oh how do you fix that professor's hot and the 279 00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:02,960 Speaker 5: girlfriend's jealous? 280 00:12:03,320 --> 00:12:05,840 Speaker 4: That could be that simple. It could be that simple, 281 00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:08,199 Speaker 4: you know, I think, And it's look, we keep calling 282 00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:11,400 Speaker 4: her professor. She taught one class a week for four months. 283 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:15,960 Speaker 4: That's sixteen times she was in a classroom like for 284 00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:18,560 Speaker 4: one reason for an hour, and she never did it again. 285 00:12:18,760 --> 00:12:21,360 Speaker 4: She's not a professor. She's an accountant that was teaching 286 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:25,040 Speaker 4: accounting briefly at a school. Yeah, and did not establish 287 00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:26,040 Speaker 4: this connection with this guy. 288 00:12:26,120 --> 00:12:29,960 Speaker 3: I think when the girlfriend heard professor, I think she 289 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:32,160 Speaker 3: like just like pedestalized. 290 00:12:31,520 --> 00:12:33,800 Speaker 4: Right, exactly her, because I was also, how is she 291 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,720 Speaker 4: had twenty five year old professor's like she's not, she 292 00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,040 Speaker 4: just like was someone They were like, can you teach accounting? 293 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:40,760 Speaker 4: We are low on staff, because that is the reality 294 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:41,679 Speaker 4: of higher education. 295 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,840 Speaker 3: Yeah, but we got a little bit more to this story, actually, 296 00:12:44,920 --> 00:12:45,760 Speaker 3: like a good chunk. 297 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:46,400 Speaker 2: So I learned. 298 00:12:46,440 --> 00:12:48,840 Speaker 3: Bob and his girlfriend thought I only said hey to Bob, 299 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,559 Speaker 3: but I didn't direct it to anyone, and I was 300 00:12:50,559 --> 00:12:51,400 Speaker 3: trying to play it safe. 301 00:12:51,440 --> 00:12:51,960 Speaker 2: At that point. 302 00:12:51,960 --> 00:12:53,959 Speaker 3: I knew she had social anxiety and it was against 303 00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,400 Speaker 3: meeting with me to get to know me previously, so 304 00:12:56,440 --> 00:12:59,200 Speaker 3: I thought I was respecting her boundary by not talking 305 00:12:59,240 --> 00:13:01,320 Speaker 3: to her. Howd I know when she came to personally 306 00:13:01,360 --> 00:13:03,280 Speaker 3: meet me, I would have tried to talk to her. 307 00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:05,640 Speaker 3: After learning why she came, I was surprised she did 308 00:13:05,679 --> 00:13:07,959 Speaker 3: not try to start a conversation with me or Maria. 309 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,560 Speaker 3: As for the booze, except for them, since they arrived late, 310 00:13:10,600 --> 00:13:12,559 Speaker 3: everyone had two to three drinks already because it was 311 00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:13,120 Speaker 3: a happy hour. 312 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:13,960 Speaker 2: Marie and I. 313 00:13:13,920 --> 00:13:17,200 Speaker 3: Made friends with the bartender who gave us discounted cocktails. 314 00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:19,720 Speaker 3: I ended up buying a drink for girlfriend, so she 315 00:13:19,720 --> 00:13:21,960 Speaker 3: should get the discount and then pay me back. It 316 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:24,040 Speaker 3: is true I said those jokes, but I was not 317 00:13:24,200 --> 00:13:26,760 Speaker 3: the one to bring them up. They were said in jest. 318 00:13:27,120 --> 00:13:30,720 Speaker 3: These were jokes already made in previous interactions. Later that week, 319 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:33,600 Speaker 3: Maria called me to catch up and mentioned the dinner. 320 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:35,920 Speaker 3: She commented that girlfriend made no effort to get to 321 00:13:35,960 --> 00:13:38,880 Speaker 3: know us, and thought girlfriend went to monitor him and me. 322 00:13:39,120 --> 00:13:42,080 Speaker 3: In essence, she ignored me and Maria and Maria and 323 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:44,760 Speaker 3: I ignored her. I did not go to the show 324 00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:47,440 Speaker 3: because I had a prior commitment. And then related to 325 00:13:47,480 --> 00:13:50,440 Speaker 3: the comments of like, oh, she's crossing major boundaries this 326 00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:52,520 Speaker 3: professor and she wants to have a spicy sleep. The 327 00:13:52,559 --> 00:13:55,600 Speaker 3: professor responds, as mentioned in her post, I did view 328 00:13:55,679 --> 00:13:56,959 Speaker 3: Bob as a brother. 329 00:13:57,240 --> 00:13:59,920 Speaker 4: Now that's also a little funny to me, because how 330 00:14:00,080 --> 00:14:02,240 Speaker 4: can you go from like, oh, he was just a 331 00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:04,800 Speaker 4: student in my class and I didn't really like have 332 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:07,280 Speaker 4: a crazy bond with him, and he like gave me 333 00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:08,960 Speaker 4: that gift at the end, and I went, oh, maybe 334 00:14:08,960 --> 00:14:11,760 Speaker 4: he is cool. Now he's at brother status. 335 00:14:11,880 --> 00:14:12,720 Speaker 2: I think you could be come. 336 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:16,079 Speaker 3: I mean, think about fraternity brothers one Hayes and you're 337 00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:16,559 Speaker 3: my brother. 338 00:14:16,760 --> 00:14:18,640 Speaker 4: I don't know, man, I never did that. I was 339 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:21,760 Speaker 4: never in it, And honestly, I think maybe that's being 340 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:23,080 Speaker 4: thrown around a little callously. 341 00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:26,360 Speaker 3: I'm I'm still tight with my fraternity brothers in my 342 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:30,920 Speaker 3: entrepreneurship fraternity. But Isham was my d that's my that's 343 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:32,080 Speaker 3: a brother. That's a brother. 344 00:14:32,160 --> 00:14:32,720 Speaker 2: That's a brother. 345 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,520 Speaker 3: He was my brother day one, four months once a 346 00:14:35,560 --> 00:14:38,360 Speaker 3: brother day one though, that's day one, but the one brother. 347 00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:40,920 Speaker 4: But this isn't they did, but they weren't in a frat, guys, 348 00:14:41,240 --> 00:14:45,920 Speaker 4: this is not that's not anime cons I think maybe 349 00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:48,360 Speaker 4: they did say something that I mean, she was shy. 350 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:52,640 Speaker 4: I think maybe they had like one like cornerstone conversation 351 00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:55,360 Speaker 4: that went, oh, we are actually cool. We're cool with 352 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:56,440 Speaker 4: each other, we're friends. 353 00:14:56,800 --> 00:14:58,720 Speaker 2: But that's a cool thing. I do agree with you. 354 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:01,120 Speaker 3: I mean, I think it is a bit fast to 355 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:04,760 Speaker 3: do to get to brother, but I do think those 356 00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:07,320 Speaker 3: things could happen quickly. Let us know if like brother 357 00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:08,440 Speaker 3: is a is a red flag. 358 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:10,880 Speaker 4: I think Tobe says, say, that's trauma bonding. 359 00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:14,360 Speaker 2: Yes, it is, it is. That's it's the best kind 360 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:17,640 Speaker 2: of bonding. Right. He lived similar experiences to me, But 361 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:19,840 Speaker 2: I felt like he was where I would have been 362 00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:22,480 Speaker 2: had I not moved out from my parents when I did. 363 00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:25,600 Speaker 3: Yeah, your boyfriend is where I would have been if 364 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:26,640 Speaker 3: I totally fed up. 365 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,840 Speaker 4: Yeah, if I hadn't grown and changed and become a 366 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:31,840 Speaker 4: better person than he'd be who I was. 367 00:15:32,040 --> 00:15:34,720 Speaker 3: I wanted to see him professionally thrive and accomplish his 368 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:37,160 Speaker 3: goals of getting a car and moving out, as those 369 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:40,840 Speaker 3: were things I strived for and had already attained. As 370 00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:42,640 Speaker 3: for the five to six times we met up, it 371 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:44,880 Speaker 3: was in group settings and he met all my friends 372 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:47,160 Speaker 3: and my husband as well. This post to me makes 373 00:15:47,200 --> 00:15:49,160 Speaker 3: it seem like I was always hanging on to Bob, 374 00:15:49,320 --> 00:15:52,000 Speaker 3: but there were many instances of me and my friends 375 00:15:52,000 --> 00:15:54,360 Speaker 3: breaking off to do our own thing. My husband and 376 00:15:54,480 --> 00:15:57,280 Speaker 3: Linda's husband were both okay with us going to the 377 00:15:57,320 --> 00:16:00,200 Speaker 3: Airbnb at the time, and later on met and got 378 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:02,840 Speaker 3: to know Bob too. Each time we met, if I drank, 379 00:16:02,880 --> 00:16:05,600 Speaker 3: I had two drinks and one time I had three. 380 00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:08,400 Speaker 3: I am not sure how Bob told these events to 381 00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:11,720 Speaker 3: his girlfriend, so it may just be lost in translation. 382 00:16:12,080 --> 00:16:14,880 Speaker 3: But the only person who ever got wasted at a 383 00:16:14,880 --> 00:16:17,040 Speaker 3: meetup was Maria, and it was once. I do not 384 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:19,320 Speaker 3: agree with her stating that it was constantly wasted for 385 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:22,280 Speaker 3: each meet up or always asking the slash inviting myself 386 00:16:22,320 --> 00:16:24,320 Speaker 3: to things. He invited me and Linda to join his 387 00:16:24,360 --> 00:16:27,000 Speaker 3: Airbnb group. I asked that Maria could also join. I 388 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:29,200 Speaker 3: did ask to join his group for another event until 389 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:31,960 Speaker 3: my friend group arrived, which included my husband, Linda and 390 00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:34,320 Speaker 3: Maria and his friend invited me to the group dinner. 391 00:16:34,440 --> 00:16:37,120 Speaker 3: Maria and attended. There's another relevant update. Hey, it's sam 392 00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:39,640 Speaker 3: og host. We're going to get back to these delectable stories. 393 00:16:39,680 --> 00:16:41,720 Speaker 3: But here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors to 394 00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:42,520 Speaker 3: help support the show. 395 00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:44,640 Speaker 2: We got. We got a little bit more. 396 00:16:44,680 --> 00:16:50,160 Speaker 3: But I feel like ex professor to me didn't cross 397 00:16:50,160 --> 00:16:52,800 Speaker 3: as many boundaries as I initially thought. And I, you know, 398 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:56,000 Speaker 3: I feel like it might be more or less okay, 399 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:57,200 Speaker 3: but I think so too. 400 00:16:57,280 --> 00:16:59,160 Speaker 2: But what I feel like you could you could play 401 00:16:59,160 --> 00:16:59,920 Speaker 2: the other side a little. 402 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:02,720 Speaker 4: But it's the thing is is once your a partner 403 00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:05,880 Speaker 4: comes to you and goes, hey, this makes me uncomfortable, change, 404 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:07,840 Speaker 4: that's when you change it. And that's exactly what they did. Yeah, 405 00:17:07,880 --> 00:17:09,600 Speaker 4: so everything that's happens to our on the story I 406 00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:11,760 Speaker 4: think is totally above board. Yeah, there was a comment 407 00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:14,000 Speaker 4: that was just up there. Oh. Tila Angels says, it 408 00:17:14,040 --> 00:17:16,639 Speaker 4: sounds like a territorial thing between females. It happens all 409 00:17:16,640 --> 00:17:18,840 Speaker 4: the time. Opie felt like she was being disrespected and 410 00:17:18,880 --> 00:17:20,639 Speaker 4: the professor felt like she had some kind of instant 411 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:23,560 Speaker 4: connection and wanted to deepen that connection without considering Ope. 412 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:29,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean and your friendship like isn't necessarily romantic. 413 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:31,879 Speaker 4: Two people of the opposite sex who are deeply like 414 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:35,680 Speaker 4: committed to another relationship like can like there you can't 415 00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:37,679 Speaker 4: be friends. Yeah, they were not going to this the 416 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:39,640 Speaker 4: AIRBB thing alone. I think there's like, you know, there's 417 00:17:39,680 --> 00:17:42,240 Speaker 4: clearly miscues or miscommunications about like who said what or 418 00:17:42,240 --> 00:17:44,280 Speaker 4: who offered what. But I think at the end of 419 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:46,919 Speaker 4: the day, this is more of an issue on like 420 00:17:47,280 --> 00:17:50,920 Speaker 4: respecting our partner's feelings yeah, which we did, Yeah, because 421 00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:53,000 Speaker 4: there was that effort made. And I think it. 422 00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:56,040 Speaker 3: Could also be about this focus on the waste, the wastedness. 423 00:17:56,240 --> 00:17:58,639 Speaker 4: I think it's a case of if you look for something, 424 00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:00,840 Speaker 4: you might see it. You know, if you're looking for like, oh, 425 00:18:00,920 --> 00:18:04,920 Speaker 4: well she was, like you're looking for reasons why maybe 426 00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:07,280 Speaker 4: this could be wrong or bad or inappropriate. It's like, yeah, 427 00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:10,679 Speaker 4: she was drinking, she was too drunk, like but you know, and. 428 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,920 Speaker 2: That's you know, she's like saying, no, I had two 429 00:18:12,920 --> 00:18:14,000 Speaker 2: to three drinks, and. 430 00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:16,199 Speaker 4: It's neither here nor there really because I mean, you 431 00:18:16,240 --> 00:18:19,600 Speaker 4: weren't there, op wasn't there that says, So it's from 432 00:18:19,640 --> 00:18:23,280 Speaker 4: a you know, third third hand, second hand knowledge, I think. 433 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:26,080 Speaker 3: But what I'm seeing right now, as I'm saying, I'm 434 00:18:26,119 --> 00:18:30,520 Speaker 3: seeing a decent amount of platonicness. Yeah, I feel like this, 435 00:18:30,520 --> 00:18:32,960 Speaker 3: this could be platonic. But I also do see in 436 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:36,359 Speaker 3: the chat, like, you know, people being like maybe maybe 437 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:38,560 Speaker 3: she was still trying trying to make moves. But the 438 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:40,320 Speaker 3: more I read this, the more I'm like, you know, 439 00:18:40,359 --> 00:18:41,160 Speaker 3: what do you think, Riley? 440 00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:43,400 Speaker 5: I think it's platonic on her end. 441 00:18:43,760 --> 00:18:46,800 Speaker 3: Oh you're switching, so you think you think it's platonic 442 00:18:46,840 --> 00:18:48,239 Speaker 3: on her end, but not platonic on his. 443 00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:51,919 Speaker 4: Yeah, there is a conspiracy cooking that Bob might be 444 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:54,680 Speaker 4: playing the two ladies against each other, but. 445 00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:58,200 Speaker 5: Probably because who's the mineral? Who is the middle man here? 446 00:18:58,520 --> 00:18:59,920 Speaker 2: He's the middle man, He's a man in the middle, 447 00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:00,920 Speaker 2: he's the meet in the middle. 448 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:03,399 Speaker 5: I just think, I don't know, I don't like it 449 00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:06,879 Speaker 5: because the girlfriend maybe given him eighty percent, but the 450 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:10,680 Speaker 5: professor's given that twenty percent of those cool anime expos 451 00:19:10,760 --> 00:19:13,280 Speaker 5: and go to all those cool events he has always 452 00:19:13,320 --> 00:19:14,080 Speaker 5: wanted to go to. 453 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:18,280 Speaker 4: He's kind of windows shopping a little bit. She might 454 00:19:18,280 --> 00:19:20,280 Speaker 4: have also been more drunk than she thought she was. 455 00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:24,000 Speaker 3: Oh yeah, like two to three drinks looks a lot 456 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:29,720 Speaker 3: different on like me versus you know, like yeah then 457 00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:33,480 Speaker 3: Sofia or like you know, like a five foot flat lady, 458 00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:34,000 Speaker 3: which you know. 459 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:36,240 Speaker 4: There was also another comment I can't remember who made 460 00:19:36,240 --> 00:19:39,040 Speaker 4: it about how I consider Sophia's sister and how it's 461 00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:41,040 Speaker 4: like I can't have it both ways. It is different. 462 00:19:41,119 --> 00:19:43,840 Speaker 4: Me and Sofia work together five days a week for 463 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:49,800 Speaker 4: ten months, like we'd close. This was like a acquaintance ship, yeah, 464 00:19:49,840 --> 00:19:52,280 Speaker 4: between the two of them that I guess at some 465 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:55,280 Speaker 4: point it was like she imprinted her own stuff onto 466 00:19:55,280 --> 00:19:57,879 Speaker 4: this guy, being like, oh we had similar situations. I 467 00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,879 Speaker 4: kind of almost like it almost kind of felt like 468 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,919 Speaker 4: he was talking like a baby bird, like under my 469 00:20:02,080 --> 00:20:03,120 Speaker 4: like I brought him under my wing. 470 00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,800 Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, but I think I think that's what she 471 00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:07,960 Speaker 3: thinks of him as a little brother. Yeah, I think 472 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:09,960 Speaker 3: that's what she thinks of him as ming ming Is 473 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:13,440 Speaker 3: wants us to talk about how op absolutely is just. 474 00:20:13,480 --> 00:20:16,760 Speaker 2: Throwing Maria under the bus and that's pretty funny. 475 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:21,240 Speaker 3: It's like I wasn't I wouldn't completely hammered, but Maria, who. 476 00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:24,120 Speaker 4: Yeah, Gota got after it? 477 00:20:24,280 --> 00:20:27,879 Speaker 2: Yeah, what's the song? How do you solve a problem 478 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:28,679 Speaker 2: with movie? 479 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:30,920 Speaker 4: I don't know what you're talking about. 480 00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:33,880 Speaker 2: You don't know that song, Noper what no one knows 481 00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:34,280 Speaker 2: that song? 482 00:20:34,320 --> 00:20:35,840 Speaker 4: Come on, who knows that song? 483 00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:38,240 Speaker 2: On bus? That's what you do with Maria. But we 484 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:39,639 Speaker 2: got we got more to this story. 485 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:41,960 Speaker 3: We also there was a a Nissa Julia had a 486 00:20:41,960 --> 00:20:44,320 Speaker 3: comment that I wanted to read really quick, And Nissa 487 00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:47,280 Speaker 3: Julia says, Sam, a month ago you called out my relationship, 488 00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:49,560 Speaker 3: saying that it was other problems with us, and now 489 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:53,200 Speaker 3: he's my ex. Thank you so much, Sam, I'm glad 490 00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:57,280 Speaker 3: you uh dropped some dead weight doing work, doing the work, 491 00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:59,639 Speaker 3: doing the work, the man of the people, man of 492 00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:02,800 Speaker 3: the people, the people's champ. I appreciate you know what. 493 00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,600 Speaker 3: This is a new chapter for you, so get excited. 494 00:21:05,680 --> 00:21:06,640 Speaker 4: Congratulations. 495 00:21:06,680 --> 00:21:09,200 Speaker 3: To this day, his girlfriend has never said a word 496 00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,760 Speaker 3: to me or Maria. She did not say hi, only 497 00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,240 Speaker 3: wave to us, nor us to her when I offered 498 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,480 Speaker 3: order and bring her a cocktail from the bar. I 499 00:21:16,480 --> 00:21:19,399 Speaker 3: believe Bob was the only one who responded to my offer. 500 00:21:19,600 --> 00:21:22,240 Speaker 3: I haven't found out about what she was thinking via 501 00:21:22,480 --> 00:21:25,640 Speaker 3: this best rhetter updates post Linda, Marie, and I haven't 502 00:21:25,640 --> 00:21:28,600 Speaker 3: talked to Bob since this was a cathartic RTE with Maria, 503 00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,280 Speaker 3: as it is very jarring. Randomly fine a post about 504 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:34,480 Speaker 3: yourself and then also have someone find you from that post, 505 00:21:34,560 --> 00:21:36,840 Speaker 3: and we got some relevant comments. Commenter says there are 506 00:21:36,840 --> 00:21:39,479 Speaker 3: always two sides of these stories, the jealouz significant other 507 00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:41,400 Speaker 3: and the other person I hope. He responds, I think 508 00:21:41,400 --> 00:21:43,840 Speaker 3: it was just bad communication, but it seems that I 509 00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:46,080 Speaker 3: was expected to somehow know she came to the final 510 00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:48,040 Speaker 3: dinner to get to know me, but all I knew 511 00:21:48,320 --> 00:21:50,639 Speaker 3: was that one she re directed getting to know me 512 00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,199 Speaker 3: in the past, citing she was uncomfortable, and two she 513 00:21:53,240 --> 00:21:55,119 Speaker 3: did not try to talk to me or my friend 514 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:57,719 Speaker 3: at the dinner for the entire three hours we were 515 00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:00,720 Speaker 3: all present together. And another commeder says, person, I drop 516 00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:04,320 Speaker 3: all communication with him and forget both of them even exists, 517 00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:06,480 Speaker 3: not worth the trouble they bring to your life, and 518 00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:09,240 Speaker 3: hope He responds that is what ended up happening. Bob 519 00:22:09,520 --> 00:22:11,679 Speaker 3: was angry that ignored his girlfriend at the dinner, but 520 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:14,639 Speaker 3: I thought it was an unspoken agreement to mutually ignore 521 00:22:14,680 --> 00:22:16,720 Speaker 3: each other to avoid any awkward, dude. 522 00:22:16,720 --> 00:22:19,240 Speaker 4: No way you believe that. I'm sorry, no one has 523 00:22:19,320 --> 00:22:22,520 Speaker 4: ever believed that ignoring someone sitting right in front of 524 00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:25,040 Speaker 4: you like they don't exist is less awkward than making 525 00:22:25,080 --> 00:22:26,159 Speaker 4: polite conversation. 526 00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:27,480 Speaker 2: That's completely agree. 527 00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:30,280 Speaker 4: I'm calling you out for that. That's completely agree. I 528 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:33,800 Speaker 4: do completely agree you just you should have just been kind. Yeah, 529 00:22:33,840 --> 00:22:36,919 Speaker 4: and feel I feel it is always more awkward to 530 00:22:36,960 --> 00:22:39,760 Speaker 4: ignore a person. Yeah, always come on, And that's almost 531 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:41,800 Speaker 4: even that's what they want. Now, I'm like, you're playing 532 00:22:41,840 --> 00:22:43,919 Speaker 4: the game. You're like, fine, if she wants to just 533 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,320 Speaker 4: like not talk to me, or if she's uncomfortable with 534 00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:47,960 Speaker 4: me talking to that, and I guess I won't. 535 00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:50,320 Speaker 3: That is such a good point even, like, but she 536 00:22:50,440 --> 00:22:52,119 Speaker 3: could have thought that's what she wanted. 537 00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:54,480 Speaker 4: But come on, you're a human being. Yeah, you're you're 538 00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:55,280 Speaker 4: a human. 539 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:56,679 Speaker 2: Let us not I know. Now, let us know if 540 00:22:56,680 --> 00:22:57,760 Speaker 2: you agree or disagree. 541 00:22:58,280 --> 00:23:01,320 Speaker 4: I guess if you're on a SAE, it's actually you 542 00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:05,200 Speaker 4: can be you know, there's a lack of social cues because. 543 00:23:06,640 --> 00:23:08,840 Speaker 3: She could be did have social anxiety. But let us 544 00:23:08,880 --> 00:23:10,600 Speaker 3: know what you think. So a commenter says, for me, 545 00:23:10,800 --> 00:23:13,600 Speaker 3: it was Bob agreeing that you were being inappropriate to 546 00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:15,960 Speaker 3: the point that he called you and directly asked you 547 00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,359 Speaker 3: to limit your contact with him. You then rudely don't 548 00:23:18,400 --> 00:23:20,280 Speaker 3: say hi to either of them at a dinner when 549 00:23:20,280 --> 00:23:22,879 Speaker 3: everyone else does, until he decided to tease Bob about 550 00:23:22,880 --> 00:23:24,920 Speaker 3: the period you were his teacher. I'm not shocked the 551 00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:29,120 Speaker 3: girlfriend and Bob were so uncomfortable with this interaction, Op responded, 552 00:23:29,119 --> 00:23:31,080 Speaker 3: sure that his fair assessment. I said hi to both 553 00:23:31,160 --> 00:23:32,840 Speaker 3: them in their direction because I did not want to 554 00:23:32,840 --> 00:23:35,440 Speaker 3: address either one individually, just in case it made them uncomfortable. 555 00:23:35,520 --> 00:23:37,040 Speaker 3: I left the table to go to the bathroom, and 556 00:23:37,080 --> 00:23:39,879 Speaker 3: when I came back, they were there. Hindsight is twenty twenty, 557 00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:41,840 Speaker 3: and I can say that I should have talked to them, 558 00:23:41,880 --> 00:23:44,080 Speaker 3: since it is now clear she attended the dinner to 559 00:23:44,119 --> 00:23:46,400 Speaker 3: meet me. I had thought not talk to them after 560 00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:49,000 Speaker 3: Bob asked me to limit contact with him, and not 561 00:23:49,119 --> 00:23:51,720 Speaker 3: talking to his girlfriend was respecting their boundary. I'm going 562 00:23:51,760 --> 00:23:54,240 Speaker 3: to update my posts, though, to note that I did 563 00:23:54,280 --> 00:23:58,400 Speaker 3: not initiate those jokes. I feel like like going back 564 00:23:58,440 --> 00:24:02,960 Speaker 3: to what Dakota said. I remember just slight okay storytime 565 00:24:03,080 --> 00:24:04,439 Speaker 3: where there's a little bit more to the story, but 566 00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:07,680 Speaker 3: slight okay, storytime, one of my roommates said I gotta 567 00:24:07,720 --> 00:24:09,439 Speaker 3: go to Puerto Rico and then just left for a 568 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:11,800 Speaker 3: month and left us with this random roommate like that 569 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:15,000 Speaker 3: he found on Facebook marketplace. Like within three days she 570 00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:18,800 Speaker 3: came in and was the weirdest person ever. Said she 571 00:24:18,840 --> 00:24:21,040 Speaker 3: was allergic to the sun and only went out at night, 572 00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:26,000 Speaker 3: like like and like she was literally a vampire. She 573 00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:28,400 Speaker 3: would this was like a couple days in a row. 574 00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:31,000 Speaker 3: She would Christian and I were sleeping in the same 575 00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:33,679 Speaker 3: room because we used to share a room together, and 576 00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:37,680 Speaker 3: she would stand in the doorway and go Christian Sam, 577 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:42,240 Speaker 3: Christian Sam, Christian Sam, Christian Sam, until we woke up 578 00:24:42,359 --> 00:24:45,159 Speaker 3: and and were like what is it? And she's like, 579 00:24:45,480 --> 00:24:47,600 Speaker 3: I'm home and then would like giggle and run off 580 00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:49,600 Speaker 3: back to her room. It was and there was like 581 00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:52,359 Speaker 3: a whole host of other things. But basically after she 582 00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:54,440 Speaker 3: did that a couple of times I was like, hey, 583 00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:58,520 Speaker 3: like you really like like you can't like creepily yell 584 00:24:58,600 --> 00:25:01,520 Speaker 3: at our names in the mi the night, like we 585 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:03,800 Speaker 3: need some space, right Like I feel like I need 586 00:25:03,800 --> 00:25:04,200 Speaker 3: some space. 587 00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:05,960 Speaker 4: I'm glad you survived. 588 00:25:06,160 --> 00:25:10,439 Speaker 3: What she did after that is anytime I entered the 589 00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:13,840 Speaker 3: kitchen with her or any room, she would drop everything 590 00:25:14,000 --> 00:25:16,439 Speaker 3: on the floor and go put her face in a corner, 591 00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:19,160 Speaker 3: and I feel like this is a little bit what 592 00:25:19,200 --> 00:25:22,439 Speaker 3: the professor is doing kind of it's like, oh, you 593 00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:24,639 Speaker 3: want to get space, let me go like in the 594 00:25:24,680 --> 00:25:26,400 Speaker 3: corner real quick, is there anything? 595 00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:28,120 Speaker 5: What are the other little things she would do? 596 00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:29,640 Speaker 2: Oh dude, there was so much. 597 00:25:29,640 --> 00:25:31,440 Speaker 3: She said she got abducted by a cult and like 598 00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:33,919 Speaker 3: Christian had to save her. Like she gave us like 599 00:25:33,960 --> 00:25:36,480 Speaker 3: a bunch of cookies like months after it, like it 600 00:25:36,520 --> 00:25:38,280 Speaker 3: was like you did not eat those We did not 601 00:25:38,359 --> 00:25:40,760 Speaker 3: eat those cookies. She knocked on the door and started 602 00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:42,640 Speaker 3: bang on the door and she's like, I brought your cookies. 603 00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:44,560 Speaker 2: Like it was like I just think she was very 604 00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:45,480 Speaker 2: you know, socially. 605 00:25:45,800 --> 00:25:49,959 Speaker 3: Also, she would she got a record player and got 606 00:25:50,119 --> 00:25:53,680 Speaker 3: the Looney Tunes version of what the When You're Jet 607 00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:54,639 Speaker 3: You're a West Side story? 608 00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:57,000 Speaker 2: Put it on blast and like this was the. 609 00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:59,600 Speaker 3: Day after I said I need some space, and was 610 00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:01,680 Speaker 3: a great regressively cooking eggs. 611 00:26:01,520 --> 00:26:03,080 Speaker 2: To the point where the eggs were. 612 00:26:03,040 --> 00:26:06,560 Speaker 3: Splattering all over and was banging the pots like like 613 00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:08,480 Speaker 3: I put it down, and I'm like, hey, like, is 614 00:26:08,520 --> 00:26:09,040 Speaker 3: everything okay? 615 00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,840 Speaker 2: And that's when she went into the corner and like, yeah. 616 00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:16,200 Speaker 4: It was you just had a deeply disturbed random roommate. 617 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:18,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, and she was like thirty fove too. To add 618 00:26:18,600 --> 00:26:21,639 Speaker 3: more context, Yeah, and I think. 619 00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:23,440 Speaker 4: She fell in love with the wildest thing you could 620 00:26:23,480 --> 00:26:25,200 Speaker 4: have ever added to that that she's thirty five. 621 00:26:25,240 --> 00:26:27,640 Speaker 2: She's thirty five, and she fell in love with Christian. 622 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:32,760 Speaker 3: Was literally texting Christian every day, like literally every like 623 00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:36,680 Speaker 3: Christian has had this happen so many times, it's gotten worse. 624 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:38,439 Speaker 2: I am off topic. I need to go back to 625 00:26:38,480 --> 00:26:38,879 Speaker 2: the store. 626 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,919 Speaker 4: This is beautiful A little bit. I would say that 627 00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:45,360 Speaker 4: the professor is giving like two percent of that energy. 628 00:26:46,920 --> 00:26:50,840 Speaker 4: But it's there. It's there, undeniably. Yeah, it's lurking. 629 00:26:50,880 --> 00:26:51,840 Speaker 2: It's a little there. 630 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:54,320 Speaker 3: But I'm going to update my post though, to note 631 00:26:54,320 --> 00:26:56,240 Speaker 3: that I did not initiate those jokes. A guy at 632 00:26:56,240 --> 00:26:58,680 Speaker 3: the table mentioned it first, and I confirmed slash ribbed 633 00:26:58,680 --> 00:27:01,120 Speaker 3: his bit. Commentary May asked your age and how long 634 00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:03,480 Speaker 3: you've been married. Do you think the drinks embolded you 635 00:27:03,520 --> 00:27:06,199 Speaker 3: to engage the other person's ribbing of Bob after you 636 00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:08,760 Speaker 3: blatantly ignored him, or was it your turn to talk 637 00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:10,879 Speaker 3: to Bob after he asked you to chill. Opie says, 638 00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:14,399 Speaker 3: not sure why you are downvoted, but we were twenty 639 00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:16,520 Speaker 3: six at the time and I was engaged. Then I 640 00:27:16,560 --> 00:27:18,639 Speaker 3: referred to my husband as such because it seemed natural. 641 00:27:18,960 --> 00:27:21,119 Speaker 3: Like I explained in a separate comment, Bob and his 642 00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:23,399 Speaker 3: girlfriend did not talk to me or Maria, and we 643 00:27:23,440 --> 00:27:24,720 Speaker 3: did not talk to them either. 644 00:27:25,000 --> 00:27:26,119 Speaker 2: His girlfriend stayed. 645 00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:28,159 Speaker 3: By his side the entire time, and I wasn't about 646 00:27:28,200 --> 00:27:29,800 Speaker 3: to walk up to both of them and try to 647 00:27:29,800 --> 00:27:32,560 Speaker 3: have a friendly conversation after knowing they were both uncomfortable 648 00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:35,240 Speaker 3: with me. Thought it was a mutual, unspoken ignoring of 649 00:27:35,240 --> 00:27:37,159 Speaker 3: each other. They seem to have a good time, and 650 00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:39,040 Speaker 3: me and Maria had a good time. I didn't know 651 00:27:39,080 --> 00:27:41,000 Speaker 3: that they were offended. I didn't talk to them until 652 00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:43,680 Speaker 3: after I found the original Reddit post as for engaging 653 00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:46,000 Speaker 3: in the ribbing, that was the vibe in the entire night. 654 00:27:46,160 --> 00:27:48,679 Speaker 3: There's a good time with friends, sometimes poking fun at 655 00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:51,240 Speaker 3: each other, but not seriously. Even at that point, I 656 00:27:51,320 --> 00:27:54,320 Speaker 3: still did not directly talk to Bob. I just acknowledged 657 00:27:54,320 --> 00:27:56,800 Speaker 3: the joke gesture towards Bob as I was speaking, and 658 00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:59,560 Speaker 3: confirmed the joke a different person at the table made 659 00:27:59,800 --> 00:28:04,280 Speaker 3: and that was it, and that is where this story ends. 660 00:28:04,560 --> 00:28:07,400 Speaker 4: I think there's no universe in which if she did 661 00:28:07,400 --> 00:28:10,080 Speaker 4: have a little crush on Bob, she's gonna go I mean, yeah, 662 00:28:10,119 --> 00:28:12,600 Speaker 4: I had a little crush on Bob, but I wasn't 663 00:28:12,640 --> 00:28:15,600 Speaker 4: gonna be weird about it. Yeah, it would make a 664 00:28:15,600 --> 00:28:18,119 Speaker 4: lot of sense that she goes, hey, look everything is 665 00:28:18,119 --> 00:28:20,560 Speaker 4: above board blah blah blah blah blah, but barring some 666 00:28:20,680 --> 00:28:23,560 Speaker 4: sort of like you know, it is some kind of it. 667 00:28:23,600 --> 00:28:25,280 Speaker 4: Because people on the spectrum it's like if you have 668 00:28:25,320 --> 00:28:27,520 Speaker 4: add or it's like you've autism. It's like sometimes you 669 00:28:27,520 --> 00:28:30,400 Speaker 4: can like lose you're not really aware of like your 670 00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:33,520 Speaker 4: social cues or like proper social like procedures. So it 671 00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:35,840 Speaker 4: could make sense like if someone tells you, oh, like 672 00:28:36,080 --> 00:28:37,960 Speaker 4: if you find out, oh, this person doesn't want to 673 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:39,080 Speaker 4: know me or get to know me or talk to 674 00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:41,360 Speaker 4: me at all, maybe you would kind of hyper zoom 675 00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:42,800 Speaker 4: in on that and be like, well, then now I'm 676 00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:45,040 Speaker 4: gonna actually ignore them, even though they're sitting across the 677 00:28:45,080 --> 00:28:47,120 Speaker 4: table from me, And like it could be coming from 678 00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:50,000 Speaker 4: a misguided place. I'm more suspicious that it's coming from 679 00:28:50,000 --> 00:28:54,560 Speaker 4: that two percent milk version of You're crazy insane Room. 680 00:28:54,880 --> 00:28:57,440 Speaker 3: Yeah, Facebook, Yeah, I feel like it's giving a little 681 00:28:57,480 --> 00:28:59,400 Speaker 3: bit of that energy. But you know, at the end 682 00:28:59,440 --> 00:29:02,160 Speaker 3: of the day, I feel like it seems like everything 683 00:29:02,280 --> 00:29:05,840 Speaker 3: was above board. It seems like it was just a miscommunication. 684 00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:08,800 Speaker 3: I don't think there was any spicy sleep, but I 685 00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:11,280 Speaker 3: would love to know from you guys what you think 686 00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:13,120 Speaker 3: is this relationship above board? 687 00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:15,640 Speaker 2: Is it not? How do you think it's spiraled? 688 00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:18,200 Speaker 3: Let us known the comments, But with that, that's the 689 00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:21,760 Speaker 3: end of this episode. So if you love us, make 690 00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:25,360 Speaker 3: sure to subscribe We Love you, and see it tomorrow.